Anthology 1

ANTHOLOGY 1 PLAYS FROM THE MIND OF

ROBERT MICHAEL MORRIS

ANTHOLOGY

1

PLAYSFROM THEMINDOF

ROBERT MICHAEL MORRIS

ANTHOLOGY

1

PLAYSFROM THEMINDOF

ROBERT MICHAEL MORRIS

Copyright © 2011 by Robert Michael Morris All rights reserved, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, performed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a data base or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author, his agents, or publishers.

Argüeso & Garzón Editores Bogotá - San Juan First Edition: November 2011 Printed in Colombia ISBN: 978-958-99523-5-1 Layout & Design by Carlos Martínez cafemaco85gmail.com www.be.net/cafemaco Printed by LEGIS, S. A. Bogotá – Colombia Sponsored by the INCARNATE WORDS FOUNDATION www.incarnatewordsfoundation.org San Juan – Bogotá

DEDICATION This book is dedicated to my parents who gave me life; my brothers and family who nurtured that life; my friends Christi Hatcher, Bill Gannon, Mary Collins Jones, Joseph Cirino and Barbara Rickloff who were taken from my life too early; close friends in Erie, PA, Pittsburgh, PA, New York, California and Puerto Rico and other points who encourage and support me; Leo Brady, my first playwriting teacher, and the Society of Mary who saved my life.

TABLEOF CONTENTS 8 10

AN INTRODUCTION

74

2. INTERIOR DECORATION

1. FLOWERS FOR A LEXINGTON LADY A memory play all full of Irish charm

The effects of mental illness on a family

156

3. PUTTING IT ALL AT RISK

202

4. BLOOD FROM A STONE

212

5. CONSUL

244

6. MEN OF DISTINCTION

298

7. GERTRUDE, QUEEN OF DENMARK

356

8. MAN OF STONE

Modern tale of an actress’ ego on her marriage Play about a guard at a concentration camp Biblical drama with a twist 7 monologues by 6 older gay men

Action in Hamlet when Gertrude was not on stage

Where Michelangelo got his inspiration for David

418

9. GOODBYE, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

474

10. RAMPART STREET LITURGIES

536

11. WASHINGTON MONUMENT

574

12. A LINE OF BEES

592

13. FIRST LADY OF THE AMERICAN THEATRE

An aged movie star gives an interview

Life in New Orleans before the Civil War

A one woman show about Alice Roosevelt Longworth One-act play about two old people trapped in their rockers

Monologues by a tall actress

598

14. APPALACHIAN SPRING

643 644

BIOGRAPHY OF ROBERT MICHAEL MORRIS

Warm drama about rural families

APPENDIX: COMPLETE LIST OF PLAYS

BY ROBERT MICHAEL MORRIS

AN INTRO DUCTION I have often been asked where I get my ideas for a play. The simple answer is, I don’t know. For me, the whole process is something mystical; some ideas come to me in dreams, others begin with a kind of brain tickle and then disappear until they are ready to “come out”. I see and hear what I write. Often I have no idea where it is going when I begin; I let the characters take me to where they want to go. There are other times that begin with the magical “if”... what IF this or what IF that, and from that little word sometimes comes a completed script.

There are also times when the idea requires a lot of research. One of the plays in this collection required that I be very familiar with schizophrenia, so I began researching it. I read several books (hardly enough to make me an expert, but enough to give me some working knowledge that I didn’t have before). I took copious notes.

I then transferred the notes to 4x5 cards. Then I indexed them by color coding: symptoms, reaction of the family members, deterioration. I read them over and over on the subway as I went to my work as a stage manager. During this time, I did not write a word; I just kept reading and re-reading the cards until I felt I knew enough to write the story without sounding like a text book. Research is invaluable and often changes the direction of the play.

It also helps if you know a lot about theatre. I have been an actor, a director, a set designer, a costumer, a stage manager, and, of course, a writer. I hold two undergraduate degrees in Art and English with minors in Speech, Philosophy, History, Education and Theology. My MFA is in playwriting. They all complement each other. The more you know about everything the better writer you are. Intellectual curiosity is a treasure.

And it is a curse. I write plays because I must. There is nothing I can do about it. I don’t write novels or screenplays. My medium is the theatre. I entertain myself with words. I follow a vastly divergent group of characters, some of whom I have met – many of my scripts begin with knowledge of my family and friends, their situations and my imagined dramatic structuring – and others I create out of whole cloth. I write down what they say and I am often surprised and write down what they do and I am often shocked and sometimes edified.

There are no rules. I follow no system. I just encourage you to write what your heart tells you to write. Listen to your heart. What does it say? And always keep in mind that you are writing for an audience. Playwriting is a craft; the production is the art.

ROBERT M ICH A EL MOR R IS AU G U S T 2 0 11

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FLOWERS FORA LEXINGTON LADY CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S MAG MAG#1 MAG#2 MAG#3 MRS. SULLIVAN MR. SULLIVAN NELLIE MIKE ROHAN JEANNE BOB MILLER EMMA BODKIN NICK BODKIN BETTY ROHAN JAYNE ROHAN BODKIN LOUISE SULLIVAN ANNELLE ROHAN LYONS MRS. FLEMING ROSEMARY O’BRIEN TOMMY BODKIN MRS. NORDLOH CHESS KELLY NEIGHBORS JEANNE’S 3 CHILDREN

79, feisty, witty, the essence of Irish American 16-35 35-50 50-79 Margaret’s mother, late 40s Margaret’s father, late 50s her sister, 20 charming, understanding, 26-53 the oldest daughter, 28-49 the man Jeanne loves, 29-55 Margaret’s confidant, mid 50s Emma’s husband, 60 the youngest daughter, 18-36 second oldest daughter, 22-46 Margaret’s youngest sister, 50s another daughter, 21-45 a neighbor, 60s Betty’s friend, 19 Jayne’s husband, 23-47 Margaret’s nosey neighbor, 55 Betty’s boyfriend, 30

SETTINGS (all token and symbolic) Lexington, Ky. Ludlow, Ky. St. Elizabeth’s Hospital. Mother of God Cemetery TIME 1970 SYNOPSIS An old woman re-lives her life in an attempt to understand how she was loved and how she could have loved more. It is witty, charming, American-Irish, and full of the every day heartaches of life as she lives to an old age and must bury her parents, her brothers and sisters, her husband and almost all of her children. Suggestive scenic pieces for six locales.

14 Women, 8 Men.

F L OW E R S F O R A L E X I N G T O N L A DY AC T I SCENE: (A scrim stretches across the rear of the stage. There are no stage properties in evidence. Man comes forward. He wears a sweater, slacks, and a shirt open at the neck. His hands are in his pockets. He speaks as he walks.)

MAN: This is going to be a story about people... very real people... but it’s not a real story because it never happened... at least not exactly this way. Actually it did happen exactly as it is about to happen...only it happened at different times, in different places, and to different people... who are a lot more real than the people you will see here... under terribly different circumstances... other than that it’s exactly the same. This story will seem very familiar to you because all of it, or part of it has happened to you... or you’ve seen it happen to someone else...or you’ve read about it. So don’t expect the story to move you to tears or convulse you with laughter. It’s just like life... it doesn’t always make you laugh, or make living it any easier for you... you exist through it and in the end pass out of it with a sigh that’s heard two blocks down the street. That’s what this is all about, really... passing out of it. (Lights dim until he is in a pin spot.)

See that figure in bed? That’s Mag. That’s who the play is all about.

Mag is dying. Oh, don’t be saddened by that, she wants to die.

MAG: I want to die.

MAN: See, didn’t I tell you. She has wanted to die for over 15 years.

MAG: (Raising up) Over 16.

