The Conservative Volume · Issue 1 • Dates are so left wing
This is blue because we are part of the offical Conservative party conspiracy against universities
biaswickan canada’s most biased official student publication.
SNAX fights against mealitarization of campus Robert Lightfoot The Biaswickan
A new organization has arrived at UNB with the intention of demealitarizing campus. SNAX, a new social activist organization, intends to fight against meals at UNB Fredericton. Meals, says the group, fight against hunger that can be otherwise stopped by pacifist snacking. SNAX intends to win. “We will fight the meal machine,” the group said last week in a press release. “Meals oppress the basic human right to snack. We deserve the right to a de-mealitarized campus and we will fight until we win.” SNAX believes that one’s blood sugar levels are kept level through moderate daytime snacking rather than thrice-daily meals. Upon realizing that such food consumption patterns are slightly healthier, they launched a campaign to stop anyone and everyone from eating meals. “We believe that no one should have a choice whether or not to be healthy,” says the press release. “The importance of health means that choice is not an option.” The group first came to public prominence when it stopped breakfast from being served at McConnell Hall. The group, upon hearing that breakfast was to arrive last week at 7:30 a.m., immediately contacted the UNB administration and told them that they would do everything in their power to stop the meal. UNB cancelled the breakfast, but rescheduled it at 10 a.m. under the code name “brunch.” “This was a small battle won,” says the release. “But the war is still to be fought. Brunch must now be eliminated.” Some students fear that their choice
A good photographer / The Biaswickan
Members of the social activist group SNAX protest breakfast at McConnell Hall. The man on the right, who identified himself only as “José,” was later taken away by campus police for threatening to set breakfast on fire. to eat meals instead of snacks has been compromised. “I really want to eat more than Mike & Ikes today,” says first year Arts student Jenny Westministerson. “But ever since SNAX came along, it’s all I’ve been allowed to have.” Graduating engineering student James LeClair also finds the student group’s actions disheartening. “All I wanted when I graduated was a nice turkey dinner with my family. SNAX took that opportunity away,” says LeClair. “Now what am I going to do when I graduate?”
SNAX is named in honour of Dr. Norman Snax, an activist professor who taught nuclear physics in the 1960s. He was among the first academics in the world to speak out against the horror of unbalanced daily blood sugar levels, and held many protests about it. SU councillor Pat Grabbitt, who can be seen in a YouTube video protesting breakfast alongside SNAX, claims he isn’t a part of the group. “What?” he asks. “Just because I am actively involved with the group doesn’t mean I’m actually in the
group. “I believe in listening to all students,” he says. “But that doesn’t mean I can prevent them from having choice in what they do. “In unrelated news,” said Grabbitt, “vote for me for the next SU President. I promise to consult students and make the other candidate look like a dictator, even though I never consulted anyone in the first place.” Fellow councillor Corky Aleksandre made a motion at the SU council table last week condemning breakfast. When asked how many of
his constituents he consulted, all of whom hope to eat meals when they graduate, he responded, “It doesn’t matter if they want meals. Meals are an injustice to blood sugar, which means no one should have the option to eat meals.” Aleksandre did not say how many constituents he consulted in subsequent interviews. When the family of Dr. Norman Snax was asked to comment on the group, they told the Biasedwickan that he was rolling around in his grave.
Investigative Committee Fails to Investigate Wrecks Lorry Co. Hans Daggerrmann The Biaswickan
An investigative committee struck by the Student Union Council has decided not to investigate the UNB SU’s contracted hippie removal service, The Wrecks Lorry Company (WLC). WLC is a service that uses trucks to ship arts majors from the UNB campus to the kitchens of fast food restau-
rants and landfills where they belong. Even though arts students are perfectly able to find work at fast food kitchens and create filth on their own, WLC is tasked with speeding up the process. WLC is contracted to poll non-Arts students, asking which majors should be removed first – philosophy, classics, and culture studies departments are particular favourites. However, the Biaswickan has recently learned that WLC was not bothering to ask for any student input whatsoever. Instead, WLC was simply condemning arts departments it didn’t like.
