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NORTH VANCOUVER ×

MARCH 31ST 2014

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Forget Me Nows Understanding the methods behind storing memories CORNER STORY

KITTEN RESCUE

PHELPS FLOPS

BUS RIDE BLUES

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News

A+C

features

opinions

columns

Calendar

CABOOSE

Measles Outbreak

Take A Hike

Raunch Dressing

Seal Of Disapproval

Grumpy Groupie

Exams Cancelled

Theory Of Devolution

Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

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@capcourier

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The Staff

Katherine Gillard News Editor

of this soon to be unemployed university newspaper... Got any leads?

Kristi Alexandra Copy Editor

Andy Rice Arts + Culture Editor

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Therese Guieb Features Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Faye Alexander Opinions Editor

Jeremy Hanlon Caboose Editor

Scott Moraes Managing Editor

Carlo Javier Staff Writer

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Lindsay Howe Marketing + Web Editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

David Young, Christine Janke, Brian Cameron, Paisley Conrad, Layla Domino, Gabriel Scorgie, Keara Farnan, Alva Tee, Amber Bedard, Julia Gabriel, Steve Tornes, Michael Ros

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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@capilanocourier

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CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:

Arin Ringwald, VivianLiu, Jocelyn Wong, Alain Champagne, Cole Pauls, Kristen Wright, Ksenia Kozhevnikova, Danielle Mainman, Chris Dedinsky, Jana Vanduin, CristianFowlie

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

the last one “It's never really the last one, though. When you think about it long enough you've just started something new. ” - Andrew Palmquist It’s not clear whether it’s the bustle of school or the dawn of spring, but things seem to be happening. The dormant days of winter are over and the longer days are upon us. Today, for example, I finished a 2500-word article, wrote six pages of a research paper, sent out about 15 productive e-mails, and had three meetings back to back — all with a wicked red wine hangover. It’s the season of getting shit done.

I’m not the only one vibrating with productivity. Students all over campus are pushing out papers, collaborating on projects and starting to cram for exams. And while the work itself is stressful and annoying, there is a sense of accomplishment at ticking items off the dreaded To-Do list. It’s motivating and inspiring in an odd way. A girl that I went to photojournalism school with would constantly preach that if you want to get something done, ask a busy person to do it, because they will make sure of it. While I thought her constant reciting of that line was particularly annoying at the time, I now see the value in it. I work best when I’m so busy that I feel like my head will fall off. And the only thing that is really suffering from this constant activity is the state of my cat’s litter box.

But this is the last edition of the Courier for this publishing year. It’s odd to just leave something that I have poured myself into over the past nine months. Theoretically, I’ll have more time without having to edit the weekly columns or write a shotgun about the elephant from Sharon, Lois and Bram, but I don’t think I will do anything more valuable with that “saved” time. The hours will depreciate with me searching odd things on the Internet like “Is Beyoncé really drunk in love?” or “Can Bill Maher’s soul be saved?”

I have appreciated everything that the Courier has enabled me to accomplish over the past year. I have gotten to write about things that are interesting, like the importance of a love life, debate on social issues, and getting educated on factors that impact my life. It has given me an outlet to voice my opinion on basically whatever I want to and I understand how privileged and lucky I am to be able to do that. Many people have no outlet or platform to voice what matters to them, and I’m so grateful to have 1000 words each week, along with editorial influence over a paper.

The walls of our Maple office are plastered with issues past. The last four years issues are chronicled in order around our office, and the latest volume predominantly displayed. It has acted like a countdown for how many issues we have left, and it doesn’t seem that long ago that I tacked the first one up there.

Looking at them now, I’m very proud of the content we have created over the volume. There are 23 issues,

Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief

varying in length from 20 to 28 pages — that’s over 500 pages of original content generated on campus.

For me, whose been working towards a career as a journalist and writer for over half a decade, working on the Courier has been an absolute dream.

The culmination of this volume of the Courier is way more bitter than sweet. I’m not sure what I’m going to do on Tuesdays without the calendar to edit and laugh at. And, as mentioned, I don’t know if that extra time will result in greater productivity. I’m best when I’m busy, and I’m just lucky enough that I get to be busy doing something I adore with people I admire. And I’m even luckier that this isn’t a series finale, more just a season ender — like the season four cliffhanger of Breaking Bad. After a few months of planting trees, I will claw my way back to this office, where I get to keep my position as Editor-in-Chief for a final year. It is history in the making for the Courier, as we have never had an editor do more than one year in this position.

I have the walls in the office as a reminder of what I do with my cohorts weekly. And it’s a great thing to look of from the depth of an editorial to see what we accomplish. It’s a breath of fresh air at times when it’s needed, and I think that everyone deserves that — especially students. You may feel like a boss for finishing a 20-page paper on your coffee breaks at work because it’s the only time you can, but it will often go unappreciated. What I’m urging is take the time to appreciate the accomplishments. Be proud of something, however small, because you did it. And be proud of the failures, too — they make for better stories. As our columnist Brian Cameron wrote this week, “ If you spend your life making Lifemoney — experiences, moments in time you’ll remember forever, memories you’ll treasure ‘til the end of your days — then you are truly rich.” Taking the time to realize exactly what you have done will propel you to find what you can do. And really, that could be one of the best things in life.

On behalf of the staff, I can say wholeheartedly that we’ve enjoyed this. More than enjoyed – loved. We hope you’ve enjoyed Volume 47 of the Courier even half of much as we did. Please don’t forget about us, because we won’t soon forget about you. Until next year…

tweets from their seats

THE VOICE BOX

God @TheTweetOfGod Wherever the plane is, it took the last shred of CNN's credibility with it.

with: Scott Moraes

“Hey bean a wile wat a mest up month wy did the big cheez in the sky put a gull blatter in us was teez to latter on say you cant injoey cheez latter on down the fucking rode in life (OMG) did I say that out lowd cull stone's kidny ston's wat happin's when you just Get stond all that go's up in smoke and drink the boooze ;)” Whoever you are, with your elaborate James Joyce-ian text-rap at 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday, I hate you. I hope you get “kidny ston's” and I'll just stay home and “injoey my cheez.” I love cheese.

Nice. That's what politics should be all about. #hilary2016 “I noticed your office is close to the dumpster. Is that why refer to it as the Courier dumpster. Is it going to smell bad in the summer? What happens in the office through the summer?”

“Someone tell all of the campaigners that they won't get votes with their hormones.”

You tell them. I don't wanna talk to them. If you let them talk, they'll make your head spin. Tell them what I tell them: “I'm not a student, leave me alone.” Even if it's a lie. Some lies are meant for salvation.

“What do you guys think of Shailene Woodley from 'Divergent'?”

Weird question. I had to look her up. But boy, she's cute! I don't know what else to tell you without getting myself in trouble with the lady.

Not much happens in the summer. Hopefully someone will

Katie Martin @Katie1300 I just saw a guy decked out in Vineyard Vines with a "I'm ready for Hillary 2016" sticker on his computer. IS THIS A DREAM?!? #MarryMe Kristi Alexandra @kristialexandra Today, my life is very Office Space. Mmkay. And I'm definitely not coming in on Saturday.

Netw3rk @netw3rk I think what's really holding Google Glass back is how it's impossible to look cool masturbating in public while wearing it.

Michael Spencer @MikeSpencer21 These 9 year olds are talking about their flappy bird high scores. Do these kids have smart phones?

Capilano University @CapilanoU So proud of #CapilanoU alumnus @RattanBagga for making the @bcbusiness #30under30!

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The Voicebox is back, ready to humbly respond to your questions, concerns, and comments about anything. To inquire, just send a text to 778 - 689 - 4642 to anonymously "express" and "voice" your "opinion" and "thoughts" on any "subject" or "issue". And, as long as it's not offensive, we will publish it here, right in the Voicebox. It's a win - win, or whine - whine - whatever way you look at it.

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Katherine Gillard @KatGillard Drama in the cafeteria erehday #tooscaredtogetabagel

THE CAPILANO COURIER

“Voted for the CFS cuz that volunteer in the cafe is a hottie.”

pop in and out from time to time and aerate the office a bit.

The couches are old as fuck, but really, the office smells good.

It smells like Carlo's hair products, with overtones of pizza and butter chicken, with a hint of Lindsay Howe's tomato bisque (she pronounces it bis-kay) in the background.

Chris Jones @MySecondEmpire Sorry to hear about Chris and Gwyneth's parting, but you name a kid Moses, you're kind of asking for it.

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NEWS

KATHERINE GILLARD NEWS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

that kitty is mine DO IT FUR THE CATS Carlo Javier × Staff Writer As its name suggests, the Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association (VOKRA) is an organization dedicated to the well-being of cats. The charity was created with the goal of rescuing, rehabilitating and re-homing stray and unwanted cats in the Lower Mainland.

Two Capilano University students, Marion Young and Hannah MacWilliam, both in their fourth year of the communications program, are working with VOKRA with the goals of raising awareness about the charity.

The organization offers a foster program that seeks safe homes, provides intensive care and also education on cat guardianship.

“VOKRA goes in and picks [the cats] up, brings

them to their intake centre and before they can get them adopted, they make sure that the cat is healthy and ready to go into a home,” explains Young. “The foster program is free, they give you the food, they give you the resources and some education, and they have a basic profile on the cat as well as some tips.”

MacWilliam, a foster parent herself, compares the process to a halfway home. “I’m a foster parent for kittens that don’t have a home and need to be either socialized, or looked after until someone can actually adopt them.”

The no-kill, non-profit charity started in 2000 and has experienced consistent growth since then.

In 2008, VOKRA rescued over 800 kittens. Last year, VOKRA more than doubled this number with 1,845.

One of the biggest messages that VOKRA is trying to convey is the idea of “new age adop-

tion.” The charity aims to gain more foster parents through the power of social media. “The whole thing inevitably, with the people who do foster the cats, is that they will take enough pictures that they’ll create enough publicity,” begins MacWilliam. “We have such a social media literacy that we understand that by taking pictures, by sharing the photos on Facebook that they need homes, then more cats can find new homes.”

Another one of VOKRA’s main goals is to end the killing of cats that are homeless or considered unadoptable due to their nature. Stray cats that have failed to adapt in new environments have often been subject to euthanasia instead, and VOKRA aims to stop this unjustified act. Unlike the British Columbia Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (BC SPCA), VOKRA works on helping a cat adapt to a new environment, as opposed to putting it down.

A factor to the charity’s appeal to students is the extensive support that they offer.

VOKRA provides a foster program that allows people to adopt a stray cat, without having to fully commit to all the responsibilities of living with one.

“It’s awesome for students because they don’t have to commit to a kitten,” Young begins.

“With this foster program, I can take care of a cat while I’m in school, [it can] hang out with me while I study, keep me company and I also get to help out an awesome organization that does all their work for no cost.”

Recently, the organization expanded to a more stable location after previously working in volunteers’ basements. With a new state of the art intake centre near the Railtown area, VOKRA aims to further expand its cat-rescuing, rehabilitating and re-homing mission.

Canada Job Grant coming to b.c.

JOB TRAINING COULD BECOME MORE AFFORDABLE Gabriel Scorgie × Writer

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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A growing concern in Canada over the last few years is that by the time students graduate, their training won’t help them set up a career in the new job market. This is why it was announced last week that B.C. has now become the latest province to sign a framework deal with the federal government regarding the Canada Job Grant. Shirley Bond, the province’s minister of jobs, tourism and skills, in an interview with Maclean’s said, “The Grant will provide $15,000 in funding for students to be trained in work areas such as the liquefied natural gas industry and the broad resource centre.” In the agreement, the government will take on $10,000 of the grant, leaving employers to pay for the remaining $5,000.

Because the deal hasn’t officially been agreed upon, exact details such as the cost for each province and which companies will be paying the remaining $5,000 have not been settled. “B.C. has not yet finalized a deal with the federal government on the Canada Job Grant,” says Olivia Cheung, commu-

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nications officer for the B.C. Liberal government caucus. “Over the next few weeks, we will be working out the details of a final agreement through our bilateral negotiations with Federal Minister Jason Kenney, with the goal of having a final deal in place for B.C.” Until the deal is finalized and in place, the specifics remain unknown. Cheung says that they hope to be able to release more details on the new grant over the next few weeks.

The effect that this Grant will have on Capilano University and its students is still up in the air.

“It’s hard to know what will happen right now, the government hasn't given us a lot to work with at this point,” says Richard Gale, vice president, academic and provost at CapU. “We will be looking at opportunities to make the grant work with the new academic plan.”

Once the grant has been signed, it is up to the province and their Ministry of Education to decide which schools will receive the grants and funding.

Gale says that he is hopeful that CapU and its students will be seeing the benefits of this grant in the coming years.

This isn’t the first time that the Canada Job

Grant has been proposed by the government. Last year, all the provinces and territories refused the proposal when it was the centrepiece of the 2013 federal budget. “The plan called for providing $15,000 for each eligible worker, with the cost divided equally among Ottawa, the provinces and employers.” Maclean’s reported “they dropped their opposition last month after Ottawa agreed to a number of changes, including covering the provincial portion of the grant.” There will also be a review period done by the provinces in the first two years which will allow them to make changes to ensure the program is still effective. Ontario became the first province to agree to the modified Job Grant program last month.

Right now, every province and territory, with the exception of Quebec, has reached an agreement in principle with the government over the Job Grant. However, B.C. and Ontario are the only two provinces to have signed any kind of deal.

"Though not perfect, this represents an improvement from the original offer from the federal government," an anonymous source involved with the job grant negotiation told CBC news. A Quebec representative also said that they will continue to

negotiate directly with Kenney over an option to opt-out with full compensation, though a deal is expected to be reached with them soon.

Concerns still remain for a few people, however. CBC reported that Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall is concerned that businesses in his province wouldn’t be able to use it, saying that, “in our economy, where we have basically full employment… we need basic skills, we need to make sure we are providing training for the vulnerable."

Others are concerned that this new grant will be a bad investment of taxpayers’ money that could be better spent elsewhere.

Although the content of the deal is still largely unknown, it hasn’t stopped people from debating the positives and negatives of what have been confirmed. It will take some time before people see the effects of the new grants. Provinces have until July 1 to put the grant in place, and an additional three months to get the program started. The hope is that it will provide people an opportunity to get an affordable education in an industry they can find work in.

Prairie Home will be played in the Bosa Theatre.

Rae Spoon, a Canadian singer/songwriter that is the focus of the film My Prairie Home, talks about Spoon’s religious upbringing in Alberta, family relationships and small town life as a transgender artist.

