Issue 11 of the Capilano Courier

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north vancouver

× November 18th 2013

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N o . 11

CAPILANO

COURIER

N O RT H PO O L

CLIMATE CHANGE and the Northwest Passage

UNUSED SCHOLARSHIPS

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FUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY

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GO MASCOT GO

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LEARNING DISABLED

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47 issue N o . 11

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CABOOSE

Odd Scholarships

Forest Sounds

Bit-Currency

Empire Strips Back

Broke Holidays

No Sex Japan

Hair Bands

Therese Guieb Features Editor

Andy Rice Arts + Culture Editor

The Staff

Scott Moraes Managing Editor

Kristi Alexandra Copy Editor

Katherine Gillard News Editor

Faye Alexander Opinions Editor

the capilano courier

Ă—

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47 issue N o . 11

Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

of this Edmonton bound, strip club - loving, university newspaper

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Jeremy Hanlon Caboose Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Carlo Javier Staff Writer

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper.

Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Lindsay Howe Marketing/Ads/Web Editor

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

life's band aids " Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way."

Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief

- Christopher Hitchens

Some times in life are just shittier than others. You know the clichés: there can’t be any peaks without the valleys; the sun can’t shine everyday; if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and other equally corny sentiments. But these are just fancy ways of saying that life is hard and shitty at times. And sometimes it gets so bleak that you lose optimism, making these clichés more annoying than helpful.

Right now, it feels like life is gut punching me for fun. Between my responsibilities at the Courier, taking five business classes, a minimum of two dentist and chiropractor appointments a week, and a half-assed attempt at a social or love life, it seems like the only time I have left is reserved for talking about how constantly busy I am. And I know I’m not the only one. This time can be the worst for university students, with all the projects they heard about on the first day of classes and then promptly forgot about being due, and final exams looming, it’s not a wonder why it’s hard to find the good times right now. This week, I thought I was at my worst.

And then life decided to gut punch a little bit harder.

On Tuesday afternoon, my friend Chelsea called to say that a friend of ours was hit by a car in Missouri, and was killed. Refusing to believe it, I called another friend in the same social circle to clarify. When she picked up all I heard were sobs, verifying that the rumour was true.

Through diabetes and an intense love affair with heavy partying, it was a car that killed Faraz.

Of all the things to conquer him, I never thought it would be getting hit by a car.

Because of the sad news, I crumbled. I kept it together long enough to finish working on a group project, but after that, I sobbed into one of my instructor’s offices. Unabashedly, I cried about how my head was too messed up to write a quiz that night, how hard life is, and how stupid business school is. He asked me twice to close the door, but I refused. In a sick way, I wanted people to see me cry. I think I just got tired of pretending everything is okay.

THE VOICE BOX

“I want the garbage man. I am a man. I need you to be the vector for me to reenact all of my dirty fantasies.”

“I've written stuff for the Liar but I haven't seen it hit the stands yet. Could it be that the whole publication is but a lie?”

This is getting really weird. Who is this heart-snatching litterman babe, and how is this any of my business? I won't be the vector for any of this shit. You grow a pair and go tell the man himself you want to blow him behind a dumpster.

Good question. It is not a lie, per se, it's just a thing that is and is not. It exists and doesn't. It is love, it is mystery, it is pain, it is sorrow. To sum it up, the Liar is run by pseudo-poets and writer-wannabes (no offense to you) and they're usually flaky. I don't know what's up with them or whether they can afford the printing costs. You can write for us and we'll get back to you very quickly and then show you the money. Cool, huh?

“I've been stressed with school all term but now that it's almost Christmas break, I'm a bit sad. In a way, I hate school but then I also can't live without it. It's so frustrating. Why does this happen to me??”

Because she's got no teeth, asshole.

"How many pizzas do you eat over a 12-issue period?"

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Collectively 82. If our budget allows, 100. We like pizza. We don't share. Except with the security guard. Sometimes.

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The Voicebox is back, ready to humbly respond to your questions, concerns, and comments about anything Courier. To inquire, just send a text to 778 - 689 - 4642 to anonymously "express" and "voice" your "opinion" and "thoughts" on any "subject" or "issue". And, as long as it's not offensive, we will publish it here, right in the Voicebox. It's a win - win, or whine - whine - whatever way you look at it.

Oh, child. I don't know you enough to accurately answer that question, so I'll just take the liberty to make assumptions. You're probably a high-strung A-student who constantly needs to have a chance to prove herself. Being a student makes you feel good, better than other people, while just taking time off makes you feel useless. Relax, watch some movies, decorate a tree, and in the New Year, fail a quiz just for the hell of it. It feels really good.

"Why does Leah keep talking about dentists?"

the capilano courier

WITH : SCOTT MORAES

Crying to my teacher may not have been the best person to crack in front of. And to my disgust, his initial thought was that I had fabricated the death of a friend to get out of writing a quiz. But after seeing my puffy eyes, and mascara-streaked face, he allowed me to write it on Thursday, with a note from my counsellor. Even with the extra two days to study, I still bombed it.

I’m usually a good student, and have managed to maintain a high GPA throughout my university career.

Usually, I’m very organized, and make it a habit to promptly reply to emails and texts. And usually, I take pride in doing a job well done. But because of my current battle with day-to-day life, I’m forced to accept less and be happy with it. I’m accepting lower grades, taking a few days to get back to people, and maybe not writing the most epic essay that I will ever get to. And the best part is, I’m learning that that’s okay. Sometimes you just have to stick a Band-Aid on whatever hurts and just do whatever you can to get through the day. I have come to the realization that I’m going to be doing just that for the rest of the semester, and I just have to be okay with it. There are certain things in life that should always trump getting good grades, and for me, being happy is definitely one of them. Losing a friend is a reminder of that.

Faraz and I weren’t the closest of friends, only having met a handful of times, but I can recall his demeanor.

He was friendly and nice, which are two things I value most in people. He was the first to laugh at my awful jokes about my broken mouth, and I gush over anyone who laughs at my jokes. But the main thing I enjoy and respect about Faraz is that he was loved by some of the people I love the most. He was a rock in the social circle, and he’s going to leave a gaping hole behind.

To ease the shock and pain, some of my friends have noted how Faraz said he was never going to live past 30. And he was so stubborn that he died at 29 – that’s just the way he was. And that may be making it slightly easier to accept – just as some of those clichés about life make it easy to combat through. I think my friend Cat put it perfectly: hug something you love, because you just don’t know when it won’t be there anymore.

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NEWS

NEWS EDITOR × KATHERINE GILLARD

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

petition for privacy CAPILANO STUDENTS HIGHLIGHT GOVERNMENT SURVEILLANCE ISSUES Katherine Gillard × News Editor

Kristi Alexandra × Copy Editor When former CIA agent Edward Snowden leaked private documents that detailed classified United States government mass surveillance programs to The Guardian earlier this year, he became a controversial figure – a fugitive no less – viewed as a hero by some and a traitor by others.

The computer specialist, who now resides in Russia after being granted temporary asylum, made a bold move in the name of protecting civilian privacy, having said that his “sole motive for leaking the documents was to inform the public as to that which is done in their name and that which is done against them.”

Now, two Canadian organizations are attempting to blow the whistle on the Canadian government in a similar movement. On Oct. 22, the B.C. Civil Liberties Association [BCCLA] and Open Media filed a lawsuit against the Communication Security Establishment of Canada [CSEC], saying that, “its broad and unchecked surveillance of Canadians is unconstitutional.”

The lawsuit claims that CSEC violates two of the Charter’s protections against unreasonable search and seizure, which are “the interception of

the private communications of Canadians” and “the sweeping collection of metadata information produced by Canadians.”

A campaign by Open Media called “Stop Illegal Spying” aims to gather signatures in a petition against CSEC. Capilano professor Michael Markwick – who teaches a fourth-year communications class – wanted his students to be aware of challenges to freedoms and privacy involved in using social media. In his class, students are tackling different subjects within the realm of communications in a group project, with one group of students in particular tackling the lawsuit filed by the BCCLA and Open Media against the CSEC. “[The class] is designed to allow students to tackle some of the core challenges facing everyone in our use of social media,” Markwick says.

“The starting point we take for this work is the guarantee as a ‘fundamental freedom’ of the right to communicate and of the right to be free from ‘unreasonable search and seizure’ enshrined in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.”

The group is hosting an event at Capilano Uni-

versity on Nov. 22 with panelists from BCCLA and Open Media to talk about why social media users should sign the privacy petition.

Christina Lamanes, a student in Markwick’s communications class and one of the organizers of the group project, says she was interested in taking up this project in particular because the BCCLA and Open Media are actively exercising Canadians’ Charter of Rights and Freedoms for them. “[It] is exciting on an academic level,” Lamanes says, “On a more personal level, it is somehow both empowering and humbling that we live in a country where we have these rights at all. Also, the opportunity to work with such forward-thinking organizations was a huge motivation.”

Markwick, it seems, is impressed with his students and how timely their project seems to be.

“The urgency of this group’s project was underscored last week as the Supreme Court of Canada, yet again, ruled in the strongest possible terms that the government is strictly prohibited by the Charter from placing our online activities under surveillance,” he says. “When you consider how so much of our lives, from routine things like banking, to

deeply private aspects of our lives take place via computers, social media, clouds, etc., the importance of the Court’s ruling, the BCCLA litigation against CSEC, and the work of this CMNS 453 group is difficult to overstate.”

While there may have been a bit of a struggle to maintain Canadians’ right to privacy, the Supreme Court made a pretty strong statement against government surveillance – making almost certain that no one involved in either the BCCLA or Open Media will be deemed a fugitive in the near future.

Lamanes says her group is privileged to be able to help educate alongside the two groups.

“We have been fortunate to have worked with both BCCLA and Open Media in the past. They are such open, intelligent, and eloquent groups of people and they are so happy to educate and help people become more aware, which is the aim of this event,” she says. “They are making these issues accessible and we want to do the same on campus.”

Students of the CMNS 453 group will be hosting the Stop Illegal Spying event on Nov. 22 from 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the CSU library lounge.

immunity FLU SHOTS OR FACE MASKS BECOME THE CHOICE OF BC HEALTHCARE WORKERS Faye Alexander

the capilano courier

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× Opinions Editor

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British Columbia has become the first province to implement a policy requiring healthcare workers to get a flu shot or wear a mask to protect their patients. Flu season typically runs from late November or early December until the end of March.

This new measure has been implemented for all staff working in publicly-funded facilities including long-term care homes.

The flu causes more deaths every year than all other vaccine-preventable diseases combined and hospitalized patients and seniors are at greater risk of complication than the rest of the population.

“Influenza is not a trivial illness, particularly for vulnerable people,” says provincial health officer Dr. Perry Kendall. Health authorities in B.C. have been attempting to drum up the number of healthcare workers who get immunized for the past three years. However, despite the encouragement, levels have decreased since 2010. “We know that a surprising number of healthcare workers will go on working even when they have symptoms of influenza and there are case studies showing how vulnerable patients in hospitals do get influenza and get serious complications,” explains Dr. Kendall.

The controversial plan to force thousands of provincial healthcare workers to receive the flu shot caused a frenzy in 2012 when originally put forward. The mandatory program was intended to protect patients due to the fact the voluntary option was not working. Less than 50 per cent of

workers in the field were being vaccinated. Any healthcare workers who were unwilling to receive immunization would face disciplinary action, some to the point of termination. Although the policy remains in effect, the B.C. government temporarily backed away from the plan after receiving backlash for denying healthcare workers the right to make their own decision about their health, as well as denying their collective privacy.

“I think it’s good for people with compromised immune systems, but for people who have immune systems who work just fine and are healthy, they should not be forced to get it,” says Ben Santo, a healthcare worker with Hollyburn Family Services. “I don’t think it should be mandatory.

Humans have survived years of the flu without a magic flu shot.”

Certainly, the debate on the effectiveness of the vaccine remains a large part of the issue. The B.C. Nurses Union states, “Given the clearly conflicting evidence about the effectiveness of the flu shot, we were very much opposed to policies aimed at forcing workers to get it.” In its 2010 review of nearly 50 studies involving over 70,000 participants, the Cochrane Collaboration, a well-respected voice in medical research, concluded that flu vaccines had virtually no effect on the number of adults hospitalized by influenza, nor days from attending work. “I would not get [the shot] again as the flus that I’ve had since getting these vaccinations are

worse than any flus I have had before,” says Santo.

Statistics Canada says the number of deaths from pneumonia and influenza has increased from approximately 4,200 in 1979 to 8,030 in 1997.

Despite the increase in the absolute number of deaths, the vast majority of them being individuals over 75 years of age, mortality rates have actually gone down in every age group. Canada currently ranks number one in the world for influenza vaccine doses per capita, that’s nearly one in three citizens. With the baby-boomer generation entering their golden years as senior citizens, the amount of deaths caused by influenza undoubtedly will rise as our population shifts.

B.C. arbitrator Robert Diebolt, has upheld the provincial policy requiring healthcare workers to either receive the shot or wear a facemask throughout flu season after hearing from each side of the debate over 15 days. “This is a win for patients and residents of long-term care facilities,” says Dr. Kendall. The program will have a range of options available to discipline healthcare workers who do not abide with the policy including education, engagement, or termination. Some exceptions may be considered for those with medical, religious, or ethical reasons.

The flu shot is provided for free in B.C. to high-risk populations including seniors, aboriginals, people with chronic health conditions, and those with compromised immune systems. The

× Danielle Mainman B.C. Centre for Disease Control issued their support of the policy; quick to point out the vaccination protects both the workers and their families.

Anyone not eligible for a free influenza vaccine can purchase it at certain pharmacies and all clinics, and many employers are now providing flu shot services at the workplace. ImmunizeBC.ca explains that for the best protection individuals should be immunized as soon as possible given that the disease can be spread before symptoms show themselves.

news

unused cash CANADIAN SCHOLARSHIPS ARE GOING UNCLAIMED Katherine Gillard × News Editor

In February 2013, the federal government concluded that they would need $231 million to pay off over 44,000 debts related to Canada Student Loans. Coming from taxpayer’s pockets, this money is necessary because although many students take out student loans, not all of them are able to pay them back. This isn’t a new problem, with over $312 million having been put towards unpaid student loans from 2011, paying back over $98,000 debts collected in the past decade.

At the same time, a recent report by CBC showed that although there is $25 million dollars in scholarships available in Saskatchewan, many are going unused - only one in 10 of scholarships or bursaries available at the University of Regina are being claimed in a year.

Despite a wide array of scholarships available, with websites such as scholarshipscanada.com and scholarships.gc.ca offering the tools to find them, students often don’t fit the requirements. There are unusual scholarships such as the Duck Brand Duct Tape “Stuck at Prom” Scholarship which awards up to $43,000 in scholarship money to students that wear outfits made out of duct tape to their proms; or, Talls Club International that awards $1,000 to a tall person. The list goes on, from being left-handed, to having a high GPA. Some awards are restricted to specific programs, which

makes it hard for students in general studies to apply.

“Most Capilano University scholarships, bursaries, and awards can be applied for online through the Student Information Web Service via myCap. There are four categories for online applications: First Semester Bursary, Disability Awards, Scholarships and Achievement Awards, and Bursaries and Financial Needs-Based Awards,” comments Lindsay Tiemer, supervisor at Capilano’s Financial Aid and Awards.

“Students are encouraged to submit their online applications each term to ensure that they are considered for awards in each category where they meet the eligibility criteria.”

Most scholarships at Capilano are claimed, and the requirements aren’t as unusual as being tall, but there are still certain requirements that can be found online, although some require a paper application and cannot be handed in on the web. Some requirements include being enrolled in women’s studies courses or a GPA of 2.5 or 3.0.

