Her Voice Magazine - Fall-Winter 2023 by Brainerd Dispatch and Echo Journal

By Women. For Women. About Women.

A Brainerd Dispatch Publication

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FALL/WINTER 2023 + Fueled by grief

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CONTENTS + Fall/Winter 2023

My Voice

By DeLynn Howard, Editor

Her Health 5K a Day

Her Soul Soul Food

Char Donovan: Discovering her niche in recovery and poetry

By Michelle Oie

Her Wellness

Discover the stillness within through a Women’s Day of Healing 18 By Rebecca Flansburg

Her Community

Celebrating diversity in the lakes area 22 By Sheila Helmberger

Her Poetry A dog’s life

By Charmaine Donovan

Her Travels

Her Story

By Sheila DeChantal

Experiencing a new culture By Jan Kurtz Jan Kurtz traveled with her family to Spain. Come along on their adventure!

4 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

By Sue Ready Charmaine Pappas Donovan is a Brainerd poet and author whose long list of writing, poetry accomplishments and awards are quite notable. She’s also accomplished 50 years in recovery.

28 Her Heart

Fueled by grief

By Sheila DeChantal Sheila DeChantal knows all about grief. She’s lost her parents, her sister and her son. Sheila met with three lakes area women who are on similar journeys. “Fueled by Grief” is the first in a series.

Her Table

Cozy and comforting foods By Sue Ready Sue Ready has some recipes to tempt your taste buds and welcome you into the fall and winter season of cooking.

On the cover:

Standing in partial gear, Nisswa Fire Department members Kaitlyn Yutrzenka, left, and Lizzy (Thurlow) Haglin, are the first women on the department to complete trainings in Fire 1, Fire 2, Hazmat and Emergency Medical Response, certifying them as full-fledged firefighters and first responders. Photo by Joey Halvorson.

Her Passion

These girls are on fire

By Carolyn Corbett Lizzy Haglin (Thurlow) and Kaitlyn Yutrzenka are proud to be the only two females on the volunteer Nisswa Fire Department and proud to be carrying on family traditions.

Her Friendships

Committed to connection: A recipe for friendship success

By Chelsea Ornelas Making and maintaining friendships as an adult requires commitment and intentionality, but it is well worth the effort.

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HER VOICE By women. For women. About women. PUBLISHER

Pete Mohs ADVERTISING DIRECTOR

Susie Alters EDITOR

DeLynn Howard GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Mollie Burlingame PHOTOGRAPHER

Joey Halvorson

MY VOICE Vibrant pops of yellow, orange and red are showing up more and more in the trees across the Brainerd lakes area.

Fall.

BY DELYNN HOWARD

It’s my favorite time of year. Football, cooler temps, hoodies, comfort foods, upcoming holidays, time spent with family and friends. It just doesn’t get any better, in my opinion.

Next Issue of Her Voice: Spring Issue - Publishes Brainerd Dispatch and Echo Journal: February 2024 You can find Her Voice Magazine in over 100 Discover Rack locations in the area or read it online at:

www.BrainerdDispatch.com (Magazine Rack Tab) Advertising: (218) 855-5895 Advertising@BrainerdDispatch.com Comments/story ideas:

218-855-5850

delynn.howard@brainerddispatch.com Mail: ATTN: Her Voice Brainerd Dispatch, 506 James St., Brainerd, MN 56401

This issue of Her Voice has a little bit of something for everyone. Sue Ready has some great recipes to help ease us into the holiday season. Find Her Table on Page 38. And if you’re thinking of doing some traveling over the holidays to expand your cultural horizons, read about the family trip to Spain Jan Kurtz took. It’s on Page 34. Perhaps traveling isn’t in your budget, but getting together with friends for gourmet meals is. Chelsea Ornelas discusses the recipe for success when it comes to gathering with friends and sharing laughter, fellowship and food (Page 40). Speaking of food, did you know our souls need to be fed as well? Michelle Oie’s column, “Soul Food” breaks down what that means. For some, it might be a girls’ weekend, a spa day, or perhaps a more intensive retreat. We all deal with things differently and Michelle helps us to reflect on the things we need to feed our souls. Grief is something else that can be approached in a variety of ways. Sheila DeChantal interviews three women who have suffered incredible loss but have managed to turn those losses into helping others. Sheila also talks about her own grief journey with losing her son, Justin. “Fueled by Grief” is the first in a series. Look for it on Page 28. Lastly, I can’t forget to mention Her Voice magazine won Best Magazine in the Best of the Brainerd Lakes contest this year. What a privilege and an honor it is for me as editor knowing I had a small hand in helping us win. But the larger credit is due to the writers, our photographer, the designers, our advertisers, and most importantly, the incredible women in our community who continue to inspire others with their stories. By women. For women. About women. Without them, Her Voice wouldn’t exist.

5K A-Thanksgiving DAY to

HER HEALTH + exercise

New Year’s

PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON

BY SHEILA DECHANTAL Why? The holidays affect people in different ways. With the business of the season, regular workout routines can go to the wayside; some of us just talk away throughout the winter and our desire to move it, move it may have gone to the wayside. It is a fact that exercise, no matter the level, is mood-lifting, mind-clearing and reduces stress. What is it? 5K a Day is a free online event that takes place by posting how you are putting your time in on a private Facebook Page. Participants post daily or as often as they like a picture of what they are doing to put in a 5k a day (3.2 miles) between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. There are no rules on how to get it done – walking, biking, skiing, skating, dancing, rowing – as long as you are moving, it qualifies. By posting your picture of what you are doing – it inspires others to keep on moving as well. Let’s face it, it is not always easy to fit that time in to move a little more — this group motivates and celebrates together. Launched in November of 2020 to keep people connected and moving during COVID, 5K a Day has only grown from there. All ages have participated in all sorts of ways to get the steps/movement

in. There is no right or wrong way to do it… join alone, join as a couple, join with friends…

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Group meet-ups are occasionally offered and completely optional — it is a fun way to get through the holidays! Community sponsors have joined in the last couple of years offering weekly prizes in random drawings for those actively participating. This year’s top prize will be $100 cash given away on Jan. 1, 2024, randomly selected from all the daily entries. When? Registration is active now – sign up to participate at https://www. eventbrite.com/e/5k-a-day-2023-

You will be notified and sent an invite when the Facebook Page goes live in the third week of November. Sheila DeChantal is an event coordinator, freelance writer, lover of friends, family, community, creating fun local events, adventures, books and coffee. She is the Friends of The Brainerd Public Library president and the vice president of Camp Benedict. In her spare time, you will find her reading, writing, hanging out with friends, or enjoying time with her husband Al, and granddaughter, Kylie.

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FOR HER + uplifting

Soul Food BY MICHELLE OIE

When I’m there, I can swear… if I want to. I can speak filter-free and eat four (OK, six) cookies in a judgment-free zone. I have no chores, demands, agendas or schedules (wahoo!). I can do what I want when I want for as long as I want. It’s a much needed therapy session, relaxing spa day and fun game night all in one with people who listen, encourage and care about me. It’s permission to be me, and it’s validation that being me is enough. What is this great and mystical experience of which I speak? It’s my girls’ weekend.

8 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

I come home from a girls’ weekend feeling awesome. I tell my husband about the “chick flick” we watched, the mystery game we played and the treasures we found while out exploring. My mood is lighter than when I left, which of course makes him very happy. I believe the saying, “When Mama’s happy, everyone’s happy” is true! Girls’ weekend reminds me to see life through a more grateful lens. Girls’ weekend feeds my soul. Everyone around me benefits. What feeds your soul? When’s the last time you thought about it or made it a priority? The care of our body takes priority because if we don’t feed it, well, we die. Conversely, if we don’t feed our soul, we don’t die, not physically anyway, but we die inside. Have you ever felt “not right” inside? I mean, your body is healthy but there’s something lacking in your heart. This may mean your soul is hungry or maybe even slowly starving to death. Many times we don’t realize how bad things are getting and if we do, we don’t always know what’s causing it or how to fix it. So we just keep on keeping on hoping after some time we will “snap out of it.” What if that never happens? Usually it takes a major jolt in our life to wake us up to take action — like me.

