Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 34, No. 1

All We Need Is Love Is All We Need

C R E A T I N G

A

M O R E

P O S I T I V E

R E H O B O T H

February 2, 2024 Volume 34, Number 1 camprehoboth.com

inside 4 In Brief 6 From the Executive Director KIM LEISEY, PHD

8 President’s View WES COMBS

10 Vice President’s View LESLIE LEDOGAR

12 CAMP News 14 CAMP Rehoboth Advocacy

Automatic Voter Registration

16 Lessons in Automation

THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 34, NUMBER 1 • FEBRUARY 2, 2024

24 Health & Wellness

70 Buy-ways

SHARON MORGAN

MIKEY ROX

The (Not So) Tell-Tale Heart

Queer-ish Valentine’s Gifts

28 CAMP Rehoboth’s Newest Board Members NANCY SAKADUSKI

30 Hopping Aboard the Marrakesh Express Lessons Learned

74 Celebrity Interview

FAY JACOBS

Bianca Del Rio Hits the Road

32 It’s My Life

MICHAEL COOK

It’s Time to Play the Music MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

34 CAMP Stories Retirement Worries

DON’T WRITE US A CHECK SONDRA N. ARKIN

RICH BARNETT

18 Journey Toward Healthcare Equity

Share the Love

38 Words Matter CLARENCE FLUKER

NANCY SAKADUSKI

L-R: Steve Pufka, Tim Bean, Mike Safina, Jimmy Falls, Cody Woodfin, Tommy McGarry, Steve Mangean at Diego’s Bar & Nightclub, Rehoboth See more CAMPshots, page 52.

Black and White Bread Pudding ED CASTELLI

40 Sailors’ Valentines An Octagon of Shells MARY JO TARALLO

46 Women’s FEST Sneak Peek NANCY SAKADUSKI

22 Community News

76 Sea Salt Table

60 In Praise of Prophylactics

Can’t We Just Talk?

CHRISTOPHER MOORE

62 CAMP Arts

80 The Real Dirt

Barking Up the Right Tree ERIC WAHL

82 We Remember

LESLIE SINCLAIR

50 Out & About

In Defense of “Openly Gay”

ON THE COVER

ERIC PETERSON

52 CAMPshots

American Beauty

Photo by Murray Archibald

A Very Gay Holiday!

56 Straight Talk

Speak Out Against Hate DAVID GARRETT

58 How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count 14 Ways STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

64 Grasping at Straws

But Please—Not Plastic Ones TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

68 Historical Headliners Emperor Ai and Dong Xian ANN APTAKER

See page 38

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions.

Email editor@camprehoboth.com. Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi). Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date.

Letters to the Editor (up to 300 words) are published at the discretion of the Editor on a space-available basis.

Letters may be edited for length or clarity.

Letters 2

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

EDITOR Marj Shannon EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE Matty Brown DESIGN AND LAYOUT Mary Beth Ramsey ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Tricia Massella DISTRIBUTION Mark Wolf CONTRIBUTORS: Ann Aptaker, Sondra N. Arkin, Rich Barnett, Matty Brown, Ed Castelli, Wes Combs, Michael Cook, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, David Garrett, Fay Jacobs, Leslie Ledogar, Kim Leisey, Tricia Massella, Christopher Moore, Sharon Morgan, Eric Peterson, Mary Beth Ramsey, Stephen Raskauskas, Mikey Rox, Nancy Sakaduski, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Marj Shannon, Leslie Sinclair, Mary Jo Tarallo, Eric Wahl

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended in any way, to imply sexual orientation or gender identity. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. © 2024 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the editor.

From the Editor

CAMP REHOBOTH

MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE

BY MARJ SHANNON, EDITOR

MISSION

CAMP Rehoboth is an LGBTQ+ community center dedicated to Creating A More Positive (CAMP) environment that is inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Southern Delaware and beyond. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to promote cooperation, well-being, and understanding among all people, as it continues working to build a safer community with room for all.

VISION

CAMP Rehoboth envisions communities in Southern Delaware and beyond where all LGBTQ+ people thrive.

PURPOSE

Promoting the health and wellness of our community through a variety of programs including HIV testing and counseling, mental health support, fitness classes, mindfulness classes, support for LGBTQ youth, and building community and support.

Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking, and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of LGBTQ people.

Advocating for our community to build a safe and inclusive community through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates.

Education and outreach to the larger community, including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of LGBTQ people and our allies.

Networking resources and information by publishing a newsletter, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

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ood news, Letters’ Readers—after our annual January publication hiatus, we’re back! This issue kicks off the 34th volume of the magazine. It’s great to have you paging through—electronically or in hard copy. We’ve got lots to share with you.

February has so much to celebrate—it’s Black History Month and American Heart Month. Then, there’s Women’s Heart Week and National Condom Week (who knew?!). Also, Valentine’s Day and Skip the Straw Day. And Letters has something to say about them all.

Want to honor Black History Month with some local culture? See page 22 for some options, ranging from music to literature to ballet. And come February 11, stop by the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery for the artists’ reception for I Belong, a juried exhibit of work by artists who are Black, Indigenous, or people of color. You can read more about the exhibit on page 62.

As for those other notable February dates—Sharon Morgan tackles heart health, and Christopher Moore—a one-time sex educator—offers a paean to prophylactics. Terri Schlichenmeyer gets us up-to-speed on straws.

And Valentine’s Day? Mary Jo Tarallo found some spectacular sailors’ valentines created by two local artists, and Clarence Fluker reflects on Valentines he’s received. Stephen Raskauskas’s brings us “How Do I Love Me?“ tips, and Mikey Rox has compiled a Valentine’s Day gift guide. Ed Castelli enumerates many of the things he loves—meanwhile telling us how to whip up a scrumptious dessert to share with our special someone(s).

There’s lots of CAMP news, too. The CAMP Rehoboth Board has welcomed two new members in recent months—meet Polly Donaldson and Michelle Manfredi on page 28. Behind the scenes, CAMP’s databases have undergone a massive transition; Sondra Arkin shares some lessons learned along the way. Perhaps more readily apparent, the campus has enjoyed a major refresh and renovation.

Want to admire the results? There will be an open house on February 15, from 4:00 till 6:00 p.m.—stop by!

PRESIDENT Wesley Combs VICE PRESIDENT Leslie Ledogar SECRETARY Mike DeFlavia TREASURER Polly Donaldson AT-LARGE DIRECTORS Amanda Mahony Albanese, Pat Catanzariti, Lewis Dawley, David Garrett, Jenn Harpel, Kim Leisey (non-voting), Michelle Manfredi, Teri Seaton, and Jason D. White

And—if it’s late-winter—then Women’s FEST can’t be far behind, right? See page 46 for a sneak preview; you’ll want to save those dates to your calendar.

Comments or questions or story ideas? You can reach me at editor@ camprehoboth.com. Thanks for reading Letters. ▼

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Kim Leisey

CAMP REHOBOTH 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | email editor@camprehoboth.com www.camprehoboth.com

CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. is tax-exempt under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code. Contributions to CAMP Rehoboth are considered charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes and may be deducted to the fullest extent of the law.

A copy of our exemption document is available for public inspection.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

3 Letters

Open House at CAMP Rehoboth

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oin us at CAMP Rehoboth on Thursday, February 15, 4:00-6:00 p.m., for an open house. Over the course of the past several months, CAMP Rehoboth has undergone several major renovations, including new carpeting, ceilings, solar panels, and an upgraded light and sound system, among others. Renovations have been made possible by the Community Reinvestment Fund’s Bond Bill, from which CAMP Rehoboth was allocated $460,000 over the past two fiscal years. These projects will not only provide a more welcoming environment for the community center’s programs and services, but they will also allow CAMP Rehoboth to be more sound, safe, and sustainable.

CAMP Rehoboth cordially invites its rainbow members—and all community members interested in seeing the facelift—to join us for light refreshments, tours, and a chance to enjoy the refreshed environment. ▼

Mark Your Calendars! DoMore24

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o More 24 Delaware is an annual 24-hour online fundraiser, designed as a fun and easy way for the entire community to participate in philanthropy and benefit nonprofits serving Delaware. This year, Do More 24 will occur from 6:00 p.m. on March 7 to 6:00 p.m. on March 8.

Along with other local non-profits, CAMP Rehoboth will be participating in this fundraiser. Keep CAMP Rehoboth in your giving plans and check our social media and website for more information on how donations made during the 24-hour period will make a difference. ▼

Toy/Clothing Drive Update

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hen CAMP Rehoboth, the CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP), and the Rehoboth Beach Bears partnered for the annual Toy & Clothing Drive, the community once again answered in a resounding way.

This year, there were five recipient organizations: ACE Peer Resource Center, Sussex Wellness Center, Orgullo Delaware, Lighthouse for Broken Wings, Community Resource Center; also benefiting was a special family with needs.

Across multiple events and donation centers at Above the Dunes, Aqua Bar & Grill, the Auto Gallery of Delaware, CAMP Rehoboth, The Pines, and Freddie’s Beach Bar, this year’s successful drive yielded: 471 toys; 207 Letters 4

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GMCW Dazzles with SELFIEs

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n Saturday, January 13, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington (GMCW) delivered three performances of their “SELFIES” cabaret. With 12 soloists and an accompanist, heartwarming stories set the stage for moving and hilarious renditions of contemporary classics and original songs.

Missed this round of performances?

CAMP Rehoboth and the GMCW have already penciled in next year’s cabaret date: Saturday, January 18, 2025. ▼ Photo credit: Peter Pizzolongo.

Women’s FEST Passes, Tickets, and Sports!

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hats, gloves and scarves; 93 coats; and 68 adult clothes and shoes.

Additionally, this year, CAMP Rehoboth community members donated items for 31 youth active at West Side New Beginnings. ▼

omen’s FEST is taking over Rehoboth Beach from April 25-28, 2024. Watch throughout this month for many more announcements from the dedicated FEST Committee about the developing lineup of activities. Meanwhile, for a sneak peek, visit page 46.

Once again, FEST Sports events will go on sale first. Then, FEST Passes and all event tickets will follow, closer to the end of February. As a benefit to CAMP Rehoboth rainbow members, advance tickets will go on sale exclusively to members for a limited time before becoming available to the general public. Stay tuned to the website and the Women’s FEST Facebook page for continual updates. ▼

On the Cover: Meet Tiffanni Felder

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iffanni Felder is the first cover star for Letters’ volume 34! Also known as Princess Escade, her name appropriately announces her royalty status; Princess is an influential figure in the local LGBTQ+ community.

In January 2023, Princess began her reign as Miss Gay Wilmington by winning the pageant (of the same name) at Crimson Moon. Last month, Princess relinquished her crown to 2024’s title winner—Rehoboth Beach’s own Diamond Doll.

“I enjoyed my reign as Miss Gay Wilmington. I was able to use the platform to meet a lot of beautiful people and gain some family, and I got to express myself through entertaining,” said Felder.

As an out-and-proud trans Black woman, Tiffanni’s performances are powerful and empowering. Plus, she witnessed transferable value from her pageant skills. “Because of pageantry I have a different outlook on life when it pertains to being professional and looking the part at all times.”

When she’s not competing, Tiffanni has been working on charting a better future for the LGBTQ+ community in central Delaware. Citing the lack of resources available to trans and LGBTQ+ community members in Camden and Dover, Felder was motivated to open The First State Outreach Center (TFSOC) in 2021. The nonprofit will look to offering services like HIV/STI testing, support groups, transportation services, fellowship, and fun events.

Felder had to pause the center’s development to look after her 14-year-old daughter and to find a grant writer who could help secure organizational funding. Regardless, Felder shared that her passion lies in bettering the lives of the local LGBTQ+ community. Given that spark, readers should note TFSOC as a resource to watch. Be sure to follow TFSOC on Facebook for further updates. ▼

– TRAVELS WITH LETTERS –

OLIVIA PUNTA CANA RESORT

Rehoboth Women, October 2023

Membership Listing Set to Publish Seasonally

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ith a new year comes new changes: moving forward, the CAMP Rehoboth Rainbow Membership listing will be published three times per year. The listing will be published seasonally—with the first full listing slated for April 2024.

Rainbow members will continue to enjoy the following benefits: advance notice of ticket sales to CAMP Rehoboth events, rainbow level colored member window cling(s), the weekly “What’s Happening at CAMP Rehoboth” email, a discount on CAMP Rehoboth event tickets for levels green and above (as requested), and the satisfaction of knowing that your membership helps CAMP further its mission to promote cooperation and understanding as we continue to build a safer community with room for all. ▼

VIKING RIVER CRUISES | RHINE RIVER Black Forest Day—Breitnau, Germany FEBRUARY 2, 2024

5 Letters

From the Executive Director

BY KIM LEISEY, PHD

Moments of Love

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former colleague from UMBC asked me recently, “What do you love about your job?” I had to think for a few moments. I was thrown by the word “love.” When I get asked about my job, most people ask me, “Do you like your job?” So her question about love made me wonder. Images of daily experiences began flooding my mind. These experiences are actionable moments of the love I have experienced since stepping in the door of CAMP Rehoboth six months ago.

I replied to the question, “I love the moments—that’s what I love about my job.” I went on to share moments such as: • Conversations on the porch • The joy of the CAMP Chorus leadership meeting • Artists proud that their art hangs on the walls of 37 Baltimore Avenue • Adults painting rocks to honor a loved one • Freely dancing during SUNFESTIVAL • Families watching drag queens perform during Block Party • The care given to someone who is anxious about testing for HIV • New actors being delighted with the opportunity to perform • Standing ovations for the Gay Mens’ Chorus of Washington • Collective grief when we learn of the death of a community member • A volunteer who shares the joy they feel • The before, during, and after of renovations • The staff pitching in to help each other • Breaking out in song during a CAMPcierge shift • LGBTQ+ veterans together • Answering the call to the blood donation emergency • The men’s yoga group talking over coffee • Our mighty contingent during the Sea Witch Parade • The beautiful AIDS quilt hanging in All Saints Church and so many, many more moments.

The author bell hooks, in her book All About Love, states, “When we are loving, we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment, and trust.”

Acts of loving are what I observe and experience daily in my job. Our conversations are honest, the commitment to the community is real, and the trust that is shared is honored.

Your love is demonstrated through your giving. We exceeded our Giving Tuesday and End of Year Giving goals and

we have over 100 new donors! Our corporate sponsors are engaged. CAMP Rehoboth is doing well.

And, we have more to do. We are Pride in Progress as we embrace our future as a community, empower each other, and evolve as an organization. We are making it happen in 2024!

Each day I have people ask, “What can I do?” Now is the time to engage—don’t sit back! Join in and help us to continue making Rehoboth Beach and Southern Delaware LGBTQ+ affirming, safe, and joyous. Here are some suggestions: 1. Volunteer with CAMP Rehoboth and/or the CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP).

2. Make a donation for a specific need (technology, programs, the arts, and more).

3. Donate during Do More 24 Delaware (March 7 and 8).

4. Coordinate a social, coffee hour, potluck dinner, game night, or other program.

5. Help us to find and write grants.

6. Become a member and invite a friend to do so as well.

7. Bring friends and family to our programs and events.

8. Stay engaged with local, state, and national politics— register to vote, read, educate yourself.

9. Sponsor a portion of Women’s FEST or SUNFESTIVAL. 10. Contribute to an art exhibit, support CAMP Chorus, or help with theatre.

11. Inspire others by contributing matching funds for our giving campaigns.

12. Share CAMP Rehoboth social media posts.

13. Talk with others, spread the word, tell your stories about times and experiences with CAMP Rehoboth.

14. Connect us to an organization for collaboration and partnership.

I am honored to serve this outstanding organization. So much good is happening at CAMP Rehoboth. What a fabulously loving community. We make Southern Delaware fun and friendly! Forward, together. ▼ Kim Leisey, PhD, is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

We are Pride in Progress as we embrace our future as a community, empower each other, and evolve as an organization.

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THANK YOU TO ALL WHO DONATED! THANKS TO YOU, WE RAISED $15,464 ON GIVING TUESDAY

THANKS TO YOU, WE RAISED $28,680 FOR OUR ANNUAL CAMPAIGN

PRIDE IN PROGRESS:

EMBRRACE. EMPOWER. EVOLVE. SPECIAL THANKS TO JENNIFER RUBENSTEIN, DIANE SCOBEY, WES COMBS, AND GREG ALBRIGHT FOR THEIR GENEROUS MATCHING GIFTS THAT ENCOURAGED 230 DONORS TO SUPPORT CAMP REHOBOTH.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

7 Letters

President’s View

BY WESLEY COMBS

A Long and Winding Road

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s a new year dawns, many people take a moment to reflect on what was accomplished in the prior 12 months, as they set objectives for the year ahead.

The resulting objectives come in many forms, ranging from New Year’s resolutions for some, to annual goals for an organization like CAMP Rehoboth.

In my 2023 columns, I did my best to keep community members informed about the leadership transition process implemented by CAMP’s Board of Directors, using a best practice approach designed to stabilize and strengthen the community center: • Establish sound governance (welcoming four new board members) • Hire qualified staff (Kim Leisey, PhD, as our new Executive Director) • Clarify the current community needs/align CAMP Rehoboth’s mission accordingly (by completing the new strategic plan) • Secure adequate resources to deliver vital services (more about that later in this column).

Together these steps are known as capacity building: CAMP Rehoboth’s deliberate investment in sustaining and fulfilling its mission. I encourage you to read Board Vice President Leslie Ledogar’s column on page 10 to better understand how all these steps are connected and the outcomes that we hope to achieve.

Many inspirational quotes and sayings come to mind when I think about the time and energy involved with a daunting undertaking like this. Theodore Roosevelt was not kidding when he said, “Nothing worth having comes easy.”

At the same time, the proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” also resonates with me. Why, you ask? According to Wikipedia, it means “that an entire community of people must provide for and interact positively with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment.” Simply put, none of our progress would have been possible without the support of our dedicated staff, committed volunteers, Letters 8

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and the generosity of CAMP Rehoboth’s donors as well as sponsors.

Having served on a few nonprofit boards, I have learned achieving goals is not something left up to chance; rather, it is a very intentional process. Not only must you know where you are going, but—more importantly—what it will take to get there.

…I have learned achieving goals is not something left up to chance; rather, it is a very intentional process.

When the Board of Directors embarked on this journey 20 months ago, we recognized that despite lots of hard work, there would still be bumps in the road. Like the poet Robert Burns once said, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” Which is why we had to take former Philadelphia 76ers basketball coach Sam Hinkie’s rallying cry, “trust the process,” to heart.

Of course, getting to where we are now took longer than planned. (Doesn’t it always?!) But throughout the process, the CAMP Rehoboth staff’s top priority always has been to provide life-affirming services to our community.

To succeed meant thinking like industrial engineer Allen F. Morgenstein, whose work simplification program in the 1930s is now commonly referred to as “working smarter, not harder.” This required adding time to the overall project, as tasks were broken up into multiple pieces and we were mindful of avoiding burnout.

It was clear that accelerating the pace of change would take more than sheer luck. Working in close partnership with Kim, the Board identified barriers slowing the pace of change and defined what was needed to overcome them.

Finding solutions was not going to

be simple, so we shifted our perspective toward imagining what was possible if we had the necessary resources (i.e., expertise; funds) to be successful. You could say we took inspiration from the well-known children’s story book, The Little Engine that Could: “I think I can, I think I can.”

Another important lesson learned is that the answer may be right in front of you if you look hard enough (and ask for help). Being intentional helped prioritize the needs and create a course of action to fill the gaps.

One perfect example: In July 2023, CAMP Rehoboth was awarded a $300,000 grant from the State of Delaware to invest in much-needed high-priority capital repair projects at the center. But we needed a project manager to secure estimates and manage the process. The staff reached out to their networks for help, and community member Carol Brice was suggested as a resource to consider because of her previous experience.