WLC’s official spokesperson, Hat Rabbit, tells the Biaswickan that, “Students can’t think for themselves! That’s why they’re students, for crying out loud! If students could think for themselves, they wouldn’t be students anymore, would they?” “Instead of trying to do our job that we signed up for and represent all of UNB’s students, we simply decided not to bother and do all of their thinking for them. By imposing our personal beliefs onto the student body, we are saving them time, money, and preparing them for the real world!” As a result of what several members of the SU council are calling “total
bullshit,” a committee was struck two weeks ago to investigate Wrecks Lorry’s contractual effectiveness. Since many employees of WLC are already a part of the Student Union Council, the committee was formed entirely of either WLC employees or their close associates. After two weeks, no action has been taken by the committee. Some Dolt, a member of the committee, tells the Biaswickan that “We like, totally did stuff! Didn’t we?” Dolt also explains the difficulty in investigating a small, local company: “We couldn’t, um, really understand the word ‘investigate’ in the diction-
ary, so we just kind of sat around drinking fair trade coffee, reading the Communist Manifesto, and protesting violent videogames outside of Wal-mart.” Rabbit sums up the results with the following: “We may have won this battle against bias and the Young Conservatives this time, but the war against student opinion and common sense rages on!” Hans Daggerrmann is the Official Model of the Biasedwickan. By reading this, you owe him money. Send cash, credit cards, and/or naked pictures of yourself (only if you are hot) to model@ biased.ca.
biaswickanspoof
OMG • Apr. 8, 2009
Goodside, Grant form new party Wilbur James The Biaswickan
The mayor of Fredericton and the city’s youngest councillor have teamed up to enter provincial politics with a brand new party: the Brogressive Conservative Party of New Brunswick. The team of Brad Goodside and Jordan Grant are known for their companionship in and outside of the city’s council chambers. The party, which is currently recruiting members from across the province, hopes that those who join will bring “no bullshit” to the table. “Otherwise,” says Grant, “don’t bother joining the party.”
“We basically started the party because there’s no bullshit between us, and clearly municipal politics is too small for these bros,” said Grant, as he nudged Goodside at a press conference yesterday. “We mean business, don’t talk smack, and do everything we can for Fredericton. Why not find more bros like us and take over the province?” Grant, who identifies himself as a small “c” conservative, hopes that his Brogressive Conservative party will grow large enough in the next year to make a mark on the province in time for the 2010 provincial election. Once the party gains popularity, he hopes to win a few seats. “If the PCs win the election itself, I’m certain we’ll get along. And if the Liberals win, we’ve got an ace up our sleeve – we’re already in talks of forming a broalition government
with the provincial Conservatives,” said Grant. Grant made no attempt to hide the potential broalition at the press conference, stating that he was already talking about the idea with PC party leader David Stalwart in the event that the Liberals reclaim the provincial government. “David and I are already pretty much bros, so it’s not going to be a problem,” said Grant. Goodside was quiet for much of the conference, and was seen playing with a toy Costco store at the podium for the majority of the proceedings. He spoke only once, at the very end, when asked if he was excited about entering provincial politics. “Oh yeah baby, oh yeah,” he said. The two will remain in their municipal seats until the upcoming provincial election.
Mandré / The Biaswickan
The Brogressive Conservative Party’s central mandate is “no bullshit.” These bros mean business, bro.
the biaswickan. Reportingonnewswith military precision!
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biaswickanspoof
Apr, 2009 • OMG
OMG they were right (or left????? No wait they are obv. SUPER RIGHT WING)
Mandré / Biaswickan
Jon O’Kane presents a gigantic cheque to Josh O’Kane, thereby proving the conspiracy that the aforementioned President-elect was conspiring with the Brunswickan editor-in-chief. The two, who have parents in common, were clearly in cahoots all along, and even though the elder brother had nothing to do with the Brunswickan’s election coverage and transparently demonstrated as such, every single rumour of his contamination of coverage must obviously be true.