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MAN: Sorry... 16 years. But then this is her story. Let her tell it.

(The bed moves forward and walls, furniture and windows slide into place. The bed is a Hollywood bed with a compartment hidden in the headboard by sliding doors. Pink drapes hang behind the bed, covering the entire wall, which is painted brown. There is one window stage left and another one stage right. They have shades and white curtains. A small white nightstand is beside the bed stage right. On it is a phone. A bureau stands against the stage r. wall flush against the window edge. A door way is rear R., it leads to the kitchen. A T.V. set and a white wicker porch chair are against the SL wall. The three Mags move forward and stand in the fringes of light.

MAG: I’ve been in bed here all night. The only reason I’m here now is because I can’t get out to go anywhere and I haven’t died yet. God just doesn’t want me. Why would He want a crippled old woman like me? Well, I’m supposed to tell you about myself. There isn’t much to tell, seeing me here, I guess, is proof positive that the good die young. My name is Margaret Sullivan. Oh, isn’t that silly of me, I must be going senile, that and slipping and breaking my hip...I’ve got a horror of falling and me here by myself with no one to help me...that’s all I need. I was Margaret Sullivan before I was married. I had the finest man God ever put breath into for a husband, they don’t make men like that no more. I was baptized Margaret Wilhemina Sullivan over 80 years ago.

NARRATOR: Uh uh uh!

MAG: Oh, all right, 79 years ago. I’m in my 80th year. And I’m just living to die. My mother ran a boarding house for railroad men.

(Behind scrim as lights dim up is seen the railroad boarding house.

Huge overstuffed chairs with doilies, a sofa, a white wicker magazine rack, end tables made of cane, hurricane lamps. There is a mantlepiece with a mirror. There is a large front window through which can be seen a porch and a swing. The windows are curtained.

There is a piano, an upright and many plants.

12

Anthology 1

FLOWERS FOR A LEXINGTON LADY

NELL: Jayne, I feel so bad.

JAYNE: It’s OK. hon. This is what she wanted.

NELL: If she’da been with one of us.

JAYNE: Lord knows we asked her. It’s a good thing though. God forgive me, she’da driven us both nuts. She was a nasty, spiteful, bitter, wonderful woman. No better and no worse than anyone.

BOB: I’m real sorry, Jayne, She was a mean old son of a bitch, I hated her all her life. I’m really gonna miss her.

JAYNE: Well, she hated you too, Miller. Let’s go hon.

NELL: If only it had been a nice day.

JAYNE: There’s an old Irish saying. “If rain falls on the lid of the coffin, they died happy.” She’s with Daddy, and Jeanne and Betty.

Let’s go home.

MAG: It’s over then. They leave, the flowers die. And I’m alone again. Why did you make me go through all this? (Cries) NARRATOR: I hoped you would understand your life better. To realize what you did wrong. To see how much you were loved and to learn how to love more.

MAG: Oh, that could have been heaven.

NARRATOR: It is, (Mag gets out of bed, the other Margarets proceed her until the young Margaret meets Mike.

THE END

2

INTERIOR DECORATION CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S MARY CULLEN BRADDOCK PATRICK CASEY BRADDOCK KATE AKA KATHLENE MARY JAMES MATTHEW BRADDOCK MARIA VALLESQUEZ COLBY NELSON

42, attractive, high-powered 26, Mary’s oldest son 17, Mary’s daughter 11, Mary’s youngest son 50s, Mary’s friend 39, Mary’s friend

SETTING A townhouse in Washington, DC TIME: 1973 SYNOPSIS A tense drama about the effects of manic-depressive-schizophrenia on a family. There are long monologues giving various views of the same situation, and “flash fantasy scenes” which blur the line between reality and fantasy giving the audience a sense of displacement. Is too much love not enough, how wrong can good intentions go?

One set. 3 Women, 2 Men, 1 Child.

I N T E R I O R D E C O R AT I O N AC T I SCENE I JIMMY: Where’s Mom? KATE: Who cares?

JIMMY: I only asked. Don’t bite my head off, Kat. KATE: She’s out getting the flowers. You clean the patio?

JIMMY: I’ll do it.

KATE: Do it now, Jimmy.

JIMMY: I’ll do it when I’m ready.

KATE: You big baby!

JIMMY: (He puts his ball glove on the table, opens the fridge, takes out an apple.) God, there’s nothing to eat.

KATE: (Throwing the glove across the room.) Stay out of the fridge.

JIMMY: Make me!

KATE: Get that glove out of here, and clean up the patio before Mom gets back. You know she’ll blow her top.

JIMMY: She’s pretty bent out of shape lately, ain’t she?

KATE: She’s been bent out of shape for years, Jimmy, or are you too dumb to notice?

JIMMY: I ain’t dumb.

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KATE: Big baby! Why don’t you help? I can’t do it all.

JIMMY: That’s girl’s work.

KATE: Since when?

JIMMY: Since Mom told you to do it. When’s Pat due in?

KATE: Who cares!

JIMMY: Shee! Are you on the rag?

KATE: You shut up.

JIMMY: I only asked, Kat. Gee Whiz! Let‘s call a truce, huh? It’s going to be crazy enough around here without you yelling all the time.

KATE: I do not yell all the time.

JIMMY: You do too.

KATE: It’s not fair, Jimmy. You never do anything. It wouldn’t kill you to help once in a while.

JIMMY: I help.

KATE: You do not.

JIMMY: I cleaned the front yard.

KATE: Big deal! There was nothing to do.

JIMMY: There was too! Mom wanted all the leaves pulled out from under the bushes, and the grass trimmed along the flagstone.

KATE: Oh, you must need a vacation! There are only three bushes.

JIMMY: Well, I did it. I do so do work around here.

KATE: Ever since Patrick left I get stuck with everything.

JIMMY: Like what?

KATE: Like everything. God, I hate this house. I’ll be so glad when this wedding’s over.

JIMMY: When’s Pat getting in?

76

Anthology 1

INTERIOR DECORATION

KATE: How should I know? I look like an airline?

JIMMY: You act like you know everything.

KATE: I know if Mom comes back and that patio isn’t cleaned up, you’re gonna get it.

JIMMY: I said I’d do it, didn’t I? KATE: The wedding is a day after tomorrow, James. If you don’t do it today you aren’t going to get it done. Tomorrow is going to be nuts. (An auto pulls up. The sound of a door slam and a gate bell.)

Oh, oh. There’s Mom! I told you.

MARY: (Enters carrying two bags of groceries. She wears slacks and a soft blouse with lots of chains.) Kate, come and help me carry this stuff out of the car. Jimmy, get that patio cleared.

JIMMY: When’s Pat comin’, Mom? MARY: When he gets here. Kate, come on. (She goes.)

KATE: Now you’re gonna get it. (She goes.)

MARY: (Returning with two more bags. Kate has two bags also.)

Put them over there, Kate. Jimmy, what’s this doing on the floor?

JIMMY: Kate put it there.

KATE: I did not.

MARY: Jimmy, it’s your glove. Kate, go get those other bags. (A horn honks from off. MARY screams out the back door.) I’m unloading, you idiot! Can’t you see I’m unloading! Jimmy, pick it up.

KATE: Why can’t he help with these bags?

MARY: Katherine Mary Alice, don’t argue with me. (KATE goes.)

JIMMY: When’s Pat comin’ in?

MARY: Jimmy, don’t bother me know. Put these away.

JIMMY: Where do they go?

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MARY: Where they always go. Just go where you found them last, that’s where they go. Jimmy, I told you to pick up that glove. I’m going to throw it away. If you don’t take care of your stuff, I’ll throw it away, I swear to God I will.

KATE: (Entering.) Thanks for helping, James.