Carol agreed to serve in this volunteer leadership capacity, overseeing a wide-ranging renovation, which included new carpeting, ceilings, solar panels, and a light-and-sound system, among other improvements.

Our deliberate approach continues in 2024. We list what support is needed throughout the year and ask Board members to indicate where they can lend a hand (e.g., serving as a spokesperson at a community event, hosting a fundraising reception, or making an introduction to a potential donor). When we leverage available resources, we are thoughtful stewards of this vital community asset.

We invite you to help CAMP Rehoboth fulfill its mission by serving as a volunteer or making a donation of any amount.

Every little bit counts. In the words of anthropologist Margaret Mead, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed individuals can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” ▼ Wesley Combs is CAMP Rehoboth Board President.

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FEBRUARY 2, 2024

9 Letters

Vice President’s View

BY LESLIE LEDOGAR

Connected Leadership It’s a Strategic Sort of Thing

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all me wonky or nerdy, but I love to learn new things and new approaches to time-honored theories. I also enjoy sharing what I’ve learned, in the hope that others will find it useful, without having to devote their time to taking the class or reading the book themselves. Professional development is an important way for me to stay current on the latest techniques and thinking.

That’s why I want to share some of what I am learning in my latest professional development endeavor, particularly because it has helped me think in a more focused way about implementing CAMP Rehoboth’s new strategic plan. The class, “Connected Leadership,” is offered online through Coursera, by Dr. Peter Boyd, a lecturer at Yale School of the Environment and Resident Fellow of Yale Center for Business and the Environment.

From the syllabus: “This course is designed to maximize your ability to create change at the individual, team and system levels. Through study, reflection, and deploying practical tools, you will establish a firm connection between your clearly articulated Purpose, effective Priorities, visualized Potential for success, and pathway to maximized Progress.”

According to Dr. Boyd, connected leadership is purpose-driven leadership by which one leads from within. When engaging in connected leadership, one is anchored to one’s individual purpose, and works from one’s personal values in service of the greater world. Daring and transformative leaders share power with others and empower and inspire people to develop their own “power within.”

They know their “why” and lead from that position.

For CAMP Rehoboth, our “why” is our mission statement. That’s why the 20242028 Strategic Plan includes a refresh to our mission statement, to our “why.” It now clearly defines what the acronym “CAMP” stands for, better reflects what CAMP Letters 10

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Rehoboth actually is (a community center) and expands the breadth of who we want to serve (Southern Delaware and beyond), while still maintaining our core “why” in the last sentence. The new mission statement is: CAMP Rehoboth is an LGBTQ+ community center dedicated to Creating A More Positive (CAMP) environment that is inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Southern Delaware

Daring and transformative leaders share power with others and empower and inspire people to develop their own “power within.” and beyond. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to promote cooperation, understanding among all people, and wellbeing, as CAMP Rehoboth continues its work to build a safer community with room for all.

Pretty sleek and incredibly meaningful, right? That’s what a “why” statement should be!

Knowing the “why” helps one define one’s priorities for the short and long term. Dr. Boyd analogizes priority setting with placing rocks in a jar, together with pebbles and sand. The jar is the planning timeframe, the rocks are one’s priorities, the pebbles are one’s less important tasks or other people’s rocks that are trying to get into one’s jar, and the sand is the distractions that suck time away from the rocks.

Naming the rocks is the process of defining one’s priorities. The rocks should be crucially connected to one’s purpose and limited in number from three to five. One’s priorities should be chosen with emotion, and named with care in a way that brings each priority to life. When one’s life is anchored by one’s

priorities, one can live each day as one wants, instead of living in a way that is governed by other people’s priorities and short-term tasks that suck time away from achieving one’s own long-term goals.

When choosing the priorities (rocks) for CAMP’s strategic plan, we realized that if we want to get something done, we must prioritize it. Conversely, things that are not prioritized may forever be parked on the back burner.

Using Dr. Boyd’s rocks-in-a-jar analogy for CAMP Rehoboth’s Strategic Planning, the “jar” is the 2024-2028 timeframe, and the rocks are our four strategic priorities: 1) maximizing the impact of our programs, 2) building a diversified and sustainable funding plan, 3) increasing and broadening our community engagement, and 4) strengthening board governance and staff leadership.

Focused on these priorities, without letting too many pebbles or sand get in the way, we are already off to a great start. Our physical campus is undergoing substantial renovations, giving us a fresh, modernized, and accessible physical space for program delivery. Updates to our donor software are enabling us to better analyze existing funding sources and identify new ones. Executive Director Kim Leisey’s extensive outreach to community partners is helping us learn how we can cooperate with and mutually benefit each other. And being accepted into the Delaware Alliance for Nonprofit Advancement’s Accelerator Training Program is a huge boost for board and staff professional development.

Stay tuned to this space for more, as we continue to utilize “connected leadership” to achieve our strategic planning goals. ▼ Leslie Ledogar is CAMP Rehoboth Board Vice President.

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FEBRUARY 2, 2024

11 Letters

CAMPNews Give Back by Giving Blood

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AMP Rehoboth is partnering with the Blood Bank of Delmarva for another blood drive on Saturday, February 24, from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

This partnership follows the news of the FDA lifting its ban on the ability for men who have sex with men (MSMs) to donate blood, and a blood drive back in November. For more information on what this means for the donor questionnaire, visit delmarvablood.org/ida/.

CAMP Rehoboth encourages all community members to help respond to the Blood Emergency, as defined by the Blood Bank of Delmarva as an urgent need for donors due to dangerously low levels of O+, O-, B-, and platelets. Register online at camprehoboth.com. ▼

United By Flowers CAMP Rehoboth will be taking its next community bus trip to the Philadelphia Flower Show on Tuesday, March 5. The show’s 2024 theme is “United by Flowers,” and will be held at the Pennsylvania Convention Center.

Visit camprehoboth.com for more information and to secure a spot on the trip. Stay tuned for more bus trips—the team is working on seasonal plans. ▼

Welcome, Vincent!

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n January 9, Vincent DeLissio joined the CAMP Rehoboth team as its Photography Intern. As a senior at Wilmington University, Vincent is pursuing his undergraduate in graphic design and a professional certificate in photography. He will bring his talents to the CAMP Rehoboth team through April. Vincent will be taking photos at CAMP programs and events—if you see him taking CAMPshots around town, be sure to strike a pose!

Join CAMP Rehoboth in welcoming Vincent! ▼ Letters 12

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CROP Returns to Food Bank

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n Thursday, January 18, a CROP Team volunteered at the Delaware Food Bank in Milford. Ten volunteers packed 672 backpack lunches for kids in need on the weekends throughout the state. The team was then led on a tour of the beautiful new facility, which includes a huge warehouse, and refrigeration and freezer warehouses. There also are instructional kitchens and a new food selection section. Many thanks to all the volunteers who participated! ▼

Hi Honey, I’m Homo!

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he CAMP Rehoboth Book Club has selected Hi Honey, I’m Homo! for its February selection, and will be joined by the author Matt Baume to discuss the book.

The book was featured on NPR’s “Books We Love 2023,” and was selected as one of Vulture’s Best Comedy Books of 2023. The book shares the story behind American LGBTQ+ liberation, unfolding in plain sight in front of millions of viewers. Touching on TV classics like Bewitched, The Golden Girls, and Will & Grace, Hi Honey, I’m Homo! is the story not only of how subversive queer comedy transformed the American sitcom, from its inception through today, but how favorite sitcoms transformed, and continue to transform, America.

The CAMP Rehoboth Book Club is a queer-facilitated discussion group dedicated to reading novels about queer topics and/or books by queer authors that tackle a variety of interests and subject matters. The club alternates between fiction, non-fiction, and YA (young adult). The February meeting is Monday, February 26, at 5:30 p.m., on Zoom.

Register for the meeting by visiting camprehoboth.com/events.▼

Young Professionals Group Kicks Off with Happy Hour

C

AMP Rehoboth’s Young Professionals Group will kickstart with a social and happy hour on Friday, February 23, from 5:00-7:00 p.m. The group is for young (and young at heart) professionals who’d like to meet other like-minded professionals, network, and support each other. ▼

Volunteer Development Committee Returns

A

fter a year’s hiatus, the Volunteer Development Committee (VDC) has returned. The committee will focus on making intentional impacts through the CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP), bolstering CAMP Rehoboth’s programs and events with appropriate volunteer support, and showing appreciation for volunteers.

This year, Joe Vescio has stepped up as the VDC chair. For over two years, Vescio has been involved with CAMP Rehoboth as a member of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, a CAMPcierge volunteer each Wednesday afternoon, and an HIV testing volunteer. Vescio’s career provided him with valuable experience organizing teams.

Stay tuned for the date of the February Volunteer Opportunities Meeting—the meeting date will be posted at camprehoboth.com/volunteers. Plan to attend to learn more about volunteering at CAMP Rehoboth. ▼

CAMP Rehoboth Chorus presents

The

British Are Coming!

Featuring the Music of g

istic D

irector

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The Beatles George Michael Foreigner The Rolling Stones Queen Manfred Mann Spice Girls Herman’s Hermits Adele Elton John Petula Clark The Bee Gees

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2024 CONCERT DATES

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th

camprehoboth.com

se

$25 GET TICKETS AT

Zip

Epworth United Methodist Church 19285 Holland Glade Rd • Rehoboth Beach, DE

D av i d

February 16-17 • 7 pm February 18 • 3 pm

CA

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CAMP Rehoboth Chorus is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on DelawareScene.com

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

13 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH ADVOCACY

BY CAMP REHOBOTH ADVOCACY COMMITTEE

Nuances of Automatic Voter Registration in Delaware

L

et’s start off 2024 by being proactive in at least one area— voting. As the assaults on LGBTQ+ legal rights continue to escalate, voting representatives into office who are sensitive to the needs of our community becomes even more crucial.

In Delaware, it has recently become easier for all new Delaware residents to register to vote through automatic voter registration (AVR). The way it works is that when someone who is not already registered to vote in Delaware completes an in-person or online application for the issuance or renewal of their Delaware driver’s license, learner’s permit, or state identification card, or completes an in-person or online application to change their name or address on these documents, that person is automatically registered to vote by the Department of Elections.

This may give the impression that one needs to do nothing more, but such is not the case. That’s because voters who are automatically registered to vote at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)—i.e., automatic voter registration, or “AVR” voters—are automatically registered with “No Party” affiliation (i.e., not affiliated with any party) as of the date of their DMV transaction. This is critically important because Delaware has closed primaries; only registered voters

from participating parties may vote in the April Presidential Primary and the September State Primary.

Only registered voters from participating parties may vote in the April Presidential Primary and the September State Primary.

So, AVR Voters need to take one more step to secure all of their voting rights: they need to identify their party preference. This can be done in two ways:

Respond to the Notice of Registration that the Department of Elections mails out immediately following a person’s AVR, by completing and submitting to the Department the Response to Automatic Voter Registration form included in the Notice mailing to designate their party.

All voters, including AVR Voters, can and should check their party affiliation by logging onto ivote.de.gov.

Choosing or changing party affiliation may be done all the way through the day of the FIRST Primary Election following their automatic voter registration at the DMV. Click on How do I register to vote or update my record? and fill in the requested information.

Note that identifying a party affiliation does not affect one’s ability to vote for any candidate in the General Election in November 2024 because that is an open election. And everyone is free to switch affiliation back to “No Political Party” should they choose to do so. ▼ CAMP Rehoboth Advocacy Committee Members: Daniel Bruner, David Garrett, Leslie Ledogar, Sherri McGee Photo: Allison Saeng on Unsplash.

CAMP REHOBOTH THANKS OUR 2024 ANNUAL SPONSORS

For information on how to become a CAMP Rehoboth Annual Sponsor, email development@camprehoboth.com or call 302-227-5620.

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FEBRUARY 2, 2024

MAKE 2 025 YOUR

YEAR TO TRAVEL!

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OLIVIA.COM · (800) 631-6277 BOOK YOUR DREAM VACATION WITH 24/7 ONLINE BOOKING FEBRUARY 2, 2024

15 Letters

LESSONS IN AUTOMATION

BY SONDRA N. ARKIN

Don’t Write Us a Check

O

ver the last 16 months, along with the CAMP Rehoboth staff, I’ve been flexing some learning muscles that had probably atrophied.

In the modern office, software runs the show. And, as with many non-profits, CAMP has over the years implemented different software for tasks “as needed.” The need arises for a mailing list program? Add one. Need to sign up for events? Add another! Managing accounting? Another! The webstore? Another!

Volunteers? Another! Each one carrying a customer list and transaction data.

What might have seemed like a simple task of transferring data from the legacy database to a new one was made a wee more complicated when all the data needed to flow together. I’ve been happy to help an organization I love doing something that I also love: setting up processes to take advantage of data.

In order to accomplish the transfer of data, we’ve also had to phase out three or four other software platforms, integrate the new one (which is really three or four different systems), figure out new processes and reports, implement those said items, fix whatever didn’t quite transfer properly, import records from other systems, and oh, did I mention? learn it all as we progressed. Oh, the things we didn’t know! All this time later, we have finally finished phase one: the data is transferred, tidied, and the new giving platform is online. Kudos to the staff who didn’t really sign on for this extra-curricular exercise on top of their jobs.

As is the case with so many things in life, we’ve learned a lot of lessons. I’m going to share three.

One: Don’t write the organizations that you love a check. If they have set up a way for you to give that uses a processing system for credit cards, it is very likely that this is a more efficient way for the organization to receive your generous gift. And while it is true that this will generate more merchant and platform fees, if the process is set up wisely, it will reduce personnel time on this task and free them for other ones. In fact, it saves the organization a Letters 16

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

lot of money in the long run. Currently, cash or checks require photocopying, scanning, depositing, manual data entry, manual letter processing, and manual accounting reconciliation. If you use a credit card, the money is collected, deposited, accounted for, and added to your record in the system without staff time. The “thank you” part can come from the heart.

Save your checks and cash for small retail businesses who will likely benefit more.

I think the work of CAMP Rehoboth is so important that anything we can do to improve the efficiency of the small staff and their happiness should be assisted.

Two: Use one email address consistently. Just like an organization, your personal IT evolves constantly. If possible, try to use the same email for your gifts and purchases. For your nonprofit partners, this can be immensely helpful since the email serves as a unique ID and many of the software programs’ records match to that. Using different emails may spawn duplicate records. Also, on your personal side, you can consolidate all of your emails to be received at one address, by forwarding them all to one inbox in most cases.

Three: If you are part of a partnership, consider designating one person as the CGO—Chief Giving Officer. Like many people, my spouse and I maintain separate finances, even after 40 years. Which seems darn silly when I write that. But we do. We also established some roles that help us manage this. Almost all of the charitable gifts come through one person.

We think it is simpler for us. But it is also simpler for nonprofit partners. Working with software platforms that do a variably decent job at “householding” (the term for linking two records), having one person be the “lead” also helps reduce duplicate records.

The new system for CAMP Rehoboth includes a “front door” portal whereby each individual establishes an account to manage recurring payments and make purchases. Without getting into the weeds on this, two individuals coming in the “front door” aren’t always seen by the system as a couple. Having one person as the lead helps us with this system confusion.

Oh! Bonus lesson! Go ahead and use your preferred name. If the name on your credit card is Michael James Ratner, but everyone calls you “Jimmy,” you should be able to set up your online profile using your preferred name. Most nonprofit transaction software uses address and CVV to prevent fraud and won’t look at the exact name match. Also, another personal tip, for most credit cards, you can request to have a new card issued with your preferred name once you have established an account.

Lastly, tell us how we are doing! Kudos or critique. We’ve worked hard to put people together correctly into “households.”

We’ve worked hard to get the right preferred name. We’ve worked hard to order couples in an order they prefer. However, if you prefer to have separate records, or if your name is wrong, or if you operate under a business name, it is something we want to know.

While it is true that I hear Alan Sherman’s song “Automation” rattling in my head all of the time—“I thought automation was keen, till you were replaced by a ten-ton machine”—I don’t think that we are going to be replaced by machines any time soon. I think the work of CAMP Rehoboth is so important that anything we can do to improve the efficiency of the small staff and their happiness should be assisted. ▼ Sondra N. Arkin is a long-time friend and supporter of CAMP Rehoboth, and its Creator Extraordinaire of Processes. IRL, she’s an artist—info about her upcoming show at the American University Museum is here: thehumanflood.com.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

17 Letters

TRANSFORMING HEALTHCARE

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

The Journey Toward Healthcare Equity

A

Elizabeth Campbell, JD

Dr. William M. Chasanov

chieving a standard of equal access, educated caregivers, and respectful treatment of LGBTQ+ patients in American healthcare has been, and still is, a journey.

One of the first steps forward was the Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s Healthcare Equality Index, which began transforming healthcare for LGBTQ+ people in 2007. The first report contained 10 recommendations for healthcare facilities. Those recommendations included four foundational elements: an LGBTQ+ inclusive patient non-discrimination policy, an LGBTQ+ inclusive visitation policy, an LGBTQ+ inclusive employment non-discrimination policy, and staff training in LGBTQ+ patient-centered care.

The stakes are high. According to Do Ask, Do Tell, a project of Fenway Health in Boston, “by learning to avoid discrimination, stigmatization, and simple mistakes due to inexperience, front-line health care workers can help LGBT people avoid the ‘double whammy’ of experiencing these health problems in their daily lives, and then being discouraged from seeking the care they need.”

LGBTQ+ HEALTH CHALLENGES • LGBTQ+ youth are at higher risk for HIV and other STIs and are more likely to attempt suicide.

• Gay men are at higher risk of HIV and STIs, especially within communities of color.

• LGBTQ+ populations have higher rates of smoking, alcoholism, drug use, depression, anxiety, and suicide.

• Lesbians are less likely to get mammograms and Pap tests and have higher rates of breast cancer.

• Transgender populations have a high prevalence of HIV and STIs and are less likely to have health insurance.

ON THE LOCAL LEVEL Elizabeth Campbell, JD, is Beebe Healthcare’s first Director of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion & Belonging.

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Healthcare equity is a key goal for her. “Equity is providing services that someone needs,” says Campbell. “It’s not the same as equality. Equality is applying the same thing to everybody, without regard to their needs. And so, understanding what the needs may be and then providing the services that meet those needs—that’s delivering equitable care.”

Dr. William M. Chasanov, Beebe’s Vice President and Chief Population Health Officer, says, “It’s hardwired into our organization that as a patient comes into our hospital, they have an option to recognize how they would like to be identified, with he/him, she/ her, they/them, and then we obviously have the companion training for our team members to understand what that means.”

Campbell adds, “This is where our team members really need to understand the why. It’s not a check-thebox exercise. This is about respect of

“Equity is providing services that someone needs,” says Campbell.

“It’s not the same as equality. Equality is applying the same thing to everybody, without regard to their needs.” our patients and building trust. And my research tells me that when our patients trust our medical providers more, the patient is more likely to have better outcomes…and calling someone by the wrong name or using the wrong pronoun is a very early indicator that I’m not listening to you…you’re invisible to me.”

Continued on page 20

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

19 Letters

TRANSFORMING HEALTHCARE

Continued from page 18

According to Chasanov, the COVID pandemic put a spotlight on marginalized communities and inequities, which led to initiatives for testing, screening, education, prevention, and treatment.

“What that did, under the guidance of Dr. Tam, our CEO,” says Chasanov, “it really put a spark underneath Beebe Healthcare to understand.” Beebe expanded its community outreach and behavioral health services. “We have, for the first time, hired psychiatrists and behavioral medicine specialists in our community, in our ambulatory practices, expanding our acute care hospital services.”

