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OVER THE PAST 32 YEARS, ASSEMBLYMAN DOV
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The objective of sudoku is to enter a digit from 1 through 9 in each cell, in such a way that: Each horizontal row contains each digit exactly once Each vertical column contains each digit exactly once Each subgrid or region contains each digit exactly once
The puzzler’s job is to fill the remainder of the grid with digits –respecting, of course, the three constraints mentioned earlier.
HARD
In each sudoku puzzle, several digits have already been entered (the “givens”); these may not be changed.
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Health
Are You Falling for These
Food Label Lies?
How food-label savvy are you? Although food labels are regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), cutting through the fat (ha!) to understand the fine print can be difficult for even the sharpest of grocery shoppers. Here are 10 sneaky ways food manufacturers cash in on your healthy intentions:
1
If the label says “0 grams trans fat...”
A mad-scientist project gone wrong, trans fats are created in a lab by partially hydrogenating healthier oils. This process destroys the many good benefits of the original fats. What’s worse, consuming trans fats raises your risk for heart disease and metabolic syndrome. Most nutritionists recommend avoiding them altogether, which doesn’t sound so hard except current labeling guidelines allow manufacturers to round anything less than 0.5g/serving down to zero. Eat more than a few servings, and you’ve consumed a significant amount of the Frankenfood. AVOID IT: Anything that says “partially hydrogenated oil,” “hydrogenated vegetable oil,” or “shortening” on the ingredients list contains trans fats, no matter what the label says.
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2
If the label says “all natural...”
You may think buying an “all natural” chicken is better than buying its unlabeled counterpart, but the truth is that “natural” has no legal definition, meaning that companies can stick the phrase on anything they want. AVOID IT: Check the ingredients list and product label for what you’re most concerned about. “USDA-certified organic” means the food has met certain guidelines. You can also check for genetically modified ingredients (if it doesn’t specifically say it is non-GMO and it is corn or soy, then it likely is), artificial colorings and flavors, or preservatives.
3
If the label says “packed with antioxidants...”
Antioxidants, the latest health wunderkind, are amazing little nutrients and enzymes that inhibit the potentially harmful (but inevitable) process of cellular oxidation. You don’t have to understand all the science to know they’re incredibly good for you, with everything from anti-cancer to anti-aging benefits. The problem is that this label does not have a formal definition. When you see “packed with antioxidants,” it usually means that the food was either made with something that once had antioxidants in it — like fruit juice used for coloring cereal — or that the food was fortified with some vitamins. Unfortunately nutrients extracted from food don’t have all the health benefits of nutrients eaten in their natural state. AVOID IT: Whole fruits and vegetables are the best sources of antioxidants — and are easy to recognize.
4
If the label says “made with real fruit...”
Everyone knows that fresh fruits and veggies are healthy. Sadly, manufacturers take advantage of that trust by slapping this label on anything with a fruit product in it. This may include fruit concentrates, which are essentially just sugar and things like beet juice for coloring. Many popular fruit roll ups are mostly high-fructose corn syrup and food coloring. Sure, some “real” fruit might be in there, but it certainly doesn’t have the benefits of an actual piece of fruit. AVOID IT: Eat real, whole fruits and vegetables. They should have exactly one ingredient.
5
If the label says “made with whole grains...” Whole grains are great for providing essential minerals, fiber, and energy. All this label means is that there are some whole grains somewhere in the product, with typical white flour—confusingly called “enriched wheat flour”—as the main ingredient.
AVOID IT: Check the ingredients list. Whole wheat (or some other grain) should be listed first. Ideally it should be the only type of grain used. “100 percent whole grain” is defined by the USDA and means exactly what it says. Look for this label on foods and don’t get confused by those that say “8g of whole grains per serving!” They’re just trying to distract you from the fact that it’s not made with only whole grains.
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6
If the label says “reduced-fat” or “fat-free...”
While fats aren’t the dietary demon they were made out to be in the past, many health-conscious consumers still seek lower-fat or fat-free options. But since removing fat also removes flavor, many companies replace fat with sugar. This label is often used as a smoke screen to give an otherwise unhealthy food, like gummy bears, an aura of health. Of course gummy bears have never been made with fat; they’re pure sugar.
7
If the label says “free range” or “vegetarian fed eggs...”
Who doesn’t prefer to think of happy chickens roaming merrily through a barnyard getting fed by a singing Snow White? The truth is that factory chickens are kept in very tight quarters and “free range” only means they had access to an open door, not that they ever used it. Also, “vegetarian fed” is not a good thing. Chickens are natural omnivores and when they are forced to eat a vegetarian diet (often consisting of processed soy), their eggs contain less nutrition.
AVOID IT: If you are truly concerned about buying fresh, organic, natural, or free-range eggs, local farmers are your best bet. Look for them at farmers’ markets or find one on LocalHarvest.org. Even if the farm isn’t certified organic, many small farmers use the highest standards and are happy to have you come check out their farm.
AVOID IT: Don’t be afraid to eat healthy fats in your diet. Even some saturated fats like those found in coconut oil and grass-fed dairy have significant health benefits. Plus, fat is satiating. In the end, you’ll eat less and enjoy it more!
8
If the label says “sugar-free...”
Sugar is fine in moderation, but many processed foods contain much more — and in different places than you’d expect. Since ingredients are required to be listed in descending order of quantity on food labels, manufacturers often break up the sugar into smaller amounts of lesser-known sugars , making the food appear healthier. Another issue is that real sugar is often replaced with artificial sweeteners, which can cause bloating and stomach discomfort. AVOID IT: Nutritionally speaking, there isn’t not a huge difference between different types of sneaky sugars, so knowing the pseudonyms is half the battle. While there are more than 50 names for the sweet stuff, common tricky ones include brown rice syrup, barley malt, caramel, fructose, fruit juice concentrate, and anything involving corn syrup.
10
Calorie counts and serving sizes:
The number of calories per serving is usually the first thing people read when they look at a food label. But beware: The USDA allows manufactures to use an estimate that can be up to 20 percent off! And because the serving size is a minimum amount rather than an exact amount, it’s more likely that the food has more calories per serving than the label leads you to believe. AVOID IT: If you’re being very conscious of calories, some nutritionists recommend automatically adding 10 percent as a buffer and carefully weighing and measuring your food. A more reasonable approach: Listen carefully to your sense of fullness and stop eating when you’re satisfied — even if you haven’t finished a whole serving.
9
If the label says “no nitrates...”
Nitrates, nitrites, and other artificial preservatives are definitely bad for you, increasing the risk of certain cancers by up to 50 percent. Unfortunately while consumers are getting wise to the evils of nitrates, they’re still overlooking other problematic preservatives. AVOID IT: Check the labels, especially those of processed meats like lunch meats and sausages, for BHA, BHT, benzoates, sulfates, and sorbates, among others.
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An open letter to the family of an upcoming simcha:
Most of your friends are missing important pictures!
My name is David Friedman from Friedman’s Photography. I know that the fact above sounds shocking, but after speaking to thousands of people who have had pictures made at their simchas and seeing samples of thousands of simcha photos, I have seen that most simchas miss important pictures. We all know that missing pictures can wreak havoc in Shulem Bayis and ruin the relationship with family members of whom important pictures weren’t taken and hope that it does not happen to us. After doing extensive research to find out why such important pictures were missing in such a large percentage of weddings I have found that the main reason was that: Nobody took the time to find out what pictures were important to you until after the simcha when it was already too late, and just like everything in life no picture can be taken for granted if it was not discussed. Friedman’s Photography, which is the studio I founded Bezras Hashem, has been around doing quality photography since 1988. We have the expertise and knowledge which has been built up by serving the community for close to 30 years, and with this background I personally guarantee that any picture that you dream of will be taken at your simcha. We have used our experience to put together a formula to make sure that every person that hires us will receive 100% full coverage of all their dream pictures at any simcha and to offer our 100% Full coverage guarantee.
