November, 2009

BRANCHING OUT Tallahassee’s LGBT Community Newspaper

November 15th, 2009

Volume 13, Issue #11

Are You Ready For Holiday Shopping?

City of Tallahassee Approves Domestic Partner Benefits Sir Ian McKellen Visits Tallahassee

Holiday Shopping Resource Guide

WELCOME

BRANCHING OUT

It’s The Thought That Counts

By Patrick Patterson Branching Out Production Team

is published monthly by The Family Tree Community Center.

Appearance in this publication makes no inference about sexual orientation or gender identity.

BRANCHING OUT’S mission is to be the paper of record for the LGBT community of Tallahassee, and in that capacity it seeks to inform, advocate, engage, and entertain while being a responsible representative of the LGBT community and its allies to the outside world.

Contact Branching Out:

P.O. Box 38477, Tallahassee, FL 32315 (850) 222-8555 branchingout@familytreecenter.org

Publication Schedule - 15th of Each Month Submission Deadlines - 1st of Each Month

Contributors in this issue: Kelly Gregg Diana Kampert Terry Kant-Rauch Greta Langley Ivan Sondel Sarah Sturges Jim VanRiper

in this issue...

News. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Feature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Voices. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Out & About . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

From The Team

Production Team:

Steven Hall, Andy Janecek, Margeaux Mutz, and Patrick Patterson

Where did the year go? It’s time again to start setting up the Christmas/Holiday tree, dragging out the synthetic mistletoe, and stringing thousands of lights around the border of your house so that you, too, can compete in the “who uses the most electricity, olympics.” The City of Tallahassee is beginning to smile a little more this month because of the increase usage, I’m sure. It’s time once again to extract those nativity sets from the boxes that hold them eleven months out of the year and to inflate the snowglobes that beacon to the passers by that you know, as well as they do, that the holidays are here.

Everywhere you go, people are fighting over this year’s hottest toy or video game or standing in line to see the man of the hour, who’s wearing nothing but red and white and trying to distinguish the children who’ve been naughty against the one’s who’ve been a little less than naughty.

Shopping is something that I really don’t enjoy. For one, I don’t have any money and secondly, the only people I buy for are my parents. Often, I am left with the feeling that “how can this gift make up for all of the many things that my parents have given me over the years.” I bombard myself with the question that I’m sure most of us ask, “will the person I’m buying this for really appreciate it?” Then I have to remind myself that it doesn’t really matter because it’s “the thought that counts.” ... some expensive thoughts. How about I just imagine the gift that I would like to buy for everyone and just give them a printout of a Google image that I find for them. It’s not the “thought” that counts, so much as the fact that you’ve spent hours of your life hunting down the perfect gift, wrapped it in the perfect paper, tied it with the perfect ribbon, and placed it beside all of the other “thoughts” underneath a perfectly decorated tree.

I just realized that I am sounding really bitter. It’s truly not my intention to sound this way... but it seems to me that preparing for a holiday is more work than the name suggests. The “holidays” don’t seem to be much of a holiday for anyone.

Everytime I think of horrible shopping stories, I am reminded of the episode of the Golden Girls where instead of going out and shopping for each other, they decide to draw names. Everyone is frightened that they will get Rose’s gift because it is inevitably going to be a yodeling lesson or a nativity set carved from cheese. They are all surprised when Blanche opens the gift from Rose to find a (and I say this with a pause, because it was the 80’s) beautiful blouse. When Blanche questions Rose’s choice in selection, Rose states that Dorothy had suggested that Blanche would want something “crotchless.”

In these economic times, it takes creativity and a little will power to not go out and buy the biggest and the best for those you love. Don’t max out the credit card... find something personal and they’ll love it even more.

Take suggestions and put your own twist on it. I’m not saying to REALLY print out images from Google and give it to them instead, but put some thought into the tokens for the ones you love.

Of course, there will always be one who says, “don’t get me anything... your presence is enough.” DON’T LISTEN TO THIS PERSON. We’ll see what they say on the day after when you’ve shown up without a gift for them but one for everyone else.

News from the Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 LGBT Business Partner of the Month . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Community/Family Tree Info. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

When Finished...

Please Recycle!

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We Want To Hear From You!!!

Next month is the “Home for the Holidays” edition of Branchin Out. Share your holiday stories with us!

Email your submissions to branchingout@familytreecenter.org by December 1st.

BRANCHING OUT

House Committee to Vote on Employment Non-Discrimination Act The House Education and Labor Committee will vote on Wednesday, November 18, 2009, at 10:00 a.m. on legislation to end the widespread practice of employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (H.R. 3017), introduced by Reps. Barney Frank (D-MA) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL), would prohibit employment discrimination, preferential treatment, and retaliation on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity by employers with 15 or more employees.

Currently, it is legal to discriminate in the workplace based on sexual orientation in 29 states and to discriminate based on gender identity in 38 states.

Maine Voters Devastatingly Approve Amendment 1 On November 3rd, voters in Maine approved Amendment 1–similar to Florida’s infamous Amendment 2–overturning the state’s marriage equality law. “I am angry. But more importantly, I am determined that with the anger I feel today from this outcome in Maine, we’ll rise ever stronger to demand equal treatment under the law and equal respect for our relationships in Maine, California, New Jersey, and every state in the Union,” wrote Joe Solmonese, President of Human Rights Campaign, in an email to opponents of the measure.

With a final vote of 47% in favor of marriage equality and 53% opposed, the numbers speak volumes about nearly half of Maine’s readiness to legalize marriage for same-sex couples. It was the 31st time same-sex marriage has lost at a ballot box in a U.S. State.

First Openly Gay Person Elected to St. Pete City Council Earlier this month, candidate Steve Kornell became the first openly gay person voted to a seat on the St. Petersburg City Council. Kornell won 59% of the vote in a historic race in Florida’s fourth largest city. Kornell will represent St. Petersburg’s district 5.

Sir Ian McKellan Visits Tallahassee

By Margeaux Mutz Branching Out Staff Writer I’m going to tell you something that probably is going to make me look bad but I need to out myself. When Steven Hall told me that Sir Ian McKellen had asked to address members of the local LGBTQ activist community while visiting Florida State (Oct. 28), I was unimpressed. I mean I didn’t know who the hell he was. “You know, Gandalf or maybe you know him better as Magneto,” Steven said. “Uh huh and whom or what are they?” was my reply. When he told me that he was an Oscar nominated classically trained British stage actor I still didn’t give a rip. When he told me that he was a founding member of the British LGBT rights group Stonewall it all began to make sense and my interest was piqued. I went if for no other reason than to hang out with some of the cool people who make up our community. Lucky me!

Sir Ian was amazing. He told us of his coming out, 21 years hence and what it has meant to his life. He told us of how at age 70 his life is about making the world a better place for all beings that inhabit this planet. His intelligence, empathy and humanity were all on display for us to witness, a true living example that it is never too late to make a difference. Though I was unprepared I managed to jot down (on the back of my bank deposit record book) some of his renderings. Let me share them with you: “Heterosexuality is a very interesting phenomenon.”

“Whip off the beard and the funny hat and photo by Michael Champion there is a gay activist underneath.”

“I hope someday that talking about gay issues will be as boring as looking at someone’s wedding photographs.”

“The best thing about coming out is that I became politicized.”

“Gay people have the chance to be stronger than straight people.”

“Don’t ask, don’t tell makes America look rather silly to the rest of the world.”

“We stand on high moral ground. We are right!”

“Some of your best friends are your worst enemies.”

“No one is born a religion but one is born gay.”

What I have listed are just a few of the many but I have to stop somewhere. I will end by having Sir Ian tell the story of a mother who is confronted with a son who questions what he is feeling. She tells him that it is no big deal! “Son, it just means that you’re gay.”

We’re not there yet, but with people like Sir Ian McKellen, we will get there.

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

NEWS City of Tallahassee Amends Employment NonDiscrimination Policy and Adds Domestic Partner Benefits

By Jim VanRiper Branching Out Contributor Wednesday, October 28th was a great day for the LGBT movement particularly here in Tallahassee. The President signed the Matthew Shepherd Act into law. I remember vividly how I felt when Matthew was brutally murdered. His death occurred during the period when I was coming out. I lived in Colorado at the time and at times I feared… what if it had been me, or could it happen to me. Probably in some way Matthew’s death motivated me to get involved and try to make a difference.

