LIFE Publication
Edition 10, Issue 38 - 2020
Publication Edition 10, Issue 38 - 2020
GROUNDED Publication Edition 10, Issue 38 - 2020
Publication Spiritual rest brings peace amid the storms of life!
Edition 10, Issue 38 - 2020 Candy Daniels
IN THIS ISSUE • • • • •
Guard the Heart New Normal Staying Connected Sorry not Sorry More than a Physiotherapist
Turn the pages to discover more!
WELCOME.... The LIFE publication is produced quarterly. Our goal is to motivate and encourage you as you take one step at at time on the path ahead. Life is a journey with many twists and turns, valleys and mountains, laughter and sorrows. It is not always how we start that matters, rather how we choose to live everyday with the options and choices that are before us. Each edition offers articles and life stories (LIFE-talks) of peoples’ joys, struggles, beliefs and why they have come to certain conclusions or how they contine to unpack the journey ahead. We hope that these will offer you hope with tips you can implement as you journey through life. Today, choose to live and love your life!
Table of Contents Publication ............................................................................................................. 1 Edition 10, Issue 38 - 2020 ...................................................................................... 1
Guard your Heart ........................................................................................... 2 Staying Connected .......................................................................................... 3 New Normal ................................................................................................... 3 Sorry not Sorry!.............................................................................................. 4 Rooted and grounded ..................................................................................... 6 Who is Leading You? ...................................................................................... 7 ~ LIFE-talks ~ ................................................................................................. 8 More than a Physiotherapist .................................................................................. 8 Lessons Learned about Growing a Business ........................................................... 9 The First Easter ..................................................................................................... 10 Living Past Domestic Abuse ................................................................................... 11
Grounded ...................................................................................................... 12
Guard your Heart Candy Daniels I encourage you to guard your heart. The various thoughts in our mind unleash emotions and feelings. Some even subconsciously. We are currently in a season of unprecedented stress. Stress is a normal part of the life journey. Some might even say that if you don’t stress, is it possible that you may not even be alive? Yet ongoing stress is dangerous to our health and wellbeing. Chronic stress will weaken our immune system and lead to spiritual, emotional, social, financial, physical and psychological decline. One of the key ways to stay on top of stress is to take control of it. This is done through guarding the heart. Before we look at guarding the heart, let me explain to you what I mean by heart. Firstly, as much as the physical heart is a primary and vital organ and needs our care and attention, it is not what I am talking about here. The heart I am talking about is also vital and part of who we are. It needs our care and attention just as much as our physical heart. This heart is within us and I would say is our spiritual reality. It is where our intentions, thoughts and dreams live and take shape. This is where connections are established. It is where I believe identity is formed, maintained and sustained. I hope you understand the importance of guarding the heart from this perspective. One of the other key things that you will need to consider before you dive into guarding your heart is its condition. You may need to make some changes to your beliefs and thought life. Consider what you believe and value about yourself by answering the following questions: • Where have these beliefs come from? • Who or what have shaped these beliefs? • How are these beliefs shaping your thinking? • What are your values and why are they important to you? LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