“I'm just really excited we are having a local film with someone to engage with students — we are also are showing two student films, and I love

that we are able to give them this opportunity to showcase their films,” Kinsley adds.

The festival will be running from April 1 to 4.

More information about the Queer Collective can be found at Facebook.com/capilanoqc

what's new in the csu SECOND QUEER FILM FEST ON CAMPUS Katherine Gillard × News Editor Following the Spring Fling, the Queer Collective is jumping right on to their next event – the Queer Film Festival at CapU. This year, the Queer Collective is putting on their second annual film fest – right in time for Vancouver’s Queer Film Festival. Providing food and films, the event is set up to be a good time.

“Last year was our first. We were figuring a lot out. This year we are doing 4 films and having a Canadian film, My Prairie Home and a Q&A with Rae Spoon, who the film is based on,” says Jon Kinsley, the Queer Student Liaison at CapU. The first two films – Birdcage and Transamerica will be played in the CSU’s Library Lounge, and the last two – I Love You Phillip Morris and My

news

Metro Vancouver Measles Scare THE VIRUS, THE OUTBREAK AND HOW TO PREVENT IT Julia Gabriel × Writer

× Chris Dedinsky

Resurfacing with a vengeance towards the unvaccinated, the measles have made a comeback in British Columbia. A staggering number of Metro Vancouver residents have been neglecting their immunizations, causing the second coming of this nearly eradicated virus in the Fraser Valley. With over 180 reported cases of the disease, Fraser Health authorities are warning parents and students that the measles are spreading quickly and it needs to be taken seriously.

The first reported outbreak began at a Christian elementary school in Chilliwack, B.C. Quickly spreading to other members of the religious community, vaccinations immediately became available to cities in Fraser East such as Agassiz, Mission and Abbotsford. Despite Fraser Health’s attempts to contain the outbreak, the measles continued infecting the large number of children who had not yet been immunized.

Free vaccinations for the virus have been made available in schools and to young children, becoming so successful that the measles became almost non-existent in Canada. Yet recently, less and less

children are being immunized against the potentially deadly illness.

"We respect the beliefs of religious groups and we understand they're not going to get vaccinated because of their belief system," said Chief Medical Health officer Dr. Paul Van Buynder in an interview with CBC. "This is the second outbreak in two years in Fraser East,” he continued. “People need to understand that these are nasty diseases and they're coming back to Canada if they don't vaccinate their children."

Clusters of contagion have been appearing closer to home by infecting students at BCIT’s Burnaby Campus. Students and staff who have not been immunized and attended classes in the NE1 building the past week are being advised to avoid coming to campus via e-mail in an attempt to control the outbreak. Fraser Health, in conjunction with BCIT, has made allowances for those who were born before 1970, have had measles in the past, or have had two documented doses of vaccinations to return to school by Monday, March 31 at the earliest.

Fraser Health is advising people who may have the measles to stay home and isolate themselves from the general public. In order to prevent further spreading the airborne illness, authorities are also warning measles carriers to stay away from hospitals and clinics, where the virus could potentially spread faster. If a medical visit is necessary, Dr. Van Buynder suggests calling clinics beforehand to advise them of the potential risk of your visit. It has been made clear to Fraser Valley residents that though the measles can be dangerous, they can be easily prevented and cleared upon proper care and vaccination. The most important factor is to stop the measles from spreading by staying away from at-risk children and elderly.

Symptoms of the measles are, at first, similar to that of a common cold.

“Some symptoms you may have include runny nose, fever, malaise, red eyes and irritability,” advises Amber Gabriel, RN continuing care nurse for Fraser Health. Though resembling something common, the second stage of the virus is much easier to identify. Small white dots may start to

appear around the mouth and throat, and a dark red rash will begin to develop. Usually starting on the neck and face, the rash has potential to spread down the entire body and lasts anywhere from four to seven days. With the entirety of the virus lasting about two weeks, only children under the age of five or the elderly and very ill need to worry about contracting it as they are at the highest risk. “If people are concerned, they should contact their local health unit regarding immunization,” suggests Gabriel. “They can also contact their general practitioner regarding their immunization status or need for blood work.”

A virus such as the measles can be spread easily by coughing, sneezing and even breathing. Appearing as late as 21 days after exposure, stopping the measles from spreading can be a difficult task.

“The best prevention is to maintain your current immunization status,” Gabriel says. “Those who are concerned about their immunization status can look online for the local health authorities around them for clinic times and locations.”

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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arts + Culture

the courier's guide to the great outdoors A LOOK AT B.C.'S BEST HIKING TERRAIN Carlo Javier × Staff Writer Spring is here, which means summer is almost here, which means the sun might eventually show up, too. One of the most underrated ways to celebrate the sun is the simple act of being outside, whether it’s for a walk in the park, a bike ride or to spend some time at the beach. In fact, anything that doesn’t involve facing an electronic screen is a pretty good qualifier. North Vancouver is home to some of British Columbia’s best natural terrain, and it should come as a no surprise that Capilano University is a haven for hikers and many other proponents of the outdoors. Even the school itself has its own hike. The daily grind from the Birch Cafeteria to the Maple Building is quite the workout, and the five-storey staircase in Fir is also rather notorious.

For Frederikke Johansen, a second year Communications student, her love for hiking began upon arrival in Canada, and seeing the vastly different landscape it had from her home country of Denmark. “Coming from Denmark where there are no mountains and everything is flat, compared to Canada where there are huge mountains, I was immediately amazed,” she begins. “My parents also love hiking and would bring my family on hiking trips all the time. I moved here when I was nine so I have pretty much grown up with it and experienced some amazing trails. My parents were probably my biggest influence into the world of

hiking but now I often hike with my friends.”

Although hiking may seem like a simple activity that anyone can do, prospective hikers, both leisurely and competitive, should always take the time to prepare themselves accordingly. Otherwise, their first hike could also be their last hike. “Wear the right shoes,” advises Johansen. “I see people wearing the worst shoes while on hikes and it will only lead to a bad hike. Bring water — you will get tired, hiking is hard work — and make sure to take lots of breaks and admire the view,” she adds.

VANCOUVER ISLAND Nearly every corner of B.C. has its own great hiking destination. Hundreds of trails can be found around the province, and they’re not likely to run out anytime soon. Strathcona Provincial Park on Vancouver Island is not only one of the most famous, but it’s also the oldest provincial park in Canada. The park is home to the Elk River Mountain — the highest peak of Vancouver Island, and the area also offers trails for varying skills of hikers.

It’s versatile terrain that is suitable for both leisure hikers and serious mountain climbers.

B.C. KOOTENAYS Located in the Selkirk Mountains of B.C.’s Kootenay region is the aptly named Kokanee Glacier Park. This destination offers over 85 km of hiking trails, as well as a scenic view that includes waterfalls, lakes and, as the name suggests, glaciers. Un-

fortunately for many hiking enthusiasts, contrary to popular belief, the Kokanee Glacier Park does not hold mines of ice-cold Kokanee beers within its trails. The brewery that makes them is located nearby in Creston, though.

SQUAMISH One of the more popular trails in all of B.C. is the Stawamus Chief Provincial Park near Squamish. Colloquially known as “The Chief ”, this trail covers 700 metres of cliffs from Vancouver to Whistler. The Chief has three main peaks that offer premier views of Howe Sound and everything else the eye can see.

NORTH SHORE

that her ultimate favourite trail is the Whyte Lake Trail in West Vancouver. The short hike starts at the Horseshoe Bay entrance and proceeds to the Baden Powell Trail. “It’s not too long of a hike,” she says.

“It’s about an hour and you end up at the most peaceful little lake. It looks like it’s straight out of a movie; it’s the perfect hike in the summer time.”

There are many other reasons that support hiking besides the view as well. It’s healthy, it’s usually free and it’s also a great way to experience B.C. in the company of a friend or relative. That doesn’t mean that everyone is into getting all tired and sweaty, however. And if that’s the case then there’s another outdoor trail in Vancouver that might be more appealing. How about the “hike” from Pacific Centre up to Robson Street, shopping bags in hand?

Now we’re talking.

Of course, not to be forgotten is the Grouse Grind at Grouse Mountain. Although the grind provides a seemingly puny 2.9 km of hiking, this trail is a steep terrain that rises to an elevation of 2,800 feet.

Over 100,000 people hike the Grouse Grind annually, and many do it competitively. The current record holder for completion is Sebastian Salas, who finished the grind in 23 minutes and 48 seconds in 2010.

“I have a few favourite trails,” shares Johansen.

“One is the Chief in Squamish. It is breath-taking when you reach the view at the top of the mountain. My second favourite one is Elfin Lake. This is a long hike, walking through swamps and small lakes, really fun for a full-day trip.” Johansen reveres

× Cheryl Swan

hey, i heard you were a wild one REDISCOVERING OUR WORLD AND REWILDING IT FOR THE BETTER Alva Tee × Wrtier

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GETTING WILD AT THE MOV Curator’s Talk & Tour: Rewilding Vancouver with J.B. MacKinnon – April 3:

A public screening and dialogue featuring the premiere of 15 short videos by the students of Emily Carr University of Art + Design. The films take viewers on a trip to discover Vancouver’s range of wild locales and sites, and to help them understand their day-to-day impact on the environment.

A roaring dance party with the staff of the MOV and a cast of wild characters. Attendees will even get transformed into a species of fauna by expert face painting artists.

Forage: Local Species Stroll – June 8:

A stroll through the MOV and the surrounding neighborhood to discover the nutritional and medicinal plants all around, while also learning about what, where, and how certain species are present in our local urban environment.

Family Exploration Day: Hands-On with Rewilding Vancouver - July 13:

Tackle the mysteries of the local food chain, ecosystems, and look into questions about what belongs in a wild urban environment through puzzles, art activities and storytelling.

Curator’s Talk and Tour: Rewilding Vancouver with Viviane Gosselin – August 7:

Dive into the details of the exhibition’s striking roster of artifacts and design with the MOV’s Curator of Contemporary Issues, Viviane Gosselin.

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Reflections on Rewilding, Change, and City Life – April 7:

Where the Wild Things Are – April 26:

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An intimate talk and tour with Rewilding Vancouver curator J.B. MacKinnon about the exhibition and some of the ideas that inspired it.

J.B. MacKinnon shares his insights on how nature used to be and how he believes it could be again.

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world around us and think this is how it always was,” says MacKinnon. “It might be changed a little bit or something is missing, but we think it is pretty much as it always was, when often it has transformed much more radically than we think.”

He gives an example regarding the hundreds of humpback whales that once lived in the waters of Vancouver 150 years ago. “If you look at the ocean and you don’t know it was ever full of humpback whales, then the absence of the humpback whales will seem totally normal to you,” he notes. “But as soon as you do know there used to be hundreds of resident humpback whales in the area, then you do think that is abnormal, and then you start to think ‘Hey, it’s abnormal — maybe we should do something about that.’”

The change in population doesn’t just stop with the whales. It involves other animals such as grizzly bears, elk and condors as well. MacKinnon hopes that bringing the ideas of his book alive to this exhibit will educate people about history and get them thinking about how to “rewild” the world around them. As the exhibit features ideas for local places well-known to Vancouverites, such as the Light-

From Restoring to Rewilding: Exploring The Once and Future World with J.B MacKinnon – April 11:

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Vancouver is very well known for its beautiful landscape and picture-perfect views. As urbanized as the city has become, our connection to the mountains, rainforests, oceans and the natural habitats of animals remains very well intact. However, the fact that the environment has changed because of human existence is undeniable.

Rewilding Vancouver is the current exhibit at the Museum of Vancouver (MOV) that aims to educate on how the city’s nature was, is and could be. With a variety of taxidermy specimens, 3D models, soundscapes and digital media, visitors will learn about the evolution of many different animals and what the future holds for them. Rewilding Vancouver is Canada’s first major exhibition that investigates nature’s relationship with society through historical ecology.

It opened on Feb. 27 and will run until Sept 1.

J.B. MacKinnon, co-curator of the exhibit, defines the term “rewilding” as “the idea of taking a place that has lost some of its wildness and bringing that back again.” During a talk at the MOV on April 4, he will be expanding on why this is exactly what he is hoping to inspire with the exhibition.

MacKinnon’s book, The Once and Future World, delves into the ecological history of the natural environment and why it exists in the way that it does today. In it, he writes that we can learn from the results of past actions, and make today’s world better by peacefully co-existing with the environment and the organisms within it in the best ways possible.

“We have this tendency to look at the natural

house Park and the Convention Centre, he hopes that the rewilding can start there. “We can definitely rewild the city of Vancouver,” MacKinnon states, “and we’re seeing some of that happening. Last year, there was the work that people did to cover up the creosote pilings in False Creek, and the herring have come back to spawn on them almost instantly.”

Hopeful for the actions of current and future generations, MacKinnon believes that all who visit the exhibit will leave having learned something they did not know before. He values the ability to be aware of how humans shape nature and how it shapes them. Interweaving nature and culture is of great importance to him, and learning the balance between the two may just be MacKinnon’s greatest hope for our planet.

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art shorts

KRISTI ALEXANDRA ART SHORTS EDITOR

COPY@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Chelsea Hotel FIREHALL ARTS CENTRE, MARCH 20 Kristi Alexandra × Copy Editor Leonard Cohen’s music can be hard to perform, even, at times, if you’re the noted Canadian songwriter himself — but the Quebec-born singer/ poet/author came to life in Chelsea Hotel, the musical drama that kicked off at the Firehall Arts Centre last week. The opening scene saw “the writer”, played by Kayvon Kelly, in a hotel room ripping out pieces of paper from his notebook, struggling with writer’s block, and rehearsing the classic Cohen line, “It’s written on the walls of this hotel, you go to heaven once you’ve been through hell.” Once the writer breaks through the block, the paper props get stripped away from the room and the entire performing cast — some of whom later show up to play noted characters in Cohen’s discography — comes together to rehearse the iconic songbird’s tunes. “Everybody Knows” sets the tone for the incredibly in-tune cast of actors,

each wowing audience members with their individual musical talents. Lauren Bowler captured the crowd’s attention as she acted out the incredibly moving “Suzanne” – a tune that once gained Cohen and the real-life Suzanne lots of unwelcome attention. At times, however, the vocal performances left more to be desired as was sometimes the case with the Beautiful Losers author himself. Actress Rachel Aberle undoubtedly had the best voice for the likeness of a feminine Cohen, with all its rasp and growl showing its glory in “Take This Waltz”.

