Lost In Communication By Brandt Hamilton
Based on: A very frustrating relationship
949-547-7154 brandt.r.hamilton@gmail.com
INT. BEDROOM - MORNING Aerial shot on HANNAH (20s) and KEATON (20s) in bed. Pan away upward slowly. Like the ending to "Crawl Space." Both are naked, but covered in sheets. It is silent as mornings often are. Only natural sound is heard. The room is lit with rays from the morning sun. Both Hannah and Keaton look vulnerable. Is describing two people as vulnerable in bed creepy? I’m not entirely sure. After a few seconds, the title words "Lost Communication" appear on the screen. They disappear after three seconds or so. After the words disappear from the screen, Hannah wakes up and sits up, turning to check her phone. Close on Hannah, who reads a text message on her phone, and tries to quietly exit the bed. As she begins to leave the bed, Keaton’s arm gently grabs her. She snuggles back to bed with him. KEATON (EYES STILL CLOSED) Two months of flirting and you’re just going to disappear in the morning like that? CUT TO A SUPER CUTESY MONTAGE OF THEM GOING ON VARIOUS DATES. NO SOUND FROM THE MONTAGE. THE IMAGES OF THE DATES SHOULD BE INCREASING IN FORMAL NATURES. FROM BASIC COFFEE DATES TO A MORE FORMAL DINNER, ALL CULMINATING WITH A SILHOUETTED IMAGE OF THEM KISSING AT NIGHT AT A PARK. HANNAH (V.O.) You know I want to stay, I’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time. CUT BACK TO HANNAH, WHO IS NOW GETTING DRESSED. HANNAH But my roommate is still drunk and has work in an hour. She said if I don’t come pick her up right now she’s just going to drive herself. KEATON Fucking Kaley. HANNAH Fucking Kaley. Beat. CUT TO KEATON WALKING HANNAH TO THE DOOR.
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2.
We focus tightly on Keaton and Hannah. They open the door, and embrace in a kiss. HANNAH I don’t know exactly what this all means but I’m okay with that. KEATON Let’s just be mature about this. We have chemistry, let’s just take it one day at a time. HANNAH You’re right. There’s no reason to over think this. Let’s just roll with it. They embrace in a hug once again, a brief kiss, then Hannah softly taps him on the chest a couple times and separates. HANNAH Bye! Hannah closes the door and leaves, Keaton sits in self reflection. The camera stops being so tightly focused on Keaton, and reveals his roommate JASON (20s) is sitting in his underwear on the couch in the background and saw everything. JASON Uh oh! Did Keaton the Creaton put his banana in Hannah? Keaton shrugs. JASON You did! Hell yeah you did. Congrats dude. I know you two have just been overloaded with sexual tension the last couple months. God that’s rad. How was the evening? KEATON It was... Awesome. Like the greatest thing ever. We had an amazing night where we were just, you know. Clicking. She just got me, like we were able to quote old Woody Allen movies and not have to guiltily lament over his personal life, and listen to strictly early 2000s music in the car. It just felt right, so I put on my big boy (MORE) (CONTINUED)
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KEATON (cont’d) pants and asked her if she wanted to stay the night and here we are today! JASON Well kick ass man. Long time coming. KEATON Actually no, I mean you know I was just so excited since there was such a build up. I’m not that embarrassed thoughJASON No, what? No. Not like that. I just meant it was "a long time coming" for you two to hook up. KEATON Oh. Beat. JASON How long has it been now? KEATON A couple months here give or take. JASON Don’t play this off so casually, you two have been dropping hints to one another for months now. Her coming over in the wee hours of the night to watch teen dramas with you, even though she hates teen dramas. Your "accidentally" texting her ’Let’s Makeout’ and then quickly texting ’hangout*** sorry autocorrect.’ I’m glad that you’re finally able to be happy man. You’re officially more happy than weird. KEATON Thanks Jason. JASON I mean we all just want to see you happy man.
