Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 34, No. 9

inside

THIS ISSUE

EDITOR Marj Shannon

EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE Matty Brown

DESIGN AND LAYOUT Mary Beth Ramsey

ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Tricia Massella

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions. Email editor@camprehoboth.com. Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi). Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date. Letters to the Editor (up to 300 words) are published at the discretion of the Editor on a space-available basis. Letters may be edited for length or clarity.

DISTRIBUTION Mark Wolf

CONTRIBUTORS: Ann Aptaker, Chris Azzopardi, Matty Brown, Ed Castelli, Pattie Cinelli, Wes Combs, Michael Cook, Robert DeDominic, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, Joe Gfaller, Fay Jacobs, Glenn Lash, Kim Leisey, Tricia Massella, Christopher Moore, Sharon Morgan, Eric Peterson, Mary Beth Ramsey, Stephen Raskauskas, Richard Rosendall, Nancy Sakaduski, Romeo San Vicente, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Marj Shannon, Beth Shockley, Leslie Sinclair, Mary Jo Tarallo, Eric Wahl

lLetters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization. CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended in any way, to imply sexual orientation or gender identity. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc.

© 2024 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in

form without the

written permission of the

Look Up! by Guillermo Silveira, see page 78.

CAMP REHOBOTH MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE

MISSION

CAMP Rehoboth is an LGBTQ+ community center determined to Create A More Positive (CAMP) environment that is inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in southern Delaware and beyond. We seek to promote cooperation, understanding among all people, and well-being, as we continue our to work to build a safer community with room for all.

VISION

CAMP Rehoboth envisions communities in Southern Delaware and beyond where all LGBTQ+ people thrive.

PURPOSE

Promoting the health and wellness of our community through a variety of programs including HIV testing and counseling, mental health support, fitness classes, mindfulness classes, support for LGBTQ youth, and building community and support.

Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking, and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of LGBTQ people.

Advocating for our community to build a safe and inclusive community through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates.

Education and outreach to the larger community, including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of LGBTQ people and our allies.

Networking resources and information by publishing a magazine, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

‘TFrom the Editor

BY MARJ SHANNON, EDITOR

is the season—Halloween (aka “Gay Christmas”) is almost upon us! To be followed oh, so shortly thereafter, by all the other fall fanfare. It can be a lot: a lot of prep, a lot of angst, a lot of—well, how about a lot of fun?!

CAMP Rehoboth—as always—has ideas about fun. For example, you can join with CAMP to walk in the Sea Witch® parade. Costumes are welcome; orange CAMP t-shirts (and other finery) are available. See In Brief for more.

Speaking of fun-at-CAMP—have you been by to admire the results of all the reno it’s undergone these past many months? If not—plan to stop in. It’s a brighter, lighter place and—more importantly—also more accessible and more energy efficient. Read about some of the renovations and upgrades on page 12.

Christopher Moore has been dabbling in seasonal fun. Having recently become more aware of present-day Halloween decorating (20-foot inflatables, anyone?), he recounts what he found at his local Home Depot when he went exploring. Eric Wahl offers a primer on selecting the appropriate wood for your wand; turns out some woods are more suitable to a given purpose—or person. Choose carefully!

More sources of fun: It’s a great time of year to be outdoors. Nancy Sakaduski suggests the perfect activity: geocaching! Read all about it in her column, fire up the app, and see if you can find one of the treasures she’s hidden. Of course, there’s indoor fun to be had, too. Eric Peterson recently saw Will & Harper and came away a fan. Maybe you will, too. Or maybe cooking is fun for you? Ed Castelli’s got you covered; see his column for some tasty fall fare.

Also in this issue, Terri Schlichenmeyer brings us a timely column on cemeteries—or is it graveyards? Mary Jo Tarallo’s feature is on tattoos—and the people and stories behind some of that body art. Stephen Raskauskas explores the meaning of Día de Muertos; he includes a recipe for a special bread you might make to honor the day. Pattie Cinelli introduces us to a death doula, describing a few times in her own life that being able to access the doula’s services would have been helpful.

Like we said at the beginning: it’s a lot! A lot of good reading.

In September, we invited readers to submit the title of the novel they planned to write during NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month; November). Patrick Hunt O’Hara sent us his. (Thank you, Patrick!) Watch for his The Worst Paperboy in the World, coming—oh, soon-ish?

PRESIDENT Wesley Combs

VICE PRESIDENT Leslie Ledogar

SECRETARY Pat Catanzariti

TREASURER Polly Donaldson

AT-LARGE DIRECTORS

Amanda Mahony Albanese, Lewis Dawley, Mike DeFlavia, David Garrett, Jenn Harpel, Kim Leisey (non-voting), Michelle Manfredi, and Teri Seaton

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Kim Leisey

CAMP REHOBOTH

37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | email editor@camprehoboth.com www.camprehoboth.org

CAMP Rehoboth,

tax purposes and may be deducted to the fullest extent of the law. A copy of our exemption document is available for public inspection.

This month, we’re asking for something really short-and-sweet: a haiku. There are lots of rules for haikus; we’re applying just two. See the box below for details. ▼

Holiday Haikus

There are many holidays these next three months. Send us a haiku (editor@camprehoboth.org) about one of yours. Fun, poignant, feisty, sad—you decide.

RULES:

17 syllables total

Arranged in three lines as:

• Five syllables here

• Seven syllables this line

• Five syllables here

Pride Student Pride Summit

The

Pride Student Summit—formerly known as the Anti-bullying and GSA Summit—is focused on celebrating LGBTQ+ students and the adults and allies who support them. This half-day gathering is intended to connect and uplift LGBTQ+ students, Genders & Sexualities Alliance (GSA) members and advisors, and allies who support them as they work for equity and justice. The event’s focus remains on fighting bullying and discrimination and bringing all students together. Register online at camprehoboth.org/events. ▼

Encore! Encore! Voices from Stonewall Returns to the Stage

CAMP

Rehoboth is pleased to announce the return of Voices from Stonewall to the Elkins-Archibald Atrium stage on Friday, November 15, at 7:00 p.m. and Saturday, November 16, at 4:00 p.m.

“I’m thrilled to know this show will be on stage at CAMP Rehoboth again,” said Fay Jacobs, who co-wrote and directs the show. “It was a pleasure to work with these actors on such a key part of our LGBTQ+ history. And to bring it to life for those who remember the time and those who only know about Stonewall as history, seems important in today’s world.”

Voices from Stonewall, written by playwright Michael Gilles and writer Fay Jacobs, premiered at CAMP Rehoboth in June 2019 on Stonewall’s 50th Anniversary. After returning last year and again in 2024, it’s back with actors Matty Brown, Gwen Osborne, and Eric Peterson.

The production seeks to educate audiences about the firsthand experiences from those present at the Stonewall riots, including the bar’s patrons, gender non-conforming folks, and the police who raided the now historic Greenwich Village site.

Tickets are $25 and are available at camprehoboth.org. ▼

Get Ready to Vote

Studies show that people are significantly more likely to vote if they make a plan for how they’re going to cast their ballot ahead of time. That’s why CAMP Rehoboth is partnering with Vote Early Day on October 29. Visit voteearlyday.org to learn more about the opportunities available to vote in person or by mail on October 29.

Outside of Vote Early Day, CAMP Rehoboth encourages readers to make a plan to vote on Tuesday, November 5 for the US elections. Every vote is a step toward equality, acceptance, and the future we deserve. Together, we can ensure that our collective voices are heard. Visit elections.delaware.gov to confirm your polling site, early voting sites, and more information. ▼

On the Cover

Gracing the cover of this issue are Janine and Richard Bond. Janine is a tattoo artist at HeartDrawn Studio and Tattoo located in Lewes. Asked what inspires her work in the studio, Janine said, “Life inspires my work in and out of the studio. Seeing everything beautiful that Mother Nature creates, alive or not—flora and fauna, growth and decay, history and mythology.” Thanks, Janine

and Richard, for being on this month’s cover!

For more on tattoo art and artists, check out Mary Jo Tarallo’s feature on page 46. ▼

Holidays in NYC

Join the next CAMP Rehoboth Bus Trip to New York City on Wednesday, December 4. We will depart from the Lowe’s parking lot on Rt. 1 (20364 Plantation Road, Lewes) at 7:00 a.m.

Tickets are $90 at camprehoboth.org and include a round-trip seat on the bus, some light snacks/refreshments for the trip, and driver gratuity.

Departure from our NYC destination will be at 7:00 p.m., with return to Lowe’s parking lot by midnight.

Spend the day in NYC however you’d like! Plan to see a Broadway production, visit 30 Rockefeller Center, go shopping for the holidays—the choices are yours. ▼

AIDS Walk Recap

Sea Witch® Parade— March with CAMP!

CAMPRehoboth invites members of the community to join us and march in the Sea Witch® Parade on Saturday, October 26! Dress in costume or wear one of our orange CAMP Rehoboth shirts. Rainbow pride feather boas and flags will also be provided. Help us to spread our community’s love and joy to parade attendees. ▼

SPEAKOut

To the Editor:

On September 10, I won the Democratic primary for the Delaware State House in RD 14 (Rehoboth, Dewey, and parts of Lewes), making me the first woman— and the first lesbian—ever nominated to represent the district in Dover. It was a hard-fought three-way race, and I am honored to have the endorsement of Marty Rendon, one of my opponents.

I have been active in DE politics for thirteen years, ever since we moved here full-time in 2011. In the first years, I worked for marriage equality, death penalty repeal, and protections for manufactured homeowners. Then, for five years, I led Common Cause DE, a non-partisan, statewide organization that works to protect and strengthen democracy.

On Saturday, September 21, CAMP Rehoboth participated in the annual AIDS Walk Delaware at Grove Park in Rehoboth Beach. The walk, which coincided with the International Day of Peace this year, was organized by AIDS Delaware and the Delaware HIV Consortium. CAMP Rehoboth’s team raised $1,955 and placed in the top five teams. As an organization that provides HIV prevention services, CAMP Rehoboth will receive $977.50 to support the CAMPsafe program.

Thank you to all who walked, donated, participated, and helped work toward a future free from HIV and AIDS. ▼

Through all those years of political work, I have developed a strong network of good relationships in the General Assembly and with ally organizations around the state. I have a proven track-record of success in Dover and will be ready to work on day one.

The 2024 Election is one of the most important elections of our lifetime. Choice is on the ballot, LGBTQ+ rights are on the ballot, democracy is on the ballot, and our quality of life here in Sussex County is also on the ballot. We need more healthcare providers, more funding for public education, and stronger protections for our environment, which is being damaged by overdevelopment and climate change.

We have a lot of other needs as well— for more long-term care options, supports for trans people fleeing persecution in other states, for people with disabilities, for the unhoused, for drug treatment and mental health services. I look forward to bringing resources back to our district, helping constituents with their problems, and being at the table when the laws are made.

Can I count on your vote on November 5?

–Claire

Snyder-Hall, PhD (she/her)

Send letters to the editor to editor@ camprehoboth.com

From the Executive Director

The Power of Advocacy

CAMP Rehoboth has a strong history of advocacy. I view advocacy as public support for—or recommendation of—a particular cause or policy. Some of the causes the Board of Directors, staff, and members of CAMP Rehoboth have supported include marriage equality; racial justice; safe and inclusive schools; reproductive health; ending discrimination, harassment, and violence toward people who identify as transgender and/or nonbinary; LGBTQIA+ culturally competent healthcare; LGBTQIA+ inclusive aging services; affordable housing; disability rights; HIV and disease prevention; and honoring human dignity. Through advocacy, the members of CAMP Rehoboth helped to transform Rehoboth Beach from a town of bigotry and hatred to one of respect and inclusion. Advocacy can advance missions, improve lives, and strengthen communities.

As we move forward into the outcome of the 2024 election, no matter who wins our county, state, and national political offices, we must always advocate, and we will.

Many in our community have shared that they are anxious about the outcome of the election. Worries, anxiety, and sleepless nights with racing thoughts seem to be common.

We humans do love control. Ambiguity and lack of closure can cause agita (one of my favorite words) without the agency to manage well. A friend of mine is known to say, “When you can’t control your life, reorganize your closet.” I am thinking there must be a lot of organized

BY KIM LEISEY, PHD

closets in southern Delaware.

Exercise, mindfulness, and meditation continue to be excellent ways to support ourselves through our own anxiety and worry. I am deeply appreciative of those who take advantage of our yoga and tai chi classes, and the groups that gather to talk, read, sing, knit, and share. Simple things like viewing the night sky and walking the dog can be beneficial for quieting our minds. My own rehearsal with the Southern Delaware Orchestra is a time each week when the outside world does not exist. My focus is feeling the music, our collective breath, and the sounds we create together.

Advocacy is one way to bring some control back into your life. I am asking you to think seriously about your ability to advocate. Individually we can advocate for our kids, our families, our partners, and ourselves. We do not need to rely solely on organizations and politicians to be our advocates.

Here are my thoughts about how we as individuals can be advocates and influencers:

1. Know what you want to influence. Know the change you would like to see and the outcomes you want. Set reasonable and achievable outcomes. This will ensure success. Change can take time—sometimes, a long time.

2. Know who you want to influence. Know what motivates them and what their concerns and priorities are. Understanding your audience can make your influence more compelling. Meet people where they are and then bring them along.

3. Get to know people and build a network. Who is in your network that will support you and what you would like to influence? Beyond friends, build a network of stakeholders, elected officials, community leaders, and other organizations who have interest in your same issue or similar issues. Your message can be amplified when you build a coalition.

4. Use different means of communication to influence. Know your audience. People respond differently to various methods of communication. Only using email or social media may not be effective for people who like in-person communication or phone calls.

5. Persistence pays off. Influencing can be a long and challenging process. Chip away little by little. Build relationships, gain trust, and celebrate the wins, no matter how small. Slow and steady can win races.

6. Stop and evaluate how it is going. This helps to identify what is working well and where changes can be made. You may need to adjust your strategy. There is no shame in that.

Post election, CAMP Rehoboth will still be here. Our mission will not change. Our advocacy starts with membership. I love saying to elected officials and business leaders, “CAMP Rehoboth is a large, mighty, and loving community. We have made life better for thousands in southern Delaware and we are not finished.”▼

Kim Leisey, PhD, is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

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President’s View

Man and Superman

Afew weeks ago, I was fortunate to attend the premiere of SUPER/MAN, The Christopher Reeve Story, a compelling documentary that charts the legendary actor’s path from movie star to tireless advocate on behalf of people living with a spinal cord injury and their caregivers. The film is a deeply personal and intimate look at life before and after Chris’s tragic horseback riding accident that left him paralyzed below the shoulders.

What many people may not know is Christopher Reeve and his foundation were clients of Witeck-Combs Communications, a firm I co-founded with my dear friend Bob Witeck. We worked closely with Chris and his foundation, providing communications and marketing counsel in their quest to find a cure for paralysis caused by a spinal cord injury. I also served as Christopher Reeve’s personal publicist for the last seven years of his life.

We first met three months before the May 1995 accident when one of my clients—Renew America—invited Chris, a passionate environmentalist, to serve as the emcee of their annual environmental awards dinner. Following his injury, the organization’s board voted to name an award after Reeve to honor his commitment to the environment; his wife, Dana, accepted the award the following year.

As I watched the documentary and this story of hope and courage unfolded before my eyes, I was overcome by a range of emotions as I sat in the dark theater. As someone with a front row seat to Chris’s journey as he adjusted to a new reality as a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic, I was privileged to personally witness how shifting your focus from “what could have been” to “what’s possible” can literally be a matter of life and death.

During the time working with Chris, I often wondered what my response to such an accident would have been. Would I wallow in self-pity or have a positive attitude and find a way to look for a silver lining? Even to this day the answer escapes me. Speaking from personal experience, what I do know is adversity

can be both emotionally devastating and at the same time a powerful motivator for change.

When I was 12, my father died suddenly following a brief illness, leaving my homemaker mother and me with limited

I swore to myself that being gay was never going to be a reason for others to diminish my self-worth.

resources. Financial insecurity became a constant cloud hanging over our household, forcing my mother to enter the workforce for the first time and me to work odd jobs throughout my teens in hopes of funding my college education.

On the flip side, most of my friends came from well-to-do families capable of providing them with brand new cars when they turned 16, and nice vacations. In comparison, I paid $500 of my hardearned money to buy a 1967 Chevrolet Chevelle—not the sexiest nor most stylish of cars. Watching my mother cry herself to sleep because of the situation, combined with a constant fear we would experience housing insecurity, left me feeling angry at my father and resentful of peers who “had it easy.”

I learned at a young age how to survive by adapting to what “is” because there was no alternative. Thankfully I was a good student, and my hard work was

BY WESLEY COMBS

rewarded: I was accepted into Georgetown University and received the financial aid necessary to afford college.

The next bump in my proverbial road occurred almost three years later when my two closest friends asked me to move out of our house because I was gay. Once again, not having a roof over my head was a real possibility.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I swore to myself that being gay was never going to be a reason for others to diminish my self-worth. Making a long story much shorter, navigating through life’s challenges made me stronger and more resilient.

The same can be said of Chris’s three children, Alexandra, Matthew, and Will Reeve. They have dedicated their lives to keeping hope alive by helping to raise vital funds on behalf of the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation. They made a choice to make lemonade out of lemons instead of becoming bitter and disillusioned. It is hard to imagine how difficult losing a father in such a public way was for all three of them; Will’s loss was compounded by the death of his mother, Dana, just two years later.

On my desk is a framed image of the cover of Christopher Reeve’s second book, Nothing Is Impossible, Reflections on a New Life. The publisher, Penguin Random House, describes the book by saying, “The legendary star of Superman…reflects on the power of hope and the limitless potential in each of us.… In these candid reflections, Reeve shows that we are all capable of overcoming seemingly insurmountable hardships” and “reminds us that life is not to be taken for granted but to be lived fully with zeal, curiosity, and gratitude.”

Looking back, I can say without a doubt that my life has been changed for the better because of the challenges I faced, and through the love and support of my husband, family, and friends. ▼

Wesley Combs is CAMP Rehoboth Board President.

CAMPNews

Doug Yetter Honored at ALLIANCE Concerts

OnSaturday, September 28, CAMP Rehoboth Chorus Artistic Director Doug Yetter was honored with the Clear Space Founders Award by Clear Space Theatre Company’s Managing Director, Joe Gfaller. The presentation preceded one of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus ALLIANCE Singers’ fall concerts. CAMP Rehoboth caught up with Gfaller on why now was an opportune time to recognize both Doug and Ken Skrzesz with the award.

CAMP REHOBOTH: Why was it so important to recognize Doug Yetter and Ken Skrzesz with the Founders Award?

JOE GFALLER: This year, Clear Space Theatre Company turns 20, which is a remarkable milestone. None of what this company has accomplished would be possible without Doug and Ken’s courage, vision, and inspiration to bring this company to life in 2004. Too often, it is so easy to focus on the success of the present moment and on the positive momentum leading us into the future and not take a moment to pause and reflect on the impact of those upon whose shoulders we stand. With my first year at Clear Space coinciding with this anniversary, it made perfect sense to allow this moment in our history to be a moment when we reflect intentionally on the good that has been made possible for two decades now as a result of their decision to found Clear Space.

CR: How did it feel to present the award at the ALLIANCE concert at the end of September?

JG: Since Doug was conducting the ALLIANCE Singers of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus in three concerts the same weekend as our gala, it wasn’t possible for him to join us in person at the gala the way Ken could. So, we were delighted that it was possible instead for us to present the award the night after the gala at the ALLIANCE concert, surrounded by so many members of his CAMP Rehoboth Chorus family. To me, it felt like a beautiful reminder that in every season of our life and our work, the circle of our impact only grows wider: in Doug’s case from starting at Clear Space, to continuing on with the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, to who knows what else in the decades to come. ▼

Aging in Place

OnOctober 30, CAMP Rehoboth is pleased to host a panel on Aging in Place. Areas of focus will include topics such as caregiver support resources, safety in the home, maintaining active lifestyles, and helpful information regarding living wills. Panelists scheduled to participate include:

• Ann DeLazaro, Director of Provider Services, Delaware Hospice and Palliative Care

• Chaplain Paula Waite, Pastoral Care Team, Beebe Healthcare

• Logan Vitolo, NICHE Coordinator, Beebe Healthcare

• Anna Moshier, Executive Director, Village Volunteers

Come with any and all questions you may have. Pre-registration is encouraged but not required. ▼

Volunteer Appreciation Party

CAMP Rehoboth will celebrate our volunteers with an appreciation social on Friday, November 22, from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. Any volunteers who supported our events, programs, fundraisers, or advocacy initiatives are invited to join us by registering online at camprehoboth.org/volunteers. ▼

CROP’s Busy Month

The CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) was busy and present for four events or programs in September.

First, on September 10, a group of 10 made CROP’s bimonthly visit to the Food Bank of Delaware in Milford. The team created over 1,300 backpack meals for kids. Team leader Deb Caroll reported, “The team had fun and even broke into dance with the music supplied.”

Then, on Thursday, September 12, three CROP volunteers supported the Overfalls Foundation’s Canalside Happy Hour, hosted at the Lightship Overfalls in Lewes.

Next, on September 14, six volunteers participated with other volunteer groups in the 35th annual Coastal Cleanup sponsored by the Delaware Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Control (DNREC) at the Rehoboth Beach site, picking up litter and trash on the sands.

CROP finished the month strong with a team of ushers welcoming attendees to the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus ALLIANCE Singers’ “That’s Life” concerts on September 27-29.

Thank you to all the CROP volunteers who participated! ▼

RENOVATIONS + UPGRADES

OUR HOME. Our Heart.

Often, the joy of receipt is followed swiftly by the daunting task of figuring out what to do with the item(s) received. That was the dilemma, but a very good one, when CAMP Rehoboth received Community Reinvestment funds from the state of Delaware, beginning in State Fiscal Year 2023.

Some early questions arose: Where to begin? How to plan and coordinate the multiple projects anticipated? Should the focus first be on important public gathering spaces—the atrium and gallery—or on the offices and administrative areas that are the hub of CAMP Rehoboth’s operations? Are the needs of the infrastructure, the less visible sewer lines, water heaters, and roofs and gutters, the starting points?

The decision was to go from the top down and first replace the leaky roof and install gutters.

Another basic and important question arose: Who would solicit bids, write the specifications, schedule the work, and keep the projects going every day? A call went out for a volunteer Project Manager.

Carol Brice, who coordinates the Rainbow Thumb Club and keeps CAMP Rehoboth’s grounds manicured and inviting, stepped up to lead this massive project. She was assisted by Lisa Evans, then on CAMP Rehoboth staff. Carol’s role as the Project Manager was pivotal in coordinating the diversity of projects and trades involved, and in scheduling renovations around staff and daily activities at CAMP Rehoboth.

Project management in place, attention could return to the roof and gutters. Make that “roofs.” The flat roof on 37 Baltimore had reached the end of its useful life and required replacement with an EPDM rubber roof in advance of the solar panel project (more about that in a minute) and the planned replacement of four roof-mounted heat pump units. Last summer, a new gable roof with 30-year architectural shingles with an enhanced

BY CAROL BRICE & LISA EVANS

More improvements are yet to come.

(160 mile per hour) wind rating was installed.

