Talon 09-10 Qtr. 4

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College Choices 2010 6HDWWOH 3DFLÀF 8 Erin Pearce

U. of Colorado Harris Slinkard

South East Missouri State Andy Lennington U. of Missouri Jane Carter

DePauw University Jillian Balser Centre College Cody Nelson

Gordon College Victoria Petway Naval Academy Prep Josh Tate Point Park U. Faith Kelm

Clemson Kelly Morin Furman U. David Creasy U. of Georgia Alicia Adlerz Emily Stow Georgia Tech Kirk Gerrald Samantha Wilson Berry College Molly Johnson

Harding University Allie Adams Baylor University Jordan Sherman

UT-Knoxville Allyson Baggott Jeffrey Bechtel Loyola U. Zach Bell Ole Miss Brooke McFarland Auburn U. Claire Brandon Ansley Bartlett Evan Brown Maggie Brian Grace Bishop Luara Burgin Connor Broadbent Esther Buck Brock Collier Lucas Brooks Katie Evatt Grace Davis Daly Cantrell Kelsey Faulkner Davis Denney Evers Miller Nathaniel Kidd Zack Ellis Andrew Knestrick Mississippi State Ana Evans Matthew LePere Kendall Reily Samford U. Jay Ford Jay Luna Zach Brown Erin Grimson Josh Magruder Virginia Bain Burkhart Jack Johnson Michael Orme Macy Conger Caitlin Kennedy U. of Alabama Adair Osman Mack Lambert Huntsville Scott Simpson Robbie Liles Cody Newsom Spencer Smith Katey McBride U. of Alabama Katherine Wright Meg McGegor U. of South Alabama Katherine Kirkland Catherine Meehan Libby Lewis Warner Young Chandler Parks Birmingham-Southern Abby Powell College Beau Powell Robby Ker Davis Priester Madeline Thomas Ryan Ray James Reynolds Ben Smallwood Mary Julia Tunnell Matt West

Congratulations Class of 2010

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Belmont U. Peter Blankenship Clyde Boswell Marc Burris Matt Crook Alex Logan Kelsie Patton Elle Prior Lauren Rogers

University of Florida Kaitlyn Burrichter

Tennessee Tech Wesley Sherrill

O’More School of Design Sarah Keaggy Milligan College Carson Torbert Lipscomb Nashville State Will Blalock Maggie Webb 0LWFKHOO :HVWHUÀHOG Tennessee State U. Ishmael Lewis UT-Chattanooga Mary Gower Olivia Holladay Savannah Langen Vanderbilt U. Kristin Adams Paul Clymer Lindsey Rowe Rhodes College Grace Hicks

TALON TA TA LLOONN Brentwood Academy

Pretty people at prom )YLU[^VVK (JHKLT`

TA L O N

Co-Editors-in-Chief Erin Grimson

Third Quarter 2009-2010 Volume 39 Issue 4

Lauren Rogers Lindsey Rowe

Layout and Design Editors Harris Slinkard

The Talon is a quarterly publication produced by students at Brentwood Academy.

Photo Editor

Member of the Tennessee High School Press Association

Alicia Adlerz

Erin Grimson

Comments and suggestions are welcome. talon@brentwoodacademy.com

P

by Forbes B. Smallwood

rom is an event of great tradition and grandeur. However, there is another aspect of this special event that is commonly overlooked—fashion. Indeed, folks, while the limo rides and dinner reservations are enjoyable, the bright colored dresses and clean-cut tuxes take priority. Not all of prom attire is impressive, but most everyone makes an extra effort to look sharp. This year’s prom was no exception. Here are several of the outÀWV WKDW PDGH D ODVWLQJ LPSUHVVLRQ

Sarah Keaggy

Clyde Boswell

The unconventional look seemed a hit this year. Clyde Boswell stunned the crowd, dressed LQ DQ ,WDOLDQ FXW VXLW 7 VKLUW DQG Ă LS Ă RSV 7KRXJK WKLV sounds somewhat informal, the slicked back hair and FKDUP RI &O\GH KLPVHOI PRUH WKDQ MXVWLĂ€HG WKH ORRN ,I only he had worn the crown as well.

Staff Writers Peter Blankenship

219 Granny White Pike Brentwood, TN 37027

Zach Brown Laura Burgin Hayley Buskee Jane Carter

On the cover: Faith Kelm, Erin Grimson, and Laura Burgin, three of BA’s seven senior dancers take the stage for the last time, using all the skill the dance program has imparted to them.

Davis Denney Evan Ford Sarah Keaggy Olivia Meers

Who wore it best? You decide.

Every year there are several dresses that make a reappearance. Though rarely on the same person, these play-it-again gowns make an easy prom experience for the second hand user. I commend this economical route and think it should be more widely considered. However, one cannot help comparing the alum who originally wore the dress with the upper classman who adorned it secondly.

Luke Newman Taylor Norton Forbes B. Smallwood Jordan Sherman Samantha Wilson

Sponsor Barry Robbins

The Talon editors have come a long way from their awkward middle school days.