Key steps in guarding the heart • Know whose you are – we belong to God. He created us for relationship and connection. Know where you belong and to whom who you are connected. • Know who you are – what matters is that without doubt you know who you are. Your values, dreams and thoughts are yours. • Know the truth – the truth is, we have a place to belong, we have freedom and each of us carry a purpose. Within us (in the heart) live dreams and passions. These dreams and passions are for our enjoyment and for the benefit of others. • Each day starts from a place of rest – spiritual rest brings peace amid the storms of life. When doubts come in (and they will) what anchors us is not just our knowing but what we believe about what we know. • Stop comparing – you are unique because there is really only one just like you and that’s you. Yes, there is a song that says “anything you can do I can do better”. I don’t believe that is truth. We all do things differently. We may have similar ideas and do similar things and can work together but in the end the result will be different. • Be grateful – at the end of each day as you lie in bed, find at least five things to be grateful for. This will assist to prepare you for sleep and to fall asleep with more ease. • Live in community - invite like-minded people into your circle, people who are willing to do life with you. Those who will encourage, challenge, inspire and stretch you. • Be wise – not all that glitters is gold. Give yourself space to ponder thoughts, explore ideas and sift through goals. Guarding the heart is a daily practice. Master it; it will make you more responsive than reactive to stress and the challenges of life. 2020
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Staying Connected Jodie Chambers You can be certain of one thing in life: change. We have all been dealing with a lot of this in a very short time. There wouldn’t be too many of us that would be coping with all these sudden changes and the accompanying uncertainties. Most of us like to have stability and certainty in our life, so my first message to you is that IT’S OK. It’s ok to feel a little overwhelmed. It’s ok to need some time to work things through. It’s ok to feel discombobulated. (My favourite word. You may like to google it.) In Australia the government is talking about ‘Social Distancing’ and ‘Social Isolation.’ These terms can sound lonely and perhaps your first thought is ‘what does that look like for me?’ Personally, I have limited contact with my daughter as she is a hospital worker. I’ve cancelled some birthday party gatherings and have signed up to Skype to do my counselling sessions from home. These have all been gradual decisions I have made with much discussion with family and friends. We need to try and think a little more creatively and perhaps try some new things for a while. To start with, let’s change the wording from ‘social’ to ‘physical’. We need to continue to socialise and remember that together we can work things through. Isolation and distancing are a physical thing, however, we need to stay connected. Keep talking to people to help you work things through. Don’t try and work all this out on your own. It is a time when we need to trust our government and also strangers. We need to believe that the stranger we see on the street has been doing all that they can to contain this virus as well as ourselves being responsible for our own actions. I’m not sure how you feel about this, but personally I am struggling. It has been a challenge for me to believe that others are LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
doing what they are supposed to do, that those who have travelled are staying home, and those who have been in contact with people who have travelled are also staying at home. The concept is difficult to understand. It is vitally important that we try to still talk to friends and family members. Skype, Zoom, Facebook, Messenger, etc. are all good things to be using. Yes, phoning and even letter writing are all good things too, however we are designed to enjoy company and being together to see each other’s faces. I don’t particularly like the idea of ‘FaceTiming’ and in this social media world, I have tried very hard to avoid Skype, Zoom, etc. I much prefer to meet people in person and talk to them face-to-face, hence why I love being a counsellor. It feels a bit too invasive for me in some way. I’m quite a private person and it feels like I am inviting everyone I socialise with to come into my home. Also, I find it very distracting to see myself as I sit and talk with people. I’m not used to seeing my own reflection looking back at me. Spending hours on my computer or other devices is not what I am used to either, and for some of us it can add to the trap of spending too much time on social media. Don’t be a part of the doom and gloom spreaders. Be the hope and the light. Get your news updates from reliable sources, and that means it’s probably not a friend of a friend who read something on Facebook. Take care of yourself and do the things that bring you joy!
New Normal Shane Cook We are living in extraordinary times where our tomorrows will not look like our yesterdays. As the new year turned over just a few weeks ago, who would have thought of this NEW YEAR? 2020
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Sorry not Sorry!
The world seems to be shutting down as we know it with all its practices! What we took as normal everyday living has changed! Who would have thought even places of worship would be impacted and restricted in their attendance?
Trudy Buchanan How often do we: • expect our children to apologise and forgive, without them understanding why? • say sorry when we don’t know what we’re apologising for? • say sorry to end an argument? • expect forgiveness instead of allowing a hurt person to process and be truly able to offer forgiveness? • take forgiveness for granted? • apologise or forgive disingenuously?
