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EXT. SKATEPARK - DAY Ahead of time, I'd like to apologize to Spike Jonze for semi-ripping off his whole robot thing. Whatever, he doesn't own robots. Mankind owns robots. Also this part has nothing to do with the script, I'm just saying. A robot wearing regular clothes looks on as a group of young kids skateboard on a set of stairs. He is impressed and wants to join in. One of the skaters falls and the board rolls up to a younger kid. CLOSE UP: SKATER #1 ON THE GROUND SKATER #1 Try it out! CLOSE UP: YOUNGER KID. VERY TIMID. Go ahead!
SKATER #1 The younger kid reaches for the board but the robot grabs it first. WIDE: ROBOT AND KID A very awkward pause ensues. Robot looks down at the kid, shrugs his shoulders and begins skating. The skating is shakey but he's doing it. Suddenly he begins charging a run up. It's a stair set, but you can't see how many stairs it is. UNDER THE BOARD SKATING. The robot ollies off of a curb. It's imperative that how many stairs being ollied is not shown. He eats shit. WIDE: THE GROUP OF SKATERS WINCING FROM THE ROBOTS FALL. The first skater walks up to the robot and takes his board back. SKATER #1 (ANGRILY) I thought you were a skater! You lied to me! You're not built for skateboarding at all. WIDE: SKATER WALKING AWAY SKATER #1 (UNDER HIS BREATH) Dick head...
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PERSPECTIVE OF THE ROBOT: The robot begins analyzing the skater as he walks away. He's taking different notes. THE ROBOT WALKS INTO HIS APARTMENT. THE ROBOT IS AT HIS DESK WRITING THINGS DOWN. HE CIRCLES THE PHRASE "TIGHT PANTS" THE ROBOT STANDS IN HIS LIVING ROOM The Robot sticks a vacuum hose into his pants. ROLLING BEHIND LEGS: ON THE FIRST LEG THE PANTS ARE BAGGY, THE VACUUM IS STILL STILL IN HIS PANTS. BY THE TIME THE CAMERA GETS TO HIS SECOND LEG, THE PANTS ARE TIGHT. BACK AT THE SKATEPARK The robot charges the same stair set (which you still can't see the size of). UNDER THE BOARD. The robot eats shit again. ROBOT ON THE GROUND PISSED BACK AT HIS APARTMENT. The robot reaches for a mop head, cuts it off, and wears it as long hair. The robot charges the same stair set (which you still can't see the size of). UNDER THE BOARD. The robot eats shit again. Once again the robot analyzes the skaters. One of which is a total brat. CUT TO THE ROBOT DRIVES IN A CAR INTO THE COUNTRY SIDE TO WHERE HIS "PARENTS" LIVE The robot goes into his house. A time lapse occurs. Suddenly, the robot storms out of the house. ROBOT You'll never understand me mom, skateboarding is my life!
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The robot gets in his car and drives off. The robot parents are left staring as he leaves. ROBOT DAD What's skateboarding? ROBOT MOM I don't know hun. We're just robots. They walk back into the house. CUT TO THE ROBOT AT THE SKATEPARK AGAIN The robot eats shit for a third time. Instead of instantly leaving this time, the robot gets up, goes to the run up, tries again (stair set size still not shown). UNDER THE BOARD. The robot eats shit again, gets up and goes back. He tries to ollie it again. UNDER THE BOARD. This time when he ollies he lands it. CLOSE UP: THE ROBOTS FACE, WHICH IS HAPPY. THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK TEXT: Having long hair, tight pants, and frustration with your parents don't mean you're built for skateboarding. Skateboarding means you're built for skating. CLOSE: ROBOT'S EXCITED FACE YELLING TEXT: So progress. The robot puts his arms up and cheers WIDE: THE ROBOT WITH HIS ARMS IN THE AIR. IT IS REVEALED THAT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO OLLIE OFF OF A CURB. THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK TEXT: One step at a time. CLOSE: Robots face, eventually losing its excitement. WIDE: The robot finally puts his arms down. He looks over and sees a skater ollie a significantly larger set of stairs. He is mortified momentarily, but then gets up and heads over to
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try the set himself. FIN. Written by Brandt Hamilton