PRIME April 2020

APRIL

2020

A MAGAZINE FOR MATURE ADULTS

2

THE GOOD PASTOR

4

OLD GUY HAIRCUTS

5

5 KEYS TO REMAINING RESILIENT

A S P E C I A L P U B L I C AT I O N T H E B O Z E M A N D A I LY C H R O N I C L E

2 I April 2020 PRIME

A note from the editor Do you know a senior who should be featured in a future edition of Prime? Email your suggestions to Hannah Stiff at hstiff@dailychronicle.com.

The Good Pastor. . ................................................................................2 Old Guy Haircuts.................................................................................4 5 Keys to Remaining Resilient.. .......................................................5 Saying Yes When I Mean No.. ............................................................8 Barberry...............................................................................................9 How Much Will Market Volatility Really Affect You?............... 10 Senior Citizen Center Information.............................................. 11

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THE GOOD PASTOR

By Hannah Stiff

S

teve Schmidt’s church has an open-door policy.

From the middle school students studying in the church gym, to the adults in Wonderlust programs, nursery school kids attending on-site preschool, to Master Gardeners, the Audubon Society, families with pets to bless, university choral groups and more, Hope Lutheran Church is a place for people gather.

“When people find out what I do, they tell me, ‘Oh yeah, my Audubon group meets at your church.’ Or, ‘I play pickle ball at your church,’” Schmidt says with a laugh. “I tell them, ‘You know we have services here on Sunday, too.’”

Schmidt says that each month, nearly 50 different groups host activities at the church. All those activities are in addition to Hope Lutheran’s weekly Sunday services. Though many who are part of a group or activity at the church don’t attend services there, Schmidt doesn’t mind.

“For Hope (Lutheran), we’re continually trying to find out, ‘How do we serve the community?’” Schmidt says. “Congregations can become inwardly focused. How do you remain outwardly focused when there are changes and challenges to every congregation?”

Looking outward means opening the doors to the church, Schmidt says. It means the congregation volunteers at Fork & Spoon Café and has freely leased land to God’s Garden to produce food for the food bank. It means the church’s youth

PRIME April 2020 I 3

get outside to fix trails alongside the Gallatin Valley Land Trust. It means Hope Lutheran partners with six other congregations to operate a mobile soup kitchen outside Wal Mart.

And for Schmidt, it means becoming entrenched in the people around him, and speaking up when necessary.

“I believe I live in the community and I’m not just the pastor,” Schmidt explains. “I spoke in favor of the non-discrimination act when the Bozeman commission was considering that. The Lutheran church has always been about grace. I believe you have to go visit people in the hospital and the prison.”

He doesn’t mean metaphorically, either. Hope Lutheran has a ministry in the Montana State Prison.

Schmidt visits his sick parishioners in the hospital. He speaks at the big life events, like weddings, funerals, and baptisms. Schmidt calls these rhythms and rituals his “pastoral care” for his congregation.

“It’s my number one focus,” Schmidt explains. “How do I serve these people as their pastor.”

Schmidt has been serving the Bozeman church for 12 years. He was recruited to Hope Lutheran from Connecticut, where he says he was happily leading a church and raising a family for 24 years. In a system not unlike online-dating, Lutheran churches in need of a pastor create an internet listing. That listing describes what the church is looking for in its new pastor. A committee from the church gathers names of candidates and asks them to interview with the church. That process includes Skype interviews, interviews with the committee, and finally, an on-site job interview to meet the potential new match,

Hope Lutheran Church. Then, the congregation votes. Two-thirds of the congregation must approve the pastoral candidate before he or she can be offered the job.

“I said a little prayer one night,” Schmidt says. “If six or more people vote against me, I won’t go (to Bozeman). I don’t need to leave.”

But in the end, he did leave Connecticut. The vote from the Hope Lutheran congregation was unanimous, not a single vote was tallied against Schmidt.

“I believe God send us signs,” Schmidt says. “So, we sold our house in Connecticut and traded the ocean for the mountains.”

In the 12 years that followed, Schmidt shepherded his church through trying times, like the Lutheran church’s decision in 2009

to ordain gay and lesbian pastors.

Though the decision was made from on high (the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America handed down the decision), Hope lost nearly 25% of the congregation. The timing was difficult, Schmidt recalls. Hope Lutheran had only recently completed its 33,000-square-foot church and campus on South 19th Avenue. The congregation that remained banded together with the intent of remaining a welcome place of worship.

