Capilano Courier / Volume 48 / Issue 3

vol ume

48

North Vancouver, September 22nd 2014

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N o . 03

Conscious Creatures Measuring the Intelligence of our

Animal Counterparts

CANNABIS CARDS

CAMPUS STEREOTYPES

JACKSON HOLE

PRIVATE PARTS

CAPILANO Courier

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

capilanocourier.com

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News

A+C

Art Shorts

Features

Opinions

Columns

Caboose

Jobless Immigrants

Naked Sushi

Classic Zeus

Travelling America

Missing Ships

Two on the Pink

Campus Stereotypes

Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

The Capilano Courier.

@capilanocourier

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The Staff

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@capilanocourier

Therese Guieb News Editor

of this emotional, fouled-mouthed, pink-eyed, double-crunching university newspaper

Andy Rice Managing Editor

Alva Tee Arts + Culture Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Faye Alexander Features Editor

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Gabriel Scorgie Opinions Editor

Carlo Javier Lifestyle Editor

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Brandon Kostinuk Web Editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

Michael Letendre, Rainer Kocsis, Sarah Bonin, Michael Pendreigh, Christine Beyleveldt, Tristen Schmidhauser, Simon Thistlewood, Nigel Ching, Keara Farnan, Holly Pavlik, Jeremy Hanlon, Tasha Salads, Kevin Kapenda CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:

​ ristian Fowlie, Ksenia Kozhevnikova, Samantha Smith, Olliemoonsta, Megan Collinson, Sydney Parent, Arin Ringwald, Crystal Lee, Scarlett Aubrey, Tyson Vick, Ekaterina Aristova, C J.R. Pinto

To advertise in the Courier’s pages, please contact our Advertising Director, Andy Rice, at 778-855-9942 or advertising.capcourier@gmail.com. We are proud to offer discounts to non-profit organizations and North Shore customers. A full media kit with sizes, rates and deadlines is available on our website, CapilanoCourier.com.

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Letter From The Editor Leah Scheitel, Editor-in-Chief

why wyoming “Well, go on down to Jackson. Go ahead and wreck your health. Go play your hand you big-talkin' man, make a big fool of yourself, You're goin' to Jackson. Go comb your hair” - Johnny Cash Let’s start this with something embarrassing: since the age of 13, every time I’ve taken a plane, I have imagined that Travis Rice sits next to me, and by the time the wheels hit the tarmac, he has fallen in love. Rice, for those of you who don’t know, is an acclaimed snowboarder who has made some of the most expensive Red Bull flicks in the past half decade. He also is from Jackson, Wyoming, which is where the story is going.

After months of planting, dentist appointments and shitty love affairs, I’d had enough. While sitting in the Prince George Kal-Tire, stealing free Wi-Fi while getting my tires rotated, I booked a trip to Colorado. I felt like a big girl – my Visa card, my vacation, and my fucking decision. I didn’t want anyone’s input, and I didn’t want anyone to come with me. But I did want to stop in Jackson along the way. I wanted to see what the Teton Mountains were all about, and maybe, just maybe, I would get to meet Travis Rice.

My intention with this trip was simple – smoke a bunch of Marlboro Lights, drink wine at every stop, and write out my broken heart. I lovingly dubbed it the “Smoking Darts and Breaking Hearts” tour. It should be noted that I don’t actually smoke, but for the purposes for this trip, I was a bonafide smoker, and I was going to lock myself in a cabin in Colorado and write my masterpiece.

I stopped in Jackson on a Saturday night in late July, quickly realizing its similarities to Banff and Whistler – a tourist town. This meant that getting a hotel room was going to be expensive at best and impossible at worst. I took my brand spanking new MacBook Air to a nice little bistro, bought myself a nice dinner, and started to write. And lucky for me, I remembered to brush my hair and wear a bra that day.

On my way back to my Jeep, which was doubling as my hotel room that night, I walked through the downtown core of Jackson and came upon an art gallery. The gallery was bursting with people – all very good-looking people – and cool art of mountains, surfers, and skateboards. It honestly looked like my version of a utopia.

“Is this an exclusive event?” I asked one of the handsome men outside. After he looked me up and down, he replied, “Not for you, come on in.” Again, let me re-iterate the importance of a bra.

I had just walked into Travis Rice’s art gallery opening.

The gallery, Asymbol, is the brainchild of Rice and curator Alex Hillinger, and featured the art and photography of the industry’s finest. Art from Jamie Lynn and photos from Scott Serafas graced the walls, each piece adding something to the entire gallery. It was a small space, with blinding white walls but it was beautiful. And for reason, I looked important. Still toting my new MacBook under my arm,

people mistook me for some important writer from Canada, an error I didn’t bother correcting. So after meeting Hillinger, he nicely said, “Let me introduce you to Travis.”

The 13-year-old girl inside of me started doing backflips, so naturally, I felt a little like vomiting.

And yes, I met Travis Rice. I kept my composure for the duration of our short conversation, which got interrupted by a blonde guy. I was almost thankful for the interruption. I needed a moment to breathe and digest what just happened. When I looked up, he was off on another conversation, and I was back to my glass of red wine.

At this point, I was convinced I was never leaving Jackson – it’s the land of dreams, cowboys and fruition. So when the same handsome man invited me to a bar, it was a natural progression to the evening. And I walked into a bar of men.

The bar, also owned by Travis Rice, was bursting with these guys – guys that are actually supposed to wear flannel, know how to use an axe and drive trucks properly. These were my kind of men. When I got to the bar, still toting my fucking computer, one guy asked, “Are you writing some shitty remake of Eat, Pray, Love?”

“Actually, yes,” I replied, “That is exactly what I am doing. Except I’m going to name it something more perverse like Drink, Smoke, and Fuck.”

“Just write out your broken heart,” he mocked, “Because no girl has ever done that before…”

The night kept showing me more reasons to love Jackson. Travis Rice found me to apologize for interrupting our conversation, and called me lovely. The bar made it’s own whiskey, spiced with cinnamon. And the Tetons, the mountains surrounding the town are stunning. One guy spoke of this mythical gas station that infuses their Slurpee machines with vodka, and I haven’t been able to stop talking about it since.

“But isn’t that bad?” I asked, “Doesn’t a DUI in the States look really bad on a record?”

“Oh it does,” he said, ”But this is still fucking Wyoming. We got this shit.”

This is still fucking Wyoming. And I’m going to spend my last year of school searching for a way back into my promised land. So when our Features Editor, Faye, asked me to write a piece about travel tips to the States, I jumped on the opportunity to promote it. And it’s the most fun I’ve had writing an article this year. Sometimes, the best work comes out of just pure enjoyment for the topic. Sometimes you meet the people who you’ve daydreamed about meeting for years, and they think you’re “lovely”.

And sometimes, one night can alter your life. You realize that you don’t want the night to end, and that means you’re home. I want to go home to Jackson.

The Voice Box

*

Tweets From Their Seats with

Andy Rice

The Voicebox is back, ready to humbly respond to your questions, concerns, and comments about anything. To inquire, just send a text to 778.855.9942 to anonymously "express" and "voice" your "opinion" and "thoughts" on any "subject" or "issue". And, as long as it's not offensive, we will publish it here, right in the Voicebox. It's a win - win, or whine - whine whatever way you look at it.

You guys need to lay off Dogwood. Why are you slagging off the school underdog? It’s cool in there.

Which of your fellow Courier staff members would make the best couple?

Good question. But before I answer this, I have to know — are you a sucker for drama or for the perfect happy-everafter love story? I can think of some pretty gnarly combinations and some pretty winning ones, so how about we play

*

Is there actually free pizza at this meeting you keep advertising or is this some kind of cheap trick?

Hey, we’re not assholes. Well, we kind of are, but we wouldn’t lie to you about pizza. On Tuesday, Sept. 23 in Maple 122 we are holding our annual general meeting where votes will be exchanged for slices of delicious pie.

Show up at noon and you can stuff your face and choose our board of directors for the coming year. You don’t get to choose the kinds of pizza though. That’s literally the only perk to my job.

Vivian Li @VivianTLi I made a Twitter to participate in Wizard Battles on Tumblr and to tweet my sudoku to @CapilanoCourier.

Michael Deppisch @deppisch My favorite new feature of the iPhone 6 is how it's still on a @UPS truck somewhere.

JRehling @JRehling I installed iOS 8 on my phone, plugged it into the charger, and all the lights in the city went out.

Faye Alexander @thecellardoor_ There is one guy dancing here, dancing like his life depends on it, dances like he believes again @commodorevcr‬ @Airbourne @CapilanoCourier Andy Rice @AndyRiceMusic Middle-aged guy on the bus is reading a copy of @CapilanoCourier. I'm sitting here trying my hardest to look like my photo in the masthead TJ Connelly @senatorjohn we may heckle #U2 and Apple, but think how wonderful it would be if cable TV let us delete the channels we don't want Sarcasticsapien @Sarcasticsapien I heard the new U2 album and it disproves that the best things in life are free.

T h e C a p i l a n o C o u r i e r . Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

Yeah, so the Dogwood building apparently sucks, according to our Arts Editor. I’ve actually never set foot inside there because I can’t keep a straight face whenever I hear the words “dog” and “wood” in the same sentence. She has all of her classes in there though, so I think she’s pretty entitled to that opinion. If it’s any consolation, our building is practically being absorbed back into nature by the maple trees that it’s named after. I’m actually worried that in five years, nobody will be able to find our office. There’s like three-and-a-half feet of foliage that dangles ominously outside our exterior windows and it always smells like pizza farts in here. Maybe that’s what’s been scaring away all the new writers…

a little game here. You take a look at the masthead on page two and draw lines between whichever staff members you think I should pair up, then tweet us a photo of the whole thing. In turn, I’ll tell you whether or not they’ve hooked up already or whether or not I’d allow it during our upcoming trip to Ottawa for a journalism conference. What I can tell you is that the relationship between our Editor-in-Chief and our Lifestyle Editor is so much like that of Buster Bluth and his mother Lucille that they’re being sued for trademark infringement.

