Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 34, No. 11

inside

THIS ISSUE

46 KESHET: The Rainbow Connection Stepping Out, Stepping Up

48 Keeping the Bubbly In… …and Getting It Out TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER 54 Opinion

MIKE BRICKNER VIENNA CAVAZOS

56 View Point Trump’s Illusory Mandate

Visiting View The Cold (Kinda) Doesn’t Bother

Thankful for Friends!

EDITOR: Marj Shannon

EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE: Matty Brown

DESIGN AND LAYOUT: Mary Beth Ramsey

ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER: Tricia Massella

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions. Email editor@camprehoboth.org. Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi). Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date. Letters to the Editor (up to 300 words) are published at the discretion of the Editor on a space-available basis. Letters may be edited for length or clarity.

DISTRIBUTION: Mark Wolf

CONTRIBUTORS: Ann Aptaker, Rich Barnett, Mike Brickner, Matty Brown, Ed Castelli, Vienna Cavazos, Pattie Cinelli, Wes Combs, Michael Cook, Je rey Dannis, Robert DeDominic, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, Bill Fuchs, David Garrett, Joe Gfaller, Glenn Lash, Leslie Ledogar, Kim Leisey, Tricia Massella, Marce McCollum-Martin, Gefen Miller, Christopher Moore, Orlando Ortega-Medina, Eric Peterson, Mary Beth Ramsey, Stephen Raskauskas, Richard Rosendall, Nancy Sakaduski, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Marj Shannon, Beth Shockley, Leslie Sinclair, Mary Jo Tarallo, Eric Wahl

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended in any way, to imply sexual orientation or gender identity. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc.

© 2024 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the

permission of the

Cape Henlopen School District: Keeping kids first. See page 44.

CAMP REHOBOTH MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE

MISSION

CAMP Rehoboth is an LGBTQ+ community center determined to Create A More Positive (CAMP) environment that is inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in southern Delaware and beyond. We seek to promote cooperation, understanding among all people, and well-being, as we continue our to work to build a safer community with room for all.

VISION

CAMP Rehoboth envisions communities in Southern Delaware and beyond where all LGBTQ+ people thrive.

PURPOSE

Promoting the health and wellness of our community through a variety of programs including HIV testing and counseling, mental health support, fitness classes, mindfulness classes, support for LGBTQ youth, and building community and support.

Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking, and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of LGBTQ people.

Advocating for our community to build a safe and inclusive community through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates.

Education and outreach to the larger community, including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of LGBTQ people and our allies.

Networking resources and information by publishing a magazine, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

HFrom the Editor

BY MARJ SHANNON, EDITOR

appy Holidays! Whatever, whenever, and however you celebrate, may you find what you are seeking—be that merriment or reverence or solace. Or all of those, or something else altogether.

We can perhaps help that—we have some great reads for the season. First up: see page 16 for a full page of Holiday Haikus. Thanks to all who contributed!

Follow up those with Christopher Moore’s holiday advice in “Just Say No(el)!” Read and heed. Nancy Sakaduski writes about Advent calendars (one of my holiday favorites), and Rich Barnett waxes poetic on fruitcake and Cher. I know— it’s an unusual pairing. Add Ed Castelli’s biscotti, and you’ve got a party. David Garrett writes about Holly (Lane), and Glenn Lash recommends some kids’ books with LGBTQ+ themes.

Several writers—not surprisingly—looked ahead to 2025 with some trepidation. Richard Rosendall, Stephen Raskauskas, Eric Peterson, Leslie Ledogar, Mike Brickner, and Vienna Cavazos offer views ranging from cautionary tales to handy how-to’s. Some likely will strike a chord or two with you.

Thankfully, amidst the challenges, there are also some terrific things to look forward to in 2025. For one, the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus will be celebrating its 15th anniversary! Read all about it in Bill Fuchs’s piece, and plan now to attend their February concert. Another: Mona Lotts will be stepping onto the Clear Space stage, first in Everybody’s Talking About Jamie. See CAMP Arts for details. And Orlando Ortega-Medina’s latest book, Emerald Road, will be released in January—read about it in The Writing Life.

Of course, there also are good things already here, in 2024: Cape Henlopen School District is implementing the HRC Foundation’s Welcoming Schools program; see page 44. And Gefen Miller, a student at Beth Tfiloh (a Modern Orthodox school in Baltimore) writes about her school’s chapter of KESHET. KESHET has given her—and all the school’s LGBTQ+ students and allies—a place to explore and celebrate their authentic selves.

PRESIDENT Wesley Combs

VICE PRESIDENT Leslie Ledogar

SECRETARY Pat Catanzariti

TREASURER Polly Donaldson

AT-LARGE DIRECTORS

Amanda Mahony Albanese, Lewis Dawley, Mike DeFlavia, David Garrett, Jenn Harpel, Kim Leisey (non-voting), Michelle Manfredi, and Teri Seaton

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Kim Leisey

CAMP REHOBOTH

37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | email editor@camprehoboth.org www.camprehoboth.org

CAMP

I’m excited to report that there’s one very good thing that arrives TODAY: Letters from CAMP Rehoboth’s very first Flash Fiction contest! See page 13 for some highlights and visit camprehoboth.org/letters for the details. There will be cash prizes, a reading, and publication of at least one winning entry. Sharpen those pencils (or fire up those keyboards) and get that short story written! ▼

OPPORTUNITY BOX R

Flash Fiction Contest: Opens TODAY (and closes February 15).

See page 13.

Valentine’s Day Message:

Send us your rhyming 2-line or 4-line entry by Friday, January 24. Make it short, make it sappy, make it fun. We’ll supply the hearts (and maybe a few flowers).

World AIDS Day

On Sunday, December 1, CAMP

Rehoboth hosted a World AIDS Day service at All Saints’ Episcopal Church in Rehoboth Beach.

This year, World AIDS Day organizers adopted the nationwide theme: Collective Action: Sustain and Accelerate HIV Progress. In that spirit, the multi-faith service featured participation from clergy of the Episcopal parish of All Saints’ Church & St. George’s Chapel, Westminster Presbyterian Church, Epworth United Methodist Church, Unitarian Universalists of Southern Delaware, Metropolitan Community Church, and Seaside Jewish Community.

CAMP Rehoboth hosted a portion of the National AIDS Memorial Quilt,

Offering Post-Election Support

Ia portion of which paid tribute to New York artist Keith Haring. Concurrently, the CAMP Rehoboth Art Gallery hosted its exhibit, Drawn Together: A Tribute to Keith Haring and AIDS Activism. Art from that exhibit is available to view through January 10, 2025.

The service also featured a time for community members to remember those lost to the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and a call to action which called for attendees to challenge misinformation, get tested regularly, and stay engaged with HIV prevention efforts. Performances by the ALLIANCE singers of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus and Pam Jusino resonated with all attendees. Jon Rania, Director of Music and Communications at All Saints’

n the wake of the recent US election, CAMP Rehoboth established a Post-Election LGBTQ+ Support Group, an inclusive space where individuals can come together, share their experiences, and find comfort and guidance with each other. The group was made possible and is led by Karen Abato (she/her), a queer, licensed counselor.

This group is open to anyone within the LGBTQ+ community who needs a space to reflect, connect, or discuss. Karen will guide conversations on how the results may impact our community, while also providing tools for coping and resilience.

The group typically meets on Wednesdays but will not meet on December 25 nor January 1. It will reconvene starting January 8 at 6:30 p.m. at CAMP Rehoboth. ▼

Help Make Strides in Pride

Missed the chance to support CAMP Rehoboth Community Center on Giving Tuesday? Fret not! There’s still an opportunity to keep making strides in pride into 2025 by making a year-end contribution.

Thanks to an anonymous donor’s matching gift, donations will have double the impact through December 31, up to $20,000. Now more than ever, it is vital to preserve affirming spaces for the LGBTQ+ community. Don’t miss this incredible chance to send CAMP Rehoboth soaring into 2025! ▼

Church, called the service “The most moving one I have ever been a part of.” The month of December is HIV/AIDS Awareness Month. Visit camprehoboth. org to learn more. ▼

Honoring Transgender Awareness Week

From

November 13-20, CAMP Rehoboth honored Transgender Awareness Week with a slate of programming that included screenings of Will and Harper and Kokomo City, with accompanying community discussions; an encore performance of Voices from Stonewall; and release of an episode of the podcast This Month in Queer History that recounted the story of Transgender Day of Remembrance and its history.

This year marked the 25th anniversary of the first Transgender Day of Remembrance on Wednesday, November 20. CAMP Rehoboth hosted an all-day vigil to honor trans siblings lost to violence in the past year. ▼

LGBTQ+ Veterans Group

CAMP Rehoboth is organizing a safe space for LGBTQ+ veteran connection and to further support the mission to promote cooperation, understanding, and well-being.

The goals of the group include: Engage and celebrate LGBTQ+ veterans, highlight local community contributions of LGBTQ+ veterans, create social connections for veteran intersectional identity, and educate the local community about veteran experiences.

Next planning meeting: Thursday, January 9, 11:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Future meetings will be monthly, exact day and time TBD. ▼

Pride In Progress: Identifying Strategic Outcomes

I

n early 2024, CAMP Rehoboth set Pride In Progress with its fiveyear strategic plan, setting four landmark goals. Through participation in the Delaware Alliance for Nonprofit Advancement’s (DANA) Accelerator Program, CAMP Rehoboth has identified strategic outcomes alongside each goal. Check out highlighted outcomes from two of our strategic plan goals below.

MAXIMIZE THE IMPACT OF OUR PROGRAMS

→ LGBTQ+ people are able to report a community of connection and belonging.

→ LGBTQ+ people have access to LGBTQ+/gender/trans-affirming medical care across the lifespan.

→ Schools in Sussex County report reduced bullying/hate for LGBTQ+ youth.

INCREASE AND BROADEN

COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT

→ LGBTQ+ unique needs and considerations are met by safety, health, education, and state employees.

→ Establish a CAMP Rehoboth satellite location for programs and community gatherings.

→ LGBTQ+-related hate crimes and acts of bias have been reduced in identified communities.

Each outcome is a measurable, actionable step toward the plan’s vision of communities in southern Delaware and beyond where all LGBTQ+ people thrive. Stay tuned for more updates related to CAMP Rehoboth’s strategic plan by visiting camprehoboth.org/ prideinprogress. ▼

GMCW Returns with “Postcards”

Trains, planes, and automobiles! Soloists from the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, DC will share hilarious and heartwarming stories and songs about the travel adventures they’ve had or hope to have, returning to the CAMP Rehoboth stage on Saturday, January 18.

Showtimes are 5:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. in the CAMP Rehoboth Elkins-Archibald Atrium. Tickets are $35, and are available online at camprehoboth.org. ▼

Women’s+ FEST 2025 Announces Headliners

Women’s+ FEST will take over Rehoboth Beach from April 10-13, 2025, and the FEST committee is working hard to make it another unforgettable year. While eagerly awaiting tickets to go on sale in February, CAMP Rehoboth is excited to announce its 2025 headliners for Women’s+ FEST: Be Steadwell and Gwen La Roka.

Be Steadwell (they, she, he, Be) is a queer pop composer and storyteller from Washington DC. Be composes songs on stage using looping, vocal layering, and beat boxing. Their original music features earnest lyricism and affirming queer content. Be’s goal as a musician is to make other Black girls, introverts, and weirdos feel seen and loved. In 2024, Be released their album Dear Ex: The Musical. When Be’s not performing, she’s also a visiting lecturer at Howard University School of Communications. Gwen La Roka is a rising star of stand-up. She hit the comedy scene with an explosive energy that quickly won the hearts of her audiences and led to performances at world-famous comedy clubs such as The Laugh Factory, Zanies, and The Improv. Her honest comedic approach, meshed with her physical humor, has crowds from all ages and backgrounds laughing at life, together.

Plus, the “plus!” Just like the “+” is often seen at the end of the LGBTQ+ acronym, here it reflects the inclusiveness of FEST. It’s one of the best events on the East Coast for women—both trans and cis, nonbinary folx, and those who live on the spectrum of the feminine spirit. Get ready to enjoy all that FEST has to offer! Want in on the fun? Find out more information about volunteering for the FEST sponsorship committee under Volunteer Opportunities on page 101. ▼

Pictured, top to bottom: Be Steadwell, Gwen La Roka

From the Executive Director

Allyship: Working With, Not For

Advocacy is important to the mission of CAMP Rehoboth.

As we move into the new year there will be a ramping-up of visible and behind-the-scenes advocacy work. Advocacy requires education. This January, we look forward to the start of educational opportunities for our members and community. Allies are important to our advocacy; the “how” of being an ally is essential to positive outcomes.

I learned a valuable lesson about allyship when working with a community in Baltimore that needed support and assistance. It was a community to which I did not belong and entering their community as an ally required awareness, intention, and humility.

In the context of today’s climate, for people who identify as LGBTQIA+, the concept of “allyship” has become increasingly important. As individuals and organizations aim to be better allies to LGBTQ+ people, it is critical to understand that true allyship is about working with communities, not for them. This nuanced approach is essential to building authentic, lasting change and fostering environments where all voices are heard and valued equally.

An ally is someone who supports and stands up for the rights of a group or community to which they do not belong. However, how allies approach this support matters deeply. The traditional notion of allyship often revolves around the idea of doing things for marginalized communities, which can unintentionally undermine the very people one aims to support.

There are potential ally pitfalls when “doing things for versus doing things with.”

• Disempowerment and Dependency: When allies focus on doing things for marginalized communities, it often leads to disempowerment.

• Loss of Authenticity: Working for others rather than with them can lead to an inauthentic approach to advocacy.

Allies may unintentionally speak over those they intend to help or assume they know what is best for a community.

• Reinforcing Power Imbalances: The idea of doing something for someone can inadvertently reinforce the power imbalances that already exist in society. When allies take on a paternalistic role, they continue to position themselves as the “helpers” or “saviors” of marginalized communities, instead of as co-collaborators.

Working with means centering the voices, needs, and leadership of the LGBTQ+ community. Here are some outcomes of this approach:

• Amplifying Voices, Not Replacing Them: Rather than speaking for them or making decisions on their behalf, allies amplify their voices, ensure they are heard, and create platforms for their ideas and solutions. This approach fosters an authentic and collaborative movement toward social change.

• Building Trust and Solidarity: True allyship is built on mutual respect and trust. When allies engage in genuine, collaborative efforts, they show that they are willing to learn from and follow the leadership of marginalized groups.

• Challenging Systemic Inequalities Together: Working with rather than for creates an environment where allies can join forces with marginalized groups to challenge the systems of oppression that affect them. This collaborative approach allows for a deeper understanding of the challenges at hand and leads to more informed, sustainable solutions.

• Education and Unlearning: Working with also means that allies engage in ongoing education and self-reflection. It requires an openness to learning something new about themselves while unlearning harmful biases and growing in their understanding of intersectionality. Allies who approach this work with a mindset of continuous learning and humility are better equipped to support marginalized communities in a meaningful way.

BY KIM LEISEY, PHD

Here are some things we can practice as allies:

• Listen Actively: One of the most important steps in working with is listening. Pay attention to the experiences, concerns, and aspirations of the communities you wish to support. Ensure that you are engaging in conversations where marginalized voices are the focus and where you are taking cues from their leadership.

• Support, Don’t Lead: Rather than leading the charge, support the leaders within marginalized communities. Offer your resources, time, and skills, but make sure the direction comes from the people directly impacted by the issues at hand.

• Raise Awareness and Advocate: Speak out against injustice and advocate for policies that promote equality and equity. And remember, this should always be done with the intent of supporting and amplifying the work already being done by those directly affected.

• Take Responsibility for Mistakes: Allies must hold themselves accountable to the communities they serve. This means being willing to accept feedback, acknowledge mistakes, and continually evaluate how their actions impact the larger movement.

• Encourage Self-Determination: Recognize that marginalized communities are capable of creating solutions to their own problems. Your role as an ally is to help create space for those solutions to emerge, rather than imposing your ideas or actions on others. ▼

Kim Leisey, PhD, is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

2 M t d a h a n k o u F o r W o n d e r f u l 2 0 4 ! a k e o u r g i f t c o u n f o r d o u b l e - d o n a t e t o d !

e l p U s T a k e S t r i d e s I n P r i d e i n 2 0 2 5 :

President’s View

Looking Back, Moving Forward

Can you believe 2025 is just a few weeks away? The older I get, the faster it seems time flies by at a breakneck speed. At this time of the year, especially in this season of giving, I take stock of all that has transpired in many aspects of my life—personally, professionally, and in my role as Board President at CAMP Rehoboth.

PERSONALLY: My overall health and wellness have been a priority this year, setting goals to lose weight and increase my cardio. My decision to add pickleball and Pilates to my existing fitness regimen seemed like a good idea at the time but a strained rotator cuff has put a pause on my pickleball career. Despite this setback, I am happy to report shedding 13 pounds over the past three months and let’s face it, I will take wins wherever I can get them these days.

PROFESSIONALLY: As an executive coach, I provide the support and insight needed for individuals to navigate the journey toward living their best life—one that is intentional, fulfilling, and impactful. For those who know me, I am passionate about giving back and being involved in organizations whose missions align with my beliefs and interests. Like many of you, I hope sharing meaningful gifts of time, energy, and/or assets will make a positive difference and be personally rewarding. This is why I decided to focus on supporting clients who are dedicated to making a meaningful difference in the world by creating intentional strategies for giving back.

CAMP REHOBOTH: In November 2023, the board approved a new fiveyear strategic plan. The plan focused on strengthening overall governance and leadership capacity, maximizing program impact, building diversified funding sources, and increasing community engagement. Late last year CAMP Rehoboth was selected to participate in the DANA Nonprofit Accelerator Program, a threeyear initiative designed to empower existing, small nonprofits to thrive and create lasting change.

According to DANA (the Delaware

Alliance for Nonprofit Advancement), “…this Program aims to break [the “Nonprofit Catch 22”] cycle by providing continuous technical assistance, coaching, connecting, and consulting to participating nonprofits.” One of the first tasks was helping the staff and board articulate measures of success for CAMP Rehoboth’s new five-year strategic plan. It is always important to have stakeholders articulate what success looks like, so all parties involved are working towards the same end point.

Diversifying a nonprofit’s funding sources—v. relying solely on a few income streams—is crucial for ensuring long-term financial stability.

I am proud to report we are making solid progress in these areas:

• Program Impact: In June 2024, Matt Castrina joined CAMP Rehoboth as its Program Manager. In this role, Matt directs the creation, design, and implementation of CAMP Rehoboth programs, services, outreach, and resources. Matt brings 25 years of experience in designing and running educational programs.

In partnership with DANA, Matt is leading the effort to assess current programs, make course corrections where needed, and develop new offerings to better support the needs of our community identified during the strategic planning process.

• Staff Leadership: During the search process for a new Executive Director in 2023, the board recognized the scope of the job was too expansive for one person. That is why the 2024 budget included funds to hire a Deputy Director who would be responsible for day-to-day operations, enabling the Executive Director to focus on implementing the strategic plan and fundraising. With more than 20 years of finance and management experience, Mark McDaniels was hired in April 2024 to serve as CAMP Rehoboth’s first Deputy Director.

BY WESLEY

• Sustainable Funding Plan: Diversifying a nonprofit’s funding sources—v. relying solely on a few income streams— is crucial for ensuring long-term financial stability. Most of CAMP Rehoboth’s income comes from our membership program and events. With only seven full-time staff, planning and executing Women’s+ FEST and SUNFESTIVAL is a herculean effort that strains these limited resources and requires scores of volunteers to be successful.

To that end, CAMP Rehoboth has hired a grant writer to tap new revenue sources, and has provided our donors with tax-saving ways to give. In November, CAMP Rehoboth offered a complimentary seminar on Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs). RMDs are withdrawals from your traditional IRA, SEP IRA, SIMPLE IRA, and retirement plan accounts that you are required to make when you reach age 72. A gift directly from your IRA to CAMP Rehoboth counts toward your RMD and is tax-free for you.

That’s not all. Development Manager Laurie Thompson will be rolling out a new planned giving program in 2025, where donors can receive charitable income tax deductions, reduce estate and gift taxes, and avoid capital gains taxes by naming CAMP Rehoboth in their wills.

Something I wrote in my May 5, 2022 column continues to ring true: “Despite the challenges organizations like CAMP Rehoboth faced over the past two years, one thing remains a constant: CAMP Rehoboth continues to be the heart of the community—literally and figuratively. What lessons did we learn from the pandemic? Navigating uncertainty requires adaptability, perseverance, collaboration and, most importantly, a strong sense of community. None of this will be possible without your continued support—which is something we do not take for granted.” ▼

Wesley

Combs is CAMP Rehoboth Board President.

Vice President’s View

Traveling Onward Safely, Together

Yes, it feels like chaos out there. Whether one looks at worldwide current events or at President-Elect Trump’s commitment to operationalizing Project 2025, including its draconian roll-back of LGBTQ+ rights and protections, the world appears unhinged; untethered.

Yet, with calamity comes opportunity. While we can and shall fight against the far right, we must recognize that constantly fighting is unhealthy and unsustainable. Therefore, we must continue to join forces with others of like mind who focus on upholding and strengthening our Constitutional rights, right here in our own community.

Our democracy was founded on the principle that government is a social compact that enables people to live together in peace. “In the early years of the American nation,” points out American historian Heather Cox Richardson in her November 30 edition of Letters from an American, “defending the rights of individuals meant keeping the government so small so that it could not crush a man through taxation or involuntary services to the government or arbitrary restrictions.”

However, Cox continues, President Abraham Lincoln realized that our government must work to guarantee that all people—not just rich White men—were equal before the law and had equal access to resources, including education. Lincoln therefore helped rework our notion of our government from the original stand against a large government into one designed to actively protect individuals by guaranteeing equal access to resources and equality before the law for White men and Black men alike.

President Theodore Roosevelt took Lincoln’s idea a step further when he embraced the notion that individuals need a well-functioning government to protect them from the excesses of a wealthy, powerful few. Thereafter, the post-World War II presidents, including Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Dwight

D. Eisenhower, and the presidents who followed them until 1981, recognized that protecting the rights of individuals in the modern era required not a weak government, but a strong one.

Unfortunately, since the 1980s, we have moved away from a defense of democracy to the concerted effort over the past 40 years to cut back on the post-World War II government. This has included sweeping cuts to regulations and to taxes on the wealthy and on corporations, always with the argument that a large government was destroying American individualism. Even though

…it is community centers like CAMP Rehoboth that allow us to navigate this part of our shared history…

the image of American Democracy as a behemoth that is undermining individual Americans is not the image on which America was founded, it is, nevertheless, the image that led voters to cheer on far-right candidates, even as those candidates vowed to cut the very services on which everyday Americans depend.

As the saying goes, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Community centers like CAMP Rehoboth occupy space that without us would be occupied by who knows what. Beyond merely occupying space, the fact that we are the sought-after experts in lived LGBTQ+ experiences stands as a testament to our strength and relevance. Our presence ensures that we serve as the bulkheads that fortify our communities against anti-Democratic forces.

Quoting from the poet Amanda Gorman, “Every day we are learning how to live with essence, not ease. How to move with haste, not hate. How to leave this pain that is beyond us, behind us.

BY LESLIE LEDOGAR

Just like a skill or any art, we cannot possess hope without practicing it. It is the most fundamental craft we demand of ourselves.”