100% Full coverage guarantee We guarantee that any picture that you dream of will be taken at the simcha
How does it work? After you book Friedman’s photography for your simcha you will need to schedule our unique “Discuss Your Dreams” pre simcha consultation. We recommend that anyone you want to satisfy with pictures of your simcha should be at the consultation including: Chosen, Kallah, both sets of parents, or bar mitzvah boy & any sibling, grandparent, aunt etc. that you would want to satisfy with the pictures. At the “Discuss Your Dreams” consultation, you will meet with a photography expert- an expert in what is available in photography- where the photography expert will explain to you what is available based on the plan you chose and what is the most popular while listening to you with the goal of helping you to clarify your dreams, needs, and wants. The photography expert will help you clearly state what you want and that will save you a lot of headaches trying to figure it on your own. You will also be spared the aggravation of not getting the pictures that were important to you when the simcha is over.
At the simcha! All your dream photographs will be taken iy”h.
Call right away 718-43-PHOTO (718-437-4686) to book your simcha photography with full coverage. Thank You for your time,
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The Fascinating Origin Of Almost Every Jewish Last Name
A
shkenazic Jews were among the last Europeans to take family names. Some Germanspeaking Jews took last names as early as the 17th century, but the overwhelming majority of Jews lived in Eastern Europe and did not take last names until compelled to do so. The process began in the Austro-Hungarian Empire in 1787 and ended in Czarist Russia in 1844. In attempting to build modern nation-states, the authorities insisted that Jews take last names so that they could be taxed, drafted, and educated (in that order of importance). For centuries, Jewish communal leaders were responsible for collecting taxes from the Jewish population on behalf of the government, and in some cases were responsible for filling draft quotas. Education was traditionally an internal Jewish affair. Until this period, Jewish names generally changed with every generation. For example, if Moses son of Mendel (Moyshe ben Mendel) married Sarah daughter of Rebecca (Sara bat rivka), and they had a boy and named it Samuel (Shmuel), the child would be called
BY Bennett Muraskin
Shmuel ben Moyshe. If they had a girl and named her Feygele, she would be called Feygele bas Sora. Jews distrusted the authorities and resisted the new requirement. Although they were forced to take last names, at first they were used only for official purposes. Among themselves, they kept their traditional names. Over time, Jews accepted the new last names, which were essential as Jews sought to advance within the broader society and as the shtetles were transformed or Jews left them for big cities. The easiest way for Jews to assume an official last name was to adapt the name they already had, making it permanent. This explains the use of “patronymics” and “matronymics.”
PATRONYMICS (son of ...)
In Yiddish or German, “son” would be denoted by “son” or “sohn” or “er.” In most Slavic languages, like Polish or Russian, it would be “wich” or “witz.” For example: The son of Mendel took the last name Mendelsohn; the son of Abraham became Abramson or Avromovitch; the son of Menashe became Manishewitz; the son of
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Itzhak became Itskowitz; the son of Berl took the name Berliner; the son of Kesl took the name Kessler, etc. MATRONYMICS (daughter of …) Reflecting the prominence of Jewish women in business, some families made last names out of women’s first names: Chaiken — son of Chaikeh; Edelman — husband of Edel; Gittelman — husband of Gitl; Glick or Gluck — may derive from Glickl, a popular woman’s name as in the famous “Glickl of Hameln,” whose memoirs, written around 1690, are an early example of Yiddish literature. Gold/Goldman/Gulden may derived from Golda; Malkov from Malke; Perlman — husband of Perl; Rivken — may derive from Rivke; Soronsohn—son of Sarah.
PLACE NAMES
The next most common source of Jewish last names is probably places. Jews used the town or region where they lived, or where their families came from, as their last name. As a result, the Germanic origins of most East European Jews is reflected in their names.
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For example, Asch is an acronym for the towns of Aisenshtadt or Altshul orAmshterdam. Other place-based Jewish names include: Auerbach/Orbach; Bacharach; Berger (generic for townsman); Berg(man), meaning from a hilly place; Bayer — from Bavaria; Bamberger; Berliner, Berlinsky — from Berlin; Bloch (foreigner); Brandeis; Breslau; Brodsky; Brody; Danziger; Deutch/Deutscher — German; Dorf(man), meaning villager; Eisenberg; Epstein; Florsheim; Frankel — from the Franconia region of Germany; Frankfurter; Ginsberg; Gordon — from Grodno, Lithuania or from the Russian word gorodin, for townsman; Greenberg; Halperin— from Helbronn, Germany; Hammerstein; Heller — from Halle, Germany; Hollander — not from Holland, but from a town in Lithuania settled by the Dutch; Horowitz, Hurwich, Gurevitch — from Horovice in Bohemia; Koenigsberg; Krakauer — from Cracow, Poland; Landau; Lipsky — from Leipzig, Germany; Litwak — from Lithuania; Minsky — from Minsk, Belarus; Mintz—from Mainz, Germany; Oppenheimer; Ostreicher — from Austria; Pinsky — from Pinsk, Belarus; Posner — from Posen, Germany; Prager — from Prague; Rappoport — from Porto, Italy; Rothenberg — from the town of the red fortress in Germany; Shapiro — from Speyer, Germany; Schlesinger — from Silesia, Germany; Steinberg; Unger — from Hungary; Vilner — from Vilna, Poland/Lithuania; Wallach— from Bloch, derived from the Polish word for foreigner; Warshauer/ Warshavsky — from Warsaw; Wiener — from Vienna; Weinberg. OCCUPATIONAL NAMES
Craftsmen/Workers
Ackerman — plowman; Baker/ Boker — baker; Blecher — tinsmith; Fleisher/Fleishman/Katzoff/ Metger — butcher; Cooperman —
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coppersmith; Drucker — printer; Einstein — mason; Farber — painter/dyer; Feinstein — jeweler; Fisher — fisherman; Forman — driver/teamster; Garber/Gerber — tanner; Glazer/Glass/Sklar — glazier; Goldstein — goldsmith; Graber — engraver; Kastner — cabinetmaker; Kunstler — artist; Kramer — storekeeper; Miller — miller; Nagler — nailmaker; Plotnick — carpenter; Sandler/Shuster — shoemaker; Schmidt/Kovalsky — blacksmith; Shnitzer — carver; Silverstein — jeweler; Spielman — player (musician?); Stein/Steiner/ Stone — jeweler; Wasserman — water carrier.
Merchants
Garfinkel/Garfunkel — diamond dealer; Holzman/Holtz/Waldman — timber dealer; Kaufman — merchant; Rokeach — spice merchant; Salzman — salt merchant; Seid/Seidman—silk merchant; Tabachnik — snuff seller; Tuchman — cloth merchant; Wachsman — wax dealer; Wechsler/Halphan — money changer; Wollman — wool merchant; Zucker/Zuckerman — sugar merchant.
Related to tailoring
Kravitz/Portnoy/Schneider/ Snyder — tailor; Nadelman/ Nudelman — also tailor, but from “needle”; Sher/Sherman — also tailor, but from “scissors” or “shears”; Presser/Pressman — clothing presser; Futterman/ Kirshner/Kushner/Peltz — furrier; Weber — weaver.
Medical
Aptheker — druggist; Feldsher — surgeon; Bader/Teller — barber.
