The Pulse 17.06 » February 6, 2020

VOLUME 17, ISSUE 6 | FEBRUARY 6, 2020

2 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

BREWER MEDIA GROUP President & Publisher James Brewer, Sr. THE PULSE Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Jessie Gantt-Temple

Contents

VOLUME 17, ISSUE 6 • FEBRUARY 6, 2020

6

SOUTHBOUND COMES TO TOWN

10

REFLECTIONS GALLERY EXPANDS

14

COUNTRY STARS COME HOME

Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Art Director Kelly Lockhart Editorial Interns Halley Andrews Lindsey Clute Senior VP of Sales Lisa Yockey-Rice lisay@brewermediagroup.com Office 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse Founded 2003

by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2020 by Brewer Media.

All rights reserved.

If someone asked you to come up with a mental picture of the South, it’d probably be pretty easy; I mean, we live in the South. However, if you really think about it, the South is an incredibly diverse place. There are the mountains of Tennessee and North Carolina, the hustle and bustle of Atlanta, the bayous of Louisiana, and so much more.

Despite having a music scene that often gets national mention, the ever-expanding arts scene in Chattanooga is another aspect of the Scenic City keeping it in the coastto-coast spotlight. Much like the local musicians that are tapping into untamed and raw talent somehow, the local visual artists are doing the exact same thing,

There’s no such thing as “professional jealousy” in music.

Oh, jealousy abounds to be sure but there’s nothing professional about it, and the musicians that know their worth eschew that sort of pettiness, leaving it to the small-minded, thin-skinned, fragile egos who wouldn’t know what to do with success if someone handed it to them on a silver platter.

4 CONSIDER THIS

12 ARTS CALENDAR

19 JONESIN' CROSSWORD

4 CITY LIFE

16 MUSIC CALENDAR

20 FILM & TELEVISION

5 EDITOONS

18 MUSIC REVIEWS

21 NEW IN THEATERS

9 SHRINK RAP

19 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

22 ON THE BEAT

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 3

CITY LIFE · BETWEEN THE BRIDGES

Cons ider This w ith Dr. Rick “Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name.

If you don’t understand, you can’t love.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh has been teaching mindfulness practice for over 70 years, and has written over 80 books on relationships, love, meditation, peace, prayer and much more.

In speaking about love and relationships, he teaches that the Sanskrit word for compassion is “karuna.” However, karuna goes far beyond merely sharing a loved one’s suffering or hardship as a way of showing compassion. Karuna is the capacity to remove, transform, and help heal the suffering.

He goes on to say, “When you love someone, develop the capacity to help him suffer less. This is an art. Just as a doctor cannot help to heal your illness unless she understands its cause, you must understand the roots of your loved one’s suffering in order to help bring relief.”

Ahh, lovely.

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

There Is Help Right Here Bringing comforts of home to the homeless

F

OUNDED BY EDUCATORS AND FRIENDS ANN-MARIE FITZSIMMONS AND Niki Keck in May 2019, Help Right Here is picking up speed within their first year as a “mobile homeless outreach who will help deliver survival support and career assistance where its most needed.”

By Jessie Gantt-Temple Pulse contributor

“

We are intent and content to go to them; to forge relationships and instill in them that we see them as members of our community.”

4 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Receiving their official 501(c)3 status just months later, these two warrior women have also gathered funds by volunteering at Ironman, hosting an art fundraiser at WanderLinger, and who knows what they’re capable of in the remaining months of their first year?!

Both working at CSAS, Ann-Marie as a middle and high school librarian and Niki as an English/Journalism/Theatre teacher, the ladies work more than fulltime but have no problem pursing their fulltime passion of helping the homeless. Partnered with the Homeless Healthcare Center, a finalist for Causeway’s Changemaker of the Year 2019 and nominated for the Call To Action by the Red Cross, Help Right Here is definitely making things better quickly…on wheels.

“Through a friend, we found a bus, one with solar panels, covered in prayer flags. We then worked with Causeway who helped us focus our goals and now we have the bus,” said Niki exclaiming how important the vehicle was to the operation. “We aren’t asking people [the homeless] to come see us; we are intent and content to go to them; to forge relationships and instill in them that we see them as members of our community, not as unimportant problems to merely be dealt with.”

Their hope is that by offering these services to the most vulnerable citizens, empathy for and engagement with them will evolve from other sectors of the population.

“Meeting them where they are, with our bus, will alleviate some of

EDITOONS

this stress. We will be a traveling storage unit and office that will provide clothing, tents, tarps, food and fuel, as well as offer GED services, teach resume writing and interview skills onsite.”

To put a face to the story of homelessness, a twelve-minute short “A Drop In The Bucket”, was created by AnnMarie and Niki along with several of their students and was featured in the Tennessee Filmmakers Short section at last year’s Chattanooga Film Festival.

It is still accessible from HRH’s Facebook page and website. According to the short, Chattanooga has the seventh fastest increasing rent rates in the nation and that, along with the closing of several low-income facilities, is creating a phenomenal spike in the amount of homeless people.

Ann-Marie said, “As long as rents soar and gentrification continues to happen in town, the homeless population will continue to increase. Chattanooga needs to figure out affordable housing and stop building condos all over the place.”

When asked about volunteering,

they said they never have a problem with bringing in people to help out.

They currently need help building shelves and figuring out how to install a shower on the outside of the bus so showers can be provided by summer. They also always need donations of non-perishable food, clothes and camping gear.

“We also need financial contributions as we take on more,” said AnnMarie. “Right now, we need to get a better driver’s seat for the bus before we really start taking her on the road.

Currently, the driver’s seat is a recliner! No lie. We’re two tiny women.

There’s no way we can drive that big bus in a Lazy Boy.” They are considering hosting a fundraiser for folks to watch as the ladies learn how to drive the bus. I would definitely pay to see that but in the meantime, figure out how you can help them Help Right Here and act on it. Contact helprightherechattanooga@gmail.com about volunteering or to make a monetary donation, you can do so through PayPal using the same email.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 5

COVER STORY

Southbound Comes To Town An expansive photographic look at our neighbors and ourselves

By Addie Whitlow Pulse contributor

“

The ‘Southbound’ project explores the idea of how the South is an incredibly flux region, meaning that it’s constantly changing and evolving”

I

F SOMEONE ASKED YOU TO COME UP WITH A MENTAL PICTURE OF THE South, it’d probably be pretty easy; I mean, we live in the South. However, if you really think about it, the South is an incredibly diverse place. There are the mountains of Tennessee and North Carolina, the hustle and bustle of Atlanta, the bayous of Louisiana, the Mississippi deltas, and so much more in the states between.

Thinking even further, the South has changed substantially over the years, especially since the turn of the 21st century. The Hunter Museum will be showcasing the New South since the year 2000 in their newest photography exhibit, titled “Southbound: Photographs of and about the New South”.

“Southbound: Photographs of and about the New South” is a series of 550 photographs, taken by 56 photographers, of the South in the 21st century. The project is actually the largest exhibition of photographs of the American South in the 21st century.

The “Southbound” project explores the idea of how the South is an incredibly flux region, meaning that

6 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

it’s constantly changing and evolving, but also how the South is rooted in tradition while letting its past shine through what it is today. It began at the College of Charleston, where it was co-curated by Mark Sloan, Director and Chief Curator of the Halsey Institute of Contemporary Art, and Mark Long, professor of political science.

“Southbound” opened last week and will be on display through April 26th. Natalie Mead, Associate Curator at the Hunter Museum, is also the curator on record for this exhibition meaning that she was responsible for figuring out where the photos would be hung, what kind of materials would be used for

the labels and text panels, how the photos would flow through the rest of the space, and more.

