Volume 144 · Issue 26 • April 6, 2011
www.thebruns.ca
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MackVestly covers torso-warming territory with new endeavour Paige Paige Paige The Listserve A local student, turned fashion designer has given up his duties in the UNB Student Government to pursue his real love; sweater vests. Sweater MackVestley is now the proud CEO of Sweatford, a new and forward-thinking company devoted to the creation and promotion of Mother Nature’s most constricting torso garment. “I, uhh, love the sweater vest. It’s kind of my thing. People make fun of them, but they are very stylish. Plus, I’m as warm as two lit cigarettes getting it on,” he said, toying playfully with a loose thread on his argyle printed vest. When asked why MackVestley really left council, he cited two reasons. 1. His passion for sweater vests far exceeded his passion (NAWT) for student politics. So much so, he could no longer bear sitting around the government table without his trusty knitting tools. 2. Everyone discovered his name is truly MackVestLEY, not MackVestFORD as he’d once requested he be called. “I, like, don’t even really care, you know? I’m fine here, in my residence, knitting the day away. Vests are my true passion. VIVA LA SWEATAAAA,” he yelld, quite loudly actually. MackVestley knows sweater vests are uncomfortable, especially when laid overtop button-up shirts. “They really don’t keep anything warm. In fact, my arms are cold. But shh, this is off-the-record (Sharkie’s note: NOPE!).” Strategic Plannon Vanhill-McGrinley, president of the UNBSG, said she disapproves of MackVestley’s departure from council for more fashionable pursuits, but is happy he’s gone. “I was doing all of his work, and his still made me model his line of sweater vests for women. I’d had enough.” MackVestley knows he’s received criticism from his peers, but he seems unphased. He’s recently retreated from campus life, residing mainly in his room in residence. He was last seen on Friday, running like hell through the quad, clad only in one of his infamous garments, yelling, “LIVE IT. LOVE IT. WEAR A SWEATER VEST.”