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× JANUARY 27TH 2014

CAPILANO NORTH VANCOUVER

ISSUE

N O . 15

COURIER A SPRITZ OF DEATH

CARCINOGENS AND TOXINS IN COSMETICS ARE A NATION-WIDE CONCERN PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

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OLYMPIC ORCAS

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CHINA IMPROVES

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GAME ON

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CAPILANO Courier 11

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News

A+C

features

calendar

Columns

opinions

CABOOSE

ESL Cutbacks

Horsing Around

ClubZone

Bingo Lingo

Landlord Love

Wood-He? Allen

Odes of March

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Katherine Gillard News Editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

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Capilanocourier.com

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Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:

THE CAPILANO COURIER

@capcourier

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The Staff

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@capilanocourier

of this trapped in a closet...next to the Maple dumpster university newspaper.

Kristi Alexandra Copy Editor

Andy Rice Arts + Culture Editor

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Therese Guieb Features Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Faye Alexander Opinions Editor

Jeremy Hanlon Caboose Editor

Scott Moraes Managing Editor

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Carlo Javier Staff Writer

Lindsay Howe Marketing + Web Editor

Alva Tee, Calvin deGroot, Paisley Conrad, Steve Tornes, Mike Ros, Gabriel Scorgie, Keara Farnan, Romila Barryman, Reuben G Krabbe, Christine Janke, Layla Domino

Ksenia Kozhevnikova (Cover), Reuben Krabbe, Shirley Wu, Ekaterina Aristova, Emily McGratten, Kelsey Holden, Vivian Liu, Cristian Fowlie, Joshua Seinen, Alex Chaney, Tierney Milne, Kristen Wright, Rebecca Joy, Tina Furesz, Jackson Butchart, Jessica Ngo, Stefan Tosheff, Garth Phillips & Liam Lazenby (Comic)

Thank You!

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Disappointing words

Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief

"But I still want sushi. With a bowl of miso. Cause what's sushi without miso? Bullshit. That's what it is. The staff at the Courier are sushis. Eagerly floating around in the ocean of journalism wanting to crawl along the shores of breaking news and discovery. I will be the fisherman that catches them and makes them the best sushis possible. 'Cause after all, I love sushi.”

- Andrew Palmquist, Sushi Editor

Let me give you a little insight into the Courier’s production schedule, and how it operates. Every Tuesday at 11:30 a.m., the section editors and I gather in Maple 122, where we go over the pitches for the next issue.

We pitch them to ourselves first, to see if there are any other angles to the story that we haven’t thought of. Two minds are better than one, and in our case, 11 caffeine-fueled ones are needed to get the direction for the pitches.

After our pre-pitch meeting, we open our doors to students, contributors, and anyone else that may want to join our meeting. Stories are pitched, writers pick up ones that they are interested in writing, and we get to meet new writers and contributors. It’s usually a pretty fun time. And this is my unsolicited plug that everyone should join us for the story meetings. Tuesdays at noon, in Maple 122, or as we fondly dubbed it, the Maple Dumpster.

The stories that are pitched on Tuesday are then written, and are due to the editors by Sunday. The writers and editors play ping-pong with the piece, sending it back and forth for a few days before it goes to our lovely copy editor, Kristi. She dots the I’s and reads all the pieces to make sure they are up to Canadian Press style standards, and sends it to production. Then the entire staff musters again on Fridays where we eat a bunch of food and read the paper over three times before sending it to the printers. There is a 13-day turnaround from when the stories are pitched to when they're in print, and we like to stay on it, so we know exactly what articles are going in exactly what issue.

I’m explaining this because I’m frantically writing this on a Friday afternoon. My editorials are meant to be due on Sundays, like every other piece, but Scott, my cynical and talented managing editor, is lucky if he gets them on Wednesday. I knew weeks in advance that this piece was due, I knew that I was going to have to write something, and yet it’s now 2 p.m. on Friday, and I’m flustered and trying to type this as quickly as possible so I can order sushi and get on with my other work.

The problem isn’t procrastination. I actually sat down and tried to write this thing on three different occasions this week. My ritual for writing is to play some Tool or other heavy metal, light an old candle stick that is delicately placed in an old beer bottle, and craft an anecdotal letter about current affairs and such.

But no amount of candles or Tool could help me this week, and I sat there on each different occasion with a blank screen mocking me to my face. This week my problem was a straight up lack of inspiration.

People say to write about what matters to you and write about what you know. But there are only so many times people want to hear my sentiments on dentist appointments, Saturday Night Live and my adorable cats. If you’d like to know, my sentiments are as follows: dentists are mean, and conceal more from their patients than a cheating boyfriend, Saturday Night Live is my biggest aspiration and the spark for too many of my conversations, and my cats are still adorable. So I sat there, just looking at a white Word Doc, feeling inadequate as a writer and editor.

Inspiration is a fickle thing. It can come in bursts, where everything you see inspires you and there isn’t enough time to take it all in. Or it can dwindle, and hide from you, no matter how hard you look for it. And it helps to have sources of untapped inspiration of your own. Personally, I look to my friends, as they are pretty cool people, full of some kind of humourous wisdom. When I sent Andrew Palmquist, the production manager, an email apologizing for not having an editorial in to him earlier, he tried to spark some creativity for me, and wrote an ode to sushi and the rest of the Courier staff. It gave me a smile and an opening quote to start off with. Thanks Andrew.

If this editorial has disappointed you because it seems rushed and flustered, know that it has disappointed me, too. A lack of inspiration, which can be annoying to any writer, should not all together thwart the creative process. It still had to go on, and papers still have to go out. As Lorne Michael’s famously preaches, “The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready. The show goes on because it’s 11:30.” And while I may have struggled personally, I can say with full confidence that the rest of the staff picked up my slack this week.

It’s because of them that this paper maintains its quality. I’m grateful and very lucky to have them helping me, and being my sources of untapped inspiration.

Also, since I’ve already mentioned SNL twice, I’d like to say that the highlight of my bleak week was when I discovered that a writer from SNL favourited three of my tweets. I asked the Twitter-sphere “Can you tip a pizza guy with two slices of pizza? Is that a thing?” and he liked it. That should give me enough inspiration for next week’s editorial. If I start writing it now, it should be ready by then.

tweets from their seats

THE VOICE BOX

with: Scott Moraes robyndoolittle @robyndoolittle Jan 23 Still no RoFo.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your concerns. First of all, we'd like to clarify that the views of one writer, whether on staff or not, are not necessarily the collective views of the Courier editorial staff. Also, though we'd probably be classified quite left of the media spectrum, we are open to publishing opinions

“Why does every one need to pretend to care about Justin Bieber being arrested? If you knew you could bail yourself out of any situation, you'd get in trouble all the time. I don't like Bieber as an artist, but I support his right to do stupid things.”

That's good logic. You should indeed support people's right to drive drunk if they're rich, because the bail money will go towards building more jails and that will make the world a safer place, right? Please text me when you're out exercising your right to do stupid things, give me an address, and good luck bribing the cops with your colossal student debt.

Yulia Gorbunova @yuliagorbunova_Jan 22 #Ukraine violence escalates, hundreds injured. Authorities confirm one death during clashes, activists claim protester was shot dead Cap Students' Union @Capilano_CSU Jan 21 Want to share ideas for enhancing campus community and mental health? Attend this summit Jan 23-25! #CapU Philip DeFranco @PhillyD Jan 23 Justin Bieber's mugshot. You can just see the "Celebs are never held accountable" mindset on his face.

Justin Bieber @justinbieber 2m YOU ARE ALL WORTHY NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS >> BE STRONG GOD IS WITH US ALL> MY BELIEBERS CHANGED MY LIFE> I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL

Seth Meyers @sethmeyers 4h Hotmail has been smooth sailing all day!

Miley Ray Cyrus @MileyCyrus 8h I wish Rebecca Black would wake me up with a live performance of "Friday" every Friday for the rest of my life.

Using the word "Thug" instead of the N word

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John Herrman @jwherrman 5h the gmail free public beta is OVER

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The Voicebox is back, ready to humbly respond to your questions, concerns, and comments about anything. To inquire, just send a text to 778 - 689 - 4642 to anonymously "express" and "voice" your "opinion" and "thoughts" on any "subject" or "issue". And, as long as it's not offensive, we will publish it here, right in the Voicebox. It's a win - win, or whine - whine - whatever way you look at it.

Matt Frehner @mattfrehner1h People read long articles on their phones. It's true. Two top @globeandmailarticles on mobile last year were major investigative pieces.

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that we may all collectively disagree with – we'd publish Bill O'Reilly if he wanted to write for us. In our view, rejecting or censoring opinions we don't agree with would conflict with freedom of expression. Carlo, the sassy author of the PiDGiN article, also wants to ask you where you got your thesaurus from, he needs a good one and he hates the one online.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

“Darn Courier darn! Every issue of the paper appears to embody more and more middle class values, classism and banality! There was a moment in which the Courier appeared to challenge these issues, but the PiDGiN article is the icing on the cake. ‘Between the supposed issue of gentrification...' the author speaks with such authority, and of these issues like a person who has never tasted the ramifications of poverty, addiction or close community. By perpetrating opinions like this reinforces the neo-colonialism of the already upper-classed, business-minded populous of Capilano under the guise of 'improvement of an area' (the student body) so that it conforms to the author's desired middle class (homogeneity). Hopefully the paper can lose the shackles of cliché and go back to being cutting edge, or at least not dull.”

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NEWS

KATHERINE GILLARD NEWS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

hawaiian winds JET STREAM BRINGS WARM FRONT TO VANCOUVER Keara Farna × Writer

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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The Pineapple Express, which was predicted to take place over the weekend of Jan. 18, raised questions for many Vancouver residents who didn’t understand exactly what it was, and how it would affect the weather.

Pineapple Express is a non-meteorological term referring to the moisture near the Hawaiian Islands that travels along the jet stream and then ventures to the West Coast of North America. However, British Columbia is most affected by this sort of weather occurrence.

This harsh weather was expected to hit the coast of B.C. spreading across the South Coast and intensifying overnight. Whistler is at greater risk of the Pineapple Express as 15 centimetres are to cover the ground. Strong winds are also a possibility to the South Coast with highs of 80 to 90 kilometres per hour.

“It is a warm, moist air travelling toward the West Coast of North America from the subtropics – near Hawaii – in the winter. They occur in Vancouver, but also south of us in Washington, Oregon, and California. The name comes from the fact that this is coming from near Hawaii…. where pineapples grow,” says Sheila Ross, geography professor at Capilano University.

The strongest winds of the Pineapple Express can be up to 80 to 100 kilometres per hour in North Vancouver Island and the Central Coast, whereas the ones that were supposed to take place on Vancouver Island and the Sunshine Coast were estimated at 60 to 80 kilometres per hour. The volumes of wind could have been even greater in other parts of the province. CBC News Vancouver reported that Solander Island, located on the north-west part of Vancouver Island was supposed to receive a wind gust which was 142 kilometres

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per hour before 8:30 p.m. on Jan. 11.

“Because the air is wet, the Pineapple Express brings very high amounts of rain to our area. Because the air is warm, the Pineapple Express can melt the snow on our mountains. These two things together – lots of rain and melting snow – can cause flooding,” adds Ross.

Metro Vancouver, the Fraser Valley and Howe Sound are most susceptible to rain or snow as they’re in a higher level of elevation, resulting in a possible overnight rain or snowstorm. With rain and snow being a big concern for those in higher levels of B.C., flooding is also a major factor. While the rain flows heavily in landing areas, which have experienced snowfall in the past week, an avalanche is also a potential threat to those in such remote areas.

“Vancouver usually experiences one to two Pineapple Express events every fall and winter.

So, it’s only unusual in the respect that it doesn’t happen frequently. It is the jet stream – an upper air wind – that carries the warm, moist air towards us. The jet stream’s position is constantly changing. When it is in the right position, it produces a Pineapple Express,” states Ross.

The Pineapple Express, which was supposed to take place in B.C., has also affected Northern and Southern California and Alaska in the past leading to extreme weather conditions such as mud slides, heavy winds and major flooding. Both the Christmas flood of 1964 in California, Oregon, and Washington states, and the Willamette Valley Flood of 1996, which took place in Oregon, are perfect examples of how the Pineapple Express has affected the United States as well.

The Christmas flood of 1964 took place on the Pacific Northwest and in California from Dec. 18,

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1964 and Jan. 7, 1965. It flooded nearly every stream on the Northern side of California and greatly affected the Williamette Valley as well along with Washington, Idaho, and Nevada. As a result, the flood killed approximately 19 individuals in the U.S.A., damaged as many as 10 towns, and destroyed many valuable properties and bridges.

The Williamette Flood was also a major flood, which took place on the Northwest part of the U.S.A. and in Oregon. It spread beyond the Willamette Valley of Oregon and made its way to the west part of the Oregon Coast and then to the Cascade Mountains. This resulted in massive flood damage which caused eight deaths in Oregon and over $500 million in property damage throughout the Pacific Northwest.

“A Pineapple Express is predicted by predicting the path of the jet stream. As part of a weather forecast, forecasters predict what path the jet stream will take. If they predict that it will be coming from the southwest then they might forecast a

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Pineapple Express event,” explains Ross.

Despite the Pineapple Express creating harsh weather conditions within several parts of B.C. Ross says, “The reason we haven’t had much snow is because we have had less precipitation overall in the Vancouver area this winter. It is just part of the inherent variability of weather. Snow requires not just cold, but also precipitations. It has been cold enough a few times this winter, but when it was cold there was no precipitation.”

Although Vancouver was expected to have a Pineapple Express on the weekend of Jan. 18, the weather was not nearly cold enough in order for this to happen. ABC 10 News reported that the last Pineapple Express took place in San Diego in January 2005 and suggests that the next Pineapple Express could occur in the next decade or so if the weather is wet and cold enough.

news

federal education ESL TAKES CUTBACKS WHILE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED

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Katherine Gillard × News Editor

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student market globally will grow….But also in internationalizing our curriculum, getting more Canadians to study abroad, these are all things that I think are very positive, and it's only going to keep getting better.... So, I think we have a very bright future in this field.”

Even at CapU, there is a staggering difference between the cost of a resident and an international student. Citizens pay $42 for an application, when an international student must pay $128. Per credit at CapU, resident students pay $117.98 whereas international students pay $525 per credit. This means that full-time international students taking five courses are paying over $2000 more than Canadian residents.

B.C. is already home to 26 per cent of Canada’s international students, and classrooms aren’t getting any bigger. The federal government sees these students as the key to generating jobs and the economy, predicting an increase of 86,000 new jobs in Canada as well as $10 billion to the domestic economy each year following 2022.

The CSU hopes to receive more information on the ESL budget cuts in the coming months.

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going to be offered for free or something but administered under the federal government instead of the provincial government then it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“But if they are going to move forward making it so that ESL isn’t free then we are changing a lot of things. It will change how accessible learning English is to our Canadian residents. So those are the kinds of things we have to figure out,” she continues.

Barnes adds that some of the information doesn’t quite make sense but the CSU is looking further into the issues and hope to have a statement out that has carefully weighed all of the information out in the near future after the government has commented more on how the new funding will work.

Aside from cutting ESL programs, the federal government has been making news for other educational plans. On Jan. 15, they announced that Canada is hoping to attract more international students this coming year. Doubling the number of international students and researchers to 450,000 by 2022 is the aim of the International Education Strategy proposed by the federal government, which will in turn creating jobs and stimulate the economy.

“Well it's only got a bright future. I mean there are two sides to this coin: one is encouraging international students to study in Canada, to study in B.C.,” comments Randall Martin, executive director of B.C. Council for International Education.

“It's anticipated that the size of the international

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“It’s actually quite weird because in 2012, the ministry of advanced education in B.C – I believe it was Naomi Yamamoto – had announced that we were going to be offering tuition-free ESL for residents of Canada… So they made that statement, but they also in April 2012, around the same time, the federal government said that they were going to be cancelling the Canada-B.C. Immigration Agreement, which was how our tuition-free ESL was funded,” says Barnes.

She continues, “It’s kind of weird when you think about it, because why would we announce that we were going to have tuition-free ESL if we had just been told that the federal government was cancelling the agreement we had with them?”

It wasn’t until December that CapU was informed that they would be getting the additional $565,000 cut from their budget. This doesn’t mean that CapU will not be offering ESL anymore, but it does mean that the school will have to go back to the old program where students were charged for the program.

“We’ll have to shift around our operating budgets to cover the cost of those programs. So it does mean that it will be affecting our overall budget.

So we’re trying to look into what it means because the federal government said it’s going to take on administering ESL now so we want to know what that looks like”, adds Barnes. “If they’re just going to offer the same kind of model – if ESL is still

THE CAPILANO COURIER

In December 2013, British Columbia’s Minister of Advanced Education, Amrik Virk, announced that B.C. will be losing millions in funding when the government changes the way English as a Second Language (ESL) is delivered. The federal government has been funding the province under the Canada-B.C. Immigration Agreement, which entitles the province to $22 million per year for ESL programs. However, Virk and his ministry have only received $17 million of this funding.

