Unlocking Impact: Volume 1

Program Highlights

Grandparents: Unlocking the Next Generation One area of expansion for 18Doors this year is around our work with grandparents. Our grandparent work builds on our target audience of interfaith couples and families with young children by recognizing the important role grandparents play as cultural leaders and influencers of traditions in Jewish families. We have invested in additional targeted resources and engagement opportunities to support grandparents in passing down traditions while also supporting the unique needs of their interfaith children and grandchildren.

Upcoming Events Save the Date Ignite the Light Celebration Tuesday, Dec. 7, 2021 Find out more at 18doors.org/ignite

In This Issue: From our CEO p. 2

Pineapple Rugelach p. 3 What We Didn't Know About Finding a Jewish Officiant p. 4

Parents Corner p. 5

An exciting new additions last spring was the launch of a grandparents email newsletter. The free monthly newsletters are delivered via email and contain articles about grandparenting topics as well as recipes and ideas for activities to do with grandchildren, whether in-person or virtual. The rapidly growing subscribers get meaningful content and current information. Sign up at 18doors.org/grandparents-newslettersignup/.

If you would like to see content curated just for grandparents, visit 18doors.org/grandparents/.

Want to support our work at 18Doors? Scan the QR code above or visit 18doors.org/donate.

Group of participants from a program in Houston, TX with Rabbi Scott Hausman-Weiss

From the Desk of our CEO

Jodi Bromberg It Shouldn’t Be Painful to Connect to Jewish Life Too frequently, we hear about the heartache and trauma interfaith families have gone through in their journey to connect to Jewish life.

“I’m Jewish and my husband is Catholic, and we’ve been deeply wounded by the Jewish community.”

"Finding 18Doors was an emotional lifesaver for me.

The resources and information provided through the site are easy to navigate, extremely helpful and validating."

“I’d like to become a rabbi, but I can’t, because my spouse isn’t Jewish.”

-Julie P.

“I want my childhood rabbi to marry us, but he said he won’t because my fiancé is Christian.”

“We’ve been married for years, but I still can’t get over how I was treated by my in-laws because I’m not Jewish.”

“I work for a Jewish organization and I’m scared to tell them I’m dating somebody who’s not Jewish.”

There is so much pain in these stories, in the repeated attempts to connect to Jewish life, to find a place where we belong. Exploring Jewish life shouldn’t be painful.

That’s why we launched the Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship in 2019, now in its third year—to create cohorts of rabbis honing their practice of working with Jewish interfaith families. They receive mentoring and coaching, attend specialized learning seminars and gain access to resources, and facilitate programs and workshops for interfaith families.

The early results are promising! Here’s what some of our Fellows have said about how the Fellowship has changed their rabbinate and leadership:

“I’m putting a finer point on the importance of doing outreach to interfaith families. I’ve expanded it beyond something that I do and have looped in the wider community. Now it’s a mission critical part of my rabbinate and my congregation’s strategic plan.” “[The Fellowship] has changed my thinking: I’m becoming more open and flexible. I have people coming to me who have felt turned away by every community and by rabbis who shamed them. What started as mild frustration is now anger and sadness that the Jewish community is so behind and hurtful. It’s become the most important activism I do. It’s become a greater part of my rabbinate and my worldview.”

"I co-officiated for the first time. It was a wedding where the uncle of the bride was a Lutheran pastor. I’ve been doing interfaith weddings but I always felt uncomfortable about co-officiating, and now I don’t. I feel like we’re gaining people: we’re bringing people in instead of pushing them away.”

With programs like the Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship, 18Doors is creating accepting, inclusive Jewish communities.

Because participating in Jewish life shouldn’t hurt.

The application process is now open for our third cohort of Rukin Rabbinic Fellows. Are you interested in learning more, or bringing 18Doors to your community? Contact us.

OCT. 2021, VOL. 1

190 North Main Street, Suite 203, Natick, MA 01760

(617) 581-6860

2021 By The Numbers:

55%

Increase in Web Visitors

2,714+

Officiation Requests

89+

Virtual Programs

1,200+

Virtual Program Participants

impact@18doors.org

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Pineapple Tart Rugelach

By Lauren Monaco Grossman

Medium Difficulty Ingredients for 64 bite-sized cookies or 32 larger cookies

Pineapple Jam 2 pounds of chopped pineapple* 1 star anise or clove 1 cinnamon stick 1-2 pandan leaves, knotted, optional** 1/2-3/4 cup (104-156 grams) sugar (depending on sweetness and size of pineapple)

Pastry 1 cup (256 grams) all-purpose flour 1/4 cup (32 grams) confectioners sugar, plus extra for dusting 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 1 cup (226 grams) cold unsalted butter, cubed 8 oz. (225 grams) cold cream cheese, cubed Topping 1 large egg splash of milk sugar for sprinkling

I made these cookies for my wedding; they bring together my mother’s Peranakan side, and my husband’s Ashkenazi heritage. A marriage of Jewish rugelach and pineapple tarts, they’re a cookie full of history and culture.