Students still may have a hard time, with only a few scholarships having broad requirements, and many being program-focused. University of Regina provost Thomas Chase told CBC, “In talking about new scholarships with donors, we try to encourage donors, upon whom we depend for

× Megan Collinson these funds, to consider criteria that are broad and that are open and benefit the maximum number of students."

Scholarshipscanada.com is a go-to for many students looking for off-campus scholarship money, offering a search engine that helps narrow down available scholarships based on student’s academic average and other requirements. The website currently lists 77,744 awards worth over $100 million, however it reports about $3 million goes unclaimed each year. For many struggling students, this money could make a difference.

Capilano’s scholarships have just re-opened for the spring semester which means that many students will be applying in the next few weeks, although they won’t know what they have or haven’t

received until six to eight weeks after applications close.

“If a scholarship does not have any qualified applicants, the award application may be re-launched with an extended submission deadline,” adds Tiemer. “If a re-launched application does not receive any qualified applicants, the scholarship may be offered in a future term.”

CapU offers scholarships, bursaries, and awards each term - fall, spring, and summer. Applications open the same day that registration for the term opens – Nov. 13, 2013 for the Spring 2014 term, and close at 4 p.m. on the last day of the standard add/drop period each term – Jan. 17 for the Spring 2014 term.

healing hospitals WARDS SUFFER FROM UNDERFUNDING Carlo Javier × Staff Writer

× Tierney Milne

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To further complicate situations, the surge of patients and issues with understaffing – when compounded can further decrease the nurse workforce. “It's very difficult to retain nursing staff and cover sick calls because of the burnout nurses get when always working with heavy patient loads.

This affects the workplace not only in terms of staffing levels but also decreased morale and overall job satisfaction,” explains Espadero.

Not only has the province provided the needed capital, the Province reports that the funds provided have also been on time and on budget. It could be that hospitals are getting caught up with the newest technology, while neglecting the improvement of the work force. “It happens often that workload is increased without the necessary increase in existing staff to take on the workload.

Money being spent on technology is a good thing,” says Espadero. “However, nursing is a deeply human profession which intervenes during the human experience of vulnerability. No piece of fancy technology can replace this humanity at such a volatile time in a person's life.”

Fraser Health was unable to comment before deadline.

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real challenge for a nurse to balance and prioritize these shift demands safely and efficiently, so there is bound to be aspects of care that are not carried out as thoroughly as they should,” says Espadero.

The office of B.C. Health Ministry also called for a review of Fraser Health. The health authority’s jurisdiction has the fastest growing population in the province, and the increase in patients has also resulted in several raises in funding. Despite that, Fraser Health Authority has failed to meet the budget in three consecutive years.

For the annual average growth in population of 1.3 per cent, Fraser Health’s budget received an increase of six per cent.

Annually, Fraser Health splits a budget of $2.5 billion among 13 hospitals, which includes the Royal Columbian and the Langley Memorial among others. The case with Surrey Memorial, however, provides a taller challenge. Fraser Health CEO Nigel Murray said that despite having the province provide the capital needed, Surrey Memorial is undergoing an unprecedented and constant increase in population. It is estimated that the new ER in Surrey Memorial is gaining 60 new patients on a daily basis, a 16 per cent increase prior to its opening.

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the B.C. Nurses’ Union stated that the optimal number of patients a nurse should be tending to at a time is four, yet circumstances are leaving nurses with more than the ideal number.

This rapid increase in patients sometimes becomes too great which means that nurses end up being outnumbered. “It's not realistic to expect this level of care when the patient load increases.

Some nurses feel they can only do what is necessary and others feel that they are not able to do their job well. It’s hard to maintain a certain standard of care that is expected if the environment you work in is not conducive to it,” explains Espadero.

Surrey Memorial recently opened a new emergency department that had a price tag of $500 million. The department is noted as the second largest of its kind in Canada, spanning the size of three ice rinks. The issue with understaffing also comes along despite Fraser Health’s statement that it has invested $10 million and added 1,000 nurses to the workforce in the past three years.

“Aside from the medically-inclined tasks a nurse must complete per patient, there are also other necessities needed to be met; the nurse must also document accurately throughout the shift all interventions and pertinent assessment data. It's a

the capilano courier

Despite the new renovations, Surrey Memorial Hospital still left a pneumonia patient disappointed and overwhelmed with a “hell-like” experience during her stay.

Angelica Wrobbel complained primarily of issues with understaffing and unsanitary conditions during her five-day stay at the hospital, which ended after she was moved to a lounge area due to lack of space.

Wrobbel was left unattended for extended periods of time, to the point that she often ate despite having her soiled bed pan right next to her.

Wrobbel also went through hours before a leaky drainage tube was reattached properly.

In a report from the Vancouver Sun, Wrobbel spoke about confounded nurses who were left to try to manage treating about 19 patients at a time, highlighting a problem with understaffing in wards throughout some hospitals in the Fraser Health system.

“Her experience, however unfortunate, is an accurate reflection of how understaffing affects nursing care,” begins Dexter Espadero, a licensed practical nurse. “In caring for a single patient, a nurse is responsible for physical assessments, subsequent follow ups to those assessments, medications, treatments, communicating changes in patients conditions to doctors and other members of the health care team, educating the patient, and assisting with activities of daily living such as bathing, walking, and eating,” he lists.

In agreement, Debra McPherson, president of

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arts + Culture

A + C EDITOR ×

ANDY RICE

ARTS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

hot stuff coming through SPICY SAUCES ARE SEEING A SPIKE IN POPULARITY Steve Tornes × Writer

Andy Rice × Arts + Culture Editor

the capilano courier

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A recent move to stop production at the Sriracha hot sauce factory in Irwindale, California has unearthed a culture of loyal spice-seekers around the globe. And while these folks may have seemingly come out of nowhere to defend their brand of choice, chili-based condiments have actually been a staple of the world’s cuisine for centuries. From Mexico City to Manila, gallons of hot sauces are consumed each year, of which Sriracha is just one manufacturer.

For many, however, the spicy situation in Irwindale served as a reminder of a product they often took for granted. After neighbouring locals complained about the smell emanating from Sriracha’s manufacturing facility, saying it gave them headaches, watery eyes, and a burning sensation in their throats, the city filed a suit to halt production. An L.A. superior court judge ruled against the move and instead set a hearing for Nov. 22.

According to David Tran, the founder and CEO of Sriracha’s parent company Huy Fong Foods, a factory closure would have cost the company $10 million in losses and could have led to bankruptcy.

For Vancouver musician and hot sauce enthusiast Nic Bermudez, the idea of Sriracha vanishing from store shelves is particularly concerning.

“I actually followed that [news story] pretty darn closely because I was kind of freaked out,” he says.

I definitely hope that wouldn’t happen. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but it would suck.

Sriracha is pretty phenomenal.”

Also known as “rooster sauce” and by another more inappropriate nickname stemming from the fowl that graces its bottle, Sriracha is among the most popular hot sauces on the market today.

Even Subway has jumped on board, introducing a Sriracha Chicken Melt that made it the first major fast food chain to include the sauce on a

menu item. Sriracha lip balm, candy canes, and popcorn are all available online, and a quick YouTube search reveals that a rap has also been created about the sauce. Sriracha’s distinctive red bottle with its green top and white rooster outline has not only become an unmistakable fixture of pop culture, but is apparently fashionable as well. A pair of shoes inspired by the sauce currently retails for $180 from Hourglass Footwear.

But while Sriracha may be a hot commodity in today’s market, it’s far from being the hottest sauce in terms of spice level. Heat from chili peppers is rated on the Scoville scale, which measures the concentration of capsaicin, the active compound that creates the endorphin-causing heat sensation people either love or fear. Sriracha and Tabasco both have a rating of 2,500, the jalapeno has a rating of 9,000, the habanero has a rating of 350,000, and the Naga Jolokia “Ghost Pepper” has a rating of 1,578,000. The Ghost Pepper held the Guinness record for being the world’s spiciest chili between 2007 and 2011, but was dethroned in 2012 by the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion, which has a rating of 2,009,231. Plant breeders and spice enthusiasts remain ever hopeful that something even hotter will soon be discovered.

Others, however, are quick to point out that heat isn’t everything. “I really dig hot sauces that have a kind of balance,” says Bermudez. “I don’t like it when a hot sauce is just heat and no flavour and I also don’t like a hot sauce that’s just flavour and no heat.”

“More and more people are becoming more rounded in their flavourings,” agrees John Moorhouse, the creator of North Vancouver’s own Jumpin’ Johnny’s Hot Sauce. “They are looking for something better, as far as hot sauces are concerned. I’ve noticed a big jump in my hot sauce

sales in the last couple of months, with everybody trying to cook at home.”

Moorhouse markets his sauce as “ketchup for adults” in that he advertises the flavour more than the heat. And although he’s still “the little guy” compared to larger manufacturers like Huy Fong, he says he isn’t worried about competition because he’s targeting a different type of food altogether.

Sriracha “is really good with the Asian cuisine,” he says. “Mine doesn’t work with the Asian cuisine and I don’t find that [Sriracha] works with the North American cuisine as much as mine does.”

Bermudez is also a big believer in using different sauces for different applications. “On the quicker food I tend to use more stuff like Sriracha or like Frank’s [Red Hot Sauce] or like Tabasco chipotle,” he explains, “but I use Blair’s Mega Death Sauce when I make chili.”

Spice can be a polarizing thing, with people either loving or hating the sweats and sensations that come along with it. But for those who do enjoy adding a little kick to their favourite dishes, there are hundreds of hot sauce brands on the market. And while Frank’s Red Hot may be a local favourite on account of its commercials (Ethel Herman, the little old lady who “puts that shit on everything” is actually Jean Hamilton, a 90-yearold North Vancouver grandmother), Bermudez claims to be sticking with Sriracha as his go-to.

“I feel like Sriracha’s good,” he says. “It’s super cheap for a big thing of it, it keeps for a long time, and like it just is really flavourful. I like really spicy food so I’ll just pile it on but it still has some flavour kind of backing it up. That’s kind of my thing is that it’s cheap and tasty and spicy.”

TH B E E AT HE AT

× Emily McGratten

Three surefire tips for enjoying some spice without getting burned:

START MILD: Don’t be a hero and go straight for the habanero pepper. Instead, begin with something of a milder Scoville rating, such as a jalapeno, and gradually build up tolerance. Practice makes perfect.

TOO MUCH KICK: If a dish is overly spicy, it can often be toned down with simple ingredients found in any kitchen.

Sugar, honey, and ketchup work well to neutralize spice. Something acidic like lemon or lime juice will also help, as will the addition of porous vegetables like carrots or potatoes.

MILK, NOT WATER: To soothe a burning tongue, milk is always the best bet. Chili oil is not water soluble and therefore water will not dissolve the oil, unlike milk which can. Ice cream, yogurt, and other dairy products will also work well.

A+C

behind the mascot A LOOK INSIDE ONE OF THE CLAMMIEST CAREERS IN SPORTS Andy Rice × Arts + Culture Editor

serves as the mainstay -- they’re always going to be there, they’re always sort of going to be the face of the organization.”

The Canadians’ main mascot is Bob Brown Bear, named after a noted player and team builder of Vancouver’s baseball past. Three secondary mascots have also been introduced in recent years to serve as comic relief between innings. “They are Chef Wasabi, Mr. Kappa Maki, and Miss B.C. Roll,” says Holloway. “In the bottom of the third inning they race through the in-field and there’s a winner.” A quick search of “Vancouver Sushi Race” on YouTube is well worth the laughs.

Even for those without any experience inside a mascot costume, it isn’t hard to imagine that walking around in one might be a challenge, let alone running in an outdoor race. The outfits leave something to be desired in the areas of comfort and mobility, as many who have worn them will attest. “The better made to your body it is, the more comfortable you’re going to be,” explains Jones, “because no matter what you do you’re going to sweat a ton.”

A typical mascot costume is made of fabric and sculpted foam over an inner bodysuit with underpadding to make the character appear larger than life. The bigger the outfit, the heavier it can be -- and whenever something like fur or fleece is added, the heat-factor can go up significantly. “The Ravens costume was definitely more comfortable because it was less material,” he recalls. “It was neoprene and foam, basically; two layers of that.

The Grizz outfit, it was very detailed. It was just cumbersome and hot with that fur on top of that under-padding, so that was definitely more challenging because of the weight and the amount of costume that it actually was.”

Vision is another factor that must be taken into consideration. “You have to make the adjustments,” says Jones. “Your vision is usually curtailed by how far the mask is away from your face, so if you’ve got a mask that’s close to your eyes then your peripheral vision is great. For the couple of costumes that I wore for the Grizzlies and the Ravens, my vision was limited so you’ve got to move your head down and up just to see, which normally you wouldn’t have to do.”

Many teams, including the Vancouver Canadians, have a handler to assist their mascot with stairs and to look out for other safety concerns. “Bob is a big bear, and he’s got eyes basically in the front of his head,” explains Holloway. “He doesn’t have a tremendous amount of mobility and he can’t move around all that quickly so it’s important that we have at least one handler of Bob that basically makes sure that the people around Bob are safe and that Bob himself is safe.”

During his mascot days, Jones managed to navigate the court on his own, although he did have some help from time to time. “Doing the Grizzlies

Winger - the cross-eyed former mascot of the Vancouver Whitecaps, thrown from the nest in 2010 when the Whitecaps became a Major League Soccer franchise.

Titan the VooDoo Warrior - the face of the now-defunct Vancouver VooDoo roller hockey team. Tough as nails and scarier than a date with our grumpy toothless editor.

47 issue N o . 11

and Miga... whatever the hell they were supposed to be.

suit, that’s just the character, the persona that the mascot brings on.”

Blurring the lines between a mascot and the person within is another important part of the job, and keeping that mystique is something of a sacred bond between a team and their mascot actor. “In sports, for the most part, the thing that I’ve learned is that we never really talk about who’s in the suit,” explains Holloway. “Bob is a real bear. I know it sounds silly, we try to just sort of maintain that integrity.”

Jones agrees. “The golden rules of mascotting [are]: one, you don’t talk and two, you always want to be seen in the public fully dressed as that character. You take the head off, someone sees you, and it spoils the whole persona of the character, even for adults. And for kids, you don’t want to traumatize kids because they think you’re real.”

That means making arrangements in advance, coming up with an entrance and exit strategy, and changing in some pretty weird places. “I can’t just walk in with a big bag on my back because someone’s going to know that it’s me,” he says. “It takes some planning so you can keep that character persona 100 per cent.”

Still, Jones assures that all of the preparation and perspiration was 100 per cent worth it. “I got to go to Japan and perform in the Tokyo dome for the first NBA game played outside of North America, I got to go to the All-Star game, and then the memorable times where the Grizzlies won at home... just that electricity of being able to entertain the crowd and anything you do they’re totally into at the height of the energy.”

“You know you’re doing your job when people are laughing and enjoying themselves,” he adds.

“Every time you can make somebody laugh, that’s definitely a highlight.”

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Muk Muk - the trusty marmot sidekick of Vancouver’s official Olympic mascots Sumi, Quatchi

thing we had the Bear Pack, so it was a bunch of my buddies who would come down to the games and help me,” he says. “They watched my back.

You can’t see behind you so you can have people jumping on your back, you can have people doing stuff behind you that you can’t see and it’s just good to have another set of eyes.”

Such incidents are not uncommon in the industry. At the beginning of November, Marty the Marmot was tackled to the ice and dragged by an aggressive fan. The assault left the mascot for the Victoria Royals hockey team bruised and battered, but he returned to action a few days later amidst ongoing police investigation. The fan later apologized and made a charitable donation before charges were dropped.