Related to liquor trade
Bronfman/Brand/Brandler/ Brenner — distiller; Braverman/ Meltzer — brewer; Kabakoff/ Krieger/Vigoda — tavern keeper; Geffen — wine merchant; Wine/ Weinglass — wine merchant; Weiner — wine maker.
Religious/Communal
Altshul/Althshuler — associated with the old synagogue in Prague; Cantor/Kazan/Singer/Spivack — cantor or song leader in shul; Feder/Federman/Schreiber — scribe; Haver — from haver (court official); Klausner — rabbi for small congregation; Klopman — calls people to morning prayers by knocking on their window shutters; Lehrer/Malamud/ Malmud — teacher; Rabin — rabbi (Rabinowitz—son of rabbi); London — scholar, from the Hebrew lamden(misunderstood by immigration inspectors); Reznick — ritual slaughterer; Richter — judge; Sandek — godfather; Schechter/ Schachter/Shuchter etc. — ritual slaughterer from Hebrew schochet; Shofer/Sofer/Schaeffer — scribe; Shulman/Skolnick — sexton; Spector — inspector or supervisor of schools.
PERSONAL TRAITS
Alter/Alterman — old; Dreyfus—three legged, perhaps referring to someone who walked with a cane; Erlich — honest; Frum — devout ; Gottleib — God lover, perhaps referring to someone very devout; Geller/Gelber — yellow, perhaps referring to someone with blond hair; Gross/Grossman — big; Gruber — coarse or vulgar; Feifer/Pfeifer — whistler; Fried/Friedman—happy; Hoch/ Hochman/Langer/Langerman — tall; Klein/Kleinman — small; Koenig — king, perhaps someone who was chosen as a “Purim King,” in reality a poor wretch; Krauss — curly, as in curly hair; Kurtz/Kurtzman — short; Reich/Reichman — rich; Reisser — giant; Roth/Rothman — red head; Roth/Rothbard — red beard; Shein/Schoen/Schoenman — pretty, handsome; Schwartz/ Shwartzman/Charney — black hair or dark complexion; Scharf/ Scharfman — sharp, i.e intelligent; Stark — strong, from the Yiddish shtark ; Springer — lively person,
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from the Yiddish springen for jump.
INSULTING NAMES
These were sometimes foisted on Jews who discarded them as soon as possible, but a few may remain: Billig — cheap; Gans — goose; Indyk — goose; Grob — rough/ crude; Kalb — cow.
ANIMAL NAMES
It is common among all peoples to take last names from the animal kingdom. Baer/Berman/Beerman/ Berkowitz/Beronson — bear; Adler — eagle (may derive from reference to an eagle in Psalm 103:5); Einhorn — unicorn; Falk/Sokol/Sokolovksy — falcon; Fink — finch; Fuchs/Liss — fox; Gelfand/Helfand — camel (technically means elephant but was used for camel too); Hecht— pike; Hirschhorn — deer antlers; Karp — carp; Loeb — lion; Ochs— ox; Strauss — ostrich (or bouquet of flowers); Wachtel — quail.
HEBREW NAMES
Some Jews either held on to or adopted traditional Jewish names from the Bible and Talmud. The big two are Cohen (Cohn, Kohn, Kahan, Kahn, Kaplan) and Levi (Levy, Levine, Levinsky, Levitan, Levenson, Levitt, Lewin, Lewinsky, Lewinson). Others include: Aaron — Aronson, Aronoff; Asher; Benjamin; David — Davis, Davies; Ephraim — Fishl; Emanuel — Mendel; Isaac — Isaacs, Isaacson/Eisner; Jacob — Jacobs, Jacobson, Jacoby; Judah — Idelsohn, Udell,Yudelson; Mayer/ Meyer; Menachem — Mann, Mendel; Reuben — Rubin; Samuel — Samuels, Zangwill; Simon — Schimmel; Solomon — Zalman.
HEBREW ACRONYMS
Names based on Hebrew acronyms include: Baron — bar
aron (son of Aaron); Beck —bene kedoshim (descendant of martyrs); Getz — gabbai tsedek (righteous synagogue official); Katz — kohen tsedek (righteous priest); Metz — moreh tsedek (teacher of righteousness); Sachs, Saks — zera kodesh shemo (his name descends from martyrs); Segal — se gan levia (second-rank Levite).
OTHER HEBREWand YIDDISH-DERIVED NAMES
Lieb means “lion” in Yiddish. It is the root of many Ashkenazic last names, including Liebowitz, Lefkowitz, Lebush, and Leon. It is the Yiddish translation of the Hebrew word for lion — aryeh. The lion was the symbol of the tribe of Judah. Hirsch means “deer” or “stag” in Yiddish. It is the root of many Ashkenazic last names, including Hirschfeld, Hirschbein/Hershkowitz (son of Hirsch), Hertz/Herzl, Cerf, Hart, and Hartman. It is the Yiddish translation of the Hebrew word for gazelle: tsvi. The gazelle was the symbol of the tribe of Naphtali. Taub means “dove” in Yiddish. It is the root of the Ashkenazic last name Tauber. The symbol of the dove is associated with the prophet Jonah. Wolf is the root of the Ashkenazic last names Wolfson, Wouk, and Volkovich. The wolf was the symbol of the tribe of Benjamin. Eckstein — Yiddish for cornerstone, derived from Psalm 118:22. Good(man) — Yiddish translation of the Hebrew word for “good”: tuviah. Margolin — Hebrew for “pearl.”
INVENTED ‘FANCY SHMANCY’ NAMES
When Jews in the AustroHungarian Empire were required
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to assume last names, some chose the nicest ones they could think of and may have been charged a registration fee by the authorities. According to the YIVO Encyclopedia, “The resulting names often are associated with nature and beauty. It is very plausible that the choices were influenced by the general romantic tendencies of German culture at that time.” These names include: Applebaum — apple tree; Birnbaum — pear tree; Buchsbaum — box tree; Kestenbaum — chestnut tree; Kirshenbaum — cherry tree; Mandelbaum — almond tree; Nussbaum — nut tree; Tannenbaum — fir tree; Teitelbaum — palm tree. Other names, chosen or purchased, were combinations with these roots:Blumen (flower), Fein (fine), Gold, Green, Lowen (lion), Rosen (rose), Schoen/Schein (pretty) — combined with berg (hill or mountain), thal (valley), bloom (flower), zweig (wreath), blatt (leaf), vald or wald (woods), feld (field). Miscellaneous other names included Diamond; Glick/Gluck — luck; Hoffman — hopeful; Fried/ Friedman — happiness; Lieber/ Lieberman — lover. Jewish family names from nonJewish languages included: Sender/ Saunders — from Alexander; Kagan — descended from the Khazars, a Turkic-speaking people from Central Asia; Kelman/Kalman — from the Greek name Kalonymous, the Greek translation of the Hebrew shem tov (good name), popular among Jews in medieval France and Italy; Marcus/Marx — from Latin, referring to the pagan god Mars. Finally, there were Jewish names changed or shortened by immigration inspectors or by immigrants themselves (or their descendants) to sound more American, which is why “Sean Ferguson” was a Jew.
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HealtH Not Just A Diet By Esther Dahan
artificial
SWEETENERS We know them by a variety of names – Splenda, Nutrasweet, Equal, Sweet’N Low, and more – and we know all about their claim to enhance weight loss, but are they really everything they seem?