JIMMY: Don’t mention it.

KATE: I won’t. I could barely get through the patio, it was so messy.

MARY: Jimmy, did you do that yet?

JIMMY: I was just going to. But I was helping Katherine with the silver.

KATE: You did....

MARY: Well, thank you honey. Now get the patio cleared. If Patrick gets home, he can help you.

KATE: Where are the flowers?

MARY: What flowers?

KATE: I thought you went to get the flowers.

MARY: Oh, Christ and His Blessed Mother! On the back seat. Here, Jimmy, fill that bucket with water from the hose. Kate, bring the flowers in and stick them in the water. Put ‘em in the shade. Then take the car around and park it in front for me. (There is another horn honk from outside. MARY yells from door.) I’m coming! I’m coming!

KATE: OK. (She goes.)

MARY: Honey, please fill the bucket. (He goes out the back door.)

And pick up that glove. (She kicks it out the back door.)

JIMMY: (From off.) Hey, watch it!

MARY: I’ll throw it out, Jimmy. I don’t need this aggravation! (She takes out all manner of groceries and puts them away. From offstage you hear JIMMY and KATE).

KATE: Mom, make him stop it. Stop it, Jimmy, I’m warning you.

Will you please stop it. Mom!

78

Anthology 1

INTERIOR DECORATION

JIMMY: It’s only water!

MARY: Katherine Mary, get that car parked and get right back here.

Young man, you do that patio and stop bothering your sister. Stack all that wood...don’t you give me that face, I’ll smack it off....Stack it under the grill. Sweep it all, then hose it down. (The phone rings.)

Mary Cullen Braddock. Oh, hi, Nancy. No, he isn’t. What time is it?

My watch is broken again. Four, I think. Nancy, I don’t have time to worry about Patrick. He is old enough to find...What? The dinner is at Brad’s parents. It wasn’t my....Nancy, I would much rather have had the dinner, but they wanted to. The cheap bastards just didn’t want to buy all the liquor. Nancy, not now! I’ve got ninety six things to do before the wedding. That’s very sweet of you, but I can manage. No, I’ll get it done. What time are you getting to the wedding? Everyone. Why can’t she? Nancy, that’s ridicu.... Nancy, the child is not too...Embarrassed, my ass! Listen, I can’t deal with this now. I’ve got ice cream melting all over my counter. Why do you wait to do this to me today? Nancy, bring her over here tonight around nine. We’ll find something for her to wear. She should be there, she’s family. I don’t want to discuss it now! I’ll see you at nine.

(She hangs up and puts more stuff away.) Family! Cripes! (She goes to the phone, checks and dials.) Hello, Tuberts? This is Mary Cullen Braddock. Yes. Listen, Saturday, when you deliver the liquor, could you also add about one hundred pounds of ice? OK. Fabulous!

Just add that to the bill. Fabulous! Thank you. (She hangs up and dials again.) Nancy? Mary. Oh, wait a minute. (She puts NANCY on hold and takes another call.) Mary Cullen Braddock. No, Jimmy isn’t here, Shandi. He’s cleaning the patio. I’ll tell him. Shandi, I have to go. (She switches back to NANCY.) Nancy? When you come over here tonight, will you bring those two galvanized tubs? For ice.

Well, you can empty them out, can’t you? Nancy, they are my tubs to begin with. Fine. Fine. What? No, Nancy, he is not here yet. I just spoke to you, Nancy! All right. Bye. (She hangs up.) She’s as nutty as a fruitcake...she’s my sister, but she’s as nutty as a fruitcake!

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3

PUTTING ITALL ATRISK CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S CONSTANCE DAVIS MARIA SUAREZ CALVIN CUTLER MARGARET HELLEBUSH TED NEUBAUER STEVE MANGINE

62, attractive actress 50, Constance’s housekeeper 65, owner of hairdressing salons 60, Television actress 63, Constance’s husband, broker 49, Connie’s agent

SETTING Kitchen, Dining, Living room in Malibu overlooking the beach TIME Now SYNOPSIS Connie Kelly has everything a woman could want: she is married to a successful man who adores her, she has a beautiful home right on the beach in Malibu, California, and has had a long and successful career on both the stage and in television. However, she has not had her own series for six years, and she is starting to worry and obsess about a failing career. She begins to make plans to reinvigorate her acting career by moving to New York City and jump starting her career on stage. This will require some sacrifices. The script blending humor and the overarching feeling of emptiness works beautifully to suggest the lives of all people who reach the age of looking back at what was, and forward to what might never be, with a sense of remorse and panic. It is also an educating glimpse into the entertainment industry. Three Men, Three Women, One setting.

PU T T I N G I T A L L AT R I S K ACT I SCENE I SCENE: A modern, see through apartment with a large glass picture window looking out on the Pacific Ocean. SR is an entrance through a door into the kitchen which blends into a dining room and living room. It is very Architectural Digest in white, sand and pale pinks.

There is a doorway SL which goes off into other rooms in the house.

It has a typical Malibu feel to it. You can just make out the edge of a pool before the beach and the ocean.

AT RISE: The phone is ringing and it goes to the answering machine. Before the message is completed, CONSTANCE DAVIS enters through the kitchen door with dry-cleaning and a grocery bag.

She is 60 years old, but looks late 40’s. Her hair is bright red and it is held in a Hermes scarf. She wears slacks, Gucci mules, a soft pink silk blouse, lots of gold chains and huge sunglasses. When she hears the message she stops and listens.

MACHINE: “Hello. You’ve reached Connie Davis. I can’t take your call right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you at my earliest convenience. Wait for the beep.” BEEP. STEVE: Connie? It’s your favorite agent. In case you don’t know, it’s Steve at Exceptional. Listen, Connie, they want to see you again…

CONNIE: Oh, crap!

STEVE: …and they want you to read for the aunt…

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CONNIE: What? They’re nuts! Steve, tell them they’re nuts.

STEVE: …which is not as big a part as the mother…

CONNIE: And it’s older, Steve!

STEVE: ….but it’s a good part. If you want me to email you the sides, let me know. I hope you can make it. Call me. (CONNIE puts the groceries on the counter and walks across stage calling) CONNIE: Maria! Maria! I’m back. Where the hell is she? (Connie puts the dry cleaning on the SL door and looks out the window. She sees MARIA outside and taps on the window.) Maria!

(She slides open the patio door.) What are you doing?

MARIA: (From off.) I’m shaking out the dust mop.

CONNIE: I’m back. (She goes back to the grocery bag, takes off her scarf and tosses it on the table and shakes out her hair. She looks at her reflection and fluffs her hair.) Oh, Christ, you could play the older aunt! I wonder if it’s time. (She pulls at her face, pulling back the skin.)

MARIA: (Entering.) Mister Ted called while you were out. He’s going to be late, he said.

CONNIE: Just as well. Oh, Maria, don’t ever go into show business.

MARIA: Miss Connie, I don’t think you have to worry about that.

CONNIE: I don’t even know what I am doing out here! I’m a stage actress, Maria. A stage actress! Why am I wasting my time out here?

MARIA: You’ll get another series, don’t worry.

CONNIE: From your lips to God’s ear. How old would you say I am, Maria?

MARIA: Miss Connie, I know how old you are.

CONNIE: But if you didn’t, if you didn’t know, how old would you say I am? Wait. Let me get in the better light. (She poses.) How old?

158

Anthology 1

PUTTING IT ALL AT RISK

MARIA: Oh, I don’t know.

CONNIE: Just look at me. Look at the whole package, not just the face. (She tosses her hair and fluffs it and puts her hands on her hips.)

MARIA: Forty five.

CONNIE: Maria!

MARIA: Fifty?

