7 minute read
Unbounded Love
Ilove you.” “I love this.” “I love that.” Love is a crucial part of the human experience, a vital component for both a healthy mind and body. While it is universally important, love does not have one singular definition. Love can be expressed and felt in a variety of ways within our day to day lives—always multifaceted and unique in every form.
The romantic love between individuals is Affection is a key part of romantic relationoften idealized to fit perfect fairytale stoships and there are numerous ways to express rylines when in reality it is much more gratitude for one another apart from physical complex. attraction. Both partners should feel heard,
Paly senior, Sophie Stier, has been in a accepted and affirmed of their feelings. Simlong term relationship for a year and a half ple acts, like being kind to their family memand has since learned the nuances about love. bers or listening to their day, can make all the “Relationships are more than just love,” Stier difference. “The person you’re in love with is said. “Just because you love someone doesn’t also your best friend, someone who makes you mean your entire life revolves around them.” laugh and enjoy your time with them,” Stier
Coming into her first relationship, Stier said. has learned the truths about love that society But relationships can also yield potentialdoes not always present. “[Love is] beautiful and wonderful, but it shows that being in love and hav“We were never taught how to love ly hazardous situations, and teenagers are among the most vulnerable. Senior Isabel Armstrong ing someone love you doesn’t solve all your ourselves.” is Co-President of Paly’s One Love problems in life,” Stier said. “I feel like Sabrina Chan Club, a group of students dedicated to edpeople are desperate ucating people about to be in a relationship, thinking that their life healthy and unhealthy relationships. is going to be immensely better, but that’s not “A healthy relationship is one where there how it works.” is trust, respect and open communication,”
While a romantic relationship can be bensenior Armstrong said. “You feel comfortable eficial, Stier emphasizes the importance of sharing how you feel and you do so often, and remaining grounded and not losing sight of both parties are equally in control of the pace one’s goals. “I want people going into a reand direction of the relationship.” lationship to remember to put themselves But despite the risks, Armstrong encourfirst and not make huge sacrifices that won’t ages people to open up to love.” You should benefit them,” she said. “If your partner truly never let the fear stop you from being vulneraloves you, they will want the best for you and ble,” she said. “If you’re always closed off you wouldn’t encourage you to sacrifice somewill never get to experience love in the first thing important to you for them.” place.”
While the loving connections we build with others are essential, learning to love oneself is equally important. People often forget to show compassion to themselves, resulting in “A pet is a friend no matter what you are going through in your life.” Rachel Nehemiah
spending less time caring for their own mind and body.
There is a misconception that self-love and self-care entail unnecessary, luxurious treatment, when in reality it is much simpler than that. “Self-love is accepting your flaws, and looking out for your wellbeing both on a physical scale to taking care of yourself emotionally,” Armstrong said.
Paly junior and Social Wellness Commissioner Sabrina Chan works to promote a healthy social and emotional balance for students both on and off campus. “Self-love is the idea of being in tune with your body and your needs,” Chan said.
“It’s the ability to read into yourself and understand what you’re feeling.”
Self-love, while seemingly straightforward, can be difficult to implement because it is not emphasized from a young age. “When I was in elementary school during Valentine’s Day, I remember teachers explaining different ways people show their love to another such as writing cards or gifting chocolates,” Chan said. “However, we were never taught how to love ourselves.”
Showing vulnerability, especially to yourself, can often be uncomfortable and frightening. But, the benefits of expressing self-love and accepting yourself is crucial for a balanced lifestyle. “Through self-love, you are able to understand yourself better and you might find a new interest or hobby,” Chan said. “Doing something that brings you joy is important in one’s life because we all need an outlet from the stressor of daily life.”
Mastering self-love helps strengthen our connections with others and the relationship we have with ourselves. “I truly believe in the concept that you cannot love another if you don’t love yourself,” Chan said. “How are you supposed to open yourself up to someone else if you are unable to open up to yourself ?”
Atype of love often overlooked is the love shared between friends and family. The people that are always there to support you are among the most important.
“Love among friends and family is all about really caring for someone, being able to have fun with them and wanting to protect them and make them happy,” Paly senior Kate Milne said. Platonic love is centered around the fundamental connections people make with each other through communication and simple acts of kindness. Unlike romantic love, platonic love is void of lust and instead focuses mostly on being a supportive figure in some
one’s life. To Milne, it’s important to show and express appreciation to others. “I express my love for my friends by giving them little gifts, remembering details about things they’ve told me and telling them how much they mean to me regularly,” she said.
Having a support system is crucial for everyone. It’s especially important to be surrounded by people that are reliable, trustworthy and accepting. The mutual love shared between these individuals is what allows people to be themselves. “They [friends and family] feel like home. You would do almost anything to make them happy or keep them safe,” Milne said. B ut, love is not exclusive to humans and many individuals seek love in non-human forms. This connection is most often experienced through animals who only reciprocate human kindness with love. Rachel Nehemiah, volunteer coordinator of Pets In Need Palo Alto, has had a multitude of experiences seeing the impact that animals have. “Pets bring a lot of love and happiness to people’s lives,” Nehemiah said. “A pet is a friend no matter what you’re going through in your life.”
At the Pets In Need animal shelter, Nehemiah gains an understanding of the love that a pet brings every day. “It brings me a lot of happiness seeing an animal going from a bad situation to a great one and knowing I helped make it happen,” she said. “Months and even years, later I think back on an animal from my shelter, and it still brings a smile to my face.”
Having a furry companion can teach people the strength of communicating in any sort
of relationship. “Because our pets can’t speak to us, the love we receive from them is somewhat different,” Nehemiah said. “We have to learn to be better listeners and pay attention to how they feel about our actions.”
Although animals cannot express their love in obvious ways, we notice how they communicate their affections through actions. “My dog comes into my room just to sleep on the ground next to my desk where I’m working and my heart grows three sizes,” Paly senior Lori Pradhan said.
Another unique aspect to the bond we share with animals is their complete honesty and lack of judgement. “One of the best things pets give us is the chance to be ourselves,” Nehemiah said. “We sometimes get hung up on how we appear to others or what others think of us, but we don’t have to worry about that with our pets. We can be as silly and open as we want with them.”
But no matter where people find love—with others, themselves or even animals—it is abundantly clear that our connections we make have long lasting effects on us.