Leah Mae @MsElleMae @jeremyjones Higher premier in Vancouver slightly inspiring. I walked up the hill home instead of taking the bus last night. #babysteps

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NEWS

THERESE GUIEB NEWS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

workplace equality NEW BILL CAN PUT AN END TO UNPAID INTERNSHIPS Rainer Kocsis × The Sheaf - Univeristy of Saskatchewan SASKATOON (CUP) — On June 16, New Democrat Member of Parliament Laurin Liu tabled Bill C-620, The Intern Protection Act, in the House of Commons. The bill is scheduled for debate this fall.

The enactment would amend the definition of “employee” in the Canada Labour Code to include unpaid interns, thus extending the same workplace protections that cover paid employees to interns who do not receive a wage.

“Currently in Canadian law, there is no reference to interns whatsoever, so right now there’s sort of a ‘wild west’ situation for interns in which no federal law protects them against abuse,” Liu said. “The bill would essentially offer all interns, both paid and unpaid, the same protections that paid employees receive.”

Liu and the NDP are hoping to end the exploitation of unpaid interns by placing a cap on the number of hours an intern can work. The bill would also grant interns the right to refuse dangerous work and offer them protection from sexual harassment.

“The standard hours of work are eight hours in a day and 40 hours in a week and that would mean interns would be entitled to one full day of rest per week and to nine annual statutory holidays,”

Liu said. “Moreover, rights to health and safety are included in the bill, so the right to know of any hazards that are present in the workplace, the right to receive proper training and the right to participate in identifying work-related health and safety concerns.”

The second part of the bill deals with the fact that interns are considered to be free labour by many employers. Liu hopes that the introduction of Bill C-620 will prevent companies from turning paid jobs into unpaid internships.

“What’s happening to them across Canada is that, unfortunately, employers are taking advantage of interns by replacing paid positions with unpaid internships,” Liu said. “First of all, that’s abusive. But it also obviously leads to races to the bottom in which unpaid interns are working in jobs previously occupied by paid employees.

The bill would force internships to be educational and to provide training equal to that offered in a postsecondary institution. Additionally, the bill would ensure that internships primarily benefit the intern and offer tangible training opportunities to the intern.

Youth unemployment is currently double the national average and many university graduates are having a hard time finding work after earning their degree. As a result, young workers must often resort to taking unpaid internships to start their careers.

“They’re faced with a very difficult labor market.

For many people it’s not a choice, it’s one of the only options that they have,” Liu said. “It’s a difficult economic period. If we look at youth unemployment, it’s been at a record high over the past few years, and it actually peaked at 14 per cent and right now it’s just a bit lower than 14 per cent.”

Currently, the bill is operating on a complaintbased system where interns would be responsible to report abuses.

“What this bill would do is it would provide the courts a new tool to examine whether or not the internship is legal,” Liu said.

According to Liu, the response from the other MPs has been positive overall.

“It’s part of an ongoing discussion in my caucus and my colleagues are really supportive of the bill… I’ve been working with Andrew Cash on this issue, who is an MP from the Toronto area, along with an urban worker strategy he’s been working on,” Liu said. “Unfortunately, the Conservatives have been pretty silent on the issue and we haven’t heard much from their side. As you know, we have a majority Conservative government so it’s essential to get support from the Conservatives in order for this bill to move forward in the House.”

Liu and the NDP have been trying to raise the pressure on Conservative MPs to support bill C-620.

“This affects people all across the country and these

are very basic protections,” Liu said. “It’s a question of fairness and safety.”

The bill is limited to federally-regulated workplaces and would not affect interns working in businesses or government institutions regulated by the provinces.

But it’s better than having no protections at all, which is what currently exists, Liu said.

“I think MPs are hearing more and more from their constituents about this issue, especially highprofile cases like Andrew’s,” Liu said. “There has been an increasing number of high-profile cases concerning companies abusing their interns so there’s definitely a lot of mobilization across the country. College students and young workers are writing to their MPs but there’s definitely a momentum in favour of offering these basic protections to interns.”

Liu is optimistic that her bill will become legislation.

“This bill was written with the goal of getting support from Conservative members because we do see an urgency to get this passed as soon as possible,” Liu said. “It’s really important that this be a non-partisan issue. When we look at the number of interns working across Canada today, which is up to 300,000 interns, it’s a national problem that we need to deal with, and hopefully we can work together to get this bill through the house.”

swiping green

BC PAIN SOCIETY RELEASES MARIJUANA GIFT CARDS

Faye Alexander

The Capilano Courier.

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× Features Editor

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“Having a membership card at the dispensary has changed everything for me. I have a safe place to pick up from that is controlled with better product than you can find on the street,” says Mark Somners, a using member of the BC Pain Society. “It takes all the sketchiness out of it and gift cards for purchase, why not? It’s all legal.”

In May, the BC Pain Society made headlines by unveiling Canada’s first marijuana vending machine at their Commercial Drive location, just weeks after Ottawa’s decision to outlaw BC’s cottage industry of cannabis dispensaries. Medical marijuana facilities continue to thrive in the city and draw a large variety of customers. Today, BC Pain Society has made waves once again by making gift cards available over the counter with denominations as high as $1,000 for dried marijuana, hash and accessories.

Although the gift cards will be easy to access by the public, redeeming them is another matter. “Anyone can buy a card, but you’ll need a membership to use it,” explains Brian Green of the BC Pain Society. The medicinal use of marijuana has proven to be helpful to those suffering from a myriad of illnesses including cancer, glaucoma, HIV/AIDS, nausea and general pain, among many others. “We have lots of cancer patients, we see a lot of members suffering from cancer or chronic pain, like chronic back pain,” says Green. Thousands of patients are currently federally exempt to possess and use marijuana under Health Canada’s Marihuana for Medical

Purposes Regulations (MMPR). BC Pain Society has just sweetened the deal for customers.

“A doctor’s note doesn’t do anything. They don’t actually prescribe it. All they do is say that you want to use, it’s not an actual prescription,” notes Green.

Currently, BC Pain Society has added a fulltime nurse to their staff and advertises medical consultations on site. “We have a nurse on staff for medical consultations throughout the week,” explains Green, “After a $40 consultation with our nurse, we give members a declaration form to take to a notary, which just declares they are not using the marijuana for resale or recreational use - that it’s medicinal. Getting a membership is very simple.” The form clearly states that the customer will be using the marijuana to treat a medical condition - it also absolves the BC Pain Society of “all liability however caused”.

“When the drug is being used so casually, and getting a prescription is as easy to access as seeing a nurse at the dispensary - and now there are gift cards? I think it promotes recreational use, not medicinal use,” says Greg Cheffin, a carpenter at IH Contracting. “You can tell by the people lingering around the dispensaries this isn’t just about pain relief. We might as well legalize it.” Yet, surprisingly acquiring a membership for a dispensary is not a matter of acquiring a doctor’s note. “A doctor’s note doesn’t do anything. They don’t actually prescribe it. All they do is say that you want to use, it’s not an actual prescription,” says Green.

× Ksenia Kozhevnikova With all the right forms and notes in place, citizens can become members of the BC Pain Society and gift cards can be redeemed for any of their products. Since the public release of their marijuana vending machine last spring,

memberships at the BC Pain Society have skyrocketed from hundreds to thousands of individuals. Most retail businesses, even small scale ones, now offer gift cards as a way to ensure the money spent stays within the business but BC Pain Society does not offer regular retail goods, thus conjuring concern amongst the public.

“My biggest concern isn’t the fact that people are using this for pain. My issue is the amount of people picking up their prescriptions in my neighborhood and smoking close by. The smell of it is just everywhere,” says Cheffin. Despite huge efforts to legalize marijuana, recreational use is still prohibited by law. According to a study released by the University of Victoria, BC residents use marijuana more so than any other Canadians, stating that there are more marijuana users than cigarette smokers in the province. Not to mention it’s big business. The study cites estimates that the cannabis industry in BC accounts for one to 2.8 per cent of the provincial gross domestic product, which makes cannabis sales worth possibly as much as $3.64 billion per year.

“People who smoke marijuana are going to keep smoking, whether they have prescriptions or not. The society is just making it safer and guaranteeing a high quality product to people with legitimate pain issues,” explains Somners, “The gift card doesn’t change anything, only members can buy with it.”

news

funding a future in bc IMPACT OF THE ESL PROGRAM CUTS ON IMMIGRANTS Sarah Bonin × Writer

In April 2012, the Canada-BC Immigration Agreement was terminated. The agreement, which allowed the provincial government to manage aid to immigration programs, including English as a Second Language (ESL) training, will come to an end on April 2015. This development will significantly increase hardships for newly-arrived immigrants for it will increase the challenge of meeting the legal language requirements prevalent in BC and ultimately getting a job.

Immigrants (and all other citizens) who wants to work or practice a specific position in British Columbia are required a certain level of proficiency in English, provided they possess the necessary professional skills. A majority of these immigrants won’t be able to find positions in their field of work because of language barriers. Many of them are relying on these free programs when arriving to the country with little to no savings.

“Professionals from other countries will have no other choice but to work low paying jobs without ESL classes,” says Karen Shortt, president of the Vancouver Community College Faculty Association (VCCFA).

Last spring, the provincial government paid $17 million to keep ESL programs going for the 2014-2015 year at many colleges and universities across the province including Vancouver Community College, BCIT, Douglas College, Camosun College, Langara College, Kwantlen Polytechnic University and CapU. In spite of that, the program's viability moving forward is shrouded in uncertainty. “British Columbia’s government needs to fund programs for adult education but they aren’t doing it,” argues Shortt. It remains to be seen what will happen of the ESL classes across the province next year.

Vancouver Community College (VCC) has been in a partnership with the provincial government for over 40 years, helping new immigrants and Canadian residents by providing ESL courses. However, VCC has recently announced programs cuts. “By December 17, ESL courses will be terminated at VCC. Two thousand, two hundred students will not be able to take ESL courses and 150 teachers will lose their jobs at VCC,” explains Shortt. On June 18, VCC had already laid off 70 of its ESL teachers.

Last year, Vancouver Community College launched the ESL Matters Campaign to re-es-

× Sarah Smith

tablish the funding to ESL class at VCC. Shortt is currently attempting to get a meeting with Premier Christy Clark. “We are trying to get the government attention but we need the public to start moving on the matter,” explains Shortt.