That day was also a great day to live and work in Tallahassee. My employer, the City of Tallahassee, by unanimous vote of the City Commission passed a comprehensive policy change to add sexual orientation AND gender identity in their employment policies. This policy change also provides employees with domestic partners employee benefits such as health care, life insurance, dental, vision and modified leave policies to allow for domestic partners to care for their partner and their partner’s children. This benefit will be provided to all employees with a domestic partner. It does not distinguish between gay or straight partnerships.

I am proud to be a City employee and I remember the trepidation about accepting a job with the City when I learned they provided no protection for LGBT employees and, worse yet, didn’t offer any benefits. My previous job was with an employer who did.

The City Commission expressed surprise that these policies had not been implemented years ago and I thank them for finally taking a stand for equality for ALL employees. This City Commission has demonstrated that they value their workforce and desire to be able to recruit the best and the brightest regardless of who they are. One thing to mention is that these changes were “Policy” changes and they could have been simply implemented by the City Manager. The Commission chose to make a statement by doing it in a public forum. I have received many comments from people that the City did such a good job in preparing the agenda item that the commission could not have voted against it. It was simply stunning how comfortable and at ease our Commissioners discussed and how quickly they voted to approve this item.

I have to admit that after the passing Amendment 2, I felt sucker-punched for months, maybe even up until now. This change happened because people, who care how people are treated, decided it was time. City Staff put hours of time into research and obtaining legal reviews, reviewing existing policies and making changes to be truly inclusive. There was strong support from City Staff and the Commission. Commissioner Gillum was particularly outspoken and the words he said at the Commission meeting were evidence of his strong stand for equal rights for all.

What I appreciate most was the Commission standing up to say they wanted to be an example and that this is a small but important step. Their efforts will be very helpful in our work to convince the County Commission to pass an ordinance to protect all citizens of Leon County.

The recently established Leon County Human Relations Committee is up and running.

The past two meetings have been mostly organizational, setting the ground rules for how it functions and beginning to set an agenda. I hope to have more of an update in coming months. The committee process does slow things down but I am confident we have a group of people who are committed to supporting human rights in Leon County on the committee.

The Leon County Human Relations Committee Members are: Rob Renzi, Jeff Peters, Sharon Ofuani, Craig Fletcher, Jessica Tice, Lee Johnson, and Jim VanRiper.

If you know these people please impress upon them how important the work they are doing is and that the LGBT Community is counting on them to recommend implementation of employee protections and updating the housing code to protect all citizens of our County.

It is our time my friends! If it can happen in the Panhandle, it can happen anywhere.

Jim VanRiper is interim chairman of the Leon County Human Relations Committee and also serves as co-chair of The Family Tree.

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FEATURE

Holiday Gift Giving Making it meaningful...

Not Stressful!

By Kelly Gregg Special to Branching Out When the holiday season arrives people, tend to start thinking about shopping. Gift-giving has been associated with the holidays for hundreds of years, but in the USA, maybe even more. We all remember getting new toys with that new plastic smell. Little did we know that new plastic smell was actually the release of endocrine disruptors! Or receiving clothes from Grandma that we never wore and gave to a thrift store.

In these challenging economic times it will be especially difficult to rationalize buying a list full of gifts for family, much less friends or co-workers. Some folks go to the Dollar Store and purchase 20-$1 (dust collecting) items and then give them to all their co-workers as a holiday gifts. That, to me, is the height of consumerism. Spending your well-earned money on crappy little items, just so you can feel better about yourself. Because, let me tell you, it irritates me to receive ‘meaningless’ gifts of that nature. The irritation comes from receiving a gift without thought of who I am and how I feel. A gift that was purchased with the giver in mind!

Home for the Holidays…Or Not!

However, gift giving doesn’t have to be meaningless, expensive, painful or toxic. First of all, gifts should reflect your feelings toward someone. Give a gift because you really care about

By Terry Kant-Rauch that person and what would make them happy. You also want to ensure that the gift you Branching Out Contributor give isn’t going to cause the recipient medical problems. Causing problems is bad, especially when you mean to do something nice and it doesn’t turn out that way. Don’t just select In most relationships, holidays can present conflicts and be stressful. Whose family the cheapest brand, look to see if there is a more environmentally friendly choice. Lot of people have allergies so pick your scents carefully. If the gift you give, gives more symptoms do we celebrate with this year? What if mom doesn’t like my partner or vice versa? How do we include the children in our blended families? Which holiday do we celebrate in than pleasure, it’s bad! our interfaith family? Even food choices can cause problems – meat or vegetarian?

Which brings me to another point about gifts: ownership. Once you give a gift, the gift now Alcohol or no alcohol?

GLBT couples have added dynamics to an already potentially loaded situation, belongs to the other person. If for some reason they are unable to use or they don’t want the gift, they have the right to re-gift that item. Your feelings shouldn’t be injured by this especially if one or both partners are not “out”. Pretending to be “friends” and keeping event. You have already received your good feelings from giving the gift, it is time to let it up that charade can take all the joy out of the holiday celebration and set up your go. Sometimes you might arrange ahead of time with the recipient, that if they don’t want relationship for power struggles and hurt feelings.

If extended family members don’t accept the relationship and do not want to share it, you would like to receive it back. I have done that a few times when I buy something for a the holidays with their relative’s same sex partner this creates a bind for the GLBT loving friend and I like the gift so much I add a caveat to the gift. Otherwise, set it free. couple. Having to make the choice between a partner and extended family can be So, with the best intentions you start looking at your list of names to receive gifts, while very painful.

If the partner is not acknowledged or included, the relationship is invalidated and checking your budget and taking into account the number of paydays before the end of the year minus bills, minus food, etc. Whew! Our budget is $20! FOR 20 PEOPLE! Holy moly, I that affects the couple on many levels. Now, if you’ve only been with your partner a few months, expecting to be included in holidays may be premature. But if you are guess we need to go to the Dollar Store! NO WAY! a longer term relationship, and consider your partner to be your spouse, then weigh Truly though, gift giving can be an expensive proposition if you don’t take the time to 1) Set carefully the dangers vs. advantages of denying this commitment. your priorities, 2) Be realistic, and 3) Set limits. There are many ways to keep your gift-giving Here are some considerations: budget low.

1. Make your own gifts. Not everyone has artistic talent, but most folks can mix things to- - Don’t draw a line in the sand with either your extended family or partner the first few years. Take some time to ease everyone into celebrating together. Partners often gether. Pepper sauce, jellies, baked goods, bath salts, soap, family/friend picture collages, etc. have differences in how “out” they are in general and how accepting their families can be created very cheaply and naturally. are. It will take time to gel all this.

2. Re-gift. Take an honest look at your possessions. Do you have things you don’t use, but you know a friend would love to own like a painting, a scarf, possibly a china set that is sitting - Don’t come out just before or duriwng a holiday. That rarely goes over well. It’s too much to process during a stressful time, especially if you plan to bring your partner around collecting dust and not being appreciated? home, too.

3. Thrift store finds. There are lots of new and slightly used items that get donated all the - Give parents, siblings and children time to adjust not only to a new partner, but to time. the GLBT aspect. Forcing them to deal with it at a family gathering when they are not ready may extend the length of time they need to adjust to and accept this All that sounds good, but there are some folks out there who don’t really worry about a new family configuration. Power struggles will emerge. Remember, you probably budget, or can spend more on gifts and want to buy first hand items. For those folks I would needed a few years to adjust yourself. They need some time too. reiterate meaningful gift giving. Look at the person, their lifestyle, needs and desires, and select with the person in mind.

- Consider if it’s worth it to attend a family gathering if your parents are fine with your relationship but they want you to “hide it” from Aunt Betty and the cousins. Is that If the person is elderly, chances are they have most of what they need from buying, receivOK or not? Again, having to deny who you are to each other may be harmful to your ing, or collecting through the years and you might consider getting them something concouple relationship even if it makes sense in the short term. But showing up without sumable and non-toxic like a restaurant gift card, or natural body care products.

Aunt Betty knowing ahead of time and suddenly being “out” really isn’t fair to her either.

For men, food items are usually good gifts. Women might like something in the spa area, chocolate, or tools. Yeah, some women really like tools! I guess guys like tools too! Books are good for most people. Children like lots of things, but they love to pick out their own things, - Consider foregoing some holidays with your partner the first few years if some time is needed for family adjustment. After that, you may need to set some clear boundaries. which brings me to...Gift Certificates!