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KEATON It wasn’t that big of a deal JASON Not that big of a deal? You know your dating history right? Flashback to a super fucked up sex dungeon scene, where a woman has Keaton tied up and being whipped. The room looks like if Mordor had some sort of a whore house. Black leather is garnished by both Keaton and , but the room is an archaic red. Horrid music plays, the kind of shit you’d hear in a satanic church. The LEATHER QUEEN (22) who is abusing Keaton is wearing a mask. LEATHER QUEEN (IN A DEEP DOMINATING VOICE, THE KIND OF VOICE YOU’D IMAGINE BEYONCE WOULD USE ON ANYONE OTHER THAN JAY-Z) Now Keaton, I’m going to give you two pills. One of them is just viagra, the other one is laced with anthrax. Either way, we’re having sex in twenty minutes once the pill you choose kicks in. No doctor will be called in four hours regardless of what effects occur. KEATON This is great, really it is. I’m glad we can be so vulnerable around one another. Even so, I’m a little uncomfortable with something. LEATHER QUEEN Speak when spoken to peasant. KEATON I mean, you are speaking to me... No one else here except for Jason. Quick shot of Jason, who is on the couch reading a magazine, wearing the same underwear he’s wearing in every other scene. LEATHER QUEEN (QUICKLY) Is the belt too tight? KEATON No, no the belt’s fine. What I’m wondering is what this all means?
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LEATHER QUEEN (IN A REGULAR VOICE) What? KEATON Like, are we just friends who occasionally have sex? Are we dating? Are we moving towards going steady? LEATHER QUEEN (TAKING OFF HER MASK) Oh Jesus Christ Keaton. Going steady. You sound like my dad. KEATON (INQUISITIVELY) In this scenario is that like... a good thing? LEATHER QUEEN No. Look, I’m only twenty two years old Keaton. I’m not ready to buckle down into anything right now, we have our whole lives to be in a serious relationship, and the fact that you just asked if we’re "Going steady" on the third date tells me you might not be mature enough to handle an adult relationship... This isn’t middle school, I don’t just want to go out with every guy I have an attraction to... I should go. The Leather Queen walks out without untying Keaton. Cut back to the present. JASON Wait what are you doing? We see that Keaton is on his phone texting KEATON I was just going to text her that I had a good time last night. JASON What? You can’t do that. She’s going to think you’re a serial killer. You gotta play harder to get dude.
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KEATON I mean we just hooked up, she kind of already got me. JASON Girls want what they can’t have. It’s science. Don’t text her first. KEATON We just said how we were going to like... play this maturely though. No mind games. JASON (SARCASTICALLY) Right, I forgot that we live in a world where people DON’T blatantly say things they don’t mean to the people they’re dating. She wants you to not text her first, whether she knows it now or not. KEATON ButJASON No buts Keaton. No buts. Put down the phone. Keaton regrettably puts his phone down, opting not to text Hannah first. CUT TO HANNAH IN HER CAR Hannah’s roommate KALEY (20s) enters the car. Even though she’s getting a ride to her work at the coffee shop, she looks like she’s doing a walk of shame. KALEY (DRUNKISH) Thanks so much Hannah. If I were late to work again I’d probably get fired. HANNAH Oh not a problem at all. I know you’d do the same for me. KALEY I totally would. I totally would. So did you and Keaton... Beat.
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HANNAH Yes! Both Hannah and Kaley become visibly excited. Kaley makes excited hand gestures. HANNAH It was incredible, it felt like, natural for once andKALEY Don’t do that it’s dangerous. It’s revealed that Hannah is texting and driving. She looks down at her phone. HANNAH What? Text and drive? You were going to drive to work drunk if I didn’t pick you up... and now you’re lecturing me on safety? KALEY No not that. Don’t text him, you two just hooked up, make him wait. You don’t want to freak him out and think that you want to date. HANNAH But I do want to date. KALEY (EXCITEDLY) Aw Hannah, cute! KALEY (DROPPING HER EMOTIONAL LEVEL) Don’t let him know that. Guys want what they can’t have. HANNAH We said that we weren’t going to play mind games with one another. KALEY (SARCASTICALLY) Right, I forgot we live in a world where men don’t lie to women. If you want to make things work with this guy, do not let him know it. I mean, remember Chet? Flashback to Hannah surprising CHET (20s) at his work at a novelty T-shirt store.