“Have you ever felt ‘not right’ inside?

I mean, your body is healthy but there’s something lacking in your heart. This may mean your soul is hungry or maybe even slowly starving to death.”

Earlier this year I was feeling lonely, depressed and sad. Every day I dwelled on my negative thoughts. “I hate this. I need a way out but I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing I can do and no one to help me. I’m stuck. I’m totally trapped. Nothing is ever going to change. I don’t want to keep feeling this way.” I was losing hope. Since I didn’t know what to do, I did nothing for about three months. I didn’t take action until the jolt happened: my continuous dwelling on feeling “trapped” started causing anxious panic inside me. My heart raced as I felt hopeless and out of control. I was also becoming mentally and physically agitated. That was really weird. I couldn’t focus on anything for more than three seconds. But what really scared me one night was while watching TV, I was so agitated, I literally could not sit still… in my favorite comfy chair. I didn’t tell anyone anything because I didn’t even know what was going on. HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 9

As I was experiencing this negative spiral, I was also observing it with great interest. I was not my usual happy-go-lucky, calm and focused self. I decided this negativity and helplessness had to stop. I scheduled a silent weekend retreat in Buffalo, Minnesota, packed my bag and left. My heart was filled with desperate anticipation like a sick person waiting to see the doctor. I was sure this retreat would bring relief. As in the past, the retreat would afford me solitude. I could read, listen to speakers or partake in the planned activities. Friday night I felt so lonely I called home like a homesick child. Not like me. Saturday morning as I sat still trying to read in perfect silence, my internal self was 100% agitated. My leg bounced and I couldn’t finish a single thought. This was alarming. Again, not like me at all. As the weekend progressed I talked to directors, sat on benches overlooking the lake, participated in planned activities and read the Word. By Sunday afternoon, the end of the retreat, I felt more calm and confident that my old self was slowly returning. Getting home I vowed not to let myself get that bad again. By dwelling on my negative thoughts, my soul was getting “sick.” Even though I didn’t know what was causing it or why, I noticed it and decided not to put up with it. I took action to do something that always brings me peace, something that feeds my soul. I went on a retreat by myself. I fed my starving soul. And it was healed. (Why didn’t I go on a girls’ weekend? I’m not sure it could have busted through the heavy negative grip on my heart. Plus, we didn’t have one planned). Many of us walk around with hungry souls. When we can’t figure out why we feel “off,” we try to feed our physical self with food, shopping or other gratifications. When we realize that no amount of tending to our physical needs fills the hole in our heart, we either give up and hope it goes away or we dive deeper into what it is we need. If we dive deeper, our search will reveal that it’s our soul, our heart, our inner self that needs attention. So that leads back to my question… What feeds your soul?

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Do you need time by yourself in the solitude of nature to think, read or just be? If silence scares you, why? Do you need time with great friends in a judgment-free zone? Do you need to grab your kayak and get out on a still lake on an early fall morning? Is there a motivational book or a fictional story you’ve been wanting to dive into uninterrupted?

“Having all three of these:

peace, hope and discovering what feeds your soul, puts the fire back in our eyes.“

Do you enjoy reading scripture or worshiping with others? Biking or running by yourself might be what your soul needs to reset. Maybe driving while screaming the words to your favorite song playing at 200 decibels is what makes you smile. We all need opportunities to unwind, decompress and relax with no pressure, no judgment and no obligations if only for 10 minutes. It is a necessary part of life. Why is it so important to take time to be quiet and feed your soul? Doing so brings peace and peace brings hope. Focus on your soul; it holds the secret to who you are. How? When you find those things that feed it, it’s your map. This map helps you see clearly who you are, where you are and where you might want to go. Having all three of these: peace, hope and discovering what feeds your soul, puts the fire back in our eyes. We are reminded life is worth living and the possibilities ahead of us are endless and very much possible. You are more than a mom, a wife, a sister or employee. You are more than the sum of your parts. You are more than your mistakes and successes. No one can define you. You are not finite. You are always learning and exploring. Every day is a new day that has never, ever occurred before. You have never before lived this day. Make your soul health a priority. Figure out what it needs and feed it — often. The person in the mirror will definitely thank you.

Michelle Oie is a Finding Purpose coach, inspirational speaker, writer and soonto-be author. Her passion is helping people find their unique life purpose. She loves Jeep Wranglers, peanut butter and hitting all green lights driving through Brainerd. Take The Happiness Quiz and learn more at www.michelleoie.com.

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HER STORY + recovery

Discovering

HER NICHE IN RECOVERY AND POETRY BY SUE READY | PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON Charmaine Pappas Donovan is a Brainerd poet and author whose long list of writing, poetry accomplishments and awards are quite notable. Her poetry has been published in a variety of

12 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

publications. She has three books to her credit, two of which are anthologies for which she helped secure grants to produce. She was the manager and contributor in both “20 Poets Celebrate the Lake

Country” that showcases poetry of central Minnesota poets and was produced with the help of a Five Wing Arts grant and “County Lines,” which was published in celebration of Minnesota’s

sesquicentennial. Angela Foster, co-editor with Donovan on the anthology “County Lines,” notes “Charmaine’s specificity of detail brings images to life on the page.” Donovan’s third book, “Tumble Dry,” is a collection of her own poetry. In 2013, she received the Northeastern Minnesota Book Award for Poetry for this book. Donovan is the past president of the League of Minnesota Poets (2004-2010), a Minnesota poetry chapter organization founded in 1990. This organization has a strong poetic voice for the state that continues to grow and expand its vision. In April 2023 Donovan was elected by the League of MN Poets (LOMP) as the statewide Poet Laureate of LOMP for a two-year term. When League President Amanda Bailey announced Donovan’s appointment, she was recognized for her high quality published poetry, her fostering community appreciation of poetry through readings and workshop presentations and her service as ambassador of the poetic art form throughout the state of Minnesota. This past August, the Poetry Walk at Green Island in Wadena, Minnesota, opened with poems recently included in Minnesota Voices 2023, an annual program of the Wadena County Historical Society. Donovan was among the six featured poets. Author Candace Simar commented on her gift of words. “Charmaine sees the world through a poet’s eyes and has the unique ability to translate perceptions to words on the page.”

Charmaine Donovan has three books to her credit: “20 Poets Celebrate the Lake Country,” “County Lines,” and “Tumble Dry.” Some poets who have inspired and impacted Char’s writing include Theodore Roethke, as his imagery, while farfetched, is also embracing. She also loves confessional poets Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton.

HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 13

But Donovan’s adolescent life presented multiple challenges for her as she started drinking at age 15, and by 20 realized she needed treatment for chemical dependency. Her progression was rapid and with the realization if drinking was not treated she would ultimately die. At that time she was working as a psychiatric technician at Brainerd State Hospital. She took a leave of absence, realizing a new, different and positive path was needed. Several people were instrumental in helping Donovan turn her life around. One was one of her drinking buddies, who had successfully completed a treatment program, and two different counselors who invested their time helping her learn to make more positive choices and pursue a more stable environment which ultimately would help her grow as a healthy person.

This past August, the Poetry Walk at Green Island in Wadena, Minnesota, opened with poems recently included in Minnesota Voices 2023, an annual program of the Wadena County Historical Society. Donovan was among the six featured poets. Contributed

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14 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

At age 20, Donovan returned to college to get a degree. Since she’s always been a people person and having been in the mental health field previously, it felt like a natural progression to become a chemical dependency counselor. Her previous treatment experience, volunteering in after care and completion of a group leadership training program at Pharm House gave her a good foundation.