Getting back to those solar panels…. One of the most exciting projects was the installation of the solar energy system consisting of 50 solar panels. Needless to say, it was much less straightforward than that sounds. There are always unknowns in the world of rehabilitation.

An engineering assessment of the existing attic and roof framing determined that knee walls must be added in the attic for overall soundness and to handle the additional weight of the solar panels.

Initial estimates predicted an offset of 50 percent of CAMP’s annual electric consumption at 37 Baltimore. But results this past summer showed energy creation exceeded consumption.

Sometimes, the biggest and most essential projects (solar panels; heat pumps) are virtually invisible to the public eye. The heat pumps serve CAMP Rehoboth’s offices, the Atrium, and the street-facing commercial space at 39 Baltimore. These new heat pumps are more energy efficient and much qui-

eter—particularly in the second-floor offices of CAMP.

Moving from overhead to underfoot, one of the least visible but imperative jobs was the repair of sewer lines to the 39 Baltimore facilities. Pavers were removed, dirt hand-excavated, damaged pipe sections replaced, and clean-outs installed. Remarkably, all that work was completed in time for Lori’s Oy Vey Café to open for the season! Tree roots encroaching into the sewer lines will remain an issue for the future.

There have been myriad other renovations as well.

The facilities now are much more accessible, thanks to automatic door openers at the entrance and restrooms of the Atrium, and the installation of a lift at 39 Baltimore. Those were especially gratifying projects.

Additional cameras and a new alarm system were installed. Always, but perhaps especially in the current political climate, it is essential to have a safe and secure environment for staff and visitors.

CAMP Rehoboth’s offices were

Sometimes, the biggest and most essential projects… are virtually invisible to the public eye

well past “gently used” and in need of refurbishing. Now, they have a new lookand-feel, with dropped ceilings removed, new carpet laid, cooler LED lighting installed, and fresh paint applied. Public restrooms near the courtyard entrance were updated. Water-resistant vinyl plank flooring was installed in entrance areas, hall bathrooms, and the kitchen. Wood trim around doors was replaced with composite trim.

Converting all lights in the offices and Atrium to LED, eliminating inefficient heating and cooling units, and installing new energy-efficient exterior doors served to bolster the rewarding energy generation and usage results.

Funds also allowed for the completion of the Health Suite, providing a private and safe space for CAMP Rehoboth’s essential HIV testing services. A privacy wall was installed to create an entrance foyer and the restroom was remodeled. (These renovations were also funded from the Delaware Division of Public Health’s contract with CAMP Rehoboth for HIV testing.)

Under the guidance of Teri Seaton, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, the Atrium now has a state-of-the-art sound system, and LED lighting replaced its previous hot lighting. A more resilient stage floor recently was installed, along with new carpeting; these changes plus lighting on the stage steps make for safer transitions (stage-to-floor or vice versa).

A long-awaited highlight for the Atrium is the return of the Founders’ Circle wall. The colorful plaques were removed and stored to protect them during the Atrium renovations and floor replacement. During its absence, many members remarked that they missed “the wall,” but liked the new, unobstructed view of the courtyard through the glass. When the plaques were removed and cleaned, it was discovered that a number of them were being damaged by exposure to the sun and summer heat.

Considering the need to minimize further damage to the plaques, alternative placement options were explored. The prominent wall beside the glass blocks was chosen as the new site for the wall. It is hoped the new location has achieved a win-win.

Apart from the day-to-day, practical challenges of renovation (and its related, inevitable glitches), there was a major, overarching challenge: juggling and coordinating those renovations around the staff and CAMP Rehoboth’s daily activities. CAMP offices, the Atrium, the courtyard, and the businesses around the courtyard are vibrant places, particularly during “the season.” There are programs and events, art exhibits, and countless activities that bring community members and visitors to CAMP Rehoboth every day.

Construction work can be loud, dirty, and disruptive. Saws whir, hammers bang, and drills can shriek. Add to that

a high ratio of construction workers to staff, and you can have a very disruptive environment. There is no doubt that the patience of staff, activity leaders, and volunteers who manage the operations and make the events and services happen was stretched. Regrettably, several programs had to temporarily relocate or cancel during peak work periods.

More improvements are yet to come. CAMP Rehoboth is about to enter Phase Three of its rehabilitation, with the grant award of an additional $200,000, bringing the total to $660,000 from the Delaware Community Reinvestment Fund over the last three years.

Proposed Phase Three projects include preserving the building exteriors by covering exposed wood with products resistant to the salt air, replacing deteriorating windows on 39 Baltimore, installing all new exterior lighting on buildings and in the courtyard, and updating signage. Stay tuned! ▼

The Project Management team extends its gratitude to the staff, volunteers, and visitors for their patience throughout the rehabilitation work.

The team also gives a shout out to all who worked to get these improvements in place. The enthusiasm and level of support that CAMP Rehoboth received from the construction partners in the community was gratifying—and sometimes astonishing, given how in-demand and overloaded the building trades are in Sussex County.

Accessing Affirming Providers

Wendi Schirvar, PhD, LP, NCSP

The Yale University LGBTQ+ Health Initiative’s Training Program

Earlier this year, CAMP Rehoboth partnered with Yale University to increase the number of LGBTQ+-affirming mental healthcare providers in Sussex County and throughout Delaware. Over 12 sessions, CAMP Rehoboth and the Yale LGBTQ Mental Health Initiative—in partnership with CenterLink—facilitated a training program in LGBTQ+-affirmative cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Dr. Wendi Schirvar is one of the providers in Sussex County who completed this instrumental program; she spoke to CAMP Rehoboth about her experience.

MATTY BROWN: What is your role with Beebe Healthcare?

DR. WENDI SHIRVAR: I am a licensed clinical psychologist with Beebe Medical Group, and core faculty with the Beebe Graduate Medical Education/Family Medicine Training program.

MB: What did you learn from this training program?

WS: While many of the concepts in this curriculum are very familiar and are ones I have frequently utilized in CBT therapies, specializing for the LGBTQ+ population brought a specific lens of sensitivity to the experiences they have had in their lives, such as “internalized stigma,” rejection sensitivity, and how these early experiences have contributed to their developing self.

In turn, by having a greater understanding of these precepting stressors, I can guide clients in recognizing that the source of current stress may originate in earlier experiences that they are now transferring belief systems and thought patterns into their current experiences.

MB: Why is this training important?

WS: Persons who identify in the LGBTQ+ population face difficulties not experienced by the general population. As a provider, exploring LGBTQ+ stress during intake recognizes the unique experiences and helps differentiate diagnoses. Often, LGBTQ+ persons may be over pathologized when in fact they

are missing basic skills of learning how to cope with emotions. Understanding how internalized stress manifests and using a skills-based approach is more productive.

MB: How will you bring this training to your work and your role at Beebe?

WS: I have already been able to utilize the specific step curriculum with several clients, affording an ability to establish rapport earlier and align with their needs and goals. Participating in this training has also afforded me an opportunity to train other providers, including medical residents.

MB: What words of advice do you have for folks who are looking for a therapist?

WS: “Does the shoe fit?” It is important first that you select providers who designate as providing services for the LGBTQ+ community. Many search engines or supportive communities will designate providers. Psychologytoday. com allows you to select a provider by various criteria including their experience with LGBTQ+ clients.

Like most people, but especially for those who have experienced marginalization or have a history of feeling shamed and discounted, your first encounter should feel affirming, welcoming, and that you have been heard. Ask specific questions of their experience—both personal and professional—with persons who identify differently than them. You can also ask them to use your pronouns—which is often an indicator of a person’s comfort. MB: How can anyone support LGBTQ+ folks—especially youth—with their mental health?

WS: There are so many ways!

1. Start by challenging your own thinking/perceptions—are you aligning to binary presentations because of limited exposure? Is your thinking inflexible?

2. Listen—many times being THE person who someone can express their thoughts with will serve them even more than therapy.

3. Accept and believe them without having to solve the problems for them.

4. Help them find support. Access

BY MATTY BROWN

helpful websites. Know how to pass these on discretely and immediately. Take any statements or thoughts of harming themself seriously—take them to the ER immediately.

5. Affirm them—being LGBTQ+ is a part of their identity, but especially for youth, it feels like all of who they are. They may need space to explore different clothing, hair/makeup, and ways of presenting themselves. Don’t force choices on them because you are uncomfortable. Give them permission to explore without judgment.

6. Get support for yourself so you are able to process (if it is your child) and be there for them without imposing your difficulties. Be patient with yourself—you are growing along with them.

7. Using preferred pronouns and names is one way of sending the message of acceptance.

8. Dispel myths, such as “using plural pronouns for a single person is not correct English”—actually, many cultures use plural forms to identify persons in nonbinary ways. Or, that “their parents/friends/ social media made them this way”—not possible. And, that “gender is assigned at birth”—actually, gender is a social construct, mostly defined to support capitalism and further the development of a specific script of ideals.

9. Get active in communities that support LGBTQ+ persons—be the voice; celebrate diversity. This generation of children is expanding our understanding of sexuality, gender, and relationships.

Lastly, I would add, “You can embrace love or spread hate—you decide.” ▼

For more information about this initiative and the providers who have completed this training, visit camprehoboth.org/advocacy or call the office at 302-227-5620 to ask about referrals.

Matty Brown is the Communications Manager for CAMP Rehoboth.

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Dr. Alice Y. Wang, MD

GOING, GOING, GONE…

Thanks to Auctioneer Lorne Crawford

Imet Lorne Crawford the night he replaced me. I was thrilled. It was 2010 and Lorne’s first year as volunteer auctioneer for Sundance, now SUNFESTIVAL.

Since the passing of our beloved Ben Killebrew, who’d been auctioneer for many Sundances, rank amateurs Eric Peterson and I were tapped to fill in as auctioneers. We were pretty horrible at it, although the auctions went well because bidders were passionate to raise money for CAMP Rehoboth.

Both Eric and I were incredibly relieved when Lorne Crawford, with 25 years of professional auctioneering experience, volunteered for Sundance.

At the time, Lorne was pretty new to our LGBTQ community. In a great conversation outdoors in his gorgeous back yard at his home off Old Landing Road, Lorne told me he came out late, at age 48, in 2009. Having visited Rehoboth with relatives since he was a teen, he knew the welcoming culture here and started visiting frequently.

Lorne met Steve Elkins and Murray Archibald and they introduced him to both CAMP Rehoboth and Epworth United Methodist Church, two places Lorne now calls home. He met his partner, Simon Fares, 14 years ago at the Blue Moon.

Born and raised in Muncy, Pennsylvania, Lorne laughed as he told me that not only does he still own his home there, but until he bought his Rehoboth house, he’d lived in that same house in Muncy for his entire life—63 years. In fact, he purchased the home from his parents when he was 19 years old, then raised his daughter Taylor there and still sleeps in his old bedroom when he goes back to visit.

Those visits include checking in on and sometimes helping out at the Crawford Auction House, now operated by a protégée who had worked for Lorne since age 14 and now, at 38, owns the place. When Lorne retired a short time ago, he handed the place over to his associate and bought his Rehoboth home—only the second place he’s ever lived.

And once Lorne started weekending

here, then becoming a full-timer, he got busy. Following that first Sundance, Lorne continued to volunteer for CAMP at events like LOVE on July 4th weekend, and the Black and White Ball celebrating the CAMP Rehoboth Founders’ Circle.

Of CAMP Rehoboth, Lorne says, “I have never known an organization I’ve been so passionate about.”

“I love the auctions that celebrate artists,” Lorne says, “It’s such a pleasure to put their work in the spotlight.” He loves when CAMP volunteers, who he calls “my Vannas,” parade around with the works prior to his starting the bidding. Vanna White has nothing on those CAMP volunteers.

Of course, Lorne’s auctioneering doesn’t end with fine art. At one Sundance he auctioned off a vintage Rolls Royce, and at another a memorable quilt made from t-shirts representing more than 20 years of Sundances. He’s also famous as auctioneer for the Battle of the Bachelors (and Bachelorettes) each August, with this year’s bringing in a record amount for CAMP Rehoboth.

Of CAMP Rehoboth, Lorne says, “I

BY FAY JACOBS

have never known an organization I’ve been so passionate about. It paved the way for so much in this town. I’ll always be thrilled to volunteer when they ask.” While CAMP Rehoboth has his heart, he has also volunteered as auctioneer for fundraising events for The Rehoboth Museum, the local Democratic party, the Human Rights Campaign, and even has gone to Mexico to raise money for an LGBTQ group in Puerto Vallarta.

Whether he’s volunteering for CAMP or for other groups, his philosophy is the same: “I always go down amid the crowd after the auction and thank the underbidders, the ones who didn’t wind up with the trips and artwork. I tell all of the folks that we can’t get where we are going without them. It’s not just the high bid winners who are important.”

So what’s next for Lorne in this town that often finds retirees being busier than folks with full-time work? “I do tag sales for homeowners who are moving or downsizing. I have a small crew and after the homeowner removes what they want to keep, I go in and price and organize everything for a sale. I’ve done whole estates, and smaller jobs. It’s fun and rewarding. Folks should call me if they have a need.”

Well, I had a need. I needed to get off the stage at Sundance and let a real auctioneer take over. And Lorne Crawford has certainly made a success of it. Not only is he doing what he loves, but it benefits CAMP Rehoboth, the remarkably generous donors and bidders, and the folks who bid things up, hoping to be winners. And like Lorne says, everyone attending and raising a hand is a winner. ▼

Fay Jacobs is the author of six published books and will soon start the farewell tour of her one-woman sit-down comedy show, Aging Gracelessly.

Fay Jacobs’ Farewell Aging Gracelessly Show

Sit-down

comic Fay Jacobs will be at the Top of the Pines at 7:00 p.m. on Friday, October 25, for her farewell performance of Aging Gracelessly

With some new material and her favorite stories from a decade of performing, the show will bring the curtain down on her unlikely sit-down comedy career. Quite different from Cher’s many farewell tours, there probably won’t be subsequent farewell tours, aside, perhaps, from a Women’s FEST show or a house party or two. This is it for the writer who broke into show biz at an age she’d more likely break a hip.

Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival

The Rehoboth Beach Film Society’s Independent Film Festival returns November 4-10. This year’s festival offers 70+ films, including features, documentaries, and shorts from around the world; special Q&A panels with industry experts, leading actors, and directors; a Sunday awards brunch; and much more. Hosted at the Cinema Art Theater, 17701 Dartmouth Drive, Lewes, selected screenings will also be held at the Unitarian Universalists of Southern Delaware church, 30486 Lewes Georgetown Highway, and the Possum Point Players’ theater, 441 Old Laurel Road, Georgetown. Festival passes are on sale now. More info: rehobothfilm.com/rehoboth-beach-independent-film-festival. ▼

“I have loved performing and making people laugh for over 10 years, in some of the most exciting places and venues,” Jacobs says. “Also some that were pretty weird and always something to laugh about. But Rehoboth Beach is where I started this silly career and it’s where I will let us have the last laughs together.”

Tickets for the show are only $10, with the Pines offering great food and drink and the perfect venue to close out the run of Aging Gracelessly. Tickets are already going fast, so don’t delay getting yours at totpshows.com. ▼

Craft Show

This year’s show will be held November 2 and 3, with a special ticketed Preview Night on Friday, November 1. The show features a variety of artisans exhibiting and selling their work, including jewelry, glasswork, ceramics, mixed media, and decorative and wearable fiber creations. Patrons can stroll the campus and find artists throughout the historic Homestead, Chambers Studio, and the Corkran and Tubbs galleries to select the perfect gifts for family, friends, and (of course!) themselves. More info: rehobothartleague.org/events/ holiday-fair/. ▼

F un Fact

health+wellness

Health Begins with Knowledge

Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope.

–KOFI ANNAN

Before my career in health care, I was an oxymoron: I was a military intelligence officer. All jokes aside, my job was to separate the wheat from the chaff, to provide the most accurate assessments of evolving world events. Given any piece of information, I looked not only on what was reported, but who was the source and what underlying reasons could there be for providing the information. The “information within the information” was oftentimes far more important to the assessments than the reports themselves. Throughout the COVID pandemic, I reflected on my early career lessons, as misinformation and alternative facts carried—and continue to carry—as much weight as that which has been proven and verified.

Every October, health literacy is recognized, highlighting the importance of making health information easily accessible and easily understandable, and making health systems easily navigable. According to the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) publication Healthy People 2030, health literacy is critical to the elimination of health disparities and achieving health equity.

HHS’s efforts focus not only on personal understanding, but also on involvement in personal and community health choices. The concurrent National Action Plan to Improve Health Literacy has two core principles: 1) health information to make informed decisions is a right, and 2) health service delivery should be easily understood, and centered around health longevity and quality of life.

According to the National Action Plan, 90 percent of adults have trouble using health information routinely provided through health systems and community partners. Limited health literacy disproportionately effects lower socioeconomic and minority groups, who are more likely to use the emergency room to manage chronic disease exacerbations. Studies have borne out that those with the worst health tend to have low health literacy.

Mitigating these disparities will take coordinated efforts at the individual and systemic levels to ensure health messages are received as intended. For example, several studies suggest Medicare could save up to $25 billion and prevent over 900,000 hospital visits annually by simplifying and standardizing the language within Medicare Advantage plans.

...90 percent of adults have trouble using health information routinely provided through health systems and community partners.

Certainly, the advent of the internet has proven indispensable, providing immediate access to information. However, what is communicated can be wrong, misleading, or antiquated. Some entities secretly sponsor websites to promote their own agenda. Even if reputable, the sheer volume of information can prove daunting. One quick way to determine what a website represents is through the URL extension: .gov is a government site, .edu is an educational institution, .org is a professional or nonprofit organization, and .com is a commercial website.

Read through a website’s About Us link: if the site’s purpose is promotional, the health information may be slanted or untrustworthy. Do not assume that new

BY SHARON MORGAN

web pages accessed via links within a site contain reputable or accurate information. Look for a “last updated” section on the site, to see if the information being provided is current. In addition, if links on the website do not work, the website itself could be outdated. Compare across credible websites to determine consistency in the information provided.

Of course, overall literacy in America must also be factored into the health literacy discussion. As of 2022, 21 percent of American adults were considered illiterate, and 54 percent had a sixth grade or lower literacy level. Of those with low literacy skills, one-third are unemployed and 43 percent live in poverty; only 10 percent receive literacy support services.

The federal government has a very limited role in education policy and funding, which occurs mostly at the state and local levels. Hence, literacy levels vary widely across the country. That said, current data indicate no state has over half its students reading at or above grade level. However, even those with high reading levels can have low health literacy. Health messaging that is overly technical or loaded with statistical data could prove confusing, especially at a time when one may also be feeling vulnerable.

Health systems, therefore, need to not only be sensitive to overall literacy needs, but also ensure the complexity of health care delivery is well understood. When engaging at the individual level, this would include health care professionals verifying the comprehension level of the information provided as well as linking low literacy clients with community outreach to improve comprehension skills.

Health-literate organizations understand that health literacy is not just a clinician responsibility and shapes all aspects of care delivery toward improving health literacy at all levels. To that end, organizations should include members of the populations they serve on policy and decision-making bodies. Moreover, health-literate organizations simplify the messaging to the greatest extent possible, and ensure the messaging is provided in a variety of ways and across

a variety of platforms. Finally, health-literate organizations recognize more focus is needed during high-risk decisions and transitions and have in place protocols to minimize miscommunication.

Social media is a crucial component to any communication strategy. According to the Pew Research Center, over half of US adults say they sometimes gets their news from social media platforms, with about one-third regularly receiving their news from either Facebook or YouTube. Certain platforms, however, despite having a smaller share of users, stand out for user consumption of news. For example, close to 60 percent of both X users and Truth Social users say they get their news predominantly from the respective sites.

Here Comes Halloween!

And, locally, the Sea Witch® Festival.

(There’s more about CAMP Rehoboth’s plans for the parade on page 5; hope you can join in!)

Meanwhile, how best to celebrate “gay Christmas”? Perhaps traditionally, with a fancy-dress party? Glamorous gay balls, attended by hundreds of partiers, were held in Chicago as long ago as the mid-1930s. Or with a parade? By the 1950s and 60s, costumed revelers in Philadelphia would follow drag performers from gay bar to gay bar in a Halloween parade of sorts. Greenwich Village’s gay-themed Halloween parade began in 1973, and Los Angeles’s West Hollywood Halloween parade followed in 1987. So, plan that costume, don it with pride, and get out there to parade and/ or party!

But do so safely, of course: Be especially mindful of:

LET’S STAY CONNECTED!

Conversely, only about 14 percent of LinkedIn users acquire their news from the site.

Social media has several advantages over other communication venues for providing health information. First, it’s seen as the fastest means for pushing alerts during outbreaks or disasters. Second, by including hyperlinks, social media can quickly redirect consumers to other timely information. As the evolving COVID pandemic illustrated, however, social media can devolve into a chaotic landscape of misinformation and paranoia if left unchecked. Health-literate organizations are using lessons learned throughout COVID to better amplify correct messaging while mitigating and

health+wellness

course-correcting misinformation. Health literacy is a critical component to self-actualization and autonomy. People who are health literate tend to live longer and have a higher quality of life. Health literacy is connected to health equity, which is maximum health for all. Individuals and institutions which promote health and create policy understand health literacy is paramount for proper messaging. As part of a collaborative process, healthy individuals help ensure healthy societies and a better future.

Sharon A. Morgan is a retired advanced practice nurse with over 30 years of clinical and healthcare policy background.

Stability—aka trip hazards; watch that skirt or cape or teetering heels.

Flammability—being “smokin’ hot” is best taken figuratively, not literally.

Visibility—black may be sophisticated, but perhaps accessorize with a tasteful high viz reflector strip? Or carry a flashlight or battery-lit pumpkin?

Drivability—if the witches’ brew (eye of newt and toe of frog…) includes also some alcohol, climb into the passenger seat.

Speaking of witches’ brew—if you’re hosting the festivities and need a Halloween party game, why not: Assign your guests to teams; supply each team with a cauldron; provide a list of suitable ingredients (all hidden pre-party about the premises); start the timer and holler “go!”

Or maybe you’re aiming for something more elaborate, that sends your partiers out-and-about? Give them 30 minutes and a list of items they must find and bring back (maybe selfies with costumed revelers—say, a ghost, a witch, a pirate…?), and set the game in motion.

Maybe they can help decorate a Halloween tree? (Think: Christmas tree, but black, and with suitably-themed ornaments.) Or set up the miniature Halloween village, featuring all your tiny favorites— goblins and ghosts and witches galore! However you celebrate, may it be fun, festive, and fabulous. Halloween is a fine time to celebrate (and perhaps reveal?) your inner self—make gay Christmas merry indeed. ▼

Youth Crisis Support: Crisis intervention services for children under 18. Parents and caregivers are connected to a crisis clinician. Available 24/7. Call 800-9694357 or text DE to 741-741.

988: Free, confidential support and resources for anyone in distress. Available 24/7. Call 988.

Delaware Hope Line: Free coaching and support. Links to mental health, addiction, and crisis services. Available 24/7. Call 833-9-HOPEDE (833-946-7333).

All of CAMP Rehoboth’s programs, services, and events are listed here: camprehoboth.com/community-calendar. Please visit the site often to ensure you have up-to-date information on what is being offered—and when. ▼

CAMPsafe Serves Our Community

Welcome, Vincent!