Worse yet, in April 2012, the federal government announced to B.C. that it was going to cancel the agreement, meaning that these funds would be cut completely. According to Virk, the federal government has still not informed the province how they will be changing the services to thousands of B.C. ESL students.

“Right now we’re basically in the middle of doing research on it because it’s not really a clean cut situation,” comments Brittany Barnes, education issues coordinator for the Capilano Students Union.

These programs were for Canadian residents only, and did not apply to international students.

The funding from the federal government was aimed solely at teaching Canadian residents ESL as part of the Canada-B.C. Immigration Agreement.

For CapU, this means a loss of $565,000 in funding for ESL programs. The CSU is currently working on a plan to help cover these costs and manage the cuts.

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retirees in cap VERTESI AND CAMPBELL STEP DOWN Council for International Education, Vertesi was also awarded a Member Emeritus Award by the Canadian Bureau of International Education.

“She’s just a true global kind of person, wherever she went she just had this air of internationalization in her,” says Chris Carnovale of the faculty of global and community studies.

“Everywhere she went all she was trying to do was to bring this idea that we live in this global world together,” Carnovale adds.

“Twelve years in CapU and countless of contributions to education, working in education is a real privilege. I came to Cap because of a value system that puts students first – at the centre of what we do,” begins Vertesi. “It is wonderful to be surrounded by curious, open minded and committed colleagues. I miss them. But what I will miss the most is seeing close up the transformation in our exchange and field school students and sharing their enthusiasm and excitement for their new perspective on the world.”

Carlo Javier × Staff Writer

After 12 productive and reputable years at CapU, Catherine Vertesi, vice president of international, external relations and new initiatives at CapU announced her retirement this past December.

Vertesi’s departure became a point of interest once her position was removed in CapU’s administration page. Vertesi significantly contributed in developing CapU’s internationalization efforts and won a multitude of awards during her dynamic academic career.

“My role at CapU evolved from my first five years as dean of business programs,” begins Vertesi. “Vancouver and Capilano have always been an attractive destination for students from all of the Asian countries. The West Coast of Canada seems somehow closer to home for their families. Through exchanges we added Finns, Dutch, French, Hungarian, British, Swiss and Austrian students to the CSB classes,” she adds.

In a tribute blog posted on Your Daily Cap, CapU president Kris Bulcroft wrote, “Catherine has left her mark on Capilano University with her spirit, enthusiasm and can-do attitude as well as her innovative approach to education.” Bulcroft further added that, “She has been both a leader and a pioneer in international education in B.C. and beyond, particularly when it comes to student and faculty learning. She will be missed.”

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE POSITION

ANOTHER RETIREE

× Vivian Liu

developing of potential items to use to solve this year’s budget shortfall,” Turner says. Turner also adds that the salary is one of the points to be covered on one of the senate budget advisory forums come February.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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A TRUE GLOBAL PERSON

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Some of the questions floating around upon Vertesi’s retirement are in regards to the fate of her position. The VP of International, External Relations and New Initiatives is no longer listed in CapU’s administration page. It’s also of note that the position owned a salary of $136,000, and when supplemented with benefits, pension and other compensations, the income rises to $166,629.

This is a point of interest particularly due to the well-documented financial issues in the university.

For now, Donna Hooker, director of the centre for International Experience will assume responsibilities. Vertesi gives credit to Hooker for her work in the past three years. Hooker has revamped CapU’s approach and “developed a high touch service” so that CapU can successfully recruit students from a wider range of countries.

As for the salary, it’s currently in limbo. Cindy Turner, vice president of finance and administration says that Vertesi’s salary is still a topic that’s to be discussed in solved in the near future. “Her salary is one of the items on a list we are currently

Vertesi led a career in education that spanned three decades. In 1980, she started as a lecturer in Marketing and Strategic Management in the Faculty of Business Administration at the University of British Columbia. In 2001, Vertesi arrived in CapU as the dean of business.

Vertesi’s decorated career is highlighted by her work in increasing the population of international students in Canadian universities.

“Catherine’s been a major player both provincially and internationally. Out in UBC she helped pioneer some international programs, she did a lot of work at CapU on international terms and really brought them up world standards,” says Randall Martin, executive director of the British Columbia Council for International Education.

“The international part of my role really focuses on developing opportunities for Canadian students to become global citizens – either through their own experience or though working in a classroom that they share with students from all over

the world. It is our obligation as educators to develop intercultural fluency in all of our students because no one will graduate into a mono-cultural world,” explains Vertesi.

Vertesi’s contributions to CapU also resonated with other institutions. “She’s done a number of things in terms of student engagement, faculty participation and internationalization that other people are emulating,” begins Martin. “She’s also been a good ambassador for Canada in terms of representing us in international venues in Europe or Asia.”

However, Vertesi’s focus was not limited to bringing in international students to Canada, she also worked on giving Canadian students the opportunity to study overseas.

“One of the initiatives I undertook was to develop exchange opportunities for Canadian students to go abroad to various partner institutions in Europe,” starts Vertesi. “Of course ‘exchange’ means that CapU receives students from overseas as well and we were particularly interested in broadening the diversity of the foreign students in the CSB classrooms.”

Some of the awards that Vertesi attained throughout her career includes: the 2003 Internationalization Leadership Award, the 2012 Woman of Distinction Award, the 2013 Distinguished Leadership Award from the British Columbia

Vertesi is not the only one who’s recently exited CapU’s grounds. Robert Campbell, dean of arts and social sciences also announced his retirement this past December.

Campbell has been with the university for 35 years, which is made even more impressive considering that he was initially only hired to teach a history course – for one semester.

In a blog entry at Your Daily Cap, Campbell reflected on the memories he’ll cherish during his tenure at CapU. “I shall miss the daily interaction with people, particularly on the fourth floor of Birch. I enjoy the informal conversations about a variety of topics. To be honest, I will miss the people generally. I have got to know employees all over campus, which has been a real positive benefit of this job.”

Campbell was present when the first graduates of both the Applied Behaviour Analysis and Autism degree and the Liberal Studies BA degree took the stage.

Campbell’s busy 35 years in CapU has come to an end, but Bulcroft knows that the upbeat former dean will remain busy in his retirement. As she wrote in Your Daily Cap, “I know he will not sit idle in his retirement, as he is a lifelong learner who is sure to find new books to read, old friends and colleagues to reconnect with, and new causes to make our world a better place. He will always be a member of the Capilano family and I hope we see him often at performing arts events, campus celebrations, and other CapU venues.”

arts + Culture

ANDY RICE ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR

ARTS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

happy neigh year VANCOUVER'S CHINESE COMMUNITY CELEBRATES YEAR OF THE HORSE Alva Tee × Writer Bright colours, exciting dances, and extravagant foods all form an exciting cultural splash for one of Vancouver’s biggest and most traditional events, the Vancouver Chinatown Spring Festival. Since 1974, it has been a great success and a huge attraction bringing in over 50,000 spectators. This year will mark the event’s 41st birthday, with celebrations being held on Feb. 1 and 2 in several locations around the city.

The annual parade is a big part of the festivities.

With about 3,000 participants including the Vancouver Police Department Motorcycle Drill team, marching bands, and various cultural groups, it usually lasts about two hours. This year’s Chinese New Year is in celebration of the year of the horse, one of 12 animals on rotation to represent each year. Shirley Wong, a regular volunteer for the festival, explains the tale of how these particular 12 animals came to be chosen.

“Long ago, the Jade Emperor summoned all animals in the universe for a race to the palace. The first 12 animals that arrived would be used to represent years to come. The order that the animals arrived in is as follows: rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, ram, monkey, chicken, dog, [and] boar.

Along the race, there are many mini tales about why certain animals beat others. One includes that the rat and cat were the best of friends, but the rat failed to remind the cat of the race and arrived at the palace first. This is why the cat hates the rat, and chases the rat in the world today.”

Sneaky critters aside, the Chinese community actually puts a lot of value in animals. They believe that each animal plays an important role in the world, and that they represent important aspects of life.

One of the most prominent traditions during and after the parade is the lion dance. The significance of the lion is very important in the Chinese society; it is

× Ekaterina Aristova

a symbol of good luck and fortune. Often, lions are even built as statues to be placed in front of important buildings such as temples, government houses, and imperial tombs. The dancing lion in the parade is this idea brought to life.

There are three colours of lions most often found in a parade: gold, red, and green. The gold lion represents liveliness, the red represents courage, and the green represents friendship. Having two people in each lion – one at the head and the other for the body – they prance around the participants and parade spectators as a way to spread all of these things, combined with good luck and fortune, to those around them.

“The head of the lion is very heavy,” says Patrick Lang, a lion dancer in the festival for the past 10 years. “Each step is very intricate, and each movement made is very crucial. Bits and parts of ancient Kung Fu are weaved into the dance. When I was younger, I used to be afraid of the lions when they

would approach me. I remember clutching onto my brother and closing my eyes shut tight. The lion’s movements were very jolting and sudden and I did not want the lion to attack me.”

Now a proud participant, Lang goes on to explain why. “My older brother had been a lion dancer and when I was older, I finally asked him why. Upon learning the history behind the development of the dance and the symbolic meaning of the lion, I became inspired. I wanted to be a part of bringing this tradition to the people around me.”

The lion isn’t the only respected animal in the parade though. There is also the dragon. Dragons are believed to possess qualities such as great power, dignity, fertility, wisdom, and success. The mythical creature is considered a river spirit and dragon dancers dance to mimic the free-flowing movement of a river. The longer the dragon’s body is in the dance, the more good luck it is believed will be brought to the community.

After the enchanting acts of the parade are over, the event doesn’t end there. There is also the cultural fair, which will be filled with a variety of Chinese New Year festivities such as multicultural performances, martial arts demonstrations, a lion dance grand finale, and much more. The Chinese New Year banquet will also be going on, and will include more cultural dances, good luck greetings by the Fortune God, live music, and traditional food. There will be plenty of opportunities to explore the celebration in cultural style.

“The Spring Festival is an extraordinary way to experience the culture instead of just hearing about it,” says Lang. “Friendly faces and an open environment. Don’t miss out.”

For more details and information on this year’s events, visit Cbavancouver.ca.

GORE

Born in: 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014

COLUMBIA

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Banquet Gala Feb 2 - 6 p.m.

Floata Seafood Restaurant, 180 Keefer Street. $35 per person.

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Health: Watch your health this year – you’ll get tired and can catch bugs easily. Make exercise and rest a priority.

Festival Parade Feb. 2 - 11 a.m.

Parade route: Starts at Millennium Gate on West Pender Street. Runs along East Pender Street, Gore Avenue, Keefer Street, and ends at corner of Keefer and Carrall Street.

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Relationships: There won’t be a lot of excitement in your love life, and if you are engaged, you might want to delay your marriage until next year.

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KEEFER

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Wealth: Don’t expect to make a lot of money, and value the income you have.

Cultural Fair Feb. 1 - 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.

Feb. 2 - 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

Chinese Cultural Centre/Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Courtyard, 50 East Pender Street.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Work: Those in positions of authority will do well, but chancy business, like the stock market, is a bad idea.

E. PENDER

ZODIAC FOR THE YEAR OF THE HORSE

VANCOUVER CHINATOWN SPRING FESTIVAL 2014 EVENTS

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arts + Culture

strength from within GRAPHIC NOVEL ADDRESSES STRUGGLE AND STIGMA OF ANOREXIA Paisley Conrad × Writer Professional illustrator Emily McGratten and her sister-in-law Karen, a psychotherapist and public speaker, are writing a graphic novel. However, it's not your typical, run-of-the-mill fantastical graphic novel punctuated by fight scenes, super heroes, and epic proportions. In fact, the only proportions to be found are those of Karen McGratten’s 20-year-old self, a young adult battling with anorexia nervosa; wiTHIN is the story of her struggle with her eating disorder, her admittance into a rehabilitation centre, and her subsequent treatment and recovery. Described as a story of “desperation, helplessness, grace, and hope,” the project aims to connect to the reader in a therapeutic and genuine way.

Karen wrote wiTHIN because of an urgency she felt in sharing her story. “I feel like if people just talked more, then they wouldn't have to struggle,” she says. “I want people to know that they aren't alone.”

In North America, where one in five adolescents are reportedly struggling with some form of eating disorder or related mental illness, it's likely that everyone knows someone who is battling some form of mental health issue. However, despite the widespread nature of this problem, there is still a negative stigma attached to it, making it difficult for those suffering to come forward and be frank about their experiences. Karen is hopeful for the future, but remains realistic about her societal expectations. “Eating disorders survive in secrecy, but a change in society is starting as awareness develops,” she says. “We do still have a long way to go though, when it comes to thinking about

mental health issues like we do physical health.”

Karen herself has been seriously writing the project for the last two years, with Emily signing on in the last year and a half. The idea for a graphic novel sprung up several years ago from a basement conversation between Karen, her brother, and his wife, Emily. They were discussing recovery from mental illness, and the topic of comic books came up. Karen's brother grew up avidly reading comics and graphic novels, and suggested that there be a fusion between that particular medium and the issue of recovery. “Through talking about it together we came to the conclusion that it would be fun to work on it together, and we were able use my comic making abilities to tell her story in a different way than a regular book,” says Emily, who at the time was in school at Ontario College of Art and Design. “It's a more unique way of telling a story. When you use a combination of words and imagery together, you can evoke a response, especially emotionally, and draw that person in more than if it were just an image, or just words.”

The dialogue and self-reflection will also delve into other issues closely linked to anorexia, such as anxiety, post-traumatic-stress-disorder and depression. “We talk about my struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder too, in a humorous way,” says Karen. “I remember I was trying to battle my OCD by not making my bed for a weekend, and as I would get out of bed in the morning I would be pulling up the sheets with my toes to try and cheat that way. That's so crazy, but it's really funny to look back on, and I laugh at that now.”

× Emily McGratten Using the popular fundraising website Kickstarter to fund their project in the fall of 2013, the pair managed to beat their $3000 goal by raising $3308. “Writing and illustrating costs more money than simply typing on a computer,” remarks Karen. In addition to material costs, she and Emily have made the courageous decision to self-publish.

“We wanted to keep authenticity in the story. We weren't going to dumb things down, or go over the top to grab the audience’s eye. The story itself is very genuine and honest, and I think that it's not always pretty. We use words that perhaps aren't socially conventional, but that's reality. It's raw, and it's how it's meant to be.”

In a variety of ways, putting together wiTHIN has been uncharted territory for both of the McGrattens. Emily remarks that despite her wide range of experience as a freelance illustrator, “I’ve never done a project so close and personal to me, and definitely not such a large scale project.”

wiTHIN will be released in three parts in the spring of 2014. It will be available to order online and also at Vancouver Comic Arts Festival, held May 24 and 25. The McGrattens are looking to further distribute the graphic novels on a local setting, as Emily is stationed on the West Coast, and Karen is in Ontario.

“I'd love it if it became a book that therapists recommended to their clients,” says Karen. “It's not about making money, truly. If it helps one person, then at the end of the days that's one less person who feels alone and stigmatized.”

For more information about Karen Mcgratten, and for helpful links for those interested in gaining a deeper understanding of eating disorders and how to get help, visit Karenmcgratten.wordpress.com.

For more information about Emily Mcgratten, and to see her portfolio, go to Emilymcgratten.com.

The first chapter of the book is available online at Withincomic.wordpress.com.

Benson Builds A Snowman CAP ANIMATOR IS PART OF A DISNEY HIT Carlo Javier

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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× Staff Writer

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Within the deep, deep, deep ice and snow that encapsulated the kingdom of Arendelle is a new Disney classic that strays away from the conventional story about love. This one spotlights the unbreakable bond shared by sisters, princesses, and main characters of Frozen, Anna and Elsa.

Frozen is one of the biggest hits this winter. The film has garnered near-universal critical acclaim and has already grossed more than $700 million at the box office, just two months after its release. It currently holds an impressive 89 per cent fresh rating on Rottentomatoes.com, as well as a multitude of accolades including an Academy Award nomination for Best Animated Feature and a Golden Globe Award for Best Animated Feature.

The animated musical has received further heaps of praise as Disney’s finest work since its “renaissance” era, which yielded classics such as The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and The Lion King.

Also found within the film is a hint of Capilano University’s influence. Three CapU graduates – Benson Shum, Clio Chiang, and Sarah Airriess – have been credited for their work on Frozen’s development team.

Shum, who graduated from the Commercial Animation Program in 2000, says his training at CapU gave him many of the foundational skills he used on the project. “I learned traditional animation at Cap, and 2D drawing knowledge,” he

explains. “It really helped me apply the principles of animation to 3D computer animation.”

His work on Frozen was in both pre-development and production.