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“It has been a gratifying and fulfilling job working as a CD counselor. It has taught me that people can change and many do if they have the capacity to be honest.“ - Charmaine Donovan

Since retirement, Char has enjoyed traveling around the state on her motorcycle. Donovan was 23 when she began working full time as a mental health counselor. Being a lifelong learner, she enjoyed developing an evening inpatient program while working at the Brainerd State Hospital. While working in schools she was able to implement programs for students from substance abuse families. Utilizing her knowledge about addiction and its harm to self, she wrote handouts and gave lectures spelling out the perils of addictive behavior. Over the span of a 40-year career in mental health she has learned much. “It has been a gratifying and fulfilling job working as a CD counselor. It has taught me that people can change and many do if they have the capacity to be honest. I am grateful to those who came before me, understood my condition and cared about me when I needed help. That help was a precious gift to me. And one I can never repay except by going forward as a beacon of sobriety so others can follow the path.” HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 15

She has used AA as an important resource to help maintain her sobriety. In September 2023, a sober friend from the Pharm House days awarded Donovan a 50-year medallion at a speaker’s meeting. “It is a milestone I never dreamed of — one step at a time, one day at a time, through the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous,” commented Donovan. Since retirement, when not out exploring the state on her motorcycle, she has devoted a lot of her time to her poetry and writing. She works primarily as a free verse poet. “I like extended metaphors in poems and have been successful in contests with this type of free verse poem,” Donovan said.

Char celebrated 50 years of recovery with a friend who celebrated 40 years. Contributed.

Some poets who have inspired and impacted her writing include Theodore Roethke, as his imagery, while farfetched, is also embracing. She also loves confessional poets Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. They spilled their inner lives so shamelessly.

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“ It’s always good to have a variety of perspectives. We learn from one another.“ - Charmaine Donovan

Local poets Michael Dennis Browne and Patrica Hampl were great mentors and wonderful instructors for her. Her mother was influential in her growing up years. The family owned “The Books of Knowledge” and her mother would read all the poems and children’s stories from those books. “I had a good grasp of literature from the time she read to us.” Donovan hopes more local poets will join the camaraderie of Heartland

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Poets, LOMP area’s poetry chapter. “It’s always good to have a variety of perspectives. We learn from one another. Becoming a part of the greater state organizations is a wonderful way to open avenues for writing possibilities and meet likeminded writers. Having a ‘tribe’ that you consider yourself to be a part of is a great way to stay interested and excited about your craft,” Donovan said.

Sue Ready is a freelance writer, poet, food writer, book reviewer and former middle school teacher. She is a member of the Northwoods Arts Council in Hackensack and one of the chairs for the Annual August Northwoods Art and Book Festival. Sue blogs at http://sockfairies.blogspot.com with recipes, up north living and travel adventures. Her book reviews are posted on Facebook under EverReady Book Reviews and on her blog.

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HER WELLNESS + healing

Discover

the stillness within THROUGH A WOMEN’S DAY OF HEALING

BY REBECCA FLANSBURG | PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON

18 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

“We both realized that we had similar passions for helping others heal. We felt we could reach more people if we collaborated by combining our approaches through classes and retreats.” - Darcy Walkowiak

Whether you are a single woman, a mom in the throes of raising kids, an empty nester, or a widow, you may have moments of reflection and thinking, “Is this all there is for me?” or “What now?” Feeling stuck and unclear about your future knows no age limit. Life can be glorious and joyful, but it also can be frustrating and debilitating. Two Brainerd lakes area business owners know these moments firsthand and are working to help women understand they are not alone during all of the transitional phases of life. Whether you are a single woman, a mom in the throes of raising kids, an empty nester, or a widow, you may have moments of reflection and thinking, “Is this all there is for me?” or “What now?” Feeling stuck and unclear about your future knows no age limit. Life can

Bryn Lowrie Yahn, left, and Darcy Walkowiak, are offering a one-day retreat in November at Cragun’s.

be glorious and joyful, but it also can be frustrating and debilitating. Two Brainerd lakes area business owners know these moments firsthand and are working to help women understand they are not alone during all of the transitional phases of life.

practitioners will offer a one-day retreat to help women find clarity on what they want from life, release what is no longer serving them, and peel away the layers of hurt and anger to move forward with more joy.

For 26 years, Darcy Walkowiak has been called to serve others as a Holistic Health Practitioner. Her business, StillPoint, helps clients from all walks of life to foster a positive and healthy lifestyle through body, mind and spirit.

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The pair connected in the spring of 2022, and during their meeting, Darcy, who is an embodiment coach/spiritual director, shared an idea that had been persistently demanding her attention. “We both realized that we had similar passions for helping others heal. We felt we could reach more people if we collaborated by combining our approaches through classes and retreats,” she said. In the following months, Darcy and Bryn successfully created and facilitated several workshops and offerings on mind-body and energy healing. As they worked together on offering small group classes and seminars, they became very aware of the need to create a place for women to feel heard, seen and supported as they worked through life’s challenges.

to offer a soul-strengthening day filled with a unique blend of healing modalities, including meditation, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)

smaller circles to use the modalities they are learning about to help release emotional and energetic blockages,” Darcy shared. “There will also be a session on how our bodies speak to us through the language of pain. Special guest Tammy Hulke will also be present to lead a sound healing experience.”

“One of our many goals with this retreat is to provide women with the tools to release what is no longer serving them and leave with a solid plan for implementing positive change.”

“So many of us had a wakeup call during the pandemic,” Bryn shared. “During that time of isolation, women longed to connect with others but also recognized a need to connect more deeply with themselves. To facilitate positive change, we need to take the time to stop and honor that quiet voice guiding us in our lives. Our Women’s Day of Healing at Cragun’s Resort on Nov. 4 will offer a safe and nurturing space where women can unite to heal within a community.” The Women’s Day of Healing aims

- Bryn Lowrie Yahn

also known as “tapping” and sound healing. These sessions will create new positive mental health practices to help attendees navigate life’s challenges. The day will begin with a meditation and journal reﬂections session to help attendees identify what they would like to release and what they would like to bring into their lives. “As the day progresses, our group will split into

The day concludes with a closing campﬁre ceremony of letting go and welcoming in, but it doesn’t end there. “Bryn and I are also very aware that once our attendees leave, the real work begins,” Darcy added. “We both know how hard it can be to maintain momentum when creating change while working through important and necessary mind, body, and spirit shifts. With this in mind, we will have ongoing support options to help them stay on track and flourish.”

“One of our many goals with this retreat is to provide women with the tools to release what is no longer serving them and leave with a solid plan for implementing positive change,” Bryn added. “Moving forward, we plan to continue collaborating and offer more workshops, classes, and retreat opportunities for lakes area residents. We are excited and honored to be able to teach others to use their innate wisdom of the body to shift and change their lives for the highest good of all.”

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At their upcoming retreat, Darcy Walkowiak, left, and Bryn Lowrie Yahn, hope they are able to help women release what is no longer serving them and give them the tools to implement a plan for positive change.

CONNECT WITH DARCY AND BRYN Rebecca “Becky” Flansburg is an author, freelance writer and blogger from Minnesota who writes about parenthood topics and being a mompreneur. Her two nonfiction books on working from home, FREElance FREEdom: Creating the WorkFrom-Home Life You Crave and Mom Bossing: The Freedom to Create the Business You Love, are available in both physical and e-book form. Her childrens’ book she co-authored with fellow BHS grad, B.A. Norrgard, Sissy Goes Tiny, was released July 2019. Becky is mom to two humans and critter mom to way too many pets. She is also a proud member of the Lakes Area Writers Alliance. Readers can also find her at BeckyFlansburg.com or on Instagram.

For individual sessions and to learn about upcoming classes, visit them at brynlowrie.com and stillnessfromwithin.com.