Aberle continued on in the entire performance as Chelsea Hotel’s unsung hero, while co-star Marlene Ginader commanded audience attention for her on-point dancing, soulful vocals and wicked violin skills in “Joan of Arc”. Famous Cohen favourites “Famous Blue Raincoat” and ending note “Hallelujah” weren’t as well executed as a Cohen fan would have liked, but all in all, Chelsea Hotel’s talented cast paid homage to one of Canada’s greatest living songwriters — and everyone in attendance seemed to be delighted.

Bad Words

FILM REVIEW Faye Alexander × Opinions Editor

The Bone Season BOOK REVIEW

Sarah O'Connor

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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VOLUME

47 ISSUE N O . 23

× the Silhouette, McMasters University

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HAMILTON (CUP) — I was unsure whether I would like The Bone Season or not. Shannon has often been tagged as the next J.K. Rowling, a claim that made me skeptical. Not many people can inspire an entire generation and truly change the world with a new pop culture phenomenon. Do I think Shannon is the next J.K. Rowling? No. Did I like The Bone Season? No. I love it. At least, I loved most of it, but we’ll get to that later. The year is 2059 and many major world cities are under control of a security force known as Scion. This repressive government seeks to eliminate clairvoyants, people with special power and abilities, from society. There are many different types of clairvoyants, but Paige Mahoney is one of the most rare, a dreamwalker. As a dreamwalker, Paige is able to momentarily escape her dreamscape and go into others, where she is able to hurt and kill enemies.

Proud of her clairvoyant heritage, Paige chooses to rebel and works in the criminal underworld of Scion dominated London, with a group of seven other rare clairvoyants, the Seven Seals. One day, things go wrong and Paige is caught by Scion and imprisoned in Oxford for the 20th Bone Season, during which clairvoyants are kidnapped. Now Paige is a slave, trying desperately to find a way out of Oxford and save the hundreds of other trapped clairvoyants. Shannon has great talent for creating such a high fantasy/science fiction world.

Paige and many of the side and passing characters were well-rounded, and I adored the setting.

While it was a bit difficult to understand the history at some points, I feel that is a problem with most high fantasy narratives. This is, after all, the

first book in a series of seven books, so there is still more time for Shannon’s world to further develop.

Shannon has an amazing writing style; I loved the slang introduced and used in the novel. In many ways it reminded me of A Clockwork Orange. Shannon even includes a handy glossary at the back of the book, something most copies of A Clockwork Orange don’t have (but maybe should). While I did love the book, there were some glaring problems. Does romance have to be present to show a heroine that she is important? Why couldn’t she figure it out on her own? It seems to be a plague on heroines. The fact that Paige was so oblivious to what was going to happen made me want to reach into the book and shake her. She had her fortune read, which basically told her who she would fall in love with and what was going to happen the rest of the book. And yet Paige was still clueless and shocked when everything happened as predicted.

The fact that Paige’s love interest is an immortal hunky bad boy also made me cringe. It seems a trope of the genre, including Twilight, Beautiful Creatures, Shiver and Fallen. It just gets exhausting. It would be nice to read a novel where the hunky immortal bad boy is replaced by a gawky, goofy nerd — or really any other variety of person interest that can exist. Even so, I enjoyed Paige as a character. And even though he’s kind of an ass, I liked Paige’s boss Jaxon a lot. He was the perfect blend of sarcastic and jerky. I think my favourite character was Liss, the card reader, and found it unfortunate she wasn’t in the book more.

Overall, The Bone Season really exceeded my expectations. I loved the first book, but I am nervous about the series. But if this ends up being a seven book romance series, count me out.

Guy Trilby is kind of a dick — he’s stubborn, he’s got a dirty mouth, and he doesn’t care about pissing people off. Bad Words revolves around the mysterious Trilby who has set out to compete in the Golden Quill Spelling Bee, the nationally televised PBS special that is well-respected institution celebrated by wordy premature ivy-leaguers. Without more than a hunch on why Trilby is dead-set on his journey of revenge and humiliation, his smartmouth burns and contestant sabotages are cringeworthy. Whether he is tricking a tween girl into thinking she got her first period with ketchup or comparing a mom’s vagina to a blown-out tube sock — these are Bad Words’ golden moments.

Competing against kids with a total disregard for their feelings and a dubious lack of shame may

not be a perfect recipe for a protagonist one can get behind — but that doesn’t mean it’s not funny.

With crude being at the top of this movie’s laughfactor, it wouldn’t have been endearing without a breakout performance by Rohan Chand, who plays Trilby unlikely friend Chaitanya Chopra, a 10-year-old boy with the largest shiniest eyes you’ll ever see. He is probably the cutest kid on the planet. He adds a touch of warmth to Trilby who is so unlikeable, without Chopra he’d just be an asshole. Something about watching a pre-pubescent boy checking out his first set of boobs was both uncomfortable but also was one of the warmest and fuzziest moments of the film. Bateman isn’t always a winner in films (remember Extract?) but you just want to like him anyway. I mean, he’s Michael Bluth.

thus owls

TURNING ROCKS

Andy Rice × Arts + Culture Editor Thus Owls is husband and wife duo Erika and Simon Angell. Their fourth LP, Turning Rocks, is set for an April 8 release date on Secret City Records. The album was lyrically inspired in Sweden and sonically created in Montreal, where the two now make their home. Opening beautifully with “As Long As We Try A Little”, Erika’s layered vocals and precise vibrato draw instant ties to Joni Mitchell on Court and Spark, if not a bit sweeter in tone. In fact, many Joni-isms are used to great effect throughout the record while sounding fresh and unique Erika’s capable hands. “How, In My Bones” is a catchy chaser for an outstanding first track. Bearing a voice with the emotion and finesse of an entire orchestra, Erika can be lilting and fragile at one moment, then powerful and demanding at another. Her great instrument is clearly the star of the show, although the buoyant bass lines of Martin Höper are an undeniable contribution.

A variety of vintage organs and keyboards begin to make an appearance as the track list unfolds,

albeit with a few modern effects added. Sounding experimental and even overzealous at times, they mask some of the clarity within the songs.

For those craving a bit of indie grunge-factor, they will be a welcome addition, although perhaps un-necessary in the extent to which they are used. Turning Rocks, is book-ended by two slower songs that greatly contrast the first two. “Could I But Dream That Dream Once More” starts off slow and sparse, building gradually into a floating wash of vocals. Compositionally simple, it could easily be a ukelele song, but instead combines a scratchy texture that sounds like a hybrid of hammer dulcimer and a washboard. “Thief ” is simple and pedantic as well, bringing deeper male vocals into the mix and ending with an ambient flurry of synths, guitar, and drum fills. As the last few seconds die out, you’re suddenly left wondering where Erika’s voice has gone and when it will return. Perhaps this is a missed opportunity to give her the last word on a record she carries primarily on her shoulders, or maybe it’s just a clever trick to bring you back for more.

FEATURES

THERESE GUIEB FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

the rise of raunch THE NEW FEMINISM OR THE SAME OLD OBJECTIFICATION? Amber Bedard × Writer

" Feminism has changed through the course of time.

Each wave has had different motives, all cloaked under the ongoing fight for equality. "

Raunch culture is defined as a culture promoting overtly sexual representations of women in mainstream society, and it is often labeled under the guise of female empowerment. This culture is encouraged through the acceptance of pornography, highly-sexualized dance, stripping and nudity in advertising.

The entire idea is to create an inclusive sexual paradigm of women, unlike the oppressive or restrictive representations of the past. Raunch culture seeks to reclaim the female body, and does so through uncensored sexualization — expression that has had negative stigma or taboo associated with it.

Critics of raunch often brand it as a culture that not only objectifies women in a blatant manner, but also encourages women to objectify themselves in the false belief that they are empowering themselves. It is said that through media filtration, the message has been distorted to fit the same old model: a sexual standard defined by men.

× Ksenia Kozhevnikova

WHY THE CONTROVERSY?

WHERE TO START Seekins understands claiming one’s sexuality, and even encourages it. However, she believes that the drawback is when sexuality becomes theatrical or performative, for it can be mistaken as reality. And that can be a dangerous place for society to be complacent with. “Some women think [raunch or sex positivity are empowering], because they’re viewing themselves as taking control of their own sexuality. However, they are doing it in terms of what has been traditionally defined by men. Any time there is objectification, whether there is men or women, it doesn’t make it okay.” According to her, this kind of objectification is called “equal opportunity objectification.” “Objectification always erodes humanity in a certain sense, and doesn’t allow human beings to reach their full potential…

How does that become productive or empowering?” Seekins argues.

This subject is a mosaic of complexity and continued questioning is pertinent for change. It also opens up a dialogue on a rather grey matter. Perhaps this is the chance to mediate a partitioned society, and that is something many have been searching for a long time.

With that, Seekins does see a positive side to raunch culture. As with anything, pros and cons exist. She believes it encourages communication and opens the door for more critique of the issue.

The key is to be more public about this dialogue.

“Anything that enhances or encourages understanding of the subject is a good thing.”

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To Tammy Morris, pole dancing is nothing more than exercise with a metal bar. Morris is an educated pole dancer of 20 years, and the owner of Tantra Fitness. To her, the only power the pole has is the power you give it.

She believes that pole dancing offers a healthy expression of sexuality. However she is well aware of the pitfalls that are associated with this belief. “There is a lot of controversy in the glorification of sexuality,” she says, but embracing female strength and sensuality in the form of pole dancing is not a negative thing.

she continues to build a supportive and encouraging environment at Tantra Fitness.

VOLUME

Feminism has changed through the course of time.

Each wave has had different motives, all cloaked under the ongoing fight for equality.

Seekins argues that each generation defines feminism differently. Perhaps this is exactly what raunch culture is attempting to do. However, the effort hasn’t

EMPOWERMENT COMES IN MANY FORMS

Morris admits that the culture of pole dancing is highly exploitive, and that she is “not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes.” What her studio and lifestyle do is promote that “it’s okay to be sexual, and it’s okay to [want to feel] sexy.”

“This restraint for women to not be overly sexually can affect someone psychologically in a very negative way. There has to be a middle ground,” she clarifies.

The middle ground is theoretically clear, however in practice, it may not be so straightforward.

She states that there is a clear difference between pole dancing and stripping. Pole dance is a form of expression, of exercise, while stripping is the appeasement of seduction for men.

Morris claims that she would never suggest pornography or stripping, or even serving as a waitress in entertainment bars. She is adamant that the industry can be a terrible place unless you have other pursuable interests outside of the industry.

It’s interesting to note that Morris does not classify herself as a feminist, contrary to her stance on the status of women. Although her ideals fit the mold of feminism, that being a more liberal approach, Morris is adamant that she is not associated with the movement. She would rather be defined quite simply as a woman, and a woman alone.

“If I have to equate empowerment with pole dancing, the empowerment comes from learning these tricks that you never thought you would achieve.” Morris states that empowerment doesn’t come from clothing or wearing stilettos. It comes from the confidence achieved through the expression of pole dancing.

“A lot of the negative [press] comes from ignorance, and a lack of knowledge,” she says. In order to eradicate the taboo of pole dancing, Morris suggests that the easiest step would be to take a pole dancing class, or to watch a performance. Women of all shapes and sizes participate in her classes as

×

THE FEMINISM AND SOCIETAL SCHISMS

been as seamless as many had hoped it would be.

The reality of the situation is that division encompasses both the interior and exterior landscapes that otherwise would further sex-positivity and raunch culture. After all, they both exist under the larger umbrella of feminism.

Raunch culture enthusiasts and sex positivists alike, often those who make and view porn for example, exist in a perpetual divide with the industry. It is clear that pornography, exotic dancing and sex-saturated media are heavily steeped with gender stereotypes. Encouraging these activities perpetuates the same, oppressive cycle. It is because of this that both factions have been criticized as “fauxminists” — people who give falsehood to the name of feminism.

This rift, a lack of intersectional thinking within feminism, also transcends into the wider schism of society. What is the difference between “empowered” sex work, and gender-specific objectification and disrespect? All activities, be it pornography, pole dancing or experimenting in sex-saturated media have perpetuated an unrealistic sexual standard — so how does subsequently “reclaiming” them absolve previous problems?

THE CAPILANO COURIER

The rise of raunch has created a fury of criticism, by self-identified feminists and the like, often blaming the media for perpetuating an unhealthy view of women and sexuality.

Sandra Seekins, women and gender studies professor at Capilano University says that raunch culture is simply a spectacle of overt sexuality as a method of empowerment. It is normalizing an unrealistic standard. “This is a flawed approach because it doesn’t value other types of contributions that women make, in terms of intellectual, social or political [contributions].”

Seekins believes that there is a clear difference between raunch culture and sex positivity. Sex positivity means to challenge the context of sexual interaction under a patriarchy, and to promote a balanced, healthy view of sexuality in all its forms.

“It’s really important to not be ashamed of sexuality and not to be afraid of seeking your own pleasure, of being sexual and getting away from all the other stereotypes that shame sex…. Sex positivity defines one area of your life, but not your whole life.”

In this explanation, the difference is found in how much precedence sex and the sex-derived roles influence our identity. This leads to the question of, “How do we differentiate between sexpositivity and raunch culture?”

The fact of the matter is that there is no clear explanation. This is a complex subject, and clarity is often convoluted in various explanations and theories.

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FEATURES

THERESE GUIEB FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

Remember When...

How we retain & forget moments

× Kristen Wright

Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief

D

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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VOLUME

47 ISSUE N O . 23

Do you remember what you ate for breakfast last Wednesday? How about the last movie you saw?

While some details stand out from the rest, many of our memories are a blur. Memory is a subject that has been clouded in a veil of mystery, much like any study to do with the human brain. There are multiple theories on how memories are created and stored. According to some research, our capacity for remembering is like a container, and when it gets too full, we have to forget certain details to make room for others. Others believe memories aren’t stored in a specific spot in the brain, and we recall things by actively remembering, just like how we actively think or speak. But there are a number of factors that contribute to how we actually remember things, and why some memories seem more distant than others.

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AGING MATTERS “In the normal course of aging, one aspect of memory declines, and that aspect which declines is the one that allows us to retrieve memories, to bring back previous events and experiences in a conscious and deliberate manner,” explains Dr. Peter Graf, a professor at UBC’s department of psychology.