“The exhibition itself is part of a much larger kind of scale project. The overall project is called ‘Southbound Projects’. The exhibition is ‘Southbound: Photographs of and about the New South’.

So the exhibition was organized by the Halsey Institute in Charleston, and they’ve been working on this show for I think it has to be like five years, and it’s traveling to different venues. We were one of the venues that looked at the show, and we decided that it would work well for our audience,” Mead explained. “And so we are, for the exhibition, kind of tweaking it a little bit so that it fits, both kind of logistically fits within our space, and because it’s such a large exhibition, so that it fits the kind of audience that comes into the museum.”

Mead also explained that the “Southbound” exhibition will be in the Hunter’s temporary exhibition space. Out of the 550 total photographs, the museum has received 220 of them. The photographs are all varying sizes; there are two foot by three foot photographs, six inch by six inch photographs, and sizes both larger and smaller. In order to maximize space while also equally showcasing the photographs, there will be 165 of the 220 photos on display.

“When another organization organizes the show [for the ‘Southbound’ project], it’s a little bit like playing a game of Tetris to figure out what fits

“

It’s an exhibition presenting the New South and what that means, especially for a place like Chattanooga, which is on the cusp of so much new.” within, but it just fit really well in our space. And we like the idea that it’s not an exhibition presenting the South. It’s not an exhibition presenting the American South. It’s an exhibition presenting the New South and what that means, especially for a place like Chattanooga, which is on the cusp of so much new,” said Mead.

An aspect of the exhibition that’s particularly interesting is the way in which many of the photos appear as if they’re capturing unplanned moments of the New South, such as a group of children splashing in an above-ground pool on a hot (and probably humid) summer day, a diner wall adorned with stuffed deer heads, a man masked by the aisles of clothing in a thrift store, powerline towers lined by a river of orange construction fencing, and so much more.

Mead explained that one of the goals of the “Southbound” exhibition at the Hunter is for people to relate the photos back to their own personal feelings of the South and what the South means to them. Additionally, the Hunter Museum is encouraging anyone and everyone to take their own photo of the South, upload it to social media, and tag it with @HunterMuseum and #MySouthbound.

The Hunter will also be hosting a variety of programming related to the “Southbound” exhibition, such as a Southern cooking demonstration by a Blue Orleans chef, speeches by several “Southbound” project photographers, a family fun day, an artful meditation, and more.

“I personally think you’re going to walk into the exhibition having a series of questions related to what the South is. And I think you’re going to leave with different questions. The organizers of the exhibition, they really want to present that the South is a place in flux. So if you’re trying to present a place in flux, a place that’s always changing, you know, it gets a little bit hard to nail it down and be like, the South is exactly this thing,” Mead explained. “I do hope that it broadens people’s understanding of the South and makes people wonder what the next ten or twenty years are going to bring.”

And, because it’s not easy to nail down exactly what the South is, the photos span across large regions of the diverse South. Photos included in the “Southbound” project reach as far south as

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 7

COVER STORY

the Gulf Coast of Louisiana, as far west as Arkansas, as far north as West Virginia, as far east as the Carolina coast. There will also be photos of Atlanta, Georgia, the Black Belt in Alabama, and everything in between.

Mead also explained that the Hunter will be organizing the photographs via category; specifically, the photos will be grouped into one of four categories: Glimpses Into Communities, the Environment, Autobiographical/Personal, and Coming to Terms with the Past. Within each category, there are issues that are specific to just the South and issues that are specific to humankind and society as a whole.

Mead said there will be two series of interactive cluster maps available on iPads to support the exhibition so that visitors to the museum can actually interact with the parts of the South they’re seeing in photograph.

“One of the maps is organized by the ‘Southbound’ project, and they took a series of census results and all sorts of other demographics and government status demographics, and you can play with this map and see how, geographically, that changes what the South is based upon different terms, even stereotypes, like the word ‘magnolia’ or how many churches there are. One is even chickens per capita, so there’s kind of a humorous idea [behind the maps],” Mead said.

One of the other key ideas behind the “Southbound” project is the way in which the South is a

“

The ‘Southbound’ project sheds light on modern viewpoints which allow people to make sense of the culture, history, and geography of the South.” place infused with stereotypes and preconceived notions and ideas about how it’s supposed to be.

However, the South is a vastly different place than those stereotypes and preconceived notions make it out to be. The “Southbound” project sheds light on modern viewpoints which allow people to make sense of the culture, history, and geography of the South and how that history has both influenced and changed who and what the South is today in the 21st century.

“The project just has this really, really great theme.

And it’s approaching a lot of things that I think our community is concerned with, like history in the past and things related to immigration, race, religion, music, food, environment. And, again, it’s just sort of looking at the South as a whole, but some of these things are specific to Chattanooga as well,”

8 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Mead said.

While it would be impossible to capture the breadth of exactly what the South is in a series of even 550 photographs, the “Southbound” project strives to give a multifaceted view of different aspects of the New South. The project shows moments in the modern-day history of the New South and, with those captured moments, the project sheds light on the different cultures and traditions and ways of life that make the South what it is. Those moments also show not only where the South has come from but where the South is going too.

The Hunter Museum’s exhibition of “Southbound: Photographs of and about the New South” opened Friday, January 31st, and will be on display until April 26th, 2020. In addition to the variety of programming related to the exhibition, the social media push, and the interactive maps, there are also many supporting resources on the “Southbound” project’s website, southboundproject.org, that explain even more about the project and its inspiration.

The “Southbound” project is a truly unique project that showcases diversity and defies stereotypes about the South to show a place that is steeped in tradition but also constantly changing.

If you want to learn more about the variety of life found in the South and how the South is such a vastly different place from region to region, then you definitely don’t want to miss the exhibition at the Hunter Museum of American Art.

COLUMN · SHRINK RAP

Love Yourself Without Losing Yourself Become a complete individual to become a better couple

I Dr. Rick

Pulse columnist

“

Whether flying solo or with a significant other, time and energy spent thinking, journaling, and talking about the health of this time in your life is never energy wasted.”

Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com

T’S CHOCOLATE, FLOWERS, TICKETS to the theater and romantic-getaway month, the month that has us paying at least some attention to that mischievous muse, Cupid. With St. Valentine’s Day being right around the corner, it’s perhaps a perfect time to discuss how to keep your relationship not only healthy but thriving. A relationship in which you desire longevity, and even more importantly, longevity with happiness.

Maybe you’re married with kids, doing the family thing. Or maybe you’re on the doorstep of a new love, enjoying the butterflies and the half-full-glass outlook on life. Maybe the kids have gone on with diverse adventures and the nest is empty.

Or perhaps something in between all that.

If you can relate to any of the above, then I encourage you and your partner to pause and reflect on the quality of your relationship (your “happiness quotient”), and where there is room for healthy/passionate/affirming improvement. Try to observe, as if with a third eye, the direction your union is taking, the satisfaction of being together, and the safety—or “guardianship”—of your important moments, both big and small.

Let’s acknowledge, however, that many people are not in a committed relationship, either by circumstance or choice.

Nor does everyone wish to be in such a relationship. I often tell my patients there are certain issues which you can best address and process when you’re single, without the distractions of a relationship.

And certain other issues that require the context of a significant union in order to work on them, to practice and hone your skills. For this reason, whether flying solo or with a significant other, time and energy spent thinking, journaling, and talking about the health of this time in

your life is never energy wasted.

If we take the view that one of the most precious forms of love is all about union—finding your soulmate and nurturing that commitment—then a valuable question enters the picture, one most of us confront from time to time: How do we maintain our individuality and autonomy within that merging?

I invite you to spend time with the following perspectives. Ponder, meditate, write and talk about these then observe what happens to the quality of your life.