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HANNAH Hey babe, thought I’d surprise you at work with cookies! Chet looks down at the cookies semi disgusted. CHET Look Hannah I’m only 20, I need some FUCKING space! Chet knocks over the tray of cookies and begins walking outside. HANNAH Where are you going? CHET’S BOSS Chet, where are you going? Your shift isn’t over. Chet is crossing the street to a military recruitment place. CHET The only way I know how to get you two off my ass is this, I’m joining the army! Hannah looks outwardly confused. Cut back to the present. The car rolls up to the coffee shop. Kaley drunkenly stumbles out of the car. KALEY I mean you just come off as clingy at times. Thanks so much Hannah, I’ll see you tonight okay? HANNAH Love you! KALEY Remember, DON’T TEXT HIM! Just go home, distract yourself in whatever way you see fit. Cut to Hannah entering her house. Cut to a split screen of both Hannah and Keaton simultaneously entering their respective rooms. Think the therapy scene from "Annie Hall."
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KEATON I don’t have to text her, she’ll probably text me first. She probably already has texted me! HANNAH Alright Hanz, no reason to stress, I bet he’s already texted me. Both simultaneously check their phones. They see the other one did not text them yet. And disappointedly, they both put their phones in their pockets. Beat. They check their phones again and become even more frustrated. HANNAH I don’t get it I thought everything went fine! KEATON I bet it was because of my endurance. I should have just thought about something sad to last longer! HANNAH I’m being ridiculous it’s only been like an hour... Has it really been that long already? KEATON I just need to take my mind off of it. KEATON (VO) If you read fifteen pages of that book, by the time you finish she’ll have texted you back. The split screen slides over to only show Keaton’s perspective. It’s revealed that a duplicate of himself, dressed in very neat clothing, is in the room with him. Keaton looks up at this alternate version of himself, who is dressed to a T. Obsessive compulsively neat. He picks up the book and begins reading. The split screen returns to reveal that Hannah is organizing her entire closet. She checks her phone again.
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10.
HANNAH (V.O.) You know you probably pissed him off by leaving early. Hannah’s perspective becomes full screen. Hannah looks up and sees an alternate version of herself. The alternate is a little grungier, smoking a cigarette. HANNAH Fucking Kaley GRUNGY HANNAH (Throwing her hands in the air frustratedly) Fucking Kaley! We cut back to Keaton’s perspective. He is now with two different versions of himself. One is the obsessive compulsive version of himself from before, the other is an old timey romantic type. Maybe even make him in black and white if that’s possible. Either that or a french version of himself. ROMANTIC KEATON Go to her now, and tell her you love her. KEATON No. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE KEATON Read ten more pages. KEATON Your idea didn’t work last time! OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE KEATON Maybe you did it wrong. Are you sure you read every single word? Keaton rolls his eyes frustratedly, groans and begins flipping back pages and starting over. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE KEATON That’s what I thought, start over, and this time don’t skip a word! CUT BACK TO HANNAH’S PERSPECTIVE Hannah has two versions of herself in the room with her as well- The grungy one from before, and one that looks like she’s on the verge of tears.
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SAD MANIC HANNAH He’s probably with someone else! GRUNGY HANNAH If he is he’s such a dick. Here’s an Alanis Morisette CD. It really spoke to me when my boyfriend cheated. Grunge Hannah hands the CD to normal Hannah. Normal Hannah is on the ground and takes the CD confused. HANNAH It’s been like 47 minutes! We show Grungy Hannah and Sad Manic Hannah again. Sad Manic Hannah keeps hitting herself in the head. A third Hannah, this one dressed as a fortune teller, walks out. FORTUNE TELLER HANNAH With technology the way it is today, a guy like Keaton could definitely find a new girl in 47 minutes. Cut back to Keaton’s perspective, which is covered in other versions of Keaton all talking to him. KEATON I can’t hear myself think! Cut back to Hannah’s persepctive, which is covered in other versions of herself trying to give advice. HANNAH I can’t do this, I’m going to go get coffee. Wait, where’s my wallet? CUT BACK TO KEATON Keaton, surrounded by even more versions of himself, sees Hannah’s wallet on the ground. All his alternate versions go silent. CUT BACK TO SPLIT SCREEN HANNAH/KEATON Well now I have to text him/her! They both rush to pull out their phones and begin texting each other simultaneously
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ALL ALTERNATES What are you saying to them? KEATON Oh wait, she’s already texting me first! I can see she’s typing here. HANNAH Oh he’s already texting me first! Perfect! They both stop texting and stare at their phones impatiently. All the alternates are on the edge of their seats. HANNAH/KEATON They’re probably just writing a long message. Both sit patiently staring at their phones. FADE TO BLACK. FIN.