“That’s a conscious, deliberate kind of remembering. But there are many other ways of remembering that do not change with aging. One obvious one, for example the ability to know and understand the meaning of words, is something that increases early in life as we learn more words and it keeps increasing, or at least remains stable, into old age.”

Remembering general knowledge and meanings is called semantic memory, says Dr. Graf, and rarely deteriorates. Naturally, as we get older our senses detoriorate, which have a direct effect on our memories.

“A major reason for why it’s declining, it has to

do with the fact with our sensory abilities, change, decline as we age — our ability to see, our ability to hear, our ability to smell, to taste and so on. And our memory, the quality and the strength of our memories is very much dependent on the impact an event makes on us.”

According to Dr. Graf, how much an event affects us emotionally and on a physiological level makes a difference to the quality of a memory. For example, if someone says hello to you, you may be blasé about it and forget about it soon after the event. However, if someone said hello to you, and you blushed and had a strong emotional reaction, chances are you will remember for a long time after the event. The more unique the experience, the better we are able to remember the details.

“In my class, I make the joke: you have a husband and wife. They have been living together for 20 years, and somebody asks at the office the next day, ‘So what was your wife wearing last night?’, ‘I don’t know, clothes?’” Dr. Graf continues. On a first date, our first experience with a person, we can remember details like the colour of their clothes and what they ordered — or even what they put in their coffee. But the more we experience the same thing, the more our memories blur together.

“At birth we are all born to pay attention to things that are new. And so automatically that is true for everybody at every stage of life. We pay a lot of attention to things that are new, and of course what we pay attention to is remembered. As we get older, we know more and more, and therefore fewer and fewer things are new. And because of that, we don’t remember very well.”

WHAT ABOUT FORGETTING? Along with research about how memory works,

there is research on how to forget. After traumatic experiences, it can be beneficial to the victim to erase the memory and minimize the suffering of the experience. As Dr. Graf explains, because numerous neurotransmitters need to be available for a new memory to form, there may be a short window of time to stop the memory from forming.

“If you go to war, and involved in the military, and involved in some horrible events, if it were possible to get to you within hours of this experience, it would be possible to inject you with drugs that would prevent the formation of new memories.

And then you will have less post-traumatic stress disorder.” Besides drugs, therapy can also offer relief to people suffering from traumatic experiences.

“If you were the victim of sexual assault or physical assault, and you were traumatized by it, in cognitive behavioural therapy, what the therapist does is get you to talk about that same event over and over and over again. And what happens is that initially, the first time you talk about that event, you probably experience that event as if it were happening again. And that’s, of course, hugely traumatic because you will have the same fear reaction, you will start shaking, you will start sweating,” explains Dr. Graf, “and you tell it the second time around, when you are asked to tell in the second time around, you remember two things: you remember the original event, but you also remember the earlier time, the first time you talked about it. If you’re talking about it the 20th time, if you’re telling that same event the 20th time, you now have the original event, and 19 other times you have talked about it. Each time, you have actually a less intense reaction.”

Rob Hadley operates the Vancouver Hypnotherapy Clinic and says that hypnotherapy can work in a similar fashion. “What we are looking

at when we go back into a memory in that situation, we can now reframe that memory, so it’s the re-contextualizing it,” he explains. “We cannot change that it happened, but what we can do is change how you deal with the fact that it happened. Pain you can’t help, it’s going to happen.

Everyone is going to experience a degree of pain in their life. But suffering is what we choose to do with that pain and in the same way, trauma associated with memories is what we are doing with that memory.”

YOU DO REMEMBER YOU DO REMEMBER Hadley works with a variety of memory-related issues including the want to forget details or remember important ones that can be life changing.

“A chap who was hit by a vehicle — I can’t say where it was because I can’t breach confidentiality — but he was hit by a vehicle and he couldn’t remember anything about it. Under hypnosis, he remembered absolutely everything. He remembered the make, the colour, the model and some modifications that were evident — it was a very fancy type of truck. He then reported this to the police, at which point they could look at this investigation, which was already ongoing but with new and further evidence. Not evidence that could be introduced into court, but certainly which could suggest that they would want to look at little closer at the guy who owned that particular vehicle.”

What hypnotherapy can also help with is pinpointing the moment when something valuable was lost and help re-trace the mental steps to find it. “A chap had hidden some gold coins in his house. And he had the house for sale and he realized that he had, in part of the walls, plastered

ON the Cover

Kristen Wright Kristen Wright is an illustrator with a love of neo-traditional tattoos, saucy sea creatures, galactic felines and burlesque bombshells. Find her at SeahorseCarousel.com

"Whether you want to keep memories or stop bad ones from forming, the mind is fragile."

STAR POWER Memory has been highlighted in the media in subtle ways, with movies such as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Most recently Seth Rogen has made public statements, trying to start a conversation about memory-related issues. Rogen’s mother-in-law suffers from Alzheimer’s, and in February, he spoke at Capitol Hill in Washington D.C., imploring U.S. senators to pay more attention to the disease.

“After forgetting who she and her loved ones were, my mother-in-law, a teacher for 35 years then forgot how to speak, dress herself, feed herself and go to the bathroom herself — all by the age of 60,” he confessed. “As you’ve heard, unlike any of the other top 10 causes of death in America, there is no way to prevent cure or even slow the progression of the disease. Another thing I didn’t realize until I was personally affected was the shame and stigma associated with the disease.”

Rogen started a charity to benefit families struggling with Alzheimer’s called Hilarity for Charity that works with education, research and support.

“That’s right, the situation is so dire that it caused a lazy, self-involved, generally self-medicated manchild to start an entire charity organization,” he jested to the room full of politicos.

Rogen highlighted some of the misconceptions of the disease and the stigmas attached to it.

O’Hagan believes that any kind of education and awareness is a good thing, and it doesn’t always have to come from a celebrity.

“There’s definitely room to increase awareness about the disease. There is still a stigma attached to the disease, and I think that can come from not fully understanding what Alzheimer’s disease is, what dementia is, so I think it’s really important to educate the communities about the disease so we can help reduce that stigma. That’s really important in order to create a community that supports people going through these challenges,” says O’Hagan.

Some memories can be traumatic to a person’s psyche, but losing all of them, along with the identities of close family can be devastating. But whether you want to keep memories or stop bad ones from forming, the mind is fragile. With the help of scientific research, prevention steps or hypnotism, understanding memories is slowly becoming less of a mystery.

ample in Canada, there is an estimate that there are over 700,000 people with cognitive impairment, including dementia,” describes O’Hagan. Unfortunately memory loss doesn’t just affect those diagnosed, it affects everyone surrounding them, such as their close friends and family. The Alzheimer’s Society of B.C supports people dealing with any kind of dementia, not just Alzheimer’s itself.

MENTAL PUSH UPS

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"What naturally do deteriorate as we get older are our senses, which have a direct effect on our memories."

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Currently there is not one magic pill for either forgetting traumatic memories to storing all the treasured ones. While there is no foolproof way to ensure immunity against dementia, there are preventive measures that can help.

“There are many different kinds of diseases like Alzheimer’s — 50, 60, 70 different kinds of diseases that lead to dementia, [the] systematic breakdown of our ability to process information, and memory is one of the first things that breaks down,” says Dr. Graf. “There are many different causes as to why that occurs, and again, there is a huge amount of research going on to try to identify Alzheimer’s early on and to try to find a cure for it. We just don’t have one yet.” According to Dr. Graf, drugs that increase adrenaline and alertness can help make more concrete memories.

“If you do anything that wakes up, that increases physiological arousal, that just gets your heart going, and you breathe more deeply, and so on, any event that has that impact — that makes you physiologically more aroused — leads to better memory. In old age, for example, and with diseases like Alzheimer’s, you might be able to produce stronger memories by giving somebody drugs that bring psychological arousal about.”

As people age, good old health and exercise

THE CAPILANO COURIER

in this stash of gold coins. And he had forgotten where he put them. And the house was selling and he only had three or four days before he had to leave the place. He was trying to drill holes in all these walls and couldn’t find where he had put them. Anyway, we put in him a hypnosis and very quickly — what you do is you take them back to the time of the last known moment of where they had the object, and then you slowly step them forward, and sure enough, he saw quite quickly, jumped in a car and drove all the way back down to Portland, got out a hammer and a chisel and found them within an hour,” Hadley details.

Forgetting can be a hindrance for day-to-day activities and can be a sign of a greater problem, such as dementia and other memory-related issues. The most common and well-known type of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease, but there are a multitude of others that fall under the umbrella of dementia.

“Think about dementia as being the word ‘fruit’ and then there is a variety of different types of fruit, just like there is a variety of different types of dementia,” explains Jennifer O’Hagan, the manager of programs at the Alzheimer Society of B.C. “Alzheimer’s disease is just one type of dementia. It is the most common form of dementia, accounting for about 64 per cent of cases in Canada, but then there are other types.” Other types of dementia include vascular dementia, fronto-temporal dementia, and dementia with Lewy bodies. There are also rare types of dementia, such as Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and Huntington’s disease, which can be devastating to those who suffer it. “We know that there are approximately 70,000 people in B.C. who have a diagnosis of dementia.

It includes different types of dementia and there [are] other people who might experience memory loss who aren’t included in that number, so for ex-

has been a friend to preserving memories. “Older people who are more fit, physiologically fit — cardiovascular fitness for example — do have better memories. And if somebody is a total couch potato, it doesn’t make much difference in terms of memories when they are young, but the older they get, the worse their memory is, as a result of being a couch potato,” explains Dr. Graf.

And O’Hagan echoes this sentiment: “There is actually lots of evidence that is building on this about the importance of physical activity. We say that what’s good for the heart is good for the brain. Healthy eating and exercise are important for healthy aging in general and physical activity can actually reduce the chance of cardiovascular disease, which is a risk factor for dementia, so it’s all connected.”

O’Hagan also says keeping the mind active by doing things in new ways can help with prevention of dementia. Daily challenges to the brain, such as learning a new language or finishing a crossword puzzle, keep it active and fresh. There is also some research suggesting that certain diets can help with prevention as well.

“One thing that stands out is a Mediterranean diet and there’s some research showing that that could be a promising way to reduce your risk of dementia but there needs to be more formal clinical trials on that before we understand there is an impact there,” says O’Hagan. In general, the research points to focusing on a healthier lifestyle earlier in life to prevent on the onset of dementia as aging occurs.

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opinions

FAYE ALEXANDER OPINIONS EDITOR

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

HighXrisk and some rewards THE CRIPPLING REALITY OF STUDENT LOAN DEBT Carlo Javier × Staff Writer For years, the title of biggest issue in Canada has been juggled between one field and another. Pipeline debates divided the nation between environmentalists and economists, talks of Quebec separation challenged unity and the Canadian identity, even controversial people for various reasons, namely Rob Ford and Justin Bieber, have been targets of national spotlight. Only recently has the country seemed to purposefully talk about an issue that almost certainly has the potential to be a devastating problem: student loan debt. Whitney Houston once said that the children are the future. Unfortunately for Houston, the children are no longer the future, because the future is now. If the student loan debt problem is not addressed, then generations and generations to follow will suffer.

According to the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) the average cost of student debt in Canada is almost at $28,000. For students in British Columbia, the average rises to about $34,886 — the highest in all provinces across Canada. The total debt for the country stands at approximately $15 billion. However, this number does not take other forms of student loan debt into consideration, another $8 billion accounts for debt through line of credit, credit cards and provincial loans.

Student loans are a near essential part of postsecondary schooling. The problem arises with the fact that even after graduating with a degree, the prospects remain uncertain. The truth is, just because you get a degree doesn’t guarantee you’ll find a career, much less a job.

× contributed Students are ultimately trapped in a financial sinkhole, where not even the once-glorified college degree can prove to be an elixir. In an article published in the Globe And Mail, Gary Mason wrote, “many graduates, stuck in low-paying jobs and barely able to manage their repayment schedules, are delaying big life decisions such as buying a car or house, or even getting married and having kids.” It’s a grim reality, but for many students, the process of achieving that degree also carries a potentially crippling effect with it.

The student loan debt issue is not going by unattended though. B.C.’s debt currently stands at an estimated $1.1 billion. Granted, the province has a surplus but part of that increase in revenue actually stems from an increase in tuition. To add insult to injury, B.C.’s government has set a $17.6 million cut in funding for the 2014/2015 school year. On top of that, the 2015/2016 school year is slated for an even bigger $25 million cut. Yet somehow, despite the unprecedented cuts in education, post-secondary education in B.C. still has further obstacles to face.

The province remains the only one in Canada that doesn’t offer a student grants program. On the average, students in B.C. are paying the most for their education. Yet unbelievably, the hits still keep coming. Among all of Canada, B.C. boasts the highest interest rate on student loans. The current prime rate is at three per cent but B.C. students are also slated to pay an extra 5.5 per cent floating rate. In comparison, students in Newfoundland and Labrador, as well as Prince Edward Island are completely free of such rates. Why? Simply because their provincial governments are following routes some countries such as New Zealand have done — encourage higher education by subsidizing student loans. In turn, students who graduate without as much debt are more capable to freely spend and invest, thus driving the economy.

Yet B.C., “the best place on earth,” continues to tax its students who are already paying the most, simply in terms of tuition. Clearly the provincial government did not listen to the great Whitney Houston.

To continue the streak of grim pessimism, this is a situation where the grass on the other side, is definitely not much greener. Despite the overwhelming student loan debt in Canada, it’s still a miniscule issue when compared to a country that has developed such massive debt that it’s now affecting their whole economic system: the United States. The U.S. stands with an astounding $1 trillion in student loan debt. The staggering number is only made worse considering that just 10 years ago, the U.S. student loan debt was at an incomparably low $253 billion. (Obviously this number is still astronomical, but it’s puny when compared to a trillion.) There are students in the U.S. who are graduating with a six figure debt, students who are prospective workers and may or may not have

a career set for them are thrown in the fire of debt, burning slowly with hundreds and hundreds of thousands to pay — each and every one of them.

It’s a wonder as to how and why governments in Canada (provincial and federal) have let the student loan debt situation to escalate to a problem as massive as this. It’s a bigger question whether they’ll wait until we get to the catastrophic proportions of the student loan debt problem in the U.S. Let’s hope they don’t. Who knows? Interest rates on student loans alone are costing Canadian students billions. The government actually profits from this debt because they can borrow at cheaper cost than any businesses.

The $15 billion debt is being “paid off” by students trapped in the loan sinkhole and grads that can’t even make enough income to pay their debt in less than 10 years.

It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure that this formula is grossly ineffective.