1. Be willing to show up fully with all of yourself. If you start holding back, then your relationship might be “safe,” but holding back can also kill passion, creativity and spontaneity. If you want these qualities in your relationship, cultivate the courage to feel everything, even the difficult stuff, while being kind and nonshaming with each other.

2. Identify and honor your own needs.

If you can identify your wants and your needs—as well as create room for your partner to do the same—then together you can grow in a safe and empathic space. Loving communication is the goal.

3. Think of your relationship not like a stagnant object, but like an evolving practice—such as yoga or going to

the gym—and realize that some days are much harder than others. You go through cycles, you slowly improve…it’s a process. Even with stumblings and setbacks, it’s important to feel that you’re growing together.

4. Realize that you don’t have all the answers. You have your experience of the world, and your partner has theirs. You have your own perspectives and opinions. If you’re more interested in learning each other’s viewpoints than in winning, you will create greater and greater intimacy.

5. I invite you to ask yourselves the following: Do we believe that putting our relationship first is the best way to care for everyone else? Do we believe in shared authority, so that we may create a safe and creative space in decision-making throughout life’s challenges? Do we believe in protecting each other, not only with strength but also with compassion?

This St. Valentine’s I wish you all the happiness, passion, creativity and understanding (and all the chocolate and romantic getaways) you want for your own relationships.

Until next time, from “How to Love” by Thich Nhat Hanh: “Every one of us is trying to find our true home. Our true home is inside, but it’s also in our loved ones.”

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 9

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

A Gathering Of Artists On The Southside Reflections Gallery relocates and expands Taking On Family Dysfunction “Take Five”, UTC’s beloved series is back and this semester is tackling the always relevant theme of family dysfunction. Spearheaded by Dr. Aaron Shaheen, “Take Five” is a series of presentations on five literary works, after which a panel of five current and former faculty members—whose specialties range everywhere from Shakespeare to modern medicine—answer questions and facilitate audience discussion.

Dr. Shaheen shares his enthusiasm for this event, “Take Five is a way to give back to the community, to show that learning takes place in all corridors of campus and for all people who call Chattanooga home.” And this communal atmosphere is exactly what is created.

This month’s event begins with a talk by Dr. Andrew McCarthy on Keith Gessen’s “A Terrible Country”. “I’m thrilled to speak on two of my great loves: hockey and literature,” McCarthy states.

Don’t have time to read the novel? No worries! A brief synopsis is given at the beginning of each talk so that you can follow along and take part in the discussion.

“Take Five” puts you in touch with other lifelong learners in the community and provides stimulating academic discussions within a comfortable, casual environment.

The series, which starts at 6 p.m. in the Chattanooga Room of UTC’s University Center, is free and open to everyone, and you’ll receive not only a time of thought-provoking conversation, but also a light dinner.

— Halley Andrews

By Adam Beckett Pulse contributor

“

Chattanooga area artists of all types have been consistently demonstrating seemingly super human abilities to create art.”

10 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

D

ESPITE HAVING A MUSIC SCENE THAT OFTEN GETS national mention, the ever-expanding arts scene in Chattanooga is another aspect of the Scenic City keeping it in the coast-to-coast spotlight.

Much like the local musicians that are tapping into untamed and raw talent somehow, the local visual artists are doing the exact same thing, only their instruments do not play music that other people can hear with their ears.

While creating by using whatever medium they are working with, perhaps the local artists do hear music from within while their paintbrush strikes the canvas or when the stain glass creation they are working on begins to take artistic form, but the people gazing at their works of art are certainly able to tap into a taste of the various artists’ “inner-sound” as well.

Local artists are able to touch the lives of people the same way music does, only in a different kind of way, if that makes sense.

Chattanooga area artists of all types have been consistently demonstrating seemingly super human abilities to create art. There must be something in the water, or could it be the natural vibes that fill the city mixed with the endless views that help artists thrive and feed off of each other?

Not everybody is a natural and certainly artists do not become talented just by luck. People are often groomed, lead, and taught by other artists so they can reach their full po-

tential. There are many outlets around town that aim to inspire and teach humans how to tap into the dormant artist inside of them. Today we will focus of the Southside’s own Reflections Gallery and Studio.

After thirty-one years of providing Chattanooga with custom framing, local original art, art classes, fine art and frame restoration, on Lee Highway, the family owned and operated Reflections Gallery decided to change locations. For their thirty-second year, they decided the blossoming Southside would be a good fit for both the art inspired minds of Chattanooga, as well as their establishment.

The relocation brought them to a stylish house-looking building, that in fact was a functioning single-family home for many years after transforming from an operational auto parts store and mechanic cleaning shop. Inside the Reflections Gallery and Studio is a bright, vibrant atmosphere that is full of magical art, and it is instantly captivating.

Visitors that walk in the building are met with a warm family-like greeting, it seems as if the house setting gives the operators an opportunity to make it feel like home for visitors, students, and artists alike.

The Reflections Gallery interacts with over one hundred local artists and are immersed in the culture; they

“

What separates them from other galleries is that patrons could walk in randomly and witness top-tier local artists working on a masterpiece or watch aspirant artists come into their own.” love art ethos and it is apparent from the moment one steps into its realm.

The gallery is unique as it is filled by featured local artists and rotated every twelve weeks.

Any given day visitors can see eclectic collections of original art in form of custom framed works, traditional twodimensional paintings, three-dimensional sculptures, metal sculptures, jewelry, pottery, stained glass art and even furniture with flair.

Growing beyond the gallery is their studio where things are constantly in creation and ever evolving. What separates them from other galleries is that patrons could walk in randomly and witness top-tier local artists working on a masterpiece or watch aspirant artists come into their own and integrate with the local art community; it is a fully functioning art space.

Stained glass teacher Summer Harrison said, “It is easy for people to look at a piece of art and not understand how much work the artist actually put into it. When they become

involved with the process, they begin to understand how many layers there are or how much thought goes into the process from just one aspect of it like composition, color and texture.

We help people really begin to understand some of the many facets of art.”

Many different methods in teaching are offered at the studio and are aimed to teach would-be artists style, technique, and form. While they do occasionally offer one-day art classes, many of their sessions last five or eight weeks so they can really work with individuals to properly teach them. They offer various painting and stainedglass creation classes. For more information visit their website at reflectionsgallerytn.com.

As the art scene continues to thrive, the Reflections Art Gallery and Studio will be providing Chattanooga with premier local art while molding the hopeful and teaching them to unleash their inner artist. Stop by to support this local gem and to connect with the Scenic City’s vivacious art scene.

THU2.6

FRI2.7

SAT2.8

F.E.E.L

Open Studio Night: Art is for Lovers

August Wilson’s “Gem of the Ocean”

Come out and find that perfect gift for Valentine's Day from some of the city's best artists.

5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W 6th St. chattanoogaworkspace.com

The riveting tale of a 285-year-old woman with a lifetime of cleansing souls and so much more.

8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. theatrecentre.com

A showcase event that allows artists and the audience to share the stage to express their deepest emotions.

7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 11

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR THURSDAY2.6 Gallery Open House 10 a.m.

Shuptrine’s Art Gallery 2613 Broad St. (423) 266-4453 shuptrinesgallery.com Miller Park Farmers Market 11 a.m.

Miller Park 910 Market St. millerparkmarket.com Throwback Thursday 4 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Rooted in Color Tour 6 p.m.

AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org River Runners 6 p.m.

Basecamp Bar and Restaurant 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 803-5251 basecampcha.com Life Drawing Open Studio 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Open Mic Poetry & More 6:30 p.m.

Stone Cup Café 208 Frazier Ave. (423) 521-3977 stonecupcafe.com August Wilson’s “Gem of the Ocean” 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com F.E.E.L 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Mike Paramore 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233

12 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

thecomedycatch.com Outlook/Overlook 7:30 p.m.