“There’s always situations where you’re going to have some idiots that want to try and kick the mascot or beat up the mascot,” says Jones. “My first appearance actually was at [John Oliver Secondary School] on 41st and Fraser.... I did some dunks there and one kid came and jumped on my back, so that wasn’t cool. I wasn’t expecting it. I can’t remember if I fell to the ground or not. If you’re falling, you’re falling on your knees and your elbows, so if you don’t have any padding on that, that’s usually what hits the ground first.”

Jones recalls that one of his best methods of self-defense was the persona he created and maintained for his mascots. “I figured if I could be as cool a character as possible, you kind of earn the respect of people so they wouldn’t treat you like that regular dopey mascot where they figure they can just push you over and laugh at you.”

“You define your walk, your stature, the way you act, the things you do differently with each character,” he continues. “It was fun to learn and develop that and take it to another level where people could recognize that it’s not a person in the

×

HONOURABLE MENTIONS The Courier’s three picks for the best retired mascot:

× Cheryl Swan

the capilano courier

On game day, it’s not just the owner of a sports team who can be found pacing around the arena in an expensive custom suit. The mascot is probably just as well dressed, if not more - and is certainly sweating a lot harder.

In the Lower Mainland alone, teams from the minor leagues right up to professional organizations are represented by a diverse cast of mascots.

UBC has a thunderbird, Kwantlen has an eagle, the Canucks have Fin the whale, the BC Lions have Leo the lion, and the list goes on. Underneath all of that fleece and foam are actors who ultimately define the mascot’s persona. And while many continue to play into an ever-present stereotype of bumbling buffoonery, some have chosen to give their character an almost superhuman quality.

Trevor Jones is one of those people. During his tenure with the Vancouver Ravens of the NLL (National Lacrosse League) and the Vancouver Grizzlies of the NBA (National Basketball Association), the actor and stuntman pushed mascoting to new extremes with acrobatic stunts and slam dunks that had audiences in awe and players asking for pointers. He was even voted the NBA’s best mascot in 1996 after a performance at the All-Star game in Cleveland, Ohio.

“I just wanted to do stuff that people hadn’t seen or done before,” he says. “I started doing under the leg dunks, around the back dunks, around the back under the leg, 360s, 360 under the leg, you know, I was just trying to do combination stuff. I played basketball as a kid and I’m athletic so combining my gymnastics [training] with playing basketball and that ball-handling sort of flashy stuff took my mascoting to a different level.”

For many mascot actors including Jones, the job is a chance to tap into their cheeky side -often at the expense of total strangers. “I loved it because you could get away with anything,” he recalls. “You could grab someone’s popcorn and spill it on them and hopefully they’re going to think it’s funny, but if they don’t think it’s funny there’s probably about 15,000 other people that are going to think it’s funny.”

Crowd interaction is one of a mascot’s main roles, and many serve as the face of their team, beyond the scope of any player. For farm teams especially, a mascot is one of the only things that stays the same from season to season, as many of the fans’ favourite athletes are snatched and shuffled by their major league affiliates.

“Alluding back to our affiliate, the Toronto Blue Jays, we don’t have a lot of return players,” explains Jeff Holloway, community relations manager for the Vancouver Canadians baseball team. “We might have a handful every season... but the team changes so quickly and there’s so much turnover so we can never really market a player or say that we’ve got so and so. Minor league sports teams in general really need to have a mascot that sort of

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A+C

party at cap CONCERT WILL BRING SOCIABLE SOUNDS TO MAPLE BUILDING Carlo Javier × Staff Writer

× Ekaterina Aristova

the capilano courier

×

volume

47 issue N o . 11

Every day, the CSU lounge in the Maple Building plays host to foosball fanatics, pool sharks and a wide array of arts students. Concert goers, however, aren’t such a regular sight. That will all change on Nov. 27 when the Arts and Entertainment Management (AEM) program moves in to set the stage for a night of music, appropriately titled Concert in the Woods.

The show aims to save students from those dreaded “campus blues” as winter and final exams loom ever closer. Ironically enough, the event is somewhat of a final project for the AEM students themselves. “As part of the Arts and Entertainment Management Program, one of our assignments is to organize an event at school that’s called Campus Fun,” says Stone Friesen, the head organizer of Concert in the Woods. “Basically, this year’s group decided to throw a concert at the CSU building, and it’s going to feature some up-and-coming indie rock talent.”

One of the biggest challenges Friesen and his fellow AEM students faced while organizing the event was obtaining a liquor license. “There are certain hoops you have to jump through with ev-

8

erything, one being the work with getting a liquor license,” he explains. “That’s frustrating because in North Van, I guess they don’t review liquor licenses until 10 days before.”

Inevitably, any time organizers of an event at CapU work towards getting approval to serve liquor, talks regarding a campus bar seem to find their way into the mix. “There is definitely a need for a campus bar, someplace that can really bring a group of people together,” begins Friesen. “If we had good pub nights at a bar with an easily accessible location I feel like it would take a lot of the pressure away, and probably make meeting new pals on campus a lot easier.”

Another frequent hurdle faced by event organizers is the challenge of finding performers.

However, this wasn’t the case with Concert in the Woods. “[The bands] were really stoked, just [for] any chance to get played anywhere really,” he says.

It certainly can’t hurt that despite the concert being a student-driven, school-based initiative, the musicians will also be getting paid for their performances. “We’re giving them as much pay as we can, but you know we’re a school program so we’re

pretty cheap, but we’re doing what we can.”

Much of the marketing and advertising for the event has been done through social media. “We have our Facebook page, it’s Capilano Campus Fun and it’s going to be a central hub of sorts for all of the shows that we’re going to present as a program for the next [few] years,” says Friesen.

“We have our Twitter account, @loungeliveCapU, and from there, we’re getting some posters thrown up around school, and we’ll be selling some tickets at the cafeteria.”

Performing at Concert in the Woods will be two bands, Derrival and Smash Boom Pow, and a DJ set by Marcus James. The indie-rock group Derrival will make the long trip from their homes in Langley to headline the show. The band recently released their mini-album Youth Captured, and also played at the Squamish Valley Music Festival alongside bands like Vampire Weekend and Band of Horses.

Smash Boom Pow is a Vancouver-based rock duo, which consists of brothers Zane and Ulysses Coppard. Self-described as a “loud rock band,” the group is working on their debut album and is fin-

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ishing the music video for the lead single “A Girl”.

Finally, Marcus James, a CapU student, will shake up the show with his varying styles of dance music often built around the 128 bpm range.

Beyond its original purpose as a school project, Concert in the Woods can be looked at as a conscious attempt at bringing CapU students together. Social events on campus have often been criticized and viewed as boring due to the lack of activities that students can participate in, as well as the absence of a campus pub. “Although there seems to be a lot of really interesting people on campus, there isn't much mingling outside of our respective programs,” says Friesen. “I think a lot of people attend their classes and head home immediately after, mainly because there isn't much to do on campus.”

“It’s incredibly important to work towards making our campus more sociable,” he continues. “I feel like everyone is probably pretty friendly, but I think a lot of people feel the need to find some sort of icebreaker, which isn't always the easiest task.”

A+C

cultural christmas MARKETS OFFER TRADITIONAL GIFTS + ENTERTAINMENT Katherine Gillard × News Editor

× Kelsey Holden When it comes to Christmas presents, most will agree that opening them is the easy part. Instead, it’s often the stress of finding that special something for each of our loved ones that causes the greatest holiday hang up. Coming up with gift ideas that are both perfect and unique can be a challenge, but annual craft fairs and Christmas markets serve as new avenues for those willing to start their shopping a little early. In Vancouver, there are many available, although timing is key – some open as early as the first week of November and finish before Starbucks even has their decorations up.

Depending on the market one attends, different items are available, although there tends to be a range of cultural and hand-made items at each.

One of the most note-worthy holiday markets in the city is the Vancouver Christmas Market, which offers a traditional German marketplace as well as music, dancing, and even a carousel. The market imitates the traditional Christmas celebrations that were first popularized 500 years ago in various German cities and towns, regardless of their size. It was a way for people to come together to socialize, buy different items and be entertained.

Held for the first time in 2010, the Vancouver Christmas Market has grown steadily over the past few years, boasting over 160,000 visitors in 2012 alone. This year’s installment opened on Nov. 22 and will run daily until Dec. 24. Like the markets back in Germany, “it’s a mix between merchandise and food,” explains general manager, Nadine Schaefer. “It’s really important to have crafts there, so hand-made crafts which are unique from different regions and very typical [to Germany]. The food is very typical German as well, because it’s more the alpine food that you would imagine -hearty food items like pork knuckles and sausages and treats like waffles and baked apples and so on.

Seasonal treats.”

She adds, “Every booth is run individually, so that means we have… local vendors who want to be part of our tradition and we also have out-ofVancouver vendors coming in from Germany, the U.S.A, and other parts of Canada.”

Shopping locally can be important for many gift-seekers on their quest for special treats and unique items. A particularly good way to do this is to attend one of the dozens of craft fairs or Christmas bazaars put on by schools and churches, or to

venture into one of the agricultural areas outside of Greater Vancouver. The annual Christmas in Cloverdale marketplace runs in early December and is a guaranteed source for fresh, local goods.

For other holiday shoppers, it’s specialties from abroad that top their shopping list. The Vancouver Christmas Market not only offers a selection of toys and crafts from Germany, but traditional foods as well. And though they’re all prepared by local vendors, making them authentically is of great pride and importance. “This year, there are two new food products coming in,” says Schaefer.

“One is a German cakes vendor. He produces his cakes locally in Vancouver but they’re based on German recipes -- for example, the famous German Black Forest Cake, German cheesecakes and different Christmas cookies, which is a big tradition in Germany. He’ll have them all produced locally and fresh on the market.”

“There is another nice food product which is a very typical dish for Southwestern Germany, near to France where they have the wine regions,” she continues. “It’s the tarte flambée... an old fashioned-styled pizza, baked in a wood-fire oven.”

Aside from its obvious abundance of German

culture, the Vancouver Christmas Market will also be devoting several days to the celebration of other nations, such as Italian day, English day, and Austrian day. Traditional dancing, singing, and various other activities will take place, and a full list of dates and details will be posted on the market’s online calendar.

Also available online will be a list of the many performers and musical groups taking the stage at this year’s market. “We start with light entertainment at around 2 p.m. every weekday,” says Schaefer. Usually the start is with school choirs and then later on at night it goes a little bit more towards brass ensembles or jazz quartets, and we do holiday entertainment for the weekends.”

Vancouver Christmas Market runs from Nov. 22 to Dec. 24, between 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre Plaza, 650 Hamilton Street. Admission prices range from $3 to $6 depending on the day and time. For more details and information, readers may visit Vancouverchristmasmarket.com.

Additionally, a comprehensive list of Vancouver’s holiday markets and craft fairs can be found at Gotcraft. com/aroundtown.

Christmas At Hycroft Cost - $13 for adults, $5 for children 1489 McRae Avenue, Vancouver.

Nov. 21 to 24 from 11 am to 9 pm Sunday hours from 11 am to 6 pm

The University Women’s Club of Vancouver opens its doors to the public once a year for their annual craft sale, offering unique gifts as well as tour of the Hycroft House decked out in all its Christmas glory. Live entertainment, visits from Santa, local artisans, and an assortment of traditional treats will also be available.

47 issue N o . 11

Make It! Cost - $7 at the door, $5 online PNE Forum Nov. 28 and 29 from 10 am to 9 pm Nov. 30 from 10 am to 6 pm Dec. 1 from 11 am to 5 pm

This unique craft fair offers handmade items from over 250 different Canadian vendors. Make it! provides shopping carts, a licensed bar, and music to keep the event fun. It is a guaranteed source for the perfect ethically handmade gift.

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Tuck Shop : Holiday Edition Cost - $2 donation The Toast Collective- 648 Kingsway, Vancouver, Unceded Coast Salish Territories.

Nov. 23 from 5 pm to 10 pm Nov. 24 from 11 am to 4 pm

Local vendors come together at this night market, run by Done & Done Creative Events. The evening includes hand-made crafts as well as fancy gluten-free treats, preserves, oils, local wool, teas, and coffees. The market is both indoors and outdoors and offers great local crafts and foods.

×

Christmas In Cloverdale Cost - $ free Shannon Hall & The Alice McKay Building at the Cloverdale Fairgrounds Dec. 6 from 5 pm to 9 pm Dec. 7 from 10 am to 4 pm

With 100 tables of vendors, this market offers locally made crafts, baked goods, and more. Santa will be there to visit the kids as well, along with magic and balloon animals. Cans will be collected for the Surrey Food Bank.

the capilano courier

MORE HOLIDAY HANGOUTS

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FEATURES

FEATURES EDITOR ×

THERESE GUIEB

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S . C A P C O U R I E R @ G M A I L . C O M

a revolutionary currency HOW BITCOIN IS CHANGING THE FINANCIAL MARKET

× Vivian Liu

Lindsay Howe

the capilano courier

×

volume

47 issue N o . 11

× Web Editor, Marketing + Ads Manager

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A fast-growing payment system used worldwide is now making its mark in Vancouver. Bitcoin, a digital money system, opened its first ATM in Vancouver at the end of October. The machine allows users to convert their Canadian dollars into Bitcoins and to cash out digital funds back to Canadian money. With a long list of businesses accepting the coin, some are wondering if the digital currency could be the future of how we make transactions and investments in the future.

Bitcoin is a type of “crypto-currency” — a concept first introduced in 1998 that uses cryptography. This process protects information by converting it into an indecipherable format in order to regulate the production and processed transactions using bitcoin. The versatility of the bitcoin is one of the reasons why some people think the possibilities of its use are extensive. “Bitcoin is not necessarily a form of online payment. It is a whole new form of currency completely. Much like USD, you can use it to pay for things online and offline. You can transfer it to other accounts. You can hold on to it or use it to invest,” says Justin Dupre, owner of BitcoinBlogger.com.

The creation of new bitcoins occur through a process called “bitcoin mining”, where individuals receive compensation from the bitcoin network for their assistance. These “bitcoin miners” are dealing with transactions whilst working to secure the network and are receiving new bitcoins for doing so. A unique factor of the bitcoin currency is that no one actually owns the bitcoin network, as the network is controlled by the users of the currency.

“It isn’t based on the dollar, the Yuan, the Yen, the Euro, or any other national currency,” says Austin Craig, creator of Lifeonbitcoin.com. “It isn’t issued by any bank or government. It is based on an open source piece of software, using the same

cryptography techniques used by the military and your email provider. It is fundamentally a different implementation of currency than has ever existed.”

GETTING FAMILIAR While Bitcoin has created a reputation for itself in the online world, an increasing number of businesses are accepting the currency in store. Dupre notes that he has seen everything from Lamborghinis and houses to restaurant meals and plane tickets purchased using Bitcoin, proving that Bitcoin is flourishing offline as well.

Bitcoin is a relatively new payment system. People are already saving money and are most likely making money just by using the currency. “Unlike PayPal or other money transfer services, transaction fees are low, if non-existent,” says Dupre. “If I needed to get $10,000 from a client through PayPal, PayPal would take nearly $300, even more if they were sending to me in a different currency.

For the same amount in bitcoins, the transaction fee would most likely be equivalent to pennies, if anything at all.” Bitcoins have also recently gained popularity as a type of investment.

“Right now, many people are buying Bitcoin for speculative reasons. They hope it will grow in USD or local currency value, and it has. We’ve seen explosive growth the past couple weeks thanks to an increasing awareness internationally in China,” explains Dupre.