We have just taken these to be our daily living experiences. These times make us think about what our daily schedules are made of. It is time filled by events and appointments, whether social or business, demanding our attention. We do a little of this and a little of that, then we come home, only to do the same thing tomorrow. Yet in a moment of time, without saying a word, there are no theatres, no partying, no travelling, no going anywhere. All our daily habits have now been cancelled. What do we do? For families, “home Schooling” for a season will be your new normal as school gatherings are shut down. This is an amazing opportunity to change all the habits that made us family poor and time poor. How many times have we wished for just another hour to spend with those who really mean the world to us? Yet we could not due to our schedules. This is a great opportunity to hit the RESET BUTTON and begin by putting in place the things that are important. Life will be different after this virus, so why not make it a better different for you and your family? Choose today to reset and replace the building blocks that will give your family healthy faith. I am working on "Quarantined Family Faith" as a resource to help you make this possible. It has always been God’s heart and desire that family is first church. Your local church and every other group are the cheer squad to encourage you as you nurture your children’s faith. This is your opportunity to grow together in your faith journey as a family. (Contact us for more details about this resource). LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
We are often taught that being humble and quick to say sorry and forgive is a sign of humility and good Christian character. I sometimes wonder, however, if that teaching distorts our perception of forgiveness or causes damage to those who have been wronged, especially those who have suffered trauma. I have seen the fear in some clients’ eyes when I raise the topic of forgiveness as they assume certain false expectations — that they have to confront their abuser; that they need to release control back to their abuser; that it means they imagined what had happened to them and they need to forget all the pain or torture they endured. When released from many of the myths of forgiveness and apologies and understand what they are and what they could be — i.e. the ‘why’— the relief is evident. Expectations and misunderstanding breed and feed all sorts of the bigger problems I listed above. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. In the New Testament (NT), the Greek words for forgiveness appear over 170 times. 2020
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However, there are only approximately 70 instances where this translates as “forgive”, mostly with respect to forgiveness of sins, debts or trespasses, or release from captivity. Apart from this usage, the range of meanings of this word might, to listeners in Jesus’ firstcentury context, have included “to let/let go”, “release”, “dismiss”, “take away”, “cancel”, etc. While there is the sense of release embedded in the NT terms, this in no way means that there was an imperative or requirement for offence or trauma to be minimized or forgotten. It certainly doesn’t agree with the phrase, “forgive and forget.” In fact, in order to move through and beyond offence, it is important to remember rightly. This doesn’t mean the offence is never dealt with or moved beyond. Instead it becomes a point of reference so that the offended will ensure they don’t go back into the same position of being hurt or offended. It is, therefore, important to reiterate what forgiveness is not and what it can be for us today.
• • •
Reconciliation and/or trust The offender repenting The same as an apology
Forgiveness is: • Not attributing blame but trying to understand • Letting go, so you can move forward • Demonstrating grace • Allowing God to take care of justice (not excluding prosecution/action where appropriate) • Taking time to reflect on what we are letting go of and what that means • Attitudinal over a lifetime • Not avoiding pain or manipulating a situation • A mental decision to begin with, followed by emotional healing and letting go • Liberating when done from an authentic and reflective processing space To do forgiveness well: • Means knowing what it is and why it is important • Takes time and practice • Helps bring about emotional healing and health • Requires empathy and reflection • Can help find meaning and recover from loss
Forgiveness is not: • Forgetting • Letting the offender off the hook • Surrendering healthy and necessary boundaries • Pretending • A one-time event • Acknowledging the other person was right • Something that automatically removes the pain • The same as not condemning or judging a person • The same as turning the other cheek LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
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Rooted and grounded Adriana Valez Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NASB) "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD. "For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit. The picture of a tree stump with a shoot growing out of it always got me. How is it possible that after everything the tree has been through it can start to grow again? A sliver of green, promising life and hope. Same goes with each one of us. After all that we will go through and all that we have been through, how can we rebuild, come to life again? The fact is that the tree never died in the first place. During the storms and devastations from the outside world, the tree remained, deeply rooted in what it knew, deeply rooted in truth. And it grows again. A shoot will extend, then a trunk, then the leaves and finally the fruit and/or flowers. There is a process though: 1) The tree remained deeply rooted in the ground, drawing strength 2) The tree grew again at the right time 3) The tree bore fruit at the right time Trust in the ground you have been able to flourish in. It will sustain you. Even when the storms fly overhead, menacing and dreadful, go deep into the ground. Find shelter and nourishment in the ground that had been your safe haven. Trust the ground to keep you safe from the outside world.
at the scent of water it will flourish and put forth sprigs like a plant. The roots are the secret. We must have deep roots to withstand the test of the harsh world around us. Go deep, deep into the ground, find the source of life. The Lord tells us to trust in Him. Turn to Him, He is our source of life. The living water, the One who will sustain us. The ground that will protect us. Trust in Him, go deep into His warm embrace. Revelation 21:6-8 Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son‌� The day will come when we shall never know fear, be cut down or thirst again. In that time, we shall all shelter under the tree of life. Revelation 22:1-2 Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street. On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. Meanwhile, we must trust in the process. We must place our roots deep, go as deep into the ground as we possibly can until the time comes that we can grow and provide shelter to the outside world. Until the time comes to once again bear fruit or bring beauty to the world around us.