“I am an animator at Disney. I was helping out with development before we started animation production,” says Shum. “I helped develop the behaviours and characteristic of how [the characters] moved. Then, when we were in full production, I was an animator on it,” he adds.

“My experience on this film was amazing. I learned so much from all the mentors I looked up to and my colleagues. It’s like school all over again. Frozen is such a classic Disney film that I was ecstatic when I learned I could be a part of it. I'm also a huge fan of musicals, so that was an added bonus.”

However, the success of Frozen is not Shum’s first hand in a major feature film. He was also in the animation team of another recent Disney hit, Wreck-It Ralph. “Wreck-It Ralph was my first show at Disney,” Shum begins. “That was great as well.

The story was really compelling, especially with the idea of the 8-bit games, which I grew up playing.

Wreck-It Ralph -- a story about an arcade game villain who decides to turn his life around and become the hero - figures to be starkly different from Frozen, but it turns out that the nature of animation between the two is also contrasting.

"Wreck-It Ralph was a completely different style of animation than Frozen,” explains Shum.

“I worked a lot with the character King Candy. He

was very cartoony, which is something I haven't had much experience doing in my career, so that was a great learning curve.”

In both features, Shum had lessons to learn, particularly with regards to simplicity. “I learned to keep things simple,” he says. “A shot can last for only one or two seconds, so you want to make it as clear as possible or the shot won't read and people could be confused. I learned about appeal, and what makes Disney animation Disney, what separates Disney from other studios.”

Both films also shy away from Disney’s traditional prince-princess love formula -- particularly with Frozen, which is the first Disney film to ever have two princesses as the main characters. Frozen is also one of the very few Disney films to focus on the bond between siblings. “Having placed two princesses as the main characters is something Disney hasn't done before,” explains Schum. “I think it’s so great that the princesses pick sibling love over the prince-princess love story. That’s very refreshing.”

Shum further elaborates on the importance of pushing boundaries, particularly for a classic studio like Disney. “I do believe it’s important that Disney is continuing to push films that are classics, yet have a modern take on the classic fairy tales, and also doing something completely different. Both Frozen and Wreck-It Ralph are great examples of Disney doing something that is not conventional Disney, and with such compelling stories and characters.”

With Frozen and Wreck-It Ralph under his belt, Shum’s career with Disney and animation is only getting started. He’s currently with the animation team for Disney’s next feature, Big Hero 6.

“I love animation, and I hope to continue to do this for a while,” he says. “I hope we as an industry try to keep pushing and experimenting with new and old technology to see what we can achieve to push this great art form to the next level.”

× Kelsey Holden

Arts + Culture

Toque Sessions foster tight knit music scene ARTISTS WILL PERFORM 12 FREE CONCERTS Andy Rice × Arts + Culture Editor CBC’s downtown Vancouver production centre is a constant hive of activity. It’s the kind of place where worlds collide and history is made, housing everything from mainstream television and news programs to quirky radio podcasts that bring love and attention to a variety of lesser known Canadian talent.

One of the biggest collaborations between the CBC’s various media departments is the annual Toque Sessions concert series. Each winter, a lucky crowd of music-lovers is invited downstairs to Studio 1 and treated to an intimate performance by some of British Columbia’s most beloved and exciting musicians. Not only is such an event unique to the CBC, but it only happens in Vancouver, and only on 12 nights per year, for only 150 people per night.

“The CBC is about engaging with its audience and we really believe in creating these fun and amazing free events that we can invite people to, and that’s why we do it,” says CBC Senior Music Producer Michael Juk. “It’s an opportunity for us to bring people into their public broadcaster down at 700 Hamilton Street.”

The idea began five years ago, prior to the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics. “When we were developing a name for it we wanted something that sort of reflected the winter feel and so we came up with the Toque Sessions,” he adds. “The name stuck and so has the series.”

Juk and his team have chosen an eclectic mix of talents and genres to perform at this year’s sessions, the first of which kicked off on Jan. 23 with country-pop singers Hayley and Jess Moskaluke.

Running every Thursday and Friday until Feb. 28,

the lineup in coming weeks includes violin virtuoso Hannah Epperson, indie-pop darlings Said the Whale, country crooner Dean Brody, jazz drummer Dan Brubeck, and a collaboration between singer-songwriter Hannah Georgas and Mother Mother frontman Ryan Guldemond.

“I think every year we try to identify the musicians that people are talking about, the musicians that have new projects, and the musicians that people are most excited about, and those are the artists that we approach,” says Juk. Blues-rock duo The Harpoonist and the Axe Murderer also made the list this year, and are slated to perform on Thursday, Feb. 13. The band’s guitarist, Matthew “the Axe Murderer” Rogers, is a Capilano alumnus from the university’s college past. He also took part in the very first CBC Toque session as a sideman for C.R. Avery and still has one of the special custom toques given to performers that year. “It’s pretty cool to be going back and playing with my own band,” he says.

His partner in crime, vocalist and harmonica player Shawn “The Harpoonist” Hall, admits to being a bit in awe of this year’s performers. “I didn’t think we’d be sharing the list with so many people that we’ve known and met in the last few years,” he says. “It feels like the family is closer than you’d imagine when you look at a lineup like that.”

Like Rogers, indie-folk band Good For Grapes will also be returning for their second Toque Session. “CBC’s always been really good to us,” says lead singer and guitarist Daniel McBurnie.

“They’re giving us and all these other bands a great opportunity to be heard. Just the fact that it’s a free

show is really nice so that fans get to come and watch it, but more so it’s broadcast so it’s a really good opportunity to get your live music out there.”

Holding the sessions in CBC’s Studio 1 allows a crew of technical staff to not only produce a live concert each night, but high definition audio and video as well. “Every single minute of every show is going to be recorded and played out on all of our various platforms – CBC Television, CBC online, CBCmusic.ca, Radio One and Radio Two,” says Juk, “so these Toque Sessions concerts give us really great programming.”

They also give 150 people the thrill of seeing their favourite B.C. musicians – many of whom have begun to gain popularity and play larger and larger venues -- up close and personal once again.

“It’s like a little conversation with you and the people that are there, so I think that’s really nice,” says McBurnie. “It’s kind of a rare opportunity.”

That one-on-one connection is what’s kept the CBC Toque Sessions firmly rooted in their current location, despite the temptation to expand them to a larger venue. “From the artist’s point of view it’s a really intimate thing, and for the audience it’s a really close-up thing that they can’t see anywhere else,” says Juk. “We like that unique niche.”

For more information on this year’s CBC Toque Sessions and the artists performing, visit CBC.ca/bc/ community. Seating is limited, and on a first-comefirst-seated basis. A rush line will begin at 6:30 p.m. outside the CBC lobby on each performance day.

CBC TOQUE SESSIONS Feb. 6...................................Good For Grapes Feb. 7...................................Hannah Epperson Feb. 13...........The Harpoonist & the Axe Murderer Feb. 14........................Blackie & the Rodeo Kings Feb. 20.......................................Said the Whale Feb. 21...........................................Dean Brody Feb. 27...............................Dan Brubeck Quartet Feb. 28........Hannah Georgas & Ryan Guldemond

Good For Grapes

The Harpoonist and the Axe Murderer

pushing boundaries PERFORMING ARTS FESTIVAL HAS CAPU CONNECTIONS

out how to work with others.”

And although his initial idea has expanded and changed in many ways since the initial pitch, Memarzadeh says it’s only been for the better. “The other 21 [people] in the group attached themselves to it and we gave up ownership and it became ours. Just seeing how it’s evolved with everyone’s influence and everyone’s participation, it’s really beautiful to me that we can take one person’s idea as a jumping off point and go so far and create such great work like what we’re doing.”

For more information on A Presence of Monster and Antonio Zambujo, or to buy tickets for any of the other remaining performances, readers may visit Pushfestival.ca.

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the initial concept to the class. “A king goes and beds five women and then the five women have five kids and then he’s banished to the moon and then after a while he wants to come back down to earth and reclaim his throne.”

From there, the story expands in a variety of directions – the kids grow up and reconnect with their father. There’s a superhero battle, and even an encounter with an Elvis impersonator in a trailer park.

“The show is essentially about how every individual has their own different kind of story,” says Memarzadeh. “There’s two sides to everything so it’s really ignorant just to look at one side of something and then immediately make a judgment. What we’re striving to do is be looking at both sides of the coin and how those stories kind of resonate within us.”

From music to costumes, every aspect of the production has been handled by students, with some help and guidance from their teachers.

“There’s no one director and no one person that’s the head honcho of the entire show,” he explains.

“For me, it’s a brand new way of working and it brings its positives and it brings its negatives and it’s just a new way of looking at things and figuring

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For 10 years, a festival has existed in Vancouver to celebrate originality and innovation in the performing arts. Performers of all mediums, genres, and personalities are summoned for 20 days in January to share and to show. The festival is called PuSh, and it aims to do exactly that.

“There’s no other festival like it in this city and probably in this country,” says Fiona Black, director of programming for Capilano University’s BlueShore Financial Centre for the Performing Arts. “I love that it’s a festival based on taking risks and presenting pretty risky performances and performers.”

For the past five years, Black has partnered with the PuSh Performing Arts Festival to co-present a handful of performances at the theatre each winter. This year was no exception. Ethiopian blues trio the Krar Collective took the stage on Jan. 25, and an upcoming performance by Portuguese fado

singer Antonio Zambujo is scheduled for 8 p.m. on Feb. 2.

“I feel Antonio is a good fit because although he’s singing a fairly traditional style, he definitely pushes the boundaries of what fado is,” says Black.

“He adventures into other musical styles, he brings his own personality, his own originality to the traditional form, and there’s no one in fado who sounds like him.”

Fado is musically distinctive to Portugal, much like flamenco is to Spain. “It’s kind of like the national musical style, its most famous one,” she says.

“It has some pathos, it has sadness, but it also has a lot of joy and beauty in the music, too.”

Across the Capilano University campus, students in the bachelor of performing arts program are exploring a wide range of emotions in their craft as well. A group of 22 cohort members have been hard at work for the past four months writing and rehearsing for their PuSh Festival debut. Only the second graduating class in the program’s history, the students will present A Presence of Monster from Jan. 30 to Feb. 1 at the Roundhouse.

“We’ve created our own classical myth,” says cohort member Arash Memarzadeh, who pitched

THE CAPILANO COURIER

We at the Capilano Courier regret that an article on the 2014 PuSh Performing Arts Festival, published in our Jan. 6 issue, contained errors and omissions regarding this year’s lineup of performers. Although much of the festival has now taken place, the following events may be of particular interest to readers.

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art shorts the skins ORPHEUM, JAN. 21 Gabriel Scorgie × Writer It’s not every night that first of three bands is the one that gets the crowd up and moving and it’s even more rare at a venue as small and formal as the Orpheum. However, that is exactly what happened when The Skins came to town in support of Jake Bugg. A refreshing rock band from Brooklyn, they got the crowd moving right away opening with “Surf ” off of their 2012 EP Wreck Room and kept on building momentum all the way through their set until closing with the song that got almost the entire theater bouncing: “Summertime”. It’s hard to believe that most of the members of this

KRISTI ALEXANDRA ART SHORTS EDITOR

band are still in high school. The lead singer was confident, comfortable, and sexy on stage sounding like a mix between Adele and Janis Joplin and had no problem belting out lyrics on songs like “Ocean”. Bluesy, distorted guitar solos filled the theatre during “Ocean” and “Summertime” giving members of the audience no choice but to cheer.

Even the drummer was able to get a solo in. Always trying to get the crowd involved they kept asking everyone to dance, pointing out that, “That’s what the aisles are for,” and even had the crowd sing parts of a chorus. For a young, up-and-coming band that doesn’t even have a full album out yet, they left with more than a handful of new fans last night. Next time they are in town, it’s unlikely they will be opening for anybody. Expect to see them paying their dues headlining at the Commodore.

her A THEATRE NEAR YOU Austin Landry

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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× The Argosy (Mount Allison University)

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SACKVILLE (CUP) — E.M. Forster said to “only connect,” but how far did he expect us to carry that? Spike Jonze, the director of Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, answers with Her, arguably the best film of 2013. In the age of blockbusters and sequels, here is a movie so original that it surprised me as much in its last 30 minutes as it did in its first Jonze’s latest work concerns itself with Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix), a writer for BeautifulHandwrittenLetters.com. He has an immense knack for what he does simply because he, like Jonze (who also scripted the film), has a keen eye for human nature. Twombly is a lonely man, and much like Jack Lemmon in The Apartment, when left to his own devices, his thoughts linger on how he longs for more connection with those around him. This is a Spike Jonze script, though, and he doesn’t explore just the longing most of us encounter at one point or another. He asks the questions “How can one approach relationships differently?” and “How does one process heartbreak?” Phoenix has exceeded expectations with the astounding variety of work he’s done, from Gladiator to Walk the Line to The Master, but nothing he’s done approaches his performance here. He is flawlessly endearing and just subtle enough when delivering the lines which channel his deepest, most tender meditations on love. Most actors I can think of would see such raw dialogue and be unable to resist the temptation of playing

them up; however, that would result only in contrived melodrama. Phoenix wisely maintains the right amount of restraint that his very introverted character requires. Scarlett Johansson voices Samantha, an operating system whom Twombly develops a relationship with. More than holding her own, Johansson gives the best, most nuanced vocal performance I’ve ever heard, though unsurprising on the whole, the fact that neither she nor Phoenix received Oscar nominations for their work here is nothing short of highway robbery.

Working with cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (The Fighter, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), Jonze bathes his quasi-futuristic Los Angeles scape with warm, serene light; it seeps from the screen like an embrace. Quebec’s Arcade Fire scored the film with music that never distracts, instead dancing gracefully alongside its poetic settings.

Her is a movie that examines love in a way we’ve never seen before, but it’s also one of the funniest of the year. Jonze throws one original concept after another into his film. For instance, early on in the film, Twombly is playing an interactive video game that requires him to more or less “play along” with the game’s character in order to move forward. Have we ever thought of video games in such a way? Jonze explores this possibility as well as a dozen others in Her. Whether or not we find these concepts intriguing, confusing, off-putting, honest, or forward-thinking, we can at least admire Jonze’s ability to move through them with such mastery that it seems effortlessly achieved.

That is a mark of a great filmmaker.

COPY@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

justin timberlake ROGERS ARENA, JAN. 16 Kristi Alexandra × Copy Editor If there’s any fault that Justin Timberlake possesses, it’s that he’s just too likeable. From leaving his ultra-crappy boy band to making music that, well, actually sounds listenable, to his unflagging loyalty to any girlfriend he’s ever had, to the fact that his stint in comedy and acting proves he can laugh at himself, he’s quickly become America’s sweetheart.

Last Thursday night’s show at Rogers Arena proved that even ironic admirers of JT found themselves liking him, now, not-so-ironically. Kicking off an energy-filled three-hour set, Timberlake busted out “Pusher Love Girl”, simultaneously busting out dance moves while never missing a note. With all of his dancers and backing band members, and of course himself, dressed in form-fitting formal dress, it was clear that it was to be a classy event.

After hammering out favourites like “Future Sex/ Love Sound” and “My Love”, the ex-Mickey Mouse Club member came out with his most recent hit “TKO”. Timberlake hit his notes so clearly and perfectly that it was hard to believe he wasn’t lip-synching save for the fact he would interject some charming lines in his lilting southern

accent. It could be said it was a “total knock out.”

Just before leaving the stage for intermission, Jessica Biel’s beau rehashed his song from the early 2000s rumoured to be a stab at his ex, Ms. Britney Spears. “Cry Me A River” had all Timberlake’s long-time fans singing along, and raising fists at the sky to Ms. Spears. That slut. Coming back to the stage just 10 minutes later, Timberlake had a brief moment playing a white Baby Grand piano for his fans, before regaling the crowd with more vintage-JT like “Senorita”. That’s all before the stage lifted, Timberlake and dancers on board, and floated over the audience for a mobile dancecapade complete with lasers. For the truly vintage, Timberlake even impressed those who grew up in the ‘50s by grabbing a guitar and serenading the crowd with Elvis’ “Heartbreak Hotel”. Nearing midnight, Timberlake and his troupe kicked up the energy even more, electrifying fans with covers of Kool & the Gang’s “Jungle Boogie” and Bell Biv DeVoe’s “Poison”, and wrapping his set with the ever-popular “Suit & Tie” and “Mirrors” — a clear ode to his wifey, the incredibly lucky Biel.

If anyone entered Rogers Arena as a JT skeptic, they left as a fan.

lorde PURE HEROINE Paisley Conrad × Writer “Don't you think that it's boring how people talk?” Lorde questions her listener in her familiar, sulky brood in opening track, “Tennis Court”. Yes Lorde, we do. But what we don't find boring at all is her debut album, Pure Heroine. With grand sweeping vocals over-laying minimalistic beats, her debut has kept her on the charts for longer than anyone could have expected a 16-year-old Tumblr fanatic from New Zealand. While indie pop music on the whole has been moving in a grand, more orchestral direction lately (Lana Del Rey and Marina and the Diamonds come to mind), Lorde's debut is back to basics. Her back tracks are simple and percussion-driven, with layers of synth and her own harmonies. Fragile piano lines pepper the album, as mysterious fingers snap in the distance.