The Not-So-Sweet Side of Sugar
Most of us, even those of us who still ingest sugar, know pretty much what’s wrong with it. It can cause weight gain, for starters. Although the 46 calories in a tablespoon of sugar in your morning coffee aren’t likely to be the major cause of you packing on the pounds, those calories add up a lot quicker when delivered by the cupful into cakes and other desserts. Many studies have indicated that a daily intake of twenty teaspoons of sugar can cause diabetes after fifteen to twenty years. Twenty teaspoons may seem like a lot, but sugar hides in many commonly eaten foods such as bread, ketchup, salad dressing – and even health foods, like rye crackers. Of course, just one giant soda will give you the whole amount in a few slurps. Furthermore, the problem is not confined to weight gain and diabetes; a wide variety of physical illnesses could be avoided or their symptoms ameliorated simply by staying away from sugar. In addition, more and more studies are suggesting a strong link between over-consumption of highsugar foods and development of mental illness – from “lowgrade” behavioral problems such as hyperactivity to fullblown disorders such as bipolar and clinical depression. Many parents and teachers can attest to the negative effects of sugar ingestion on children’s behavior, although unfortunately, far too few doctors recommend dietary changes before prescribing mind-altering medication such as Ritalin or Concerta. Or, for those who do opt to make some changes, they take a different type of pill instead…
Artificial Effects
Like most people, my introduction to artificial sweeteners was disappointing. As an image-conscious teenager, diet cola seemed like the answer to my dreams. Sweetened with saccharin, it promised the same great taste but without the calories. I tried it. It was awful… A later experiment sweetening coffee with aspartame had a different result – instead of weird-tasting sweetness it was simply bitter. Sucralose, on the other hand, tasted great in coffee and tea, but was terrible for baking; cakes fell flat – literally. Store-bought goodies made with artificial sweeteners were also a let-down; desserts just didn’t taste as good (or tasted plain awful) and those made with sugar alcohols – mannitol, maltitol, sorbitol – caused many people terrible stomach cramps. Yet in a strange desperation to have our cake and eat it, many of us continue to buy artificially sweetened products.
Weight Loss?
What’s the perfect partner to that dietetic muffin or cupcake? A tall glass of diet soda, of course… Surely the bubbles and liquid will help trick the stomack into thinking that it’s full, which will help people stick to their weight-loss plans… But it doesn’t work that way. In a recent update, the Mayo Clinic admitted that “consuming artificial sweeteners may be associated with increased weight, but the cause is not yet known.” Other studies have demonstrated a clear link between consumption of artificial sweeteners and heightened food cravings. Based on studies
conducted on rats, Susan E. Swithers of Purdue University has theorized that zero-calorie sweeteners disturb the body’s self-regulation. “Sweet” usually raises the body’s temperature, but saccharin doesn’t do that, so Swithers postulates that the body either eats more or expends less energy (slowing the metabolism) to compensate. Nonetheless, the FDA has approved artificial sweeteners – aspartame, sucralose, saccharin, acesulfame potassium – although it has also set limits for their consumption. Let’s take a closer look.
Sucralose
Sucralose was discovered by chance by British scientists back in 1976. They weren’t actually looking for a food sweetener – they were trying to develop a new pesticide… In 2008, a study conducted at Duke University showed that Splenda causes pH imbalance in rats, as well as depletion of good bacteria, swollen livers, and kidney calcification. (This was in addition to the weight gain mentioned above.) Many people report that Splenda causes them headaches or irritability.
Aspartame
Aspartame was discovered in 1965 by a chemist who was looking to invent an anti-ulcer drug. He happened to lick his finger during an experiment, and noticed that it tasted sweet. Aspartame is the most controversial of the artificial sweeteners. It contains 10% methanol which is broken down in the body to form... formaldehyde. The 2005 Soffritti study (with cooperation from the US National Toxicology Program) on rats from a cancer research center in Italy showed that levels of aspartame below those of the currently approved intake caused tumors, leukemia, and other forms of cancer. More recently, data culled over twenty-two years from the Nurses’ Health Study and the Health Professionals’ Follow-Up Study – which involved over 125,00 people – showed that even one can of diet soda a day increased the incidence of leukemia in both
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men and women (by 42%), and increased multiple myeloma (102%) and non-Hodgkin lymphoma (31%) in men. As an aside, non-diet sodas didn’t fair much better. This same study showed a 66% increase in non-Hodgkin lymphoma for those who drank sugary sodas. Acesulfame Potassium (a.k.a. Acesulfame K) This sweetener was discovered in 1967 by a German chemist who enjoyed tasting his experiments – sometimes much to his own detriment. Not many studies have been made on this sweetener. One study showed an increase in mutations of the DNA of male mice. Another showed an increase in tumors in female rats. Some claim it triggers respiratory diseases. Methylene chloride, a paint-stripper, is used in its production – and methylene chloride is also used to decaffeinate tea and coffee. But some studies show it to be safe.
Saccharin
Saccharin was discovered in 1879 by a researcher experimenting with extraction of coal tar derivatives. One of the compounds spilled on his fingers and later, when he ate supper, he noticed that his bread tasted sweeter. He managed to trace this back to the compound extracted from the coal tar and saccharin was born. 1970s studies showed increase in incidence of bladder cancer in rats fed saccharin, but the reliability of these studies was later called into question. A 2008 study showed that saccharin increases insulin production. Saccharin has been studied for the longest of all the artificial sweeteners, and it may be one of the safest of these chemicals, but its contribution to weight gain still stands.
Better Options
Many books dealing with nutrition The Mayo CliniC adMiTTed ThaT
“consuming artificial
sweeteners may be associated with increased weight…
”
and weight loss discourage the use of natural sweeteners like molasses and honey. While these books admit that honey and molasses contain important nutrients, they still dismiss them due to their sugar, carbohydrates, and calories, while at the same time allowing for small amounts of artificial sweetener. A tablespoon of molasses contains 58 calories, an amount that isn’t likely to make or break a diet. More importantly, it provides 4% of one’s daily calcium needs, 5% of iron, copper, and selenium RDA, and also contains magnesium, manganese, and potassium in even larger amounts. Furthermore, molasses has a gentle laxative effect. When white sugar was too pricey, Americans used the cheaper molasses in their coffee. Though it sounds odd, molasses gives coffee a more robust flavor, in addition to added sweetness. Honey, at 64 calories a tablespoon, is also unlikely to ruin a diet from the occasional addition to a cup of tea. And because it’s sweeter than white sugar, people tend to add less, so that we’re actually only looking at around 20 calories in that cup. A tablespoon of honey provides us with 1% of our daily calcium and iron needs. It also contains antioxidants and assists with digestion. Other natural sweeteners are on the market, but are beyond the scope of this article. While neither honey nor molasses should be overeaten, studies seem to show that their moderate use is far preferable to sugar or artificial sweeteners in people with no issues that contraindicate their consumption. And of course, many people take no sweetener in their tea or coffee, or just drink goodold water… Most healthy American centenarians and nonagenarians report eating a few cookies, or a bit of pie or ice cream every week. They just don’t go overboard. This shouldn’t be news to us. As the Rambam writes, “As long as one exercises plenty, doesn’t eat until he is (overly) satisfied, and keeps his bowels soft, he will suffer no illness, and his strength will increase even if he eats unhealthy foods.”
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Health & Fitness
By Esther Dahan
ZUM B A ! ! A B M ZZUUMBA!
Colombian–born alberto Perez Created zumba
by mistake in the 1990s. He arrived at the gym to teach a dance–aerobics class, but forgot to bring along the music. So he slipped his personal Latin– music CD into the player and made up a Latin dance sequence on the spot. In 2001, Perez joined fellow Colombians Alberto Perlman and Alberto Aghion to create Zumba Fitness. Noticing that many people didn’t necessarily enjoy the boot–camp–style workouts in vogue at that time, Zumba Fitness produced DVDs and infomercials to attract people looking for some– thing different. As Zumba took off, the three Albertos established the Zumba Academy to produce Zumba instructors, and start– ed to produce Zumbawear apparel, as well as Zumba music mixes. Today, with 110,000 branches throughout the world, Zumba rates as the world’s largest dance–fitness program.