Job 14:7-9 "For there is hope for a tree, when it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and its shoots will not fail. "Though its roots grow old in the ground and its stump dies in the dry soil, LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
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Who is Leading You? Candy Daniels In various ways, we are all leaders. At times we are unaware that we are leading, yet a great leader inspires others to be agents of change. This inspiration generates followers, who in due course become leaders themselves, changing their own world and the world of others around them. Great leaders lead by example; they walk the talk and there is evidence of their walk and talk. Our attitude and perspective go a long way in how we choose to lead or follow. Our attitude stems from our heart, while our perspective stems from our thoughts and how they are influenced by the world around us. Sometimes the heart and mind/thoughts collide, and we struggle to get moving. We can almost lose direction. Other times the heart will lead, and the mind will follow or vice versa. When we choose to follow Jesus, He will take our gift/craft/skill and teach and inspire us to use it in ways that will bring positive change into our world and the world around us. There are many books about the leadership styles of Jesus because He was and is recognised as one of the greatest leaders. This is because even today people are still following Him and His teachings and choosing to give their lives to Him. Do you know the story in the Bible of Simon Peter, the disciple of Jesus? If you don’t know much about him, pick up a Bible and read one or all of the first four to five books in the New Testament. This will give you a glimpse of the man and how he lived before he knew Jesus, and of how he walked and lived with Jesus. Then you can read the books of Peter found also in the New Testament. Here you will discover a man who had a heart transformation because he discovered belonging. He went on to become a world changer, because he went from being the person who focused on ‘what’s in it for me?’ to ‘what can I offer you?’. He wanted to offer the love, freedom, truth, peace LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
and joy that he discovered from not just following Jesus but from being transformed by Jesus. Over the years, the world has had many leaders. All leaders will be remembered for how they impacted the world one way or another. Take a moment to think about a leader who has transformed your life and your world. How did it change you and the way in which you now live? We have entered a new decade and certainly a new season in which the world is looking to see who will rise up and lead us out safely from COVID-19. Our eyes are set on the world stage to see who will rise up and take the lead. I have noticed that we only seem to cheer on those who do things our way. Have you ever noticed how people (usually from a distance) without the full picture, facts, truth or perhaps even the required skill set, are good at offering opinions? Those watching a sporting game are a great example. I have come to recognise that in a crisis there are many more people who want to have a say, yet are not positioned to. They are not positioned because they haven’t done the work equipping them to be in a place where they can lead in that manner. Consequently, they often end up leading anyone who is willing to listen, and end up leading them astray. Not all leaders have the best intentions. A good leader will be honest and transparent. They are grounded and emotionally and spiritually stable. They show respect and care for all of humanity and they listen. They are aware of their humanity and are not afraid to apologise and take responsibility for their actions. So, pay careful attention to who and what you are listening to. Don’t be a sponge and absorb everything you hear. Seek the truth, act wisely. Pay attention to who you are leading and who are you following. Pray for godly wisdom and direction for our leaders. 2020
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~ LIFE-talks ~ More than a Physiotherapist David Dinca What comes to mind when you think about physiotherapy? Almost without fail, whenever someone discovers I’m a physiotherapist they jokingly ask for a massage. I generally play along because I find it amusing. Sometimes a friend or family member approaches me when they’ve had a bad sleep or a simple case of an awry neck, expecting me to offer my hands in massage. In these moments I have learnt to reflexively respond with a tilted smile, a chuckle, and, “do you know any good physios?”. Truth is, I rarely provide massage services and if a massage is what you are looking for, maybe you’d be better served visiting the local Chinese masseuse. It’s cheaper and smells like essential oils! (Which I've heard from my wife's Romanian aunt, can cure all sorts of ailments!). Just beware - English is generally their second language so be prepared to have Google Translate on hand. Last time I received one of these aforementioned massages, a lovely middle-aged mainland Chinese masseuse performed a whole gymnastics routine on my lower back! I came in with sore hamstrings, but I left with the same sore hamstrings as well as a backache! Actually, I'm the managing director and one of the treating clinicians of an organisation that provides physiotherapy and occupational therapy services to the elderly and disabled. I devise and enact plans to achieve a range of cardiorespiratory, musculoskeletal and neurological rehabilitation goals with my clients. Physiotherapists can help people affected by injury, illness or disability through movement and exercise, manual therapy, education and advice.