This could mean that you don’t go to a family gathering unless your partner can come and be treated well. Or you can celebrate with your partner separately from I love gift certificates. I feel they are very thoughtful and caring gifts. The person gets to feel the family celebration, gradually clarifying that your commitment to your partner good multiple times. First when they receive the card. Then when they get to go into their takes precedence over extended family celebrations. If your family has known about favorite store to shop. At the checkout counter when they don’t have to pay. And finally your life and orientation for awhile, setting clear boundaries and nudging them to while using the gift they selected! get with the program will likely need to happen.

Also, consider everyone else who will benefit from your choices like the business you are supporting with your gift dollars. Is there a local business you can get the item from verses a - Be open to starting new holiday rituals with your chosen partner/family. Invite your extended family members to join you for a specific holiday, but make it a minor one big business? Could you support a local artist or craftsperson? Maybe you can make a donainitially. tion to a charity in this person’s name! Being deliberate in your gift-giving shows the person you actually care enough to think about them as you are getting your shop-on!

- If celebrating with your family and your partner together just doesn’t work, be creative about how to stay close to all those involved. Perhaps you’ll spend Christmas Eve Some local possibilities: New Leaf Market, Crystal Connection, Stone Age,. Havana has many with your parents, and Christmas Day with your partner, or rotate holidays. locally run businesses. Good big businesses: Borders, Publix. There are others. Also consider some on-line shopping at http://www.reusablebags.com. Great store and very environmenWhatever your situation, remember: Be flexible. And don’t forget to breathe. tally conscious.

However your shopping experience unfolds this year, whether it is just for you; simple and quick; or long, expensive, and intensive; I hope you are more aware of the process, take more time to select, and become a more Deliberate Consumer! Happy Shopping!

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Terry Kant-Rauch is a licensed Psychotherapist, retired from private practice. Now a full time Realtor, she is the owner/Broker for Kant Realty of North Florida. She can be reached at (850) 877-2121 or terrykant@aol.com.

BRANCHING OUT

Refuge House – In Depth

By Sarah Sturges Special to Branching Out Last month in Branching Out, we learned important information about Domestic Violence. We learned that there is a cycle of violence that moves from an initial tension building stage to battering to a kindness, “I’m sorry” stage--and around again. We learned, not surprisingly, that same gender relationships include intimate partner violence at levels similar to that of heterosexual couples. We learned about legal options of Injunctions and we learned about healing our inner spirits after abuse has occurred.

You may wonder why we are still talking about this issue. In fact the answer is that we have to! According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects, there are some pretty startling statistics regarding domestic violence and the LGBTQ community: Domestic violence affecting LGBT individuals continues to be grossly underreported throughout most of the country, even where there are some LGBT specific domestic violence resources.

Gay and bisexual men experience abuse in intimate partner relationships at a rate of 2 in 5. This is a rate comparable to that of domestic violence experienced by heterosexual women.

Approximately 50% of lesbians report having been abused by a woman partner in their lifetime.

For a host of reasons, including heterosexism and transphobia, there is relatively little scientific research that has been done on the topic of LGBT intimate partner violence or domestic violence.

As LGBTQ people, we may find discrimination in areas of our lives, however, domestic violence does not discriminate. The batterer’s main goal to have power and control over someone else is common across all social and cultural groups. When domestic violence occurs among people who identify as LGBTQ, batterers may use tactics that reinforce the oppression that our community experiences. According to the National Coalition of AntiViolence Projects, some of these tactics include: “Outing” or threatening to out a partner’s sexual orientation or gender identity to family, employer, police, religious institution, community, or in child custody disputes.

Reinforcing fears that no one will help a partner because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or that for this reason, the partner “deserves” the abuse.

Justifying abuse with the notion that a partner is not “really” lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

Telling the partner that abusive behavior is a normal part of LGBT relationships, or that it cannot be domestic violence because it is occurring between LGBT individuals.

Using the reality of small LGBT communities to spread rumors and isolate the victim from social support.

Haley Cutler, Manager of Professional and Community Education for Women In Distress of Broward County, Inc reminds us that all survivors of domestic violence have a right to safety, services and support. “Unfortunately, when LGBT survivors do reach out, their needs are often dismissed and disregarded or met with homophobic responses about LGBT people and relationships. As a marginalized and oppressed population, there are increased barriers towards seeking safety from abusive relationships for survivors of domestic violence who identify as LGBT. This is due, in part, to a lack of formal relationship recognition which may lead to unequal access through the legal system for victims, social and cultural bias and discrimination against LGBT people, and a widespread assumption that domestic violence is only perpetrated by heterosexual men againt women. Additionally, because of the widespread belief that domestic violence affects primarily hetersexual women, LGBT victims may be less likely to identify abuse in their relationships and may believe that domestic violence services will not be available to them. Furthermore, some mainstream domestic violence service providers may not have culturally relevant services accessible to LGBT survivors while LGBT specific service providers (for example, LGBT community centers) may not have the necessary understanding of the dynamics of domestic violence to support survivors.”

We are lucky to live in a community that has a quality agency devoted to handling all issues of Domestic and Sexual Violence: Refuge House, Inc. Refuge House is dedicated to understanding the specific needs of the LGBT community and to providing needed services. Refuge House has collaborated with PRIDE on campus working to get the word out about domestic and sexual violence in LGBTQ relationships. The agency is willing to offer alternative accommodations for male and transsexual survivors, focusing primarily on the safety for the victim and the victim’s needs, regardless of sexual orientation.

Refuge House is the domestic and sexual violence center for Leon and the seven neighboring counties in North Florida: Franklin, Gadsden, Jefferson, Liberty, Madison, Taylor, and Wakulla.

Refuge House first opened its doors to provide emergency shelter on February 14, 1978, and later merged with Tallahassee Rape Crisis to provide sexual violence services, as well.

The mission of Refuge House is to provide direct services to domestic violence survivors, their children, and sexual assault survivors, as well as to eliminate conditions in society that allow such violence to continue. During its 30+ year history, Refuge House has developed a comprehensive range of services for survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

24 HOUR CRISIS HOTLINE: (850) 681-2111 or (800) 500-1119 One of the greatest services provided is the 24 hour crisis hotline. This hotline can be accessed through the local number, 681-2111, or through the state-wide hotline (800) 5001119. There is someone waiting by the phone to talk to any survivor in need right now as you read this article. She is a trained hotline advocate familiar with the dynamics of domestic violence, the grief and pain associated with sexual violence, local community services, and has the ability to screen and approve callers for the shelter which is open 24 hours a day. All Refuge House services can be accessed through this hotline.

EMERGENCY SHELTER There are 2 emergency shelters in our local area. One is in Leon County and the other in Taylor County. Women who stay in the shelter are assigned to a Case Manager who will help them get connected with the services needed to maneuver the complicated situations resulting from domestic and sexual violence. Safety planning is provided, along with community resources and counseling. Males who are in need of shelter are provided alternative options that can be accessed through the 24 hour hotline. The best news yet is that all of these services are free!

FEATURE

www.refugehouse.com counties that Refuge House serves have outreach offices with full-time counselors or advocates available. These counselors can help link you with needed services, conduct safety planning or lend a wise and helpful ear. Each county has it’s own office (except Liberty for the moment). However, for the safety of those in need, many locations are kept confidential. To access these services, it is best to call the 24 hour hotline. Another of the fantastic priorities of the Outreach Counseling Program is to reach the populations who may experience difficulty receiving services, such as those in substance abuse treatment programs, incarcerated adults, elderly populations and other victims who might not otherwise be able to access help. Refuge House will bring the groups and services to these populations...free of charge!

In addition to providing services for adults, Refuge House is also committed to providing supportive counseling and advocacy for children who have been affected by domestic violence.

BI-LINGUAL SERVICES Refuge House has worked diligently to strengthen it’s bi-lingual services, particularly in Gadsden County where a large portion of the population there may need Spanish speaking advocates. Counseling may be provided in several counties in either Spanish or English. Any survivor who is in need of bi-lingual counseling will be provided such.