With a long list of advantages, there are some points of concern people need to be aware of before converting their life savings into Bitcoin.

While more and more businesses are accepting the coin every day, there are still many businesses that do not. This means, if you’re converting your cash into Bitcoin solely to make online and in-

store purchases, checking with the merchant in advance to ensure they accept the coin will avoid any disappointment. Another factor to consider is that Bitcoin is a new currency, meaning that the bitcoin software is still under construction and has some features that are incomplete. New details and services are currently being created to ensure the security and accessibility of Bitcoin. Bitcoin is currently the leading digital currency. However, another digital currency could be invented in the future and take the place of Bitcoin.

WITNESSING BITCOIN FIRSTHAND For businesses looking to expand their payment options, Bitcoin is a useful tool to attract clientele who may not have access to other types of payment methods. “Bitcoin allows unbanked people across the globe who don’t have credit cards or PayPal to contribute to the global economy,” says Jackson Warren, co-founder of the Bitcoin Store Bitcoiniacs. “I thought that giving my customers the option [would be] increasing the desirability of my store, my online store, and the acceptability of bitcoin itself,” says Bill Finley of Hemp and Company, a clothing and body care company. “We only recently started accepting them. We had a couple of transactions in the store. We had some difficulties in having them as a currency for our online store in the beginning. Now that it is sorted out, we have had an uptick in the utilizing of Bitcoin,” adds Finley.

Jason Tyra, an accountant who runs a small accounting firm, also began accepting bitcoin as a method of payment for the acceptability of the coin and because he believes in the concept. “I started working with bitcoin because I believe there is a demand among business owners who

accept it for accounting and tax preparation services,” says Tyra. He believes there are clients who actively seek merchants who accept Bitcoin, and while he is now one of them, he doesn’t plan on taking on any chances with it. “I convert them to cash as soon as I receive them, I believe in Bitcoin, but not enough to risk taking a loss on it,” adds Tyra.

A recent bust of a web-based drug business called Silk Road has shed a somewhat negative light on Bitcoin, as it was used to buy and sell drugs on the site, allowing both parties to maintain a high degree of anonymity. While Bitcoin may have been exchanged on the illegal site, Craig maintains that Bitcoin is relatively safe to use. “I don’t have security concerns about the Bitcoin protocol. Just like the early days of e-commerce, people should proceed with caution and realize that the ecosystem to support Bitcoin is still developing,” says Craig.

It will take time for people to become accustomed to using the currency, just as it took time for some to adjust to the idea of making purchases online, or enrolling in online banking services.

“But mark my words, nothing will ever be the same after Bitcoin,” adds Craig.

While the future of Bitcoin remains unknown, Craig believes that at least some type of cryptocurrency will be here to stay. “I think Bitcoin, and crypto-currency in general, will change the world of finance, both on a global scale and on an individual scale,” he says. “I believe within a decade, we will see smaller nations issuing crypto-currency as their national currency. I believe crypto-currency poses an existential threat to conventional money creation and central banking.”

arts Shorts

ART SHORTS EDITOR ×

KRISTI ALEXANDRA

fumbling ballet

toro y moi

QE THEATRE, NOV. 14

VOGUE, NOV. 10

Kristi Alexandra × Copy Editor Those familiar with Canadian-born songstress Sarah McLachlan’s body of work wouldn’t argue that the singer’s third studio album, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, so poignantly illustrates the trajectory of woman who’s come of age. With themes of innocence, sexuality, heartbreak, and enlightenment, the album is a stunning audial representation of a woman’s journey from youth to adulthood, hitting every chord in between. Alberta Ballet’s production of Fumbling Towards Ecstasy echoes that of its subject – it is raw, ground-breaking, and yearning for its hard work to come to fruition. And has it ever. Thursday’s opening night of the modern production had Vancouverites in awe, as the dancers of the Alberta Ballet had the Queen Elizabeth Theatre filled to the brim – with none other than the Lilith Fair founder herself among its attendees.

The ballet eloquently told Fumbling’s story, opening with the stunning but lighthearted “Overture” and “Hold On”. A full-cast of dancers clad in nude-toned underwear seemed to represent the unmarked innocence and purity of youth, as Kori Empson starred as the young girl flipping through the pages of an oversized book – a lovely metaphor for the beginning of the songstress’s journey.

Dancers dropped off a few at a time, with fewer and fewer dancers starring in following songs like “Drawn to the Rhythm” and “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy”, while hippie-tribal patterns reminiscent of the singer’s ‘90s Lilith Fair days were projected in the background. Where the stage became more spare is where the production highlighted the staggering beauty of the album, especially when dancers Nicole Caron and Jaciel Gomez stole the audience’s attention during pieces “Bring on the Wonder” and “Vox”. A hyper-sexualized version of “Ice” visualized the jarring pain of first heartbreak.

The dancers’ accuracy beautifully articulated McLachlan’s ballad, bringing crowd members to tears just before intermission. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy kicked back up with “Into the Fire”, reintroducing more dancers as the production began to reach towards enlightenment. An exalting version of “Good Enough” preceded “Building a Mystery”, and “Ice Cream” which sported a few cheese-y background visuals and some overly cutesy motifs—including one dancer dressed as an ice-cream cone and a push for a crowd sing-a-long.

In the end, “Angel” brought the performance to a close, earning a standing ovation. And it couldn’t be argued that Alberta Ballet’s interpretation of Vancouverite Sarah McLachlan’s Fumbling Towards Ecstasy was anything less than poignant.

Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief Toro Y Moi brought his chill indie-pop style and notorious afro to Vancouver on Nov. 10. Backed by four guys that all bore some resemblance to Jesus, he took the stage at the Vogue close to 11 p.m., and played an hour set to the anxious crowd.

He serenaded the audience with his hypnotic songs from his new album Anything in Return.

The only problem was for people who are not avid Toro fans, such as myself. The songs melded together and it was difficult to decipher one song from the next. The intros to every song sound like “I’m Not in Love” by 10CC, which, by the way, is a fabulous song. With every intro I had hoped Toro Y Moi was going to cover one of my favor-

COPY@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

ite break-up songs, and was disheartened when it inevitably morphed into something else. Most of the crowd didn’t seem to share my concerns and cheered him on while swaying to every song. It was a good show to share with a lover, or a onenight stand, as the guy in the next seat reminded me. The highlight of the evening was the opening act, Classix, a DJ duo from L.A. They massaged the crowd with some interesting remixes. The best part about their act was not only the music, but the fact that they just looked like they were having so much fun playing for us. And, it has to be said; they looked really effing cute while doing so.

While I left the show slightly disappointed in Chazwick Bundick (aka Toro Y Moi), I also left with Classix album Hanging Garden, and two new crushes on the guys from Classix.

Fugitives "EVERYTHING WILL HAPPEN" Andy Rice × Arts + Culture Editor Adrian Glynn and Brendan McLeod comprise the core of The Fugitives, a Vancouver-based indiefolk collective perhaps best described by McLeod himself as “...like Broken Social Scene. But acoustic, and way less famous.” While fugitives tend to be rather evasive folks by nature, a few things are revealed about the duo by their record alone.

Glynn and McLeod’s lyrics give them away as poets, their charisma gives them away as actors, and their songwriting gives them away as composers.

Of all the talents these two have, rest assured that nearly everything will happen on their newest record, aptly titled Everything Will Happen -- and they don’t seem to be running away from any of it.

The band’s coastal influence is ever-present, which adds a refreshing touch of Canadiana to a sound

that might otherwise draw initial comparisons to Mumford and Sons from the casual listener. More mature sounding and with a large helping of experimental and bluegrass-inspired moments in their music, The Fugitives are entirely their own thing -- more like Mumford and Bearded Hippie Fisherman Nephew though, if we really must go there. Each of the album’s 11 tracks are honest, sincere, and made with love. “Love Affairs” and “Bigger Than Luck” are highlights, both lyrically and musically, nestled among a sturdy handful of other great compositions. The record has a definite live feel throughout, and while that does mean that the band’s playing tends to come off as a little rough around the edges at times, anything studio-perfect likely wouldn’t suit the music quite the same. The Fugitives will be in Vancouver on Nov. 28 for a show at the Biltmore, supported by their current cross-Canada tour-mates, White Ash Falls.

diane coffee Faye Alexander × Opinions Editor

× volume

47 issue N o . 11

× Leah Scheitel

Shawn Fleming set down his Foxygen drumsticks in California and travelled east bound to New York City – there marked the birth of Diane Coffee. The debut album My Friend Fish was both written and recorded over an influenza-plagued two weeks in the big apple, before the rest of the band had even signed on. Using an iPhone voice memo app to create dizzying vocals and with only half a drum kit available for the majority of the 10-track album, Diane Coffee is a perfect example of DIY creativity that can trick you into hearing high production value. It's a full blown trip of ‘60s sounding psych pop with the array of songs pulling from an equally diverse range of genres. Doowop feelings soar through “Green”, while gospel and organs wail on opening track “Hymm”. Flem-

ing's vocals are tailored to each song, displaying his ability to transform his voice from one reminiscent of a teen idol to that of a psychedelic flip-out. The lyrical content flows from neurotic in “That stupid girl who runs too much”, to claustrophobic in “Never Lonely”, and peaks of pure optimism in “All the young girls”. Fleming has got a little Bowie going on, some major Beatles flourishings at the end of his catchy phrases, My Friend Fish is a total time warp. Diane Coffee has also exclusively released non-album track “Gov T”, which sounds like a modern day “Spirit in the Sky” – you guys know that song, right? – and it sounds like a bad trip gone tragically good. Inspired by governmental systems and politics, Fleming continues to craft provocative tunes. Inspired by the gong-show that is New York City, My Friend Fish is a perfect companion for a sardonic afternoon.

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"MY FRIEND FISH"

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FEATURES

FEATURES EDITOR ×

THERESE GUIEB

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S . C A P C O U R I E R @ G M A I L . C O M

THE TROPICAL ARCTIC

× Jackson Butchart

HOW CLIMATE CHANGE IS RE-ARRANGING THE NORTH

Leah Scheitel

the capilano courier

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47 issue N o . 11

× Editor - in - Chief

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Climate change is not a new concept. For the past two decades, multiple warnings have been issued about the consequences of global warming and the detrimental effects it will have on some of the more fragile eco-systems, the Canadian Arctic being one of them. Instead of just being warned about the dangers, we are beginning to see some of the effects of the melting North, which will bring new challenges and a few token benefits along with it.

“In Canada, the Arctic regions are areas that are experiencing the impacts of climate change more than other areas in Canada,” Cheryl Schreader explains, a geography professor at Capilano University. She says that because of the ice and cold temperatures of the Arctic, even the smallest changes are having large effects. “Really small changes that occur have large impacts on ice. [Ice] reflects a lot of the sun’s radiation, as soon as it begins to melt, and exposes bare ground, then that bare ground absorbs more radiation. It enhances the heating.

It’s called a positive feedback. Not positive as in good, but positive as in amplified.”

With positive feedback, the ice along the shorelines are melting and exposing land to the hazards of the sea, such as surging tides and coastal erosion. “In the Beaufort sea area, they have noticed a lot bigger waves coming in and impacting the shore line, because they don’t have the protective cover of the sea ice anymore,” notes Schreader.

These changes are forcing some of the Northern communities to look at moving parts of their communities. Schreader says that the residents of

Tuktoyaktuk are contemplating moving their ceremonial and burial sites to protect them from the changing shorelines.

“There are some communities, for example in Alaska, Shishmaref Alaska – that community is looking to relocate because of rising sea levels and coastal erosion mostly at this point. I don’t think a community like Tuktoyaktuk has really talked about moving some residents that are closer to the coast to another location, but they are not really moving to another community or to another city. They are looking at moving some of their settlement areas away from the coast. It has a lot of practical implications,” she explains. Moving coastal communities has a magnitude of impacts, including social, cultural, and economic, along with environmental.

Climate change is going to affect more than just the environment, and the dangers facing these coastal communities are the first examples of that.

“The other thing, apart from sea ice dynamics changing is that permafrost is melting, so the stability of their landscapes is really changing. And so, you think of infrastructure like roadways and houses and their permanence on the landscape.

Many of them are built up a little bit from the landscape to allow permafrost to melt a little bit in the summer without the houses collapsing, but there are still a lot of houses that are impacted by shifting grounds and roads,” says Schreader.

Cameron Dueck is a journalist, author, and explorer who captained an expedition of the Arctic

in 2009. This opportunity allowed him to experience the culture of the Northern community first-hand. “I think the fact that we were braving natural elements that they live with on a daily basis helped generate a bit of mutual respect. They were pleased that we were asking questions and really wanted to know how life was changing for them.

Many families took us in and offered us food, lodging, laundry services, showers, transport, advice, contacts, etc. We could not have asked for more welcoming hosts, and in turn I hope I did justice to the stories they told us,” Dueck explains.

Dueck wrote a book titled The New Northwest Passage, chronicling his time spent on the Silent Sound, a 40-foot cutter rig sloop. Dueck along with three other shipmates left the Victoria harbor on June 6, 2009 and sailed into Halifax on Oct. 10, spending exactly four months and four days at sea, and sailing over 8,000 nautical miles.

“I've travelled a lot, by land and sea, and the Arctic is without a doubt one of the most special places I've been,” Dueck says about his time up North. “The light, the sea, the wildlife, the ice, the people…they are all very unique. But they're hard to access and experience in a meaningful way.

Going north as a tourist on a cruise ship isn't really experiencing the Arctic in my view, this is a place where you have to feel some of the danger, some of the exposure and the delicate balance of life in order to really appreciate.”

Embarking on this journey, which he started curating in 2007, allowed him to see the impacts of a

changing climate on the fragile eco-system. “This was my first and only time above the Arctic Circle, so I did not see change, but I saw impact, and the people that I met told me about the changes they are seeing. There are some very obvious changes that are weather related, from collapsing land due to loss of permafrost to changes in migratory patterns of wildlife to more dangerous ice conditions.”

THE OPENING OF THE PASSAGE The history of the Northwest Passage is rich with British and Canadian culture. Explorers have been venturing to the frozen land since the 16th century, but it wasn’t until the late 1700s that much progress was made. One failed expedition in particular may be able to resolve the sovereignty issues. Captain John Franklin’s expedition of 1845 was doomed, and he went down with 128 men and two ships near William Island. The ships have never been found, and over a century and a half later, the Canadian government, along with other interested parties, is still searching for the ships.

The most recent expedition was in August 2013, led by Parks Canada. According to CBC, although they were unsuccessful in finding the wreckage, they did find human bones and other artifacts, which bring optimism to Parks Canada.

"We have a very good idea of what we’re looking for and it will be fairly clear if and when we come across the remains of either vessel," Ryan Harris,

Parks Canada's senior underwater archaeologist, told CBC News.

The Northwest Passage has a mystic allure similar to that of Mount Everest. In fact, more people have successfully summited the world’s largest mountain than have sailed through the Canadian Arctic. But that number could quickly rise with the melting of the passage. On Sept. 17, the Danish-owned cargo ship, the Nordic Orion left Vancouver, packed with 15,000 tonnes of coal.

It successfully maneuvered its way through the Northwest Passage and docked in the Port of Pori in Finland on Oct. 9. It is known to be the second cargo ship to use the Northwest Passage as a trading route. But as Michael Bryers, an international law expert from UBC said in an interview with Maclean’s, “I don’t celebrate the opening of the Northwest Passage to shipping because it does raise enormous challenges to Canada and for countries around the world in terms of dealing with climate change and its consequences.”

One of the issues Canada faces is losing some of the sovereignty it’s always had over the North.