Preventive care is an essential part of health equity. “I would like to think that one of the preventive wins that occurred within the last year was the monkeypox vaccination,” says Chasanov. “We reached out to our partners such as

CAMP Rehoboth and others to say we want to meet you where you are to say how can we get vaccinations to your community to try to keep you as safe as possible.”

Bayhealth, which has facilities in Milford, also trains their staff and physicians in LGBTQ+ cultural competency and in the unique health needs of the LGBTQ+ community. Their website has a page, “LGBTQ+ Inclusion at Bayhealth,” that includes a list of clinicians who specialize in LGBTQ+ services.

Recent political attacks have specifically targeted LGBTQ+ healthcare. Campbell is not deterred.

“We exist to provide patient care to all of our community. That is why we are here…. We serve people who live in Sussex County, people who work in Sussex County, and people who come to visit and vacation in Sussex

Your Guide Through Serious Illness Care © 2023 Delaware Hospice

Letters 20 Print-7.5x4.875.indd FEBRUARY 2, 12024 DEHO-006

County…it would trouble me immensely if that ever were to be the case, that we were restricting access or falling prey to political pressure. We are professionals.… I will stand up for our community. We will provide the services that our community needs.”

There is still work to be done.

Campbell acknowledges, “we’re human; people make mistakes…but the idea is to show up human, with compassion.”

Chasanov adds, “As a healthcare organization leader in the community, we are on a journey. Our success in our journey is the community’s success in their journey.” ▼ Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

Offering the area’s most comprehensive serious illness support, Delaware Hospice walks with you and your loved ones through each step of the journey.

Get the help you need – contact us today.

302.478.5707 • DelawareHospice.org 10/9/23 1:38 PM

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

21 Letters

CommunityNews There are many ways to celebrate Black History Month in our area. Here are just a few.

Concert: A Choral Tapestry Saturday, Feb. 24, 2:00 pm Epworth United Methodist Church, Rehoboth Beach The Southern Delaware Chorale, in alliance with the Southern Delaware Alliance for Racial Justice, presents A Choral Tapestry, a celebration of choral music for Black History Month. Four choral groups— the Southern Delaware Chorale, Cantabile Women’s Chorus, Sussex High School Bella Voce, and the Sussex Community Gospel Mass Choir—bring music ranging from spirituals to gospel, jazz to contemporary, and classical. Tickets: $25; southerndelawarechorale.org or at the door.

Ballet: Deep Roots: Celebrating African American Arts and Culture Sunday, Feb. 11, 3:00 p.m.

Milton Theatre, Milton, DE Deep Roots, presented by the Wilmington Ballet, allows audience members to step into a world where culture, history, and art intertwine in perfect harmony. The journey celebrates the rich tapestry of African-American arts and culture. Through graceful dance, powerful storytelling, and breathtaking performances, Deep Roots pays homage to the resilience, creativity,

and contributions of African Americans throughout history. Tickets: $22.50$30.00; miltontheatre.com/events/

is a graduate of Howard University and attended Pratt Institute School of Architecture. She had a design practice in New York and Connecticut, and also designed and managed the only federal design center for the General Services Administration in Washington, DC. This free program is available both in-person and online; reservations—and type of reservation (in-person or online)—are required at: lewes.lib.de.us.

Literature: The House of Eve—A Conversation with the Author Thursday, Feb.8, 5:00 p.m.

Lewes Public Library—in-person (large meeting room) and online; event is cosponsored by the Southern Delaware Alliance for Racial Justice (SDARJ)

The House of Eve—Join in a Discussion of the Novel

Join a conversation with Shadeqa Johnson, author of The House of Eve, and Janis Freeman, of the SDARJ. Set in 1950s Philadelphia and Washington, DC, Johnson’s work of historical fiction explores what it means to be a woman and a mother, and how much one is willing to sacrifice to achieve her greatest goal.

Johnson is an award-winning author of five novels and teaches in the MFA program at Drexel University. She lives near Richmond, Virginia, with her husband and three teens.

Freeman, who currently lives in Lewes,

Tuesday, Feb. 27, 6:00 p.m.

Lewes Public Library—in-person and online Interested in further exploring Ms. Johnson’s book? The Lewes Library and SDARJ Book Discussion Group will discuss the novel at its February meeting.

Those interested can join the discussion either in-person or online at no cost.

Reservations—and type of reservation (in-person or online)—are required at: lewes.lib.de.us. ▼

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Letters 22 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

23 Letters

health+wellness

BY SHARON MORGAN

The (Not So) Tell-Tale Heart The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. –BLAISE PASCAL

A

few years ago, a colleague of mine developed chest pain while going through a marriage break-up. Although he did not have a heart history, as a middle-aged male he was given a cardiac work-up, including a catheterization. A vessel was nicked during the procedure and were it not for an astute nurse at 4:00 a.m., he might have bled out internally. The irony is had he been female, he likely would have received the correct diagnosis: an anxiety attack.

According to the American Heart Association (AHA), every 40 seconds someone in the US will have a myocardial infarction (MI), with up to 75 percent of heart attacks occurring at home. Cardiovascular disease remains the leading cause of death in the US, accounting for more deaths annually than all cancers and chronic lung disease combined.

The AHA monitors eight essential lifestyle factors as a barometer of overall cardiovascular health. One is smoking, which is the leading cause of premature death and the third leading cause of years lived with a disability.

Several interrelated lifestyle factors also impact heart health, including inactivity, nutrition, cholesterol, diabetes, and obesity. The numbers are not good.

Between 2000 and 2018, obesity among men increased from 27 percent to 43 percent; for women, from 33 percent to 42 percent. Poor nutrition plays a part in the obesity epidemic, with diet also affecting cholesterol and sugar levels.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately two of five Americans have high cholesterol, a risk factor for both heart disease and stroke. While the numbers of those with high cholesterol have declined, up to 40 percent are unaware they have it. More concerning, about seven percent of children now have been diagnosed with high cholesterol.

The prevalence of diabetes in the US has nearly tripled in the past three Letters 24 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

decades. As of 2022, the CDC estimates 37 million Americans have diabetes.

Adequate sleep and blood pressure management impact heart health as well.

The National Sleep Foundation recommends seven to nine hours of quality sleep per night yet reports only about 20 percent of Americans achieve that goal consistently. Key disruptors include electronic devices: the Foundation estimates 89 percent of adults and 75 percent of children have at least one electronic device in their bedrooms.

A recent AHA study highlights a potential increase in MI risks among individuals who identify as transgender.

Hypertension is another critical risk factor for heart disease and one rampant in the US. Close to half of American adults live with high blood pressure, yet only 25 percent are believed to have adequate management.

All these essential heart health metrics can be improved with physical activity. Unfortunately, fewer than one in three adults get the appropriate amount of exercise to stay healthy, per the CDC. Results worsen by region.

Only 16 percent of adults outside urban areas and 22 percent in the South meet national physical fitness metrics. Less than one quarter of children younger than 18 participate in daily, 60-minute exercise sessions and only 51 percent of high school students attend weekly physical education classes.

Emotions can also impact heart function. First identified in Japan in 1991, Takotsubo syndrome (TTS)—or broken-heart syndrome—presents as a classic MI, linked to a sudden or severe emotional event. In many cases, the condition is temporary and the heart

returns to normal baseline function. Not always, however, and clinicians need to treat the event as a physiological heart attack. While not well understood, a preponderance of TTS cases occurs in post-menopausal women, suggesting a hormonal link.

Over 90 percent of both men and women report the classic symptom of chest pain when having an MI. However, other key discriminators in how women and men present have resulted in MI now being diagnosed with sex as a factor. For example, women more often than men are also likely to report radiating pain in the left arm and back, palpitations, and nausea. In addition, a specific chemical marker increases the likelihood of an MI in women by close to 30 percent.

This may be critical in younger women with a cardiac history who often present without classic chest pain, but with the associated heartburn, nausea, dizziness, and shoulder pain. These women historically have been misdiagnosed, only to return later in more critical condition.

A recent AHA study highlights a potential increase in MI risks among individuals who identify as transgender. After adjusting for common cardiovascular risk factors, the study indicates transgender men—born biologically female—had about four times the rate of MIs as cisgender women. Transgender men also had more than twice the rate of heart attacks as cisgender men. Transgender women—born biologically male—had more than twice the rate of MIs as cisgender women. While the authors cautioned against suppositions yet, they surmised hormones may play a part, as with TTS. The heart has its reasons for skipping a beat. The key is knowing when that funny feeling is just Cupid’s aim or the Grim Reaper knocking. ▼ Sharon A. Morgan is a retired advanced practice nurse with over 30 years of clinical and healthcare policy background.

health+wellness

BY MATTY BROWN

Love Yourself

A Self-Care Event at CAMP Rehoboth

A

ccording to a Stanford University study published online in the February 2, 2023 issue of JAMA Oncology, LGBTQ+ patients are more likely to experience delays in diagnosis when it comes to breast cancer and are more than three times as likely to see the breast cancer come back than people who are heterosexual or cisgender.

In response, CAMP Rehoboth is partnering with the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition (DBCC), Planned Parenthood of Delaware, and Beebe Healthcare to offer no-cost breast/chest exams, along with other screenings and services. The event, titled “Love Yourself: A Self-Care Event,” will take place at the community center on February 10, 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. Registration is not required.

“Breast/chest exams are one of the most important early breast cancer screenings, to improve the chances of finding breast cancer early. The earlier breast cancer is found, the easier it is to treat,” said Adriana Viveros-Sosa, Program Manager for Women’s Health Screening at DBCC. Additionally, DBCC patient navigators will be present to help attendees schedule a mammogram after the exam.

This partnership and event follow the series of events held by DBCC called “Love Your Breasts.” The event was renamed to be more specifically inclusive of transgender community members, who may experience body dysmorphia related to their breasts/chest.

The purpose behind the event became especially resonant for Rev. Karla Fleshman, a three-year breast cancer survivor and owner and Clinical Director of Transitions Delaware. Finding out about the event through another DBCC function, Fleshman explained why she shared the event with Transition Delaware’s network.

“Almost everyone served through

Transitions Delaware identify as LGBTQ+, with the majority transgender/gender expansive; and most LGBTQ+ folx are hesitant to seek out medical care for fear of microaggressions. DBCC and Planned Parenthood are established and reputable allies in serving LGBTQ+ folx; and to see their partnering with CAMP Rehoboth to create an accessible, safer space for queer folx to tap preventative medical services is simply beautiful.

“Knowing that everyone at the CAMP Rehoboth event will be allies and affirming of all our different bodies, genders, and sexual orientations will make it less scary!”

“It can be scary to have body parts checked that we may not like having; and it can be scary to “be seen” by medical staff. Knowing that everyone at the CAMP Rehoboth event will be allies and affirming of all our different bodies, genders, and sexual orientations will make it less scary! And in my case, early detection led to excellent post-cancer health outcomes.

“I’ve always said to my transtastic clients, ‘as long as you have the body part, it’d be good for you to get it regularly checked so that it doesn’t cause more attention than it already does in your daily life...regular screening saves lives...and your life matters!’” said Fleshman.

Planned Parenthood of Delaware will also be present to answer questions about LGBTQ+ healthcare and related screening questions. “At Planned Parenthood of Delaware, we recognize the need to provide comprehensive care for

underserved and marginalized communities. We know that health disparities in the LGBTQ+ community exist, and we are so proud to offer a wealth of services to meet the needs of all patients,” said April Thomas-Jones, President and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Delaware. “We are excited to partner with CAMP Rehoboth to bring early detection screenings to Delawareans and increase awareness of and access to care.”

Courtesy of Beebe Healthcare, other services/screenings include: flu shots, mpox vaccinations, fingerstick glucose, fingerstick lipid panel, total cholesterol, blood pressure, and lung cancer pre-screenings.

CAMP Rehoboth Community Center is committed to creating and maintaining an inclusive environment for all participants. Bilingual assistance in Spanish and Haitian Creole will be available at the event. Additionally, the community center’s facilities are accessible for community members with disabilities, and the Beebe Health Mobile Unit will have a lift available. ▼ Matty Brown is the Communications Manager at CAMP Rehoboth.

Youth Crisis Support: Crisis intervention services for children under 18. Parents and caregivers are connected to a crisis clinician. Available 24/7. Call 800-9694357 or text DE to 741-741.

988: Free, confidential support and resources for anyone in distress.

Available 24/7. Call 988.

Delaware Hope Line: Free coaching and support. Links to mental health, addiction, and crisis services. Available 24/7. Call 833-9-HOPEDE (833-946-7333).

LET’S STAY CONNECTED! All of CAMP Rehoboth’s programs, services, and events are listed here: camprehoboth.com/community-calendar.

Please visit the site often to ensure you have up-to-date information on what is being offered—and when. ▼ FEBRUARY 2, 2024

25 Letters

CAMPsafe Serves Our Community

PREVENT HIV & Mpox FREE Condoms—Protect Yourself!

FREE condoms (internal, external, non-latex) and dental dams are ALWAYS available at CAMP Rehoboth and other locations, including Diego’s, Freddie’s, Aqua, and all free walk-in HIV testing sites.

Mpox: YOU can stop the spread!

Mpox can spread through skin-to-skin contact with a person with mpox, or contact with their saliva, upper respiratory secretions, and areas around the genitals.

Find the latest information on mpox and where to get vaccines at cdc.gov/poxvirus/ mpox/

PrEP, HIV PEP, and mpox PEP

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is a medication taken daily that can reduce your chance of getting HIV. HIV PEP (postexposure prophylaxis) is a medication that must be taken within 72 hours after a possible exposure to prevent HIV. Mpox PEP reduces your chances of getting mpox after possible exposure to the mpox virus. To find out more, visit cdc.gov/hiv/default.html

FREE WALK-IN HIV TESTING Free, rapid, walk-in HIV testing and counseling is available at CAMP Rehoboth and in western Sussex County. Take-home HIV test kits are also available through CAMP Rehoboth. Testing days/times are subject to change; please call ahead to verify the current testing schedule.

CAMP Rehoboth 37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE Tel: 302-227-5620

Higher Ground Outreach 12 E. Pine St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-470-7497

Mondays & Tuesdays......................... 12-4 PM Wednesdays............................................1-4 PM Thursdays.................................................1-3 PM Fridays ........................................... 9 AM-12 PM

Laurel State Service Center 31039 N. Poplar St., Laurel, DE Tel: 302-227-5620*

ACE Peer Resource Center 20707 Dupont Blvd., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-585-4963 ACE Peer Resource Center 547 N. Bradford St., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-628-3016

Springboard Village 411 Kimmey St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-253-8246

Addiction Medical Facility 1309 Bridgeville Hwy., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-629-2300

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27 Letters

Getting to Know You!

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

CAMP Rehoboth’s Newest Board Members POLLY DONALDSON In One Word: Strategic Superpower: Engagement Looking back on her CAMP service, people will say: “That I cared, and that I worked hard, and that I helped grow the organization.”

Polly Donaldson sees parallels between being on a golf team and serving on a board. “Golf is a mental game as well as physical,” she explains. “I think that’s also true for a nonprofit.… You have to care, but you also have to be disciplined and make sure you’re doing things right and by good process and with transparency.”

Until she moved here two years ago, Polly hadn’t seen CAMP Rehoboth’s impact in the off-season. “Honestly, I did not know the full breadth of programs and services and engagements across so many spectrums and categories, from the chorus to art shows to health services to support groups to advocacy.

“There’s a reason why after 30-some years, CAMP not only is here but is strong and vibrant…”

POLLY DONALDSON And that to me, that whole continuum of engagement—I love that.” Engagement runs to her core. “I’m for the most part an extrovert, and I can’t live in a community without engaging and supporting the community. I can’t be a bystander.”

After joining the board, Polly was asked to serve as treasurer. She had worked with an organization in DC that grew from $500,000 a year to $6 Letters 28 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

million during the 11 years she served as executive director. “I see my role to help further strengthen the financial foundation of CAMP for the future but also to be very clear in communicating about what the financial position is and how we’re using the resources that individual donors and foundation donors and corporate donors trust us with.”

Polly is particularly excited about the growth planned for CAMP. “To me, what’s really exciting is that with [the new strategic plan] and with new leadership under Kim, I think the organization is in a position to really expand its impact.”

In addition to golf, Polly enjoys music, opera, and cooking. While she does a lot of Italian cooking, Polly was inspired to try Asian cuisine after adopting a child from China. Her daughter loved the familiar smells of Chinese cooking.

Polly is enjoying her new home.

“Everybody has been so embracing, and that’s across the board, and especially true at CAMP with the wonderful men and women that I’ve met there and I’m just grateful, quite frankly, for the opportunity to serve and be helpful.” As Polly points out, “There’s a reason why after 30-some years, CAMP not only is here but is strong and vibrant and needs to continue to be able to serve the LGBTQ+ community and beyond.”

Polly Donaldson

MICHELLE MANFREDI In One Word: Creative Superpower: Patience Looking back on her CAMP service, people will say: “That I fought for them. That I had their backs. That I provided them with resources they needed.”

Teaching children is good preparation for anything, but in Michelle Manfredi’s case, it prepared her to serve on CAMP’s Board and help with community outreach. “I work with K through 3 all day,” she says, “so getting to be creative

Michelle Manfredi

and being proactive with adults and getting involved in the community is a break from my 9 to 5.”

Michelle moved to Delaware about five years ago. She got involved with the youth program at CAMP, then met Matty Brown, who has become a close friend.

Since then, she’s participated in CAMP Rehoboth’s Handmade Market (she’s an artist who draws and works in ceramics), been co-chair of the Block Party, and is a co-chair of this year’s Women’s FEST.

“I am so involved with CAMP, I was just excited to be more involved,” she explains. “I see a good future for CAMP.” Michelle is particularly interested in expanding resources for minority communities—programs for people of color, youth, and young professionals, as well as the trans community.

While Michelle has plenty of formal education (associate degrees in business and art, bachelor’s in art education, master’s in reading education), she values her creativity and patience. “When something doesn’t work out right away, it doesn’t mean I give up,” she says. “It means I keep pushing myself to think outside the box and think of ways to help others and what they need.”

Originally from Syracuse, New

York, Michelle is single and lives with a roommate (who is also a volunteer for CAMP) and a dog named Eddie (who

“What I love best is that everybody there has the same goal—to build a better community.”

MICHELLE MANFREDI looks like Eddie Munster). To unwind, she listens to music. “Music helps me calm down after a day, driving in the car, blasting some music.”

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I am who I am.”

Michelle enjoys the working environment at CAMP. “What I love best,” she says, “is that everybody there has the same goal—to build a better community. People are very selfless there. They’re there to work to help others and that’s something that makes me very happy inside…it’s exciting.

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29 Letters

Hopping Aboard the Marrakesh Express

BY FAY JACOBS

A Lesson in Cooking, Culture, and Tea

L

ast October, Jody Bergeron and Mitch Selbiger thought their Marrakesh trip would be canceled. They were scheduled to land on the heels of a deadly earthquake in the area and the Mid-East had exploded in bloodshed in Israel and Gaza. Remarkably, the tour company carried on.

The result was an unforgettable experience which included a cooking lesson and an introduction to the fascinating Moroccan culture. But the best souvenir was making a connection with a thriving nonprofit called Amal, dedicated to raising women up from poverty. In addition, Amal was providing food to refugees from the earthquake-stricken mountains nearby.

Sitting in their Rehoboth living room, Jody and Mitch excitedly shared stories of learning to cook local dishes while being introduced to Amal by a woman named Jihad. “It’s not the meaning of the word we are used to,” Jody says, but it is a popular given name in Morocco. “She looked like Audrey Hepburn and was so bright and hopeful about the work they were doing.”

According to Jihad, young women from Moroccan villages are sent to Marrakesh to be maids. They send all their earnings back to the villages, receive no education, and live in poverty. Amal, which has kitchens and restaurants in the city, turn the baking and cooking skills these women have into a way to make a better living. Amal also provides them with education and skills which allow them to get better jobs in hotels and restaurants. Many of them go on to work in the Amal restaurants or cafés as well as other fine restaurants.