SANE (SEXUAL ASSAULT NURSE EXAMINATION) PROGRAM The SANE program can respond to victims of sexual assault 24 hours a day. Refuge House employs nurses who work with Tallahassee Memorial Hospital to provide sensitive medical care after the occurrence of a sexual assault. When a victim enters TMH, a 24 hour on-call Refuge House counselor or advocate is also available to meet with the victim. The counselor can provide assistance with clothing in cases where the victim’s clothing is kept as evidence, assistance with needed paperwork to waive fees, and to be available to provide support during a very difficult and sensitive time.

COMMUNITY EDUCATION The Community Education department ensures just that -- that our community is educated about these issues that affect all of us in one way or another. Presenters provide speaking engagements when requested, and organize community wide events such as the domestic violence speak out. During this upcoming year, the Community Education Department will be focusing on dating violence presentations in the high schools. Students will be encouraged to look at our current pop culture and how that affects domestic and sexual violence.

COURTHOUSE PROGRAM & WORKING WITH LEGAL SERVICES As was outlined in last month’s article on domestic violence, the Injunction can be a valuable order of protection. An Injunction is frequently referred to as a Restraining Order. Refuge House has an office in the courthouse (room 164) with full-time staff to help walk you through the challenging legal paperwork, free of charge. Advocates are also available to attend court with a petitioner as a supporter. All eight counties have this advocacy piece, however Leon County is the only county with an office in the courthouse. Services may be accessed through the main hotline or by calling the Refuge House Injunction Office at 577-4480.

Refuge House works closely in conjunction with Legal Services of North Florida. Legal Services is able to offer free legal representation for victims of domestic and sexual violence in an array of civil legal proceedings including Injunctions for protection against domestic, sexual, and dating violence, family law actions, landlord-tenant cases, consumer cases, foreclosures, bankruptcy, and others . For more information, please call the main office at 385-9007, or applications can be completed on-line at www.lsnf.org.

There is a lot of helpful information available on this web site. If you are a victim of violence, you can be represented by Legal Services even if you do not meet their income guidelines. Call or visit the website to learn more about how Legal Services of North Florida may be able to help you with your situation.

THRIFT STORE Refuge House is a private, non-profit social service agency and is always willing to accept donations of gently used household items and clothing. Visit the new Thrift Store for great deals on unique items! The Thrift Store is located at 729 W. Gaines St. (4878859). The profits from the Thrift Store are filtered right back into preserving all of the above services for men, women and children in need.

IN CONCLUSION...

Much of this information is available also on the website, www.refugehouse.com.

There is also a section on the website about donating financial support. The generosity of community members like you is what makes agencies such as Refuge House able to continue providing quality services -- free of charge. If you are in a position to help financially, your support will be much appreciated.

This is a most impressive list of available services. Refuge House, Inc. knows that violence poses a serious threat to lives across the nation. Two to four million women a year are battered and domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women aged 15 to 44. Sexual violence is the most rapidly growing violent crime in America. Over 700,000 women a year, or about 1 woman every 1.3 minutes, are estimated to be victims of sexual violence. Among female victims, 61% are under age 18. In light of these staggering statistics, we are certainly fortunate to have Refuge House on which to rely.

In addition to emergency shelter, there is a transitional housing program that provides opportunities for people who have been in emergency shelter who continue to have safety risks, and other needs. Families and individuals who qualify can stay in transitional housing for up to 2 years.

OUTREACH COUNSELING If you’re dealing with a situation involving domestic or sexual violence, but don’t want or need to stay in the emergency shelter, there are still free services available to you. All eight

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

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Holiday Shopping Resources As you begin your holiday shopping, be sure to visit businesses that support the local economy and community in Tallahassee and the surrounding areas. The Branching Out staff have put together a number of online resources to help you in your holiday shopping quest. While you’re at it, make sure that your favorite business or merchant received high marks in the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index. For more information, visit http://www.hrc.org/ issues/workplace/cei.htm.

TallyLGBTBusinessPartners.com A group of businesses and organizations that are committed to supporting the local LGBT community.

LocallyOwnedTallahassee.com Includes a list of over 100 locally-owned businesses in the Tallahassee area.

VisitTallahassee.com Provides a comprehensive list of local businesses.

Safety Tips for Online Shopping Online shopping is becoming one of the most popular ways to find those perfect gifts you’re looking for. However, online shopping can open the door to computer viruses, spam and phishing attacks that can quickly bring out your inner Scrooge. Here are a few tips to help you stay safe in the online marketplace.

• • • • • • •

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Use your desktop PC, not your mobile device, because your desktop browser is likely to be more secure.

Protect sensitive information by password-protecting both your mobile device and its memory card.

Update your anti-virus and anti-malware programs continually.

Treat social networking sites with the same caution as other websites-they are a growing target for fraudsters and virus writers.

Be cautious of special offers from unfamiliar sites. Fake online offers and coupons may lead to harmful sites, so be suspicious.

Make sure the business is legitimate. Buy only from reputable stores and sellers. If you have doubts, choose another company.

Look for third-party seals of approval. Companies can put these seals on their sites if they abide by a set of rigorous standards— such as how personal information can be used.

BRANCHING OUT

VOICES

Community Stories, Opinions, Happenings, and Ideas.

News, Cues, & Reviews

By Ivan Sondel Branching Out Contributor

Local Theatre: Theatre TCC presents Deathtrap, the gay inclusive play

by Ira Levin.

When: November 19-21 & December 3-5.

Tickets: 850-644-6500 Quincy Music Theatre presents out playwright Tony Kushner’s Tony Award nominated musical Caroline and Change featuring music by Jeanine Tesori).

When: December 4-6, 11-13.

Tickets: 850-875-9444 Leon County Civic Center presents for one night only Avenue Q, a Tony Award winner for Best Musical, Book and Score.

When: December 13.

Tickets: 850-222-0400 Coming Soon: Books: 12/01: Double-Edged Sword: The Many Lives of Hemingway’s Friend, the American Matador Sidney Franklin by Bart Paul 12/08: The Talented Miss Highsmith: The Secret Life and Serious Art of Patricia Highsmith

by Joan Schenker.

DVD: 11/17: Star Trek 12/08: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince; Julie & Julia 12/15: Taking Woodstock.

CD: 11/23: For You Entertainment by Adam Lambert.

Don’t Miss DVD release: Every Little Step: The Journey of “A Chorus Line” (Sony)  A Chorus Line was my first taste of professional musical theatre. Although I had already fallen in love with musicals (at the age of twelve I could sing the entire scores of both Funny Girl and Mame), this was different. Obviously it was a “live” performance, with all the electricity and spontaneity one would expect. However, there was something else, something that spoke to my teenaged heart: there was someone on the stage who was gay – like me. This loving documentary brought all those feeling back for me. If you love musical theatre, musical films or documentaries you shouldn’t miss this DVD. Movie Buzz: Out director Pedro Almodovar’s latest Broken Embraces (starring Penelope Cruz) opens in limited release November 20; A Single Man (directed by Tom Ford) and the musical Nine (directed by Rob Marshall) open in wide release on Christmas day; Opening December 30 in limited release is The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond starring Bryce Dallas Howard, Ann-Margret, Ellen Burstyn and featuring a fifty year old unproduced screenplay

by Tennessee Williams. The film was originally to star Julie Harris under the direction of Eliz Kazan.

Congratulations: Brotherhood, director Nicolo Donato’s a film about the secret gay love affair between a pair of Neo-Nazis, has won the Best Film prize at the Rome Film Festival.

Book Review: I Shudder: And Other Reactions to Life, Death and New Jersey a collection by Paul Rudnick (Harper)  Paul Rudnick is the celebrated writer of novels, plays (Jeffrey), and screenplays (In & Out, Sister Act, Addams Family Values), I Shudder is his first collection. If you enjoy David Sedaris and Dan Savage, you’re going to love this; one of the funniest damn books I’ve ever read.

This isn’t just one of those collections of “funny stories” about my wacky family. Rudnick has had a fabulous career, he knows everyone who’s anyone, and has the supreme talent to report his observations honestly and without cynicism, which doesn’t mean he can’t deliver a sharp barb or bitter jab. Included here are tales of working (whoring) in Hollywood as a screenwriter and script-doctor. He writes lovingly about tyrannical out producer Scott Rudin, Bette Midler and Debbie Reynolds. There is a truly unflattering portrait of egomaniacal actor Nicol Williamson’s crazy antics on stage and off during the run of Rudnick’s I Hate Hamlet. There are fictional (?) diary entries interspersed by the deliciously droll (and homicidal) Elyot Vionnet (which are quite cynical and depraved). Throughout the volume Rudnick harkens back to his New Jersey family. Oh, yes, he is adept at highlighting their many foibles and eccentricities. However, what comes through in generous amounts is the genuine sense of love, and tolerance (if not out right acceptance) they all have for one another.

