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× FEBRUARY 17TH 2014

CAPILANO NORTH VANCOUVER

AT E E

ISSUE

N O . 17

COURIER

X P ECT AT ION S

L A C I S Y H P E TH S E K R A U T G E I F R S F O S L A I TR

SHREK

SPERM DONORS

UNETHICAL MINING

SENATE UPDATE

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47 ISSUE N O . 17

CAPILANO Courier

Capilanocourier.com

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News

A+C

features

calendar

opinions

columns

CABOOSE

Hip Hop Classes

Ross Is Boss

Half Cocked

Bobby's Nipples

I.O.C...Oh I See

Noodle Caboodle

Cat Out Of Hell

Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

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@capcourier

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The Staff

Katherine Gillard News Editor

of this aging and sagging university newspaper

Kristi Alexandra Copy Editor

Andy Rice Arts + Culture Editor

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Therese Guieb Features Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Faye Alexander Opinions Editor

Jeremy Hanlon Caboose Editor

Scott Moraes Managing Editor

Carlo Javier Staff Writer

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Lindsay Howe Marketing + Web Editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

Alva Tee, Paisley Conrad, Suzanne Helen James, Kevin Kapenda, Julia Gabriel, Michael Ros, Christine Janke, Reuben Krabbe, Layla Domino, Keara Farnan, Steve Tornes, Gabriel Scorgie, Calvin deGroot

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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@capilanocourier

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CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:

Josh Seinen, Sydney Danger, Danielle Mainman, Crystal Lee, Ksenia Kozhevnikova, Lilian Leung, Alain Champange, Jana Vanduin, Arin Ringwald, Vivian Liu, Chris Dedinsky, Kristen Wright, Tierney Milne, Kelsey Holden, Cole Pauls, Megan Collinson, Tina Furesz, Jackson Butchart

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

let's get old together " I can relate to having those people in your life that you feel are moving on to this great, big, normal life and you’re like, ‘What’s wrong with me?” - Kristen Wiig

I was a disgusting child. Plump, inarticulate and sporting a mushroom cut, the only people who thought I was cute were the people that had to: my parents. I also had a medical condition that caused snot to constantly stream out of my nose. For a four-year-old girl, the amount of boogers that I produced should be marveled at. It was like a faucet that never stopped dripping. Altogether, it was quite the sight.

Chuck E. Cheese was the place to party when I was that age and I insisted on hosting my fifth birthday there. My parents set it all up and I put on my pink party dress for the occasion. I was bouncing around in the ball pen with my friend Jennifer and my father was watching us throw little rubber balls around. At some point, the fun turned to fear, and my legs weren’t able to touch the bottom of the pen. It was only three feet deep, but I couldn’t get my chubby legs to stop from slipping out from underneath me. I was drowning in a pen full of balls.

My dad saw the terrified look on my face, and started coaching me through it.

“Stand up, Leah. Stand up in the ball pen,” he shouted from the edge of the pen. Regardless of his efforts, this didn’t help and I kept stumbling around. In a moment, my dad dove into the ball pen and rescued me.

Apparently it was quite the scene, with a 40-year-old man diving into a small space littered with kids and balls, but he did it to protect his little girl. He saved me from a ball pen where I was safe the entire time.

This came up in a recent phone call to my dad. It was just before reading break, and I had been plagued with a cold. I was weak, sniffling and had Kleenex stuffed up my nose, just like I did when I was four. I whined freely to my dad about him driving six hours to come and take care of me. I demanded homemade soup, a bedtime story and cough drops. After I exhausted all of my complaints, my dad calmly said, “Leah, you have to stand up in the ball pen.”

Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief

This thought lingered all week. When I was a young, snot-ridden child, my parents would do nearly anything to protect me, even when there was no direct danger to me. Now that I’m tip-toeing my way into adulthood, I’m still depending on the comfort that they will be there whenever I need it, just to remind me that I’m safe. But maybe my dad is right in wanting me to stand up on my own – to make my own soup and read a Danielle Steele novel to myself. I know that the cold will go away, just like I should have known that I wouldn’t drown in a three-foot deep pool of balls.

Aging is a concept I’ve been thinking about recently. Last week, I had another birthday, which was celebrated with a cigar, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a couple of hangovers. The week before my birthday, my mom called and said, “Twenty-eight. Wow, you’re getting old.” And yes, I am, in relation to her and everyone else. We are all aging, getting older and changing our priorities accordingly. The comforting thing about aging is that everyone suffers it, and that not even Angelina Jolie is immune to its sagging effects.

I always suffer from a bout of introspection around this time of year. The fortnight before Feb. 13 is spent thinking about all the things I didn’t do last year and vowing to do all the things I want to do in the next. There are more resolutions made than at New Year’s. When my mom was 28, she was married with a child and had another one on the way. I am terribly single, have two cats and a Jeep to my name.

I can understand her concerns of my aging with few securities around me, but she needs to know that I will be okay; that I will be safe even though my life choices don’t parallel hers. And, to be honest, I need to understand this, too. I’m continually questioning my life choices, worried that I made a misstep along the way, one that I will be too old to rectify if I need to. But these questions are probably just holding me back from pursuing the decisions I made. Stop questioning and start focusing – well, that’s almost like standing up in a ball pen.

tweets from their seats

THE VOICE BOX

Justin Bieber @justinbieber What do u want for valentines day?

with: Scott Moraes

“I've been watching the Olympics and it makes me mad.

This may sound insensitive, but why do people get paid and get admired for skating on ice when I'm still not worthy of a decent wage after reading 50 books a year and getting a degree and working my ass off?”

“I'm spending another Valentine's Day alone. What am I doing wrong? Is it me?”

Oh dear. I don't know who you are so I'm afraid that question might be a bit specific. Even if you're bitter or sad, milk it for all it's worth. Given that V-Day is the ultimate Hallmark holiday of the century, you should write funny V-Day cards for people

“I find it very strange that people call me an ‘old soul’ because I'm the only one not playing Flappy Birds on my phone. When did we become so pressured to keep up with the most idiotic trends just to fit in? People need to stop being such pussies and start actually having personalities.”

Why do I just get bitter messages? Why can't everyone be friends? Birdless friend, I agree with you. People are pussies.

But maybe think of the therapeutic properties of the idiotic trends you so vehemently criticize. Maybe Flappy Birds is a tool for emotionally fragile people to get distracted. Maybe that's a terrible idea. Maybe Flabby Baboons will be a wake-up call for people to start exercising. I don't know what I'm talking about – I'm just hopelessly optimistic. What is Flappy Birds?

Xbox Jobs @xboxjobs Overheard in the office today: "He'd be perfect...if he wasn't so bad at #Halo." Happy Valentine's Day! Miss Faye @thecellardoor_Feb 11 15 year old boys in the halfpipe make me feel bad about my abilities at 27 in the halfpipe #menshalfpipe #Sochi2014 #idontdosports #idoME CDN Olympic Team @CDNOlympicTeam Jeff Carter scores a hat trick, lifts #TeamCanada to 6-0 win over Austria.

GQ Magazine @GQMagazine Are you a Transformer? Because if you were, you'd be Optimus Fine. #GQPickupLines

No Island @NoIslandBand Feb 11 Safe to say that our 2014 Winter Tour was quite the blur.

Thanks to all in #Kelowna, #Banff, #Stavely, and #Golden!

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CapilanoBlues @CapilanoBlues #MBB: The Blues won last nights game against the @ cbcBearcats 85-61. Good job Blues! #CapUnite

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The Voicebox is back, ready to humbly respond to your questions, concerns, and comments about anything. To inquire, just send a text to 778 - 689 - 4642 to anonymously "express" and "voice" your "opinion" and "thoughts" on any "subject" or "issue". And, as long as it's not offensive, we will publish it here, right in the Voicebox. It's a win - win, or whine - whine - whatever way you look at it.

Katrina Armstrong @katrinaboards If you doubt Patrick Chan's citizenship, watching him say "I'm sorry" to the camera after receiving his score is confirmation #CanadaProud

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James @jamesyyjames I wished a homeless man a happy valentine's day and he gave me a hug, but I think it was an attempt to steal my wallet

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Well, at least you don't have to retire when you're 25 and then worry about knee surgeries and the fact that you've been feeding on a grandiose dream of skating your life away wearing sparkles and never having to have an actual job. You don't have to be that emotionally damaged 30 year old taking some shitty program at community college just to get a “career.” Enjoy the fact that you can feast on knowledge and pizzas, and never ever envy an athlete.

who hate the day and everything about it. Make them e-cards though, 'cause these people don't actually want to go to the store and buy something that clearly says they're dying alone.

Also, do rely on something else for primary income.

Alan Garner @WolfpackAlan Beyoncé is so famous you don't even notice how ghetto her name is.

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NEWS

KATHERINE GILLARD NEWS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

canada's top ad executive AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FOR BUSINESS STUDENTS Keara Farnan × Writer This January, Capilano University offered a competition called Canada’s Next Top Exec, which provides students with the opportunity to introduce their own experimental ideas outside of class time. It's a challenge for business students to create a marketing and communications plan for Chevrolet in hopes of winning the title of “Top Ad Exec” The winners will receive a brand new 2014 Chevrolet Camaro, two $1,000 scholarships, two $2,500 scholarships, as well as an internship with companies such as McDonald's, Pepsi Co., and many other businesses.

“The competition is entirely student-run with the generous support of the sponsoring organization and advisors. Indeed, it would not be possible to hold such a contest without the support of motivated partners that are committed to investing in this learning experience and that believe in the development of future Canadian business leaders,” explains Michael Forsyth, co-chair for Top Ad Exec.

2014 marks Top Ad Exec's eighth year of managing this competition and it is expected that there will be over 60,000 submissions from over 60 universities. Next year's event will be open to business and commerce undergraduates and MBA students as well as those minoring in business and marketing. McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario will host this event in support of their students and the organizational sponsors and advisors.

“The contest was created by Professor Mandeep Malik with the purpose of establishing a bridge

between industry and universities through the transfer of expertise, mentorship and career opportunities in the fields of marketing, strategy and communications,” adds Forsyth.

Top Ad Exec encourages learning outside of the classroom and provides students with the chance to use their creative and strategic faculties through coming up with a real-life solution for a company such as Chevrolet Canada. Contenders will be able to voice their opinion to senior executives, some of whom are recognized by top employers.

“Finalists are selected on a number of criteria such as the creativity of the campaign, the media strategy and the ability to think out of the box,” says Julie Ly, co-chair for Top Ad Exec.

Business students taking part in the competition registered online through September and January, submitted their phase one submission by Jan. 27, and their phase two by Feb. 24.

“The competition involves three distinct phases.

For the two first phases of the competition, students’ submissions are sent electronically. The top 10 finalists are then brought to downtown Toronto to pitch their ideas in front of a panel of 30 influential industry executives and academic experts to showcase why they should be crowned Top Ad Exec. Students who are not selected as the 10 finalists are still able to attend the closing ceremony gala in Toronto on March 25. The 2014 Ad Exec Gala in Toronto is one of the best networking opportunities for competitors and non-competitors alike,” adds Forsyth.

All submissions need a cover page for both phases, every piece of information must be valid

× Crystal Lee and teams proven to have inaccurate information will be eliminated.

“The freedom, challenge and curiosity, the classroom does not always offer. They also develop habits valued by employers – learning and operating effectively in teams, dealing with ambiguity, overcoming adversity and thriving in situations with limited resources and direction. In effect, students change their traditionally held views of teaching and learning,” adds Forsyth.

Past winners include students from the University of Guelph, Queens and York, some of which had the chance to work student jobs at companies such as Pepsi Co. and Canadian Tire. Top Ad Exec

consists of McMaster commerce students working towards making this event a huge success yearly.

The team spends hours finding appropriate sponsoring, visiting campuses, recruiting judges and promoting the contest all throughout Canada, as well as planning and coming up with each individual project phase.

“Top Ad Exec is far from just a student competition. It also offers valuable industry engagement and builds mentoring relationships with business leaders in the fields of marketing, strategy and communications. It allows students to gain industry exposure, build their portfolio, and network with Canada's top student talent,” says Ly.

switching up the senate RIGHTEOUS REFORM OR PARTISAN POLITICS Steve Tornes

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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On Jan. 29, Canadian politics were changed by the sudden removal of senators from the Liberal Caucus. The unexpected nature of this event has left political spectators, reporters and the senators themselves guessing at the implications of such a move. Many were left wondering if the removal of senators was a genuine attempt at reform or a political maneuver for the upcoming election.

Justin Trudeau, leader of the Liberal Party, described his actions as a two-fold attack on Senate partisanship and patronage, saying, “The Senate was once referred to as a place of sober, second thought.… Instead of being separate from political or electoral concerns, senators must now consider not just what is best for their country or their regions, but what’s best for their party. At best, this renders the Senate redundant [imitating partisan MPs]. At worst … it amplifies the prime minister’s power.” According to Trudeau, his removal of the senators from the Liberal Caucus was to make them independent, and therefore, to better represent the will of the country.

However, simply because the senators are no longer part of the Liberal Caucus does not mean that they are no longer Liberals. After Trudeau’s announcement, former Liberal senators held a meeting behind closed doors, emerging to say that

they would work together as a Senate Liberal Caucus. Prime Minister Harper mocked them, saying, “I gather the change announced by the Liberal leader today is that unelected liberal senators will become unelected senators who happen to be liberal.” Although the senators are no longer part of the caucus, they are still senators who have chosen to organize themselves in a group. Therefore, it becomes questionable of how much Trudeau’s move has accomplished. As Michael Charrois, NDP candidate for North Vancouver, says, “Nothing [has changed], people are still being paid to work on partisan work.”

However, Trudeau has made a pledge for longterm future reform, promising to “put in place an open, transparent, non-partisan public process for appointing and confirming Senators.” This means that, although Trudeau’s action may have little current effect, it could demonstrate an actual resolve for Senate reform. It remains hard to judge the motives and future actions of politicians – after all, Harper campaigned for an elected Senate yet appointed 59 senators.

There are various criticisms of Trudeau’s plan itself. It is possible that since senators are not elected but appointed, the senators were held accountable to their respective parties. By making senators independent, they have become answerable only unto themselves. Due to the many recent Senate scandals, more accountability might be desired.

Opposition leader Thomas Mulcair has suggested that Trudeau’s actions are purely political, since the NDP introduced a motion in October to make senators non-partisan, just as Trudeau now promises. However, Trudeau says he voted against the motion because it tried to dictate how Senate resources could, or could not, be used. It would have been an unconstitutional motion, since the House of Commons can not tell the Senate what actions to take.

Mulcair also suggested that Trudeau wants to separate the Liberal Party from any future scandals of liberal senators – the looming attorney general’s report will be released shortly. However, Trudeau has never had the chance to appoint any senators, so any Senate scandals would, at most, be linked to his party but not to himself. For Harper, on the other hand, scandals created by senators he himself appointed would be a reflection on him.

This is because the only person who can appoint a senator is the prime minister.

The NDP are not won over by Trudeau’s actions because they believe that the Senate should be abolished. The reform, although helpful, would not be considered meaningful in the grand scope.

Michael Charrois says, “We’ve been offered spots in the Senate. We said no because it is unelected, unaccountable and undemocratic.”

However, the move remains politically potent, because it makes Harper vulnerable and removes

Mulcair from the conversation. Harper, after all, has been talking about the reformation of the Senate since before becoming prime minister. Trudeau, in comparison, without even becoming leader of the opposition, has taken potentially more meaning full steps at reform than the prime minister.

Moreover, Mulcair has not had the chance to appoint any senators, and therefore, is unable to do any action to match Trudeau’s.

Even if Trudeau is elected, he would have to deal with a Senate which has a majority of conservative senators. Moreover, since the election is in 2015, it is possible that Harper can fill nine further vacancies. It, therefore, becomes useful to Trudeau make the Senate non-partisan, limiting conservative influence.

Although the removal of senators from the Liberal Caucus has very little effect on current politics, it does have the potential for creating meaningful change in the future. It could eventually create a non-partisan, reformed Senate, or it could spurn Harper to greater action. It is likely too early to tell the impact of Trudeau’s action, at least until after the 2015 election.

news

mixed message KALE MAY NOT BE AS HEALTHY AS IT SEEMS Keara Farnan × Writer Despite kale being relatively healthy, there are reports that eating this leafy green may lead to serious thyroid disease due to high volumes of iodine, as well as teeth rotting. According to Oregon State University’s micronutrient information site, intake of highly cruciferous vegetables has been proven to cause health problems. Steaming or cooking kale releases many of the goitrogens, substances that suppress the thyroid gland by interfering with iodine intakes, which can result in a goiter – an inflammation of the thyroid gland. However, those who have thyroid problems should still avoid eating kale, as the exposure of goitrogens can be dangerous.

Some doctors suggest that patients who have thyroid conditions should consider eliminating foods that contain too many goitrogens and seek treatment from their family doctor.

“Where we may see problems are those who lose sight of moderation. If you have started an all-kale diet or you are juicing large quantities of kale and neglecting sources of iodine, you could run into problems,” says Kate Comeau, a registered dietician in Toronto.

