Let’s Have a Beer and Other Very Random Thoughts “Beer he drank, seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became hilarious. His heart was glad and his face shone”. – ‘Epic of Gilgamesh’ – The oldest tale from around 300 B.C.
Let’s have, get together or meet for a beer. It’s what many delusional beer-drinking buddies say to one another. What we mean is; Let’s have a few or many beers! One beer is rarely sufficient, unless it’s in the form of a growler. Rarely do we hear; “Hey let’s have a coffee”. Instead we leave an opening for perhaps a second cup by saying, “Let’s meet for coffee”. Now, I do have friends who are more realistic and come right out and suggest we go out for beers. They stop short of suggesting we go out and drink ourselves stupid, but I like their openness. Another random beerinduced thought is; Common Beer Etiquette. Say you invite some friends over for a Beer and Food Pairing Party and a friend of one of your friends brings a sixer of Corona and some limes. It’s probably safe to say you might overlook, or even welcome someone bringing Stella Artois, Heineken or Becks and some cheese, but Corona? No way! When you think of a discolored liquid that passes through a Mexican donkey’s intestines after he washed down rotting cattle corn with a case of warm Busch Lite? (Also an Anheuser-Busch product) think Corona Extra (Extra Bad?). Yeah, like “Imported” from Mexico somehow makes it drinkable.
But back to the point; what should you do? This person is obviously a clueless cretin, so any attempts to rehabilitate his attraction to shite beer are probably a hopeless endeavor. I guess you could offer him a Stella or Heinie and hopes he at least gets the awful taste out of his mouth.
One last random beer thought:Yesterday morning, as dim, early light entered and interrupted my fading beer dreams. I began to contemplate my relationships with friends as it relates to beer. Friends whom I grew up with and still hang out with for poker, beer-drinking and fishing nights, always (ALWAYS) have a beer in hand. It’s like an extra appendage. The opposable thumb, after all, is perfectly created for grasping a glass, can or mug of beer. My friends and I have long ago agreed that when we are reminiscing about some glory days past event in our lives, we can leave out the part where we say, “we were drinking beer”. It is just assumed that we were drinking beer and we no longer need to throw that piece of information into the story. God forbid I should be rushed to the hospital, or worse, and have one of my friends try to identify me. “I’m sorry doctor, but I can’t be sure that’s my friend Don lying there. Here, put this bottle of beer in his hand, so I can be sure”. Oh yeah that’s Don! I’ve seen him like that hundreds of times! By: Don Roine
It’s always good to hang out and catch up on old times.
Friendship Magazine 2011 | pg. 22
How to Help a Friend Through a Breakup If a close friend of yours has recently split from her significant other, she may need your comfort and support more than either one of you realizes. What you say and do for her during this difficult transition can make a huge impact on how well she rebounds from the breakup. And, when chosen wisely, your words and actions can also bring you and your friend closer together.
For ideas on what you can do to help your friend cope with the change and emotions associated with breaking up, consider the following tips: Keep your opinions to yourself. That means no bashing your pal’s ex—no matter how much you disliked him or what he may have done to hurt your friend. According to Dr. Simon A. Rego, PsyD, ABPP, ACT, director of Psychology Training at Montefiore Medical Center, “Breakups are difficult and the person who was left often has mixed feelings, good and bad, about the person who left them. Attacking the former partner will invalidate what the person had felt or may still feel for them.”
Get your girl out and about. Your friend’s transition from being part of a couple to being single is a great time for you and her to reconnect and enjoy some girl time, says Dawn Maslar, author of From Heartbreak to Heart’s Desire: Developing a Healthy GPS (Guy Picking System). When inviting your friend out, Maslar recommends steering clear of places frequented by couples or events targeted at singles. “Nothing is more depressing than sitting in a group of 40 single women who are trying to get over a bad breakup,” she explains.“Instead, do things you might not do if you were in a relationship, such as see a Broadway musical or a ballet, take belly dancing classes, or go on a yoga retreat. Take a funky weekend trip, go antiquing, or visit a museum.”