Cindermeadow absent again Clinton Black Book The Biaswickan
Local Conservative Member of Parliament Keefe Cindermeadow raised eyebrows this week by refusing to attend another student-driven forum on the UNB campus. The forum concerned a recent proposal made by the current Conservative government: that students should no longer be allowed to vote. Discussions have also taken place about raising legal voting age to 40 years old. This springs largely from the number of voters above this age in the last federal election and their tendency to vote in favour of Conservative representatives. Jessica Travers was Fredericton’s New Democratic Party candidate in the federal election last autumn. She feels that Cindermeadow is sending a strong message to students with his absence at the forum and it is not a positive one. “He didn’t go to the debate during the federal election either. I think that it is pretty safe to say that Keefe doesn’t care which group ends up with their feelings hurt,” says Traverse angrily. “He is still too busy knocking on the doors of Fredericton’s elite and shaking hands with old people.” The forum drew a crowd in the dozens. Traverse,
along with Green Party representative, Sherri Sue Papineau; Liberal Party representative, Davis Ginnes; and Ken Belly, the Canadians Actively Partying representative, were all in attendance to answer the questions of concerned students. A placard marking what was supposed to be Cindermeadow’s place acted as a symbol of his absence. Students stood before the crowd and expressed concern about their right to vote, some even collapsing into tears. “I know I didn’t vote in the last election, but someone thinking that they can take that right away from me is just plain wrong,” cried a young girl at the podium. Anger erupted from the audience as a male student rose to defend the Conservative proposal, as well as Cindermeadow’s absence from the debate. “If the government thinks that I shouldn’t be allowed to vote, then they have the power to make that happen. I’d vote Conservative anyway. I’m a card-carrying member of the party. I read their weekly newsletter, the Brunswickan,” he exclaimed. Cindermeadow could not be reached for comment, however, his public relations representatives provided a reason for his absence. “Keefe is still recovering from the election last October. He went to two debates in one week and canvassed 2,000 doors. He is worn out and understandably so. That is why he was not at the debate.”
Coming to a woodlot near you!
biaswickanspoof
OMG • Apr. 8, 2009
Lockheed Martin plans to cut down Woodlot with “Giant fucking lawnmower” Clickity Click The Biaswickan
Lockheed Martin wants UNB to know about the threat amassing in its backyard. The company, who is the world’s largest defence contractor, claims they recently received information about giant rodents taking over the university’s lands located south of Prospect Street. Lockheed Martin has learned that the group goes by the name Beavers. The creatures are easily identifiable by their disturbingly large size and “freaky, mutant tails,” says Aldridge Edwards, member of Lockheed Martin’s board of directors. While many Fredericton residents might think that this is a new threat, representatives from Lockheed Martin claim that the animals have been infiltrating Canadian culture for years. “We recently discovered these ‘beavers’ have been secretly involved in politics and culture for years – these guys are in deeper than the masons,” explains Edwards. “They have contacts in the highest levels of government. These sick rodents are even on those little ‘novelty’ coins – nickels,” says a shocked Edwards. On a community level, Lockheed Martin claims the beavers have been chopping down trees – with their teeth – for years in order to slowly increase the
levels of carbon dioxide in the air around Fredericton. Edwards claims the only way to deal with the beavers is to strike now, before they can amass more power. “There is a threat gathering against us that we cannot ignore. These creatures are obviously attempting to harm us. We cannot wait for conclusive evidence – we’re too impatient – and the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud, or giant, tree-sized arrows,” says Edwards. In order to deal with the threat, Lockheed Martin has joined forces with the Coalition of Peaceful Frederictonians. The coalition has released a statement reading: “these beavers are evil. They need to be taught a lesson and be dealt with in the worst way possible.” To deal with the threat, Lockheed Martin has pooled their resources to create a weapon that they call “John Deere cracked out on steroids.” The weapon weighs nearly 15 tonnes, roughly the weight of a loaded dump truck. The prototype, which is tentatively referred to as “Treeminator,” looks just like a ride-on lawn mower – except that it can chop down entire trees in seconds. Essentially, Lockheed Martin plans to cut down the entirety of the UNB woodlot with “a giant fucking lawnmower,” says Edwards. No beavers were available for comment at the time of print.