While some doctors say that kale is extremely

healthy, one cannot survive on the green by itself as consuming too much kale could contribute to conditions such as Alzheimer’s Disease, circulation problems, increased levels of cholesterol, fatigue, muscle pain and diarrhoea due to heavy amounts of sorbitol contained within the vegetable.

“Green vegetables like kale, collard greens, broccoli and spinach are great vegetables [for] your everyday diet. In fact, Canadians should be consuming at least one two-cup portion per day,” Comeau explains.

A member of the British Dietetic Association, Natalie Jones explains that juice fasting is not sustainable to the human body as any weight that one loses will eventually be put back on as low calorie diets mess up your metabolism.

Jones states that juice fasting may give someone a sugar rush, but there are no carbohydrates within kale juice, so when it comes to exercising, your body will begin to feel fatigued. Stomach aches are also a major factor of the juice fast diet.

Eating two cups of kale per day, your body is able to get the most nutrition from the vegetable without exceeding the suggested quantity.

“We need to be careful about exaggerating what we read in the media. If you are otherwise healthy and consuming kale or other goitrogens as a part of a balanced diet, there is no need to worry,” says Comeau.

× Alain Champagne

the big one HOW AN EARTHQUAKE CAN AFFECT CAPU Carlo Javier × Staff Writer

× Lilian Leung

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currently don’t have any buildings identified as having issues withstanding an earthquake,” says Doig. Some upgrades have been made in order to improve structures inside a building; however, there are currently no plans to improve the buildings themselves. “In the past years, the ministry has provided funding for life safety issues, including earthquake readiness,” begins Doig. “Last year, one life safety project implemented included remedial work in offices to ensure bookcases were secured in the event of an earthquake.”

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their role,” explains Doig.

However, preparation is not limited to people.

Buildings can also be classified as being “earthquake-proof ” or not.

“There are no significant issues with the buildings on campus, as the oldest one was built in the late ‘70s to B.C. building code standards,” begins Doig.

No matter how sturdy or earthquake-proof a building is, those inside still have to be knowledgeable of what to do when an earthquake does strike. “Depending if the building is vacant or occupied, the preparedness actually may come down to the people in the building. How well trained and engaged we are, and how well the people in the buildings follow the protocols for emergency evacuation should it become necessary,” Doig adds.

Currently, CapU’s buildings are classified as being capable of withstanding earthquakes. “We

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Reports by the Bulletin of the Seismological Society of America revealed grim results about the potential effects an earthquake can have on Vancouver.

An earthquake can be particularly damaging to Metro Vancouver because it lies partly above the Georgia Basin – a layer of softer sedimentary rock that greatly amplifies the effects of an earthquake.

The BSSA reports revealed that the presence of the Georgia Basin strengthens a quake up to three or four times more than is normal.

In an article published by The Globe and Mail, Sheri Molnar of the University of British Columbia’s civil engineering department said, “The shaking in [Metro] Vancouver would be greater because of the presence of the Georgia Basin, especially when the earthquake occurred to the south or southwest.” Molnar is also the lead author of the BSSA reports.

The scenario with the Georgia Basin has been compared to Jell-O enclosed by a hard block of cheese. "We're bringing the earthquake up through the cheese, and then it's suddenly hitting the Jell-O mould and starting to slosh around and bounce around within that Jell-O,” Molnar further described.

The 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami in Japan registered a massive magnitude of 8.9. This was classified as a big subduction earthquake that occurred within the Juan de Fuca plate.

Meanwhile, British Columbia is on the Cascadia subduction zone – the extended sloping fault that splits the Juan de Fuca and the North American plates.

Studies from the BSSA show that an earthquake

with a 6.8 magnitude could potentially impact the city.

Vancouver has been relatively free of powerful earthquakes but, with the results of the studies, preparation for the so-called “Big One” becomes all the more necessary, particularly when considering Vancouver’s natural geographic location.

With the reports that buildings and tall structures would likely swing and sway more than initially thought, students might wonder how buildings at CapU would fare when an earthquake strikes.

Susan Doig, director of facilities, says that in the case of an earthquake, CapU adheres to the provincial emergency management planning protocols. The procedures of Emergency Management B.C. are the same procedures students are used to doing during earthquake drills, with “Drop!

Cover! And Hold On!” being the primary tagline.

Part of CapU’s preparedness strategy is taking part in the annual ShakeOut B.C. drill. “We recognize that it is important we do our part in preparing our campus community in the event of an earthquake. Each October, Capilano University participates in the annual ShakeOut B.C. earthquake drill,” says Doig.

On Oct. 16 every year, millions of people around the world take part in the Great ShakeOut Earthquake Drills – a near global event that helps improve preparation for an earthquake. ShakeOut also aims to raise awareness about the hazards that an earthquake can cause.

“The Emergency Preparedness and Response Management Committee meets throughout the year; a main focus leading up to the ShakeOut B.C. earthquake drill is to ensure our floor and building wardens and others participating in the planning and execution of the event are trained in

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academic hip hop 1,2,3 AND TO THE 4, UNIVERSITIES BRINGING MUSIC TO YOUR CLASSROOM DOOR Michael Ros × Writer

× Ksenia Kozhevnikova

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There’s a new trend of making hip-hop academic.

Cornell University recently launched a hip-hop minor and, as of last October, Harvard University announced details of a hip-hop fellowship (the minor being a humanities concentration in African Studies, the fellowship about having rhythm).

What’s been getting the highest level of attention though, is the University of Missouri, which is offering a course on the relationship between Jay-Z and Kanye West.

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Simply titled “Kanye West and Jay-Z,” the English 2169 course syllabus will “explore the duo’s intertwined careers from three perspectives: (1) Where do they fit within, and how do they change, the history of hip-hop music?; (2) How is what they do similar to and different from what poets do?, and (3) How does their rise to both celebrity and corporate power alter what we understand as the American dream?"

The point being, students are studying two

people who aren’t dead yet – two people who have made a dent large enough in society to warrant their own course. Good thing? Bad thing? To some, it’s a breath of fresh air – their uncontestable hip-hop knowledge is finally paying off in the form of a higher GPA and three tangible credits.

The instructor, Andrew Hoberek, has weighed in on the course’s academic aim in a recent interview with Forbes magazine. “I have four main things I want to teach students; one, the history of English poetic form and how it does and does not apply to rap; two, the emergence of rap as a major new art form; three, how to perform research into popular culture; and four, how to become more knowledgeable listeners [of ] rap music.”

Paraphrased, the music of Kanye and Jay-Z is used to help understand the history of English poetry. A record like Yeezus, for example, is deemed to be pushing the boundaries of art and music today. Its lyrics can even be identified as modern poetry, depending on how you view their influence and relevance.

“I am a god/Hurry up with my damn massage/ Hurry up with my damn ménage/Get the Porsche out the damn garage/I am a god/Even though I'm a man of god/My whole life in the hands of god/ So y'all better quit playing with god.”

A student in this course is now sitting back, discussing, and quantifying this material.

“Rap lyrics are something that can go either way. They’re subjective, more so than any other type of medium. In that case, I view the course as a bit of an easy A - you’re studying rap after all. I feel like if you only make yourself sound intelligent, your GPA will go up,” comments Kevin Parker, jazz studies student at CapU. Although no such course has been offered at CapU, the university has had its share of GPA boosters – there was once an infamous Basket Weaving course where, legend has it, your dignity was tarnished if you didn’t walk with an A or better.

“Sure, you could see the course as nothing but

a softball, but this is just rap’s next step in the genre. Obviously I wasn’t around when rock was getting big - but now that rock is dead, rap seems to be filling the void, especially with musicians like Kanye and Jay-Z. If movies and books and all other types of art can be studied, why not rap?” says Julian McKay, a BBA student at CapU. There have been countless courses offered on mainstay pop music in the past - along with rock and metal - such as The Beatles degree offered at Liverpool University, or the degree in Heavy Metal found at Nottingham Trent. As McKay claims, by these standards alone, rap should not be immune to academia.

“I think you reach a fork in the road when you realize Kanye and Jay-Z didn’t invent the genre.

Since the course is about the history of hip-hop, why not start with the original musicians who invented it?” McKay adds.

“Kanye and Jay-Z are extremely, extremely successful. So successful that people will pay money to study them, and that’s it. University is a business,” McKay explains.

Aside from the merits of a GPA-booster, aside from the dispute on whether Watch The Throne belongs in critical study, at the end of the day, students decide what type of course will better them in the long run. If hip-hop academia is important to students or it is a part of their required courses then, by all means, students will study it. As long as the genre remains in its cultural mainstay and tuition fees exist, more of these courses will undoubtedly appear in the future. If not the same work, money and spirit will find students the same GPA and credits elsewhere.

Personal Credits Notice

If you received a Common Experience Payment, you could get $3,000 in Personal Credits for educational programs and services.

The Indian Residential Schools Settlement Agreement.

The healing continues.

Since 2007, almost 80,000 former students have received a Common Experience Payment (“CEP�) as part of the Indian Residential Schools Settlement Agreement. CEP recipients are now eligible to receive non-cash Personal Credits of up to $3,000, for either themselves or certain family members, for educational programs and services.

How can I get Personal Credits? Each CEP recipient will be mailed an Acknowledgement Form. If you do not receive an Acknowledgement Form by the end of January 2014, please call 1-866-343-1858. Completed Acknowledgement Forms should be returned as soon as possible and must be postmarked no later than October 31, 2014.

s WWW RESIDENTIALSCHOOLSETTLEMENT CA

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THE CAPILANO COURIER

How do I redeem my Personal Credits? Once approved, you will be sent a personalized Redemption Form for each individual using Personal Credits How much are Personal Credits? at each educational entity or group.

CEP recipients have the option of Adequate funds are available for each Once the Form is received, provide sharing their Personal Credits with CEP recipient to receive up to $3,000 it to the educational entity or group certain family members, such as: in Personal Credits, depending on listed. The educational entity or group š Children š Spouses your approved educational expenses. must then complete and mail back š Grandchildren š Siblings Which educational entities and the Redemption Form postmarked no groups are included? A list of later than December 1, 2014. approved educational entities and groups has been jointly developed by Canada, the Assembly of First Nations What happens to unused Personal Credits? The value and Inuit representatives. If an educational entity or of unused Personal Credits will be transferred to the group is not on the list, please consult the website for National Indian Brotherhood Trust Fund and Inuvialuit Education Foundation for educational programs. more information.

Will I receive a cheque? No. Cheques will be issued For more information, including how Personal Credits can directly to the educational entity or group providing be redeemed by certain family members of CEP recipients that are deceased, visit www.residentialschoolsettlement.ca the service. or call 1-866-343-1858.

Who can use Personal Credits? CEP recipients can use the full amount themselves or give part or all of The IRS Crisis Line (1-866-925-4419) provides immediate their Personal Credits to certain family members such and culturally appropriate counselling support to former as a spouse, child, grandchild or sibling, as defined in students who are experiencing distress.

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What are Personal Credits? Personal Credits may be used for a wide range of educational programs and services, including those provided by universities, colleges, trade or training schools, Indigenous Institutions of Higher Learning, or which relate to literacy or trades, as well as programs and services related to Aboriginal identities, histories, cultures or languages.

the terms and conditions. Personal Credits of multiple CEP recipients can be combined to support a group learning activity.

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arts + Culture

ANDY RICE ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR

ARTS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

cap grad lets freak flag fly ALIGN ENTERTAINMENT PUTS UP PRODUCTION OF SHREK Paisley Conrad × Writer For their first show, new theatre company Align Entertainment is mounting the unusual and interesting production of Shrek the Musical. The show, based closely on the popular animated movie Shrek, was written by Jeanine Tesori and David LindsayAbaire. It was first put up in Seattle in 2008 and has since seen both the West End and Broadway stages.

Directed by local theatre veteran Chad Matchette and backed by G&F Financial, this show is no small undertaking for the fledgling company. However, the cast and crew are up for the challenge.

The production itself has been alive for a year, beginning with the foundation of Align Entertainment. The team of owners is comprised of Matchette, Patti Volk, Melissa Assalone and Brent Hughes, all of whom have worked together in many capacities in the Vancouver theatre scene. Each member brings vast amounts of experience and insight to the table. In addition to the core team, there are close to 100 designers, technicians and other production specialists working on the project. “Working with a new company is amazing. It's a fresh start, and it's really cool to be a part of something new,” says Ranae Miller, who plays the red-headed Princess Fiona. “The Arts Club, Theatre Under The Stars, they've been around for so long, that it’s nice to be a part of something so brand new.”

Auditions for the show were held at the begin-

ning of the summer. “We had over 200 people come and audition for the show, it was an excellent feeling. We had so many excellent people come out and we really had our pick,” says Matchette. A large factor in the success of the turnout was the affection that local performers feel towards the Align team. “I definitely wanted to work with Align. I've worked with some of the founders before on other projects, and they're all these incredibly passionate people,” remarks Miller. “The cast is like a family. Everyone is here to put on a wonderful and beautiful show, and they're all so caring and thoughtful and fun. Coming to rehearsal is like hanging out with friends, and we're all here to put on a great show.”

In addition to the mainly adult cast, about half of the performers are quite young. “We made the artistic decision to include a children's choir in our show, which has added a lot of enthusiasm,” says Matchette.

The rehearsal process started back in November and went smoothly by all accounts. “We have such a solid cast, so everything fell together pretty fast-paced,” he adds. However, blocking the show – the process of planning when, where, and exactly how the actors will move on stage – was no easy task. The set is extensive and the costumes and prosthetic make-up unusual, as many of the cast members are playing anthropomorphic animals and fantasy creatures. In addition to that, there are many large ensemble numbers and the choreography includes classic musical theatre dancing as well as some tap dancing.

Opening night took place on Feb. 7 at the Michael J. Fox Theatre in Burnaby, where the produc-

tion will remain until Feb. 22.

For Miller, who is a longtime fan of the Shrek film series, the chance to play one of its main characters is like reliving a piece of her childhood. “My family is big on watching movies, and we watched all four together as a family. The first movie came out over 10 years ago, so I've grown up with Shrek.

It's a dream come true to play a childhood hero like Fiona. She's that classic princess who is waiting for her prince to come rescue her, but she is also different from that stereotype in a lot of ways.

She's quirky and stubborn and independent, and – despite what the storybooks say – really takes care of herself. Playing her is a real treat.”

A 2011 graduate of Capilano University’s Musical Theatre program (MUTH), Miller says she is grateful for all that the program offered her.

“Capilano helped me out so much. The program is excellent. It's unique, there's nothing else like it on the coast. Definitely everything I'm doing in the show I'm pulling from what I learned up at Cap.” In addition to Miller, the integral role of

Donkey is played by another Capilano MUTH grad, Caleb Di Pompino. Beyond the main cast, Ben Biladeau, Erika Babins and Michelle Bardac also attended the program.

The musical follows the animated film closely, but colours in back stories for Shrek, Fiona and Lord Farquaad. “There's a lot more depth to the musical,” says Matchette. “The thing that drew me to it was the fact that the show really has heart.

It's all about being yourself, and everyone is special. What makes us all different is what makes us strong.” He sums up his vision for the show when he says, “When people leave the theatre, I want them to feel good about what they just saw, and themselves.”

For more information on Shrek the Musical or Align Entertainment, visit Alignentertainment.ca.

Advance tickets are $44.25 for adults and $31.25 for students and are available through Ticketmaster or at the door prior to each performance.

talking stick festival CELEBRATING FOR TODAY AND THE FUTURE Carlo Javier

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× Staff Writer

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Through the many facets of the arts, Full Circle First Nations Performances’ Talking Stick Festival exhibits and celebrates aboriginal culture. Between Feb. 18 and March 2, the 2014 Talking Stick Festival will feature performances from local and international artists of various disciplines. From theatre to dance to spoken word, the festival aims to “honour the traditional aboriginal culture and heritage and showcase the new evolving contemporary work of today’s artists.”

What began as a small showcase 13 years ago has since grown into a much larger celebration. “It was started as a cabaret in 2001,” begins Margo Kane, artistic managing director. “It was a two-day cabaret and it has expanded to two weeks over time.”

“It was a need in the community to have stages, have a place for the artist to present their performance work and visual work because there was none and there were no places for them to showcase their work – so we decided to make that happen,” Kane adds.

With its name derived from an aboriginal symbol and instrument of democratic power, Talking Stick provides a platform not only to aboriginal artists, but also aboriginal students. The festival presents programs that can inspire and teach students about the richness and depth of the First Nations’ culture. It also provides “accessible and affordable cultural experiences to the marginalized and economically disadvantaged population, as well as the mainstream general public,” according to the Full Circle website.

Showcasing developmental projects is a con-

stant theme at the annual festival. This year, Talking Stick has partnered with Urban Native Youth Association with the plans of having an interactive program that will allow the youth a platform to show their work. “We’re giving them a stage, so they’re going to have a couple of performance nights at the Cultch Lab,” begins Kane. “They’re going to have the opportunity to take their work into a theatre, and that’s developmental.”