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They maintain health for people of all ages and conditions. My approach is always directed by two main goals - 1), achieving independence and 2), improving quality of life. I have the privilege to work with some of the most vulnerable and simultaneously, the most appreciative people. Perhaps your mother’s had a fall, your grandfather is struggling to walk to the shops by himself or maybe your daughter was born with cerebral palsy. These are the kinds of cases I deal with on a daily basis. In my work it’s important to be more than just a clinician. The evidence is clear: bedside manner is extremely important in achieving the best possible prognosis. If my client feels that I care, they care, and their health improves. So, I'm a physio but I’m also a grandson who makes time for a Greek coffee with a side of Koulouri (a delicious Greek biscuit) with my Greek client who feels socially isolated. I’m a physio but I'm also a big brother to a little girl with a developmental delay. I’m a physio, but I’m also a listening ear and a compassionate shoulder for a despairing next of kin to cry on, whose father was recently placed in palliative care. Working with these populations, I am reminded of these words from Mathew 25:40 (NIV): “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me”. These are wise words to live by. I thank God for putting me in a position to serve others. Sometimes we can get complacent at our workplace and can fall into the comfortable trap of doing the bare minimum. If that hits close to home, I encourage you to do more. Let’s ask ourselves, how can we serve God where He has divinely placed us? Who knows, maybe you can be more than just a service to your clients and customers. Maybe you can be a much-needed blessing.
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Lessons Learned about Growing a Business Adriana Valez We have been business owners and operators for almost 20 years. My husband and I have run a few businesses together, some successful, some failures, others dormant. We have seen some grow and expand so quickly, others limp along, others die a slow and painful death. Each time, we learned a lesson, grew and became wiser in our choices and actions. Being in business is not as flashy and glorious as some may think. It requires hard work, dedication, long hours, responsibility and sacrifice. It has also provided us with some of the most satisfying, amazing experiences, friends and contacts who have left a deep impact on us. It has enriched our lives. We were always of the belief that it is better to learn from someone else’s experience. We studied what other successful business owners did around us; we attended self-improvement seminars, went back to school, read and surrounded ourselves with mentors and friends above and beyond our own levels. We studied the Bible to see what God had to say about being a successful business owner. These are some of the lessons learned over the last few years of buying, selling, growing, expanding and reviving a business: 1) Set goals - set goals in important areas: your spiritual, family, business and social lives, along with health and wellness. Be intentional in each area. Proverbs 21:5 (ESV) - The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. 2) Be flexible - move with what is happening around you; don’t be rigid lest you break. Be prepared to bend and move within the industry. Fluidity means you do not become dinosaurs and get left behind. The world changes at a fast pace, now more than ever. Ecclesiastes 3:1 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
3) Be clear about what you do - is this really what you were made to do? Is this really God’s plan for you? Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 4) Prepare financially - Debt is a loadstone that can drown you. Don’t overwhelm your life with debt. God wants his people free. Hebrews 13:5 - Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 5) Seek wisdom - learn, learn, learn - never stop learning. Be discerning and wise. Proverbs 19:20 - Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. 6) Take responsibility for your actions sometimes you get knocked down. It doesn’t mean you stay there. Wake up and show up, things will happen. No situation is too big or too impossible for the children of God. Remember that you are a responsible adult, not a victim. The situation you are in may be a mixture of your own bad choices and the environment around you but it doesn’t mean it is anyone else’s fault or even God’s fault. Take responsibility so you can grow and outgrow your own limitations and current situation. 2 Corinthians 5:10 - For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. 7) Your business is not who you are - don’t tie up your identity with what you do. It’s best to realise that from the beginning. Your business is not who you are. You are first and foremost God’s child; your business is a byproduct of your skills given to you by God. Your identity remains in Christ alone. Romans 8:14 - For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 8) Take time for yourself - remember who you are and what you were created to be. Remember God made a day of rest for everyone 2020
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including you. Take time to relax and enjoy the abundance God has placed in your life. Leave your worries and cares at the feet of the Lord and rest in his peace. Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 9) Don’t get greedy - it’s not all about you, you don’t need palaces on this earth which turn to dust, nor moths and vermin to destroy your hard labour. Matthew 6:19-21 - Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 10) Finally, and most importantly, expand the Kingdom of God - with our business gifts, we need to enrich the lives of others around us. Be joyful in all you do and help those around you so that they may come to know Him. Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