Don’t push your friend into a rebound relationship. A common mistake people make when trying to help a friend cope with breaking up is encouraging her to start dating again too soon. “People need time to recover and make sense of what happens to them,” says Rego. “Pushing your friend to meet someone
new, while exciting, won’t allow her the time to emotionally process the breakup and may ultimately lead to unresolved feelings.”
Lend a helping hand. Breaking up is mentally and physically exhausting, so the more you can do to alleviate your friend’s stress the better. Dr. Amora Rachelle, president and director of Health IQ, recommends doing a few favors such as picking up dinner or running errands for her. “If your friend is moving to a new place, offer to help her pack. Once a decision has been made to move, the stress is high and it may not be pleasant behind those closed doors,” explains Rachelle. She says there are plenty of things you can do to help your friend, such as lending your company, giving her a place to stay temporarily, and helping her pack and find a place.
Let your friend think for herself. “Two people may react very differently to the same event,” says Rego. “Therefore, how you might think and feel based on what you know of the partner who ended the relationship is not necessarily correct and pushing this view on the person may ultimately make them feel worse if they don’t feel and think the same way.” By: Selena Dehne
Friendship Magazine 2011 | pg. 19
Romancing Your Girlfriend With a Gift of Perfume
“Aromatherapy perfumes avail the wearer the ability to not only wear delicious and exotic fragrances, but scents that are natural and have herbal qualities. Learn how to use scent to attract romance and love in this article. “
T
hinking about giving your girlfriend some perfume for Valentine’s Day? It’s a great idea, since perfumes can be a romantic and luxurious way of showing your affection. It is a fact that most women love perfume. There is a story behind Cleopatra, the queen of Egypt, used to greet her lover Mark Anthony on a ship that had perfumed sails. Another famous Egyptian, Queen Nefertiti, was said to always be surrounded by jars and flacons containing aromatic oils and unguents. If you already know the brand of perfume your girlfriend uses, then of course you can buy that for her as a Valentine’s Day gift or whatever the occasion for celebration may be. But why not try a little variation? Instead of just giving her a bottle of her favorite scent, why not consider giving her a bath gift basket that contains not only a bottle of perfume, but also a bath gel, talcum powder and shampoo? Don’t worry about the scents clashing, because all of the items in a bath or spa gift basket contain the same fragrance. Moreover,
many of these gift sets include other luxurious items such as chocolate and thick, soft towels—things that make the gift extraspecial. You might also consider giving her another brand or type of perfume instead of the one she regularly uses. This can also be a good idea; just make sure that the brand of scent you are considering is something that she would to receive. Finally, if the scent she regularly uses is light and fruity, giving her something that leans more towards the heavy and musky side might not be a good idea. Instead, find her something that gives off a light and fruity fragrance, though a different brands than the one she uses. Finally, while it is true price isn’t everything, it is also true that a pricey gift can go a long way towards impressing the girl of your dreams. Many women won’t admit it, but they are secretly delighted to receive a gift that is both romantic and expensive, like certain perfumes and jewelry. Want to impress and romance your girlfriend with frangrance gift sets this Valentine’s Day? Find tangible ways to say “I love you” with our gift suggestion at http://www. romanticgiftbasket.org. Scent used to attract the opposite sex and to mate. In the animal kingdom, thus the scent is a powerful agent for romance and reproduction. The art of perfumery lends it’s use from this concept. -By: Evily Lim
Romance Magazine 2011 | pg. 21
Doing things together is always a pleasure.
5 Things
Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day Daily Habit #1: Talk to Each Other
Want to know the one thing that’s most important to a successful marriage? That’s easy. Walk up to your husband and surprise him with this one-question relationship quiz: You: “Honey, what do you think is the one thing most important to a successful marriage?” Him: “Umm, uh did you say something?” And, well, there you have it.
Daily Habit #3: Get Stupid Together
Eavesdrop on a conversation between Bob and Angie concerning their favorite shared pastime.
He
rs
“We are so disgusting. This is so pathetic. It’s like a sickness.” “But it makes us happy!” “It’s so stupid it makes us laugh.” “We’re yelling at people. High-fiving each other.” “Look, we get a kick out of it because it’s so ridiculous. It’s our guilty pleasure.” Forgive them if they seem somewhat shy, but they’re merely ashamed to admit that the daily ritual that brings such joy to their 12-year marriage is none other than reality TV. That’s right. They lived and died with Survivor. They’ve adopted Big Brother. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? They do.