Rudnick is funny; very funny, and is every bit the raconteur that Sedaris and Savage are. I’ve had a pretty dreadful month (the death of both my father and a close friend), and I Shudder came right at the right moment for me, uplifting my spirits, inducing broad smiles and much, much laughter; just what the doctor prescribed.

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

Book Review: A Life Like Other People’s a memoir by Alan Bennett (Faber and Faber)  These days Alan Bennett is enjoying a well deserved renaissance with a new play The Habit of Art opening this month in London, plus the recent hit play/film The History Boys, novel The Uncommon Reader and Pen/Ackerley Prize winning non-fiction collection Untold Stories remain fresh in our minds. This new volume was lifted in it’s entirety from Untold Stories, and deservedly so. In A Life Like Other People’s the openly gay Bennett tells with great wit and measured sentimentality the story of his parents and maternal aunts.

We are treated to truly inspired reminisces of the author’s earliest and formative years. The story of how his parents met, and their absurd wedding ceremony (or lack there of ), his mothers mental illness, and his father’s all consuming steadfastness.

There is a poignant scene of visiting his mother in an asylum; a harrowing scene of searching for an aunt with Alzheimer’s who’s slipped away from her hospital ward. There are revelations of family secrets, as well as ribald stories of marital misadventure. Finally there is a heartrending scene in a nursing home between mother and son that left this reader gob smacked by the purity of the writing.

This volume (which I ordered from Amazon.UK) is a precious gift of memories and observations, anecdotes and personal judgments harsh, humorous and unabashedly honest.

Passages: 33 year old singing actor Stephen Gatley, front man of Britain’s boy band sensation Boyzone, has died. Gately and the group had four number one albums and seventeen top five singles (in the UK). Gately came out ten years ago and two years entered into a civil union with businessman Andrew Cowles. Gately died of natural causes while on vacation in Majorca.

Ask Margeaux Q: What is “The Transgender Day of Awareness” and on what day is it observed?

A: The Transgender Day of Awareness is being observed this year on Friday, November 20. We will be meeting at 6:00 at The LGBTQ Student Resource Center. There will be a panel discussion on transgender issues followed by a candlelit remembrance ceremony starting at 7:30 at The Integration Statue.

The Transgender Day of Awareness was started to honor the death of Rita Hester. Her death has become the focal point of a movement to raise awareness in our communities of transgender hatred. To this date since 1998 353 deaths have been attributed to transgender hate crimes. How many others haven’t been reported as such is debatable. It is my fervent hope that those of you that read this will join us on November 20th to remember those 353+ people. We are them and they are us!

“Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”

- George Santayana Margeaux Mutz is The Family Tree’s Secretary and Director of Community Relations. In addition, Margeaux leads the Transgender Tallahassee group.

Send your questions to margeaux@familytreecenter.org

Tallahassee Prime Timers A social group for mature men, featuring gatherings, house parties, monthly dinners and weekly happy hours PrimeTimersWW.org/talprime

7

VOICES

Transgenderscope

I swung open the door. The combination of the very warm Florida air and the inside air conditioning collided with my body. It along with shear anticipation sent shivers down my spine. After a few steps I acclimated to the temperature but not my surroundings. I don’t think I have ever seen brighter lights. At least it seemed that way.

I’m sure you’ve seen the movies where a convict tries furtively to escape detection as he makes his way along a darkened prison wall. In an instant his movement is noticed and the spotlights are trained on him. He is spotted and becomes frozen against the dark background. That is what I felt like as I went through that door. I felt as if a spotlight had been turned on and it was pointed at me. Everyone within eyesight had me in their viewfinder. I felt frozen to the spot and naked to the world, which is ironic since the clothes I chose to wear were the reason for my trepidation.

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My feet started moving as if propelled by a force outside myself. I got closer to the door and more glass. I looked on my reflection again. Was I really going to do this?

An unbelievably intense feeling of fear and excitement washed over me. I’m actually breathing heavily as I write this today. I touched the door handle. It was amazingly easy to open considering that I felt as if I had no arms or legs, for that matter body either. Yet my body was there and was the source of my angst. I was going to do this!

Unitarian Universalist Church of Tallahassee

righ

What I was feeling was palpitating fear and utter excitement all rolled into one. Even though I knew not where my planned steps were taking me I knew I had to take them.

I checked my rearview mirror one last time wishing that it was full length or that it had a flashing light that said “You are pretty.” Unfortunately, it didn’t but I got out of my car anyway. I don’t think I have ever been more tuned in. Everything was blown up to maximum imaging. Everything that moved and everything that didn’t. I checked my clothes for the umpteenth time and stared a hole thru my reflection in the car window.

What stared back at me needed to be real! It had to be! The risks were too great. I knew that this was a jumping off point, a point from which I could never return.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009 7:00 PM

Right to live

“Do I have to do this?” said my brain as it talked to itself.

“Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted, the beginning of the end of frustration and longing!”

“Don’t be a wuss, just do it!”

COMMUNITY INTERFAITH SERVICE

I am well

It was 4PM. I pulled into a parking space as steam rose from the pavement after a summer afternoon cloudburst so typical in Florida. What I was setting out to do had my heart racing. Sweat ran like a river down my back even though the a/c was set at its highest setting, this from a person who rarely sweated even when carrying a golf bag for 4 hours in 100 degree summer heat. The bag that sat on the seat next to me was not a golf bag. It was different from any I had ever intended to carry into a public place before.

It went well with what I was wearing but since when did that matter? Well it did now and my concern with appearance was exacerbated by the feeling that there were all too many cars in the mall parking lot. I had planned this at a non peak time so I would feel less intimidated. If this was feeling less intimidated then what would it feel like to have a knife to my throat or a gun to my head.

WORLD’S AIDS DAY 2009

I am getting treatment

Appropriate for our shopping guide issue I have decided to rewrite part of a story that I wrote for a local writer’s contest. No it didn’t win but maybe the rewrite would have.

Ah, dreams aren’t they wonderful. I wouldn’t be living my dream as Margeaux today if I hadn’t kept the dream that is me, all those years. The story is about my first trip to the mall dressed in women’s clothes. I called it “Not Just Any Night at the Mall.” It doesn’t seem like a big deal now but believe me it was then. Those first halting steps followed almost paralyzing fear. Now as I watch others around me go through it I can’t stop from being thrown back into the maelstrom of my former feelings. This short excerpt presents those feelings:

I am safe

o health tt

By Margeaux Mutz Branching Out Staff Writer

I am accepted

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Just like the furtive figure in the movie though, I couldn’t run and hide. I was caught.

Now what? The fear and anticipation I had already felt, now it was time for resignation.

I couldn’t take back my actions. I had to make the best of it. All the hours of thought over the years leading to this moment marched through my head like tickertape. I was prepared to do this. I wanted this and needed to enjoy it because I sensed a new beginning. Pandora’s box was open and the me that was inside exposed for the first time.

It was one of the baby steps that one must take to find true self.

The few people I had confided in about myself had told me to be confident when the time came. ”Hold your head up high, throw your shoulders back, act as if you belong”.

This is the same advice people are given when they unwittingly are placed in dangerous company. Only in my case I was totally conscious of what I was doing. I had placed myself in this position on purpose. I didn’t feel as if my fear was of a physical nature but rather of ridicule. Though as I have come to realize over the years, people like me are very much in physical danger as well.

For people like myself who are 6”2’, throwing your shoulders back and holding your head up high is somewhat unnatural. Most of us are not comfortable doing it. The tall person slump is less obtrusive. It hopefully allows us to slip by unnoticed and at that moment I didn’t want to be noticed. Yet I threw back my shoulders and held my head up high dealing as best I could with an overwhelming feeling of discomfort. I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb!

I did my best imitation of a confident woman striding into her area of expertise--clothing. My ankles didn’t roll in, my back was straight and head held high but the best part of all----no laughs, no stares. So far, so good! Yet I was very aware of the feeling that to this day ten years later, has never completely left me. My antennae were out. I searched for clues in every face and all the action around me. How were people reacting? Especially the men, they scared the hell out of me. Were they shocked? Were they laughing at me?