What Is Zumba? The typical Zumba class lasts for an hour and features a high–energy workout comprised of Latin dance moves set to Latin music – or any other music with a similar beat, such as jazz, hip–hop, and African. Zumba students like the fact that they needn’t count steps as when doing a regular dance, but merely repeat a series of movements. It feels more like energetic dancing and less like a rigorous workout. To keep the workouts from growing stale, instructors create new choreography with the help of DVDs they receive monthly, and they introduce new songs or rotate song selec– tions on a weekly basis. Zumba offers workouts for seniors, children, people who want to focus on toning or do Zumba in the water, and people who don’t have time for a full 60– minute workout.
Zumba has also hit the frum community and many wom– en report that they have become fitter, lost weight, and improved their mood. They gush about what their trimmer look, renewed confidence, and improved mood have done for their marriages. So what could be the problem?
The World of Zumba The Moves
Researching this article proved more difficult than I had anticipated. Most of the internet sites I tried to enter were blocked by my filter. That wasn’t actually so surprising giv– en the content of the short description in the sites list. Even without seeing pictures of Zumba classes underway, it was obvious that Zumba is viewed by many in the secular world as much more than a means of attaining fitness. One only has to consider the nature of some of the dance moves to under– stand why. Ask yourself: “Would you do those moves in front of your grandmother? Or your father?” The question gives one pause for thought – or for squirms of discomfort. High–impact aerobics traditionally consists of bouncing or running in place while moving one’s arms. Low–impact aerobics consists of the grapevine–style of steps, or tak– ing wide steps from side to side while moving one’s arms. A woman doing such an aerobics workout, wearing, let’s say, a long–sleeved shirt and a roomy skirt, didn’t look much different from when she was walking quickly to catch the train, or dancing at a wedding. One could say the same for step– aerobics and jazz–aerobics, too. And boot–camp aerobics uses movements that resemble self–defense techniques – not terribly suggestive to most people.
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Zumba, on the other hand, makes extensive use of very different types of movements gleaned from the non–Jewish world where dance is far removed from the innocence of making a bride happy at her wedding. Unfortunately, provoc– ative movements have actually begun to make inroads into wedding dance choreography and Bais Yaakov dance routines, albeit on a very small scale. But now, with the immense popularity of Zumba, there is real room for con– cern that such movements will become mainstream and accepted, regardless of their dubious origins. After all, “every– one’s doing it” – the favorite argument of the yetzer hara. What influence does this kind of dancing have on the nefesh of a person? Some people scoff at the idea, but movements can definitely affect one’s nefesh. For example, certain yoga breath– ing patterns and poses are known to intensify certain energies, which in the non–Jewish world have sometimes led to inappropriate interactions between yoga instructors and their students, as documented by a February 2, 2012 New York Times article on the subject. This article also reported how Russian and Indian scientists noted a sharp rise in a certain hormone in both male and fe– male yoga participants that affects this behavior. So we know that actions and poses can affect us in ways we don’t necessarily want (even if we’re not aware of what is happening).
ouch! And with all the enthusiasm for Zumba, one thing is often overlooked– injury. While some women claim that Zumba actually helped heal their backs, many others experienced the opposite. Women with minor pre-existing back issues suddenly found themselves in severe pain during or after a Zumba workout – something that never hap– pened when they took brisk walks or rode a stationary bike or swam laps. This includes women who underwent
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special back exams and received doc– tor authorization to participate in the workouts. Others with no prior prob– lems developed severe back, hip, ankle, toe, or knee pain from their Zumba workouts – even if they’d previously participated in years of combat arts, high–impact fitness, and swimming that never resulted in pain or injuries. Several Zumba instructors have com– plained of a “weak back” or debilitating back pain, particularly in the lower back, after months of Zumba workouts. For some, the pain has forced them to give up teaching. There are chiropractors who claim that Zumba has brought them sig– nificantly more clients, some of whom actually need surgery. Experts say that the back pain is avoidable if the class begins with an appropriate warm–up and proper pos– ture is maintained – the back must be kept long and straight (no “swayback”) by slightly tucking in the lower back, and there shouldn’t be any bouncing on the toes. However, instructors and students alike tend to get caught up in the music and moves and frequently forget to maintain a healthy posture.
“Would you do those moves in front of your grandmother? Or your father?” The MusIc Another problem with Zumba is that it introduces the women and girls to particularly unrefined non–Jewish music. While much supposedly Jewish music by frum composers also strongly resembles non–Jewish music, it’s usual– ly not quite as intense and the lyrics are incomparably better. But many frum ladies taking Zumba classes weren’t necessarily listening to more modern Jewish music at all, beforehand. Sud– denly, they are being exposed to some– thing very different, that they likely wouldn’t have encountered otherwise. Once exposed to such music for the
sake of something as innocent and beneficial as exercise, hearing the same music elsewhere doesn’t seem so bad any more. People may tune out the trashy or inane lyrics, but something still seeps in. This particular style of music is intrinsic to Zumba and can’t really be replaced with the latest wedding dance music. Certainly, the frum Zumba instructors are extremely fine women who have only the best intentions as regards their clients – they want them to be fit, healthy, and feel good. To a large ex– tent, they’ve succeeded in those goals. In addition, they feel they have found a kosher livelihood at the same time. But looking at the long–term effect on one’s physical and, more impor– tantly, spiritual health, it seems that the Zumba craze offers more than its adherents bargained for.
A JeWIsh WorkouT? Centuries ago, the Rambam recom– mended playing ball to get vigorous ex– ercise. Later, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov advised melancholy people to dance and jump up and down while clapping one’s hands and singing happy songs. Chassidic rebbes often traveled to European spas in the early twentieth century, enjoying long walks through nature as they discussed or pondered Torah thoughts. And science has measured what has been long known: Exercise not only improves your physical health, but also causes your brain to release endorphins, uplifting your emotional health, too. Long walks may not be feasible in your neighborhood and are dependent on weather, and not every community boasts a swimming pool. Playing ball is also often not an option. But getting a small trampoline for home use is workable. So is a jump rope. Or put on your mp3 earphones, turn on some wedding music or a lively niggun, and dance in the privacy of your own room, home office, or basement. Many people dance and sing when no one is looking – they just don’t tell anybody…
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HEaltH Food for the Soul
By Esther Dahan
It’s Not What You’re eatINg
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I
was attending a torah class that drifted onto the topic of eating. “Ever notice how you can eat the most scrumptious meal at the fanciest restaurant,” said the rebbetzin, “and even if you’re full to bursting, as you leave the restaurant, you’re still looking at the dessert cart, wishing you could have more?” Embarrassed laughter flit about the room.