“My job was to come and love the people and move forward,” Schmidt says.

That ethos hasn’t changed much in 12 years. These days though, Schmidt is focusing on the question, “How do we change?”

Millennials, for example, tend to be “episodic” about their church

attendance. How, Schmidt queries aloud in his office on a recent spring day, does the church welcome those millennials to church more regularly?

“Our mission is, ‘welcome, equip and serve,’” Schmidt says. “How are we doing in each arena? Are we welcoming others in our community?

As church is changing, as society is changing, how do we?”

Perhaps the church needs a younger pastor, Schmidt suggests. As he knocks on the door of 70-yearsold, Schmidt knows his final adventures will include more travel with his wife, more fly fishing and hiking.

Who knows, maybe he’ll even join a hobby group he’s welcomed to his church. Whatever he decides, Schmidt will continue to espouse the Lutheran value of grace, acted out in service to community.

4 I April 2020 PRIME

bloody bandages in front of the barber shop to dry. Nowadays the red and white pole is only occasionally used for that purpose but does signify that you can get an honest to goodness old guy haircut.

OLD GUY HAIRCUTS

Several of the old guys don’t have any hair on top but some on the sides.

They don’t need haircuts very often.

One who is bald on top never gets a haircut and just lets the sides grow.

As his hair lengthens, he wraps it into a ponytail in the back. Every spring when he is trimming his hedge, he reaches over a shoulder with the pruning shears and lops about five gray inches from the ponytail. He claims that women admire his hair style.

By Jim Drummond

Then there are a few old guys at the waterhole who don’t use a barber but go to a beautician for a haircut. I asked why.

R

ecently at the old guy waterhole, one of the g roup asked the rest of us for a recommendation for a barber. Somebody asked, “I thought you had a good barber?”

“I do,” was the response, “But I think he has been drinking too much lately and he makes me nervous when his razor trims the back of my neck.”

Hearing the barber concerns at the waterhole, I felt fortunate that I have had the same barber since high school. He isn’t much of a drinker and I can trust him with a straight razor or scissors alongside my jugular. Del was also my father’s barber, and my grandfather’s as well. My father and my grandfather had a full head of hair into their 90’s, and I still have my hair, so Del has earned his salary over the years. One thing about old guys is that we don’t relish change, so I’m appreciative that I haven’t had to train a new barber.

Most of us old guys had long hair when we were young. Mine was well

over my ears and collar. Many old guys recall using conditioners and fluffing blow dryers to emulate the comedians on Saturday Night Live. As us young fellows matured into older fellows, our hair styles changed. Each year mine became a bit shorter. Not that I wanted it shorter, but my barber was just very good at slowly giving me a professional appearance without me knowing. Shortly after I was married, my hair began to turn gray. I’m not sure what caused the gray but am confident that it was only coincidental with marriage. With increasing gray, I finally gave Del the instruction, “Bring it above the ears and collar, and give it a good thinning, and that’s all I need.”

That has been my monthly expectation for many years.

Now when I sit in the barber’s chair each month, and before I can utter a word, Del says, “Bring it above the ears, and clear the collar, and give it a good thinning?” I nod in agreement.

Then each month I ask, “Could you trim out the gray?”

He responds, “Yes, but you won’t have any hair left.”

“Ah, ha, ha, ha,” we both laugh as if that were a new jest that we hadn’t been reciting for decades. When the shearing begins, we talk about sports, and fishing, and ATVs. Time flies as clipped hair hits the floor.

One change that I have noticed since I became an old guy is that Del now asks if I want my eyebrows trimmed...and my ears. He also gives my nostrils a sideways look. One old fellow did enlighten me that as you get older, the hair on the top of your head thins, but the deep roots remain and poke out in the most unfortunate locations.

Most of the other old guys at the waterhole also have a consistent and reliable barber. One commented that it is important for a barber to have a red and white striped barber pole out front. The red and white barber pole dates back to the 1500’s when barbers were also surgeons. They would wrap

“Well, she rubs her fingers through my hair before she starts, then she rubs my neck while she is cutting my hair, then she rubs her fingers through my hair again when she is done.”

I asked him, “Does she talk about fishing?”

“No,” he responded.

I further inquired, “Does she talk about four-wheelers or football?”

“Nope” he said, “But she gives a very good haircut.”

I guess I am just an old guy who enjoys talking about four-wheelers and fishing, and having the same haircut from month to month. My next appointment is already booked with Del and his red and white striped barber pole.