Jihad explained that Amal’s work brings about 15 women out of poverty each year; it has already helped over 300 women into jobs where they can advance.

As for the cooking lesson, Mitch and Jody learned to prepare a meal in a tagine, a conical clay pot heated from below with red-hot charcoal. This primitive MoLetters 30 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

roccan oven was first used by nomads in North Africa and is still in use today.

“The experience was way more than just preparing a meal,” said Jody, explaining that the slow cooking of meat and fish in the tagine gave them time to hear about the culture from the local women who were assisting.

“They knew we were a gay group and there was no problem. No animosity at all.”

As the visitors donned bright orange aprons and prepared the meal, Mitch was fascinated by the tagine cooking process. “They light the charcoal using a bellows. It’s all very primitive, with incredible aromas” rising from the couscous, meat, and vegetables they were preparing.

As for the tea service, Mitch calls it “ceremonial, almost spiritual,” as they used sugar cubes “that looked like bricks, with the locals using eight of them

in a pot, along with mint.”

“And we sat on these itty-bitty stools, with leather pillows on them, as we relaxed and drank the sweet tea,” Jody says.

But how did Jody and Mitch, along with more than a dozen other men on their tour, feel about being in a country where same-sex sexual activity is illegal and punishable by five years in jail?

Mitch says, “They knew we were a gay group and there was no problem. No animosity at all.”

Jody adds, “There was no doubt that Jihad knew we were gay. I didn’t see any sign of a problem with it and she and the others provided a strong women’s presence. We talked about Rehoboth, and I even told her about CAMP’s Women’s FEST.” Both Mitch and Jody explained that much more rewarding than the cooking lesson or the tea service was learning about the organization Amal. They donated to Amal in Marrakesh and are continuing to support it now that they are home.

While calling the trip—which included hiking, much sightseeing, and even a spa day—a fabulous experience, Mitch and Jody say the cooking class, meeting Jihad, and learning about Amal was a highlight. “The class was fun, we loved the food, and we felt like we were helping these women make new lives,” Jody remembers. “And they were so sincere and genuine about the program and the people they were helping. I wanted to cry. “ To learn more about Amal, you can go to Amalnonprofit.org. ▼ Fay Jacobs is the author of five published books and is touring with her one-woman sitdown comedy show, Aging Gracelessly.

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31 Letters

It’s My Life

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

It’s Time to Play the Music

T

he other night I was browsing through our way-toomany streaming options and discovered that Disney has all the episodes of The Muppet Show available for viewing. In my memory, this is one of the most important shows of my childhood.

In particular, an episode featuring Crystal Gayle standing on a haunted galleon and singing “We Must Believe in Magic” accompanied by some weird ghost Muppets has stuck in my head for decades.

I watched that one first, and it was just as odd and fantastic as I remember. It also apparently aired on New Year’s Eve in 1979. I didn’t remember that part. Did 11-year-old me watch it and then go to bed? Or was I allowed to stay up to watch Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve with special guests Blondie, Chic, and the Village People? Somehow, I doubt it.

After watching the Crystal Gayle episode I skipped around, watching bits of episodes featuring such unlikely guest stars as Ethel Merman, Marisa Berenson, and Jean-Pierre Rampal. I don’t remember seeing these episodes as a kid, but maybe I watched them having no clue who the guests were.

I eventually landed on an episode where Linda Ronstadt was the guest.

Earlier in the day my friend Robert and I had been discussing Ronstadt, specifically the just-announced biopic that’s going to star Selena Gomez, so she was on my mind. And as one of the Muppets’ guests who I did know as a kid, I was curious to see what her episode was like, as I don’t remember ever watching it.

Linda was standing in a pretend swamp warbling “Blue Bayou” when my husband walked in. “Who’s that?” he asked. “And why is she wearing pajamas?”

“That’s Linda Ronstadt,” I said. “And I think that’s supposed to be a romper.”

“Who’s Linda Ronstadt?” he asked.

I paused the show and looked at him.

“You don’t know who Linda Ronstadt is?”

I asked.

Letters 32 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

He shook his head. “Should I? I’m assuming she’s a singer. What are some of her songs?”

I rattled off a list of classics. “And, of course, this one,” I said, resuming the episode. We watched until the song was done. “You’ve never heard that?” I asked Cubby.

“This is the first time,” he assured me.

“Was she really popular?”

“Who’s Linda Ronstadt?” he asked.

I paused a moment before saying, “You’re sure your parents never talked about Linda Ronstadt?”

I don’t often bring up our 20-year age difference, mostly because it’s not often of any importance. But the fact is, Cubby’s parents are only a few years older than I am. They and I come from the same era of pop music. Cubby knows most of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours-era music, for example, because his mother played them all the time.

But not, apparently, Linda Ronstadt.

Now, I’m not a huge Ronstadt fan. In 1980, I did beg for her album Mad Love for my birthday, but more because I was obsessed with the string of New Wavetinged singles from it that were all over the radio than because it was her singing them. And I like the work she did with Dolly Parton and Emmylou Harris a lot.

But it’s not like I own her whole catalog or break those albums out regularly for a spin on the stereo.

Still, the fact that Cubby has never even heard of her is surprising. Or maybe it’s just another reminder that time passes more quickly than I would like.

Recent weeks have brought the Golden Globes and Emmys, and a quick look at the nominees and winners reveals a startling lack of pop culture awareness on my part. I recognize more of the names and faces from the in memoriam

segment than from the parade of winners giving acceptance speeches.

I asked Cubby today what musical artists he thinks of as touchstones he would be surprised to learn someone younger than himself doesn’t remember.

“TLC,” he said. “I loved them when I was younger.”

“TLC’s last significant album was more than 20 years ago,” I reminded him, perhaps a tiny bit smugly. “You should ask some of the 20-somethings you work with if they know who they are.”

“I’m not going to do that,” he said, shaking his head. “It will be like the Lisa Roberts thing.”

“Linda,” I corrected. “Ronstadt. Linda Ronstadt. And she was America’s sweetheart. How many hits did TLC have?

Two? And did any of them date Jerry Brown?”

“Who’s Jerry Brown?” Cubby asked.

“Another singer?”

Just for that, I’m going to order Ronstadt’s entire output on vinyl and start playing her constantly. Well, perhaps just the greatest hits. Or maybe just Mad Love. Anyway, at the very least, the next time we’re at the grocery and “You’re No Good” comes on, I’m totally going to sing along. Loudly.

That’ll show him. ▼ Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary award-winning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com.

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33 Letters

CAMP Stories

BY RICH BARNETT

Retirement Worries

I

recently retired after 40+ years in the great American workforce, the last 28 of which were with the same environmental NGO. My work was personally satisfying but clearly hadn’t been successful enough to save the planet, so I decided it was time to hang up my cleats and let a new generation of bright young do-gooders have their turn.

At the back of my mind, I kept remembering Joe Namath and his final painful season as a quarterback with the Los Angeles Rams. He lasted four games and threw more interceptions than touchdowns before he was benched with bad knees and a drinking problem. I wanted to depart with good memories and before anyone began questioning my play calling.

Retirement was no rash decision. l thought it through and prepared very thoroughly for what’s to come, though figuring out health care was intimidating. What worries me more, I’ll admit, is all the cheesy, clichéd retirement advice people so willingly share.

You can’t imagine, for example, how many acquaintances have congratulated me— why?—and then lobbied me on the virtues of “giving back.” They claim it will help me find purpose and satisfaction with my life. Ahem, what do they think I’ve been doing all these years? Working as an arms dealer? Of course, I don’t say that, as I know their intentions are good. I just bite my tongue and mumble through some sort of thoughtful response.

There are those who tell me retirement is so great because I’ll finally be able to “check off the items on my bucket list.” Please…I retired to get away from to-do lists. And why are Americans so obsessed with supposedly transformative experiences? Is naked hot yoga in a Nepalese yurt really going to make your life complete or will it simply remind you how inflexible your back and hips are?

Time to kick the bucket list.

My gay brothers and sisters aren’t immune to dishing out the retirement advice either. Whenever someone recommends I “do a cruise,” my skin crawls. Does one “do” a cruise or does one “go on” a cruise? Gay guys these days seem as fanatical

…when it comes to cruising, I’d much rather do mine on the beach with a chilled bottle of wine and a good book.

Letters 34 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

about ocean and river cruises as they used to be for stainless steel kitchen appliances and granite countertops. I can’t understand the appeal, given the oh-so-fabulous stories I’ve heard—ships stuck in river mud, gangs of marauding children, non-stop disco music, tacky ports-of-call, breakfast buffets, and respiratory and gastrointestinal illnesses. The most harrowing, however, is the assigned seating at dinner with the same group of people. Every night! I just can’t imagine.… Let me tell you, when it comes to cruising, I’d much rather do mine on the beach with a chilled bottle of wine and a good book.

The ladies, on the other hand, are all pushing me to take up pickleball, a trendy sport invented by a rich Republican politician and his friends from exclusive Bainbridge Island outside of Seattle. I wonder if they know that little factoid. What I know is a lot of retirees injure themselves on the pickleball court just for the opportunity to hit a wiffle ball.

Knee strains and fractures and plantar fasciitis, oh my. Nope, not for me.

Last, but not least, is the advice coming from zoned-out over-medicated people who look at me with their smug little smile and tell me how great it is that I’ll finally be able to “live my best life.” Millions of posts on Instagram and Facebook today carry the #liveyourbestlife tag, which I find astonishing because I don’t really understand its meaning. Is anyone out there not trying to live his or her best life? The other day I purchased a chainsaw on a pole, fixed myself a bourbon and ginger ale, and then spent a couple hours whacking back overgrown bushes. It needed to be done and, yes, I found it very satisfying. But is it hashtag worthy?

Honestly, it all makes my head spin. There’s enough real-world anxiety out there when it comes to retirement and aging: inflation, inadvertence, incontinence. And those are just the “i” words.

Must I now worry about committing to an ampedup, keep-up-with-the-joneses retired life driven by sappy inspirational phrases and silly bucket lists? #ayyaiyaiitsjusttoomuch. #thankgodforgummies. ▼ Rich Barnett is the author of The Discreet Charms of a Bourgeois Beach Town, and Fun with Dick and James.

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35 Letters

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Letters 36 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

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37 Letters

Words Matter

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

Share the Love

W

hen I was a kid, one of the best days of the school year was February 14. It was a sure thing that on that day, I’d be leaving school with chocolates and other sweet pleasures. At the neighborhood school I attended, Valentine’s Day was always celebrated in class with an exchange of small cards and goodies from classmates. It was an unspoken rule that each child would show up with enough treats to share with everyone in the entire class. If you had friends that you were closer to, you’d perhaps bring a few more for them, but the baseline was that everyone would be shown a little love that day and feel included.

As time went on, that shifted. In middle school and high school, it seemed that Valentine’s Day was less about expressing your love and affection for friends and classmates.

Instead, the focus became the person that you were dating or at least had high hopes that after Valentine’s Day and whatever gesture you extended to show your interest, they would consider paying you more attention. This more singular view on Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to emphasize romantic love stretched on in my orbit through at least my mid-twenties. To my delight, the focus then shifted again.

I have been single for more years than I have been in relationships, but every year, if I am dating someone or not, a man sends me a Valentine’s Day card. For almost two decades now, my brother has brought a smile to my face by reminding me that I’m loved with a card. He actually has a habit of sending two cards. One that is sentimental, and another that always evokes a belly laugh.

On the other side of the country, in California, I have a buddy who takes an approach similar to what it was like in elementary school with his Valentine’s Day card distribution. Each January, he does a query on his social media Letters 38 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

asking for all his friends and family to fill out a form he’s created to confirm or update their mailing addresses. He uses that list to send everyone a card with a handwritten message. It’s the sweetest thing and people, including myself, look forward to it.

…there are many ways and many people that I’ve had the joy of sharing some Valentine’s Day love with.

One of my most cherished Valentine’s Day memories as an adult is a group dinner with friends at one of their homes that was followed by a cupcake tasting. Every guest was asked to bring homemade cupcakes or several from their favorite bakeries. The food, wine, laughter, cupcakes, and great energy of the evening reminded me that’s what love tastes like, sounds like, feels like, and looks like. There are several types of love and Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate all of them, not just eros or passionate love.

From showing up at the bank as soon as they opened so that I could

deliver sprinkle donuts to the staff that I chat with and who have answered more questions from me than any other customer, to coming to work with those delicious heart-shaped bo-berry biscuits to share with colleagues, there are many ways and many people that I’ve had the joy of sharing some Valentine’s Day love with.

Perhaps, it’s because of what I’ve learned by watching my mom move through the world, too. Last year after a long hospital stay, she was sent to an acute rehabilitation facility. In the midst of her recovery and numerous physical and occupation therapy sessions, she’d made it a point to call my siblings and direct them to go to the store to purchase bags of chocolate and have them to her before the holiday.

She insisted that on Valentine’s Day she needed candy to pass out to staff throughout the building—not just her nurses, aides, therapists, and doctor—it needed to be enough to share with the folks in the kitchen, the front desk, and whoever was doing maintenance on her floor that day too.

Her delight in telling us the reactions of people who were surprised and appreciated the gesture was priceless.

Kindness, joy, and love have ripple effects and I think we can all agree that our world could use more.

This Valentine’s Day, share some special love with your partner, but also be sure to share some with yourself, friends, family, and anyone else that you care about in your community. A little love goes a long way.▼ Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Instagram: @Mr_CJFluker.

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39 Letters

Sailors’ Valentines

BY MARY JO TARALLO

An Octagon of Shells

I

magine a “painting” that is made entirely of multi-colored seashells. Sailors’ valentines are more like mosaics but instead of tiny pieces of glass, the visual display is made from hundreds and sometimes thousands of small shells. Some are not much bigger than the head of a pin.

These works of art have little to do with Valentine’s Day. The original sailors’ valentines consisted of two octagonal-shaped wooden boxes that were hinged together. These boxes were reminiscent of the hinged cases containing the ship’s navigational instruments, especially the compass.

The sailors’ valentines opened like a book, exposing the intricate and colorful shell designs that incorporated hearts, anchors, and flowers displayed in geometric patterns. They often included sentimental messages such as “Forget Me Not,” Remember Me,” or “With Love.” The Smithsonian Gardens’ Garden Furnishings and Horticultural Artifacts Collection, in Washington, DC, has examples of these sentimental objects.

The heyday of sailors’ valentines stretched from 1830 to 1890. Sailors, who often were away from home for months and even years at a time, brought them

“When design decisions are made, and the tweezer-assisted assembly takes over, it is a very meditative pursuit…” home from a voyage and gave them to their loved one or loved ones. Today, originals are rare, considered collectables, and are quite pricey.

Barbados played a huge role in the Letters 40 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

success of sailors’ valentines. Two English brothers—BH and George Belgrave— owned a shop in Bridgetown called Belgrave’s Curiosity Shop. They organized local women to create designs using shells that either were indigenous to Barbados or imported from Indonesia.

Sailing ships often landed in Barbados as their last stop before returning to America, England, or elsewhere. The brothers sold the valentines to sailors looking for souvenirs to take home.

Artists who create sailors’ valentines hail from all over the world. Two of the most creative and award-winning are Sussex County locals. Connie Miller is a Lewes resident and Julia Smith lives in what was the old Milton post office. They have studios in their homes.

Miller saw her first sailor’s valentine in 1986 in Sanibel, Florida, where her parents vacationed. Her father scoped out local shows so she could display her wares. “For 15 years my parents took my work all around the west coast of Florida while I was still working,” she said. Her father was a Delaware River pilot and they sailed together for 45 years.

She was an art teacher at the Rehoboth and Milton Elementary Schools

and Cape Henlopen High School before retiring. She attended the University of Delaware as did Smith who majored in sculpture and metal smithing. She has an MFA from Washington University in St Louis.

“Creating a sailor’s valentine can take hundreds of hours depending on how detailed or elaborate they are,” says Smith. Miller spends the better part of each day—from about 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.—in her studio and she says it can take her up to three months to make a 20-inch valentine. The shells are adhered to the flat part of the box with a variety of glues that can be purchased at art supply stores like Michael’s.

According to Miller, traditional valentines are those made in the 1800s.

Contemporary valentines are those made in more recent times. She is a collaborator on a book called Sailors’ Valentines: Their Journey Through Time that goes into great detail about the art objects.

Both women were raised in beach loving, sailing families. Both exhibit in shows that feature sailors’ valentines and both have been honored for their work at the now defunct Philadelphia Shell Show. Miller won first prize for a valentine and Smith

won the blue ribbon for a shell picture of a fish, a non-valentine. “We both took home a Best in Show plaque,” she said.

Shows primarily are sponsored by regional shell clubs which fluctuate with membership and enthusiasm, according to Smith. She says that Florida clubs are still quite active and North Carolina has a thriving club at present.

“Sanibel is the shell capital in the US,” added Miller. “They have a shell show although they are rebuilding after the

devastating hurricane,” she added. Miller is attending the 2024 show in March.

Traditional valentines are in high demand by collectors. A small double valentine that 20 years ago sold for $350 to $600 now can cost $3,500 to $8,500.

Depending on the size, some can fetch between $8,500 and $18,000, particularly the larger double valentines, according to the web site incollect.com Contemporary valentines, such as those made by Miller, also can cost

several thousand dollars. But mass-produced versions, such as those carried at souvenir shops, are much less.

“It’s not an inexpensive endeavor but the results are beautiful treasures to be handed down. I loved them from the first one I ever saw,” said Smith. “When design decisions are made, and the tweezer-assisted assembly takes over, it is a very meditative pursuit for those of us inclined to that sort of work. It’s not for everybody, but it’s my harmony with the universe.”

Miller and Smith make valentines of various sizes, and most are single octagonal boxes. They rely on various sources for the shells. Miller has created large scale signs for various residential communities including The Tides, Captiva Sands, and Oyster Bay. According to Smith, Martha Stewart devoted a lot of attention to the valentines about 15 years ago, which spurred massive interest and sales. “People from all over the world collect sailors’ valentines and our competitions in the states attract competitors from Canada and Japan lately as well as people from all our coastal regions,” she said.

Smith’s web site is juliaallensmith.com.

Miller does not have a site.

The Delaware Seashore State Park just below Dewey Beach at Indian River has offered lessons on how to make a sailor’s valentine. The most recent class was held in December. Contact the park for information on any upcoming classes. ▼ Pictured: opposite page, Connie Miller; left, Julia Smith. Photos by Mary Jo Tarallo.

Photos of valentines and fish by Julia Smith.

Mary Jo Tarallo is a former journalist and public relations professional for various non-profits including a ski industry trade association. She won a Gold Award for a United Way TV program starring Oprah Winfrey.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

41 Letters

Letters 42 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

43 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE BEACH AREA LODGING Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave.........................302-227-2511 Atlantic View Hotel, Ocean Front 6 Wilmington Ave......................302-227-2999 Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave.....................................................302-227-9446 Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave.................................302-227-6688 Canalside Inn, 34 6th St.................................................................866-412-2625 Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave.....................................302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave.................................302-226-2742 Summer Place Hotel, 1st St & Olive Ave........................................302-226-0766 The Avenue Inn & Spa, 33 Wilmington Ave....................................302-226-2900

LEWES FOOD & DRINK

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.com.

REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS Atlantic Jewelry, 313 South Boardwalk.........................................302-226-0675 New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy............................................302-227-8484 Stuart Kingston Gallery, 19470 Coastal Hwy.................................302-227-2524 Unfinished Business, Rt. 1 behind Panera Bread..........................302-645-8700

REHOBOTH ART | GALLERIES | MUSEUMS Caroline Huff, Fine Artist ...................................................www.carolinehuff.com Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave......................................................302-227-2050 Philip Morton Gallery, 47 Baltimore Ave........................................302-727-0905 Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln...............................................302-227-8408 Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave..............................302-227-7310

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK 1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center................................302-645-9355 Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave................................................................ 302-226-9001 Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave...............................................302-227-3674 Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave........................................................302-227-6515 Café Azafrán, 18 Baltimore Ave.....................................................302-227-8100 Café Papillon, Penny Lane Mall......................................................302-227-7568 Chesapeake & Maine, 316 Rehoboth Ave.....................................302-226-3600 Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave......................................302-227-2646 Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave................................302-227-1023 Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats 320 Rehoboth Ave.......................302-226-2739 Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave.......................................................302-227-3353 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 3 South First St.......................302-527-1400 Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave..............................................................302-226-1044 Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St.....................................................302-227-7653 Just In Thyme, 38163 Robinsons Dr..............................................302-227-3100 Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave.........................................................302-226-3066 Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave........................................302-227-6966 Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave.......................................302-226-2240 Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-1139 Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave............................................................302-227-6080 Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave.........................................302-227-1007 The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue....................................................302-567-2726

Letters 44 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

Go Brit, 18388 Coastal Hwy...........................................................302-644-2250 Harbour Waterfront Dining, 134 West Market St...........................302-200-9522 Matt’s Fish Camp, 34401 Tenley Ct...............................................302-644-2267

OTHER AREA FOOD & DRINK Bluecoast Seafood, 1111 Hwy One, Bethany................................302-539-7111 Catch 54, 54 Madison Ave, Fenwick..............................................302-436-8600 Matt’s Fish Camp, 28635 Coastal Hwy, Bethany...........................302-539-2267

SERVICES AT THE BEACH BUILDING/CLEANING/REMODELING/LANDSCAPING

A.G. Renovations ...........................................................................302-947-4096 bsd, 18412 The Narrow Rd, Lewes...................................... 302-684-8588

CHURCHES/SYNAGOGUES

All Saints’ Episcopal, 18 Olive Ave.................................................302-227-7202 Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd.......................................302-227-7743 Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 20689 Shoppes at Long Neck.......302-947-1044 M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd.....................................302-645-4945 Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd..................302-226-8977 St. George’s Episcopal, 20271 Beaver Dam Rd, Harbeson..............302-227-7202 St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes.............................302-645-8479 Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy........................302-313-5838 Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro.................................717-579-2612 Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave.........................302-227-2109

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)..........................................................866-227-7441 ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project............................302-654-3966 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org........................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect......................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Parents of Transgender & Gender Non-conforming Children............................................302-227-5620 Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+)....................302-227-2055 CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+)..................................302-515-3040 Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center...............................800-223-9074 Delaware Human Relations Commission Housing & public accommodation............................................877-544-8626 Delaware Information Line............................................................................2-1-1 Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival..........302-265-3020 Delaware Transgender Resources—transdelaware.net, delawarelgbtq@gmail.com Delaware Transgender Support.....................................................302-402-3033 Gay/Lesbian Alcoholics Anonymous—add’l schedules..................302-856-6452

Saturdays 6 pm: Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd (step meeting) Saturdays 7:30 pm: All Saints’ Church, 18 Olive Ave (step meeting) Tuesdays noon: St. Peter’s Church, 211 Mulberry St, Lewes (step meeting) Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+).........................................302-645-9293 LGBTQ Student Union—University of DE, Newark.........................302-831-8066 Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth................................................302-645-7449 PFLAG-Rehoboth—3rd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes SLAA and SAA—Thursdays, 7:30 pm, All Saints’ Church 18 Olive Ave ............................................................................302-745-7929 Social Security Administration—Lewes office................................800-772-1213 TransLiance of DE—Rehoboth—4th Tuesdays at 7 pm, MCC of Rehoboth; contact: TransLiance@gmail.com

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

Jewish Family Services........................................................ 302-478-9411 Karen Abato, LPC - Licensed Professional Counselor........... 302-500-3691 Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching.............................302-754-1954 Nancy Commisso, LCSW, Therapeutic Services.............................703-598-2938 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes ............................302-574-6954

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

Lawson Firm, 402 Rehoboth Ave...................................................302-226-3700 PWW Law LLC, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes................................... 302-703-6993 Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning..........................................302-644-8634

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center.............................302-645-0407 One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave........................................302-226-3552 Reiki CENTRAL, thecentralfirm.com...............................................302-408-0878

PEST CONTROL

Activ Pest Solutions, 16803 New Rd, Lewes................................ 302-645-1502

PET RETAIL

Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave..................................................302-226-2690 Pet Portraits by Monique................................................................717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Silver Electric..................................................................................302-227-1107

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn.......... 302-856-6361 Humane Animal Partners (formerly Delaware Humane Association & Delaware SPCA).......................................................... 302-200-7159 Little Landmines Pet Waste Removal. littlelandmines.com.......... 302-521-3983 Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes............ 302-645-7445

EVENT PLANNING/CATERING

REAL ESTATE

ELECTRICIANS

Plate Catering.................................................................................302-644-1200

FINANCIAL SERVICES

County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd.......................................... 302-226-9800 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.........................................................302-644-6620

FLORISTS

Bayberry Florist..............................................................................302-227-5725 Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy...........................................302-227-9481

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium................................ 302-645-9520

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-ROBB Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1..............302-727-5331 Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy................... 302-260-9478

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties.....................................302-226-3519 AIDS Delaware – New Castle County............................................302-652-6776 AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide...............................................800-422-0429 Brandywine Urology Consultants...................................................302-824-7039 Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy.................................302-645-3300 CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth........................................................................302-227-5620 Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic ..............................................302-933-3420 Christiana Care LGBTQ Health Initiatives.......................................302-733-1227 Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide..........................................302-654-5471 Delaware Hospice..........................................................................800-838-9800 Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center.................................... 302-297-8431 National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)...........................302-427-0787 Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln....................... 302-226-0300 Steven B. Wright, D.M.D., 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy............. 302-645-6671

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty...................................302-745-5122 Bill Peiffer, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy....................302-703-6987 Chris Beagle, Compass..................................................................302-273-4998 Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy...........302-381-4871 Hugh Fuller, Realtor........................................................................302-745-1866 John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-703-6987 Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave...........302-227-6101 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy....................... 302-645-6664 Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave....................................................302-227-3883 McWilliams Ballard, Kevin McDuffie.................................. kmcduffie@mcwb.com McWilliams Ballard, Justin Orr.....................................................jorr@mcwb.com Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty................................302-227-3883 Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy........................... 302-227-1222 The Joe Maggio Group, 37169 Rehoboth Ave Ext., #11....... 302-226-3770 Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave............................302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes............................302-313-6658 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln.................. 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave.............................. 302-278-6100 CHEER Transportation (age 50+)....................................................302-856-4909 Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk...................302-644-0400 Olivia Travel...........................................................800-631-6277 ext. 696

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November.

INSURANCE

Eric Blondin, State Farm...................................................... 302-644-3276 George Bunting, State Farm................................................ 302-227-3891 Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm............................................ 302-645-7283

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

45 Letters

WOMEN’S FEST Sneak Peek

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Fun! Entertainment! Spring! Tradition!

Women’s FEST is returning for a triumphant 23rd year, April 25-28. Here’s what you need to know.

WHAT’S NEW

Knockout Entertainers. This year’s don’t-

miss headliner is Lea DeLaria (“Big Boo” from Orange is the New Black). Lea was the first openly gay comic on television in America and is an accomplished jazz performer who has appeared in concert venues all over the world. She can currently be seen in the indie feature film Potato Dreams of America, and in the Indigo Girls jukebox feature film Glitter & Doom. And, she will be starring in the upcoming off-Broadway revival of Tennessee Williams’ play Night of the Iguana, directed by Emily Mann.

Opening for Lea DeLaria will be Crys Matthews. Already being hailed as “the next Woody Guthrie,” Nashville resident Crys Matthews is among the brightest stars of the new generation of social justice music-makers. “I believe in hope,” Matthews says. “As a socialjustice songwriter, it is my duty to keep breathing that hope and encouragement into the people who listen to my music.”

Crys Matthews's thoughtful, realistic, and emotional songs speak to the voice of a generation and remind us why music indeed soothes the soul.

Raffle. By popular request, the auction has been replaced by a raffle, which will give everyone an opportunity to participate, and a few lucky people will win big. Items will include a spectacular Olivia riverboat cruise.

Author Showcase. This year’s Expo will include more than 25 authors, just waiting to meet you, answer your questions, and sign their books.

WHAT’S RETURNING FEST passes. The pass remains the best way to enjoy Women’s FEST and not miss anything.

Georgette Krenkel Welcome Dance and Kick-Off Party. A sentimental fa-

vorite, the Georgette Krenkel Welcome Dance is the place to connect with Letters 46 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

friends new and old and plan your FEST itinerary.

Dances. The centerpiece of Women’s FEST is the Saturday Night Premier Dance, which will again be held at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center and will feature live entertainment and a DJ.

A sentimental favorite, the Georgette Krenkel Welcome Dance is the place to connect with friends new and old and plan your FEST itinerary.

Sports Events. All the favorites are back: golf, pickleball, cornhole, and bowling. Depending on the sport, sign up solo or with a team. Spectators are welcome at many of the Women’s FEST sports events.

Broadwalk on the Boardwalk. This popular activity is a fundraising event that benefits Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition programs that improve breast cancer awareness, promote the importance of early detection, provide access

to mammograms, and offer support and resources to men and women in the local community who are newly diagnosed or facing recurrence of breast cancer.

WHAT’S FREE Expo. This year’s expo will be even bigger and better. Dozens of vendors will be offering a tempting selection of items such as art, crafts, and specialty products. Nonprofit organizations will be on hand with useful information of particular interest to women, such as breast cancer support, sexual assault response and support, and other resources.

Speakers. FEST will again have a selection of fascinating and informative speakers. Stay tuned for more information.

Accessibility. CAMP Rehoboth’s Women’s FEST strives to create and maintain an inclusive and accessible environment that empowers all persons, including persons with disabilities. If you or your companion have any needs related to accessibility, please contact Hope at Hope@phoenixaccessibilityteam.com.

WHAT’S NEXT

Watch for Announcements. Like and

follow the Women's FEST of CAMP Rehoboth Facebook page and check the website (camprehoboth.com/ womensfest) frequently to find out when FEST passes and tickets are available and to get updates on programs and activities.

Book a Room If You Need One. Out-oftowners should book accommodations quickly for this popular event. Enjoy a 20 percent discount at the host hotel, The Atlantic Sands. The discount is only available for phone bookings. Call 302-227-2511 and mention “Women's FEST.” ▼

MARK YOUR CALENDARS

April 25 - 28, 2024

2024

JOIN THE FUN!

Featuring Lea DeLaria

(from Orange Is the New Black )

FEST Passes and Tix Available Starting Late February

LAUGH! PLAY! DANCE!

Photo by Tina Turnbow

Women’s FEST 2024

Lea DeLaria at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center!

Golf, pickleball, bike ride, cornhole, bowling, and more!

Thursday Georgette Krenkel’s Kick Off Party, and Saturday night dance - both at the RB Convention Center!

EXPERIENCE! The beloved speaker series returns.

DISCOVER! Popular craft expo, bingo, singles mixer, art show, and more!

REMEMBER! Honor loved ones and fight cancer: Broadwalk on the Boardwalk.

STAY!

20% Discount if booked in 2024. Call and mention

“Women’s FEST” when booking at 302-227-2511.

FOR INFORMATION OR TO BECOME A SPONSOR - CALL 302-227-5620 Updates on Women’s FEST Facebook page and camprehoboth.com

ACCESSIBILITY For information related to accessibility needs, please contact Hope@phoenixaccessibilityteam.com

37 Baltimore Avenue Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 302-227-5620 camprehoboth.com

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

47 Letters

ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULE THE MILTON THEATRE PRESENTS

LOVE STINKS Valentine‘s Comedy Show February 9 - 8PM

OUR GRANDEST PRODUCTION TO DATE!

WILMINGTON BALLET Deep Roots February 11 - 3PM

THE

It’s year-round

MARDI GRAS this 2024 as the

BROADWAY CABARET Rodgers & Hammerstein February 17 - 8PM

BACK TO THE 90'S Drag Show February 23 - 8PM

BIGGEST

STAGE, BAND, CAST

Milton Theatre celebrates its

10th ANNIVERSARY!

SAILING FOR 17 SHOWS:

Feb 29 - Mar 17

MORE EVENTS

FEB 10 - FLEETWOOD MACKED: Fleetwood Mack Tribute FEB 14 - THE FUNSTERS: Benefit Dance Party FEB 15 & 16 - JOURNEY INTO ANIMATION: MTE Winter Showcase FEB 18 - DELWARE COMEDY THEATRE: Adult Improv Comedy FEB 24 - FLYING IVORIES: Dueling Pianos MAR 20 - COMPANY: Kennedy Center Bus Tour MAR 21 - THE ULTIMATE DOORS: The Doors Tribute MAR 22 - MARCH COMEDY MADNESS: Stand-Up Comedy

MAR 23 - REMEMBERING JOHN DENVER: With Ted Vigil MAR 24 - EASTER BUNNY TEA: Interactive Show MAR 24 - THE LAUNCH: Boston, Styx, & Queen Tribute MAR 27 - SUPER TRANS AM: Anthems of the 70's MAR 28 - THE YOUNG DUBLINERS MAR 29 - FLYING IVORIES: Dueling Pianos MAR 30 - STUDIO 54 DISCO DIVAS: Drag Show APR 3 - DELMARVA BIG BAND APR 4 - THE FOUR HORSEMEN: Metallica Tribute

For more information on tickets, show details, and full events calendar go to:

www.MILTONTHEATRE.com

302.684.3038 | 110 Union St. Milton, DE Letters 48 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

rehoboth guest 28-02_Layout 1 3/30/2018 2:13 PM Page 1

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

49 Letters

Out & About

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

In Defense of “Openly Gay”

R

ecently, at an Actor’s Roundtable sponsored by the Hollywood Reporter, a group of A-List actors (and 2024 Oscar hopefuls), including Robert Downey Jr., Colman Domingo, and Mark Ruffalo got together to have a conversation about…well, a lot of things.

(It’s searchable on YouTube, if you’re curious.) During the meandering (but fascinating) conversation, Andrew Scott (who is getting a lot of buzz for his new romance-fantasy-drama All of Us Strangers) said this: “I’m going to make a pitch for getting rid of the expression ‘openly gay.’ It’s an expression that we only ever hear in the media. You are never at a party and say, ‘This is my openly gay friend.’ You never say it. Why do we put ‘openly’ in front of that adjective? You don’t say you’re openly Irish, you don’t say you’re openly left-handed.”

Scott’s comments have provoked a lot of conversation. Recently, I went back and forth with a few folks on Threads (Meta’s answer to X/Twitter) about the term and how we feel about it. Andrew, if you’re reading this, I’m a big fan, I loved you as Hot Priest in Fleabag and Moriarty in Sherlock, and I think you’re fabulous. But I also think you’re wrong.

But first, let me concede that you’re absolutely right when you say that I never use the phrase “openly gay” when introducing a friend at a party. I’d probably not even mention my friend was gay, because…weird.

But I do use the phrase in my writing, and I think it’s really important.

When I’m writing about a gay person for a wide audience, I can’t be sure if everyone is aware of their sexuality, and if it’s germane to the topic, I might want to mention it. But I wouldn’t want anyone who reads my work to think that I’m trading in gossip or outing anyone against their will, and in that case, I might refer to them as “openly gay.”

Several of the commenters on Threads felt differently. They posited that if someone is out, we should just Letters 50 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

call them gay. And if they’re not out, we shouldn’t discuss it. And I agree, as far as that goes. But that’s not the culture we live in. Sadly, we live in a tabloid culture that in no way respects anyone’s privacy.

A quick Google search conducted as I wrote this column yielded articles on whether Daniel Radcliffe, Taylor Swift, Jake Gyllenhaal, and a Real Housewife might be gay or bi or somewhere else on the rainbow.

…if Colman Domingo wins an Oscar for Rustin this year, he will be the first openly gay actor to win the Academy Award for Best Actor.

Australian actress Rebel Wilson was outed by a newspaper in 2022, and Heartstopper star Kit Connor came out as bi after being harassed on social media by his “fans.” Speaking of which, we also live with a social media landscape where anyone with a smartphone can anonymously hurl invective at will, and if you’ve ever been the object of a virtual pile-on, it’s a strangely scary and unnerving thing.

Writers and journalists, especially the ones who do respect the privacy of others, absolutely should do what they can to avoid an angry mob in their mentions accusing them of doing just the opposite.

For instance, if Colman Domingo wins an Oscar for Rustin this year, he will be the first openly gay actor to win the Academy Award for Best Actor. That will be something to celebrate. But even though he wouldn’t like the adverb, it simply wouldn’t be accurate to say that he’s the first gay actor to win that award.

Charles Laughton won it, Kevin Spacey (ugh) won it, and Marlon Brando won it twice. We know these men were all queer, and it would be incorrect, and perhaps a tad disrespectful, to erase them from the conversation. But Scott’s win would be a new thing because he’s gay and everyone knows it, and that’s never happened before (#Justice4IanMcKellan).

Now, if it’s just the “openly” thing that bothers Scott and others because it sounds a little like we’re calling someone “flagrantly gay” or “hopelessly-in-yourface-about-it gay,” then I get it. Honestly, sometimes I just use the word “out” because it denotes a certain amount of pride, is factually correct, manages my intentions, and shortens my word count.

Sadly, we still live in a world where people choose the closet. And I bear them no ill will; some do it for career advancement, some do it to protect their physical safety, others do it so they won’t be disowned by their families. So long as we live in an imperfect world that punishes anyone for coming out, we have work to do. We’ll know we’ve succeeded when there’s just no good reason for anyone to be closeted any more. And when that time comes, perhaps we can retire “openly gay” for good.

Until then, you can just refer to me as “flagrantly gay.” I kind of like it.▼ Eric Peterson is Interim Managing Editor of Amble Press, a novelist (Loyalty, Love & Vermouth), and a diversity, equity, and inclusion practitioner. In his spare time, he hosts a podcast, The Rewind Project.

2023 336 PROPERTIES SOLD. $325+ MILLION IN SALES. 402 CLIENTS SERVED. THE ONE NAME IN REAL ESTATE AT THE BEACH.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

51 Letters

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

A Very Gay Holiday!

Santa Crawl, RB Christmas Parade, Holiday Hot Spots, and New Year's Eve! THIS PAGE (left to right) 1 ) at Santa Bar Crawl:

Kristina Kelly, Jennifer Bergiuno, Paul Maltaghati, Chuck McSweeney, Michael Clay, Tom Loveland, Alonza Parker, Jim Burke, Eric Engelhart, Chris Beagle, Bill Matwery, Max Dick, Rick Hardy, Jonathan Lockerby, Duane Reed, Alex Acres, Rob Weed, Kim Strickland, Victor Camacho, Grace Shields, Brian Lachance, Brenda Lachance.

OPPOSITE PAGE 2) at Community Unity Dinner at

RB Convention Center: Terry Kistler, Chris Berg, Jodi Grahne, Ava Cannon, DE State Senator Russell Huxtable, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, RB Mayor Stan Mills, Philip Vehslage, Jim Mease, Jen Carroll, Allen Carroll; 3) at Rehoboth Christmas Parade: Kelly Phillips, Kimberly Grim, Debbie Woods, Lisa Evans, Leslie Sinclair, Sandra Skidmore, Diane Baerveldt, Steve Papi, Jerry Clark, RJ Willoughby, Dan Slagle; 4) at Freddies Beach Bar: Ed Baptisa, Paul Frene, Johnny Cervantes, Freddie Lutz, Pamala Stanley, Chris Kettner.