While her vocals are strong, and the music compelling, it's her confident yet delicate lyrics that propel the album to its present status. Remarking that “we're hollow like the bottles that we drain/

we might be hollow but we're brave,” Lorde presents a view of adolescence from an outsider, an observer of her fellow teen. While the album has considerable depth, many of the observations she makes are flippant in nature, as she whispers that “I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air/So there.” On another track, “Glory and Gore”, she compares a gladiator ring to societies obsession with celebrity gossip, and destructive rumours. Throwing a bone to her fans on the popular blogging platform Tumblr, she mentions, “the notes from my admirers fill my dashboard just the same.” On the verge of being grossly overplayed is “Royals”, an honest and scathing take on the consumerism gripping the youth of today.

She muses on the fact that the lives of the rich and fabulous are unattainable, and that she is quite alright with that fact. Ending with an invitation to “Let 'em talk”, Lorde has managed to book-end a brilliant social commentary well beyond her years.

Cap You

THE CULTURAL SIDE OF CAMPUS

ON CLUBS WHY JOINING A CLUB IS MORE THAN JUST A MEETING

HAVE A COOL IDEA? START YOUR OWN CLUB! FOLLOW THREE EASY STEPS:

FIND THREE MEMBERS (including yourself) Find two others with the same interest! It can be a current registered student, faculty, or staff.

GRAB A CLUB APPLICATION PACKAGE (about seven pages long) It will ask for: the club name, mission statement, purposes/aims, and the club liaison It will include: the policy package (showing what the CSU’s policies are and what to do regarding finances/memberships/guidelines) and the constitution (a sample one for students to follow or how to create their own).

× Shirley Wu

Alva Tee × Writer There are many clubs on campus that have a mission to provide remarkable experiences for students at CapU. If we took the time to explore, we would most likely find ourselves amongst extraordinary people who might share the same interests as we do. The opportunities are endless, with almost 30 clubs on campus. The trick is to simply look around.

Being at a university that is very programbased, it is easy for students to isolate themselves in their own program. Finding chances to mingle with people from different faculties can become (dilemma.) Thankfully, there is a club dedicated to constructing projects for students in other programs to unite.

CLUB COLLABORATIVE

THE CAPILANO GATHERERS

RAD CLUBS ON CAMPUS

PSYCHOCENTRICS Those with similar career interests have also gotten together to enrich themselves with knowledge and opportunities through being accustomed with the idea of networking. The aspiring psychologists of CapU have taken the ropes to do so for themselves.

2. CU Network Club The CU Network club is divided into Anime Invasion and Gamer Corner. It is the perfect place for you to discuss interests in anime, manga, and cosplay. Meetings are once a week in Birch166 for Anime Invasion on Wednesdays from 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., and Thursdays in Maple101 from 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. for Gamer Corner. It’s a fun place to hangout and you’ll be sure to meet some cool new people.

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3. Capilano Maker Space Love technology or want to learn more about it? Here is where you can share your ideas, equipment, and comments for anything to do with technology! Swing by on Fridays from 1 to 4:30 p.m. in Fir 207 to meet up with your fellow engineers.

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Joy McLeod, president of the Psychocentrics Club, describes her experience in the club. “I’ve had the opportunity to interact with psychologists, and I also have the pleasure of getting to know the psychology faculty better. They’re very supportive about the group.”

With academic interest in mind, instructors and professors are heavily on board with the club’s mandate and thirst to learn. Using that to her best advantage, McLeod brings in speakers from psychology industry to help the Psychocentrics network.

“You have a network of people you can use for studying, better study skills, and broadening your thoughts,” says McLeod. “There’s so much knowledge circulating among our peers that if we don’t ask, we’d never get the chance to know. This academic opportunity allows us to share our thoughts with each other.”

Whether we’re looking to take a break from schoolwork, find those with similar interests, or to further our skills in life, doing it all with a group of people can be so much more empowering. Join a club and discover what it’s like to expand life experiences in many different ways. It’s about being fearless and unafraid to take action when opportunities present themselves.

Human Kinetics Student Council Meetings every Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. in Birch 263, this is a club throwing many social and scholarly events. If you’ve ever been interested in promoting on campus health and fitness, this is your place to be. Drop by and become the newest member of the council!

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Projects involving a variety of people are not the only way to associate with students from a different faculty. The common interest of a simple card game can be enough to bring a group of people together. The hours of fun the Capilano Gatherers spend with each other are the perfect example.

“It’s a great way to build community and I just love it. It’s something I can do during the day to get away from my studies,” shares Ryan Siverns, co-founder of the Capilano Gatherers.

His passion for the Magic card game began in high school with his friend, Liam Dunne. They would often play together with their friends and immediately saw the dedication that people were willing to put into playing the game. “Anyone can find excitement in this game. Yeah, it’s a pretty typically nerdy game,” admits Siverns. “But we get people from all different faculties showing interest. From business to music to general sciences to

liberal arts to drama, it’s all pretty diverse.”

There’s plenty of time to join in on the excitement because while one game lasts anywhere from five minutes to a half hour, Siverns and other club members are usually around for an hour or two.

Eventually, they hope to throw a big event called the “Draft” where numerous people will convene to play Magic.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

This is a club that aspires to provide a forum for students in different programs to work together at CapU. Founded a few years ago by Mustaali Raj, he shares his story behind the vision he hoped for the club to achieve.

“When I was studying, I noticed that a lot of students were working only in their own disciplines.

There was so much diversity in the programs at our school, yet there was no collaboration. Everyone would work in their own bubble,” he continues, “I thought it was unfortunate because there was so much potential…The idea behind Club Collaborative is that it would be a platform for students to work together and build projects that span out to different disciplines.”

An example of this idea coming to life through the club is the student creation of a magazine called The Liar Collectives. This is the result of the creative writing and illustration/design students working together. The students in the creative writing program provide poems and written segments to the magazine, while those in the IDEA program construct artistic visuals to go alongside the poetry. Now, a different issue of this magazine comes out every semester.

“There’s so much possibility for crossover to

work on projects together,” notes Raj. “The next big film director could be right next to your building, and you wouldn’t even know unless you reached out.”

While being in a club is sure to be a fun experience, there are also many things to take away from it. Raj says that there are three things he has learned from being in a club. “One, you’re going to learn real world skills, how to work, collaborate, and get along with people from different disciplines,” he continues. “Two, so much knowledge and expertise get shared. Three, you make meaningful connections and you learn ways to solve more complex problems.”

Raj describes a situation on how things you learn from joining a club can be applied in the real world. “Instead of, ‘How do I design a poster for an ad?’ It now becomes, ‘How do I work with this business student to get the best angles to advertise and see what works right now?’ All in all, everything you learn will help create a stronger sense of community on campus.”

SUBMIT YOUR APPLICATION (to the Services Coordinator in CSU Maple Building Lounge) It will be brought to the board of directors for approval. If the mission statement works, there aren’t any changes to be made, and the right signatures were given – it will be approved and you will be notified by the services coordinator.

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FEATURES

THERESE GUIEB FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S . C A P C O U R I E R @ G M A I L . C O M

Looks like we need a makeover

× Ksenia Kozhevnikova

Romila Barryman

How Canada is dealing with harmful chemical ingredients in today's cosmetics

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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× Writer

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Between the Canada Consumer Product Safety Act, Canada's Cosmetic Regulations, Health Canada, and Environment Canada, it would seem that Canada’s consumer population is free to purchase daily essentials without knowing the dangers of toxins seeping into these products. Little do we know that over 4,000 substances are still being assessed and loopholes in regulations have attracted organizations such as the David Suzuki Foundation, who are demanding more transparency and a stricter ban on chemical ingredients.

The foundation expressed that the Canada Consumer Product Safety Act merely advises on the labeling of products. In fact, words such as “herbal” and “organic” do not have a concrete legal definition and can therefore be used in naming products even though it may not uphold its true meaning. Although Health Canada has created an archive of prohibited and restricted substances, entitled the “Cosmetic Ingredient Hotlist,” it has no legal authority to enforce and ensure that they can control the products that hit the shelves.

“It starts with the nature of the legislation in both Canada and the United States back in 1976,” begins Gillian Deacon, author of There’s Lead in Your Lipstick. “These chemicals have been used for a long time but are only recently becoming connected with health concerns.”

But is all make-up just make-up? Make-up artist, Shaily Kleinsorge, argues that quality of overthe-counter brands is not in the same league as the items she uses in her professional career. “I wouldn’t band them up together,” she expresses, “I love the creativity that comes with make-up artistry, but I would never use a product on a client that I wouldn’t put on myself.”

In both cases, transparency is needed for cus-

tomers to choose healthier products that have quality ingredients, as well as in their prices.

Movements that have been made through Health Canada’s Cosmetic Regulation now ensure that ingredients must be listed in standard terminology.

DON’T LABEL ME With the majority of cosmetic products containing five syllable ingredients, it’s difficult to decipher how exactly toothpaste and mascara can be linked to threats of cancer. “It’s not just cancer, it’s things like headaches, organ damage, and learning disabilities,” stresses Deacon. “It’s not just a problem for women either, there’s toothpaste and hand sanitizer. There’s so many chemicals in our everyday world so I try to educate people about a little bit of how we got into a world where chemicals are created and can be used freely in products.”

Deacon is one of the many advocates for natural ingredient products in Canada, alongside many organizations such as the Environmental Defense and EcoJustice, who are not just voicing concerns but also trying to implement new laws to create safety for consumers. Deacon suggests one simple rule for swerving around toxins linked to carcinogens. “The more unrecognizable and unpronounceable the ingredients are on the back of the product, the more you can be sure that they are made in a lab and contain health risks.”

A unanimous agreement between the David Suzuki Foundation, Health Canada, and other online resources mark parabens as the number one substance on their watch list. “When you use sunscreen one summer and use it next summer, parabens are what keeps it smelling the same,” reveals Deacon. “They are hormone-disrupting

chemicals and almost all personal products have them because they elongate the shelf life.” The David Suzuki Foundation reported that in most cases, parabens are not disclosed in cosmetic products as manufacturers can consider them to be a “trade secret.” Although found naturally in some foods, where they would otherwise be metabolized, the foundation also reports that applying parabens directly onto the skin through cosmetic products “bypass the metabolic process and enter the blood stream and body organs intact.”

Phthalates is another high-ranking substance warned to have incredible risks. “Sometimes you can tell it’s in the products by the smell. Some people like those perfumey smells but the reason why they work is because of phthalates,” explains Deacon. Also known as plasticizers, phthalates are also found in many plastic products as well as cosmetics, and are reported to be hormone disrupting as well. The Canadian Cancer Society report that when checking for phthalates in the cosmetic ingredient list, to be sure to look for the full name, such as “dibutyl phthalate” and “diethyl phthalate”.

Despite ongoing research and campaigns around these substances and their imminent risks, the gap in turning these warnings into laws have been waitlisted until further notice. “We do see research linking but it’s so tough to get legislation to protect consumers and prevent consumers from using these cosmetics. I guess the challenge is it’s very hard to prove an immediate and direct correlation with an ingredient and health concern,” says Deacon.

Kleinsorge’s approach, however, is one of choice and education. “I think instead of banning parabens, they should be required to put it on the front label so it’s not out of sight, out of mind.” Critics of the campaigns have voiced strongly against a

ban on cosmetics. Kleinsorge’s experience in the industry has led her to a similar conclusion. “Educate the people but let the people make their own choices,” she emphasizes. “I don’t like the idea of someone making choices for others.”

I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A ZIT AIN’T ONE For performer Freeman Lam, his skin condition is a daily concern for him. Although he is suffering from severe eczema, his Chinese roots have allowed him to tackle the issue with traditional natural remedies. Sourcing from a deficit in the immune system, eczema often causes rashes and, in defense, the body responds by growing an extra layer of skin to protect the original skin. According to Damon Ramsey, instructor for the UBC department of family medicine, over six million people in Canada suffer from the long-lasting condition. “Eczema is very common; it's basically an inflammatory condition where your immune system is essentially attacking itself. It's characterized with itchiness, scale skin, dry skin, red skin,” says Ramsey. In Lam’s case, toxins are of high concern.

“For a normal person, when you sweat it would be water but instead, as a person with eczema, my sweat contains the toxins otherwise cleaned through my immune system,” notes Lam. With over 23,000 people in Canada diagnosed with the skin condition, almost half are prescribed pills to counter the problem. Lam is one person of the small percentage of people who does not.

However, it doesn’t make Lam a less avid visitor at his family doctor’s clinic. The only difference is that his prescriptions are not taken through ingestion. “I get ointments through my family doc-

tor and it includes cortisone, which burns off the skin instead of allowing you to itch it off,” explains Lam. “The doctor recommends you to use three times a day, but because it burns off skin, it makes it very vulnerable.”

Though eczema is a common skin condition, Ramsey suggests that there is still more research that needs to be done. “At the very core though, I don't think Western medicine understands why eczema happens, although it seems to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors,” he continues, “but I'm not trying to imply that Eastern medicine understands it either.”

Lam’s mother, who is a reflexologist and owns a health supplement store, creates regimens and diet plans for individuals suffering from health problems who are looking for a natural way to heal. Lam’s diet includes a minimum of 52 types of food and he has been on the regimen since grade seven.

“My body is able to produce more hair and my sweat is less irritating to me…it really comes down to eating,” explains Lam. When it’s time to perform however, Lam turns to popular brands in the form of foundation and concealers. As a result, he suffers the consequences of irritation for over three days after using the products. “I would go home and wash it off. Then the process was literally having to scratch my face with a towel to take the dead skin off. It would be like an open wound,” recalls Lam. Ramsey warns that eczema-like effects as a consequence of using make-up can also be found from people allergic to cosmetic products. “Some cases of eczema [are] completely random and then there are certain cases where there is an element of trigger,” he explains. “In adults, often, contact dermatitis is often mistaken for eczema. That's when you get something like nickel and your skin reacts to it immediately. It has similar looking conditions but cannot be treated similarly.”

According to Deacon, there are a range of alternative products that use natural ingredients, including Alberta-based Rocky Mountaineer Soaps. “I’ve always recommended people to test one out and see the ones you like,” says Deacon. With natural ingredients costing a lot more and adding to the prices of safer products, Deacon suggests that perhaps a better alternative may be to make your own cosmetics,

which she describes extensively in her book.

“I don’t believe you have to spend a ton of money to look good. It’s true, the more popular companies cost less because synthetic ingredients are cheaper but there are other choices,” notes Deacon.

Deacon says buying products in bulk helps save incredibly. “I buy sweet almond oil in bulk and drop an essential oil instead of paying. You can make facial scrubs with oatmeal and you can make them in batches for as much as you need. You can use hazel for make-up remover”.

Alternatives for sensitive skin with natural ingredients, however, may be reachable over the counter as well. “I know Almay is really good for sensitive skin and is found at the drug store. Mac’s mineral products are also paraben-free,” Kleinsorge advises. “There are alternatives for everything if you read ingredients.”

MAKE UP YOUR MIND Jumping from ready-made products into homemade tubs of skin alternatives may be a stretch for some people still engaged in the comfort of onthe-shelves ease. Canadian app Think Dirty assists in the first step of identifying which products can make the washroom a minefield. In attempts to empower and inform consumers about harmful ingredients, the app allows shoppers to scan product bar codes and identify the potential risks involved and suggest possible alternatives for the same kind of product using references from Health Canada, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, and Environment Canada. “The reality is that there are clean products sold by conventional brands and dirty products sold by 'natural' brands. The beauty of our app is we just look at the ingredients, and nothing else,” revealed Lily Tse, founder of Think Dirty App, in an interview with CBC. More resources can be found online through the David Suzuki Foundation and other articles that list out the top harmful ingredients in cosmetics. Although, seemingly impossible to avoid the abundance of chemicals in products, Deacon suggests that the best step is to at least try. “If we’re trying to avoid every single bad ingredient and live some sort of perfect life, that’s not what I’m trying to advocate at all,” she continues. “We only

get one go around so we want to try to find that balance. For everybody, that’s going to look a little bit different. I feel so much better using natural ingredients, I see it first hand and I want to give people the chance to feel the same way by giving them the resource to.”

INGREDIENTS TO LOOK OUT FOR

BEAUTY SCHOOLIN’ In comparison to the E.U. (European Union), Canada has made some polite gestures at banning harmful products. The Canadian Cancer Society reported that Canada has restricted up to 573 ingredients, in comparison to the E.U.’s 1,715.