Immigrants who want to attend university are also required to satisfy several language requirements when applying to an academic program in a university or college. English for Academic Purpose (EAP) is, a full-time program offered at Capilano University that focuses on teaching the necessary skills to engage fully in academic courses. “EAP domestic students newly arrived and younger are looking to get in academic programs,” says Corey Muench, instructor in the EAP department at CapU. CapU created a new initiative last year specifically for international

students in the EAP program that are interested in CapU’s academic courses. “They have support from their EAP teachers inside their academic course. Also, the teachers meet regularly to talk about student process,” explains Muench. The idea is to give new international students the possibility of getting started with their first year credits in several programs such as Business Administration, Early Childhood Care and Education. Essentially, they are allowed to get a head start in their studies, all the while they're improving their English skills.

When asked about the potential repercussions on ESL students’ tuition, Muench says that ESL students used to pay domestic fees at CapU. CapU might be able to avoid similar turmoil.

“You probably won’t be seeing cuts in our pro-

gram since it’s mainly funded of international students’ fee,” says Muench. Since the fees paid by international students are higher than their Canadian counterparts, and the school is mostly funding the EAP program with the money from international tuition, it would appear that the program's size is largely dependent on the amount of money received from international fees. Therefore, the more international students that register at CapU, the more spots will be available for students in the EAP program. The ESL funding cuts would have very little impact on the EAP program if the university continues to fund it the same way.

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arts + Culture

ALVA TEE ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR

ARTS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

free weekend extraordinaire CULTURE DAYS DEVOTED TO ARTS + CULTURE Michael Pendreigh × Writer Culture Days is a free event celebrating the importance of art and culture to all Canadians. The pan-Canadian weekend of free activities, performances and community involvement is set for Sept. 26 to 28 with events held across BC and catered to all audiences.

Culture Days is a nationwide initiative devoted to fostering an appreciation for arts and culture in everyday citizens. The event implores Canadians to not only explore the rich culture in their communities, but to engage and become a part of the Canadian cultural experience. Nazanin Shojah, the coordinator of Culture Days in BC, describes the event as “a weekend of free activities to take the public behind the scenes to discover the true arts and cultural community.”

This is a relatively new initiative. Founded only five years ago, Culture Days is a non-profit organization dedicated to giving Canadians opportunities to access and participate in all forms of arts and culture.

“Culture Days started in metro-Vancouver,” Shojah says, “But throughout the years — we’re in our fifth year now — we’re constantly reaching out to communities… It’s definitely growing, and

we’re seeing more regional communities participating.” The main goal of the organization is raising awareness for the value of arts and culture. This goal is being realized as Culture Days activities are now popping up across the province. There are activities in Williams Lake, the Kootenays, Skidegate, Summerland, Penticton and other communities across British Columbia.

Culture Days is a community effort made possible by Canadians passionate about arts and culture. The event requires an immense amount of organizational work and promotion. “Most of all, what a lot of people don’t realize, is it’s all volunteer based,” states Shojah “We have at least 600,000 volunteers across the country making this happen.

These are people working in arts organizations, individual artists, municipal workers, you name it, and everyone’s making this happen together. It’s a collaborative effort.”

Getting involved is easy. “Put aside your fears and try something new,” encourages Shojah, offering a reminder that Culture Days has activities geared towards people who have no experience in the arts whatsoever. “These are all very open, friendly events where you’re not going to be judged for your artwork, or anything like that.”

On the North Shore, there are a plethora of free activities available for public participation, with the emphasis on ‘free’. Local events include

a Friday kickoff event in Shipbuilders’ Square, in lower Lonsdale. There, the mayors of all three North Shore municipalities will mix with the community while enjoying the activities, including the music of Fairfield Music’s instructors and students. This kickoff will coincide with the final Shipyards Night Market of the season. On Sunday, the Worldstir Group, a collective of North Shorebased theatre artists, will read excerpts from new work at the Presentation House Theatre in North Vancouver. These are just two of the many events being offered on the North Shore alone.

A multitude of Culture Days activities are accessible across the Greater Mainland as well. They range from pottery, arts and crafts, painting, sing-alongs, story-telling and abacus mathematics to exhibits, open rehearsals, galleries, studio tours, orchestra jams and films. The vast array of events includes individual experiences as well as group participation, and, in some cases, communal participation.

Culture Days also involves participation on a global scale. “There’s an artist, Joe Mandur, he’s carving a memorial pole, it’s a totem pole, and he’s invited everyone from all over the world to come carve it,” says Shojah, “He wants at least 3,000 people to help him carve it.” The memorial pole, dedicated to Mandur’s late teacher Frieda Diesing, will be carved in Terrace. The communal carving is an example of the level of inclusion artists and

organizations are offering.

Culture Days offers opportunities to be a part of something lasting in the community. When asked about her favourite activities, Shojah explains her thorough enjoyment for the collaborative projects.

“We’ve had projects where the community can get involved and be a part of a public piece of art…

At our kickoff event last year in Victoria, we had a large painting that everyone contributed to. Those kinds of projects I really enjoy.”

The community effort required in order to make Culture Days possible requires an inherent level of multicultural participation as well. “It’s a great opportunity to go and learn about the arts and cultures of various communities,” says Shojah.

During the weekend, activities are being offered by a wide variety of ethnic groups. Swahali art and dancing, Celtic singing and Filipino musical performances are a few examples of the multiple cultural communities partaking in BC’s event.

Whether someone may be a culture and arts aficionado or a novice to this world, Culture Days assures participants there will definitely be interesting and educational activities for everyone. A full list of events in the Vancouver area may be previewed at Culturedays.ca.

the flying fishmongers FROM HIGH SCHOOL GYMS TO THE ROXY Gabriel Scorgie

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

× Opinions Editor

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When bands are formed in high school, they’re usually for superficial reasons — a few friends who have just started to play think it’s a cool idea, or that it’ll help with girls. It’s rare that a high school band stays together. It’s even more rare that they end up playing gigs at a variety of downtown venues – including The Roxy — and recording a song with Garth Richardson, the producer of the hard rock band, Rage Against the Machine. However, this is exactly what North Vancouver-based band The Flying Fishmongers has done.

“Ali [the Fishmongers’ former bass player] had been talking to a friend he knew who had a pop-punk band at the time.” says guitarist Aydn Graham, “He and a few other bands from the Langley area were putting a little show on in some shitty hall in the middle of nowhere, and they needed another band to play. So Ali asked if I'd be interested playing with him.”

Today, the Flying Fishmongers is comprised of four members: Chad Carlsen on bass, Devon Webber on guitar and vocals, Adam Likness on drums, and Graham – switching between lead and rhythm with Webber.

The band’s unique name wasn’t something they chose themselves, but one they were given. “The first performance we ever had was at our high school [Carson Graham Secondary] where we did "Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine,” explains Graham, “Before we were going to go on though, they wanted our band name so they could properly announce our act. We'd

× Olliemoonsta actually been trying for quite some time to think of a name, but it's actually fucking hard to think of something that isn't lame…The emcees came around asking what our name was, and our friend yelled from the back of the audience that we were the Flying Fishmongers as a joke. So that's pretty much how we got the name.”

Graham believes that their eclectic taste in music is a reason why people have enjoyed their songs.

“We all share a love of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd,

Metallica, The Chili Peppers, The Foo Fighters and Tool,” he says. “Personally, I listen almost exclusively to metal — bands like Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden and Anciients. I absolutely have to mention Mastodon though, hands down my favourite band of all time…They're a huge influence on me personally… there’s also blues players like Robert Johnson and Stevie Ray Vaughan.”

Songs like “Not Going to School” are clearly influenced by shred-guitar bands of the 80s, like

Van Halen, while other tracks such as “Lonely World” feel more like the love child of Jimi Hendrix and Chris Cornell. “We try, when we're writing, to make something that is both catchy and musically interesting. That is the ultimate goal — because you don't want to sound generic.

That's boring. But at the same time you can't be too complex or you'll put people off. It's a fine line,” explains Graham.

Finding gigs hasn’t been difficult for the young band. “We've played at The Roxy, Joe’s Apartment, The Narrow's Pub, The Railway Club, The Troller Pub, The Hard Rock Casino, The Electric Owl, The Princeton Pub, etc.,” says Graham. Though not every gig has been a smashing success, he says that the band has managed to learn something from every show. “At the Electric Owl for example, we completely and utterly failed. We weren't bad, but we definitely weren't tight. But I think it's very good we went through that, we learned that we have to be better. We got to see how tight a band like The Racket is and that we gotta get to be at least as tight as them. You can learn something from every gig if you allow yourself to.”

Currently, the band is looking to get a lot of shows booked in October. Recently, they played at a block party in Langley on Sept. 13.

Graham and the band hope to work with Garth Richardson again soon to record an album, but they’re keeping their options open. “Chad's been researching people who could work with us, so hopefully we'll have something tangible in the next six months to a year. Or sooner, who knows?” In the meantime, all of their music can be found on Facebook, SoundCloud and YouTube under The Flying Fishmongers.

arts + Culture

don't lick this plate NYOTAIMORI - "NAKED SUSHI" COMES TO VANCOUVER Christine Beyleveldt × Writer If there is one city renowned unlike any other for seafood, it has to be the multicultural hub that is Vancouver. Japanese cuisine, and sushi in particular, is a favourite. For those who are a little more adventurous, the newest dining experience in Vancouver’s sushi industry is served on a living, breathing plate — one who has learned to accept that people will be eating from her navel on a nightly basis.

Nyotaimori translates to the practice of “serving [food] on the female body.” The so-called art of eating from a woman’s bare body is a custom that originated in Japan during the Edo-Samurai age. Low-class Geisha called the Makura-Geisha (the equivalent of Samurai-period prostitutes) would entertain male clients with sensual games, usually as a celebration for victory in battle.

However, the practice no longer involves licking wasabi or drinking sake from female parts, and it is no longer considered acceptable in Japan for reasons of public indecency and unsanitary food storage conditions. Some areas across East Asia have even gone so far as to outlaw the practice.

In the west, however, the concept has taken off as a popular trend in several cities from Las Vegas to Miami to Toronto. In Canada, a catering company called Naked Sushi was first conceived in Toronto, and recently opened a branch in metropolitan Vancouver.

One might assume that Naked Sushi caters to bachelor parties and highly buzzed crowds, but owner and founder Mike Keenan explains that there is a lot of misconception about the guests attracted to Nyotaimori dining. “It’s no frat party,” says Keenan, “Though [the events] do have a few funny incidents.” Naked Sushi dinners

× Meghan Collinson are often mellow and social etiquette is required, even if they do range from not-so-innocent birthday parties to after-pride events.