1

14

,I \RX¡UH *UHHN :LQGH[ Ă€[HV everything; if your Sarah Keaggy, then duct tape is the remedy of choice. This year, Sarah decided to design her own dress and produce it entirely out of duct tape. Unconventional? Yes, but it was very successful. Though she might be the only person who could pull off a duct tape dress, she did so with grace and elegance. My top pick for prom 2010 is the duct tape masterpiece of Sarah Keaggy, and the class of 2010 agreed, as Sarah was voted Prom Queen.

Shoes

Every year there are certain styles that stand out as a theme among the different dresses (a tux doesn’t change much annually). The one sleeve dress seemed to be a hit (with its asymmetrical revelation), as did the laced-up-back dress. The shoes of prom are usually as unique as the dresses themselves, but this year there was one shoe that appeared more often: Toms. At least we can rest assured that for every pair at prom in Franklin there was one pair delivered to Africa.

Academy Singers C ontrary to popular belief, barns aren’t made to hold animals or really to have anything to do with animals. No, barns are in fact meant to host elite groups of high school singers. The Loveless Barn is one of very few barns that gets this right. Many have experienced the country style cooking and dining of the Loveless CafÊ, but not everyone has had the chance to perform in their barn. The Loveless Barn is one of the hottest music venues in Nashville these days, and the Brentwood Academy Singers got the chance to grace its stage. Those who attended the show described the Loveless as comfortable, welcoming, easy going, and perfect for a night of entertainment. The show’s lineup included an array of styles such as country, jazz, folk, gospel, and contemporary. As a performer, I thought that it was much easier to get the crowd involved in such a familiar setting. The audience responded to our songs and choreography in a way that made their energy easy to feed off. We would go back stage and do a little victory dance in between the songs because we were genuinely psyched to be performing. It was really easy to have fun

on stage and not be focused on the nerves that naturally come with performing. Many people commented afterward that it looked like so much fun that they wanted to join us. The overall experience was rewarding, thank goodness, because a lot of work was put into it. The Academy Singers, as a group, put in long hours of hard practice to make the show happen. I’m sure some people think that all you have to do is stand up on a stage and sing the right notes. What they do not know is that there is a lot of mind-strangling work that goes into singing in perfect pitch, rhythm, and harmony. The Loveless Barn is proof that GHOD\HG JUDWLÀFDWLRQ does exist and is worth working for.

China Mission Trip

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IWHU D GD\ RI à \LQJ WKLUWHHQ KRXUV WLPH difference, and traveling half way around the world, weary BA students stepped off the plane and into the distant land of China. There was no Mulan type scenery or tiny men in funny rice hats walking around. The land of China is smog-covered, yet beautiful, causing each one of us who attended this trip to fall in love. We got to experience more of this place than the average tourist ever will because no tourist is ever going to sleep in a large tent called a Yurt (much loved by Sarah Keaggy) while it’s snowing outside. No tourist will ever get the same joy out of playing with Chinese orphans or feel the guilt of leaving them for the next destination, no matter how hard they hold you GRZQ WR WKH à RRU This is not to say that there were no classic tourism moments. One day we spent six hours of shopping and bargaining in the markets. Vendors would scream at us and pull our hair or grab us and not let go until we bought one of their goods or had a strong friend wrench

by Jane Carter

by Olivia Meers

us free from their grasp. Ms. Franzke, who is an exceptional bargainer, had to buy a new suitcase (at a great SULFH MXVW WR Ă€W KHU QHZ PHUFKDQGLVH LQ 5REE\ .HU EHcame quite the spectacle in China as he began to pick up the language. He drew bigger and bigger crowds unWLO WKHUH ZHUH Ă€IW\ PHQ ZDWFKLQJ XV HDW )UHQFK IULHV LQ WKH WUDLQ VWDWLRQ , PXVW VD\ WKDW KDYLQJ VRPHRQH Ă€OP me choking on a fry with their camera phone was a tad scary, but just one of the many surreral experiences China had to offer. Maria’s Big House of Hope sponsored by Show Hope (who led the mission trip) was by far the most impressive and impressionistic place we visited. There are URRPV DQG URRPV RQ PDQ\ Ă RRUV Ă€OOHG ZLWK EDELHV ZKR have nothing but smiles on their faces. Whether it’s a baby that has a cleft palate, Down syndrome, or cannot use its legs, they know nothing but how to love. Every one of our lives changed for the better on this trip. China may be seven thousand miles away, but it will always have a place in each of our hearts. ĺ†?č§

13

Dear Underclassmen,

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s grizzled members of the Seven Year Club, we have decided to impart our wisdom to younger students to help them survive each year of life at BA.

6th grade-

'RQ¡W ´JR WRJHWKHU¾³ 0UV 'REELQV ZLOO Ă€QG out. 2. Keep your red checking pencil. 3. Don’t worry; you won’t always look like this.

7th grade-

1. Don’t make fun of a boy’s voice changing; he may later on become attractive. 2. Thank Emily Stow for not being allowed to go to Blue Hole. 3. Don’t worry; the Oak Hill kids are cool.