Popular toxins like parabens and phthalates have already been banned, based on evidence that the substance is hormone-interfering and has the capability of mimicking estrogen. A growing number of advocates and organizations suggest following the stricter guidelines of the E.U. However, critiques say that stricter E.U. regulations have not meant a stricter ban and that many of the same products can be found on shelves across the sea. For Deacon, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009, living a healthy life and undergoing treatment halfway through writing her book, There’s Lead in Your Lipstick and now her upcoming memoir, Naked Imperfections, the ultimate decision lies in the choices consumers make at the cosmetic aisle. “Going through cancer was ironic because someone’s whole life is about [the] environmental and cleaner, greener lifestyle, I seemed like the last person to be diagnosed,” she explains.

“It made me think of ultimately how much we are not in control of our lives. But that’s what it is, we make the best of what life gives us because it’s better to try.”

Between the continuing research of chemical ingredients and the unenforced suggestions of organizations like Health Canada, Ramsey explains that selectivity in our everyday product is how shoppers can safely consume cosmetics in a grey-scaled aisle. “Generally speaking, I would say it's not an industry that's well regulated,” Ramsey stresses. “These parabens and carcinogens, looking at them I don't think we have causal evidence, but intuitively, putting massive amounts of chemicals on your skin is not a good thing.”

BHT & BHA Reported as both a carcinogen and hormone disrupter, these substances can be found in most moisturizers and make-up products. As an added negative, they’re also environmentally unfriendly and harmful to wildlife.

CI AND FIVE DIGITS Known as “coal tar dyes,” this substance colours most cosmetic ingredients and are usually labeled CI followed by five digits. This ingredient can be found in most hair dyes and hair products, making it more dangerous as a carcinogen as it has direct contact with the scalp.

PETROLATUM Found in lip balms, hair products to create shine, as well as moisturizers. It is a petroleum product and when fused together with polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons can be likely to cause cancer.

ON the Cover

THE CAPILANO COURIER

× VOLUME

Ksenia Kozhevnikova Many a legend swarms around a mysterious lady, appearing hither and yonder with painted scrolls in one hand and a sword in the other. As old Gaffers gossip, she is Ksenia The Scandalous—an artist by day, and a warrior by night. She hails from Russia to bring a bit of warmth to Vancouver's cloudiness.

47 ISSUE N O . 15

"toothpaste and mascara can be linked to threats of cancer"

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Calendar Monday 27

Tuesday 28

Wednesday 29

Thursday 30

Saturday 01

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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Friday 31

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Sunday 02

@capilanocourier

@capcourier

Capilanocourier.com

Youth Poetry Slam

Shred For The Cure

Meditation Drop-in

Bingo

Café Deux Soleils 8 pm $4-10

Mount Seymour 5 pm to 10 pm $ - free

Triratna Buddhist Community Vancouver Society 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm $ - free

North Vancouver Legion 6 pm $ - cost of pretty cheap Caesars

Show includes an open mike, the poetry slam, and featured poet Lishai Peel. You’ll be handclapping, toe-tapping, and finger-snapping your way through this youth poetry slam while sucking back cheap beer and maybe munching on some vegetarian fare. We can’t say for sure if the poems will be animal-friendly, though.

Ladies ride free this Monday night (and every Monday night until March 31) at Mount Seymour. Shred for the Cure supports the BC Cancer Foundation and works like this: ladies can ride at Mount Seymour on Monday Nights anytime from 5pm until 10pm with a donation to the BC Cancer Foundation.

This drop-in meditation evening is for people in recovery from alcohol, food, drugs, shopping, TV, Internet, or gambling. The sessions will be an opportunity to explore Buddhist meditation as a tool to help cultivate sobriety of mind. Guided by Dharmacharini Vimalasara with a team of people who are in recovery.

In case you hadn’t heard, young people frequenting veteran haunts is the new hipster thing. Young people want Kokanee and they want it for less than $2. And hey, if we can win a few bucks while we’re at it, we’ll be drunkenly yelling “BINGO!” before you can sign a $12 cheque to your grandson.

Cheap Movie Night

Young Drunk Punk

One

Free Corkage

A Theatre Near You All day $ - half price

Firehall Arts Centre 8 pm $35

The Cultch 8 pm $29+

The Wallflower Dinner Time $ - your own bottle of wine

If your new Tinder date asks you out to a movie on a Tuesday night, chances are they’re either totally cheap or totally broke – either way, do you really want to date them? Well, in the case that you don’t care, these flicks are going for half-price: Saving Mr. Banks, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Suspect, and more.

Comedian, writer, director and legendary Kid in the Hall Bruce McCulloch combines stand-up, live music and assorted autobiographical insights in Young Drunk Punk. Showcasing his signature wit, this new solo show chronicles McCulloch's journey from his wild early days as a ‘young punk' in Alberta.

A man, almost alone on stage, searches for what he thought he always wanted to be. His journey leads him to question the authenticity of his own Persian origins, seemingly small and insignificant compared to today’s Persian youth living in Iran, who must fight daily for their liberty, freedom of speech, their country, and their lives.

It’s the one day of the week you can bring in your own cheap wine a la broke student (think Painted Turtle or my personal favourite, Copper Moon) with no extra corking fee tonight. Enjoy your frugal fancy vino alongside some of the Wallflower’s vegetarian fare.

Zappa Plays Zappa

Women's Drinking Club

Brazilian Carnaval on Ice

The Critical Hit

The Commodore Ballroom 8pm $45+

Doolin’s Irish Pub 8 pm $20

Robson Square Ice Rink 5 pm to 9 pm $ - free

The Rio Theatre 8 pm $9

Dweezil Zappa, born in 1969, carries on his father Frank Zappa’s legacy with Zappa Plays Zappa.

Babysat by the original Queen Groupie, Miss Pamela Des Barres, Dweezil Zappa was born in the midst of baby boomin’ hippie revolution – so it’s no surprise you’ll see flowers in his eyes as he deftly flicks through his pop’s catalogue.

An interactive wine tasting seminar hosted by Lesley Saito, Sommelier. Lesley will take us through a journey of Spain as we try some unique and interesting wines from throughout the region. Price includes five wines with paired appetizers.

Celebrating the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil early with a “Carnaval” themed night, skaters are encouraged to break out their most festive “Carnaval” outfits and skate to some hot Brazilian beats!

Skating is free with your own skates, otherwise, rentals are available.

Vancouver's best comedic performers quest for glory and snacks in this live, improvised spectacular. For nearly two years, The Critical Hit Show has been playing to massive audiences month after month, and the epic adventure continues this Wednesday night.

Taboo Sex Show

Romeo & Juliet

A Bout to Change

PechaKucha

Vancouver Convention Centre 5 pm $20

Queen Elizabeth Theatre 8 pm $29+

Croatian Cultural Centre 6:30 t0 10 pm $50

Vogue Theatre 7:30 pm $15

The Taboo Naughty but Nice Sex Show is an annual adult playground dedicated to enhancing lifestyles, encouraging romance, personal betterment and all things Taboo. Provocative and educational seminars, unique shopping, fashion shows and live demonstrations – another great Tinder date idea?

The Royal Winnipeg Ballet and artistic director André Lewis perform the classic ballet of love, longing, and loss from the original drama by William Shakespeare. Unfortunately, a young Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes will not star… but you can imagine.

MC Leah Goldstein hosts “A Bout To Change”, an evening of philanthropy hosted by Boxing BC, in association with Boxing Canada. The event will feature world-class female boxers from across Canada who believe that all women and children deserve a safe place to live.

2014’s first PechaKucha – an ongoing series of motivational talks and inspirational discussions – kicks off at the Vogue Theatre. This event features Gold & Youth as its opening act, and speakers such as Vancouver Sun columnist Malcolm Parry and Momentum Mag editor Mia Kohout, among many others.

Night Circus

Fargo

Secret Supper Soiree

NorthFest

Vancouver FanClub 8 pm $25

The Rio Theatre 11 pm $6 to $8

1100 Chestnut Street 7 pm $115

The Rickshaw Theatre 8 pm $12 to $15

Described as “Tony & Tina's Wedding meets Cirque du Soleil with more than its share of sexy,” FanClub’s Night Circus incorporates cirque, burlesque, theatre, music and food all in one sensual event. A passport upon entry will outline an alias, character traits and a special mission for guests to play along if they choose to.

Sheriff Marge Gunderson sets out to solve three murders in her small town of Brainerd, Minnesota in the dead of winter while Jerry Lundegaard’s inept crime falls apart due to his and his henchmen’s bungling and the persistent police work of the quite pregnant Marge Gunderson.

Hop on board your private classic London Route Master double-deck bus and be whisked off to each hidden location for your mouth-watering canapé creations, beverages and dinner. This twoact tour is the best way to explore the city's culinary secrets and tantalize your taste buds! Dress formal.

Showcasing cool and contemporary music from the north, NorthFest brings you an array of vibrant music from Yukon’s Diyet and Speed Control with Greenland’s Nive Nielsen. From roots to rock, indie to alt folk, their songs speak to the diversity of life in the north.

White Denim

Washed Out

Hockey: SFU vs. Spartans

Stayed pm Freedom!

The Biltmore Cabaret 8pm $15

The Commodore Ballroom 10 pm $22.50

Bill Copeland Arena 7 pm $10

St. Andrew's-Wesley United Church 7:30 pm $25

The Biltmore hosts the experimental garage-rock quartet from Austin, Texas, with guests Clear Plastic Masks. Be sure to wear your super trendy white denim to the White Denim show. I mean, it would be pretty ironic if the band showed up rocking all-black denim, or denim-coloured denim. Maybe that’s their schtick.

Dream-pop, trip-hop, and lo-fi singer-songwriter and producer from the States performs material from latest album Paracosm, with guests Kisses. A fair substitute for when Bonobo and DJ Shadow neglect to make a trip to our infamously rainy city.

Sigh

Trinity Western University Spartans take on Simon Fraser. Game nights at Copeland also include a food concession with beverages, 50/50, and intermission entertainment. Tickets at the door are $5 for students/children/seniors, and $10 for adults.

Kick off with a musical celebration of Black History Month, featuring performances by the Marcus Mosely Chorale, City Soul Choir, the Sojourners, TriVo, Eleanor Collins, Leon Bibb, and Linda Tillery, with guest speaker Constance Barnes.

Proceeds support the St. Andrew's-Wesley's Community Outreach Program.

Duets for One/Myth & Infrastructure

Year of the Horse Temple Fair

Kitty Nights Burlesque

António Zambujo

Performance Works 8 pm $29

Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Gardens 10 am to 4 pm $5 suggested donation

The Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $7

BlueShore Financial Centre of Performing Arts 8 pm $32+

Duets for One refines performer Tanya Marquardt's memoir of her life as a teen runaway into a cabaret-style montage/monologue. Myth & Infrastructure sees Los Angeles's Miwa Matreyek step from behind the video screen to enter a world of her own animation.

Celebrate the Lunar New Year. The Garden presents a special “The Year of the Horse Temple Fair”, a “Hot and Noisy” (re-nao) public event that’s based on the Spring Festival temple fair where people entertain, trade, greet, celebrate and pray for a prosperous new year.

Vancouver's Reigning Burlesque Queen, Burgundy Brixx continues to bring Vancouver audiences a different lineup of the greatest local and international burlesque stars and starlets every week.

Hosted by the fun-loving Purrrfessor, this evening features a highly-coveted weekly door prize.

Fado singer, guitarist, and composer from Portugal, performs as part of the PuSh International Performing Arts Festival here at CapU. Sure, it’s pricey for a student budget, but would it really kill you to get some culture instead of slamming back beers with Aussies on the weekend?

sports

KATHERINE GILLARD SPORTS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

3/30 for whitecaps

torts don't give a puck

PLENTY OF TALENT ON DRAFT WEEK

RAGE AGAINST THE FLAMES

Calvin deGroot

Carlo Javier

× Writer

× Staff Writer

The 2014 Major League Soccer (MLS) SuperDraft was a dramatic one for the Vancouver Whitecaps.

First, just days before the draft management found out that leading scorer and 2013 Golden Boot winner, Camilo Sanvezzo, had signed with a Mexican pro club, Queretaro. Sanvezzo was able to get out of his contract, leaving a large gap in the forward position. In return, Vancouver received an undisclosed multi-million dollar fee. But on draft day, things were looking up for the Whitecaps who had two first round picks (third and seventh) as well as the 30th pick. With the third overall pick the Whitecaps selected defender Christian Dean. Dean, from California, is also a member of Generation Adidas, a U.S. Soccer program that allow players early entry into the MLS without college graduation. The added bonus of Generation Adidas players is that Dean’s salary will not count against Vancouver’s salary cap. With the seventh and 30th picks, Vancouver selected Andre Lewis and Mamadou Diouf respectively. However, the drama continued when just one day after the draft it was revealed that Lewis had signed with the New York Cosmos, the North American Soccer League (NASL) Division II team.

Lewis’ unexpected signing resulted in panic and outcry from fans and media who were still feeling the pain from the Sanvezzo departure and now worried Vancouver had wasted a top draft pick. After the dust settled, it was revealed that Lewis will indeed report to training camp for the Whitecaps on loan from the Cosmos which is unusual considering the Cosmos are a Division II team. However, for Lewis who is not guaranteed a starting roster position it gives some job security. If he makes the team, Lewis will not be playing for the Cosmos.

In a statement released by the Whitecaps, president Bob Lenarduzzi said, "He's going to be in Vancouver, he's our player.” Diouf, the 30th pick arrives from the University of Connecticut but is originally from Senegal. His former coach at UConn claimed he is a steal for the 30th pick.

While there are still some holes to fill in the Whitecaps’ lineup, specifically for Sanvezzo and in goal, Whitecaps fans should feel excited about their 2014 top draft picks; and already with a young team, coach Carl Robinson said all three players will have a chance to make the 2014 starting lineup. The season begins on March 8 against the New York Redbulls at B.C. Place.

Canuck Roundup A WEEK TO REMEMBER FOR THE CANUCKS Calvin deGroot × Writer

to send out his goons against the Flames. It’s his responsibility as the coach to protect his players – particularly the non-fighters – from the other team. It’s also his responsibility to adjust line-ups and match the other team’s line-ups.

Having said that, Tortorella did cross a line by attempting to breach the opposing team’s locker room, for whatever purpose he wanted.

It’s understandable that at the time, he was infuriated (an understatement) but just like brawls – professionalism is also part of hockey. Locker rooms are the closest thing a team has to a safe haven, it’s where they discuss plays and strategies.

Even if Tortorella just wanted to have a word with Hartley – or a fight – this was not the right way to go about it.

Then again, it’s not like Tortorella ever gave a fuck about controversies.

on point Name: John Leong Position: Guard, Mens Basketball Program: Third-Year Business

Have you ever read the Cap Courier?

I have not.

Apple or Android?

Apple.

Favourite course ever taken:

Psych 100, Psych 101.

Favourite rapper:

Kanye West.

Alicia Keys or Beyoncé:

Beyoncé.

Tea or Coffee:

Neither.

Favourite food in the cafeteria:

Chicken strips.

Favourite movie of 2013:

Batman?

But it came out the year before.

Favourite alcoholic drink:

Jaeger bomb.

47 ISSUE N O . 15

[ o ] Vancouver Sports Pictures

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One thing we did is we made students free, if you bring your student card to games.

The other thing we’re trying to do is have a couple of big games where it’s like a pub night. You come to the game, no admission, and you can buy a ticket to Seymour’s after the game or even a club night.

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Ideas for CapU to raise awareness about sports:

THE CAPILANO COURIER

On Jan. 13, the Vancouver Canucks looked like a new team. They were facing rivals Los Angeles Kings just 10 days after the Kings’ Captain Dustin Brown injured goalie Roberto Luongo. It was called a statement game, but they lost 1-0. Why? The Canucks responded physically in a way not seen for years with a fight-filled affair including a fight between future Olympic teammates Ryan Kesler and Dustin Brown and 169 penalty minutes. The statement was that the years of being pushed around are over.

With the first half of the season over, a new coach, and a new identity, the next game against the first-place Anaheim Ducks was supposed to measure and showcase how far the Canucks have come this season under coach, John Tortorella. The Canucks were thumped 9-1; it was the most goals the Ducks have ever scored in franchise history.

However, the real story of this game, as it has been all season for the Canucks, was the score did not accurately reflect the competitive level of the Canucks. With Luongo still injured there was shaky goaltending from back-up Eddie Lack, and his replacement, rookie Joacim Eriksson, was not any better. Also, after some questionable refereeing, the Canucks were left facing a seven-minute five-onthree where the Ducks scored three goals. Nonetheless, not a game to be proud of. After another disappointing 1-0 loss to the Phoenix Coyotes the Canucks headed home their long-time rivals, Calgary Flames where things got out of hand.