Furthermore, Talking Stick creates a network among aboriginal and non-aboriginal people, promoting togetherness and creating a melting pot of a diverse group of cultures.

This year’s festival will feature a wide variety of performances – 50 in total. One of the most anticipated shows is Michel Tremblay’s For the Pleasure of Seeing Her Again, an homage to an inspiring mother, with Kevin Loring playing the narrator and Kane herself as the feisty Nana.

Also performing will be Juno Award winner

Crystal Shawanda, whose single “You Can Let Go” became the fastest rising single in the Broadcast Data Systems (BDS) history of Canada.

The festival will also feature an exuberant share of dancers, with works from dance companies from across North America as well as local troupes such as the Dancers of Damelahamid and Raven Spirit Dance. “There’s a number of plays, there’s a whole dance series, we have the traditional contemporary dance showcases and conversations,” says Kane.

“We have a number of visiting choreographers from Ontario and from the States, and there’s always a large dance community in the aboriginal society and that’s very exciting.”

Talking Stick is also partnering with writing programs from Simon Fraser University to hold indigenous writing events. Other guests include storytellers coming from Hawaii and Alaska, as well as Canadian electronic music group A Tribe Called Red – a group that combines drumming,

dubstep-influenced dance music and traditional pow-wow vocals.

Not only does the Talking Stick Festival exhibit artistic performances and presentations from a multitude of disciplines, but it also creates a local support network built around collaboration, togetherness and learning. “It’s inspiring because we take the artists into the school as well,” explains Kane. “I think it’s a highlight for our community.

They get to see works from a lot of different disciplines, from music to theatre to storytelling, spoken word, dance.”

The developmental aspect of the festival is further highlighted when students get the chance to meet the guest artists. “We’ve been working towards it for a few years now and we share the art with the school students,” she says. “That’s very important to us because they’re the generation coming along that needs to appreciate the arts and the performing arts. It gives them an opportunity to see shows.”

Organizers continue to do their best to keep the festival affordable each year, particularly for young people. Apart from the standard-cost shows, there will also be several “Pay What You Can” performances. “We always try to keep the festival affordable for our community so they can get exposed to these wonderful artists,” says Kane.

The 2014 Talking Stick Festival runs until March 2 at various venues across Metro Vancouver. Tickets range from $12 to $40 as well as selected “Pay What You Can” performances. Festival passes are also available. For more information, visit Fullcircle.ca.

arts + Culture

happy little clouds CELEBRATING BOB ROSS Faye Alexander × Opinions Editor

“So from all of us here, I would like to wish you happy painting...” – Bob Ross × Sydney Parent Bob Ross’s name has become synonymous with a lot of things: happy little clouds, pleasant mountain landscapes and tight perms. The American painter, art instructor and television host skyrocketed to fame due in large part to his PBS program, The Joy of Painting, which aired from 1983 until 1994. Ross’s process allowed just about any stay-at-home mom or daytime TV enthusiast to follow along with his slow-paced and cotton-soft vernacular.

On Feb. 22, tattooing and artist’s gallery The

FALL will be hosting the Bob Ross-a-thon, a multimedia exhibit featuring Ross-inspired art. From the people who brought you Bill You Murray Me?, Drop it Like it’s Art, and the Steven Segallery, this latest installment celebrates the frizzy-haired muse who inspired a nation to get up from their couches and discover their inner artists. With over 100 submissions to be displayed, art of all mediums will grace The FALL, which boasts 1,300 square feet of gallery space. The opening night will also include

performances by both DJ Timoney and Mark and Bobby.

“With past shows like Bill You Murray Me?, Zig-a-Zigallery and Drop it Like its Art, we always have an element of surprise and entertainment. We encourage artists to be creative with their ideas.

Our criteria has remained the same; anyone can submit art as long as it pertains to the subject,” explains Christina Chant, co-creator and curator of the event. “We've had submissions of sculpture, film, stained glass, knitting.... It's amazing what people come up with.”

Not to mention, for a good cause. All proceeds from the door, where entry is by donation, will be going directly to the Positive Women’s Network (PWN). PWN has been providing support to women who are HIV-positive all over British Columbia for over 20 years.

The shows are centered on promoting accessibility and inclusivity of art, so leave those artsnob pretensions at home. “Bob Ross had shared those principles of showing people who generally would have shied away from painting that they, too, could create. With his kind voice and happy little clouds, he made art seem accessible and fun, which is what our shows are all about,” explains Chant. Guests are encouraged to have fun and feel

like part of the event itself, and organizers promise a good time accompanied by some amusing artwork and affordable drinks. Plus, it may also be your last (if not only) chance to see a live perm.

Contributing artists also have the option of auctioning off their work and can expect 100 per cent of their sales. At 2012’s Bill You Murray Me? event, artwork ranged in price from $20 to $750, which means a great opportunity to purchase some authentic artwork on a student budget.

Art isn’t all about buzz-words like “oblique” and “obtuse.” The Bob Ross-a-thon removes the stuffy attitude that can intimidate young people from getting involved and proves that art can be lighthearted, funny and engaging – just another parallel to Ross’s mission in bringing fine art into the home.

In his own words, “In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains, you can bend rivers. But when I get home, the only thing I have power over is the garbage.”

Opening night for the Bob Ross-a-thon is Feb. 22 from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., and artists receive 100 per cent of sales on the opening night. The gallery will remain up until March 23.

breaking the fast MORNING MEAL IDEAS FOR BUSY STUDENTS Alva Tee × Writer

BREAKFAST Recommended smoothie blends:

+ Greek yogurt, milk, flax, berries, spinach. + Banana, cocoa powder, peanut butter, milk, Greek yogurt + Banana, spinach, orange, fish oil, avocado, protein powder, chia/hemp seeds

Snacks throughout the day: × Danielle Mainman

What to stay away from:

- Genetically Modified (GMO) foods - Corn, soy, canola products - Protein powders that include fructose or artificial sweeteners (aspartame, sucra lose, Splenda) - Too much of anything high in sugar

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matter what is picked. More than anything, it’s the act of working the meal into one’s daily routine that carries the most benefits.

“Those who have a healthy breakfast tend to eat healthy throughout the day as well whereas those who don’t eat breakfast, or eat a high-sugar breakfast, end up binging or chasing the sugar high all day long with unhealthy foods which ultimately impacts long term health,” explains Neuendorf.

“How you start off in the morning will have a big impact on the choices made throughout the day. Breakfast shapes the day.”

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a good fit. “Make sure you’re incorporating items that will keep you full – think fibre and protein,” she says. “Try adding some flax or psyllium husk for a fibre boost or some Greek yogurt, a protein powder or some nut butter to get that lasting fullness that protein provides.”

Regardless of the form it comes in, a combination of protein, healthy fats, fruit and fibre-rich foods is the best way to start the day. Eating breakfast is literally breaking the fast that takes place every night during our sleep.

“Ideally, you want to try to eat breakfast within one hour of waking up,” says Jang. “This will help you ‘break the fast’ of not eating all night and get your energy levels and body going for the day.”

“The size of the meal is different for everyone, depending on size, gender, activity level and genetics,” she continues. “A better indicator is to listen to your hunger and fullness cues and eat until you’re not hungry anymore but not stuffed to the point of discomfort.”

Numerous options exist for a breakfast that works best for each individual, and as long as healthy ingredients are included, it doesn’t much

portion cheeses, whole grain crackers, almonds, seeds, goji berries, dark chocolate bits

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a little planning and preparation, even scratch-made items can be surprisingly quick and easy to prepare.

“Make a batch of some healthy muffins or granola bars ahead of time to grab on your way out the door,” Jang suggests. “Individual yogurts, fruit or a nutritious shake can also be great options.”

A traditional hearty breakfast such as bacon and eggs isn’t as unhealthy as it may seem, as long as it is consumed in moderation. However, that particular feast will take a little bit more time to prepare.

For those with a faster-paced morning, something healthy to quickly grab-and-go is more fitting.

“Cook up a dozen hard boiled eggs on Sunday, and have them ready to go in the fridge for the week,” suggests Neuendorf. “Grab an egg and an apple, and you’re good to go.”

“Oatmeal is another great choice,” she continues. “It can also be cooked in advance and put into small containers. Add a scoop of Greek yogurt, a couple tablespoons of chia seeds or ground flax and some berries, and voila – [a] perfect to-go meal that will keep you sustained for hours.”

Jang shares that trying something different such as making a quick smoothie or shake could also be

+ Nuts, fruit, healthy granola bars, single

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In all the hustle and bustle of a busy student’s life, the most important meal of the day can often become the most rushed meal of the day. Late nights and early mornings bring further temptation to find whatever is most convenient and deem it “breakfast.” More often than not, however, this quick grab-and-go process involves the wrong kinds of foods, causing more fatigue that can lead to a drearier day ahead.

“Most students I have worked with notice an increase in concentration, less nodding off, more energy, reduced mood swings, less anxiety and more productivity through the day when they start including a healthy breakfast,” says Lynnel Neuendorf, a North Vancouver-based holistic nutritionist and founder of NutraPhoria. “Research supports this as well and goes even further indicating that students who eat a nutritious breakfast score better on tests.”

“Not all breakfast is created equal,” she continues. “The key is ‘healthy’ and avoiding simple carb or high-sugar breakfasts such as muffins, pancakes or waffles with syrup, sugar-filled boxed cereal and [other] foods such as these because an unhealthy breakfast has the opposite effect, and causes an inevitable sugar crash.”

Vancouver dietician Lindsay Jang shares her own thoughts on the best things to have in a breakfast meal. “Including some whole grains like oatmeal or a sprouted grain bread will provide you with some carbohydrates to give you energy to start the day and the fibre will keep you feeling full longer,” she says. “It is also a good idea to include some protein, such as egg or some Greek yogurt. Adding some fruit is always a good way to up the nutritional content of the meal and add some fibre.”

Eating the right types of foods for breakfast is essential for satisfying hunger and building a good energy level that will last throughout the day. With

with a side of bar

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THERESE GUIEB FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

tighten up HOW CANADA PREVENTS RESTRICTED FIREARMS FROM ENTERING THE COUNTRY Paisley Conrad × Writer

Despite the United States’ influential firearms scene, it still has not shaken Canada’s decision to keep packing heat illegally. Canada’s Firearms Act states that a firearm is any form of a gun used as a propellant, compressed air, explosive or gas. While Canada differs significantly from the United States in issues surrounding the ownership and usage of firearms, both have something in common: a divide between those who want their guns and those who want them locked away.

There are three classes of firearms: non-restricted, prohibited and restricted. Non-prohibited firearms in Canada include ordinary rifles and shotguns that are not listed as being restricted or prohibited. Prohibited firearms include certain handguns that discharge .25 or .32 calibre ammunition, altered rifles and shotguns, and both full and converted automatics. “Prohibited firearms are basically illegal firearms, unless you have a special license,” says David Falls, media representative for the RCMP. Restricted firearms include any handguns that are not prohibited, semi-automatic rifles and short-barrel shotguns. The criterion is very specific. Craig Jones of Wanstalls Online, a popular hunting supplies retailer, thinks that these lists are irrelevant. “Non-restricted guns don't really shoot differently than prohibited, which aren't very different from the restricted. Some of the guns fire the same cartridges in the same ways.

One just looks more sinister than the other.”

viding police with information when an incident involving a firearm occurs,” notes Falls. Licenses are valid for five years, and to renew a license one must reapply before their current license expires.

If their license expires without being renewed, they will be required to take the CFSC again. Those interested in using restricted and prohibited guns must take an additional course, the Canadian Restricted Firearms Safety Course (CRFSC).

Minor's licenses are also available for those between the ages of 12 and 18. They are typically obtained for youth who practise their target skills on their own, take part in registered shooting competitions, hunt or are being instructed in the correct use of firearms. This license approves the acquisition of ammunition and the firearms themselves. It does not allow for the holder to purchase or shoot restricted or prohibited firearms unsupervised. However, if a licensed adult is supervising, they have the allowance to use restricted and prohibited firearms.

Those under the age of 18 without a license can use firearms under the direct supervision of a licensed adult. “There are the more rural areas up north where kids get a junior PAL, but in urban areas there's no real point to it, because most shooting ranges don't require a license. All a PAL will get a city kid is the ability to pick up ammunition on the way home from school.” says Jones.

ANNIE, GET YOUR GUN

For the most part, gun control is maintained at a federal level. However, provinces have the right to introduce individual legislation. The right to own firearms is not recognized at a constitutional level, meaning that other legislation had to be instigated to cover this issue. The Criminal Code of Canada recognizes that using a firearm for self-defence is a legal action. The 1995 Firearms Act managed by the RCMP Firearms program focuses on licensing and registration. The act outlines the government's right to possess any and all firearms they suspect violates the law. It also emphasizes that those who are in possession of firearms must exercise care in regards to people and property.

In 2012, a long standing legislation known as the Long Gun Registry required the registration of any and all firearms (including non-restricted firearms). All registry records in every province and territory, excluding Quebec, were destroyed. This has made it significantly easier to purchase and transfer ownership of guns.

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Individuals must be of legal age to get a license which authorizes them to own and use restricted firearms in Canada. The license is called a Possession and Acquisition License (PAL), and to apply for one you must take the Canadian Firearms Safety Course (CFSC). This course is typically held for over two days, and costs around $200 to $250 to take. It teaches basic gun safety, asserts responsibility of the owner, safe storage and transportation, and firing techniques. After taking the course, one has to apply for the PAL, which requires a background check.

“The Canadian Firearms Program (CFP) offers a range of services that help to prevent firearms crimes in Canada, which includes licensing users and registering restricted firearms as well as pro-

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KEEPING THE PEACE

NationMaster.com states that in the United States, murders with firearms are 64 times more likely to happen than in Canada

The National Weapons Enforcement Support Team (NWEST) partnered with municipal and provincial police forces to halt the transportation of illegal firearms. This helps neutralize violent criminal use of firearms and is integral in shutting down organized crime and terrorism in Canada. The RCMP also assists through providing funding and equipment for local police services. The NWEST and the RCMP work together to directly support front-line policing, trace questionable firearms, assist with the acquisition of search warrants and train law enforcement agencies across the country.

GIVING UP THE GUN The more guns that are available, the more likely it is for deaths to occur. In countries where control over firearms is less strict and guns are readily available to the public, the likelihood of firearm-related injuries and crime spikes exponentially. Countries that strictly regulate firearm usage have lower firearm homicide rates, NationMaster.com states that in the United States, murders with firearms are 64 times more likely to happen than in Canada.

Guns are also used in instances of domestic violence, from being used as an intimidation technique, to causing injury and, in some cases, death. Coroner inquests often reveal that domestic homicide is caused by firearm usage. Public health experts also link the introduction of strong gun control laws with a marked decline in suicide rates in Canada.

There are over 1.5 million firearms license holders registered under the RCMP's Firearm Program.

The majority of those who are registered are compliant with the law, and excellent candidates for firearm ownership. However, over 22,000 licenses have been revoked since the year 1996. These refusals were in the interest of public safety.

Due to the recent string of mass shootings in

the United States, including the 2012 attack on a movie theatre in Colorado and the Sandy Hook tragedy - a shooting of 26 people, including 20 children at an elementary school in Connecticut, the regulations on gun magazine capacities have been tightened. The issue with high-capacity magazines is that they hold more ammunition.

Therefore, the shooter doesn't have to reload as frequently. Rifles with high-capacity magazines designed to hold more than five rounds are, in fact, prohibited in Canada.

“Basically anything with a short-barrel is extremely hard to find in the United States. In some states, they're illegal. In Canada, on the other hand, they're pretty much everywhere,” says Craig.

“Back in the early 1900s, somebody, at some point, in the government decided that one gun was inherently more evil looking than the other and made them illegal. The law just hasn't gone away yet. There is almost no difference between a long-barrel shotgun and a short-barrel, so this doesn't make sense at all.”

Things haven't always been this way however, according to Jones. “When my dad was a kid, he would bring his gun to school, leave it in the coatroom and go hunting on his way home from school,” he says. There has been a major shift indeed in the public mentality towards firearms as the weapons themselves.

In the words of Jones, “This stigma against guns stems back to the ‘70s and ‘80s. They started to be viewed as something only a criminal would use.

It was a socially progressive type of a movement.

We're experiencing the hangover of that now. It seems like the movement is heading the other way though, it's more about the individuals behind the trigger as opposed to the gun itself.” Social changes are slow but they are happening. It's apparent that Canadian citizens are holding onto their guns, and doing so responsibly.

art shorts

KRISTI ALEXANDRA ART SHORTS EDITOR

COPY@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

rodgers and hammerstein OUT OF A DREAM, YORK THEATRE, FEB. 6 Scott Moraes × Managing Editor

howlin' rain LIVE RAIN Kristi Alexandra × Copy Editor Unless you’re Neil Young and Crazy Horse, pulling off a live album that sounds as accessible as the studio recorded version is no easy feat. For Oakland quartet Howlin’ Rain, who released its debut album back in 2006, it came as a breeze when they picked out some live recordings of their 2012 world tour. Kicking off the nine-track live record is “Phantom in the Valley”, setting the mood with Thin Lizzy-esque bass lines, but singer Ethan Miller’s vocals go down as smooth as honeyed whiskey.