Practicing hope means getting and staying engaged and doing whatever we can to ensure democracy survives the 2024 election and the incoming administration. As Alexander Vindman shared with attorney, historian, and commentator Joyce Vance in her November 2023 interview with him:

The most important thing we can all do is get engaged locally. Once people connect with their communities and stay engaged, they will notice that their communities are good; no one is living in a Trumpian hellscape of American decline, and it’s important to push back against this narrative. Complacency is not an option. Understand the power of your vote. If your vote wasn’t important, foreign adversaries wouldn’t be working so hard to influence [it]…. Normalize talking to your friends and acquaintances about voting and educate them on candidates and issues (emphasis added).”

We must travel through this period well and with great resolve. That is why the South Afrikaner phrase “travel onward safely” hit a chord with me. Simply saying “travel safely” is apparently not enough. Rather, they prefer to “travel onward safely,” envisioning a trip that is safe and taken purposefully into the future.

It is community centers such as CAMP Rehoboth that help assure our community thrives, and it is community centers like CAMP Rehoboth that allow us to navigate this part of our shared history by “traveling onward safely,” together. Wishing all a beautiful holiday season, and a happy new year!  ▼

Leslie Ledogar is CAMP Rehoboth Board Vice President.

Do you tinkle when you laugh, sneeze, cough, or exercise?

Do you constantly wake up at night to go to the bathroom?

Do you feel like you need to pee, but can’t go once you try?

Do you sometimes just can’t get to the bathroom quick enough?

Brandywine Urology Consultant’s Dr. Alice Y. Wang, MD, is Fellowship trained in Pelvic Medicine and Reconstructive Surgery who, depending on your symptoms, can provide a variety of treatment options ranging from lifestyle changes, minimally invasive treatments or surgical operations. Dr. Wang is accepting male and female patients in all three offices. Please contact the office today to schedule your conversation with Dr. Wang.

Brandywine Urology Consultants, Delaware’s leading urological practice, delivers comprehensive urological solutions for men and women enabling them to remain in Delaware throughout the duration of their treatment. Brandywine Urology Consultants team of Surgeons and Advanced Practice Providers specializes in urinary cancer care, reproductive and sexual health, bladder and kidney dysfunction, chronic urinary tract infections and prostate health.

Do you carry around extra underwear, just in case?

Do you notice blood in your urine?

Do you feel pain when you start to go to the bathroom?

Is your worry starting to take over your daily life?

Dr. Alice Y. Wang, MD

CAMPNews

AARP Tax Prep Returns to CAMP Rehoboth

CAMPRehoboth is once again partnering with AARP Foundation TaxAide to provide tax assistance free of charge for taxpayers. This program will be available Thursdays from 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., along with two Saturdays in March, beginning February 6 and concluding April 3. The program is open to e-file (simple) taxpayers. Taxpayers will schedule an appointment to meet with an AARP volunteer to review and submit (e-file) their tax form. Appointments will last from 30-45 minutes. All AARP Foundation Tax-Aide volunteers are trained and IRS-certified.

Starting Monday, January 13, you can schedule an appointment by calling CAMP Rehoboth at 302.227.5620 or e-mailing info@camprehoboth.org. ▼

Give the Gift of Blood

Celebrate Valentine’s Day by giving the gift of blood. CAMP Rehoboth is partnering with the Blood Bank of Delmarva to host a blood drive at the community center on Friday, February 14. This partnership followed the FDA’s lifting of its ban on donors based on sexual orientation in 2023 and comes after three historic blood drive partnerships. Register to give blood at this drive by visiting camprehoboth.org/ events. ▼

CROP Returns to Food Bank

On Tuesday, November 12, the CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) visited the Food Bank of Delaware for its bi-monthly visit. The 12-person team put together boxes that will be distributed to other food pantries and partners throughout the state. Each box weighs around 30 pounds and contains a variety of food. The team packed 142 boxes— or roughly 4,260 pounds of packaged food—in its effort to fight food insecurity in Delaware. ▼

CAMP Rehoboth Wishlist

Looking for a way to give back but not keen on just writing a check? Here’s another way to make a difference!

CAMP Rehoboth has a Wish List full of supplies and items that will help in creating a safe, vibrant space for everyone in the community. Contact Development Manager Laurie Thompson at laurie@ camprehoboth.org for specific needs. Every item counts toward making our center a welcoming home. ▼

Freedom to Be: Quilt Decorating Night

CAMP

Rehoboth is partnering with Sussex Pride on Tuesday, January 7, for the Freedom to Be: Quilt Decorating Night at Lewes Library. Freedom to Be is an ACLU-led initiative that aims to center the voices and experiences of transgender people in America. The ACLU is constructing a monument on the National Mall (to be ready by spring 2025) made up of individual quilt panels created by trans people and allies. Participants will create a smaller square to be added to other squares from Delaware to make up a six-foot by six-foot panel. To register or to find more information about this event, visit camprehoboth.org/ events. ▼

On Broadway

TheCAMP Rehoboth Chorus is celebrating its 15th anniversary season in 2025, kicking off with “On Broadway” on President’s Day (and Valentine’s Day) weekend: Friday and Saturday, February 14 and 15 at 7:00 p.m., and Sunday, February 16 at 3:00 p.m. Artistic Director Doug Yetter will take audiences through classics like Cabaret, Hair, West Side Story, The Phantom of the Opera, and many more. All performances are at Epworth United Methodist Church. Tickets are $30 for adults and $15 for students and are available at camprehoboth.org. ▼

Letters

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth Launches Its Inaugural Flash Fiction Contest

Deadline for Submissions: February 15, 2025

THE BASICS

► Original fiction, 300 to 1,000 words

► Timely submitted to flashfiction@ camprehoboth.org

► Target audience: adult or young adult readers

THE REWARDS

► Monetary awards (ranging from $1,000 to $250) to First-, Second-, and Third-place winners, plus two Honorable Mentions

► Public reading at the Elkins-Archibald Atrium, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

► Publication (First Place) in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

THE DETAILS

Go to camprehoboth.org/letters for Writers’ Guidelines

THE FINE PRINT ► Members of CAMP Rehoboth sta , its Board of Directors, or the Readers Panel are not eligible to compete.

JUST SAY NO(EL)!

Less Can Yield (a Lot) More

Here we are, once again, careening at warp speed toward another Christmas holiday. For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, it’s a dumpster fire. Regardless of how one views the season, though, the days leading to December 25 can feel like an exercise in maintaining sanity. It may also feel like a full-time job, managing schedules, expectations, and family (biological, or otherwise). It’s easy to get swept away by expectations: buy all the gifts, decorate every inch of the house, say all the right things, keep smiling, and wear that ridiculous ugly sweater or you will ruin it for everyone.

This year, I am here, like a naughty queer elf, to remind you that you can get through this holiday season by setting boundaries. Oh yes! Consider this your last-minute holiday pep-talk, urging you to reclaim some of your time, along with a little peace on earth.

It starts with acknowledging that there still are only 24 hours in a day, no matter how brutal the holiday schedule can get. It all begins so innocently: the flood of invitations for cookie swaps, socials, and dinners. It’s as if every person you’ve ever met decides this is the year to host a party. Suddenly, your calendar looks like the…well, the Nightmare Before Christmas.

What’s a person to do? It’s simple— and uncomfortable. Embrace the truth that you cannot attend every party, on every block, on every evening. This is where the art of selective RSVP’ing comes in handy. Attend the events which are low-stress and yield the most joy. Remember also that when you say “no,” you can follow it with “thank you,” with no lengthy explanation. If you choose to stay at home and watch Real Housewives, drinking Franzia and eating a box of Cheez-Its, that’s your business.

Next, there’s the politics of gift-giving. You may be that person who feels compelled to buy a present for everyone you know. You also may be the

person who feels this is a high-stakes operation, as if your entire life’s work is summed up by the J. Crew sweater you had to arm wrestle someone for at 6:00 a.m. at the outlets. This is also where boundaries, and clarity, are critical.

First, setting parameters around gift giving is not only smart, it also can reduce stress. Create a list of folks you will shop for, along with a spending limit. Be clear with those with whom you plan to exchange gifts. The rest? Write them a note in a lovely card. Second, remember, you are not defined by the gifts you give. If this were true, most of us would be fruitcakes drenched in cheap booze.

Maintaining your boundaries will help keep you grounded— and maybe even offer you something equally important: comfort and joy.

Then there’s the pressure to make everything perfect. Social media posts will be rife with staged holiday tables, crisply-wrapped presents, and friends and family sitting around having the time of their lives. Reality often looks quite a bit different.

Once again, this is where boundaries will be clutch. This time, though, it can be something you set for yourself. Not every ornament needs to match. Not every cookie needs to look like it’s been crafted by a master baker. If your holiday dinner includes a Stouffer’s lasagna instead of turkey, I say you work that frozen meal like you made it yourself, pop a gummy, and get on with your life. Finally, all this practice will help you deal with the three-ring circus which may be your family. It’s no secret that the holidays bring out the best and

BY CHRISTOPHER MOORE

worst in people, and holiday gatherings aren’t complete without interrogations, passive-aggressive walks down memory lane, and reminders of those long simmering grudges. Once again: boundaries.

If you don’t feel like exposing all of your business to your nosey relatives, answer questions like you’re in court. Or respond with “that’s a really great question…,” crack a joke, and change the topic. That razzle-dazzle I know many of you possess will override those moments. Humor, it turns out, is a great compliment to boundaries. For many years, when family or friends would ask if I were seeing anyone, my answer was always the same: “Yes, a therapist.” It always got a laugh, and was usually a great way to signal a change of topic.

The great philosopher Madonna once wrote: “Happiness lies in your own hands.” I would like to think that so, too, does the power to set boundaries. As Christmas approaches, saying “no” and preserving time and space for yourself can reduce the impacts of chaos, awkward family moments, and perhaps even that existential dread many of us feel. Maintaining your boundaries will help keep you grounded—and maybe even offer you something equally important: comfort and joy.

Rumor has it that the bearded dude from the North Pole has also gotten hip to this messaging, so don’t be surprised if on Christmas eve, off in the distance, you hear sleigh bells and this jolly refrain: “No-No-No! Merry Christmas!” ▼

Christopher Moore is Interim Executive Director of AIDS Delaware. He loves NPR, naughty jokes, and a man who lives in Toronto. Email him at moore.cc@gmail.com.

Holiday Haiku

HOLIDAY HAIKU 1

Will I ever get all the dishes done? Not in December, I won’t.

– Heather Rion Starr

HOLIDAY HAIKU 2

Look look, you must look! Up in the deepest blue sky Red, white a red nose.

– Bob Mancuso

HOLIDAY HAIKU 3 | PARTY HAIR

Tinsel me up, hon Use hairdresser know-how to Brighten my spirit!

– Nancy Commisso

HOLIDAY HAIKU 4 | MOM IN HEAVEN

Big orange moon up high Opens a hole in the sky I see you shine through.

– Nancy Commisso

HOLIDAY HAIKU 5 | LOVE LOST

A red leaf lands here

The color of my heart and A thought of you, still.

– Nancy Commisso

HOLIDAY HAIKU 6

Turkey, pie, no you

Prime rib and gifts not received No new year again

– Kevin Ayers

HOLIDAY HAIKU 7

Love my family Christmas extravaganza Happy cousins swarm.

– Maryanne Fello

HOLIDAY HAIKU 8

Holidays are near Bringing lots of joy and cheer Before a dark year

– Jorie K

HOLIDAY HAIKU 9

Happy holidays

Except to the MAGA mob— Too many Scrooges.

-Richard Rosendall

HOLIDAY HAIKU 10

What is this present Wrapped under the Christmas tree? My love, in a dream.

-Richard Rosendall

HOLIDAY HAIKU 11

Heigh, ho – mistletoe! Jingle bells and fa-la-la Come we caroling.

-Marj Shannon

HOLIDAY HAIKU 12

The coming darkness Will not resolve with just a Seasonal solstice.

-Jorie K

HOLIDAY HAIKU 13

The solar panels, Shingles that were just replaced, Santa, be careful!

-Nancy Sakaduski

HOLIDAY HAIKU 14

Frosted glass snow kissed Apron worn with cookie dough New England Christmas

-Kim Leisey

HOLIDAY HAIKU 15 | FRUITCAKE

Brick of boozy cheer— Jokes abound, but I adore Your dense, sweet embrace.

-Rich Barnett

HOLIDAY HAIKU 16

Holiday haiku

Just be funny! Sounds easy… Letters deadline looms.

-Nancy Sakaduski

HOLIDAY HAIKU 17

We dragged home a tree But no it wasn’t to be We’re Jewish, you see.

-Sherry Berman

HOLIDAY HAIKU 18

Marzipan, coffee, Chocolate, and peppermint. Nutcracker flavors.

-Marj Shannon

HOLIDAY HAIKU 19

The air fresh and crisp Ne’er a sound to be heard Snow is on the way

-Marty Durkin

THE POWER OF SONG

BY BILL

CAMP Rehoboth Chorus Celebrates 15 Years

SERENDIPITY. It was late in 2009, and our own raconteur extraordinaire, Fay Jacobs, had another idea. She visited Steve Elkins at CAMP Rehoboth and said, “We should have a chorus!” Why? “We should have a gay chorus to introduce people to our community and help spread the word about gay rights. A chorus would be a great way to do that and be an advocate for the gay community.” Steve looked at Fay and said, “Do it!”

Fay walked across the street to get her hair done and sat in a chair next to Bill McManus, an acquaintance who lived in Rehoboth Beach with his partner, David Nelson. Fay asked Bill, “Do you know a good musician who would be the musical director of a new chorus? I’m the artistic director.” Bill responded, “Me.” At the time, Fay had not known that Bill had an extensive history of studying voice, singing with the Madrigals, conducting, and teaching music. Bill remarked later, “I am grateful that Fay and I happened to be having our hair done that day. Who knows what would have happened if we had not had that clandestine meeting in the salon?”

BUILDING A CHORUS. Fay and Bill did not have to search far for an accompanist. Fay had just completed a run of Nunsense, with Dave Zipse proving the accompaniment. Dave was known as an accomplished master of the piano; he had a degree in music composition and experience in stage productions, solo performances, and as a music director and accompanist. Dave welcomed the opportunity to become the Collaborative Artist and Accompanist for what was to become the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus. “It’s a great group of people, making great music, under a great director,” Dave remarks. “What’s not to love?” Fay knew some singers who had been involved in the Clear Space Chorus, a group directed by Doug Yetter that had recently disbanded. Those singers were eager to sing again and formed the nucleus of the new CAMP Rehoboth Chorus. The message went out and the chorus welcomed new members, regard-

less of ethnicity, age, gender, or sexual orientation. The chorus held rehearsals at CAMP, and Barb Ralph served as the chorus manager. Tenor Linda DeFeo remembers, “I was out with some friends, and someone mentioned that Fay wanted to start a chorus at CAMP. I said I loved to sing but had not been in a chorus since high school. Patti Magee said I shouldn’t let that stop me and encouraged me to join, so I did.”

Bill McManus remembers, “We started off with fairly easy arrangements and then took on more challenging pieces. We started off with two-part harmonies, moved onto three parts, and eventually moved on to four-part pieces. I will never forget the excitement of the very first concert.” Fay remarked that “Bill took fledgling voices and turned them into something really good—and a lot of fun!”

THE FIRST CONCERT. The theme of the first concert, held at Clear Space Theater in January 2010, was “Room for All!” Eric Peterson—author, contributor to Letters, and member of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington—was Master of Ceremonies. Steve Elkins, Glen Pruitt, and

John Hulse opened the show wearing tutus and performing “Bosom Buddies.”

Twenty-five singers performed. The show opened with Cole Porter’s “Anything Goes,” and featured a variety of tunes from Broadway, Elvis Presley, Josh Groban, and Pete Seeger. The closer was Steven Rickards’ “The Power of Song,” which became the chorus’s anthem sung at every outreach event. Barb Ralph reflected, “It really meant something.”

Dottie Cirelli and her mother attended the first concert and were so impressed—“Oh my gosh! They’re so good, I think this would be a lot of fun!”—that Dottie joined the chorus immediately and performed in the next concert. She remains a member of the alto section.

OUTREACH. From the chorus’s earliest days, outreach to the community at large was an important part of its mission. The first such event was singing at the World AIDS Day remembrance. The chorus sang at the Rehoboth Beach Christmas Tree Lighting and joined CAMP’s prize-winning float in the Christmas parade. Volunteers from the chorus (and later, The Ensemble) sang at

“It’s a great group of people, making great music, under a great director…”

From the chorus’s earliest days, outreach to the community at large was an important part of its mission.

venues as varied as nursing homes and assisted living facilities, Senator Carper’s Toys for Tots Christmas event, Pride events throughout Delaware, flashmobs at Freeman Foundation fundraisers, and Martin Luther King remembrances. Tenor Jill Stokes, a former teacher who has been a member of the chorus since the beginning, loves to sing and especially appreciates the outreach that the chorus has done through the years.

THE EARLY YEARS. The second concert, “Strike Up the Band,” featuring many World War II vintage songs, proved enormously successful and cemented the chorus’s standing in the community.

Soprano Gladys Ward, also a 15year veteran of the chorus, remembers singing some West Side Story songs with invited guest singers at one concert. Observers from an outside granting agency were present and remarked, “You don’t need them. You’re good on your own.”

THE YETTER YEARS. After three years, Fay and Bill moved on and the baton was handed to Doug Yetter. Doug, who still is the Artistic Director, had decades of experience in the arts as a composer, actor, director, conductor, producer, and arranger. The chorus continued to grow in size and performance level in his capable hands. By the chorus’s 10th anniversary, in 2019, it had grown to 90 singers.

Two years after Doug Yetter came on board, he selected a small group of auditioned singers who could respond to requests for performances at public and private events and who had enough scheduling flexibility to be available for daytime events. For most of its existence, this group was named “The Ensemble”; the group is now known as “The ALLIANCE Singers.”

In 2016, Larry Rosen and Barry Bugg became the production and stage managers for the chorus. They had recently retired to Rehoboth and brought with them their wealth of experience from performing those duties with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Wahington. Larry manages the many facets of stage production—costuming, props, placement, and thousands of details—while Barry works with lights and sound to produce fabulous effects.

THEN THE PANDEMIC STRUCK. The chorus had for many years performed one major concert event each year, usually on Presidents’ Day weekend, and an encore outreach performance at another location. In 2019, the chorus scheduled two major concerts, one in February and one in June. However, the COVID pandemic struck, and concerts were cancelled for two years. Just when the skies were brightening in the fall of 2021, the chorus began rehearsing for the February show, only to cancel again, delaying the planned concert to May 2022.

Jeff Buhrman joined the chorus as Assistant Director/vocal coach after the pandemic. He brought considerable experience gained from a 25-year career as a high school teacher and choral director and from his work with the LGBTQIA+ choral movement. He was the Artistic Director of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington and Voices of Kentuckiana before retiring to Rehoboth Beach. Jeff says, “The chorus has surprised me with its robust vocal quality and showmanship.”

Today, the chorus numbers 118 singers, and is the largest chorus on the Delmarva Peninsula. The group performs two full chorus concerts a year; a third concert features the ALLIANCE Singers.

REFLECTIONS. Alto Judy Olsen, a 15year member, always looks forward to the

first rehearsal for a new show. “Everyone is happy and enthusiastic about the start of a new program and concert. It’s just a warm, wonderful group of people.”

Jill loves the “audience enthusiasm and applause.” Linda loves that “I have made some fantastic new friends.” Barb reflects on the chorus history, “We all wanted to make it happen!” And every member “loves to sing!”

THE ROAD AHEAD. CAMP Rehoboth Chorus’s next concert features some of the best of Broadway, with medleys from Phantom of the Opera and Jersey Boys, soaring ballads from Man of LaMancha and Les Misérables, fun sing-alongs from Aquarius and Mamma Mia!, and other favorites. Performances of “On Broadway” will be Friday and Saturday, February 14 and 15, at 7:00 p.m., and Sunday, February 16, at 3:00 p.m. All performances will be at Epworth United Methodist Church. Tickets are available at camprehoboth. org, $30 for adults and $15 for students.

The summer concert over Fathers’ Day weekend will feature “Magic from Motown!” ▼

Thanks to Fay Jacobs, Bill McManus, and the 15-year chorus veterans for their contributions.

Bill moved to Rehoboth Beach with his husband Gerry from Washington, DC, 10 years ago. He has two adult children and two grandchildren, including a transgender grandson.

Photos by Tom Iarossi

Pictured: opposite page Doug Yetter. Above, L-R: Fay Jacobs, Bill Fuchs, Barb Ralph, Dottie Cirelli, Gladys Ward, Judy Olsen, Jill Stokes, Linda DeFeo.

CAMPsafe Serves Our Community

Get Tested for Syphilis in 2025

The holidays are upon us and the new year is fastapproaching. Beginning in January, CAMPsafe will be expanding our services to include rapid syphilis testing. With results in as little as 15 minutes, this new service will be available at no cost within our on-site health suite, offering a convenient and confidential way for our community to take control of their sexual health.

Syphilis is a serious, yet treatable, infection that often goes unnoticed due to its subtle symptoms. By incorporating rapid syphilis testing, CAMPsafe aims to empower the community with the knowledge to prevent further transmission and ensure early treatment. This service will be offered alongside our existing sexual health resources, including HIV testing, counseling, and PrEP referral. As always, CAMPsafe remains committed to offering community health services in a welcoming, non-judgmental environment.

This New Year, we are enhancing our mission to provide accessible and stigma-free healthcare within our community. Stay tuned for more details and prepare to take charge of your health in 2025!  ▼

Vincent DeLissio is the CAMPsafe Program Coordinator at CAMP Rehoboth.

PREVENT HIV, SYPHILIS, & MPOX

Free, rapid, walk-in syphilis and HIV testing and counseling is available in the CAMP Rehoboth Health Suite.

NOTE: CAMP Rehoboth (including the Health Suite) will be closed December 23-January 1 for the holidays. Services will resume in January as noted below.

CAMP Rehoboth

37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE Tel: 302-227-5620

health+wellness

Grow Old Along with Me

Thinking about and making decisions regarding long-term health and care is a stressful but crucial topic for anyone to tackle—and I am speaking from experience.

Not trying to be a “Debbie Downer,” but my partner of 25 years recently passed away after a valiant battle with Alzheimer’s. The journey Linda and I took was a real wake-up call. It is NEVER too early to research what resources are available as we age. Linda and I investigated quite a few of them.

Liz Miller, LCSW, has some advice for those grappling with aging issues. Miller is a licensed clinical social worker with years of experience in the field of aging. She currently offers grief counseling therapy under the auspices of Serenity Counseling.

“Take the time to plan and look into all of the options, as there are still a lot of misconceptions about qualifying for care,” she says. “Decide whether you or a loved one want to remain at home or if a better option is assisted living, independent living, or a skilled facility. If the plan is to remain at home, it is important to safeguard the layout of the home and identify a caregiver who is not only willing but ABLE to provide care.” She says she has met many over the years who want to be able to care for their loved one(s) but cannot manage it—emotionally, mentally, or even physically.

Deciding to age outside one’s home can mean researching a daunting list of options. “Facilities often have waitlists” says Miller. “Keeping that in mind is important because you may need to move sooner than expected if it means getting a place at your preferred location.”

She advocates making a plan B, and maybe even a plan C, since it is always easier to have an idea in mind versus having to make a decision during a period of crisis. Completing advance directives and power of attorney forms are key if decision-making is problematic.