Did they even notice? I only feel that way occasionally now and it is a human condition but for me until I got comfortable with myself, the feeling was palpable. It makes normal everyday excursions into society almost unbearable. Yet the only way to make discomfort go away is to continue to venture out.

Well, thankfully it has and I have. On that night, I was a man dressed as a woman in a public place for the first time. The inner push that I felt was so great, that fear couldn’t quash it. Ten years later as I write this, I live full time as a woman. What I now fear is not having enough time on this earth to enjoy it!

8

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BRANCHING OUT

WHAT We need your help!

WILL We want you to get involved!

YOU We want to hear your story!

TAKE We want to hear your voice!

PRIDE We want to see your true colors!

IN? Tallahassee

PRIDEFEST 2010

Show Your True Colors April 10-17

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

To find out how you can Show YOUR True Colors, visit:

www.tallahasseepride.com

9

COME OUT TO

-Õ `>Þ]Ê iVi LiÀÊ£ÎÊUÊÇ\Îä« Co-Sponsored By:

Tickets On Sale Now at the Civic Center Box Office, all Ticketmaster Outlets and at www.ticketmaster.com or www.tlccc.org Group & Student Discounts available at the Box Office only.

Charge By Phone: 222-0400 or 1-800-322-3602 AVENUEQONTOUR.COM Original Broadway Cast Recording Available on Masterworks Broadway.

‘AVENUE Q’ HAS NOT BEEN AUTHORIZED OR APPROVED IN ANY MANNER BY THE JIM HENSON COMPANY OR SESAME WORKSHOP, WHICH HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ITS CONTENT.

10

BRANCHING OUT

Leadership Award Winners Honored at NCOD Gayla Members of the Tallahassee community were honored for their work in advancing equality at The Family Tree’s fourth annual Gayla on October 29th. The annual event is hosted in celebration of National Coming Out Day. The awards were presented to individuals and organizations that work to improve the lives of local LGBT people.

Many of this year’s winners, including members of the Leon County Commission, were on hand to accept their awards. Other award recipients included Shani Angela, founder of Mixit Tallahassee; Susan Gage, director of PFLAG Tallahassee; United Church in Tallahassee; Jeff G. Peters, Esq.; Edward Kring; Diana Kampert; Christy Baldwin Photography; Joshua Willoughby; and Jan Sangaree.

Inclusive…Engaging…Informal 9am Contemporary Worship 10am Adult Education 11am Traditional Worship (Children’s Sunday School during services) 5th Sundays are a combined service at 10am 1834 Mahan Dr. 850-878-7385

The Family Tree’s Board of Directors presented the coveted Founder’s Award to Ron Bunting. Bunting was honored for his sustained service to the LGBT community in Tallahassee and the Big Bend region. Aaron Joseph Jewelers sponsored the event. The event raised more than $1,000 in support of the services provided by The Family Tree.

More about this story can be found in this month’s “Co-Chair Corner” on page 13.

www.uctonline.org Check our website for information regarding special services We are an “Open and Affirming” congregation deeply committed to the inclusion of GLBT members Come share your faith with friends in a community filled with a diverse collection of beliefs, politics, and backgrounds committed to social action Come as you are… dressed up or in jeans…with joys or concerns…Or Both!

LGBT Float in FSU Homecoming Parade For the first time in many years, FSU’s Pride Student Union (PSU) - some of you may remember them as the LGBT Student Union - partnered with The Family Tree, to enter a float into this year’s Homecoming Parade, which was held on October 30th. Working under a tight deadline, a spate of volunteers from the PSU and several Family Tree board members, took over Ron Bunting’s yard to build what was said to be one of the best looking floats in the entire parade! The PSU would like to thank Ron Bunting for the use of his tools, his yard, and many hours of his time to see the float come to fruition. Special thanks also go out to Jon Ausman, Aaron Joseph Jewelers, and Florida Developers, Inc. for their generous support.

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

11

OUT & ABOUT

What’s Happening... this month November 19, 2009 6:00 pm – 11:00 pm Mixit Tallahassee Social Mixer Ray’s Steel City Saloon 515 John Knox Road, Tallahassee Admission: $5, 21+ event FMI: www.mixittallahassee.com

November 19, 2009 7:00 pm Coalition of Immokalee Workers Fundraiser Join us for a Special Fundraiser for Coalition of Immokalee Workers to benefit CIW’s new Community Center. Come learn how you can make a difference in peoples’ lives. Jordan Buckley with the Interfaith Action of Southwest Florida will be in town along with farm workers from Immokalee. Find out about the issues and what’s going on right now.

Fermentation Lounge @ All Saints, Tallahassee Tickets: $10, tax-deductible FMI: jpgesq@msn.com November 19, 2009 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm “The Lion in Winter” benefit performance by Tallahassee Little Theatre Performance of “The Lion in Winter” benefits St. Francis Wildlife Association and funds raised will go toward caring for the many sick, injured and orphaned animals rescued each year. Ticket price includes homemade desserts, wine, and other refreshments as well as a silent auction and play.

Tallahassee Little Theatre 1861 Thomasville Road, Tallahassee Tickets: $25 at the door or online (Pre-ordering is suggested. Seating is limited.)

FMI: Barbara Barnett (850)562-4379; www.StFrancisWildlife.org/TLT.html November 20, 2009 Transgender Day of Remembrance Gathering 6:30 pm Panel Discussion on Transgender Issues FSU Pride Student Union Resource Center 7:00 pm Candlelit Remembrance Integration Statue on FSU’s Campus It is a moving experience to remember those who paid a high price for being themselves. At the same time it is uplifting to join hands with others who are committed to creating a world free from discrimination.

FMI: margeaux@familytreecenter.org November 20 – 22, 2009 Friday 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am – 9:00 pm Sunday 12:00 pm – 6:00 pm Big Bend Habitat for Humanity Festival of Trees A community holiday celebration, the Habitat Festival of Trees will feature over 50 stunning Christmas trees and displays decorated by local businesses, interior designers, florists and talented individuals.

General viewing of the trees is Free and Open to the Public. Please visit our website for more information on this event and to become a tree or event sponsor.

Tallahassee-Leon County Civic Center 505 West Pensacola Street, Tallahassee FMI: (850) 574-2288; www.habitally.org November 21, 2009 7:30 pm Eclectic Acoustic: Celebrating 10 years of music and friendship. Benefit Concert (for the Great Rat Leader), after-party and jam. All proceeds will benefit the Mickee Faust Club, a 501©3 not-for-profit arts organization.

Mickee Faust Clubhouse 623 McDonnell Drive in Railroad Square, Tallahassee Tickets: $10 general admission; $5 students, retirees and people with disabilities; available online and at the door.

FMI: (850) 562-RATS; www.mickeefaust.com November 21, 2009 10:00 am – 1:00 pm Gorgeous Goddess Workshop with Jennifer Kandel Do you love those expensive hair and skin products, but hate paying outlandish prices for them?

Experience the magical healing of essential oils customized just for you. Learn how to mix and blend your own all natural, preservative-free hair- and skin-care products using the finest ingredients nature has to offer. You’ll go home with several months’ supply of soaps, facial masks, toner, day-wear lotion, evening creams, body butter, bath salts, shampoo, and conditioner. Indulge your mind, body, and spirit with this mini “re-treat.” But hurry, participation is limited to four women per workshop.

Crystal Connection 1105 Apalachee Pkwy, Tallahassee Cost: $110 FMI: (850) 878-8500; www.crystalconnectiononline.com November 21, 2009 10:00 am – 5:00 pm November 22, 2009 11:00 am – 4:00 pm The Plantation Wildlife Arts Festival With a reputation for providing outstanding hospitality and attracting unparalleled talent, the Plantation Wildlife Arts Festival has become one of America’s premier wildlife and sporting art festivals.

Thomasville Cultural Center 600 East Washington Street, Thomasville, GA FMI: (229) 226-0588; www.pwaf.org/index.php

today for $15. All profits from the sale of the calendar go towards our events and helping us to build and maintain a community of people representing a spectrum of gender identities and sexual orientations.

FMI: www.mixittallahassee.com December 5, 2009 8:00 pm Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra Holiday Magic You and your family will delight in this joyous Tallahassee tradition of festive and heartwarming seasonal music. Marcia Porter, soprano, and a children’s chorus bring special pleasure to the music!