Tensions were high before the puck was even dropped. Calgary coach Bob Hartley submitted his starting lineup and uncharacteristically started his fourth line. Even more unusual was that enforcer Kevin Westgarth who normally plays on the wing was starting at centre. Tortorella responded by starting his fourth line including rookie Kellan Lain playing in his first NHL game. Just seconds into the game a line brawl ensued. 142 penalty minutes in two seconds. That is when Tortorella lost it. First, he berated Hartley from the bench but garnered no response from the Flames’ coach. Then during the first intermission Tortorella marched towards the Flames’ dressing room to confront Hartley. He was stopped by Flames personnel and players but not after a memorable encounter. Tortorella was suspended for 15 games as a result and Hartley was fined $25,000. More importantly, the Canucks won the game 3-2 in a shootout.

Fans have been disappointed with the Canucks so far this season as they find themselves clinging to the seventh playoff position. However, the reorientation of the conferences this year places the Canucks in a tougher division; the team has also had to adjust to the new style and system of Tortorella, which is never easy and takes time. If this week is any indication, they have adjusted. Under Tortorella’s leadership the team displays grit and aggressiveness unmatched in previous years. According to the players, the emotional and fight-filled week has brought the team together like never before, and under Tortorella's new style, the team looks better suited and poised for playoff hockey.

Already notorious around the league for his outspoken demeanor, Canucks head coach John Tortorella only added to his legend during the now infamous line-brawl infused match against the Calgary Flames.

When Flames head coach Bob Hartley decided to send his “goons” for the opening face-off, Torts responded by sending his own fourth line, and some profanity-laden animosity.

It only took two seconds after the puck drop before fists and helmets started flying. Tortorella sent out tough guys Kevin Bieksa, Tom Sestito, Dale Weise, Jason Garrison and minor league call up Kellan Lain to open up the line brawl against the Flames. After the game, Sestito amusingly tweeted, “Torts [Tortorella] told us they were starting their idiots over there so we had to match that.”

However, what happened during the intermission was the real story of the night. In a now viral footage, Tortorella attempted to go into the Flames locker room to confront the team, only to be pushed away by several of the Flames players.

Now he’s suspended for 15 days.

What’s right and what’s wrong?

Well, Tortorella is right to make to the decision

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columns

LEAH SCHEITEL COLUMNS EDITOR

Humans CHANGES IN CHINA

× Jessica Ngo

Christine Janke × Columnist Christine Janke is the kind of soul that cares for all of the ones around her. Her education in Human Rights from Malmo University in Sweden has allowed her to look at the world in a different light. Her column Humans, will delve into human rights, and how Canada compares to the world.

Though it may be difficult to see, human rights in the People’s Republic of China are showing notable signs of improvement. By the end of 2013, senior lawmakers in China voted to abolish the Laojiao system. The Laojiao system was created in 1957 in order to imprison and punish “politically unreliable individuals,” as described in the China Daily newspaper. Religious activists, those convicted of petty crimes, and most anyone who did not fit the political mold China’s government

enforced upon its population, were sent to Laojiao camps for re-education via forced labour.

According to Beijing News earlier in January, just a few short days after President Xi Jinping’s announcement, only 5,098 prisoners remained in Laojiao camps located in Beijing. This number is a great deal smaller than the 2008 tally of 160,000 reported prisoners, and shows tangible signs of a government delivering on promises made. Having being imprisoned without trial and often on extremely trivial merits, many of those forced into laojiao camps represent the injustice and weak rule of law within the Chinese legal system. An undisclosed number of Laojiao inmates will not be released, but rather placed in drug rehabilitation facilities. Perhaps this will simply be another place for political dissidents to be kept quiet, but at least the abolition of the Laojiao system and the release of tens of thousands of others is a great start.

China’s one-child policy, in place since 1979, has also been amended. Couples where one parent is an only child will be given permission to have

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

two children. According to Chinese authorities, these changes are largely in response to the nation’s declining working population and the fact that those over 65 years are expected to amount for a quarter of the population by 2030. This change will no doubt have an effect on the recent national preference towards having male children, often made possible through selective abortions and infanticide.

Another hopeful sign for human rights in China lies in recent criminal law revisions. Mostly by means of lethal injections, approximately 4,000 Chinese are executed annually according to the human rights organization Dui Hua. The good news is that certain death penalty guidelines have been tightened, particularly for white-collar criminals and the elderly. Those over the age of 75 will see “restricted use” of execution, and 13 economic crimes that were previously punishable by death will no longer be so. It must be a difficult life for a capitalist in a communist society.

Transparency at the government level is also said to be increasing. A small step, maybe, but 90 per cent of government departments will be making their budgets and business trip expenses available online for public viewing. The government is also welcoming citizens and the media to provide tip-offs regarding corrupt officials and their extravagant spending during the upcoming Spring Festival commencing at the end of January. How far this statement and Chinese citizens will actually be taken seriously is questionable, but the first step in creating real change is to talk about it.

Most, if not all, of these changes can be accredited to ordinary Chinese citizens who bravely expose their political opinions and stories online.

The Internet has proved to be the site where people are increasingly pressing the limits of censorship their government has been enforcing. I can only imagine such strict censorship of the Internet to be a losing battle when there are many possibilities to avoid identity detection online. In addition, it must be increasingly difficult for officials to keep up with a national population of nearly 1.4 billion and an estimated 618 million online by the end of 2013. With more and more people finding their way into the world wide web, and new websites popping up each day, there is an increasing amount of potential for free speech and democracy in China. There is finally a way for information to be shared, people to learn, be heard, and participate in being the voices of their nation and change.

As with most things that are built strong and to last, progress towards a free and safe Chinese society seems terribly slow.

Many serious human rights issues still need to be addressed in China, but these changes mark very positive trends and hopes for a just government and a humane rule of law. The main concern of the Chinese government will always be economic development, which actually is not much different than the priorities of governments in the West. China has repeatedly stated that they will tackle their nation’s human rights issues by increasing the standard of living for its citizens. For this reason, China continues to face their social problems fiscally, by focusing on individual incomes and economic development. As the world’s fastest growing economy, and if their beliefs prove true, one can expect to see more improvements regarding Chinese human rights in the future.

art of ski bumming PERCEPTION OF REALITY

Reuben G. Krabbe

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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After graduating from the Western Academy of Photography in Victoria, Reuben Krabbe moved to Whistler to shoot, ski, and drink wine. His work can be seen gracing the pages of Skier, Powder, Bike, among others.When Reuben isn’t shooting photos, he likes to watch America’s Next Top Model, and embark on health debates about philosophy and religion. Sometimes he does this all at the same time. His work can be seen at ReubenKrabbe.com I'm not responsible for my own existence, but I am responsible for myself. As a photographer, I live with a public profile that I curate, but it lives outside of me. I am not “Reuben Krabbe, Photographer,” and he isn't me either. However, I'm in control of that puppet, RKP, and he is often perceived to be me.

Forget angels and demons chatting in opposite ears – an element of RKP walks with me wherever I go. Sometimes the shadow is cast ahead of me as I walk, with the reputation preceding me.

"Oh! Reuben Krabbe! I've seen your images.

Where are you off to next?” a stranger will ask me when they recognize my name. “Are you in more photo competitions? You pretty much play every day, what's it like living the dream? You should shoot photos of my dog!"

However, there are times I run unencumbered by his presence, his inky figure hidden behind

me. Most of these times are shared with long time friends regaling the absurdity of great evening, or chatting about the obstacle and setbacks of every career and lifestyle.

The further I walk this path, the more frequently I see the course of my life as interpretable through the photography I create. It's like a canary in a coal mine; however, I often find its limp dead body on the floor of the cave long after the body is cold.

When I was reaching out to surpass my selfperception of a grey scale personality, photography was an open canvas to define myself. My photos, in retrospect, reference my thirst to create a person who wasn't me. Photos dedicated solely to differentiation. Quality measured in different-ness. I was etching an autobiography titled RKP, while I neglected to write an autobiography about RGK – the real me.

I'm not sure if RGK disappeared, or RGK moved into the shell of RKP. Maybe it's the reverse, the photographer took over the space needing definition inside of me. I would capture images of skiing, indulging in something entirely beautiful and fun, but behind shiny reflective goggle lenses, there wasn't always euphoric emotion.

It sounds like black magic, some disembodied soul, lost and now found. However these introspective journeys into my own personality have lead me to be wary of the way we create shells of ourselves, and broadcast with our own personal PR agency. Social media standardized this separation of self and social perception. It allows us to create a human we wish to be, or wish to be seen as.

If you chop, slice, and dice through tweets, Facebook statuses and Instagrams you see the

× Reuben G. Krabbe smiling masks we willingly paint and repaint to hide our face. Or, conversely, cryptic cries for help in a crowded room. There was no invitation to a masquerade, we simply started using fancy dress, and began curating new personalities to live as a distilled alter ego.

Social feeds are clogged with posts demonizing Photoshop in the media and photography world.

However, with each “share” of Dove's “real beauty” campaigns, we don't seem to see the irony; we're airbrushing our essential human-ness. It's hidden in our relationships, our expectations of others and ourselves, our sorrow, and our need to share experiences in the full dimensional chaotic world.

The Internet polarizes our character, into the ruthless anonymous on blogs and candid honest beings in need of help, but where our names are

tethered to our actions we become saints and ultracrafted beings, flaunting our best tail feathers, be it camera tricks or duck lips.

I don't wish we all burden the world daily with the raw wounds of existence. However, I wish a slightly younger Reuben didn't ignore those wounds while messing with paint on my pallet, feverishly re-inventing the mask to numb pains and sadness. I hope we don't mistake a world of Instagrams shot through rose tinted filters for the real world, where it can rain, and where each sunset isn't as vibrant as a postcard.

The old adage, “Perception is reality” hurts. If our online personality doesn't align with our individual experience of the world, we will be the casualties of it. And it’s something that we should all be aware of, both in our online lives and offline ones.

Columns

The modern Groupie MUSHROOMS AND MILES DAVIS Layla Domino × Columnist

Layla Domino is a veteran groupie with a love of all things music and all things men. After spending her early 20s backstage waiting for her lovers to serenade crowds and in the front seat of tour buses, she has gathered some raucous stories, which she will now share with you. And naturally, her favourite movie is a tie between Magic Mike and Almost Famous.

After my first musician-inflicted heartbreak, I didn’t swear off the musical types altogether. I decided that, instead of being disheartened by just one heartbreak, I’d stop dancing to the beat of the drummer and perhaps instead start shaking my hips to the sweet, soothing licks of the guitarist.

And I didn’t regret my decision because, man, are they ever good with their hands.

Since my previous love affair with Dave the drummer, or as he was known in his circles as “talented Dave”, had landed face down on the floor, I decided to move on. To the guitarist.

Dave had introduced me to a world I wasn’t ready to give up – it was one of passion, of snagging guest list at shows at local dive bars, and of

being able to say “I’m with the band.” He also introduced me to his friends who were also musicians – and much to his dismay, I wasn’t about to abandon all hope of finding love in a musician’s arms. Even if it meant it was with his bandmates.

Mike was the sultry, pouty-lipped guitarist whose talent for music far exceeded his years on earth. At just 18 years old, Mike was not only a jazz virtuoso, but an incredible songwriter and all-around quirky person. He played part-time in Dave’s band, and in another reggae side-project called Giraffe Aftermath. With a mop of chestnut brown curls and deep-set chocolate eyes, Mike was the incredibly attractive answer to the question, “What now?”

Over MSN Messenger, Mike and I shared our mutual love of poetry and Miles Davis’ album, Kind Of Blue. We vowed to take our Internet connection off the web and into real-time. I agreed to bus out to White Rock where he lived with his very Russian grandmother – who affectionately referred to Mike as “Mischka” – to do psychedelics and watch cartoons on mute while listening to jazz.

Eighteen, heartbroken, seeking love, and practically fearless, I was commuting from my suburb of New Westminster out to Crescent Beach in White Rock with just enough money in my pocket to buy magic mushrooms. I met Mike in a park, where he was hanging out with his close friend (and drug dealer), who was clad in a sailor’s cap, aviator sunglasses and a multi-coloured, threadbare sweater.

His appearance just screamed post-baby boomer, neo-hippie, and I loved that it was just a taste of

the kind of strange, psychedelic and eclectic world that Mike would introduce me to. With Mike, everything was a giant burst of eccentric expression – I felt like we were in a Woodstock-themed Stanley Kubrick film.

After weighing out and buying three and a half grams of mushrooms off of the eccentric friend, Mike and I took the baggy back to his grandmother’s place and split our shares equally, gulping down large glasses of orange juice among mouthfuls of fungus. We put Fern Gully on the TV as we waited to be overtaken by psychedelia.

Just slightly before my vision started to stretch and blur everything, including my new lover’s face, which was twisting and warping like ink being spilled into water, Mike and I indulged in a steamy make out session on his basement couch.

We were tangled up together on the couch, gratuitously swapping saliva, with our shirts slowly lifting up to meet our necks, when Mike’s grandmother walked down the stairs to ask if he wanted anything to eat.

To her shock and dismay, she got an eyeful of something she most definitely did not want to see. Embarrassed, she squealed some expletive in Russian and ran back up the stairs. Tucking in his boner, Mike bolted up the stairs after her, while I self-consciously tugged my shirt down and began to have a drug-induced anxiety attack of epic proportions.

I panicked not because I was on psychedelics in some babushka’s basement, unwanted – though I’m sure that had a little to do with it. I panicked because the reason I had thrown myself so wholeheartedly into this smouldering olive-skinned guitarist was not that I genuinely wanted to date him, it was because I wanted to make Dave, who I was still in love with, jealous.

I was torn because Mike was such an amazing, eccentric, and talented person – and how could I possibly pass up the opportunity to know more about a person who loves poetry and Miles Davis as much as I did? He was the ideal guy for any halfway artsy chick looking for a ride in the back of the band van, but I couldn’t shake off his bandmate.

I felt awful, and as Mike consoled his babushka upstairs, I phoned my parents – completely high on mushrooms – and asked them to come pick me up.

As much as I cursed the musician I loved for breaking my heart, I started to find that it’s sometimes the groupie who, in the end, does all the heartbreaking.

filled with a sense of purpose. The water seemed to have raised a couple of inches overnight, but that was of little consequence. Armed with a pair of rubber gloves I stole from my landlord’s laundry room and an empty icecream bucket, I began to try to manually drain the shower.

This carried on for the next day and a half. Despite all my most creative thinking, Google's infinite wisdom, and my father's soothing words, I failed in fixing my shower. I finally caved and called my landlord, who took one look at the drainage pipe, realized that the problem was also out of his depth and called a plumber. My shower was fully functional within a few hours after I called.

I learned several lessons from this. First of all, make sure to clean the hair out of your shower drain, and to use a drain cleaner fluid monthly, just to keep things in working order. Secondly, Yahoo Answers is not a definitive source of knowledge.

Thirdly, my father, while a good man, doesn’t need to receive seven frantic calls from his daughter in a single afternoon regarding a shower that he's never even seen, no matter how much he loves her. I also learned the importance of calling my landlord when I'm in a bind.

In British Columbia, your landlord is responsible for ensuring that your rental unit meets health and safety standards for houses that have been established by law. This means that your landlord is required to keep all supplied appliances (fridges, stoves, laundry machines, etc.) and fixtures (ceiling tiles, showers, toilets, cupboards, doors, etc.) in safe working condition. A common misconception is that all repairs performed by the landlord will come out of your damage deposit. It doesn't. If your fridge is old and gives out, and it is completely not your fault, you will not be held responsible. That being said, treat your home with respect. If you mark up your walls, or spill copi-

ous amounts of wine on your carpet, for example, that's entirely your fault, and you, as an adult, will have to pay the consequences, literally.

Your responsibilities include maintaining reasonable health and cleanliness standards. You have to scrub your own toilet, vacuum your own floors, and stay on top of your own clutter. When it comes down to it, it's your house, and you have to do everything in your power to keep it functioning smoothly. If you don't clean your room, it will be a haven for mice and spiders. If you don't wash out your sink, it will serve as an embarrassment whenever you have company over. If you don't do your own dishes, they will remain in a grubby pile on the counter. Trust me, it isn't fun running out of both forks and spoons, and having to use chopsticks to eat your oatmeal. At the end of the day, if a light bulb burns out, it's up to you to fix it. And believe me, if you've never changed a light bulb in your own before, it's not easy to do in the dark. I haven't picked up a Bible in years, which means I’ve finally gotten around to folding my laundry.

× Rebecca Joy

Functional adult WHAT LANDLORDS ARE FOR

Paisley Conrad × Columnist

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month's rent, I had started a new job, and my life as a functional adult seemed to be going smoothly.

Since my apartment lacks a bathtub, a hot shower was the closest thing I could manage. About five minutes into my shower, I noticed that the water was beginning to pool around the pads of my feet.