Naked Sushi adheres strictly to the safety and comfort of their sushi models. Interaction between plate and sashimi consumer is discouraged. Unless the model chooses to socialize with her diners, there is a hands-off rule as only the use of chopsticks is allowed. Keenan says the models feel that most customers are perfectly polite, and are often just perplexed with the eating arrangements. Trained chefs continually circulate the table, replacing sushi on a model’s body as the meal progresses. They also keep an eye on the party to ensure no hanky-panky ensues as most guests are known to become slightly more comfortable as the

dinner progresses. The dining experience from the model’s perspective is described as a friendly setting, and generally they don’t complain about lewd customers. “Our models feel safe in the company of the sushi chef,” says Keenan.

A sushi model’s training upon being hired typically includes practice in posing on a table for the full length of the meal, which can be up to two hours at a time. Models need to learn to concentrate on remaining perfectly still, resisting the urge to scratch an itch, sneeze or shiver, since the meal needs to stay chilled. They must also refrain from stretching cramped limbs, lest the sushi slide off.

When it comes time for dinner, the model will bathe and sanitize herself. She then receives a ki-

mono to lie on, a thong, double sided tape and a handful of flowers to cover her private parts.

Once in position, she can’t see any of her diners — only blurry chopsticks wavering above her as she tries to relax.

“We look for calm personalities that can endure the evening meal and remain comfortable,” says Keenan of the company’s audition process, adding that models must also have figures lean enough to balance sushi.

The sushi itself is prepared in a gourmet kitchen before being delicately presented on sanitized banana leaves, eliminating direct contact with the model’s skin. And while Vancouver Coastal Health conducts frequent inspections of every kitchen and dining room in the city, models don’t fall within that jurisdiction. “The original preparation and sourcing of the sushi has all been inspected,” explained spokesperson Anna Marie D’Angelo in a recent interview with Metro. “It’s like if you buy pizza from a pizza place. After it’s delivered to your door, we’re not involved with that at all.”

Despite abiding health regulations and ensuring the utmost safety and comfort of their models, Naked Sushi has faced vehement outcry from local feminists who say the practice of eating from a woman’s body is “gross, sexist, and objectifying.” The caterers and models themselves refer to it as a form of body art. Models who audition for this type of job are confident and comfortable with their bodies, choosing willingly to display them in what they believe to be a tasteful way. And regardless of opinion, the idea is undoubtedly an interesting centrepiece for any table, making for a memorable meal.

something old, something new TRADITIONAL CHORAL MUSIC AND INDIE ROCK UNITE Michael Letendre × Writer

× Coastal Sound Youth Choir

The choir is made up of 65 singers ranging from ages 14 to 23. Their first Indiekor performance in 2012 was held at Christ Church Cathedral. The next year, they added a second night. This past year, the choir was asked to play at the Vogue, a Vancouver indie rock landmark.

Year-round, the choir normally sings in the classical music sphere where audiences will sit in complete silence until a song is done. Tennant says the reception they got at the Vogue was unlike anything they had experienced. “The people were screaming in the audience. The kids in the choir felt like superstars.”

The documentary was filmed by Green Couch Productions and was made available to watch on Shaw On-Demand. Green Couch owner Michelle Allan felt the Indiekor concert was a compelling idea to film. “We’re huge fans of music education and we just liked what Carrie was trying to do,” she says.

Filming for the concert began six months before the big show. “We followed six of the choir members. We went to several practices leading up to Indiekor and then we were there at the final concert.”

The 25-minute film was funded by Telus as part of their Storyhive series, a Kickstarter inspired project where they award $5,000 to local film projects. “Even with a $5,000 budget,” Allan says, “It was still quite a stretch. We had to call in a lot of favours. It was a labour of love.”

The documentary goes beyond just capturing a concert. The heart of the film is the journey of the choir. “Expect a really inspiring story,” Allan says, “it’s about people connecting through singing and how it can change peoples lives.”

The documentary also captured a special moment when members of local indie mainstays Hey Ocean! came to the dress rehearsal and surprised the choir. “They couldn’t be part of the concert but they came in and gave the kids a lot of encouragement,” says Allan.

The choir was scheduled to perform a song

by Hey Ocean! that night called “Make A New Dance Up” and they ended up playing the song together at the rehearsal.

Hey Ocean!’s lead singer Ashleigh Ball says she first heard about the choir through Facebook after someone had posted a video of them singing one of their songs called “I Am A Heart.”

The performance had been filmed at one of the Christ Church Cathedral shows and Ball loved it.

“It was next level,” she recalls, “It was amazing.”

The band has played with the choir at several venues now, such as the PNE and the PuSh Festival, collaborations Ball describes as a treat. “They make our song way better,” she says, “You get an explosion of sound.”

For Tennant, the joy in leading the ensemble hasn’t been the accolades. It’s been from the people in the choir and watching them grow close together through music. “It breaks down barriers and makes a community,” she says, “I love that they have that community and that sense of family and that comes from just creating art together.”

For more information on Coastal Sound Youth Choir and their performances, visit Coastalsoundmusic.com.

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The right combination of anything can create something amazing. Coastal Sound Youth Choir combines indie rock with classical choral music in a series of concerts to make an entirely new experience called Indiekor, and it’s catching on.

The musical mash-up is the brainchild of the choir’s conductor, Carrie Tennant. While she only started the Indiekor concerts in 2012, the hype around them has grown exponentially. Their last concert was held at the Vogue Theatre and was filmed for a documentary for Telus.

Combining music that is sometimes separated by hundreds of years may not be an obvious choice, but Tennant claims that it sprung from a natural place. “I have a foot in both worlds. I love indie rock music,” she says, “But I’m also obsessed with the classical art form. I just decided to bring those two together.”

For their concert this past June, Coastal Sound Youth Choir combined music from various bands such as Fleet Foxes, Arcade Fire, Woodpigeon, Hey Ocean!, Dan Mangan and more with classical choral pieces. The Salteens, a local indie band that both Tennant and her husband play in, also backed up the choir this year.

Tennant believes that their Indiekor performances have a wide appeal and help to broaden the musical tastes of their audience. “They leave super excited about Mendelssohn and then there are also retirees who are looking up Woodpigeon on YouTube after.”

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art shorts

ANDY RICE ART SHORTS EDITOR

MANAGER.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

zeus

adam cohen

CLASSIC ZEUS

THE MEDIA CLUB, SEPT. 10

Andy Rice × Managing Editor While the newest release from indie rockers Zeus isn’t exactly a bolt out of the blue, it's a shift in direction for the Toronto foursome. After asserting their godly namesake in 2009 with a Polaris Prize-nominated debut album, Say Us, the band has worked hard to maintain their initial thunder, not afraid to experiment with their sound along the way. Their newest album, Classic Zeus, was released on Sept. 2 through Arts and Crafts records and channels more of a vintage vibe than their last.

It opens with “Where Is My Love,” a short but well-constructed tune that showcases the golden throat of multi-instrumentalist Neil Quin — a voice somewhere between that of Don Henley and Bob Dylan. Acoustic guitars and shifting drum grooves fade into the dancey single, “Miss My Friends,” which reveals some more modern sensibilities for the band. Zeus may be quirky, but not on account of trying too hard. Their lyrical and

melodic choices are sincere, and the arrangements of the album’s 11 tracks serve the songs first and the trends second. Sonically, the production does tend to be a bit dirty and over-saturated at times.

Wet reverb is a dominant presence throughout the record and a little more crispness would likely benefit the band’s harmonies and accentuate their instrumental competence. On “Bonnieview”, Zeus borrows from Crosby Stills and Nash in the same way that Fleet Foxes and other vintage-minded bands of today often do. Slowed down, “27 Is The New 17” could be a Jimmy Buffet song with its playful lyrics and country simplicity, while the outro to “One Line Written In” wouldn’t be out of place on a Neil Young record. Their newest collection of songs may be called Classic Zeus but the band’s inspiration clearly borrows from the classics of others who came before them. And although they won’t be the first or the last to do this, they certainly do it better than most.

Jeremy Jones' higher RIO THEATRE, SEPT. 17 Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief The Rio Theatre was packed with ski bums, industry reps and plaid-covered people armed with PBRs for the premier of Jeremy Jones’ Higher. The last chapter in a trilogy, Higher was preceeded by Jones’ two other films, 2010’s Deeper and 2012’s Further. All three of the films chronicle Jones’ adventures in the deep backcountry, accessing peaks and mountain spines that have never been ridden by skiers or snowboarders. Jones, a die-hard snowboarder, is somewhat of a backcountry God in the eyes of the snowboard community, making bigmountain snowboarding a reality. He’s spent years studying snow and detailing mountain spines to be able to confidently ride mountains such in the Grand Tetons and Alaskan ranges, and because of that, he has learnt to be patient. He often camps at a site for weeks at a time, waiting for storms to subside and maybe get the chance to ride the line he’s been studying for six months. And because of this, he is a humble man, and knows when to

pull the plug. Mother Nature is still the boss, and Jones respects that. This is a welcome change in the snowboard industry, which has been dominated by kids going bigger, risking more and ultimately hurting themselves in the name of not “pussing out”. Jones’ makes pussing out look hardcore, and his peers and fans respect him for that. Having not only one but three movies made solely about your travels and adventures can be deemed as endless self-love and promotion. And it doesn’t help that the producers of the film, Teton Gravity Research (TGR) is owned and operated by his older brothers (nepotism?) But with the 30-plus years Jones has dedicated to snowboarding, he deserves it.

He also founded Protect Our Winters (POW), a not-for-profit dedicated to lobbying for more environmental protection. He is a unicorn in the fact that he has been able to make snowboarding into a real career and by creating real change, and all unicorns are marvelled and treasured. Even longhaired dirtbag ones.