Mid-song, distorted guitars build a crescendo as fans cheer in the background, leading to a riffing guitar solo by lead guitarist Isaiah Mitchell.

Next up is an 11-minute version of Howlin’ Rain’s most recognizable tune, “Self Made Man”. The song is riff-heavy and its ‘70s-inspired jam outs recall southern rock legends Lynyrd Skynyrd, so much so that it’s hard to believe that the band is a group of 20-somethings in 2014. “Can’t Slow Me

Down” takes down the live album’s energy with slow-moving melodies and brightly tuned guitars.

Audience hoots and hollers are noticeably more audible through this ballad-style song while Miller deftly croons over his fan’s shouts. “Lord Have Mercy” is another down-tempo tune, and with slow, psychedelic notes being plucked out on the electric guitar, it’s hard not to see the similarity between Howlin’ Rain and their probable influences Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Near the end of the record, “Dancers At The End Of Time” picks back up the energy, while “Roll On The Rusted Days” closes out the album with more atmosphere building and background screams than had been heard yet. In all, with its nods to an era characterized by sweeping melodies, experimental jam-outs and, of course, groupies, Live Rain isn’t creating anything that hasn’t been done before. Instead, they’re the answer to, “What the hell happened to good old rock music?” Well, it’s back.

In the ‘40s and ‘50s, composer Richard Rodgers and librettist Oscar Hammerstein hit a streak of Broadway musical successes that would cement their reputation in American pop culture for decades to come – on stages and movie screens.

Most may not recognize their names today, but their music most often sounds devilishly familiar.

At the newly renovated York Theatre on Commercial Drive (officially part of the Cultch), Out of a Dream was a rare gateway for old-fashioned melodrama, a glimpse into a time when old-age clichés were not yet clichés – with sassy dames who are gay in the springtime and forward gents

with desperate pick-up lines, and occasionally, a bit of comic cynicism – the restrained 1940s variety. Running over two hours and not bound by a narrative or dialogue, the show was a bit of a stretch, but a pitch-perfect cast, great costumes and lighting, and good, full, jazzy music made for a worthy evening. Probably intentionally leaning towards lesser known shows such as Oklahoma, Carousel and South Pacific, rather than universallyacclaimed The Sound of Music or The King and I, the song selection also focused heavily on love ballads (hey, it's that time of the year after all). Out of a Dream is not so much a play but a live songbook on stage – and a really well executed one at that.

neneh cherry CHIAROSCURO Faye Alexander × Opinions Editor

× Writer

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For the last two decades, Swedish rapper, DJ and singer-songwriter Neneh Cherry has worn many hats. In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, she released a trio of albums, and riding on that success, embarked on a successful career full of collaborations.

Providing vocals on punk tracks, recording with the Gorillaz and heading a handful of bands have consumed Cherry's time. Eighteen years after her last solo album, Neneh Cherry is hopping back into the ring of daring solo projects with a record entitled Blank Project. A handful of tracks have been previewed from it and what is apparent from what has been released is that this album is likely to be a work of genius. It's incredibly confident and aggressively experimental.The title track, “Blank Project”, is a strange fusion of gritty synth lines, bare tambourine beats and artfully placed dissonant harmonies. The lyrics themselves paint

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I Break Horse’s have released their second fulllength record Chiaroscuro, an album packed with electronic pleasures for your eardrums to indulge in. Chiaroscuro is defined as the treatment of light and shade in artwork and the album aims to transcend moments of both lightness and the depth of darkness – although, the album never tends to stray too far from a neutral place. The Swedish duo doles out harrowing synthetic sounds accompanied by Maria Linden’s haunting airy vocals. As a follow up to their debut release Hearts, the duo returns with an engaging and cinematic effort that offers electric chills while creating beautiful landscapes with nothing but sound – but what else

would you expect from a Swedish synth-rock outfit? While other bands playing in the same arena may have had more hype this past year, such as CHVRCHES and Purity Ring, Chiaroscuro possesses songs that mesmerize and play to the listener’s imagination with inspiration beckoning from death, faith and a hint of unrequited love.

“Berceuse” is a glittering taste of melancholy, while “Weigh True Words” gets heavy on the snares and symbols with a jittery speedy pace. If you are hunting for some easily hypnotic listening to accompany your marijuana habit, look no further. From the opening track “You Burn” to the finishing note of “Heart to Know”, delight in the fantastical trip that I Break Horses had laid ahead of you. If synthrock isn’t your bag, you can always grab a Horse Feathers album.

Paisley Conrad

a picture of a passionate and argumentative relationship, Cherry playing the part of the indecisive vixen. Though “Blank Project” is musically interesting and engaging, it's Cherry's voice that commands the entire song and leaves you wanting more. The track “Everything” is Yoko Ono-esque, peppered with strange cries and electronic samples.

Dancing on the fine line between song and beat poetry, Cherry pushes out cliché lyrics coupled with cynical afterthoughts. While the song is playful and a tad coy, it shows maturity and sass that Cherry has earned. “Out of the Black” features Robyn, her high and gentle voice gently complementing Cherry's more dominating and soulful belt. Again, the instrumentation is counter-intuitive and experimental, but manages to hit a stride within itself. By far the most ethereal of the three, the pair insists that “we just want you to want it, too.” The album will be available internationally on Feb. 25 on iTunes.

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i break horses

BLANK PROJECT

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THERESE GUIEB FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

Spinning With Passion

× Faye Alexander

Figure skaters work competitively from childhood to adulthood Katherine Gillard × News Editor

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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Many people choose their careers in their 20s, but figure skaters decide when they are as young as four. Training starts at a young age and there can be anywhere between 15 to 25 hours per week of skating, dancing, conditioning and other forms of off-ice training. Figure skaters have to be toned and strong to ensure that they don’t hurt themselves when jumping but also carry themselves with the grace and lines of a dancer.

Figure skaters compete as early as seven years old.

They constantly reinvent themselves and work towards the next best thing. Although some children choose to stay in recreational skating rather than competitive skating, many students choose to pursue the competitive route and work hard to place in competitions while also being in school.

The sport is expensive, costing hundreds in lessons, costumes and training every year. However, any figure skater will argue that it is more than a sport, for it also gives them valuable life skills and a healthy lifestyle.

TRAINING Figure skaters start to train young as it takes years to gain the ideal physical fitness and technique.

“Although late starters aren’t unheard of, we’ve seen skaters be fairly successful. We had a Canadian, Leslie Hawker; she was a very late starter.

I think she started at 11 and ended up being a national medalist and I think she went to Worlds one year. It’s not unheard of, but more often than not, figure skaters start at a very young age,” says Tina Leininger, competitive skating director at Vancouver Skating Club.

Canada competes in Men’s, Women’s, dance, pairs, and team skating. At the Sochi Olympics,

most of the competitors are under 30. The youngest competitor representing Canada is Gabrielle Daleman, a 16-year-old skater from Toronto competing in the women’s division.

“We have a recreational program, it’s called the CanSkate program and that’s really the place where we draw our skaters for the competitive program.

Although we do draw people from other clubs, they’ll come and join the club because they know we’re a competitive environment and not every club is competitive,” adds Leininger.

However, many do want to compete, including Liam Firus who was trained at Vancouver Skating Club and represented Canada at the Sochi Olympics. The club starts children as young as four years old in a recreational program and then moves them into competitive levels at seven years old. Their program Jump Start is based on an audition process that children have to try out for. It’s the bridge between recreational and competitive figure skating.

When the children are admitted into the program they begin competing.

Training also involves dancing off the ice to achieve the lines and grace required in all types of figure skating.

“We do ballet, jazz, modern dance – it’s quite a varied program. A lot of skaters don’t enjoy ballet.

They find it, compared to figure skating, very static.

But it’s such a good way to develop line and posture and grace which is, if you look at someone like a Patrick Chan or Liam Firus, those two skaters have that sort of ‘it factor’ which comes from their dance training off-ice,” comments Leininger.

Another successful skater who had a different training is Karen Magnussen. She started competing at seven and kept competing into her 20s.

She won Worlds at the age of 20, bringing home a

bronze medal from the 1971 Worlds, silver in the 1972 and gold in the 1973 Worlds. She won the only medal for Canada at the Olympics in Sapporo, Japan – bringing home the silver medal. Placing second was a huge deal for Canada, and can be attributed to Magnussen’s hard work both on and off the ice.

“When you’re training to be in competition it’s grueling because it’s not just on-ice, it’s off-ice too.

I always did running and I did gymnastics, ballet, swimming – anything that would help improve my skating and make me stronger. Then we would try that out and see if it would work – they didn’t have all the equipment and machines like they have nowadays,” comments Magnussen.

“I would be out in my mom’s heavy ski boots in the backyard just for weight on my feet as I was jumping and I was doing stuff like that. It was just what you read about and you know, what you had read in sports journals that was helping other athletes,” she adds.

The sport requires a personal trainer, outside training through dance classes, conditioning lessons, paying for costumes and entry to competitions. With all of the money and training that goes into having a child in figure skating, there's a lot of pressure on a child to succeed.

“I think the pressure comes from within, I think people who are drawn to this sport are kind of special people. It’s an individual sport, they enjoy the challenge of being under pressure so the simple answer is, yes, there is a lot of pressure but the pressure comes from within. Of course the organization would like to have good results and that goes without saying in any sport, but I don’t believe that’s generally where the pressure comes from where the athlete’s concerned,” says Leininger.

MEASURING TALENT Training isn’t the only way that figure skating has changed over the years – the way that skaters are judged has changed and can be very confusing for anyone who doesn’t skate.

In the 2002 Winter Olympic Games, there was a scandal in the pair’s figure skating division. The competition appeared to be fixed – and ended with two couples receiving gold medals and a need to revamp the scoring system. The code of points system of judging is used and it is very strategic and was implemented in Worlds and Olympic judging beginning in 2004. This way of judging was designed by the International Skating Union to replace the old 6.0 system to ensure that the scoring system was objective avoided any fixed events.

“We as coaches, most of us preferred it that way because you had way more creativity in the programs, now you pretty much have to strategically plan where the spins and the jumps are going to go, which in turn makes all figure skaters like cookie-cutter programs. They’re limited now in the creative things that they can do, and that’s the sad part – to see that happen in figure skating,” notes Magnussen.

She adds, “Before you never knew from one skater to the next who was going to do what – a Russian skater would come out and do a triple, triple, triple and another one would come out and do a quad-triple, and you know it was like a competition of who could do the most but now they can’t do that because you’re only allowed a certain amount of jumps in a program and certain kinds of jumps, and you have to have a certain amount of spins in the free program. So now it’s sort of become a longshort program.”

“When I was skating, it was skating the free program was exactly what it said – it was a free program where you could come out and you could do your own thing. There were so many things that they could interpret whereas now, halfway through your program you’re going to have harder elements in it because you get more points than if later in the program you’re doing difficult elements. But if you do one extra element that you’re not supposed to, you get deducted which is a huge point deduction,” Magnussen says.

PHYSICAL STRUGGLES A drawback of figure skating is how an injury can result in forfeit from competing. Magnussen claims that kids are learning to jump younger and younger nowadays, which is dangerous because without the right muscle training, they can fall and have very serious back injuries as well as other hurt muscles, bones and stress fractures in feet.

Physical demands are hard on a skater whether they are training to compete or tour with an ice show. Damage to the body can be extreme if students are not trained properly – but even then, accidents can happen.

“The most common injuries are low back as well as foot and ankle injuries. The low back is injured due to the rotational forces as well as the compressive forces during jumps. The positions held during the moves in the field - footwork, etcetera – also can create excessive forces through the back,” comments Paige Larson, sports physiotherapist and double gold medalist in figure skating.

“Foot and ankle injuries result from the interface between the foot-ankle and the rigid boot and/or the ice. The forces going through the foot and ankle are considerable with jumps as well as general skating – these are very strong athletes and they exert incredible force through their bodies to do what they do on the ice,” Larson says.

A major cause for concern for skaters are stress fractures in the feet that occur because of the boots

worn by skaters as well as the way they land after a jump. These can be very painful and take around six to eight weeks to heal.

There are some injuries that cannot be fixed completely, but there are many that can be, and for those that cannot, physiotherapy can help skaters improve them to the point that they are not an everyday concern. However, for many injuries, it can take months to rehabilitate depending on the severity of the injury – which can be problematic when a skater is training to compete.

“If the injury occurs during the competitive season, I try to keep the athlete skating at their peak.

Once they get to a point in the season where they can ease off on their training, I use the time off to work towards a complete recovery from the injury… My goal is always to keep an athlete doing as much of their usual training as possible. The less that they have to decrease in training means less that I have to help them recover from,” says Larson.

Magnussen says that in university, a study showed she had more muscles than the SFU football team – all because of her training in figure skating.

CAREERS Skaters tend to stay close to what they started doing as children – skating in competitions, shows or working with other skaters. One of the best parts of being a skater could be that they get to travel with different ice shows.

“In the ice show it was much more performance, we did jump, I skated with Rob Cousins in the show and we did a number together and was a British champion and he was doing double axels and triples in his show programs but for the most part, the skaters weren’t skating at that level,” says Leininger, who travelled with Holiday on Ice. “We did train everyday, we had a trainer who came in and trained us, he travelled amongst all the different shows. He would come and spend a couple months with our show and then a couple months with another show. That was Don McPherson, an-

other Canadian world champion and gold medalist.

So we had some really good training and some really good skaters and when I left the show, Danielle Fieldman took my spot, another world-level skater.

We trained every day, we practiced every day, as well as performing every day,” she continues.

Nowadays, skaters are working on cruise ships travelling around the world and doing shows in the evenings “A lot of our skaters are going on to cruise ships, they’ll take a six-month contract and try it out and

"She had more muscles than the SFU football team - all because of her training in figure skating" see how they like it and travel and see the world just like I did with Holiday on Ice. Some of them will go into teaching, they’ll become coaches and others want to still be a part of sports so they’ll go into physiotherapy or sport psychology. Once an athlete and once involved with sport, always an athlete,” Leininger says.

The training for ice shows is much different from competitions, though – with ice shows, a skater must train all day and perform every night. There is no real down time and it can be just as much pressure as national-level competing.

Magnussen signed a contract with Ice Capades when she stopped competing and travelled around North America with them for four years. She says the hardest part was how hard it is to live out of a suitcase, eat properly and move out of cities every

four days. She says the only glamour was the two hours of her performances. However, she still says it was an amazing opportunity.

“I absolutely loved it; it was a wonderful experience to see all of the areas in Canada and the U.S.A. … Ice Capades had three companies on the road; we even did a show in Japan. It was a lot of travelling for four years. In my case, because I had become a world champion, any time one of the three companies of Ice Capades was in Canada, they flew me to that Canadian city because they made so much money off me being in a Canadian city because it was just such a big deal for a Canadian to have won [the Olympics],” Magnussen notes.

Magnussen unfortunately was hit by an ammonia leak at the North Shore Winter Club on the morning of Nov. 28, 2011. This event has made skating impossible as well as day-to-day life a struggle – having problems with her lungs and bones while also seeing doctors. She is virtually housebound and extremely sad about not being able to coach again. The leak started earlier in the morning but Magnussen was not notified.

“It’s pretty much devastated my life. It’s taken everything away from me – my livelihood, teaching what I love doing, my career. They are taking no responsibility for any of it – you’d think there’d be some kind of contact but there’s been nothing,” she says.

“I truly believe that all the training, the work that I did, all of those years and the discipline and being responsible and being able to attack almost anything in my life was really not to prepare to be a world champion but to prepare me for this,” she adds.

Overall, figure skating is a physically and mentally demanding sport. Figure skating produces not only exceptional athletes but extremely passionate individuals as well.

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" I think people who are drawn to this sport are kind of special people."

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Faye Alexander Faye is one of the Courier's precious little writers.

She has hidden artistry within that we are glad has seeped out onto this week's issue. Punk music, making out, and makeup are three of her top faves. She's the hottest college drop out we know! Hey Faye, let's make out!

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Mexican Mondays Comox Street Bar All Day $5

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VanCity Theatre 8:30 pm $11

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Vancouver Aquarium 10 am to 5 pm $25

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Grease

Pee Wee's Big Adventure

Talking Stick Festival

Toonie Waffles

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The Rio Theatre 6:30 pm $8

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Roundhouse Arts Centre 7 pm $25

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Scandilicious All Day $2

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Get transported back to John Travolta’s breakthrough performance in this replication of the 1978 Hollywood musical, featuring tight flood jeans and slicked-back hair that is once again ohso-hot. Check out who does a stellar job of playing favourite bad girl, Rizzo, and sweetheart gone badass, Sandra Dee.

As part of Northwest Comedy Fest, the Rio Theatre is screening Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, where this slapstick comedy follows Pee Wee as he tries to find his stolen bike. Rife with romantic misunderstandings and psychic encounters, this screening comes just before Pee Wee Herman himself hosts “The Best of the Fest” on Feb. 20.