Pineapple tarts are bite-sized treats found in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia. They’re popular in Singapore all year round, but especially during Lunar New Year, Deepavali and Hari Raya. The pineapple tart itself has cross-cultural origins, harmonizing Southeast Asian spices with pineapples that were brought over to the area by the Portuguese, and a short, tart pastry with roots from European colonial influences.

The pineapple jam works beautifully with a cream cheese rugelach dough. Rugelach dough was traditionally made with yeast in Poland, Ukraine and Russia. Jewish bakers arriving in the United States made use of cream cheese, which became widely available in the late 1800s, and the cookies took on a flakier texture. The crumbly, flakiness of the cookie is a perfect match for the pineapple jam.

The recipe can be broken up and each component can be made ahead of time, and even frozen until you are ready. The baked cookies can also be easily frozen.

For instructions on how to make this recipe, navigate to 18doors.org/recipe/pineapple-tart-rugelach.

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190 North Main Street, Suite 203, Natick, MA 01760

(617) 581-6860

impact@18doors.org

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"I felt like I couldn’t fully engage with my Jewish heritage or begin married life in the most meaningful way simply because I’m not spending thousands of dollars on my wedding.”

-Ezra Samuels

What We Didn't Know About Finding a Jewish Officiant

By Ezra Samuels

When people start planning their weddings, they often think about the decorations, attire and maybe the food. My first task? Finding Jewish clergy to officiate.

Joe, my fiancé, doesn’t belong to any particular faith practice, and since I’m very invested in living a Jewish life, he agreed that a Jewish wedding with a rabbi or cantor made sense for us. That said, Joe and his family are not Jewish, so we want the ceremony to be accessible to those who aren’t familiar with Jewish rituals. As a visibly LGBTQ+ couple, on top of being interfaith/multicultural, finding someone who could respectfully and accurately honor our marriage was on the top of the to-do list.

We started by asking the rabbi at our local Hillel—a dear friend to both of us and my former professor. He told us that he absolutely wanted to, but since he’s ordained as a Conservative rabbi, he was not allowed to perform interfaith marriages. He even tried to plead his case to the Rabbinical Assembly so he could officiate for us, but he still couldn’t.

Upset over this snag in our plans, we turned to the congregational rabbi at the progressive synagogue I’ve worked at for the last few years. Queer and Reconstructionist, we knew that officiating our non-traditional wedding wouldn’t present any issues. Unfortunately, she told us that she’ll be on sabbatical on our wedding day. We then asked the other rabbi who works at the congregation, but the cost of her services was just too high for us as our wedding is on a tight budget.

Planning a Jew-ish wedding?

Make your officiant search easier with 18Doors’ free Jewish clergy referral service. Go to 18doors.org/find-a-rabbi or scan the QR code to get started.

Want to see how Joe and Ezra's story ends? The full story is at 18Doors.org/what-we-didnt-know-about-finding-a-jewish-officiant/.

OCT. 2021, VOL. 1

190 North Main Street, Suite 203, Natick, MA 01760

(617) 581-6860

impact@18doors.org

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Parents & Grandparents Corner

Navigating Different Sets of Rules With Parents and Grandparents

By Miriam Steinberg-Egeth Kids love consistency; they rely on it and thrive with it.

So what happens when parents and grandparents have different rules? How do kids move between alternating expectations when they visit different relatives’ homes, or when parents and grandparents are spending lots of time together during a vacation?

Here are just a few guiding questions to consider before that next sleepover, holiday meal or beach vacation.

Questions to spark conversation between adult children and their parents: How does it feel to know there are different rules in our homes?

How can we come together as a united front, despite our differences, in explaining things to our young children/grandchildren?

How can we work together to prepare grandchildren for how things might work a little differently with grandparents? For example, when going to a grandparent’s kosher home, why can’t they have milk with dinner?

Set the stage for open communication if tensions arise, things get complicated or you simply have exciting news to share. Say something along the lines of: “If I ever do something you don’t like, please tell me and if you do something I don’t like, I want to be able to tell you.”

Have a plan for how to work together when things fall apart or don’t go according to plan. Despite best efforts, we’re human, and when kids are involved, there are always surprises!

You can learn more tips and tricks by navigating to 18doors.org/how-to-navigate-different-sets-of-rules-parentsgrandparents/.

"I feel much more relaxed about the ceremony and that we are in good hands, both in terms of the Jewish wedding elements and being able to talk through the details with my Catholic future in-laws.

We are very grateful for this resource!”

-Sarah, matched with a rabbi through our officiation referral service

OCT. 2021, VOL. 1

190 North Main Street, Suite 203, Natick, MA 01760

(617) 581-6860

impact@18doors.org

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