1

Letters 52 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

More CAMPshots page 54

2

3

4 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

53 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

1

(Continued from page 53) THIS PAGE (left to right) 1 ) at Diego’s Bar & Nightclub: Tim Jones, Tom Albreht, Ron Strivig, Charlie Ferris, Mark Kehoe, Tim Bean, Mike Safina, Jimmy Falls, Steve Mongean, Billy Burke, Ken Smith, Russ Parrott, Dusty Abshire, Joe Smith, Cody Woodfin, Tommy McGarry, Steve Pufka.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 2) at CAMP Rehoboth Holiday Market: Matty Brown, Lisa Evans, Eric Engelhart, Chris Beagle, Russell Stiles, Patricia Stiles, Bob Horne, Glenn Lash, Pat Catanzariti, Joyce Hastings, Liz Mantey, Mille Crotty, Kerry Hallett, Robb Mapou. 3) at World AIDS Day at CAMP Rehoboth: Sandra Skidmore, Joe Vescio, Yvonne Cipressi, Karen Maull, Hattie Bull, Sharon Hines, Joseph Anastasio, Rev. Heather Rion Starr.

(More CAMPshots page 72)

Letters 54 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

Holiday Market and World AIDS Day!

2

3

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

55 Letters

Straight Talk

BY DAVID GARRETT

Speak Out Against Hate

I

t was one of those serendipitous quirks that brought two faith holidays together in December 2022, as Hanukkah and Christmas overlapped. The yards were full of bright, colorful decorations—both Jewish and Christian. Then the harsh reality of hate imposed its ugly face on this serene setting. Allan and Leslie Slan, members of the Seaside Jewish Community, discovered their morning paper was strewn across their front yard. But what stood out was that the Metro section of the paper was folded open to the obituaries, and a Star of David printed on the page laid prominently beside a Hanukkah decoration.

To say this was unsettling to Allan and Leslie and their family is an understatement. It was as if some hateful person wished them dead. In the aftermath, the police and the Anti-Defamation League were contacted. The Slans were pleasantly surprised to find that their Christian neighbors now displayed the same Hanukkah decorations in their yard, as a sign of solidarity.

Fast forward to 2024 and you will find an active, committed, and passionate group called SOAH. These people are prepared to Speak Out Against Hate. What started as a collaboration between the Southern Delaware Alliance for Racial Justice and Seaside Social Justice has now expanded across the community. Their call to speak out extends to elected officials and those who hold positions of power or influence in our communities.

They have been asked to sign a pledge to end their silence in the face of hate.

The pledge reads, “There is no place for hate in Sussex County or the State of Delaware. Therefore, I pledge to speak out against hate publicly and to support legislation that is designed to hold individuals and other entities who express hate accountable for acts defined as a hate crime.”

In addition, in SOAH’s Mission Statement we read, “SOAH seeks to Letters 56 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

engage in this effort [against hate] with all people of good faith: community leaders, businesses, elected officials, clergy, law enforcement personnel, young and old, regardless of color, creed, sexual orientation, national origin or religion.”

Silence in the face of hate is complicity.

Kathy Jennings, Delaware Attorney General, was a panelist who spoke at a recent SOAH forum in Lewes. This issue is one that Jennings believes her office can affect positively. She shared how Attorneys General from across the country went on “field trips” into various cities to learn firsthand about past incidents that reflected hate crimes against persons and communities.

These included a trip to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to learn about the Black Wall Street massacre; a trip to Birmingham, Alabama, to visit the 16th Street Baptist Church, where four girls were killed in a KKK bombing; and the Legacy Museum in Montgomery, Alabama, founded by Bryan Stevenson. These are but a few of the many journeys made by this group of Attorneys General.

Hate crime legislation in Delaware has helped address this problem, according to Jennings. The Delaware legislature strengthened the hate crime statute in 2022. It is now a requirement that law enforcement agencies report hate crimes. However, they depend on the public to report such crimes to them.

No longer are actors of hate able to use a “fear defense” in their justification of committing such crimes. That is, they cannot justify their actions by claiming that they were afraid of the victim for being Black, Jewish, gay, or any other protected class.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, there are seven identified (and tracked) hate groups

in Delaware. Locally, one such group is based in Lewes, with another in nearby Georgetown. Several operate throughout the state. Hopefully, these folks will not organize any disturbing incidents in our communities.

The Delaware Department of Justice recently released data noting a total of 28 hate crimes in Delaware during 2023.

Of these, 20 were in New Castle County, two were in Kent County, and six were in Sussex County. Categorizing them by who was targeted, 16 were listed as antiBlack incidents, nine were antisemitic, two were anti-Hispanic, and one was in a general “anti-ethnic” category.

Silence in the face of hate is complicity. When any form of hate crime occurs, silence is unacceptable. Pastor Martin Niemöller wrote his famous poem, “First They Came,” in response to the rise of the Nazi regime. It cautions us that when we do not speak out for others who are oppressed, we eventually become the oppressed. Who will be left to speak for us?

SOAH is gaining momentum in fulfilling its mission. Several mayors in Sussex County have signed the pledge and want to do more. John Collier, Mayor of Milton, wrote a strong note of support. In his PS, he quoted Virgil: “The noblest motive is the public good.”

As the Slans look forward to 2024, they anticipate a growing community of like-minded people ready to make our world much better. May the candles of Hanukkah burn brightly, not only for eight days, but all year long. ▼ David Garrett, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, is a straight advocate for equality and inclusion. He is also the proud father of an adult trans daughter. Email David Garrett at davidg@camprehoboth.com.

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FEBRUARY 2, 2024

57 Letters

HOW DO I LOVE ME?

BY STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

Let Me Count 14 Ways…

L

ove is in the air. But we often forget the importance of loving ourselves and engaging in self-care. Self-care is important for individuals across all demographics.

But, members of the LGBTQ+ community may face unique challenges related to our identities, and practicing self-care becomes especially crucial.

By taking a holistic approach to loving ourselves, we can improve our overall well-being, build resilience, create safe spaces, celebrate diversity, and cope with discrimination and minority stress.

Through self-care, we as individuals can also develop healthier relationships and better serve our communities.

Maybe you already have self-care practices but need a little reminder to make them a more integral part of your routine. Here are 14 ideas to help you on your life-long journey towards self-love.

NO. 1 ❤ GET CREATIVE. Explore creative outlets such as writing, art, music, or dance to express your feelings and celebrate your uniqueness. You don’t have to change the world with your art.

But developing an artistic practice can change your world. Even singing in the shower or taking photos with your cell phone can help you disconnect and de-stress.

NO. 2 ❤ GET MOVING. We all know that exercise has positive effects on both physical and mental health. But, let’s be honest, many of us need extra encouragement to get moving every now and then! Once we start, we’re quickly reminded how good it makes us feel. Pick physical activities you enjoy so that you can make doing them regular habits.

NO. 3 ❤ BE MINDFUL. Practice mindfulness and meditation to center yourself, reduce stress, and increase self-awareness. Once you develop practices that work for you, you can learn to be more mindful in all aspects of life. Don’t know where to start? There’s an app for that!

NO. 4 ❤ CELEBRATE ACHIEVEMENTS. Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, both big and small. Reflect Letters 58 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

on your progress and give yourself credit for your accomplishments. Not everyone sees all our successes—and they certainly won’t celebrate them all when we need it the most.

NO. 5 ❤ LEARN SOMETHING. You’re never too old to learn something new.

Take that class you’ve always wanted to do. Study a new language. Skill share.

Knowledge empowers individuals and fosters a sense of pride and identity.

NO. 6 ❤ ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES. Set healthy boundaries in relationships, both personal and professional. This helps protect your well-being, ensures you are treated with respect, and can be your best self. In some cases, it can also help you make sure you’re compensated fairly!

NO. 7 ❤ SET GOALS. Take time for self-reflection to understand your values, aspirations, and personal growth. Then, set goals and determine what steps you need to take to reach them. Even a simple list in your cell phone notes can help you achieve your dreams.

NO. 8 ❤ SAY AFFIRMATIONS. Practice positive affirmations to build self-confidence and self-esteem. Remind yourself of your worth and capabilities, especially during moments of doubt, anxiety, and fear. Even simple affirmations like, “I’m doing my best” or “You’re worth it,” can be transformative.

NO. 9 ❤ UNPLUG AND RECHARGE. Constant exposure to online content can sometimes be overwhelming. We all need to take breaks from social media to disconnect and recharge. When we’re “chronically online,” we also have a tendency to curate our experiences in real life, focusing on how we’ll represent them on social media. Turn off your devices and live in the moment.

NO. 10 ❤ CONNECT WITH COMMUNITY. We’re all different; we all have different needs. But it’s important to connect on some level with people who share similar experiences. Participating in community can include attending in-person events, joining online groups, supporting LGBTQ+ owned businesses, staying connected

to LGBTQ+ media, or even one-to-one personal relationships.

NO. 11 ❤ SEEK SUPPORT. No one is perfect. If you feel like you need any kind of mental, physical, or spiritual guidance— go for it! If possible, seek assistance from folks or support groups that are LGBTQ+ affirming so that you can discuss your experiences in a safe and non-judgmental environment. If you have barriers to receiving support you need, let someone you trust know, so that you can seek out resources together.

NO. 12 ❤ GIVE BACK. We should never need an excuse to give back to our communities. By giving back selflessly, we can simultaneously step outside of ourselves and return to ourselves. Even the smallest actions, like helping a neighbor in need, will make the world a little bit better.

NO. 13 ❤ PAMPER YOURSELF. Treat yourself to activities that bring joy, relaxation, and pleasure. This could include a spa day, a favorite meal, or a movie night.

Of course, everything in moderation. If you “treat yourself” too much, you can easily become indulgent, or even addicted to things or behaviors that you see as small rewards in life.

NO. 14 ❤ ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. You are the only one who will be with you throughout your entire journey in life, from the moment you enter this world until the moment you leave. That means that you are your own best advocate.

Stand up for your rights and advocate for yourself in all aspects of life. Feeling empowered and having agency is crucial for self-love. ▼ Stephen Raskauskas is a Sussex County native who has produced content for radio, TV, digital, and print.

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FEBRUARY 2, 2024

59 Letters

IN PRAISE OF PROPHYLACTICS

BY CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Can’t We Just Talk?

I

’ve spent most of my adult life talking about sex. For a time, I even made a career of it. While those days are behind me, the impulse to teach is ever-present. As National Condom Day approaches on February 14, I want to tell you a thing or two, in praise of prophylactics.

For the purposes of review, I am referring to the stretchy tube-like sheath worn on a penis or placed inside an individual’s vaginal canal or anus to protect them from the spread of sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV. When used as directed, they also reduce the risk of pregnancy. They come in diverse forms, from basic, run-of-the-mill, to ones with bells and whistles. Some are flavored, for oral pursuits. There’s even a variety of sizes for a custom fit to one’s body—and ego.

My first interaction with a condom was in a freshman year, high school health class. Of course, I had heard about them, but this was my first time up-close-andpersonal. It included a ripe banana and lube-less, bright orange rubber. The teacher, who thrived in sports settings, was the complete opposite in a classroom. It was as if putting any energy toward teaching would rob him of his soul. His demonstration was mechanical, he didn’t make eye contact, and couldn’t be bothered with answering questions.

The atmosphere in the room was heavy and weird and it haunted me for years. I retained very little from this experience.

Years later, as a sex educator, I was committed to creating inclusive experiences for the young people in my classes. I was committed to direct, honest discourse. I spoke plainly about anatomy and using clinical terms and allowing space for giggles and jokes.

With prevention messaging, I was even more deliberate. I was sex-positive, and never downplayed the importance of contraception. I used evidence-based information to discuss available methods which prevented the spread of STIs and HIV. I also peppered the lessons with historical nuggets. For example, while Letters 60 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

condoms had been around for centuries, the first rubber-based version wasn’t invented until the late nineteenth century.

Over the course of the twentieth century, they further evolved, with latex being introduced in the 1920s, and polyurethane many years after.

Messaging around condom-use increased substantially with the AIDS epidemic but was often counterproductive as advertising wasn’t inclusive of all the

As a sex educator, I was committed to creating inclusive experiences for the young people in my classes. groups impacted by the disease. Despite this, the World Health Organization has estimated that since 1990, 117 million new HIV infections were prevented because of condoms.

By the early 2000s, condoms were more accessible. You could find them in pharmacies, grocery stores, and gas stations. You could get a free supply from local public health clinics. As a freshman at the University of Delaware, I was amazed that anyone could get a brown paper bag full of condoms, which the nurses at Student Health called the “Friday Night Special."

This accessibility didn’t always translate into other schools, as I saw first-hand when I started teaching. Administrators were vocal in their hesitation to allow

outside professionals to come into their schools to talk about sexual health and prevention. They would often conflate reproductive health education with us teaching young people how to have sex.

One principal even joked that we were probably using the Kama Sutra as our textbook. I failed to see the humor.

These days, condom talk and reproductive health discussions are more commonplace. Local organizations like AIDS Delaware, the Delaware HIV Consortium, and CAMP Rehoboth hand out thousands of condoms every year. In addition, these organizations, along with Planned Parenthood of Delaware and the Alliance for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention, provide education for individuals across the lifespan.

Though the messaging around condoms hasn’t changed much, sharing it remains mission-critical: Don’t double up or reuse them. Use a water-based lubrication. Don’t keep condoms in wallets, or back pockets. Gently press the wrapper to feel for air pockets. Once the external variety is placed on a penis, make sure the tip is pinched. Never flush them down a toilet.

I think back on that day in health class with gratitude, as it taught me—by way of poor example—how I could effectively speak about reproductive health. This skill translates nicely in life—after all, if you can talk about sex in public without breaking a sweat, you can talk about almost anything.

I hope this will prompt you to heap praise on the prophylactic. You may even be more inclined to share a prevention message with someone. On this National Condom Day, and all the other 364 days that surround it, I think that’s as powerful as the mighty condom itself. ▼ Christopher Moore is Interim Executive Director of AIDS Delaware. He loves NPR, naughty jokes, and a man who lives in Toronto.

Email him at moore.cc@gmail.com.

Photo: Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash

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61 Letters

arts+entertainment

BY LESLIE SINCLAIR & MARJ SHANNON

SPOTLIGHT ON THE

arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at the Heart of Our Community

CAMP REHOBOTH PRESENTS

I Belong Exhibition Celebrating BIPOC Artists February 10 through March 12, 2024

C

IMAGES

Above, Exum Portrait by Sheila Exum Opposite page, top to bottom: Aloud-Allowed by Willow Troise; Questions Need to be Answered

by Mijomor

AMP Rehoboth is proud to announce the upcoming I Belong juried exhibition, dedicated to showcasing the talent of artists who are Black, Indigenous, or people of color (BIPOC). This event aims to address the underrepresentation of BIPOC artists in traditional art spaces, providing a powerful platform to amplify their voices and celebrate the richness of their individual cultural heritages.

I Belong challenges prevailing stereotypes surrounding race and ethnicity, presenting alternative narratives that foster a deep sense of belonging. By highlighting the pride and beauty inherent in diverse cultural backgrounds, the exhibition emphasizes the interconnectedness that unites us all. The ultimate vision is a future where racial inclusion is not just an aspiration but a lived reality.

Juror Spotlight: Guy Miller We are privileged to have Guy Miller as the juror for this exhibition.

A graduate of Delaware State University with a Bachelor of Arts in Studio Arts, Miller furthered his education at American University in Washington, DC, earning a Master of Fine Arts degree in 2019. Miller's unique journey includes a transition from two-dimensional ink and graphite drawings to a three-dimensional focus, showcasing his versatility as an artist.

In 2020, Miller received a prestigious Emerging Artist Fellowship award from the Delaware Division of the Arts (DDOA), followed by his selection for the DDOA Career De-

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on DelawareScene.com.

Letters 62 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

arts+entertainment velopment program in 2023. His work has been exhibited at various locations throughout the state, including CAMP Rehoboth.

Don't miss this chance to be part of an inspiring celebration of diversity, inclusion, and the vibrant tapestry of BIPOC artistic expression.

Featured Artists and Mediums I Belong proudly presents 13 outstanding artists, each contributing a distinct perspective through mediums such as acrylic, oil, mixed media, graphic design, and fabric art which tells a story in the form of quilts. This selection promises a fascinating exploration of artistic expression and cultural narratives. The exhibiting artists are Bryant T. Bell, Donna L. Blakey, Nikki Brooks, Valerie Brooks, Sheila Exum, Taylor Gordon, Ann Martin, LaVerne McIntyre, Mijomor, Guillermo Silveiri, Willow Troise, Tobuje, and Julio C. Umanzor.

LOOKING AHEAD

Save the Date: Reception February 11 We invite everyone to join us for the exhibition's opening reception on

Get ready for an exciting year of outstanding visual arts at CAMP Rehoboth, with a show featuring youth artists in March, the highly anticipated FEST ART 2024 in April, interesting solo artists and group shows, and a mother-and-son exhibit featuring multiple artforms and mutual inspirations. Stay tuned! ▼

February 11 from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m.

This is a unique opportunity to meet the talented artists in person, engage with their stories, and immerse yourself in the powerful narratives conveyed through their art.

Leslie Sinclair is a member of the Delaware State Arts Council and a passionate leader of CAMP Rehoboth’s visual arts programs.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

63 Letters

Grasping at Straws

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

But Please—Not Plastic Ones

S

o, let’s say it’s 3,000 BC and you’re at a kick-butt party in Mesopotamia.

Plenty of snacks, lots of gruel, a few fatted calves on the grill, these Sumerians really know how to have a good time—but then there’s one little snag. You can’t get the last few dregs of mead from the bottom of your glass, and that’s a bummer. You switch to beer brewed right in front of you in gigantic vats, but that’s not much better.

Fortunately for you, one of your new BFFs just got back from a wild vacay in the Caucuses and he brought home a new idea: drinking straws! Party on, Dude.

It’s really hard to say who “invented” drinking straws because anyone could have noticed a hollow tube and thought, “Hey, would you look at that!” In various places, mostly in Sumeria and the area between the Baltic and Caspian Seas, archaeologists have discovered early, purpose-made drinking straws created from precious metals and hollowed stones.

If you look at the history of drinking straws, nothing much happened to the straw for a very long time—from the age of the Sumerians until around the early 1800s, when drinking cheap liquids through a rye-grass straw became a fad in America. Sure, it worked, but it altered the taste of the drink and who likes grassy mimosas?

C R E A T

You have to wonder what took so long for that to be fixed—but it was.

In 1888, inventor Marvin Stone filed a patent for a new-fangled drinking straw made of manila paper. If you imagine long strips of manila envelopes, wrapped around a pencil and glued, well, you can exactly picture his radical

And then came fast food, and the need for a straw that didn’t disintegrate into mush in a glass of soda or a chocolate malt. invention. Eventually, Stone created a machine to do the work, anybody could get a paper straw for their drink, and nobody looked back.

And that’s how it was until 1937, when inventor Joseph Friedman invented the bendable straw—a hit not just with kids, but with ailing patients and with caregivers, too.

And then came fast food, and the need for a straw that didn’t disintegrate into mush in a glass of soda or a chocolate malt. In the 1960s—in answer to that (and because they could)—manufacturers began making straws out of plastic, which could sit in a liquid forever and

Cool It! Welcome to the Dog Days Seasons in The Sun

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ever without falling apart. You could buy Krazy Straws or Silly Straws, with curves and twists and such, and you could buy extra-wide straws for that extra-thick milkshake. It didn’t take long for paper straws to become scarce.

The thing is (but few talked about it), plastic straws could be washed and reused, though pretty much nobody did and that became a problem. Drink, slurp, into the garbage those straws went and by 2011, it was estimated that around 500 million plastic straws were being used per day in America before they were tossed into landfills and oceans by the trillions. And we might not have paid much attention, except that video of a turtle and the removal of a plastic straw from the poor creature’s nostril made us all sit up and think.