Western Canada’s premiere Aboriginal Arts festival, the Talking Stick Festival hosts its opening gala evening at the Roundhouse Theatre. Traditional and contemporary First Nations art, music and dance will be celebrated. Listen to the music of Kawandak (Metis, Que) with special guest, Innu artist Kathia Rock, share stories, and mingle.

All day enjoy the comfort of knowing you can have a housemade waffle with butter and syrup for just a toonie. With prices like this, you’ll be able to afford all those hefty textbooks your sociology prof insists you need all semester when you both know you’ll only be opening the book twice. Waffles, $2; realizing your education costs more than it’s worth, priceless.

Chutzpah! Festival

Writing Romance

Say Wha?!

Incite

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Vancouver Public Library 7 pm $ - free

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Cottage Bistro 8 pm to 10 pm $5

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Vancouver Public Library 7:30 pm $ - free

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This performing arts festival, which takes its name from the Hebrew word meaning “impertinence”, kicks off its four-week run of music, dance and theatre performances. $82 will score you entry to four different shows over the duration of the fest, which boasts 16 different presentations.

Have you ever stood in front of a Nicholas Sparks display at your local book store and wondered “How does he do it?” Well, if you have any respect for real literature, probably not. If you want some real tips on how to write romance novels, though, five local romance writers are giving a free talk on how to pitch, develop and sell your romance novel.

Hosted by Vancouver media socialite Sara Bynoe, a monthly comedy show in which funny people read from the worst books ever published. Hear local comedians do for the Twilight series what Pat Boone does for “musicians” like Limp Bizkit.

VPL hosts another free seminar featuring local writers in an evening of new fiction and nonfiction features Catherine Bush (Accusation), Adrianne Haroun (A Man Came Out of a Door in the Mountain), and Andrew Steinmetz (This Great Escape).

CLUE the Musical

Cheap Mussels

Bobby Lee

Wizard of Bras

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The August Jack All Day $5

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Yuk Yuks 8 pm $25

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The Rio Theatre 7 pm $25

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Was it Professor Plum with the candlestick in the library? Was it Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the pipe? Did you ever fully get through this game as a child? Ghost Light Projects presents Randie Parliament's version of the play about the popular board game, which comes to life with 216 possible endings.

Looking for affordable seafood that you can be quite sure doesn’t contain dolphin meat? Get out of Safeway’s canned tuna aisle and hop over to The August Jack in Kitsilano. They’re selling $5 bowls of ocean wise steamed mussels in three different broths all day long.

San Diego actor and comedian known for his roles on Mad TV, Chelsea Lately, and The Daily Habit performs at Yuk Yuks as part of the NorthWest Comedy Fest. Saturday Night Live aficionados like our current EIC Leah Scheitel, may or may not be boycotting this performance outside the club.

The Geekenders are back at it again with their burlesque tribute to the Wizard of Oz. This reimagining of the classic story of a young girl who is transported to a surreal landscape stars Patrice Bowler, Nathan Fillyouin, Vicky Valkyrie, and more. We’re just wondering who’s going to be playing the part of that sexy Lion.

The Pack A.D.

Patton Oswalt

Nothing But Sky

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Vogue Theatre 7 pm $39.50

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Scotiabank Theatre 8 pm $25

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Pacific National Exhibition 7 pm $55

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Vancouver garage-rock duo and Derby favourites composed of guitarist-vocalist Becky Black and drummer Maya Miller, with guests the Courtneys and Dead Soft, play the DTES’s Rickshaw Theatre. Let’s hope that crack pipe vending machine isn’t set up outside the doors just yet.

American actor and comedian known for his TV specials and stints on The King of Queens, The Sarah Silverman Program, and Caprica performs at the Vogue Theatre as part of the NorthWest Comedy Fest. Tragically, his performance as Neil in The United States of Tara was greatly underrated.

Remember that commercial about Lois and Clark from CBC that boasted the creators of Superman were Canadian. Well, it’s all true. The Only Animal presents a live drawing, which tells the story of Joe Shuster, the Canadian who first drew Superman.

Speaking from personal experience, going to Disneyland as an adult is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself, but if you can’t gather up the funds to drive south to California and choke up the extortionate amount of cash it takes to get through the gates, Mickey’s Rockin’ Road Show is a moderately priced alternative to reliving your youth.

Barrels and Bottles

Curious Flea Market

Ladies Learn to Code

Ruploops: A Musical Orbit

The Blackbird 11 am to 4 pm $65

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New Westminster Quay 10 am to 4 pm $ - free

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Vancouver HootSuite Offices 10 am to 5 pm $50

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ArtStarts Gallery 11 am to 2 pm $ - free

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This is an inaugural joint fundraiser for B.C.’s craft brewers and distillers guilds. The Donnelly Group hosts at its own Blackbird Public House & Oyster Bar to help raise funds for both of B.C.’s craft guilds and offers sample products from 20 different B.C. breweries and nine different B.C. distilleries.

Everything from mid-century modern to ‘60s kitsch to atomic funk to steampunk to upcycled treasures and everything in between is featured at New Westminster’s curious flea market. The vendors are artists who create and curate magical items. Curious yet?

This ladies only workshop is for beginners who want to learn how to use HTML and CSS code to build a website and better help in keeping up a blog. Bring your own laptop, power cord and be prepared to download some free software. Just a nod in the right direction for any media hopeful hens.

Enjoy this interactive, live looping show, using vocal percussion, rhythmic rhymes and an arsenal of eclectic instruments. Rup utilizes his diverse skills as a musician to create a pulsating, entertaining and engaging musical experience. Young and old will explore vocal percussion and the art of live looping to co-create original music.

Craft City

Baker's Market

Ani DiFranco

Sunday Skate

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The Vancouver Aquarium was under fire this year for its yuppiest of all yuppie moments when the company offered yoga classes amidst captive beluga whales for their WASP-y customers. This time, the very humane organization is putting on “Up Close”, a journey “to gain a deeper understanding and appreciation” of their aquatic animals.

The Rickshaw Theatre 8 pm $17.50 F

Granville Island All Day $ - free admission, expensive beer

Up Close

VIFF and VanCity Theatre present nominees from Best Short Film in the Live Action and Animation categories. Nominees include Get a Horse, a six-minute short about Mickey Mouse and his friends enjoying a wagon ride until PegLeg Pete shows up with plans to ruin their day, and Feral, a 12-minute flick about a wild boy who has grown up in the woods is found by a hunter and returned to civilization.

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Oscar Shorts 2014

Capilanocourier.com

If it happens that you’re not boycotting the Olympics because of Sochi’s dubious dealings with Orca whales or Russia’s stance on homosexuality, unglue your eyes from your own TV set and watch a live broadcast of the Sochi Olympics at Edible Canada House on Granville Island, featuring classic Canadian fare from Savoury Chef and brews from Granville Island Brewing.

Norman Rothstein Theatre 8 pm $82 for a four-show pass

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@capcourier

Ask any Courier staff member and they’ll tell you I’m a sucker for alliteration – almost annoyingly so – which is why Mexican Mondays at the Comox Street Bar seems so appealing to me. You can snag $5 quesadillas, margaritas and Coronas all day every Monday. It beats that $9 burrito at Taco Del Mar, right?

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@capilanocourier

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Vancouver Heritage Hall 11 am to 5 pm $ - free Su

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Craft City is a collective of all the hidden gems Vancouver holds but are so darn hard to get your hands on. Craft city is a potluck of diverse products carefully hand-picked and quality proofed – clothing, visual art, jewelry, furniture, bath and beauty products, food and more.

Moberly Arts and Cultural Centre 11 am to 3 pm $ - free

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Heralded as the “sweetest event in Vancouver,” the Baker's Market is a free and fun event – it's where passionate bakers sell their baked goodies to the local community. Free samples, free parking, free admission… free gluten gut?

Chan Centre for Performing Arts 8:30 pm $57

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Indie folk-rock singer-songwriter and activist from the States comes to perform at the Chan Centre for performing arts. To prepare for this concert, I suggest you take on a completely raw vegan diet and stop shaving your pits, at least for a week. Maybe consider buying some Blundstone boots. You’re all set.

Robson Square Ice Rink 9 am to 9 pm $ - free skating, $2 rentals

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If it’s just too cold for that North Shore hike, where animal tracks are frozen in the what-oncewas mud, it might just be the perfect temperature for an outdoor skate. Brought to you by our Olympic hosting city from 2012, this rink boasts free skating and super cheap skate rentals.

opinions

FAYE ALEXANDER OPINIONS EDITOR

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

the olympic divide LOVE TO HATE OR HATE TO LOVE Gabriel Scorgie

CON

Jeremy Hanlon

PRO

× Vivian Liu

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To insult the Olympics without full understanding is not only obtuse, but it is also insulting to the athletes who have worked tremendously hard to become the very best at their chosen discipline, and discounts the incredible effort and tenacity of these individuals. The Olympics are an excellent event which bring together people of all cultures and provide countries with an overwhelming sense of national pride. If anyone was present at the 2010 Olympics, they would know this to be true.

It’s interesting to see the strong backlash against the Olympic Games when there is nowhere near as much criticism of events such as the Academy Awards, Grammys, or Tonys. There’s the common complaint with these that they are simply a popularity contest, but this is not the case with the Olympics. All of the athletes taking part are the greatest in the world at what they do, and it is unreasonable, at the very least, to take that away from them. We live in a world that glorifies artists who are promoted and brought success by lawyers, often by very little merit of their own, and yet we decide to lambaste the event for which devoted and tenacious examples of human potential have striven their entire lives, and rob them of the acclaim their accomplishment rightly deserves, and that is simply wrong.

It’s interesting that people often want to lump the Olympics into the viewed hypocrisy of “equality, fairness and respect for all,” assuming that the Olympics are somehow to blame for the shitty people who are writing bills against homosexuality and imprisoning people for not having a place to sleep.

Shitty people are shitty, but ultimately it’s a good thing that the Olympics are happening in Sochi right now, specifically because if they weren’t, there wouldn’t be near as much talk about Russia’s policies as there is right now. Does anyone talk about Ethiopia’s treatments on homosexuality, or Saudi Arabia’s? On a day to day basis, it doesn’t come up even though those countries’ treatments of homosexual people are considerably more severe. However, Russia, a country known for its secrecy and for shying from the public eye, is currently under the scrutiny of the entire world, specifically because it is hosting the largest international event in the world.

By the way, to talk about the Olympics causing financial ruin to the countries hosting them is not only disingenuous, but also a little naïve, considering that only countries deemed economically stable enough to make the necessary infrastructure improvements for the massive temporary influx of people the Olympics bring are considered to host, hence North Korea never hosting the Olympics while Canada has done it three times now. And though the positive effects aren’t necessarily seen immediately by laymen, having things like improved transit and greater international exposure are incredibly beneficial to any country wishing to prosper. It increases tourism and makes living in a more sustainable way easier and more affordable, as cars aren’t needed to go to relatively near areas which would otherwise be unreachable.

But hey, it’s easy to make fun of curling or the biathlon when you have no idea about their historical significance, right?

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The Olympics: where you can wake up early to watch obscure athletes compete in even more obscure events. Sorry, but people aren’t getting out of bed at 6 a.m. to watch cross-country skiing. If the Olympics want to be taken seriously then the IOC shouldn’t fuck and chuck the host nation every two years, leaving them broke and feeling used, promising to call, but throwing away their number once they leave – and get rid of stupid events like the biathlon.

Combining skiing and shooting, the biathlon is nothing more than a thinly-veiled attempt to turn a James Bond movie into a sport. Perhaps if they combined it with a more interesting event like downhill skiing – and had any ties being settled by whoever has the best Sean Connery impression – they could get a few people to give a damn. But at least it’s not as bad as curling which, let’s be honest, is just bowling on ice. It’s the only winter event where a balding, obese, middle-aged man can go toe-to-toe with an opponent half his age and win.

For unknown reasons, Canada has embraced curling probably because we’re good at it. If hockey, bowling and apologizing has proven anything, it’s that we’ll embrace anything we’re good at.

Maybe you have a curling rock as a pillow and the thought of a big biathlon race the next day keeps you up like a kid on Christmas Eve. If that does describe you, there are still the social and financial issues surrounding the Olympics. Founded on the principles of “equality, fairness and respect for all,” today’s Olympics boast the type of cheesy corporate slogan that can't help but bring a stupid smile to viewer's faces worldwide. However, between the gay rights struggle in Russia and the shoo-ing away and occasional imprisonment of homeless people in the downtown core in Vancouver, it appears the word “all” has a more subjective meaning than you may have assumed. The Olympics have devolved into a biennial, multi-billion dollar, dick waving contest between host countries.

A contest which creates a debt – because the IOC greedily takes all the profits – that many countries and cities can’t afford to take on and are still trying to pay off from Olympics they hosted over three decades ago.

So there it is: discrimination, debt, and showboating all smuggled across the border under the guise of a sporting event. Whether it’s the entertainment, ethics or financials, there is something to hate about the Olympics for people from all walks of life.

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× Caboose Editor

THE CAPILANO COURIER

× Writer

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opinions

busted budget CONSERVATIVES RELEASED FEDERAL BUDGET Kevin Kapenda × Writer In 2013, the Conservatives announced that the federal budget would be balanced by 2015, the same year as the election. Since then, all eyes have been on Finance Minister Jim Flaherty to deliver on said promise. Whether or not the 2015 budget will yield a surplus or break even remains to be seen, but budgets tabled in the previous fiscal year often indicate whether or not balancing a budget the following year will be possible or not.

In late January, Flaherty announced that he would be tabling the federal budget on Tuesday, Feb. 11, during the 2014 Winter Olympics. Opposition leaders and political media blasted the decision, accusing the government of trying to table the year’s most important bill at a time when most coverage and attention will be paid to the Olympics. Federal NDP and official opposition leader Thomas Mulcair described the move as “cynical”, protesting that, “The Conservatives are purposely reading the budget during the Olympics when most people’s attention will be elsewhere.” The response to the chosen date was received a little less angrily by the Liberals, and for good reason.

In February 1994, Paul Martin, former prime minister and finance minister at the time, tabled his first ever budget during the 1994 Lillehammer Winter Olympics in Norway. With that said, the preceding did not stop Liberal finance critic Ralph Goodale from calling the move “a triumph of politics over economic reality,” perhaps implying that the Conservatives are using their political advantages in announcing the budget during the games to minimize public debate on whether or not the government’s monetary policy is steering Canada in the right direction.

What is clear to many observers and opposition members is that this budget will be austerity driven, full of spending cuts and lower government investment in areas such as job training to balance the following year’s budget. Therefore, it would seem that the government is not so interested in concealing the budget itself, as it is being tyrannised for its lame duck budgetary policies. “The Conservatives are going to have a do-nothing budget here,” explains Mulcair, referring to the budget’s probable avoidance of economic investment and stimulus. Shortly after the announcement, a spokesperson for the Employment Minister Jason Kenney conceded that the budget would not be putting any more money into the government’s skills training program. That does not come as a surprise to opposition leader Mulcair, who knew that the government would scale back on job training in favour of a balanced budget the following year. Contrarily, Flaherty argues that these measures will ensure the overall economy grows, the private sector adds jobs and taxes stay low – news that is always well received by Conservative supporters.

Strategically, announcing the budget during the Sochi Games would make sense for a government that can’t seem to stay out of the news lately, usually for all the wrong reasons. Over the last year or so, mishaps such as the ongoing senate expenses scandal have plagued the credibility of the prime minister, the government and its reputation of being spendthrift fiscal conservatives. In lieu of that, tabling the budget while most Canadian media will be covering the Olympics would leave opposition leaders with minimal airtime, coverage they usually need to criticise the government’s lack of initiative, action and investment in state-run services and programs, thus silencing the debate on the budget in the eyes of the NDP. Because the NDP has contrasting views on government investment

× Arin Ringwald

and budgetary policies, announcing the budget in the midst of the games does not allow Mulcair to contrast his pro-investment, big government shadow budget with the Conservatives’ “spare no one, cut everything” approach to debt reduction.

This announcement will allow the government to attain their 2015 goal of a balanced budget without encountering mass scrutiny along the way.

The Conservatives are keen on balancing the budget by 2015 because if there’s one ideology their government needs in order to win the 2015 election, it’s fiscal responsibility. Trudeau believes that the government’s reputation for being fiscal conservatives has been tarnished since they took office in 2006. The Grit leader believes that, “Canadians are starting to realize that the [Conservatives’] reputation as fiscal managers is starting to evaporate.” However, since taking office, the Conservatives have lowered the federal sales tax, business and corporate taxes, tariffs on imported

goods and managed to position Canada at the top of the western world in terms of national unemployment rates, since the recession hit the world in 2007. A budget yielding a surplus in 2015 would be for Conservative supporters, a needle in a haystack of popular fiscal policies that position this government as stingy austerity lovers on the Canadian left, and responsible fiscal conservatives on the political right. Nonetheless, because a balanced budget is a much easier feat to sell to voters than their other fiscal achievements, recording a surplus in 2015 would be a strong play for the Conservatives, an achievement that would perhaps give them a leg up on the NDP and the Liberals on Election Day. Political commentator Michael Den Tandt of the National Post believes that this year’s “stay the course budget” can help the party win next year, arguing that the next two budgets “will keep the Conservatives inching towards their goal of re-election in 2015.”