CONNIE: I don’t look seventy do I? That cockamamie agent of mine is sending me out for women who are seventy!

MARIA: You’ve taken very good care of yourself. You don’t seem seventy.

CONNIE: Well I’m not seventy!

MARIA: Are you going to want me to fix anything for your dinner?

CONNIE: I’m not eating.

MARIA: Oh, Miss Connie, you have to eat!

CONNIE: As long as I keep the figure, Maria, I will NOT be playing seventy year old women! Seventy? There’s not a grey hair in my head. Of course I color it, but there’s no grey. No one has ever seen gray. Maria, pull up a stool and let’s have a glass of wine together.

Better, sit. Sit. (CONNIE goes to the fridge and gets a bottle of wine and two glasses. MARIA sits at the table. She takes two coasters out of the drawer.) Who’s picking you up?

MARIA: Julio.

CONNIE: Oh, is he home from college?

MARIA: Just for a visit. He says he likes the way I do his laundry.

CONNIE: Here you go. (She pours two wines.) To the future, whatever it holds. (They clink and drink.) Maria, what would you say if I went back to New York to be on the stage?

MARIA: And leave Mr. Ted? Plays from the Mind of Robert Michael Morris

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4

BLOOD FROMA STONE CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S ANGELA KARL GUARD

late 50’s, attractive, blond in his 80’s, burly, a peasant 30’S, PRISON GUARD

SETTING A visiting room in a high security prison in Germany TIME The present SYNOPSIS It’s the story of a young woman confronting her father who has been arrested for being a notorious guard at a concentration camp in World War II. He has come to America with forged papers, married, raised three children, become an American citizen and lived in the United States for fifty years before his background is discovered. His youngest daughter tried to come to grips with his life of lies and the allegations against him. What she discovers is that it is not so easy to understand if you only look at facts. Two Men, One Woman, One set. 10 min.

BLOOD FROM A STON E SCENE: A vast room with tall, thin windows looking out and letting shafts of sunlight in the hallway. The US wall of the room is a series of large picture windows so that the room can be constantly monitored from the hallway. Chain link fencing covers the windows. There is a long table with two chairs, one on each side in the room. There is a doorway SL with a closed door with a small window in it; SR has more plate glass and a door.

AT RISE: ANGELA is standing in the room looking out through the small window in the SL door. She wears a skirt and armless blouse with a cardigan sweater unbuttoned. She clutches her arms. She walks US looking out the windows, crosses to SR and looks out the windows. She crosses the stage from R to L so that we get the feeling it is more glass panels. She sees her reflection and smoothes her hair back. She turns and goes back to the door SL, looks out and returns to her original position. A beat. A GUARD enters with a clip board.

GUARD: It says here that you were here yesterday.

ANGELA: Yes. GUARD: And you are back today?

ANGELA: And I will be here tomorrow.

GUARD: May I ask why?

ANGELA: I will be here every day until I get some answers.

GUARD: You didn’t get any yesterday?

ANGELA: No, and I don’t expect to get any today. It is difficult to get answers when one does not talk.

GUARD: He doesn’t talk to you either? That’s strange.

ANGELA: Strange? How so.

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those camps having Hiwis from hell as my guards. (He takes her hands.) I only lied to you and your mother to protect you from the horrors of my youth, Angela. From my transgressions. I lived for fifty years in a cocoon of lies. It was not to hurt any of you; it was to protect you from my monster. (He sits back.) Who are we, Angela? Should we be defined by a certain period in our life? A moment of bravery; does that make us heroes? Or a moment of cowardice; does that make us less human or just momentarily weak?

ANGELA: But for years, Father? How could you do it for years?

KARL: It’s strange, daughter how, once you are alive you want to stay alive. You keep hoping that things will change, go back to the way they were, but they don’t. Unless you are very very lucky.

Perhaps I was insane all those years. A kind of insanity. A stew like my mother used to make with the rotten vegetables we had to find; cowardice and fear and insanity all mixed together. A devil’s stew. But when you are in it and you don’t know what to do, which way to turn, how to change things you just keep your head down, keep a smile on your face and soldier on.

ANGELA: You have your good name to protect.

KARL: Which name? The name of the inhuman monster who delighted in torturing women and young girls? The fiend who made young men violate each other on the way to the gas chambers? Or the loving someday father who would dangle babies by their arm and throw them into the ovens? Would it be the Hiwis with the club who was more concerned with keeping his prisoners in line than the pain he inflicted? There were men who did all that, Angela. I lived with them. I called them friends. They would come into the barracks from raping the young girls and brag. I would laugh. I sometimes laughed the loudest. No, I have no good name, my daughter. The only name I care about is the name father, husband, and provider. Leave me to my fate, daughter. Let the scales balance. And if it be vengeance, then let it be vengeance. If it be

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justice, let it be justice. (He takes her hands.) I did not live before 1947, Angela. I had no life before that time I married your mother.

I don’t ask you to forgive what went before. I don’t ask anyone to forgive what went before. Tell Magda and Karl, Jr. I have always loved them. I just hope they will understand why I am keeping silent…not out of guilt, but of reparation. (He sits back.) Now you go. Just go. Leave me here without looking back.

ANGELA: Father…

KARL: Sh! Sh! Keep only the good memories, Angela. Only the good ones. They are what is real between us. All the rest… well, they are just twisted memories and dusty crimes. Live your life without compromise, Angela. Be true to your heart no matter what. Once you begin to… well, it is like the camel getting its nose under the tent; pretty soon the whole camel is inside. Better to die with honor than to live with compromise. That’s my legacy to you. Now, go home.

Go into your life. (She stands. Takes a few steps backwards, facing her father, then turns and walks to the door, knocks on it. It opens and she leaves. The GUARD who brought KARL in opens the door SR. KARL offers his hands, the manacles are replaced and he shuffles out. When he is gone we see ANGELA walk down the corridor.

She looks into the room, stops for a moment and walks off.)

EN D OF PLAY

5

CONSUL CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S ALEXANDER CLAUDIA PROCULA PONTIUS PILATE ACME ABITHAR MIRIAM JESHUA PILO SERVANTS SOLDIERS

40, Greek educated Jewish slave 30, wife of Pontius Pilate 38, Procurator of Judea 26, Procula’s slave 40, Jewish Slave 49, mother of Jeshua 33, prophet /preacher of Galilee 6, Pilate and Procula’s son

TIME Early morning of the Friday before Passover Friday: 10:00 a.m. April 3, 33 A.D. PLACE The Antonia, Roman fortress in Jerusalem *Note: the play may be performed without intermission SYNOPSIS It’s a play that explores what might have happened on the Friday that Pontius Pilate passed a death sentence on Jesus of Nazareth. There is an old legend concerning the mother of Jesus that is used as a starting point for the script. In the legend, Mary was raped by a Roman soldier, and her child was considerably more human than we have come to believe.

One set. 4 Men. 3 Women. 1 Child.

CONSUL ACT I SETTING: A large room in the Antonia, the Roman fortress in Jerusalem near the Temple. The room is spacious with high ceilings, the vermilion painted beams just barely seen. Across the US is an open portico of five pillared “doorways� looking out on a clear sky. A large door of hammered bronze is SR. The room is sparsely furnished, a few divans and chairs, narrow tables, braziers for light. There is a bronze gong on a stand. On the terrace are lemon trees, fig trees, and orange trees in large pots. Curtains are hanging from rods between the portico columns.

AT RISE: ALEXANDER enters through the bronze doors with two servants. They are carrying a curule chair.

ALEXANDER: Put that down and go and get the special chairs.