Today, you can refuse a straw and nobody cares. You can bring your own and take it home for cleaning when you’re done. Or you can ask if a paper straw is available. Because leaving more plastic straws behind would really suck. ▼ Terri Schlichenmeyer’s second book, The Book of Facts and Trivia: American History, came out January 16, 2024.

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Letters 64 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

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65 Letters

Q Puzzle Nyad

Solution on Page 84 ACROSS 1 Its monitors show Windy City times 6 Frisbee, for one 10 They say it matters 14 Air Music composer Ned 15 Hedwig and the Angry ___ 16 Novelist Leon 17 Type of sex 18 Andrew of Melrose Place 19 Give a lot of mouth 20 She played Diana Nyad in the movie Nyad 23 Land of O. Wilde 24 Be a snitch 25 About to happen 29 Fit for sowing one’s seed 33 The meaning of “nyad” in Greek 36 Way to address a dominatrix 37 Had too many M&M’s, e.g.

38 The Name of the Rose writer 39 Dec. 31 (abbr.)

40 Long in the field of acting 41 She played Nyad’s trainer in the movie Nyad 46 Powder for bottoms 48 Freddie of Queen 49 West Side Story girl 52 David Sedaris’ home on the air 53 2013 documentary about Nyad

58 Pam Parsons and Patty Sheehan 59 Brother of Jermaine 60 Not erect 62 The Oscars, e.g.

63 Sea eagles 64 Crackers or bananas 65 Hit boxers 66 Saving Private Ryan event 67 Compare gays to Pedophiles, e.g.

DOWN 1 URL ending 2 Time for Frida 3 Middle name of Viva, Las Vegas singer 4 Together again 5 Hans Christian Andersen’s naked marcher 6 Castro, in S.F. 7 “What does she see ___?”

8 Strap-on for a diver 9 One that comes quickly 10 Neighbor of Brazil 11 Caspian Sea land 12 “___! Went the Strings of My Heart” 13 Hrs. in P-town 21 Graceful seabird 22 Edvard Grieg’s land (abbr.)

25 Curt refusal 26 Conductor Boulanger 27 Get to second base, perhaps

28 Gave the once-over in a gay bar 30 African language 31 Put one on top of the other 32 What a drag queen may use on her nails 34 1,101 to 47 Down 35 Hart Crane work 41 2007 movie of Elliot Page 42 Failed to mention 43 Peat areas 44 Broadway Annie, and others 45 It takes balls 47 Many a senator stuck it in him 50 Last stop before home 51 Allstate rival 53 Cop flirting in a tearoom 54 “Hi” to Lorca 55 O’Donnell homophone 56 Holy union or commitment ceremony, e.g.

57 Frozen queen 58 Mag. leafs 61 Hard top

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67 Letters

Historical Headliners

BY ANN APTAKER

Emperor Ai and Dong Xian

L

etting your lover sleep after the two of you have shared a bed is a tender expression of affection. Gently, quietly, you slip out of bed, careful not to disturb your beloved’s slumber. Maybe you smile, maybe you sigh when you look upon the face and form of the peacefully sleeping loved one. Maybe you…reach for the scissors?

This is exactly what Emperor Ai of China did around the year 10 BCE after an afternoon nap with his male lover, Dong Xian. It is not known whether Ai reached for the scissors at bedside or, more likely, had a servant fetch them (who keeps scissors by the bed??), but the scissors were needed in order for Ai to let Dong sleep.

The problem, you see, was that a voluminous sleeve of Ai’s imperial gown was caught under Dong’s body. Ai was afraid that if he pulled the sleeve free, no matter how gently, the action would disturb his lover’s nap. Thus, he required scissors to cut the sleeve in order to leave Dong undisturbed. The ancient illustration accompanying this article shows a servant cutting the Emperor’s sleeve while Dong remains peacefully asleep. Ahhhh, love.

The love story of Emperor Ai and Dong Xian and the episode known as The Passion of the Cut Sleeve, was not, however, all sweetness and light. According to current scholarship drawing on records of the time, the love between the two men, both of them in their twenties, was quite real; each man was devoted to the other. But the palace life which enveloped them was rife with intrigue, with various royals, aristocrats, and other court officials scheming for power and influence—in other words, how to get Dong out of the way so that they could secure the emperor’s attention for themselves and their families.

Liu Xin was 20 years old when he ascended the throne and became Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty. About three years later, the 18-year-old Dong Xian, a minor member of the court, caught the emperLetters 68

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

or’s eye, and his heart. Though the emperor was married, as was Dong—which was required of royals and officials of the time in order to provide male heirs, or daughters who would marry into political alliances—it was not unusual for an emperor and other members of the Chinese male elite to have male lovers.

…the love between the two men, both of them in their twenties, was quite real; each man was devoted to the other.

What was unusual in the relationship of Emperor Ai and Dong Xian, however, was Ai’s complete disinterest in his wife.

He therefore had no children, reserving his romantic sexual affections exclusively for Dong Xian. Though Dong fulfilled his obligation to father children, he nevertheless remained devoted to Ai and had no other lovers. Thus, unlike the accepted practice of having a variety of lovers, the relationship of Emperor Ai and Dong Xian appears to have been monogamous.

In addition to the domestic side of their relationship, the emperor showed his affection by showering Dong with honors and titles, continuously elevating his status in the court. He even moved Dong’s wife and children into sumptuous rooms in the palace. This naturally provoked a backlash among the ever-scheming members of the court who resented this junior member leap-frogging over them for the emperor’s political favor and the riches and privileges which that favor brought.

All of this came to an abrupt and unexpected end when Emperor Ai took seriously ill and died at the age of 24.

Having no heirs, he declared on his deathbed that his beloved Dong Xian should succeed him to the throne and reign as the next emperor.

The imperial counselors and court officials would have none of that. On the day of Ai’s death, Ai’s grandmother, the Grand Empress Dowager, led a successful effort to discredit Dong Xian, accusing him of various forms of corruption. By the end of the day, with the royal wolves circling, Dong Xian was not only dishonored, he and his family were thrown out of the palace.

Dong and his wife committed suicide the very next day.

The tender years of The Passion of the Cut Sleeve came to an end. The story of the romance between Emperor Ai and Dong Xian lingered in Chinese culture for many years, and the term The Passion of the Cut Sleeve came to mean romantic and sexual love between men. Though the term has currently fallen out of favor, the tragic love story of Emperor Ai and Dong Xian is still told.▼ Ann Aptaker is the author of short stories and the Lambda & Goldie award winning Cantor Gold series. Her latest book, A Crime of Secrets, was released July 4, 2023.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

69 Letters

BuyWays

BY MIKEY ROX

Queer-ish Valentine’s Gifts Spread the love this February 14 with our thoughtful Valentine’s gift picks for anyone you like or lust.

Centrolina V-Day Pasta Kit Washington, DC-based Centrolina’s seasonally inspired restaurant menu gets the delivered-to-your-door treatment with Chef Amy Brandwein’s holiday gift baskets featuring four handmade pastas and from-scratch sauces, including heart-shaped beet ravioli with ricotta and lemon butter, a mushroom and black truffle ragu, sunchoke tagliolini and oyster cacio pepe, and chestnut pappardelle, among other elevated-Italian recipes that you and your lil’ meatball can whip up on date night. $175, CentrolinaDC.com ‘Spread the Love’ Plantable Pencils SproutWorld’s set-of-eight Love Edition pencils set themselves up for seed-spreading jokes given Cupid’s context, but the real sentiment is sweeter: Plant the lead-free, graphite writing utensils (engraved with romantic quotes on certified wood) in potted soil and enjoy striking flowers and fragrant herbs in one to four weeks. $15, Amazon.com Aspen Getaway Missed Aspen Gay Ski Week? No sweat.

You’ll fight fewer crowds as the season winds down—without compromising your commitment to luxury—during a late-winter getaway to the heart of Colorado’s Rocky Mountains at the W Aspen.

Book unforgettable outdoor adventures, like heliskiing and dog sledding, with the property’s always-available concierge; spend après hour on the rooftop WET deck before diving into delicious Letters 70

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dishes at onsite restaurant 39 Degrees; see and be seen at Ponyboy, the property’s cocktail-focused modern speakeasy rooted in New York City nightlife; and pour yourself a nightcap from your in-room mini bar before relaxing in the suite’s deep soaking tub. Marriot.com La Maison du Chocolat Heart-shaped candy clichés are much more palatable when the contents within are made in Paris instead of Hershey, Pennsylvania, and your intended will be sufficiently satisfied with La Maison du Chocolat’s selection of premium confections—including melt-in-your-mouth ganaches, pralinés, and bouchées, oh my—available in festive and indulgent 14- and 44-piece boxes. $60-$140, LaMaisonDuChocolat.com Nexgrill Ora Pizza Oven Not a fan of fancy dining out? Slip into those grey sweats he won’t let you wear in public, top off the Veuve, and fire up Nexgrill’s Ora 12 portable propane pizza oven wherein a to-temp cordierite baking stone will cook your personalized pies to perfection at up to 900 degrees. That’s burnin’ love, baby. $299, HomeDepot.com Just Happy to Be Here YA Novel Have a they/them in your life excited to expand their winter reading list?

Gift a copy of Naomi Kanakia’s newly published YA coming-of-age novel, Just Happy to Be Here, about Tara, an Indian-American transgender teenager

seeking quiet support and acceptance within her school’s prestigious academic group but instead becomes the center of attention when she draws the ire of administrators and alumni. $16, Amazon. com Perfect Pairings Set it off this Valentine’s Day with a curated selection of wine and spirits, including the Pale Rosé, created by Sacha Lichine, of Whispering Angel fame; Flat Creek Estate’s red-blend trio, featuring the 2017 Super Texan, 2018 Four Horsemen, and Buttero; Ron Barceló’s Imperial Premium Blend 40th Aniversario rum; and the Bourbon Rosemary cocktail-ina-can from Spirited Hive. $17-$199 Moon Bath Bomb Stars aligned for that little meet-cute you told everybody about on TikTok, and you can trust the universe to provide ample relaxation when you plop Zodica Perfumery’s Moon Bath Bomb in the tub—there’s a specific formulation for every sign—which promises vibe-setting aromatherapy, activated charcoal for deep cleansing, and skin-soothing olive oil for the self-love glow-up you’ve been waiting for. $18, ZodicaPerfumery.com ▼ Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @ mikeyroxtravels.

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

71 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

1

2 (Continued from page 55) THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Top of the Pines New Year's Eve Party: Michael Wilkinson, Billy Porter, Matthew Southworth, Jayleen Bankes, Brenda Johnson, Tia Johnson, Tim Eichers, Larry Malanphy, David Gonce, Brian Medoza; 2) at Blue Moon New Year's Eve: John Gradel, Rob Kennedy, Brady Carnahan, Tracy Applegate, Dan Gales, Joan Stack, Allen Ragan, Tim Ragan, Randy Haney; 3) at RB Christmas Tree Lighting: Lynn Ham, Tony Burns, Josh Appleman, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski.

OPPOSITE PAGE 4) at Top of the Pines: Nancy Fisher, Diane Debus, Diane Cooke, Doreen Hartley, Teri Knox, Melanie Clark, Topaz Terry, Heather Leona, Cindy Small, Terri Annis, Jane St. Clair, Kim Richards; 5) at Aqua Seasonal Closing: Brent Quinn, Matthew Diamico, Scott Brintzeri, Steve Morris, Laurence Duke, Robert Simpson, Michael McHugh, Kevin Naff, John Bator; 6) at Freddie’s Beach Bar: Larry Richardson, Joe Filipek, Holly Lane, John Flynn, Joe Petrone, Shawn Evans, George Toma, Tom Protack. ▼

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73 Letters

Celebrity Interview

BY MICHAEL COOK

Bianca Del Rio Hits the Road

W

hether she’s hosting The Pit Stop or touring the world with her brand-new global comedy tour Dead Inside, Bianca Del Rio remains hilariously incomparable. As she prepares to hit the road to start entertaining the masses, Del Rio sat down with me for an extensive chat. She offered some solid advice on how to pivot from Drag Race to touring life, and told me the one location on the globe that she has yet to travel to, but is more than ready to explore!

MICHAEL COOK: You are heading back

out on the road with your new comedy tour, Dead Inside. What has brought you roaring back to the stage?

BIANCA DEL RIO: I had been doing tour after tour, so a year off has given me all of the ammunition to come back and be raging yet again! As I often tell people, I don’t know if we’re going to solve any

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of the world’s problems, but we are definitely going to laugh at the BS that is going on—you have to!

MC: This is your sixth tour, after both Unsanitized and It’s Jester Joke being monumental successes. The last tour was the first tour since COVID and you managed to take what had been going on in the world and turn it on its ear, making people truly laugh again. Was the reaction everything you wanted or did some people insist on still being insufferably offended about some of the content?

BDR: I think there are always going to be PITA people, but I think that the minute that there are none, then you’ve lost it.

The people that were there and the ones that confront me had nothing but good things to say. Years ago, someone had to be rude to your face; now they can just do it online.

Rarely is someone rude to my face and I look at it this way: if you come and

buy a ticket and you’re not in favor of it or it’s not your cup of tea, I can respect that. You’ve seen it from beginning to end and that is your opinion and we’re all entitled to that.

It’s the people that just see a clip or a photo or just assume by the title “this and this” and it’s like, you have no idea!

In the end, I am always grateful for the people that come and watch and usually the people that get it are the smart ones.

So, I am grateful for that.

MC: With every tour, you break new ground across the globe. From Carnegie Hall to Wembley Stadium, you have headlined monumental spaces. Is there anywhere in the entire globe that you have not headlined that you still would love to?

BDR: Antarctica! It’s the only continent that I haven’t done yet. The last tour was 129 shows, 27 countries, and 99 cities.

Antarctica being the only continent I haven’t done yet, I am going to go entertain the penguins. Sign me up—let’s do it!

MC: You are a person who has not forgotten where they come from, and you make a concerted effort to bring the people you know along with you to get a chance to relish your success as well as have their own. Is that by design?

BDR: It started in the UK. It was required to have an “interval”—intermission to us in America, but interval there. I can’t break up my show because I’m not doing shows and costume changes, so we decided if we had an opening act, we could have an interval in between and I would go on and do my full set. It’s impossible to lure people in, stop, and then come back.

Immediately there were fabulous girls that I knew—Mary Mac, Myra DuBois— who were in the UK and who were friends of mine. Then we came back to America, I think it was the third or fourth tour, and I said, “Why can’t we do this in America as well?” Wendy Ho and Sherry Vine were friends of mine in New York City. They were two of the first people that I met there and were basically just

The other piece of advice that I give people is never let them see you sweat… lovely and no BS, and they’ve remained that way.

MC: You have very strong opinions about lots of things, and I am sure that people consistently approach you for advice on things. What is the one piece of advice that you consistently find yourself giving out?

BDR: The big question is always, how do I make this happen, how do I go on the road? How do I gather an audience?

First you have to have an act, you have to have an act of some sort of product.

Decide on that and then you can run with it.

The other piece of advice that I give people is never let them see you sweat; you just can’t. You can’t let them ruffle your feathers. I’m intimidated by no - Letters.pdf 1 1/23/2024 AM a one—or at2024.01 least they don’t think11:39:52 so. It’s

complete business and that is how you have to look at it. I often tell them that— not that they follow it because they still go do albums and music videos anyway (laughs)! The key to all of it is really going on the road. ▼ Follow Bianca Del Rio on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ thebiancadelrio/?hl=en Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct Magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News.

Photo credits: opposite page Shaun Vadella Right, Erik Carter.

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Start your journey to “Lodge Life” today by calling 844-493-9888 LEWES & REHOBOTH BEACH, DE | WWW.LODGELIFEDE.COM | 844-493-9888 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

75 Letters

The Sea Salt Table

BY ED CASTELLI

Black and White Bread Pudding

V

alentine’s Day has me thinking about love. Not just the romantic kind. Nor the love that binds family and friends. But my feelings in general, towards things and situations I adore.

As a newbie writer, I love this column. And I’m learning that each installment blatantly or inadvertently shares something about myself. Sometimes things I’ve never shared with another soul. And sometimes, more often than I’d like to admit, I repeat myself.

This month, in the spirit of Valentines everywhere, I’m pointedly sharing a few things I love. Many of these, others hate. Some are even abhorred. And that’s OK. This is me. You do you.

I’ve made no secret that I love sardines. And the burnt edges of whatever you’re cooking, especially if it involves cheese. I love the butt end of bread, and crusts for that matter. Oh, and I’ll always take the first slice of meatloaf.

I love driving in snow. Cold hikes. Gray landscapes. Nesting, flannel everything, bourbon! Even the doped-up feeling I get on Nyquil. Oh, and the weight of many blankets, even in summer AC. I love the sore back I get stacking firewood. The firewood delivery is a red-letter day for me. It means the harvest is on, woolen sweaters are around the corner, and it’s time for casseroles.

I l-o-v-e woodburning fires. I grew up with a fireplace and it taught me respect for the process in a Boy Scout-ish way. Mom insisted we remove the ashes after every burn. I remember the clunky dustpan and the tricky dance of loading a paper Acme bag.

I love holiday and seasonal napkins. Frankly, they’re an addiction.

I love the fumes of a bus that’s idling diesel fuel. This is a throwback to my days touring with a drum and bugle corps. IYKYK. I love the sound and smell of steam radiators. There may have been frost on our childhood windows, but we never went without heat. My Dad grew up cold and vowed he’d never be so again. He shared a bed with three siblings, their only heat rising through grates in the floors.

Even our water was scalding. So hot, Dad would make instant coffee from the tap. I know—ick.

I could go on and on. But you get the idea. I love all the seasons, including winter. Speaking of which, here’s a warming dessert...my Black and White Bread Pudding. It’s gooey and decadent. Perfect for Valentine’s Day. Let’s get started, shall we?

This month, in the spirit of Valentines everywhere, I’m pointedly sharing a few things I love.

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STEPS

 In a large bowl, beat 4 large eggs. Lightly

mix in the following: • 1 cup whole milk • 2 cups half-n-half • 1 cup white sugar • 1 Tbl vanilla extract • ¼ tsp salt • ¼ tsp almond extract (optional) • 1.5 cups white chocolate morsels • 1.5 cups dark chocolate morsels • 12 to 16 oz loaf of French bread, cubed into ½” pieces

 Pour into a lightly greased 9x13” pan and let it stand 30 minutes. Preheat your oven to 350°.

Bake the pudding for about 40 minutes,

until the edges are golden brown and the center is set. Let cool at least 10 minutes.

Mix the following in a small saucepan: ½

cup butter, ½ cup light brown sugar, and 1 cup heavy cream. Bring to a boil for one minute.

Remove from the heat and stir in ¼ cup coffee liqueur.

Serve a portion of the warm pudding with some sauce over top. For even more indulgence, add a small dollop of whipped cream.

TIPS You can certainly skip the sauce, but you’ll be missing out on a big part of what makes this recipe so special.

I lean towards the lesser amount of bread cubes. I’ve even used the 12 oz bag of Martin’s Potato Bread Cubes with great results.

After assembly, you can cover the pudding and store it in the ‘fridge overnight.

Allow it to come back to room temperature before baking. ▼ Ed and his husband Jerry split their time between homes near Harrisburg Pennsylvania and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog Atticus.Recipe requests and feedback welcome:ed@ seasalttable.com.

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79 Letters

The REAL DIRT

BY ERIC W. WAHL

Barking Up the Right Tree

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n occasion, I am tasked with identifying trees during the winter. This can be difficult, especially for deciduous trees that lose their leaves during the dormant season. However, we can also use the bark as a source of identification.

The bark of a tree serves as a protective outer layer, shielding it from various environmental factors, especially since its most vital layer of xylem and phloem are located just underneath the bark.