On

Monday, September 9, CAMP

Rehoboth welcomed Vincent DeLissio as its new CAMPsafe Program Coordinator. In this role, Vincent will oversee and provide HIV education, testing, and distribution of materials in Rehoboth and in western Sussex County at several locations. From January through April of this year, Vincent worked with the team as a photography intern. This June, Vincent graduated from Wilmington University with a Bachelor of Science in Graphic Design and a Professional Certificate in Photography.

“I am excited to be joining CAMP Rehoboth as the new CAMPsafe Program Coordinator because I will have the opportunity to help expand our community’s understanding of wellness,” said Vincent. “When I perform my duties and receive clients in CAMP’s health suite, I am upholding a space of knowledge, empathy, and empowerment.”

Please join CAMP Rehoboth in welcoming Vincent!  ▼

PREVENT HIV & Mpox

FREE WALK-IN HIV TESTING

Free, rapid, walk-in HIV testing and counseling is available at CAMP Rehoboth and in western Sussex County. Testing days/times are subject to change; please call ahead to verify the current testing schedule.

CAMP Rehoboth

37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE Tel: 302-227-5620

Mondays 10 AM-1 PM Wednesdays 1-4 PM Thursdays .................................... 1-3 PM Fridays 9 AM-12 PM

Addiction Medical Facility - Seaford 1309 Bridgeville Hwy., Seaford, DE Tel: 302-629-2300

Higher Ground Outreach

12 E. Pine St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-470-7497

Laurel State Service Center 31039 N. Poplar St., Laurel, DE Tel: 302-227-5620*

*Call CAMP Rehoboth to schedule an HIV test at the Laurel State Service Center.

Springboard Village

411 Kimmey St., Georgetown, DE Tel: 302-253-8246

Scan the QR Code for the most up-todate testing hours and locations.

h . c o m / d o n a t e .

T h e r e a r e a n u m b e r o f w a y s y o u c a n u s e p l a n n e d

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ESTATE AND LIFE ESTATE AND LIFE INCOME GIFTS INCOME GIFTS

A c h a r i t a b l e g i f t f r o m y o u r e s t a t e i s a

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MATCHING GIFT MATCHING GIFT

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THE SEARCH IS ON!

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

Geocaching: A Hobby Hidden in Plain Sight

Combine hiking with treasure hunting and what do you have? Geocaching!

It’s a sport. It’s a game. It’s a great group activity, but you can also do it alone. It can be played in any season. Best of all, the necessary equipment costs nothing. The basic requirements are your smartphone and the geocaching app.

Geocaches are small containers hidden in parks, cities, open spaces—virtually any public place. The container can be a Tupperware container, pill bottle, magnetic hide-a-key, army surplus ammunition box, or pretty much anything that is hollow and can be hidden. The larger ones often contain treasure (small toys, tokens, or trinkets); others just have a log to sign. Once hidden, the geocache’s GPS coordinates are registered with geocaching.com, along with information about the geocache so people can hunt for it.

I guarantee you’ve walked by geocaches many times without knowing (there are more than 100 in the Lewes-Rehoboth area). They are purposely well hidden so that non-geocachers don’t stumble on them accidentally. They can be found all over the world (there are nearly 50 in the Falkland Islands, as a random example). And their locations often take you to places you might never have been (scenic spots, out-of-the-way historical sites, or fun destinations).

To get started, go to geocaching.com. Learn about geocaching (“Geocaching basics” in the Help Center), and download the app. (You don’t need the paid version, although it does give you more features and access.) When you register, pick a username, which you will use for signing the geocache logs. Signing the log inside the cache and then selecting “found it” on the app is how you keep track of how many geocaches you’ve found and avoid hunting for ones you’ve already located. When you search a location online or using the app, you will get a list of the nearby geocaches (you can also view them on a map). A green box icon means it’s a traditional container of some kind. A

question mark signifies a mystery cache, which will require you to solve a puzzle to get the coordinates (it could be questions to answer, a math problem to solve, or even song lyrics to fill in).

Beginners should start with a traditional cache. Each geocache will have a rating for difficulty (how well it is hidden) and for terrain (how hard it is to get to). Choose a cache that has been found recently so you know it’s likely to be there— they do go missing occasionally.

Using the Geocaching app on your smartphone, select a cache you want to find and click on “Navigate” to get an aerial view showing you and the cache, along with the distance to the cache. Move toward the cache, checking the app to make sure you’re getting closer. Most geocaches are near roads or paths. When you’re within 20 feet or so, start searching (GPS coordinates may not be exact). Look under piles of twigs, check crooks in trees, look under benches and railings. The cache may be on the ground—or not. Once you spot the cache, open it, sign the log with your username and the date, and replace it. Using the app, click on “found it” and add a comment that’s not a spoiler. You’ve logged your first geocache!

A few tips: Don’t get so focused on the hunt that you lose track of your surroundings. If you find a cache that contains treasure, you can take one of the items, but if you do, you should leave something

Pick a nice afternoon, choose an area that has three or four promising caches, and go hunting.

of similar value (most geocachers carry along a pen for signing the logs and a few small trinkets). A large stick can be helpful when rooting around rocks and brush. Wear comfortable, sturdy shoes, and keep an eye out for poison ivy and other hazards.

Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, try some geocaches that have higher degrees of difficulty, or give a mystery cache a go. Geocaches with high difficulty scores can be tricky. The container may be inside another object, well off the ground, or cleverly camouflaged to look like something else. (I once found one that was convincingly disguised as a pinecone and hung in a tree.)

Why not give it a try? Pick a nice afternoon, choose an area that has three or four promising caches, and go hunting. Some geocachers work in teams, which can add to the fun, so maybe take a friend or two (and perhaps a picnic, for that matter). That way, even if you don’t find the geocache, you’ve had a nice time in the great outdoors. And that’s pretty darn great. ▼

Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who has logged more than 100 geocaches. See if you can find one of her local hides: “VOFP Vintage Baseball.”

Words Matter

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

The Gift of Words, The Gift of My Sister

My mother didn’t place a lot of value on material things; she never was and still isn’t that kind of woman. However, when my siblings and I were young, she did place a great deal of emphasis on family activities, things that all of us could enjoy together. One activity we did as a family at least once a week all year round was visit the library.

I liked to check out children’s poetry books. My sister would read them to me. I appreciate my sister dearly. It was my sister, who when I was a very young boy, spent lots of time reading to me. The book that I loved the most and remains an absolute favorite is Honey I Love by Eloise Greenfield. The title poem starts off, Honey I love. I love a lot of things.

As I grew older, my sister would help me a great deal to improve my reading. Jackie loved reading and poetry. While I was a fan of Eloise Greenfield, she was growing into a fan of Maya Angelou. She would read Maya Angelou poems to me, and I would keep requesting that she read them again and again. Jackie nurtured my love for poetry and books, which later would help me to express my own thoughts and feelings in words.

I now knew that if I were strong enough, I could be Black and gay and bigger than the images that had previously been put before me.

I could not ask God for a better sister. In the same vein as my mom and brother, she always allowed me space to be and figure out things on my own. I appreciate that at this age more so than I did then, because I didn’t know how important that was. I look at the lives of others now and realize that what I took for granted—an opportunity to be free—isn’t always widely offered to young people.

An evolved and avid reader, by the time I reached high school my sister had accumulated a large collection of African American literature. It was by fate and fortune that on her bookshelf I would find the book that cracked open the window to a new view of how I see myself. The summer before my senior year of high school, I snuck into my sister’s room to snoop and see if there was anything interesting to be found.

I sat on the floor in front of her bookshelf and started pulling books off one by one. I’d flip to a

random page and begin reading to see if there was anything that could hold my attention. If what I read on that page didn’t captivate me, I’d put the book back up on the shelf. I eventually picked a book, opened it up to the middle and started reading and it was unlike any other book I had ever read in my life. It was a book with gay people. And not just gay people, it was a book with Black gay people. Larger than that, none of them were caricatures or stereotypes.

Immediately, I took that book and went into a corner, turned to page one, and started reading. I couldn’t put the book down. I read for hours and connected in a way in which I had never connected before with something on paper that looked and sounded like me.

The book was Invisible Life by E. Lynn Harris. I was transfixed by the characters. It was phenomenal. The main character was a Black gay man who was a lawyer, just like I wanted to be at the time. Turning those pages for the first time in my life, I thought, my God, I am not the only one. This is who I can aspire to one day be.

Over the next few days, whenever I found myself alone in the house I headed back into my sister’s room and continued reading the book until I was finished. It changed my life. I now knew that if I were strong enough, I could be Black and gay and bigger than the images that had previously been put before me.

I was possible. I could be somebody other than a caricature. I could develop into a strong Black man. Manhood was much more and so was I.

My sister has given me many great gifts over the span of my life but that will always rank as one of the tops. There is no doubt that it was meant for me to wander into her room, on that day, at that time in my life, to find that book. It lifted and shifted me. As has she. ▼

Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Connect with him on Instagram: @Mr_CJFluker.

Celebrity Profile

Corey Andrew

He Takes Us to the Dance Floor & Shows Us That

For some, Corey Andrew’s megawatt smile and ease in front of the camera is familiar from his appearances on news networks like HLN and NewsNation. Eagle-eyed fans of the multi-talented Andrew know that he is known on dance floors globally, seeing his work remixed by some of the biggest names in the music industry. Now, Corey Andrew is teaming up with producer Lon Miller for a brand-new dance floor banger, “Love Will Find a Way,” a message that is needed now more than ever before.

For “Love Will Find a Way,” Andrew and Miller have enlisted a variety of remixers to turn this anthem up and make it truly dance floor ready. DJ James Anthony (a favorite of Paradise in Asbury Park and New York City’s legendary leather venue, The Eagle) crafts this one into a truly classic-style anthem with drops in all the right places with “James Anthony’s Deep Luv Remix,” while “Lon’s Lifted Luv Mix” gloriously showcases Andrew’s vocals. DJ Gremix checks in with a high-energy “Club Mix” with a great showcase on the chorus, while the “Yves Eaux Remix” provides a heavier and deeper remix style, but still keeps the original style of the track fully intact.

The “Love Will Find a Way” remix package offers something for everyone—which is Andrew’s intent with the song. He told The Randy Report recently, “I aspire for this song to resonate with people from all walks of life, spreading a message of hope and unity. In a world that often feels divided, especially in today’s hyper-political social climate, I hope ‘Love Will Find a Way’ reminds the world that when all is said and done, love conquers all.”

For Andrew, this is only his latest high-profile success, even though a number of those successes have been off the dance floors. This Renaissance-man-turned-Rehoboth-Beach-transplant has dabbled in a litany of media platforms during his career: He was a co-

BY MICHAEL COOK

“Love Will Find a Way.”

“I hope ‘Love Will Find a Way’ reminds the world that when all is said and done, love conquers all.”

host on the popular pop culture podcast Naughty but Nice with Rob (with co-host entertainment journalist Rob Shuter), and has completed print interviews with everyone from Stonewall legend Mark Segal to Emmy-winner Laverne Cox. Whether it’s jumping into his own podcasts (Core Issues as well as Motivational Mondays), stand-up comedy, or even being featured as a contestant on Jay Leno’s Fox game show, You Bet Your Life, Andrew remains consistently ready to jump feet first into any opportunity thrown his way.

Even though many would consider him to be the one in the limelight with the release of “Love Will Find a Way,” Andrew is also known to showcase some of the biggest names in entertainment when given the opportunity (and a microphone). Throughout his career, Andrew has been privileged to interview everyone from Elizabeth Banks, Academy Award nominee Kristen Stewart, and We’re Here superstar Shangela.

Corey recently performed at Rehoboth Beach’s annual SUNFESTIVAL (a CAMP Rehoboth event) and in addition to performing “Love Will Find a Way,” performed an exquisite version of Tony Bennett’s “A Time for Love” to an absolutely roaring crowd. (Head over to Andrew’s Instagram page for video of his performance!) Corey spoke with me exclusively about this experience saying, “It was truly exhilarating to take the stage at this year’s SUNFESTIVAL for CAMP Rehoboth. I am grateful for the heartfelt welcome I received. It was touching, especially now that I’m also a proud member of the Rehoboth Beach community.” ▼

Follow Corey Andrew on Instagram: www.instagram.com/ coreyandrew/?hl=en

Follow Corey Andrew at his website: www.coreyandrew.com

Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct Magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News.

DECEMBER 5th to 22nd BROADWAY DIVAS CABARET October 26 - 8PM LEZ ZEPPELIN All Girls!

u t e

N O V 3 - J E S S E G A R R O N : T r i b u t e T o E l v i s

N O V 8 - H A - H A - H A H A L L O W E E N H I L A R I T Y : S t a n d - U p C o m e d y

N O V 9 - M A G I C O F M O T O W N : M o t o w n ’ s B i g g e s t H i t s

N O V 1 5 - I C O N S : A T r i b u t e T o E n t e r t a i n m e n t ' s G r e a t e s t D i v a s

N O V 1 6 - S M O K U S P O C U S : A 4 2 0 M a g i c S h o w w i t h B e n Z a b i n

N O V 1 7 - D E L A W A R E C O M E D Y T H E A T R E : A d u l t I m p r o v C o m e d y N O V 2 0 - A C A R P E N T E R S C H R I S T M A S : W i t h C l o s e T o Y o u

N O V 2 1 & 2 2 - G O L D

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The REAL DIRT

The Tree Makes the Wand

In mythology and folklore, wands and staffs are often portrayed as the conduits of magical power, capable of channeling the forces of nature and the universe. A wand’s power is said to derive not only from the user but also from the wood it is made of. Some trees, imbued with symbolic meanings, have long been associated with wand making. These trees are revered for their spiritual, magical, and elemental properties, and their wood can greatly influence the wand’s abilities. Let’s explore some of the best trees known for creating potent witches’ wands and wizards’ staffs during this Halloween season.

The elder tree (Sambucus) is one of the most mysterious and revered in wand lore. Known in mythology as a tree associated with death, protection, and transformation, elder wood wands are powerful but difficult to master. They are often linked to witches and wizards of extraordinary ability. Due to its association with the cycle of life and death, elder wood is seen as a conduit for both light and dark magic. The elder wand is famously featured in legend as one of the most powerful magical artifacts, often sought after but rarely controlled by the average wizard. Elder wands have a reputation for loyalty only to their true master and are particularly suited to those destined for greatness. (Most notably referred to in the Harry Potter series.)

Yew trees (Taxus) are symbolic of immortality and resurrection, as they can live for thousands of years and continue growing after the death of their main trunk. In wand lore, yew wood is reputed for producing wands that have a propensity for both protective and destructive magic, capable of producing powerful curses as well as healing spells. The association with life and death makes yew wands ideal for practitioners seeking deep knowledge of the balance between creation and destruction. A wand made of yew tends to choose those with strong convictions.

The oak (Quercus) is known as the “King of the Forest,” representing

strength, endurance, and wisdom. It is one of the oldest and most respected trees in European folklore. Oak wands are highly dependable, known for their loyalty and durability, making them an ideal match for users who are courageous and principled. Oak wood wands are excellent for spells of defense and

Choosing the right tree for a wand is a deeply personal process, as each type of wood carries its own magical essence.

physical protection, as they symbolize stability and strength. They are especially effective for magic that involves nature or earth elements, and they often serve those with a deep connection to the natural world.

Holly (Ilex) trees are symbols of protection and peace. In Celtic tradition, holly was thought to guard against evil spirits and was often planted near homes to ward off negative influences. Holly wands are associated with defense, healing, and warding off harm, making them particularly well-suited for spells involving protection. Holly wood wands are known to choose wizards and witches engaged in self-sacrificial, noble causes, often those who seek to protect others from harm.

BY ERIC W. WAHL

Though they are gentle by nature, holly wands have great power and are best suited to individuals who are clear in their intentions and moral convictions.

Hazel (Corylus) trees are renowned in Celtic mythology for their association with wisdom, divination, and poetic inspiration. Hazel wood wands are highly sensitive to their owners, making them ideal for those who are intuitive and skilled in mind magic, such as telepathy or divination. The wood of the hazel tree is also said to be exceptionally good for wand crafting in rituals or magic that involves creativity and learning. A hazel wand is best suited to a user who is intellectual and imaginative; to someone who seeks knowledge for its own sake and is driven by curiosity and intuition.

Willow (Salix) trees have a long-standing association with healing, growth, and intuition. Known for their flexibility and resilience, willows grow near water and have been connected with lunar magic and the element of water, both of which are linked to emotion, intuition, and psychic power. Willow wands are especially effective for healing magic and are said to have an affinity for those who are deeply in tune with their inner selves and the rhythms of nature. A willow wand is particularly attuned to users with great potential and natural talent, and they tend to grow in power as their owner matures.

Choosing the right tree for a wand is a deeply personal process, as each type of wood carries its own magical essence. The connection between a wizard and their wand is unique, with the wood’s properties complementing the user’s natural abilities. Whether you seek protection, knowledge, power, or healing, the right tree can imbue your wand with the magic you need to make your spells flourish and your circles complete.

Be safe, and Happy Halloween! ▼

Eric W. Wahl is Landscape Architect at Pennoni Associates, and President of the Delaware Native Plant Society.

Photo by Dulcey Lima on Unsplash

Deep Inside Hollywood

Queen Latifah

Biopic Announced

Queen

Latifah is heading up a biopic about herself, via her production company Flavor Unit Entertainment. And she’ll have collaborators in Westbrook Studios, which is another way of saying Will Smith will co-produce (appropriate, since he began his career in hip hop, too), as well as Jesse Collins Entertainment, the company that made The New Edition Story and The Bobby Brown Story. It’s all part of a planned spate of biopics focused on hip-hop legends of the ’80s, ’90s, and beyond, with Latifah’s life getting the first treatment. She’s a legendary figure now, after all, so it’s time for a victory lap. No casting has been announced yet, and they might go for a newcomer, but we like the idea of someone like Emmy-nominated actor Dominique Fishback, from The Deuce and Judas and the Black Messiah, who’d bring her already-widely-acclaimed talent to the role. Watch this space. ▼

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Unicorn Boy takes an October Bow

The world of indie animation has taken to queer themes in ways that the likes of Disney and others have been more timid about and more slow to embrace. Case in point: a bright star from this year’s Slamdance Festival, Unicorn Boy, will take its streaming bow (with a very limited theatrical moment) this fall, giving anyone with the internet the ability to see it. Created and animated entirely by filmmaker Matty Kiel, the young adult coming-ofage feature follows a young person named Matty whose recent heartbreak finds him drawn into a unicorn-run alternate dimension. It’s about love and gender identity and finding peace, issues that affect so many queer young people and that often go ignored by corporate animation. Kiel voices Matty and the rest of the cast includes Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford, Cindy Paola, Harold Perrineau, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Parvesh Cheena. Look for it when it drops October 11 across all the usual rental platforms. ▼

After The Hunt Pushes Lío Mehiel Closer to Stardom

Luca Guadagnino’s Queer just premiered at the Venice Film Festival, soon to make the awards season rounds near you, but the gay Italian auteur is already working on his next feature, After the Hunt, about sexual secrets in academia, starring Julia Roberts, Andrew Garfield, Chloe Sevigny, Call Me by Your Name dad Michael Stuhlbarg, and two rising queer stars, Ayo Edebiri and Lío Mehiel. You know the Emmy-nominated Edebiri already; she’s officially everywhere now, not just in The Bear and Bottoms but popping up in fashion world ads, too. Meanwhile Mehiel is a trans actor whose leading role in the last year’s indie Mutt earned critical acclaim, and who’s currently co-starring in the US arthouse drama In the Summers. They’ve got a supporting role here, but it’ll be their most high-profile credit to date. Look for this one to make a Challengers-level mainstream splash in the coming year, and with Roberts headlining you won’t have to dig too deeply to find it. ▼

John Mulaney and Fred Armisen are All In

Technically

the subject of our discussion here is Stephin Merritt, who is gay, versus A-list comedy names John Mulaney and Fred Armisen, who are not gay. But the trio will be working together very soon on a new Broadway show called All In: A Broadway Comedy About Love. See, the musical is written by Simon Rich, directed by Alex Timbers, and it stars the famous funny guys, but it was all inspired by the songs of gay indie music icon Stephen Merritt, his band The Magnetic Fields, and specifically their 1999 album titled 69 Love Songs. Merritt has composed the music for the new show, and Mulaney and Armisen will…sing? Maybe? We don’t know. But it will make sense if they do: Merritt’s songs are heartfelt, romantic, bittersweet, intelligent, and funny—perfect material for actors who can deliver those qualities. It’s coming up very quickly, too, opening December 11 at New York’s Hudson Theater. So if you haven’t yet been introduced to all 69 of those love songs, now’s your chance to catch up. ▼

Out & About

Queen of the Road

When I heard that Will Ferrell was featured in a documentary about a straight, cis man on a cross-country road trip with a longtime friend who recently came out as a trans woman, I was all in. The resulting film, Will & Harper (streaming on Netflix) was everything I hoped it would be: funny, moving, warm, and wise.

Those last three words might not describe everyone’s expectations of anything starring Will Ferrell. Yes, he’s probably best known for some extreme comic portrayals, often of doofuses and know-nothings. He excels at the technique comedians refer to as “commit to the bit”—a no-holds-barred, noexcuses, no-apologies style of comedy that believes that anything can be funny if the performer gives it a thousand percent.

But I always sort of liked Will Ferrell. His impersonations of George W. Bush on Saturday Night Live (SNL) were spot on. The famous “More Cowbell” sketch (he played the overzealous cowbell player) was a little much, but I really fell in love with him when he did a little web short in 2007 called The Landlord. He played a guy who was late on the rent, and is being confronted by a verbally abusive, possibly alcoholic landlord. Admittedly, this doesn’t sound very funny until you realize that the role of the landlord is played by an adorable twoyear-old girl named Pearl (the daughter of co-writer Adam McKay). She steals the show, and Ferrell doesn’t put up much of a fight. (I just watched it again while writing this column, and it really holds up!)

After watching The Landlord about a zillion times, I happened upon his 2006 film Stranger Than Fiction, co-starring Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah, and Maggie Gyllenhaal. His performance there was funny, but incredibly understated, in an odd little film about a man (Ferrell) who realizes that he’s the protagonist in someone

else’s novel and is soon to be killed off. There’s some real pathos and sweetness in between the laughs.

Finally, I was coerced into seeing Elf (2003) after avoiding it for over a decade for a podcast I used to host. To my surprise and delight, I found it much more charming than annoying, mostly due to Will, though with some lovely assists by Zooey Deschanel, Peter Dinklage, and the always droll Bob Newhart (RIP).

How much does a gender transition change a person? Are they really the same person you’ve always known?

So, when ads for Will & Harper started to appear, I didn’t have the immediate visceral— and negative— reaction that many of my friends expressed. Yes, I knew that Will Ferrell could be over-the-top, but I also knew that he had other sides when needed. What I didn’t expect is that he’d be so well matched in his co-star, but I probably should have been. Harper Steele isn’t a household name, but she used to be the head writer for SNL (that’s where the two first met) and knows her way around a joke herself. Together, Will and Harper have the easy repartee of old friends with a big side helping of two comedians trying to one-up the other.