Andy Rice × Managing Editor Looking kind of like Jimmy Fallon and sounding kind of like his father Leonard, Montreal singersongwriter Adam Cohen is no stranger to comparisons. By all accounts, he’s pretty okay with it though — proud of his roots, comfortable in his own skin, and happy to pay his dues in a business he was practically born into. Touring in advance of his new album, We Go Home, Cohen stopped in at the 150-seat Media Club for a generous set that also included many favourites from his 2012 breakthrough album, Like A Man. He opened with “Too Real”, the lyrics of which could pass for a Justin Bieber song if not for the thorough filtering they received by Cohen’s seductive baritone. (“Because the words I love you were such a cliché / you never said them, what a mistake, baby baby” — I digress.) Surrounded by a five-piece band that included longtime producer Don Miguel, multiinstrumentalist Trish Robb, and a trio of dropdead gorgeous French-Canadian string players, Cohen unveiled his favourite cuts from the new album. “We Go Home” was clearly his Lumineers-

inspired radio single, “Put Your Bags Down” was a loving list of wishes for his young son, and “What Kind of Woman” was a playful conversation with a tech-savvy female version of the Lord, full of punch lines and innuendos. He sang it with a shaker in one hand and a fake telephone in the other. A crowd-pleaser to say the least, it showed if nothing else that he’s definitely a chip off the old block. “We’re playing at a festival in Victoria tomorrow and apparently we’re being joined on stage by a 60-person choir,” he said, before capping off the set with “Love Is” and asking the crowd to give him a taste of what that experience might be like. They happily obliged, and the sing-a-long continued during an acoustic encore that saw Cohen and his tour-mates abandon their amps and microphones for a poignant rendition of “So Much to Learn”. His youthful energy and intelligent songwriting were infectious, his love for his band was clearly visible, and his gratitude for his audience was made widely known. Perhaps Cohen doesn’t have quite as much to learn as he thinks.

airbourne COMMODORE BALLROOM, SEPT. 13 Faye Alexander × Features Editor The Commodore is thick with the smell of beer and sweat. There is hair cascading down the backs of well-worn AC/DC t-shirts and leather jackets.

The bathroom sinks are ripe with vomit before the headliners even make the stage, stacked sky high with Marshall amps. It can only mean one thing.

It’s about to get metal. It’s about to get hella loud.

Airbourne, an Australian hard rock outfit straight from the land down under, storms the stage. It begins to rain down fire and brimstone, a sea of fists thrashing towards the wailing sound of metal riffs and swinging, sweaty headbangers. The performance is a face-melting 12-song set, an hour of

pure power that boasts synchronized headbanging and the manic spinning of flowing man hair.

Touring on the heels of their most recent album Black Dog Barking, watching Airbourne is like being transported to an era of rock that has been left by the wayside. It’s sleaze-rock at its finest with the sexualized screams and growls of lead singer Joel O’Keeffe filling every inch of the venue. Like a seasoned veteran of rock ’n’ roll, he chugs down a bottle of wine on stage and never misses a beat.

He’s hanging off the speakers and spilling beer into a ferocious crowd that devours everything in its path. By the end of the set, O’Keeffe is crowdsurfing above them with his guitar, still riffing madly without ever missing a note. Who does that? Long live rock ’n’ roll!

elton john

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

ROGERS ARENA, SEPT. 13

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Andy Rice × Managing Editor

With his 1973 masterpiece Goodbye Yellow Brick Road coming off the glitzy red heels of its 40th anniversary year, Sir Elton John has been giving its songs a little extra attention over the past few months. The Rocket Man himself is no spring chicken either, having recently turned 67, although his agelessness and longevity would have most fans believing otherwise. John was in fine form for a near three-hour concert at Rogers Arena on Sept. 13, seemly unconcerned about pacing himself for a second show the following night. Stacked to the brim with hits, just about anything on the 24-song set list could have been an encore — from rarely performed treasures like “Candle in the Wind” and “Holiday Inn” to the obligatory classics “Your Song” and “Bennie and the Jets”. Whether alone at the piano or joined by a dapper five-piece band, Captain Fantastic had

the sold-out Vancouver audience singing along as he treated them to a seemingly endless parade of hits. John is a versatile songwriter and an intricate piano player, but also an energetic performer.

Certainly, his on-stage acrobatics and stratospheric falsetto — at one time signature elements of his concerts — have calmed significantly, but in their place is a regal sense of comfort and a soulful baritone delivery that puts his songs in an entirely new light. Even the three newest numbers — carefully chosen from John’s most recent albums The Union and The Diving Board — were met with gratitude instead of the usual exodus to the lobby for refills. A solo mash-up of “Circle of Life” and “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”, was a mind-blowing way to end the show, and hardly something the omni-generational crowd was expecting. “I forgot I wrote this one,” he said, before playing a spotless rendition that sounded even better than it did on the Lion King soundtrack of 1994. From pop to rock to even Disney, the crowd left ecstatic. Saturday night was definitely more than just alright.

Calendar Mo 22

Chet Faker Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $20

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Fr

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Venue 8 pm $32.50

Speed Dating M 22

August Jack 7:30 – 9:30 pm $ - superficial conversations

Movie Mondays M 22

Your lover’s house All day $ - burnt popcorn

M 22

This dream pop duo are brining their “Northern Exposure” tour to Venue for a two nights. Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, these guys have been on the indie scene since 2004, and have a kind of modern surf sound. Think Beach Boys meets Spice Girls. And they just seem cool, like people I want to be friends with.

If your dating life is anything like mine, you may need this night of conversations. Imagine the things you’ll talk about: table tennis, the American strategy with ISIS, why Walter White is such a badass – at least that’s what I’ll be talking about.

Others may be more prone to conversations about the weather. But those are just the boring ones.

Yes folks, it’s your favourite day of the week: Movie Mondays. This week, we are promoting Indiana Jones and the Raider’s of the Lost Arc, because along with columnist Holly Pavlik, I also have not seen this yet. Follow along with the column and see if you agree with Holly’s commentary on an apparent classic.

Therese's Birthday

Courier's AGM

Die Antwoord

Meditation

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Maple 122 12 pm $ - we give you pizza

T 23

PNE Forum 6 pm $37.50

T 23

Vancouver Public Library 7 pm $ - free

T 23

Today is our News Editor’s 20th birthday. Yes, that does make me eight years older than her, and yes, that does mean that you are good at math if you figured it out on your own. She’s awesome and talented and has a better voice than some angles do. So be a gem and take her to Fleetwood Mac. It would make her the happiest birthday girl and I can’t afford it.

Did you know that if you are a student here, you are automatically a member of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society? And as a member of that society, you are able to vote on important things, such as people on our Board of Directors and such. It also means that we give you free pizza if you attend. So come, eat our pizza, and vote! It’s the best combination of food and democracy.

These guys are freaky, and that’s why people like them a lot. Or at least that’s what they sing about.

The South African natives will be performing at the PNE forum, and it will prove to be a dance party to crazy beats, like they made their reputation on. That and for blowing off Lady Gaga when she wanted to collaborate with them. I wonder how many Red Bulls they drink to perform? Any guesses?

Is your life so busy that you can’t carve out 15 minutes for yourself? Try meditation, as it really is 15 minutes without any hassles, text messages or Facebook updates bothering you. There are seminars offered at Vancouver Public Library on meditation techniques, based on the teachings of Sri Chinmoy.

Tranquility. Peace. Love. Without my sarcasm.

CSU Board Meeting

Sam Smith

Fresh Towels

The Orwells

CSU Maple Offices 5:30 pm $ - some curiosity

W 24

Orpheum Theatre 6:30 pm $35

W 24

Lido Café 9 pm $ - free

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Rickshaw Theatre 8 pm $18.50

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Did you know that Stephen Harper first dipped his dirty toe into politics by getting involved at his university? Okay, that’s a total lie. I have no idea where or when Harper first started politicizing, but it was a weak ploy to direct your attention toward the CSU Board meeting. They talk about important things that students should know about. Also, go to keep our girl Therese some company. She will be there, reporting on it all.

This guy blew up in the last year, but I only knew of him when he was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live in the spring. My pop culture knowledge sucks, especially if I’m getting everything I know from a late-night comedy show. Anyone want to verse me on who this guy is and where he is from?

All I know is that Carlo is very disappointed that he didn’t get tickets in time. If you have an extra ticket, he promises to be a stylish date.

Sometimes, you have to wonder how events get their name. Was the organizer running out of time – like three days past deadline – to name his new comedy show, and looked at some fresh towels from the dryer, and said, “That’s it. That’s going to be the name of my comedy show and it’s going to be a hit”? This show does feature the comedy of the Sunday Service, Ivan Decker and Graham Clark, among others. It sounds almost as good as fresh towels smell.

These guys gave a performance on Late Night with David Letterman that was so good that Letterman himself demanded an encore. And yet, with the audience pressure looming, the band denied due to broken guitar strings. This five-piece band has perfected a harsh rock sound that makes me think rock and roll might even survive after what Nickleback did to it. This show promises to be good, and it’s cheap. Get into it.

Big Wreck

Yes Bear

Emotions

VIFF Begins

Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $35

Th 25

Cobalt 10 pm $10

Th 25

Brooklyn Bar (91 Powell St.) 8 pm $ - any courage at all

Th 25

Various Theatres Various times Various prices

Th 25

This is a classic Canadian band — just when you think they are done with their rock dream and are raising two children in the ‘burbs of some city, they come out with another tour, album or revival (think GOB, Matthew Good Band, Tragically Hip, Sloan…) I remember these guys because they had that song titled “That Song” which was featured on Big Shiny Tunes 4. That album was on repeat for all of 1996.

YesBear’s front man is our own Stefan Tosheff, the Courier’s production manager in 2012/2013. He was very good at drawing comic book-like characters, being nice to everyone who he encountered, and playing guitar. So in the spirit of being nice and supporting friends, go to Stefan’s shows. If it helps, all members of Yes Bear are total babes.

Emotions is a open-mic event featuring art, spoken word poetry, singers, songwriters, comedians, and basically any other creative type you can think of. All are welcome to come and show off their hidden talents. I often think I’m pretty funny, but doubt I would ever have the courage to stand up and show people that I was funny. But if you have the courage to, you just became my biggest idol.

The 33rd annual Vancouver International Film Festival premiers and with 32 years of practice, this one promises to be just as good as the past festivals. Expect to see over 350 films from over 70 countries, and in every genre you could want: horror, comedy, romance, romantic-comedies, dramas, etc. There is something for every film lover, including your most cynical of friends.