In Delaware those documents do not always require involvement of an attorney. There are state-approved directive forms that just need to be witnessed, and

the power of attorney needs a witness and notary. Also consider completing a DMOST (Delaware Measures for Scope of Treatment). The DMOST is a onepage form that is considered an order; it requires the signature of a healthcare professional (physician, advance practice registered nurse, or physician’s assistant), as well as the signature of the patient (or authorized representative). In a crisis, it will help guide 911 first responders who will not have time to read through an advance directive.

There is a lot of research supporting the value of regular exercise, especially walking…. [M]aintaining muscle is [also] important.”

Lewes resident Connie Fox is a good example of planning ahead. She and her wife chose a “hybrid program” called Springpoint Choice, offered by The Moorings. After completing her PhD at the University of Georgia, she did post-doctoral work in gerontology.

“My mother lived in memory care for 3.5 years at the Moorings, and they were exceptional,” she said. “Then I found the Springpoint Choice program, which provides help to stay in our own home as we age. They will help with activities of daily living until you really can’t live at home anymore, then you move into the Moorings. Once you move in, your monthly home care costs remain the same.”

Fox says that falling and lack of exer-

BY MARY JO TARALLO

cise are common reasons for a decline in health. She has some advice to counteract the aging process. “There is a lot of research supporting the value of regular exercise, especially walking, in maintaining memory,” she said. “As we age, we lose muscle mass, making us unsteady. That also makes it harder to open jars, for example, so maintaining muscle is important. Weight training with low impact activities is important. Cardio is good if there is no underlying condition preventing exertion.”

Exercise and socialization opportunities abound in Sussex County. Fitness centers such as 24-hour Fitness and Midway Motion and Fitness Center are loaded with exercise and weight training equipment.

Midway membership is free for those who have the AARP United Healthcare Medicare Advantage plan, according to staffer Kelly Long. “We have about 2,000 members and about 75 percent are seniors,” he said. The facility is about to expand significantly with a new building that will house 18-24 pickleball courts and a large aerobics room. Midway is also adding programs such as a book club and walking group.

CAMP Rehoboth offers several programs and resources related to maintaining one’s health and specifically targeting the LGBTQ+ community. These include balance, yoga, tai chi, and meditation classes; other health-related resources are offered as well. In October, CAMP hosted a panel discussion on “Aging in Place” and is considering other, similar educational programs.

For those who have lost a loved one, CAMP Rehoboth has partnered with Delaware Hospice to offer an LGBTQ+ bereavement group on the first Wednesday of each month until May 2025. The group meets from 6:30-8:30 p.m. in the Elkins-Archibald Atrium.

Women in Circle is a gathering of LGBTQ+ women who want to meet, connect, and share information—on a variety of topics—with other women. They meet on the first and third Saturdays of each month at 10:00 a.m. at the Atrium.

Sussex Pride also focuses on the

LGBTQ+ community and offers many suggestions on events and activities that pertain to a healthy lifestyle, including socialization.

The well-established Gay Women of Rehoboth (gaywomenofrehoboth.org) already addresses the issue of social isolation by providing a myriad of events and activities on its Meet Up page.

Village Volunteers (villagevolunteer. org) offers various services for seniors, at home or elsewhere, such as transportation to medical appointments, grocery stores, banks, or other places of business. They also provide respite for caregivers, home maintenance, help with technology, and friendly calls or visits.

Services are limited to two-hour segments, though transportation services may take a little longer, according to executive director Anna Mosher. Her advice? “Stay engaged with others, make sure your home is safe to live in, and stay on top of preventive care.”

Village Volunteers in Lewes serves Lewes, Milton, Rehoboth Beach, and Dewey Beach. South Coastal Village Volunteers serves Bethany Beach, Millville, Ocean View, and South Bethany. Full membership includes access to all services and programs. Subsidized memberships are available to lower income families based on documented need.

Several CHEER (Senior) Centers (cheerde.com) are sprinkled throughout Sussex County in Georgetown, Lewes, Milton, Greenwood, Long Neck, Millsboro, and Frankford. Each center has a full staff including a center director, kitchen manager, and outreach worker.

CHEER Centers offer drop-in programs such as cards, bingo, arts and crafts, Bible study, two membership dinners, discounts on trips and tours, free screenings, lectures and educational seminars, general entertainment and games, fitness rooms, and access to CHEER’s Caregiver Resource Library and referral services. A

single membership (which covers access at all seven centers) is $30 annually. No membership is required for participation in center meal programs.

The Lewes Senior Activity Center (lewesseniorcenter.org) and the Cape Henlopen Senior Center (capehenlopenseniorcenter.org) each offers a multitude of programs and services, including exercise classes, day trips, and socialization activities.

Golden Gay Girls Villages (3G Villages; not affiliated with Village Volunteers) is just getting off the ground. It specifically targets gay women, age 55 and older. It is the brainchild of Phyllis Dillinger and Rachel Higgs; Rachel passed away last spring from cancer, but Phyllis is moving forward with developing 3G Villages.

Currently Phyllis, who spent the latter part of her career in the senior/aging sector, is seeking additional funding and support for 3G Villages. “Right now, we need to build out a solid volunteer base to run the organization and to attract senior retired executive women who have extensive experience in the aging field for board positions,” she says.

Dillinger recently unveiled the results of a needs survey the organization distributed to 250 women. Seventy-one (28 percent) responded. Respondents’ top three designated needs were exercise programs to keep moving, combating social isolation as they age, and maintaining emotional well-being while growing older.

Meal on Wheels is probably one of the best-known organizations serving individuals whose diminished mobility makes it challenging for them to shop for food or prepare meals. Typically, the program serves adults aged 60 and older, though age requirements can vary among programs.

The Delaware Aging and Disability Resource Center (delawareadrc.com) is an excellent place through which to identify health care resources. The Center is

LET’S STAY CONNECTED!

health+wellness

a service of the Delaware Department of Health and Human Services and includes a Guide to Services for Older Adult Delawareans and Persons with Disabilities, a call center with staff available to answer questions and provide information, a website to locate services in each county, and counselors to provide personalized assistance.

Two of the more common ailments seniors face are Alzheimer’s/dementia and Parkinson’s. The Alzheimer’s Association is an excellent resource for those dealing with this disease or other forms of dementia. The Parkinson’s Foundation offers a wealth of information to help people understand the symptoms of and treatments for the disease, and how to cope.

Additional web sites worth researching are AgingCare.com, CARE.com, and APlaceforMom.com.

Aging is not for the faint of heart; neither is aging in place. But the chances of achieving both can often be optimized through researching the options, planning for eventualities, committing to lifestyle and/or household modifications that accommodate changing capacities—and enjoying just a bit of good luck. ▼

Mary Jo Tarallo is a former journalist and public relations professional for various non-profits including a ski industry trade association. She won a Gold Award for a United Way TV program starring Oprah Winfrey.

Youth Crisis Support: Crisis intervention services for children under 18. Parents and caregivers are connected to a crisis clinician. Available 24/7. Call 800-969-4357 or text DE to 741-741.

988: Free, confidential support and resources for anyone in distress. Available 24/7. Call 988.

Delaware Hope Line: Free coaching and support. Links to mental health, addiction, and crisis services. Available 24/7. Call 833-9-HOPEDE (833-946-7333).

All of CAMP Rehoboth’s programs, services, and events are listed here: camprehoboth.org/community-calendar. Please visit the site often to ensure you have up-to-date information on what is being offered—and when. ▼

A LONG AND WINDING ROAD

The Paper Chase

As 2025 arrives, CAMP Rehoboth member Bashir Amanat will be feeling especially celebratory: On August 6, 2024, Bashir took his oath as a United States citizen. This proud, new American reports, “Now, I feel as though I truly belong in the US. This now is HOME. I used to feel reserved and guarded. Now, I feel open.”

Bashir’s journey to citizenship began after his graduation from high school in Kabul, Afghanistan, when he received a scholarship to study in India. There, he completed bachelor’s and master’s degrees in political science and personnel management, respectively.

Returning to Kabul, his education and significant language skills (he speaks Farsi, Pasho, Urdu, Hindi, and English) enabled him to begin working in the IT departments of organizations such as the US Agency for International Development, and the US Embassy. As an embassy employee, he knew he’d be eligible, after two years of employment, to apply for an “SIV”—a special immigration visa. He planned to do exactly that.

After a year with the embassy, Bashir decided to vacation in the US. He secured a tourist visa, valid for about a year, and on January 26, 2016, he arrived in the US. His visits to friends took him to Honolulu, then to Texas, and finally to New York City, his departure point for his trip home to Kabul. But in NYC, he had a change of heart and applied for asylum.

Thus began the paper chase that would engage him for eight years. Those years would include work permits, green cards, and an application for citizenship.

Fortunately, on the professional and personal fronts, there were successes along the way. In 2017, he secured an

…[he] applied for asylum. Thus began the paperchase that would engage him for eight years.

IT job in northern Virginia, followed by a job with the Department of Forensic Sciences in Washington, DC. And in May 2017, he met Gary Seiden; they married in November 2018.

BY MARJ SHANNON

Then life happened. Four months later, Gary was diagnosed with liver cancer (he had a successful liver transplant in July 2020), and things became somewhat chaotic. Then COVID came along. They moved to Rehoboth full time.

He applied to have the “condition” on his green card removed—a process usually requiring fi ve to six months to complete. But when Bashir was called in August 2023 for an interview related to his citizenship application, the removal of the green card condition still was pending.

A few months later, his efforts (and persistence) finally were rewarded, and he received a 10-year green card. In July 2024 his citizenship application was approved and in August he travelled to Philadelphia to take his oath as a citizen. Within just a few weeks, he received his US passport.

As well as simply (finally!) feeling at home, Bashir notes another advantage of citizenship: “I now can easily travel!” His US passport already has allowed him to visit three of his siblings, whom he had not seen for almost 10 years, in Finland, Sweden, and Germany. As he and Gary love to travel, he especially treasures this new-found freedom to easily do so.

Happy New Year, Bashir! ▼

windsor's 28-02_windsor's 14-15.qxd 3/30/2018 2:26 PM Page 1

20326 Coastal Highway • Rehoboth Beach, DE (Next to Arena’s Café) 302-227-9481

Marj Shannon is editor of Letters from CAMP Rehoboth.

Reflections

Going Inward in the New Year

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my 2025 to be like. I’ve already begun formulating my New Year’s resolutions. I’m throwing out useless emotions. Worry, anger, fear, and guilt are what have been plaguing me most of my life and it’s time they stay behind in 2024.

Wasted years spent on New Year promises to lose weight, exercise more, eat healthier, save more money, or some other pledge—abandoned within the first month of the new year—taught me to stop fooling myself. Instead, I have decided to work on trashing emotions that long ago lost their purpose.

Not only do these feelings deplete my energy but they can also cause negative physical reactions like increased heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, trembling, nausea, and headaches. They can also lead to muscle tension, fatigue, and trouble sleeping, and can make it difficult to concentrate.

Worry and fear focus on the future, and guilt and anger focus on the past. None affects either outcome. When these emotions initially manifest, they can help move me into a positive action. But when I hang onto them like a life raft, I say things I don’t mean; I feel sick and unsettled.

I’ve started to check in with my body when I notice emotional tension. This awareness shifts me to present thoughts. It helps me avoid any knee-jerk reaction to what I perceive is going on. Remembering whatever is causing my blood to boil is usually not about me but about the other person, can calm me. I also am learning the power in staying quiet instead of reacting.

An eighth century Buddhist sage, Shantideva, once said, “If the problem can be solved, why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good.” Worrying is one of those emotions that sneaks up on me and settles comfortably on my chest. If I let it take over, it moves easily into my gut where it swirls and twirls and settles until I can no longer think clearly. Recognizing its uselessness

is the first step in letting it go.

For a long time, I thought I was doing well because I’d only allow my anger to emerge in the privacy of my car. But when I started yelling at other drivers, I

I have decided to work on trashing emotions that long ago lost their purpose.

realized I did not feel better, and it did not change them. The aggravation I was feeling triggered my flight or fight response and released my stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Being angry can affect my heart, my digestion, and my concentration.

According to Psychology Today, behind every disturbing emotion is a disturbing thought. These thoughts can contain logical flaws or distortions, such as being too harsh on yourself, exaggerating the importance of negative events, and focusing only on the negatives. Merely thinking something doesn’t make it so.

I’m tired of blurting out stuff that is a response to my guilt, fear, anger, or worry.

BY PATTIE CINELLI

Feeling sorry for myself has gotten very old. In 2025, I don’t want to do anything I don’t want to do or go anywhere I don’t want to go out of a sense of obligation or because “I should.” It’s a challenge to stop the self-talk that can work me into a frenzy.

While hope may not be an emotion, it’s another way of thinking that I’m kicking to the curb. Feeling hopeful sets me up for disappointment. If what I expect doesn’t occur (which has been often the case) I’m upset. I lived much of my life hoping, then feeling disappointed or betrayed when things did not work out. With no expectations, I can be content with whatever happens.

A wise teacher once said clarity comes from honest assessment. I want that clarity next year. I want to feel grounded and calm. Most of all, I want to continue to have fun whatever I am doing. Recognizing and letting go of emotions that don’t enhance my life makes it easier to achieve my goal.

By taking this inner-healing approach instead of trying to change things outside of me, I look forward to a year of living in the present, staying grounded, and increasing my inner resilience. It doesn’t mean these emotions won’t pop up on a regular basis, but when they do, I don’t want to stay in that uncomfortable-feeling place for long. Once I recognize where I am and believe I can feel differently by looking at a situation in a different way, my thoughts can shift and I can feel better.

The poem “If,” by Rudyard Kipling, reminds me that how I feel is ultimately in my control no matter what is going on outside of me. Letting go of useless worry, guilt, anger, and fear leaves room for more joy and fun. Trusting myself, listening to my gut, and embracing silence instead of reacting has already made me feel more powerful and happier. ▼

Pattie Cinelli is a writer and a holistic health & fitness professional. Email her with questions or column ideas to: fitmiss44@aol.com

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DAY BY DAY

Advent Calendars

No matter what your religious bent (or lack thereof), there’s a lot to love about a December countdown that gives you a treat each day as the year plods toward its end.

The concept of Advent dates to the fourth century. Scholars believe that the period was originally a season of preparation for the baptism of new Christians at the Feast of Epiphany (which coincides with my birthday—PM me for gift ideas). It gradually became associated with the coming of Christ, and by the Middle Ages was explicitly linked to Christmas.

The Advent calendar concept originated in Germany in the 1800s, starting as a boring, no-treat countdown with chalk marks on a wall or straws in a Nativity crib. The first known wooden Advent calendar appeared in 1851, followed by Christmas clocks and Christmas candles. German publisher Gerhard Lang created a printed Advent calendar, inspired by the memory of his mother sewing 24 cookies into the lid of a box and allowing him to eat one each day of Advent. This, in my opinion, makes her the real inventor of the Advent calendar, especially since it took Lang until the 1920s to add doors that open, let alone cookies.

Most modern Advent calendars are made of paper and feature glitter-strewn scenes with numbered flaps that are opened each day in December as a countdown to Christmas. But innovation (and a healthy dose of capitalism) has led to the creation of an astonishing variety of Advent calendars, with prices ranging from a few bucks to $10.3 million (daily trinkets included brands such as Cartier, Chanel, and Ferrari).

One can now find Advent calendars with themes as different as chalk and cheese (make that chocolate and cheese). From pious to profane, Advent calendar themes now include hot sauces, wine, jellybeans, Barbie, screwdrivers (the tool, not the drink), fly fishing, gemstones, beef jerky, and the Grinch (think that one through for a minute). There are even Advent calendars

for dogs and cats (thanks, Trader Joe’s). Electronic greeting card maven Jacquie Lawson offers a (some say sweet, others say saccharine) downloadable Advent calendar that includes games, activities, and music (jacquielawson.com) featuring a different location each year (2024 is Paris).

Advent calendars have been made in Germany since the 1800s. This Advent calendar was manufactured during the US occupation in the late 1940s (collection of the author).

Here are the oddest Advent calendars I was able to find, followed by ideas for creating your own.

TOP 5 UNUSUAL ADVENT CALENDARS

1. Beard Oil Advent Calendar (thebeardedmancompany.com)

2. Sex Toy Advent Calendar (lovehoney.co.uk)

3. Shocking Science Tricks Advent Calendar (Amazon.com)

4. Pork Crackling Advent calendar (snafflingpig.co.uk)

5. Gruesome Christmas Anti-Advent Calendar (sadly, no longer available): daily “misfortune cookies,” each with a message such as, “I hope you’ve got pets. Because you haven’t got any friends.” (clergyconfidential.com)

MAKE YOUR OWN ADVENT CALENDAR

⊲ Mildly Ambitious. Fill 24 paper cups with treats. Cut large circles from green or red tissue paper (or paper napkins)

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

and label each one with a number from one to 25. Cover each filled cup with one of the numbered circles and secure with a rubber band. (If you want to get fancy, arrange them in the shape of a Christmas tree and glue them to a board.) Punch through the paper to get the daily treat.

Visit the local craft store for interesting containers such as jars, boxes, or Chinese takeout containers. Have at it with paint, markers, glitter, stickers, etc.

Seek out Debbie Shore’s Sew Advent Calendars, (Search Press, 2017) for 20 marvelous designs to fill with festive treats. There are also many clever ideas on Pinterest and Etsy.

⊲ Hmmm, Something Easier? Clip or tie small, numbered gift/treat bags (such as those found in dollar stores) along a clothesline or rope (hung vertically or horizontally).

Repurpose a hanging shoe bag (hopefully one that is smell-free) by labeling each shoe opening with a number.

⊲ Let’s Get This Job Done. Place numbered cups (red Solo cups work well) upside down along a shelf or mantle (each with a treasure underneath).

Number festive envelopes containing messages or tiny treats.

IDEAS FOR ADVENT CALENDAR CONTENTS.

The possibilities are endless! Try: candy (especially retro varieties), nail polishes, tea bags or coffee pods, date night ideas, tiny toys or party favors, small jewelry items, novelty socks, small soaps or lotions, lipsticks or lip balms, poems or jokes, gourmet treats, day trip ideas, stickers or temporary tattoos, pins or badges, mini-ornaments, packs of garden seeds, IOUs or favor coupons, mini-condiments or spice packages. ▼

Nancy Sakaduski has been collecting antique Christmas books and ephemera for decades. Items from her collection have been used on loan by Winterthur to help bring life to rooms on their Yuletide tours.

Queer pop artist and storyteller from Washington, DC

LISTEN! To the moving music of Be Steadwell! LAUGH!

Gwen La Roka at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center! PLAY!

Golf, pickleball, bike ride, cornhole, bowling, and more!

GWEN LA ROKA Stand-up comedian

BOOK YOUR STAY! Visit camprehoboth.org for hotel discounts when you call in and mention “Women’s+ FEST” at your booking.

DANCE!

Thursday Georgette Krenkel’s Kick Off Party, and Saturday night dance!

EXPERIENCE!

The speaker series and author showcase returns TBA!

DISCOVER!

Popular craft expo, bingo, singles mixer, art show, and more!

PLUS “+”

FEST is one of the best events on the East Coast for women, both trans and cis, nonbinary folks, and those that live on the spectrum of the feminine spirit.

For more information about Women’s+ FEST and accessibility information, visit camprehoboth.org.

To learn about sponsorship opportunities, contact Laurie Thompson at laurie@camprehoboth.org.

It’s My Life

Until Then We’ll Have to Muddle Through Somehow

Idon’t know about the rest of y’all, but 2024 was not the year I expected it to be.

Although I try not to fall into the end-of-year review trap, it inevitably happens. When you’ve grown up with the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions, it’s almost impossible not to do it. Plus, December always brings the best-of and worst-of lists for every conceivable medium. And now we have Spotify telling us our most-listened-to artists (mine was Ella Fitzgerald) and Duolingo informing us just how much, or little, time we spent learning how to say “the cheese is warm” in Norwegian.

So here I sit at the end of the year, looking back and wondering how the days passed so quickly and how very little they looked the way I thought they might. For one thing, I wrote no new books this year. Instead, I spent most of my time forming a nonprofit and working to purchase and reopen the building housing our village’s only restaurant. This time last year, that storefront was empty and shuttered, and I vaguely thought it would be nice if someone managed to get it open again. Then, despite having no idea how it would happen, I decided that person should be me. After numerous false starts and stops, and many sleepless nights, we closed on that building in October. This week, I hung Christmas lights in those previously empty windows, and on the winter solstice we’ll host a party for the village there.

In July, I had another cardiac event, my second. This time, I knew what was happening and what to expect, so it wasn’t quite as unsettling as the first one was. But it resulted in a lot of additional testing and talk about the possibility of stents or a pacemaker or other physical intervention. The lingering effects are noticeable, and reminders that bodies age and that I physically can’t do as much as I used to or want to.

Perhaps most important to me, I didn’t think that this holiday season would be our first without our beloved dog Greta. But she passed unexpectedly at the end of July, leaving an empty space in our lives. Then, even more unexpectedly, a chance viewing of a friend-of-afriend’s post on Facebook in September

…muddling often takes you on more interesting adventures and yields unexpected but rewarding results.

connected me with an elderly dog whose owner’s death had put him in a precarious situation. A week later, thanks to a successful crowdfunding effort and the help of a friend who is involved with dog rescue, I was in Florida meeting Bear and bringing him home. It’s already difficult to imagine life without him in our family, or even to remember a time when he wasn’t here. And while his age and some health issues mean we don’t know how many more holidays we’ll have with him, his arrival was a wonderful surprise in a year that had some less pleasant ones for us.

Listing the positive and negative things that came along in 2024 is a mixed experience. It makes me feel like very little happened; that almost nothing was accomplished on my end, at least as far as what I thought I would get done goes. But the things that were achieved also feel huge, at least to me. I am a planner by nature. A list-maker. I like goals that are measurable and can be crossed off, things that have a concrete result. More and more, though, my life refuses to adhere to any plans I make. My carefully constructed and reasonable writing schedules fall apart after a few

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

days. The calendars I create and fill with plans end up with cross-outs and cancellations because life refuses to cooperate.

My favorite Christmas song is “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” It’s both wistful and hopeful, which is how I like my holiday music. As originally written by Hugh Martin in 1943, the lyrics were a little grim, suggesting that we should enjoy the holidays because they might be our last ones. The words were changed at Judy Garland’s request and changed yet again in 1957 when Frank Sinatra covered the song and wanted something even more upbeat. That’s when my favorite line was altered, going from “until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” to the happier “hang a shining star upon the highest bow.”

I prefer the original muddling line, because for me it’s more accurate. We can make all the plans we like, but I think most of us end up muddling through somehow. And that’s fine. Plans and goals can get you somewhere specific, but muddling often takes you on more interesting adventures and yields unexpected but rewarding results. This coming year feels particularly unpredictable due to the recent election, and I suspect trying to tame it with plans will be unlikely to work well. Instead, I’m going to focus on developing an openness to change and a willingness to go where events take me.

Where will it lead? I have no idea. But if like me you’re feeling unsure of how to go into the new year, feel free to muddle along with me. I don’t know where we’ll end up at the end of 2025, but we can find out together. ▼

Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary award-winning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com.

Words Matter

The Last Thing You Said

Summer was almost over, my calendar was full, and I had plans to see a show that night. But when I saw the invitation in my inbox for one of his Sunday salons, something told me to accept.