Internetz
This lawnmower could do more damage than anyone could possibly know to the UNB Woodlot, mostly because it is so huge and awesome.
the biaswickan fuckin’ rules. we love ourselves.
biaswickanspoof
Apr, 2009 • OMG
The dead old man rant a self-epitaph from Dave Evans
Faithful Old Man Rant readers, I’m fearful for my life. Over the past two weeks, I’m pretty sure an N.B. Liquor van has been following me around, driven by a man in a black trench coat, red tie and sunglasses. You know, like the mafia wears. It creeped me out because he looked like my old ball coach. I thought when I wrote that article condemning the sale of NB Liquor “Selection” beer, that everything would be fine. I guessed wrong. I went into a liquor store the other day, opened the door and the place went silent. A clerk stared at me then bent down to reach for something under the counter. You’d best believe that I got the hell out of there. A Selection beer can tied to a rock was thrown through my window. A severed moose head was put in my bed when I was sleeping. I don’t know what to do anymore. I tried calling the police, but they just laughed at me and told me it sounded like I had been drinking. I’ve been called a lot of names in my day, but crazy isn’t one of them. Actually, I have been called that on several occasions. The point is, I’m not making this up, though it seems like my initial assessments of my potential demise are a bit off. I was convinced it would happen when people (possibly robots) come back from the future to kill me to prevent me from taking over the East Coast. Or maybe they already came back from the future, went further into the past and set up an entire crown corporation to take me out. Yeah, that’s a more likely explanation. I wish I had a time machine. If I did, I’d go back in time and convince Kevin Costner never to take up acting. Then I wouldn’t have to sit through three hours of him delivering peoples’ mail in The Postman, or Waterworld for that matter. How the hell does this guy keep making movies? Enough of this rambling, I probably don’t have much time left, so heed my words: I think the N.B. Liquor hit squad is coming for me, so I need to prepare. The quest for truth must survive. If I don’t make it through this, someone needs to take up the call and expose hippies and terrorists, wherever they may be. Someone must step up to the plate and say, “I also hate teenagers, let me write down my preconceived notions about them and have them published.” Although they may take me out, you can be damned sure I won’t go down without a fight. It pains me to say it, but by the time you read this I will have already salted the earth in my rhubarb patch. It was bad enough that those little neighborhood bastards would steal it, and I’ll be damned if the liquor fiends try to take it. It has been a true honour having my thoughts published in the Brunswickan, and not just because no other reputable newspaper would touch them with a 10-foot pole. The Brunswickan is a fine paper, with great writers and a staff that…wait, what the hell? You can’t come in here! *Crash* You! I should have known! You’ll never take me alive! Go to hell you son of a… *thump* Editor’s note: This is the transcript of a recording mailed to the Brunswickan’s offices. Dave Evans has not shown up for work since. If you have any information into his whereabouts please contact your local police or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS, that’s 1-800-222-8477.
letters to the editor. Being Conservative is a bad thing, if you didn’t notice Dear Editor: I cannot emphasize enough that there should be a negative connotation attached to being associated with any form of the Conservative party. The fact that the Young Conservatives have an agenda to bring me down is crystal clear, which is why I have the authority to declare such a conspiracy at a public forum like the SU council. I reserve the right to accuse anyone who questions my ability as a councillor of conspiring against me with the
Conservative party, even if they are clearly just concerned students. Questioning me means that you are a Conservative, which means that you have different political views than me, which makes you a bad person and thus part of the conspiracy. Everyone who disagrees with me must be part of such a conspiracy. There is no such thing as a student who would simply wish to hold me accountable for the job I have been elected to do. Corky Aleksandr
Josh, play nice with your little brother
Dear Son: Why do you have an agenda against your brother Jon? I’m tired of getting calls from your aunts and uncles complaining about how poorly you treat him. I know you think beards are awesome, but just because Jon looks like he could never grow one is no reason to use the Brunswickan as a tool against his campaign for President. Stop giving those United for Change guys all that free press in the Bruns and play fair for once, you biased little asshole. Show your family some support. Jon’s trying really hard, OK? Disappointed, Michael O’Kane
Hagerman’s Danny horoscopes! Dan
Dan
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
You will be feeling especially awesome this week, dear Dan. That is because you are, in fact awesome. You inspire awe in all that surround you, and even those of you who are nowhere near you. Barack Obama will call you for advice, and you will not let him down. Your lucky person is yourself.
You will be stressed over your math courses this week, dear Dan. Fortunately, you will be able to make all of your math problems go away by simply guessing that the answer for every question is 3. When asked for the value of pi, you will still be right. Your lucky roommate is diabetic.
Dan
Dan
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
You will stay up way too late playing video games this week, dear Dan. You will not regret this, however, because you’re getting SO close to unlocking more guns for Resident Evil 5. You won’t need them to kill zombies; they’re just for show. Fo’ sho’! Your lucky hand for doing onearmed pushups is your right hand.