Jim Drummond is a new contributor to the Prime section. Look for more of his witty repartee in upcoming editions of Prime.

PRIME April 2020 I 5

5 KEYS TO REMAINING RESILIENT

By Nancy Ruby

W

e’re seeing some pretty wild stuff right now. Unfortunately, fear is spreading fast and far. Which is a problem as excessive stress depletes immunity. Just as viruses are passed from person to person, so do emotional states, like fear. Therefore, in addition to hand washing, covering coughs, and social distancing, one of the most important things you can do is to regulate your nervous system.

Just as you might limit your exposure to crowds, limit your exposure to other people’s fears by limiting time on social media and listening to endless news updates.

Once or twice a day is plenty. Focus your energy on taking care of yourself, your loved ones, your community.

We all react differently to stress and trauma. Some of us shut down and some

of us ramp up. Somewhere in the middle there is mindfulness—being in the present moment without judgment or avoidance.

It takes practice, but it’s one of the purest and most ancient forms of healing and resilience-building.

Resilience - an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

Resilience means knowing how to cope in spite of setbacks, or barriers, or limited resources. It has to do with your emotional strength.

FIVE KEY STRESS RESILIENCE SKILLS 1.

Self-awareness – Resilient people are aware of situations, their own emotional reactions and the behavior of those around them. ... By remaining aware, you can maintain a sense of control and think of new ways to tackle problems.

2.

Attention – Being focused means being in the here and now. When you’re not focused, your mind tends to be either

worrying about the future or regretting the past. And that’s where you generally find stress and unhappiness.

3.

Let go physically – A walk in nature, an Epson salt bath, or gentle yoga practice will help ease muscular tension and help calm the body, reduce restlessness and agitation.

4.

Let go mentally – Separating yourself from your own thinking and the narratives playing in your head can help differentiate your thoughts, beliefs and stories about the world, from the world in itself.

Practice meditation daily to clear your mind.

5.

Accessing and sustaining positive emotions – At the heart of resilience is a belief in oneself—and also a belief in something larger than oneself. Most of us want the same things – to be happy, to be healthy, to be safe, and to be at ease. Begin and end each day with a Loving Kindness Meditation for yourself and the world.

MAY I BE HAPPY MAY I BE HEALTHY MAY I BE SAFE MAY I BE AT EASE MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY MAY ALL BEINGS BE HEALTHY MAY ALL BEINGS BE SAFE MAY ALL BEINGS BE AT EASE.

Nancy Ruby runs YogaMotion Wellness Academy in Bozeman and describes herself as an educator, joyologist and lifestyle engineer. She has been sharing her teachings in yoga and wellness education for the past 40 years. Ruby currently specializes in supporting the health and wellbeing of Baby Boomers and beyond.

6 I April 2020 PRIME

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PRIME April 2020 I 7

8 I April 2020 PRIME

SAYING YES WHEN I MEAN NO

By Lois Stephens

M

ost of us were raised to be respectful, to offer help in times of need, to make ourselves useful, and to say yes when someone asks a favor. We were taught to do what we could to help and assist someone when asked or needed, and to try hard not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

I’ve decided I’ve mixed up a few of those directives along the path of life.

I know that when people ask me to do something or they want a favor of one sort or another, I have mistakenly decided somewhere or other along the way that to say no would upset them, put them at a disadvantage, cause them problems, or leave them in a true bind.

This leaves me with the excruciating option of saying ‘yes’ when most of the time I really want to say ‘no’. I put myself out, and I cause problems in my own life because I say yes when I really need to say no. I find myself doing favors for someone, staying late at work or coming in early, giving up my own plans, and having to rearrange my own life schedule because I have this terrible inability to say NO. This unfortunate state of affairs then spills over into other aspects of my life.

I end up staying at a job or performing some sort of volunteer work long after the thrill of the situation disappears and turns into drudgery or just another haveto-but-really-don’t-want-to situation.

However, I continue to sit on committees because no one else steps forward. I stay at a job long after I need to leave because help is hard to find. I accept changed schedules, additional tasks, and no end of

other inconveniences for myself just because I cannot say no with any authority.

A sad look, a sigh of despair, a comment that someone really will be totally at a loss if I cannot help them out in a particular situation will generally bring out my feelings of guilt or sympathy. So, I grit my teeth, agree to one more day or one more week or one more whatever it is that someone else seems to need or want in order to better their own predicament.