For years he’d been hosting these lovely convenings at his house where he’d bring people together for good food and great conversations. I appreciated the time he spent developing topics for the discussions and curating guest lists that would bode well for meaningful engagement. I also really appreciated that he was a couple of decades older than me, and he was intentional about making his gatherings intergenerational. Those in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond were intermingling and everyone felt comfortable bringing their thoughts and perspectives to the literal and figurative table. He recognized that building community was important.

When the date came, I hopped in a ride share and headed to his place with a bottle of wine in tow. I made new friends on the elevator with a couple of guys who I rightly guessed were on their way to his place as well, and when we opened the door to his spacious apartment, I was greeted with hugs and smiles from old friends. I was so glad that I decided to come. I knew that I had to take off early to be on time for the show, but I was happy being present in that space with community.

The best part of the night was when I was fixing my plate: I got to spend some one-on-one time with the host. We talked and laughed. Because we don’t see each other often, those several minutes with just the two of us in the dining room were invaluable. After I flowed back into the main room to eat it was time for me to go. I found the host again and thanked him for inviting me. We hugged and off I went. I never imagined that would be the last time I’d hug him goodbye, see his smile, or hear his infectious laughter. Unexpectedly, he transitioned from elder to ancestor a few weeks ago. He’s left his

Our words can be hard or soft, careless, or kind—a gift or a grinch.

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

legacy, lessons, and a lot of memories for us to cherish.

I am so grateful that the last words he heard from me were appreciative and sincere. Over the last few months, I have experienced a lot of grief and loss. Like many people who’ve lost a loved one, I have been spending a lot of time replaying my last conversations with my departed loves and going through our old text messages.

There are many things that I do not know, but what I know for sure is that any interaction we have with another person may be our last. I am more acutely aware of this now than I have ever been before, and it has begun reshaping how I approach what I say.

When I was scrolling through the text exchanges between my dear friend and fraternity brother who died recently, I found some comfort reading the messages I’d sent him. I’d noted what I admired about him, showing care and appreciation, and being vulnerable enough to say I loved him. I will miss him forever, but I find just a little bit of peace knowing that I told him while he was alive what he meant to me. He didn’t have to doubt that. And our last text messages to each other were celebratory. I am grateful for that.

I have a friend who never says “goodbye” when ending a phone call. For years

she’s made a practice of always saying, “love you much.” In case that phone call is the last time the person on the other end hears her voice, she wants to make sure that the person knows that she loves them, and she wants her farewells to be sweet.

Recognizing that the last thing you say to someone may truly be the last thing you ever get to say to them, how does that inform your intentions when you speak? How will you choose your words more wisely? Will it make you step back before speaking in anger? Will you temper your words? Will you choose to say nothing when you don’t have anything nice to say?

Our words can be hard or soft, careless, or kind—a gift or a grinch. It is up to us to be conscious how and when we use our words because they matter and may one day be the last memory someone has of us. ▼

Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Instagram: @Mr_CJFluker.

Photo by Miroslav Kuruc on Unsplash.com

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STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

Preparing for Four More Years of Trump

As the United States prepares for another Donald Trump presidency, many LGBTQ+ Americans are bracing for the possibility of increased legislative, social, and physical threats. Trump’s past policies and rhetoric, combined with ongoing anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment, mean that safeguarding personal and community well-being is more critical than ever.

From monitoring legislative threats to cultivating local networks of support, here are practical steps to help LGBTQ+ individuals protect themselves and their communities in these uncertain times.

1. Stay Informed About Legislative Threats. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation has surged in recent years, targeting everything from gender-affirming care to educational content. Staying informed about these developments is essential for personal safety and effective activism.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) offers an up-to-date resource on legislative attacks against LGBTQ+ rights. Visit their website to track state and federal proposals. (aclu.org/legislative-attacks-on-lgbtq-rights-2024). This resource allows you to understand how proposed laws could affect your rights, find actionable steps—such as contacting lawmakers or joining protests—and connect with local and national advocacy groups working to oppose harmful legislation.

2. Strengthen Community Connections. Community organizations are lifelines for LGBTQ+ individuals, providing safe spaces, advocacy, and vital services. Joining or supporting groups like CAMP Rehoboth is an excellent way to stay connected and contribute to broader movements.

Whether through volunteering, donating, or participating in events, being involved in such organizations can help you meet allies and build supportive networks; access resources for mental health, legal assistance, and housing;

and empower you to make a positive impact locally. Find a community organization near you or explore national groups to broaden your reach.

3. Prioritize Digital Safety. The internet is both a tool for connection and a potential avenue for harm. LGBTQ+ individuals, especially those in states with heightened hostility, should exercise caution when networking online or using dating apps.

• Be mindful of what you share: Avoid posting identifying information in public forums.

• Vet new contacts: Before meeting someone, ensure they are who they claim to be by checking mutual connections or having a video chat first.

• Update privacy settings: Make sure your social media profiles are secured against potential doxxing or harassment.

• Report suspicious activity: Platforms like Grindr and Tinder allow users to report abuse or scams. Utilize these features to help protect yourself and others.

4. Share Your Location. Meeting new people can be exciting, but it’s essential to take precautions to stay safe. Whether you’re attending a protest, going on a date, or visiting a new community space, always let a trusted friend or family member know your plans.

One of the best ways to ensure your safety is to share live locations with trusted contacts. You can also arrange regular check-ins with someone you trust so that they know you’re safe. You may even want to establish a simple code word to alert friends or family if you’re in danger.

While these practices may seem excessive, they can be lifesaving!

5. Acknowledge and Prepare for Potential Violence. Unfortunately, threats of violence against LGBTQ+ individuals are rising. An October 2024 hate crime in Salisbury, Maryland, when a group of university students targeted and assaulted someone based on their

sexual orientation, underscores this reality.

To mitigate risks, always stay vigilant and be aware of your surroundings, especially in unfamiliar spaces. Avoid isolation, and travel with friends or attend events in groups whenever possible. If you know someone who is often alone, check in with them and offer to accompany them on certain errands or tasks if they need support.

Most importantly, know your rights: Research local hate crime laws and reporting procedures. And, if you see something, say something. If you experience or witness a hate crime, report it to local authorities and organizations like the Anti-Violence Project (AVP), which offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ survivors of violence.

6. Engage in Advocacy. Advocacy isn’t just for professional activists—it’s for everyone. Simple actions, such as calling your representatives or writing letters, can help protect LGBTQ+ rights. Here’s how to get started:

• Follow an advocacy group like the ACLU, GLAAD, and the Trevor Project, which often share action alerts and resources.

• Identify your lawmakers with tools like Common Cause to locate your state and federal representatives.

• Speak out and share your story through social media, local news outlets, or public hearings to raise awareness and foster empathy.

7. Build Emergency Plans. Uncertain political climates can lead to abrupt changes in rights or services. Prepare now to ensure you have access to essential resources. Get your legal documents in order and update your name and gender markers on IDs if possible. If you have access to health care, establish care with LGBTQ+ affirming providers and secure copies of your medical records. If you’re able, build a fund for contingencies such as moving to a safer area or accessing legal aid.

8. Take Care of Your Mental Health. Living under constant threat can take a

…by staying informed, building supportive networks, and taking proactive safety measures, individuals can better navigate the challenges ahead.

toll on mental health. Make self-care a priority through both preventative and restorative care. Practicing mindfulness through activities like exercise, exploring hobbies, journaling, or meditation can help reduce stress. And, if you need help, get it! Connect with peers or seek out support groups that can provide comfort and understanding during difficult times. (There are lots of free support groups online!) You can also seek out LGBTQ+affirming therapists through directories like Psychology Today or The National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network.

9. Celebrate Your Identity, Amid challenges, finding joy and celebrating your identity can be a form of resistance. Attend Pride events, participate in LGBTQ+ art and culture, and surround yourself with affirming people. Embracing your authentic self is a powerful way to combat oppression, especially together as a community!

The return of a Trump administration represents a significant threat to LGBTQ+ rights and safety in the United States. But by staying informed, building supportive networks, and taking proactive safety measures, individuals can better navigate the challenges ahead.

VOLUNTEER spotlight

Debbie Woods

BY MARCE MCCOLLUM-MARTIN

We shine our spotlight this month on a volunteer who helps out in so many ways. Debbie’s lead and/or participated in dozens of CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) events, worked on CAMP’s Visual Arts’ exhibits and receptions, and ushered at CAMP Rehoboth Chorus performances. Cheerful as well as helpful—Debbie, we salute you!

CR: How long has Rehoboth Beach been a part of your life?

DW: My wife Leslie and I first visited Rehoboth in 1998. In addition to being in a wonderful town, we felt very comfortable as an LGBTQ+ couple—thanks mostly to the existence of CAMP Rehoboth. In 2001 we purchased a condo in Spring Lake and spent seven years coming here part-time on weekends and whenever else we could from Northern Virginia. We found it to be stress-free and lots of fun. Even

Remember, you are not alone. Organizations like CAMP Rehoboth and the ACLU are here to support you, as are countless LGBTQ+ communities across the country. Together, we can create a future rooted in resilience, solidarity, and pride. ▼

Stephen Raskauskas is a Sussex County native who has produced content for radio, TV, digital, and print.

our two cats enjoyed going to the beach!

CR: When did you begin volunteering for CAMP Rehoboth?

DW: When we moved to Rehoboth full time in 2008, my first experience was with Volunteers on Vacation (now CROP). We painted the interior of the West Side New Beginnings club house. Since then, I have volunteered mainly with CROP, participating in or leading a wide variety of community service projects, and assisting with art exhibits and opening receptions with the Visual Arts Team.

CR: What benefits have you derived from volunteering?

DW: I never considered myself to be a creative or artistic person. However, my participation on CAMP’s Visual Arts Team has taught me a lot about the arts and curation. When setting up art shows, I’m now able to contribute suggestions. And similar to my feelings about my Federal career, I’m proud to contribute to CAMP Rehoboth’s mission, which provides many services vital to the LGBTQ+ community—especially in the current political/social environment.

CR: What do you consider your greatest achievement?

DW: I spent 37 years working as a Contracting Officer for the Federal Government, retiring in 2009. I found my career to be highly rewarding, since government agencies are not focused on profits; their missions are to serve the American people and protect our country. And marrying Leslie Sinclair was a great achievement too!

CR: What is your most marked characteristic?

DW: Well for one, I’m not exactly known for my wishy-washy opinions! ▼

Marce McCollum-Martin is a member of the Volunteer Development Committee.

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Out & About

Defying Sanity

Among the many fictions that the modern conservative movement has invented, in addition to the War on Christmas, men who pose as trans women to infiltrate women’s restrooms, and the “DEI hire,” is a peculiar condition called Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Popularized during the first Trump administration, the primary symptom of this imagined disease is simply reacting to the outlandish, mean-spirited, or criminal things that former and future President Donald Trump actually says or does. Nonetheless, Trump’s fans like to characterize these reactions as paranoic outbursts with little relation to reality.

Even though psychologists have published studies which show that there is far more bias among Trump’s followers than his detractors, I’ve begun to wonder if there might be something to this diagnosis.

Like a lot of people, I cycled through the stages of grief after Trump won a second term last month. He hasn’t even taken office yet, but I already feel attacked by my news feed. Every time he picks yet another sex offender to join his cabinet, it chips away a little at my soul. I can’t believe we’re going on this particular trip again, and yet I know this time will be even worse.

In an effort to escape (mentally, at least—I’ve no plans to expatriate, yet), I’ve been returning to a place of comfort and solace: the movie theatre. Since the pandemic, seeing a film on a big screen is something many of us have done a lot less, but to minimize my despair and bolster my mental health, sitting in a dark room and losing myself in stories that take place either long ago or far away seems like a good idea. In the same weekend, I recently took myself to the movies to see the two biggest blockbusters of the holiday season so far: Wicked and Gladiator II

But rather than escapism, what I was confronted with both times was

the visage of one Donald J. Trump. He’s showing up everywhere, it seems. And I’m beginning to wonder if I’m as “deranged” as the MAGA hats say I am.

In the merry old land of Oz, Trump showed up in the far more handsome, far more charming form of Jeff Goldblum. The wizard, as anyone who’s read either book (L. Frank Baum or Gregory Maguire) or seen either movie (this one or 1939’s The Wizard of Oz) knows, is actually…not a wizard. He’s an ordinary human man, who took a wrong turn in a hot air balloon, landed in a

The wizard…managed to hoodwink an entire nation into believing he was an all-powerful savior. He’s a con man. He’s a narcissist.

strange land, and managed to hoodwink an entire nation into believing he was an all-powerful savior. He’s a con man. He’s a narcissist. He…seems awfully familiar.

In Gladiator II, there were two Trumps! Fred Hechinger and Joseph Quinn play twin brothers and coemperors of Rome: Geta and Caracalla (who ruled together briefly in the year 211 before Caracalla had Geta killed). First of all, you know they’re supposed to be the “bad guys” in this movie because in the midst of muscles, machismo, and stoic masculinity, these two are…well, kind of girly. They wear eyeliner and dote on their pets. But they bear a certain resemblance to a modern American politician in other ways. Their hair is a slightly unnatural shade of blonde. They’re petulant and prone to tantrums. They give away power to those who flatter them. They…ring a bell.

I absolutely loved Wicked. It was brilliant. I could probably write five columns about the film if I chose. I enjoyed

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

Gladiator II as much as I’ve ever liked these blood-soaked “sand, swords, ‘n’ sandals” epics.

But in both films, I found it first annoying, then a little disturbing that my thoughts kept traveling back to the man I went to the theatre to avoid. Was this a window into my future for the next four years?

After thinking about it for a while, I think the answer is both yes and no. When he becomes the President of the United States, Trump will be a fixture in our news. While the media often ignores the things they should pay more attention to and dwell on stories that don’t really impact anyone’s lives (hello, Hunter Biden), I can’t very well expect to live in a Trump-free universe for the next four years. He’s going to be on my mind. And I think he popped up where he was the least welcome, in my moments of respite, because he’s not new. The story of a leader who is far less than he claims to be, egocentric and easy to manipulate, is a tale that predates even L. Frank Baum or the freakin’ Roman Empire. So, unless I spend the next four years watching nothing but reruns of The Golden Girls —as tempting as that sounds—he’s going to show up in the stories we consume. And perhaps that’s as it should be. Stories can be an escape, but they can also teach us important lessons, if we’re willing to listen. ▼

Eric Peterson is Interim Managing Editor of Amble Press, a novelist (Loyalty, Love & Vermouth), and a diversity, equity, and inclusion practitioner. Follow Eric on Threads at @red7eric.

CAMPStories

Silver Sequins and Dayglow Cherries

I‘ve proclaimed my love of fruitcake in this column once or twice over the past 19 years. But I’m quite sure I’ve never written about Cher. And I’ve never ever written about both at the same time. Has anyone? Well, if not, it’s time because I’m thinking there’s a good chance many of you might be gifted both this holiday season, considering Cher’s new memoir is out and at this writing sits at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. And because fruitcake is, uh, fruitcake. It always shows up this time of year. I say that with a smile, not a sneer.

Fruitcake and Cher? I sense many of you clutching your pearls. At first glance, it seems an odd pairing. But fruitcake and Cher have a lot in common. They’re timeless, flamboyant, a bit divisive, and unapologetically themselves. And I like them both. So, without further ado, let’s dive in.

Most folks know that Cher reinvents herself with every generation—pop singer, disco diva, rock goddess, movie star—yet she remains quintessentially Cher. Fruitcake? Same deal. While other desserts fade in and out of fashion, fruitcake stays true to itself: dense, sweet, and packed with nostalgia.

Cher has survived decades in an extremely tough industry. She’s had comeback after comeback, proving that nothing—not age, not critics, not a bad movie role (remember Tess Scali in Burlesque?)—can keep her down.

Fruitcake operates on the same principle. People love to laugh about how long it lasts and that there’s only one that keeps getting passed around. Did you know TV comedian Johnny Carson started that joke back in the 1970s? But the truth is, its longevity is a testament to its recipe. A fruitcake’s dense texture, dried fruits, and generous doses of sugar and alcohol make it practically immortal. It’s not just a dessert or a door stop; it’s a survivor.

Case in point. A fruitcake over 100 years old was discovered in Antarctica in 2017 by the Antarctic Heritage Trust at the site of the first known human habitation

on the continent. The fruitcake was found in a rusted tin, but it remained remarkably well-preserved, thanks to Antarctica’s frigid conditions. Despite a faint smell of rancid butter, the cake looked and smelled almost edible. They left it there.…

Both fruitcake and Cher tell us that it’s okay to be flashy, different, or even a little too much so long as you are staying true to who you are.

Both fruitcake and Cher also have the unique ability to be rediscovered. Every holiday season, fruitcake reclaims its spotlight. It may vanish from our consciousness for most of the year, but come December, it’s everywhere. Left untouched for a while, a fruitcake can be revived with a splash of bourbon. Similarly, Cher disappears for a moment, only to reappear stronger than ever. She is the queen of comebacks. Just when you think she’s taken her final bow, she hits you with another tour, another album, and now a book!

I also think it’s not too big a stretch to say Cher is the queen of stage costumes. Cher gives us feathers, sequins,

BY RICH BARNETT

and rhinestones. Her collaborations with fashion designer Bob Mackie were showstoppers.

Remember that Oscar outfit where she wore a massive, spiked headdress resembling a punk rock Mohawk? Met Gala afficionados still talk about Cher’s almost-nude evening gown featuring strategically placed sequins and feathers.

Fruitcake, on the other hand, is more like the matron of holiday packaging— glossy wrappers, satin bows, and decorative tins. That is, until you look inside and see all the fluorescent debris, a cutting-edge fusion of culinary art and rave culture. Green cherries? Again, said with a smile and not a sneer.

Fruitcake and Cher. You might not appreciate them at first, but give them a chance, and they’ll win you over. Just like Cher’s vocals, fruitcake’s flavor has layers: the tangy bite of dried fruit, the crunch of nuts, the whisper of rum. It’s complex, much like the diva herself.

Together, they remind us that true greatness doesn’t fade; it evolves. No matter how much time has passed, some things never go out of style. Both fruitcake and Cher tell us that it’s okay to be flashy, different, or even a little too much so long as you are staying true to who you are.

So, this holiday season when you unwrap a fruitcake, think of Cher. Better yet, listen to her Christmas album. (Of course she recorded one!) When you dive into her memoir, consider nibbling on some fruitcake. I like a little peanut butter on mine.

Fruitcake and Cher. They’re both treasures that bring joy to those who take the time to appreciate them. And if you don’t? Well, that’s your loss. Because whether it’s belting out “Strong Enough” or sitting proudly on a festive platter, these two are here to stay. And honestly, the world is better for it.

Happy holidays! ▼

Rich Barnett is the author of The Discreet Charms of a Bourgeois Beach Town, and Fun with Dick and James.

WELCOMING SCHOOLS

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Every Child, Every Classroom, Every Day

BAD NEWS/GOOD NEWS

First the bad news: LGBTQ+ students are nearly twice as likely to be demeaned, verbally harassed, or physically harassed compared to their non-LGBTQ+ classmates. And the risk of self-harm with LGBTQ+ students is twice as likely with every instance of verbal or physical harassment.

Delaware’s school districts set their own policies for handling and reporting bullying. Local education entities reported more than 1,300 alleged bullying and cyberbullying incidents during the 202223 school year, with 29 percent of incidents substantiated (and such incidents are commonly underreported).

Now the good news: The Cape Henlopen School District has implemented the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation’s Welcoming Schools program, the most comprehensive bias-based bullying prevention program in the nation. The program provides LGBTQ+ and gender-inclusive professional development training, lesson plans, book lists, and resources specifically designed for educators and youth-serving professionals.

School communities using the Welcoming Schools approach for three years have reported a 50 percent reduction in behavioral referrals, as well as better attendance and improvements in literacy

and math skills. And after receiving the Welcoming Schools training, 89 percent of educators reported high levels of confidence in their knowledge and ability to support LGBTQ+ students.

“Amidst challenges to LGBTQ+ inclusion in education,” said Cheryl Greene, Senior Director of the program, “Welcoming Schools has remained steadfast in its commitment to empowering educators and creating affirming spaces for students. In our 16th year, our program is more robust than ever before. This work across local school districts is crucial to the success of our kids in school.”

In the Cape Henlopen School District, there had been concerns some years ago about how well schools were doing with preventing bullying. Dr. Michael Young, Supervisor of Secondary Education, formed an outreach committee and brought in other community groups to find out what issues young people were reporting.

In 2012, he decided the district should participate in the Welcoming Schools program. At the time, HRC provided a facilitator that went to each school and helped teachers and staff understand vocabulary around LGBTQ issues and taught them how to be an ally and intervene if necessary. “We did that for a few years,” says Young. They also had “safe space” stickers so students could identify

“…we believe that everyone needs to be safe and welcome in our schools.”

that the teacher was there for support if needed. But then COVID came, and priorities changed.

Last year, Young got together with Amanda Archambault, Supervisor of Elementary Education. Cheryl Green from HRC had approached Young about a new pilot program that they wanted to use with smaller districts. The program educates key staff members to become trainers within their own schools. Young said they agreed, “This is something we’d like to bring to the district because of the materials and the quality and the need, just to make sure that that portion of our population is supported, and that people understand that we believe that everyone needs to be safe and welcome in our schools.”

Young and Archambault volunteered to serve as trainers and completed the training program over the summer. It comprised five days of training—two via Zoom and three at HRC headquarters in DC. They had the opportunity for handson work and practice teaching. Both agreed it was one of the best training programs they had ever attended.

HRC’S WELCOMING SCHOOLS PROGRAM

The program contains six modules, each with its own goals, objectives, academic standards, materials, and activities.

These include Creating LGBTQ+ Inclusive Schools (Elementary & Secondary), Embracing All Families (Elementary), Preventing Bias-Based Bullying (Elementary & Secondary), Creating Gender Inclusive Schools (Elementary & Secondary), Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Students (Elementary & Secondary), and Intersectionality: School Practices with an Intersectional Lens (Elementary & Secondary). (Intersectional theory asserts that people are often disadvantaged by multiple sources of oppression: race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, and other identity markers.)

Although the modules have an LGBTQ+ component embedded within them, they address other areas of equity as well. Classroom materials are focused on acceptance and understanding. The phrase they use is love, respect, and family—whatever family means to you.

“For kids, it really does boil down to the respect part,” says Archambault. “When you’re with people who are not exactly like you, how do you still interact and how do you be respectful, and how do you extend understanding and empathy and compassion…the program is for every kid. It’s not just for a certain group of kids.” Young adds, “It’s really great material that thinks through how to create environments where students can thrive.”

They’ve gotten great feedback, not just from teachers, but also from counselors, principals, assistant principals, and other staff. Surprisingly, there’s been very little push back. “We’re, I think, fortunate in our district,” says Young, “because parents who have questions— and I’m going to call them questions because I wouldn’t necessarily call them concerns—I would just say they need more information. They will reach out to the building administration or to us here at the district office, and we can have a conversation that, in my experience, 100 percent of the time, works out to a better place of understanding.…When you bring

“We as a district believe that every student deserves to feel safe and valued, known, and affirmed.”

it down to the individual student and what we’re trying to do to make sure they feel safe and welcome in school, every parent understands that that’s what they want for their child, too.”