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Celebrating

HER COMMUNITY + diversity

diversity in the lakes area ‘It’s my opinion that people are good.’ BY SHEILA HELMBERGER Natasha Ellestad has heard the stories. She hears them but she wants to share her own personal experience. She is a successful business owner, a mother of three, a new resident of the lakes area, and a wife in an interracial marriage. “All you hear in the news is negativity,” she says. “I am in an interracial marriage. My children are interracial. Since relocating to the Brainerd lakes area this past year, I have experienced a warm welcome and as a Black woman, I have built my company from the ground up.” Natasha and her husband, Conrad, have been together for 15 years, meeting when they were neighbors in St. Louis Park. Last year the couple made the decision to relocate from the Twin Cities to the Crosslake area. He is an only child, and they liked the idea of being closer to his parents. She says there was no hesitation about making the move to the less diverse lakes area. When they visited her inlaws, they always enjoyed their time here. “I never felt different. I have always felt people were warm.”

Contributed.

22 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

Natasha’s own parents came to the U.S. from Liberia, a small country in west Africa. Her father came here when he was 18 years old on a soccer scholarship. Later he sent for his wife and two older daughters. Natasha and her brother were born in America.

“With my own children, I’ve always stressed to them, the importance of judging people based on the content of their character, and not the color of their skin.” - Natasha Ellestad

She has a master’s degree in psychotherapy and started her career as a therapist. Following a tragic event involving one of her clients, Natasha decided to look for something else. Conrad is a mortgage banker and a real estate investor, and he suggested she consider real estate. It turned out to be a good fit and her first year in the business she was named Rookie of the Year. She was on a hiatus, after having the couple’s third child when Conrad asked her to go with him to tour a property he and a partner had purchased in Dallas, Texas. When they were there, the property manager was not personable. “I told them there was no way they should pay him money for that type of service,” she says, “and I offered to manage the property for them.” When they acquired another property in Conroe, Texas, they agreed she should manage that one as well and Peak Property Management was born. She currently manages 400 residential rental properties in Texas, Florida and Minnesota. Natasha is the director of operations for the company and has a team of nine others. “My staff is great. They are a diverse group as well, from my maintenance techs to property managers and vendors.” She says one time she, herself, was accused of being a racist by a resident. “I never lead with my race or say, ‘Hey, I’m Black, too,’ so there is no way they would have known. But it should not be a factor.” Her parents come to visit the family in

Contributed. their new home often. “They love this area. Our neighbors are all welcoming. It is not just an interracial relationship, it is intercultural. People are mostly curious and want to learn more about the country they come from. I feel like we spend even more time with family living here than we did before. The lake setting in this area makes people happy. There are so many things to do here. There are other people living here with diverse backgrounds. It is just a really cool place.” This past summer the couple purchased Judy’s House of Gifts in Crosslake with two other partners. “This community has been so great to us,” she says. “We want to create something to give back.” The partners have established a small event venue that will be available for rent to host training sessions, anniversary parties, corporate events and holiday parties. Natasha and Conrad have three children, 15-year-old son Keenan, 5-year-old daughter Kalahni, and

3-year-old daughter Kyli. “With my own children, I’ve always stressed to them, the importance of judging people based on the content of their character,” she says, “and not the color of their skin.” She thinks it is important to talk about her own experience because the racial tension in our country is so high right now. “Of course, there are ugly people in the world. We know that. I just want to share some positivity,” she says, “Even if it only touches one person. Honestly, it is my opinion that people are good. Even if they have values or opinions that differ from yours, it doesn’t mean anything. It does not make them bad. I want to share that message. People respect you if you respect them.” Sheila Helmberger lives in the Brainerd area and is a frequent contributor to Her Voice.

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HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 23

HER PASSION + inspiring

THESE GIRLS ARE

ON FiRE!

BY CAROLYN CORBETT | PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON Lizzy Haglin (most people know her as Lizzy Thurlow) and Kaitlyn Yutrzenka can walk into the Nisswa Fire Station in street clothes and have complete firefighting gear on — coats, pants, boots, full air pack, everything — in a minute to 90 seconds. The pair are the first women on the Nisswa department to complete trainings in Fire 1, Fire 2, Hazmat and Emergency Medical Response, certifying them 24 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

as full-fledged firefighters and first responders.

they’re ready to do whatever is necessary.

The training is extensive and ongoing. They’ve been trained in live burn situations to see fire behavior, Hazmat scenarios to handle gas leaks, extrication training for car accidents, preparing patients and scenes for incoming helicopter transport. They’ve been hands on with all this, so in a real life situation

Nisswa is a volunteer department. When pagers go off, those of the 27 firefighters who are available to go, do. Lizzy and Kaitlyn both work full-time jobs, so they aren’t able to go on every call throughout the day. However, in the middle of the night or on Christmas or whatever, if there’s a fire or medical, they’re on it.

Lizzy and Kaitlyn are proud to be part of this dedicated team. There’s a clear expectation set for the firefighters to keep themselves safe. If the chief thinks it’s unsafe for his crew to enter and get out safely, they don’t go in. If the chief thinks it’s safe to go in when they arrive and things start to change, he gets them out. If his firefighters can’t be heard on the radio, an air horn on the truck is blasted. The three blasts signal “Mayday” to those inside the building to evacuate immediately because the structure may collapse or is no longer safe. Eighty-five percent of calls are medical emergencies. “You’re going into people’s homes and meeting them on maybe the worst day of their life,” says Lizzy. Maybe they woke up and their loved one isn’t breathing anymore. Maybe someone is choking or having a heart attack or an asthma attack. “You always need to treat it like it’s your family,” Lizzy said.

Dressed in full gear, Kaitlyn Yutrzenka, left, assists Lizzy (Thurlow) Haglin with her oxygen tank.

When Lizzy and Kaitlyn are working with a patient, they are aware that family and friends there need attention too. Whether it’s a police officer or another first responder, it’s important someone is there offering comfort, talking them through what’s happening, sitting in silence, letting them know they’re not alone. Lizzy says as women, they definitely bring in a new light. There are calls, especially medical calls, where there’s trauma or people in various stages of undress or the emergency happens in the bathroom. Sometimes patients only want women. The guys are perfect; they say, “Oh, here’s Kaitlyn. Here’s Lizzy.” “Firefighting is very much a maledominated field,” says Lizzy. “I don’t think the guys anticipated being able to continue on as they did once we joined the department.” There was a level of banter between guys who’d been on for a number of years. Boys will be boys, the women say. When Lizzy and Kaitlyn threw in jokes and quirky things, the guys were a bit surprised. The guys would say, “Wow, OK. You two actually hang out with us and get along fine with random jokes or whatever.”

Kaitlyn Yutrzenka, left, follows Lizzy (Thurlow) Haglin, as they demonstrate firefighting techniques wearing full gear.

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“DURING THE MEETINGS, I WOULD BE PLAYING IN THE TRUCKS, SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT PRETENDING TO DRIVE. THAT WAS MY HAPPINESS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. NOW IT’S A PASSION OF MINE.”

Kaitlyn Yutrzenka grins as she adjusts her hat.