(They leave. He moves a chair out of the way and takes the brazier SL. The servants return with two chairs made of gold and inlaid with precious stones.) Just put them here for the time being. (He motions to portico.) Bring in the platform. (They leave. He exits and brings in a Roman standard. He stands for a moment. They enter with the platform.) Here. Put it here, I think. (They place it center stage). Carpet.

(One goes back out to the portico. Base. (The other goes out the door and returns with the base for the standard. The other returns with a rolled up carpet.) Here. (The carpet is unrolled over the platform.)

There. (The base for the standard is placed US behind the platform.

Alexander puts the standard in place.) Close the drapes on two sides.

(They close the far R and far L draperies, leaving the center three open.) Now the chair. (They place the curule chair on the platform.

CLAUDIA PROCULA comes in from SL portico. They bow.)

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6

MENOF DISTINCTION CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S EDWIN DENNIS SAM DENNIS MARK JOE JACK

74 55 38 55 46 52 85

SETTINGS

SYNOPSIS

#l. An actor’s dressing room

A collection of seven (7) monologues that deals with the subject of homosexuality in a non-stereotypical way. There are seven men of various ages, from their 80s to their 30s, who deliver insights as to the “why and “how” of their sexual orientation. Each of the men is drawn from various types of work. It is an attempt to show that homosexuality is more ordinary, more normal, more common, more unnoticeable than what has been suspected by American society though certain professions (acting, dancing, etc.) might be in the stereotypical vein. It also shows how homosexuals age. Seeing that sexual orientation is not an obvious or “in your face” part of a life style, it is hoped that more tolerance, acceptance and understanding will be the result. Cast/Set Requirements: 6 Men 7 partial scenic areas

#2. Part of an apartment #3. The office of a hospital administrator #4. Another part of the apartment #5. A summer cabin in the woods. #6. An empty apartment in New York City. #7. A sun drenched condo in Palm Springs.

TIME Now for all monologues

M EN OF DIST I NCT ION ACT I MONOLOGU E #1 SETTING: US is a make-up table. There is a clothes tree with a costume hung on it, a dressing screen, a leather reclining sofa.

There is also a comfortable chair, overstuffed, with antimacassars on the back and on the arms. A matching footstool is near by. There is a small table with a carafe of water and a glass on a small table next to the chair.

AT RISE: an older actor, in a dressing gown comes from the wings.

He nods appreciatively to the audience, sits and crosses his legs.

Good evening, everyone. My name is Edwin Connors. I’m an actor.

An old actor. A very old actor. Some of you are probably saying, “ I know him from somewhere!” “Who is he; I know I know him…I just can’t recall…!” “He looks so…familiar!”

Let me save you some trouble - you won’t remember me, but, yes, you’ve seen me. Very probably. I’ve been in quite a few movies, none of them very good, in roles that were beneath me, but they paid the rent. I just missed out on the old studio system, so my career wasn’t as stellar as Donald Meeks, or Grady Sutton, or Jack Carson, or even Sonny Tufts. But, they were all the kind of roles I would be doing in films if they were making them in the 60’s and 70’s. The friend of the hero—or the friend of the friend of the hero.

Maybe one good scene if I were lucky.

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GERTRUDE, QUEENOF DENMARK CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S MATILDE SIGRID MARCUS GWELF GHOST OF OLD HAMLET GERTRUDE OPHELIA HAMLET CLAUDIUS ATTENDANT

Gertrude’s nurse, 61 Gertrude’s Lady-in-Waiting, 30 Servant, 15 Stable boy, 16 60 Queen of Denmark, 36 daugher of Polonius, 17 Prince of Denmark, 20 current King, 50

SETTINGS

SYNOPSIS

In and around the court at Elsinore.

Scene 1 - Ante-room of the Queen’s chamber Scene 2 - The bed chamber of the Queen Scene 3 - A room in the Queen’s chambers Scene 4 - The bed chamber of the Queen Scene 5 - A room in the Queen’s chambers Scene 6 - A room in the Queen’s chambers Scene 7 - A room in the Queen’s chambers Scene 8 - The bed chamber of the Queen Scene 9 - The throne room/court room in the Palace Scene 10 - A room in the Queen’s chambers

GERTRUDE, the Queen of Denmark attempts to fill in gaps in the Shakespeare play about Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark. In the more familiar story, the ghost of dead King Hamlet, and only the ghost, tells his son that his mother had betrayed him with his uncle. This knowledge drives Hamlet pell mell into his revenge. The question in this play is: what if the ghost was lying? What if the ghost only assumed his wife had betrayed him? Do ghosts know anymore dead than when alive? Why do the living assume that ghosts are speaking the truth? How do the living do battle with apparitions filled with revenge? Is there escape from the supernatural, 4 Female, 6 Male, 10 Scenes.

GERT RU DE , QU E E N OF DE N M A R K SCENE I SCENE: Winter. A storm is raging outside the castle at Ellsinore.

MATILDE, nurse to GERTRUDE, and SIGRID, GERTRUDE’S Lady-in-Waiting are in the ante-room next to GERTRUDE’S bedroom. The fire in the fireplace is beginning to die. Both women are agitated.

AT RISE: MATILDE sits by the fire wrapped in a fur. SIGRID paces.

MATILDE: The fire is starting to die.

SIGRID: The house is full of death, Matilde. That the fire is dying is only fitting.

MATILDE: It doesn’t have to. Send Marcus for more wood.

SIGRID: These are evil times, Matilde. Evil!

MATILDE: Does that affect the wood? Does evil wood burn as easily as good wood? What is it they say in the Holy Book?

SIGRID: They talk only about dry wood and green.

MATILDE: Evil wood gives the same heat, Sigrid. Sometimes, it seems, evil generates even more heat. It is too cold for philosophy.

Send for Marcus.

SIGRID: What do you say?

MATILDE: Agh, you are distracted, Sigrid. (She rises and goes to the door and opens it.) He is asleep. (She kicks the sleeping boy.)

Wake up, Marcus. Wake up! Fetch us some good wood. (She shuts the door.) What is it that troubles you so?

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8

MANOF STONE If such a gift I truly have been given And yet, divided, torn, still burn and stray He is to blame who fashioned me for fire.

Michelangelo SONNET - XVII

CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S MICHELANGELO BUONARROTI PAOLO TOPOLINO ADEODATO TOPOLINO LIONARDO BUONARROTI GIACOMMO AKA SALAI LEONARDO DA VINCI CARDINAL GIULIANDO DELLA ROVERE BARTOLAMEO CONTESSINA DE MEDICI

SETTING Florence, Italy – Michelangelo’s workshop in the Duomo workyard.

TIME 1501 – 1503 ACT ONE SCENE ONE: AUTUMN 1501 ACT ONE SCENE TWO: TWO WEEKS LATER ACT ONE SCENE THREE: ONE WEEK LATER ACT ONE SCENE FOUR: TWO DAYS LATER ACT TWO SCENE ONE: TWO WEEKS LATER ACT TWO SCENE TWO: ONE WEEK LATER ACT TWO SCENE THREE: TWENTY-SIX MONTHS LATER

26…sculptor 52…stone cutter, old friend 19…apprentice to Michelangelo, model for David 28…Michelangelo’s brother, a Dominican monk 20…student and intimate of Da Vinci 49…artist and friend 58…future Pope Julius 1 clerical assistant to Cardinal Della Rovere 23…daughter of Lorenzo the Magnificent

SYNOPSIS An exploration of the soul of a Renaissance artistic genius, and the source of his artistic inspiration. Michelangelo Buonarroti’s magnificent David is the focus of his anxiety, personal conflict and life choices.