The material is age-appropriate and research-based, so it’s information students can handle at every age. “It’s the questions children are asking at those ages,” says Young, “and the information helps them understand it without having a gap that they fill in themselves that might not be good information.”

Cape also now has a gender-support-plan liaison person and alternate at each school. Young explains that “for students who need that type of support— transgender students, students who might be questioning or are nonbinary and need support—we create a gender support plan.” It’s an important component of the Welcoming Schools initiative. “I feel like it moved that to a level of support that you don’t see in many districts, and I’m very proud of that.”

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

The looming Trump 2.0 presidency and predicted changes in the political environment have not affected their plans. Young and Archambault intend to cover the six modules over the next three years. “We approach every session with keeping kids first,” says Archambault,” no matter your personal beliefs. We as a district believe that every student deserves to feel safe and valued, known, and affirmed.” She says she will continue to advocate for all kids no matter what.

Young added, “We’re going to continue supporting kids and advocating that every kid has the right to an education and to be safe at school and to be respected and that bullying has no place in our schools.” Archambault adds, “Our district, unlike some other areas, we have just fabulous district support.” She

says that the promise at Cape is “equity, excellence, and responsiveness for every child, every classroom, every day. And we truly believe all means all.”

WELCOMING SCHOOLS RESOURCES

Many of the Welcoming Schools resources are free and downloadable (welcomingschools.org/resources). Parents, caregivers, homeschool groups, and others will find book lists, lesson plans, and other materials they can use on their own. ▼

Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

Photos courtesy of Cape Henlopen School District.

FOR MORE INFORMATION

“LGBTQ+ students navigate a complicated system for bullying in Delaware,” Spotlight Delaware, Julia Merola, November 7, 2024. State of Delaware Annual Report on Bullying in Delaware Public Schools, 2022-2023. https://education.delaware.gov/wp-content/ uploads/2024/02/2022-2023-Annual-Bullying-Report.pdf

“Welcoming Schools,” HRC Foundation’s Award-Winning Anti-Bullying Program Reaches Record 750,000 Students, Supporting Communities Amid Wave of Anti-LGBTQ+ Book Bans, Classroom Censorship,” Jared Todd, Human Rights Campaign, May 14, 2024. https://www.hrc.org/ press-releases/welcoming-schoolshrcs-award-winning-anti-bullyingprogram-reaches-record-750-000students-supporting-communitiesamid-wave-of-anti-lgbtq-book-bans-classroom-censorship

Dr. Michael Young Amanda Archambault

KESHET: The Rainbow Connection

Stepping Out, Stepping Up

Just a few weeks ago, my Baltimore synagogue—and every synagogue around the world—read the story of Noah’s Ark as part of the weekly Biblical portion traditionally read in Judaism. Trapped inside the ark for more than a year, Noah had felt the swaying vibrations of the flood below the floor, knowing it could burst in seconds and drown him. He had pondered for many nights, wondering when the storm would end and he could finally come out. If he could ever come out.

This is my experience as an LGBTQ+ Jewish teenager, my nerves building up inside the closet, never knowing when God would present me with the right time to take that first step outside.

Would the world be destroyed if I dared set foot out of the ark I built? Was there even an island of land to support me from the depths below?

Leaving his ark behind, Noah was greeted with the first rainbow as a promise that he would never again experience the anxiety and alienation from inside the ark; that his world would never be engulfed by the depths again.

This is the experience of LGBTQ+ Jewish teenagers discovering KESHET for the very first time. KESHET, derived from the Hebrew word for rainbow, is a national organization for LGBTQ+ Jews and their allies, instituted in Jewish schools, camps, and synagogues around the country.

My school, Beth Tfiloh, a large Modern Orthodox community day school, has its own chapter of KESHET for high school students. Beth Tfiloh teacher Phil Jacobs, who “[feels] allied with the students at school” and is the KESHET club’s faculty advisor, believes that while there has been so much progress in the few years since KESHET’s installation, there is still more to be done.

Initially known as ‘SIRI,’ the LGBTQ+ club at Beth Tfiloh relied on “a small handful of influential students,” remembers Mr. Jacobs. Following leaders’ graduation, new leaders would emerge in their place. “The [former] heads of the club came to

me and asked if I wanted to join,” says sophomore Izzy Leavey, one of the club’s current two heads, alongside Ada Key, a junior.

A familiar face in Beth Tfiloh’s halls, Izzy expresses an overt queer identity, sporting Pride stickers on their laptop and water bottle and even a Pride flag back-

BY GEFEN MILLER

As an out, queer, Orthodox Jew myself, I must admit that I stand out in the crowd in many Orthodox settings, simply because of how overtly I express my identity.

drop on their smart watch. While they feel comfortable expressing their identity in a physical, material sense, when the leadership torch passed to Leavey, their eyes were opened to the responsibility of being a leader in a new frontier for the Orthodox Jewish community.

“In the KESHET club, students can say what they want [regarding LGBTQ+ issues] without people receiving it as ‘inappropriate’—we’re here to educate people.” Education is Izzy’s main philosophy.

Since SIRI’s rebranding as KESHET four years ago, a lot has changed. “I’m not afraid to talk about [the KESHET club] anymore,” says Mr. Jacobs, “When we first started, we did have some antagonism. I used to worry about announcing it on Friday assembly, but not anymore—it’s small, but we’ve come a long way.”

“For starters, we have a club, which

we did not have before,” says Dr. Neil Rubin, the Jewish History Department Chair and faculty member involved in KESHET. “I think school staff became a lot more sensitive [since the installment of KESHET at Beth Tfiloh].”

Recently arrived from Arizona and the newest addition to the KESHET club, sophomore Hannah Ellentuck noticed how safe many queer students feel. “There are already a lot of students who are queer and out of the closet,” she notes. This shift is not only due to the institution of a safe space in school, but also to its success among both LGBTQ+ students and allies.

With the more open announcements, more allies have been attending KESHET’s bi-weekly meetings. “I’m appalled with anyone feeling left out, we are a klal yisroel [all of the Children of Israel] club,” says Dr. Rubin, referring to the proudly Jewish environment at Beth Tfiloh and how it relates to the inclusion of LGBTQ+ students.

“Some Orthodox students are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+ topics [brought up] in class,” explains Leavey, “[and sometimes], queer Orthodox students have a greater difficulty coming out and expressing themselves [as opposed to secular students].”

However, a strong Jewish identity and the KESHET club go hand in hand. “We’re all made in Hashem’s [God’s] image,” says Mr. Jacobs, “We are all [His] sons and daughters, [our] parents, sisters, and brothers.”

As an out, queer, Orthodox Jew myself, I must admit that I stand out in the crowd in many Orthodox settings, simply because of how overtly I express my identity. But KESHET provides a space for queer Jewish teens to not only express themselves, but to “know that [they] are not the only one,” as put by Mr. Jacobs. ▼

Gefen Miller is a Baltimore-based high school sophomore and aspiring journalist who is passionate about LGBTQ+ rights and issues.

T h e r e a r e a n u m b e r o f w a y s y o u c a n u s e p l a n n e d

g i v i n g t o b u i l d c h a r i t a b l e g i v i n g i n t o y o u r l i f e p l a n s ,

e v e n a f t e r d e a t h . S o m e c a n e v e n h e l p y o u l o w e r y o u r

t a x a b l e i n c o m e n o w ! C o n s i d e r p l a n n i n g a h e a d n o w a n d

e x p l o r e s o m e o f t h e s e w a y s f o r g i v i n g a f t e r l i f e :

B e q u e s t

P l a n n e d G i f t

L i f e I n s u r a n c e

Q u a l i f i e d R e t i r e m e n t P l a n ESTATE AND LIFE ESTATE AND LIFE INCOME GIFTS INCOME GIFTS

. c o m / d o n a t e . T R A N S F E R F R O M A N I R A T R A N S F E R F R O M A N I R A

A c h a r i t a b l e g i f t f r o m y o u r e s t a t e i s a

f a v o r e d m e t h o d o f g i v i n g t h a t e n a b l e s

y o u t o a c h i e v e y o u r f i n a n c i a l g o a l s a n d

b e n e f i t C A M P R e h o b o t h .

MATCHING GIFT MATCHING GIFT

M a t c h i n g g i f t s a r e a g r e a t w a y

t o e n h a n c e y o u r g i f t t o C A M P

R e h o b o t h . P l e a s e c h e c k w i t h

y o u r c o m p a n y ’ s h u m a n

r e s o u r c e s d e p a r t m e n t t o

d e t e r m i n e i f y o u r c o m p a n y

o f f e r s m a t c h i n g g i f t s .

I f y o u a r e 7 0 ½ y e a r s o f a g e o r

o l d e r , a t r a n s f e r f r o m a n I R A m a y

b e a b e n e f i c i a l w a y t o s u p p o r t

C A M P R e h o b o t h .

KEEPING THE BUBBLY IN…

…and Getting It Out

Okay, so you’re all ready to ring in the New Year. You’ve got reservations at the hottest spot for the pre-celebration dinner. It’s dancing afterward, a little bubbly, some hugging and kissing when the ball drops, sing “Auld Lang Syne,” and back to the house afterward to make sure the new year starts off right.

Imagine how truly sad you’ll be if you forget the one essential thing you need for your celebration: the devices that open your bottles.

To understand the history of bottle openers, you first have to understand how bottles were sealed once upon a time.

Though bottles are ancient things— clay bottles are believed to date back some 5,500 years, glass bottles about 3,500 years—the closure and sealing of them was initially a messy affair. If they were sealed at all, it was usually done by covering the mouth of the bottle with a reed or grass mat, or by sealing the opening with clay or mud, the taste of which probably totally ruined the buzz when the bottle was opened. Bummer.

Parties were probably a little more fun in the Middle Ages, when bottles and other vessels were sealed with animal skins tightly pulled over the mouth of the bottle to prevent spillage, or with wax seals stuffed down the neck of the vessel. The good news: back then, bottles were generally made of leather or an animal skin, which may have made things easier: no searching around for the cap. It was attached to the bottle.

In the 14th century, someone in Scotland finally realized that a narrow-necked bottle would work dandy for storing alcohol—but sealing it was a challenge and rags or wood were the only things anyone could think of. And that was right and good and all, but…. It wasn’t until some three centuries later that someone else, possibly French winemaker and Benedictine monk Pierre Perignon, invented the cork stopper for bottles, holding bottle and cork with wires and

prayer. You never want to chance wasting good wine.

So, you know how you hate getting pieces of cork in your glass? Get this: it wasn’t until the late 1700s that someone invented the corkscrew, a device that was originally thought to be used on the battlefield to remove bullets from guns.

…it wasn’t until the late 1700s that someone invented the corkscrew, a device that was originally thought to be used on the battlefield to remove bullets from guns.

No doubt, the guy who had an “AHA!” moment on that one was the recipient of many a good round of drinks.

As for beer, well, the production of that drink was changing, too.

Remember the long-necked bottle, capped with a cork? By the early 1700s, brewers had come to realize that those weren’t just for wine. They were perfect for beer-making, too, which, among other new technologies during the Industrial Revolution, helped move the production

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

of beer to factories. Assuming, of course, you could get alcohol of any sort, due to a growing Temperance movement.

In 1892, an American genius named William Painter invented the bottle cap, which kept beer from going flat and from spilling in transit. And what’s a capped bottle without a way of popping that cap off? Like I said, genius: voila! An amazing little device that fits into the palm of one’s hand. You can raise your glass to Painter now.

Almost from the beginning, bottle openers were used for advertising. The so-called “church key” opener was the first and, for a very long time, the mostused, most familiar bottle opener, looking something like a tiny plumber’s wrench.

During Prohibition, bottle openers were manufactured in many different, clever shapes that surprised and delighted users. In the 1920s, the familiar-to-usnow wall openers hit the bars.

At the end of Prohibition, the first cans of beer were made in Richmond, Virginia, and they required the now ubiquitous can opener with the pointy tip; in the 1960s, plastic stoppers began showing up in wine bottles. Since then, other small changes have been made to bottle openers’ and corkscrews’ shapes and sizes, but the end result is the same.

Today, if you so desire, you can open a cold one and join a bottle collector’s club. Or you can just pop the top off a bottle of bubbly, a magnum of wine, or an adult malt beverage. No more animal hide containers; no more mud stoppers. Happy New Year! ▼

Terri Schlichenmeyer’s third book, The Book of Facts and Trivia: Science, came out in September 2024.

Photo by luwadlin Bosman on Unsplash.

“ Minutes count ... and having a neurologist there to see everything makes a huge difference. “

David Tam,

MD,

MBA, CPHE, FACHE President & CEO, Beebe Healthcare Stroke Survivor

After experiencing a series of stroke symptoms in early 2024, Beebe Healthcare President and CEO Dr. David Tam knew he could trust his system's compassionate care team to deliver the life-saving care he needed. As members of the Jefferson Health Neuroscience Network, Beebe is proud to leverage our expertise as a certified Primary Stroke Center with the world-class skills of Jefferson’s team to quickly and safely diagnose and treat stroke when minutes matter most. is Our Specialty

Scan to hear Dr. Tam's story and learn about our affiliation with Jefferson Health

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.org.

REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS

Atlantic Jewelry, 313 South Boardwalk

New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy

Stuart Kingston Gallery, 19470 Coastal Hwy

Unfinished Business, 18389 Olde Coach Rd.

ART GALLERIES | MUSEUMS

Biggs Museum of American Art, thebiggsmuseum.org

Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave

Peninsula Gallery, 502 E Savannah Rd

Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln

Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK

1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center

Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave

Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave

Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave

Café Azafrán, 18 Baltimore Ave

Chesapeake & Maine, 316 Rehoboth Ave

Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave

Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave

Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats 320 Rehoboth Ave

Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave

Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 3 South First St

Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave

Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St

Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave

Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave

Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave

Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave

Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave

Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave

The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue

302-226-0675

302-227-8484

302-227-2524

302-645-8700

BEACH AREA LODGING

Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave

Atlantic View Hotel, Ocean Front 2 Clayton St, Dewey

Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave

Beach View Hotel, 6 Wilmington Ave

Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave

Canalside Inn, 34 6th St

Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave

302-227-2050

302-645-0551

302-227-8408

302-227-7310

302-645-9355

302-226-9001

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302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave

Summer Place Hotel, 1st St & Olive Ave

302-226-2742

302-226-0766

Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 26089 Shoppes at Long Neck 302-947-1044

M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd

Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd

302-645-4945

302-226-8977

St. George’s Episcopal, 20271 Beaver Dam Rd, Harbeson 302-227-7202

St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes

Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy

Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro

Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)

ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project

302-645-8479

302-313-5838

302-945-5253

302-227-2109

866-227-7441

302-654-5326

CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth 302-227-5620

CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org 302-227-5620

CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect 302-227-5620

Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+) 302-227-2055

CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+) 302-515-3040

Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center 800-223-9074

Delaware Human Relations Commission

Housing & public accommodation 877-544-8626

Delaware Information Line 2-1-1Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival 302-265-3020

Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+)

302-645-9293

Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth 302-645-7449

PFLAG-Rehoboth—3rd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes Social Security Administration—Georgetown office 800-772-1213

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

Jewish Family Services .......................................................

Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching

Nancy Commisso, LCSW, Therapeutic Services

Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes

ELECTRICIANS

Silver Electric

FINANCIAL SERVICES

County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd

Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley

FLORISTS

Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave

Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1

Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties

AIDS Delaware – New Castle County

AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide

Brandywine Urology Consultants

Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy

CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth

Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic

Christiana Care LGBTQ+ Health Initiatives

Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide

Delaware Hospice

Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center

National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)

Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln

Maplewood Dental Associates, 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy

INSURANCE

Eric Blondin, State Farm

Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

PWW Law LLC, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes

Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center

One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave

Reiki CENTRAL, thecentralfirm.com

PEST CONTROL

Activ Pest Solutions, 16803 New Rd, Lewes

PET RETAIL

Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave

302-478-9411

302-754-1954

703-598-2938

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800-422-0429

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800-838-9800

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Pet Portraits by Monique 717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn

302-856-6361

Humane Animal Partners (formerly Delaware Humane Association & Delaware SPCA) ......................................................... 302-200-7159

Little Landmines Pet Waste Removal. littlelandmines.com 302-521-3983

Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes ........... 302-645-7445

REAL ESTATE

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty

302-745-5122

Chris Beagle, Compass 302-273-4998

Coldwell Banker Premier, theflatsatcoastalstation.com 302-227-5000

Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy 302-381-4871

Hugh Fuller, Realtor 302-745-1866

John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy 302-703-6987

Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave 302-236-2430

Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy 302-645-6664

Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave 302-227-3883

Mark Macomber, RE/MAX Realty Group, 317 Rehoboth Ave 302-584-0815

McWilliams Ballard, Kevin McDuffie kmcduffie@mcwb.com

McWilliams Ballard, Justin Orr jorr@mcwb.com

Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty 302-227-3883

Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy .......................... 302-227-1222

The Joe Maggio Group, 37169 Rehoboth Ave Ext., #11 ...... 302-226-3770

Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave 302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes 302-313-6658

The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave 302-278-6100

CHEER Transportation (age 50+) 302-856-4909

Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk 302-644-0400

Olivia Travel .......................................................... 800-631-6277 ext. 696

Where 2 Next Travel? where2nexttravel.com 302-945-3460

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November.

Delaware Must Be a Firewall for Freedom

BY MIKE BRICKNER, Executive Director, ACLU of Delaware

Donald Trump’s re-election is a bleak moment for the future of civil rights and liberties in our country, but let’s be clear, the ultimate power in our democracy lies with the people, not with any single elected official.

We have faced the reality of a Trump presidency before, and we know what is possible. We know what may happen to those President-elect Trump has pledged to target—immigrants, people seeking reproductive healthcare, transgender people, Black and Brown communities, and people expressing their First Amendment rights. We are familiar with the consequences of unchecked power and Project 2025’s long list of extreme policies that aim to empower Congress and the executive branch to hack away at our constitutional freedoms.

But there is reason to have hope.

For over a year, ACLU-DE has planned for what we will do to protect civil liberties if Donald Trump was elected for a second term, and we are ready to act. Delaware has already been a leader when it comes to safeguarding rights and advancing justice—from codifying abortion rights into state law to ensuring access to second chances for individuals with records. As we face

another Trump era, we have the chance to continue to lead by example, showing that regardless of election outcomes, Delaware will take concrete action to protect our communities and defend our most fundamental freedoms.

Here’s how Delaware can be a Firewall for Freedom:

• Refuse to cooperate. The Governor and Attorney General can refuse to cooperate if the Trump administration engages in massive anti-civil liberties actions such as information requests on people accessing reproductive or gender affirming healthcare, crackdowns on public protest, indiscriminate immigration raids, and more.

• Guarantee equal access to education. The Attorney General can clarify that Delaware law protects vulnerable students, such as families of immigrants, LGBTQ+ people, pregnant students, and more who all may be targets of the Trump administration.

• Ensure access to reproductive healthcare. Delaware can follow the lead of other states that have created a Reproductive Equity Fund to ensure that providers, abortion funds, patients, and others have reliable and stable funding to continue to provide reproductive healthcare.

• Protect immigrant communities. Delaware officials can refuse to cooperate with dragnet immigration raids that the Trump administration may begin. In addition, the Attorney General can release guidance to prosecutors to ensure they are aware of the consequences of minor criminal convictions on a person’s immigration status, and coordinate relief to families that may be targeted by mass raids.

• Dissent is patriotic. Over the next days, weeks, months, and years, many people may engage in protected First Amendment dissent but could find themselves targeted by a retributive Trump administration. Local officials can issue guidance reaffirming protections for our right to speak and express ourselves, free from government interference.

We have never been better prepared to fight for our rights than we are now. We stand ready to work with our local elected officials to protect Delawareans’ fundamental rights, and we invite concerned residents to join us. The ACLU has existed for over 100 years through multiple presidential administrations, judicial crises, and domestic upheaval, and our work will continue no matter what the future may hold. ▼

The Fight to Protect LGBTQIA+ Youth Is in Our Hands

BY VIENNA CAVAZOS (they/them) Diversity Lead & LGBTQIA+ Public Policy Specialist at Bulletproof Pride

On Tuesday, November 5, Americans across the country went to the polls, re-electing Donald J. Trump as the 47th President of the United States.

While some of us were just relieved to see an end to the barrage of political ads against Kamala Harris, Donald Trump, Bob Casey, and Dave McCormick, many of us woke up Wednesday feeling sad, upset, or afraid.

It’s okay to be scared, to feel upset, and to be uncertain about what happens next. For months, advocates and organizations have been preparing for a possible Trump return and its implications for LGBTQIA+ rights.

Organizations have been working around the clock since November 5, but ultimately the fight is in our hands. A better tomorrow is possible—we just have to fight for it.

President-Elect Trump ran a campaign

fueled by fear—fear of LGBTQIA+ people, immigrants, racial equality, and more. He called for the rollback of many rights, especially targeting our trans siblings. He vowed to ban gender-affirming care for transgender youth, federally redefine gender to include only male and female, and enforce policies against trans youth participation in sports and LGBTQ-inclusive education. He has also indicated plans to reverse Title IX protections that President Biden

implemented to safeguard LGBTQIA+ youth.

Since 2016, attacks on LGBTQIA+ youth rights have been unrelenting, with blows at both the federal and state levels. These attacks have escalated so far that, on December 4, 2024, the Supreme Court heard US v. Skrmetti, a case that will impact transgender rights nationwide by determining whether or not a ban on gender-affirming care for youth is unconstitutional. Currently, around 27 states ban gender-affirming care, and 23 have some form of restrictions on trans youth sports. With Trump’s re-election and a Republican House and Senate, many fear these attacks will only get worse.

If acted upon, Project 2025—a far-right plan for the next Republican president—would severely erode LGBTQIA+ rights. The plan prioritizes the “biblically based” family structure, which may challenge the right to LGBTQIA+ marriage. It also threatens to eliminate federal protections for LGBTQIA+ people altogether.

Despite all this, we’re not going anywhere. As Kamala Harris reminded us in her concession speech, “This is not a time to throw up our hands. This is a time to roll up our sleeves. This is a time to organize, to mobilize, and to

stay engaged for the sake of freedom and justice and the future we can build together.” She’s right. Today, tomorrow, however long it takes, we rest. Then, we get back up, believe change is possible, and do the work.

In Trump’s second term, we will need strong state and local leadership more than ever. The fight is in our hands. We’ll need school board members to protect public education, municipal leaders to defend their communities, and state legislators to protect voting rights, expand abortion care, champion climate action, and secure trans healthcare. Delaware must stand firm in defending LGBTQIA+ rights, public education, undocumented immigrants, abortion care, climate policies, and voting rights—everything important to us that upholds a true democracy for the people.

While there is a lot to be worried about, November 5 also brought some wins. Here in Delaware, Sarah McBride became the first transgender woman elected to Congress. In Texas, Julie Johnson became the first out LGBTQ person from the South elected to Congress, and Emily Randall in Washington became the first out queer Latina elected. Tammy Baldwin’s reelection in Wisconsin will make her

the only LGBTQ Senator in January. Maryland and Delaware elected Angela Alsobrooks and Lisa Blunt Rochester, marking the first time two Black women will serve in the Senate. In New Jersey, Andy Kim became the first Korean American elected to the Senate.

Though the present feels bleak, I believe that if we fight for it, the future— even if it’s far off—can be bright.