8th grade-

<RX PD\ EH VLWWLQJ LQ Ă€UVW FODVV QRZ EXW remember next year you’ll be sitting in coach. 2. Wear sunscreen at the Florida trip. $VN &RDFK % WR VD\ ´DFWLRQ Ă€JXUH Âľ

9th grade-

1. Middle School is over. You made it! 2. Your date to a dance is not your life partner. 3. Side hugs only.

10th grade-

1. Don’t wait until the last night to do your journals. 2. Congratulations, you can drive! 3. Get your license before you get a car.

11th grade-

1. Buy cases of Redbull. You’ll need it. 2. Be in dress code, or you will suffer. 3. Junior year is as bad as everyone says.

12th grade-

1. Invest in a best friend charm for your college counselor. 2. College = money. Lots of money. 3. Senior slide is a slide into a pool of happiness.

2

Youth in government

by Laura Burgin

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ach year, some 1600 students from across Tennessee convene in Downtown Nashville for the weekend to simulate the state’s government, WDNLQJ WKH SODFH RI RXU UHDO JRYHUQPHQW RIÀFLDOV 2YHU the weekend of March 26-28, Brentwood Academy representatives were senators, house members, press FRUSV RIÀFHUV DQG HYHQ WKH *RYHUQRU 7KH FRQIHUHQFH itself was exciting and rewarding, but it could not have been so if not for the work put in as preparation. Nearly two months before the conference, Barbara Stewart, the fearless advisor who has led the BA delegation for years, was hospitalized after shattering her femur. Needless to say, she was in no condition to be working with a hundred lively high school students, so the work fell on the shoulders of a few dedicated seniors. Governor Ryan Ray served as advisor and had the responsibility of making sure that each student attending was fully prepared. Thanks to Governor Ray DQG RWKHU VHQLRU RIÀFHUV VXFK DV -DFN -RKQVRQ 3DXO Clymer, Zach Brown, and Emily Stow, the conference was able to run in a fashion that would have made even Mrs. Stewart proud. The weekend was not, however, free from drama.

In the midst of passing laws, conference dances, and HYHQ DXFWLRQLQJ RII RIÀFHUV WKH %$ GHOHJDWHV RQFH DJDLQ found themselves adult-less when our stand-in advisor, the illustrious Coach Compton, was unable to remain for the duration of the weekend. But with the help of a few willing faculty members and even some BA Youth Legislature alumni, the show went on. It is no doubt that the weekend was a great success. We got the greatest gift of all that Friday night when a special guest showed up to the Governor’s Ball. Not even a shattered femur could keep Barbara Stewart away from Youth in Government, and, I must say, she was the belle of the ball! Apart from having a good time and learning about legislature, the Brentwood Academy students made quite a showing. This summer, Brentwood $FDGHP\ ZLOO VHQG ÀYH GHOHJDWHV DQG IRXU DOWHUQDWHV to Black Mountain, North Carolina for the Conference on National Affairs. Brentwood Academy also will have WHQ RIÀFHUV VHUYLQJ DW WKH <RXWK LQ *RYHUQPHQW Conference. Last but certainly not least, congratulations to Taylor Norton for being elected governor of the 2011 conference. We know you’ll lead this state well, Governor Norton!

3

Keaggy’s Kartoon Korner

by Sarah Keaggy

by Hayley Buske

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illy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is a place every kid wishes he or she could visit. Sadly, LW¡V RQO\ UHDO ZLWKLQ &KDUOLH %XFNHW¡V Ă€FWLRQDO ZRUOG 7KH Ă€UVW WLPH , VDZ WKH PRYLH ZKHQ , ZDV DERXW six years old, I think I dreamed about the chocolate river and the rainbow colored room of edible candy plants for weeks on end. I never imagined that I could be so awed by such a fantastic display of sweets and treats again, but that was before I walked into Sweet Cece’s of downtown Franklin. I’ve lived in Franklin for fourteen years, so when a quaint, frozen yogurt place popped up on the street corner across from Starbucks, I stopped by to disprove the myth of frozen yogurt being more delicious than ice cream. As soon as I stepped through the door I was struck by the ambience of the place. Everywhere I looked I saw bright pinks, greens, and blues that instantly made me smile. As everything from the slop-

ing tin roof structure overhanging the counter to the silver, gazebo-style chairs began to register in my brain, I realized that it looked like an old-fashioned candy shop. Then I saw the countless dispensers of a candy, the fresh WRSSLQJV FRXQWHU DQG WKH PDQ\ GLIIHUHQW Ă DYRUV RI IURzen yogurt. I was in love with Sweet Cece’s before I WULHG P\ Ă€UVW ELWH ZKLFK VXUSDVVHG DOO P\ H[SHFWDtions for frozen yogurt. )ROORZLQJ P\ Ă€UVW YLVLW WR 6ZHHW &HFH¡V , KDYH become a regular costumer. Although it can be D OLWWOH RYHUZKHOPLQJ ZLWK Ă DYRUV UDQJLQJ from Red Velvet Cake to Snicker doodle and toppings that include anything a person could ever think about putting on their frozen yogurt, it is a place I’d recommend to anyone. Even though I was skeptical of the concept of frozen yogurt from the start, and I thought Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory was the supreme candy haven, I’ve learned, as the popular saying goes, “to expect the unexpected.â€?