Daily Habit #2: Flirt
Back when you were 14 years old, you probably figured that once you got married, you’d have sex just about every day. (Well, maybe teenage girls don’t think that way. But let me tell you, 14-year-old boys sure do.) And why not? Sex is free. It’s fun. And it doesn’t require the purchase of any equipment, besides the occasional bottle of vegetable oil and about 20 feet of nylon rope.
Daily Habit #4: Declare Your Independence
So hold on, then: Is domestic joy found in partners smothering each other in obsessive daily rituals (“Honey, don’t forget, at 7:15 we have our nightly cuddle, followed by the affirmation of our vows, our 7:35 spontaneous flirtation, and then, of course, a new episode of Deal Or No Deal at eight”)? Hardly. In fact, Tessina says that sleep walking through a series of hollow routines (although probably an apt description of your day job) is worse for your marriage than having no routines at all. The solution, she says, is to also make a daily habit of getting away from each other.
His
“You know that old saying, ‘How can I miss you if you don’t go away?’” Tessina asks. “Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner can’t fill in for you, for example, one of you likes classical music, the other one likes sports. Plus, taking a break from each other gives you more things to talk about, because when you’re joined at the hip, what’s to talk about? You’ve already seen it all.”
“Honestly, I think we just need to be dumb for a while,” says Bob, 37, a shoe designer for Reebok in Boston. “We’re both very into our careers. And when you’re at work, with any job there’s going to be a certain amount The point, naturally, is not to make space for each other of professional stress. You like to come home sometimes in that I-can’t-wait-to-get-away-from-you sort of way and, for that lousy hour or whatever, kick back and relax.” but to pursue your own hobbies and interests. It’s a distinction that Joe tried hard to make to Lori during their Or as Angie, 36, a marketing executive, says, “Life is delicate pre-engagement negotiations four years ago. serious enough, isn’t it? Sometimes you need to do something stupid. And if you can’t be stupid with your “As a woman, you get this message that when you get husband, who can you be stupid with?” married, you spend every single waking second with your husband and you’re so unbelievably happy,” says Lori, 34. “And my parents actually do spend every single waking second together, and oddly enough, they are happy. So that’s how I grew up thinking you were supposed to be. But when I told him this, Joe was like, ‘I-don’t-think-so.”
Daily Habit #5: Share a Spiritual Moment
In another University of Chicago survey, this one of married couples, 75 percent of the Americans who pray with their spouses reported that their marriages are “very happy” (compared to 57 percent of those who don’t). Those who pray together are also more likely to say they respect each other, discuss their marriage together, and — stop the presses — rate their spouses as skilled lovers. Not to say that prayer is a cure for all that ails you (were that the case, my beloved Oakland Raiders would have won the Super Bowl years ago). But whether they’re talking about a simple grace at dinner time or some soulsearching meditation, couples routinely say that a shared spiritual life helps keep them close. And as Doug and Beth say, even couples who are on different sides of the theological fence can benefit from praying together daily. “We have been married for seven years, but praying together is something we didn’t start doing until about a year ago,” says Doug, a 32-year-old Salt Lake City biochemist. “In the past, whenever we faced big decisions, we’d have discussion after discussion about them, but we’d never really come to a resolution.” After two 1,000-mile moves, the birth of three children, and two job changes, all in the past four years, those difficult decisions had begun to take a toll. So when Beth asked Doug, a nonreligious and self-proclaimed man of science, to try praying with her, he figured they had nothing to lose. “I soon found that praying together brings out a real sense of selflessness and humility,” Doug says. “When you’re praying for each other, not yourself, you’re focused together and speaking from the heart on a whole different level. I would never have predicted this for us, but it really works.” “As bad as any problem may seem at that moment,” agrees Beth, “prayer always helps us see beyond it. It doesn’t have to be a long-drawn-out scripture reading, just a few minutes a day. When we pray, it brings another level of honesty to our conversations. I think it’s the most intimate thing you can do with another person.” -By Ty Wenger
Romance Magazine 2011 | pg. 19