As a trans person, the most powerful thing we can do right now is survive. The Trump administration aims to define transgender people out of existence, so simply existing is an act of resistance. Our community’s love and support are our greatest resources. We survived his first term; we will survive his second.

We are a resilient community. We must keep fighting, keep organizing, and keep leading —because in times of darkness, where the deck of hate seems stacked against us, we still have our wall of love. We’ve faced challenges and discrimination, but we’ve endured.

Now, more than ever, let’s stand up for what is right. We know that the principles of America are built on hope. And with hope, anything is possible.

We are proud to be Americans, and we’re going to keep fighting for an America that is proud to have us in it. ▼

View Point

Trump’s Illusory Mandate

Trans Folk Are the Canaries in the Coal Mine

Just because our country is about to be overrun by a crazed gang of ignorant hooligans is no reason to be unpleasant.

On the other hand, we need to put down our smartphones occasionally and get some exercise. We don’t have to be as nasty as Trump henchmen like Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller to organize a broad-based resistance to fascism. We need only remember our brave ancestors.

When televangelist Kenneth Copeland said after the election, “No more rainbow flags,” he was asserting a false narrative that the election result authorized Christian supremacy, in violation of the Establishment Clause. And Republicans call Democrats out of touch.

Set aside the fact that Copeland’s version of Christianity bears little resemblance to Gospel teachings. His triumphal declaration is one of many noxious policies that were nowhere on the ballot, but which Trump & Co. claim a mandate to impose.

The fraudster in chief claims “an unprecedented and powerful mandate” though his popular vote total was short of a majority. To be sure, he is not the first person of modest endowments to resort to exaggeration. He is, however, the first to assert backing for sweeping changes to the structure of our government—possibly in fulfillment of the old Washington quip, “If it ain’t broke, break it.”

Furthermore, Trump is not the only person who won election on November 5. Senators-elect include Democrats Lisa Blunt Rochester of Delaware, Angela Alsobrooks of Maryland, Andy Kim of New Jersey, Ruben Gallego of Arizona, and Adam Schiff of California. On the House side, Sarah McBride of Delaware will be the first openly trans member of Congress.

We need to confront the problem of

the Republicans’ malevolent overreach. As one example, they have misgendered and demonized McBride and banned trans women from using women’s restrooms on Capitol Hill; they also propose to do so across the District of Columbia in violation of home rule. As another example, Trump calls Schiff “an enemy from within” who should be dealt with by the US military.

Those dedicated to upholding the promise of America are living proof of its brave, strong, pulsing heart.

McBride and Schiff have already made clear that they will not be distracted from their work. Let us take inspiration from their courage.

It is amazing how one word, “woke,” has been seized upon by so many people to indulge intolerance while striking a righteous pose. But no matter how much repression may surge, we live in a highly diverse society. This will not change short of genocide.

The thin Republican House majority prompted this Axios headline: “House Democrats prepare to make Mike Johnson’s life hell.” As well they should.

One thing we must do if our republic is to survive is to stop acting as if whatever voters decide is by definition correct and requires abject pandering by Democrats. Voters made a disastrous mistake in this election, especially those who stayed home because of unhappiness over Biden’s failure to rein in “Crime Minister” Netanyahu of Israel. When the ethnic cleansing of Gaza and Palestine accelerate with a nod from

BY RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

Trump, maybe those who withheld support from Kamala Harris over the issue will come to their senses, though I am skeptical.

It is the height of folly to denigrate Trump without recognizing that his years of assault on expertise have had a devastating effect. If we do not get our fight on, we will be like parents failing to stop unruly children from running around a restaurant. Crash!

The truth does not magically alter itself in deference to know-nothingism. Refusing to recognize the efficacy of vaccines, the reality of climate change, or the crucial role of immigrant labor in our economy will not alter the truth nor protect us from the consequences of denial.

In this respect, trans folk are the canaries in the coal mine. Falsely pretending that biology is only about genitalia to the exclusion of brain chemistry does not make it so. Doubling down on mockery and cruelty does not validate the lie about trans women being predatory “men in dresses.”

The bankruptcy of this cult of meanness is particularly stark considering the president-elect was himself found liable for sexual assault and chose several men credibly accused of the same for his cabinet. There is scant greatness or decency in a country where rape culture is celebrated with the slogan, “Your body, my choice.”

We must not be resigned to our fate. We are still creating this country.

Those dedicated to upholding the promise of America are living proof of its brave, strong, pulsing heart. For them—for you—I give thanks this holiday season. ▼

Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist at rrosendall@me.com.

1. If you need nursing home care, the nursing home will take your house.

2. If you transferred assets in the last five years, you won’t be eligible for Medicaid.

3. If you are already in a nursing home, it’s too late to protect your assets.

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The Writing Life

BY ORLANDO ORTEGA-MEDINA

The Journey Behind the Journey: Emerald Road

When I wrote The Fitful Sleep of Immigrants, I expected readers to connect most with Marc Mendez, the novel’s main character and narrator. But to my surprise, it was Isaac Perez, Marc’s partner, whose quiet strength and harrowing immigration story struck a deeper chord. Soon after the book’s release, I received numerous requests from readers asking for more insight into his past. What were the events that shaped this young man? How did he come to be the person facing deportation in that pivotal courtroom scene? These questions led me to write Emerald Road. At its heart, this novel is a queer coming-of-age story set against the turbulent backdrop of the Salvadoran Civil War in the 1980s.

Writing Isaac’s Story ⊲ Isaac’s journey is inspired by my partner’s own experiences, as he, too, fled El Salvador for the safety of the United States. As such, Isaac’s character in Emerald Road shares many parallels with my partner’s real-life experience. In researching the novel, I retraced the route my partner took from El Salvador to the United States, even visiting El Salvador to better understand the landscape and history that shaped Isaac’s world. While the novel is grounded in a real-life journey, Emerald Road is ultimately a work of fiction, with much of Isaac’s story unfolding in my imagination.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of writing Emerald Road was creating Ahbhu, Isaac’s almost-telepathic canine companion. Influenced by my partner’s deep love for animals and Harlan Ellison’s novella A Boy and His Dog, Ahbhu symbolizes the comfort Isaac craves as he navigates a dangerous and uncertain world.

Challenges

in the Writing Process ⊲ Writing Emerald Road was a marathon. As I fleshed out Isaac’s journey, new characters emerged, like Cashtōka, a Mayan woman who shelters him, and her daughter Suchipila, a fierce and determined lesbian who helps smuggle Isaac and Ahbhu into Guatemala. Their stories added layers of queer courage and

determination to the novel. But midway through, I hit a wall. Writer’s block set in, and there were moments when I doubted I could finish. Still, determined to meet my commitment to my publisher, I jumped ahead to craft the ending, then pushed towards it and finally typed those two cherished words: The End.

Emerald Road is not just about one young man’s journey— it’s about the strength of the human spirit and the hope that keeps us going, even in the darkest moments.

Themes of Identity, Strength, and

Hope ⊲ At its core, Emerald Road explores identity, inner strength, and hope. Isaac’s journey is not just a physical escape from violence; it’s also a quest for self-discovery in a conservative, war-torn society. As a young queer man grappling with his identity, Isaac faces both external dangers and internal struggles. His perseverance mirrors the real-life challenges of countless LGBTQ+ asylum seekers searching for a place where they can be free.

In a world where borders seem to be closing more often than opening, Isaac’s story underscores the universal desire

for safety and acceptance, resonating with the real-world experiences of people who have fled conflict and persecution. For me, Emerald Road is not just about one young man’s journey—it’s about the strength of the human spirit and the hope that keeps us going, even in the darkest moments.

Why This Story Now? ⊲

In today’s political climate, where issues of immigration and LGBTQ+ rights are as pressing as ever, where walls are being built, borders are snapping shut, and marriage equality is under threat, I believe Emerald Road is especially relevant. The novel sheds light on the invisible struggles of queer immigrants, particularly those fleeing war-torn regions. It offers a lens into the intersections of identity, belonging, and survival—topics that continue to resonate globally.

Writing Emerald Road has been a deeply personal experience. It allowed me to explore the complex history of Central America and bring to life characters who, like my partner, have fought for the right to live and love in peace. I hope Isaac’s journey will resonate with readers, offering both a powerful narrative and a message of hope. ▼

Emerald Road will be released January 14, 2025 and is available for pre-order on Amazon.

Orlando Ortega-Medina was born in Los Angeles to Latin American immigrants and studied English Literature at UCLA before earning a Juris Doctor from Southwestern University School of Law. His works include Jerusalem Ablaze, which was shortlisted for the UK’s Polari First Book Prize, and The Fitful Sleep of Immigrants, also shortlisted for the Polari Prize and featured on the Today Show’s “36 New Books We Can’t Wait to Read in 2023” list. Ortega-Medina currently resides in London, where he practices US immigration law and continues to write fiction.

Straight Talk

‘Tis the Season for Holly

The homes that are decorated for the holidays have been so for several weeks now. One staple of stylish holiday decor is to include some sprigs of holly among the wreaths, mantle greens, and table settings. There is another Holly everyone should know—Holly Lane.

If you find yourself dining at Café Azafrán on Thursday evenings, you will enjoy the voice of Holly Lane permeating the clatter of dishes and the clinking of glasses and she will even fix that Manhattan for you. Multi-talented, multi-qualified, and multi-engaging Holly Lane will fill the room with her smooth, soothing, melodious voice.

It is the season for both holly and Holly. Holly Lane has lived an adventurous life in the United States and abroad, and recently came out. This is a new season of her life, as she shared so freely.

“I was raised in the gay world because I was in ballet. As a child, until I was 16 years old, I attended The Academy of the Washington [DC] School of Ballet. We would have academics and then dance classes, several each day. There were 10 people in my class, nine girls and one gay guy. It was an interesting world, and it was all I knew…no

football, no cheerleaders, just ballet.”

Entering adulthood, Holly vastly expanded her horizons and understanding of the world in which she lived. “I moved to the Bahamas to dance at the Paradis Latin Casino. I met these French people on the beach. They were building a Club Med, and none of them spoke English, so they hired me as their interpreter for the building phase. I had to learn all these electrical terms in French that I did not know.”

She later was passing through Paris and looked up one of her old friends who was a dancer. “She suggested that I join the Paradis Latin cabaret with her, and I ended up doing just that. After a couple years, I went back to Club Med because I had a boyfriend there who was a ski instructor.”

A few years later, Holly moved to Annapolis as a restaurant manager. That did not work out so well. She warns with a hearty laugh, “Don’t ever be a restaurant manager!”

Then her mother asked Holly to move in with her here in Rehoboth. “We had fun spending time together. One thing led to another, people knew certain other people, and I became part of Shore Jazz as a singer.”

Being in a lesbian relationship was something she thought about, but timing is everything. “I must be a late bloomer!”

BY DAVID GARRETT

L-R: Ruthie Kloetzli and Holly Lane.

When asked if she had any sense that her straight life was not working out, she mused, “Well, most of my friends in Rehoboth are gay or lesbian, and I just noticed that overall, they were all so happy to be with their partners. I was mistaken for a lesbian in the past, and it never bothered me. My sexuality was on the back burner for a long time.”

It took Holly a long time to come out. She was happily single, had been married to two men, but straight marriage just didn’t work. She did not date anyone for over 15 years. As Holly shared, “I’ve always been around gay men, not so much lesbians (that I knew of), until I moved here to Rehoboth.”

She has been friends with Ruthie Kloetzli for 20 years. Holly declares with fervor, “We have a lot in common, we had a lot of fun together. After she got divorced from her wife a couple of years ago, we enjoyed each other’s company.” After some flirtation between the two, they began to date—and still do.

Holly lived a straight life most of her life, and that seemed the norm. Being in a lesbian relationship was something she thought about, but timing is everything. “I must be a late bloomer!” Holly also said in French, Il n’est jamais trop tard pour bien faire, which means “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” Evidently, the French have an expression for everything!

Holly misses her mother dearly. While death of loved ones is a certainty, love is always a possibility. Thinking about her mother, she states with confidence, “She would be happy for me and Ruthie.”

The seasons of one’s life will always change, as the seasons of nature do. Holly Lane is in a new season of her life, a season of love. ‘Tis the season for Holly! ▼

David Garrett, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, is a straight advocate for equality and inclusion. He is also the proud father of an adult trans daughter. Email David Garrett at davidg@camprehoboth.com.

Visiting View

BY ROBERT D e DOMINIC

The Cold (Kinda) Doesn’t Bother Me Anyway

Greetings Letters readers, Happy Holidays, Robby formerly from Brooklyn… most recently from Fort Lauderdale…but now, once again, Robby from Brooklyn here. Yes, I did just move back, back, back again to Brooklyn. And if you are like most of my friends—and even random strangers just meeting me for the first time—you are probably thinking to yourself something like, “what took you so long?” or “why did you even move there in the first place?” I hear you!

It’s like my friend Paula told me: “Florida is an absolute dumpster fire.” Or as my former AIDS Lifecycle crush Mark exclaimed: “Florida sucks. Period. Exclamation point.” And as former resident Michael more eloquently said, “Florida isn’t what it was when we lived there in the early 2000s. Maybe I’m just older and wiser, but Republicans have creeped their way in and taken over the state. As nice as Wilton Manors is, it’s unlivable long-term for gays.”

As I discussed in this column before, moving from a blue state to a red state was a huge leap for me. And looking back, it really wasn’t the right choice. I never found my groove. My social life was pretty lame. Finding and keeping friends turned out to be nearly impossible. My queer activism was virtually non-existent, and the job market was rough with substitute teachers being paid—wait for it—$15 an hour.

All was not horrible, though. I did have a small group of people I called friends whom I know I will keep in touch with. I loved volunteering at Poverellos, a food pantry/thrift store that provided muchneeded aid to anyone in the community needing a little help. I did get to freelance for OUTSFL—the gay weekly paper—and met some awesome fellow writers. And you can’t beat the weather. I loved riding my bike or walking everywhere around Wilton Manors.

Being back in NYC less than a week in the blistering cold I have come to realize that all things considered, I really do

relate to the lyrics from the Idina Menzel song in that blockbuster movie and Broadway show. No, not the one about the witches lol. Frozen where she sings: “The cold never bothered me anyway.”

NYC in the frigid cold is better than FLA in the sun and warmth.

OK, that line might be an exaggeration but being back in NYC in the frigid cold actually doesn’t bother me. NYC in the frigid cold is better than FLA in the sun and warmth.

I am more excited about my—not to sound conceited—already packed social calendar. Invitations to holiday parties, movie screenings, and volunteer shifts at God’s Love We Deliver. By two days postarrival back, I had received invites to two holiday parties. By contrast, I didn’t get invited to any holiday parties in Florida all of last December.

Finally, and not to get political in this column, but with Donald Trump winning the election and coming back into power,

NYC will be a far safer place for a queer person than Florida. Especially an ItalianAmerican queer person who is very dark and looks Mexican or Puerto Rican!

Hardly anyone who looks at me guesses I am Italian. Quite the opposite, actually. People talk to me in Spanish ALL the time. Just yesterday filling out a form the intake coordinator— unbeknownst to me—circled Spanish. The two of us had a good laugh when I explained that the intake coordinator just assumed I was Latino, and that it happens quite often to me.

Who knows what is going to happen in January once DJT gets back in the White House? Whatever happens, I don’t think it’s going to be good, and I don’t think living in a red state is the best option for me.

I already feel much safer being back in a blue state. And I already feel so much happier and lighter here in Brooklyn thinking to myself, “why did I stick it out so long in a place that really wasn’t working?”

But no Monday morning quarterbacking or backseat driving, second guessing, coulda shoulda woulda…. I went, I tried, I gave it a good shot, and for whatever reason it didn’t work out for me.

Robby from Brooklyn belongs in Brooklyn and is thrilled to be back. Robby from Brooklyn will keep telling himself that the cold really doesn’t bother him anyway. Robby from Brooklyn will see if he still feels that way after the first snowfall. Robby from Brooklyn will stop talking about himself in the third person.

That’s it for me this time around readers. Thanks for all the support and love you have shown me. Happy Holidays to you and yours. Robby from Brooklyn out—gotta go buy a winter coat!▼

Robert DeDominic is a queer freelance writer living in Brooklyn, NY. Follow this former English teacher on Instsgram at robb_dedo.

Photo by Mauricio Chavez on Unsplash

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1 ) at CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Appreciation Party: Jennifer Rubenstein, Robert West, Diane Scobey, Kevin Pelland, Kat Takacs, Mike Kluk, Will Freshwater, Chad Stover, Jeff Donovan, Kathy Wiz, Muriel Hogan, Brenda Dunn, Karen Anderson, Randy Fraker, Rick Buske, Russell Stiles, Patricia Stiles, Kathleen Taylor, Leslie Sinclair, Debbie Woods, Pete Gulas, Pamela Rule.

OPPOSITE PAGE 2) at Rehoboth Beach Holiday Tree Lighting: Fred Lopez, Peter Pizzolongo, Andrea Jaskulsky, Steve Jaskulsky, RB Mayor Stan Mills, Tony Burns, Bashir Amanat, Chris Gavin, Brooks Gavin, Griffin Gavin, Debbie Wolff, Gary Seiden, Jim Burke, Jeremy Adams, Lou Fiori; 3) at CAMP Rehoboth World AIDS Day Event: Cisley Turpin, Kevin Pelland, Nina Graves, Matty Brown, Tony Incalcatera; 4) at Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival: Joan Barber, Nancy Treiber, Peter Treiber, Jon McConnell, Riley Helm, Carolyn Mohr, Stephen Mohr, Jack Tomarchio, Maj. General Linda Singh, Doug Wilson, Cheryl Hickey, Lisa Black, Gordon DelGiorno, Kim Wilkius, George Farrah.

(More CAMPshots page 70)

(Continued from page 69)

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Drag Brunch at Goolee’s: Diamond Doll, Amethyst Diamond, Kadet Kelly, Ob Rivera, Mickayla Schwartz, Aleshia Boyer; 2) at Rehoboth Art League: Diane Stripling, Linda Wolf, Paul Christensen, Dennis Morgan, Philip Livingston, Paul Nye; 3) at Delaware Symphony Orchestra: Brian Cox, Konrad Nobel, Susan Hamadock, Marsha Levine, Ron Bass, Denise Kazzmarczyk, George Robbins, Loukis Kissonergis, Terry Stinson.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 4) at Coastal Camera Club Exhibition at RB City Hall: Bill Cheadle, Nancy Allen, Mark Houlday, Steve Licata; 5) at Condom Stuffing at CAMP Rehoboth: Mark Eubanks, Ruth Quinones, Kat Takacs, Kevin Pelland; 6) at RB Historical Society's Annual Meeting: David Mann, Bonnie Mann, Carolyn Horn, Sandra Skidmore, Lorraine Zellers, Sam Cooper, Cindy Lovett, Paul Lovett, Jim Horn, Joan Horn; 7) at Blue Moon: Alexander Westmoreland, Aloysious Duncan, Tim Erdley, Terry Isner, Adam Linder; 8) at Peninsula Gallery: Sophie Tripp, Ravee Padte, Arun Padte, Needam Padte; 9) at Transgender Awareness Week at CAMP Rehoboth: Jasper Stroud, Glenn Lash.

(More CAMPshots page 92)

OUTlook

The Fairy Girl

There is a wise person inside me. I’ve always known her, for as long as I can remember. Call her crone, gut, intuition—she’s always been there, as long as I listened to what she was telling me. Many times, I’ve had to learn the hard way the high cost of trying to ignore her, shut her up, or make her go away. She’s always been quite clear and obvious; it’s always been me who veers away.

When I was little, I imagined her as this small little fairy, a magical girl that lived inside my stomach. She seemed quite separate and apart from my imaginary friends and stuffed animals. She kept me safe, whispering truths about people to avoid, when people were lying to me, who I could trust. As I grew older, I realized that this wise little fairy girl was really a part of me.

Listening to her over the years has not always been easy, mainly because she always tells the truth. Sometimes that really hurts. She’s been an anchor, through a perilous childhood and dangerous youth, helping me so much to get my shit together and learn how to ask for help. Oh, and her work ethic is second to none!

She and I got shaken to the core this past Election Day. I know we are not alone—and thank heavens for CAMP Rehoboth and its Post-election LGBTQ+ Support Group. It’s taken weeks just for the shock to wear off. Lots of journaling, lots of grieving. Lots of internal reflection. The process continues.

My first reaction was to run to another country. That option is still on the table, but the wise fairy girl tells me to watch and wait. In the meantime, research, research, research.

The fairy girl tells me to armor back up. Certainly emotionally. I’m lucky in a way—I’ve lived through these kinds of times before. Many of us older queer people have. I’ve been name-called, spit at, been in bars that were raided by the police just for being gay bars, had bottles thrown at me. Maybe I can help

those who have not, to be braver.

But the truth is none of us has lived through this upcoming iteration of awful, so it’s going to be pretty bumpy for everyone, especially our trans siblings.

The fairy girl says to tune out the noise and the news for the holidays.

We need each other, more than ever. Our ethics will be tested. The fairy girl tells me to always do the next right thing.

Humor is crucial and the fairy girl reminds me of this often. Humor is great because not only is it fun, it’s also a great weapon. Bigots and homophobes hate it. Remember the pie-in-the-face Anita Bryant? Or Randy Rainbow from the last time, or dozens of the really funny performers out there? We need to laugh more than ever.

Let’s all get creative. In whatever way we are. I’ve been blasting music— not through the stereo, which is loud enough—but through the giant speakers

BY BETH SHOCKLEY

of my old PA system. Very satisfying, especially Hole and the Pretenders, and other drum-heavy music. As soon as my broken ankle (that’s a whole other story) is better, I’m getting back behind the drum kit.

I am safe for now. We live in Delaware, and look at the history our blue state made when we elected Lisa Blunt-Rochester and Sarah McBride to Congress. They will need our support more than ever in the times ahead. The right is using the same tactics they used against our community in the 1970s and 1980s. The same tired tropes they’ve always used. We remember and we know how to fight back.

The fairy girl is mum when I inquire about the future. So frustrating, but I know it’s the smartest thing. Avoid certainties, she tells me. Be flexible, but never forget to stand up for what’s right. Find a block where your people can find you, as Rickie Lee Jones says. I choose being a part of CAMP Rehoboth, and the support it offers us. I am so grateful we have this community.

The fairy girl says to tune out the noise and the news for the holidays. I will keep some tabs on what’s going on. I am a former journalist—I can’t not. But now that every breathless headline portends doom, what’s the point? I’m learning how to better cultivate my media.

Instead of doomscrolling, I will surround myself with my wonderful little family and my friends who feel like family in this holiday season. And I am grateful and thankful I have that. I hope everyone has at least some of that. We’ll need it in the days to come.

So happy holidays—from me and the fairy girl. ▼

Beth Shockley is a retired senior writer/editor living in Dover with her wife and furbabies.

Lesbian Out of Carolina Solution on Page

TALKING TRASH (and Recycling)

Sustaining Our Soils

World Soil Day was earlier this month; the United Nations identified December 5 as World Soil Day in 2013. This was to bring attention to the critical value of the earth’s top layer, from which we get 95 percent of our food.

Some of us who pay attention to soil health of cultivated land have heard that there are only 60 harvests left for the world’s soils. Some of these headlines say that we have 100, 60, or 30 years left.

An examination of soil degradation and soil erosion by Our World in Data does not confirm such dire predictions but does estimate that 16 percent of our soils may not last 100 years. In a world of growing populations, climate change, and rising temperatures, even a 16 percent loss would still be bad news.