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30) You will talk to your girlfriend several times this week, dear Dan. You will have no problems with this because she is amazing. She is better at everything than all of your ex-girlfriends combined, and your love for each other is epic enough to inspire songs. Good ones, too! Your lucky colour is blue.
Dan
Dan
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
Dan (Jul. 30 – Jul. 30): You will have difficulty choosing what you want to wear this week, dear Dan. You will have plenty of clothes to choose from; however, since you will be too lazy to get out of bed, you will not be able to see your choices. You will not be sad because being in bed is awesome. Your lucky Arnold Schwarzenegger movie is Terminator 2.
Dan
You will stay late working at the Brunswickan this week, dear Dan. Meticulously checking grammar and style will eventually give way to mindlessly checking Facebook and fmylife.com. You will still be a kickass copy editor, however, as you will write your gaming column in addition to your paid duties. Your lucky chicken is Charlie the Rubber Chicken.
Dan
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
Your goatee will be sexier than usual this week, dear Dan. Instead of being made out of hair, it will be made of steel wool. You will try to shave it off, but the only result will be some sweet sparking action. Your guy friends will think that you’re badass, and your female friends will run away in terror.
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
Your horoscopes will be written even more terribly than usual, dear Dan. Your verse will be channeled straight from the mind of whoever wrote those stupid Twilight books. Your horoscopes will be incredibly whiny, senseless, creepy, and inexplicably vegetarian. Your lucky vampires eat people.
Dan
Dan
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
Dan
Dan
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
(Jul. 30 – Jul. 30)
You will eat some awesome pizza this week, dear Dan. It will taste even better because your roommate paid for it. It will taste even better still because the crust will be filled with mozzarella cheese. Your stomach, however, will make you regret everything. Your lucky computer has a pimping video card.
You will be doing a lot of walking this week, dear Dan. Because you don’t have a car, and you’re too cheap to take taxis, you will alternate between walking home and getting rides to school with your parents. You will actually see your parents more this way than at any other time. Your lucky hair colour is dark blonde.
You will make a fantastic sandwich this week, dear Dan. It will have ham, cheese, Miracle Whip, mustard, and love. You will make another one immediately after you’ve eaten the first one because you don’t want the flavour to end. The second one won’t be as good. Your lucky height is 5-foot-11-inches.
You will be amazed by the timbre of your own voice this week, dear Dan. Whenever you speak into a microphone while playing Left 4 Dead, you will frighten the opposing team into quitting immediately. Then again, Left 4 Dead players often randomly quit anyway. Your lucky watch is a Timex Atlantis 100.
Buy Local.
www.sexeyesdaggerman.ca
biaswickanspoof
OMG • Apr. 8, 2009
UFC 97: The SU election Conrad Flack The Biaswickan
The UFC has captured the world’s attention. Now they’re after the Student Union. In an unprecedented circumstance, the Ultimate Fighting Championship organization is making a bid for the UNB Student Union election. They’re bringing a bone-crushing platform to the table which includes hard-hitting ideals and plenty of shirtless men. The UFC’ers are prepared to wrestle their way to the top. The front man of the organization and Presidential nominee is Tank Abbot, a ruthless martial artist and politician that seldom shaves. The Vice-Presidential candidate is Tito Ortiz because of the simple fact that he has a cool sounding name and a porn star girlfriend. Jenna Jameson, Ortiz’s girlfriend, will
coincidentally be running for the VP External positions and threatens to “sex any competition.” The remaining candidates applied for non-existing positions, which technically means that they made them up. Ken Shamrock will be running for Irish Rep, George St. Pierre is nominated for the Angry French-Canadian Rep, and finally Vince McMahon will be running for WWE Chairman. In a shocking twist, the Board of Governors have allowed the creation of these new positions. But honestly, are you going to say no to these guys? Their platform is filled with various social movements. Unfortunately, they do not have the brain capacity to understand what a social movement is and instead went clubbing. Several bar fights later, their mug shots were plastered all over the papers – especially in the Brunswickan. This outraged the UFC’ers and they decided to file several class actions lawsuits against the Brunswickan editorial staff. Again, not understanding the meaning of class
action lawsuits, the UFC’ers drove to Moore’s (to buy lawsuits) and then proceeded to attack several editors during class. Abbott was seen pitching several textbooks at Josh O’Kane, giving the legal expression “throw the book at him” a whole new meaning. Doug Estey’s brand new car was overturned and Shamrock logged onto his EVE account and destroyed Christian Hapgood’s Harbinger. Abbott was even quoted saying “Josh O’Kane is cruising for a bruising.” Terrible rhymes aside, the UFC’ers put up campaign of physical violence against the Brunswickan. Unfortunately, during all their time plotting against the university newspaper, their competitors, the Cabbage Patch Kids, were out campaigning and have gained a significant lead in the polls. This certain landslide victory will come with an important lesson to the UFC’ers and all those wishing to run for the Student Union: never tell John Locke what he can’t do.