In the funniest sequence (which is also in most of the trailers), Will delicately wonders if he can ask a question. When Harper gently grants his request, he asks if she’s a “worse driver, now that you’re a woman.” Harper then pretends to be offended so that Will can relish in his punchline for just a moment, then quietly admits, “I am, though.” Not because

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

it’s true, but because it stops Will in his tracks.

There are other laughs, such as Will’s petulant reaction when Harper refuses to take him to a Dunkin’ Donuts, or Harper’s righteous defense of “Natty Light,” her favorite beer.

But the film isn’t about the laughs, not really. The comedy is there to entice viewers into the experience, but there are some real, tough questions being asked here. How much does a gender transition change a person? Are they really the same person you’ve always known? Because this is real life, the answer is, of course, “yes, and no.” But thanks to Harper’s courage, vulnerability, and transparency, what quickly becomes clear is the humanity of this person, who is more or less the same, but is no longer dragging around a false persona and who now has to navigate a world that just got a lot more dangerous.

So, gentle reader, if you were maybe a little bit interested in seeing Will & Harper but for the fact that you just can’t stand Will Ferrell, I will simply make the following three points: 1) He may be a big ham, but he’s a terrific friend. 2) The fact that he’s mostly famous for Stepbrothers and Talladega Nights and Anchorman (films I’ve never seen, for what it’s worth) means that the people who really need to see the film just might tune in, so I can’t be mad Will is here. And 3) while I like him, even more so after watching this, he’s not even the star of the show. Watch it for a brave, kooky, funny, beautiful soul named Harper Steele. And see if you’re not a fan once the road trip ends. ▼

Eric Peterson is Interim Managing Editor of Amble Press, a novelist (Loyalty, Love & Vermouth), and a diversity, equity, and inclusion practitioner. Follow Eric on Threads at @red7eric.

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Reflections

Death Doulas

The Day of the Dead is an event I never paid much attention to over the years. When I researched what it meant I was surprised. Instead of being what I thought was a day of macabre rituals I discovered it’s a holiday where family and friends gather to pay their respects and to remember those who died. It’s a celebration of life and death. I admire people who can talk about death and dying with others and celebrate those who died. It was never a topic broached with my family or friends.

Death and dying is something we Americans have a hard time talking about and we have even a harder time planning for. We plan for our vacations and appliance purchases more than we plan for our deaths. Most of us are uncomfortable talking about death and dying and don’t want to listen to anyone who is struggling with a dying companion or who is dying themselves.

Because death is the last step on this earth for every living creature and because our reluctance to talk about it often creates chaos and pain for those still alive, a new profession has emerged. Death doulas can assist those who are experiencing dying—whether their own or that of a loved one. They are trained, non-clinical supporters of dying people and their families. When I talked to Laura Lyster-Mensh, a certified death doula in residence at Historic Congressional Cemetery in Washington, DC, she said, “I can tell them what’s going on, help them accept the situation, and show them how to make better decisions.”

The role of death doulas has been around for centuries, but the term ‘doula’ used with death has only been around since the late 1990s. (The term doula has been used since the 1980s for birth and post-partum care.) Death doulas may ease your pain caring for a loved one. They can also help you plan your own death which Lyster-Mensh compares to hiring a wedding planner—helping you decide who should be there and what will be included in the ceremony.

Death doulas can deal with people feeling intense emotions, and they can settle conflicts around a bedside by focusing on what’s best for the person in the bed. They can also help lessen the fear surrounding death. Death doulas can make a horrible time in life easier to navigate.

Death doulas] can also help lessen the fear surrounding death.

Finding a doula to suit your individual needs is tough. While there’s a plethora of certifications available, there’s no regulating body, no national certification, no universal guideline, no healthcare compensation. “It’s controversial,” said Lyster-Mensh. “Who’s to say one training is better than another when there’s no common agreement? Some call it a death doula, others call it an end-of-life doula. A certification is expensive and each is different.”

The day of my mom’s death I could have used a death doula. I was home alone with her. I sensed her impending transition and got scared so I called a priest who, after giving her last rites, said she was not near death. After he left, I called my childhood friend who came over and sat with me. I didn’t want to be

BY PATTIE CINELLI

alone. After midnight, we checked on my mom again. She no longer seemed to be alive, but we weren’t sure what to do. So, we got a mirror and held it up to her face to see if she was breathing. She was not. I called the priest who told me to call the funeral home. I was startled when, in the middle of the night, two policemen rang my doorbell (a requirement when someone dies at home). It was absolutely horrific.

How I wish I had had a death doula sitting with me by the bedside of my aunt who died in a hospital. Not one nurse or doctor said anything supportive to my brother or me as we sat on either side of her, each holding a hand. Even after her death, I did not want to leave her alone in the hospital and again, was not sure what to do. A death doula could have been a reassuring voice who was there to bring calmness and honor to the moment when her spirit left her body.

I’ve learned a lot in the decades since I took care of my family members. I’d like to think I’d be less afraid and more in tune with the natural course of events that precedes the ending of one’s time on this earth. Even though I know that death is a part of life, and I believe that there’s more to life than our time here on earth, being with someone you love as they transition is the hardest, most emotional time ever. Having a death doula to help might have made the experiences easier to bear and maybe I could have felt less gut-wrenching sadness about their absence. ▼

To contact Lyster-Mensh: Congressionalcemetery.org (look under death literacy, Laura, or doula)

Pattie Cinelli is a writer and a holistic health & fitness professional. Email her with questions or column ideas to: fitmiss44@aol.com.

A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE

Tiptoe Through the…Tombstones?

Question: Why do so many cemeteries have fences?

Answer: Because people are just dying to get in.

Har-dee-har-har. Okay, but seriously...why are cities for the dead so fascinating, but creepy at the same time?

To answer that question, we need to start a few hundred thousand years ago when some 15 dead Homo sapiens were purposefully buried in a cave in the Middle East, near Israel, by unknown friends and fam. Around 78,000 years ago, a grieving mother placed her child in a grave in Kenya; the child was in a fetal position, which is how we know its burial was intentional. We really don’t know much about them; neither site, it should be noted, was marked with a fancy granite marker.

In the Middle Ages, your family’s status often determined where your carcass was buried; the higher you ranked in society, the closer you were interred to the church. If you were a criminal, mentally insane, or a vagrant with no money, well, no problem and no church for you. Your body was placed in a Potter’s Field, a term that goes back to Biblical times. In other words, your gravesite was not consecrated by the church, which at that time was a super-big deal for getting into heaven.

Everything changed during the Black Death in the mid-14th century. Deaths then occurred faster than people could be buried in a single grave, and so most of the dead went into mass graves, sometimes in churchyards but just as often not. In their haste to bury the dead, gravediggers sometimes overfilled the shallow pits, which caused big problems in sanitation. And with smell.

Fortunately, by the time the Great Plague arrived some 300 years later, those in charge of burials had come to realize that six feet under was the least you’d want to place a corpse in order to avoid disease transmission.

That six feet may have kept grave

robbers from stealing someone’s dearly departed in the late 1800s, when physicians and teaching hospitals were desperate for corpses to dissect. If that depth didn’t deter grave robbers like Brits William Burke and William Hare, who were famous in London for their daring grave robberies, placing a coffin two meters deep should at least have slowed them down.

Still, grave robbing was quite common in America prior to the Civil War

Did Americans avoid that kind of gruesomeness? Not really; although early laws allowed the bodies of criminals to be dissected, the use of your everyday citizen in teaching situations was forbidden. Still, grave robbing was quite common in America prior to the Civil War. By then, however, modern commercial cemeteries were being founded here and there across the country, starting in New York. This kept the dead out of churchyards, instead placing them in safer sites that were meant for profit—not that that stopped grave robbing, but it

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

did curtail it some. By the way, there’s a difference between a cemetery and a graveyard: same idea, but the latter is found next to a church; the former is generally in a neighborhood.

There’s good news if you’re a taphophile (someone who’s interested in cemeteries): You can visit the country’s largest cemeteries! Really....

• The Rose Hills Memorial Park and Mortuary is in Whittier, California, and boasts around 1,400 acres and more than 32 miles of roads going through it.

• The largest cemetery by number of graves is Calvary Cemetery in Queens, where more than three million souls rest in peace.

• Among other notable cemeteries is America’s oldest, the Miles Standish Cemetery in Duxbury, Massachusetts, where many of the graves date back nearly four centuries.

• The most famous, arguably, is Hollywood Forever Cemetery, known as the “Cemetery to the Stars.” There, you can visit Judy Garland, Paul Reubens, Tyrone Power, and Valerie Harper.

• And, of course, you can visit Arlington National Cemetery, if you’ve got the time to walk around its 625 acres.

Today, if you hope to be buried after you’ve breathed your last, the chances are that you’ll be interred in a large cemetery owned by a private business or a major corporation. If you are, though, you’ll be in a minority. While burial used to be the norm, more than 60 percent of today’s bodies are cremated and “green” burials are on the rise.

Even so, places where the dead are buried aren’t going away, so why not visit one of those graveyards this fall? Statistically, an average grave receives zero visitors 15 years after it’s filled, so they’ll be happy to see you. ▼

Terri Schlichenmeyer’s third book, The Book of Facts and Trivia: Science is available now.

Photo by Diane Helentjaris on Unspash.

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP

CAMP Library Chronicles

BY GLENN LASH

RAINBOW MEMBERS RECEIVE:

• Basic Membership Package

- Advance ticket sales to CAMP Rehoboth events

- Recognition in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

- Rainbow Member window cling(s)

- Weekly “What’s Happening at CAMP” email

• Discount on CAMP Rehoboth Event Tickets for Levels Green and above (as noted)

• Free Health Screenings, Counseling Services, and Support Groups

• Youth, Adult and Senior Programs, Services and Outreach

• The satisfaction of knowing you are helping others!

PAY ANNUALLY or MONTHLY

☐ PURPLE LEVEL ☐ $2400 annual or ☐ $200 monthly

Basic + 25% ticket discount and one 1/4 page ad in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

☐ INDIGO LEVEL ☐ $1200 annual or ☐ $100 monthly

Basic + 20% ticket discount

☐ BLUE LEVEL ☐ $900 annual or ☐ $75 monthly

Basic + 15% ticket discount

☐ GREEN LEVEL ☐ $600 annual or ☐ $50 monthly

Basic + 10% ticket discount

☐ YELLOW LEVEL ☐ $300 annual or ☐ $25 monthly

☐ ORANGE LEVEL ☐ $180 annual or ☐ $15 monthly

☐ RED BASIC ☐ $50 annual or ☐ Basic Dual/Family, $85 annual

☐ YOUNG ADULT (18-25 years old) ☐ $25 annual

NAME PARTNER/SPOUSE NAME ADDRESS

EMAIL 1 CELL 1

EMAIL 2 CELL 2

HOME PHONE

☐ Enclosed is my check payable to CAMP Rehoboth for the full annual amount.

☐ Please charge my Recurring Monthly or Annual Membership fee to:

CREDIT CARD NUMBER VALIDATION CODE EXP. DATE

SIGNATURE DATE

CORPORATE MATCHING

EMAIL

EXPECTED

History, by All Means

“All of us who are openly gay are living and writing the history of our movement.” –TAMMY

BALDWIN, US SENATOR

In observance of LGBTQ History Month, let’s traipse through the fiction shelves of CAMP Rehoboth’s Library.

Thought we were going to dust off some tomes given to prosy, rambling, or—worse—tedious loquacity? Nodding off already? Not this time. You just can’t beat reading about actual moments in time through the writings of those who were there.

Now entering the fuzzy world of “fictional autobiography,” “memoir in the form of a novel,” and “autobiographical novel.” Want accuracy and “dates?” By all means, reach for Homosexuals in History by A.L. Rowse (1977), Julia Penelope’s Lesbian Anthology (1993), or my favorite sleep aid, The Homosexual in History by Donald Webster Cory (1951).

But if you want to be immersed in the spirit of the times— the piquancy as they say—then check out these titles…. Wonder how lesbian life was in the 1950s and 1960s? Look no further than The Beebo Brinker Chronicles, a six-book series published between 1957 and 1962 by “Queen of Lesbian Pulp Fiction” Ann Weldy (pen name: Ann Bannon). As a homemaker to a straight man, Ann would “do research” in the lesbian bars in Greenwich Village. Another writer with a pseudonym is Andrew Holleran (aka Eric Garber) whose 1978 Dancer from the Dance is one of our community’s best written works. His pal from the Violet Quill, Felice Picano, has several era-evoking titles. I especially like Men Who Loved Me. It takes place in the 1960s when, as a young man, Picano got to meet such gay luminaries as W.H. Auden, Gore Vidal, and Edward Gorey.

Across the pond in 1985, Jeanette Winterson published Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. As a 25-year-old lesbian, Winterson reveals life in a small working class “stuck-in-time” town. While humorously written, she waited until 2011 to share the starker truth in Why Be Happy When You Can Be Normal?

Celebrate LGBTQ History Month by taking a dive into the deep end of the fiction section! ▼

Glenn Lash is CAMP Rehoboth’s Volunteer Librarian Extraordinaire.

ALL ABOUT INK

BODIES +Art

Once upon a time tattoos were considered taboo by many. Not anymore! According to a Pew Institute study, 32 percent of the those living in the US have at least one tattoo and 22 percent have more than one. Tattoo enthusiasts come from all walks of life—special education teachers, counselors, home inspectors, members of the US House and Senate and, of course, tattoo shop owners.

There are almost 60 shops in Delaware alone. Quite a few are in or near Rehoboth; each has its own personality. For example, Tough Luck is reminiscent of a graphics design facility, Electric Tiger looks like an art gallery with walls plastered with tattoo designs, and the “lobby” of Heart Drawn could be someone’s living room. The First State does not regulate each individual tattoo artist, but instead regulates each body piercing establishment. To apply for a tattoo or body piercing license with the health department, shop owners must complete an Application for Permit.

The history of tattoos, or “body art,” goes back thousands of years. Tattooing has been practiced across the globe since Neolithic times. The oldest discovery of tattooed human skin was found on the body of Otzi the Iceman, dating to between 3370 and 3100 BC. Other tattooed mummies have been recovered from at least 49 archaeological sites.

Wikipedia describes a tattoo as a body alteration procedure in which pigments, dyes, or tattoo ink are injected into the dermis layer of the skin to create either permanent or transient designs. The word ‘tattoo’ is derived from the Samoan word ‘tatau’ meaning ‘to strike.’ It first appeared in English in the 18th century.

People claim that tattoos represent the feelings and encounters that have shaped their lives, according to Psychology magazine. Some consider tattoos representative of personal bonds, values, and beliefs. Others just view them as an aesthetic creation of their life.

Motivation varies among locals and

visitors who explain to tattoo artists their rationales and objectives for getting a tattoo—or multiple tattoos. Shop owners say that clients have a good idea of what they want and come to the shop with a prototype or select from a collection of tattoo art.

Why they do it is as interesting as the designs themselves.

Ayers was a self-described “tattoo virgin” until she was 41 years old, when she decided to get one while training for an athletic competition.

Tough Luck shop owner Kris Dilworth is a former graphics artist. Tattooing stemmed from his cultural ancestry. His mother is Hawaiian, and tattooing is part of Polynesian culture. He felt an urge to learn. “Working as a graphics artist seven hours in a cubicle on Walnut Street in Philadelphia sealed the deal,” he said. “I needed a new path, a more human interaction.”

Dilworth, who is fully tattooed, says he thrives on meeting people, helping people, and exploring creativity. His clients range in age from 18 to 98. Shanan Bianco and her friend Margo Ayers are two of

BY MARY JO TARALLO

them. Bianco, a special education teacher, got her first tattoo, an anchor, 11 years ago on a trip to Baltimore’s Fells Point. She loved old school sailor artwork, and the ocean. She recently enlisted Dilworth to cover up her anchor tattoo with a rose and she plans to add more. The rose is her daughter’s birth flower, she says.

Ayers was a self-described “tattoo virgin” until she was 41 years old, when she decided to get one while training for an athletic competition. She started with a smaller discreet symbol on the back of her calf. Now she has seven. “Personally, I wait until I have the vision of the piece that feels right. Kris looks at my ideas and then he customizes the piece, and we talk about placement,” said Ayers, a teacher of the blind and visually impaired.

Shawn Harris was another late bloomer. The Escapades Travel owner and consultant with Accent on Travel says she never considered getting a tattoo until her 18-year-old daughter suggested they get matching tattoos. Harris was 43 when they chose a simple design of four birds on a tree branch with the phrase “Life is in the little things” below it. “My tattoo has Molly’s handwriting and Molly’s has my handwriting,” she said. Harris and her husband John have matching tattoos—a Stratocaster (guitar) with wings sprouting from it and including their initials. “We wanted a tattoo we created together to signify not only our commitment to each other, but also our love of music and the freedom to let our love thrive and grow to magnificent heights, hence the wings.”

Electric Tiger’s Ian Gillin got his first tattoo—a small lollipop on his leg—at the age of 17. He says it happened in a friend’s bedroom with a cheap tattoo machine purchased on eBay. “I had always wanted tattoos, seeing them on my father and his friends and also seeing metal musicians covered in them growing up,” he said. “Now, I have too many to count.”

Nan Martino, aka DJ Nan, wears her advocation on her arm with a headset

Shawn Harris…says she never considered getting a tattoo until her 18-year-old daughter suggested they get matching tattoos.

flanked by a rainbow banner. She also remembers her brother with a tattoo depicting pancreatic cancer.

Commemorating the lives of deceased loved ones is a common motivator.

Tama Viola’s Betty Boop, “Mother Dear” tattoo is in remembrance of her mother, Elizabeth (aka Betty), who passed away from ovarian cancer at the

age of 66. “I always called her “Mother Dear” and she loved Betty Boop so I hold her near my heart,” said Viola, an avid golfer and member, along with Martino, of the CAMP Rehoboth Women’s Golf League.

“My mother-in-law passed away three years ago, and multiple family members got red roses to commemorate her, as that was her favorite flower,” said Se-

renity Counseling’s Liz Miller (LCSW). “I created my own bouquet of the favorite flowers of my grandparents who passed and other living family members’ favorite flowers.”

Tattooing is a family affair for Miller. Her daughter started getting tattoos at an early age and has too many to count now, according to Miller. Her first tattoo was a trumpet—the sound Miller’s grandfather made when humming songs. Her husband has two full sleeves and other tattoos. (A sleeve refers to a tattoo that covers the outer panel of an arm from shoulder to wrist.)

Home inspector Rob Graves literally collaborates with his 23-year-old daughter on some of his tattoos. When she was in ninth grade, she had a class assignment to draw a dragon. She became fascinated and created an entire sketchbook of dragons, according to Graves. “I fell in love with most of them. I told her that one day I was going to get a sleeve with some of her dragons on them. She is an amazing artist.” Graves started the project about two-and-a-half years ago and it is still a work in progress.

“I wish she would practice and become a tattoo artist. That way I could have better access, and they would be a whole lot cheaper,” he joked.

Tattoos range in price from about $50 for a small tattoo to several thousand for a sleeve. The website Derm Dude offers an informative explanation that details why and how costs vary including complexity of design, hours involved, and hourly fees charged. ▼

Mary Jo Tarallo is a former journalist and public relations professional for various non-profits including a ski industry trade association.

opposite page Kris

Pictured,

Dilworth. This page, clockwise: Kris Dilworth, Shanan Bianco; Shanan Bianco’s rose tattoo; Tama Viola; Ian Gillan; Electric Tiger Tattoo; Liz Miller’s bouquet tattoo; Margo Ayers.

It’s My Life

From Greta to Grumble

Two weeks ago, I boarded a plane to Florida and went to visit a guy I met online.

Halfway there, during a layover in North Carolina, I worried that I was making a mistake. What if he wasn’t anything like he seemed online? What if he wasn’t what I’d made him out to be in my head? What if I was being impulsive and foolish? Years ago, I made the mistake of falling in love with a man I met virtually. When we finally got together in person, after months of talking and messaging and making plans, I discovered that the reality was nothing like the fantasy. So, I was wary of doing it again.

When I reached Tampa, my guy was waiting for me as soon as I reached the main terminal. And as soon as I saw him, I knew I had not made another ill-fated decision. He was everything I’d hoped for and more, even if he did try to pee on my carry-on.

Last month, I wrote about the unexpected death of our dog Greta. I also commented that at some point we might decide to get another dog. I said to Cubby, “I’m not going to look. If we’re meant to have another dog, one will find us. Maybe Greta will send us a friend who needs us as much as we need them.”

Not long after, I happened to see a post shared by a friend on Facebook. What caught my eye was a photo of a handsome elderly Chihuahua mix. “Don’t read it,” I told myself. “It’s going to be a sad dog story, and there’s nothing you can do.”

But I did read it. The post was from a man whose sister had recently passed from cancer. He was in Florida, settling her affairs. One of those affairs was her elderly dog, Bear, who at 15 had just had his life upended. The man could not take Bear back to his home in New York City, nor could he find a shelter or rescue in Florida who could help, as they’re overrun with dogs and an elderly one is

a hard sell in the best of times. With time running out and no help available, the man feared he would have to consider the worst possible option.

Bear stomped up to me, put his paws on my knees, and grumbled. If I wasn’t already in love with him before, I was then.

I didn’t think there was anything I could do. But I have a friend, Knicki, who lives in Florida and is involved in dog rescue. And I couldn’t help but think of my sister Nancy, who ran a dog rescue and like the man’s sister passed from cancer a few years ago. I knew she

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

would want me to at least try. So, I sent Knicki a message: “Hey, I know this is a longshot, but…”

A day later, Knicki texted me a photo of Bear sitting in her car on his way to her house. When I asked her if she thought he would get adopted quickly she said, “Oh, I already have a home for him. Yours.”

I LOLed back. She didn’t. “He grumbles,” she wrote.

That’s when I knew I was in trouble. The nickname Knicki uses for me is Grumbles, a shortening of the moniker Grumbledog, which was the name I used in the online photography group in which we met almost 20 years ago. That name in turn was what I called my very first dog, Roger, who used to lie on the floor making grumbling noises. Knicki knows I can’t resist grumbly old dogs. And Bear apparently was a grumbler. I tried to resist, at least for a day or two. Then I found myself booking a ticket to Florida. For the two weeks leading up to the trip I tried not to think about how ridiculous it was to be flying down there to bring back a 15-year-old dog. “He’s guaranteed heartbreak,” I told everyone. “Why am I doing this?”

Knicki and Bear met me at the airport, beneath the giant flamingo statue that is the prominent feature of the terminal. Bear stomped up to me, put his paws on my knees, and grumbled. If I wasn’t already in love with him before, I was then.

We flew home to Ohio the next day. In line to go through security, the woman ahead of me asked me about Bear. She was involved in dog rescue too, she said, and was curious how I’d ended up adopting a dog from so far way. I told her the story, including Greta’s passing and the random series of events that resulted in Bear and me finding each other. “I know it sounds a little weird,” I said, “but maybe Greta really did send him to us because we need each other.”

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It’s My Life

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Continued from page 48

The only luxury new home community steps to Rehoboth Beach, just blocks from the boardwalk, restaurants, and Dewey Beach

“Here’s another sign,” she said. “A good friend of mine has a business making organic dog treats and donates proceeds to shelter dogs. The company is called Love, Greta, after her Greta who passed away.”