“It’s true!” said a slender Yerushalmi lady. “We used to eat so much less and we were so much more satisfied!” And with that, she gave us a description of a typical meal in the Yerushalayim of sixty years ago. “For breakfast, we had a slice of bread with cheese. Maybe a cucumber-tomato salad. Some coffee or tea. Lunch was a small piece of schnitzel with a piece of bread and a cucumber-tomato salad. Dinner was the same as breakfast.” She paused. “And we weren’t hungry! It was enough; we were full!” She continued, “On Shabbos night, we ate a piece of fish and a piece of chicken with challah, a cucumber-tomato salad and maybe one or two other salads. We had one kugel and we ate one piece of it. On Shabbos day, we had cholent. That was it. Oh – maybe sometimes we had a piece of kugel with the cholent. And it was enough. We weren’t hungry for more.” She leaned back, deep in thought. “Nowadays, the food contains less brachah.” Then she told us something she’d heard from several rabbanim: “The decline in shemittah observance and the weakening in observance of all sorts of other mitzvos connected to the Land has leeched much of the brachah out of the food. And it has affected the whole world! When there is brachah in the Land, the whole world benefits from it. And when there isn’t...”
our relatIoNshIp to food has become dIstorted IN maNY WaYs:
✽ We eat too much – we no longer eat in order to be satisfied, but have other motivations. ✽ Or, we eat too little – we refrain from eating for all sorts of emotional reasons. ✽ Or, we eat what we “should,” but for some reason, it’s not good for
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What many of us never learned is that eating is a middah, just like anger, envy, and a desire for kavod
us any more. Allergies abound, and wheat – the main ingredient in what was always considered “the staff of life” – is now seen as a villain by many. Some people can’t tolerate it at all, and even those who can often shun it, worried that its carbs will cause weight gain and that its gluten exerts some kind of addictive effect, so that once they start eating bread or pasta – even whole wheat – they just can’t stop. But can this lack of brachah be explained scientifically?
It Just IsN’t the same
In nature, there are many different varieties of wheat. But apparently not enough for cultivators, who have developed numerous hybrids and genetic modifications. And the same goes for many other crops. The corn that we know today, for instance, is vastly different from the corn discovered by Europeans in the Americas centuries ago. Many other crops have been similarly engineered in the United States, even though fifty other countries (including many in Europe, and also Australia and Japan) saw fit to ban the results of their experimentation. Those who promote genetic engineering emphasize the value of creating crops that are resistant to pests and viruses, and that grow well even in harsh climates. Their opponents do not deny these benefits, but claim that the disadvantages of GMOs (genetically modified organisms) outweigh the advantages. One unforeseen consequence (though it should probably have been predicted) of genetically engineering pest-resistant crops was the evolution of the “superbug” that can only be eliminated with extremely potent – and toxic – pesticides, which are at
least partially absorbed by the crop itself, and therefore ingested by us. We can only assume that the side effects, especially cumulative, of eating pesticide-tainted food, are not pleasant – not enough studies have been made to form definite conclusions. Nonetheless, several studies have indicated that GM soy can cause allergies (as opposed to regular soy). One Canadian study detected an insecticide protein – one only found in GM crops – in the bloodstream of humans; in pregnant subjects, this same protein also showed up in the blood of the fetus. Obviously it’s near impossible to prove the precise source of the insecticide in the blood, but the point is that such results should lead to follow-up studies being conducted. And yet, none of the above-mentioned studies were pursued. Instead, GM proponents state loudly and frequently that in the sixteen years since GM foods entered the market, no harm has been done by them. Given the fact that there hasn’t been sufficient research conducted, this claim is spurious at best. In fact, investigation in other areas has sometimes led back to GM as the culprit. For example, in the 1989 outbreak of toxicity that killed 37 people who’d taken L-tryptophan, inspectors discovered that it originated with a form of L-tryptophan that used GM bacteria. Likewise, research into an outbreak of allergies to a specific variety of corn showed that a GM strain of insecticide protein was the cause. Another issue that should concern us is the quality of our meat and poultry. Kosher animals are herbivores, meaning that their natural food is herbal –
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grass, leaves, and so forth. The Rambam recommends eating grass-fed meat and poultry, and it’s easy to understand why – all the vitamins absorbed by the cow or chicken eventually pass to the consumer. Not only that, but the meat and poultry ends up tastier, and some even claim that milk from grass-fed cows is sweeter. Herbivore chickens produce eggs yolks that are a deep orange color, rich in beta-carotene (as we see erev Pesach, when the chickens are weaned off chametz in advance of the chag). Furthermore, grass-fed cattle are much less likely to suffer from problems that cause treifus, which makes sense considering that what we give them instead – grain – is not their natural choice of food, and is poorly digested by intestines designed to process grass. Cattle often suffer great discomfort as a result of being fed grain, and have to undergo stomach-piercing procedures in order to relieve them of gas buildup. In short, the grain diet of most of our meat and poultry isn’t good for the animals, and ultimately, it isn’t good for us, either. Which leads us to our last point: Many different kinds of foods, not just meat and poultry, simply don’t have the same nutritional content they once had. This is why it is often so hard to get everything we need just from eating healthy foods. Most of us feel a need to take supplemental vitamins, which has caused some to conclude that obesity isn’t an issue of taavah or discipline, but rather of malnutrition. In an effort to satisfy the body’s nutritional needs, the body simply craves more food. We can protest and write letters demanding an end to the genetic engineering of crops and clear labeling of GM foods. We can search out grass-fed
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sources of kosher meat – if we can afford it. But it seems like we now find ourselves in the same situation as the king in Rebbe Nachman’s story, who was informed that all the grain in his kingdom was tainted in such a way that it caused insanity in anyone who ate it. The king, realizing that he had no choice but to eat from it, too, suggested to his advisor that they both make distinctive marks upon their foreheads. “That way, even after we’ve gone mad, we’ll at least be reminded by looking at each other that we are insane!”
tachlIs
Okay, so now we know that the carb cravings we feel after eating mezonos or hamotzi food and the fact that we can’t satiate ourselves with just one piece of chicken is all the fault of the food itself. Right? Wrong. What many of us never learned is that eating – achilah – is a middah, just like anger, envy, and a desire for kavod. To illustrate, let’s take a look at the middah of ka’as:
Reuven hasn’t eaten since lunch and now it’s past dinnertime. Traffic crawls like a legion of slugs. Finally he arrives home and opens the door. Cornflakes cover the floor. One child is asleep on a rug, the other is snoozing on his wife’s lap – and she’s fallen asleep on the sofa. He sees no sign of dinner. Reuven shakes his wife. Her eyes flutter open and he says, “What’s for supper?” She groans. “Oh, I’m really sorry... the twins kept me up all night and then I couldn’t get them to nap at the same time... it was peanut butter sandwiches all day...” Her eyelids droop again, but Reuven doesn’t care. Low blood sugar combined with self-righteous indignation cause Re-
uven to explode. Now, Reuven can play this out regularly. He can curse his fate at being married to such a slovenly wife and so forth. But it won’t help. Exploding with ka’as is wrong and Reuven, like the rest of us, is simply going to have to work on his middos. And he does.
“Hmm,” says Reuven, “I haven’t eaten since lunch! And it’s rush hour, which means a lot of traffic. I guess in the future I’ll go pick up something to eat before I head home.” The next day, he heads for a nearby grocery store after leaving his office, pays for a couple of bananas and yogurts – no sugar – and makes his way to his car. He listens to music or shiurim as his car crawls through the traffic, while telling Hashem how much he wants to work on his temper and asking for His help. When he arrives home to the mess and his dozing wife, he gives her the benefit of the doubt and empathizes: “My day was the pits, but at least I got some sleep last night. It’s not easy dealing with twins, but baruch Hashem, children are a big brachah.” Then he goes into the kitchen. Either he, too, will suffice with
disease), and in the short term, they’ll make her tired and irritable. Nonetheless she rationalizes, “I’m starting a new diet tomorrow; it’s my last chance,” or “this time I won’t be so irritable and tired... I’ll just have some strong coffee and really work on my patience.” This scenario takes place weekly, and that’s in addition to all the times she indulges in other foods at home. Shaindy could diet, read health tips, and thumb through recipes in an effort to find the best of both worlds: selfindulgence without gaining weight. She could take pills. She could go to the gym and attend dieters’ meetings. (Overeaters Anonymous comes the closest to viewing achilah as a middah to be worked on.) And she could view achilah like any other middah.