The only positive to take from this grim reality is that a dialogue is finally gaining momentum. After all, we are the future, or at least we were. It’s only fitting that one of the cultural icons of this generation is Miley Cyrus, because if you’re a student, then there’s always going to be another mountain.

god hates fred FOUNDER OF WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH FINALLY DIES Gabriel Scorgie

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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On March 21, the sun shone a bit brighter, the birds’ songs were cheerier and people generally had a positive outlook. This is because Fred Phelps, the leader and founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, finally died. It had been known for weeks in advance that he was on his death bed — prompting many to speculate if any groups would protest his funeral like he, and many of his followers, did at the funerals of soldiers and homosexuals. It would be both childish and hypocritical to stoop to the level of the Westboro Baptist Church and protest or picket his funeral. However, all the “We forgive you” comments and the donations to the Human Rights Watch in his name are just as bad. He and his church deserve no forgiveness, nor do they need any more attention brought upon them.

The Westboro Baptist Church loves attention.

They seek the spotlight whenever possible and Phelps's funeral will be no different. Phelps was their leader and founder. The entire church was based around his charisma and personality — and without that, it is likely the church will crumble and fall. Members have already started leaving the church and even more have demonstrated a desire to leave. Protesting and picketing his death could give them the attention they need and provide a

× Cristian Fowlie reason for the church to try to move forward. Instead, people should pay them no attention and watch the church fall like the neo-nazi extremist groups, like the National Alliance and Aryan Nations, which saw their demise following the loss of their charismatic leaders.

Like Richard Butler and William Pierce, the leaders of the National Alliance and Aryan Nations, Phelps’ name will also be forgotten by the public conscious. He will go down quietly in history as a special kind of “fuckwit” who people really had to witness first-hand to understand just how delusional he was. YouTube videos will need to be shown as proof to future generations that he existed — be-

cause the things he did and stood for were so unbelievable. If people really want to spite Phelps and the rest of his followers, support his son Nathan. Nathan Phelps, unfortunate son of Phelps, endured his father for 18 years. Once he could legally leave his father’s care, Nathan went to Canada and became an author and LGBT activist. He has also become involved in public speaking regarding religion and child abuse.

Nathan Phelps left the church officially in 1980 and since then has had very little communication with his family or the other members of the church.

He said in an interview with the Calgary Sun that he will not be attending the funeral, but believes a protest would be out of line, saying, “How could I say otherwise, when every time the church did it, I said it was wrong?” He’s right. It would be hypocritical for people to picket the funeral of a man who became so famously hated because of his picketing of funerals. No matter how funny it would be to see an army of transvestites wearing widow’s clothing congregating about his funeral.

In addition to not giving them the satisfaction of a picket — if people are going to donate to the Human Rights Watch, they should not do so ironically or sarcastically. Donations should be reserved for a genuine belief in their cause. And if one wants to donate to celebrate his death, there is no sense in putting it under Phelps’ name or memory. There is

no point in drawing media attention towards who he is or what he has done. It’s irrelevant now. The best thing to do is to collectively promise as a society to never say the man's name again and let time inflict the final blow on his name and what he stood for. Repay him and his acts of bigotry with unwavering indifference.

Do not confuse indifference with forgiveness, though. He and his followers should never be forgiven for the suffering they brought upon the families they affected. What he and his supporters have done is unconscionable, but it is coming to an end. Like his son Nathan, society has endured Phelps for 84 years, and now his reign and influence. If you’re religious, take solace in the fact that if there is a god, he will not look kindly upon the actions of Phelps and rest assured that his afterlife will not be a pleasant one. And if you’re an atheist, remember that his time here is over. He decided to waste his life on hate and now has an eternity of nothingness awaiting him.

opinions

seal no more OTTAWA FIGHTS EU ON SEAL BAN Keara Farnan × Writer Controversy has struck Canada as Ottawa's Environment Minister, Leona Aglukkaq has been arguing with the European Union (EU) against the ban of seal products. Three days later, Aglukkaq argued her point of view at a hearing in Geneva to which the Conservatives stated “the seal harvest [was] humane, sustainable and well-regulated."

The EU is attempting to ban seal products since seal hunting is inhumane and these slaughters have been ongoing for thousands of years. Many methods of hunting, such as hitting the seal with a metal spike have been considered cruel and insensitive. According to animal advocates, there will not be any growth within seal hunting because it is a dying field. Instead of trying to help transition fishermen into other occupations, the government is offering tax benefits to sustain seal hunting. According to the Epoch Times, 60 per cent of seals are not endangered throughout Canada, Norway, Namibia and Southern Africa, meaning the survival rates of seals have decreased greatly over the years.

According to the Liberation of B.C., it isn't illegal to kill seals within Canada as long as the seals are over 11 days old — when they are in their "whitecoat" phase. But as soon they hit the 12th day, these beloved marine mammals become susceptible to hunting. Back in the 21st century 95 per cent of seals were hunted according to the Liberation of B.C. — "[seals] between the ages of 12 days and three months," with the total increasing to 98 per cent by 2007. Young seals are great for hunting since "their fur pelts fetch the highest rates.”

Canadians should be concerned with the welfare

× Jana Vanduin of seals since seal hunting is in no shape or form "humane". The seals are either smashed over the head with a "hakpik” — a club with a large spike attached or shot with a gun. The seals, dead or alive, are then dragged across the ice and skinned.

Seal hunters compete with a limited amount of time to see who can kill a seal the fastest and in the shortest amount of time, "so they work quickly to get around as many pelts as they can” according to Liberation B.C. It is the EU’s job to be concerned with the well-being of seals and other animals, with regards to methods of hunting. The EU feels as though some of the methods are painful and cause much distress.

Due to constant climate change, seal hunting is no longer sustainable as the ice begins to melt rapidly and young seal pups are not able to learn

how to swim before the ice melts beneath them, meaning that most seal pups are dying before we even have the opportunity to chase after them. The number of seals "allowable [to] catch [depends] on the number of seals that can be killed." This is determined using the "latest science advice.”

Our taxes also pay a huge part in seal hunting as $20 million in government subsidies were provided to Canadian-selling companies between 1995 and 2001. By 2004, two selling companies of seal goods were granted $400,000 in government subsidies. In 2012, the government of Newfoundland and Labrador, $3.6 million was offered to Carino Processing Ltd. for the production of pelts and blubber, both of which have no stock market.

The EU ban on seal products should not come as a surprise. Many Canadians do not support the

seal hunt, and other countries have already ended similar practices. There are 34 countries that have banned the importation of commercial seal products. Even countries with large marine animal populations, such as Taiwan, have enforced seal bans.

Most of the seal goes to waste anyway — in most cases, only the oil of the animal is used for "health supplements". The blubber of the seal is rarely used and a 2006 study by Memorial University shows that 80 per cent of the animal is discarded. Therefore, the meat of the seal is left rotting on the ice since it is largely considered inedible and unfit for human consumption. The Canadian government concludes that “finding a market for seal meat outside of Newfoundland continues to present a major challenge for the selling industry.”

Perhaps, banning seal hunting isn’t a terrible thing after all, as most of “the commercial seal hunt[ers] are fishers 95 per cent of the year,” with seal hunting being only a fraction of their yearly income. Seal hunters do not make a lot money to begin with, so in this case it is not a very stable career. A recent study in 2005 indicated, that hunters on average earn between $1,929 and $2,130 and by 2008 the yearly salary had decreased from $221 to $11. As a result, many seal hunters have withdrawn from their job. Due to seals being hunted every year, the species may become extinct in the future. Seals for the most part are not dangerous creatures so why do we have to go out and kill them? Isn’t it more enjoyable to visit them at the Vancouver Aquarium then to have them shot and left on the ice to die?

no turkish delight CORRUPTION AND VIOLENCE SETS BACK A FORWARD NATION Katherine Gillard × News Editor

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back to being westernized; people who see that repressing women and forcing religion isn’t fair. “My cousin who is a DJ, very modern girl, and I [were] there a couple of years ago and we were having coffee outside after the restaurant brought the coffee outside,” explains Olcay. “The women that were there outside with their heads covered were staring down because she was dressed very modern. She stared back and said, ‘What are you looking at?’ you know, I could feel it, I could feel the tension and that was a micro-example of what’s happening in Turkey. You’ve got the pressure and the westernized side pushing back.”

The west is focused on Putin right now, but we should be thinking about other countries that are also having their rights taken away. Turkey’s elections will be on Aug. 2 of this year and will be held through an electronic vote. Electronic votes are able to be rigged — unless we all start talking about this, and hold the government responsible for what is happening, and make pleas to ensure this election is run fairly.

“We are just praying that they get rid of this government, the worry is that there is going to be a fixed vote, he gets back in and my thinking is that it’s going to be more demonstrations, more turmoil and maybe even bloodshed as we’ve seen in that part of the world, you know? So I’m hoping not, I’m hoping he gets out but this is an ongoing war — there’s no question."

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religious and, at times, prevented the Islamic government from coming into power originally, but there was a vote and they were voted in because there was a lot of corruption in government, to be honest,” Olcay says.

There may have been corruption before the justice and development party (AKP) came in to power, but now there’s even more. Military leaders, who tried to stop the party from coming to power, because they wanted to keep the country secular and democratic, were thrown in jail when the party won the election. The message was clear to the Turks — don’t go against the government or we will do the same to you.

A 13-year-old boy was recently killed in a protest in Turkey when officials gassed the streets — and this is raising even more questions about whether the government is ethical. The government is taking away the option for people to speak their minds — journalists are being censored with threats or even being sent to jail. Videos of Turkish protests turned violent went viral. “They were gassed, they were beaten, people ended up dying, and then the demonstration spread throughout Turkey because of this, and now the demonstration became demonstrations against the government so the past yearand-a-half has been this turmoil-ish demonstration by the westernized thinking-Turks, they want this government out,” Olcay adds.

There are people who are fighting to get Turkey

THE CAPILANO COURIER

In 1924, Mustafa Atatürk, the first president of Turkey, modernized the country’s constitution but also made political, legal, cultural, social and economic policy changes that completely changed the human rights landscape. Not only did he give women the right to vote, but he also took religion out of politics — he made the country secular and separated the state from Islamic culture. Turkey became a secular, democratic republic.

Atatürk famously said in a meeting directly to women, “Win for us the battle of education and you will do yet more for your country than we have been able to do. It is to you that I appeal.” To the men he said, “If henceforward the women do not share in the social life of the nation, we shall never attain to our full development. We shall remain irremediably backward, incapable of treating on equal terms with the civilizations of the West.”

This idea is commonplace in western society today, but between 1926 and 1930 when Atatürk made these changes, many countries were still not being given the right to vote. Women in Quebec didn’t gain this right until 1940. This history lesson may seem unimportant, because if these people are living in a secular state with equal rights, why should we be talking about it? But the fact is that these rights have slowly been taken away – some with

force and others by simply making people uncomfortable due to the current Islamic governing body, led by President Abdullah Gül and Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.

Turkey is considered one of the most economically stable and forward-thinking Islamic countries, but they have been set back drastically because of this corruption. By implementing religion in schools, women are wearing head scarves again and covering their bodies, and if you are not outwardly supporting the government, they will come after you and they are already stealing money. In the past month, phone calls between the prime minister and his son were recorded, wherein Erdogan told his son to hide the money he had stolen from the government from anti-corruption investigators that have been looking into him.

Murat Olcay is a Canadian who was born in Turkey but moved to Canada with his family when he was five years old. He returned to Turkey for the first time when he was 13 and the country was democratic and westernized, but in the past 10 years, he’s seen changes. Even though he is a Canadian, Olcay still feels that Turkey is his country, and he has family there who are being affected by recent reforms. “Systematically [the government] started adding religion to the education system and the military protected Turkey, if you will, from anything fundamental or Islamic or religious.

They wanted the countries to stay secular and non-

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columns

LEAH SCHEITEL COLUMNS EDITOR

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

functional adult COOL KIDS SIT AT THE BACK OF THE BUS Paisley Conrad × Columnist

Far from her small town roots, Paisley Conrad is trying to find her way in Vancouver. Her life is now a juggling act of school, work and improv comedy, and she manages to pull it off while appearing like an adult. In her column, she will explore the tribulations of a young student trying to figure it out outside of the parents’ house.

Being an environmentally minded human being, I actively do my best to recycle, compost, buy locally-made products and shops at locally-owned stores. It is a point of personal pride that I own several “vegan” shirts (what makes a regular shirt not vegan, I’ll never know). I bring my own to-go cups to coffee shops (I have a collection of mason jars that are perfectly suited to this task) and I’ve met the only member of parliament representing the Green Party, Elizabeth May, several times (she’s totally obsessed with Harry Potter).

Following this current trend of going green, I also don’t own a car. I feel that far too many people own vehicles that they don’t need in this city as it is, and the last thing that the West Coast needs is more auto-related pollution. Also, parking is ex-

× Jocelyn Wong

pensive and driving is stressful. My not having a license may also be a major factor.

While ideally I would ride my push scooter everywhere, that is not the most practical mode of transportation in the hilly metropolis of Vancouver. I’ve never been one for biking, and walking everywhere is also incredibly impractical. Therefore, I ride the bus.

Last semester, I lived in North Burnaby, went to school at Capilano University and worked in the heart of Kitsilano. On days when I would go to school in the mornings and work in the evenings, I would spend upwards of three hours on the bus.

My commute was pretty tame in comparison to my friends who live in Langley or Port Coquitlam. For some reason, the city of Vancouver hasn’t realized

that a more developed SkyTrain system would overall improve the quality of life for so many citizens.

As a result of this lengthy commute, I often have to leave my house early in the day to get to work on time. This severely cuts into my beauty sleep, and to make up for it I often take little catnaps on the bus. One such morning I didn’t manage to get one of the coveted seats at the back next to one of the windows. I was stuck in the middle of a row with nothing to lean up against, so I tilted my head backwards and managed to find sleep.

At the same time, a completely arbitrary person who had no idea of my identity, who happened to be riding the bus, took a picture of me in this ridiculous sleeping position. She then proceeded to send that picture via popular messaging application Snapchat to a friend of mine. That friend, recognizing me, took a screenshot of the Snapchat and sent it to me. I made it my profile picture, and it’s by far the most popular one I’ve had in a while.