So, what to do? In the Mid-Atlantic we are holding our own through regulations and sustainable agriculture.

Most of us have seen those black silt fences lining construction areas and the straw matting placed over graded land. Those are methods taken to prevent soil from washing away due to wind or rain. Sediment and Erosion Control is covered by the Clean Water Act and is a designated responsibility of Sussex Soil Conservation District. Contractors and owners are responsible for maintaining sediment and erosion control measures and use an independent inspector to hold their feet to the fire, but sometimes things fall through the cracks. If you see dirty water leaving a site, call your local Soil Conservation District and report it.

Farmers in Delmarva often use cover crops to prevent erosion and improve the soil quality. Instead of fully tilling the ground after a crop is done, the best practice is now to leave the soil undisturbed and plant a cover crop until the next planting season. The cover crop will prevent erosion, and many have characteristics that improve soil quality and nutrient levels. For instance, many plants will have deep roots that will aerate soils and others have nitrogen-fixing bacteria nodules that reduce the soil’s need for fertilizers with the next crop.

When you travel, whether to the Midwest or Europe, you may be surprised how many areas do not use the no-till farming methods that we commonly see in the Chesapeake Bay area.

Many agricultural organizations outside the UN support sustainable soil management practices, such as minimum tillage, crop rotation, organic matter addition, and cover cropping, to improve soil health, reduce erosion and pollution, and enhance water infiltration and storage. They have found that these practices also preserve soil biodiversity, improve fertility, and contribute to carbon sequestration.

Kiss the Ground is a California-based nonprofit working to regenerate land and reverse climate change through rebuilding healthy soil. They create educational curricula, campaigns, and media to raise awareness and empower individuals to purchase foods that support healthy soils and a balanced climate. Kiss the Ground also works with farmers, educators, NGOs (non-government organizations), scientists, students, and policymakers to advocate for regenerative agriculture, and help drive brands and businesses to develop more sustainable supply chains worldwide.

For those who are interested, the documentary Kiss the Ground, narrated by Woody Harrelson and available on Amazon Prime, focuses on regenerative agriculture and the mission to improve our soils. It is a good watch.

BY JEFFREY DANNIS

Farmers in Delmarva often use cover crops to prevent erosion and improve the soil quality.

On a Federal level, the US Congress dropped the ball and failed to pass a fiveyear update to the Agricultural Improvement Act of 2018 (known as the Farm Bill). It expired in September 2023. While it did get a one-year funding extension to September 2024, and some programs continue to be funded through December 31, 2024, not all programs have been extended.

While more than 75 percent of the funding in the Farm Bill is associated with nutrition assistance (including SNAP—i.e., the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), the remaining is agriculture related. I and many of my associates for years have encouraged Congress to include more support for regenerative and sustainable agriculture. Those interested in nutrition as well as global warming should do so as well.

I understand that there will be lots of changes in Washington in the next few months, but passing a Farm Bill—that should have been negotiated and passed in 2023—is one of the reasons we have a World Soil Day: to remind us that what is under our feet is worth advocating for. ▼

Jeffrey Dannis is a Delaware professional engineer, nutrient consultant, and certified composter. He can be reached at FitnessEngineering.net or at Jeff.Dannis.FE@ outlook.com.

SPOTLIGHT ON THE arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at the Heart of Our Community

Drawn Together: A Tribute to Keith Haring and AIDS Activism

On display through January 10, 2025

Drawn Together: A Tribute to Keith Haring and AIDS Activism opened at CAMP Rehoboth on December 1, 2024, as part of CAMP Rehoboth’s World AIDS Day commemoration. Visitors who participated in the walk to All Saints’ Church were among the first to view this vibrant exhibit. At All Saints’, a portion of the AIDS Memorial Quilt featuring Keith Haring’s panel provided a powerful backdrop to the event.

The exhibit showcases works created by 15 artists, ranging in age from 12 to 96, who participated in a special workshop inspired by Haring’s legacy. During the workshop, participants learned about Haring’s bold artistic style and his activism, channeling his spirit to create their own pieces. Additional contributions were made by artists who created works at home for inclusion in the exhibit.

The featured artists include: Sondra Arkin, Daniel Bartasavich, Sheila Exum,

Logan Farro, Robert Hill, Joann Hughes, Liliana, Luciana, Harold Marmon, Diane McGinnis, James McGinnis, Denise Poust, Duane Reed, Diane Scarantino, Josh Scarantino, Coca Silveira, Guillermo Silveira, Patricia Stiles, and Theresa Angela Taylor.

In the words of Keith Haring, “Art should be something that liberates your soul, provokes the imagination, and encourages people to go further.” These artists have done exactly that.

Roots and Resilience: Stories of Strength and Spirit

January 25-March 28, 2025

CAMP Rehoboth is proud to announce Roots and Resilience: Stories of Strength and Spirit, a dynamic exhibition celebrating the history, heritage, and creativity of communities of color. On display from January 25 through March 28, 2025, this juried exhibition coincides with Black History Month and extends into Women’s History Month, weaving powerful narratives of culture, resilience, and identity.

Through this exhibit, CAMP Rehoboth aims to inspire, elevate marginalized voices, and foster understanding and connection across our community. ▼

We invite you to visit CAMP Rehoboth Community Center during office hours to experience this inspiring tribute to Haring’s enduring impact and the creative voices he continues to inspire. ▼

Images

L-R: My Introduction to Keith Haring by Theresa Angela Taylor; Untitled by Logan Farro.

CALL FOR ARTISTS

If you are an artist of color, we invite you to submit your work for consideration. For more information and to register, scan the QR code or visit camprehoboth.org.

Join us in celebrating the rich tapestry of stories that highlight strength, spirit, and the enduring power of creativity.

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on DelawareScene.com.

PERFORMING ARTS

Mona Lotts Returns to the Theatrical Stage in 2025 - Part One

For long-time residents in and around Rehoboth Beach, Mona Lotts is an institution of the entertainment community. With a storied career that includes appearances on NBC, Comedy Central, and The Game Show Network, the former Miss Gay Rehoboth Beach has lit up the cabaret stages across coastal Delaware practically since moving here 25 years ago. What many people don’t know is that she’s also appeared on the theatrical stage, in both female and male roles.

of what we’ve lost is that it’s no longer focused on its origins: a male artist impersonating a female.”

Mona is quick to point out the significance of the origins of the term “drag.” In the Elizabethan era when women were not allowed to perform on stage, when you saw Romeo and Juliet, Juliet was played by a man—and so beside the actor’s name, there would be the acronym for “dressed resembling a girl”: DRAG.

In the year ahead, Rehoboth audiences will have the opportunity to see her play a trifecta of roles that encompass the full breadth of her experiences. Audiences will see her in drag, see her as the man behind the drag queen, and see her in the art of female impersonation. The first two roles are in Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, this year’s “Clear Space Gives Back” production— for which 50 percent of box office proceeds will be donated to CAMP Rehoboth. She will play both Loco Chanel and Loco’s male alter ego, Hugo Battersby. For the third role, she’ll play the sweet and insecure mother of Tracy Turnblad, Edna, in Clear Space’s summer musical, Hairspray. Over the course of a wonderful and wide-ranging phone conversation this fall, we talked about these roles and so much more. In Part One of this two-part story, we’ll focus more on Jamie. Come back next issue for more from Mona on Hairspray

“Drag,” Mona shared, “is so much more than putting on a wig, some lipstick, a dress, and some go-go boots. I want people to know that it’s an art. Part

In Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, the plot revolves around a 16-year-old boy who has found his calling: to be a drag performer. In the show, Hugo/Loco becomes something of Jamie’s drag mother. Hugo books Jamie his first drag show, helps him find the perfect dress, and reminds him that in every generation young people finding their voices as part of the LGBTQIA+ community face struggles—but they are struggles we can overcome if we find our community.

The story reminds Mona of her own experience meeting her drag mother, the Atlanta drag queen Charlie Brown. (In full disclosure, I saw Charlie perform many times during the decade I lived in Atlanta—and she was the epitome of great female impersonation in Atlanta for decades.) Mona laughs, “She used to torture me. ‘Someday,’ she would tell me, ‘you’ll be a drag queen.’ When I finally did drag years later, I called her. Because she was right!”

Jamie has the benefit of meeting Loco Chanel when he’s only 16. When Mona was that age, Mona was Kevin, and Kevin didn’t have a person like that in her life. I asked her to reflect on how Kevin’s life would have been different if there had been a Loco (or a Hugo) to take him under his wing. By this point in our conversation, Mona and I had covered so much ground effortlessly, but with this question Mona paused to think.

“I would have had less fear,” she said after a moment. “If I could have been Loco or Hugo for my 16-year-old self, I would have wanted to say to live your

dream and not someone else’s dream for you. We try to conform to what others think we should be or what others think might be best for us. Don’t let that take your dream away from you.”

By donating half of the box office proceeds from Jamie to CAMP Rehoboth, everyone involved with the production is committed to making sure that message is heard and valued. With her typical wit, when I asked if there’s anything she’d like to share about CAMP, Mona first said, “Not that I’d want you to print.” And then continued after a laugh with, “I’m just kidding. Every community needs and deserves a CAMP Rehoboth.”

See Mona supporting CAMP Rehoboth on stage in Everybody’s Talking About Jamie February 27-March 1. Or, until then, see her every Saturday night at 8:00 p.m. at The Pines. And look for more from my conversation with Mona in the February 2025 issue of Letters! ▼

Leslie Sinclair is a member of the Delaware State Arts Council and a passionate leader of CAMP Rehoboth’s visual arts program.

Joe Gfaller is Managing Director of Clear Space Theatre Company.

by Terri Schlichenmeyer

One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman by Abi Maxwell © 2024, Knopf, $28.00, 307 pages

“How many times have I told you that...?”

How many times have you heard that? Probably so often that, well, you stopped listening. From your mother, when you were very small. From your teachers in school. From your supervisor, significant other, or best friend. As in the new memoir One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman by Abi Maxwell, it came from a daughter.

When she was pregnant, Abi Maxwell took long walks in the New Hampshire woods near her home, rubbing her belly and talking to her unborn baby. She was sure she was going to have a girl but when the sonogram technician said otherwise, that was okay. Maxwell and her husband would have a son.

But almost from birth, their child was angry, fierce, and unhappy. Just getting dressed each morning was a trial. Going outside was often impossible. Autism was a possible diagnosis but more importantly, Maxwell wasn’t listening, and she admits it with some shame.

Her child had been saying, in so many ways, that she was a girl.

Once Maxwell realized it and acted accordingly, her daughter changed almost overnight, from an angry child to a calm one—though she still, understandably, had outbursts from the bullying behavior of her peers and some adults at school.

Nearly every day, Greta (her new name) said she was teased, called by her former name, and told that she was a boy.

Maxwell had fought for special education for Greta, once autism was confirmed. Now she fought for Greta’s rights at school, and sometimes within her own family. The ACLU got involved. State laws were broken. Maxwell reminded anyone who’d listen that the suicide rate for trans kids was frighteningly high. Few in her town seemed to care.

Throughout her life, Maxwell had been in many other states and lived in other cities. New Hampshire used to feel as comforting as a warm blanket but suddenly, she knew they had to get away from it. Away from her “town that would not protect us.”

When you hold One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman, you’ve got more than a memoir in your hands. You’ve also got a white-hot story that seethes with anger and rightful resentment, that wails for a hurt child and rattles the bars of injustice. And yet, it coos over love of place, but in a confused manner, as if these things don’t belong together.

Author Abi Maxwell is honest with readers, taking full responsibility for not listening to what her preschooler was saying-not-saying, and she lets you see her emotions and her worst points. In the midst of her community-wide fight, she reveals how the discrimination Greta endured affected Maxwell’s marriage and her health—all of which give a reader the sense that they’re not being sold a tall tale.

Read this book, and outrage becomes familiar enough that it’s yours, too. Read One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman, and share it. This is a book you’ll tell others about. ▼

Terri Schlichenmeyer’s third book, The Book of Facts and Trivia: Science, came out in September 2024.

Celebrity Interview

John Duff Chats

Showgirls Inspirations, Diving into OnlyFans, & Kicking Down Industry Doors

Whether it’s the summer anthem “Be Your Girl,” the love letter to his mother, “Suzy Cutie,” or even the dance floor stomper “High Heels” (with vocals by Tony-winner Lillias White), John Duff is going to keep us talking. With his latest release, “Stick Up,” Duff is offering commentary on the world today in the most smoldering way possible and at the same time, jumping into the world of OnlyFans.

MICHAEL COOK: Your new track, “Stick Up,” is truly an event and a larger than life splashy one at that! A go-go boy/ bank robbery-style big video is definitely not something we see every day in terms of music videos!

JOHN DUFF: My favorite movie is Showgirls and when I first approached Brett (Loudermilk) and Zain (Curtis) about making this video, Showgirls came up. There are so many things that I love about Showgirls. It’s so sexy, and the plot changes every couple of minutes with the unexpected happening. I also knew that the song is about the adage “believing the politician cares is like believing the stripper likes you.”

MC: There is always an element of burlesque-style sexiness in your work, and now you are releasing a truly revealing version of the video for “Stick Up” on OnlyFans. What made you take the leap to that platform?

JD: The summer I performed at Chicago Pride and opened for Natasha Bedingfield, I was performing for about 8,000 people. I had just spent more money on my performance than I made, and when I left the stage a very high-up person at OnlyFans was off-stage and said that I should join the platform.

I thought about it, then we went into the studio two weeks later and wrote “Stick Up” about that. That is what the song was really about. The meaning shifted, I feel, as time progressed.

MC: One thing about “Be Your Girl” is that it got a stunning remix courtesy of

the legendary Eric Kupper. Hearing your tracks, and male vocals specifically, on a dance floor is always a treat especially if the remix is done as well as Kupper did for “Be Your Girl” and other tracks like “High Heels.”

JD: Oh, it is so cool! My manager laughs at me because he throws out all sorts of DJ names to work with and I just have a propensity for the 90s icons! It’s amazing to hand off something and get back their version. I am thrilled to always have anyone else’s spin on it. Sometimes I don’t even like the remix up front, but I trust the people and I put it out and I might end up liking it more than the real song! MC: You bring up an interesting point…. JD: I come into this whole thing with no one ever telling me “yes.” I wonder what the world would have looked like had people told me “yes,” because to this day still I am the only one telling me “yes.” There has been no door opened for me—I just keep kicking it!

BY MICHAEL COOK

MC: There is something to be said about kicking down doors and making space for yourself. You are getting a Broadway icon like Lillias White on your projects, so you are doing something right. Hearing her belt on your single “High Heels” is just sublime….

JD: She’s a real musician and singer and she heard the songs and thought they were good. That was the bottom line there. She looked at the lyrics and said, “Wow these are actually really good.” Her being so tight with Cy Coleman and so many writers that I looked up to, that is all the validation that I needed.

MC: The events of the last few weeks are resulting in people putting their creativity and their art first and foremost. What is your own plan to get through the next sure-to-be-challenging four years?

JD: I wrote “Stick Up” in July because I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming. I’m feeling for all of the people who didn’t have that awareness of where we were in the world because of the bubbles that we live in and these containers. I kind of knew, so my process had already begun; “Stick Up” is the first piece of that.

For me as an artist, it has always been about what I can do to liberate myself. What can I create that isn’t there, what thing is going to help me find out something more about myself? Because as Marianne Williamson said, “When we liberate ourselves, we automatically liberate others in the process.” It’s just about carrying on fearlessly and for me real joy, happiness, and celebration is still perseverance.  ▼

Follow John Duff on Instagram: instagram.com/iamjohnduff/?hl=en

Follow John Duff on OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/iamjohnduff

Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct Magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News.

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP

CAMP Library Chronicles

BY GLENN LASH

Join today to support our mission!

RAINBOW MEMBERS RECEIVE:

• Basic Membership Package

- Advance ticket sales to CAMP Rehoboth events

- Recognition in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

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- Weekly “What’s Happening at CAMP” email

• Discount on CAMP Rehoboth Event Tickets for Levels Green and above (as noted)

• Free Health Screenings, Counseling Services, and Support Groups

• Youth, Adult and Senior Programs, Services and Outreach

• The satisfaction of knowing you are helping others!

PAY ANNUALLY or MONTHLY

☐ PURPLE LEVEL ☐ $2400 annual or ☐ $200 monthly Basic + 25% ticket discount and one 1/4 page ad in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

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Books: the Gifts That Keep on Giving

“No, I do like Christmas on the whole…. In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill…. But oh, it is clumsier every year.”

–E.M. FORSTER,

ENGLISH AUTHOR

As a wee lad, my Grandmom would give me a picture book each Christmas. She basically kickstarted this “Gay Parade” known as Glenn by introducing me to Peter Pan. I have continued the tradition with my grand-nieces and -nephews. Do they call?

No. But, I digress….

Be brave and gift an LGBTQ-themed picture book. Even the classic Golden Book series has become an ally with My Little Golden Book About Pride (2025) by Kyle Lukoff. My friend George Huber (former music librarian at Swarthmore College) suggested Santa’s Husband (2017) by Daniel Kibblesmith (it’s in CAMP’s Library). The illustrations are top notch and it’s the real story of Santa.

Or be subversive. How about books by LGBTQ icons: The Sissy Duckling (2002) by Harvey Fierstein or Amelia and Eleanor Go for a Ride (1999) by Pam Muñoz. The latter is based on a true story and beautifully illustrated.

Even board books for the toddler set are in on the act. The Tinyville Town series has I’m a Librarian by Brian Biggs. Get this: the only inkling that there’s anything LGBTQ going on is found on the first and last pages. The librarian is seen rising from bed to start his day and then retiring to bed at the end of his day. Already asleep in the bed is his husband. So sweet.

The CAMP Library has several Christmas-themed titles for adults. The classic Holidays on Ice (1997) by David Sedaris—a tad on the bitter side but folks seem to love it. And a collection of short stories, Upon a Midnight Clear (2004), edited by Greg Herren. Realizing there were no LGBTQ Christmas stories, he gathered some top gay authors like Felice Picano and Jay Quinn. The result—this one-of-a-kind anthology.

Deck the halls with gay titles! ▼

Glenn Lash is Library Coordinator at CAMP Rehoboth.

Historical Headliners

Picture Perfect: Berenice Abbott

Ahhh…to be in Paris in the 1920s, when artists, writers, performers, and musicians from around the world made the city the center of cultural experimentation, radical ideas, and, let’s face it, uninhibited fun. And if you were an artist, writer, performer, or musician anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, Paris was your playground, your inspiration, your freedom.

No doubt you’re familiar with the famous names who populated Paris in the twenties: Josephine Baker, Ernest Hemingway, Natalie Barney, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Gertude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, Sylvia Beach, Claude Cahun, Pablo Picasso, Djuana Barnes, and oh so many others.

Among this glittering crowd were a community of lesbians who epitomized the glamour of the era and the high spirits of independent womanhood in all its expression: butch, femme, androgyny, and the early expressions of what today we call nonbinary, gender fluid, even trans. Many could be found nightly at Paris’s famous lesbian club, Le Monocle, operated by the extraordinary Lulu of Montparnasse, who really knew how to rock a tuxedo.

Lesbians in this circle were among the leading lights of art, fashion, and the twilight world of the demi monde. The young American photographer, Berenice Abbott, herself a lesbian, photographed many in the city’s lesbian community, capturing the strength and defiant spirit of these women.

Born in 1898 in Springfield, Ohio, Abbott moved to New York in 1918 to study art, primarily painting and sculpture. She travelled to Paris in 1921 to continue her studies but met her creative fate in 1923 when she landed the job as darkroom assistant to Man Ray. Ray, known mostly for his experimental photography, was—at the time of his association with Abbott—a leading portrait photographer.

According to the exhibition statement of the Johnson Museum of Art, which exhibited Abbott’s portraits in 2022, Ray encouraged Abbott to take portraits her-

self but left her on her own to explore the genre and photograph her female subjects. Within three years, Abbott opened her own portrait studio on the Left Bank’s Montparnasse area.

Among this glittering crowd were a community of lesbians who epitomized the glamour of the era and the high spirits of independent womanhood…

Many of the women Abbott photographed openly identified as lesbian, though Abbott, perhaps because of her American Midwestern upbringing, was reluctant to publicly identify herself as such. Nonetheless, Abbott was very much a participant in the Paris lesbian scene, and the spirit of that milieu is evident in the portraits of the lesbians—and other members of Paris’s art and night worlds— she photographed.

Portraits were not Abbott’s only interest. She was deeply moved by the street scenes of French photographer Eugene Atget. She became a champion of Atget’s work through the rest of her life, bringing his work to the attention of a worldwide audience.

Though Paris and its avant-garde

BY ANN APTAKER

life had its charms, another fate awaited Abbott on a 1929 trip to New York. Her earlier exposure to Atget’s urban work opened her eyes to New York’s potential for expressive photography. During a quick return trip to Paris, Abbott closed her studio and went back to New York. During the next 10 years or so, Abbott relentlessly photographed the streets, buildings, shops, and life of America’s fastest growing city. She supported herself and this passion project by taking teaching jobs and accepting commercial assignments.

Recognition of her New York photographs came in 1935 when she was hired by the Federal Art Project as a supervisor for the Changing New York project. She continued to photograph the city, and eventually amassed over 300 photographs, which now reside in the Museum of the City of New York.

The Changing New York photos became a major book which is still studied in art and photography schools today.

Also in 1935, Abbott moved to New York’s Greenwich Village with her lover, art writer and critic Elizabeth McCausland. The Village was the city’s hotbed of art and radical ideas, in some ways re-creating for Abbott the free spirit of the Paris she knew in the 1920s. Abbott and McCausland continued to live together until McCausland’s death in 1965.

The richness of lesbian life experienced by Berenice Abbott, the loving yet rigorous eye she brought to her portraits of women, and later to her beloved streets of New York, reminds us that lesbians, indeed everyone in our LGBTQ+ community, has within us the free and creative spirit that makes life worth living. ▼

Ann Aptaker is the author of short stories and the Lambda & three-time Goldie award winning Cantor Gold series. Her latest book, A Crime of Secrets, was released in 2023. Berenice Abbott in an undated photo. Photographer and source unknown. https://www.nyclgbtsites.org/site/ berenice-abbott-elizabeth-mccausland-residence-studio/, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index. php?curid=61773671

reviews are in!

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~Robert M.

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YOUR JOURNEY, YOUR CHOICE

Springpoint Choice is a membership-based program for healthy adults age 55 and older who wish to secure a personalized plan as they age at home. As a member, you can:

• plan for long-term care so you can remain in your own home as long as possible

• avoid being a burden to your loved ones regarding your long-term care needs

• access quality long-term care and advocacy, if ever needed

• preserve and protect your financial assets

Boost your health and stay active: members enjoy social, wellness, and community activities and programs at Springpoint’s eight Life Plan Communities in New Jersey and Delaware. Each member has a personal care navigator who will work with you and your family when care needs arise.

The Sea Salt Table

Almond Butterscotch Biscotti

OMGosh! It’s December 20 and you still need lastminute gifts?! If you’re buying for a cook or baker, I (and expedited shipping) have you covered.

These are some of my favorite kitchen things. But unlike Oprah, they aren’t tucked under your seat in a swag bag. Imagine me pointing to you and the person next to you: YOU’re NOT getting these, and YOU’re NOT getting these!