It’s been a stressful day, and by now Shaindy knows this is one of her bingetriggers. Her usual way home takes her past the donut shop. She talks to Hashem about how much she really wants to do the right thing and asks for His help. She either rolls up her window so she won’t smell the donuts or she takes another route. She arrives home and immediately realizes by the aroma that the kids ordered pizza. She asks herself, “Am I actually hungry now or do I just want to eat?” If she’s genuinely hungry, Shaindy will go into the kitchen and grab something that won’t trigger a binge. She also takes a good multi-vitamin to give her the nutrients she needs to fight the stress and the cravings. Then she’ll prepare herself a nutritious meal, all the while reminding herself that every time she overcomes the urge to eat (taavah), she is building herself into a better and stronger person, just as any person who battles any other taavah.
We used to eat so much less and
we were so much more satisfied!
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peanut butter sandwiches, or he’ll cook up a real meal and later share it with his wife and children. How does this work with the middah of achilah? After a stressful day, Shaindy drives home detouring to pass by her favorite donut shop. It’s embarrassing how happy the thought of a whole box of her three favorite kinds of donuts makes her. She knows that in the long term, the donuts will make her fat (and, if she does it often, eventually lead to
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Shalom Bayis
By R Levy
Looking out for number one
one of the Secrets
of Shalom bayis As the common saying goes, “Opposites attract.” You may or may not agree, depending on your particular set of life experiences, but when it comes to marriage, there are two ways to look at this statement. OppOsites
attract
–
On sOme level, this must be
true, otherwise, people would never get married at all. But… they are still opposites. Men are different from women in almost every respect, and this is certainly no accident. It is told in the name of the Rebbe Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk zy”a that if husband and wife were not total opposites, it would be impossible for them to bring children into the world. Nonetheless, it still looks like a recipe for disaster, and this is actually what the Torah teaches us. The famous Midrash ( parashas Vayetzei) tells of a wealthy lady who came to Rabi Yosi bar Chalafta and demanded to know what God has been doing since He created the world. When she heard that He was “only” busy with making shidduchim, she decided to try her hand at it, too – and the results were catastrophic. None of the couples she paired managed to survive more than a day of married life together. One might think that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, knowing as He does the natures of all His creations, would have far greater success in matching people who are compatible with one another.
But this is not what we see. Rather, the same Midrash continues with Rabi Yosi agreeing with the lady that making shidduchim is exceedingly difficult, and that therefore, God “pairs them against their will, not by their own choices…” It’s certainly possible for God to pair up like-minded individuals – why would He choose not to? The Midrash concludes: “Those who choose to sing in joy and appreciation do so; those who choose not to sing, cry instead…” What does this come to tell us?
****
Did you ever see a chassan and kallah arguing under the chuppah? Most likely not – any minor disagreements were surely ironed out beforehand, and major disagreements would probably have led to the engagement being called off. Did you ever see a husband and wife arguing? What happened? Oh – you’re not as compatible as you thought you were? Where was the seichel to realize this, before you got married?
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האדמו"ר מוויזניץ ביקור אצל גיסו האדמו"ר מבעלזא
מעמד חלוקת פרסים בישיבת ברסלוב י"ם
מסע הלוי של הרבנית מקאליש ע"ה
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האדמו"ר מסאדיגורא ביקור אצל האדמו"ר מסערט וויזניץ
הגר"מ קאטלער ר"י לעיקוואוד ביקור בארה"ק
It would seem that Hakadosh Baruch Hu specially engineered matters- set up an elaborate smokescreen, so to speakto get two totally different people to somehow agree to spend the rest of their lives together. Just knowing this fact is going to help you get over the first hurdle, namely, the “Is he/she really my bashert?” question that is likely to pop up very quickly. The answer to this question is “Yes”with the proviso that bashert doesn’t necessarily mean what you thought it did. It certainly doesn’t mean that you will see eye to eye on everything, or even on most things. Of course you both have to be committed to a Torah lifestyle within broad parameters, but, sometimes shockingly, the similarities often stop there. Nonetheless, you are meant to be married to each other – there was no mistake. You weren’t stupid, or crazy, or bamboozled into marriage. You don’t even have to feel guilty that there is friction. And there is certainly nobody “out there” who would have made better marriage material for you. NoHakadosh Baruch Hu “paired you against your will.” He knew what He was doing – soon, b’ezras Hashem, will you.
****
The fact that we need to submit to a certain amount of deception in order to marry is actually not such a bad sign. Animals find their partners quite naturally and have no need for the institution of marriage to ensure the survival of the species. For Jews, however, marriage is not a matter of convenience. Neither is it the instinctive response of “We get along so well; let’s get married.” Rather, marriage is something holy, something very precious, something to be strived towards. The number of obstacles along the road to marital harmony only serve to highlight the great value of shalom bayis. We don’t get married because we want to get married – we get married because we need to be married. We need to gain something from being
married that we couldn’t possibly attain without it – and that something is: ourselves. Ask a non-Jew, “What does marriage start with?” and you will probably hear the answer, “Love.” Pointing out that marriages based on emotional love, especially in today’s world, tend to collapse into divorce pretty quickly, is unlikely to have any influence on the marrying couple. Most of the Western world long ago accepted that marriage will last as long as the emotions behind it do, and when they fizzle out, it’s time to leave. No hard feelings… This attitude is of course anathema to us. So, what is marriage based on? The right answer is: commitment. Commitment to your spouse, to build a home together; and, commitment to oneself. A mature adult does not enter into any commitment lightly, but intends and plans to be able to honor his word, regardless of almost all changes in circumstance. It is the privilege of an adult to be able to enter into a marriage or make any other oath. It should be a matter of honor, of self-esteem, to keep one’s word even when it’s a challenge to do so. This explains why marriage means so much more than doing what your spouse asks you to do, even with a smiling face. That is being committed to the other person; being committed to yourself, however, entails doing what is required for the marriage, even without being asked to do so. Even if the other person is mevater, or unaware of a need,
your actions, expect to have a stormy ride. Of course, emotions don’t just include the basic, “Right now, I’m just not in the mood” to do whatever needs to be done. They also incorporate, “What! After what he did yesterday? After what she said this morning?” Remember: You are committed to yourself. You too are flawed. You too have faults that you would rather other people forgot about, or ignored. If you believe in yourself as a person who can build a compassionate marriage, then do it – don’t wait for the other person to start.