- Kaitlyn Yutrzenka

“The camaraderie is a really cool thing,” says Kaitlyn. Lizzy’s dad, Scott Mike Thurlow, was on the Nisswa Fire Department for 32 years. He passed away in his sleep when she was 9 years old. There are firefighters still on the department today who showed up on that call and performed CPR on her dad. “Dad was the drive in my life. He and my mom, who is a nurse, prioritized volunteering for the community since we kids were little.” Lizzy remembers pulling a wagon along the road picking up pop cans with her dad because that was one way he gave to the community. Being on the fire department was another. Lizzy would come with him on meeting nights. “During the meetings, I would be playing in the trucks, sitting in the front seat pretending to drive. That was my happiness when I was younger. Now it’s a passion of mine.” Lizzy was drawn to the medical field from a young age. Firefighting, EMR and her work as a registered nurse in Baxter and Crosby, provide her the opportunity to continue giving back to 26 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

Lizza (Thurlow) Haglin gears up in her protective equipment. the community and carrying on her father’s legacy. “There are individuals on the department who served side-byside with my dad,” says Lizzy, “and now I’m serving with them.” Richard Geike is one. Richard showed up on her dad’s call when he passed away. “When we go out on calls together, he’ll be driving, and he’ll say, ‘This one time, your dad and I ….’ That warms my heart. Gives me goosebumps at times,” she says. Lizzy and Kaitlyn have much in common. Kaitlyn also has memories of the fire department of

her childhood. Kaitlyn’s grandpa, Reno Wells, was a captain on the Hackensack Fire Department. “I would get up on the trucks, sit in the front seat and it was so cool! I loved seeing pictures of my grandpa in his turn-out gear,” said Kaitlyn. When she was older an ambulance was called for her dad and he was transported. Her mom was in a headon car accident and was transported. Kaitlyn had a situation of her own pop up one day and first responders came. She wanted to help people, as others helped her family. Being on the fire department is a way to do that, a way to give back.

Kaitlyn’s grandpa is so proud of her. She’s the only grandkid who wanted to get into firefighting. Her grandpa loves to see pictures of Kaitlyn in her gear and says, “That’s my granddaughter and she’s doing a good thing.” Every time she goes to see him, he asks what she’s been up to. “You’re making sure you’re safe, right, Granddaughter?” During Fire Safety week in October, the Nisswa Elementary School sounds off its fire alarms. Lizzy and Kaitlyn show up in full gear with lights and sirens on the truck. In the gym, the kids are told everyone needs to pretend there’s a fire. “We need you to scream as loud as you can so we can come and find you.” They scream like crazy. Lizzy and Kaitlyn come in with all their gear on. Some kids think they sound like Darth Vader because they’re breathing from air packs. That can be scary. During an actual house fire, kids hide under beds or in closets. They sure aren’t coming out for Darth Vader. This is an opportunity to show that though firefighters can look kind of weird with their big hats, gear and air packs on their backs, they are there to help. The women turn off their air packs and take off their gear one piece at a time so the kids can see who they are. One of her first years on the department, Lizzy had an experience at the school she’ll never forget. She was taking off her gear and her hair was pulled back into a pony. “When I pulled off my jacket, my hair came tumbling out. The girls in the front went, ‘It’s a girl firefighter!’” And Lizzy said, “Yup.” Carolyn Corbett wrote her first magazine stories during the five years she spent sailing the Bahamas. Back ashore, she continued freelancing and has over 250 articles published in various regional and national magazines. Carolyn was the professional English and writing tutor at CLC for 3 1/2 years. She loves cats, laughter, lattes and playing with words.

Kaitlyn Yutrzenka, left, high fives Lizza (Thurlow) Haglin, in front of one of Nisswa’s fire trucks.

“WHEN I PULLED OFF MY JACKET, MY HAIR CAME TUMBLING OUT. THE GIRLS IN THE FRONT WENT, ‘IT’S A GIRL FIREFIGHTER!’” AND LIZZY SAID, “YUP.”

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HER HEART

+ moving forward

Fueled

Sheila Dechantal, left, Carol Johnson, Bobbie Gorron and Carolyn White, are fueled by a common bond — grief. The women are holding photos of their deceased loved ones.

BY GRIEF

PART 1 OF A SERIES BY SHEILA DECHANTAL | PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON In 2015, Carolyn White came to the final day with her 18-year-old daughter, Jaimie. After a hard battle that started in 2012 as acute lymphoblastic leukemia that went into remission in 2014, the cancer returned in 2015 as acute myeloid leukemia, and after three excruciating months, Jaimie lost this battle. Within weeks of Jaimie’s passing, Carolyn set forth on a mission 28 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

to help others. She wanted to establish a nonprofit organization that assisted families affected by pediatric cancer. In 2016, Jaimie’s Purse was launched. In January of 2019, Bobbie Gorron received the call no mother ever wants to receive. Her 22-year-old son Corey had been involved in a skiing avalanche in New Mexico. Bobbie, as well as other family members, quickly traveled to be

by his side as the doctors tried to save him. Four days later, Corey succumbed to his injuries. Corey, a 2015 graduate from Brainerd, had a love for the outdoors. While still in New Mexico, the idea of how to help others was already starting to develop for Bobbie. The Corey Borg-Massanari Foundation was created to provide outdoor safety gear/training for schools, nonprofits and ski resorts.

Four different women with huge losses and a desire to help others while not moving on from grief…

but moving forward with it.

Carol Johnson has had a life filled with bright moments and not-sobright moments. The youngest of three, at the age of 13, she lost both of her older brothers in an accident that if not for a change of plans, she would have been involved in as well. In 2008, she lost her first husband and her cousin when they were involved in a small plane crash while fishing in Alaska. With two teenage children, her son Luke struggled deeply with the loss of his father and turned to drug use to cover the immense pain. He had been in treatment a number of times and was finally turning things around at the age of 23 when a car accident on a slippery road in December of 2013 took his life. In addition to her faith, Carol found a way to deal with her grief and incredible loss by attending the

Center for Loss & Life Transition in Colorado under the teachings of Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Alan is a leading death educator and grief counselor for North America and has written a number of books. After attending five sessions, Carol herself became certified in Grief Studies. As a longtime volunteer of Camp Journey, a local loss and grief camp for children and teens geared toward coping after the loss of a loved one, as well as a group leader at MN Adult & Teen Challenge to share her story, Carol finds that through her loss, she can help others. My life tracks close to Carol’s. At the age of 13, I lost my father and 5-year-old sister in a house fire. My mother and I were able to escape the burning home. Sixteen years later, my mother and stepfather were killed in a head-on collision

in Jenkins. As the only remaining member of my immediate family, I was very protective of her two sons. In 2015, my youngest son Justin was killed in a car crash in St. Paul on his way home from work. He was 24 years old. Having always had a heart for community and nonprofits, I found I was able to put energy and focus into helping others. Justin was so proud of my dedication to the local library and the programs I helped to create, that this became a drive to continue to educate the community on the value of books and offering ways to reach others through reading. Four different women with huge losses and a desire to help others while not moving on from grief… but moving forward with it.

HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 29

CAROLYN WHITE What changed the day you lost Jaimie? Carolyn: I had an overwhelming sense of “what now?” My life had been so focused on her and her cancer. When did you begin to breathe again? Carolyn: About a year later. Tossing around the idea of Jaimie’s Purse and how to put that into motion. When did your vision for wanting to help others begin? Carolyn: Right away. I knew what a difference a $500 gas card would have made for us when we were traveling back and forth for Jaimie’s treatments. I would have been over the moon! Jaimie’s Purse was created to do just that — provide gift card support for fuel, food and the basics families need when something like this is happening. How did it motivate you? Carolyn: Jaimie’s Purse kept me busy. Knowing what I was doing was taking pressure off some of these families really felt like the right direction. How does what you are doing help you with your grief? Carolyn: Through Jaimie’s Purse, we are making a difference. We gave a $1,000 gift card to a lady going through these circumstances. She just cried. That is what makes the difference. What advice would you give to someone else going through something similar? Carolyn: Don’t be afraid to feel your emotions. If you are talking with someone and you have tears, have tears. Don’t be afraid to mention the person’s name who passed on. They are still very real to us. We want to hear their name. Even years later.

30 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

BOBBIE GORRON What changed the day you lost Corey? Bobbie: Everything. Life split into three sections. There was the before (prior to January 16), the during, when we still had hope (Jan. 17- 20), and after Jan. 21. When did you begin to breathe again? Bobbie: Sometimes, I’m still trying to figure that out. Some days I feel like I am going to be OK. Some days, I am not so sure.