As I type this, Bear is chewing on a Bacon Me Crazy treat from Love, Greta, which arrived in a care package from the company’s owner over the weekend. He got it for being a good boy while he endured the daily subcutaneous fluids I administer to him after his first vet visit here revealed that, like our Greta, he has some kidney issues. When I first heard the news, I immediately thought, I can’t go through this again.

Then I remember all the unlikely coincidences that brought this old grumbly dog into our lives, and I don’t think they were coincidences at all. I think he’s here for a reason. He needed someone to help him, and we needed someone to help heal our hearts. Tomorrow, on the 14th anniversary of the day I brought Greta home, I will scatter her ashes around the edge of our property, where she’ll join past dogs Roger, Spike, Sam, Andy, and George. Bear will walk with us. How long he’ll be here, I don’t know. But whether it’s a few months or a few years, he’s now one of the pack. ▼

November 2 & 3 (ticketed preview night on November 1)

Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary awardwinning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com.

This yearly event features a variety of artisans exhibiting and selling their fine craft creations. Visitors can stroll the campus and find artists throughout the historic Homestead, Chambers Studio, and the Corkran and Tubbs galleries to select the perfect gifts for family, friends and themselves. A special ticketed preview night will take place on Friday, November 1 from 5-7pm, giving patrons early access to the show!

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE

BEACH AREA LODGING

Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave

Atlantic View Hotel, Ocean Front 2 Clayton St, Dewey

Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave

Beach View Hotel, 6 Wilmington Ave

302-227-2511

302-227-3878

302-227-9446

302-227-2999

Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave 302-227-6688

Canalside Inn, 34 6th St 302-226-2006

Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave

302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave 302-226-2742

LEWES FOOD & DRINK

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.com.

REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS

Atlantic Jewelry, 313 South Boardwalk

New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy

Stuart Kingston Gallery, 19470 Coastal Hwy

Unfinished Business, 18389 Olde Coach Rd.

ART GALLERIES | MUSEUMS

Biggs Museum of American Art, thebiggsmuseum.org

Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave

Peninsula Gallery, 502 E Savannah Rd

Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln

Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK

1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center

Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave

Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave

Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave

Café Azafrán, 18 Baltimore Ave

Chesapeake & Maine, 316 Rehoboth Ave

Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave

Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave

Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats 320 Rehoboth Ave

Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave

Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 3 South First St

Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave

Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St

Just In Thyme, 38163 Robinsons Dr

Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave

Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave

Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave

Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave

Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave

Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave

The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue

302-226-0675

302-227-8484

302-227-2524

302-645-8700

302-227-2050

302-645-0551

302-227-8408

302-227-7310

302-645-9355

302-226-9001

302-227-3674

302-227-6515

302-227-8100

302-226-3600

302-227-2646

302-227-1023

302-226-2739

302-227-3353

302-527-1400

302-226-1044

302-227-7653

302-227-3100

302-226-3066

302-227-6966

302-226-2240

302-226-1139

302-227-6080

302-227-1007

302-567-2726

Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 26089 Shoppes at Long Neck

M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd

302-947-1044

302-645-4945

Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd 302-226-8977

St. George’s Episcopal, 20271 Beaver Dam Rd, Harbeson 302-227-7202

St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes

Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy

Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro

Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)

ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project

CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth

302-645-8479

302-313-5838

302-945-5253

302-227-2109

866-227-7441

302-654-5326

302-227-5620

CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org 302-227-5620

CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect 302-227-5620

Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+) 302-227-2055

CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+) 302-515-3040

Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center 800-223-9074

Delaware Human Relations Commission

Housing & public accommodation 877-544-8626

Delaware Information Line 2-1-1Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival 302-265-3020

Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+)

302-645-9293

Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth 302-645-7449

PFLAG-Rehoboth—3rd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes

Social Security Administration—Georgetown office 800-772-1213

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

Jewish Family Services .......................................................

Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching

Nancy Commisso, LCSW, Therapeutic Services

Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes

ELECTRICIANS

Silver Electric

FINANCIAL SERVICES

County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd

Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley

FLORISTS

Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave

Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1

Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties

AIDS Delaware – New Castle County

AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide

Brandywine Urology Consultants

Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy

CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth

Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic

Christiana Care LGBTQ+ Health Initiatives

Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide

Delaware Hospice

Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center

National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)

Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln

Maplewood Dental Associates, 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy

INSURANCE

Eric Blondin, State Farm

Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

PWW Law LLC, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes

Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center

One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave

Reiki CENTRAL, thecentralfirm.com

PEST CONTROL

Activ Pest Solutions, 16803 New Rd, Lewes

PET RETAIL

Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave

302-478-9411

302-754-1954

703-598-2938

302-574-6954

302-227-1107

302-226-9800

302-644-6620

302-227-9481

302-645-9520

302-226-ROBB

302-727-5331

302-260-9478

302-226-3519

302-652-6776

800-422-0429

302-824-7039

302-645-3300

302-227-5620

302-933-3420

302-733-3113

302-654-5471

800-838-9800

302-297-8431

302-427-0787

302-226-7960

302-645-6671

302-645-7283

302-644-3276

302-628-4140

302-644-8634

302-645-0407

302-226-3552

302-408-0878

302-645-1502

302-226-2690

Pet Portraits by Monique 717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn

302-856-6361

Humane Animal Partners (formerly Delaware Humane Association & Delaware SPCA) ......................................................... 302-200-7159

Little Landmines Pet Waste Removal. littlelandmines.com 302-521-3983

Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes ........... 302-645-7445

REAL ESTATE

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty

302-745-5122

Chris Beagle, Compass 302-273-4998

Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy 302-381-4871

Hugh Fuller, Realtor 302-745-1866

John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy 302-703-6987

Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave 302-236-2430

Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy 302-645-6664

Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave 302-227-3883

Mark Macomber, RE/MAX Realty Group, 317 Rehoboth Ave 302-584-0815

McWilliams Ballard, Kevin McDuffie kmcduffie@mcwb.com

McWilliams Ballard, Justin Orr jorr@mcwb.com

Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty 302-227-3883

Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy .......................... 302-227-1222

The Joe Maggio Group, 37169 Rehoboth Ave Ext., #11 ...... 302-226-3770

Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave 302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes 302-313-6658

The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave 302-278-6100

CHEER Transportation (age 50+) 302-856-4909

Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk 302-644-0400

Olivia Travel .......................................................... 800-631-6277 ext. 696

Where 2 Next Travel? where2nexttravel.com 302-945-3460

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November.

Historical Headliners

A Breadth of Mind: Margaret Mead

Some people are ahead of their time, doing things, or espousing ideas, or living life in ways considered outside accepted norms. This has been especially true for women, who for millennia were consigned to household chores and duties in a traditional heterosexual marriage, where the wife was expected—even commanded in certain religious traditions—to fulfill her husband’s sexual needs at the expense of her own. In fact, in more conservative thinking, women had no sexual needs at all.

Even among more enlightened minds, where women’s sexual pleasure was at least acknowledged, a woman’s pleasure and sexuality was strictly defined as heterosexual desire, or the perversity of same sex desire. It was an either/or proposition.

Cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead had other ideas.

Born in 1901 in Philadelphia, Mead’s educated and intellectual family moved frequently when she was a child, until she was finally enrolled in the Buckingham Friends School, a Quaker school in Lahaska, Pennsylvania. Though not Quaker herself, the school provided young Margaret with stability and a solid education.

Mead’s education continued at DePauw University in Indiana, where she briefly flirted with religious studies, but after one year she transferred to Barnard College in New York City. She earned a bachelor’s degree from Barnard in 1923, and went on to earn a master’s degree from Columbia University in 1924.

It was during these years at Barnard and Columbia when Mead developed her interest in the cultural practices of non-Western and tribal societies. This interest led her to do field work in Samoa in 1925. What she discovered in Samoa was a society whose ideas regarding sexuality and gender were more fluid than those in her native America. The result of her research was her book Coming of Age in Samoa, published in 1928. The book was met with accolades from important academic circles, and propelled Mead into

the first rank of anthropology scholars. She went on to prestigious posts at New York’s Museum of Natural History, was elected a Fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, and a member of the American Philosophical Society, among other posts and honors.

Mead’s early interest in sexuality and gender expanded into broader investigations of culture’s effects on human expression.

But it’s Mead’s ideas and personal practices regarding sexuality and gender we’re interested in here. Throughout her career and ongoing research into sexuality and gender, Mead developed the position that sexuality and gender were culturally determined; specifically, that a society’s culture might tightly define sexual and gender roles, such as found in America, or more loosely define those roles and identities, which she found in non-Western or tribal societies. Her ideas became highly popular in the 1960s and ’70s, informing the Sexual Revolution led by college youth during those years.

Mead’s position that sexuality and gender are cultural manifestations are

BY ANN APTAKER

somewhat in conflict with today’s ideas that sexual preference might be innate, the “born this way” school of thought. Her concept of fluid sexuality, however, is quite in line with today’s expressions of gender fluidity in our LGBTQ+ community.

Mead herself practiced what she preached. Though married three times, she had a long-running relationship with anthropologist and folklorist Ruth Benedict, who had been one of Mead’s teachers at Barnard. Benedict shared Mead’s ideas about the effect of culture on sexuality and gender identity, expanding those ideas to include its effect on personality as a whole. Together, as well as individually, they became two of the most respected scholars in the world, honors unusual for women at the time.

Mead’s early interest in sexuality and gender expanded into broader investigations of culture’s effects on human expression. In 1976, she was inducted into the national Women’s Hall of Fame. By the time of her death in 1978, she’d delved into ideas regarding race, the position of women in the world, and other social issues.

Though lauded in her lifetime and beyond as one of the world’s major scholars, there has been criticism of her research and its conclusions regarding the effects of culture on sexuality and gender. That is not unusual in the academic world, where ideas are challenged, refined, and challenged again in the pursuit of knowledge. But what has not been challenged are Mead’s breakthroughs in studying and researching the subjects in the first place, entering into the research without the constraints of predetermined ideas. Today’s LGBTQ+ community, with our broad spectrum of identities, would not be unfamiliar to the brilliant mind of Margaret Mead. ▼

Ann Aptaker is the author of short stories and the Lambda & three-time Goldie award winning Cantor Gold series. Her latest book is A Crime of Secrets.

DÉCOR AND MORE!

Have Yourself a Scary Little…

Ilive on the edge of Brandywine Park, in a small Wilmington neighborhood called Happy Valley. While it is lovely, it isn’t heavy on street lighting. This can make night walks with my dog, Bingo, an adventure. On one of these recent excursions, he and I both were startled into a small panic by a shadowy object perched on a nearby lawn. No, this wasn’t one of those charming 2024 election signs, though you’d be right for assuming so. This was something else altogether: a mass of Halloween-themed decorations which turned this yard into a small cemetery, complete with a creepy, life-sized mechanical figure which moaned and let out plumes of smoke from its nostrils. Needless to say, the dog went nuts. So did I.

I spent the next few days fixated on this encounter, driving past this specific yard in daylight, fascinated by all the effort. I soon discovered other houses with similar set-ups. How could I have missed the memo on this trend? When did carved pumpkins get replaced by light shows, tombstones, and smoke machines? I could not rest until I got some answers.

A tip from a friend led me to the first stop in my investigation: the local Home Depot. Instantly, I was transported from a place where you’d buy a hammer to the epicenter of Halloween-themed decorations. What I saw left me gobsmacked. Just inside the door, beyond the last of the summer flowers, was a sea of ghoulish figures, all intended to transform the exterior of one’s house from a residence to a house of horrors. They ranged from a pair of chipmunks dressed as mummies carrying giant candy corn, to a skeleton of a dog which, even in its bare-boned state, looked like it could do some damage. Looming just beyond these figures was something so outrageous, it caused me to gasp and slow blink: a 12-foot Grim Reaper with psychedelic, swirling eyes— not only terrifying, but also tripping—a concerning combination, if you ask me. I wandered out of the store in a daze. Where were the jack-o-lanterns and the cobwebs you could stretch around the

bushes? Clearly, the Halloween game has changed, and now folks were going whole-hog with the theme.

When I was growing up, you got a pumpkin, carved it, and hoped it didn’t rot by the time trick-or-treating came around.

When did carved pumpkins get replaced by light shows, tombstones, and smoke machines?

Occasionally, a neighbor would have green lightbulbs in an outdoor lamp, or maybe a spooky door covering with Frankenstein looking as if he were peeking through the threshold. If you wanted the full fright fest, you went to Jason’s Woods, or something at the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia. Those days seem to be relegated squarely the past. Now, all you need to do is visit your neighbor, or take the dog for a walk to get the crap scared out of you.

My investigation continued to the heart of American culture: Walmart. It turns out, you can fill your yard with billowing, blow-up characters, from Pennywise to the sisters from Hocus Pocus. In addition, the variety of decorating accessories included bare trees, grave markers, random bones, and creepy crawlies, all of which had me walking a bit quicker than

BY CHRISTOPHER MOORE

usual. I am terrified of snakes, so the first sight of a fake serpent sent me straight to the exit. But I had already seen enough and was getting hip to what is happening. The plethora of options across multiple aisles was less of a shock and more of a reckoning: the market for Halloween decorations is big money.

Spherical Insights, which provides market research across sectors, notes that spending on Halloween decorations in the US reached $5.25 billion in 2023. That is expected to exceed $10 billion in a decade. For purposes of comparison, the National Retail Federation states that the market for Christmas-themed decorations in America reached $7.8 billion last year. Is it possible our collective hunger for horror could eclipse our ongoing relationship with Santa, sky-high holiday trees, and candy canes? It’s hard to say—and it’s endlessly fascinating.

Now that the shock of discovery has worn off, I am settled into reality. In a world dominated by war, politics, social media shenanigans, and the general stress of modern life, the fun of any holiday can be a distraction, even if it’s temporary. For that alone, I can forgive that my neighbors have turned their respective yards into what look like the sets of a bad horror movie.

I also take solace in knowing these seasonal sojourns are temporary. Just as Halloween’s spooky spell has been cast over our lives, something else will be lurking on the horizon: something so terrifying I hesitate to speak its name. That’s right, any moment now radio DJs, commercial programmers, and streaming services will be summoning the greatest monster of all time: Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Consider this your warning. ▼

Christopher Moore is Interim Executive Director of AIDS Delaware. He loves NPR, naughty jokes, and a man who lives in Toronto. Email him at moore.cc@gmail.com.

Photo by Oxana Melis on Unsplash.

2024 ELECTION  LGBTQ+ Advocacy

A Conversation with Governor Whitmer

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

The Michigan Governor Knows We Have an Ally in the Harris-Walz Campaign

Since becoming the governor of Michigan in 2019, Gretchen Whitmer has been a fierce ally for the LGBTQ+ community—not just through her words, but through lawful action. “That woman from Michigan,” originally used as an insult from presidential candidate Donald Trump in 2020, was turned on its head by Whitmer, becoming a defining and enduring part of her stalwart identity.

Even nationally, the moniker has stuck. By owning it, Whitmer has flipped the derisive comment, using it as a driving force in her rise as a prominent voice for equality as it pertains to both identity and gender. During a recent appearance on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, Gov. Whitmer took that phrase one step further when host Andy Cohen asked her what her Real Housewife tagline would be: “Some people call me that woman from Michigan. I call it getting shit done!”

Given her national exposure, it’s no surprise Whitmer has a book out about, well, how she got shit done, even in the face of opposition, including from Trump. Its title, True Gretch, embodies her self-professed “joyful warrior” spirit. She is Michigan’s governor, sure, but Gov. Whitmer is also a national luminary who represents not only the kind of leader Michigan needs, but the kind of advocate the LGBTQ+ community deserves. In an era where representation matters more than ever everywhere, especially in government, her voice has clearly resonated beyond Michigan, inspiring a new generation of leaders ready to tackle the issues that matter most.

With November 5 right around the corner, Whitmer recently shared with me that, like many of us, she’s on edge about the outcome of this upcoming election. “I’m feeling the same way,” she says, “that’s why I’m working my tail off.”

During our wide-ranging interview, Gov. Whitmer discussed the pivotal role of the upcoming election, the urgent need for every voice to be heard, and how she

believes the Harris-Walz administration will support LGBTQ+ people.

“We don’t want to wake up the day after this next election and wish we had done more and watch our rights and our loved ones pay a price because we could have done more and we didn’t.”

CHRIS AZZOPARDI: Let’s start by talking about our shared anxiety and how we’re handling it. I know you like a beer, but what’s your election elixir? What magical ingredients are you putting into your glass?

GRETCHEN WHITMER: I’m drinking a lot of water, to be honest. I’m trying to make sure that I’m maximizing every waking minute. This is going to be a close race. And with such high stakes, it’s just going to be really important that we remind people that every vote counts. Every vote makes a difference.

CA: I want to acknowledge the work that

you’ve done for the LGBTQ+ community in Michigan. It has been life saving for so many. How do you believe that the Harris-Walz campaign aligns with your administration’s efforts over the last few years to support the LGBTQ+ community here in Michigan?

GW: Well, Kamala Harris has a long history of being a great ally of the LGBTQ+ community. Whether it is combating hate crimes or fighting for equity and equality, she’s got the receipts. And so, I’m really proud to be supporting her and playing a role in her campaign, and I know that we are capable of doing so much more together with an ally like her in the White House.

CA: Is there something in particular that you could point to as an example in which you felt like Harris herself really showed allegiance to the LGBTQ+ community?

GW: Well, as a prosecutor and District Attorney and Attorney General of San Francisco, she started her career fighting to protect this community. Whether it’s marriage or fighting hate crimes or creating equal rights under the law, Kamala Harris has been on the front line her whole career. And she doesn’t waffle, she doesn’t change, she doesn’t put her finger to the wind to figure out which way political winds are blowing. She does what she knows the right thing is to do and that means standing by and fighting for the LGBTQ+ community.

CA: As a recent example, she denounced the “Don’t Say Gay” laws in Florida.

GW: Good point.

CA: I can’t help but consider all the LGBTQ+ protections you’ve supported in Michigan, and what could happen to them if, heaven forbid, Harris doesn’t win. What steps can you take to ensure those protections remain secure?

GW: Well, I’m proud of what we were able to accomplish with a new Democratic majority with regard to Elliott-Larsen and banning conversion therapy. I know that with the Dobbs decision, the Trump appointees have already signaled that they

Continued on page 64

Proudly Protecting Rehoboth Beach

Nobody Cares if You’re Gay F

“I kind of wish all of society was like I feel in the fire company. Nobody cares if you’re gay. It’s [just] are you there, are you willing to serve, are you doing the job.”

rom steamy romance novels to bachelorette parties, the macho trope of the hot fireman is a familiar one. Google “gay fireman” and you’ll see that beefy men wearing heavy boots and carrying large hoses (I know, I know) also have crossthe-aisle appeal.

The reality isn’t quite as sexy. Firefighters—gay or straight, male or female—protect property and save lives, often at real risk to their own (in 2022, 88 firefighters died on the job).

When R. Kevin Mallinson showed up for his dream job as a firefighter for the Key West Fire Department on September 29, 1981, he was ready to face the dangers of his work. What he wasn’t ready for was danger from his fellow firefighters. “We heard you’re a faggot” was the blunt greeting he received that first day. During his years of service, Kevin suffered taunts, threats, vandalism, and even direct attacks. Kevin relates his experiences as America’s first openly gay professional firefighter in his memoir Alarm in the Firehouse. It’s a story that is both inspiring and appalling.

At around the same time in Rehoboth Beach, a battle was brewing. Increasing numbers of LGBTQ+ folks had been coming to the nation’s summer capital since the 1960s, but their visibility increased in the 70s and 80s. Then, in 1985, Mayor John Hughes for the first time publicly discussed “the gay problem.” It would be a while before attitudes changed (with a huge assist from CAMP Rehoboth), and the LGBTQ+ community became an integral part of Rehoboth Beach.

But what of that bastion of macho male brotherhood, the fire department?

“I joined the Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company [in 2017] after a discussion with one of their firefighters who also happens to be gay,” says Deputy Chief Kent Swarts. “As a former firefighter myself, I was shocked at what a non-issue it was with everyone I came in contact with. I’ve made great friends and have become a leader in the department

BY NANCY SAKADUSKI

because of me, not because I’m gay.”

According to Kent, 13 of the Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company members identity as LGBTQ+.

One of those members is Kathleen Taylor (fire police), whose wife, Mary Rossettini, also serves with the fire company. After the couple moved here, they heard grumblings from locals about all the new people moving into the area and being a strain on the system, so they started looking for ways to give back.

The idea of joining the fire company came naturally to Kathleen. “I had a history of first responders in my family,” she says. “My great-grandfather and my grandfather were in a fire company.” Her second great-uncle, William Fitzgerald, had badge #1 in the Passaic New Jersey Fire Company back in the 1890s.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE!

Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company Fire Company Fire Company

FIREFIGHTER / RESCUE / AUXILIARY / ASSSOCIATE / JUNIOR FIREFIGHTER

“Serving our community since 1906”

Kathleen has now been with the Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company for more than four years. “I’m very happy, very impressed, and very pleased with being able to serve with the fire company,” she says. “I kind of wish all of society was like I feel in the fire company. Nobody cares if you’re gay…. It’s [just] are you there, are you willing to serve, are you doing the job.”

Deputy Chief Swarts is responsible for training and operations. “We follow the state requirement to conduct sexual harassment prevention training and that includes sensitivity training,” he says, but is quick to add that inclusivity is not a problem. “Because of the efforts from the CAMP founders that began decades ago,” he says, “I believe many of the long-time members have become acclimated to our diverse community…. Most younger members coming into the department could care less about the orientation of the members. Others that may not be as enlightened quickly fall into step.”

The Rehoboth Beach Volunteer Fire Company is actively looking for new members. They pay for and provide all necessary training, and they have many

roles to fill, including junior members (ages 15-18), active firefighters (age 18+), associate members who can help with fundraising and non-emergency activities, and auxiliary. They are actively seeking members who identify as LGBTQ+ (you will see recruiting ads in Letters). Karl Hornberger, who is tasked with membership, says, “One of our goals is to make our fire company look more representative of the community we serve.” Kathleen adds, “We need as much help as we can get, and I’d love to pull more from our community.… If you’re going to show up,

if you’re going to do the job, and you’re going to put the time in, come on down!”

To find out if the Rehoboth Beach Fire Company is a fit for you, go to rehobothbeachfire.com/page/recruitment. ▼

Nancy Sakaduski is an award-winning writer and editor who owns Cat & Mouse Press in Lewes, Delaware.

Pictured, opposite page L-R, Kathleen Taylor, Kent

All photos courtesy of the RBVFC.

Swarts. Above: RB Volunteer Fire Company battles local blazes

are open to disenfranchising and rolling back rights that we’ve gained in the last two decades, and that’s why we can’t afford to have four years of Donald Trump. It’s already had devastating consequences, and it could be just the beginning if he has another four-year term.

CA: If he secures another four-year term, does that put something like the Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act at risk?

GW: Well, they can’t undo what we’ve done in Michigan, but a Supreme Court can undermine that, yes. A federal law could absolutely supersede what we’ve done. And that’s why whether it is LGBTQ+ rights or women’s reproductive rights or simply any other right, like to marry who you love, to make sure that you can access healthcare or contraception—all of these things fall under that same right of privacy, and so they all continue to be in jeopardy.