As an example, an acquaintance asked me last month if I could help him out on a project for a few days a week during May and early June. I do not want to assist in this endeavor as it truly does not interest me. Did I say that? Of course not. I waffled, even though I definitely know I do NOT want to do it. I prevaricated. I told him that I wasn’t sure yet what I was doing this summer or what my schedule would be. We left it at that, but if he asks again, I already know I can use a “conflicting schedule” and “other obligations” line as an excuse.

But why do I feel the need to have an excuse? Why can’t I just say, “No thank you, that is not for me, but thanks for asking.”?

I realize we are, in good part, a result

of our upbringing. But temperament plays a role as well. It is very difficult for me to disappoint or upset anyone, and that leads to my downfall. It is not only the agreeing to do something, but the trying to gracefully extricate myself from a situation that started out well, but has deteriorated over time. I find it especially difficult trying to tell a friend that I need to stop doing what I am doing when I know if I stop, it will inconvenience her in many ways.

In short, I put my own life and desires on hold in order to help someone else out, all because I have this difficulty with saying the word NO. You would think a two-letter word would be simple to pronounce and use when needed, but apparently this is not true in my case.

This sad state of affairs caused me to miss out on summer last year. I have done a lot of thinking about this situation, and I have decided that this summer I will muster enough backbone to make some changes that will benefit me. I would really like to see the inside of my new greenhouse more than three times this summer. I want to have a garden. I’d love to put the new fourwheel drive self-propelled push lawnmower that we bought last fall to good use this season, as I do enjoy cutting grass. I want to help my husband cut, split, and stack wood for next winter. I plan to take my dog on long walks, sit and enjoy an adult beverage with the neighbors, and I expect to float the Madison this summer. I have a trip planned to visit my sister in the spring. I expect we will meet in the fall for our annual sister

trip, and the list of adventures and goals for myself continues to grow.

These desires and plans require that I change direction, spend less time working for others and more time working for me, and of course that entails that I, for the most part, say NO when people ask for long-term help or for favors that require enormous amounts of time and energy.

I have worked all my life. I have held multiple part time jobs since I retired, and although most of those part-time jobs are fun, in combination, they do add up in hours each day. I expect to continue working some of these jobs as they stimulate my brain, keep me interested, and give me a feeling of accomplishment. However, it is time to work less outside the home and work more at home for me, myself, and I. Sounds selfish in a way, but it truly is not.

I have reached the point where I need to look after myself more than I need to look after others.

Lois Stephens brings personal experience of the aging process to Prime Magazine.

She enjoys writing about her observations of becoming a member of the senior citizen age group. She lives and works in Virginia City.

PRIME April 2020 I 9

BARBERRY

By Jan Cashman

T

here are many reasons why barberries are one of the most popular deciduous shrubs--they are deer resistant, they do well in full, hot sun, and have thorns that keep animals and foot traffic away. They are dense, respond well to pruning, and are hardy. Barberries are dwarf shrubs that are perfect for small planting spaces.

I think the biggest reason they are so popular is their beautiful, brilliant leaf shades of red, burgundy, orange and gold that provide color contrast with shrubs and trees planted nearby. Their leaves turn more brilliant reds, oranges and yellows in the fall. This fall interest is enhanced by the bright red fruit called drupes staying on the plant even after leaves have fallen.

Colorful barberry make great companions

with spreading junipers, Russian sage, and ornamental grasses such as blue oat grass and blue fescue.

The following hardy (USDA Zone 4) barberry are of the genus and species Berberis thunbergii. They are all dwarf shrubs, but some are smaller than others.

New varieties have been bred lately that are narrow, upright growers—4 feet tall and less than 2 feet in width.

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operated Cashman Nursery in Bozeman with her husband, Jerry, since 1975.

6 GOOD BARBERRIES FOR SOUTHWEST MONTANA Leaf Color Fall Leaves Height and Width

Name

Crimson Pygmy

Dark red

Orange/red

2’x2’

Crimson Ruby

Burgundy

Yellow

2’x2’

Emerald Carousel

Green

Deep red

2’x2’

Golden Ruby

Red w/ gold margin

Red

2’x2’

Orange Rocket

Orange

Dark red

Rose Glow

Mottled red-rose

Red

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10 I April 2020 PRIME

bank savings accounts.

HOW MUCH WILL MARKET VOLATILITY REALLY AFFECT YOU?

