V.gabond Editorials

Bv Jack Dionne

A sawrnill friend of mine from New Orleans writes me that things are so bad over there the Mississippi River is only running three days a week. +*:F

Here is the prize optimist story of the day. Abe-"How is business?" Ik+"Fing! I'm twenty per cent ahead df next year."

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Jumping from windows continues to be a very popular sport among leading business men. I've about decided to give it a try myself. The only trouble is, I haven't been able to find a window close enough to the ground. Saw one in a low type bungalow the other day that rnight do, the sill was not over tw'o feet from the earth. But even then, one might sprain one's anklg mightn't one?

:F{<*

In Spokang Washingto4, the other night, they read over the radio the first page of the May First Vagabond Editorials, on the subject, "The Law of Cornpensation fs a Good Law." Gave us credit, too. That's more than lots of folks do.

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It is just some possible that sorne day the Scripture will be fulfilled, and "the noeek will inherit the earth f' but I'm afraid it won't do them much good. The un-meek will take it away from them-pronto.

Ifere's the way the hard.-hittingest, go-g€ttingest sales folks now on top of this over-sold earth of ours-the electric refrigerator people-define their own particular prospect file:

Ten years ago there were ten million electrically wired homes in the United States. Today there are fi,venty million. Ten years ago there were NO electric refrigerators. Today there are three million. Potential prospect list today, seventeen million wired hornes. And, f suppose, they figure the future THIS way: thirty millioq wired homes in 1940, or turenty-seven million prospects from this date. And now, folks, let's US get busy and sell those ten million new homes between now and 1940, and rebuild and repair and remadel the majority of thoee already built.

Now, folks, we hear a lot abgut the necessig fm "balancing the budget" in, all directions. There's one particular budget that balances too well-the budget of wheat and whiskers. The farmer brings a bushel of wheat into town and sells it for two'bits; then he pays the twebits to a barber for a shave. And so long as a farmer has to sell a bushel of wheat to buy a shave he'll want to quit raijing wheat and go to raising whiskers. Why not? ***

When this depression is over there is oni particular phrase that I'm going to personally petition Congress to put on a special index expurgatorious ("black list," to you). That's this never ending bromid+"Everything's going to be dl right." f'm getting so I look around for a rock every time I hear it. ***

Capt. Robert Dollar of San Francisco, one of the greatest men the lumber industry has known, died the other day. Peter B. Kyne tells of the time about a year ago when Capt. Dollar was stricken with the illness that finally killed him" He called in his three boys, and in the bedroom of his home where he lay, there were two flags unfurled; the Stars and Stripes, and the Dollar flag. He read to them from the Bible, then pointed to the two fags, and said: "Ydll keep them both fyin', lads."

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"A very old-tfashioned, simple old man," says Kyne, "true to God and country. Quite satisfied that he had done the best he could, but sad because it wasn't enough. Grand old Scot !" You will probably remember that Peter B. Kyne's name first came to fame and fortune through his famous "Cappy Ricks" stories. And the "Cappy Riclrs" he wrote about, was his friend, Captain Robert Dollar. Once, before Kyne became famous as a writer, Captain Dollar hired him to be Shanghai manager for the Dollar interests; then changed his mind. When Peter became famous, Capt. Dollar recalled this to him, saying: "Peter, I'm thinkin' f was very Hnd to you. You do better writin' about ships than managin' them."

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