Beyond its functional role, bark can be a key identifier for tree enthusiasts and environmental explorers. Recognizing trees by their bark is an exciting skill that allows individuals to connect with the natural world on a deeper level.

The texture of bark is a fundamental characteristic to observe. It can range from smooth to rough, peeling, or furrowed. For example, the American beech has smooth, silver-gray bark, and is quite distinguishable in the winter landscape.

The Eastern white pine exhibits scaly, flaky bark. The river birch, in contrast, has a peeling bark that displays undertones of varying colors.

Bark color can also be a distinctive feature. The red maple boasts reddish-brown bark, providing a stark contrast to the paper birch’s white, peeling

Beyond its functional role, bark can be a key identifier for tree enthusiasts and environmental explorers. bark. The striped maple has a unique, vertical striping pattern in whites and greens, whereas the popular crape myrtle has varying colors of tans, oranges, and browns. In addition, pay attention to variations in color, as it may change with the tree’s age or environmental conditions.

Examine patterns, markings, and other unique features on the bark too.

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Some trees, like the sycamore, display a camouflage-like pattern, almost appearing like giant puzzle pieces in shades of green, gray, and bone white. While others, such as the cherry tree, exhibit a horizontal pattern formed by their lenticels. These distinctive characteristics can aid in precise identification of certain trees when they no longer have their leaves or fruit hanging from their branches.

Consider the composition of the bark. Is it thin and papery, like that of the river birch, or is it thick and corky, as seen in many of the oaks? Shagbark hickory has long strips of its thick bark peeling away from its trunk as it ages.

Understanding the physical makeup of the bark can contribute to accurate tree identification.

While not always a practical method, some trees have distinct odors associated with their bark. The black cherry, for instance, emits a distinctive almond scent when the bark is scratched. The sweet birch has a distinctive aroma of wintergreen when crushed. However, use caution when employing this method, as some trees may have bark with no discernible odor, but their sap could be irritating.

Identifying trees through bark characteristics is a rewarding skill that enhances our appreciation for the diverse flora that surrounds us. By paying attention to texture, color, patterns, composition, and even odor, one can embark on an enriching journey of tree recognition.

Whether you’re an avid nature enthusiast or are just starting, exploring the world of trees through their bark adds a new layer of understanding to our connection with the natural environment.

Be safe, and let’s garden together.▼ Eric W. Wahl is Landscape Architect at Pennoni Associates, and President of the Delaware Native Plant Society.

Tips and Tools for Identifiing Woody Plants in Winter  FIELD GUIDES AND APPS:

Carry a reliable field guide or use a tree identification app on your mobile device. These resources provide detailed information and images, making it easier to compare the bark characteristics observed in the field.

They also help to explain minute details that may be observed within the bark. I use Peterson Field Guides as my go-to resource.

 SEASONAL CHANGES:

Be mindful of seasonal changes.

Bark appearance can alter with the seasons due to growth, shedding, or exposure to environmental elements.

Consider observing trees during different times of the year for a comprehensive understanding of the trees as well as a renewed understanding of their bark.

 LOCAL KNOWLEDGE:

Learn about the native tree species in your region. Familiarizing yourself with the common trees in your area can streamline the identification process. In addition, understand local ecosystems and what species typically can be found together. This can offer great insight into identification. ▼

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81 Letters

WE REMEMBER

Shawn M. Noel

S

hawn “Shawnie” M. Noel passed away Wednesday, December 27, 2023. Shawn was born April 26, 1950, in Sacramento, California, to the late Arnold “Pappy” Clement Noel and Marjorie “Nonnie” Aurelia (Cameron) Noel. The family moved to Alexandria, Virginia where Shawn grew up.

Shawn graduated from T.C. Williams High School in 1968 and from Bethel University, McKenzie, Tennessee. She returned to T.C. Williams, where she taught physical education and was the coach for the girls’ soccer and field hockey teams. Shawn would later teach physical education at Maury Elementary; she received the Agnes Meyer Award for Teaching through the Alexandria, Virginia School District.

Shawn retired to Bethany Beach, where she met the love of her life, Alicia Miller. Shawn then moved to Lewes, where she and her partner/wife spent 22 happy, fun-loving years with family, friends, and their animals. Shawn loved her cats and was dedicated to helping the feral cat population through Coastal Cat Rescue. Shawn fell in love with Alicia’s dog, Jack, and together they raised and cherished their dog, London, until August 8, 2023. Shawnie had a green thumb when it came to flower gardens; she also tended the flower gardens and landscape at church.

In addition to her parents, Shawn was preceded in death by her half-sister, Claudia Frazier, and brother, Trace Noel.

Shawnie is survived by her brother,

Kevin Michael O’Neill

K

evin Michael O’Neill, of Lewes, Delaware, and Poolesville, Mayland, passed away December 9, 2023. Kevin leaves behind many friends and family members who will miss him profoundly, including most notably his husband, Steven P. Ross, of Lewes.

He was predeceased by his parents, Charles and Karen O’Neill; grandparents, Walter and Kathrynn Lucinski, and Alice and Bernard O’Neill; and several extended family.

In addition to his husband, he is survived by his brother, John O’Neill; nephew, Braden O’Neill; numerous extended family; many special friends; his beloved rescue hounds, Hope, Donna, Quinn, and Ribeye; and his tortoise, Stan Lee. Kevin graduated from the University of Maryland with a bachelor’s degree in social work and psychology, and after working in various hospital settings in direct care and management, began a career in healthcare consulting and technology sales. He was thrilled recently to return to a position directly helping others as a peer recovery coach at Beebe Healthcare in Lewes.

A celebration of his life was held January 13, 2024, at Angola by the Bay Clubhouse. Anyone wishing to make a donation in memory of Kevin, please consider a donation to Beebe Medical Foundation, 902 Savannah Road, Lewes, Delaware 19958, to support the work that he was passionate about—peer recovery services for those struggling with the disease of addiction.

Visit Kevin’s Life Memorial and sign his online tribute page at parsellfuneralhomes.com. ▼ Letters 82

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

Mycal Noel (Maria); sister-in-law, Edith Appleton; former sisters-in-law, Paige and Janet; and many extended family.

Shawn is survived by her loving wife and life partner, Alicia, and Alicia’s family, who was also Shawnie’s family.

A Celebration of Life was held on January 27, 2024, at the Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth Beach.

Anyone wishing to make a donation in memory of Shawn, please consider a donation in her name to Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth Beach, PO Box 191, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971; or Coastal Cats, PO Box 45, Selbyville, DE 19975.

Visit Shawn’s Life Memorial webpage and sign her virtual guestbook at parsellfuneralhomes.com. ▼

Elizabeth Orr

E

lizabeth “Bet” Orr passed away Thursday, January 4, 2024. She was born April 20, 1945, in Lynchburg, Virginia, daughter of the late Lawrence Orr and Rebecca Mitchell.

Bet had many gardening clients in both Washington, DC, and Delaware. She designed many holiday decorations in downtown hotels and department store windows. Bet and Marianne Lester, her lifelong partner of 36 years, moved in 1989 into one of Milton’s historic homes. Behind the home was a hidden garden with many unique annuals and lovely perennials.

Throughout the years, Bet was an excellent businesswoman and creative landscape designer of unique small gardens in the historic districts of Lewes and Milton.

One of the many gifts she shared with friends and clients was filling antique vases with large, beautiful bouquets of summer dahlias.

Bet’s gardens were often on the Milton Garden Club House Tours and Lewes Garden Tour, and she received many awards.

She was a highly respected businesswoman in Washington, DC, Milton, and Lewes.

Bet and Marianne enjoyed spending their retirement years in Milton and winters in Dunedin, Florida.

She is survived by her sister, Sharon Saunders; brother-inlaw, Randy; and nieces, Michelle Davis (Scott) and Fallon Birch (Alex).

A celebration of life will be held at a later date. ▼

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At the Delaware Community Foundation, we help donors and their professional advisors make savvy decisions about charitable giving to maximize tax advantages and community impact.

DCF President & CEO Stuart Comstock-Gay with donor Bob Martz

To learn more, contact Mike DiPaolo, vice president for Southern Delaware, at mdipaolo@delcf.org or 302.335.6933.

delcf.org/daf FEBRUARY 2, 2024

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Celeste Beapre Yvonne Cipressi Diane Mead Kim Nelson Dotti Outland Lori Simmons Leslie Sinclair Mark Vilandry Debbie Woods ARTS TEAM

Logan Farro Jane Knaus Lois Powell Leslie Sinclair Patricia Stiles Debbie Woods CAMP ADMIN

Sherri McGee

camprehoboth.com/volunteers to register as a volunteer and to sign up for available opportunities.

thank you CAMP COURTYARD CLEANUP

Carol Brice Karen DeSantis Shawn McHugh Rachel

CAMP DATABASE

Sondra Arkin

CAMP LIBRARY

Glenn Lash

CAMP MAINTENANCE

Carol Brice Eric Korpon

CAMP THEATRE

Teri Seaton Russell Stiles

CAMPCIERGES

Barbara Breault Ken Currier Bob Grant Jim Mease Kim Nelson Patricia Stiles Russell Stiles Joe Vescio

CAMPSAFE CONDOM STUFFING PARTY

Bruce Clayton

CAMPSAFE HIV TESTING AND COUNSELING

Tom Chaplin Dick Hospital E.J. Kenyon Mike Merena Alan Spiegelman Joe Vescio

CAMPSHOTS PHOTO VOLUNTEERS

G Michael Beigay Tony Burns Vincent DeLissio David Garrett

CHORUS LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE

Bill Fuchs Dianna Johnston Carolyn Laurenzo Judy Olsen Gloria Richards Dave Scuccimarra Travis Stevens

CROP AT FOOD BANK

Julie Blake Mark Eubanks Dee Dee Jones Jim Mease Beverly Miller Rich Morgan Debbie Woods

DEVELOPMENT TEAM

Jane Blue Pat Catanzariti Wes Combs Mike DeFlavia Amanda Mahony Albanese

GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF WASHINGTON—SELFIES

Chris Beagle Rick Buske Eric Engelhart David Garrett Andrew Gertge Mark Lenard Shawn McHugh Barb Ralph Larry Rosen

to all the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center Volunteers for the period: 12/3/23 - 1/19/24

HOLIDAY HANDMADE MARKET

Celeste Beaupre Bob Croker Mark Eubanks Bob Horne Glenn Lash Michelle Manfredi CeCe Mitrani Doug Sellers

LETTERS DISTRIBUTION TEAM

Glenn Lash Jim Mease

LETTERS MAILING TEAM

Nancy Hewish Grant Kingswell Vicki Martina Stephen Palmer Linda Yingst

LETTERS PROOFING

Barb Ralph

MEMBERSHIP TEAM

Jane Blue Ann Evans

TOY & CLOTHING DRIVE

Paul Christensen Nancy Commisso Karen DeSantis Kate Frampton Madelyn Jablon Kim Nelson Leslie Sinclair Debbie Woods VOLUNTEER DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE

Madelyn Jablon Marce McCollum-Martin Jim Mease Kim Nelson Rina Pellegrini John Michael Sophos Joe Vescio

Karen DeSantis Jeff Donovan Lissa Dulany Richard Gamble Robert Grant Bob Horne Madelyn Jablon Kim Leisey Jeannie Marsh Sherri McGee Kim Nelson Dotti Outland Mark Paugh Robert Ponzini James Schmidt Teri Seaton Dianne Shawley Russell Stiles Susan Taylor Mark Vilandry

WEST REHOBOTH TOY COLLECTION VOLUNTEERS

Barbara Breault Carol Brice Renate Costner Brian Cox Ken Currier Mike DeFlavia

FEBRUARY 2, 2024

85 Letters

AD INDEX 1776 Steakhouse...................................................39 AG Renovations......................................................49 Atlantic Jewelry......................................................33 Beebe Healthcare..................................................27 Brand g Vacations....................................................9 Brandywine Urology Consultants...........................19 Café Azafrán...........................................................49 CAMP Rehoboth Annual Sponsors.........................14 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, The British Are Coming..13 CAMP Rehoboth Development Charitable Distribution.............................................................29 CAMP Rehoboth Development Ways to Give.........81 CAMP Rehoboth End of Year Giving Thank You.......7 CAMP Rehoboth Letters Subscription....................85 CAMP Rehoboth Membership................................78 CAMP Rehoboth Membership Sign-Up..................79 CAMP Rehoboth Women’s FEST.............................47 CAMPsafe...............................................................26 Caroline Huff, Artist................................................17 Chris Beagle Group, Realtors.................................11 Clear Space Theatre...............................................67 Coho’s Market & Grill..............................................31 County Bank...........................................................59

Delaware Community Foundation.........................83 Delaware Hospice..................................................20 Dogfish Head.........................................................36 Donna Whiteside, Realtor......................................22 Envision Style & Health..........................................37 Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant.........................87 Gay Women of Rehoboth.......................................39 go fish go brit.........................................................35 Hugh Fuller, Realtor................................................42 Humane Animal Partners Delaware.......................61 Jack Lingo, Real Estate..........................................65 Janney Montgomery Scott LLC..............................57 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.................................11 John Black, Realtor................................................21 Jolly Trolley............................................................84 Lana Warfield.........................................................35 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, Realtors........................51 Lori’s Café..............................................................84 Maplewood Dental Associates...............................35 Milton Theatre........................................................48 New Wave Spas......................................................37 Olivia Travel............................................................15 Purple Parrot..........................................................43

PWW Law................................................................39 Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Realtors..............86 Rehoboth Beach Bears...........................................77 Rehoboth Beach Dental.........................................49 Rehoboth Guest House..........................................49 Rigby’s Bar & Grill...................................................69 Sea Bova Associates, Realtors...............................88 Seaboard Hospitality....................................... 31, 66 State Farm - George Bunting.................................61 State Farm - Jeanine O’Donnell/Eric Blondin.........35 Stuart Kingston Gallery..........................................23 Sussex Family YMCA..............................................59 The Flats.................................................................71 The Joe Maggio Group, Realtors...........................39 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead..............................75 Troy Roberts, Realtor..............................................17 Village Volunteers..................................................17 Volunteer Opportunities.........................................85 Volunteer Thank You..............................................85 Windsor’s Flowers..................................................84

5 Single Family Homes On the Bike Path 4BR, 3BA from $1,325,000 5BR 4BA from $1,400,000 WINTER INCENTIVE: BUILDER PAYS ENTIRE 4% TRANSFER TAX

246 Rehoboth Avenue,

Seaside Court

New Construction, 2 Floor plans w/ large BRs Family Room option Fireplace Bosch Appliances Quartz Counters LVP Tile baths Full Basement w/8’ Ceiling Extensive landscape plan

Randy Mason Shirley Kalvinsky Cell: (302) 236-1142 Cell: (302) 236-4254 Rehoboth Beach, DE 302-227-3883 (office) Randy@jacklingo.com Shirley@jacklingo.com Letters 86 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

Zane Jones Cell: (302) 470-7669

ZaneJones@jacklingo.com

Viki Dee Happy Hour 5pm-8pm Follie’s @ the Beach Drag Show 9pm-11pm Karaoke 11pm-12:30am Karaoke February 6 - JD Rogers & ICE Productions

www.freddiesbeachbar.com

3 S 1ST Rehoboth Beach, De 19971 FEBRUARY 2, 2024

87 Letters

LINDA BOVA

BRIDGET BAUER

BROKER-ABR®

ASSOC. BROKER-REALTOR®

CELL

CELL

302-542-4197

CAMELOT MEADOWS Rehoboth. 2000 3BR/2BA doublewide is 1,680 sq. ft.

Family room with fireplace.

Community pool & just 3.5 miles to beach. $209,900 (2051848) Lot Rent $693/mt.

CAMELOT MEADOWS Rehoboth. 1978 2BR/1BA w/12’x28’ sunroom. 1,136sf.

Wood & gas FP! 10’x20’ shed.

Community pool & 3.5 miles to boardwalk. $125,000 (2054630) Lot Rent $824/mt.

*A/C

ASPEN MEADOWS Rehoboth. 1991 3BR/2BA has “Aspen Room” + 10’x20’ sunroom for 1,306 sq. ft.

Community pool & 4 miles to RB boardwalk. $169,900 (2053864) Lot Rent $788/mt.

302-245-0577

SEA AIR - Rehoboth.

2BR/1BA 2015 Forest River 36’ RV w/3 slide-outs. Nice kitchen. Sleeps 6-9 people.

Community pool & 3 miles to beach. $42,500 (2050802)

Seasonal 4/15-11/15 $5,250 Rent

SUN RETREATS - Millsboro.

3BR/1BA 2016 Skyline Park Model w/ enclosed porch.

Nice kit. Big bath. FP in LV. Marina, pool & more. $120,000 (2053018) Lot Rent $6,661 for the Season 4/15-10/31

*A/C

B A Y CIT Y - Mill sbo ro .

Waterfront! 2003 3BR/2BA doublewide w/an addition for 1,456sf. Right next to the boat ramp or rent a slip. $179,900 ( 2050320 ) Lot Rent $1,275/mt.

POT-NETS BAYSIDE Long Neck. 1970 3BR/1BA is approx. 1,300 sq. ft. Water views. Nice kitchen. Family room. Screened porch. So many amenities! $129,900 (2052248) Lot Rent $689/mt.

REHOBOTH SHORES - Long Neck. 1994 2BR/2BA 14’x70’ home has a fully fenced yard. Split bedroom plan. Marina! Community pool & playground. $75,000 (2054514) Lot Rent $677/mt.

*A/C

CAP’T GRANT - Millsboro.

2002 4BR/2BA 1,404sf Class C home on 0.37 ac.

Oversized 12’x20’ shed.

Nearby marinas & 15 miles to the Rehoboth boardwalk. $314,000 (2045944)

CONCH CAYE - Milford.

1952 renovated 3BR/1BA 980sf “cottage” on 0.45 ac lot. East of Hwy 1 w/easy access to Dover & beaches. $239,000 (DEKT2021492)

Pam Schaefer 302-388-8299 cell

LOCHWOOD - Lewes.

Waterfront on Burton’s Pond.

New Construction - Immediate Delivery. 3BR/2BA 1,640sf.

LVP flooring. SS kitchen appliances. Low HOA fees. $429,900 (2049050)

IRON HORSE RANCH Lewes. +/- 2-acre lot on a p ri v a te l an e j us t o f f of Be ave r D a m Rd . Publ ic water & sewer avail (sewer impact fee already paid). $399,900 (2051768)

COLONIAL EAST - Rehoboth Beach. Remodeled 2005 3BR/2BA doublewide. Shed w/elec. Community pool. 4 miles to Rehoboth & Lewes beaches. $164,500 (2052192)

COLONIAL EAST - Rehoboth Beach. Updated 1976 3BR/1BA with screened porch Shed.

Community pool. Just 4 miles to the Rehoboth or Lewes beaches. $75,000

WHISPERING PINES - Lewes. 1985 2BR/1BA 14’x70’ w/3-season sunroom. Vaulted ceilings. “As Is.” Handicap ramp. Rear deck. Shed. Pool.

4 miles to beach. $65,000

*A/C

ANGOLA BEACH - Lewes.

2016 3BR/2BA furnished home. Irrigation system.

Community pools, marina. 10 miles to beach. $99,900

(2054396) Lot Rent $725/mt. includes water & sewer.

Lot Rent $853/mt.

(2048249) Lot Rent $619/mt.

(2050546) Lot Rent $575/mt.

20250 Coastal Highway - Suite 3, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971  302-227-1222 office www.SEABOVA.com 

EMAIL – RealEstate@SEABOVA.com

Office Independently Owned & Operated by SBA, Inc. Prices, promotions & availability subject to change without notice. *A/C Active/Under Contract -- Accepting Back-Up Offers