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Two Door Cinema Club T he Editors of Talon told me to write about She and Him. But I say, “NO!â€? First, they already know all about that record and are thoroughly convinced it’s all that. So I’m determined to enlighten you about the greatest band since the Beatles. Not really. But seriously. Finding Two Door Cinema Club is like accidentally tripping over a rock DQG ODQGLQJ LQ D Ă€HOG PDGH RI 0DUVKmallow Peeps. It’s perfect, but only happens once (darn you dreams!). This band is as obscure as you can get in America. As I’m writing this, they have only one song on iTunes. But on April 23rd, these guys are going to be next to two electro giants—Passion Pit

and Phoenix—and they are going to OWN THEM!!! These kids mesh the perfect blend of 18-year-old heartthrob lyrics with really kicking (pun intended) upbeat 808 drums. Songs like “Something Good Can Workâ€? and “What You Wantâ€? are literally the best songs to pass by my eardrums since Justin Timberlake brought sexy back. This isn’t a review. This is a warning. Get on the TDCC train, ‘cause it’s leaving the station. Sadly, they’re only really available in the UK, and by my sneaky means, I have gotten my hands RQ WKHLU UHFRUGV 6R Ă€UVW WU\ WR OLVWHQ WR a bit on Hypem.com or Lala.com. Then, come see me and I’ll hook you up. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Music Review

Ke$ha A

by Evan Ford

s the new year came, we listeners became adGLFWV ZLWKRXW RXU ODWHVW Ă€[ /DG\ *DJD ZKHW our appetites with her ridiculously catchy electro-powered girl pop and we needed more. Out of nowhere, a Brentwood girl went from a struggling nobody to a radio must with “Tik Tok.â€? And, let’s be honest, that song is so good, that it causes car accidents, due to belting girls and dancing dweebs. So, when “Animalâ€? broke in January, skeptics and fans lined up to see if this music newbie could live up to the super-hype she had been getting. Truly, this 14-track is a perfect 5050. Half of the tracks are just laughably bad. I’m not even going to waste typing energy talking about tracks 3, 4, 8, 9, and 10. The last three songs on the record are completely unnecessary and leave a bad taste in my mouth. All she succeeds in doing during these overly foul, gimmicky songs is sounding like an intoxicated Avril Lavigne. Really, Ke$ha, show some class. But the rest of the record was more than enough

WR PDNH PH IRUJHW WKH IHZ Ă DW VRQJV 1RZ ,¡OO JLYH D disclaimer: if you’re looking for wholesome lyrics and something to sing you to sleep, this is NOT the record for you. But I’m not. It’s almost summertime and I want to boom something out of my car with the windows down. Tracks like “Tik Tok,â€? “Your Love is My Drug,â€? and “Blah Blah Blahâ€? hook you in with their melodic choruses. Then “Stephenâ€? and “Hungoverâ€? are surprisingly great slow(er) electro-ballads that hit exactly right. Finally, the fun “Dinosaurâ€? had me dancing till I couldn’t breathe. And then it made me laugh. Ke$ha hurts. Bad. Truth be told, you probably already have “Tik Tok.â€? If you don’t, turn on the radio and you’ll hear it, as well as “Your Love Is My Drug,â€? sometime in the next hour. So don’t EX\ WKH UHFRUG %XW \RX VKRXOG GHĂ€nitely download “Dinosaur.â€? “Stephenâ€? and “Hungoverâ€? are maybes. Oh, and be sure to check out Redlight’s remix of “Blah Blah Blah.â€? It makes an already good thing great.

11

Hold


 the


 Nukes by Taylor Norton

E

ver since 1945, when two American nuclear weapons claimed the lives of more than 700,000 Japanese, the developed countries of the world have been clamoring not only to get their hands on nukes, but also to have more of them than their neighbors. This arms race has changed in numerous ways since the development of nuclear warheads, but it will soon change in a way that is both bold and unexpected. In stories like Ray Bradbury’s There Will Come Soft Rains, and movies like War Games and Dr. Strangelove, the prospect of a global nuclear holocaust has been anticipated, studied, and speculated upon extensively. President Obama’s goal for his new nuclear policy is to dispel those fears and speculations once and for all, in a longterm campaign for “a nuclear-free world.â€? In Czechoslovakia, Obama will sign an agreement with Russia to mutually downsize nuclear weapon stockpiles by about a third. Stating that “The greatest threat to U.S. and global security is no longer a nuclear exchange between nations, but nuclear terrorism by violent extremists and nuclear proliferation,â€? Obama now plans to rely on good old conventional tactics to defend America (“conventionalâ€? refers to all weapons and tactics that do not involve chemical, biological, or nuclear strikes). According to an April 6th article by CNN, the main goal of this policy is to rein in global nuclear powers under the guidelines set by the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty of 1968, which limited the number of warheads countries were supposed to have. Additionally, the U.S. has pledged to refrain from attacking non-nuclear countries with nuclear weapons, to cease nuclear testing, to limit the number of warheads placed in each missile, and to reduce our warhead stockpile from 5,200 bombs to 1,550. However, WKH 2EDPD DGPLQLVWUDWLRQ KDV FODULĂ€HG WKDW ZH ZLOO VWLOO