Thinking that more water was coming out of the showerhead than was draining, and that it would equalize eventually, I continued showering. A few minutes later, the water was up to my ankles. Finally cluing in that something was very wrong, I shut the water off, stepped out of the shower, and then proceeded to marathon a full season of Doctor Who. I thought that, logically, if I didn't want a problem to exist, and ignored it for long enough, it would go away. The shower would drain itself.

Several hours passed until I checked my shower.

The water hadn't budged an inch. I briefly considered doing something about it, but with a heavy sigh, I headed to bed instead. When I awoke, I was

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I was a sly and weasel-like child. This spurred from a desire to shirk most of my household responsibilities. No lengths were too extreme to get out of doing chores, and I have distinct memories of pretending to read the Bible to avoid folding laundry. As I grew up, I lost my slyness but my determination to not get my hands dirty remained.

I was consistent in my methods, as I conned my way out of washing the dishes and slouched away from scrubbing the bathroom floor. I was raised in a big family, and there was always someone around to force my chores onto. My mother is also an extremely hard worker, and my dad is an absolute genius at repairing broken things. In short, I never had to worry. I could epitomize my laziest self when I lived at home.

Now that I'm living on my own, real life has hit hard and fast. One day, about a month into living solo, I took an exceptionally long and well-deserved shower. I had just paid my second

× Tina Furesz

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Far from her small town roots, Paisley Conrad is trying to find her way in Vancouver. Her life is now a juggling act of school, work, and improv comedy, while appearing to be an adult. In her column, she will explore the tribulations of a young student trying to figure it out outside of the parents’ house.

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opinions

FAYE ALEXANDER OPINIONS EDITOR

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

food allergies and school DAIRY AND EGG PRODUCTS NOW UNDER THE MICROSCOPE Gabriel Scorgie × Writer Imagine packing your food for a school day: think about which snacks you would bring, what your main meal would be and what you would want to drink. Now, after you’ve done that, eliminate anything that is or may contain dairy, soy, eggs, avocado, chocolate, nuts, seeds, or melon – and then try again. That is exactly what a father in Toronto has to do every day before he sends his six-year-old daughter to school and this is what Lynn Glover wants every parent to do at Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Elementary School. Although doing so would benefit children with food allergies, school boards must acknowledge that the banning of food will create a slippery slope for the future.

Glover from Hamilton, Ontario has filed a human rights complaint against her daughter’s school claiming they failed to adequately care for her daughter Elodie’s “invisible disability,” which is her life-threatening allergy to dairy and egg products.

This has left many parents frustrated and confused over what exactly they will be able to feed their kids. Glover wants events like Pizza Day and school BBQs that offer dairy and egg options to be removed from the school calendar as they discrimi-

nate against those with allergies. There are only so many things in this world that a six-year-old child is going to be willing to eat and not many are going to trade in their ham and cheese sandwich in favour of the garden salad with balsamic vinaigrette. Removing some of the most common foods in packed lunches, like cheese and nuts, make it increasingly difficult for a parent to pack a lunch that their child will enjoy.

If schools are willing to ban foods to appease one student with food allergies then that sets a precedent. Ninety per cent of all food allergies are related to peanuts, fish, soy, milk, tree nuts, shellfish, wheat, and eggs. One in 13 Canadians are reported to have a food allergy and 38.7 per cent of children with food allergies have severe reactions. Peanuts are already banned in over 18 per cent of schools and milk and egg products are beginning to be been banned in parts of Ontario. The odds suggest that it is not unlikely for a school to have a student with a serious allergy to one of them. The classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich could quickly be simplified to a jar of jam.

Glover says that Elodie was discriminated against and placed at risk when she was forced to sit at a separate table while her fellow classmates ate their

lunches, as well as during Valentine’s day when she didn’t receive any cards because her teacher was afraid she would have an adverse reaction to the chocolate. Glover says that she doesn’t expect a guaranteed allergy-free environment but wants teachers to take necessary precautions to protect her daughter. However, if Glover understands that a completely allergy-free environment is impossible meaning her daughter could still face a fatal reaction, wouldn’t it be better for Glover to change her daughter’s environment?

Cases like Elodie’s aren’t common. Dr. David Fisher, an immunologist, says that it is extremely rare for someone to become dangerously ill after just touching food they are allergic to. What’s best for Elodie may not be a traditional education.

One-on-one teaching, homeschooling, or special classes where her environment can be completely controlled are available and should be considered as an alternative to banning foods at each school she attends. At the very least, Elodie need to be educated on proper preventative measures to ensure that even if she stays in school, she won’t have a severe reaction. Simple things like washing your hands frequently and not sharing food with classmates can go a long way to prevent an allergic reaction.

× Stefan Tosheff Banning foods for one child can create more problems than it solves and isn’t a permanent solution. As a parent, the onus should mainly be on you and not the school to be placing your kid in an environment beneficial to them or to at least give them the knowledge to be able to keep themselves protected. It’s not easy to imagine what it’s like to be a parent or the child in situations like this. All parents want their children to grow up having a normal childhood where they can attend class, be able to sit with friends at lunch and partake in school events.

However, sometimes things get in the way and you have to find ways to adapt.

killer living conditions TWO ORCAS WILL BE KEPT ON DISPLAY FOR SOCHI OLYMPICS Katherine Gillard

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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Two orca whales have been captured off the coast of Japan and shipped to Russia for the purpose of a display at the Sochi Aquarium during the 2014 Olympics. Whale advocates and cetacean awareness campaigns have spoken out since the announcement, with pleas to free the whales because of the dismay this will cause the orcas’ families and the pain it will cause the animals.

Orcas have been kept in captivity since the 1960s, when fishermen were first able to capture and contain the whales for display. Their size, playfulness, intelligence and beauty have left many aquarium and show attendees in awe across the globe in various locations. However, orcas are not built for captivity and their sheer size and behaviors make it incredibly difficult to satisfy their needs.

Orcas are unlike most whales because they live in all of the oceans and are the most widely distributed mammal. There are three different types of orcas including the Residents – who live off the coast of Vancouver and hunt salmon; the Transients – who hunt mammals such as seals and even moose; and the Offshore orcas – who reportedly eat sharks as well as other mammals down the coast of California. Capturing orcas for entertainment or hunting is strictly prohibited along the West Coast, but Iceland, Japan, and other areas cash in on orcas which can cost up to and over $1 million.

A good way for outsiders to think of this is to consider that there are three types of whales. These three types are then divided into families. Each family communicates differently, although it may be similar to others within their type of orca. This means that the whales speak different languages.

Their family dynamic is incredibly strong – they will stay next to a fishing boat as it takes their baby away and cry. They won’t run away – they want to stay together. Seaworld takes a few whales from different parts of the world and presents them as a family – part of one family pod, but they aren’t.

They don’t even speak the same language. You wouldn’t stick a bunch of humans who speak other languages in a bathtub and call them a family – so why is it appropriate to do this with whales?

“When they're captured, their families are just ripped apart...and when they're put into captivity, they're really subject to sensory deprivation for years and years and years — it's hugely damaging to them,” Paul Spong, founder of Orcalab off the coast of Vancouver told CBC news.

The Vancouver Aquarium used to be the proud owners of three orcas, but after an agreement to not take cetaceans (whales) from the wild and only having one orca remaining, who they feared would be lonely without a companion, they decided to sell to their last orca to Seaworld where she died a few months later. Most whales are bred in captivity now. Seaworld’s Tilikum’s sperm is sold to other aquariums. He has now fathered 21 captive whales.

Seaworld has been a point of focus this past year, with the release of documentary Blackfish. The film focuses on Tilikum who was first captured for B.C.’s own Sealand in Victoria. Tilikum was kept with two other female orcas in a confined tank, who bullied him. Female whales are dominant in the wild and the males stay to the outside of the pack. However, Tilikum’s size made it impossible to stay out of their way – and he was scraped and hit frequently. One day, after a whale show, a

× Mustaali Raj

trainer fell into the water and Tilikum dragged her down and beat her, resulting in her drowning.

After the event, Tilikum was sold to Seaworld, who were excited to receive a whale so large – 12,000 pounds and 22.5 feet long – an orca they could use for shows and sperm. During his time at Seaworld, he has attacked multiple trainers, and killed two more people – one trainer and one visitor. The film shows various attacks by other whales the result in broken bones and near drownings.

The trainer killed by Tilikum was scalped and the visitor killed had his privates bitten off. The attacks were brutal and vicious.

Whales in captivity suffer from neurological disorders and may become more violent overtime.

Like humans, they can suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and other disorders. The whales may lash out physically, because they are suffering mentally.

The trainers interviewed in Blackfish discuss how little Seaworld has taught them about whales, everything they are told to tell guests is a lie. Seaworld and other aquariums claim whales live longer in captivity, that bent dorsal fins are normal and that they are all happy. These are all untrue, and have been proven as lies by marine researchers for years.

It has become more and more evident to the public that taking whales is wrong – the West Coast banned the poaching decades ago. However, keeping whales in captivity for viewing has continued to captivate families generating huge revenue for these tourist attractions. Maybe now, with Blackfish and petitions against Russia’s decision, people will begin to see that jailing whales isn’t worth the consequences the whales will undoubtedly face both psychologically and physically.

opinions

the one and only woody allen CECIL B. DEMILLE AWARD MET WITH MIXED REACTIONS Faye Alexander × Opinions Editor

× Kristen Wright

focus on his next film which is already in the works.

It doesn’t seem to bother Allen all too much one way or the other whether or not we celebrate him.

By acknowledging and praising such a substantial career, we are not allowing his celebrity to obscure the scandal that has been a part of his life since the ‘90s. We should just as forgivingly not allow what has happened in his personal life to obscure what he has achieved as a filmmaker.

TOP 5 YOU MAY NOT HAVE SEEN 1. Sleeper 2. Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex (but were to afraid to ask) 3. Zelig

5. Deconstructing Harry

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prostitute resulting in an embarrassing mug-shot.

Danny Trejo, best known for his bad-ass portrayals of characters like Machete, spent 11 years behind bars for drug, murder, and robbery charges. And Mark Wahlberg blinded a man in one eye with a wooden stick. The only difference between Allen and these other stars with stained pasts is that Allen has never been charged, whereas all the others have.

Allen makes great films – it’s also possible that Allen does not make great personal choices – but luckily these two things are not related. Allen was not present at the Golden Globes to receive the controversy-ridden Cecil B. DeMille Award, and instead longtime friend and one-time girlfriend Diane Keaton accepted it on his behalf. She gushed about his brilliance and about his contribution to female characters in film, proven simply by the 10 actresses who have starred in an Allen film and taken home an Oscar as a result. The camera panned about to countless A-listers who have worked with Allen smiling knowingly along: Julia Roberts, Cate Blanchett, Emma Stone, and others. They seemed to harbour no resentment, only gratitude for the opportunity to work with the film legend. No scowls or wagging fingers seemed to appear as the montage of his work rolled on, showcasing some of the most memorable lines in film and beautiful backdrops.

The irony is in the fact that Allen hates award shows. This would explain his absence at the Golden Globes that night. Allen dismissed the opportunity to graciously accept a huge honour – but at 78, he likely doesn’t need the validation and has placed his

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Those who enjoy Allen's work (you either really do or really don’t) and support the HFP’s decision to bestow the lifetime achievement on him have been met with dilemma. By supporting the award, those on the other side of the fence have made a harsh distinction: by celebrating and standing

by Allen, you’re coincidentally standing by child molestation. One should keep in mind that Allen was investigated and never charged in regards to the molestation allegation, as well as having never actually adopted his now wife, Soo-Yin Previn, Allen’s private life is just that: private. Does Allen’s life outside his films take anything away from triumphs such as Annie Hall, a film that completely reshaped the romantic comedy genre and took home best picture award at the Oscars in 1977?

Does it make his earlier work, like Sleeper, any less hilarious? Should fan favourites such as Midnight in Paris, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and Tiger Lily suddenly lose their validity and be tossed from video libraries because the creative force behind them may have some real issues with what’s appropriate? No, not really.

It seems unfair to slam Allen’s work based on his colourful personal life. He isn’t the only big name in the business to have behaved badly. Home Improvement’s popular TV dad, Tim Allen, spent years entertaining kids, even voicing Buzz Lightyear in Pixar’s epic trilogy Toy Story, but had previously been arrested for dealing cocaine. The ever charming Hugh Grant Britishly bumbled his way into receiving oral sex from a Hollywood

THE CAPILANO COURIER

At the 2014 Golden Globe Awards a wave of angry thunder was rumbling just beyond the red carpet.

Iconic filmmaker Woody Allen was to be awarded the Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award, sparking heated debate over social media early that Sunday evening. The decision turned this year’s Golden Globes into one of the most divisive in recent memory. The question is whether or not the 93 bestowed members of the Hollywood Foreign Press (HFP) should be celebrating the work of a filmmaker surrounded by highly publicized scandal, which includes the molestation of his adopted seven-year-old daughter Malone Farrow, and a torrid affair and later marriage to “adopted” daughter, Soo-Yin Previn.

Regardless of personal scandals, Allen continues to build a legacy as a filmmaker with his career now spanning over 50 years. He has had one of the most successful careers in the film industry, with a total of 73 movies, a feat in itself made all the more impressive considering that Allen has not only directed, but written and starred in many of the films as well. His latest film, Blue Jasmine, has already brought in a lot of award show buzz with Cate Blanchett bringing home best actress award at this year’s Golden Globes for her leading role in the film. At 78, Allen is continuing to make masterful portraits of neurosis and vignettes of romanticism that connect with audiences. Instead of allowing gossip-mongers to reshape his legacy with scandal, Allen’s work should stand on its own and speak for itself – in a neurotic staccato preferably.

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What can the past teach you about tomorrow?

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This is just one question that Karissa Patton (BA ‘13) is asking at the University of Lethbridge in the Master of Arts program.

The MA program at the U of L offers you a personal and customized degree so you can answer the questions that interest you the most. You will explore innovative and interdisciplinary areas of research while working alongside faculty members who are world-renowned experts in their fields.

Apply by February 1 for Summer 2014 or Fall 2014. All applicants will be considered for the School of Graduate Studies Award of Excellence worth $10,000.

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cyber -‐ bullying bill EXAMINING BOTH SIDES OF BILL C-13 Steve Tornes × Writer - CON

Kristi Alexandra × Copy Editor - PRO

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cluding making it a crime to share unconsented intimate images of a person – because people could possibly be embarrassed by the notion that someone who has no investment in their personal life now knows they have a predilection for gay pornography? What non-supporters of Bill C-13 are saying is that the bill doesn’t necessarily pinpoint the issue, but takes a stab at it while gathering up a bunch of other, unrelated issues that are ultimately a threat to our personal privacy. And they’re right, but rejecting the bill based on that logic isn’t helping cyber-bullying victims.

If approving Bill C-13 means that the Kody Maxsons of the world are prosecuted before a teenage girl takes her own life, then personally, I’m fine with the police knowing how many times I’ve googled “Natural Remedy for a Bladder Infection” this year.

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What the government is interested in, however, are habits of people who could potentially tear away at society’s social fabrics – say, perhaps, like Kody Maxson, the alleged blackmailer that extorted and distributed nude photos of Amanda Todd, preceding her suicide. Had Maxson – or even Todd herself – known that the government could be watching via an anti-cyber-bullying crime bill, the predator might not have elicited those fateful, nude photos of a minor. Same goes for any potential online pedophile, whether they are downloading child pornography en masse, or even worse, creating and uploading it.

Sure, it’s fear mongering, but how can we test its effectiveness if we refuse to give it a try? In an editorial by the Globe and Mail, Tabatha Southey writes, “Bill C-13 touches upon cyberbullying in an almost cursory manner. It makes it a crime to share an intimate image without the consent of the person depicted in that image – a reasonable provision – but much else in the bill seems tacked on simply to increase police powers to investigate our online activities.”

While Southey and her readers arguably have a point, is it fair to forgo the bill altogether – in-

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It would be naïve to say that bill C-13’s proposal to memorialize cyber-bullying suicide victims Amanda Todd and Rehtaeh Parsons isn’t an attractive public relations move that actually attempts to approve a sweeping, omnibus crime bill. In the wake of our over-surveillanced cyber world, should bill C-13 pass, we are opting into a virtual panopticon in which we are living with the constant fear of being watched. Much like signing up for a Facebook account, if you read the fine print, it’s a flexible invasion of privacy.

When it comes to privacy, many people argue on the side of civil liberties – renegade and whistle-blower Edward Snowden proved this just last year when he leaked classified information that revealed the U.S. had a much heavier hand in its citizens private affairs than they knew. And we are entitled to our private affairs, whether that means being able to Google “Natural Remedies for a Bladder Infection” without fear of being an eyebrow-raising statistic, or signing up for infamous pro-extra-marital affairs website, AshleyMadison. com; but when it comes to those, ahem, affairs, it’s probably safe to say the government is largely disinterested — even if they do know about it.