CAROL JOHNSON What changed the day you lost Luke? Carol: The wind was knocked out of me again. I missed the interaction. When did you begin to breathe again? Carol: I already had tools in my toolbox from having attended the grief counseling. Luke would have wanted me to move forward; I knew this. When did your vision for wanting to help others begin? Carol: About five years after Luke died, I felt a strong need to help others. I felt called to help in the areas of addiction and loss. How did it motivate you? Carol: It was very therapeutic to speak to groups about what I had gone through. At Teen Challenge I talk a lot about Luke and what it is like to be a mom of a child of addiction. When did your vision for wanting to help others begin? Bobbie: We were already thinking of how we could help others not go through this while still in New Mexico. We did not want Corey’s name to be forgotten. Over time it became not so much his name being forgotten, I still needed to be his mom. How did it motivate you? Bobbie: If we could prevent even one family from going through what we went through we had to make the effort. Corey loved the outdoors so we focused on outdoor safety. Putting this together was very motivating.

Bobbie: People feel they need to say something and sometimes trying to come up with saying something is not helpful. Just be there. No words are needed. Squeeze a hand. Offer a hug. That gets the message across well.

How does what you are doing help you with your grief? Carol: It’s so therapeutic to share my grief journey with others. What advice would you give to someone else going through something similar? There is hope. You can go through a mess of darkness and still see glimmers of light. The more you walk through the darkness, the more glimmers of light you will find. Don’t be afraid.

How does what you are doing help you with your grief? Bobbie: It keeps me active. It gets me out of the house and I have the opportunity to talk about Corey. What advice would you give to someone else going through something similar?

HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 31

SHEILA DECHANTAL What changed the day I lost Justin? Everything. The ground beneath me was gone. When did I begin to breathe again? I believe it was about a year… maybe a little more. I never stopped functioning… but really breathing? That took a lot longer. When did my vision for wanting to help others begin? Working with nonprofits was always my thing. By finding ways even in those early days that I could be there for someone else or work on a project — even a small one. It took me out of my own head and that was a good thing. How did it motivate me? Justin was always my biggest cheerleader. When we moved one of the Friends of the Brainerd Public

32 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

Library fundraisers to Grand View to allow for more people to attend I was so nervous about that move. Justin would say, “Mom! You landed Grand View!” He never lived to see that event at Grand View, but I still hear his voice clearly any time I am doubting myself. How does what I’m doing help me with my grief? It helps me every day. I know I am not good idle. I need to be busy and I love having a project to focus on and tinker with in my back pocket that I can pull out when needed. I feel good when I am doing good in our community. What advice would I give to someone else going through something similar? I don’t believe that there are stages of grief. Well, at least not set stages. No diagram of how you are going to feel and how long you are going to feel it applies. Every person’s journey is their own. So much goes into that — your

own past, your relationship with the person you lost, your circumstances… Be kind and gentle with yourself. And for those wanting to help? Just a kind gesture. Knowing you are thought of and supported is game-changing. For myself and my family – it was the bridge that brought us across the great divide of loss.

I feel good when I am doing good in our community. - Sheila DeChantal

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

I hope I did an honor to these moms and their beloved children. It was a privilege and an honor to hear their stories, their heartbreak and their incredible dedication to helping others. Part two in this grief series will be coming in February 2024. - Sheila.

Sheila DeChantal is an event coordinator, freelance writer, lover of friends, family, community, creating fun local events, adventures, books and coffee. She is the Friends of The Brainerd Public Library president and the vice president of Camp Benedict. In her spare time, you will find her reading, writing, hanging out with friends, or enjoying time with her husband Al, and granddaughter, Kylie.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Jaimie’s Purse: https://jaimiespurse.org/

Corey Borg-Massanari Foundation: https://www.coreysfoundation.org/ Center For Loss and Life Transitions: https://www.centerforloss.com/ Smile Again Ministries (for mourning the loss of a child) Crosslake: https://www.smileagainministries.org/ Camp Journey: https://campconfidence.com/camp-journey/

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HER TRAVELS + culture

Greg, Ella, James and Cindy at the Patio de los Leones in the Alhambra at Granada.

Experiencing

A NEW CULTURE

STORY AND PHOTOS BY JAN KURTZ A week after 9-year-old James stood on the Spanish sand where ancient gladiators once clashed in Italica’s Roman amphitheater, he called me. “Nana, we’re studying ancient Greece,” he reported, “and I told the teacher I’ve visited a Roman ruin!” What, I wondered, would he and his 13-year-old sister, Ella, glean from our trip to Spain? In 1986, I took my son, Greg, to Spain at the age of 8. We lived with Maribel in her apartment/piso while I attended a month-long course. This year, we shared our love of Spain’s culture and language by returning with his wife, Cindy, and the two kids. We piled out of the Madrid taxi, falling into our new world order — Greg first, 34 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

family second and me last — pulling our suitcases over the cobblestones on Calle de las Huertas, stopping at No. 65. Manolo buzzed us in. We hoisted our luggage up three flights of the 100-plus-year-old wooden staircase before entering our piso, choosing our bedrooms and rushing to open the shutters hiding our balconies. Manolo pointed out the hole-in-the-wall grocery across the street, provided a page of eatery suggestions and handed over the ancient key. Ella stepped onto the balcony where below, pedestrians flowed down toward the Prado Museum with its Goya, Velazquez and El Greco masterpieces and uphill along the poetry etched walkway to the Plaza Mayor. There, an oversized Mickey

Mouse would later zero in on the kids, offering balloon swords with one hand while holding the other out for tips. Please, no! Not Disney! The Plaza Mayor is not a theme park, despite the mimes, artists and a beer-bellied Spiderman. During the Inquisition, gruesome executions took place here. I taught this history for years, but how much do I tell the kids? I debated my options as we walked to the corner where, according to legend, Luis Candelas, a Robin Hood-type, used to stash his loot. Before reaching the photo op, the kids rushed toward a new store at the top of the steps – A Madrid Duck Store! Horrors! They were wise enough to save their 20 euros for more appropriate souvenirs.

There, an oversized mickey Mouse would later zero in on the kids, offering balloon swords with one hand while holding the other out for tips. Please, no! Not Disney! -Jan Kurtz

Left: At the Plaza Mayor, an oversized Mickey Mouse zeroed in on the kids, offering balloon swords with one hand while holding the other out for tips. Middle: A royal dining room set for 118 guests. Right: Ella looking out on Calle de las Huertas (route to La Plaza Mayor). Also wisely, Greg reserved “skip the line” passes to the Royal Palace, thus avoiding tourist masses following umbrella-carrying guides. We climbed the 70-some Sabatini designed stairs, passed the imposing lion and entered 40 of 3,000 elaborately furnished rooms. There was a real throne room, a fully set table for 118 in the dining room, plus fireplaces, chandeliers and mirrors everywhere. “Why so many mirrors?” I queried Ella. “To reflect the light?” she correctly guessed. The Royal Armory was next. There, knights-in-not-so-shining armor rode armor-clad horses, led by armorprotected dog mascots. “James,” I beckoned. “Come stand by this guy to see who is taller?” For the record, men averaged 5’3” in the 1400s. I’m not sure if James was more impressed with ancient weaponry or the palace garden mazes where we played hide-n-seek, followed by dipping fresh churros into cups of thick, steaming chocolate. On to Avila, where we scanned the

horizon for invaders from atop its medieval walls, fortifications began in 1009, built by Moorish prisoners of Christian ruler, Alfonso VI. Nothing approached except tourists on pilgrimage to Santa Teresa’s convent. Later, we posed under Segovia’s Roman aqueducts, circa 50 B.C. before visiting the Alcazar palace of Queen Isabella I of 1492 fame. Besides funding

Columbus, she led her troops into Granada, defeated the Moors, thus reuniting Spain. Would Ella understand the significance of a woman ruler in that century or now? Before I could explain Isabella’s “Convert or die” policy, a large bird swooped overhead. “Look!” I called out. “There’s one of the infamous storks, not so popular now that Segovia is a UNESCO site!”