UTC University Center 642 E. 5th St. (423) 425-4455 utc.edu Alcoholics Not Anonymous Comedy Open Mic 8 p.m.

Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 682-8200 chattanoogabarley.com

FRIDAY2.7 Author William N. Gilmore 1 p.m.

McKay Books 7734 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-0067 mckaybooks.com Opening Reception: Denice Bizot’s “Hella Hearts” 5 p.m.

In-Town Gallery 26 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com First Friday Open House Featuring Lynda Best 5 p.m.

Reflections Gallery 1635 Rossville Ave. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com Open Studio Night: Art is for Lovers 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com First Friday Open House: Bitter is Better 5:30 p.m.

Area 61 Gallery 721 Broad St. (423) 648-9367 area61gallery.com Meet the Artist: Keith Landrum 6 p.m.

The Tap House 3800 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 682-8234 taphousechatt.com Mike Paramore 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch

1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Outlook/Overlook 7:30 p.m.

UTC University Center 642 E. 5th St. (423) 425-4455 utc.edu The Floor Is Yours: Things That Go Bump 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org August Wilson’s “Gem of the Ocean” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Love Groove Poetry Show: What’s Love Got to Do with It? 8 p.m.

Memories 607 Tunnel Blvd.

(423) 698-1006 Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m.

Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com Syraja Sinclair Dupree 11 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

SATURDAY2.8 Beginner Handlettering 10 a.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Fangs: Take a Bite out of Stage Fright 10 a.m.

ACT-SO 756 E M. MLK Blvd.

(423) 356-0896 chattanooganaacp.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave.

(423) 243-3250 saygrace.net Handmade Journal Making Workshop 11 a.m.

Rustic Trading Company 199 River St. (423) 888-1405 rustictradingcompany.com Art Bash and Fundraiser Noon Chattanooga Brewing Co. 1804 Chestnut St. (423) 702-9958 chattabrew.com Beginner Embroidery: Vintage Valentine’s Day 1 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Miss Bessie Smith Scholarship Pageant 2020 6 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org AVA Saturday Critique Workshop 6 p.m.

AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org Red & Black Auction 6:30 p.m.

The Westin 801 Pine St. (423) 531-4653 signalmountainhighschool.com Strong And Beautiful Stiletto: Couples V-Day Edition 7 p.m.

Peace. Strength. Yoga 3800 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 708-2779 peacestrengthyoga.com Mike Paramore 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Outlook/Overlook 7:30 p.m.

UTC University Center 642 E. 5th St. (423) 425-4455 utc.edu

August Wilson’s “Gem of the Ocean” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Chattanooga Heart Ball 8 p.m.

Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 heart.org Chatt Talk Tonight: Success 9 p.m.

Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

SUNDAY2.9 Free Film Screening: Persona Non Grata 2 p.m.

Regal Hamilton Place 8 2000 Hamilton Pl. Blvd.

(844) 462-7342 eventbrite.com Outlook/Overlook 2 p.m.

UTC University Center 642 E. 5th St. (423) 425-4455 utc.edu August Wilson’s “Gem of the Ocean” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com BLACK Excellence Awards of Chattanooga 4:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Benefit Show for Evelyn Caldwell 6:30 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Mike Paramore 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Jo Koy

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT Mike Paramore is the guy you fight to sit next to in a movie theater, on a long car ride, or during a boring lecture. His natural ability to infuse everyday situations with energetic, uplifting humor, combined with a natural ability to put you at ease, is key to his personal brand of 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 tivolichattanooga.com

MONDAY2.10 Writing for Stress Relief 5:30 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Home Organizing 101 6 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Winter Belly Dance Session 6 p.m.

Movement Arts Collective 3813 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 401-8115 movementartscollective.com Joggers & Lagers 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Brewing Co. 1804 Chestnut St. (423) 702-9958 chattabrew.com Plant Conservation & Research 6 p.m.

Green Spaces Chattanooga 63 E. Main St. (423) 648-0963 greenspaceschattanooga.org Shakespeare 2020Discussion Group 7 p.m.

Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 theedney.com

comedy. His smooth delivery and powerful punchlines make him a force in stand-up comedy.

Mike Paramore Thursday-Sunday The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

TUESDAY2.11 Chattanooga Self Improvement Meetup 8 a.m.

The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 theedney.com Introduction to Public Speaking: Two Part Workshop 1 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Making a Custom Knife 5 p.m.

Woodcraft of Chattanooga 5824 Brainerd Rd. (423) 710-8001 woodcraft.com Love Letters: Cake Decorating Edition 6 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Silverpoint Drawing 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Take Five Reading Series: Keith Gessen’s “A Terrible Country” 6 p.m.

UTC University Center 615 Mccallie Ave. (423) 425-4455 utc.edu Brewga: Yoga and a Beer 6:30 p.m.

Chattanoooga Brewing Company

1804 Chestnut St. chattabrew.com An Evening of Hope: Sparking Vision & Innovation 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Paths to Pints 6:30 p.m.

The Tap House 3800 St. Elmo Ave. taphousechatt.com

WEDNESDAY2.12 Mug-Making Workshop with Marialice Hatch 10 a.m.

Scenic City Clay Arts 301 E. 11th St. (423) 883-1758 sceniccityclayarts.org Free Indoor Archery Session 3:30 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Finley Stadium Parking Lot 522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Beginner’s Stained Glass with Summer Harrison 5:30 p.m.

Reflections Gallery 1635 Rossville Ave. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com Gargoyle Sculpting 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St.

(423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Moody Molavi: Cocktails & Comedy for Couples Communication 6 p.m.

Jewish Federation of Greater Chattanooga 5461 North Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Intermediate Handlettering: Note Taking 6 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries 6 p.m.

The Chattery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 521-2643 thechattery.org Shane Mauss “Head Talks Live” 6:30 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Contemporary Dance with Sara 6:45 p.m.

Spot Venue 3214 Brainerd Rd. (931) 319-1616 spotvenue.co Chatt About Science: The Geology of Iceland 7 p.m.

Stone Cup Cafe 208 Frazier Ave. (423) 521-3977 stonecupcafe.com Dale Jones 7 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga State Comedy Improv 7:30 p.m.

Chatt State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-4400 chattanoogastate.edu Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 13

THE MUSIC SCENE

Country Music Stars Come Home For A Cause Alaina & Filmore play for The Signal Foundation

Love, Music & Champagne There’s a reason the aspect of love fits so seamlessly into song. The language of love is universal and it is often spoken through music. In the words of Shakespeare, “If music be the food of love, play on.”

You won’t have to look hard to find this enchanting blend of romance and music. The Chattanooga Theatre Centre presents “A Very Broadway Valentine’s Day” this Saturday at 8 p.m.

With twenty-one different performers, none of whom are strangers to the Broadway stage, and arrangements by favorite composers such as Rodgers and Hammerstein and Andrew Lloyd Webber, there is something that caters to everyone’s taste.

Speaking of taste, guests will enjoy complimentary champagne and a chocolate dessert. The event, which is a fundraiser for the theatre, will also feature a silent auction and a cash bar.

The show will consist of love songs from early to current Broadway musicals, covering a wide range of genres.

“These love songs cover all the many aspects of romance,” Director Steve Ray said.

“Some are funny. Some are sweet. Some are complicated. But in some way, all of them are uplifting.”

Bring your date, your gal pals, or your theatre and music loving relatives to one of the country’s oldest theatres for a dreamy theatrical experience. Tickets are $40 a person and may be purchased by calling the box office at (423) 267-8534 or by visiting theatrecentre. com — Lindsey Clute

By Marc T. Michael

“

Pulse Music Editor

No one can ever say again that ‘nobody from there ever accomplished anything’.”