Religion unknown STUDENT'S BELIEFS EXCLUDE HIM FROM FEMALE INTERACTION Alva Tee

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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In September 2013, a student at York University taking professor J. Paul Grayson’s online sociology course requested that he be excluded from taking part in a group assignment that involved working with women due to his religious beliefs.

“One of the main reasons that I have chosen Internet courses to complete my BA is due to my firm religious beliefs,” the student wrote. “It will not be possible for me to meet in public with a group of women (the majority of my group) to complete some of these tasks.” The rules of the Human Rights Department of York University prohibited Grayson from asking the student to clarify his religion. With this being a blurred line, the notion of a request is fair but the reasoning is not.

Abdullah Ahsan, third-year student at York University, shares his opinion. “As long as the council and/or the professor know it is a recognized religion, it is all the information they need. I say this simply because, otherwise, it would just become impossible to deal with.” Without solid identification, one can’t really be given the benefit of the doubt. “I could just start my own religion called Abdullahism where taking tests is a sin.”

The justification to keep the privacy of the student’s religion is well respected, yet one cannot

help but question the reliability of this student’s word. A more logical theory could simply be that he wanted to avoid working with girls.

“Maybe he just gets really nervous and uncomfortable around girls,” says Ahsan. “Or maybe he gets an uncontrollable erection when he’s in close proximity to girls. If he does, he is not the only York University student facing this problem.”

Grayson doubted that there was a religion out there that denied men from interacting with women. He conducted research of his own to further his knowledge on the subject. After emailing a variety of religious scholars, he came to the conclusion that a religion such as this has little possibility of existing. Regardless, Grayson saw the request as unfair and discriminative to women.

“If a Christian student refused to interact with a black student, as one could argue with a skewed interpretation of the Bible, the university would undoubtedly reject the request,” explains Grayson.

“I see no difference in this situation.”

Though the Dean of York University permitted the student’s request, Grayson saw inequality in this decision and decided to take it to a meeting where the rest of his department backed him up in passing a motion to deny the student’s request.

The strangest part of it all is that the student was not the least bit disgruntled when notified that his request had been denied.

“I cannot expect that everything will perfectly suit what I would consider an ideal situation,” he wrote. “I will respect the final decision and do my best to accommodate it. I thank you for the way you have handled this request, and I look forward to continuing in this course.”

There was no annoyance in his acceptance of his denied request whatsoever. If the student’s religious beliefs were as firm as he states they were it seems unlikely that he would give in so easily. Walid Saleh, director of the institute of Islamic studies at the University of Toronto, notes that the student relented very easily, and this very fact shows that he himself did not have a strong rebuttal after good reason was given to deflect his request.

However, it is a good thing that students have a way to express themselves if they feel that they are put in a conflicted situation. “Students always have the option of submitting issues and complaints to a council. There are many avenues for students to act upon their rights,” says Ahsan. “They do not have a ‘right’ to exceptions, it is privilege.”

According to York University’s website, they “help to shape the global thinkers and thinking that will define tomorrow.” It’s true, no decisions were made to be narrow and no actions were taken with the intention of harm pointed a certain way.

The dean’s decision of accepting the student’s request is now microscopic compared to the macro-

× Jackson Butchart

scopic buzz it has caused, supposedly jeopardizing Canada’s reputation as a peacekeeper country.

“Canada takes pride in its diverse population and how they live in harmony,” says Ahsan. “There are always going to be challenges with uniformity, but this little incident should not affect that as a whole.”

The student lacked proof of reason, but the situation was blown up more than it needed to be.

It is a needle of a problem among a haystack of mayhem, and in the end, both sides were fighting for human rights. Neither was trying to discriminate, and equality between students and how it would affect others was always of greatest concern.

That’s Canadian pride – coming to a point where our biggest problem is striving to find the balance between two rights for the better of the people around us.

opinions

Donating sperm for dummies CRAIGSLIST AD LEADS TO 18 YEAR COMMITMENT Julia Gabriel × Writer ing to participate in these parental rights. Unfortunately, due to the fact that this insemination was performed at home by the couple and not a physician, this law does not apply. Despite the written contract with the parents, the state refuses to see this as a valid surrender of responsibility for the child. An additional factor is that the union of Bauer and Schreiner is not legal in the state of Kansas, rendering one of them as the mother and another as simply a figure of authority in the child’s life, not the second parent.

The KDCF filed a case in 2012 demanding to have Marotta declared the rightful parent of the daughter before the couple can receive any financial assistance from the state. District Court Judge Mary Mattivi ruled Marotta as the father, not merely a sperm donor, concluding that it was not the state’s responsibility to provide support for the family now that the father has been identified as another source of income.

Judge Mattivi claimed that, “The parties failed to conform to the statutory requirements of the Kansas Parentage Act in not enlisting a licensed physician at some point in the artificial insemination process, and the parties’ self-designation of [Marotta] as a sperm donor is insufficient to relieve [Marotta] of parental rights and responsibilities.”

In conclusion, she ruled Marotta to pay $6,000 in neglected child support, in addition to future child support payments until his daughter reaches the age of 18. This decision made by the judge was largely based on the fact that it was a unique case, but this is untrue. In 1986, a sperm donor in California was made to pay child support to a couple who performed an at-home insemination based on the same laws in their state.

The case of Marotta vs. The State is more than just a problem involving finances – it raises the issue of privacy and responsibility surrounding sperm donors and their rights as a third party parent, one who is involved only in the conception of the child. “What this means is that no man is now safe when donating sperm,” wrote A Voice for Men author Kristina Hanson. If a man wishes to donate sperm to a woman, providing her the opportunity to have a child, then his rights should be protected as part of basic human ethics. Currently, their right to remain financially independent when under scrutiny of the state is only protected when it can be afforded. The absence of a licensed professional should not determine a lifetime of unaffordable child support, especially seeing as an athome insemination was likely performed due to a circumstance of low income.

Yet another issue raised by the case is that of

× Megan Collinson lesbian and women’s rights. The number one reason females choose the artificial insemination process is because of the independence it gives them.

Without having to rely on having a spouse or partner to provide them a child, women can take matters into their own hands and have a child that is not attached to a man. If a woman is rejected financial assistance from the state because the other parent has chosen to remain anonymous, then the state is taking away a woman’s right to be sexually and financially independent.

By demanding a sperm donor to pay child support to one of his recipients, an example is set for other men looking to donate, possibly scaring them away from heading to the sperm bank. “It certainly might have a negative effect on other men’s willingness to help couples who need a donor, which would be harmful to everyone,” said Shannon Minter. “I also think it undermines everyone’s respect for the law when you see it operate so arbitrarily.” To see

the state go after a good deed, especially when procedures were implemented by the family to keep the donor private and uninvolved, shows disrespect not only to the donor, but to the mothers, their child and future families involved with artificial insemination. “It’s awful to see what lengths the state will go to in order to avoid giving away money,” said Maria Godfrey, a woman considering insemination for her pregnancy. “Even if it involves destroying the lives of other people, they are willing to demand money from someone who probably didn’t even know his daughter’s name instead of helping a family through a financial assistance program like they should.” This decision in Kansas has caused rights to be ignored and has possibly affected future families looking for a start through artificial insemination.

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" With YouTube videos and step-by-step tutorials easily found online, at-home inseminations are more accessible than ever and are rising in popularity across North America "

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Sperm donor William Marotta is now legally responsible for paying child support in care of a four-year-old daughter he sired to a same sex couple in 2009. The court decision in Kansas has become the latest controversy over state law, lesbian rights and donor privacy due to its intrusive and discriminatory nature. The ruling has sparked uproar among the LGBT and donor community, causing many to question their liability as a donor in addition to their rights as a parent and individual. By demanding the donor parent to provide child support, the state of Kansas has violated sperm donor rights and privacy, as well as disrespected and ignored the lesbians’ rights to be financially independent.

Artificial insemination has provided women and same sex couples with the ability to bear children of their own. Though this has opened the door to starting a family without a male partner, pregnancy via sperm donor is a lengthy process that is not always affordable. A DIY method known as “Athome Artificial Insemination” acts in lieu of the use of a licensed physician. With YouTube videos and step-by-step tutorials easily found online, at-home inseminations are more accessible than ever and are rising in popularity across North America.

This was the case with same sex couple Angela Bauer and Jennifer Schreiner, who posted an ad on Craigslist asking for a sperm donor to help make their pregnancy a reality. Craigslist user Marotta donated his sperm to the couple after replying to the ad, and signed an agreement with the parents which rendered him not responsible for the support and care of the child. A daughter was sired through an at-home artificial insemination performed by Bauer and Schreiner using Marotta’s sperm. Three years following the birth of their daughter – the result of Marotta’s donation – the couple separated, and continued to maintain zero contact with Marotta in respect of their contract.

Unable to support the child individually upon separation, the couple applied for state welfare, but were denied. According to the Kansas Department for Children and Families (KDCF), Bauer’s and Schreiner’s applications were deemed not valid due to several laws.

According to the state, Marotta’s contract that vetoes his parental rights and responsibilities is not seen as a plausible legal document. Because of this, Bauer and Schreiner must seek financial assistance from “the father” before seeking assistance from the state. Normally, in the case of artificial insemination, a law protecting sperm donor rights outlines that when performed through a licensed physician, the sperm donor is protected from hav-

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columns

LEAH SCHEITEL COLUMNS EDITOR

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Functional Adult GROCERY SHOPPING FOR REAL PEOPLE Paisley Conrad × Columnist

Far from her small town roots, Paisley Conrad is trying to find her way in Vancouver. Her life is now a juggling act of school, work and improv comedy, and she manages to pull it off while appearing like an adult. In her column, she will explore the tribulations of a young student trying to figure it out outside of the parents’ house.

I'm a girl of simple pleasures. I like reading paperback novels, watching ridiculous British boarding school movies and spending inordinate amounts of time in bed. I’m also easily pleased when it comes to feeding myself. I guess one could call me low maintenance, but I'm sure that lazy would also suffice.

I've never been a huge fan of grocery stores. For some reason, every time I enter the walls of a Safeway, a Thrifty Foods or a No Frills, the universe seems to put out a banana peel for me to trip on.

Maybe this has to do with the fact that I worked in one for three years and never managed to get the hang of the Thrifty Foods slogan “Smiles Every Day.” Whether it's picking up the only bag of sugar on the shelf that has a hole in the bottom, having my bag full of apples tear open and fall all over the concrete the second I walk out of the store, or

knocking over elaborate Valentine’s Day chocolate displays, I just never seem to have a good time.

I remember one instance on a Friday night. I had a hankering for Dunkaroos so I wandered the aisles of Safeway for about 20 minutes before letting go of my pride and found a bored teenager masquerading as a grocery shelver to help me. I roped him into my hunt, and together we combed the candy aisle as thoroughly as an archaeologist combing a dig site. We hit up the baking aisle, the cracker aisle and the bargain aisle. Our hands still empty of the kangaroo-encrusted icing treats, we realized that this search was bigger than all of us.

We had to go to management.

The grocery manager was all gussied up in his starchy white shirt and cheesy smiley face tie. Using his all-encompassing knowledge of obscure grocery store items and their elusive locations, he found the Dunkaroos in seconds, sandwiched at the end of the gluten-free aisle next to a display of deodorant. Do I regret wasting three-quarters of an hour on a Friday night in a Safeway only to spend $5 on a box of sugary treats marketed to seven year olds? Only a little bit. They taste too damn good to regret.

I have a certain relationship with the idea of non-perishable food items, particularly ramen noodles. A flat of 12 individual packages of dry egg noodles costs less than $4. That's 12 entire meals all in one convenient piece of cardboard.

Due to its ease and amount of sheer carbs, I have taken to boiling up a package of ramen, sans the flavour powder, every morning. Apparently it is

not incredibly healthy to simply eat ramen with excessive amounts of cheddar cheese grated on top of it for breakfast.

Through the help of the Internet (endless well of wisdom), my roommate (bottomless pit of support) and my mother (never-ending stream of disappointment), I've begun to figure out this whole healthy eating thing. I'm slowly moving away from bright, crinkly packages and rivers of refined sugar to fresh produce and lean cuts of chicken.

It's always best to have a plan of attack when you go grocery shopping. Wandering aimlessly through the aisles not only will waste your time, it will waste your money, and when you're a student, both of those things are in very short supply.

Try your best to go at strategic times, like midmorning, or mid-afternoon to miss the rushes.

Start thinking about what you're going to purchase a day or so in advance. Look at your empty cupboards. Talk to anyone who lives in your household. Google sample student grocery lists.

Don't forget to bring your own grocery list with you; there is nothing more upsetting than getting home from a trip to the store and realizing that you forgot the eggs.

When you buy fruits and vegetables, don't buy in excess, and remember to clean out your crisper.

When you buy a package of meat, if you're not intending on eating it that night, pop it in the freezer. Buying non-perishables in bulk is always a good choice (unless, of course, you're buying excessive amounts of ramen). One of my personal favourite things to do is watch for sales on frozen

× Kelsey Holden fruit and stock up on that for smoothies.

Do your best to not go grocery shopping hungry. Your eyes are always bigger than your stomach, and the likelihood of you loading up on unhealthy and fattening foods is far higher if your stomach is rumbling. In a pinch, swing by the deli at the beginning of your trip, and buy a something from their hot case, or a sandwich. While it may cost you $5, in the long run it'll keep the overall cost of your grocery bill down. I've spent many a pretty penny on packages of pizza pops that I will never eat.

The more strategic you are about your grocery shopping, the better stocked your cupboards will be, both in quantity and quality. Ever since I've started eating fruit and protein for breakfast, I've noticed that I'm a lot less of a hag in the mornings.

I also feel more energized, healthy and more in control. In fact, I feel more like an adult, now that I'm not eating like a thirty-year-old video game addict renting out his mother’s basement suite.

And don't forget to smile at the cashiers. Trust me - they've had a long day, too.

the art of a ski bum LET'S GET WEIRD

idea and push it to the extreme of the concept.

Let's follow the course of strobe lighting in ski photography that has become incredibly popular over the past decade; by using incredibly powerful lighting from close range, one could create a stage spotlight-type lighting effect.

Reuben G. Krabbe

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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Reuben Krabbe moved to Whistler to shoot, ski, and drink wine. His work can be seen gracing the pages of Skier, Powder, Bike, among others.When Reuben isn’t shooting photos, he likes to watch America’s Next Top Model, and embark on health debates about philosophy and religion. Sometimes he does this all at the same time. His work can be seen at ReubenKrabbe.com As a result of my profession as a photographer, I'm valued for uniqueness. I'm wanted for the cadence of my mental wandering, my unconscious tendencies and that of myself that I have hidden from the world.

To create ideas and imagery, I use this uniqueness and my ability to see things in a different light than the norm. To keep my ideas from getting stale, I have crafted some weird habits. These habits aren’t just the key to my creativity, but my success as a photographer. Weirdness came naturally and I've come to recognize its patterns in my creative process. Here is my weirdness. #1: Don't Die - Always rule number one. #2: Cross Pollination - New ideas and concepts generally evolve from the previous generation of concepts. So, the new version looks like the old one; it's similar to that which birthed it. However,

× Kristen Wright there are interesting things happening in all different evolutionary branches, no matter how far removed. From seemingly unconnected places, I glean concepts and ideas, cross pollinating them to create hybrid styles and concepts previously foreign to each genre.

For example, what can mountain biking learn from classical ballet? I could focus on the human form and how it expresses itself through mountain biking, such as the way defensive postures appear in dangerous situations. Or, how an aerial trick can temporarily free the human body from the confinement of gravity, allowing for beautiful and unique displays. That's a cool photography project. Isolate, emphasize and capture the aesthetic human form in the air. #3: Logical Conclusion - Emphasis is interesting, contrast is eye catching, risk may raise eyebrows but danger makes for edge-of-seat reading.

Though everything doesn't need to be flashy and attractive, hyperbole of any attribute concentrates concepts into captivating visuals. I examine things, find a characteristic or trait, and follow that

#4: Brain Made of Sodium - I've stumbled into the mental picture of my brain being made of pure sodium. A volatile metallic element which I gleefully stole from my high school chemistry class to perform experiments, including casting a fly to a fiery hellish demise down a smoking crackling sink and nearly destroying several porcelain waste receptacles. When sodium is exposed to almost anything other than a neutral oil fluid suspension, it reacts. Exposure to water can start it on fire – even exposure to air causes change.

When I expose my brain to stimuli, or immerse it in new environments, it reacts in an interesting fashion. Correlations appear between seemingly unrelated phenomena, or subconscious human mannerisms are brought to the conscious level and can be examined. I continually try to immerse myself in different experiences.