I get a lot of weird old men striking up conversations with me on the bus. Conversation topics range from them comparing my hair to Taylor Swift’s, the theme of the weird fantasy novel that I’m reading or them offering me a very sketchysounding catering job. While I don’t want to be rude and ruin their night by ignoring them, I also don’t want to divulge personal details about my life to strangers. I’ve created a bus alter-ego for situations such as these. Her name is Katie, she’s studying criminology at SFU, her favourite Friends character is Rachel Green and she is a hostess at

the Red Robin’s on Robson. Katie is a lot friendlier than I am.

I remember one particular instance when I was getting on the bus. I had run three blocks to catch it and was desperate to get on this particular bus.

In addition to my overloaded backpack, I had a small plastic sushi bag, a book, my phone, my wallet and an umbrella loaded into my arms. I fumbled for my U-Pass, which had hidden itself in between a stack of crumpled receipts in my wallet.

Flustered, I finally get on to the bus, where all of the seats were filled. There was still plenty of standing room, however. I made my way to the back of the bus like the polite person that I am, and the curved handle of my umbrella hooked onto one of the poles. I lurched forward, my belongings spilling everywhere. I scrambled to collect my things so as to not hold up the traffic of people on the bus and stood up. Apparently I don’t ever learn from my mistakes and my umbrella got caught again, and this time my things flew even further. One of my containers of sushi didn’t survive the fall, and my phone was never the same. I straightened up, salvaged what I could of my food (and shoved the rest under a seat) and tucked the handle of my umbrella under my armpit. As I continued my walk to the back, I felt the eyes of every other transit rider judging my fumble. We then spent a lovely 45-minute bus ride together as I wallowed in my shame.

ger and more effective. There are several that are constantly organizing campaigns to fight human rights violations, environmental issues, corruption and conflict throughout the world. It is free and easy to join these communities and by doing so people can have a large impact through the signing of petitions. Such an action may seem distant and ineffective at first glance, but the collection of tens and even hundreds of thousands of signatures has repeatedly had a very serious and very real impact.

Roxana Saberi’s 2009 case is a great example of how online petitions can help. This American journalist with dual U.S.-Iranian citizenship was sentenced to eight years imprisonment in Iran for “collecting classified information” and spying for the U.S. after being arrested for buying a bottle of wine. After much domestic and international pressure, and the collection of tens of thousands of signatures through many online petitions, she was released. Her eight-year term was reduced to a two-year suspended sentence and Roxana is free.

Saberi’s case is one of many examples of how an active international community of online petition signers and human rights activists can make governments and key decision makers take notice and in turn rescue victims from injustice.

The actions you take to help another person may not be so visible in the present, but like the ripples in a pond, our actions, starting small, create large waves. And if karma doesn’t motivate you, never forget the mood enhancing effects that kindness towards others has. The immediate bubbling joy of giving to others or preforming a selfless act, however large or small, is better than anything you can ever receive.

To wait for governments and corporate leaders to take notice and create the change we wish to see is a delusional fantasy. It is individuals that make up the masses, and it is the small daily exchange between two people that changes our world. It is up to us as individuals to improve the situation for human rights throughout our communities and our planet at large. Become a member of an online community that stands up for human rights. Sign petitions and treat those around you, both at home and abroad, to the values of equality and freedom.

No one person is any greater or more valuable than another. We are all in this thing together.

humans YOU: THE BACKBONE IN HUMAN RIGHTS Christine Janke × Columnist

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Christine Janke is the kind of soul that cares for all of the ones around her. Her education in Human Rights from Malmo University in Sweden has allowed her to look at the world in a different light.

Her Humans column will delve into human rights, in Canada and abroad.

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The news we hear or read is often negative and quite depressing. Many of us choose to ignore all of the injustice, war, famine and natural disasters happening around the world and focus on our own positive and happy daily lives. Surely such an approach is much better for our mental health and quality of life — or is it? Why should we care about human rights violations happening around the world, in places we have never been and may never have any personal relations with?

The answer is manifold, but also quite simple.

We are all human, and we are all in this together.

Everyone is interconnected. To help another person is in turn helping ourselves. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Maybe altruistic acts exist, but more real than anything is a fear that injustice can spread if we do not stand up for that which is right. If we are not taking human rights issues in the right direction, someone else is leading them in the wrong direction. Nothing is ever standing still. This is why a continual conscious support for our rights as human beings is paramount to our survival.

It is important to remember that human rights violations do not happen in far-away countries where dictators rule by religious law or rebel fighting causes massive exodus and displacement.

Human rights issues are all around us in our daily lives, right here in Canada. Our government may use a language that focuses on progress and change, but it is an economic progress in exchange for environmental destruction leading into the dark unknown. It’s a positive spin that will have devastating consequences on our beautiful country, and on us as Canadians.

Not only are crimes against humanity happening right here on our home soil in a direct way; we in the West are also players in the indirect violation of human rights throughout the world. Online child pornography and video sex, a tragedy on the rise affecting many Filipino and Asian children, can only exist because predators from the world’s wealthiest countries can easily get away with it. Resource exploitation is largely thanks to Canadian and other Western companies who operate in weak nations where there is little government concern over environmental or human consequences. We come from a society of capitalism, the “American Dream” and bottom lines. But due to world wars and genocide, a belief in social responsibility and humanitarianism has been born. Human rights are a relatively new concept for people and nations to swallow, but their vital importance has never been clearer.

So how can people help? What are some easy and effective ways to speak out on behalf of the persecuted and the weak? Online communities focusing on human rights have never been stron-

Interested in reading more? All of these organizations have amazing impacts through two simple clicks of a mouse.

Amnesty International Amnesty.org Human Rights First HumanRightsFirst.org Human Rights Watch Hrw.org Avaaz Avaaz.org Physicians for Human Rights PhysiciansForHumanRights.org Care2 ThePetitionsite.com

columns

the modern groupie STOP DATING MUSICIANS

Layla Domino × Columnist Layla Domino is a veteran groupie with a love of all things music and all things men. After spending her early 20s backstage waiting for her lovers to serenade crowds and in the front seat of tour buses, she has gathered some raucous stories, which she will now share with you. And naturally, her favourite movie is a tie between Magic Mike and Almost Famous.

As evidenced by my trials and tribulations of dating musicians, getting into a relationship with a wannabe rock star is like agreeing to go road-tripping in an unreliable van, down a most-certainly rocky path with a high chance of getting dumped on the side of the road and having to hitch hike home. It’ll be simultaneously the best and worst time of your life. But if, like me, you’re just too damned stubborn to give up a chance at love with a passionate songwriter, here are some reasons why you should probably shy away from that dude with a guitar, or set of drumsticks or a wicked pair of lungs.

THEY’RE NARCISSISTS Let’s be honest - at one point in your life or another, you’ve tried to talk your way into a relationship with someone you’re really into whom may have been a little less into you, but nonetheless, kind of into you. The problem was they were also kind of into themselves. Any half-decent looking guy who’s also half-decent at guitar has had more than a few eyelash bats in his direction as he rattles off that Bright Eyes song that works for him every time.

But, like any successful musician knows, success isn’t just about the music — it’s about the image.

It’s in those Steve Baio hip swings, those worn-outin-just-the-right-spots fitted leather jackets and penis-gripping tight jeans. More than one of my musician exes made a mess of the bedroom finding the perfect outfit to wear, promptly kicking me out

me, keep down this path and he’ll be calling you during his tour asking for your credit card number to pay for the charges for the bathroom he trashed — and he spent all his money on cocaine the night before, it wouldn’t hurt if you could wire him a few bucks for breakfast. True story.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN × Alain Champagne

of the bathroom to pluck the stray hairs between his eyebrows and brush that long-ass rock and roll mane, which I would later have to clean out of my expensive, salon-bought hair brush.

IT’S THE BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE As if having the best sex of your life is really something to stop you from dating these passionate performers, but let me explain. Goddamn, that guy can make a six-string sing, and suddenly you find yourself in his bed wailing out all the notes his axe was hitting at the show a few hours ago.

Problem is, he’s put all his practice and discipline into that, ahem, instrument; he’s damn good at it and he knows it. But now that he’s finally reaping the benefits that years of practice have given him, do you think he’s going to keep playing for the same crowd in the same venue every weekend? As

Steven Tyler might say, “Dream On”. He’s going to swing that axe all over town, making you a pretty good candidate for an STI. Thankfully, in my case, my cheating ex-boyfriend used a condom every time. It was the least he could do.

THEY NEVER HAVE THEIR OWN MONEY At first, you really didn’t mind picking up the tab at the coffee shop and splurging on a nice dinner date. He was saving up to press his new album on vinyl, or for that new guitar he’s been drooling over at Long & McQuade. Or saving up for that tour which would, hypothetically, make him lots of money in the form of cover charges and album sales. Suddenly, it’s the norm and you just accept that you’re the breadwinner because keeping a nineto-five would really squash his creative soul, and you don’t want to be responsible for that, do you? Trust

When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s constantly touring, it’s kind of like being in a longdistance relationship — but not quite. Communication will be sparse as he’s driving down remote stretches of highway for 12 hours at a time, playing shows when he gets out of the van and “crashing after a long day,” which is actually code for doing blow and banging band-aids. Then you’ll take to obsessively checking the band’s Facebook and Instagram feeds, analysing every picture that shows up with a halfway-pretty girl in the background.

What’s more, you might really be kicking yourself for staying home and making money to pay the bills he gets to shirk off while chasing his dreams.

Hey, what about your dreams? In some cases, you might actually get to go on tour with him for a short time, but guess who’s going to be taking care of the merch table while he eye-fucks some groupie in the front row. That’s right, you — the original groupie. Get your Aretha on and demand a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

lifemoney THE BEST KIND OF CURRENCY

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On about day 16 of my cross-Canada bike trip, I left Swift Current nice and early in the a.m. — not aggressively early, more like 7 a.m. I was armed with new podcasts and determined to get to Regina, about 241 kilometres away. The weather was calling for rain and thunderstorms. After about 50 kilometres, I saw a little speck on the side of the highway and I knew it must be another cyclist.

I caught up to him and rode up on his left side.

That’s when I met Paul, a Belgian guy who’s been

desert to really realize how awesome an apple really was. I thought this was a perfect metaphor on how to live life — take nothing for granted and appreciate everything. No one opens their fridge door at home, looks at a bag of apples and sees a bag of Lifemoney. That’s what the apple was for him in the desert, like winning the Lifemoney lottery.

I’m not sure who came up with the term “Lifemoney” but a crew of friends from B.C. and I use the term often. Everyone needs to make money so they can pay their bills. But making money isn’t what life is about at all. You can spend your life getting rich but as soon as you die, you lose it all and can take none of it with you. If you spend your life making Lifemoney (experiences, moments in time you’ll remember forever, memories you’ll treasure ‘til the end of your days) then you are truly rich. I know I’m going to spend my life making Lifemoney because Lifemoney is the only money you can take to the memory bank. The memory bank is the only bank that lets you withdraw everything in your account the day you pass away. In my opinion, I’m already a Lifemoney millionaire, but hey…who’s to say I can’t be the youngest trillionaire in the world?

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Brian Cameron is a writer, traveler, cyclist, and all around good guy. While he is currently based in Whistler, snowboarding the winter away, he is also planning his next adventure. Maybe becoming a Sherpa, who knows? Keep updated on his travels at Neverlostforeverfound.blogspot.ca

credible machines. Look at the people in Africa who have to walk 60 plus kilometres just to get water every day. Do they say, “I couldn’t do that”?

No, because if they don’t, they perish.

We all have the ability to push our bodies and mind but somewhere between the comforts of the western world and excuses, you tell yourself you could never do it. So next time you think you can’t do something, pretend it’s opposite day. Every “can’t” becomes a “can” and with that mindset, just try. Because chances are you’ll surprise yourself with abilities you never knew you had.

The day before my encounter with Paul, I’d made a ton of snacks and sandwiches before setting off. I realized it was so I could share them with my new friend. Paul has been surviving off porridge and ramen noodles. We rode past the Chaplain Salt Lake and talked about how much you take everything for granted. He told me a story about biking through the desert in Mexico and a family had stopped to give him cold water, yogurt and an apple. That’s when he had one of those blissful lifechanging moments when you realize how damn good something as simple as an apple can be. It took being dehydrated and alone in the Mexican

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Brian Cameron

biking for over four-and-a-half years. Throughout those years, he rode through Italy, Greece, Turkey, Iran, China, Tibet, Japan, Southeast Asia and Australia. Then he flew to Argentina and rode his bike up from there. He told me he had a Belgian friend who was driving transport trucks across Canada and living in Lethbridge. He’d just come from there and was heading to Montreal to catch a flight to Paris, then he would bike back to his village with the two friends he started the trip with so many years ago. I was instantly humbled.

There I was thinking the trip I’d taken on was large and this guy had crossed the world on his bike, 77,000 kilometres plus, on two feet and a heartbeat. We rode together for six hours exchanging stories and laughing about the trials and tribulations of living your days on your bike and out of a bag. I told him that I was pushing to get to Regina and just talking to him gave me a big blast of confidence. So many people give excuses as to why they can’t do something like my cross-Canada trip. All the excuses come down to one thing — somewhere along the line you stopped believing in yourself; believing that you can mentally and physically do anything. Our bodies are such in-

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want to do it at the beach.

we're hiring!

The following positions are up for grabs! Applications dealine is June 30th.

Visit our website for more info. Thanks!

ARTS EDITOR Covers campus and local arts and entertainment, including previews, reviews, and profiles, along with other interesting arts and culture related stories. Oversees editing and writing quality of the Arts section.

Required writing and editing experience and an understanding of the local arts scene.

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NEWS EDITOR Covers campus issues, student clubs and organizations and other stories assigned. Requires related writing experience and an understanding of student politics and local current news. Also must be a current student at Capilano University for the 2013 fall school year.

OPINIONS EDITOR Responsible for assigning and editing researched and insightful opinions, specifically covering issues related to student interests.

HUMOUR AND FICTION EDITOR Responsible for the humour and fiction section (Caboose), and recruits cartoonists and humour writers.

Comes up with weekly themes and assuring the section has enough creative content. Previous humour writing is an asset.

COPY EDITOR

web design, Html, CSS, WordPress, and other online applications.

MANAGING EDITOR Works to promote the paper, and as an additional editor for all sections, as needed. Works along side the Editorin-Chief in organizing meeting, working and recruiting writers and events. Must have some writing experience.

ART DIRECTOR Recruits illustrators, artists, cartoonists and photographers to produce art for weekly articles. Must oversee the overall artistic design of the paper, and should be able to work under pressure to produce graphics for various and demanding themes, topics, and constraints.