The First Easter Jodie Chambers As an enthusiast, I love philosophy. I have often thought I would like to go and study the topic. I don’t understand half of what I read, yet enjoy the challenge. Recently I started reading The Crucified God by Jurgen Moltmann. This book was described as the “first theological book in Germany written after Auschwitz”. Perhaps I am a bit slow or simply proving my novice stance, but the title of the book didn’t really strike me as unusual until I began to read. Perhaps it is fairly self-explanatory as to the context, yet the writing also lends itself to a desperate need to find the God of LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
suffering. After living through the holocaust, Motlmann seems to be working to find the suffering Christ as he said of his time in Auschwitz, “it was the God-forsakenness of the victims and the Godlessness of the perpetrators which made me cry out for God.” Moltmann’s historical explanation of the cultural significance of crucifixion for the Israelites was something I hadn’t known. Crucifixion represented exclusion from eternity and an affront to the law of God. Yes, there were Israelites who were crucified for not bowing to the Roman gods and they were labelled martyrs for the Israelite cause. However, Jesus was crucified a blasphemer, therefore he was shamed and rejected by the Israelites and any self-respecting follower of God. In fact, it was said to be disrespectful and in bad taste to even speak of crucifixion and was met with mockery among well-to-do people. Jesus and his disciples were considered atheists due to their radical views of Jewish law along with their status in the community (tax collectors and thieves). The Pharisees and Jewish counsel could not accept a blasphemer, crucified in shame as a prophet and certainly not the Messiah. The sign of the cross wasn’t seen as victory or triumph but of contradiction, divisiveness and scandal. Christianity today sees the symbol of the cross as representing triumph over evil, grace and love yet it couldn’t have been more different, that first Good Friday. Jesus was an embarrassment to His family and a disgrace within His Jewish community. He and His disciples lived with extreme and unacceptable beliefs, ostracizing them from what was socially and culturally acceptable. Let’s take some time to look at the actual crucifixion, the first Good Friday. We skim over it without really considering the despairing cry emitted from the cross. Indeed, John and Luke barely mention it but in Mark 15:34 we read “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (NLT 2nd ed.). This is what Moltmann says: 2020
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“Not until we understand [Jesus’] abandonment by the God and Father whose imminence and closeness he had proclaimed in a unique, gracious and festive way, can we understand what was distinctive about his death. Just as there was a unique fellowship with God in his life and preaching, so in his death there was a unique abandonment by God. This is something more than and something different from ‘collapse’ and ‘failure’.” (pg. 151) Is it too hard to imagine the anguished cry of Jesus when such a close relationship suddenly is taken from Him? We as humans can only strive, pant and hope for such intimacy with God through His Holy Spirit. Jesus lived it with this intimacy. What we can fail to understand is that Jesus was fully human AND fully divine and IS God. He was God on the cross and forsakes all for us. In our darkest moments of abandonment, hopelessness, deprivation and shame, Jesus knows. He has felt more than these words can express. Let’s see if we can recover from this revelation and bring it down to a more human level. Consider the disciples. Jesus was the great hope for Israel. The Messiah had come and was living among them. They knew Jesus had come from God, yet His death on the cross was no different to other martyrs’ and prophets’ that had been killed before. Had they been foolish in following Jesus? He was gone and so was their new, meaningful life as they had begun to understand it. They were now left disenfranchised and belonged nowhere. Abandoned and forgotten with no-one to lead them into the Kingdom Jesus had spoken of, the Kingdom they had glimpsed in Jesus. What could they do? Jesus’ death left them feeling hopeless and with greater feelings of shame in their community than they’d felt before as tax collectors and thieves. They had lived fully in the love of Jesus, experiencing God’s love up close and personal. It was now taken from them. For three days they walked in utter abandonment and shock. Nothing would have looked or felt the same. Where did they belong? Who could LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
understand the loss they had experienced? Feeling shunned and humiliated in their community, yet also with the knowledge of what had been. Perhaps we could say they were suffering PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) along with abandonment and disenfranchisement. Can you begin to imagine the abundance of joy they would have felt when Jesus was resurrected? Just writing these words I feel I have been on a huge emotional roller-coaster. The depths of despair to the heights of joy. The first Easter can only be understood backwards from the resurrection. In fact, our whole Christian faith is believed backwards. Without the resurrection there is no faith. Jesus would have been just another martyred prophet. There were no writings of what Jesus was doing until after the resurrection. Things weren’t recorded at the time, but afterwards, from a perspective of understanding, hope, love and the Holy Spirit. Easter was lived in abandonment, hopelessness, shame, despair. May you understand the love of God this Easter season.