People United Will Never Be Defeated

BC Culture Days

The Comeback

Kopecky Family Band

BlueShore Performing Arts Centre 11:45 am $ - free

Various Venues Friday – Sunday $ - free

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Emily Carr 7:30 pm $ - free, unless you buy something

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Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $12

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This is a cool thing that happens on campus. Cap Classics is a lunchtime concert series featuring different artists, pianists, and violinists throughout the year. This Friday, pianist Corey Hamm performs, and according to the brochure, he is one of Canada’s “foremost interpreters of contemporary music”. And all concerts are free. See, kids, it doesn’t cost much to get cultured.

BC Culture Days sounds kind of cool. Two hundred interactive and free activities are poised to entertain you for the weekend. Hosted throughout the city, there are a variety of events, artists, musicians, dance, theatre, architecture, and basically anything else that could be considered cultural.

It’s like the ultimate variety show.

Emily Carr is hosting their annual comeback, an art show dedicated to their alumni. Apparently, there will also be a panel discussion on “breakthrough moments and creative growth.” There will be the most recent works of over 20 alumni. My friend Adam Archer went to Emily Carr. I don’t think he’s in this, but it would be cool to see his work anywhere.

These guys aren’t actually related by blood, but they are related by friendship. The Nashville six-piece have been together since the fall of 2007, and that’s seven years of solid friendship. Also, going on tour with five other people, sharing small hotel rooms and van spaces, and seeing each other at the absolute highest and lowest points can definitely make you feel like family. So yes, these guys are a family and they are playing at the Biltmore. It promises to be better than anything my brother and I could perform.

Tove Lo

Russell Peters

Pinback

Ira Glass

Venue 7 pm $18

S 27

Rogers Arena 8 pm $40 +

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The Imperial 8 pm $20

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Vogue Theatre 7:30 & 10 pm $37.50 – $57.50

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Tove Lo has a song about wanting to stay high. It was on the airwaves all summer, and was catchy – too catchy. It would stay in my head for days at a time. Even with the amount of times that it has been stuck on repeat in my head, I still don’t know if she’s singing about wanting to stay high on love or some psychedelic drug I have yet to try. It really could be either, depending on the mood you’re in.

The current king of Canadian comics graces the stage at Rogers Arena tonight. Imagine making to so big as a comedian that you sell out places with as many seats as Rogers Arena. Does no one else find that mind-blowing? Anyways, if you like jokes centred are race and different cultures, this guy is your funny-man.

These guys stole my heart when I first heard their song “Penelope” on a snowboard video in 2001. I melted even more when I found out that it was a love song dedicated towards a goldfish. Any band that writes a love ballad to a goldfish are geniuses in my books. Now to just get them to write a love ballad about me….

The host of the beloved This American Life podcast has two shows at the Vogue. Originally, it was only one show at 7:30, but that beast sold out so quickly that they added a second 10:00 performance. And yes, I am one of the reasons the first one sold out. I sat there, with my credit card ready, and spent too much money on one ticket. Really, it’s what any This American Life fan would do.

Old Crow Medicine Show

Harland Williams

Crowbar

WFC Fundraiser Community Day

Orpheum Theatre 7 pm $35 – 60

Su 28

During the summer of 2011, I didn’t go a day without hearing that “Mama Rock Me” song from these guys. I don’t even think that’s what the song was called, but that’s how I knew it by.

Also, it was the most popular song to learn on guitar from by my tree-planer dirtbag friends.

Guess these guys are still rocking. If you like twangy, wholesome folk music, this will likely be your most favourite show this fall.

The Comedy Mix 8 pm $28

Su 28

Remember that scene in Dumb and Dumber where the cop pulls them over (“No, it’s a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!”) and then takes a sip of what he thinks is beer, but is in fact, Lloyd’s urine? And then he starts kind of gagging as they drive away? Well, if you liked that scene, see him in person. He’s doing his standup at the Comedy Mix. Maybe he will actually drink urine, but that seems like a long way to go for a joke.

Rickshaw Theatre 7 pm $20

Su 28

Crowbar is apparently “sludge rock” from New Orleans. I have never heard of sludge rock before, and therefore cannot tell you if this is any good or if you should go for the music. What I can tell you is that the Rickshaw is the best place to hit on punk rock boys in the entire city, and they usually have pretty cheap PBRs. So go for the sludge rock and stay for the punk rock boys. Also, if you do go, please tell me what sludge rock is.

Hastings Racecourse 1 – 5 pm $20

Su 28

Dressing up is the best way to feel classy, and feeling classy is one of my only known cures for a hangover. The Hasting Racecourse is hosting a fundraiser for the Westcoast Family Centres, who provide services to children and families in the area. The dress code for the event is black and white, and I’m already imagining me in a beautiful white dress and the dashing men in black suits. Siggggghhhhh.

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@capilanocourier

Oh man, some panties may get a little wet at this show. This guy is such a dreamboat that I’m sure there will be more than one girl trying to find a way backstage at the Commodore.

Luckily, I did get backstage once, so maybe my bouncer friend Carl will let me slither backstage, especially if I slip him 20 bucks. Eat your heart out, Other Groupies.

Everywhere All Day $ - A Fleetwood Mac ticket

We

@capilanocourier

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FEATURES

FAYE ALEXANDER FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

WILD MINDS

× Christian Fowlie

Consciousness in all animals Alva Tee

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

× Arts + Culture Editor

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Throughout the course of evolution, humans have shared their environment with intelligent animals. It's easy to overlook the fact that we are just intelligent animals ourselves. Our animal counterparts have minds of their own — but to what degree of intelligence has always been the question when scientific minds call into question the minds of non-humans.

In 2012, an international group of scientists consisting of neuroscientists, neuropharmacologists, neurophysiologists, neuroanatomists, and computational neuroscientists signed the Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness. The continual new discoveries in the field of consciousness lead the group of scientists to reevaluate the definition of intelligence and the equality between humans and non-humans.

Not only does intelligence help define consciousness, but the feelings and the emotional state that an organism experiences do as well.

As the Declaration states, “Artificial arousal of the same brain regions generates corresponding behavior and feeling states in both humans and non-human animals.” There are an incredible amount of similarities between the reactions of humans and other animals.

In the Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness, these brilliant minds declare, “The absence of a neocortex [the most evolved part of the brain that focuses on sight and hearing in mammals] does not appear to preclude an organism from experiencing affective states. Convergent evidence indicates that non-human animals have the neuroanatomical, neurochemical, and neurophysiological substrates of conscious states along with the capacity to exhibit international behaviors.”

There is a misconception that human beings are the utmost intelligent creatures on the planet – but

scientific minds are beginning to challenge that widely accepted idea.

“Consequently, the weight of evidence indicates that humans are not unique in possessing the neurological substrates that generate consciousness.

Non-human animals, including all mammals and birds, and many other creatures, including octopuses, also possess these neurological substrates,” states the Declaration.

HUMANS AND NON-HUMANS “We can be sure that at least one species of animal is conscious and aware – the human species of animal,” says Dr. Leonard George, chair of the Psychology Department at Capilano University.

“The question of consciousness in other animals comes down to inference.” As more information is gathered regarding the field of consciousness, studies of non-human animals show that they have the same brain flow that affect conscious experience and perception. Scientists are now trying to determine if the use or disturbance of these is necessary for them to have those experiences.

“The psychological features and behaviors that are closely linked to consciousness in humans are also found, in varying degrees, in non-human animals,” says Dr. George, “These similarities give us a pretty firm basis for inferring something like our form of consciousness in them.” Examples of this include the artificial arousal of the same brain regions that can generate behavior that corresponds with the state of feelings in both humans and nonhuman animals. The sense of instinct is one that has proven to be engrained within all animals from the moment they are born, and is something the Declaration supports.

Aside from internal similarities, George thinks

humans and non-humans also have outward similarities. “Humans and other animals share many traits,” he says, “for instance, frogs have three behavioral programs. If they meet an object that is larger than them, they hop away. If they meet something that’s much smaller, they try to eat it.

And if they encounter something about the same size, they try to have sex with it. I’ve seen similar behavior in certain bars and nightclubs.”

As abrupt as that example may be, it's still a result of automatic reactions from an animal.

Self-recognition in a mirror is another trait that has been found in magpies, great apes, dolphins, and elephants. Even in an unconscious state of mind, animals have exhibited similar behavior to humans. Certain species of birds have been found to have neural sleep patterns and are able to experience Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep, which is the deepest state of sleep one can experience.

Beyond that, general discoveries have also been made that lead humans to believe that animals possess a higher understanding.

SIGNIFICANT OTHERS In 2006, capuchins, a New World species of monkey, were taught the concept of money by a Yale economist, Keith Chen, and a psychologist, Laurie Santos. The capuchins were given a silver disc with a hole in its center to represent a dollar of currency and showed that they could exchange this token for Jell-O. Researchers also allowed the exchange for fruit at a higher price. After numerous repetitions of this trade, the monkeys understood and were able to spend their money wisely by getting more Jell-O than fruit because they could buy more.

The monkeys grasped the idea that something

could be exchanged in return for something else quickly. There was an incident where a token was exchanged for sex, and the other monkey later used the token to “buy” a grape. Chen and Santos’ experiment with the capuchins demonstrate behavioral economics and systematic decision making biases – the same biases CapU students face while gaining financial independence.

In 2010, Paul the Octopus from the Sea Life Centre in Germany shocked the world. Paul was able to pick the winners of the FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association) World Cup with a 85 per cent success rate as he correctly predicted the winner 11 out of the 13 times.

During the different matches, Paul would be presented with two boxes containing food. The contents inside each box would be the exact same except they would be decorated with the team flags of the competitors of an upcoming football match, and whichever box Paul ate from first would be the predicted win for that match.

Experts have theorized that this behavior from common octopus Paul could be pure luck or the fact that he was more attracted to the smell of one box over the other. George bets that it was simply coincidence.

During the initial media blitz surrounding Paul’s unique story, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) released a statement.

“Octopuses are some of the most intelligent of invertebrates, with complex thought processes, long and short-term memories, and different personalities,” it read, “They can use tools, learn through observation, and are particularly sensitive to pain.”

Daniel Fey, Sea Life’s entertainment director, said that Paul demonstrated intelligence early in his life. “There was something about the way he looked at our visitors when they came close to the

ON the Cover shown to have the ability to use simple tools.” They are able to make homes, and items to defend themselves out of their surroundings, just like humans do. “In some intellectual tasks, non-humans can be superior to humans,” Dr. George continues, “Monkeys are better at recognizing upside-down faces.”

