9 minute read
SELLING WITH KAHLE
The lost art of saying “NO”
Imore and more business people have lost the ability to say no. See if this experience doesn’t sound familiar. I had met with an individual, talked with him personally, and invited him to a small group meeting. e came, interacted positively, and indicated he would commit to being a part of the ongoing meeting. Then, he went dark. For three weeks, he would not return phone calls nor reply to emails. From my perspective, he dropped off the planet.
Now, we all know what happened. For whatever reason, he had a change of mind. Instead of honestly communicating that—telling me NO—he chose to communicate his change of mind by not communicating at all.
For some reason, he couldn’t say no. I wish this one instance, and this one person, were a rare case—an exception to the general rule. Unfortunately, he is hardly the exception. I have this experience a least once a month. Someone with whom I have had several conversations literally drops off the planet and goes dark.
Evidently, much of the business community has lost the ability to say no.
That’s too bad. Being able to say no is a higher level skill that is advantageous in both business as well as life in general. Those who don’t master the art of saying no are forever doomed to an immaturity in their business skills, while those who can and do say no operate at a higher level of skill and social finesse.
Let’s look at no from two perspectives: First the person who is spoken to, the receiver of no, and second, let’s look at it from the perspective of the no-sayer.
When you are on the receiving end of “no,” initially it doesn’t feel good. It confirms rejection. owever, it is quick, decisive and you know where you stand. While you may wonder about the motives of the no-sayer, you can respect him or her for honestly communicating.
The alternative is far more detrimental. The person who could say no chooses instead to avoid the word. That usually means they avoid communication, and just drop out of the loop.
Now you’re left with reaching out to them. ou make multiple calls, emails, leave phone messages, reach out through social media. So, the process of finally understanding that the lack of communication really means no can take weeks of effort. The lack of hearing an honest no is a time-consuming, time-wasting process.
In my sales seminars, I often remark that the biggest time wasters are not the people who say no, it’s the people who never say no. ou are left with a number of negative impressions. The strategy of going dark and hiding really degrades both of you. First, you have to question the person’s lack of courage and thwarted social skills. Really, this is how you were raised? ou can’t help but view the hider as less of a person.
Then, of course, you realize that the lack of no carries with it the message that this person really doesn’t think very highly of you. e she has no respect for you, and thinks nothing of wasting your time, and squandering your emotional energy on this relationship.
The net result of hiding instead of saying no is that both of you are diminished.
Let’s look at it from the no-sayer’s perspective. iding from communication is really an immature response. It indicates a lack of social skills, and an undeveloped personal identity. As a communication strategy, it causes all the negative repercussions discussed above.
On the other hand, the ability to say no is a higher order skill, indicative of a more mature, more developed psyche. When you can, quickly and decisively, say no, it indi-
cates that you have a focus and a set of guidelines to shape your decisions. The decision being considered doesn’t fit those guidelines, so a prompt no allows you and the other person to move along.
“No” is a time management strategy. There is only so much time, and the demands on our time are greater now than at any time in the past. Saying no to something that is clearly outside of your focus, that doesn’t move you closer to your vision or your goals, is a powerful time management technique. When you say no, you free your time, and your emotional and intellectual energy to invest in something that is closer to what you want. Not deciding, or deciding and not communicating, adds hours of wasted eff ort.
If we played with every off er made to us, if we entertained every “too good to be true” deal in today’s barrage of emails, we would be spinning our wheels forever. The enemy of the best thing is the good thing, and we need to cultivate the ability to say no to those off ers and people who sound good, but ultimately direct our attention away from the best.
The ability to say no is a higher order skill, indicative of a mature personality who knows what he she wants, and has the personal presence to communicate that directly.
Unfortunately, there are few who meet that standard.
NLBMDA, LMC, Mass Timber Events Pivot to Virtual
Despite holding on to hope that they could proceed with a live event, in January several more groups made the call to move their spring events online, including National Lumber & Building Material Dealers Association, LMC and the Mass Timber Conference.
NLBMDA had already postponed its Industry Summit from last fall to this April in Washington, D.C. It now will be held virtually May 19-21.
LMC’s weeklong annual meeting— originally planned for Phoenix, Az.— will be virtual from March 22-26. It will feature familiar events in a digital setting with virtual booths, education seminars, a keynote speaker, new products, new program opportunities, and the ability to meet with LMC dealers in a virtual platform.
This is the fi rst time that the buying group’s annual meeting will be held virtually, but last year it successfully hosted the fi rst virtual editions of the Hardware Express in August and the LMC Expo in November, both breaking attendance records.
Similarly, the 6th Annual 2021 International Mass Timber Conference will be virtual, March 30–April 1, and expects the change to drive even greater global attendance. Over 900 attendees from 15 countries are already registered.
The 2021 Mass Timber Conference will feature over 40 industry presenters, offering real-world information necessary for mass timber businesses and projects.
Among the highlights: a bestin-class keynote forecast from construction research analyst Ivy Zelman and Antony Wood, CEO of the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat, discussing mass timber’s role in super skyscrapers and in the increasingly vertical cities of the future. Unfortunately, there are few who
– Dave Kahle is a high-content consultant, instructor, presenter and author of 12 books, including ow to Sell Anything to Anyone Anytime. Reach him at dave@ davekahle.com.
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GANAHL LUMBER PASADENA, CA
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Eff ective an. 1, 0 1, the state of California now classifi es treated wood waste as a hazardous material, which can no longer be disposed of at any place except a Class I azardous Waste Landfi ll.
According to the West Coast Lumber Building Material Association, commercial haulers have already notifi ed the epartment of Environmental ealth and many customers that they will be rejecting loads where they see treated wood in waste containers.
All hazardous treated wood waste managed in California now must be “stored and manifested as hazardous waste and transported to Class I hazardous waste landfi lls.”
For all California companies that generate treated wood waste, the epartment of Environmental ealth recommends: Separating treated wood from non-treated wood during demolition. Cutting any removed treated wood during demolition so that it will fi t into a container for storage.
Non-treated wood can continue to be handled as previously.
Treated wood waste should now be: Placed in a container (for example a cubic yard box, triwall, 0 or 0 yard roll off bin); Covered when not adding waste to the container; Marked with the following information: o The words “ A AR OUS WASTE” o our company’s name and address o The words “TREATE WOO ” o The word “TO IC”
o The date you started putting the treated wood waste in the container Removed from your site by a hazardous waste hauler within 1 0 days
Industry representatives are currently working with the State epartment of Toxic Substances Control ( TSC) to address this issue. The TSC expects a short-term solution between the end of February and the middle of March.
The new restrictions went into eff ect with the expiration of the TSC’s Treated Wood Waste program, which authorized safe disposal of pressure treated wood products by conventional methods. Last fall, Governor Newsom vetoed Senate Bill .
The industry backed extension of a more robust version of the program through Senate Bill , which was vetoed by Governor Newsom last fall. SB would have allowed treated wood waste to continue to be accpted at Class II and III landfi lls. It also would have required the wood preserving industry to, in consultation with the TSC, maintain an internet website and prepare fact sheets and other outreach materials on the appropriate handling, disposal and other management of treated wood waste for generators of treated wood waste and for facilities that may receive or handle treated wood waste. The treating industry would also have had to annually update, renew and distribute the outreach materials, and keep the TSC updated on their distribution.
Newsom attributed his veto to the high cost of implementing the program and his opinion that SB would have “(exempted) this hazardous waste from hazardous waste law and regulation.”
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