One of the most creative times I've experienced was the first couple weeks of a mind-numbingly bad job as a security desk jockey in an oblong white room, staring out into a white corridor, checking badges of infrequently passing staff. This concentration chamber, the store's crazy clientele, and the time I was given to think, caused me inadvertently produce a huge volume of new and different ideas. #5: Self-awareness - I've often lamented my self-awareness: an inability to simply listen, respond and live without existing from a removed, narrating conscious state. However, that height-

ened self-awareness is part of me. My ability to tune into mental patterns and subtle responses defines the way I see and hear the world, following and exploiting my mind's tendencies can be a key to creating new and different things.

This self-awareness also keeps my weirdness in check. The self-aware and timid aspect of me often reviews and censors ideas. Frankly, every side of any human isn't worth portraying in a public way. I don't need to show each aberration of my existence.

These aren't intentionally invented tactics, formed to practice and generate a creative method. Instead, they're simply the things that my brain has already started doing, and I've started to recognize their patterns in my thought processes. Since they haven't been in a list or an intentional manifesto, their lines are blurred and the steps often occur mixed and overlapped. I take the idea of my brain reacting to new situations and push that to a hyperbolic level, I then find myself spending two solitary days in the forest, thinking and seeing where the path of my thought would simply go when given the space to move.

Neither of these are meant to be methods formed for replication by another brain. They may work to produce interesting ideas for another person, but there's a good chance forest vision quests aren't for you. This is simply an introspective cross-examination where my thoughts have traveled most frequently to bring me to the path I'm on.

Aspiring photographers and creative types sometimes ask me for advice on a school, or a key to success, apprenticing, or gear. Here it is: if you want success with a camera, brush or keyboard, go to business school and grab a how-to manual. But to create, get weird.

Columns

the modern groupie SEX, DRUGS & ROCK 'N ROLL Layla Domino × Columnist

Layla Domino is a veteran groupie with a love of all things music and all things men. After spending her early 20s backstage waiting for her lovers to serenade crowds and in the front seat of tour buses, she has gathered some raucous stories, which she will now share with you. And naturally, her favourite movie is a tie between Magic Mike and Almost Famous.

After dating around in the music scene for a while, being known for sneaking into shows through the backdoor and making out with the guys in the band, and taking my shirt off in mosh pits – classy, I know – I was becoming a conditioned groupie. I went to shows, I bought the bands’ records, and I snuck into the back of the band vans and guzzled on beer bongs with other girls who, like me, were hanging off band members. I didn’t actually sleep around – at the age of 18 I had only ever had sex twice, with my long-term ex-boyfriend – but I didn’t care if people thought I did. I was known.

Through all of the totally reckless behaviour and purposely putting my heart in harm’s way, I met the one musician who changed me completely.

When a group of my friends and I got kicked out of a party one evening in early spring, we headed back to the house of my best friend, whose parents were notoriously relaxed. Underage drinking

and smoking weed in their basement? No problem - they were fine with it. They were the equivalent of Regina George’s mom, if Regina George’s mom kept Ziploc bags of marijuana in the freezer. Beer, joints and guitars were being passed around in the circle of teenagers sitting cross legged on the floor, and when the guitar came around to me, I didn’t hesitate to show off that I’d just learned to play the Beatles’ “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)”.

This impressed one of the younger boys, Adam, a tall, long-haired aspiring musician who was, obviously, just my type. He dragged me into another room to “jam” and talk about music, and we emerged three hours later, significantly drunk and more excited about music than ever before. We didn’t kiss that night contrary to what the other party goers, who were busy trying to knock down the door and get a peek and whatever goods they thought would be exposed, had imagined.

On a scrap piece of paper, Adam had scribbled down a list of songs and artists that I needed to download. His taste in music was surprisingly more mellow and folksy than his Motley Crue t-shirt and dyed jet black hair led me to believe. I took that piece of paper and all of its suggestions home that night and downloaded each song. I was falling in love with Adam – hard.

It wasn’t long after that we were completely enrapt with each other. Fast forward a few years and Adam had left his struggling folk-rock band Brother Nature and opted into leading a new heavy blues-rock quartet, Black Wizard. Around the same time, I took my passion for writing and music beyond the back of the band van and scored

× Chris Dedinsky myself an internship at a major culture weekly in Vancouver in the music department. That internship turned into a part-time freelancing gig for the paper, and between being the Black Wizard frontman’s girlfriend and a freelance music journalist, I barely ever paid cover for the two to three shows per week I was attending. Membership had its privileges.

It also wasn’t without its faults. The bigger Black Wizard got, the more trouble seemed to gravitate towards our lives. Adam and I lived in a two bedroom house with another couple, one of whom was another member of Black Wizard. Our house became the hub of all parties in our social circle, and was affectionately called, “The Woodstock hostel of our generation.” It wasn’t rare to wake up at noon, walk into the living room and see someone from last night’s party sleeping on the couch with an empty flap of cocaine lying on the coffee table.

What was once a nice backyard that had the potential to be a wonderful garden became a post-music festival style war ground, littered with

empty beer cans and 26 oz. whiskey bottles full of cigarette butts. Sometimes, there would be condom wrappers lying on the bathroom floors and truth be told, I often wondered if they were Adam’s. Our home, the home I had made with my big love, became the quintessence of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll.

After a year of living in our completely wrecked house, the other couple we were living with broke up, and when I’d caught wind of Adam cheating on me almost incessantly, we followed suit. I was gutted that I’d been so blind to his infidelity, and also because Adam was so often broke from quitting jobs that a big portion of my student loan went up our noses, which I deeply regretted. He was just starting a new musical project called Three Wolf Moon and I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be cheering him on in the front row like I’d done for five years.

I couldn’t say I was surprised, though. I signed up for the life of a groupie, and there it was – infidelity, cocaine addiction et al.

humans THE SOCIAL CONSEQUENCES OF CANADIAN MINING

Christine Janke × Columnist

Canadian mining companies such as Nevsun are eager to help local populations by offering above average salaries as well as room and board, but it seems that the greater thing to do would be to hand the mines over to the people who have lived on the land for hundreds or thousands of years. It’s as if we in the West are starving and impoverished, needing to latch onto another country to make ends meet. Canadian mining companies are taking advantage of the low value of human life in developing countries. They are seizing the opportunity to profit from overseas minerals when the local populations are being oppressed and controlled by their own rogue governments. Resource development in Canada and around the world by Canadian companies is the new Canadian reputation. If you are still under the illusion that being Canadian will bring you a warm welcome and a smile as you travel south, think again, and remember who is representing your nation around the globe.

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We are all aware of how mining and resource exploration in Canada’s North is having an impact on the human rights of northern communities, but what about the effects of Canadian mining on non-Canadians? When it comes to corporate social responsibility internationally, Canada has a large role to play. A staggering 75 per cent of mines around the globe have headquarters based here in Canada. Canada, not China, is dominating resource exploration in Africa. These mining companies are not only able to avoid taxation since their operations are outside of Canadian borders, but they are also able to avoid laws and correct business practices that aim to protect human life.

Human rights organizations constantly report on the violence and threats local protestors face when attempting to stand up for their community and their land. Under international law, local communities have the right to free, prior and informed consent over how their land will be developed.

fair to say that all companies are aimed at being so careless. Nevsun Resources is an example of a company that walked straight into one country’s meagre human rights situation from day one. Partnering with Eritrea’s government to create the nation’s first mining project, forced labour through government conscription is what built their Bisha mine in 2008. According to Human Rights Watch, many Eritrean labourers faced inadequate food supplies and unsafe housing. When Nevsun was questioned about these practices, they agreed that the situation has been a cause of great concern. Nevsun attempted to conduct further construction in 2012 but this time without the help of government contractors. They were soon ordered to stop and once again the Eritrean government used forced labour to continue production.

While Nevsun feels powerless and that they themselves are not to blame in this situation, they are still fully implicated in the human rights violations taking place on their Bisha mine site. Corporations may not realize in advance how they will become entangled in human rights abuses through dealing with governments in their host country, and this is a point that should be considered by Canadian mining companies well before any talks begin with foreign governments.

The Canadian government expects mining companies to operate under the laws of whichever country they are operating in, but the fact remains that many of these host countries have corrupt governments that care more for private corporate development than for the well-being of their own people. The world of mining is one in which indigenous peoples are obstacles that need to be removed and bribery is a normal and acceptable business practice. It is admirable that many

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Christine Janke is the kind of soul that cares for all of the ones around her. Her education in Human Rights from Malmo University in Sweden has allowed her to look at the world in a different light. Her Humans column will delve into human rights, in Canada and abroad.

Unfortunately in practice, local communities are hardly ever brought into discussions on mining and land development. Mining companies are looking to make serious cash, and local governments are easily swayed at the prospect of earning a piece of the profit.

Tahoe Resources, based out of Vancouver, B.C., is one such company facing growing concerns over its mining operations in Guatemala. Protestors there face violence and intimidation by security forces hired by Tahoe according to Amnesty International. Their silver mining Escobal Project has created tension and inflicted violence on human rights defenders, and just last summer, the region of the Escobal mine underwent militarization. Protesting was banned by the government of Guatemala, leaving locals unable to stand up for their right to clean drinking water. The government of Guatemala has failed to protect the rights of its citizens, and Tahoe Resources has also failed to operate in a socially responsible way. Though difficult to swallow, the Canadian public is made indirectly responsible in these human rights violations since the Canadian Pension Plan we all own shares in this privately owned mining company.

Barrick Gold Corporation is another such mining company failing to operate in an ethical way.

Their gold mine in Papua New Guinea has seen violence and murders as well as the raping of indigenous women by the mine’s security forces according to a 2011 Globe and Mail article. In their attempts to mine for gold in the Philippines, TVI Pacific hired their own paramilitary forces to intimidate and sometimes brutally remove indigenous populations from the area (Mining Watch Canada).

While many mining corporations may be directly implicated in human rights abuses, it is un-

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cap you

the cultural side of campus

Shooting for the stars CAPU BASKETBALL ATTACKS PROVINCIALS Carlo Javier × Staff Writer

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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Despite rough and challenging starts to their season, both of CapU’s basketball squads are now preparing their runs at the coming Provincial Championships.

As of Feb. 11, both the men’s and women’s Blues basketball teams hold an eight win and 10 loss record.

Both sit fourth in their respective divisions.

John Leong, third-year guard with the current standing record, it does not accurately reflect their overall success.

The MBlues seemingly opened their season with an outstanding 10-6 record, however, two of their wins were taken away due to eligibility issues with some players. Furthermore, the team struggled with injuries to players from their starting line-up. “We lost two out of five of our starting line-up over the Christmas break, one player due to academics and the other, a co-captain, to an international exchange in second semester,” says Leong. The MBlues did, however, beat the Vancouver Island University Mariners – the defending national champions and ranked fifth in the country.

Regardless of the early struggles, the team has made noticeable improvements game after game.

“Our team is improving weekly,” begins Leong.

“Especially in the new year, we were getting better as a team from game to game and even practice to practice. The other thing that started to improve was our team chemistry.”

The team has also been challenged by this year’s

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wave of new players. As with any other team sport, chemistry doesn’t happen instantly and is developed through time and repetition, and as the season grows, so does the team’s unity. “Our roster this year contains a lot of new players to the program so figuring out each other’s strengths and preferences on the court was tough at first, but now we are playing as a unit,” Leong explains.

The team has also embodied a “no-superstar” approach to games. There is no reliance on a single player to grant the team to a victory, and instead a complete unit works towards winning.

Leong describes rookies Gino Pagbilao, Hassan Phils and Cole Ingram as potential honourees of this year’s All-Rookie team. He also cites fifth-year player Luke Wera, division 2 SFU transfer Andrew Morris, CIS transfers from St. Mary’s Warren Liang and Asher Lewis, Colin Plumb, Sam Zhang, and Mike Hunter for providing a stabling veteran presence on the team.

As the provincial championships approach, the MBlues aim to gain momentum for the annual tournament. Winning the provincials would only be the first step towards an even grander goal – winning the national championship. “The biggest goals I set at the beginning were team goals,” says Leong. “These goals were winning provincials and qualifying for nationals, and then winning nationals. These are big goals that most teams will generally set for themselves, but our entire team believes

[ O ] : Arnie Dominic Guieb

that they are realistic and attainable.”

The unquenchable thirst for winning is present in Leong; in 12 years of playing basketball, the guard has achieved many individual accolades, but a championship has always eluded him. He hopes to make this year the year.

Assimilating three rotation rookies to the MBlues seems challenging enough, but in comparison, the women’s Blues basketball team faced the tall task of bringing in eight rookies to the team.

“I think the greatest challenge we faced early in the season is a lack of experience,” begins guard Francis Kaye-Penafiel. “We’ve struggled with the mental aspect of the game – mental toughness, confidence in ourselves, and just basketball smarts, which naturally comes with years of experience in the league,” she adds.

The relative youth of the team has also led to an exuberant feel among the players, which comes naturally to a young and excited squad. “This year I’ve seen a lot more high-fives, butt slaps and laughs on and off the court. It’s nice because it helps maintain a positive atmosphere at practice and during games,” Penafiel says.

Despite that, the players have maintained a level of professionalism and patience that helps the way they take errors and losses as learning experiences.

Penafiel also believes that their youth is not just a challenge, but also a potential strength. “Being a young and new team, I believe our learning curve is much higher than any other team’s and this is what allows us to get better by leaps and bounds,” she says.

Eight rookies to implement into a team can sometimes lead to the rookies themselves becoming leaders. Penafiel herself set her early season goal as becoming a young leader to a young team.

“The biggest goal I set for myself was to be a leader.

I’ve always been the quiet type to follow and do whatever I was asked, so this season it’s been quite the challenge trying to take on a completely different role.”

With the Provincial Championships just around the corner, the WBlues look to prove their doubters wrong. Many have labeled the team as being too young to make noise come playoff time, but this is a team that’s ready to surprise adversaries. “There have been a lot of people saying that our team is too young or too inexperienced to win a championship,” says Penafiel.

“The good thing about being the underdog or underestimated is that nobody sees you coming, so as the underdogs, I expect to cause some upsets.”

sports

KATHERINE GILLARD SPORTS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

canuckle heads [ o ] Arnie Dominic Guieb

FANS UPSET AFTER TEAM FLAILS

on point

Francis Kaye-Penafiel Guard, Women’s Basketball

2nd Year Arts and Sciences

Favourite basketball team:

Can you twerk:

Miami Heat all the way.

After a few drinks, maybe.

Favourite movie:

Fast food restaurant preference:

It might sound cheesy but Love and Basketball is my favourite. It’s an old movie with Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps.

Dairy Queen

Favourite boy band:

I have no idea to be honest. I don’t really listen to boy bands but I love Beyoncé.

Tom Hanks or Adam Sandler:

Tom Hanks

Which Olympic sport are you most excited for:

Figure skating, for sure. I think it’s really sick.

Why did you get into basketball:

I started out with soccer but I’ve always liked watching guys play basketball and so I kind of wanted to pick up the sport and I just joined the league and that’s how it happened. Now I’m in love with the sport.

Calvin deGroot × Writer On Feb. 8, the Canucks lost their seventh game in a row. To make matters worse, it was the last game before the three-week Olympic break, and it was to the Toronto Maple Leafs, who they have not lost to in 11 years.

All is not well in Canuckland – they have fallen out of a playoff position and both fans and media are calling for drastic action. “They are spiraling out of control,” said TSN analyst Jeff O’Neill. There is plenty of blame to go around, whether it’s being put on the Sedin twins who are not having a great year, Coach John Tortorella or General Manager Mike Gillis. In the end, all of them are to blame, but the problem with the Canucks right now is simple: they cannot score. Aside from the Sedins and Kesler, secondary scoring has been terrible. Alex Burrows has not scored yet this season and David Booth has not scored since early December.

Trade rumours are beginning to surface as a TSN report leaked that every player, aside from the Sedins, is on the trading block. Some are even calling for the Sedins to be traded. “Let’s face it, they are not the dominant players they used to be,” said O’Neill last week. But before they make any huge decisions, trades or firings, it is important to understand just how much success the Canucks have had over the last few years. In fact, most teams go through similar

stretches over an 82 game season. From December to early January, nothing was going right for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Everyone was calling for a big trade or to fire their head coach. Then, a few weeks ago, everything changed and the Leafs are 11-2-1 in their last 14 games. The Montreal Canadiens went through a similar situation and have also turned things around as of late – most teams go through both high and low streaks.

Not to mention the Canucks are basically playing with their AHL team as three of their best defensemen, Dan Hamhuis, Kevin Bieksa, and Chris Tanev have been injured. Captain Henrik Sedin, secondary scoring phenomenon Mike Santorelli, and Roberto Luongo have also missed substantial time during this losing streak.

Despite the TSN leak that every Canuck player is on the trading block, Gillis claims that he is not panicking and is not actually planning on making major trades as a result of the miserable last few weeks.

It is also important to note that in December, the team scored 10-1-2 in 13 games – when the team is healthy, they can win.

Does this mean the Canucks would not benefit from adding a scoring winger like Buffalo’s Tomas Vanek (who appears to be available) at the trade deadline? Of course not. That kind of a trade would do wonders for this team. However, over the threeweek Olympic break, many of the players will rest, rehabilitate and come back ready to play. Everything is going to be okay, Canucks fans.