No matter what, animals develop skills that best suit their own specific needs for survival. The definition of intelligence for humans and non-humans can very well be the same. “If we view human and non-human animals as varieties of information processing systems, there is no need for different definitions,” says George.

WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

Cristian Fowlie Cristian Fowlie is a jack-of-all-trades creative, with dreams of owning a sphynx cat and working for Kanye West. See his work at Cristianfowlie.tumblr.com

"The desire to make contact and create a line of communication between humans and non-humans will continue to captivate scientific minds." tank. It was so unusual, so we tried to find out what his special talents were.”

However, the definition of intelligence varies much beyond the way an octopus looks at the crowd passing by his tank.

DISCUSSING INTELLIGENCE

MYSTERY OF CONSCIOUSNESS Inferences can be hard to make as to whether animal consciousness is wrong or right, but the fact that the belief is there has to be acknowledged. If everything needed concrete proof, we would be sure of nothing in this world. “Maybe all nonhuman animals are just robots,” says Dr. George, “Come to think of it, maybe all of my students are robots too. I can’t prove otherwise. That’s what keeps me awake at night.”

Too many things that aren’t tangible are often dismissed as something to be skeptical over. “Some people believe that the very concept of ‘consciousness’ is flawed – that it’s not a scientific idea because it can’t be measured, or that it adds nothing to scientific explanations of behavior,” he says, “I tend to side with those who think that we can’t escape the mystery of consciousness so easily.” After all, there are more things in life other than just consciousness that can’t be proven, such as the feelings and emotions one can experience. It's a fact that animals can register situations just the same as humans, and now it is officially stated on paper.

Dr. George says, “Subjectivity may be hard or impossible to get at using objective methods, but that doesn’t automatically mean it isn’t real.”

"Frogs have three behavioral programs. If they meet an object that is larger than them, they hop away. If they meet something that’s much smaller, they try to eat it. And if they encounter something about the same size, they try to have sex with it."

T h e C a p i l a n o C o u r i e r . Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

Intelligence is not the same as consciousness, as one could have an intelligent non-conscious system. “Intelligence has been defined in many ways,” says Dr. George, “Most of the recent definitions involve the capacity to process information about oneself and the world in order to set and reach goals. The more effectively we can do these things, the more intelligence is present.”

The recognition of how intelligent animals can be is evident in Vancouver’s recent ban of whale breeding, with the exception of threatened species, in the Vancouver Aquarium.

“On July 31, the Vancouver Parks Board unanimously approved a motion concerning the Vancouver Aquarium,” says Daria Wojnarski, communications coordinator at Vancouver Park Board, “Including an amendment to the Parks Control Bylaw to ban the breeding of captive whales, dolphins, and porpoises in Vancouver parks, unless they are a threatened cetacean [marine mammals commonly known as whales, dolphins, and porpoises] species.”

Attention was drawn to the issue after a myriad of feedback through emails, public comments, and enquiries from thousands of concerned residents was received calling for a discussion about intelligent animals being raised in captivity.

UBC doctoral student Valerie Vergara discovered that belugas use a variety of distinct, straightforward calls that are learned from their compan-

ions to communicate with each other. Though these contact calls can be masked by boat noise, beluga whales have mastered a specific call type to maintain contact with each other especially between mothers and calves. Echolocation, the detection of where objects are through the vibrations of acoustic sound, is a technique Pacific white-sided dolphins have learned to help detect and avoid fishing nets. Both of these species of cetaceans are currently in captivity at the Vancouver Aquarium.

Though the Vancouver Aquarium has done a good job in tracking these skills for further research with hopes of better understanding the whales, it is important that cetaceans don’t lose the ability to form these natural habits, and that they are able to develop them as needed.

The Board passed this motion after hearing from 76 speakers, Aquarium representatives, as well as Dr. Joseph K. Gaydos, who is the chief Scientist at UC Davis Wildlife Health Center’s SeaDoc Society Program.

“In approving the motion and four resolutions, the Park Board struck a balance between supporting the good work of the Aquarium and recognizing residents’ strong feelings about cetaceans in captivity,” says Wojnarski.

There are continual discoveries in the study of animal behavior that speaks to the spectrum of non-human intelligence. Trying to completely understand where it all comes from is something that we might never be able to do without the ability to communicate with species outside of our own.

However, the desire to make contact and create a line of communication between humans and nonhumans will continue to captivate scientific minds.

“The more research is done, the more we’re finding that they’re smarter than we think,” says Dr. George, “For instance, bears and crows have been

At the Francis Crick Memorial Conference held in July 2012, Philip Low, author of the Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness said, “We came to a consensus that now was perhaps the time to make a statement for the public… It might be obvious to everybody in this room that animals have consciousness, but it is not obvious to the rest of the world.”

With this Declaration signed, it means that the standards of discoveries will now be pushed higher as scientists will challenge themselves to beat the current discoveries and provide new data to back it up. It is very much possible that interesting discoveries can be made in the future regarding animal consciousness and awareness.

“I’m very interested in quantum biopsychology – a field that explores the possibility that quantum mechanical processes are involved in the functioning of the nervous system,” says Dr. George, “It’s mainly a speculative field at the moment, but there is some evidence that quantum mechanical events within the structure of proteins inside neurons may be tightly correlated with conscious experience.”

He believes that if it proves to be so, another relevant similarity between non-humans and humans will be discovered.

Though for all we know, each and every bit of knowledge we have gained to this day could be proven wrong centuries from now. “Things will get really exciting if we ever meet complex extraterrestrial life forms,” says Dr. George, “Their behaviors may be so weird that none of our definitions of intelligence or unintelligence apply.”

“Of course, they might already know about us, and have decided that we lack intelligence,” he continues, “In one corner nowadays, we have people dumping buckets of ice-water on their heads. In

another corner, we have people chopping off other people’s heads, and everyone is uploading the videos.” Dr. George questions if humans sound like very intelligent species, “I wouldn’t blame the aliens for preferring to make contact with kitty cats rather than humans.”

This Declaration is also a step towards the hopes that animals will be treated better as scientists find new ways to classify non-human animals near equivalent to humans. Justifications as to why animals are tested and experimented on have included the reasons that they cannot feel and that they lack consciousness, despite what the loving owners of domesticated animals might say. For a group of experts to get together and make such a claim that consciousness is present in animals is a major breakthrough.

British philosopher Jeremy Bentham once wrote, “The question is not, ‘can they reason?’ nor, ‘can they talk?’ but, ‘can they suffer?’”

“A conscious being is one that can suffer,” states Dr. George, “If you believe – or strongly suspect – that many animals are conscious, and if you eat food produced by industries that inflict terrible discomfort on animals, then I’d say you have a lot to chew on.”

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FEATURES

FAYE ALEXANDER FEATURES EDITOR

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

it's go time THE COURIER'S GUIDE TO TRAVELLING IN THE STATES Leah Schietel × Editor-in-Chief Even before the textbooks get read, the twitch starts. Instead of looking deeply into the assigned readings, students are looking longingly out the window. As well as marking down the due dates for the looming essays, in bigger words are the dates of long weekends and potential getaways, highlighted and circled by decorative stars. Students in Vancouver are lucky, as there are many destinations only a short distance away, including Whistler, Vancouver Island, and the Okanagan.

But the destination that holds the most intrigue is, of course, the United States of America.

With a 45-minute drive, one can be in the land of shitty beer, cheap gas and legalized weed. But there are some unknown hazards when travelling cross-border that can cost a pretty penny if overlooked. So here at the Courier we’ve compiled a list of things to watch out for and got some expert opinions from people who travel south so often that they should be considered honourary citizens (especially in Disneyland). In return, we only ask to be invited on your next trip down. With our unintended wit and knowledge, we make excellent travel companions.

Thing To Watch #1: Roaming Charges Even when close enough for phones to flirt with cell towers in the States, the roaming charges start racking up. If gone unnoticed, they can add a whopping amount onto the next monthly phone bill.

“Always, always, always turn your data roaming off. I once took a day trip down to Seattle to a music festival, and even though I left and came back within a 24-hour window, I had over $400 of roaming fees,” says JJ Brewis, a Vancouver-based writer who has a penchant for Disneyland and anything US-bred, “Luckily, I played stupid and

batted my eyelashes and my pleas were met with a waiver of all of those nasty charges. But that was a one-time deal, so I learned my lesson.”

If cell phone service is often needed to make plans with friends or find out where that little karaoke bar in Portland is, some phone companies sell bundles for United States travel. “I'm with Rogers and they offer various travel pack add-ons that you can purchase. They usually are a set fee and last 30 days, so you need to weigh out if it's worth it to you to purchase one or to just not use your phone,” says Brewis.

There are other alternatives for phone communications too, such as a purchasing a Gevy SIM card, but as Reuben Krabbe, a Whistler-based ski photographer, warns, they can be fickle. “Gevy SIM is a tray that goes in a phone's SIM tray slot, and works as a 'translator' between different service companies, effectively unlocking the phone.

However, I've run into issues, and the last time I was in the US it didn't work. The $40 Gevy SIM was useless. I think the best avenue for any frequent traveler is to buy your own phone unlocked from the start, and then buy a pay-as-you-go account with a local seller and get your own American phone number,” says Krabbe, who frequents the States often for work trips. “Or, if you're traveling for pleasure, just turn off your silly pocket computer and talk to humans. It's much better than all other options.”

Thing to watch #2: Travel Insurance Travel insurance is something that a mother will preach about but often gets overlooked or deemed as useless. It’s just the States, basically it’s an extension of Canada, right? Oh so wrong. The major difference is that the US doesn’t have a subsidized health care system. Any unforeseen trip to the hospital or dentist office can become a debt you could be paying for the next three years.

“I once neglected to buy travel insurance and

ended up in a really deadly car accident that sent my friend to get a cat scan. Those bills are even more insane than anything you could rack up with a cell phone, so bite the bullet, pay your $10 or whatever through BCAA and travel stress free,” Brewis warns, “A lot of people forget about doing this but it is a must.”

BCAA offers different insurance plans for individuals or families and cancellation insurance.

Depending on the policy, it can cover up to $10 million for hospital fees. Also, it can be purchased while travelling, if forgotten. For more information on policies and prices, visit Bcaa.com/travel.