A government report titled Canadian Arctic Sovereignty outlined some of the growing concerns the government faces about the Arctic. Penned

by Matthew Carnaghan and Allison Goody, the report cites climate change being the main cause behind these rising concerns.

“Other countries, including the United States, Russia, Denmark, Japan, and Norway, as well as the European Union, have expressed increasing interest in the region and differing claims in relation to international law. In particular, many observers believe that the Northwest Passage, the shipping route through Canada’s Arctic waters, will be open to increased shipping activity in the coming decades as the ice melts. Canada’s assertion that the Northwest Passage represents internal [territorial] waters has been challenged by other countries, in-

cluding the United States, which argue that these waters constitute an international strait,” reads the introduction. But the government has recognized the importance of the Arctic and in 2007 Prime Minister Stephen Harper made it clear that he was willing to defend Canada’s sovereignty.

“Canada has a choice when it comes to defending our sovereignty over the Arctic. We either use it or lose it. And make no mistake, this government intends to use it. Because Canada’s Arctic is central to our national identity as a northern nation. It is part of our history. And it represents the tremendous potential of our future,” declared Harper.

CLIMATE CHANGE COVER-UP Some experts are pushing the potential benefits to offset the detriments of climate change. While there are a few, Schreader says that they will not outweigh the cons of climate change. “When we are talking about the North I think our tendency when we try to talk about positive and be optimistic, a lot of people don’t have a firm knowledge about northern environments,” she says. “For example, I’ve read some ideas that while if the Arctic is warmer and the permafrost is melting perhaps we can start agriculture up there, but the soils in the North don’t promote agriculture. What does agriculture look like in the North? What would it be – just green houses?”

Economists cite that the melting Arctic would make it possible to drill for oil. It is estimated that the Arctic contains about 20 per cent of the world’s oil reserves. But, as Schreader explains, that could be counter intuitive to the problem, and only perpetuating the causes of climate change to begin with.

“If permafrost thaws and the water is not being frozen access to resources such as oil and gas, does Canada really want to go that route? From a cli-

mate change perspective, from an environmental sustainability perspective, do we want to extract more oil and gas, do we want to change the focus and look at a more diversified energy economy?

We are already going through that with the Athabasca oil sands. Sure that’s a possibility but is that a perceived benefit?” she asks. “Certainly there would be a wide range of opinions around that.

I’ve seen some articles called the New North, and that there are all these great new opportunities, but I think that it’s opportunistic sometimes, and that a lot of those ideas are not informed by reality about up there.”

One of the benefits often cited is using the Northwest Passage as a potential trading route, allowing cargo ships to travel the waters freely.

However, a hazardous effect from that plan is exposing remote communities to the tribulations of being along a major trading route. “People talking about diminishing sea ice and finally an opening of the Northwest Passage and year round shipping lanes, and things like that, that’s a perceived benefit but what also comes with that is you’re opening a coastline to shipping and what does that mean to those northern communities – social impacts, environmental impacts,” says Schreader.

Dueck, who believes that while there may be benefits to the passage being open, they are hard to define right now, echoes this sentiment. “I would not describe cost savings for shipping and oil companies as benefits in this sense, although many do see that as the main benefit. I imagine that shipping could aid the communities, but it will also bring dangers and socio-economic changes that must be managed with the advice of the people being impacted,” he says. “Given my experience of sailing the passage, I struggle to see how it can become a viable commercial route for many more years, given the shallow waters, unpredictable conditions, and lack of support, but I have

no doubt that with enough time and engineering, shipping companies can benefit from it. One thing I learned, in regards to oil exploration in the Arctic is that Northerners do not view these situations in the same way we do in the South, eager to protect them and their land, view them. Money, jobs, pride, independence, self-rule and changing lifestyles mean that the considerations are much more complicated. I'm sure it will be the same case in terms of Arctic shipping.”

Although it is unclear as to what the future holds for the Arctic areas, the problems that these areas face are creating a strong impact to society.

Rapidity of change is a topic that economists and scientists argue over. An article in the Globe and Mail by John Higginbotham argues that environmentalists need to relax about the changes because they will not happen overnight. “Change will be slow, even if we act sensibly and in good time. So environmentalists should take a Prozac, developers should be patient and prudent,” wrote Higginbotham.

But this is a mindset that Cheryl Schreader doesn’t agree with. “I don’t think that we can afford to relax, because we have already set this ball in motion. We’ve initiated dynamics in the atmosphere from land-use change and activities that contribute greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

I don’t think that we can relax on trying to mitigate climate change,” she explains. “If we don’t keep trying to educate and raise awareness about the environmental impacts, then we won’t be prepared.

There will be nothing at the mitigation end and we won’t be prepared at the adaptation end.”

While experts may argue about the potential benefits and rapidity of change, one thing stands clear – the changes are beginning to affect more than just the polar bears.

"The Northwest Passage has a mystic allure similar to that of Mount Everest.

In fact, more people have successfully summited the world’s largest mountain than have sailed through the Canadian Arctic."

ON the Cover

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47 issue N o . 11

Jackson Butchart graduated from Emily Carr University's Art and Design program in 2010, and is currently enrolled in BCIT's graphic design program. Some of his favourite things include sharks, the colour green, lasagna, and our Opinions Editor. We like what he likes.

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Jackson Butchart

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Girl Rising

Say Wha?!

Del the Funky Homosapien

Encounter

CSU Library Lounge 11 am to 1 pm $ - free

Little Mountain Gallery 8 pm $10

The Commodore Ballroom 9:30 pm $28.50

Orpheum Annex 8 pm $20

In a rare – or perhaps not-so-rare moment – here’s a free event at CapU. A screening in the Library Lounge is a viewing of the film Girl Rising – a film about the power of storytelling to drive change.

Hey CSU, thanks for updating your calendar!

Cory Haas, Devon Busswood, Jill Raymond, Julie Casselman and Erik Gow re-deliver some of the world’s worst musical theatre songs, diving deep into the history of awful plays and pulling out the worst, most offensive and down-right terrible songs. You’ll laugh, cry, and possibly even walk out before the show’s over.

Del the Funky Homosapien is the refreshingly non-gangster answer to West Coast rap. The hip-hip extraordinaire – also the cousin of very gangsta rapper and sometimes movie star Ice Cube – brings four albums worth of material to Vancouver. He might even voice his preference for dark-skinned girls.

The Vancouver Inter-Cultural Orchestra, sarangi player Dhruba Ghosh, shakuhachi player Harrie Starreveld, kamanche player Reza Honari, and tabla player Niel Golden use improvisational structures to explore the ragas and modes of Indian, Japanese, and Persian musical traditions.

North Korean Refugees

Stories & the power in Sport

Balkan Beatbox

Sensible BC

CSU Library Lounge 3:00 pm to 5:30 pm $10 suggested donation

The Cottage Bistro 6 pm to 9 pm $ - free

Venue 8:30 pm $25

CSU Library Lounge 11:30 am to 1 pm $ - free

Here’s a screening and discussion on North Korean refugees in China. If you have some free time around this block, we suggest you attend this – considering the secrecy of North Korean concentration camps is one of the hugest human rights violations of our time and one of the biggest news stories of 2013.

Come hear from people who share our conviction about sport - they are living proof!

They will share their transforming experiences in sport and how sport shaped them and contributed to who they are today.

American-Israeli musical group plays Mediterranean-influenced music that incorporates Balkan and Middle Eastern traditions, Gypsy punk, and electronica. The baklava-lovin’ nomads roll through Vancouver in support of their latest release, Give.

Sensible BC calls upon the B.C. government to pass the Sensible Policing Act, which will stop police from searching or arresting otherwise lawabiding citizens for possession of marijuana. Also demanding the federal government repeal marijuana prohibition, and figure out the rules needed for a legal marijuana system in B.C.

Chowder Chowdown

Exile Island

Improv Against Humanity

Big Freedia

Vancouver Aquarium 7 pm $56+

Richmond Olympic Oval All Day $ - by donation

The Rio Theatre 8 pm $9 at the door, and $6 in advance

The Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $17

Chefs compete head-to-head in Vancouver for the title of 2013 Ocean Wise Chowder Chowdown Champion in each city. Taste delectable original chowders, paired with local craft beer, and vote for your favourite, all in support of sustainable seafood. This is probably David Suzuki approved, but you should call him just in case.

Modeled after the popular television show “Survivor”, tribes will be exiled to the Richmond Olympic Oval to compete in a series of mental, physical, creative and strategic challenges, battling head-tohead. Each tribe will be paired with a local Wish Child who will cheer them on and inspire competitors to raise funds to create the magic of a wish!

The Fictionals present an interactive improv show based on the phenomenon that is cards against humanity. Because, admit it, you do want to be called up on stage to match the card “Out of batteries, so now I’m stuck masturbating with _____,” with “Grandpa’s Ashes.”

Big Freedia is at the forefront of the “bounce rap” movement – a subgenre of hip-hop born out of New Orleans, known for its call-and-response style and lightning-speed booty-shaking. She takes the stage with her Divas at the Biltmore Cabaret for a show you’d be hard-up to miss.

Stuck In The Middle With You

Raincoast Creative Salon

Anonymous Art Show

Santaland Diaries

SFU Harbour Center 7 pm to 8:30 pm $ - free

Lost & Found Café 7 pm to 10 pm $10

CityScape Community Art Space 8 pm $39

Arts Club Theatre Revue Stage 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm $10

Dr. Bidisha Ray, who recently moved to Vancouver after graduate studies in the United Kingdom, presently works as an assistant professor in South Asian history at Simon Fraser University, tells the story of India’s transgendered Hijra community in this drop-in only, free to the public discussion.

Brooklyn filmmaker Jen Lee explores the possibility and potential of creative collaboration as 10 independent artists share stories and insights about creating their own paths, finding others with similar passions, and the surprising benefits of working together. Admission includes drinks and appetizers.

The Anonymous Art Show is an annual group exhibition and fundraising event that includes twodimensional artwork by established and emerging artists on unframed 8” x 8” x 1.5” canvas and wood panel. Each piece is $100, and you won’t find out who the artist is until after you’ve purchased your lot.

It’s opening night for David Sedaris’ merrily wicked tale of his tour of duty as an elf at Macy’s Santaland. From posts as Vomit Corner Elf to Water Cooler Elf to Cash Register Elf, Sedaris worked his way up the candy-cane ladder and lived to share his hysterical, behind-the-scenes anecdotes.

Blitzen Trapper

Star Wars: A Nude Hope

Music From Tim Burton’s Movies

Vancouver Christmas Market

The Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $20

The Rio Theatre 7 pm $20

Orpheum Theatre 8 pm $31+

Queen Elizabeth Theatre Plaza 11 am to 9pm $6

Vancouver loves its alt-country, so when Blitzen Trapper comes waltzing through the doors of the Biltmore Cabaret, don’t be surprised if flannelclad, toque-wearing North Westerners follow in suit. The band plays in support of their latest release, VII.

A burlesque reimagining of Star Wars, enter a galaxy a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away with a cast of 25 all-star nerdlesque performers. “A Nude Hope” will be a memorable, sexy, nerd-herding night for geeks of all types. For some of you, this may be the first and last time you see someone almost completely naked.

John Mauceri conducts boy soprano Noah Skarsgard and the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra in a program of Danny Elfman scores from films such as Batman, Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Alice in Wonderland, and Beetle Juice.

Filled with the old-world charm of traditional German Christmas markets, the fourth annual Vancouver Christmas Market offers unique gifts, handcrafted ornaments, live music, sweet and savoury snacks, and over 45 exhibitors in wooden huts decorated in thousands of twinkling lights.

Steve Aoki, Waka Flocka, BORGORE

MEC Snowfest Vancouver

CandyTown In Yaletown

Tree Light Festival

Thunderbird Sports Centre 7 pm $41/56+

MEC Vancouver 10 am to 3 pm $ - free

Mainland Street 12 pm to 9 pm $ - free

Central City 12 pm to 8 pm $ - free

Bitches love cake… and punk-rap, and maybe a little EDM. Miami-born DJ Steve Aoki comes to the Thunderbird Sports Centre with “Bitches Love Cake” singer Borgore, to tell us bitches exactly what we like. Actually, I would like to tell Steve Aoki and Borgore what I, in fact, do like – equality. And cheaper concert tickets.

Hey snow bunnies – get in on tons of great deals at MEC’s legendary Snow Swap, some sweet prize giveaways, and informative clinics from some of the best minds in the snowboarding industry. Activities all-day long - totally, brah.

This free outdoor winter festival offers fun in one of the city’s most unique shopping and dining destinations as the heritage district transforms into a winter wonderland. Including horse-drawn carriage rides, Christmas arts and crafts, and plenty of sweet treats.

A 55-foot tree will be lit after dark, and after a day of road hockey, Ferris wheels, food trucks, Storyville, photos with Santa, ice carving, and more.

Entertainers include Dr. Strangelove, Good for Grapes and Victoria Duffield. You’re encouraged to bring a can of food for the Surrey Food Bank or a donation for the Surrey Christmas Bureau.

Aaron Carter

Lunch at The Temple

Rookie Night

Karaoke Night

Fortune Sound Club 9 pm $12

Shree Mahalakshmi Temple 2 pm $ - by donation

Vancouver TheatreSports League 7:30 pm $8

Simply Delicious 8 pm $ - free

Get your “crazy little party girl” on and head to Fortune Sound Club to revel in the washedup celebrity of the youngest Carter. Remember when MTV hosted the awful reality show that was House of Carters? Yeah, us neither. But we do remember that baby Aaron may have had a bit of an affinity for alcohol. With tickets this cheap, he probably needs a drink or two bought for him.

Every Sunday, the people of Shree Mahalakshmi Temple offer free (or by donation), delicious Indian food. Keep up the good karma by following these simple rules: wash your hands at the door, smile, say thank you to everyone, say yes please or no thank you when offered more, and don’t be a jerk and donate in the little wooden box stuck to the wall by the door you came in.

Vancouver TheatreSports League’s Rookie Night puts up and coming improvisers to the test in front of a hungry crowd. Many rookies have moved on to be the next big thing in the North American entertainment scene. Bring a couple of friends and cheer on the stars of tomorrow!

My personal favourite sushi restaurant and bar hosts karaoke on Sunday evenings. Even if you’re too lily-livered to get up and sing, the food here is great and cheap, and there’s always a good $3 drink special. That should be good for some liquid courage.

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Saturday 23

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Sunday 24

Columns

COLUMNS EDITOR

× LEAH SCHEITEL

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Gastronome's dilemma THE APPEAL OF THE MARKET PLACE

× Jocelyn Wong

Scott Moraes × Columnist

For more information on local CSA programs, visit Farmfolkcityfolk.ca

47 issue N o . 11

house hiding by Capilano Mall. Loutet farm had farm gate sales through the spring and summer, and the Artisan butchers at Sebastian and Co. in West Vancouver deliver exceptional service and products. These places will almost always charge a higher price than your average supermarket – but ask yourself why, and then ask yourself if that reason is legitimate or not.

While spreading out my shopping outing rather than going to a one-stop shop costs me a lot more time and money, it feels right. I still go to the supermarket, a lot more often than I wish. It's convenient, fast, and despite their shortcomings, there are fairly decent supermarkets out there. They're necessary, but should be the exception, not the rule.

It's not at all a simple question of good and evil, or right and wrong. The bottom line is that stalling the downward trends set about in our food system will take a bit more than wishful thinking. It will take expressing our wishes as consumers, vocally, with our feet and with our money. Where we go, who we buy from, and who we choose to boycott are vital expressions of our will to change.