CA: A new Human Rights Campaign survey reports that Harris is leading Trump by nearly 67 points among LGBTQ+ voters: 74 percent of LGBTQ+ voters plan to vote for Harris versus nearly 8 percent for Trump. I am still shocked that there is a portion of our community who is voting for Trump. What would you say to LGBTQ+ voters who are either uncommitted or are considering voting for Trump?

GW: I’d say look at these two candidates and think about not just your life today,

but future generations of LGBTQ+ Americans who simply want to be recognized, protected, and respected under the law. It’s important that we think beyond our own individual lives and think about what disintegrating rights mean for anyone who identifies as a member of the community or an ally of the community.

CA: Do those poll numbers surprise you?

GW: Yes, because this is a really stark choice between someone who has denigrated people in the community, someone who has spewed hateful rhetoric to divide us, someone who has only ever made decisions that benefit himself, as opposed to a leader who has been showing up for the community her whole career, a leader who cares about the next generation and understands the lives that we live, who has worked an hourly job and taken care of a sick parent, a leader who knows how to get things done and sees us and understands us because she’s lived lives like ours.

CA: When I saw you and Gov. Tim Walz share the stage at the Harris-Walz rally in August, you seemed to have a special bond.

GW: Yeah. I’ve gotten to know Tim very, very well these last few years since we’ve been governors together. We came in together, and he’s the real deal.

CA: When it comes to Walz, can you speak to your shared commitment to

supporting LGBTQ+ individuals and what has impressed you about his work for the LGBTQ+ community in Minnesota?

GW: I think one of the great things about Tim is he calls it the way he sees it, and I like to think that we’re very similar in that regard. When you’ve got all these efforts to scare people and sow hate and ban books—LGBTQ+ books—he was willing to use his platform to say, “A bigger threat to our kids is gun violence, not what books are in their libraries.”

Whether it’s because he’s a former National Guardsman or he worked in our schools or he’s a governor, he’s always used his platform to be a great ally and to take action to protect the community and to support the community.

CA: As states across the country have turned back the clock on LGBTQ+ issues and rights over the last several years, Michigan has become a safe haven. So has Minnesota. Do you think Tim could do the same for LGBTQ+ people in America?

GW: I absolutely believe that a Harris-Walz administration will be looking at all things through the lens of “How do we create opportunity and how do we protect every American?”—but especially Americans who have dealt with that uniquely hostile history and environment in this country.

And so, obviously, I’m thinking about the LGBTQ+ community, as well as other communities. And one of the things that I’m really proud of, that I also think is kind of funny as we’ve been competing with Minnesota as we’ve enacted lots of similar policies, whether it’s feeding every child in our schools, or it is full civil rights protections for every person, or it is creating opportunity and leveling financial or historic barriers for people, I know Tim will take those values into the federal government and be a great partner to Kamala Harris as well.

CA: There have been two recent acts of hate speech by state officials on LGBTQ+ officials in Michigan. One occurred on August 22, after the Democratic National Convention, when former co-chair of the Michigan GOP, Meshawn Maddock, took to X and captioned a photo of Michigan DNC attendees, including Oakland County Executive Dave Coulter and Rep. Jason Morgan, by writing “Fags and Hags.”

Continued on page 66

Then, in late August, Oakland County Probate Court Judge Kathleen Ryan attacked Coulter with hateful anti-gay slurs and names in a recording that surfaced. What is your reaction to these recent derogatory comments directed toward members of the LGBTQ+ community?

GW: It’s disgusting and it’s unacceptable, and it is horrific to think that someone in a position of power who delivers justice from the bench could say things that are so offensive and denigrate Michiganders. To see it coming from someone who has a high office in the GOP is equally horrific, which is why anyone who is a member of the LGBTQ+ community who doesn’t identify as a Democrat, I invite you to join us. You got a seat at our table.

CA: Morgan acknowledged his concern for LGBTQ+ youth who feel the impact of queerphobia in these comments. What message would you share with LGBTQ+ youth in the community who might be affected by this kind of hate speech?

GW: Well, number one, you are loved, you are seen, and you’re respected. And number two, make your voices heard in this election. This is going to have huge consequences, and young people in our society are going to live with the consequences of this election longer than anyone else, and that’s why we’ve got to pull people into this moment. And so, it’s not just you yourself voting, but it’s getting your friends, your relatives, your co-workers, your fellow students out to vote as well.

CA: As the November 5 election day nears, how do you think LGBTQ+ allies and advocates can further support the Harris-Walz campaign right now?

GW: Sign up to work on the campaign, make phone calls, get people registered to vote, help us make sure that everyone who is registered that is going to support the LGBTQ+ community gets out and actually gets their vote in. There are lots of ways to participate and encourage people to sign up and to, as Michelle Obama said at the DNC, “Do something.” Every single day, do something. We don’t want to wake up the day after this next election and wish we had done more and watch our rights and our loved ones pay a price because we

could have done more and we didn’t.

CA: As you look ahead to the rest of your term as governor, what is your long-term vision for LGBTQ+ rights in your state?

GW: I love being governor, and I am going

“…look at these two candidates and think about not just your life today, but future generations of LGBTQ+ Americans who simply want to be recognized, protected, and respected under the law.”

my desk, and that we are a state that the LGBTQ+ community can point to across the country as a state that’s doing more, that’s doing it right, and that is drawing people into our state because of our work here.

CA: To end on a more lighthearted note, when I got my copy of your book, it came from the publisher in a sparkly fuchsia mailer. Am I right to think that was by request of the Governor?

GW: Yeah. Of course. [Laughs.]

CA: The Harris-Walz campaign seems to be closely following your lead in engaging young voters. I received an email from them shortly after Trump posted his “I Hate Taylor Swift” message, which cleverly mentioned several of her songs. It reminded me of your campaign’s creative strategies. Are they drawing inspiration from your approach? Are you advising them in any way?

GW: I know that Julia Pickett and my team have gotten awards for the work that we’ve done on social media. I know that people pay attention across the country as to what we’re doing, and I think we’ve got one of the best teams there is, to be honest. I think we combine what’s going on in real time with important things, like the budget. And when you have Barbie talking about fixing the damn roads, it’s a sweet spot where you’re telling people about the work you’re doing, but you’re doing it in a fun way. And I love seeing the Harris-Walz campaign doing that too. The coconut tree stuff a couple of weeks ago and brat summer—it’s just been fun. And I think it’s that spirit that attracts so many people and why we’re feeling optimistic, but we’re also very clear there’s a lot of hard work to do between now and election day.

to work my tail off every day until my last minute as governor so that I can assure that we have achieved everything we can and that whoever comes next doesn’t undermine the strides that we’ve made. I’ll continue to work very closely with [openly gay Sen.] Jeremy Moss and [openly gay State Rep.] Jason Hoskins and the legislative leaders on making sure that where there is additional work to do, that we are doing it, that we are getting the bills to

CA: That’s right. Well, let’s go have a brat fall, and let’s go win this thing.

GW: Let’s do it. ▼

Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ+ wire service. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

Photos: Andrew Potter

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

Mrs. Roper and the 3(00) Bears!

RB Bear Weekend, Mrs. Roper Romp, RB Museum Beach Ball, Clear Space 20th Anniversary, and More !

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1 ) at RB Bear Weekend: Andre Sanderson, Dorian Frost, Kevin Morris, Ken Jamison, Max Dick, Tom Jordan, Matthew Didden, Tom Phillips, Chad Stover, Joe Pinto, Melvin Boxer, Chris Yochim, Frank Fenwick (Mardi Gras Dance Party); Jamie Middleton, Chris Berg, John Hurley, Sandra Skidmore, Richard Stover, Christopher Timm (Baja Bobs).

OPPOSITE PAGE 2) at RB Bear Weekend: DJ Chord, Bev, (Mardi Gras Dance Party); Drew Breland, Gary Dickerson, Devin Cassady, Josh Cline, Calvin Adams, John Gilliam, Taylor Clark (Kiwi’s Tiki Cove), Bob Winteringham, Doug Steinberg, Ed Blonski, Willie Sims, Amy Tootle (Rigby’s); Carla Burton, Marj Shannon, Michael Migliori, Jim Adams, Rocco Scutaro, Paul Frene, Phil Merola, Jeff Donovan, Keith David Trievel (Art Reception at CAMP Rehoboth).

More CAMPshots page 70

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

(Continued from page 69)

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at RB Bear Weekend: Mark Wessel, Garrett Taggart, Cody Golon, Michelle Manfredi, Jay Riordan, Ketih Ellis (Aqua); Stephen Lynch, Saul Foresta, Ceasar Foresta (Diego’s); 2) at RB Museum Beach Ball: David Mann, Bonnie Mann, Marcia Maldeis, RB Mayor Stan Mills, Lorne Crawford, Simon Fares, Kate Markert, Heidi Nasstrom Evans, Brian McGuire, RB Commissioner Bunky Markert, Monica Parr, Murray Archibald, Emily Paternoster, Taylour Tedder, Annette Stellhorn, Rick Stellhorn.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 3) at Clear Space Anniversary Gala: David Button, Christopher Decker, Sydney Grey, Joe Gfaller, Nick Crawford, Kate Crawford, Dave McCarthy, Walt Cassell, Larry Richardson, Joe Filipek, Louise Jones, April Armstrong, Meghan Gardner, Jess Bain, Tom Looney, Ken Skrzesz, Linda Wolfe, Megan Nehrbas, Chris Beagle, Wesley Combs, John Pitchford, Lenny Stumps, Doug Lynn, Pam Lynn; 4) at Richard Griffin's Memorial at CAMP: Jimmy Goodwill, Eddie Bullock, Tony Burns, Matt Rice, Paulette Lanza, Charles Bounds, Artez West; 5) Planet Veg Art Reception at Gallery 50: Aysha Akhtar, Nicole Barka James.

(More CAMPshots page 90)

DÍA DE MUERTOS

Embracing the Spirits D

ía de Muertos, or the Day of the Dead, is a profound celebration that honors and remembers deceased loved ones through joyous and colorful traditions. Unlike the somber tone associated with death in many cultures, Día de Muertos is a festive occasion filled with rich cultural symbolism, vibrant altars, and communal gatherings.

Celebrated on November 1 and 2, this holiday merges Indigenous American practices with Spanish influences, creating a unique and deeply meaningful ritual. For LGBTQ+ communities (and everyone else), Día de Muertos is a time to come together and celebrate the lives and legacies of those who have passed away.

Historical Roots and Cultural Significance

Día de Muertos finds its roots in ancient Mesoamerican cultures, including the Aztecs (or Mexica people), who believed that death was a part of the life continuum rather than an end. For them, death was a transition to another phase of existence, and honoring the deceased was crucial to ensuring their peaceful journey. The tradition was intertwined with a cyclical view of life and death, wherein the spirits of the dead were thought to return to the living world during this time.

When Spanish colonizers arrived, the Indigenous peoples syncretized their own practices with Catholic traditions. This melding of cultures resulted in the modern celebration of Día de Muertos, which now blends Indigenous practices with Catholic elements, such as celebrating the Day of All Saints and All Souls.

Although called “day” of the dead, festivities take place on two different days. November 1, is dedicated to deceased children and infants, and is sometimes called Día de los Inocentes (Day of the Innocents) or Día de los Angelitos (Day of the Little Angels). November 2 is for adults. This division allows families to specifically commemorate and celebrate the lives of both groups in a meaningful way.

BY STEPHEN RASKAUSKAS

Essential Elements of Altars and Ofrendas

The heart of Día de Muertos celebrations lies in the creation of altars, known as ofrendas (offerings), which are meticulously decorated with various elements to honor and welcome the spirits of the deceased. The essential components of an altar include:

• Candles, symbolizing the light that guides the spirits back to their families

• Marigolds (cempasúchiles) to help guide souls home with their bright color and strong scent

• Incense, especially copal, a type of resin

• Xoloitzcuintles, or hairless Mexican dogs, in clay, which lead the dead to the afterlife, Mictlán

• Food and drink, including favorite items of the deceased

• Photographs of the deceased placed on the altar to invite their spirits back to the world of the living

• Personal Items that were cherished by the deceased

Megaofrendas and Community Celebrations

Día de Muertos is celebrated primarily in homes, though it is observed publicly, too. In Mexico, some communities create mega-offerings, megaofrendas, which are grand-scale altars that can cover

entire public spaces. Megaofrendas are often collaborative efforts, with many people and organizations contributing their time, creativity, and resources.

The capital city of Ciudad de México embraces Día de Muertos with countless fairs, public events, and artistic displays. Iconic landmarks are decorated with altars and intricate ofrendas. The city’s celebrations often include theatrical performances, exhibitions, and parades that attract millions.

Some states like Michoacán, México are particularly renowned for their rich Día de Muertos traditions. For celebrations held on the islands of Lake Pátzcuaro, the town’s altars are adorned with intricate designs, and processions of candlelit boats cross the lake, creating a mesmerizing and spiritual atmosphere. In the state of Oaxaca, which has one of the largest Indigenous populations of all México, the Día de Muertos traditions are particularly vibrant.

Food of the Dead

Like all holidays, food and drink play a central role in Día de Muertos celebrations, with specific dishes being prepared to honor the deceased. Seasonal dishes are not only enjoyed by the living but are also offered to the spirits. Some traditional foods include:

Pan de muerto, a special bread baked

Bread of the Dead

DOUGH INGREDIENTS

500 g flour, plus extra

5 g anise or cinnamon, ground

6 g salt

12 g active dry yeast

120 g granulated white sugar

50 ml milk, heated to ~100°F

45 ml water, heated to ~100°F

125 g butter, room temperature

200 ml of beaten eggs

15 ml orange blossom water

2 g orange zest

To decorate

100 g butter, melted

150 g granulated white sugar

Pan de muerto, or bread of the dead, is one of the most delicious traditions of Día de Muertos. These delicious treats are essential elements of offerings for Día de Muertos, though they are enjoyed in the weeks leading up to the holiday.

This variety, typical of Valle de México, is perhaps the most well-known. It’s delicately flavored with orange blossom water, orange zest, and spices, then coated in butter and dusted in sugar. Each pan is shaped in a circle to represent the cycle of life and death, with an abstract skull and crossbones atop.

Professional and home bakers alike invent countless variations. The flavorings, toppings, and fillings you use are limited only by your imagination. Have fun!

INSTRUCTIONS

• In a small bowl, combine warmed milk, water, and yeast. Add a small portion of sugar and flour from what you’ve measured out for your dough, and mix. Let sit until frothy.

• In a large bowl, mix flour, anise, and salt well. Then, add butter and combine by hand until the mixture resembles fine sand with no lumps.

• To the same large bowl, add sugar, zest, orange blossom water, yeast mixture. Begin mixing by hand and add beaten eggs little by little, mixing until you have a very tacky dough.

• Knead your dough for approximately 20 minutes. Remove from the bowl about half-way through (once mixture adheres to itself and pulls away from the bowl) and transfer to a clean, flat surface to finish.

• If you need to add flour, do so 1 tsp at a time. If you need to add water, wet your hands with 1 tsp

shaped like bones and flavored with orange blossom water, citrus, and anise

Calaveras de azúcar, or sugar skulls, decorated with colorful icing (though most are just decorative—save your teeth and your taste buds the trouble!)

Tamales, a corn dough filled with meats, cheeses, or chilies, and steamed in corn husks or banana leaves

Atole, a warm beverage made from corn meal as its base, often flavored with spices, chocolate, or fruit

Mole, a rich and complex sauce often made with chili peppers, chocolate, and various spices; a festive dish often enjoyed during the holiday season

water as needed.

• Your final dough mass should be completely smooth and elastic, and weigh ~1-1.125 kg.

FIRST FERMENTATION

• Let dough rest in a warm place until doubled in size, then deflate it to let the gas escape.

FORM YOUR ROLLS

• Form 8–9 dough balls, 100 g each, by rolling portions of dough between a flat surface and your hand until completely smooth and spherical.

• The remaining ~200 grams of dough will form the decorations on top. Divide into 8–9 balls, ~25 g each. From each ~25 g ball, form 2 large balls (~10 g) and 1 small ball (~5 grams).

• To make the bones, roll the ~10 dough balls into thin logs between your middle three fingers, slowly spreading them apart and increasing pressure. The “skull” is just a simple ~5 g ball.

Embracing the Spirit of Día de Muertos

Día de Muertos is a powerful reminder of the interconnectedness of life and death. It provides a space for people to celebrate their loved ones, honor their memories, and engage in a collective experience of joy and reverence.

For LGBTQ+ communities and individuals, the holiday can be a poignant opportunity to remember and celebrate loved ones who may have been marginalized or misunderstood in their lifetimes.

Whether you are participating in a local celebration, creating an altar, or simply enjoying the festive foods, Día de Muertos invites everyone to embrace

• On prepared baking sheets, place 100 g balls of dough and press each one slightly with the palm of your hand. Then cross each portion with two “bones” and a “skull” where they intersect.

SECOND FERMENTATION

• Let shaped breads rest in a warm place until almost doubled in size.

BAKE

• In an oven preheated to 400° F, bake for 10 minutes, until the tops are slightly golden.

DECORATE

• When your breads have almost fully cooled, coat completely with melted butter and then spoon sugar over top until coated entirely.

Enjoy! Pan de muerto is especially delicious with a hot beverage like coffee, tea, champurrado, or atole.

the full spectrum of human experience. It encourages us to reflect on the past, cherish the present, and look forward to the future with hope and connection.

As you partake in these vibrant traditions, remember that Día de Muertos is not just a celebration of the dead but also a celebration of life, community, and love. Embrace the spirit of Día de Muertos with curiosity and respect. ▼

Stephen Raskauskas is a Sussex County native who has produced content for radio, TV, digital, and print.

Lover of Men, But Not Self Solution on Page 100

View Point

Stop the Watchmakers

Upholding the Diversity that is America

Iam more optimistic about America because of a family I met this morning at breakfast.

The local McDonald’s, where I often stop for coffee, has a diverse clientele, from Metropolitan Police officers and people with toddlers to a young black gay couple and a man working on his laptop.

A Jamaican woman named Rose, who has chatted with me about politics before, comes in with her granddaughters Zaira and Aria. The girls run around her and dance together as they wait for their order.

We are better

for

confronting the truth rather than concealing it.

Aria, the younger of the two, is 20 months old. She climbs into my booth and sits across from me. Zaira and Rose join her.

Aria, a lively child oblivious to the racial distrust plaguing so many of her elders, offers me her hash browns, breakfast burrito, and blue raspberry frozen drink. I thank her and tell her I have already eaten and to enjoy them herself.

These are among the people Trump says are poisoning our blood. He is projecting as usual. Zaira says she is Jamerican, short for Jamaican American. I say to Aria, “You want to hear me use ‘Jamaican’ in a sentence? Jamaican a lot of noise.” Her older sister laughs.

Rose’s name makes me think of the musical Gypsy, except this Rose is a far cry from the stage mother from hell portrayed in that show. I sing quietly to the girls, “You can do it, all you need is a hand. We can do it, Nana is gonna see to it.”

Nana Rose tells the girls, “OK, let’s go before the rain comes again,” and they start to leave. Aria turns back to wave and does a little dance for me. This actual toddler would make a better president than the Mobster Manchild of Mar-a-Lago.

As I linger over my coffee, a handsome cop with a salt-and-pepper beard whom I’ve met before smiles and places a hand on my shoulder as he walks by. We are a long way from the Stonewall Rebellion.

Some members of our community a few years ago demanded that LGBTQ+ police officers be prohibited from participating in the Capital Pride parade. Treating all police as the enemy is counterproductive, to say the very least. Just as Trump would rather campaign on the border problem than solve it, some on the left would rather cry out about injustice than work across our diversity to overcome it.

BY RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

If you insist that anything short of paradise is a betrayal, you will not get far. If you think your trauma entitles you to hold everyone else hostage, I wish to announce that you are traumatizing me.

The bullies on the radical right often invoke their faith. Faith requires no proof. Yet many people over the centuries spent a lot of time and effort attempting to prove the existence of God. One such proof states, “A watch implies a watchmaker,” which analogizes the universe to a watch. This is problematic. On one hand, the universe is far messier than a watch. On the other hand, it is far more glorious. And isn’t it blasphemous to reduce God to a watchmaker?

The people at Heritage Foundation and its allies who wrote Project 2025 to map out a second Trump administration are what you might call political watchmakers. They have worked out in fine detail the radical changes they want to make to this country.

Their watches are more like handcuffs. I much prefer our messy, contentious country to the fascists’ fantasy version, “cleansed” of anyone who doesn’t look and think like themselves.

One of my favorite things about Washington is that it is an international city. One often hears conversations in other languages. This is only a problem for bigots. But the Republican presidential nominee, who traffics in hatred and division, is ready to deport millions. That, like his proposed tariffs, would harm our economy. He would blame others, just as he recently blamed Jews—at an event about fighting antisemitism—in anticipation of his electoral defeat.

This election, in the end, is not about Trump but our own character. The aspects of our history that he and his diehards consider embarrassments to be erased are part of our journey. We are better for confronting the truth rather than concealing it.

Diversity is neither a weakness nor a threat. It is an essential part of who we are as a nation.

The authoritarians regard civil rights advances as a distasteful interruption of their divinely ordained supremacy. Let us disappoint them once again. ▼

Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist at rrosendall@ me.com.

BY LESLIE SINCLAIR

SPOTLIGHT ON THE arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at the Heart of Our Community

Current and Upcoming Art Exhibitions at CAMP Rehoboth

Diamond in the Rough— A Solo Show by Theresa Angela Taylor | October 12-November 7, 2024

Currently on display at the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery, Diamond in the Rough, by acclaimed artist Theresa Angela Taylor, invites viewers into a world of bold, thought-provoking artistry. Through her dynamic visuals, Taylor encourages reflection on life’s deeper meanings, transforming her personal journey into powerful works of art.

A celebrated artist, Taylor was honored with the 2021 Individual Artist Fellowship Award for Folk Art Visual Arts by the Delaware Division of the Arts. That same year, she was inducted into North Carolina’s Hall of Fame. Her accolades are a testament not only to her talent but also to her commitment to using art as a force for change.

Deeply rooted in her spiritual beliefs, Taylor has dedicated herself to inspiring the next generation. She teaches both children and adults, while also championing social justice through her work with incarcerated individuals and offering free art classes in homeless shelters. As a creative leader, Taylor continues to explore new ways to communicate her

message—she is currently writing a book designed to inspire transformative life changes through art.

Tapestry of Two: A Mother and Son’s Creative Connection

(Tapiz de Dos: Conexión Creativa Entre Madre e Hijo) November 9-23, 2024 | Reception: November 9, 4-6 p.m.

Like the intricate threads of a tapestry, Tapestry of Two: A Mother and Son’s Creative Connection weaves together the visual arts, poetry, music, and fabric art, presenting a beautiful fusion of the creative spirits of mother and son artists Coca de Silveira and Guillermo Silveira. Their relationship is at the heart of this unique exhibition, where maternal inspiration and shared artistic vision create a deeply personal and powerful narrative.