One set. 7men. 1 Woman

M A N OF STON E ACT I SCENE I SETTING: It is the outdoor workroom of MICHELANGELO BUONARROTI in the Duomo workyard. It is open to the sky. US is a brick wall with a slanted roof nearly covering the top of the huge 16 foot stone. There is forge SR for keeping tools sharp with a paved floor. SL is a low plank wall with an iron grillwork gate USL. The Duomo can be seen in the vast expanse of Florence sky. A large oak tree is SL with a variety of bushes and flowering vines over and on top of the plank fence. In the center of the stage dominating everything, is a large block of white marble seriously gouged in the center with a knot of fabric sticking out toward the top, the work of another sculptor.)

AT RISE: A party has just ended, remnants of which remain on stage.

MICHELANGELO BUONORATTI sits with his back to the audience. He addresses the stone.)

MICHELANGELO: So, we are alone now. Finally! What do you have to say to me? (Pause.) I’m listening. (Pause.) Nothing, eh? So, this is going to be a battle, is it? (He goes to the stone and slaps it.) Well, who’s in there? (He puts his face close to the stone.) I can hear you in there. (He puts his tongue against it.) I can taste you. (Both arms go against the stone. US PAOLO enters. He sees MICHELANGELO and waits.) I can feel you. Tell me…

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GOODBYE, UNTILWE MEETAGAIN CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S BRAD LEVINSON TECHNICIAN MARIE ANDERSON MATT EVANS KATHLEEN CAMERON TOM FLAHERTY GERRY NICOTERO

production assistant, indeterminate age indeterminate age 52, assistant/secretary to KATHLEEN CAMERON 40, television interviewer 86, but looks 60s, former movie star sound man, indeterminate age sound man, indeterminate age SETTING

The living room of Kathleen Cameron on the Upper East Side of New York City TIME November of 2006 SYNOPSIS GOODBYE, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN is a play about celebrity, the movie industry, the price of fame, and late motherhood through an interview with KATHLEEN CONNORS, a mythical movie star of the 40’s/50’s who retired at the peak of her career. Though not looking at all her 86 years, she decides she will break her reclusive silence to “set the record straight”. Winner of two back to back Oscars and a third for Lifetime Achievement, she entertains MATT EVANS, from The World Today TV, in her Upper East Side New York apartment. Through her breezy recollections of the famous and not so famous, she hopscotches through old films, leading men, directors and lovers and gives an insight into what makes actresses tick. One set. 2 Women 4 Men

GOODBY E, U N TIL W E M E ET AGA I N ACT I SCENE: We are in the town house of KATHLEEN CAMERON, a legendary film actress. The room is comfortable, elegant, with loads of bookcases, memorabilia and a series of windows US with a window seat cushioned and pillowed that overlooks the Hudson River. There is a fireplace and mantle SR with a huge portrait of KATHLEEN as Queen Elizabeth I over the mantelpiece. There are several wing back chairs in a bright floral print and two yellow sofas. There are end tables with lamps with silk shades. The coffee table is full of books, bowls of fruit and nuts and an Academy Award. It is homey and comfortable.

AT RISE: A technician is positioning some lights and there is a small cart with sound equipment on the edges of the room, unobtrusive and out of the way. A boom mike leans against it. The technician turns dials, checks levels, runs cable. BRAD, the person in charge is all over the room making sure things are where they need to be.

BRAD: Let’s go, people. She’s going to be here any minute. Where’s Matt? Anyone seen Matt?

TECHNICIAN: He’s outside in the makeup van.

BRAD: Somebody go get him. Let’s move this show along, folks.

Come on. (MARIE, KATHLEEN’S secretary/assistant enters.)

MARIE: Oh, dear. Oh dear. This is not good. (She goes up to BRAD.) Young man!

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RAMPART STREET LITURGIES CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S FLEURY GAUTIER HONORE DECATURE BASTILLE DECATURE CELESTE MARTINE LOUIS METOYER, AKA SHOO JOZETTE DELPHINE DE VANNES RIMA DE VANNES JETER CHARLEY, HARLEY, BRENNAN MCAFEE VICOMTE DE PERSIGNEY LOUIS NAPOLEON EUGENIE PINKNEY DANFORTH

a black woman of Caribbean ancestry. Tall, beautiful, cultured. The mistress of a Creole gentleman in New Orleans.

The mother of his son. her white aristocratic lover and father of her son. beautiful child of Fleury and Honore.

Southern white wife of Honore. free Negro playmate and contemporary of Bastille. neighbor to Fleury on Rampart Street. A free black woman.

Jozette’s niece.

Delphine’s daughter. an old black male slave. sailors. patron of Bastille in France President of France Napoleon’s wife friend of Honore

SETTING

SYNOPSIS

Multiple/Fragmenting

RAMPART STREET LITURGIES: INTROIT, GLORIA, AGNUS DEI, REQUIEM - traces the life of Fleury Gautier on Rampart Streets in New Orleans for a period of 30 years before the Civil War.

TIME 1825-1865

* Note: many of the small parts and non-speaking appearances can be played by actors doubling

RAMPART STREET LITURGIES ACT 1 / I N T ROI D ABOUT THE PRODUCTION: There should be a consistent theatrical quality about the play. There should never be walls. All the action takes place in the void of the stage. Certain articles will appear and disappear on palettes. There is a great use of sound effects‌birds, boat whistles, the snatch of a tune. Divided in to four sections: Introit, Gloria, Agnus Dei and Requiem.

SCENE: In the darkness, the sound of swamp birds calling, the horn of a riverboat, and a brief delicate melody played on a clavichord.

AT RISE: A small gilt chair, a table with a tea service, and a streamer trunk are on the stage. FLEURY GAUTIER, a tall black woman, wearing an elaborate tigon wrapped about her head and a white apron over her dress, enters. She carries a basket over one arm. She stands for a moment and regards the audience. She walks down.

FLEURY: Da world be crowed wid ghosts, don’t you know. (Actors who will be in the play appear from the back and can be vaguely seen in the dim light. They stand silently looking out.) Life be crowded wid ghosts. Wid memories of da past. Wid connections to our lives. (The actors step back into the shadows.) But dis is my life. Dis is da story of my life. Eberyting began so simply, it seemed. But seeming was all dat was simple. It was all, from de first baby step to de last spade of earth on de casket, an elaborate ritual worked out by some mysterious God, who gave de gift of truth to de French, den to de Irish, den de Spanish, to de French again, den to de revolutionaries from Santo Domingo, den to de Yankees dat Plays from the Mind of Robert Michael Morris

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WASHINGTON MONUMENT CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S ALICE ROOSEVELT LONGWORTH SETTING The Living Room of Alice Roosevelt Longworth TIME 1977 SYNOPSIS One woman show about Alice Roosevelt Longworth, the oldest daughter of Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States. Alice is 93 when the play begins and plays herself at distinct ages throughout her life. One woman. One unit set with scrims and use of projected photographs.

WA SH I NGT ON MON U M E N T ACT I SETTING: We are in the living room of ALICE ROOSEVELT LONGWORTH. on Massachusetts Avenue in Washington DC, right off Dupont Circle. There is a wine colored velvet sofa which dominates the USC of the stage. It is slip-covered in a lovely floral chintz pattern.