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markets are popping up and growing fast, even in big-box America, and community-supported agriculture (CSA) programs are also expanding. In forward-thinking U.S. states, like Oregon and Vermont, some communities have rejected capitalist pricing systems and have come up with alternative currencies, and some have even opted for a take on the age-old barter system, exchanging items of mutually agreed-upon “equal” worth.

Even those trapped in tight urban cultures have found ways to rebel. The smartphone app Buycott allows users to scan barcodes at the supermarket and be told whether or not a particular product conflicts with any campaigns you might want to join – say, human rights or anti-GMO. While this is particularly progressive in that it allows the unveiling of information not present on the labels, overcautious users will surely find themselves with very narrow choices (maybe a sign to go elsewhere). Also, most produce has no barcodes at all.

We may have been pressed into a certain mold by our cultural institutions – we've been made to be individualistic consumers, without much sense of belonging to a community. But we are social creatures at heart, and that mold just can't hold us.

Look for soulful markets and the little hidden gems wherever you live. On the North Shore, for example, I've found Tama Organics, a very small produce place and traditional Japanese noodle

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On a recent trip south of the border, something caught my eye: a massive truck read the words Amazon Fresh. I'm not an online ordering hater by any means, but something about the concept of ordering fresh food online struck me as bizarre, and at the same time I was terrified that this system might expand and become the next big thing. I guess I'm just bothered by how easy it is for moneyed interests to drive change in a certain direction, and how hard it is for the rest of us to resist those changes.

I'll make this a manifesto for physically going to markets – not super ones, just markets. While the average big-box supermarket conjures up feelings of individualism, consumerism, and alienation, the traditional marketplace is often described as a bustling social centre, where personal and economic interactions happen on a daily basis. It's not

just about food – it's about conversation, trade, music, livelihood. Once a live market has been established, it becomes a vital part of a community – think Granville Island, Pike Place in Seattle, St. Lawrence in Toronto, or Union Square Greenmarket in New York. A market place is appealing because of its variety, its many independent pieces, each specialized and unique. People talk passionately about their products, share their knowledge, and often, even let customers try stuff before making decisions. It's mostly a direct producer-consumer kind of scenario, something you obviously don't get at supermarkets.

Supermarkets are constructed as marketing hyper-sensory environments. Yes, that's a thing. The layout, the displays, the placement on the shelves – it's all there for a reason: to make you spend more than you need to. They are self-serve shops, where you are likely to pass through without making any meaningful conversation at all. Increasingly, you can even scan your own items at the check out and not have to face an underpaid cashier's attempt at small talk. Produce stands, street markets, and farmers markets are without a doubt much more sociable and more ennobling. They inspire a comfortable sense of community.

People are coming to realize this by the millions, and are fighting back the institutional pressures to turn into them lifeless consumers. Farmers

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"The deepest problem that local food efforts face is that we've gotten used to paying so little for food. It may be expensive in terms of how much oil it requires, and how much greenhouse gas it pours into the atmosphere, and how much tax subsidy it receives, and how much damage it does to local communities, and how many migrant workers it maims, and how much sewage it piles up, and how many miles of highway it requires – but boy, when you pull your cart up to the register, it's pretty cheap." — Bill McKibben

Scott Moraes once picked out what kind of food we ate at an office lunch and it took over three hours to arrive. He loves and tends to his food with passion normally reserved for loved ones and cute things. In this column, he explains why he cares about his food, and why you should too.

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Columns

Bands that make her dance THE HIBERNATION SEASON

Daniel Harf × Columnist

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47 issue N o . 11

Daniel Harf loves music so much that his shoelaces have music notes on them. Being an East Van native, he knows the ins-and-outs of the music scene in Vancouver and B.C. all too well, and with this column, will give us a glimpse into it.

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The season is nearly upon us. You may think I am talking about the holiday season, where many will enjoy their debt-funded breaks and paid holidays, suckling at the teat that is their parents’ home.

The season I’m talking about is the Hibernation Season. If you have survived summer with a pulse, fall is the time you are meant to spend living modestly and diligently preparing yourself for your holiday break. Think of the graceful squirrel gathering nuts or cagey raccoons dumpster diving before frost has bitten. In other words, get a part time job and don’t drink as much. However, this past summer miraculously lasted until November, casting a long, dark shadow over the hibernation season. It has left some, like myself, broke right in time for a season full of festivity and expectations.

If you are lucky enough to come from a family that celebrates the George Costanza tradition of “Festivus”, you will gift hard truths and not material goods. This will resolve family gift buying, but don’t forget about your longtime friends, too busy to hang out until their holidays: the potlucks, the secret Santas, the late night confessions of unrequited love to your recently engaged childhood neighbour. Well, for those of you who are in such

× Cheryl Swan

dire need to avoid honest wage-paying labour, let me gift thee these counsels three in time of need.

Office Christmas parties are the holy grail of holiday charity. These events are typically catered, often with an open bar – or by donation – and sometimes even live music. Nobody wants to be the loser alone at a work party. I know you’ve got at least one single friend with a job. Offer to be their wingman or wing-woman. Put yourself on the front line and do whatever it takes so they can get the object of their Starbucks desire alone for a minute. And don’t forget to bring some kind of handbag or briefcase full of Tupperware. If you are sleek and fill your pockets before the booze loosens you up too much, you will be fed for days.

Holiday concerts can be like high-school reunions, but can require a certain amount of bravery on your part. You must wear the most obnoxious Christmas getup you can piece together from your parents’ closet, or, worse case scenario, at your local Sally-Ann. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Have a friend you trust sneak through the venue to leave the back door slightly ajar. You will come blazing through the back hallway like you’re the Clint Eastwood of yuletide spirit. Joy is in the air,

you look the part and it’s been so long since you’ve seen your friends. The employed among them will invite you up to the bar for a beer and some tacky Christmas shot. If they don’t invite you up, just come prepared. A flask under your belt buckle will be your best friend ‘til the bitter end.

Not feeling like braving the night in this cold, cold world? Tackle the season on your own turf.

First, you will need to decorate. Borrow a friend’s truck and chainsaw (Civic and hand saw will do).

Drive up to the Seymour Demonstration Forest, venture as far into the wilderness as possible and give ‘er hell. Now prepare the house blend. Go to your local brewing store and pick up a homebrew starter kit. These things are cheap and only require your time. Homebrew will not only provide a contribution to your potlatches, but also double as the Christmas gift that friends and family just can’t refuse. You are so industrious. Finally, when the evening's all done, you have leftovers, extra Tupperware, an occasional seasonal CD, some guilt gifts and will not need to stumble home through the freezing December night.

Yes, these may sound like petty strategies to manipulate a season of generosity. Yes, your friends

and family feature high in the role of giver this holiday season. But giving must not always be of the material variety. Being present is caring and caring leads to sharing. Sharing is believing, and I believe that if one fully gives oneself, then one will not be measured by the amount of wine they can drink, but by the quality of the company. So this year bring your smile, your creativity, and your unabashed thrift but don’t you dare bring everyone down with apologies of inadequacies. You will have to pay your dues some day and never forget that, but for now, let’s enjoy the season of hibernation. And please don’t be shy, come introduce yourself to me at this year’s office party.

Columns

humans POVERTY + FOOD SECURITY IN CANADA Christine Janke × Columnist

Food security and poverty are largely mistaken as issues affecting people in developing nations alone.

On the contrary, approximately three million Canadians, including roughly 600,000 children, are affected by poverty. Food Banks Canada estimates the number of Canadians accessing food banks in 2011 to be around 900,000. In 2008, a staggering one in 10 Canadian families had no food security. Even more shocking, one in four First Nations children live in poverty. The economic gap in Canadian society that divides the poor from the middle and upper class is widening, and recently, a rising number of Canadians have been struggling to obtain adequate nutrition for their families.

In the spring of 2012 Olivier De Schutter, the UN Special Rapporteur on the right to food, visited Canada. He met with various government agencies, aboriginal groups, human rights activists, researchers, academics and civil society at large.

His subsequent report on how the human right to food is being realized in Canada is embarrassing at best and deeply worrying at worst. De Schutter expressed alarm toward the number of Canadians lacking food security, particularly indigenous peoples.

De Schutter is concerned about the level of minimum wage across Canada. As outlined in articles six and seven of the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights,

Christine Janke is the kind of soul that cares for all of the ones around her. Her education in Human Rights from Malmo University in Sweden has allowed her to look at the world in a different light. Her column Humans, will delve into human rights, and how Canada compares to the world. a minimum wage should be a “living wage” able to support an individual and their families. The Special Rapporteur stated that minimum wage levels in Canada are not high enough to provide Canadians with an adequate living. We need more fair and adequate minimum wage rates across our country, which will alleviate much of the poverty facing many low-income households.

An increase in the liberalization of Canada’s economy is also worrying to De Schutter. It’s this economic liberalization that is contributing to the increasing income gap between Canada’s poor and middle to upper classes. Free trade and international markets are in direct opposition to “buy local” sustainable markets and small farming communities. If food availability is to be increased, we need to have local food systems, not ones that encourage the import of goods that could easily be produced by domestic farms. The outcome of Canada’s future trade plans, such as current Canada-EU free trade negotiations and Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deals will have a serious impact on small-scale, local economies across Canada. An increase in the export of Canadian goods requires an increase in the import and dependence upon foreign products. Within our communities and neighborhoods, we can support local merchants and farmers. It really is a healthier system for both human life and the biodiversity of the planet.

× Jim Hunt Considering the fact that, today, one in four adults are obese and 62 per cent of all Canadians are either overweight or obese, a healthier and more accessible local food system sounds like just the answer. Other possible solutions could be banning junk-food advertising to children under 13 years old, like Quebec has done. If we emulate our national food system after countries like that of the U.S., our national health will deteriorate in the same fashion. We enjoy great civil and political rights, but our economic and social rights, including our right to food, are nowhere outlined in the 1982 Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Canada does not have a national food policy or strategy of any sort.

Maybe it’s just me, but when an international expert on human rights sent by the United Nations visits my home nation, I’m very interested to hear what they might have to say. The views and recommendations of Olivier De Schutter are not to simply be looked at with eyes glazed over.

He sheds an outsider’s perspective on the human rights situation in Canada, and his expert recommendations for the Canadian Government demand serious consideration, followed by a national plan of response and resolution.

We must not leave the mounting number of Canadians lacking an adequate food supply to simply fend for themselves. We have to look seriously

at Canada’s economic liberalization policies, the reasons why the economic gap between Canada’s upper and lower class is increasing, and how we can narrow this gap. In the meanwhile, we need to be a society that cares for the weak and the helpless.

The Burrito Project is a great example of doing just that. A North American-born grassroots initiative where people meet, make burritos, and hand them out, believing that food should be a secure resource for all and that no one should go hungry in any community. Anyone can start a Burrito Project in any city, and a group of people in Montreal has done just that.

Meeting every Sunday, they feed the homeless and hungry on the city’s cold streets. A more humane society, rich in compassion and culture, is available to each of us every day in every moment.

Extend a hand towards humanity, towards life, and you can be sure that life will reach back to you.

There are many actions we can each take towards creating a better society, free from poverty – donating to a food bank or helping a stranger with a random act of kindness. We cannot change the world overnight, but we can each make a significant difference within our own communities. The answer unfolds from one action, or one burrito at a time.

Crazy happy healthy THE MAGNESIUM CURE

Kendra Perry × Columnist

× Tiare Jung

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soda can greatly increase levels in your body and can encourage a wicked sleep. Another great way to absorb the mineral is to rub magnesium oil on your feet at night and put socks on. If you have any of the problems listed above, then oral supplements are recommended as well. The best type is magnesium glycinate or ionic magnesium drops.

For women, 650 mg a day is recommended and 750 mg a day for men. These supplements should be taken at night in the absence of food. It may take a month or two to start working.

Magnesium, for many, is a miracle. It can remedy a wide range of ailments and help people get the spark of life they need so much. Magnesium is not some wonder drug - it is a simple element, vital to your life and mine. It is cheap, available, and may help you in more ways than one. The more I learn about magnesium the more I realize how important it is for all of us. So don't let your magnesium levels dwindle in vain.

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eral also regulates the activity of the heart, controls blood pressure and muscular contraction. Without it, nerve and muscle functions are compromised and energy production dwindles. Studies indicate that very low magnesium levels are found in the heart and the blood of heart attack victims.

Because of the important roles of this salt in the body, a deficiency can lead to a number of unpleasant symptoms like muscle twitching, muscle cramps, constipation, hypothyroidism, insomnia, premenstrual syndrome, diabetes, and renal failure, and so many others. There are so many, in fact, that it's a wonder that we all aren't popping magnesium supplements every single day.

Magnesium has powerful applications in modern medicine. In hospitals doctors will inject magnesium sulphate directly into IVs to control seizures during pregnancy and to correct emergency abnormal heart rhythms. This is because magnesium is considered the “anti-stress” mineral. It is a natural tranquilizer that works to relax the skeletal muscles, the blood vessels, and the gastrointestinal tract. If you have trouble sleeping, are anxious, have migraines, depression, menstrual cramps or constipation, then you might want to consider the amount of this salt present in your diet.

The highest sources of magnesium are raw

cocoa, stinging nettle tea, dry roasted pumpkin seeds, kelp and spinach. The catch is that only 30 to 40 per cent of magnesium is absorbed from these foods in the gastrointestinal tract. So, even eating a diet rich in magnesium may not be enough due to the heavy mineral depletion of modern day agricultural soils. Additionally, many things deplete magnesium salts in our body such as birth control pills, antibiotics, a high sugar diet, processed foods, cocaine, and stress. The refining of foods has almost completely removed it from our environment.

One of the most important connections is between magnesium deficiency and insomnia.

Insomnia is something so many of us deal with, myself included. Not only is it incredibly frustrating, it interferes with mood and energy levels the following day. It also hinders your ability to deal with everyday situations. Insomnia can be caused by deficiency hampering the ability of motor nerves to send the correct signals and the brain may not know it's sleep time. Low magnesium can also cause the release of late night cortisol, keeping you awake. It becomes a vicious cycle because the less sleep you get, the more chronically stressed you become and the more magnesium is lost in the process. If you have trouble sleeping, magnesium is the primary supplement to consider.

There are many different forms of magnesium in the health food store, and they all aren't absorbed equally in your body. Ingesting this mineral isn't always the best way to get the optimal amount inside you. Magnesium is well absorbed through the skin. Epsom salt baths with one cup of baking

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In 1936, a United States Senate document stated that the foods now being raised and grown no longer contain enough minerals and vitamins to nourish us. It also went on to say that no man can eat enough meat, fruits, and vegetables to supply his stomach with the mineral salts he requires for perfect health because our stomachs are simply not big enough to hold them. It is shocking that this document was written almost 80 years ago and since then, the quality of our food supply has continued to decline. The food we eat, including organic, is significantly deficient in most things we need to function optimally as human beings. Magnesium is one of the most important minerals to human health and according to Statistics Canada, up to 80 per cent of Canadians may be deficient.

This important mineral salt was first discovered in deposits near a Greek city called Magnesia. In 1618, an English farmer from the Epsom area, using water from a new well, noticed that it healed the rashes and scratches on cows in his herd. The popularity of this remedy spread quickly through Europe and became what we know as Epsom salts.

Magnesium is involved in over 300 different enzymatic reactions, many of which contribute to the production of energy and cardiovascular function. As well as controlling nerve action, this min-

Kendra Perry skis, hikes, and rock climbs a lot. When not venturing the mountains around Nelson she is writing on her blog, Crazyhappyhealthy.com, where she turns her education into articles for others, and will be the inspiration for this column.

