30 | Spring 2022
FA M I LY M AT T E R S
Parenting Teens and Toddlers at the Same Time TWO MOMS JUGGLE THE CHALLENGES AND JOYS OF RAISING KIDS WITH BIG AGE GAPS KRISTEN ALLSOP AND TARA BONE
contributing writers
Kristen Allsop balances life in Amalga with her husband Ken, seven children ranging in age from 3 to almost 18 years, and her career as a realtor with Dwell Realty. She won’t say this, but her ability to make anyone laugh at any time and her generous heart make her everyone’s favorite friend. Tara is a contributing writer for Cache Valley Family Magazine and mom to four sons, ranging in age from 2 to 18. Kristen and Tara became fast
WHY WRITE THIS? Tara Last year I spent a lot of time preparing my 18-year-old son to leave the nest. We did typical campus visits and shopping trips, but what wasn’t typical is 1-year-old baby brother came along on all our adventures. We had so much fun on our outings, and we never knew what questions we’d get … “yes they’re brothers,” and my favorite “yes, I’m the mom and not grandma.” We love our family dynamic and wouldn’t have it any other way; we waited 10 years for our miracle caboose. But there are unique challenges and hard moments that parents of kids with large age gaps hesitate to discuss because they’re oh so grateful, but also oh so tired! Kristen and I want parents in this situation to know they’re not alone. It’s hard to be the oldest parent on the playground who doesn’t quite fit in, or to navigate a tantrum during a teenage child’s very public event. We also want to offer tips we’ve learned and give a glimpse into this parenting world.
friends while herding chickens and surviving the Cache County Fair with three lambs, eight kids, and too many farm animals to count. Yes, herding chickens is a thing … or at least it was that summer. Tara and Kristen put their heads together to share some things they’ve learned on their parenting journey. Although they both feel the older they get, the less they know.
LOWER ENERGY AND LESS TIME Takeaway: Don’t focus on what you can’t give; focus on what you can and be happy to be there. Really … it’s OK if their clothes don’t match (because you didn’t have energy to outsmart the tantrum) and you haven’t had makeup on for days. If you fall asleep reading bedtime stories, at least you got a page in.
photo credit: Heather Palmer Photography
Kristen When I go places with my younger children, I definitely am the oldest parent in the room. I see myself 15 years ago in those mothers’ eyes. Like them, I was very engaged in my child’s development. I feel as if my focus is very different now. As an older mom, I still want this, but my energy and time must be spread further. My mind feels encumbered by all the tasks and worries of motherhood. Hence, I’m just grateful I’m at an activity with my child and simply hope they have fun and I enjoy doing something with them. My little kids don’t participate in as many activities as my oldest daughter did. Which is sad for me, but I can’t let that sadness
The Bone brothers, ages 18, 2, 12, and 16 years old.