But with some creative googling you can buy them. Let’s get shopping, shall we?

I’ve said before, the cutting board I use the most is the highest one in the pantry. In fact, mine is a thick block, made even higher by wooden feet. Those couple inches help me to not curl my back and neck overly downward.

Speaking of necks, I can’t express how much I love my cross-the-back apron. The straps form an “X” between the shoulder blades instead of pulling across my neck. It’s funny to try on the first time, but they’ll crack the code. I’m seeing more servers and baristas wearing these, and for good reason.

Do they love Mexican food? You can’t go wrong gifting nonstick taco and

quesadilla pans made specifically for grilling. They’re relatively cheap and add irresistible smokey crunch.

Are they into baking? How’s about some specialty bakeware? For example, I’m partial to my scone pan. It’s portioned into perfect non-stick triangles. And it’s not something I would have thought to buy myself.

Need stocking stuffers? Check out the little rubber doodads that cover the cut edge of butter sticks. I use them all the time. Or the little gadget that holds a stick to perfectly douse corn on the cob?

Or sets of dry measuring spoons and cups that include odd sizes, like 1/8 and 3/4 teaspoons, 1.5 tablespoons, 2/3 and 1.5 cups.

For something more high-end, give an electric knife sharpener. Life changing! Or for people who frequently bake with apples, get one of those peel-n-slice thingamajigs. Game changer!

But if all else fails, make and give these Almond Butterscotch Biscotti. They’re divine. Drop them in a cellophane holiday bag with frilly ribbons and you’re a gift-giving hero.

Let’s get started, shall we?

BY ED CASTELLI

STEPS

 Preheat oven to 350° and move a rack to the center.

 Whisk together:

• 3 cups flour

• 1 Tbl baking powder

Ž In another bowl, whisk together:

• 3 large eggs

• 1 cup sugar

• ½ cup melted, cooled, unsalted butter

• 1 tsp almond extract

Ž Stir flour mix into egg mix just until moistened. Then fold in:

• 1 cup butterscotch chips

• ½ cup slivered almonds

Halve dough on a floured surface and form two 12" x 2.5" ovals. Transfer to a parchment-lined sheet pan and bake 35 minutes.

 Cool for 10 minutes. Then carefully cut diagonally into 1/2" wide pieces. Lay biscotti on their sides and bake for 15 more minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack.

TIPS

• I find cutting these with a serrated knife works best. Use a slow, gentle sawing motion.

• Don’t have almonds on hand?

Swap chopped pistachios or pecans.

• Sprinkle these with a little sugar before the second baking to add panache and a touch more sweetness. ▼

Ed and his husband Jerry split their time between homes near Harrisburg Pennsylvania and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog Atticus.

Photo by Jonathan Pielmayer on unsplash.

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

(Continued from page 71)

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Mix and Mingle Singles Night at Freddie’s Beach Bar: Quinn Hittle, Austin Taylor, Dylan Kaplan, Jordan Crump, Ann Maresca, Kevin Buhrman, Nancy Maresca, Graeme Davis, Travis Jack Stevens; 2) at Theo’s Restaurant: Dan Baum, Nick Parash, Steve Hayes, Michael Brown, Jim D’Orta, Marc Chase, George Toma; 3) at Rehoboth Ale House: Joe Roy, Mary Roy, Dottie Cirelli, Claire Snyder-Hall, Mikki Snyder-Hall, Myrna Kelly; 4) at Purple Parrot: Michael Clay, Chuck McSweeney, Paul Frene, Chris Chandler, Josh Appleman, RB Commissioner Edward Chrzanowski, Joe Petrone, Shawn Evans.

OPPOSITE PAGE 5) at Iron Hill: Leslie Calman, Mary Boggi, Marty Rendon, Chris Bowers, Niki Snyder-Hall, Melissa Danskin, Lisa Soens; 6) at Aqua: Diana Messia, Joe Maggio, Kiki Angelos, Pat Coluzzi, Dale Sheldon, Jimmy Kane, Kevin McDuffie, Jordan Nally; 7) at Back Porche Café: Alexandra DuPont, Bryce Lingo, David Gonce, Brian Mendosa; 8) at The Pines: Teigan Hellman, Bruno Hospina, Cubby D’Orta; 9) at Diego’s: Bren Quinn, Steve Morris, Brenda Dunn, Karen Anderson, Sarah Stanton, Judy Peluso, Albert Sago, Manny Tejeda. ▼

The REAL DIRT

The Magic of Red Cedar

The Eastern red cedar (Juniperus virginiana), a tree native to Delaware and the Mid-Atlantic region, holds a profound ecological, cultural, and symbolic significance. Its adaptability, resilience, and practical uses have ensured its prominence in diverse landscapes and traditions over centuries. From its role in supporting ecosystems to its importance in Native American culture, European symbolism, and its association with holidays, the Eastern red cedar is more than just a tree—it is a living testament to nature’s interconnectedness with human life.

The Eastern red cedar thrives across a wide range of environments, from rocky uplands to open pastures, thanks to its hardy nature and deep root system. This evergreen conifer plays a vital ecological role in stabilizing soil, preventing erosion, and improving degraded lands.

Wildlife greatly benefits from the tree as well. Its dense foliage provides year-round shelter for birds and small mammals, while its blue, berry-like cones (sometimes miscalled berries) are a crucial food source during winter months. Over 50 bird species, including cedar waxwings, feast on the tree’s fruits, which are also consumed by mammals such as raccoons and foxes. Moreover, the tree serves as a nesting site for many bird species, including owls and robins, offering protection from predators.

The Eastern red cedar holds a sacred place in the traditions of many Native American tribes. It is often regarded as a symbol of protection, purification, and healing. Its aromatic wood and foliage are used in spiritual ceremonies, where they are burned as incense to cleanse spaces of negative energy and invite positive forces. The tree’s smoke is believed to carry prayers to the Creator and foster a connection between the physical and spiritual worlds.

Native Americans also utilized the tree for its medicinal properties. The leaves and cones were used to create infusions and wrappings to treat ailments such as colds, fevers, and infections. Some tribes

chewed the cones for their antiseptic qualities or brewed them into teas to promote overall health.

Additionally, the Eastern red cedar was valued for its durable wood, which was crafted into tools, bows, and housing materials. Its resistance to decay made it ideal for constructing long-lasting struc-

Over 50 bird species, including cedar waxwings, feast on the tree’s fruits…[and] the tree serves as a nesting site for many bird species…

tures. The tree’s spiritual and practical importance underscores its integral role in the lives of Native American communities.

When European settlers arrived in North America, they brought with them their own interpretations of cedar’s significance, shaped by centuries of symbolism. In European traditions, cedar trees were associated with strength, immortality, and protection. The cedar tree’s association with longevity stems from its durability and the enduring fragrance of its wood. European settlers often planted cedars near homes and cemeteries, believing the tree would ward off evil spirits and protect the dead. This practice mirrored ancient customs in Europe, where cedar branches were used in rituals to purify and bless spaces.

In Christian traditions, the cedar is frequently mentioned in the Bible as a sym-

BY ERIC W. WAHL

bol of divine strength and permanence. This spiritual connection contributed to its prominence in religious ceremonies and sacred architecture, such as the use of cedar wood for altars and carvings.

The Eastern red cedar is a quintessential part of holiday celebrations, particularly in the United States. Before the widespread adoption of fir and spruce trees as Christmas decorations, families often used the Eastern red cedar as their holiday tree. Its dense, aromatic foliage and symmetrical shape made it an appealing choice for adorning homes with festive cheer.

Cedar branches are also popular for crafting holiday wreaths, garlands, and centerpieces. Their pleasant scent evokes a sense of warmth and nostalgia, making them a favorite during the winter season. Beyond their decorative appeal, the branches symbolize eternal life, a theme central to many winter solstice celebrations across cultures.

In modern times, the Eastern red cedar continues to be cherished for its rustic charm and connection to heritage. Whether used as a Christmas tree, in festive crafts, or simply admired in its natural habitat, the cedar embodies the spirit of renewal and togetherness.

The Eastern red cedar is a remarkable tree that bridges ecological, cultural, and symbolic realms. Its ability to support wildlife and restore degraded lands highlights its environmental importance. Simultaneously, its role in Native American ceremonies, European traditions, and holiday customs underscores its deep-rooted cultural significance. As we celebrate this versatile and enduring tree, we are reminded of the intricate relationships between humans and the natural world—a bond that the Eastern red cedar has nurtured for centuries.

Be safe, and have a wonderful, cedar-filled holiday. ▼

Eric W. Wahl is Landscape Architect at Pennoni Associates, and President of the Delaware Native Plant Society.

Richard Michael Ploff

Richard Michael Ploff, 82, of Washington, DC, passed away on November 15, 2024. Born on March 26, 1942, in Bronx, New York, Richard was the son of Robert Ploff and Esther Ploff (Rothkin). He is survived by his loving partner of 40 years, Bradley Joseph Boswell; three devoted daughters, Randi Sue Ploff, Kimberly Ann Levine (Steven), and Jennifer Lynn Ressa (Carl); and five cherished grandchildren.

Richard brought light, color, and joy to everyone around him. He was a talented artist with an innate sense of style, whose work created spaces that inspired and made clients happy. With an eye for detail and an unwavering commitment to perfection, he transformed homes and businesses into sanctuaries

Shane Reeder

Sof beauty and comfort. Richard’s innovative designs and fearless approach to color and texture earned him accolades and admiration within the industry.

Known for his infectious humor and prankster spirit, boundless energy, and a heart full of love, Richard lived life to the fullest. He was always on the hunt for the next great meal, savoring every bite with deep appreciation. His love for travel, dancing, watches, jewelry, and of course a well-crafted martini, added to the zest of his life.

Respecting his wishes, Richard will be cremated and his ashes spread in the places he loved. The family has requested that any remembrances be made in form of contributions to Friends of Israeli Defense Forces, website: fidf.org/. ▼

hane Reeder, 53, of Washington, DC, died October 29, 2024. The love of his life, his husband, Jeffrey Paige, was with him. He was born April 21, 1971, in Lock Haven, Pennsylvania. He pursued his passion for design at the Cleveland Institute of Art, graduating with a BFA in 1995. His professional life spanned 20 years at Williams-Sonoma and then pivoted to a successful real estate career.

Shane was a curator of joy, beauty, and humor, and was one of those people who not only actively sought out meaning and joy in his life, but also gave it freely to anyone fortunate enough to know him. He had many passions and interests and treasured his time spent with friends and family. He was also a rescuer of people and animals. Whenever there was darkness, Shane would do whatever he could to bring in a little light.

Shane loved nothing more than to share his exuberance for life with those around him. He loved bringing little moments of happiness to those he spent time with, whether at work, at the Washington National Cathedral where he volunteered, or in his daily life with family and friends. Shane cherished both his given and chosen family.

In addition to Jeff, his husband of nine years, survivors include his parents, Candy Reeder and Phil Reeder, both of Lock Haven, Pennsylvania, and two beautiful children, Grant and Brooke Koenig-Hromoho, of Baltimore.

A service in celebration of and in thanksgiving for Shane’s life was held November 23 at Washington National Cathedral. Anyone wishing to remember or honor Shane may do so by donating to a charity of choice, or to the National Cathedral’s LEGO fundraising project for earthquake repair at cathedral.org/support/memorial-honor-gifts. ▼

Bonnie Osler

Bonnie Osler (nee Lois Bonsal Osler), 67, died at her home in Sandwich, New Hampshire, on November 20, 2024.

Osler, a former Deputy Mayor of Lewes, served on the Lewes City Council from May 2012 to May 2021, and was an ex-officio member of the Lewes Planning Commission and the Historic Preservation and Architectural Review Commission. During her council tenure, she modernized the finance committee, cochaired the ad hoc police review committee, rewrote the city’s ethics laws to be a state model, pressed for an inventory of the city’s property, and pressed for the conversion of the “paper streets” on Cedar Avenue to open space.

Osler was also active in various community groups such as serving on the boards of the Historic Lewes Farmers Market and The Greater Lewes Community Village, and was active in St. Peter’s Episcopal Church.

Prior to her becoming a member of the city council, she was deputy chief counsel for litigation at the Transportation Security Administration; before that, she was an assistant branch director and trial attorney at the Federal Programs Branch of the Civil Division at the US Department of Justice.

Osler graduated from Bryn Mawr College magna cum laude in 1979 and the University of Virginia Law School in 1984.

Among other things, she was known for her unwavering moral compass, adherence to the rule of law, compassion, sense of humor, civility, and gardens.

She is survived by her spouse of 34 years, Brook Hedge; her brothers, Jonathan Cary Osler (Jody) of Virginia, and Richard Osler (Kathryn) of Texas; a former sister-in-law, Anne Hunting (Ari Mintz) of Illinois; and many extended family and friends.

A memorial service will be held at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in early spring.

Memorial donations may be made to St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, PO Box 464, Lewes, Delaware 19958; Historic Lewes Farmers Market, PO Box 185, Nassau, Delaware 19969; Church Island Chapel, PO Box 356, Holderness, New Hampshire 03245; Squam Lakes Conservation Society, PO Box 696, Holderness, New Hampshire 03245; or Bryn Mawr College, 101 N. Marion Avenue, Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania 19010-2809. ▼

Barbara Ann Jerrell

Barbara Ann Jerrell passed away Friday, October 25, 2024. She was born April 23, 1948, cherished daughter to the late Rosa and Otis Jerrell.

After graduating from Glenelg High School, Barb earned her nursing degree in 1969 from Prince George’s Hospital School of Nursing. She was then employed at Taylor Manor Hospital in Ellicott City, Maryland.

In 1979, Barbara and her life and business partner, Eileen Talley, relocated to Rehoboth Beach, where they opened the first kite shop in Delaware. They loved being business owners and eventually opened five additional stores in downtown Rehoboth Beach. Barb was active in the Rehoboth Chamber of Commerce and the Rehoboth Downtown Business Association, and was instrumental in the beginning concepts of the Rehoboth Jazz Festival, the Sea Witch® Festival, and the Easter Egg Hunt. After retiring from retail, Barb became office manager for Dr. William Thomas and worked in his office for 15 years.

Barbara’s life was a testament to her kind and nurturing spirit. She brought smiles and understanding to those whose lives she touched. Her hope, optimism, and courage were always evident throughout her life. Her keen sense of fair play, respect for those around her, and wonderful sense of humor made her loved by her friends and family as well as those in her poker group and book club, two of her favorite activities.

Barb leaves behind her loving partner of 44 years, Eileen Talley; her brother, Mickey Jerrell; and many extended family. In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her brother, Ron Jerrell.

A private interment was held in Epworth Methodist Church Cemetery in Rehoboth Beach; a celebration of life was held December 3, at Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium, Atkins-Lodge Chapel.

For anyone wishing to make a memorial donation, the family suggests donating in Barbara’s memory to the Susan G. Komen’s Association, komen. org, or to Delaware Hospice Center, delawarehospice.org/donate. ▼

Lloyd Wesley Harrington, Jr.

Lloyd Wesley Harrington Jr. passed away on November 11, 2024, at the age of 64. He was preceded in death by his parents and his sister. A graduate of Laurel High School and former employee of the Laurel School District, Wesley remained a dedicated member of his local community throughout his life.

His identity as a gay man and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community was central to who he was. Wesley was deeply committed to creating meaningful connections and maintaining cherished relationships with family and friends. Though he faced significant personal struggles, he found a profound sense of acceptance, comfort, and chosen family within the LGBTQ+ community.

He is survived by his nieces and nephew: Danielle Levredge, her partner Ryan Evans, and their daughter Eywa Levredge-Evans; Emily Carlin and her wife, Steph Carlin, along with their two sons, Monroe and Lucas; and Dayne Mears and his wife, Stacie Mears. A funeral service was held on November 18 in Laurel, Delaware. Online condolences may be sent to the family by visiting hsdfuneralhome.com.

The family asks that anyone wishing to make a memorial donation direct that to Sussex Pride; the donation link is SussexPride.org/Wes. ▼

CROSSWORD PUZZLE SOLUTION

(puzzle on page 74)

Subscribe today.

CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Opportunities

ACCESSIBILITY

Hope Vella

ADVOCACY TEAM

Daniel Bruner

David Garrett

Leslie Ledogar

Sherri McGee

ARTS TEAM

Logan Farro

Jane Knaus

Lois Powell

Leslie Sinclair

Patricia Stiles

Debbie Woods

CAMP ADMIN

Sherri McGee

CAMP CHORUS

LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE

Bill Fuchs

Dianna Johnston

Carolyn Laurenzo

Judy Olsen

Gloria Richards

Travis Stevens

CAMP DATABASE

Sondra Arkin

CAMP FACILITIES

Carol Brice

Lisa Evans

Eric Korpon

CAMP LIBRARY

Glenn Lash

CAMPCIERGES

Joe Benshetler

Barbara Breault

Ken Currier

Adam EmelFirestone

Will Freshwater

Jim Mease

Kim Nelson

Pamela Rule

Mitchell Shahade

Patricia Stiles

Send your check for $50 to CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971. If you prefer to use your Visa, MasterCard or American Express call 302-227-5620. YOUR NAME PARTNER’S NAME ( IF APPLICABLE)

WOMEN’S+ FEST SPONSORSHIP COMMITTEE

If you have sales, customer service, and/or team sports experience, consider joining the Women’s+ FEST sponsorship committee! This team is looking for folks who can devote eight hours a week (January 6-March 28) to connecting with potential Women’s+ FEST sponsors. Scripts will be provided to explain what Women’s+ FEST is and provide a rationale for the company’s financial support in an effective and time efficient manner. No fundraising experience required.

CROP: CAMP REHOBOTH OUTREACH PROGRAM

The CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) works constantly to cultivate community and strengthen relationships and the connections between us all. Check the site for monthly volunteer opportunities.

Sign up at camprehoboth.org/volunteers.

Your volunteer efforts benefit you and others.

— PLEASE VISIT

camprehoboth.org/volunteers to register as a volunteer and to sign up for available opportunities.

thank you

Dave Scuccimarra

Russell Stiles

Joe Vescio

CAMPSAFE HIV TESTING AND COUNSELING

Dick Hospital

E.J. Kenyon

Sharon Morgan

Joe Vescio

CAMPSHOTS

PHOTO VOLUNTEERS

G Michael Beigay

Tony Burns

CONDOM

STUFFING PARTY

Mark Eubanks

William C. Graff

Jim Mease

Kevin Pelland

Patricia Ramirez

Doug Sellers

Jeff Straub

Kimberly “KAT” Takacs

Linda Tiano

CROP RETURNS TO THE FOOD BANK

Deb Carroll

Karen DeSantis

Max Dick

Daphne Kaplan

Jill Masterman

Timothy Miller

Kevin Pelland

Steve Scheffner

Jennifer J. Varone

Dave Walker

DEVELOPMENT TEAM

Jane Blue

Pat Catanzariti

Wes Combs

Mike DeFlavia

Amanda Mahony Albanese

LETTERS

DISTRIBUTION TEAM

Glenn Lash

Jim Mease

to all the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center Volunteers for the period: November 1-December 6, 2024

LETTERS MAILING TEAM

Nancy Hewish

Grant Kingswell

Stephen Palmer

Linda Yingst

LETTERS PROOFING

Barb Ralph

RAINBOW THUMB

CLUB

Chris Bowers

Carol Brice

Linda DeFeo

Patty DiModugno

THIS MONTH IN QUEER HISTORY

Beth Shockley

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

Valerie Johns

Marce McCollumMartin

Timothy Miller

Barbara Ralph

Leslie Sinclair

Jasper Stroud

Debbie Woods

VOICES FROM STONEWALL: ENCORE

Linda Dean

Marce McCollumMartin

Donna Whiteside

VOLUNTEER DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE

Madelyn Jablon

Marce McCollumMartin

Jim Mease

Kim Nelson

Rina Pellegrini

John Michael Sophos

Joe Vescio

WORLD AIDS DAY

Timothy Miller

Linda Miniscalco

Kevin Pelland

Kimberly “KAT” Takacs

AD INDEX

SANDPIPER VILLAGERehoboth. 2BR/2BA 3rdfloor condo is an end unit. 1,060sf Chesapeake model. 4.5 miles to Rehoboth or Lewes beaches. Near bike trail. $340,000 (2072724)

SEA AIR - Rehoboth. Newer 2006 16’x60’ 2BR/1BA. Partially furnished. Open floor plan. Community pool & 3 miles to beach. $99,900 (2072818) Lot Rent $672/mt includes water.

CAMELOT MEADOWS

- Rehoboth. 1979 3BR/1.5BA w/sunroom. Fenced yard. Deck w/retractable awning. Community pool. 4 miles to beach. $99,900 (2074074) Lot Rent $850/mt.

ANGOLA BEACH - Lewes. 1983 1,100sf 3BR/2BA fully remodeled in 2023. Furn. Community pools, marina. 10 miles to beach. $184,500 (2073060) Lot Rent $780/mt. includes water & sewer.

4 SEASONS AT BELLE TERRE - Lewes. ”Like New” 2023-built 4BR/3.5BA home w/full finished basement is approx. 3,800sf. Premium lot. Community pool & 7 miles to bch. $895,000 (2075518)

SEA AIR - Rehoboth. 1997 3BR/2BA. Split BR plan. Nice interior. Eat-in kitchen. Side deck. Community pool & 3 miles to bch. $90,000 (2069844) Lot Rent $704/mt includes water.

CAMELOT MEADOWS

- Rehoboth. 1972 3BR/2BA is 1,288 sq. ft. Fully fenced side yard. Main bedroom is en Suite. Community pool. 4 miles to beach. $129,000 (2071060) Lot Rent $1,080/mt.

ANGOLA BEACH -Lewes. Remodeled 1977 2BR/2BA w/sunroom. Fenced yard. Community pools, marina. 10 miles to beach. $128,000 (2073722) Lot Rent $686/mt. includes water & sewer.

SHIPBUILDERS VILLMilton. 2003 3BR/2BA w/ walk-up attic. Solar panels. Deck w/retractable awning. Fencing. Shed. 15 miles to Lewes beach. $290,000 (2074940) No HOA Fees.

SEA AIR -Rehoboth. 2013 RV w/main BR & 2 sleep sofas (sleeps 6). Nice! Big LV. Community pool & 3 miles to beach. $36,000 (2073114) Seasonal 4/15-11/15 Lot Rent $5,870

CAMELOT MEADOWS

- Rehoboth. 1976 2BR/2BA home was fully remodeled inside & out in 2011! Community pool. 4 miles to beach. $120,000 (2074132) Lot Rent $1,080/mt.

REHOBOTH BAY - Rehoboth. Water views of White Oak Creek out to the Bay. 1986 3BR/2BA w/VinylTech porch. Pool. Marina. 6.5 miles to beach. $189,900 (2064280) Lot Rent $857/mt.

SEA AIR -Rehoboth. 1970 2BR/1BA has sunroom w/wood-burning fireplace. Fenced front patio. Shed. Community pool & 3 miles to beach. $60,000 (2058494) Lot Rent $681/mt includes water.

FP. Fenced yard. Shed. Community pool. 4 miles to beach. $219,000 (20774942) Lot Rent $825/mt.

SHAWN’S HIDEAWAYMillsboro. Remodeled 1973 3BR/1BA. 1,100 sq. ft. Turnkey. Wrap-around deck. Shed. Marina community. $146,500 (2064756) Lot Rent $485/mt. includes water.