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Cap-ture of the week

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Looking for somewhere to post that photo you snapped of two squirrels boning in the Library courtyard? Want to show off your sick Movember ‘stache to someone other than your mom? Does your cafeteria meal from Aramark look extra delicious today? We’re here for you!

Post a photo of something rad you’ve seen or done on campus, and make sure you tag us in it! @CapilanoCourier on Twitter, @CapCourier on Instagram, or a #hashtag of either. We’ll publish our favourite one every week! Promzies.

So far, we've received a grand total of zero submissions. That's why this week we're featuring this lovely photo of our editor-in-chief Leah @scheibabe attempting to bag a wild garbage man. Photo courtesy of our copy editor @kristialexandra.

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Don’t Forget to Submit Your Health & Dental Claims from Last Year

Important notice for students who were enrolled in the CSU Health and/or Dental Plan in 2012-2013

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DEADLINE FOR SUBMITTING CLAIMS FROM LAST YEAR (for students covered in 2012-2013)

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All health and/or dental claims incurred on or before August 31, 2013 (for the 2012-2013 policy year) must be received by the insurance company (Pacific Blue Cross) by November 29, 2013.

Claims received after the deadline will not be reimbursed. The address for Pacific Blue Cross is at the top of all Claim forms.

Claim forms are available at www.ihaveaplan.ca. For more information, call the Member Services Centre at 1 866 416-8701 from 9 am to 5 pm on weekdays.

Have a smart phone with a QR code reader? Scan the box to be directed to your Plan’s website.

ihaveaplan.ca

OPINIONS

OPINIONS EDITOR ×

FAYE ALEXANDER

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

celibacy syndrome JAPAN IS DISAPPEARING DUE TO LACK OF SEX

× Jackson Butchart

Steve Tornes × Writer

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growing group of people who are personally happy without romantic or sexual attachments. When the individual is placed against the expectations of their community, a struggle of individual identity develops. As Ai Aoyama, a Japanese sex and relationship counselor, says, “People don’t know where to turn. They’re coming to me because they think that by wanting something different there’s something wrong with them.” This evolves into many identity problems in the country, and a rift between the different population segments.

An easy answer to this problem is increasing the immigration to Japan. Of course, Japan remains a closed-off nation, letting in very few immigrants.

There are roughly 2.2 million non-ethnic Japanese residents, out of a Japanese population of 127 million people. According to a 2001 UN report, “In order to keep the size of the working-age population constant at the 1995 level of 87.2 million, Japan would need 33.5 million immigrants from 1995 through 2050. This means that roughly 609,000 immigrants are needed per year during this period.” As it is almost 2014, this is unlikely.

But something needs to happen to counteract Japan’s growing lack of interest in sex.

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children. Japan, according to the World Economic Forum, is rated as one of the least gender equal for economic participation, with roughly 70 per cent of women leaving their job after their first child.

This means that, for women, they are literally choosing between their romance and their work life. It is no wonder that in a country with such a strong focus on work, women don’t often choose romance. Not to mention, if they leave their work to raise their children, they are choosing to become housewives, which has diminishing appeal to many working women.

The Japanese population will decrease substantially in the coming years as a result of the growing “celibacy syndrome”. By 2060, it is expected that Japan will lose roughly a third of its population.

Japan's population could drop by nearly one million people per year. This will lead to huge healthcare costs, as the elderly begin to outnumber the young, especially given that Japan has one of the highest life expectancies in the world. The economy will almost certainly fluctuate, creating huge societal change.

There is a cultural struggle taking place in Japan right now. The position of the government is that marriage and children are good, and necessary for the community. On the other hand, there is a

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tions.” If this is so, perhaps our own sexual and gender norms also require reflection.

Another reason for the Japanese rejection of romantic relationships could be the strong work ethic of Japan. Eri Tomita, a 32-year-old woman, talking about her focus on work over romance, was quoted as saying, “A boyfriend proposed to me three years ago. I turned him down when I realised I cared more about my job.” There seem to be an either/or dichotomy in Japan.

The work hours for Japanese workers can reach unhealthy levels. One man, in the two months before he died from exhaustion was averaging over 80 hours of overtime per month, according to a Japanese labour bureau. According to Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, a report “revealed that less than 20 per cent of young fathers, those in their 30s, consume 60 hours for work every week.” Those fathers have a high risk of seeing their children only an hour a day.

This leads to two important results. First off, the high work hours can limit single men’s ability to meet new romantic interests. Secondly, if they are married, it becomes imperative that one member of the family stay home because the other must work to compensate. Traditionally, it is the female counterpart who stays home to take care of the

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According to a survey by Meiji Yasuda Life, 30 per cent of Japanese men under the age of 30 have never dated. A survey by the Japan Family Planning Association said that nearly half of Japanese women between the ages of 16 and 24 “were not interested or despised sexual contact.” These developments will lead to disastrous consequences for Japan, and it is not caused by the preferences of individuals, but by society itself.

There are a few cultural reasons for this desire to resist romantic relationships. To begin, there is a Japanese word, soshoku danshi, which literally means grass-eating men. It is a term used to signify men who are herbivores. They reject the pursuit of romantic relationships and of careers and are associated with a lack of sexual interest. It has been described as an “unspoken rebellion against many of the masculine, materialist values associated with Japan’s 1980s bubble economy.”

It is individualistic rebellion that goes against traditional gender norms. It gives the suggestion to our own western culture, that perhaps the sexstarved male stereotype might be more culturally based, rather than hormonal. It could be that male herbivores are a rejection of the western consumer society, “under which men needed to be macho and purchase products to win a woman’s affec-

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opinions

micro-homes solve big problems INDIEGOGO CAMPAIGN KICK-STARTS SUSTAINABLE HOUSING PROJECT Paisley Conrad × Writer All over the world, small-impact dwellings are popping up. These houses, aptly dubbed “microhomes” are compact, well-designed, and push living boundaries inwards. Surprisingly, due to legislation in the Greater Vancouver Regional District, any home under 320 square feet cannot be built.

However, with the uprising of green initiatives gaining municipal support, like community gardening, composting, and legislated bicycle routes, this is likely to change as the idea gains recognition and support. By 2020, Vancouver desires to be Canada's greenest city, and micro-homes would further that cause.

Over the summer, local publications lit up as Vancouver beat out Toronto as the most expensive city to live in Canada. Organic food doesn't come cheap, transit prices keep getting hiked up, and the housing prices average over $700,000. The financial crisis among the working class in Vancouver is real, and the solution isn't a simple one. Renting a one-bedroom apartment in a hip area of town is almost impossible on the average worker’s wage.

The public is constantly looking for solutions to the increasing difficulty of making ends meet.

Western society is becoming increasingly aware of the massive environmental impact that day-to-

day living has on the earth's resources, and gradual changes are being implemented to minimize impact. In general, people are becoming increasingly drawn to more sustainable sensibilities. When it comes down to it, people simply do not need the space. As awareness regarding carbon footprints, sustainability, and material values increases, so does the desire to take initiative.

A recent project has been introduced on popular fundraising website, Indiegogo, introducing a solution to both of these pressing issues. An ingenious take on traditional dwellings, the idea proposed small, complex houses that are easily transported.

In the words of Ian Kent, the designer and innovator behind this project, "I knew that effective design could make a space this size feel comfortable. My goal was to produce an efficient yet cozy home with minimal impact on yard space and the environment.” Kent himself has 35 years of experience in home design and building, giving him the professional edge.

Designed with an aesthetic straight from the pages of Vogue Living, the micro-homes include all modern amenities that a person living in North America could possibly want. In the 10' by 10' space, he has packed in a living room, kitchen,

bathroom, a set of stairs, a bedroom, and a storage space. All of these components are integrated in with one another, with the seating area doubling as storage, stairs functioning as kitchen counters and a shower combined with the bathroom, with the toilet on the opposite wall as the showerhead.

These homes were designed with an IKEA mindset, and ideally can be assembled by two people over the span of a week. The parts are flat-packed and complete with a clear instruction manual.

With no monthly mortgage payment, and a price tag of $25,000, they are vastly more affordable than other housing options in Vancouver.

This trend is global, as sustainability-conscious people living in the U.S., Australia, and Europe are all carrying out their own designs. In Brooklyn, a man converted a dumpster into a perfectly comfortable living abode. In Wales, a couple has renovated a van into a stylishly rustic living space using wood panelling. Yurts, which are portable structures made from wood and canvas, are favoured by nomadic tribes in Central Asia, and have been in use for several centuries. It's about time that Canada has gotten on the minimum-impact living train, considering its reputation for being so green and sustainable, particularly in British Columbia.

× Scarlett Aubrey We live in a day and age where setting down ties isn't the ultimate goal anymore. Any real estate agent will tell you that less and less people are interested in buying houses and building large homes. The “white picket fence” dream that has defined North America for the last hundred years is slowly falling out of step with what the rising generations. What Canadians need to strive for is a sustainable and affordable lifestyle. Micro-homes are the future, and the future is cheap.

mayoralities ROB FORD'S ETHICS SLIP THROUGH THE CRACK Megan Forsyth

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After many months of speculation about its existence, a video of the now infamous Toronto mayor Rob Ford allegedly smoking crack cocaine found its way into the hands of police at the end of October. Having previously denied the allegations against him, Ford went on his weekly radio show and apologized ambiguously for “making mistakes” and asked Toronto police chief Bill Blair to release the contents of the video to the public. Ford maintained that he would not be stepping down as mayor and still planned to run for re-election in 2014. In a media scrum two days later, Ford finally came clean.

“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine,” he said, “but am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.”

Rob Ford’s admission raises a multitude of questions about the level of ethics that we expect from public figures, particularly those involved in politics. “Ethics” is derived from the Greek word ethos which means “character” — something that the mayor certainly has plenty of, just not the right kind. As a person holding the highest position in municipal office, he should be setting an example as a law-abiding, contributing citizen of Toronto – but instead he has been outed as a drug user, a hypocrite, and a liar.

Just last summer, Mayor Ford stood alongside police chief Bill Blair and vowed to crack-down (no pun intended) on the city’s increasingly problematic gang crime and drug culture. It would have been unacceptable for him to use hard drugs at any time, but according to Ford’s estimate, the

incident took place many months after he made that promise to the city of Toronto, revealing his actions to be especially deplorable and deceiving.

Spinning these kinds of lies, it is remarkable that Ford still seems to think that his colleagues and the citizens of Toronto could ever forgive or trust him again and wholeheartedly support him being in office.

There is just one problem: no one can get rid of him. Not only has this debacle shown Rob Ford for whom he truly is, but it has also exposed a major problem with the law. Even under such dire circumstances, there is no legal way for city council to suspend or impeach the mayor for his inappropriate actions. He has not yet been formally been charged with a crime (note to police: pick up the damn pace) and is remaining steadfast in his decision not to step down, or at the very least, take a leave of absence.

While Toronto’s code of conduct for city council does not specifically state “thou shalt not smoke crack cocaine,” it does specify that “the public is entitled to expect the highest standards of conduct from the members that it elects to local government,” and that “in turn, adherence to these standards will protect and maintain the City of Toronto’s reputation and integrity.”

Could Rob Ford read that excerpt aloud with a straight face? For some reason, most likely ego, he seems to think that these rules do not apply to him. Not only should a mayor be able to handle the day-to-day dealings involved in running a city, but they should also demonstrate the qualities of a good, noble leader. An ideal leader would be open

to criticism, be willing to make compromises for the well-being of his city, and be able to adapt to change. The media spotlight shining on Ford the last few weeks has exposed all of his ugly, reprehensible flaws, even beyond his drug use and apparent alcohol problem – lest we forget the newly leaked video of him drunkenly describing murdering someone in gruesome detail.

Comparing Rob Ford to Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson is almost laughable. One is a casual crack user who socializes with gang members and drugs dealers, while the other is an organic juice company co-founder who rides his bicycle to City Hall every day. Whatever your politics may be, it is pretty clear who would be the safer bet to trust with the job of running a major city.

One Toronto councillor complained that because of Rob Ford’s actions and as a result of the media coverage, she found herself needing to explain to her nine-year-old child what crack cocaine is. If Ford stays in office, parents are going to be desperately struggling to explain to their children why a man who does hard drugs, publicly drinks alcohol to excess, makes racist and homophobic remarks, and was once charged with assault by his own wife, is allowed to keep his job. We know what Rob Ford would say to that: “I have made mistakes.”

We all have had our blunders. Not many of us, however, can say that we have purchased drugs at a crack house from narcotics dealers while we were supposed to be busy running the city of Toronto.

That is a whole other level of mistake-making.

Appearing at a ceremony on Remembrance

× Sydney Parent Day, he shook hands with a supporter and told her, “I’m not going anywhere — guaranteed.” What Ford doesn’t realize, or perhaps won’t yet admit, is that there is nowhere to go from here but down.

Toronto city council, the public, and the media will not relent until Rob Ford is pushed out of office. Legally, it cannot be done yet Ford is bound to reach his breaking point. If Ford was smart, he would accept defeat and step down now before things get really ugly. Wouldn’t the knowledge of a whole nation laughing at you, drive you towards a hearty relapse? By staying in office, Ford is not only hurting Toronto and its reputation — he is hurting himself.

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untapped knowledge PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM FOCUSES ON ONE TYPE OF LEARNER Katherine Gillard × News Editor

× Crystal Lee

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need different strategies to learn. They are smart – they just don’t fit into the 80 per cent. Learning disabilities are different from other disabilities this way – there are ways to work around it. “I think really, it’s about having a harder time to do it because, it’s not as if you’re in a wheelchair. I can’t get you out of that wheelchair, you know. But a kid with a learning disability, we can enable a kid with a learning disability. We can help shift that disability into ability really - if we teach them the strategies they need.”

She continues, “In fact, even the word ‘disability’ that’s the legal definition, and it has its ramifications but what I like to say to parents and people is that’s about funding. If you can get a disability delineation in the public system, then you’re going to get the support that you need to get through school and even get the accommodations going into secondary education.”

Students diagnosed with a learning disability can get the help they need from not only the public school system but also post-secondary institutions. This can mean taking tests with a bit of extra time or taking them orally or getting separate extra-help to study. However, many public schools do not have enough staff with degrees in special education to help the 20 per cent that need help.

Elementary schools have more support than secondary schools, but the numbers of students who need support remains the same. This leaves many students without the support they need simply because they do not fit into the 80 per cent that learn without special support. Gifted minds are going untapped because the public school system can’t adapt to strategize for 20 per cent of students.

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they go undiagnosed because of the responsibility of the diagnosis falls on the public school system, which is often unprepared to handle them.

“If you’ve got a kid who’s really bright, by definition, or even normally bright, and he’s sitting in the classroom and he can’t read and the teacher says ‘okay Matthew, read this paragraph’ and he sees everything backwards, and that’s a pretty broad learning disability description, and he can’t read, he starts to learn from his peers, he starts to learn through other supports, he learns to avoid being called upon so he can start to mask that disability because really, kids want to be successful. They want to fit in, they want to get along – nobody gets up in the morning and says ‘Oh, I’m going to fail today’ except after years of failure. There’s a very strong link to learning disabilities and drop outs and just putting kids at higher risk as they get older, no question,” adds Keyes.

It’s important to catch these students when they are young so that they can learn different strategies to succeed in the school system. Some of the most gifted minds have learning disabilities. Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Winston Churchill have been said to have learning disabilities and they have made some of the greatest achievements of humankind. “The IKEA guy has a learning disability, that’s the reason for all of the silly names of Ikea products. Because he has an absolute aversion to anything with a number in it. That’s a part of a learning disability,” adds Keyes.