PRODUCTION MANAGER Responsible for layout, typography and graphic design of the paper, as well as printing and production. Must be familiar with Adobe InDesign and Photoshop. Will educate the right applicant on the details of the Courier’s design expectations.

ADS AND EVENTS MANAGER Develops and maintains a local advertising base for the Courier. Must be able to design ads and write copy, and keep track of ad accounts. Helps organize and curate events related to the paper.

DISTRIBUTION MANAGER In charge of distributing the Courier every week to designated locations on and off campus. Must have a car and a valid driver’s license.

Responsible for the overall style of the Courier’s writing. Corrects spelling, grammar, punctuation, style, etc. before the final layout. Must work well under pressure and deadlines. Familiarity with CP Style is an asset.

STAFF WRITER

WEB EDITOR

COLUMNISTS

Responsible for maintain the Courier’s website. Requires updating the content weekly, and knowledge on

Responsible for a column article every two weeks, exploring a specific topic. Writing experience required.

Mountain Starbucks.

However, the discounts don’t end there. Y2Play will also include a 20 per cent discount at Starbucks, a 20 per cent discount on private lessons, $30 off of Mountain Zipline tours, $10 visits to The Eye of the Wind and 20 per cent off of retail purchases. Furthermore, Y2Players will receive 30 per cent off racing events such as Seek the Peak and 20 per cent off from equipment rentals.

“If you purchase today, it’s good to the end of our snow season,” says Blackwell. “So usually we’re open for skiing and riding until about May, and the Y2Play pass starts up again when we open for the 2014/2015 seasons and that’s usually mid-

November.” The Y2Play also pays for itself after just five visits.

Yet the services of the Y2Play Pass don’t truly highlight its biggest perk — the mountain itself.

For the students of CapU, Grouse Mountain is the most accessible ski/snowboard spot. It can be quickly reached, either by driving up Capilano or by a 20-minute transit ride.

“Another thing to highlight and I really want to point out is how accessible Grouse Mountain is.

Not every student has a vehicle, but we’re really easy to get to by transit, it’s user friendly that way,” says Blackwell.

The proximity of the mountain is one of the reasons as to why it’s extremely popular among the students, and with the Y2Play, avid snowboarders and skiers will have all the more reason to come up. Parks at the mountain have consistently been rated among the best in the Lower Mainland. The parks offer features that are frequently updated, as well as weekly Park Jams.

The services and perks that the Y2Play offers fit perfectly with the culture at CapU. It’s a campus in proximity to the peak of Vancouver and it’s a campus with a community that has an affinity for the outdoors.

“We have some of the best terrain parks on the North Shore,” begins Blackwell. “I’m sure that a lot of [CapU students] really enjoy going to the terrain parks and working on their tricks and jumps and stuff like that, and the additional discounts to get on all the other different things we offer at Grouse really lend [themselves] well to what you’re doing at CapU.”

Responsible for writing a minimum of two articles per week. Must be reliable and ready to write for all sections of the paper. Writing experience required.

Y2PLAY PLASS Carlo Javier

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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It’s common knowledge around campus that Capilano University is a haven for snowboarders, skiers and anyone who enjoys the realm of outdoor activities.

CapU annually hosts the Rail Jam, an oncampus ski and snowboard event that works to raise money for local foundations; CapU also offers an entire program dedicated to the outdoors. Students on this campus are usually the ones who take frequent trips up to Grouse for a short ride after a long study session. Aside from that, it’s also common knowledge that students in Vancouver are already loaded given the city’s expensive nature.

Students face tuition fees, rent or housing expenses and a multitude of other necessities, most of which come with a price. This is a reality and it’s not something to complain about — but the problem is, when students get so caught up with expenses, the fun gets eliminated entirely.

Enter the Y2Play Pass. The Y2Play is a pass that provides students entry to Grouse Mountain, and many other benefits at the peak of Vancouver.

At just $279 for the 2014/2015 season, the pass grants students a value of about $126 in freebies.

It’s valid for skiing and riding through the end of the winter season, and the pass re-validates come the next winter season.

“I think one of the incredible things with it, is that it’s not just one of those passes that [is] suit-

able for only hard-core skiers and riders,” begins Jacqueline Blackwell, public relations manager for Grouse Mountain. “This is a really great way to introduce yourself [to] skiing and snowboarding because it’s so affordable and you can still see and figure out if you enjoy it.”

Signing up for Y2Play will include provisions such as a pre-loaded credit for food and beverage, one lift ticket to bring a friend, one snowshoe rental, one skate rental and one ski/ snowboard rental. The food and beverage credit can be utilized in various shops and cafes at the mountain such as: Altitudes, The Observatory, Lupins, Grouse Grind Coffee Bar and the Grouse

Calendar Mo 31

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Kristi

Kenny VS Spenny VS Canada The Vogue Theatre 8 pm $40 to $100

@capilanocourier Hiroshima to Fukushima Seminar

M 31

CK Choi Building (UBC) 3:30 pm $ - free

@capcourier

London Grammar M 31

Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $22.50

CapilanoCourier.com Samonie Toonoo Exhibition

M 31

Inuit Gallery of Vancouver 10 am to 6 pm $ - free

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CBC TV icons and Canadian cult heroes Kenny Hotz and Spencer Rice present an evening of comedy, questions and behind-the-scenes footage from their hit competition show, Kenny VS Spenny. You can yell out asking if that episode where they drugged each other with acid was authentic, and maybe find out where they really live now that they’re rich.

The Centre for Japanese Research presents a seminar with Prof Eichiro Ochiai of the University of Tokyo focused on the issue of radiation that is common to the military and peaceful use of nuclear energy. This seminar may help you determine whether or not you should really be downing the sashimi at that all-you-can-eat sushi bar.

I’m a fan of anyone who’s a fan of Game of Thrones, and British trip-hop trio, London Grammar, just happens to be a big supporter of Game of Thrones. Well, insofar as the group doing a cover of INXS’s “Devil Inside” for the upcoming fourth season of GoT. Anyways, the band plays the Commodore Ballroom tonight, and if you’re lucky, they may just kick out this cover.

The Inuit Gallery of Vancouver presents artist Samonie Toonoo’s works. Born in 1969, Samonie is part of a significant art family in Cape Dorset; being the son of the renowned graphic artist Sheojuk and carver Toonoo, he's also the younger brother of Jutai Toonoo and Ovilloo Tunnillie. Over the last 25 years as an artist, Samonie has evolved from realistic depictions of wildlife and figurative forms into this collection.

Cheese Night

April Fool's Day

Tango Lessons

Kid Ink

Whole Foods Market (Main Street) 6 pm to 7 pm $ - free

T 01

Everywhere All Day $ - cheap laughs

T 01

La Tangueria Esposito 7:30 pm $10

T 01

Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $25

T 01

At the request of our Managing Editor, Scott, here’s a food event that actually costs nothing!

Take a trip over to Whole Foods and taste raw cheeses, fill up, schmooze a little bit about which cheeses pair best with which wines, and ultimately, leave with a full belly without spending a dime… but only in this one-hour window.

One time in elementary school, on April Fool’s Day, my classmates and I used industrial masking tape to tape our sixth-grade teacher’s desk supplies to the blackboard. Luckily, she had a good sense of humour so she was kind of impressed — but we had to take it all down before noon. Text your best April Fool’s tricks to the Voicebox.

La Tangueria Esposito is the longest running weekly milonga in Vancouver. Prep for the milonga by taking a tango lesson at 7:30 pm.

The milonga is well attended by the local tango dancers making it a fun evening. The wood floor is spacious and the atmosphere is friendly! Make sure to come with a rose in your teeth.

Am I missing something about rap culture here?

Why are all these grown-ass men preceding their names with “Kid” and “Schoolboy” and “L’il”? I don’t get it — I especially don’t get it as they’re rapping about Berettas and sex instead of Nerf guns and playing Super Mario Kart. Kid Ink ain’t a kid, but he’s performing at the Commodore Ballroom tonight.

Cabaret Brise-Jour

Don't Blink

Crosses

Ain't Yo Mamma's Bingo

The Cultch 8 pm $18

W 02

The Rio Theatre 7 pm $9

W 02

Venue 8 pm $22.50

W 02

The Hyde 8:30 pm $ - cost of your youth

W 02

“The Shattered Cabaret” — Quebec City's L'orchestre d'hommes-orchestres eight-piece orchestra retraces the path of the musician in exile with rare instruments and "music-objects," conjuring Kurt Weill's dramatic and musical world and the best and worst of the human condition.

Don’t blink… or in the Courier’s case, we call this kind of event “Carlo, don’t look!” Our staff writer has a penchant for throwing loonies at strippers, but we might have to debrief him on the fact that burlesque performers aren’t technically strippers.

They’ve been throwing his loonies back at him, often getting stuck in his really big hair. He keeps wondering why it rains loonies every time he showers.

Los Angeles-based electronica-rock trio tours in support of recent self-titled release, with guests JMSN. Recently, upside-down crosses have been an ironic fashion statement, meant to symbolize a Satanic cross. I still think Madonna holds the most bad ass title for burning crosses in her music video in the ‘80s and no one can take that away from her.

This Ain’t Yo Momma’s Bingo is a twist on the classic pastime and will have everyone getting in on the action. Expect two scantily clad women calling for the dirtiest five letter words you can think of instead of boring ol’ Bingo. Come prepared for funny, sexy and unexpected things to happen which could win you prizes and drinks!

EVE

Goodnight Desdemona

JP Maurice, Rolla Olak & Redbird

Bryan Callen

Fortune Sound Club 9 pm $35

Th 03

Bernie Legge Theatre 8 pm $15

Th 03

The Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $10

Th 03

The Comedy Mix 8 pm $25

Th 03

Get hyped as the Ruff Ryders’ first lady, Eve, performs at Fortune Sound Club. Bringing all her female rap glory and those super ‘90s puppy paw breast tattoos, she might flip through some tracks she penned with fellow Ruff Ryder DMX or spit a verse or two from that song she did with Gwen Stefani. Let her “Blow Your Mind”.

The Vagabond Players present Ann-Marie Macdonald's play that examines what would have happened if Shakespeare's great tragedies were actually comedies — playing off works such as Othello and Romeo & Juliet. Directed by Michael Parker.

Put on your cowboy boots for Vancouver’s all-star players of folk and country. You can be sure that there’ll be lots of foot-stomping and banjo picking, and most likely some tunes about campfire, whiskey and moonshine, and that time your dog ran away.

Comedian and actor and original cast member of the inaugural 1995 season of Mad TV performs stand-up comedy at the Comedy Mix. Callen also goes by the monikers The Kid, Bit Killer Jones, Conversation Strangler Stevens, P Popper Wilson, Mayor of Seeyasville, Question Killer Quinn, Bit Booter Bryan, Episode Improving Ian and Scene Stealer Sanderson. That’s a lot of names.

Spring Fling

Danny Bhoy

Future Islands

Space Cruise

Wise Hall 8 pm $25

F 04

Vogue Theatre 8 pm $37.50

F 04

The Rickshaw Theatre 8 pm $15

F 04

Vancouver Fan Club 8 pm $25

F 04

Not to be confused with CapU’s Spring Fling, this Spring Fling features leaping thespians in a community-building event featuring live music, comedy, sketches, burlesque, drag kings and dancing.

And Cady Heron will probably win Spring Fling Queen with two gift certificates to the Jiffy Wiffy Waffle House. And none for Gretchen Wieners.

Just for Laughs presents the Scottish comedian in his new show Dear Epson, in which he takes on some of the biggest and smallest issues in the world. Not going to lie, this guy is kind of a babe and I really wouldn’t mind getting a peek up his kilt. Man, Willy the Janitor had some sex appeal.

Synth-pop trio from Baltimore, Maryland, performs tunes from new 4AD album Singles, with guests Ed Schrader's Music Beat. This would be so much better if it were a No Island show, featuring our very own Arts Editor, Andy Rice. You can find their stickers posted up around the woods at CapU. It’s our own version of an Easter egg hunt.

Take a NASA uncertified trip to this space-themed event features burlesque, circus, live music, theatre and interactive games. Alien costumes are encouraged. And if you can’t afford this evening, then perhaps you should grab yourself a space-themed National Geographic and do some salvia.

East Van Pillow FIght Club

Proud

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings

Retro Gaming Expo

The Astoria Pub 8 pm $12

S 05

Firehall Arts Centre 8 pm $12

S 05

The Commodore Ballroom 8:30 pm $35

S 05

The Columbia (New West) 9 am to 11 pm $20

S 05

Playwright Michael Healey's comedy about a young, attractive, and very inexperienced female MP who provides Prime Minister Stephen Harper with a new tool in his arsenal. With these prices, PM Harper could afford to send his Senators to this play millions of times with the Senate’s tax budget.

The Georgia Straight presents the American funksoul band touring in support of latest release Give the People What They Want, with guests James Hunter. This generation’s answer to Aretha Franklin, Sharon Jones “Learned the Hard Way” that a lot of men out there are dogs — but that her music will always prevail.

Vendors, gaming, tournaments, panels, costumes spiced it up a bit with a licensed venue, some awesome old-school music, live bands, special guests and some gaming themed burlesque. From early morning to late evening check out the best dealers, tournaments, and fun in retro gaming paradise.

Nifty for Fifty Sale

Baker's Dozen

Sunday Cabaret Series

Sakura Days Japan Fair

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In the style of roller derby bouts, this combat sport and entertainment event features MC Lee Shorten, Hal Sugar Hands, Troy St. Clare, Dora the Ring Girl, DJ Daryl and Shauny B-Boy Biollo, Queen Tragedy Ann, and Miss Treats. Proceeds go to the Vancouver Rape Relief and Shelter.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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with

Heritage Hall 11 am to 8 pm $1

Su 06

Shop over 30 local labels for clothing, jewellery, bags, scarves, and kids' clothes for $50 or less.

Participating labels include Vancouver designers Adhesif Clothing, Allison Wonderland, Bronsino, Daub + Design, Elroy Apparel, Irit Sorokin Designs, Kdon, and Shop Cocoon.

River District Centre 11 am to 3 pm $ - free

Su 06

Baker’s Dozen is Vancouver’s newest baked goods market and during every Sunday, 13 local bakers and their tasty goods will be featured. Join as a vendor or shop for your favourite treats down by the river at the River District Centre – free!

PAL studios 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm $ - by donation

Su 06

Ex-lovers cast as the romantic leads? Burlesque dancers hired to perform….for a church group?