#CAPCOURIER

the spirit of st.Louis

@CAPILANOCOURIER

STEVEN STAMKOS IS IRREPLACEABLE BUT SO IS MARTIN ST. LOUIS Calvin deGroot × Writer

@andarsaladfarts

×

When he's not laying out the pages of the Capilano Courier every Thursday and Friday, our production manager @andarsaladfarts is quite the biker. No, not the type you'll find outside your local dive bar sporting a skullet and a fading collection of tattoos -- the type who carries a basket-full of student newspapers on the front of his road cycle, giving out free high fives as he zooms down the street. This past week, good ol' SaladFarts could be found zipping around the False Creek seawall spreading Valentines Day cheer and delivering copies of the Courier to the good folks of Vancouver. This week's Cap-ture came from that magical day. Look ma, no hands!

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tremendously hard for everything and success has never come easy; he went undrafted as NHL teams and scouts wrote him off for being too small. Then, after a few years with various minor league clubs, St. Louis was offered a contract with the Calgary Flames in 1998. But he was never able to fully break into the Flames’ line up and after a few years in the AHL, he was released to the 2000 expansion draft where he was passed over, again.

Eventually, the Tampa Bay Lightning signed St. Louis; he has remained in Tampa ever since. He is now their captain, and over the years has proven every one of his critics wrong. His hard work, determination and competitive level is unmatched by anyone in the league, and Canada is incredibly fortunate to have him.

In a way, St. Louis originally being passed over by the Olympic team is fitting as it falls in line with the theme of his career. He always enters in through the back door, but always has success. Currently, St. Louis is penciled in as Canada’s 13th forward, meaning there is no guarantee he will even see the ice during regular game play in Sochi. But if history has shown us anything, it is likely that he will score the game-winning goal that wins the gold medal.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Steven Stamkos made headlines when it was announced he would be unavailable to play for Team Canada at the Olympics in Sochi. It was a huge blow for Canada, but losing Stamkos allows the team to avoid making a huge mistake: leaving Martin St. Louis off the team. When the team was announced in January, it sent shockwaves throughout the hockey world as St. Louis was not offered a spot when many believed he should be in Sochi.

The numbers speak for themselves – since the 2010 Olympics (where St. Louis was also left off the team), no player in the NHL has scored more points. Not Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin or Steven Stamkos. St. Louis also has plenty of international experience. He played for Team Canada in the 2006 Olympics, and has won one gold and two silver medals at the World Championships. He has also won the NHL’s MVP award and the Art Ross Trophy (leading scorer) twice during the last 10 years.

While his stats are impressive, the numbers do not fully represent how valuable St. Louis is. At 38 years old, he brings a much needed veteran presence and leadership to this year’s Olympic team.

St. Louis is also one of the smallest players in the NHL (5’9”), and throughout his career has had to deal with tremendous adversity. He has worked

Pick up a copy of next week's issue to find out how he got his nickname!

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Staff Editorial call me crazy THE MISCONCEPTION OF DRESSING FOR SUCCESS Faye Alexander × Opinions Editor

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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× Cheryl Swan

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There is something to be said about the power of sporty blazers. I had just been hired by a furniture design firm in downtown Vancouver. The office was fresh out of a magazine spread with windows overlooking False Creek, a courtesy coffee machine and well-dressed bosses who would disappear on a weekly basis to the hair salon for touch-ups. I was hired to Tweet, Facebook and blog about modern mid-century furniture designs, not because I’m an expert on the subject. The truth was I didn’t know virtually anything about modern mid-century design. I merely have the gift of gab and had donned calculated red lipstick and a well tailored blazer to my interview. Appearances are everything.

I was elated to be blogging about egg-shaped chairs and tulip tables, but even more so about having a job where I could wear high-heels to work. I bought green creased khaki slacks and an efficient blouse. At 27, there is an expectation that you should be getting somewhere in the journey that is life and sporting professional looking clothes and accessorizing my outfits at least gave me the outward appearance that I was pulling this off. It’s common advice in the workplace to dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.

However I wasn’t sure if wearing a blazer and sexy office pumps really ever was what I had been aspiring towards. It was more what was expected of a

woman my age who still, admittedly, was a far cry from “finding my calling.”

Something about my efficient blouse and sweater-set began to make me uncomfortable. Even the high-heels I had been so excited to wear started to feel like they were strangling me. On my way into the office and during my lunch breaks, I would quickly pace around the block and talk myself down from increasingly frequent panic attacks.

Sometimes, I would just get up from my desk and bolt towards the doors to suck back sweetly on cigarettes and wait until the fear would subside. It wasn’t necessarily the job – at the time I wasn’t entirely sure where the fear came from. But one day, over a slice of pizza and a glass of chocolate milk, I looked around my office and decided I would not ever be coming back.

I called my doctor and asked that I be seen as soon as possible. I had been through a few spats of depression and anxiety before, I knew that if I mentioned depression, the woman scheduling at the desk would fast-lane me to the very next day.

I expected a note to my employers explaining I would be needing some time off and possibly a refill of an Ativan prescription to combat the new panic attacks. However, my doctor had seen me before, written that same note before, and signed off on those little white pills before – she crossed

her arms and looked me up and down and bargained with me. I could have the note but I would have to begin therapy and start on antidepressants.

I was tired of winding up back in the same place, back in that office sitting in a chair explaining the lows of my moods. It felt like every year I wound up in the same place, recycling the same symptoms and sadness. The only thing I hadn’t tried was therapy. Therapy, to me, was a terrifying odyssey.

There is a societal hang-up when it comes to mental health. Although there have been big moves to bring mental health issues, which include depression and anxiety, to the forefront, it continues to be clouded by negativity. By seeking help whether medicinally or therapeutically, in turn you are also admitting that there is something wrong with you. I didn’t like the idea of people getting the impression there was something wrong with me. I had been faking it very well for the past eight years.

I had a knack for keeping my personal anguish to myself and moving past it. It was becoming clear to me, however, that by winding up at the hospital or at my doctor’s on a yearly basis with the exact same list of problems – maybe my manner of coping wasn’t all that useful. Maybe the right job, right boyfriend, or right apartment wasn’t going to fix anything. I had to do it myself.

I was terrified walking into my first group

therapy session. I had never imagined I would be writing my name in oversized sharpie on a folded piece of paper to place before my chair. I was sitting in a circles looking out over a myriad of other frightened anxious looking faces with their scribbled monikers sitting politely about the room. Yet group therapy has taught me a lot – much more than any pharmaceutical drug could offer. By sharing experiences with other people who suffer from the same type of anxiety and depression, you realize that you are not isolated in your feelings. Most of this fear that we feel is universal and we live so largely in our own minds, we don’t realize that it’s a shared experience. In that room, although terrifying at first, I found a safe space to express my confused feelings and find new perspectives that have impacted the way I live my daily grind.

The quest to appear normal and to keep struggles to myself did not serve me. By fighting through those fears and making it (albeit kicking and screaming) to group therapy, I changed my life. I may always struggle with depression and anxiety, but I feel liberated to be able to own that, work pro-actively to have a healthy life, and be able to share it openly now. The stigma attached to seeking help needs to be removed, as was my blazer.

"I DIDNT LIKE THE IDEA OF PEOPLE THINKING THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME - I HAD BEEN FAKING IT PRETTY WELL FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS."

caboose

JEREMY HANLON CABOOSE EDITOR

CABOOSE@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

sid and mr. white Suzanne Helen James × Writer This is the story of Sid. Now, Sid was a child who was so bad not even the military could restrain him. It seemed like he had absolutely no empathy for others, nor any trace of heart... until the day he met Abby Gonzales in the park and she literally punched some sense into him. The two would later befriend each other in a civil manner and even fall in love. Later on, as young adults, after dating for a while they'd move in together.

However, something happened one day, when Sid met the new cat Abby brought home.

Mr. White, as Abby would call him, a strange little creature, thin and pink, with a big forehead, bulging golden yellow eyeballs held under droopy half-lidded eyelids, twisted whiskers held together by a long, bony, fleshy neck and finally four stickthin fragile legs, huddled around its owner's arms in her embrace. “I just kinda fell in love with the little guy… he looked so pathetic I just had to bring him home!” Abby said excitedly as she nudged Sid to get closer, but when he did the cat creaked its large head to look up at Sid...and then gazing up at him, it gave a slow, creepy smirk towards the boy, who raised an

eyebrow at the sight and growled.

“What's wrong?” asked Abby, who'd seen nothing out of the ordinary. “N-nothing,” Sid muttered in response, huffing a whiff of air as he stared down the cat, whose sleepy stare etched into the depths of Sid's mind.

There's something FUCKING WRONG with that cat, Sid thought later that evening before bed.

Later on that week, when Sid was away from the house, Abby started decorating Mr. White's future room, which would be modified according to his unique taste. She was so infatuated with the feline that she collected and decorated his room with a collection of blood, guts and bones displayed all over the room. However, what made this room truly stand out was the fact it must never have light; it must always be dimly-lit or completely dark. “Mr. White really thrives in the dark, 'cause you know, it’s where his primal instincts come out best,” she claimed.

When Sid returned home and saw this new room, he growled and rolled his eyes...because even though he had his own share of disturbing things he cherished, this was where Sid would have drawn the line.

Another time, when Abby and Sid were watching a movie, Mr. White had decided to interrupt their snuggling and lodged himself in-between the amorous pair. Abby giggled and welcomed the visi-

× Cheryl Swan tor, whereas Sid refused to budge, keeping his arm firmly placed around Abby's shoulder...until a flicker of Mr. White's tail smacked his face and the sudden blow pushed Sid to the ground.

In response, Abby berated the cat, groaning, “Look what you did, Mr. White! That's not how you act towards Sid!” A shocked Sid blinked then hissed as he felt something sting his cheek...which was bleeding.

“Come on now,” Abby chided as she tilted her head to the side. “What's that on your cheek? Go clean that up.” Sid blinked and raised an eyebrow before touching his cheek.

“Go on,” she ordered again. “Leave the room and

clean that up!” But Sid, not taking anyone's orders, rose up and retorted, “Hey, I'm bleeding here and you seem to give more of a shit about that creepy pussy than me!”

Abby shrugged and turned away from Sid, who growled and lunged forward...only to then smack his face against an invisible force, blocking him from reaching Abby and Mr. White. “W-what the?” Sid exclaimed as he then slammed his fist against the invisible wall, trying to reach his girlfriend who, oddly enough, couldn't hear him.

“What the fuck?” Sid cried again as he punched the force field again and again.

Abby meanwhile smiled down at a purring Mr. White nestled in her lap. “Aww, look what you did...” she said softly as she rubbed his large forehead. “You played way too rough with Sid and now he can't play with us.” The feline purred enthusiastically and rocked his head back and forth as it was being massaged. To Sid's shock, he watched as Abby's eyes started to glow as she kept on petting Mr. White, who turned his own glowing eyes to look at Sid... whose mouth was seething as he saw Mr. White's bright, smug smirk grow on his face.

another one

mary's lamb

Faye Alexander

Julia Gabriel

× Bleeding Heart

× Writer

The understated charm of a Marlboro man red plaid and pale sneakers Sufferable layers of clothing Unwrapping him like corner shop candy Green jolly rancher – yellow starburst Whichever is worse Tiny folds slipping under the nails Waxy wrappers everywhere Just him now Sweet fine lines and creases – that scream of thick hair Held together with paste and lotions An expression washed over in whites and grey Like a shark All I can smell is dead skin That hole still opens up inside me I like him the way I like my coffee With artificial sweetener

Mary had a little lamb Its fleece was white as snow But what the lamb was kept for Mary did not know.

It’s not meant to be a house pet, Mary’s parents said So in a field the lamb was kept But soon it would be dead.

In a stew or on a stick The lamb would be a meal Ground up, sliced thin or thickly Mary’s trauma wouldn’t heal.

For Christmas morn the feast would come And Mary would not know The turkey she’d been chewing on Was once a lamb named snow.

× Megan Collinson

× Cheryl Swan

THE CAPILANO COURIER

× VOLUME

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× Alain Champagne

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caboose

JEREMY HANLON CABOOSE EDITOR

CABOOSE@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

SHOTGUN REVIEWS: THE OLYMPIC EDITION!

CURLING

BIATHLON

FIGURE SKATING

LUGE

Kevin Kapenda // Writer

Michael Ros // Writer

Paisley Conrad // Writer

Faye Alexander // Opinions Editor

Curling is odd, because it is one Olympic sport that can be played by almost anyone. Curling is a combination of darts, shuffleboard, bowling and bocce, meaning it isn’t really a sport. Sweeping ice is by far the hardest part of curling, so housekeepers and janitors would appear to have an advantage over other sectors in amateur beer leagues. Unlike most sports played on ice, curling does not require any skating. Instead, players just slide around in shoes, like they would on the floors of a bowling alley. Lastly, one thing you will notice if you tune in during the Olympics is that curlers shout a lot, like football quarterbacks under centre. They yell out almost everything but surprisingly do not trash talk, like in most team sports. Players in Canada are taught to not only vocally support their own teammates’ efforts but their opponents’ play as well, a curling tradition that’s a little too Canadian if you ask me. So, no, Richard Sherman, PK Subban and Kanye West, please don’t take up curling.

Biathlon is the winter Olympic sport that combines skiing and rifle shooting – the accepted alternative to skateboarding with a paintball gun. To compete in this sport you must be born with the innate desire to wear rig-equipped spandex in the glacial, biting snow (so, all of us). That said, Biathlon is no joke, and these are lethal rifles loaded with the athlete’s best guess. We can only make assumptions that if one player were to aim at the other, he would gain a considerable lead, and possibly set himself up for a top three finish. Rumour has it this strategy was deployed back in ‘67 when an Italian took aim and fired an entire round at a Korean locked in stance. It was then discovered this was a decoy – as a snowman was found riddled with bullets on the track. In the ensuing moments, the real Korean fired back at the Italian, who was sent sprawling down a steep incline. Rolling out of control for five minutes in a massive snowball, it was an experience the Italian later referred to in a press release as “horrifying” and “what it must feel like to chew 5 gum.”

Everything is better on ice. Whiskey, Captain America, Disney movies. That's why Disney on Ice has been so successful. Nothing beats sassy mermaids and anthropomorphic teacups figure skating around to those classic songs we all know and love.

Skating tours have introduced patrons to a whole new world of performing art. Why stop with Disney though? Why not translate more single movie franchises into figure skating routines? Where is Star Wars on Ice? A child clad in an R2D2 costume complete with light-up skates lutzing away to the “Imperial March” is just what figure skating needs. I personally would love to see a number set to “All Star” by Smashmouth, by a man in a full Shrek prosthetic mask, surrounded by slug-skaters.

The perfect love duet would be one between Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee, complete with heart-wrenching throw jumps and tender lifts, set to “Concerning Hobbits”. Imagine that iconic scene from The Matrix, where Neo dodges the bullet by bending backwards, accompanied by a couple of triple salchows and lutzes. I will not rest until I see Rambo on Ice, dripping with fake blood and smeared dirt, skating for his life, because figure skaters never die... they just sharpen up.

There is something to be said about dating proathletes. Other chicks get busy chasing hockey players, skateboarders and pro-golfers (hello there, Tiger!), but personally, I’ve always had an insatiable appetite for men who luge. Nothing melts my icebox quite like a man zipped tightly into unforgiving spandex. Not to mention watching his svelte swimmer’s bod’ rocketing down a mountain with his sculpted backside clenching two steel skates.

I’ve always been into fucking total lugers. By the time he bolts through the finish line, his adrenaline is pumping, a key ingredient in his gold-medal worthy sexual performance. I don’t know why, but his ability to withstand extreme G-forces practically naked in sub-zero temperatures turns me on.

The only downside is that spending all that time in that taut outfit training and sledding results in a compromised sperm count. It simply means I can be a little looser with my birth-control regimen.

He maintains tremendous focus on the track finding his “sweet spot” honing his subtle movements and weight shifts, and then he comes back to my place to focus on my “sweet spot” with the same vigour. Just writing this has got me hard.

W/ SCOTT MORAES FORD AND BIEBER CANADA DOES HAVE ACTUAL NEWS ORANGE JUICE HOW DO I CRAVE YOU MORE THAN COFFEE? CRAIGSLIST CRAIG, GET SOME STANDARDS

THE WALKING DEAD YOU LOST ME THREE SEASONS AGO WITH THAT HORRIBLE EUPHEMISM SOCHI WHY ELSE WOULD YOU EVER GO THERE? 2018 FIFA WORLD CUP COMING TO SOCHI

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CARBON SINK HELL, JUST UNCLOG IT WITH SOME DRANO

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AIRFARE PRICES AS LONG AS PLANES DON'T FLUCTUATE AS MUCH FISH SAUCE SHOULD NEVER MAKE IT INTO A COCKTAIL CHEMISTRY 235 NOT EVEN WALTER WHITE COULD MAKE THIS FUN

PIZZA PUNKS X COLE PAULS