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Left: James in the Italica Roman Ruins amphitheater. Middle: Family in the corner of the Plaza Mayor overlooking the Cueva de Luis Candela (balloon sword from Mickey). Right: James with his Zelda dagger by a Toledan Knight.

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Everywhere they heard of the three religions. “Moors, Christians and Jews once lived here peacefully,” the guide began. “Wait,” James whispered, “Isn’t Toledo where they make the swords?” He wasn’t talking Reconquista, but the Hobbit trilogy. Greg specifically reserved a tour including a swordmaking demo. Inside the forge, a swordsmith transferred blades from blue-flamed fires to his bench where rhythmic pounding shaped the famed artisan swords. James’ eyes lit up. “This is a dream come true!” His second dream came true when we purchased a replica master dagger from Zelda, evidently a very important video game. Greg was equally pleased with a replica Orcrist — goblincleaver — both mailed home. On a practical note, we had to eat. James, a self-proclaimed “picky-eater,” started rating Spain’s hamburgers and chicken nuggets, surprisingly on many menus. However, the afternoon after soaking in Seville’s Guadalquivir riverwalk, I required “Spanish” cuisine. I approached a woman sweeping streets, pointed to

“Resting at the Bequer poetry statue in the Parque Maria Luisa, Seville — my favorite visit. When here, I usually pose students/friends in front of the statue, but the fence is now a barrier.” Inset: Jan, middle, did a reenactment photo with her university friends Lois and Maggie who studied with her in Seville in 1972. The photo was taken around 1982 or so. my hungry entourage and, without hesitation, she directed us to La Andaluza. On the wall of this quaint bar, their blackboard listed 50 tapas. The calamares and croquetas were perfect with our pitcher of sangria. And, they had ketchup for James’ chicken nuggets. Granada’s Alhambra and Generalife Gardens offered another UNESCO moment. For three hours we walked through manicured cypress and honeycombed ceilings imagining sultans and their harems among the myrtle and reflecting pools. When we took a break for Twister ice cream bars, Ella checked my phone and frowned, “How come you got 19,000 steps and I got less? Maybe smaller steps?” Seville is a premier place to be for Holy Week, but our long days and distance from the city center kept us from the action. Processions lasted all night. James shared his evening television time to watch La Macarena and Jesus de Gran Poder heavy floats carried by penitents to the cathedral. Saeta mourning songs pierced the

air, as Christ’s last week on earth was reenacted along the narrow streets. What did they absorb? What will they ponder now, with a new culture for comparison? Ella noticed the light switches outside the rooms and wondered, “Why don’t we do that? James, looking at a small box behind glass at Santa Teresa de Avila’s museum, wondered, “Why did they cut her finger off and keep it here?”

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I don’t know. I do believe we’re products of our historical time. Someday, we’ll be the ancient civilization. What will future folks wonder about us? Jan Kurtz’s book, Northern Shores/Southern Borders: Revelations of a Bilingual Life, is available at local stores as well as online with Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It just became available as an e-book, so read away! Check out: www.janetkurtz.com and sign up for her free newsletter: LA PLUMA, covering culture north to south.

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HER TABLE + fall recipes

BY SUE READY

COZY AND COMFORTING

foods

A change in seasons brings cozy and comforting foods for the cooler season. Seasonal produce is harvested with recipes that are sweet and savory, showcasing classic fall flavors. Choices abound. It’s a foodie’s heaven.

38 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

SHRIMP, AVOCADO AND TOMATO CROSTINI

Garlicky shrimp mixed with diced avocados and tomatoes make for a flavorful, yummy and colorful appetizer. Make these bites ahead of time. Simply toast your baguette and prepare the shrimp mixture right before serving. Cook’s Notes: The recipe calls for toasted baguette slices which make for smaller appetizers, 8-10 slices. Another option is to bake frozen garlic Texas Toast according to directions and then halve each piece before adding on topping mixture. The recipe inspiration is from damndelicious.net.

+ INGREDIENTS: 1 French baguette, ends trimmed and cut into 1/2-inch slices 2 tablespoons butter 3 cloves of garlic, minced 1/3 cup of diced sweet onion 1/2 cup of diced red pepper 3 cups of small cooked shrimp, peeled, deveined and thawed 2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved 1 avocado, halved, peeled, seeded and diced 1 tablespoon dried parsley flakes 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice, or more, to taste Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper Dash red pepper flakes

+ DIRECTIONS: Brown the meat with onions, peppers, carrots, celery and garlic in a frying pan. Crumble meat, drain and pat dry of the grease. Add the meat mixture to the slow cooker with rest of listed ingredients except pasta. Mix well. Cook soup on low 4 hours. Stir occasionally. Add in pasta last 20 minutes of cooking time. Remove bay leaf. You may need to add more broth as pasta does absorb a lot of liquid. The soup can also be cooked on a covered stove top on low setting for one hour; do not let mixture boil.

PUMPKIN APPLESAUCE MUFFINS WITH MAPLE CREAM GLAZE Cook’s Notes: These muffins + DIRECTIONS: are easy, moist, no mixer needed, Preheat the oven to 375 and are absolutely delicious. degrees. They are hearty and healthy Line two standard muffin enough for breakfast, snacks or really any time of the day. tins with paper liners and Consider the option of making set aside. healthier choices by leaving In a large bowl, whisk off the glaze or replacing some together the eggs, of the all-purpose flour with whole wheat flour. The following pumpkin, oil, applesauce recipe makes 16 regular-sized and sugars. muffins and was adapted from In a separate bowl, whisk melskitchencafe.com.

PASTA E FAGIOLI This Italian style soup is loaded with hearty ground beef, fresh vegetables, creamy beans, tender pasta and delicious herbs all in a rich and savory broth, a soup that rivals Olive Garden’s signature soup. Cook’s Notes: Pasta e fagioli means “pasta and beans” and is a traditional Italian dish. Like many other Italian favorites, including pizza and polenta, the dish started as a peasant dish, being composed of inexpensive ingredients. Add dried pasta in the last 20 minutes of cooking time to avoid becoming mushy. Cook al dente. I used Italian sausage for more flavor.

+ INGREDIENTS: 1 pound ground beef or Italian sweet sausage Salt and pepper to taste 1 cup each of diced sweet onions, carrots, red pepper and celery 3 minced garlic cloves 1 can diced tomatoes (basil, garlic) 3 cups of chicken broth 1/2 cup of water 1 can dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed 1 can Great Northern White Beans, drained and rinsed 1 jar (24.5 oz.) marinara sauce 1 bay leaf 1 teaspoon each Italian seasoning, chili powder, parsley flakes 1/2 teaspoon each oregano and sugar Dash of red pepper flakes Optional 1/4 teaspoon espresso powder 1 cup of uncooked dried pasta, e.g. ditalini, small shells, elbow macaroni

+ INGREDIENTS: 3 large eggs 1-1/3 cups of canned pumpkin puree, not pie filling 1/2 cup of neutral flavored oil (like canola, vegetable, avocado) 1/2 cup of no-sugar-added applesauce 1/2 cup each granulated sugar and brown sugar 2-1/2 cups of all-purpose flour (I used 1-3/4 cups white flour and 3/4 cup whole wheat flour) 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice 2 teaspoons Saigon cinnamon or 3 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt Optional add-ins: 1/3 cup chopped walnuts and/or 1/3 cup raisins + MAPLE GLAZE: 1 cup (4 ounces) powdered sugar 2-4 tablespoons heavy cream or half and half 1/2 teaspoon maple extract or 1 tablespoon pure maple syrup

together the flour, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix until just combined (don’t over mix or the muffins may be dense and kind of heavy). Divide the batter evenly among the prepared muffin tins, filling the cups 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 15-16 minutes or until the top of the muffins spring back to the touch and/or a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean with a few moist crumbs attached. Remove baked muffins from the muffin tin to a cooling rack to cool completely. For the glaze, whisk together the glaze ingredients, starting with the lesser amount of cream and adding more as needed to make a pourable, but still thick, glaze. Drizzle the glaze over the cooled muffins with a spoon or fork.