14 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

T

HERE’S NO SUCH THING AS “PROFESSIONAL jealousy” in music. Oh, jealousy abounds to be sure but there’s nothing professional about it, and the musicians that know their worth eschew that sort of pettiness, leaving it to the small-minded, thin-skinned, fragile egos who wouldn’t know what to do with success if someone handed it to them on a silver platter.

For the bulk of us who claim the title of “pro” or at least aspire to it, musicians are all part of the same tribe regardless of style or background. To see one of our own “make it” is cause for celebration.

That truth becomes more poi-

gnant when the rising star is from your town. Not only is there a collective sense of pride that a local has gone on to conquer the world at large, there is the practical realization that yes, you can be from here and go on to fame and fortune.

“

The Songbirds Foundation’s Guitars for Kids program provides music education, instrument lessons, and music therapy for the youth of eastern Tennessee.”

Moreover, it elevates the status of the music scene itself. No one can ever say again that “nobody from there ever accomplished anything” and if recent trends are any indication, it appears that each new success story paves the way for two more.

It was only a week ago that this column featured a young rapper who is now signed to one of the biggest names in the industry and our own Strung Like A Horse is in the middle of a wildly successful European tour, while local favorites Lon Eldridge and James Leg have recently returned from the same.

And then there is Lauren Alaina. No matter how removed you may be from local music, there’s a name you likely know as the young lady from Rossville who made it all the way from audition to the final round of the tenth season of American Idol back in 2011.

Miss Alaina finished the season as runner-up, sufficient achievement to not only see the declaration of “Lauren Alaina” in her own town, but to launch a career

whose success is uncontested. In short, the Wildflower took off like wild fire.

A couple of hit albums soon followed, along with hit singles, performances at the Grand Ole Opry, the White House, and the world. Lauren Alaina is a star, no two ways about it.

This Friday, the ACM New Female Vocalist of the year will be appearing at The Signal along with fellow “face of new country” star Filmore.

The event is billed as a “Concert for a Cause”, a fundraiser for the Songbirds Foundation here in Chattanooga. The Songbirds Foundation’s Guitars for Kids program provides music education, instrument lessons, and music therapy for the youth of eastern Tennessee.

It’s a chance to see two of country music’s fastest rising stars up close and personal, while lending some much needed support to the arts in our own community. Tickets are available now via The Signal’s website at thesignaltn.com. Doors open at 7 p.m. with the show starting at 8:30 p.m.

Holcomb Folk Come Together For You & Me February is shaping up to be a month for world class music in the Scenic City as the Tivoli Theatre presents “The You & Me Tour: An Evening with Drew & Ellie Holcomb” next Wednesday, February 12th.

The singer/songwriter couple has been making big waves in the music world ever since the debut of Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors back in 2006.

An array of highly successful albums and singles soon followed, accompanied by an incredible number of concerts throughout the world culminating in shared stages with Robert Earl Keen, The Avett Brothers, and Susan Tedeschi, to name only a few.

In 2012, devoted mother Ellie left the band to focus on raising their daughter Emmy Lou but has since gone on to great success as a solo artist and author while Drew was declared “one of Americana’s Most Popular Stars” by Rolling Stone.

Wildly successful both individually and together, the “first couple” of modern American folk will be appearing at the Tivoli next Wednesday night at 8 p.m. Tickets are on sale now, but are sure to sell out quickly.

Reserve yours today for a rare chance to see the globe-trotting musical power couple in your own hometown.

— Marc T. Michael

THU2.6

FRI2.7

SAT2.8

Shakey’s Bad Knee, Field Hockey, Good Grief, Caramore

Backwater Still

Koe Wetzel

At the intersection of Southern rock and withering rhythm and blues lies the music of Backwater Still.

9 p.m.

HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St. hificlydeschattanooga.com

The East Texas native sent a storm sweeping through the Texas/ Red Dirt scene with the release of his 2018 EP, “Gone”.

8 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com

Get any early start to the weekend with a night of blistering local rock.

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 15

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THURSDAY2.6 Danimal & Friends 6 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Co. 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com David Anthony & Paul Stone 6 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Toby Hewitt 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Webb Baringer Band 7 p.m.

Edley’s Bar-B-Que 205 Manufacturers Rd. edleysbbq.com Olivier Messiaen’s “Quartet for the End of Time” 7:30 p.m.

Chatt State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. chattanoogastate.edu Courtney Holder 7:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com New Grass Express 7:30 p.m.

The FEED Co. Table and Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Marty Stuart and his Fabulous Superlatives 8 p.m.

Walker Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. tivolichattanooga.com Mark Andrew 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic Night 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Shakey’s Bad Knee, Field Hockey, Good Grief, Caramore 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

16 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

FRIDAY2.7 Megan Howard 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com TN Songwriters Week 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Jeff Hodge 7 p.m.

Oddstory Brewing Company 336 E. MLK Blvd. oddstorybrewing.co Hill City Sessions: Ryder Pierce 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Brewing Co. 1804 Chestnut St. chattabrew.com Hatcher/Phillips Band 7:30 p.m.

Gate 11 Distillery 1400 Market St. gate11distillery.com Preston Ruffing 7:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com River City Sessions 7:30 p.m.

Cadek Conservatory 725 Oak St. rivercitysessions.com Heatherly 8 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Co. 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com Maya Trippe 8 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Lauren Alaina 8 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com Steven Green 9 p.m.

Big River Grille 222 Broad St. bigrivergrille.com Backwater Still 9 p.m.

HiFi Clyde’s

122 W. Main St. hificlydeschattanooga.com Michael Angelo Batio, Pale Rider 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Courtney Holder 9 p.m.

The Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Rumours: A Tribute to Fleetwood Mac 9 p.m.

Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirds.rocks Jerry Grant & The Corruptors feat. Bethany Kidd 9:30 p.m.

The Brew & Cue 5017 Rossville Blvd.

(423) 867-9402 J Flo, Hi$e Cold + Friends 10 p.m.

Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 265-8711 Gino Fanelli 10 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com ET 10 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Six Shooter 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY2.8 Danimal 10:30 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com No Big Deal 6 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com John Carroll 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar

801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Tinsley Ellis Album Release Show 7 p.m.

Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirds.rocks TN Songwriters Week 7 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Co. 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com Sleazy Sleazy 7:30 p.m.

Gate 11 Distillery 1400 Market St. gate11distillery.com Steve Busie 7:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Koe Wetzel 8 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com A Very Broadway Valentine’s Day 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. theatrecentre.com Rick Stone 8 p.m.

Doc Holidays Bar & Grille 742 Ashland Ter. docholidaysbarandgrille.com Paul Smith & Sky High Band 8 p.m.

Eagles Club 6128 Airways Blvd. foe.com GoldenOak 8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org The Foothills 8 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Straight Up Band 8 p.m.

VFW Post 4848 2402 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 624-6687 Sullivan Band 9 p.m.

HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St. hificlydeschattanooga.com Ozossi, Hypho, Dice Man 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Evan Kennedy 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Full Moon Madness 9 p.m.

Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 265-8711 CBDB and LVNDR with No Pressure 9 p.m.

Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirds.rocks Mother’s Legacy 9 p.m.

Big River Grille 222 Broad St. bigrivergrille.com Turnstyles 10 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Six Shooter 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. Budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY2.9 Nicholas Edward Williams 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Carl Pemberton 11 a.m.

Westin Chattanooga 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com 9th Street Stompers 11 a.m.

STIR 1444 Market St. stirchattanooga.com My Name Is Preston Noon Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St.

thesouthsidesocial.com The Travelers 1 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery & Restaurant 2 Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Ben Stephens 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Free Fiddle School 2 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Simmons-O’Neal Memorial Concert 3 p.m.

