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Perfectly imperfect: You are enough!
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How to deal with Imposter Syndrome
ave you ever thought or said, “I’m not as capable as other people think I am” or “I have to be perfect to feel good enough”? Do you feel inadequate, no matter how much you achieve? Maybe you believe your success is due to luck, rather than true personal ability, or it will only come with an extraordinary amount of hard work? If your answer is "yes", then you are in good company. Most of us, including high achievers, have experienced self-doubt or a lack of confidence in ourselves. This is known as Imposter Syndrome. It’s an internal experience of not believing we are intelligent, capable, or creative, despite external evidence, or feedback to the contrary.
Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome doesn’t discriminate, though some research suggests it may affect immigrants more than other groups. As an immigrant experiencing cultural, language and employment barriers, it’s easy to feel insecure, or dismiss our credibility, especially when we compare ourselves to nonimmigrants or those with more Canadian experience. It’s not surprising that we can struggle to find our place, to feel like we belong. Add to this, our perception of success might be different from our family’s definition, based on their beliefs, expectations and understanding of our work and lifestyle. When we don’t get the validation or feedback from those closest to us, it can lead us to feel vulnerable, inadequate and unsupported.
These thoughts exist in your head and, as such can be changed with some practice over time. Separate thoughts (perception) from facts (reality).
• Challenge
the truth of your assumptions. Get curious and be prepared to re-think.
• Talk
openly about how you are feeling. Good leaders recognize vulnerability as a strength in this country. Practice being vulnerable with someone you trust, who can relate.
Be •
self-compassionate rather than self-critical. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come and how much wisdom you have.
imperfections. We may respond to ourselves, we seek out “quick wins” Imposter Syndrome in several ways: that will give us immediate pleasure. This could be using food, alcohol, Work harder – We may TV, social media, computer games over-prepare, overwork, work in or exercise, hobbies, meditation, isolation, set ourselves high (usually sleep, etc. unrealistic) expectations, all of which is stressful, especially if we fall Strategies short. Perfection is time consuming, While it might be impossible rarely satisfying and often results in to totally eliminate Imposter overwhelm and burnout. Syndrome, there are ways that we
• Worry
less about other peoples’ perceptions of you – you cannot control what they think or feel.
• Avoid
comparing yourself with others. You only see their highlights, not the whole picture.
Work-in-progress
The truth is, we are all a “workin-progress” – imperfect and can manage these feelings when we incomplete. Procrastinate – We are reluctant recognize they are holding us back: to step out of our comfort zone, step We are perfectly flawed and that’s up to a challenge or try something Accept Imposter Syndrome for what makes us the unique human • new. We may decline, or even avoid, what it is: “faulty thinking.” beings we are. opportunities because we don’t think we’re ‘rather than’ or worthy. This can happen especially when we Hazel Morley has worked as a trainer, facilitator and coach for compare ourselves to others whom more than 25 years, in England and after immigrating to Canada we perceive to be ‘better than’ us in 2009. After her own personal health crisis, she shifted gears in some way; for example, that they to focus on strategies for enjoying optimal health. are more successful, experienced, or knowledgeable. A fear of failure or making mistakes can also keep us You may find that your imposter from making progress. feelings are situational. For example, you may feel it in your work, your Underperform – If we feel like academic achievements, parenting a fraud – for instance, we may have or other relationships, sports or accepted a job that is unfamiliar other recreational pursuits. and there’s lots we don’t know and may self-sabotage due to our lack of Consequences self-belief and confidence. We may Join the Amazon team. Due to the way our brain is wired, not feel safe speaking up, asking for it’s human nature to focus on the help, or admitting we don’t have the negative. It’s natural to overlook answers or solutions to a problem. Apply now at amazon.com/vancouverjobs the positive feedback and focus on what we lack, what we haven’t Distract and comfort ourselves been able to achieve, our flaws and – Usually to feel better about
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