North Florida Baptist Church 3000 N Meridian Rd., Tallahassee Tickets: $35 general public; senior discount (55 & above) are $32; children/students (with a valid student ID) are $12.

FMI: (850) 224-0461; www.tallahasseesymphony.org/ December 5, 2009 10:30 am – 11:30 am; 2:30 pm – 4:15 pm The Nutcracker Ballet December brings a beloved holiday tradition, The Nutcracker. A treasured holiday classic, The Tallahassee Ballet delights audiences of all ages from the moment the curtain rises. Joining Clara on her magical journey to The Kingdom of Sweets, audiences are dazzled by stunning dancing, enchanting sets and costumes. This year’s Nutcracker promises to indulge spectators with special surprises tucked within this classic favorite. There is an abbreviated Children’s Performance that lasts 1hr with no intermission.

Tallahassee-Leon County Civic Center 505 West Pensacola Street, Tallahassee Tickets: Prices vary FMI: (850) 222-0400; www.TallahasseeBallet.org; www.tlccc.org December 5 – 6, 2009 Saturday Dec. 5, 7:30 pm – 9:30 pm Sunday Dec. 6, 2:30 pm – 4:30 pm The Nutcracker, A Diversity Celebration!!!” World Ballet, Inc. Starting off WBI’s season is the timeless story of the “The Nutcracker”. But this production promises to be like no other Nutcracker production you have ever seen. Mr. Hernandez’s original adaptation of this Christmas gathering of friends focuses on the diversity of culture and community. The exotic lands represented in Clara’s dream come to life with Hernadez’s use of a wide eclectic kaleidoscope of international characters, many of whom you will recognize as having come to call Tallahassee “home”.

Lee Hall Auditorium FAMU Campus, Tallahassee Tickets: $25 adult; $20 seniors 55 and over, student with ID; $10 children under 12 FMI: (850) 553-3315; worlddancecenter1@yahoo.com; www.worldballetinc.com December 8, 2009 7:30 pm Twenty-First Annual Handel’s Messiah Sing Along and Scholarship Fundraiser This year we celebrate the 21st annual performance. The Sing-Along provides an opportunity for the community to participate in Handel’s Messiah by singing the choruses. The director, conductors, instrumentalists, and soloists are professional musicians who donate their services. Those who don’t wish to be a singing participant are welcome to attend the event as a listener. Music scores can be rented at the door for $10. Seating areas are designated by Soprano, Alto, Tenor, and Bass, but participants may sit wherever they choose. A reception follows the performance in the church Fellowship Hall where we all gather around the piano to sing carols and enjoy refreshments.

Faith Presbyterian Church North Meridian Road at John Knox Suggested donation at the door is $8 for adults and $4 for students.

FMI: (850) 893-4567; ginnyden@comcast.net; www.tallahasseemusicguild.org December 12, 2009 11:00 am – 2:00 pm Capital City GLBTA Democratic Caucus Community Forum and Conference Includes general business meeting, new media workshop and luncheon, community forum with local and state political leaders and a social mixer.

Tickets: Free to all. Pre-registration requested.

FMI: www.ccglbtdems.org December 12, 2009 7:00 pm Content Under Pressure Swing Band Christmas Sing Along Monticello Opera House 185 W. Washington St., Monticello Tickets: $12 adults; $10 Opera House members; $5 children.

FMI: (850) 997-4242; www.monticellofloridaoperahouse.com December 20, 2009 3:00 pm Tallahassee Youth Orchestra Holiday Concert Leon High School Auditorium Enjoy the cheerful sounds of the season by joining us for our 2nd Annual Holiday Alumni Concert.

At this heartwarming event, the TYO will collaborate with Leon High School’s Capital Singers, led by Judy Arthur, and will also share the stage with many of our alumni. Make plans to stay afterward and enjoy a reception of homemade goodies, too!

Leon High School 550 E. Tennessee St., Tallahassee Tickets: $5 and will be available at tyo.eventbrite.com

November 22, 2009 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm Special Event at the Mockingbird Café – Mark Stuart and Stacey Earle Mockingbird Café 211 NW 1st Street, Havana Reservations: (850) 539-2212 FMI: www.staceyandmark.com December 3, 2009 8:00 pm The Manhattan Transfer Cheryl Bentyne, Janis Siegel, Tim Hauser and Alan Paul. Embracing a broad range of musical styles, this popular vocal quartet continues to enthrall audiences around the world with their Grammy Awardwinning recordings and electrifying live performances.

Thomasville Cultural Center Auditorium 600 block, E. Jackson Street, Thomasville, GA Tickets: $35 general public; $15 students; available online FMI: (229) 226-7404; tef@rose.net; www.tefconcerts.com December 4, 2009 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm Bad To Verse – Bring Your Purse The Mickee Faust Club’s unique literary evening of “Good poetry read badly, and bad poetry read well.”

Always a raucous evening, featuring audience participation and interpretive dancers.

Mickee Faust Clubhouse 623 McDonnell Drive in Railroad Square, Tallahassee FMI: (850) 562-RATS; www.mickeefaust.com December 5, 2009 7:00 pm “She-Calendar” Release Event Ray’s Steel City Saloon 515 John Knox Road Our first edition and much anticipated “SHE CALENDAR” for the year 2010. This edgy yet tasteful wall calendar of dominant women seeks to increase the visibility of women who are generally left out of positive representation; women who emanate female masculinity. Show your support and pre-order

12

BRANCHING OUT

News

from theCenter

Community and Inspiration

By Greta Langley Co-Chair

Attendees of “Steppin’ Out,” our 4th Annual Gayla and Awards Reception were surrounded by leaders and community supporters. Many individuals in the community were recognized for their above and beyond contributions to the LGBT community. This event was in celebration of National Coming Out Day and included a silent auction and great food, catered by our host, Paradigm. October is recognized as the National Coming Out Month in remembrance of Matthew Shepard who was a victim of a hate crime and killed by two men in 1998. This tragic event lead his mother, Judy Shepard, to pursue a hate crime bill, and after ten years of relentless pursuit the bill was passed just a few short weeks ago.

Leaders in the community received various Leadership Awards, which were presented by category: Education, Faith, Community Outreach, Equality, and Business and Government. Susan Gage was the recipient for the Leadership in Education Award. Susan has demonstrated her leadership by forming the local chapter for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). United Church in Tallahassee was recognized with the Leadership in Faith Award. UCT has shown great support of the LGBT community by hosting events and providing an open and affirming congregation. Shani Angela has demonstrated her leadership as the founder of MIXIT Tallahassee, and was the recipient of the Leadership in Community Outreach Award. Jeff Peters was the winner of the Leadership in Business and Government Award, for his exhaustive efforts in pushing for the community’s political voice. Commissioner Bob Rackleff accepted the Leadership in Equality Award on behalf of the Leon County Board of Commissioners.

Other awards were presented to people who have stepped up to be involved in ongoing movements and for overall support of the LGBT Community. Eddie Kring and Diana Kampert were recognized with the Community Pride Award. The two have taken pride in their community and have fought to change and improve the community environment. The LGBT Business Award was presented to Christy Baldwin Photography for her open support of the LGBT Business Community. Josh Willoughby was the recipient of the Pridefest Volunteer of the Year Award. Josh has used his talents as a web designer and sound engineer to help build a successful week of pride events two years in a row. The Family Tree Volunteer of the Year award was given Jan Sangaree, who has demonstrated her devotion by giving generously of her time to help with a multitude of projects. Finally the Founder’s Award was awarded to Ron Bunting who has given his vision and hundreds of hours of service to lead and fight for the improvement of the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons in the Big Bend area.

Special thanks to the people who coordinated the event, Steven Hall, Patrick Patterson, and Andy Janecek, and the event sponsor, Aaron Joseph Jewelers.We appreciate the individuals and businesses who donated items for the successful silent auction. The next Family Tree Center event is the Open House on November 20, 2009. Come to visit, or revisit, the Center and enjoy the social mixer. Several businesses will have booths to display their products and services. Looking forward to seeing you there!

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

Family Tree Board Co-Chairs Jim Van Riper and Greta Langley

LGBT Business Partner of the month

Kim Simpkins

Kim’s Qwik Cleaning & Yard Service How did Kim’s Qwik Cleaning and Yard Service get started?

I started cleaning full-time in 2004 through an ad on the NFLL listserv, with a lovely, busy local, generous artist named Cindy. I saw from this job that I could actually make a pretty good living by doing jobs that I had been helping my lifelong-realtor grandparents do since I could hold a broom. I was earning $20/hour, experiencing instant gratification, and learning and learning how to utilize a natural talent.