Oak Street Playhouse Theatre 419 McCallie Ave. firstcentenary.com UTC Symphony Orchestra Annual Concerto Concert 3 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. Chattanoogastate.edu Open Mic with Robin Baker 6:30 p.m.

River Drifters 1925 Suck Creek Rd. riverdrifterschatt.com Sam Moss 7 p.m.

The Woodshop 5500 St. Elmo Ave. thewoodshop.space Jonathan Wimpee 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Maggie Schneider, Ryder Pierce, Papa Fresco 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Zech Dallas and David Travisano 9 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

MONDAY2.10 Faculty and Guest Piano Recital

4 p.m.

Ackerman Auditorium 4881 Taylor Cir. southern.edu Open Air with Jessica Nunn 6 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com USAF Band of Mid-America 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. theatrecentre.com Blues Night Open Jam 7 p.m.

Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirds.rocks Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

TUESDAY2.11 Tyler Martelli & Maria Jordania 5 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Co. 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com Acoustic Bohemian Night 6:30 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Hyunah Yu, David Shifrin, & Gloria Chien 6:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org Danimal 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Webb Berringer 7:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Soprano Jourdan Howell 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. chattanoogastate.edu Guest Piano Recital: Derek

Parsons 7:30 p.m.

Ackerman Auditorium 4881 Taylor Cir. southern.edu Live Jam Session with Freddy Mc & Friends 8 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Matt Kearney 8 p.m.

Walker Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. Tivolichattanooga.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Mother Legacy 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

WEDNESDAY2.12 Jesse James Jungkurth 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Maria Jordania 7:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com An Evening with Drew and Ellie Holcomb 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com North By North, Midnight Promise 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 17

CHAD RANFORD'S RECORD REVIEWS

New Music From Jeff Crompton, Little Snake

Jeff Crompton Shooter (jeffcrompton.bandcamp.com)

Little Snake YATDC (Brainfeeder)

S

master, and retired public high school music teacher. Of course the spike in school shootings and public massacres over the last few years weigh heavily on his mind. Shooter’s anxiety-ridden title track, and the ominous “Slow March (Through A Dark Place)”, articulate with tonal purity the feelings of confusion, frustration, and existential dread of the times.

However, to address these societal woes by any other means—in direct conversation or via social media— renders them as political bait, subject to misguided criticism, debate, and bad grammar to a degree that deflates the importance of tackling the subject with care.

With Shooter, Crompton beats the

ometimes, a little bit of abstraction goes a long way. When talking about politics, religion, human rights, even the weather, there’s always going to be a Facebook troll or some knuckle-dragging foe of whatever the cause may be, who can and will shout you down.

All of this is said to illustrate a subversive brilliance in how Atlanta-based alto saxophone player Jeff Crompton has couched what he needs to get off his chest with his latest 10-inch song cycle, Shooter. There is no pretending the subject matter isn’t as plain as the armed gunman taking aim on the album’s cover.

Crompton is a Southern jazz and blues historian, composer, improv

system, you have no choice but to listen and soak in the darkness he channels into each number. “Peace On Earth”, “Light”, and “There Is a Balm in Gilead” swirl, swell, wail, and fade with subtle minimalism—one horn, one man with both feet planted in a balance of hard-bop jazz and the avant-garde.

The music is transcendent in its restraint, but always colorful and urgent, evoking a sense of loneliness and an intense longing—the kind of reconciliation that defies words.

I

n his book titled “M: Writings ’67– ’72”, composer and music philosopher John Cage writes, “Syntax, like government, can only be obeyed. It is therefore of no use except when you have something particular to command such as: Go buy me a bunch of carrots.”

Press play on Little Snake’s latest offering, YATDC, and let Cage’s words sink in. There is beauty, absurdity, and inspiring logic embedded within producer Gino Serpentini’s kaleidoscopic splatter of electronic textures, discordant piano lines, and disembodied voices.

The album’s 10-minute+ first single, “I. OYU3.33REA”, casts aside the rules of familiar musical order in what could be perceived as a new language

of sorts. The remaining three songs, “II. ETH2.22”, “III. 4.62287ARMED”, and “IV. REACTOR0.93713” draw as much influence from Jackson Pollock’s painting “Convergence” as they do from the music of Mouse On Mars, Aphex Twin, and Flying Lotus.

It is FlyLo’s Steven Ellison who enabled the Calgary, Alberta-based producer Serpentini to spread his brand of machine funk far and wide via Brainfeeder Records. YATDC is the third offering to arrive via the Los Angeles label, following 2019’s Lost In Spirals and 2018’s Enter.

Along the way, Serpentini’s production deconstructs jungle music, drum and bass, math rock, modern composition, and noise to arrive at a wholly new sense of rhythm and atmosphere.

Upon first exposure, the motion in which all of the music’s many working parts move together comes across as jarring, maybe even a bit alien.

But YATDC quickly reveals itself to be a deeply pleasing listen. As such, these four songs make great ambient music for long drives, comfortable gatherings, the art gallery…maybe not the dance floor so much.

Still, Serpentini’s style swings with its own futuristic, organic-synthetic language that’s knotted up, albeit elegant, and poised to reveal so much more.

Pulse on Facebook Follow The Pulse on FacebookFollow (we’reThe quite likeable) (we're really quite likeable)

Follow The Pulse on Facebook (we’re quite likeable)

www.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse

Follow The Pulse onwww.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse Facebook (we’re quite likeable) 18 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

www.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse

JONESIN' CROSSWORD

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): According to my analysis, the year 2020 will be a time when you can have dramatic success as you re-evaluate and re-vision and revamp your understandings of your life purpose. Why were you born? What’s the nature of your unique genius? What are the best gifts you have to offer the world?

Of the many wonderful feats you could accomplish, which are the most important? The next few weeks will be a potent time to get this fun and energizing investigation fully underway.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Physicist Niels Bohr won a Nobel Prize for his insights about quantum mechanics. But he was humble about the complexity of the subject. “If you think you understand it, that only shows you don’t know the first thing about it,” he mused.

I’m tempted to make a similar statement about the mysteries and riddles that are making your life so interesting. If you think you understand those mysteries and riddles, you probably don’t. But if you’re willing to acknowledge how perplexing they are, and you can accept the fact that your comprehension of them is partial and fuzzy, then you might enjoy a glimmer of the truth that’s worth building on.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You now have the power to make connections that have not previously been possible. You can tap into an enhanced capacity to forge new alliances and strengthen your support system. I urge you to be on the lookout for a dynamic group effort you could join or a higher purpose you might align yourself with. If you’re sufficiently alert, you may even find an opportunity to weave your fortunes together with a dynamic group effort that’s in service to a higher purpose.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Victory won’t come to me unless I go to it,” wrote the poet Marianne Moore. In other words, you must track down each victory you’re interested in. You must study its unique nature. And then you must adjust yourself to its specifications.

You can’t remain just the way you are, but must transform yourself so as to be in alignment with the responsibilities it demands of you.

Can you pass these tests, Taurus? I believe you can. It’s time to prove it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): While at the peak of his powers as an author, Gemini-born Nobel Prizewinner Jean Paul Sartre consumed an array of mood-shifters every day. He quaffed at least a quart of alcohol, smoked two packs of cigarettes, and drank copious amounts of coffee and tea. His intake of pills included 200 milligrams of amphetamines, 15 grams of aspirin, and a handful of barbiturates. I

propose that we make Sartre your anti-role model during the next four weeks, dear Gemini. According to my analysis of your astrological indicators, your ability to discover, attract, and benefit from wonders and marvels will thrive to the degree that you forswear drugs and alcohol and artificial enhancements. And I’m pleased to inform you that there could be a flood of wonders and marvels.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I don’t think I’m boring. How could I be?