Join us on November 9 for a special reception celebrating this multifaceted exhibit—a vibrant reflection of art, culture, and the profound bond between mother and son, with music and refreshments celebrating their Argentinian heritage. Coca’s art, including her visual art and design work, finds its muse in Guillermo’s evocative instrumental music, while much of Guillermo’s art is shaped by his admiration for his mother’s strength and creativity.

Coca de Silveira, a renowned fashion designer born in Buenos Aires, made her mark designing for Argentina’s elite and film stars. Her artistry extends beyond fashion into painting, mixed media, and French laminated crafts, all expressing her enduring love for beauty and design.

Guillermo Silveira, a composer, concert pianist, poet, and peace activist, draws on Pan-American influences, blending the passion of Argentine tango with the innovations of mod-

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on DelawareScene.com.

Noizy by Theresa Angela Taylor.

BY JOE GFALLER

PERFORMING ARTS

Husbands Take the Stage

Since October 11, at least four times each week, Matt Whalen sits his husband Ben Cohen in a chair and, in front of 170 people, takes a razor to his neck and lets the blood flow.

Don’t worry, though, the blood is made of red dye #40, propylene glycol, and water. This is Sweeney Todd we’re talking about—not a true crime flick. Matt and Ben have been together for 14 years and married for a year and a half. But this is the first time in over a decade that they are getting to perform opposite each other on stage in a production—in this case, with Matt as homicidal Sweeney Todd and Ben as the supremely unctuous Beadle Bamford.

In real life, Ben and Matt (thankfully) are nothing like their characters. Thoughtful about their work, joyful parents to their dogs Tommy and TJ, and eager to either cook in (Matt) or order out (Ben), they moved to Milton, Delaware, during the pandemic, looking to find a little more space after four and a half years in Philadelphia. Originally, they were only looking at homes in the Philly suburbs, but then, as Matt explains, “My amazing husband decided to expand our search on Zillow one day. They couldn’t be happier with life in Sussex County. As Ben shared, “We love the area, the people, the vibe, the beach, and restaurants—and we’ve made some great friends and love our community.”

It’s probably not surprising that the two met doing theater. Before they began dating, they were both in a production of Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up? “It was a coming-of-age

Art Exibitions continued

ern American composers. His music spans genres, from cantatas to operas, and his interdisciplinary approach incorporates both primitive instruments and cutting-edge electronic sounds.

During the 2020 pandemic, Guillermo hosted online interdisciplinary performances that brought together his music

story taking place in a Catholic school,” Matt explained. “I can remember trying to help Ben understand what some of the material meant, having spent 14 years in Catholic school myself. He kept doing the sign of the cross the opposite way, and I laughed every time while politely correcting him.”

After that, for 11 years around Halloween, they both played in The Rocky Horror Show at the Capitol Dinner Theater near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Ben was Brad, and Matt’s roles changed every few years, finally landing on playing Rocky himself. Rocky, back in 2013, was the last time they did a show together.

In part, that was a function of other career opportunities taking the forefront. For Ben, who also works in meeting and event planning and who loves travel, his work began keeping him out of town more often. Ben had gotten to play some great roles over the years, from Huck Finn in Big River to Moonface Martin in Anything Goes and Cousin Kenny in The Who’s Tommy. “With so many exciting places to travel with work,” he shared, “it was time to take a break from performing.”

Matt took a break as well, but in the summer of 2023, as Pontius Pilate in Jesus Christ Superstar at Clear Space, that break ended. Matt is glad that Ben is back on the boards now too, especially given how much fun they are having in Sweeney Todd. “I thought the best part would be saving on gas,” Matt joked. “But I can’t help but beam when Ben steps into his scenes. He’s such a natural on stage, and it’s been such a

joy to watch.” Ben feels much the same about Matt, calling his performance in Sweeney “amazing.”

The only downside? Being away from their dogs, who are used to having them at home. That, and Matt making sure he doesn’t end up laughing while slitting Ben’s throat every night.

While they don’t have plans yet to be back on stage together after Sweeney, Matt will next be jumping into a decidedly different role: Daddy Warbucks in Annie at Milton Theater. “It will be a refreshing change, especially after portraying such a dark and complex character,” Matt shares. ”

Check out Ben and Matt in Sweeney Todd at CSTC through October 26 and then see Matt in Annie December 5-14 at Milton Theatre. ▼

Leslie Sinclair is a member of the Delaware State Arts Council and a passionate leader of CAMP Rehoboth’s visual arts program.

Joe Gfaller is Managing Director of Clear Space Theatre Company.

with the works of other artists, continuing his lifelong dedication to fostering collaboration across artistic mediums.

CAMP Rehoboth is honored to showcase these exceptional exhibitions, highlighting our ongoing commitment to fostering diversity, creativity, and community connection. Make time

to visit the gallery and experience the compelling stories and artistry that these exhibits have to offer. ▼

Exhibitions will be on view at the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery, Monday through Friday, from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

arts+entertainment

BOOKED SOLID

Frighten the Horses: A Memoir by Oliver Radclyffe © 2024, Roxane Books/ Grove Atlantic, $28.00, 352 pages

Finding your own way.

It’s a rite of passage for every young person, a necessity on the path to adulthood. You might have had help with it. You might have listened to your heart alone on the quest to find your own way. And sometimes, as in the new memoir, Frighten the Horses by Oliver Radclyffe, you may have to find yourself first.

If you had observed Oliver Radclyffe in a random diner a few years ago, you’d have seen a blonde, bubbly, but harried mother with four active children under age seven and a distracted husband. You probably wouldn’t have seen trouble, but it was there.

“Nicky,” as Radclyffe was known then, was simmering with something that was just coming to the forefront.

As a young child, Nicky had been raised in comfort in a family steeped in genteel British wealth, attended a private all-girl’s school, and never wanted for anything. She left all that behind as a young adult and embraced the biker lifestyle and everything it entailed. The problem now wasn’t that she missed her old ways, it was that she hated life as a wife and mother. Her dreams were filled with fantasies of “exactly who

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

I was: a man on a motorbike, in love with a woman.”

But being a man? No, that wasn’t quite right.

It took every bit of courage she had to say she was gay, that she thought constantly about women, that she hated sex with men. When she told her husband, he was hurt but mostly unbothered, insisting that she tell absolutely no one. They could remain married and just go forward. Nothing had to change.

But everything had already changed for Nicky.

Once she finally decided to come out, she learned that friends had already suspected. Family was supportive. It would be okay. But as Nicky began to experiment with a newfound freedom to be with women, one thing became clear: having sex with a woman was better when she imagined doing it as a man.

In his opening chapter, author Oliver Radclyffe shares an anecdote about the confusion the father of Radclyffe’s son’s friend had when picking up the friend. Readers may feel the same sentiment.

Fortunately, Frighten the Horses gets better...and it gets worse. Radclyffe’s story is riveting, told with a voice that’s distinct, sometimes poker-faced, but compelling; you’ll find yourself agreeing with every bit of his outrage and befuddlement with coming out in a way that feels right. When everything falls into place, it’s a relief for both author and reader.

And yet, it’s hard to get to this point because this memoir is just too long. It lags where you’ll wish it doesn’t. It feels like being burrito-wrapped in a heavy-weighted blanket: you don’t necessarily want out, but you might get tired of being in it.

Still, it remains that this peek at transitioning, however painful, is essential reading for anyone who needs to understand how someone figures things out. If that’s you, then consider Frighten the Horses and find it. ▼

The Sea Salt Table

Grandpa’s Rice

As the ocean breeze turns chilly, you’ll find my husband and me on local trails.

We’re hikers. In Pennsylvania, we enjoy rolling mountains, beautiful overlooks, and peaceful meadows. We’ve experienced incredible parks from Hawaii to Utah to Maine. Here in Delmarva some of our faves include Fresh Pond, Holt’s Landing, and James Farm Ecological Preserve.

Speaking of hiking near the beaches, I’m reminded of a funny story from a couple years go. Now pay attention. Because what I’m about to tell you comes with a question that I want you to ask yourself. And more importantly, answer honestly.

Let me set the stage. We had just hiked from the North Shores Beach to the Fort Miles Battery in Cape Henlopen State Park. Before turning around, we stopped to enjoy the scenic ocean views. Side note, it’s gorgeous...check it out. Meanwhile, I needed to visit the port-a-potty.

While inside I heard a very loud bang and a splashy thump. I was startled and thought someone had kicked the door. But no. My phone had bounced out of my coat pocket, hit the platform, and slid into the toilet hole. It was still on, face up, suspended in a mere inch or so of blue water.

…in the seconds I took to have a meltdown, my phone had gone dark.

My panic was deep and a bit nelly. I burst through the door to tell my husband, pacing in tiny circles, repeatedly shrieking “no!” Insert flailing hands and you have a complete, but not so pretty, picture.

Now, what would you do? Walk away

or roll up your sleeves? In the passion of the moment, I’m not too proud to admit I stained my fingers a periwinkle-y aquamarine.

Now hold off getting all judgy dearest gentle reader! Lemme say at cocktail

parties, people are split 50/50. Many give me credit for realizing that was a thousand dollars of technology glowing back at me. Add to that, we were in the middle of negotiations with a realtor.

So yes, I went for it. However, in the seconds I took to have a meltdown, my phone had gone dark. In desperation, I rinsed it and my hand in the ocean. I also asked to borrow my husband’s phone. That was a no. But said with love.

Back at the Rehoboth Verizon store, they tried the vacuum chamber to no avail. God forgive me, I never admitted the source of the damage. If the person who waited on me is reading this, I’m deeply sorry. But if I recall rightly, you had on surgical gloves. You know your customers well.

Anyhoo, this month in honor of everyone needing sustenance after hitting the trails, I’m highlighting a recipe called Grandpa’s Rice. I realize you may have lost your appetite per my phone quandary, but trust me, it’s delicious.

My dear friend Nancy gave me this recipe many years ago. It reminds me of a “victory dish” from back during the world wars, when folks stretched small amounts of scarce ingredients like beef with vegetables and rice.

Let’s get started, shall we?

BY ED CASTELLI

STEPS

 In a large Dutch oven, brown 1 pound ground beef and 1 tsp garlic powder over medium heat; drain and set aside.

 In the same pan, sauté the following over medium heat until vegetables are very tender:

• 3 cups sliced celery

• 3 cups sliced carrots

• 1 cup diced onion

• 2 to 3 Tbl vegetable oil

Ž Add the following, and simmer over low heat for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally until the flavors combine:

• Cooked beef from above

• 28-30 oz plain canned tomato sauce

• 12-14 oz can of vegetable juice, such as V8

• Salt, pepper, and more garlic powder, all to taste

 Serve over cooked white or brown rice.

TIPS

• Resist the urge to lower the heat before your vegetables are very tender.

• You can stretch this dish in any direction by adding more vegetables or beef.

• This freezes and reheats very well but be prepared to add more juice or sauce as needed. ▼

Ed and his husband Jerry split their time between homes near Harrisburg Pennsylvania and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog Atticus.

OUTlook

Puffy Cats

Three kitty boys are lying on the couch in the den on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, one each to a cushion, looking out the front windows toward the street.

“They’ve come for Charlie,” says Pi, the big, round, flame-point Siamese-mix, Tony Soprano of the three siblings.

“Charlie, you better go hide somewhere, like, the basement,” JoJo warns. “Look, the officer is coming on the front porch.”

“I’m done for,” sighs Charlie, who looks just like Pi, only thinner. “It’s too late.”

“You can always plead temporary insanity,” says JoJo, the ginger brother.

“I just can’t believe you bit Mama Sandy,” says Pi. “Mama Beth had to take her to urgent care! There was blood and everything! And now, you have a rap sheet!”

“I can’t believe I did that, either,” agrees Charlie. “But all I can say is I was in a feral state. I can’t be held responsible for my actions!”

“You told that gray cat at the back deck just where he could go,” says JoJo.

“Yeah, and then you turned on me and JoJo,” says Pi. “You’ve got a pretty mean right slash, Charlie. I haven’t lost that much fur since my last major groom. You almost got Mama Beth, and then you got Mama Sandy!”

“The moms should know better than to intervene with their primatelike limbs,” says Charlie. “And besides, making the grey cat go away is supposed to be your job, Pi, as the alpha, not mine. No wonder I lost my mind for a second.”

“I don’t know why you can’t just chill, Charlie,” says Pi. “After all, if there had been any real threat, I would have taken care of it.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” says Charlie. “You always say that. You’re all hisses and no murder mittens! If I hadn’t gone berserk on that gray cat, we all would be in dire straits.”

“Charlie,” sighs Pi, “I’ve chased that cat off before, which is really hard to do with glass in-between. Kills the vibe, if

you know what I mean. You do know, Charlie, there was glass between you and the grey cat, right?”

“It doesn’t matter, Pi” says Charlie. “I made that grey cat go away. That’s all that counts. Do you think they’ll make me go to the…the…v-v-v-vet?!”

At the mention of the vet, all three shudder.

Morals from this true story: don’t get puffy unless you have to, don’t try to stop a cat fight—and make sure you vaccinate your pets!

“Look, they’re still talking out there,” says JoJo.

“I wonder if they’re asking how the officer will celebrate one of our most deserved and beloved holidays on October 29,” says Pi.

“You mean National Cat Day?” asks Charlie. “I wonder what the moms are going to do special. Little pieces of ham, chicken, cheese…. Yum!”

“Well, Charlie, hopefully you’ll still BE here for National Cat Day, and not popped by the cop out there,” says Pi.

“Oh dear,” sighs Charlie.

“Look, there goes Mama Beth

BY BETH SHOCKLEY

outside,” says JoJo. “She’s got a piece of paper in her hand. Looks like it’s from the vet.”

At the mention of the vet, all three shudder again.

“She’s got my vaccination records,” says Charlie. “Maybe that means they won’t arrest me and take me back to the shelter, or, or...worse.…”

“It’s OK, Charlie,” says JoJo. “Our moms won’t let them take you away. That’s why they make sure we’re vaccinated, even though we’re older, indoor-only cats.”

“I don’t know; I still feel scared,” says Charlie.

“Don’t freak out again, Charlie,” says Pi. “They’ll have to go through me first to get to you, so just in case, I’m going to get puffy now! That officer will leave as soon as she sees me through the window. Fear the Mighty Pi!”

“No, Pi, don’t get puffy,” says JoJo. “That’s how all this started!”

“Getting puffy got us all into this mess, Pi,” adds Charlie. “We need to find another way.”

“OK, well, I’m just trying to help,” says Pi.

“A big lot of NO help you were with the gray cat,” exclaims Charlie.

“I tell you for the millionth time, that gray cat was not a threat,” Pi says.

“Look, you guys! The officer is walking back to her truck,” JoJo says excitedly.

“Mama Sandy and Mama Beth didn’t even get puffy,” exclaims Pi. “Astonishing!”

“Quiet, everybody—they’re coming back in,” warns JoJo. “Act normal!”

Three fat cats stretch and rearrange themselves on their couch cushions so they’re no longer facing the windows. ▼

Beth Shockley is a retired senior writer/editor living in Dover with her wife and furbabies.

Photo courtesy of the author. Charlie (top); JoJo, (bottom left); Pi, (bottom right).

Visiting View

BY ROBERT D e DOMINIC

AIDS/LifeCycle 2025 Will Be the Final Ride

On Wednesday September 11 at the AIDS/LifeCycle Town Hall, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (SFAF) CEO Dr. Tyler Termeer and Los Angeles LGBT Center CEO Joe Hallendoner broke the news that AIDS/ LifeCycle 2025 will be the final ride.

“We have made the difficult decision that 2025 will be the last year of AIDS/ LifeCycle. This decision was not arrived at easily or hastily. It has become clear that it is no longer financially sustainable for us to produce the ride due to skyrocketing production costs, which have been exacerbated by year-after-year declines in ridership and fundraising. The ride has been a significant part of so may of our lives, connected to those we’ve lost, those who live, and the incredible, beautiful community that we’ve helped to create.”

AIDS/LifeCycle is a seven-day, 545mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, co-produced by and benefiting the SFAF and the LA LGBT Center. The Ride began in 1994 and was called the “California AIDS Ride.” In 2002, it was rebranded as AIDS/LifeCycle (ALC). Since 1994, participants have raised more than $300 million to support the HIV and AIDS-related services of its producers/ beneficiaries.

I have been lucky enough to be part of the “incredible, beautiful community” six times, personally raising almost $100k in the process. And by “personally raising,” I mean me and the army of friends, family, coworkers, business owners, and strangers who have been a part of my journey. I have had hundreds of people donating money, airline miles, and bike shipping fees throughout my ALC career.

My first ride was in 2004. I boarded a plane for San Francisco not knowing a single person on the Ride. That first Ride was transformative and still to date is one of the best weeks of my life. It kept me coming back to the “love bubble” year after year.

The “love bubble” is what ALC participants call the week-long immersive

experience of cycling hundreds of miles down the California coastline. Sleeping in tents alongside your teammates—each day a different neighbor because of the way the grid is set up. Camp life consists of two dinners each night—well, I ate two dinners each night. Cycling is hard work! You never know heaven until you are stopping into a Taco Bell off the interstate for a “clean bathroom” instead of the porta-potty you use for seven days.

That first Ride was transformative and still to date is one of the best weeks of my life.

I have ridden up the infamous “quad busters” double hill. I have taken the “Halfway to LA” iconic photo three times. I have changed a flat tire in the rain more times than I can count. I have also called it a day and taken the SAG bus when I just couldn’t bike another mile and was still a dozen miles away from camp.

I have met a 70-year-old father riding for his beloved son who passed away 20 years ago from AIDS. I have met a hetero couple riding a tandem bike on their honeymoon—together every single one of the 545 miles. Talk about commitment! I have met two 18-year-old cousins riding in honor of their uncle—who was riding along next to them. The youngsters explained how long they had waited to finally be old enough to join the Ride. And I have ridden dozens and dozens of miles alone without another rider in sight. Shocking—with an estimated 2,000 riders—how much time you have on your own.

After three seasons of cycling, I transitioned to the Roadie team, honored to be a member of Rest Stop 4. We provided food, drinks, support, laughs, and entertainment to the cyclists. We were the final rest stop of the day, usually 15 miles away from our camp for the

night. I have gotten to dress up as Sporty Spice and as a member of the XMen. I have been a Victoria’s Secret model (my personal fave), and a Brazilian soccer team member. (Our daily costumes and themes are closely-guarded secrets for weeks before the actual Ride.)

Registration and anticipation for this final Ride is at a fever pitch with ALC having to pause cyclist registrations. On their website they wrote, “Due to the outpouring of enthusiasm from returning participants, cyclist registration has been paused and we will be monitoring fundraising to evaluate projected onRide numbers.” Olympic medalist Gus Kenworthy is already registered and already fundraising.

Roadie registration works a little differently, especially this year. There have been dozens and dozens and dozens of amazing Rest Stop 4 members. Obviously, we all can’t come back for the Final Ride. It is up to the captains to create the teams that best fit the needs of the Ride. When I asked my teammate Charlie if she were coming back, she replied, “You know I am! I’m already planning to raise more than I ever have.” Come thru Charlie!

On June 1, 2025, I will either be at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, cheering the riders on as they embark on their seven-day journey, or I will be watching remotely, cheering them on from afar. Either way, remember: “We ride for those who can’t.” ▼

If you would like to make a donation to the final AIDS/Lifecycle, visit aidslifecycle.org.

Robert DeDominic is a freelance writer/ blogger in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He is proud to be one small blue dot in a very red state.

NORTH SHORES

Celebrity Interview

Maisy Stella’s Excellent Performance

Shaping Her Character in My Old Ass

Our older selves might have a lot to say about how we live our lives now. What can we learn from them? And what might they learn from us?

Elliott’s dilemma in My Old Ass, a film by writer-director Megan Park (The Fallout), revolves around the challenge of knowing the unknowable. The story unfolds during a mushroom trip in the woods as Elliott celebrates her 18th birthday with friends, marking the end of an era. As she looks forward to a big-city life in Toronto, far removed from the familiar cranberry farm in rural Ontario she grew up on, she enters a hallucinatory state where an older, jaded version of herself (played by Aubrey Plaza) at 39 appears to offer a glimpse of what lies ahead— not all of it good.

In her star-making film debut, 20-year-old Stella, who became a child star on the ABC show Nashville, captures Elliott’s punkish spirit, portraying a character whose freedom is defined not only by her journey to create her own destiny but also by her exploration of identity. At the start of the film, she has a crush on a girl, a reflection of her previous attractions. But when Chad enters the picture—the very person her older self warns her to avoid—Elliott begins to question her own understanding of love and attraction. Throughout, there’s a sense that no matter who Elliott becomes as an adult, she will love whomever she chooses.

In a recent video call with Stella, the actor discussed her relationship with labels as a queer person and how she incorporated aspects of her own identity into Elliott.

CHRIS AZZOPARDI: I’m going to cry just talking about this film, because I cried so much during this movie.

MAISY STELLA: Cry. I’ll cry too just for fun. Let’s do it.

CA: How do you hope that young

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

I hope what people take from it is you’re allowed to change and grow, and queerness is complicated…

queer people respond to Elliott and her identity evolution?

MS: Elliott was always very moving to me, the way that she was written. I think that I was lucky enough to grow up in a way where labels weren’t really pushed on me, and I know that’s not everyone’s experience and not everyone is lucky enough to be given the room to explore and be truly open. I feel like the confusion and stress over queerness didn’t come until much later in my life, and so I really related to Elliot in a lot of ways. I also didn’t relate in a lot of ways, but I found that part of her to be really safe and comfy, and I wanted it to be done well and done right, and I hope that it was. I hope what people take from it is you’re allowed to change and grow, and queerness is complicated and it’s wide [and] to just exist and to not put so much

pressure on yourself to know exactly what you are when you’re 18. It’s OK if you put a label on [one] day and it ends up changing.

CA: Was Elliott’s queerness all on the page when you got the script, or was there room for shaping that part of her as you went along?

MS: Things changed from the script a little, but she was there. She was definitely written as who she was. I think Megan is super open in terms of writing and changing things. But she’s pretty spot-on with her writing. She’s just a very genuine person, which I think comes across in the way that she writes for people.

CA: In what ways were you able to influence the character? Did you have a say in the styling?

Continued on page 94

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

(Continued from page 71)

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at RB Mrs. Roper Romp: Joe Petrone, Shawn Evans, Tommy McGarry, Nick Young, Tyler Donaldson, Terry Kistler, Chris Berg, Natalie Dixon, Jen Roach, Brent Quinn, Steve Morris, Juan Torres, Andrea Torres, Michael Clay, George Stakias, Chuck McSweeney, Kelly Beraeridzi, Cindy Paniccia, Kathy Weeks, Karen Saylor, Steve Gannon, Ron Butt, Erin Wonder, Heather Rowe, Michelle Long, Bonnie Sweeten, Kim Strickland, Gary Desch, Ed Black, David O’Berry.

OPPOSITE PAGE 2) at DE Coastal Beach Buddies, Diego's: Dean Abbott, Glenn Lash, Steven Swierzy, Jimmy Villareale, Max Dick, John Luzzi, Barry Hass, Mitchell Shahade, Kevin Pelland; 3) at Diego’s: Donovan Dula, Matt Noggle, Kathy Kombacher, Gail Ruffins, Kevin Pelland, Paul Griffin, Gil Clavette, Gordon Shafer, Andy Guthridge, Daniel Lusk, Garrett Taggart, James Pol, Pamala Stanley, Karen Anderson, Brenda Dunn, Rosie Hopkins, Lyn Redfern.