Remove bay leaf. You may need to add more broth as pasta does absorb a lot of liquid. The soup can also be cooked on a covered stove top on low setting for one hour; do not let mixture boil.

HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 39

HER FRIENDSHIPS + connections

Shelly Ford, back left, Ruth Nelson, Terri McLean, Caroline Qualey, Marina Grabowski, Barb Greatens, Mary Lastovich, front, Bonnie Henningson, Ginger Augustinack, Debbie Hibbard and Chris Christy pose for a Gourmet Gals group photo at Ginger’s house. Missing is Ann Swanson.

committed to connection: A RECIPE FOR FRIENDSHIP SUCCESS BY CHELSEA ORNELAS | PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON Friendships seem to happen effortlessly when you’re a kid. You build relationships with the other children in your neighborhood and your schoolmates. You have fewer responsibilities and more free time. Ample opportunities for fun activities, sports, clubs, and hobbies make it easier to connect with your peers. However, making and maintaining friendships as an adult requires commitment and intentionality, but it is well worth the effort. Scientists leading the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest ongoing studies of adult life (started in 1938) say the data shows 40 | HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023

strong relationships are perhaps the most important ingredient to a happy life. What has helped me find connections? One key commitment in my life is a frontrunner. For five years, I’ve been part of a monthly dinner group. We get together every first Thursday and keep in touch via text messages and social media in between. Our group’s founder and unofficial commissioner, Megan (Augustinack) Christiansen explains it best: “It’s like book club, but without the required reading.” Christiansen started our dinner group in 2014 at the inspiration of her mother, Ginger Augustinack.

ORIGINS

The Augustinack family moved back to Ginger’s hometown of Brainerd in the fall of 1996. She wasn’t a true newcomer but had been gone 16 years and was looking to get reconnected in the community. She joined the Brainerd Area Newcomers group which led to an invitation to join one of two recently formed Gourmet Groups. It’s a commitment she’s kept since 1997. Augustinack and the 11 other women in the group meet by 6 p.m., usually on the first Thursday of each month, and start the evening’s multi-course meal. As the food is prepared and the wine is poured, there’s lots of chatter and catching up. It’s a comfortable, warm atmosphere. It’s an evening the women can count on for connection.

THE GOURMET GROUP’S TRADITIONS

The 12 women have developed a system that makes their group work. They work in pairs. Each duo takes turns serving as the hosts. They decide on a theme (ethnic cuisine, seasonal, cooked in a Crock Pot, brunch) and split the duties: one opens her home to the group for the evening and the other takes the lead on cooking the entrée. Together they select the recipes to round out a multi-course meal. “It used to be we’d send the recipes by snail mail,” Augustinack explained. “Sometimes you’d get it and go, ‘What is this?’ and you’d have to look it up online or call stores around town to find a specific spice or ingredient. Of all the recipes, it’s never been a failure…it’s always yummy and you go home stuffed.” Today, they send recipe assignments via email. Top left: Ginger Augustinack pauses from her hosting duties. Augustinack started Gourmet Gals back in 1997. Top right: Debbie Hibbard and Bonnie Henningson giggle while gathering in Ginger Augustinack’s kitchen for the Gourmet Gals evening of fun and food. Bottom left: The Gourmet Gals enjoy appetizers at Ginger Augustinack’s home. The group usually meets at 6 p.m. the first Thursday of each month for a multi-course meal. Bottom right: Marina Grabowski, left, and Shelly Ford, enjoy a beverage at a Gourmet Gals night.

The host goes all out, using her fine China set or special occasion tableware and decorating to match the theme. The hosting pair are also responsible for providing decaf coffee to accompany the dessert and for printing enough copies of each recipe for members to keep.

HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 41

BEYOND THE PLATE

It’s food that brought the women together, but it’s fellowship and friendship that keeps them together. Eight of the 12 women in today’s Gourmet Group have been part of the crew since 1997. Augustinack says they’ve navigated life’s ups and downs together, supporting one another through various life challenges. “When we first started, our kids were really young,” she said. “We went through middle school and high school together. One year, I think seven of us had high school graduates. Now, our parents are aging and some of us have lost parents, so we’ve supported each other through that.” Augustinack and two other women lost their husbands within six months of each other in 2013. They leaned on each other and the other group members. “We’ve been through a lot of good things together, too,” she said. “Our children getting married and now there are grandbabies around.”

Top left: Chelsea Ornelas, left, Emily Jedinak and Ashley Thomas share laughs at their dinner group night out. Top right: Chelsea Ornelas, left front, Emily Jedinak, Ashley Thomas, Megan (Augustinack) Christiansen, right front, Toni Hidalgo and Maggie Velasco look at menus at Iron Range Eatery in Crosby. Bottom left: Nicole Vollhaber, left, Cassie O’Connor and Kayla Anderson giggle while perusing the menus at Iron Range Eatery in Crosby. Bottom right: The dinner group girls enjoy beverages at the Hard Water Lounge in Crosby.

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Left to right in the “U” shape are Megan (Augustinack) Christiansen, who followed her mom, Ginger’s lead in starting a monthly dinner group for younger women, is joined by Emily Jedinak, Maggie Velasco, Ashley Thomas, Cassie O’Connor, Kayla Anderson and Chelsea Orenelas. Cheers!

“Let’s not even say how many times we’ve used paper plates.” Megan Christiansen

PASSING ON THE TRADITION

Like her mom, Christiansen moved back to Brainerd as a young adult and was looking to make friends. She had Augustinack’s group framework and got to work inviting members. “Our group has changed a lot,” she said. “Three of us that were part of that original meet-up are still part of the group today. A lot of us were single and didn’t have kids. Now, almost all of us have kids. All of us work full time. We’ve done baby showers for each other and meal trains for the family once baby arrives.” Similar to the Gourmet Group, our Dinner Group also maintains 12 members, meets monthly on a predetermined date, takes turns hosting, and plans meals around themes. However, we work in groups of three, choose our own recipes to fit the

theme, and take a less formal approach. “Let’s not even say how many times we’ve used paper plates,” Christiansen said. “Our less formal approach fits better for our busy lives. We recently started weaving in going out to a restaurant every few months, too.” For now, simple with some structure seems to work best for the younger generation of Dinner Group. Chelsea Ornelas is a wife, mama to two little boys, full-time marketer, and movement junkie. She loves connecting with people and learning their stories (which means she asks a lot of questions). In 2017, she and three friends hiked the Grand Canyon from rim to rim in a single day. Her favorite phrase is, “Clear is kind.”

Recipe for Success What Dinner Group has taught me is that a little organization goes a long way. It can feel a bit odd to set up a system for friendships or social plans, but without it, things can fizzle quickly. Here’s the recipe for a successful and meaningful social group (doesn’t have to be dinner!): • Keep a consistent cadence. Meeting monthly seems to work for the Gourmet and Dinner Groups. Sticking to the same day each month also helps tremendously (i.e. first Thursday or second Tuesday). • Plan together. Use one of your monthly meetings to choose themes, plan outings and assign hosts and roles. • Write it down. Have a shared document with the details of your plan so everyone’s on the same page and can be prepared. • Share the work. Work in pairs or small groups to make the meal come together. HER VOICE FALL/WINTER 2023 | 43

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