I have an abundant curiosity and I love to learn new things. I’ve worked at many different jobs, have read widely, and enjoy interacting with a broad range of humans. Yet now and then I’ve had temporary relationships with people who regarded me as uninteresting. They didn’t see much of value in me. I tend to believe it was mostly their fault—they couldn’t see me for who I really am—but it may have also been the case that I lived down to their expectations.

Their inclination to see me as unimportant influenced me to be dull. I bring this up, my fellow Cancerian, because now is an excellent time to remove yourself from situations where you have trouble being and feeling your true self.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Soprano Helen Traubel and tenor Lauritz Melchior performed together in many productions of Wagnerian operas, often at the Metropolitan in New York City. Friends and colleagues but not lovers, they had a playful relationship with each other. A favorite pastime was figuring out tricks they could try that would cause the other to break into inappropriate laughter while performing. According to my quirky reading of the astrological omens, Leo, the coming weeks will be a propitious time for you to engage in similar hijinks with your allies. You have a poetic license and a spiritual mandate to enjoy amusing collaborative experiments, playful intimate escapades, and adventures in buoyant togetherness.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Eighteenth-century author Samuel Johnson singlehandedly compiled the influential A Dictionary of the English Language, which remained the definitive British dictionary for 170 years. We shouldn’t be surprised that it was a Virgo who accomplished such an intricate and exhaustive feat.

As a high-minded Virgo, Johnson also had a talent for exposing hypocrisy. In commenting on the Americans’ War of Independence against his country, he noted that some of the “loudest yelps for liberty” came from slave-owners. I propose that we make him one of your role models in 2020. May he inspire you to produce rigorous work that’s useful to many. May he also empower you to be a candid

purveyor of freedom.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Is there a project or situation you’d love to create but have lacked the confidence to try? Now is a time when you can finally summon the necessary courage. Is there a longrunning dilemma that has always seemed too confusing and overwhelming to even understand, let alone solve? Now is a favorable time to ask your higher self for the clear vision that will instigate an unforeseen healing. Is there a labor of love that seems to have stalled or a dream that got sidetracked? Now is a time when you could revive its luminosity and get it back in a sweet groove.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Was there a more influential 20th-century artist than Scorpio-born Pablo Picasso? He was a revolutionary innovator who got rich from his creations. Once, while visiting a gallery showing of art made by children, he said, “When I was their age I could draw like Raphael [the great Renaissance artist]. But it took me a lifetime to learn to draw like they do.” In accordance with your current astrological omens, Scorpio, I suggest you seek inspiration from Picasso’s aspiration.

Set an intention to develop expertise in seeing your world and your work through a child’s eyes.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I know a Sagittarius man who has seen the film Avengers: Endgame 17 times. Another Sagittarian acquaintance estimates she has listened all the way through to Billie Eilish’s album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? 135 times. And then there’s my scholarly Sagittarian friend who has read the ancient Greek epic poem the Iliad 37 times. I have no problem with this behavior. I admire your tribe’s ability to keep finding new inspiration in sources you already know well. But in my astrological opinion, you shouldn’t do much of this kind of thing in the coming weeks. It’s high time for you to experiment with experiences you know little about. Be fresh, innocent, and curious.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Athens was one of the great cities of the ancient world. Its vigorous art, theater, philosophy, architecture, and experiments in democracy are today regarded as foundational to Western culture. And yet at its height, Athens’ population was a mere 275,000—equal to modern Fort Wayne, Indiana or Windsor, Ontario. How could such a relatively small source breed such intensity and potency? That’s a long story. In any case, I foresee you having the potential to be like Athens yourself in the coming weeks and months, Capricorn: a highly concentrated fount of value. For best results, focus on doing what you do best.

“Decade in Review, Part 4”—fun stuff from 2016 & 2017.

ACROSS 1 Compensation in a lawsuit 8 “Don’t mind ___ do!”

11 Media device manufactured for the last time by Funai Electric in 2016 14 Check out 15 Exclamation from Poirot 17 Margaret Atwood’s 2016 retelling of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” 18 It may be drafted for impeachment 19 Brute in a storybook 20 They may be dire 21 ___ out (back down from a daunting task) 24 ‘16 and ‘17, e.g.

26 Signature of Pooh’s tree-dwelling friend 27 Being employed 29 Sharp ___ tack 31 “Major” or “Minor” constellation 35 Slide into your ___ 36 2016 event featuring a shirtless Tongan, green pool

water, and Ryan Lochte shenanigans 40 Hit the buffet 41 Jones who ran from a big boulder 42 +, on a battery 43 TV host who misannounced the winner of Miss Universe in 2017 45 Sault ___ Marie, Canada 46 Garr of “Young Frankenstein” 47 Shakespearean laments 48 Clean vigorously 50 Journalist Mary Louise Kelly’s employer 52 Prefix for dermis 55 MIT’s middle, in brief 56 Kick-ass 60 Chain to buy some stacks 62 Biblical king 63 Hit 2017 indie video game in the style of 1930s animation 67 Celebrated 68 Sees if one can

69 Network that aired a “Candy Crush” game show in 2017 70 Admin’s domain, for short 71 Sound setups DOWN 1 Homer’s exclamation 2 “Defending Liberty, Pursuing Justice” org.

3 Flavor enhancer initials 4 “___ Fables” 5 Actor Kinnear 6 The “E” in “EGBDF” 7 Passover feast 8 “___ shocked as you are” 9 Indiana’s secondlargest city 10 Album opener 11 “I conquered,” to Caesar 12 Ancient Briton 13 Feels sorrow about 16 Broadband forerunner 21 Least narrow 22 Cell dweller 23 Good thing to pass 25 Ronan of “Little Women”

28 Lake that borders Ohio 30 Montenegrin, e.g.

32 Gets after 33 D.C. nine, for short 34 Affirm as true 37 Forming a chord, say 38 “Honeysuckle Rose” singer Anita 39 Hall of Famer Willie 44 Antarctic mountain ___ Massif 49 Coded message 51 Apples and pears, e.g.

53 Ancient Britons 54 “___ myself today ...” (NIN/ Johnny Cash lyric) 56 “Be with you in just ___!”

57 Place for growth?

58 Yale students 59 Docs that use endoscopes 61 “The Andy Griffith Show” kid 64 Linguistics suffix 65 “From ___ Zinc” (multivitamin slogan) 66 Two, to Juan

Copyright © 2020 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents perminute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 974 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 19

FILM & TELEVISION

We Have A Winner Ritchie’s iconic cast of characters don’t disappoint

The Mighty Six Triple Eight In February 1945, hundreds of America’s highly skilled and educated women, many from the Southeast, shipped out to Europe for the opportunity of a lifetime.

The U.S. Army’s 6888th Central Postal Directory Battalion was the only all-female, all-African American unit to serve overseas during World War II. Their story began right outside of Chattanooga, at the Third Army Women’s Army Corps (WAC) Training Center in Fort Oglethorpe, Georgia.

The 6888th’s story, long forgotten, is now the subject of an award-winning documentary The Six Triple Eight. The 40-minute film will premiere in Chattanooga next Thursday, February 13 at 3 p.m. at the University of Tennessee’s University Center Auditorium.

The screening, which is free and open to the public, will be followed by a Q&A with the film’s producer James W. Theres, producer Edna Cummings, Colonel, Ret., U.S. Army, National Park Service interpretive ranger Brian Autry, and Beverly Foster, president of the Walker County, Georgia African American Historical and Alumni Association.

“This is an amazing story that is finally coming to light,” said Operation Manager Keith Landecker of Power 94 FM. “These women faced enormous hurdles, both at home and abroad, to accomplish their mission.”