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Bill C-13 was not made to help victims of cyber bulling. There are over 50 pages of this bill, but cyber bullying is limited to only two of those pages. Since only 10 out of the 47 clauses of the bill are related to cyber bullying, this is clearly an omnibus bill. An omnibus bill is a proposed bill which covers many unrelated topics, and forces a politician to vote for or against the entire bill, which contains sections they will like and dislike.

For example, in Bill C-13, a politician is forced to vote for anti-cyber bullying legislation as well as increased mass surveillance. As former opposition leader Stephen Harper has said, “Mr. Speaker, I would argue that the subject matter of the bill is so diverse that a single vote on the content would put members in conflict with their own principles.”

The very method of an omnibus bill is aggressive, uncompromising, and inflammatory.

But even if you were okay with an omnibus bill, willing to sacrifice a little liberty for greater security, it doesn’t properly protect the victims.

The problem is that the bill’s focus on cyber bulling is limited to the distribution of intimate images without consent. This is already covered by voyeurism and child pornography laws. It merely reinforces the existing laws. Moreover, the distribution of intimate images is only one facet of cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is a far larger issue, incorporating taunts, threats, blackmail, and various other malicious acts.

To give credit, the bill does indeed update the laws for a more modern era, and there is stuff to be in favour of, but that is the nature of omnibus bills.

It lulls you into thinking that the good outweighs the bad. For example, M.P. Sean Casey said, before Bill C-13, the evidentiary standard for getting an electronic records warrant “was ‘reasonable and probable grounds to believe’ the commission of an offence. That evidentiary standard is being lowered from ‘reasonable and probable grounds to believe to ‘reasonable suspicion.’”

The fact that mere suspicion can be used to obtain a warrant is worrisome. This is no longer the same world as before. This is a world of spy networks and government overreach. This is a world where the NSA was allowed to spy in Canada during the G20 Toronto Summit. This is a world where the NSA has been caught listening to private conversations of allied world leaders and CSEC spied on Brazilian government ministries. In this world of 1984, do we really want to increase government surveillance, adding the ability to implement warrants on mere suspicions?

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Staff Editorial i love fashion -‐ i hate it too Carlo Javier × Staff Writer

People have rituals before they sleep. Some pray, some have a warm tea and others read a book. For me, I like to plan. I think of which sweater and which chinos fit together, I analyze which pea coat is most appropriate in regards to the rest of my ensemble, and I like to pick which scarf complements my shirt. I plan outfits on a nightly basis, and enjoy keeping up with the trend.

I gain a good amount of satisfaction when I see that my paycheque is hanging nicely in my closet(s), and even more happiness when I put together single items that won’t be appealing when worn on their own otherwise.

Yes I am, so to speak, a fashion snob.

I spend a lot of time on my hair every morning.

I strictly follow a step-by-step process that allows for styled and sustainable hair, one that can stay in place for the rest of the day. First, I make sure that I never towel dry my hair, instead, the heat from a blow dryer provides the initial framework of how I want my hair to look. Also, most any hair products can only be fully utilized when applied on truly dried hair – something a towel just cannot achieve. After that, I use a handy mini-straightener to (ironically) curl the front tips of my hair, this allows me to rock a pseudo-pompadour inspired by both Miguel and Zayn Malik. Then comes the product. Wax allows me to build my hair into the shape I desire and the matte finish gives it a dry, natural look. The last touch comes from a few sprays of styling hairspray.

Yes, all these things take up time, money and a lot of effort, but sometimes we need to separate ourselves from the rest of the pack, and if fashion is the best way for me to do that, then I’ll put the effort in.

I’ve also come to question myself on what motivates me to put in the effort to be fashionable.

The (very) narcissistic part of me will refuse to answer with insecurities. I’m short and have fought acne like Harry Potter fought Lord Voldemort.

The rest of me will however say that fashion is one of my outlets of creativity – apart from writing of course. It’s self-expression without saying anything, sometimes without even doing anything.

At one point, I was a very eager Lookbook user.

Lookbook is fashion-centred, photo-blogging website that allows people to create their own online portfolios by uploading looks. These looks then navigate the website’s newsfeed by virtue of “hype.” Similar to Facebook’s “likes,” Lookbook has a system that gauges popularity. Users can “hype” looks that they find appealing and they can also “fan” other users who they wish to follow.

What makes Lookbook an effective fashion-based social media site is the capacity to tag the clothes you are wearing. Users can label the brand and the store where they bought it, and even the price.

My own looks were limited to the Zaras and the H&Ms, my combined salary as a journalist and at McDonald’s simply weren’t going to get me the Givenchy shirts and the En Noir leather sweatpants – which I do really want. Apart from that, I was very happy with the way I assembled individual clothing articles together.

However, Lookbook suffers from the same curse that many other websites are born with – a comments section. Interestingly enough, in this case, it’s not about overwhelming negativity from web trolls. On the contrary, it’s about the positivity – too much of it.

During my active use of Lookbook, never did

#CAPCOURIER @CAPILANOCOURIER

× Cheryl Swan I see a single critique. Everyone loved everything.

Even the worst combination of styles would still receive loving support.

Lookbook also exemplified the worst aspect of the fashion world: it certainly can be a massive circle jerk for everyone involved.

The juxtaposition of the beautiful and the ugly when it comes to fashion is astounding. We have companies and cultural icons that dictate what’s cool and what’s not cool. Some of these companies operate in a very unethical system, where children and women are forced into labour, sometimes even chained to their work; physically chained. It’s no secret that some of the mass-producing retailers are clandestinely breaking human rights laws for the sake of production and revenue.

The people who run the fashion industry – the business of looking good – some of them take the worst path to success.

Rapper, producer and noted fashion designer Kanye West said it best, “The prettiest people do

the ugliest things, for the road to riches, and diamond rings,” he rapped on “All Falls Down”.

Fashion is more than an industry. It’s an art. It’s a creative outlet to some, and to others it provides a mask. It could be to hide the scars and insecurities, or it could be to hide the dirty and immoral route the clothes took to get to the nearest retail store.

It’s a vice to consumers – it’s my vice, that’s for sure.

To answer my self-imposed question on why I spend the time and money to be fashionable? If I could even label myself that.

I can confirm that, like many of us, I’m just a pawn of consumerism.

I’m also a hypocrite. As much as I criticize fashion, I still adore it – from the upscale, stupid expensive brands like Givenchy, the over-priced street wear icons like Billionaire Boys Club, to the human rights violators like Zara.

Provided the money, I’ll buy all their shit, too.

CAP-ture of the week

47 ISSUE N O . 15

Check out our new stand in the cafeteria -- our staff writer, Carlo, has been standing here all week!

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@CAPCOURIER #CAPCOURIER #CARLO #DAPPER #NOISLAND #HANDSOME

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@mrcarlojavier

caboose

JEREMY HANLON CABOOSE EDITOR

CABOOSE.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

fear and speeding in the big blue sky Mike Ros × Writer I was somewhere in the sky when I remember waking up.

It’s the usual: alone, drifting off into space, flying naked (forgetting to go to bed with at least pajama pants on).

I recognize this feeling very well. It’s one big sprawl, every limb in its most awkward position, every body part twisted. That’s what this does to you. Twisted so that time and space and rules need not apply. This is the far side of reality. You’re this high in the sky and the point of no return is now irrelevant.

My acquaintance and I are flying above our city staring at all the skyscrapers below. Big, steel, concrete giants - you could play Jenga with them and never reach our level. To me they’re just propped up matchboxes, if you knock over one there’d be a crazed domino effect (which would wreak havoc, by all means).

It’s morning now. My part of the world is waking up. Mother Nature, who is not only a mother but an accomplished artist, is currently painting the horizons orange and the clouds white.

Talk about clouds. Once you fly into a cloud you’re immediately surrounded by cloud matter or -as I like to call it- the colour white. It doesn’t feel like you’re being wrapped in suffocating plastic per se. You’re more or less swimming in the stuff.

Imagine an Olympic-sized pool filled with tasteless whipped cream - yeah, that’s what it’s like. (It’s not purgatory, as my acquaintance would rather tell you).

Today we’re travelling too fast. Losing control almost - but worrying about losing control is sky taboo. Despair outside the departure lounge is like clinging to the edge of a mile high cliff with a dollar-store icepick. It’s unacceptable to even entertain the thought (you can however, entertain

the thought of falling, the solution being going to bed with a parachute strapped to your back).

“What are you going on about over there?” my acquaintance yells at me over the deafening wind.

I call him my acquaintance because he is about the only person I ever see up here frequently. Also, since we aren’t exactly friends, I have nothing else to call him.

“What are you talking about?” I yell back.

I haven’t said a word out loud, unless I’ve been meshing thoughts and sounds (not uncommon).

“It doesn’t matter; can I ask you a question? Can you lend me some money?”

“For what?!” I reply.

“For the game tomorrow, and I need some cash for the bars.”

I ignore the answer even though I responded to the question. Asking for money when we’re this high up and out of control should be an obvious non-priority. I change the subject and half-yell back “Are you in control?!”

I can see my associate’s upper lip flipping back on his face. He gives a garbled “YES.” Behind us in the distance there’s a siren, growing louder and louder.

“WE BLEW IT,” my associate shouts. I assess the situation. The psychology dealing with skyward traffic cops is different than the local interstate speed police. It’s a different animal entirely, a different beast. There could be anyone on our asses. Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great - any dead person, any ghost.

Sure enough it’s God himself. He’s on his white, turbine-equipped sky-cycle. His shiny grey beard is hanging in curls down to his belly. He stops us and pulls us over to the edge of a cloud.

“Excuse me gentlemen. Do you have any idea how fast you’ve been going? Let alone the fact you’re currently flying in an unregistered flight zone?”

Speeding is one thing, flying in unregistered

perseverance Steve Tornes × Writer

One could persevere, I suppose, as a sycamore.

Those fertile waters, quiet now, Have exposed the roots they once nourished.

The soil, Washed away, Provides far younger trees With growth.

47 ISSUE N O . 15

Life is hard, existing by muddy waters.

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The newspaper, no doubt made from some distant relative, is tragic; a eulogy.

Turns out he’s wanted for seven - seven - charges issued here flying in the big, blue sky. Seven counts of breaking the sky-law, five of those counts related to lascivious behavior, three of those specifically over the state of Wisconsin.

Now me, I haven’t got a business card on me, let alone a bus pass. God doesn’t know if I’m the next State Senator or if, what’s more likely (!), I’m partner in crime to my age old acquaintance here.

This is a bombshell on my hands. The only course of action there is... feigning no correlation with the guilty. I wasn’t going out swinging at the feet of God. I was going out rationalizing.

“Look,” I say to God, stammering, “I really hate to interrupt the findings, but listen - I realize I was speeding in an unregistered flying zone - listen, I’m sorry - I really am. I didn’t mean any of it.

But listen, I’ve got a clean record, I need to be somewhere soon, it’s almost ten and I don’t even have any pants on. This here - this isn’t even my friend, this isn’t even my associate. He’s just this guy I keep seeing here and running parallel flight paths with, and that’s it, and -” God raises his right hand. There’s something in his expression, something happening in his eyes. I can tell he’s thinking. What are the consequences of taking us under arrest? What would be the length of the time-bending ordeal? Is he going to have to testify for hours on end, day after day in grey courtrooms across the city?

He sort of looked at me. His blue eyes were twinkling. He winked and we were free to go.

×

A gentle breeze Rattles leaves And cracks limbs.

They shake at the sun, As well as insects And myself, reading under its shade.

flight zones is another. This is God on our hands, a man who means business. There isn’t any time to joke around. I turn to my associate. “I’ll take care of this.”

“Officer - your holiness - my acquaintance and I here have just found ourselves, literally, awoken to these winds. I assure you, we’re just on our way out in the direction we came in. As soon as we can get back to the coast we’ll be - - “ My associate butts in, “God, do you - by all your standards - do you really need that motorcycle up here?!”

I can’t tell if that’s politics or if he’s genuinely interested in why God is using a motorcycle when we all know he doesn’t need one, but the question’s a mistake. I can tell God is tensing. He tugs at the mesh of grey rolling down his chin.

“I’m going to need to see some license and registration from both of you.”

Jesus. Christ.

I’m here in nothing but my grace and glory and I’m being asked to take out my license and registration? Of anyone God should be able to tell it’s not on me. Now he’s probably just suspicious, but at who? He probably thinks my associate is under the influence. What happens then? What’s worse than a DUI in an unregistered flight zone?

My acquaintance throws God his wallet.

‘There it is. Check it’s there -.’

God cuts him off; he puts his hand up and lets out a deep sigh. He pulls out a small computer screen on the dash of the motorcycle, enters in some digits, and pulls up my acquaintance’s profile.

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The trees, by muddy water, did warn me With their shaking leaves and bare roots That life is hard.

× Jackson Butchart

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caboose

JEREMY HANLON CABOOSE EDITOR

CABOOSE.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

SHOTGUN REVIEWS: MUSICAL ACTS

GORILLAZ

KAYNE WEST

STING: SONGS FROM THE LABYRINTH

Z - MACHINES

Gabriel Scorgie // Writer

Alva Tee // Writer

Andy Rice // Arts + Culture Editor

James Martin // Writer

Gorillaz can be described as the love child derived from a passionate musical ménage à trois between Britpop, electronic, and rap. Any band that has a music video featuring Snoop Dogg standing on top of a windmill rapping about a revolution while synthesizers and a brass ensemble play in the background alongside dancing monkeys is not one that just flies under the radar. Staples of Gorillaz include animated homeless monkeys and a blue gangster ghost that raps. Normal isn’t a word that is usually applied to them – but even if a blue gangster ghost isn’t normal, it’s badass.

Band holidays consist of visiting five-star asylums, sun tanning on plastic beaches, and travelling via only the most luxurious flying windmills. They spare no expense on travel and luxury but after all these years, the lead gorilla still hasn’t bothered to replace those missing teeth of his. In a world where Lady Gaga, Die Antwoord, and meat dresses exist, this band has still managed to make people go, “What the fuck?” every time you watch a music video, a feat that cannot be understated. Gorillaz show everyone what can happen when you aren’t afraid to be different or consume an outrageous quantity of drugs.

Yo, I’m really happy for Kanye and Imma let him finish but, actually, no, I just don’t think he should. His music features insignificant lyrics with no deeper meaning, yet when talking about his new song "Bound 2", he has the dignity to claim that he is as creative as Walt Disney. I can hardly believe that the lyrics, “She asked what I wished for on the wishlist/Have you ever asked your bitch for other bitches?” took any creativity. West may think of himself as a “modern day poet,” but I doubt Mickey would win Minnie’s heart by trying to woo her with that one. While the lyrics are already lacking, the video is even more ridiculous. West tries to explain it by saying that it's "meant to be bad” and that it's "a reflection of the Hunger Games world we live in." But honestly? No justification would make the video any better. I would much rather watch James Franco and Seth Rogen make out in their “Bound 3” parody video any day. I know I’m tired of Kanye’s lovin’ (uh huh honey).

Roxanne didn’t have to turn on the red light and neither did Sting’s recording engineer during sessions for his 2006 album Songs from the Labyrinth.

But he did, and the world ended up with an album of 23 John Dowland covers performed by a new wave superstar. J-Dow was kind of a big deal in the medieval music scene of the 1500s. You may not remember him. Now, don’t get me wrong. John Dowland himself wasn’t all that weird, and neither is Sting at first glance, but it’s the combination of the two that gets me. Actually, I take that back.

Sting is kind of weird. The guy has a sex dungeon in the basement of his mansion, and he looks to be in remarkably good shape for someone my dad’s age. In fact, that’s how I know my parents weren’t hiding an extra room in the house during the pivotal years of my childhood. You can’t imagine how much this comforts me. Sting’s friggin lute album on the other hand? So much pain. I guess not every little thing he does is magic.

Z-Machines is a Japanese-based metal trio. They're also all robots. With wires dangling and weird lights flashing, these computerized beings are able to perfectly execute every single song at inhuman speeds whist simultaneously head-banging, sticktwirling, and filling your mind with an ever-growing sense of unease. It's hard to put your finger on what exactly makes this group so subtlety terrifying. Maybe it's the guitar player's lack of eyes, the most recognizable of human facial features, replaced instead with a screen displaying flashing patterns and odd phrases such as "POSITIVITY" and "THAT IS YOUR POSSIBILITY." Maybe it's the drummer's six arms, reminding you that no matter how much time you invest in your chosen craft, they can probably design a robot that is instantly better than you by default. Or maybe it's just the fact that our puny 21st century minds just aren't ready for this kind of shit yet. This group seems like it should only exist as the house band for the grimy pro-droids metal bar down the alley from the Mos Eisley Cantina on Tatooine rather than here on Earth today.

REALITY

× Garth, Phillip & Liam

W/ FAYE ALEXANDER TOMATOES WITH BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE TECHNICAL FRUIT SALAD STANDARDS FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY DISAPPOINTMENT

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