retain the right and option of using our remaining nuclear capabilities if deemed necessary to vital American interests, i.e. homeland security. He hopes that this will lead other countries to slowly abandon their nuclear stockpiles as well, for a safer, nuke-free world. In the Middle East, however, nuclear capability is JURZLQJ $ KLJK UDQNLQJ ,UDQLDQ RIÀFLDO KDV GHIHFWHG WR the U.S. and tipped off the government regarding Iranian-funded moves by North Korea to build up Syria’s nuclear capability. The North Koreans had been shipping materials vital to nuclear missile construction into Syria since 2002. Also, Ahmedinejad, Iran’s president, has been less than transparent with U.S. and U.N. investigators concerned about the growing Iranian interest in nuclear capabilities. This leak of information sheds more light on a 2007 Israeli airstrike which knocked out the new Al Kibar nuclear reactor in Syria. AfWHU WKH UDLG 6\ULDQ RIÀFLDOV FODLPHG WKDW the target was merely an unused military building. President Obama’s intentions could possibly mean the beginning of the end of nuclear proliferation. First, however, countries like North Korea and Iran must also get on board; and so far they have given little indication that their nuclear activities will slow anytime soon. This raises the question: Will we be leaders in the abolition of nuclear stockpiles? Or will we simply become vulnerable to an armed and dangerous nuclear world? Only time will tell; for now, we can only work and hope for international understanding and cooperation.

4

Soccer

by Evan Ford

T

he story of this year’s boys soccer team can’t be read in their record, their roster, or even the pages of Talon. It’s a story that can be heard in the halls and shows in the squad’s faces at grueling practices. It can be seen in bruises being mended and heard in the pops and groans of sore players the day after a game. It’s been a tough year. For the dedicated players, it all started ten months ago at the legendary Ralph Lundy’s soccer camp. For a week in Georgia last summer, it was practice, eat, and sleep soccer (and the last two were just so you could still play soccer). When the school year started, the team separated, with some conditioning and others playing their own sports. But after Christmas break, the team got back together and worked as a team, with good leadership as well as eager young talent. As the WHDP¡V FRQĂ€GHQFH DQG FKHPLVWU\ JUHZ GXULQJ WKHLU YHU\ successful off-season, hopes were high and momentum

was higher. But the season didn’t exactly go according to plan. InMXULHV KLW HYHQ EHIRUH WKH ÀUVW JDPH ZLWK VHQLRU $QGUHZ Knestrick out after the last preseason game. Others followed his example—David Creasy not at 100% for most of the season, Ben Boatwright’s collarbone troubles, and the season-ending hip injury that crippled both Ohan Missirian-Dill and the team. Despite these setbacks, the team tightened their FOHDWV DQG VWHHOHG WKHPVHOYHV WR ÀQLVK WKH VHDVRQ VWURQJ Two months into the season, they were already the most successful boys team in BA history, winning two games over tough regional opponents. Thanks to the help of stellar subs off the bench and dedication from players and fans, Coach Johnson and the squad can enter evHU\ JDPH QRW RQO\ ZLWK KRSH EXW DOVR FRQÀGHQFH LQ WKH way they’ve played. It’s been a tough year. But these are tough guys.

Keeping it PG

Y

by Jordan Sherman

engaged. It just seemed like the most appropriate place to celebrate as a family. And we had a BLAST!

ou may know her as the yoga teacher, the teacher with the coveted heater in her room, or that liberal at the end of the senior hall. But to the majority of the senior class (and a few select juniors), she’s an English teacher, a storyteller, and, sometimes, just one of the kids. She’s Ms. Lovell...but not for long. It all started four years ago when some random football coach, a.k.a. Phillip Montgomery, came to get a player out of her English class. Neither of them thought anything of that exchange, and little did they know that they were in for an exciting future together.

Jordan: So the engagement.... Ms. Lovell: Yeahh. Just imagine Coach Montgomery in a tux and me in a huge sweatshirt and my yoga braids on the 50-yard line of Carlton Flatt Field, with my whole entire family watching us from the balcony. It was so good. Jordan: What are your nicknames for each other? Ms. Lovell: Well I call him Coach, and he calls me PG- Phillip’s Girl.

-RUGDQ VWDUWLQJ RII EROGO\ 6RRR ÀUVW GDWH 'LVK Ms. Lovell (laughing): Well...we planned on eating dinner at Carrabba’s, but, surprise, we talked through it DQG HQGHG XS HDWLQJ DW &KLN ÀO D

Jordan: What’s your favorite thing about “Coach?� Ms. Lovell: Just one? Uhh, that he always does what he says he’s going to. But I also love the way his face crinkles up when he talks on the phone. Or the way he says “Heyyy� every time I call him. Also, I love that we pray together every day.