T

depending on your age, you may not and the financial crisis of 2008-09. need to tap into them for 20, 30 or Nonetheless, you may have shortereven 40 years. If so, your losses may term goals – a wedding, down paybe “paper” ones only for now and in the financial markets recently. ment on a home, overseas trip, etc. aren’t subjecting you to imminent The effects of the coronavirus – for which you need to save. For financial jeopardy. This isn’t to mintriggered a market “correction” – a these goals, though, you wouldn’t imize the effect this downturn will decline of 10 percent or more – and want to touch your IRA or 401(k), more volatility is almost certainly on have on you, of course – it always anyway, as you’d likely face taxes and takes time to recover lost ground, the way. But instead of fretting over penalties. Instead, you’ll want your and there are no guarantees with your investment statements, you money invested in liquid, low-risk investing. However, although past could consider some more positive accounts that will be minimally performance does not guarantee fuapproaches to this situation. affected, if at all, by declines in the ture results, it is useful to note that, financial markets. These vehicles over its long history, the U.S. stock For one thing, ask yourself this: might include Certificates of When do you really need the money market has typically trended in one Deposit (CDs), money market acdirection – up – despite serious and from your investment accounts, counts and even good old-fashioned sometimes lengthy declines such as such as your IRA and your 401(k) or similar employer-sponsored plan? we saw in the Great Depression and, U.S. Savings Bonds, all of which to a lesser extent, the bursting of the offer the protection of principal and “dot.com” bubble of the early 2000s can pay higher rates than traditional These are retirement accounts, so, here’s no way to sugarcoat it: If you’re an investor, you haven’t liked what you’ve seen

But you might also have longerterm goals that can be addressed through investments that may be somewhat or largely free of the effects of market volatility. For example, to supplement your retirement income, you might consider a fixed annuity, which can provide you with a guaranteed interest rate and, depending on how it’s structured, an income stream you can’t outlive.

Apart from the issue of when you might need money from your investment accounts, you might want to ask yourself another question: Just how much of my net worth is tied up in my portfolio? If you’re like many people, you have other assets apart from your investments. If you’re a homeowner, consider your house: Has it dropped in value at all during the recent market decline?

Probably not. Do you still have just as much equity in it as you did a month ago? You might have even more. In other words, the value of your investments may have dropped a certain percentage, but the decline in your overall net worth may well be significantly smaller.

So, here’s the bottom line: Large drops in the financial markets aren’t much fun for investors – but that doesn’t mean the bottom has dropped out on your financial future.

Keeping things in perspective is a good move in all of life’s endeavors – including investing.

Nathan M. Kirby Edward Jones

Financial Advisor

PRIME April 2020 I 11

Bozeman Senior Center

• 807 North Tracy • (406) 586-2421 • www.bozemanseniorcenter.org Shannon Bondy, shannon@bozemanseniorcenter.org (Executive Director) Kristi Wetsch, kristi@bozemanseniorcenter.org (Director Program & Marketing)

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News Release

March 15, 2020 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Organization: Bozeman Senior Center

Bozeman Senior Center to Suspend Senior Center Congregate (Group) Meals Effective March 16, 2020, Bozeman Senior Center is closing all congregate (group) meal programs including Manhattan, Three Forks, and West Yellowstone as well as suspending all senior center activities, and closing the facility to the public. The Meals on Wheels programs will continue as usual.

We are taking this action out of an abundance of caution to protect senior citizens and others from the spread of Coronavirus (COVID-19).

In lieu of the center meals programs, we will offer meals to be picked up at the center and rural sites as well.

Contact: Shannon Bondy, Executive Director Phone: (406) 586-2421 Email: shannon@bozemanseniorcenter.org

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INTRODUCING THE DAILY CHRONICLE'S FIRST READER'S CHOICE AWARDS

We want to know who you think is the greatest in Gallatin County, in a wide variety of categories. Who’s the greatest coach? Greatest teacher? Greatest hairdresser or barber?

Greatest Realtor? What are our greatest restaurants? Where do you like to shop? What is the greatest new business? Who gives fantastic customer service? How about our greatest non-profit organization?

Sponsored by:

Presented by:

We want to know what you think, in a total of 65 categories. We’re looking at all of Gallatin County, so think Belgrade, Big Sky, Bozeman, Gallatin Gateway, Manhattan, Three Forks, West Yellowstone and Willow Creek.

Voting is done online, at

bozemandailychronicle.com/gallatinsgreatest Voting has been extended through April 1st. We’ll be publishing a tabloid style magazine with the results on Sunday, May 17, and winners will be honored at a banquet on Wednesday, May 18.

GET YOUR VOTE IN TODAY!