That job lasted for about 6 months. Then I have had several contracts in our local LGBT community ever since. I utilize low tech forms of advertising (NFLL, NFL, etc. listservs; word of mouth/referrals; events) and have minimum overhead for now.

What types of services do you provide to the community?

I am still building my business up since I took some time off from housecleaning to pursue other financial endeavors. I have added yard work to my repertoire recently in the name of expanding my business. This includes bagging and raking leaves, scattering pine straw around plants, cutting back shrubs, trimming hedges, edging the yard, etc.

I am always open to people’s requests for various types of home projects. I specialize in move-in/move-out services, pet issues (hair and stain removal, odor neutralization), deep cleaning, event set up. I am also branching out into helping people organize their closets, rooms, and garages this one I have done recently paired with deep cleaning).

Why should our readers choose you?

I have local references from a realtor high school friend, two local artists, a rental property owner, a psychologist/yoga teacher, a recently awarded outstanding volunteer, and a puppy breeder. I am meticulous, reliable, have flexible scheduling, and negotiable rates. I really enjoy what I do--most of the time! *laugh*

Finally, what’s your motivation?

It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it! Why not me? Say you saw my article in Branching Out and get a 10% discount for the holidays and a door prize just for scheduling me before January 1st!

Call today for your free estimate: 980-1231. Thanks everyone for your continued patronage.

I love our LBGT community and the Family Tree/LGBT Business Partners group!

Each month, Branching Out features a member of Tallahassee’s LGBT Business Partners. For more information about the Business Partners, contact Greta Langley at greta@familytreecenter.org.

13

CENTER NEWS

7E HAVE A WIDE SELECTION OF

These are the days.

"IRDSEED "IRD &EEDERS /PTICS .ESTING "OXES "IRDBATHS .ATURE 'IFTS

Open House ‘09

1505-2 Governor’s Square Blvd

6pm November 20, 2009 Family Tree Center

850-576-0002

www.wbu.com/tallahassee

310 Blount Street , Ste 205

Contact Us: Physical address: 310 Blount St., Suite 204, Zip 32301 Mailing address: P.O. Box 38477, Zip 32315 Phone: (850) 222-8555 Email: Staff@FamilyTreeCenter.org www.familytreecenter.org

Programs and groups LGBT Business Partners Diversity of Spirit AA Gender Chat Support and Social Group Youth Group Women’s Chat Group Men’s group

Services

Producer of Tallahassee Pridefest Community meeting space Support and social programs Branching Out Newspaper Resource library Switchboard/referral support Community advocacy and outreach LGBT Speaker’s bureau Free Wireless internet

Mission Statement The Mission of The Family Tree, A lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community center, is to provide services which promote the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals, to work to eliminate the conditions in society which allow homophobia to exist, and to be a place where everyone is welcome.

SPACE USAGE

The Center’s space is here for you to use, and is available on a first-come, first-served basis. If your group is open to others and does not charge money, the space is free.

There are charges for private parties or closed, charge-to-attend meetings. Call (850) 222-8555 to reserve space or for information.

JOIN THE MAILING LIST

Branching Out is mailed free every month to nearly 1,000 recipients. We do not share or sell your information with anyone, and we value your privacy. Please sign up by sending us this form, or update your address information. Mail to P.O. Box 38477, Zip 32315, or call (850) 222-8555 Full Name Street Address/P.O. Box City, State, Zip Code

14

BRANCHING OUT

Recurring Events Coffee Talk Hosted by The Family Tree Wednesdays - 7:00 pm Brew & Bean Coffee Company Corner of Chapel Drive and W. Pensacola Street, across from Mellow Mushroom Prime Timers Happy Hour 6pm+, Wednesdays Ming Tree Restaurant, 1435 East Lafayette Street

CENTER NEWS Diversity of Spirit AA Every Friday evening, 7p.m. A welcoming LGBT group of Alcoholics Anonymous.

At The Family Tree. 310 Blount Street, suite 205.

Tony 681-1891 Weekly Bible Study Every Wed. at 7p.m. at Gentle Shepherd MCC 4738 Thomasville Road. (850) 878-3001.

Lesbian Spiritual Group Every other Monday, 7-9pm.

Marcy or Rebecca, (850) 878-8997

Family Tree Board Meeting Dinner Potluck and Service Second Monday of every month at 5:30 Last Sunday of every month, a potluck at 5:30p.m. and then religious service. Gentle At The Family Tree. 310 Blount Street, suite 205.

Shepherd MCC. 4738 Thomasville Road. (850) 878- 3001.

Gender Chat Second Tuesdays. 7:30p.m. at The Family Tree. 310 Blount Street, suite 205.

Noon Potluck and Service Margeaux.mutz@comcast.net First Sunday of every month, a religious service at 10:45a.m. and potluck at 12p.m.

Gentle Shepherd MCC. Women’s Chat 4738 Thomasville Road. (850) 878- 3001.

Wednesdays, 7-8:30p.m.

At The Family Tree.

LGBT Business Partners First Thursdays, 12noon luncheon Mixit Tallahassee Third Thirsdays, 5:30p.m. - 8:30p.m. social. Locations and times vary.

Third Thursday of every month, a social mixer from 6-11:00p.m. at Ray’s Steel City Saloon Contact Greta@FamilyTreeCenter.org for information about upcoming meetings. (downstairs), 515 John Knox Road. Cover is $5, 21+.

The Family Tree has 10x10 tents available for rental.

Rental Fee: $40 Interested?

Call 850-222-8555 or email staff@familytreecenter.org Board Members Co-Chair - Jim VanRiper, jim@familytreecenter.org

Community Resource Directory Community Organizations •

•

•

•

•

• • •

Co-Chair - Greta Langley, greta@familytreecenter.org Treasurer - Steven Hall, steven@familytreecenter.org Secretary - MargeauxMutz, margeaux@familytreecenter.org Member-at-large - Patrick Patterson, patrick@familytreecenter.org

• • •

Pride Student Union PSU—FSU’s Lesbian/Gay/ Bisexual/Transgender Student Union 850-644-8804, www.fsu.edu/~sga/pride Youth Group A group for youth/teens 850-222-8555 facilitator Jennifer Martinez: jhm06e@fsu.edu Prime Timers A club for mature men over 21 850-877-4479, www.groups.yahoo.com/group/talprime Tallahassee Area Lesbian Moms rainbowshappen@lycos.com Big Bend Cares Support Group, www.bigbendcares.org For HIV-positive members Mondays, 7-8 Diversity of the Spirit AA Meeting (Alcoholics Anonymous), Contact 850-2228555 Healthline 211 (Telephone Counseling and Referral Service) Crisis intervention and referrals 24 hours a day, 850-224-NEED (850-224-6333) Refuge House Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Center, www.refugehouse. com, e-mail refuge.house@tallahassee.net, 24 Hr Hotline: 850-681-2111, LGBT Program: 850-395-7631 Safe Zone Tallahassee, A program designed to identify people who consider themselves to be open to and knowledgeable about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered issues, 850-644-2003 Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), 850-422-3211 North Florida Lesbians Listserve: nfll@yahoogroups.com

Member-at-large - Kay Casey, kay@familytreecenter.org

Religious Support

Member-at-large - Paul Anway, paul@familytreecenter.org

All Saints Catholic Community............................................................................656-3777

Member-at-large/Webmaster - Andy Janecek, andy@familytreecenter.org Member-at-large - VACANT POSITION

Gentle Shepherd Metropolitan Community Church...................................878-3001 Nichiren Buddhism (contact Carol)....................................................................878-8467 Quaker Meeting.......................................................................................................878-3620 St. Catherine of Siena (Catholic)..........................................................................421-0447 Unitarian Universalist Church.............................................................................385-5115

Family Tree Merchandise Available @ gear.familytreecenter.org VOLUME 13, ISSUE 11

St. Stephen Lutheran Church..............................................................................385-2728 United Church..........................................................................................................878-7385

Submit your organization for the resource directory! Email staff@familytreecenter.org or call (850) 222-8555

15

Draggin’ Out The

Lights A Holiday Drag Show

$10 December 12th United Church in Tallahassee 1834 Mahan Drive Doors - 7pm Show - 8pm

www.familytreecenter.org