Jordan: How long does it take you to get ready for a date? Ms. Lovell: Oh, I get ready SO much faster than he does. But don’t tell him I told you that! Usually around 45 minutes or so.

Jordan: So what’s the most important thing in your relationship? Ms. Lovell: Oh, we both realize that God is the most important thing.

Jordan: What’s the weirdest, most random date you two have gone on? Ms. Lovell: We went to Chuck-E-Cheese after we got

5

Cake M

by Peter Blankenship

y peers, there is a debate raging, one that has been ongoing for three years between my friends and me. The question: is a cookie-cake a cookie or a cake? My opponent will lead you to believe that there is an undeniable difference between the two, but I am here to say “nay� and to rebuke his negligent abuse of ignorance. According to the Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary a cookie is “a small sweet cake.� I could end my argument there and say that the cookie-cake is a cake, but I want to carry the torch further. Mr. Brown says that the common man agrees with him. Truth? Not at all. I was present during his “poll� and I am shocked to say that he has committed a terrible statistical mistake. His polling strategy consisted of asking people who were around him. He took part in

convenience sampling, an error that, as AP Statistics has WDXJKW PH PHDQV KLV Ă€QGLQJV FDQQRW EH DSSOLHG WR DQ entire population. Regardless, there is an aspect of this debate that has been ignored. If a cookie is a cake, then all cookies are cakes, but not all cakes are cookies. This gives the argument a new spin. Another possible reason for the confusion is that different people have varying ideas FRQFHUQLQJ WKH GHĂ€QLWLRQ RI D FRRNLH %XW QR PDWWHU how many word associations go through your head, the GHĂ€QLWLRQ LV ZKDW LW LV ´&RRNLH FDNH Âľ WKH DFWXDO ZRUG VKRXOG DOVR VKHG OLJKW RQ LWV GHĂ€QLWLRQ &RRNLH LV WKH adjective that describes the cake. What kind of cake? A cookie cake. It’s simple: A cookie cake is a cake. It’s in the books.

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only do the people working at the highest producing cookie cake company agree, but so does the BA populous. In a recent poll of 55 students and teachers, 50 saw the blinding light and said that cookie cake was a cookie. Only 5 ignoramuses refused to acknowledge the truth. The general public does not lie. Furthermore, a cookie cake is baked more like a cookie than a cake. According to the esteemed baker at the Opry Mills Great American Cookies, the process is a bit different and a different ingredient is used in the cookie cake in order to cook the huge cookie all the way through, especially in the center. “On the whole though, it is cooked like a cookie.â€? Recipes on the internet even FDOO IRU WKH XVH RI FRRNLH GRXJK 7KH Ă€QDO SURGXFW LV the sum of its parts. If those parts are the makings of FRRNLHV WKHQ WKH Ă€QDO SURGXFW LV D FRRNLH To refute my opponent’s claim that the dictionary says that cookies are cakes: Oxford English Dictionary, the best and most trusted dictionary in the world, states that a cookie is “a sweet biscuit.â€? Going to the dictionary does not help your cause, my friend. , Ă€QG LW DPD]LQJ WKDW WKLV DUJXPHQW KDV SRSSHG XS more than once over the past three years here at BA. Hopefully, this will settle the score.

CoCookie okie-Cake: Is it a Cookie or a Cake? hat does a cookie cake look like? A cookie. What does a cookie cake taste like? A cookie. What does a cookie cake smell like? A cookie. The age-old question “Is a Cookie Cake a cookie or a cake?� is easy to answer. It is a big cookie with icing on top. There is confusion because Great American Cookies decided that a clever alliterative food item would drum up their business. They were right. Great American Cookies started from humble beginnings in 1977 with a line of cookies and brownies. They then expanded, literally, to Cookie Cakes. Their hope still remains to make the best cookie around. GAC’s mission statement is: “Share the Fun of Cookies.� Forgive me if I am not seeing something, but I did not see the word “cake� in that mission statement. Furthermore, this investigative reporter did not only rely on the dictionary and faulty logic as sources. I called both the Cool Springs Galleria and the Opry Mills Great American Cookie locations. Upon being asked the highly debated question, both locations responded that a cookie cake is, indeed, a cookie. Frankly, after that deathblow, I doubt I need to say more, but I will for the sake of healthy argument. Not

by Zach Brown

10

Spring Retreat 2010

by Luke Newman

K_\ 8n]lc Kilk_

by Davis Denney

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n the eve before Jerry and Lucy Warriner’s diYRUFH SDSHUV EHFRPH Ă€QDO /XF\ ,UHQH 'XQQH shows up at Jerry’s (Cary Grant) apartment. Contrary to many modern romantic comedy plot lines, she’s not there to make up. She’s there to tell him her plans to marry the simple oil man she had previously tried to rid herself of in favor of Jerry. Jerry is also engaged, to a high society woman of New York City. The confrontation ends with Lucy calling for a car to take her to her date. The moment she sets the phone down, it ULQJV DJDLQ /XF\ DQVZHUV LW LW¡V -HUU\¡V QHZ Ă€DQFHH 7KH ensuing scene in which Jerry fumbles for an excuse on the phone while Lucy mutters under her breath is comedy at its smartest. It’s unrushed, unforced, and, most importantly, it isn’t self conscious. The Awful Truth, released in 1937, is the story of a