In front of the sofa is a low coffee table with cups and saucers in a Rose Medallion pattern and a few tall glasses with silver handles; both are for drinking tea, the tall glasses the Russian style of tea drinking. There is a large silver kettle for the water, kept boiling by a silver lamp. Plates of homemade cakes and cookies are out as is a plate of exquisitely fine bread and butter sandwiches. There are tables on either side of the sofa with lamps. On one table, SL sits a large, old fashioned black telephone. When ALICE answers the phone, she leans right across the sofa until she almost reclines as she cradles the outsized receiver to her ear. Also on the sofa is the famous velvet pillow embroidered with the saying: “If you haven’t got anything good to say about anyone come and sit by me.” There is a variety of chairs in the room and a large wing chair to the L, behind which is a grand piano laden with old albums, photos (the Dowager Empress of China in a silver frame, the Emperor of Korea in an ornate bronze frame of circling dragons, family, events, presidents, the Queen of England and her father), sheet music and exotic bits of memorabilia. Over the sofa, USC is a huge French tapestry which serves as a scrim when needed. On SR is another vertical scrim panel, the double doorway into the room and a wall running US with a mantelpiece, again laden with memorabilia, ornate candelabra and a large painting of ALICE Plays from the Mind of Robert Michael Morris

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ALINE OFBEES CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S ABIGAIL ARNOLD

a woman in her 70s a man in his 70s

SETTING Their living room.

TIME A summer afternoon. Now. SYNOPSIS An aged couple trapped in their rockers by a line of bees swarming through their house discover that their first sexual encounter was not with each other. One set. 1 Man, 1 Woman.

A LI N E OF BEES AT RISE: Two rocker-lounge chairs upholstered in an early-American print are center stage. To the R of the S.R. chair is a small, wooden table of the type that has a recessed top and a drawer where knitting is kept. To the L of the S.L. chair is a round, wooden table with a place between the legs near the floor for storing Field and Stream. Behind each chair is a metal lamp with a pale silk shade, heavily pleated and arranged for reading. The lamps are lighted by pulling a small chain. On the floor is a circular rug, situated in such a way that it just reaches the far corners of the chairs. It would be impossible to sit in the chairs and not touch the rug. S.D.R. and D.S. L. are the window frames of this obviously modest home. They are curtained in a stiff white cloth tied back with a ruffled tie. They are open. ABIGAIL and ARNOLD are sitting in their chairs. Both are elderly.

ABIGAIL: (knitting) I said to Mrs. Wilson, I don’t know why she stays with him. (pause) God knows he abuses the poor creature to death. If she had any sense at all she would leave him. (pause)Serve him right, too. (pause) But then, there are the children to consider. (pause) Mae isn’t as pretty as she once was. (pause)Poor lamb. Never was a sweeter girl to walk the earth. (pause)She sure has had it rough with Barney. (pause) She sure isn’t as young as she used to be.

ARNOLD: (Reading Field and Stream) Who’s that, Abbey?

ABIGAIL: Mae Williams! Mrs. Wilson was saying how Barney had beat in the television set and struck Mae. Right in front of the children! I told her I don’t see why she stays with him.

ARNOLD: What’s Mrs. Wilson doing with Barney Williams?

ABIGAIL: The man’s a beast.

ARNOLD: When did she leave Harry?

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FIRSTLADY OFTHE AMERICAN THEATER TIME The present SYNOPSIS A monologue by a distinguished older actress about life in the theatre and the stature of Helen Hayes. Bitchy. Humorous. Poignant.

Cast/Set Requirements: One woman Bare stage with drapes. (10 min. play)

F I R S T L A DY O F T H E A M E R IC A N T H E AT E R SETTING: A stage...anywhere and everywhere.

LIGHTS UP. A regal and graceful woman of advanced years enters from the wings. She is dressed in softly f lowing silks and chiffons, a delicate scarf around her neck, a belt of silver mesh around her tiny waist. Her dress is long sleeved; it is tight around the arms and accentuates her long, graceful, and expressive hands. Her shoes, high heels and seductive for a woman of her age, match the rich colors of her dress. She comes to center stage and regards the audience, her arms thrusting gracefully out, spreading widely to encircle them, then come back and are clasped together at her heart. She then puts her hands out, palms toward to audience – a signal to them that she is about to speak.)

I could never understand – even comprehend- why they always called Helen Hayes the “First Lady of the American Theatre.”

(She pauses.) The First Lady of the American Theatre! (She does a kind of regal wave, mock humility bow; arms open wide acknowledging grand applause and adulation.)

She didn’t do that much theatre, you ask me. Oh, back in its infancy! Right after the somewhat truncated run of “Our American Cousin”. With the Drews and early Barrymores. Maude Adams. Back in the days when Tallulah was a virgin, dahling! But she got out when the going got good! I’ve never been a big follower of athletics, but that Mr. Vincent Lombardi said one or two bright things. You know…that pithy little aphorism about “when the going got tough…you know. Well, never mind.

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Helen took one of the first trains out of Grand Central headed toward Hollywood!(She says the word with loathing and repulsion.)

Oh, I don’t want to sound petty. I hope I’m not sounding petty. I don’t want to. There is so much pettiness in our business as it is. Mostly among agents…and producers…and casting directors…and other actors. I hope I haven’t arrived at my age, all of my experiences, all my successes trailing off behind me like so much stardust only to find myself petty. It is an occupational hazard in a business that depends almost exclusively on the good graces of others.

Where was I? Oh, yes, I just never understood why people kept referring to Helen as the First Lady of…well, you know the rest.

She went into films as fast as her short little legs could carry her.

Oh, didn’t I say that? Helen was short of stature…very short … almost short enough to call her a perfectly formed dwarf. She played Queen Victoria! Big deal! Excuse my vulgarity. But really, dear friends, who in this country had ever seen Queen Victoria? Who in this country has ever seen a real queen? (She pauses and looks at the audience coyly.)

I’m not going there! That would be too easy…I know what side my theatrical bread is buttered on…if you will excuse the preposition.

There were other actresses in the theatre; there have been other actresses in the theatre at the same time and since Miss Hayes who have given their life to the performance of live theatre. Living theatre! Every night being on a stage in front of hundreds of hungry eyes who come to you as some sort of priestess… to remove their sins, their fears…their boredom. And, year after year, show after show, failure after success you stay on the stage. You don’t go running off in search of the fast buck or the bubble notoriety! Someone has to stay and tend the flame! Someone has to give up their life to remain and fight the nightly battles. And what do

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you have to show for it, you might ask? Oh, my darlings, my dear ones, you have such memories! Along the way you even pick up a few awards, little trinkets of appreciation that need an occasional dusting, get an article or two in Time magazine or the New York Times-I have my very own Hirshfeld-, a paragraph or two in a biography of some notable playwright, especially if you endure. If you endure you rapidly become an anomaly. That’s because everyone else has decamped for California, where, like sweet little Rosemary DeCamp they begin playing mothers when they should be playing Hedda! (She lowers her voice and speaks conspiratorially.)

I played Hedda! I was very good. I was a very good Hedda! Very good. My Hedda was so good no one wanted me to shoot myself.

Imagine…a Hedda you could love. They loved me. Well, never mind. I also played ingénues and the most delicious villianesses…there’s more esses in that than in Cleopatra’s basket! By the way, you should have seen my Ftatateeta! Judith Anderson was green! She was also, like Helen, …short! Did I say Helen was a dwarf? Anyway, she…Helen…abandoned the stage…I didn’t!

Why then is she called the First Lady of the American Theatre?

Can you answer me that?

She also married! She had a life. She had something to go home to. Those of us who are dedicated, working, dedicated actresses had none of that. If we were lucky…and I have been very lucky I must say that…have had to be satisfied with a string of lovers.

Some of us had…and this is not a lame analogy…a stable of lovers. (She pauses and smiles.)

But never…I repeat…I am emphatic about this…would I – we ever allow them to move in with us. Absolutely not! My lover, if you will, is the stage. It is a jealous lover. It takes your time your energy, your sweat, your tears, and…oh, all right, you expect me to say it so I will...your blood! Everything. Everything.