It’s unfair to say each student with a learning disability will need the same special attention, often times it’s a combination of issues - these disabilities are unique and need attention tailored to their needs. These are students that are average or above average intelligence who have different skills, and

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viral of his spoken word “Why I Hate Education but I Love School”. He outlines how Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerburg, and more didn’t go on to post-secondary education – but they’re all successful. They may not have learning disabilities, but they are great examples of how, just because someone doesn’t go to university, doesn’t mean they won’t be successful. These are people that are smart, they are just not traditionally educated. There is nothing wrong with not fitting the mold – some of the world’s smartest people don’t.

Recently, St. Basil Elementary in Calgary has decided to remove all certificates and ceremonies honouring academic and athletic achievement because they lose purpose to those who frequently get them and they discourage students who never get them. The school dismisses the idea that grades help motivate students to do well academically, they claim that the more you reward a student for doing well the more likely they are to lose interest.

If teachers are giving feedback rather than grades, students are more likely to engage in education, rather than get by in school. This makes sense: encourage kids to learn, not to get good grades.

Feedback encourages further learning – without marks, feedback is the only way for a student to know how they are doing and what they can do to do better.

Learning disabilities hold many students back, however, because they are not getting the feedback they need. Over 18,000 children have been diagnosed with a learning disability in B.C. as well as students in need of educational help because of diagnosis of attention deficit disorder, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, or autism. There is a wide spectrum of learning disabilities and often times

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Imagine you are out for dinner at your favourite restaurant with a friend. You choose to eat with a fork, while your friend opts for chopsticks. You wouldn’t say your friend has a utensil disorder since both of you finish your meal – you just use different tools to get the same result. The same applies to learning disabilities. A student may be labeled with a disability but they are still capable of just as much as the next person, they just need different strategies to do so.

Debate has sparked on whether the school system is doing everything that it can to help students with learning disabilities and whether marginalizing these students because they struggle in school is necessary. The public school system is focused on one type of learner and that type takes up 80 per cent of the population in schools – that leaves 20 per cent in the dust.

“The school system operates on the basis that 80 per cent of kids are going to come in the door, they’re going to learn and they’re going to get out the other side. Whether they go on to secondary or professional careers becomes moot. They come in, they learn, they leave,” says Susan Keyes, executive director of Learning Disabilities Association of Vancouver.

“20 per cent of kids require supported learning environments so that can be for medical reasons, developmental aid or learning disabilities, there can be a wide range of why kids don’t learn in that 20 per cent. But 15 per cent, they feel, can be remediated, they just require a supported learning environment. Quite frankly, 80 per cent of kids go in, and 80 per cent of them graduate, it’s the same 20 per cent really who don’t thrive in the school environment,” she adds.

Suli Breaks, a vlogger, made a video that went

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CABOOSE EDITOR ×

JEREMY HANLON

CABOOSE.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

kathy Rhiannon Collett × Writer

× Ksenia Kozhevnikova

the capilano courier

×

volume

47 issue N o . 11

It was cold that night. That’s what I remember.

Not a harsh, biting-kind of cold, but that chill that permeates everything. The kind of cold that you carry with you, cheeks flushed, into someone’s home.

We were sitting on the curb, having a cigarette.

Kathy was rolling hers by hand, cursing under her breath as fine brown tobacco slipped between her fingers. The air tasted of mint and smoke. It was getting dark; our cigarettes glowed like fireflies in the evening air. Winter was around the corner, and the trees waved their skeletal arms at us, creaking in the wind.

Kathy turned to me, her cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

“I really fucked up this time, didn’t I?” She grinned. Her hair was a violent orange. It was escaping out of her ponytail and her mascara was streaked under her eyes. Her temple was bruised.

She looked like shit; I’d never seen her smile that wide.

“You didn’t fuck up. He did,” I retorted.

She laughed. “Sure.”

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“It wasn’t your fault.”

I looked her in the eyes, in her bloodshot green eyes. I saw her chapped lips and her crooked nose and the dark black roots of her hair pushing away the orange.

She looked away. “Whatever.”

We sat in silence. I knew she didn’t believe me.

Those days, everything was the same. It’s hard to describe — it’s like when you say a word over and over until you can’t remember what it means or why you said it in the first place. Fault had lost its definition.

Then there was this moment of peace, you know? That instant before all hell breaks loose, and you just stop and think for a second, “Goddamn I’m grateful for this moment of being.” I had one of those. I don’t know if Kathy did.

So I’m sitting there, staring at Kathy’s scuffed Docs when I hear him. It’s Jared from across the hall, who’d fucked Kathy when we got here, when we were new and scared and looking for some answers. Jared didn’t know anything. She found that out the hard way.

“Kathy… Kathy, baby,” he was calling her name, all quiet and innocent-like, practically crooning. She tensed up next to me, squeezed my hand and stood up from between the cars where we were sitting. Hiding. Just trying to have a fucking smoke.

And then, before I knew it, he was yelling at her, for absolutely no reason and then she started shrieking and telling him to fuck off, and I just sat there, trying to breathe in my cancer. And he hits her. Just full on backhands her across the face.

She hits the car that I’m leaning against and I stand up and grab her, hold onto her like I should have before.

He spat on the ground and walked away. I didn’t say anything. It had been said too many times to make any sense.

Kathy clutched my sweater and cried and I’d never seen Kathy cry before and it was horrible.

Really horrible. He had a ring on and there was this big angry welt across her face, and her lip was bleeding.

When I couldn’t see him any more we sat back down and tried to light up, but her cigarette had gone to shit. Her hands were shaking pretty bad, and the tobacco was everywhere and she was still crying.

I didn’t know what to do, so I rolled one for her, licked the paper, pinched the end and lit up. And when I breathed in, I tried to imagine all the shitty stuff coming out of the cigarette. Like I could give her something good with my breath. I held it to her mouth and she took a drag because her hands were shaking so bad she couldn’t hold it.

I grabbed her hand and I held on really tight and we smoked the cigarette together until there were no more fireflies in the night. The smoke became our breath and the sun was gone. The trees waved at us.

Kathy laughed. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?” It wasn’t her fault.

When I wake up in the morning at a quarter to one, and I'll be looking to have a little fun, I'll brush my teeth. When I wake up in the morning at a quarter to two, and I want to find something to do, I'll brush my teeth. When I wake up in the morning at a quarter to three, and my mind starts humming, twiddle dee dee, I'll brush my teeth.

When I wake up in the morning at a quarter to

four, and I think I hear a knock on your door, I hope that it's you, checking in to see if I did, in fact, brush my teeth. I do this every night, forever waiting for your knock. It hasn't come yet, but I'm going to keep at it.

Twinkle, twinkle, my little star, how I wonder where you are. No seriously, I wish I knew where you were right now. Take me down by the bay,

where the watermelons grow. Back to my home, I dare not go, for if I do, my mother would say that I am crazy for loving you. And maybe I am. But it's not baloney, and I ain't a phoney. All I think about is your bananaphone, and how badly I want to ring it. I suppose that you can't help that you're so appealing, just like I can't help that I want to peel you like a banana.

raffi Paisley Conrad × Writer Oh Raffi.

You are my one light, and my one sun. I remember the long, dark winter nights of my island youth, when the shadows on the wall frightened me and the monsters still lived underneath my bed. There was nothing that could console me – nothing except for your soft croon. I am your baby beluga, in the deep blue sea that is the night, and you are my little white whale on the go.

Affectionately, Your Baby Beluga

staff editorial my time at the courier THE PERKS OF WORKING ON CAMPUS Lindsay Howe ×Web, Ads + Marketing Manager

× Cheryl Swan

"Years from now, I may not remember the names of all my professors, or what my favorite class was, but one memory I will never forget is the first time I opened the Courier and saw an article with my name on the byline, published."

47 issue N o . 11

formal night, and I like wearing dresses.

The social aspect of the Courier is yet another reason working here has been such a positive experience for me. I’ve been lucky enough to have great bosses, great co-workers – I’m even going on a double date with this year’s news editor, Katherine, Instagram pictures to come – and a great little office space where I spend most of my out-of-class time. Every week, we do lots of proofreading, lots of editing, and lots of eating, three things I enjoy profusely.

The Courier has changed my experience at university in such a positive way. Years from now, I may not remember the names of all of my professors, or what my favourite class was, but one memory I will never forget is the first time I opened the Courier and saw an article with my name on the byline, published.

If you like eating food, writing things and getting paid to do it, and meeting new people, come find us in the Maple building. It’s more than just a good time, it’s an experience.

volume

get asked about the staff writer position confusion in my interview. Still, I became the news editor and officially started my journey at the Courier.

The first year was great, I had the opportunity to create story ideas, and work with writers to edit their stories. I felt like, for the first time in my working career, I was doing something I enjoyed to receive a paycheque, not something I despised.

And this year is no different. While I’m working in a different capacity now, I am learning new things about advertising and online media, skills that I will be able to utilize post - Courier, and that employers are actively seeking on a resume.

Since coming on staff, I’ve had the opportunity to learn so much about interviewing, grammar, punctuation, and the newspaper industry itself.

I have had the opportunity to attend three, and soon to be four, conferences held by Canadian University Press, where I’ve gotten to meet people working in the industry and have gained a wealth of knowledge on the expectations of working in journalism outside of university. Also, they have a

×

I attended my first story meeting to meet other new writers, I assumed I was in a competition with these people to become the next staff writer. After writing a couple of articles I thought to myself: no one has told me I’m not a staff writer, so I guess I got the job. It wasn’t until I found myself in an interview with the two editor-in-chiefs, telling them this thought pattern, that I realized I hadn’t been a staff writer all along, and that, indeed there was a difference between being a contributor and a staff writer. It was then that I decided to withdraw my candidacy for the staff writer position due to the work schedule at my other job, but let me tell you, being in an interview for a job you think you already have is more than slightly uncomfortable.

After missing a couple of story meetings due to embarrassment, I decided to come back and write a couple of opinions to close the year out, on why Valentine’s Day is bad (I disagree), and why summer sucks (again, I disagree). Although I had only written a handful of articles at this point, I decided to go for it and apply for an editorial position. I did

the capilano courier

What would you say if I told you that you could have a well-paying job right here on campus with flexibility so you could attend your classes, and that you’d get to make a bunch of new friends while doing so? Too good to be true? Think again, my dear reader. While some university students choose to make their part-time incomes in a more conventional way as a barista or server, others choose option C and find themselves working in an editorial environment at the Capilano Courier.

I spent the first year and a half of my education at Capilano working in the hospitality industry, without even realizing that jobs were available at our university publication. I would see the papers, and occasionally pick one up, but was always under the impression that the Courier was somehow run under the students’ union and I’d have to run some type of campaign to be elected as an employee. Boy, was I ever wrong.

After stumbling across an advertisement on the university’s job board for a staff writer in December 2011, I decided to submit my resume. When

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the caboose

CABOOSE EDITOR ×

JEREMY HANLON

CABOOSE.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

SHOTGUN REVIEWS : EIGHTIES BANDS

WHITESNAKE

I HAIRLY KNEW YOU

FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS

AIR SUPPLY

Faye Alexander // Opinions Editor

Steve Tornes // Writer

James Martin // Writer

Scott Moraes // Managing Editor

What has seven arms and sounds awful? Def Lepard. But we’re not here to discuss Def Lepard. I just wanted to get that joke in here somehow. In 2005, Whitesnake was named the 85th best band of all time. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be bragging about placing 85th in a list of 85 bands.

They should have that slashed from their Wikipedia page and claim it was “erroneous.” The best thing about Whitesnake was their major U.S. hit “Here I Go Again” from their appropriately named 1987 album Whitesnake. The iconic music video features model/actress Tawny Kitaen. And that’s what I really want to talk about: Tawny Kitaen.

Her career peaked gyrating on the hood of a classic ’80s muscle car, her ginger hair flowing wildly in the winds, legs scissoring towards the skies. I was so invested in her as a music video starlet, I actually watched her starring roles in VH1’s The Surreal Life and Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Every time I watch that music video now, I get a strange sense of satisfaction knowing she becomes a painkiller junkie looking for a career resurgence that will never happen. The best it will ever get for Tawny is being in a music video for VH1’s 85th Stars. Damn if she wasn’t fine, though.

Have you seen the hair of Mike Score? He looks like an alien, even more than that alien meme guy.

First time I saw his hair, I ran, I ran so far away. By the way, his hair wasn’t a practical joke by a barber.

Mike Score was once a hairdresser and designed it himself. Score was lead singer of A Flock of Seagulls until 2013 when somebody stole the band van with their newest recordings. Unforgivable.

Just imagine, a new album of A Flock of Seagulls, it was going to be hair-raising. Not to split hairs, but a group of seagulls is actually a colony, not a flock. Of course, this band was only famous in the ’80s. My theory is that the band couldn’t stay hip because Score went bald. As they say, hair today, gone tomorrow. Without that glorious ’do, what was left of this hair band? Music? No, that was a poor substitute. The only modern example of that alien hair is Donald Trump’s wig, but I say this unjustly. Score is still here, but his hair has been beamed up to the mothership. We will forever listen and remember A Flock of Seagulls, because in an era of horrible hairstyles, Mike Score stood supreme.

"She Drives Me Crazy" and "Good Thing". These are the 1989 classics that you know and (guiltily) love by the Birmingham-based Fine Young Cannibals. Two #1 hits, and little else of note. In a way, being a two-hit wonder is kind of worse than the regular one-hit variety. The one-hit wonder could be imagined as a fluke, the occasional result of a thousand piano-pounding monkey bands accidentally bashing out a masterpiece far beyond their capabilities. But a two-hit wonder is just too much to be a coincidence. The two-hit wonders like Fine Young Cannibals clearly know how to write incredible songs... they just suck at doing it prolifically enough. And that's kind of sad. We resent them for squandering their obvious gift.

Maybe I should stop being such a dick to Fine Young Cannibals though. They actually have a slightly fuller track record on the other side of the pond than what I knew about here North America before Wikipedia shattered my preconceptions.

And as a zero-hit wonder who doesn't own any monkeys, maybe I could shut up and try to learn a thing or two.

The 80s had its golden artists: Tom Waits, Sonic Youth, The Replacements, The Smiths... But the 80s also had its dark glittery side, like my dad's favourite album of all time: The Greatest Hits by Air Supply. They had terrible hair, wore terrible clothes, and they sang into headsets (gross). Worst of all, they spoke in shitty Australian accents – not exactly their fault, but fuck! Ninety percent of all their songs have Love in the title. When I was a teenager, my dad played that record so often that I had no option but to give in to it. Those songs were so chronically catchy that I would find myself at school weeks later humming or singing “Lost in Love” or some other embarrassingly shitty love ballad – this, following a heartbreak, led people to believe I was a psycho planning to blow up the school. For a pop rock duo, they were the opposite of Simon and Garfunkel, so logically, I should hate them. Think of The Graduate. Imagine if “Even the Nights Are Better” played every time Benjamin fucks Mrs. Robinson. The entire movie would've sucked with an Air Supply score.

W/ FAYE ALEXANDER BLACK FRIDAY REAL DEATH METAL PS4 BECAUSE YOU HATED YOUR PS3

SOUTHERN ACCENTS IT'S CHEAPER THAN AUSTRALIA DRAKE DUCK-BILLED POND RESIDENT GREECE TOO AN UNDERRATED SEQUEL

the capilano courier

×

volume

47 issue N o . 11

WELL-ADJUSTED THANKS, I HAD THEM TAILORED

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SPECIAL THEY ALWAYS SAID YOU WERE! THE ROYAL BABY SEEMS MORE LIKE A CHAD INDECISIVE? I'M NOT SURE TAXIDERMY FRIENDS FOREVER

× Katie So