suspicious husband and wife who suspect each other RI LQÀGHOLWLHV WKDW QHYHU RFFXUUHG OHDGLQJ WKHP WR DQ XQQHFHVVDU\ GLYRUFH 7KH ÀOP WDNHV SODFH LQ WKH GD\V that the court has allotted before the divorce papers EHFRPH ÀQDO 7KLV KLODULRXV VFUHZEDOO FRPHG\ ÀQGV LWV FKDUDFWHUV ÀJKWLQJ RYHU 0U 6PLWK WKHLU EHORYHG GRJ PDNLQJ the other jealous by bumping into each other at NY hot VSRWV ZLWK GDWHV DQG ÀQDOO\ FRQWUDU\ WR WKHLU SUHYLRXV intentions, attempting to make-up. From the moment Irene Dunne walks on screen in KHU RYHUEORZQ ZKLWH IXU FRDW WR D ÀWIXOO\ KLODULRXV scene involving a top hat, to a ridiculous cuckoo clock, I found myself constantly tickled and bemused. This crisp ninety minutes of smart and effortless comedy is satisfying in every respect.

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he last show of Guys and Dolls was a bittersweet experience for many seniors in the musical. However, with a cast of 55 students, the show itself was full of pizazz, outrageous vocal talent, former Broadway star Ryan Hubbard, and Brock Collier doing the tango. Fearlessly, this talented array of actors put on a show that ranged from missionaries to Hot Box girls, from gamblers to Havana dancers. Its leaders, Foldham and Fowlkes, as well as the fearless Count Shepula, gave the cast the energy it needed to surpass the mediocre into the professional.

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onfused thoughts rushed through my mind when we learned that the BA Spring Retreat would be held on campus this year. While we had no doubt that the event would be completely enjoyable, some did wonder if it could live up to the aweVRPHQHVV RI \HDUV SDVW 6R ZKHQ :HGQHVGD\ ÀQDOO\ rolled around, the Upper School students lathered up with sunscreen (well, the smart ones anyway) and went outside, not knowing what to expect. Hymns of worship started off the day as the Upper 6FKRRO FRQYHUJHG RQ WKH SUDFWLFH ÀHOG 1H[W 0U Brown, BA’s former headmaster and founder of the school, participated in a round-table style discussion with some BA alumni, giving the large tent a homey atmosphere. Discussions ranged from how the school has changed over the years to Mr. Brown’s childhood to milking cows. Later, a trivia game was played over the information we’d just heard to determine which grade ZRXOG JR WR OXQFK ÀUVW ZKLFK ZDV ZRQ E\ WKH VHQLRUV (yell of hurrah). After that, the activities began. The student’s biggest concern about the change in location was that there would be nothing to do. We needn’t have worried, for within minutes of leaving the tent, the familiar little pockets of students, marking

the presence of interesting activities, popped up all RYHU FDPSXV 7KHVH LQFOXGHG LQĂ DWDEOH ZDWHU VOLGHV hacky sack, Ultimate Frisbee, ashka (you know, the game where you try to stomp on other people’s feet), and an ongoing war between various students wielding water pistols and grenades—I mean water balloons. The “Battle at BAâ€? soaked many valiant soldiers and innocent bystanders, making their clothes perpetually soggy. A plethora of other activities were able to be enjoyed at Field Day, not the least of which being the dodge ball tournament, which BA was practically forced to include. Not surprisingly, the seniors won (hoot of joy). After a day of roaming freely over the campus and VWXIĂ€QJ RXU LQWHVWLQHV ZLWK EDUEHFXH WKH VWXGHQWV OHIW their multitude of activities and returned to the tent, where there were more worship hymns and an inspired sermon by Mr. Masters (which included a bow and arrow). The day ended with everyone battling to get to the ice cream trucks, a surprise treat that made everyone happy. But by far the biggest surprise, to me at least, was that this year’s Spring Retreat (a.k.a. Field Day) was just as good as, if not better, than, last year’s Spring Retreat. Which leaves me wondering‌what’s going to happen next year?

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by Lauren Rogers

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2010 SENIOR

Allie Adams- Most likely to walk Kristin Adams- Most likely to not be dependable Alicia Adlerz- Most likely to steal Jake from Vienna Allyson Baggott- Most likely to drive a Buick Jillian Balser- Most likely to tell you that Flipper drowned himself willfully out of despair Ansley Bartlett- Most likely to punch you in the face Jeffrey Bechtel- Most likely to have a growth spurt Zach Bell- Most likely to be in Maybelline commercials Grace Bishop- Most likely to marry the Bonus Jonas Will Blalock- Most likely to be on “Dancing With the Stars” Peter Blankenship- Most likely to be buried in D SLDQR VKDSHG FRIÀQ Clyde Boswell- Most likely to major in calligraphy Claire Brandon- Most likely to shop at Goodwill Maggie Brian- Most likely to be a krump dancer Connor Broadbent- Most likely to take a vow of silence Evan Brown- Most likely to be Mr. Shwartz Esther Buck- Most likely to play the alma mater on the harp at our 10-year reunion Laura Burgin- Most likely to marry a dictator and then plan a rebellion to take his place Virginia Bain Burkhart- Most likely to marry an NBA star Kaitlyn Burrichter- Most likely to not care Marc Burris- Most likely to make millions from something useless and live off the royalties Daly Cantrell- Most likely to intern at Vogue Jane Carter- Most likely to become a devout atheist Paul Clymer- Most likely to not be Billie Jean’s 7