****
“Those who choose to sing in joy and appreciation do so; those who choose not to sing, cry instead…” In many cases, despite the best efforts of husband or wife, the other spouse is simply not sufficiently invested in the marriage. How can the hard-working, determined spouse be expected to sing in joy when they see their work being either ignored, invalidated, or even sabotaged? Is this not a tragedy? On one level, the tragedy is undeniable. “If only…” tells us that things could have been so much better, so much more harmonious and productive. But only one of the partners has really lost the opportunity to build an everlasting edifice – not the one who tried and “failed” but rather the one who never tried at all. Marriage is an opportunity to build ourselves – regardless of the outcome, which is, as in all other matters, in Hashem’s hands. Surrendering our hopes and expectations is probably one of the hardest things for a striving human being to do – but if we do not wish to succumb to despair, we must learn this lesson. Then, and only then, will we be able to see the joy and appreciation- the joy of building ourselves through adverse circumstances, and the appreciation for being given the opportunity to do so. And then daven that your spouse will merit to do so, too.
the number of obstacles along the road to marital harmony only serve to highlight the great value of shalom bayis. or does not expect it of you, it should still be a matter of honor for you to do the right thing – no matter how you feel. If your emotions are your guide to
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RECIPES
Festive Melaveh Malkah Gitta Bixenspanner ND
As we head into winter, long Motzaei Shabbosim are the rule, affording us the luxury of serving a more lavish Melaveh Malkah. Melaveh Malkah is the special semi-festive meal we eat each week after Shabbos is over, as we accompany the departing Sabbath Queen. This meal is also known as Seudas Dovid Hamelech, because David, King of Israel, knew that he would die on Shabbos, and therefore every Motzaei Shabbos that he found himself still alive he celebrated with a meal of thanksgiving for the gift of another week of life. Our Sages tell us that eating Melaveh Malkah is a segulah (auspicious) for giving birth easily. In many chassidic courts this festive meal is celebrated communally, accompanied by the singing of beautiful melodies and recounting of wondrous and inspiring stories about our Torah leaders of previous generations. It is meritorious to partake of a hot dish, which can be anything from soup to tea or coffee. Our family has not missed a Melaveh Malkah in forty-five years! In the summer a little challah and a dip suffices, but during winter it is a wonderful opportunity to enjoy family and friends, as well as a great time for kumzitzes and games. Fun foods are in order for these occasions, especially dishes that even children can prepare easily. Most of the following suggestions can be prepared before Shabbos, maximizing the time you have available to focus on visiting relatives or guests, or playing games with your kids.
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Salmon Cakes with Lemon Dill Sauce These salmon cakes can be prepared in advance and served warm or at room temperature. Ingredients – salmon cakes 1 large potato, cooked and mashed 2 x 7oz. cans salmon ½ cup Panko breadcrumbs 1 egg slightly beaten ½ cup light mayonnaise Juice of 1 lemon 2 tsp Dijon mustard 1 small red onion, finely minced 1 Tbs chopped flat leaf parsley Dash hot sauce (optional) Cooking spray Ingredients – sauce ½ cup light mayonnaise 1 Tbs lemon juice 1 tsp lemon zest (optional) 2 frozen dill cubes (check for the hechsher)
2 frozen parsley cubes ½ cup seeded chopped cucumber Directions Cook potato for 20 minutes until soft. In a large bowl, combine all salmon cake ingredients as well as the potato and mix well. Form into 8 medium patties. Spray a large non-stick skillet with oil and heat over medium heat. Fry patties 3 - 4 minutes on each side until golden brown. Alternatively, place in an oiled pan and bake in the oven 15 minutes per side or until tops are brown. Make sauce by combining all ingredients. Preparation 20 minutes Serves 8
Roasted Potatoes Ingredients 6 potatoes cut into slices 1 onion chopped Olive oil 1 tsp Hungarian paprika 1 tsp turmeric (optional) 1 tsp rosemary (optional) Salt and pepper to taste Directions Preheat oven to 450° F / 220° C Line a 9 x 13 pan with silver foil and coat the bottom with oil. Place sliced potatoes into the pan and sprinkle over with the spices. Coat with the oil and place in preheated oven. Bake for 20 minutes or until potatoes are nice and crispy. Preparation 15 minutes Serves 8-10
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Pita Cheese Filled Pockets Pita pockets are serving-friendly! Prepare an Israeli salad and small serving dishes with olives and sliced pickles, as well as an array of dips, such as humus and tahina as well as mayonnaise. Set up buffet style and then warm up the pita bread. Children from around age seven can be invited to make their own pita sandwiches. This is great fun for them, as each one of their creations is truly unique. For those who want a ready sandwich here is another option. Ingredients 4 pita breads cut in half 4 slices Muenster cheese 2 stalks scallions cut in rounds 2 Roma tomatoes sliced Directions Open each half pita bread and fill with 2 slices of tomato, some scallions, ½ slice Muenster cheese. Place in the oven and bake at 400° F for 10 minutes. Preparation 10 minutes Serves 8
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Special Toasted Cheese Sandwich Ingredients 8 slices rustic bread 2 Tbs butter 4 oz. Muenster cheese 2 oz. Feta cheese, crumbled 2-3 onions, finely diced 2 tomatoes, sliced ¼ onion, thinly sliced Salt and pepper to taste Directions Preheat to 450° F on broil. Smear butter on every slice of bread. Place sliced bread on
a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and place in oven for about 5 minutes to toast bread. Keep an eye on the bread making sure it doesn’t burn. Combine cheeses, mix with seasonings, and divide evenly over the slices. Top each slice of bread with a slice of tomato and white onion. Place in hot oven on a lower rack away from broiler, but on broiler setting, for 8 to 10 minutes. Monitor carefully to make sure the cheese does not burn. You want the sandwiches to be bubbly and the cheese to brown. Place sandwiches on a plate, garnish with green onions and enjoy! Serve with roasted potatoes! Preparation 10 minutes Serves 8
Tomato & Avocado Salad Ingredients 4 tomatoes 2 avocados 2 scallions 2 Tbs olive oil 2 Tbs lemon juice Salt and pepper to taste Directions Cut tomatoes and avocados into cubes, and chop scallions. Mix together ingredients for dressing, pour over the vegetables, and serve immediately. This salad is delicious over slices of crusty French bread. Preparation 10 minutes Serves 4-6
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Macaroni Salad Ever-so-popular macaroni is real comfort food for all ages. Choose your favorite variety: whole wheat, rice, or spelt. This higher-fiber macaroni salad features a low-fat and lightly seasoned dressing. Ingredients: 3 hard-boiled eggs 2 cups dry macaroni noodles 3 Tbs real or light mayonnaise 3 finely chopped green onions (white and part of green) Âź cup finely chopped celery Âź cup finely chopped sweet or dill pickles 2 tsp parsley flakes or 2 Tbs fresh, finely chopped parsley Salt and pepper to taste
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Directions: Boil the eggs, followed by the macaroni noodles, according to package directions (about 8 minutes). In a colander drain noodles well, rinse with cold water and allow to cool. In a small bowl, blend mayonnaise, chopped eggs and all the vegetables. Stir into the noodles in a serving bowl. Adjust spices to taste. Enjoy! Preparation 20 minutes Serves 8 (as a side dish)
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Fluffy Dairy Noodle kugel This kugel can be prepared before Shabbos. It is delicious served either cold or warm. Kugel ingredients 1 cup prepared vanilla pudding 1 lb egg noodles 4 eggs ¾ cup sugar 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 1 cup milk ¾ cup yogurt 1 tsp vinegar ¼ tsp salt Topping ingredients 8 oz. Honey Graham or any vanilla wafer cookies (makes about 2 cups of crumbs) 2 Tbs sugar ½ tsp cinnamon
2 Tbs unsalted butter, melted Directions Preheat oven to 350° F. Parboil the noodles (five to seven minutes). Prepare vanilla pudding according to package directions. In a very large bowl beat eggs until fluffy. Add the sugar gradually, then the cream cheese, pudding and vanilla. Stir in the drained noodles. Mix thoroughly. Pour into a 9×13 inch pan. Prepare the topping by mixing all ingredients, and spread over the noodle mixture. Bake for 1 ½ hours, or until kugel is set. Note: Your baking time may vary. Check for doneness at one hour and adjust baking time as necessary. Preparation 45 Minutes Cooking time 60 – 90 minutes
Cut up fruits The hour is late and it’s time to wrap up this delightful evening. Adults will enjoy a refreshing fruit cup for dessert. Choose from seasonal fruits and cut them up on Friday, so they are ready to enjoy hassle-free on Motzaei Shabbos.
Ah! Don’t forget the hot drink! Hot cocoa for the kids is always welcome. A gut voch to all.
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