A full listing of the 6888th veterans can be found on the 6th Cavalry Museum website at 6thcavalrymuseum.org. Any family members or descendants of 6888th veterans may contact Chris McKeever at the museum at (706) 861-2860. — Michael Thomas

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

“

Tarantino gives criminals a hierarchy but ultimately, success comes from chance rather than talent. It’s all chaos.”

20 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

T

HE INFLUENCE OF QUENTIN TARANTINO ON MOVies about criminals cannot be overstated. Americans have always had a fascination with crime. Our rugged individualism lends itself to a certain appreciation for those that live their lives outside the boundaries of the law, who make their own decision with little regard for the opinions of others, doing what they want on their terms as the ride headlongs into disaster.

We like the romanticism of the outlaw. Tarantino, who builds his worlds out of the pieces of other filmmakers, loves painting criminals as intelligent, long-winded, and clever. However, he also has characters with a more Elmore Leonard tale on the criminal mind—they’re stupid, lazy, and apparently eager to get caught. Tarantino gives criminals a hierarchy but ultimately, success comes from chance rather than talent. It’s all chaos.

Filmmakers have imitated this style

since Pulp Fiction, probably none more than Guy Ritchie. Ritchie has his own, British spin on these tropes. His most famous—Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch—are great in their own right, with enough Tarantino to notice, but not overly so.

He’s made several more mainstream films since (Sherlock Holmes, The Man from U.N.C.L.E, Aladdin) but his most recent film The Gentlemen is a welcome return to form.

The Gentlemen is a frame story told

through a dynamic performance

by Hugh Grant. Grant plays a skeevy private investigator name Fletcher, who works for Daily Mail, a style gossip magazine famous for bringing down rich jerks in spectacular fashion.

The editor has set his sights on Mickey Pearson (Matthew McConaughey), an American born gangster that has built an illegal marijuana empire by exploiting rich aristocrats who have begun losing their wealth thanks to British taxes. Fletcher has stumbled onto a series of unfortunate events for Mickey and his organization, which Mickey hopes to unload to the tune of almost half a billion dollars.

The film jumps from gangster to gangster, showing how each player fits into the overall scheme, allowing Grant to chew some scenery as he unfolds the plot to Mickey’s right-hand man Ray (Charlie Hunnam) in an attempt to blackmail them to keep his paper from publishing the story.

There are plenty of twists and turns along the way, a smattering of humor, a dabbling of violence, and enough charm and style to keep the film interesting, particularly for fans of Ritchie’s earlier films.

As I mentioned, this is very

“

Hugh Grant is the standout performance here—the rest of the cast (Colin Farrell notwithstanding) is more or less adequate in their roles.

Farrel is always fun to watch.” much a return to form for Ritchie.

It doesn’t feel as slapped together as some of his previous films— clearly, Ritchie has learned something from his bigger tentpole films. At times, it feels like a static, big budget action film but Ritchie has enough of an eye for direction that there are frequently interesting shots and visuals, as well as a collection of references to his previous film, if audience members have an eye for that sort of thing.

One of the more entertaining aspects of the film, at least for me, was how Fletcher tells the story as if he’s pitching a screenplay, allowing Ritchie to comment on the more meta aspects of the film. It’s entertaining to hear Grant tell the story using terms and actions being employed in real time by the film.

Grant is the standout performance here—the rest of the cast (Colin Farrell notwithstanding) is more or less adequate in their

roles. Farrell is always fun to watch and while his role is minor, it is just as entertaining as Grant’s. McConaughey, on the other hand, plays a version of himself that we’ve seen in a lots of films. Were it not for the credits, you might wonder if the opening scene is just a new Lincoln commercial.

Here’s hoping Ritchie continues making films like this one.

Bigger budget movies pay more, of course. There’s not a director out there that would turn down a Disney live-action remake. The money is just too good and I can’t fault them for it. Still, films like The Gentlemen are going to be Guy Ritchie’s legacy.

No one is going to remember who directed The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (or even that it was a film) but they’ll remember Brad Pitt asking Stephen Graham if he likes “dags” and they’ll remember the uncomfortably dirty Hugh Grant from The Gentlemen.

✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴

Birds of Prey After splitting with the Joker, Harley Quinn joins superheroes Black Canary, Huntress and Renee Montoya to save a young girl from an evil crime lord.

Director: Cathy Yan Stars: Margot Robbie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ewan McGregor, Jurnee Smollett-Bell

The Lodge A soon-to-be stepmom is snowed in with her fiancé's two children at a remote holiday village. Just as relations begin to thaw between the trio, some strange and frightening events take place.

Directors: Severin Fiala & Veronika Franz Stars: Richard Armitage, Riley Keough

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 21

COLUMN · ON THE BEAT

Robbers Never Reap The Rewards Officer Alex explains why it never pays to bank on being a criminal

I Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

“

Clearly it doesn’t take intelligence to be a criminal— the lack thereof in fact being a prerequisite more often than not— but still. While entertaining, this is embarrassing.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.w

WAS PASSING UNDER A RAILROAD overpass on St Elmo Avenue when I noticed a man hanging outside the passenger window of an early 80’s model Cadillac as it travelled south towards the possibly famous Incline railway. Actually it wasn’t so much the protruding torso I noticed as much as it was the gym bag billowing whitish smoke he held as far as possible from said thorax.

Bank robbery. Why? Why in this age and time do people still insist on robbing the one business that makes physical fortifications and armed geriatrics part of its customer service experience?

I mean I get it—it’s comparatively safer than robbing a family-owned gun store in middle Tennessee or Texas (Nashville and Austin respectively being the likely exceptions due to demographic changes), but I tried making a mental list of “successful” bank robberies in the course of my now uncommonly long career and I drew a blank.

The lack of success does, however have a common denominator: Intelligence Quotient.

Allow me to explain: Last year a bank robber accidentally left his wallet at the scene of the crime after fleeing with cash. The wallet contained his driver’s license, social security card, and his parole registration card.

Following his lead, another robbery suspect left his cell phone at a bank after running off with the loot, which was swiftly traced by the police thanks to the man’s mobile phone provider, who charged him for roaming. He was out of state.

A man went into a bank, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a brown paper bag over his face as a mask, but only then realized he’d for-

22 • THE PULSE • FEBRUARY 6, 2020 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

gotten to cut eye holes in said bag.

A San Francisco bank robber walked into a Bank of America branch and wrote, “This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” He panicked, however, that someone may have seen him write the note and would call the police, so he walked out, crossed the road to a Wells Fargo bank and walked up to the teller with the same note.

This future Employee of the Decade told him she couldn’t possibly accept his stick-up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Defeated, he said “Okay” and left.

She called the cops who found him back in line at the Bank of America.

After robbing three banks in our great state of Tennessee, a man took his clothes to a dry cleaners presumably to conceal evidence. He left the hold-up note still in the pocket of his shirt.

A possible all-time favorite (admittedly based purely in jealousy): a bank robber was left behind at the scene of the

crime when the getaway driver panicked and drove off. Thinking on his feet, he attempted to steal a nearby car but discovered it was an unmarked police car with two cops inside. (Those. Lucky. Bastards.)

You’re sensing a pattern at this point, yes? And yet still they persist. Clearly it doesn’t take intelligence to be a criminal—the lack thereof in fact being a prerequisite more often than not—but still. While entertaining, this is embarrassing.

Cops aren’t just laughing at you; your peers and colleagues are laughing.

Criminal Darwinism is a part of the natural order of things but don’t put both thumbs on the scale, pal.

My guy with the literal smoking gun?

I’m a terrible cop (I once lost my service weapon in my own patrol car for a panicked twenty minutes), but even I caught his ass before he even made it to the Incline.

Anyway, time to make a deposit. I’ll be sure to update this submission if I’m lucky enough to bear witness to another anecdotal paragraph—fingers crossed.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FEBRUARY 6. 2020 • THE PULSE • 23