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lover Brock Collier- Most likely to be on a Spanish soap opera Macy Conger- Most likely to get back with John Mark Vanderpool David Creasy- Most likely to write a dictionary of the Bro Language Matt Crook- Most likely to be a drummer in Selena Gomez’s band Grace Davis- Most likely to be a Republican Davis Denney- Most likely to have school spirit Zach Ellis- 0RVW OLNHO\ WR ÀQG ´=DFK·V *LUOµ sooner than he expected Ana Evans- Most likely to challenge Barbara Stewart in a history trivia match Katie Evatt- Most likely to be pale Kelsey Faulkner- Most likely to do her homework Jay Ford- Most likely to drive a Chevy Kirk Gerald- Most likely to need a calculator Jack Golden- Most likely to exist Mary Gower- 0RVW OLNHO\ WR QDPH KHU ÀUVW FKLOG Gary Mower Erin Grimson- Most likely to be “Canada’s Next Top Model” Grace Hicks- Most likely to play the violin at 70 percent of her friends’ weddings Olivia Holliday- Most likely to keep the same name for a year Jack Johnson- Most likely to conduct the next Watergate Scandal Molly Johnson- Most likely to marry Ryan Ray Sarah Keaggy- Most likely to make her wedding dress out of trash bags and aluminum foil Faith Kelm- Most likely to come to school Caitlin Kennedy-Most likely to become a body builder Robby Ker- Most likely to return from college with a fake French accent Nathaniel Kidd- Most likely to be the coolest kid in school Katherine Kirkland- Most likely to travel to

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SUPERLATIVES i

space and be Xenon Girl of the 21st Century Andrew Knestrick- Most likely to replace Mr. Hickman Mack Lambert- Most likely to be in the Sophomore Hall Savannah Langen- Most likely to be in dress code Andy Lennington- Most likely to be an animal rights activist Matthew LePere- Most likely to take something seriously Ishmael Lewis- Most likely to fast Libby Lewis- Most likely to be Pocahontas Robbie Liles- Most likely to be an “honorary bro” Alex Logan- Most likely to predict the end of Lost Jay Luna- Most likely to join a ballet class to be with a ballerina Josh Magruder- Most likely to make the Foo Dogs an NBA team Katie McBride- Most likely to not get a date to a school function Meg McGregor- Most likely to join a gang Catherine Meehan- Most likely to get married on a horse Evers Miller- Most likely to apply to more than one college Kelly Morin- Most likely to discover the cure for cancer Cody Nelson- Most likely to name his mullet Cody Newsom- Most likely to dye his hair pink for graduation Michael Orme- Most likely to caddy for Tiger Woods Adair Osman- Most likely to feel awkward Chandler Parks- Most likely to plan BA pep rallies while still in college Kelsie Patton- Most likely to be a trophy wife Erin Pearce- Most likely to litter Victoria Petway- Most likely to eat her own placenta Abby Powell- Most likely to live on the Upper

East Side Beau Powell- Most likely to ask for an open note quiz, then realize he didn’t take any notes Davis Preister- Most likely to be a stay at home dad Elle Prior- Most likely to be apathetic Ryan Ray- Most likely to live in the North with wife Molly Johnson Kendall Reily- Most likely to be in The Fast and the Furious: Brentwood Drift James Reynolds- Most likely to be a horse whisperer Lauren Rogers- Most likely to quit college and live with hippies in the woods Lindsey Rowe- Most likely to party hard in college and end up unemployed Jordan Sherman- Most likely to be the maid of honor in Ms. Lovell’s wedding Wesley Sherrill- Most likely to be asked to move everyone’s furniture in the dorms Scott Simpson- Most likely to be mistaken for a Prada model Harris Slinkard- Most likely to marry Shaun White Benjamin Smallwood- Most likely to be the next Sham Wow guy Spencer Smith- Most likely to be in the Junior hall Emily Stow- Most likely to be the face of J. Crew Josh Tate- Most likely to KDYH IUHVK ÁRZHUV LQ his dorm at Naval Academy Prep School Madeline Thomas- Most likely to work at a tanning bed Carson Torbert- Most likely to speak German Mary Julia Tunnell- Most likely to make a pilgrimage to Hobbiton in New Zealand Maggie Webb- Most likely to be a cat lady 0LWFKHOO :HVWHUÀHOG Most likely to wear a polo shirt and khakis outside of BA Samantha Wilson- Most likely to listen to classical music Katherine Wright- Most likely to be wrong 8

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