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It demands your soul. Your...being. Your essence. Your life. I have no children. I have no family. I have no home…oh, I have a lovely rent-controlled apartment in a perfect location here in town. And there is no truth at all to the rumor that I paid my first month’s rent with beads and wampum! Although I have been there a long time. I have my little day job teaching acting at the college to all those fresh faced, shining, eager young collegians who arrive here daily with hopes of being a servant of the stage. I can spot those who are artificial, who really want stardom! Who really want the money. To be a personality! To be on the cover of People Magazine! Repulsive. New York often just becomes a waiting room for a Los Angeles casting director. As soon as they are noticed, they leave… like Helen. If they have the face that…

I am not a conventional beauty, by the way. I know that. Robert Benchly once said that I had a face that ”launched a thousand quips!” Not bad for an inebriate!

Helen’s face was pretty enough in a sort of treacly, saccharine way. Her little turned up nose which worked wonderfully for those Peg-O-My Heart parts that she was born to play. She also had a very small upper lip. Did you ever notice that? She did.

Look at the pictures! Almost no upper lip at all. She was a chink in the classical beauty mold. And although I wasn’t beautiful, in the conventional sense, I had luminosity. I had presence. You can’t teach that, learn that, buy that or concoct it out of artful lighting! And I have it. I have it in spades!

So, tell me, please, why is Helen Hayes called the “First Lady of American Theatre” when I have been working here for nearly fifty years, not running after celebrity but serving the plays, the glorious words of brilliant minds, with luminosity, with presence, and am known only by that select little group called “my peers? Why is that? Helen had a better press agent. Here is what I propose: Since I am a dinosaur…oh, my darlings…look around

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FIRST LADY OF THE AMERICAN THEATER

and here I am (Her arms go out, she walks around, throws her arms up over her head and slides her hands down her sides to rest on her hips, a la Sadie Thompson) C’est moi! (She goes into as much of a grand “Pavlova bow” as possible) …the last of a vanishing breed…a stage actress. An actress of and for the stage! I’m getting a press agent, I think. After all these years, I’m getting a press agent. At my age, I appreciate the celebrity. Here I am:(Her arms go over her head, the line of her body arcing and stretching from the tip of her toe to her fingertips.

The TALLEST Lady of the American Theatre!

LIGHTS OUT QUICKLY

EN D OF PLAY

14

APPALA CHIAN SPRING CAST OF CH A R ACT ER S MARTHA HARGUS SYLVIA HARGUS ROSEMARY ALICE HARGUS LUCINDA LOU HARGUS ELMER BURCHFIELD LONNIE HARGUS LUTHER BIGGERT BILL HARGUS ALBERTA BIGGERT REV. HOWELL

34, looks older, pretty, worn 18, vivacious, pretty 11 10 28 17 21 53 44 60

SETTING The action takes place before the house of MARTHA HARGUS in Wallins Creek, KY. TIME Spring - 1963

SYNOPSIS APPALACHIAN SPRING is the story of MARTHA HARGUS and her life in Wattlin’s Creek, Kentucky. She is a widow with four children, the oldest, SYLVIA (18), is romantically involved with LUTHER BIGGERT (21). MARTHA has a secret reason to dislike LUTHER. Her 16 year old son, LONNIE works for the same mining company that runs the mine where his father was killed. ELMER, a widower with a young daughter, begins to court MARTHA even though she is older than he is. The awful secret about MARTHA’S dislike for LUTHER comes out and is later clarified when ALBERTA, his mother, and MARTHA’S brother-in-law, BILL come to the house. By the end of the play, both MARTHA and ELMER have found a new beginning for their lives and SYLVIA and LUTHER begin to follow their dreams.

3 –F, 2 F children, 4-M. One setting

A P PA L AC H I A N S P R I N G ACT I SCENE I SETTING: A cabin in the back woods of Kentucky. There is a porch that is in disrepair but has been painted white. The shutters on the window are painted a mottled orange, from mixing red and yellow paint. There are tin chairs on the porch with bright chintz pillows on the seats. Next to the two steps leading up to the porch is a concrete cement pipe from some construction site which has been turned into a planter with a riot of wildflowers growing in it.

AT RISE: MARTHA HARGUS comes out of the house and looks to the sky. She is of an indeterminate age, but looks older than she probably is.

MARTHA: Another lovely day. (She sits.) Thank you, Lord, for this lovely day. Thou has made the sky such a pretty blue an the flower all the colors of Your rainbow. Thank you. Thank you. (She sits for a moment. SYLVIA comes on stage R.) SYLVIA: Hi, Momma. You feelin’ better today? I tried not to wake you when I left this mornin’.

MARTHA: I’m fine, sweetheart. Who couldn’t be fine on a day like today?

SYLVIA: Oh, I’m about beat. I was on my feet all day today. (She sits on the step and takes her shoes and stockings off.) Oh, that’s so much better. (Pause.) Did the postman bring anything for me today?

Plays from the Mind of Robert Michael Morris

599

LUTHER: You’re right. Yup, you’re right.

SYLVIA: You didn’t say anything about my dress! (She turns around, showing it.)

LUTHER: It’s a real pretty dress, Sylvia and you are real pretty in it. I didn’t say anything ‘cause I didn’t want you to think I was…

Gee, it’s like walkin’ on egg shells.

SYLVIA: Oh, it’s those durn chickens, they keep getting’ out.

LUTHER: No, not real egg shells, like trying to say something…oh, never mind. You look more than pretty, Sylvia, you look beautiful.

SYLVIA: Friends?

LUTHER: Forever.

SYLVIA: And we can write each other. Every day. I got a friend who works in the Post Office and he’ll make sure the mail goes through.

Let’s go get us some cake! (They take hands and run into the house as REV. HOWELL leaves. He walks to the gate.)

REV. HOWELL: (He looks up and out.) My! My, my, my, my. This has got to be the prettiest view in the valley. Lord, You have outdone Yourself. And there is nothing more beautiful, nothing more upliftin’ than spring in Your Appalachia. (He goes off R. Lights fade down with sounds of laughter from the house.)

FINIS

ROBERT MICHAEL MORRIS Robert Michael Morris has been writing plays for many years. Born and raised in Northern Kentucky, he joined a religious order of men, the Marianists, and was a high school teacher for ten years before he left the order and joined a classical repertory touring company, National Players, performing in almost each of the fifty states in roles as diverse as Jacques in The Miser to Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew. He then began teaching at the college level, eventually running the Drama or Performing Arts Departments at three different colleges: Gannon University and Mercyhurst College in Erie, Pennsylvania and Urbana University in Urbana, Ohio. He is a graduate of the University of Dayton and the Catholic University of America, where he received a Shubert Fellowship in Playwriting and a Master of Fine Arts Degree (Playwriting).

During all this time he was writing, first for his high schools, then colleges and professional theatre. His work has been done on both coasts and several states in-between, and some have received awards. He has worked as an actor on stage, television and film; directed academic, stock and Off-OffBroadway productions; designed costumes, sets, posters and programs; choreographed and swept out the theatre. He has twice been accepted at the Last Frontier – Edward Albee Theatre Conference in Valdez, Alaska.

He lives in Paramount, California and was most recently seen on television as Mickey Deanne in the HBO series The Comeback with Lisa Kudrow and Mr. Lunt in Running Wilde with Keri Russell. He has guest starred on Will & Grace, Arrested Development, The Class, How I Met Your Mother, and Brothers and Sisters. He was also starred in Lez Be Friends, two episodes of a cable series, and Community Service, an unsold pilot for NBC. And he continues to write…and write…and write.

Plays from the Mind of Robert Michael Morris

643

Morris’ plays embody the stage’s possibilities for magic, encompassing an epic essence that will speak to the minds and hearts of all nations.

ISBN: 978-958-99523-5-1