Living Past Domestic Abuse Julie Kelly The recent loss of more innocent lives to domestic abuse triggers anger and fear for many, whether they have been experiencing abuse themselves or are close to someone who is. There is yet again a cry for justice and change, echoed by the voice of many. On the injustices of life, Ecclesiastes 3:16-17 (NLT) says, “I also noticed that under the sun there is evil in the courtroom. Yes, even the courtrooms are corrupt! I said to myself, “In due season, God will judge everyone, both good and bad, for all their deeds”.
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We are once again in a time of waiting for justice, for police and courts to be given more powers, for more protection, more action and more change. For a government to arrange a domestic violence moratorium. Personally, these past weeks reinforced the reason why there is fear in leaving and why fear continues to creep back in, even after finally finding freedom. The truth lived out was the unpredictable nature of the abusive partner. Whilst living within the walls, there were always the signs to look out for, the attempts to get one step ahead and prepare for what was inevitable. It didn’t stop the abuse, but somehow made surrendering to it easier. There were times when thoughts like “if only he hit me, then people would see, then people would know, then people would ask questions or step in and help. Where I am bruised, no one can see.”
Keep the joy in your heart of knowing He is always with you, will never fail you and never let you go. You were created to be creative, so let your creative lifeline flow and find passion in all that you do. Creativity heals the heart, stills the mind and brings beauty out of ashes. And as Ecclesiastes says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven... a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance... A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecc. 3:1, 4, 7-8) And when it rains, there is time to create and then the sun will shine upon you once again.
GROUNDED
But on the outside, after freedom is gained, there are still times of fear. Times when the heart leaps at a sudden noise at night, at a shadow near the window, at a car door slamming shut. There is the loss of predictability, loss of being a step ahead, of being able to brace for it and a reinforcement of knowing the abuser was always unpredictable. Both existing together - it’s in the knowing.
how to stay well balanced and sensible Be Grateful for the little things Be Resourceful with what you have Be Open to new discoveries Be Understanding of yourself Be Nice with your words Be Directed by love Be Engaged in one thing at a time Be Diligent in self-care
So how do we deal with that fear, that knowing? By knowing Him, by knowing who He is, by knowing His presence, His power and His strength. By knowing that we live inside Him and He inside us. By knowing that there is a constant dance around us of the Holy Trinity the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit - all dancing, singing and rejoicing in us, His beautiful children. As we dance under and within His umbrella, we can surrender our fears and be focused on the dance, the signs, the wonders and the little things He does to bring us joy, comfort, strength and provision. All the other things melt into the distance as we surrender and offer up these things to Him.
LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
One of the ways to stay calm particularly in stressful situations is to be grounded. So, take a deep breath and go through each of the above steps as needed when you feel the stress rising. You don’t have to follow the steps in any particular order. Be flexible. •
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Remember to always focus first on what you can control. Place your feet flat on the ground and feel the firmness. Place your hands on your hips and put your shoulders back. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.
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LIFE Edition 10, Issue 38
2020
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