(More CAMPshots page 92)

(Continued from page 91)

THIS PAGE (left to right) 1) at Lori’s Café: Lori Kline, Raymond Thomas, Sarah Herrmann; 2) at Blue Moon: Kevin Slattery, Jeffrey Davis, Peter Schott, Paul Bates, Michael Tucker; 3) at Rigby's: J. Norwood, Colleen Parker, Ryan Williamson; 4) Save Our Lakes 20th Anniversary Celebration: Rick Hardy, Bryn Burke, Sallie Forman, Tom Childers, Diane Hanson, Jan Konesey, John Burke, Mike Boyd, Chip DiPalo, Dewey Beach Commissioner David Jasinski; 5) at Aqua: Jim Tamburo, VA State Senator Adam Ebbin, Andrew Willis, Josh Good, Bruce Rohr, Mike Richards, Larry McDonald.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 6) at Aqua: Miro Marinov, Mark Boutin, Beth Yocum, Rick Noblett, Deb Kennedy, Sloan Bonar, Robert Forrest, Gianmarco Garilli, Lilly Ballarin, Gianni Ballarin, Teresa Wiest, Kevin McDuffie; 7) at Straight Eights Lambda Car Club Grand Invitational: Jim Prettyman, Yost Bonham, Marty Rendon, John Cianciosi, Andy Dorosky, Greg Oliver, Dennis Morgan, Paul Christensen; 8) at CAMP Rehoboth Chorus ALLIANCE Singers Concert at Epworth UMC: Bo Gordy-Stith, Vicki Gordy-Stith; 9) at Back Porch Café: Edsel Gayoso, Michael Fishman, Matt Blocher, Dennis Shine, Matt Alion; 10) at Purple Parrot: Jon Wade, Aundrea Ayers, Leah B; 11) at Epworth UMC LGBTQ+ Vows Renewal Service: Gwen Osborne and Katie Handy.▼

MS: Yeah, with the styling, our costume designer used a lot of my Instagram and what I wear in real life as inspiration for Elliott, which I thought was so cool. I was so confident and comfortable in her clothes, which really played a huge part as to why I was just comfortable in general. It matters a lot more than you think it does, but I think that every person in this movie shaped their character. Megan wants that and is so open to that and actually really encourages it to just have real personality and not just be written. And so yeah, I think I shaped Elliott with personality; so did everyone else in the movie. That’s just Megan’s style of directing, honestly.

CA: Were there any other themes of self-discovery that felt very familiar to you as somebody who was the age of the character you were playing when you played her?

MS: Yeah. The most relatable aspect of Elliott was how, at the start, she was just kind of self-centered and self-absorbed and accidentally harmful to her mom and dad and her family, and I really related to that. It’s just the feeling when you look at your mom and you just are rushed with sadness and you just feel bad and you’re just like, “Wait, oh my god, you’re literally just trying your best. This is your first life. We’re all figuring it out, and I am sorry.”

I think that bisexual women, if they’re in a relationship with a man, it doesn’t make them any less queer if they are still attracted to women.

Photos: Amazon Studios Celebrity Interview Continued from page 88

That’s just the feeling, and so I related to Elliott a lot in the ways that I think Elliott gets very caught up in life and excitement and all these things. Leaving home, it’s all so exciting to her, and in that, she’s accidentally kind of just being harmful to the people that she loves and that love her. That was probably what I related to the most about Elliott. That felt tender to me. It was such a reminder for me.

CA: Your co-star, Aubrey Plaza, is considered by many to be a queer icon. On behalf of all queer women, did you happen to let Aubrey know how much they follow her career and that they wanted Aubrey and Kristen Stewart’s character to be together in Happiest Season and we’re still kind of mad about that?

MS: Yeah, no, I didn’t go into detail about that [laughs], but I do agree! I mean, I’ve always loved Aubrey. I’ve always been a massive fan. I think she’s just such a genius artist and getting to know her as a person and getting to work with her has been one of the greatest things I’ll ever get to do. I’ll never get over it. I feel genuinely so grateful to have gotten to do that and gotten to be around her. She’s just a very special person to get to experience, so yeah.

CA: The ideal older you.

MS: The ideal! If I was asked, I’m not kidding, she would have been my absolute number one pick. I just love her.

CA: The film acknowledges a topic that film doesn’t often explore and one that, in fact, is rarely discussed openly: how queerness is still valid even when someone is dating a person of the opposite sex. Can you talk about the significance of that aspect of the movie in relation to Elliott and the way that she comes out as gay to Chad?

MS: I mean, that’s a real thing that a lot of people—a lot of women, a lot of bisexual women—struggle with. It’s a real thing where they fall in love with a man,

and they’re bisexual. It means they like men and women and then [it’s] like, “Oh, you’re not bisexual anymore.” It doesn’t really make sense to me. I think that bisexual women, if they’re in a relationship with a man, it doesn’t make them any less queer if they are still attracted to women. It’s a weird thing. I know a lot of people that experience that and struggle with that, and so I think it’s a cool thing to acknowledge. I am always searching for queer movies and a lot of times it’s just a little bit too much. It’s just like the only focus of the character is that they’re queer, and so I really love that Elliott has so much more to her and that that’s just part of her; it feels really special to me. It feels so human and real and not overdone.

CA: Given that My Old Ass will shape a lot of young queer people, I’m wondering what queer movies were there for you growing up.

MS: Blue Is the Warmest Color was the first movie that I’d watched that knocked me off my chair. I was like, “All right, things are turning.” Portrait of a Lady on Fire is also so beautiful. I would say those are probably the two that live the highest in my head. ▼

Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ+ wire service. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

S MPLER

FLORIST SHOP • GREENHOUSES

20326 Coastal Highway • Rehoboth Beach, DE (Next to Arena’s Café) 302-227-9481

As your staunch champion in Dover, I will fight always for what Coastal Sussex needs first. My mission for you will be guided by the principles I learned growing up and raising my family here, and as a first responder working for you already.

As your voice in our Capital, I pledge to focus on the following:

ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITY: I commit that Coastal Sussex will be a more vibrant place where we can attract sustainable and high quality jobs and talent, where innovation thrives, tomorrow’s skills are developed and deployed, and everyone has the chance to contribute and benefit.

 EDUCATION: I commit that Coastal Sussex will have the necessary education resources for this core element of our community which is the foundation of our local progress, to help our young people succeed by empowering them with the knowledge and tools to thrive in a rapidly changing world.

 ENVIRONMENT: I commit that Coastal Sussex will lead Delaware in better development, smarter infrastructure, and responsible approaches to our air, water and land use to remain a beacon of natural beauty attracting people to our region, our beaches, and our communities.

 HEALTHCARE: I commit that Coastal Sussex will continue to grow access to the quality healthcare our region demands and deserves to support our neighbors, our families, to strengthen our communities, and to be an important facet of our bright future.

 SMARTER GROWTH: I commit that Coastal Sussex will be an example of the importance of smarter growth by prioritizing better development, alleviating traffic congestion, supporting our businesses and investors, and ultimately enhancing the quality of life here for all, fostering reasonable and rational economic contributions in our community.

If you send me to Dover, know that I will remain your champion always. I will do my very best to represent all of our interests if you entrust me to work on these issues, as well as many others, for the community I’ve loved and worked for these many decades as a fire fighter. Thank you!

Diaz James Bonville

Diaz James Bonville, 68, transitioned peacefully, surrounded by his loved ones, on September 14, 2024. He was born December 24, 1955, to the late Roland Harrison Bonville, Sr. and Sarah Belle Shockley Bonville. He grew up and attended public schools in Lincoln, Delaware, and the Cape Henlopen School District, graduating in 1973. He went on to attend college at Delaware Technical and Community College in Georgetown, Delaware, where he received an associate degree in Human Services with a concentration in Program Management and Administration. Notably, he was the first African American to receive the Delaware Technical and Community College Alumni Walk of Success.

Diaz was a man of many talents. He spent a great deal of time working for the Indian River School District before ending his career working under US Congresswoman Lisa Blunt Rochester in 2022. In addition to his school-work duties, Diaz was active in his church and community. He was the co-founder of the West Rehoboth Children and Youth Program and the President of West Side New Beginnings. He was a member of

Mt. Pleasant Church in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, where he served on several ministries. Diaz also delegated his time and expertise to serve on numerous boards and organizations throughout the community and state. He was appointed by the governor to be an active member of the Delaware Human and Civil Rights Commission. Diaz’s church, school, and community involvement brought him several honors and rewards. His volunteerism gained local, state, and national media attention.

In his spare time, Diaz enjoyed reading, traveling, writing, public speaking, mentoring, volunteering, and the Spanish culture. He touched many lives through his text message ministry.

Diaz leaves to cherish loving memories: his wife of 44 years, the former Linda Elizabeth Duffy of Rehoboth Beach; their three daughters, Dilinda Deshields (Carreras), LaToya Bonville, and Jalisa Bonville; three grandchildren, Tamia Bonville, Daeveon Deshields, and Kendall Deshields; five siblings, Roland Bonville, Jr. (Beverly), Seward Bonville (Irene), Sarah Wood (Thomas), Helena Gibbs, and Earlue Woodall (Larry, Sr.); a host of beloved extended family and community

Victoria Elizabeth Martina

Victoria “Vicki” Elizabeth Martina, 79, passed away suddenly Thursday, September 12, 2024, surrounded by her family. She was born in Charleston, West Virginia, daughter of the late James Romie Price and Rebecca Lee Gumm.

Vicki graduated from Ravenswood High School in Ravenswood, West Virginia, and attended Potomac State College in Keyser, West Virginia, where she met Vincent (Vince) Martina. They married September. 4, 1965, and had two children, Julie and Tony. They divorced in 1983 but remained close, raising their children and grandchildren.

Vicki was employed in 1982 by Perdue in Salisbury, Maryland, where she worked in multiple capacities and advanced her career, ending in sales. She retired in 2008.

In 2012, Vicki moved to Rehoboth Beach, where she met her soulmate, Nancy Hewish. In June of 2017, they were married in their beautiful backyard. They enjoyed trips to Iceland, Norway, the Caribbean, and Alaska. Family vacations, holidays, birthdays, and grandkids’ sporting events kept them busy and very happy. Vicki and Nancy connected and were so compatible

members; and a long-time family friend, Brenda Milbourne.

Mr. Bonville’s funeral service was held September 21 at St. John 2nd Baptist Church, Millsboro, with interment at People’s Memorial Park, Rehoboth Beach. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to: West Side New Beginnings Children and Youth Program, 19801 Norwood Street, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware 19971. ▼

because of their love of family. They were always entertaining friends and offering a helpful hand when needed.

One of Vicki’s favorite pastimes outside of spending time with family was her love for golf. She played in many golf leagues through the years. She was a member of the Ocean City Golf Club and also, more recently, spent a few years playing in Kings Creek Country Club, where in 2018 she was the Ladies Net Champion. She also enjoyed anything outdoors especially offshore fishing. She even owned a 22-foot Grady White boat, which she often took offshore fishing.

Vicki was preceded in death by her brother, Stephen Courtney Price. She is survived by her daughter, Julie (Quinn Johnson); son, Tony (Cassie); grandchildren, Caitie (Ethan Malone), Kelsey (Dalton Church), Sam Quinton (Samantha), Allie, Gracie, Olivia and Anthony; great-grandchildren, Reid, Harper, Savannah, Easton, and Macie; her brother, Gregory Price; beloved wife, Nancy Hewish; and Charley, their rescue dog.

A Celebration of Life was held Saturday, September 21, at Epworth United Methodist Church, Rehoboth Beach. ▼

Henry “Corky” Fitzpatrick, Jr.

Henry “Corky” W. Fitzpatrick Jr., 85, passed away Saturday, September 21, 2024, at Delaware Hospice Center, Milford.

Corky earned his Bachelor of Arts degree from Colby College in Waterville, Maine, and his master’s degree from the University of Denver in Colorado. A proud Air Force veteran, he dedicated many years of service to the Department of the Navy, retiring in 2004.

Following his retirement, Corky and his wife, Kathy, relocated from Virginia to Rehoboth Beach, where Corky enjoyed working as a barista at BookSandCoffee in Dewey Beach and took pride in maintaining the CAMP Rehoboth magazine boxes for nearly a decade. An enthusiastic walker, he could often be seen exploring the scenic paths of

Rehoboth Beach.

Memories of Corky’s laughter, gentle guidance, and unwavering support are cherished. Corky had an incredible ability to connect with others, leaving a lasting impression on everyone he met.

Corky is survived by his beloved wife of nearly 62 years, Kathleen Fitzpatrick; their son, Henry W. Fitzpatrick III (Patrick); and their grandson, Hunter Avery Fitzpatrick.

A Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated on October 15, at St. Edmond Catholic Church, Rehoboth Beach. Interment was private. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests that donations be made to Compassionate Care Hospice, or the Delaware Hospice Center, both located in Milford. ▼

Daniel Paul Temple Speck

Daniel Paul Temple Speck, known affectionately to friends and family as Dan, left us Tuesday, September 17, 2024. He was born June 24, 1962, in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania. Dan’s charm and charisma were evident from an early age, touching those around him with his warmth, wit, and generosity.

Formerly of Washington, DC, Dan spent his final time in the peaceful town of Rehoboth Beach, with his beloved partner of 42 years and husband for the last 14, John K. Boggan. The bond they shared was a testament to devotion and love, a beacon of light for all who knew them.

In addition to his husband, Dan is survived by his siblings, David Speck (Inge), John Drew Speck (Carol), Diana Silvestri (Paul), Dean Speck, Deborah Speck, and Daphne Speck-Bartynski; his cherished nieces and nephews; and his two precious cats, Sweetie and Nuki. He was preceded in death by his parents, Ross and Margaret Speck; his stepmother, Joan Speck; his brother-inlaw, Andrew Battaglino; and his former sister-in-law, Dawn Speck.

An alumnus of Cornell University, Dan graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1984. He forged a successful career as a software development manager with Bloomberg BNA, distinguishing himself in his profession with his leadership and innovative thinking.

Dan’s leadership extended into his community, where he served as the president of Sandalwood Homeowners Association. His passion, however, truly ignited in martial arts. A sixthdegree black belt in Uechi Ryu Karate, Dan’s expertise and spirit were inspirational. For many years, he taught at Washington Karate Academy, shaping the lives and characters of countless students.

A memorial service was held October 5, at Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium, Lewes. In lieu of flowers, the family recommends donations in Dan’s memory to Delaware Hospice, delawarehospice.org, or the American Cancer Society, donate.cancer.org. Visit Dan’s Life Memorial webpage at parsellfuneralhomes.com. ▼

William Frank Wheatley Jr.

William Frank Wheatley Jr., 80, passed away peacefully Friday, September 20, 2024, in VITAS Hospice Care in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He was born September 4, 1944, in Wilmington, and attended William Penn High School. He served honorably in the US National Guard from 1963-69. William resided in Lewes, where he worked various jobs.

William proudly served as a panel maker for the Names Project of North Central Delaware and assisted in the quilt display in 1996 in Washington, DC, as well as participating in numerous fundraisers for fighting the AIDS virus in Delaware. He was an avid collector of Beanie Babies, art, cobalt blue glassware, opera LPs, original signatures of opera singers, and innumerable figurines. He enjoyed gardening, cooking, crafts, opera, country, and jazz, plus anything involving Delaware beaches. He was dedicated to his dog, Bubbles, and his cats, Smokey Bandit and beloved Happy.

William will be greatly missed by those who loved him dearly.

William was preceded in death by his sister, Lona Lee Wheatley; brother, Robert H. Wheatley; mother, Phyllis; stepfather, Geary E. Buddison; and father, William F. Wheatley. He is survived by his brother, James E. Biddison and his wife Elizabeth; nieces and nephews; and wonderful caregivers, kind neighbors, and friends, who provided abundant love and support.

A small, informal gathering honoring and remembering William took place on September 28 at Old St. Georges Cemetery, St. Georges. He specifically asked that there be no flowers, “Having enjoyed them greatly in life, not in death.” Donations in William’s memory can be made to the Ryan White Foundation. ▼

CROSSWORD PUZZLE SOLUTION

(puzzle on page 74)

CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer Opportunities

NAME PARTNER’S NAME ( IF APPLICABLE)

ACCESSIBILITY

Hope Vella

ADVOCACY TEAM

Daniel Bruner

David Garrett

Leslie Ledogar

Sherri McGee

AIDS WALK DELAWARE

Chris Maddox

Marce McCollum-Martin

ARTS TEAM

Logan Farro

Jane Knaus

Lois Powell

Leslie Sinclair

Patricia Stiles

Debbie Woods

CAMP ADMIN

Sherri McGee

CAMP CHORUS ALLIANCE CONCERT

G Michael Beigay

Deb Bricker

Ron Dempsey

Marce McCollum-Martin

Send your check for $50 to CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971. If you prefer to use your Visa, MasterCard or American Express call 302-227-5620.

SEA WITCH® PARADE

CAMP Rehoboth invites you, your friends and family to join us and march in the Sea Witch® Parade on Saturday, October 26! Dress in costume or wear one of our orange CAMP Rehoboth shirts. Rainbow pride feather boas and flags will also be provided. Help us to spread our community’s love and joy to parade attendees.

VOLUNTEER APPRECIATION PARTY

CAMP Rehoboth will celebrate our volunteers with an appreciation social on Friday, November 22, from 3-5 p.m. Any volunteers who supported our events, programs, fundraisers, or advocacy initiatives are invited to join us by registering online at camprehoboth.org/volunteers.

CROP: CAMP REHOBOTH OUTREACH PROGRAM

The CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program (CROP) is constantly working to cultivate community and strengthen relationships and the connection between us all. Check the site for monthly volunteer opportunities.

Sign up at camprehoboth.com/volunteers.

Your volunteer efforts benefit you and others. — PLEASE VISIT camprehoboth.com/volunteers to register as a volunteer and to sign up for available opportunities.

THANK YOU

Valerie McNickol

Pat Nickols

Kevin Pelland

Barb Ralph

Carol Scileppi

Marianne Sheridan

CAMP CHORUS

LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE

Bill Fuchs

Dianna Johnston

Carolyn Laurenzo

Judy Olsen

Gloria Richards

Dave Scuccimarra

Travis Stevens

CAMP DATABASE

Sondra Arkin

CAMP FACILITIES

Carol Brice

Lisa Evans

Eric Korpon

CAMP LIBRARY

Glenn Lash

CAMPCIERGES

Joe Benshetler

Barbara Breault

Ken Currier

Adam Emel-Firestone

Will Freshwater

Jim Mease

Kim Nelson

Pamela Rule

Mitchell Shahade

Patricia Stiles

Russell Stiles

Joe Vescio

CAMPSAFE HIV TESTING AND COUNSELING

Dick Hospital

E.J. Kenyon

Sharon Morgan

Joe Vescio

CAMPSHOTS PHOTO VOLUNTEERS

G Michael Beigay

Tony Burns

John Hackett

CODE PURPLE FUNDRAISER

Marce McCollum-Martin

Mark Shaw

Charles Vandergrift

CROP AT COASTAL CLEANUP

Kris Aulenbach

Karen DeSantis

Susan Goudy

Sherri McGee

Joe Vescio

CROP AT THE FOOD BANK

Kris Aulenbach

Cathy Balsley

Deb Carroll

Karen DeSantis

Max Dick

Richard Dietz

Cathy Skeet Forthuber

Sherri McGee

Jana Puffenberger

Holly West

CROP AT THE OVERFALLS FOUNDATION’S CANALSIDE HAPPY HOUR

Celeste Beaupre

Lissa Dulany

Marce McCollum-Martin

Lori Rocheleau

DEVELOPMENT TEAM

Jane Blue

to all the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center Volunteers for the period: Sept. 6-Oct. 4, 2024

Pat Catanzariti

Wes Combs

Mike DeFlavia

Amanda Mahony Albanese

LETTERS DISTRIBUTION TEAM

Glenn Lash

Jim Mease

LETTERS MAILING TEAM

Nancy Hewish

Grant Kingswell

Stephen Palmer

Linda Yingst

LETTERS PROOFING

Barb Ralph

RAINBOW THUMB CLUB

Chris Bowers

Carol Brice

Linda DeFeo

Richard Dietz

Patty DiModugno

Monica Fleishmann

Mitchell Shahade

Rachel Summers

THIS MONTH IN QUEER HISTORY

Beth Shockley

VOLUNTEER DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE

Madelyn Jablon

Marce McCollum-Martin

Jim Mease

Kim Nelson

Rina Pellegrini

John Michael Sophos

Joe Vescio

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CAMELOT MEADOWS - Rehoboth. 1972 3BR/2BA is 1,288 sq. ft. Fully fenced side yard. Main bedroom is en Suite. Community pool. 4 miles to beach. $129,000 (2071060) Lot Rent $1,000/mt.

POT-NETS COVESIDE - Long Neck. Water views of the Bay. Remodeled 1984 3BR/2BA - 1,300 sq. ft. 3 decks & VinylTech porch. So many amenities! $184,600 (2065910) Lot Rent $1,105/mt.

SILVER VIEW FARMRehoboth. 1983 3BR/2BA. 2017 full interior remodel, roof new 2020, HVAC new 2022. Shed Pool community. 3 miles to beach. $139,000 (2071662) Lot Rent $725/mt.

SEA AIR -Rehoboth. Retro cool 1971 3BR/1BA w/ 9’x39’ enclosed porch. Eatin kit. Furnished. Community pool & 3 miles to beach. $75,000 (2071664) Lot Rent $747/mt includes water.

A SPEN MEADOWSRehoboth. 1980 3BR/2BA. 1,100 sq. ft. Nicely updated inside & out. New HVAC & more. Community pool. 4 miles to beach. $159,000 (2062092) Lot Rent $943/mt.

COLONIAL EAST - Rehoboth. Remodeled 3BR/2BA 2005 doublewide. Shed w/elec. Community pool & just 4 miles to Rehoboth & Lewes beaches. $145,000 (2052192) Lot Rent $903/mt.

REHOBOTH BAY - Rehoboth. 1989 2BR/2BA w/screened porch overlooking the pond. Stainless steel appliances. Furnished. Pool. Marina. 6.5 miles to beach. $135,000 (2066238) Lot Rent $705/mt.

REHOBOTH BAY - Rehoboth. Water views of White Oak Creek out to the Bay. 1986 3BR/2BA w/VinylTech porch. Pool. Marina. 6.5 miles to beach. $199,999 (2064280) Lot Rent $819/mt.

SHAWN’S HIDEAWAYMillsboro. Remodeled 1973 3BR/1BA. 1,100 sq. ft. Turnkey. Wrap-around deck. Shed. Marina community. $146,500 (2064756) Lot Rent $485/mt. includes water.

SUSSEX EAST -Lewes. 1994 2BR/2BA doublewide with a den. Needs work. Stone patio & VinylTech porch. Shed. Indoor community pool & 6 miles to beach. $75,000 (2065888) Lot Rent $937/mt.