Hosted by acclaimed comedic performer Sara Bynoe captures some of the hilarious stories that happen far from the spotlight. Come discover that sometimes there’s more.

VanDusen Gardens 10 am to 5 pm $12

Su 06

Experience the special ritual of the Japanese tea ceremony, enjoy Japanese festival food, sample premium sake, guided Tree Talks and Walks to the cherry trees, and enjoy haiku readings.

Experience Japan with hands-on workshops and try your hand at ikebana (flower arranging) calligraphy, origami and other Japanese arts and crafts demonstrations.

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shotgun reviews ON OURSELVES!%

FAYES%CLAWS

PIZZA%AND%BEER

THE%COURIER%AND%FUZZY%STUFF

LINDSAY%HOWE%&%KRISTI%ALEXANDRA

Katherine Gillard // Young Liberal

Kristi Alexandra // Doesn't need the workout.

Mhmm gurl Since getting hired at the Courier last August, I have gained at least 15 pounds. And that’s a modest estimate. I’m not saying it’s all the Courier’s fault, but since working here I have been consuming a considerable amount of pizza and beer — especially on our late Friday nights, when we’re delirious, exhausted and hungry. While other Vancouverites are meeting up with new Tinder dates over a few cocktails at the Cobalt or practicing their downward-facing dog at a yoga studio, you can find me behind the maple dumpster arguing about the placing of a comma whilst stuffing my face with a slice of chicken masala pizza and washing it down with a Granville Island Winter Ale. Truthfully, I love my Friday nights because I’m blessed to be working with people I really like.

Rather than spending all my money at the bar on Friday night, I’m laughing with my co-workers here at the Courier and dumping an exorbitant amount of calories down my gullet. Was it worth it? Hell yeah. But now that the Courier is closing its dumpster lid for the summer, I’ll probably spend my Fridays trying to shed the weight by tree-posing in a Bikram’s yoga class.

Cheryl Swan // Not actualy an amphibious bird

Carlo Javier // Still available, ladies

I knew the moment I sat down for the Art Director interview at JJ Bean that if I were to be hired, I'd be walking into a laid back atmosphere.

I knew this because within not even two minutes, Leah's teeth were placed on the table beside our cups of coffee. A week later I met up with Leah and Andrew, with whom I'd soon be working late Friday nights. Eventually I'd find myself waking up in an Edmonton hotel room with my cheek resting upon his bare man nipple. It's not how it sounds. It's just the story of the Courier's very own Fox and the Hound. While this is considered a job (and one within my industry at that), I have been really lucky to be recruited to direct all things art.

However, when I am in the office on Fridays, it's a day to catch up with the amazing friends I've made and to get ’er done! Thank you to my Maple dump league for filling my days and late Friday nights with the positive kind of heart palpitations.

This summer will be bland without your clammy hands to hold.

Lindsay Howe, our web editor, ads, events, distribution and marketing manager… also chairwoman of the Courier board — the one with the angry looking picture on the masthead, yeah that one.

She once compared the Ukraine crisis to the hypothetical situation of Portugal invading Canada to take back Scott. Scott is our brilliant and cynical managing editor, he’s neither Portuguese, nor are there any reasons that another country would invade Canada for him, at least I don’t think so.

Lindsay once unknowingly blocked a bus full of students, in the middle of the day, as she went about her weekly task of distributing the newspaper. I know this because I was there. I had to get off the bus to explain to her what was going on. Yup, she’s a character. But wait ‘til you meet Kristi. For some reason unbeknownst to even the most investigative of reporters (me), Kristi absolutely despises it when people sneeze. She also oddly disapproves of the phrase “lol haha.” Despite that, Kristi is a very nice person. She once brought coffee to staff meeting, simply because she was late. She was also very distraught about the Malaysian plane, like “losing sleep” kind of distraught.

LEAH'S%TEETH

PROOF%FOOD

KATHERINE%&%CARLO

THE%NASH%FACE

Therese Guieb // Actually droppen an F-bomb

Scott Moraes // Didn't have Pirate Paks in Brazil

Faye Alexander // Needs more peacoats

Andy Rice // A cesspit of resentment

It’s slimy, slightly tender and is definitely a whole lot of fun when you shove it in your mouth. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Just ask our EIC, she’s very experienced at dealing with it.

Men are always all up in her because she doesn’t bite… in fact, she literally can’t without shoving those slimy dentures in her mouth. I’ve seen these dentures in action quite often in the office, from picking up dirt from a desk to being dunked in a cup filled with tea. If a forensics team came in to swab the entire Courier office, they will find Leah’s DNA all over that shit. I swear they’re not just your average fake teeth. Without them she transforms from an average 28 year old to an 80-year-old geriatric patient. They make you so attractive that even Leah’s cat stole them for herself. Priced at $1000 these babies provide an instant makeover.

So fuck the tooth fairy. Who needs her when you have dentures?

I love take out food. Better yet, I prize food delivered directly to me. Not because I'm lazy, but because I spend 40 hours a week cooking for someone else, when I, myself, am starving. It's just wonderful to sit back and put zero effort into a meal, especially if I don't even have to pay for it.

That's why I held proof food on Fridays in such high regard. Whether we were slurping on spicy Thai curry, scooping out some butter chicken with a piece of our massive naan bread, chowing down cheesy Panago pizza, eating more sushi than we physiologically should, we were happy.

Except when it was White Spot. It was disgusting.

People in the office liked to pretend it was a good idea, but really, it was just their old nationalistic pride getting in the way of them admitting the truth: White Spot is a great big white blemish on Canada's reputation. I'm spoiled. Moving forward professionally, not working at the Courier, I only see one option. I need to hire a private chef to cook for me every day. Basically, I need to be Oprah.

People seem to be getting up in arms about the whole KIMYE Vogue cover — but I’ve never had a problem with couples that thrive on popularity and avant-garde fashion choices. Have you seen Katherine and Carlo? I was pretty sure they were pre-engaged when I first met this lookbook Courier power couple. Katherine flawlessly pulls off statement necklaces with long flowing mermaid hair, and Carlo is forever in a changing array of peacoats and scarves. When they went to ecofashion week together, I was like, “Dear Diary, I am jealous.” And I still am. Can you imagine what their baby would look like? I feel like it wouldn’t even be a real baby. It would be Snapchat #selfie of the two of them sitting in the office together. But with legs and a bowler hat and some crazy Nike Air limited editions on. They don’t even kiss and stuff — but that only makes them cuter. Kathy and Carlo are the Courier’s KIMYE, and we’re just living in their world. More couples should be like you guys, Kathy and Carlo, so you know… not couples at all.

I challenge you to look at every pout and pucker you can find under the #selfieoftheday hashtag.

Impressive, maybe, but they ain’t got nothing on my NASH face. What was originally an attempt at photo-bombing my two bosses and our staff writer at a journalism conference ended up being immortalized as a piece of postural genius by the quick camera skills of Faye Alexander. Yes, this is a shotgun review of my own visage. After all, what kind of narcissistic selfie model would I be if I didn’t take this opportunity? As a public service to the Courier’s millions of readers worldwide, I will also offer the following steps to recreate my glorious facial offering: Step 1: Spend three evenings of your life gathering and compiling entries for journalism awards, pro bono.

Step 2: Attend journalism awards the following month, pro bono.

Step 3: Fail to be nominated while watching organizers of awards gala repeatedly accept awards on behalf of their respective newspaper.

Step 4. Hit the bar. Hard.

Step 5: Sneer at table of happy winners/organizers celebrating across the room.

Step 6: Keep sneering. Never stop sneering.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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Faye Alexander is a strong, independent woman who don’t need no manicurist. But actually she does — her Beyonce inspired, Miley Cyrus resembling claws are more hardcore than a Nine Inch Nails album. I’ve never listened to Nine Inch Nails, but I assume they’re very, very hardcore. I honestly have no idea how she texts or types with them because they are so long and pointy — she said she broke her phone by dropping it in a toilet, but let’s be real — she probably just destroyed it with her finger swords and didn’t want anyone to find out. One time I heard her talking about how she washes hair at The Dye Lot and I wondered if she had ever cut someone, but at the same time I bet she’d give great head massages — as long as you were okay with it being a little rough. Faye has impeccable taste in coats, hair and eyebrows but above all else — she has both terrifying and incredible taste in nails.

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JEREMY HANLON CABOOSE EDITOR

CABOOSE@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

deXevolution (at its finest) Michael Ros × Writer The symptoms of de-evolving were subtle at first.

I found difficulty articulating ideas and processing thoughts and emotions - sudokus turned into a sort of cryptic death wish and the colour red began to frighten me. At first I thought it was just the caffeine withdrawal, but as soon as I started to furnish my apartment with stones and boulders, I knew it had to be something on a much higher plane.

In effect - my standards of living changed.

Bowls were used as coffee cups, soup was drunk from the recycling bin. Unfortunately, I set my electric kettle on fire when I placed it on the gas stove - and since I don’t know where to get another one, I have not taken a bath since.

Once evicted from my apartment, I took to sleeping and living in the nearest park I could find, on a brown bench that smelled like wood.

It was here that I grew hair on my back and forehead.

I’m in the park today, sitting on the bench staring at the grass, flicking my bic lighter on and off for entertainment. I notice, after several minutes,

that I share an occupant on the bench. There is a crow next to me, staring out into the distance, looking the way you might look as if wrestling with deep thoughts.

“The world is a strange place.” I say to the crow, unsure if I just grunted.

“The world is a strange place indeed.” The crow replies.

From the tone of his voice, I can tell he hasn’t had good conversation for some time. I begin to think of something to say.

“Have you ever been in love, Crow?”

And the crow replies, “Yes, once.”

“Tell me about it.”

“She was beautiful,” the crow says, “a girl with black eyes you could stare into for miles. With hair the same - hair that ran down her head soft and straight.”

It takes me a second to realize he is talking about another crow.

“In a way, I was unable to comprehend how we broke up. We were both afraid of the loneliness.

"In a way, I was unable to comprehend how we broke up. We were both afraid of the loneliness."

We both needed each other. We both needed the vague, confusing momentum.”

I blink twice. The crow takes a moment to exhale deeply and collect his thoughts. I’m unsure if this is actually happening, or if I’m simply imagining everything.

I break the silence. “And how do you feel about it all now?”

“I still imagine her with me.” the crow says. “I still imagine our conversations – where sometimes, I catch myself smiling and laughing, and only after do I feel lost and frightened, agitated and disappointed.”

I stare off into the distance. I reject starting this conversation with the crow. I stare into the park currently void of any dogs I could bark at.

“I'm going to leave you now,” the crow says.

“And what are you going to do in the meantime?” I ask.

“Wait for the rest of my life to approach me,” the crow says.

And the crow flies from the bench, into the sky until out of my field of vision. I sit, wondering what it could have tasted like. I flick my bic lighter on and off, 14 times.

up with an app idea and I’m fucked. What I didn’t realize at the time, was that when a company gets sold to a big name like Google or Yahoo, a lowly developer is more dispensable than a team leader.

Which is why when my boss announced that we had been purchased by Google and there would be some internal downsizing, I was one of the first to be handed my walking papers.

At this point the small chip in the windshield began to grow into a noticeable crack. I decided it would be best to get it inspected, so I went to see a career advisor in an attempt to find another job.

He told me that there weren’t many well-paying jobs to go around right now, but lots of startups are looking for developers. The problem with startups is that they don’t pay in the beginning. They are often a few developers in a small office space that work well into the night and get up first thing in the morning. I had no desire to go through that again. I also quickly learned that landlords are only

your friend when you pay rent on time and that not many people like being friends with someone that can’t afford their own tab. It didn’t take long for my friends to stop coming over or inviting me out with them.

What was once a chip has now became a crack that takes up the entire windshield. When that happens, the repairman is left with no choice but to put in a new pane of glass. And when I woke up this morning to the sound of an eviction notice being hung on my door, I knew I was getting replaced. I would move back home to Bellingham and take a job as an IT manager at a big company and start again. Meanwhile, some young kid would move into my old loft with the same dreams and ambitions that I had when my plane first touched down in the airport a decade ago.

Only maybe this time he will be smarter than I was and notice the first chip and get it repaired before it’s too late.

bug or windshield Gabriel Scorgie × Writer "Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the windshield." That was one of the first pieces of advice my dad ever gave me. Of course I was six at the time, and my ability to think abstractly was severely limited so I promptly regarded the advice as nonsense. However, as I lay here on the folded sheets I call my bed 16 year later, with the sound of the landlord hammering an eviction notice on door filling the now bare room, I find that saying running through my head over and over again.

Today I'm the bug.

I wasn’t always a bug. For a long time I would’ve considered myself the windshield. I had a great job as a software developer in Silicon Valley and was living in the kind of loft that I used to fantasize about as a kid. For the longest time, it was everything I could’ve ever dreamed about. By day

I worked at a company that I had been with since it was just a small startup. We were working on what seemed like a new revolutionary idea every day. And by night, my loft was often filled with the sounds of laughter and drinking. It was an odd night that there weren’t at least three people over to drink and have a good time.

When my luck began to change, it was so small that I hardly even paid it any attention. But like the first small chip in a windshield that eventually compromises the whole pane, it would prove to be my downfall.

It started when I didn’t get a promotion at work.

This came as no surprise, considering that I wasn’t all that interested in the promotion to begin with.

I was happy in my position as a developer. I had no desire to lead a team or manage. Those weren’t traits that I’m particularly good at. Give me a piece of code and I will find the syntax errors and debug it in a matter of minutes. However, ask me to come

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a meeting in a montreal studio Steve Tornes × Writer mind, and she peered in when she looked me in the eye. I told her about childhood friends, of love found and lost, and of time capsules buried with memory. Or perhaps I showed her these things.

Too late to sleep and too early wake, we stayed together, as winter froze time.

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Later, she left the group to find peace by blowing smoke into the night. After a moment, I joined her. Winter cigarettes bind people together with camaraderie; separated from the party, we lit each other’s smokes and talked.

On the couch, we got to know each other. Maybe I was too wasted to close the window of my

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I saw her standing there, surrounded by beer bottles and friends, dying by dull conversation. They were talking about education and work and money. Following the routine of conversation, they smiled and nodded, sometimes daydreaming of some other place. Perhaps the atmosphere made me too at ease, but I was drawn in, like pencil to paper.

× Vivian Liu

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THANKS FOR PICKING US UP! Summer advice: wear your sunscreen, eat your vegetables, swim naked, apply deoderant.