Lil Wayne to head varsity bowling
Internetzzz
Lil Wayne loves bowling almost as much as he loves Katie Couric.
Colly Folly The Biaswickan
With last year’s cutbacks in varsity sports, money was freed up for the university’s ultimate dream: varsity bowling. However, the Board of Governors were then faced with the difficult task of finding the right coach. The UNB Varsity Sports teams have always had the privilege of being coached by some of the best minds in the country. Even today, the Reds have major names such as Baker, MacDonald, MacDougall, Pinsent and Richard as head coaches of the various sports. On Monday, the UNB Athletics Department proudly presented the next coach to this illustrious line. The new coach of the varsity bowling team is none other than Lil Wayne. Even with his busy hoe-slapping schedule, Mr. Wayne was kind enough to spare a few minutes for an interview with the Biaswickan. Biaswickan: What attracted you to a head coaching position at UNB? Lil Wayne: Well, it starts with a love for the game, you know. Also, they payin’ me 50 Gs a month as well putting a bowling alley/strip club on the top floor of the Currie Center. B: Will you be coaching the men’s or women’s team? LW: I’ll be coaching the men. As for the women, they’ll be coached by Missy Elliot ft. Lil Jon.
B: Most coaches are professors or at least have some other affiliation with the university. Will you follow suit? LW: Why yes, I will be teaching Quantum Mechanics I and II in the fall. B: What sort of approach will you be taking with the team? LW: If you talk to a professional bowler he would explain or she’ll explain how your own ball and your own shoes, and perfect lanes are important. I’ll be taking a similar approach, a’ight. B: With all due respect Mr. Wayne, what the hell are you talking about? LW: I’m not too sure. I’m pretty high right now. B: Does that help your game? LW: For sure dude. I’m all focused and shit. I be knockin’ pins left and right son. Yo, you got anything to eat? B: Hmmm... One cannabis-filled Wendy’s stop later, we were back at it. B: Wait, what were we talking about? LW: I dunno dude. I’m pretty messed up right now. B: Let’s get some more Wendy’s. Admittedly, it wasn’t my best interview. Nonetheless, the Grammy award-winning rapper will be coaching and teaching in the fall. The university is looking forward to welcoming Mr. Wayne to the UNB community. They are also excited for the upcoming publicity: multi-million dollar Nike and Gatorade endorsements, being featured on ESPN 8: The Ocho and, of course, the hundreds of misdemeanours and lawsuits.
American Aparrel. Stand Out.
biaswickanspoof
the biaswickan.
ourpoint
Apr, 2009 • OMG
Question: What do you like best about working for such a sweet biased publication?
“Promoting ciggies to underaged kids everywhere.” Craustian
“Student Union donations.” Tony von Richter
“I can finally do the term ‘Orwelllian’ justice.” Dan Hagerman
“Dedicating my life to furthering the agendas of the super-cute O’Kane brothers.” Sarah Ratchford
“Procuring the funds to insure this sweet moustache.” Christian Hapgood
“Josh O’Kane pays me every week to tell him how great he is.” Adam Brewer
“Using it as a soapbox to promote the American Moustache Institute.” Mandré Meade
“I would use it to promote my brother’s interests, but I won’t because he can’t grow a sweet moustache like this.” Josh O’Kane
“Nevermind, sorry. I forgot for a second that I’m expected to use the Biaswickan to be a biased asshole.” Josh O’Kane
“Giving as much coverage to United for Change as I want.” “José“
OMG • Apr. 8, 2009
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