Thing to watch #3: Valid Passport While this may seem like a no-brainer, it’s important to have, unless you wanted to get turned around at the border after looking like a crazed Canadian tourist. After 9/11, homeland security has tightened, and entrance into the US has become increasingly tedious. Gone are the days of crossing with just a driver’s license or health card as identification. If an impromptu trip is desired but the needed passport has expired, there are ways to fast-track the proper documentation.

“Having misplaced my passport in an old jacket only a couple days before a trip to the US, I had to pay for the expedited passport,” explains Krabbe, “A day spent at the passport office, $300, or a similar number that I've since blocked from memory, and a stomach ulcer from stress.”

Or just avoid this step, and keep an updated passport. It will be easier.

Thing to watch #4: Border Guards These guys have no sense of humour. Or if they do, they are masters at hiding it, maintaining a glare like they just discovered their lover cheated on them. So these are not the guys to attempt a stand-up comedy routine on.

LEAH’S TOP USA GETAWAYS South of the border in 12 hours or less (Someone please invite her to go with you….)

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

Portland – Four hours Portland has been re-born as the hippest city on the west coast. They got all the good coffee, beers, and bikes, which are three of my favourite things.

Plus, there is an entire sitcom revolving around it.

So it must be funny as well!

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× Sydney Parent

" With a 45-minute drive, one can be in the land of shitty beer, cheap gas and legalized weed."

Seattle – Five hours I drove through it once on my way home to feed my cats and it’s just cool. The buildings are nice, the streets are neat, and some cool things have come out of there. It’s the birthplace of Starbucks, and I love coffee. And Cameron Crowe’s awesome 1993 movie, <i> Singles <i> is set in Seattle, and I feel I would have been a great addition to that storyline.

“Border officials are looking for many things: immigration, controlled substances and objects, people working illegally, and [maintaining] homeland security. It's best to be as accurate, honest and calm about what you're trying to do. However, there's no good upside to telling the border guard ‘Oh I'm going to go visit my Nazi sympathizing aunt’. Just go visit your aunt,” says Krabbe.

Honesty is something that Brewis agrees with as well. “The more upfront you are, the more likely you are to appear at ease and honest. Most of us have nothing to hide, and those of us who do likely have criminal records and won't be allowed across anyway. If anything, I'd say to just simplify everything you say rather than babble,” Brewis explains, “My mom picked me up at the Bellingham airport a few months ago and drove me home. She thought she was being all pro by getting all of my purchase receipts ready, and then when she handed them to the border guard with our passports, they blew down the road in the wind, and he was not too pleased about that considering he didn't even ask [or] need to see them. Even to those of us who do have nothing to hide, the border can be unnecessarily stressful.”

Another tip from Brewis is to not tell them that you are travelling down to meet someone you met on OK Cupid or ChristianMingle.com. “People are still weird about that shit. And why shouldn't they be?” he says.

The States is a great travel destination. In Wyoming, vodka is infused straight into their slurpee machines. In Seattle, there is an entire wall made out of gum and relics of the 90s grunge-era still echo through the streets. Weed is legal in Colorado, which is as beautiful and amazing as Dumb and Dumber made it look. There are many places to be discovered, but take these tips with you on any trip. If forgotten, a weekend getaway can quickly turn into a headache worse than one induced by homework.

Spokane – Seven hours Spokane is a surprise. You think it’s going to be the armpit of Washington, a shitty city in the middle of it, but it’s really quite lovely. It’s easy to navigate through, and the downtown core is beautiful, with old architecture and a giant mall. Plus, when I was there this summer, I found parking right outside the Mac Store with money still on the metre.

Points for Spokane.

Pacific Coast Highway – Six hours Do yourself a favour – stop reading this, YouTube “Pacific Coast Highway” by Hole, and begin to adore Courtney Love. Then call me, and we will listen to this on repeat for the entire drive down the Pacific Coast Highway. Date? Yes. Jackson Hole, Wyoming – Forever Okay, this is a little farther than the 12-hour destinations, but if you take me here, I will never come home. It’s what dreams are made of. Cowboys still exist, and they’re in Jackson.

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opinions

GABRIEL SCORGIE OPINIONS EDITOR

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

theft and e-gnorance WHY PRIVATE INFORMATION IS BECOMING PUBLIC Simon Thistlewood × Writer

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

As we come to rely increasingly on technologies neither safe nor private, we’re becoming accustomed to people’s private lives being public property. On Sept. 3, nude photos of female celebrities were stolen from Apple’s iCloud and posted on AnonIB, a message board part of 4chan.com, and quickly spread to become the dominant news story of the day. On Sept. 10, an anonymous hacker stole and released the usernames and passwords of five million Gmail accounts. Earlier this year, tapes of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling were leaked by his onetime girlfriend V. Stiviano where Sterling asked her to not associate with black people in public or bring them to basketball games. On Sept 8, TMZ released a video of Ray Rice, an American Football player, in an elevator, beating his girlfriend before dragging her unconscious body out of the lift. These leaks have cultural implications around issues of racism, misogyny, and violence against women, but more importantly, they involve privacy issues.

The connecting narrative behind these incidents and their exposure to the public is our increased use of technology and our inability to protect our private lives from the media. The leaks affected prominent people, people who we imagine to possess intelligence and talent, or at least enough wealth to be able to isolate themselves from exposure and keep their secrets safe yet they were unable to. The Sterling tapes, Gmail accounts and celebrity leaks were only possible because of new technology, though Sterling’s carried a whiff of nostalgia and eccentricity, as some of his comments originated from tapes he made himself for future reference.

Part of the problem lies in the fact that new technologies are rolling out faster than legislators can adopt new laws to ensure our existing rights are protected. American novelist Jonathan Franzen described the rapid unveiling of new technology as “the horse that leads the cart”, when describing our present media-saturated and technology crazed society. Since 2001, essential aspects of the Patriot Act have been renewed instead of repealed.

The rubber stamped Federal Intelligence Service Act (FISA) that oversees secret wiretapping and the National Security Agency (NSA), hasn’t undergone any meaningful reform. In 2013, The

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× Ekaterina Aristova National reported that “The Guardian published a secret court order, issued under Section 215 of the Patriot Act, that requires Verizon Business Network Services to provide ‘on an ongoing daily basis’ phone records for all ‘communications (i) between the United States and abroad; or (ii) wholly within the United States, including local telephone calls.’ The data to be provided includes the numbers called, the length and time of calls and other routing information,” This secret order allowed the government to have records on millions of citizens without their knowledge.

Edward Snowden, the federal contractor who leaked the NSA files in June 2013, explained in a December interview with The Washington Post how much worse the current technological threat is to us than that envisioned by Orwell in his dystopian book 1984. “The types of collection in the book — microphones and video cameras, TVs that watch us — are nothing compared to

what we have available today. We have sensors in our pockets that track us everywhere we go,” he said, “Think about what this means for the privacy of the average person.” Snowden dropped revelatory bombs relevant to Canadians this year when he said that the Communications Security Establishment Canada (CSEC), Canada’s cryptologic security service responsible for protecting government electronic information and communications networks, monitored the meta-data of any Canadian who logged on to YVR Wi-Fi and then traced them for days after they left the country. Saying that this violation of privacy on Canadian travellers was illegal can be stated with the same certitude that smoking kills and global warming is real.

We should have privacy and we don’t. We don’t have it because we’re told abandoning our privacy is a necessary act to enjoy the latest application update and smartphone purchase. These days,

most technology companies use a form of cloud computing, which is a group of servers that host people’s information on one central database instead on individual devices. It’s why when someone gets a new iPhone or Android, all they need to do is sign onto their Gmail or Apple account to have all their contacts, photos and music installed in seconds. Unfortunately, there are many people out there who are bad at making passwords, and there are programs that are good at guessing them. After the celebrity pictures were leaked, Apple issued a statement urging customers to strengthen their passwords and enable twostep verification to avoid anyone taking control of your account, claiming that the hacks were not caused by a breach in the iCloud system, but by a target attack aimed at guessing passwords and security questions.

Every day, we’re dumping increasing amounts of data and meta-data onto the internet, handing it over to the corporations that maintain our e-mail, Google and Apple maps that track our GPS, social media, and financial institutions. As our lives increasingly shift online, personal information becomes vulnerable to anyone, hackers, corporations, governments, looking to seize or profit from it. Metadata (data about data), can tell people a lot about how you think, what you read, your daily routine, etc. Before becoming Vice President, Joe Biden had this to say about metadata in 2006: “I don't have to listen to your phone calls to know what you're doing. If I know every single phone call that you made, I am able to determine every single person you talked to. I can get a pattern about your life that is very, very intrusive.”

There exists little evidence of any immediate future where the government and technology companies will stop explaining to us why each new technology will require us to pay more and leave us more exposed. Looking back ten years ago, people were beginning to say they “would be lost without their cellphone,” now, people would be lost without their smartphones. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to operate in society without your e-mails, social media, phone numbers and documents all on one device – a device that’s being monitored by the government and safe kept by a single password.

opinions

History under the ice MISSING SHIP FOUND IN THE ARCTIC Tristen Schmidhauser × Writer In 1845, Sir John Franklin and his crew of 128 set out in search of the Northwest Passage, the fabled arctic trading route that led straight into the rich lands of Asia. The admiralty gave him two of the mightiest vessels they owned, the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror. The discovery of the Northwest Passage meant incredible economic growth, control of the undiscovered land, and further British dominance of the seven seas. Yet, three years later, there had been no word from Sir Franklin, and no sign of either ship. And so, a search spanning over 150 years ensued, yet the mystery of the arctic voyage remained unsolved. Dozens of search parties, oral reports from the native Inuit people, state of the art sonar technology, satellite imagery, and scientists gave bits and pieces alluding to the ultimate fate of the journey - A one-way ticket to the bottom of the ocean floor. The fact that the northwest passage could not be found meant that Britain needed to push through and colonize North America in order to establish a trade connection with Asia. The rest is, as they say, history.

But what happened to the two ships? Documents show that they became captured in the constricting hold of the arctic ice sheets, and remained trapped in the ice for at least two years until the crew abandoned it. The bones and preserved corpses of the missing crew members were found, proving there were no survivors.

But the wreck of the two ships has never been found, and so the mystery has remained a mystery - until Sept. 9.

× JR Pinto Finally, after more than a century of searching, a wreck has been found. Thanks to the continued efforts of Parks Canada, who have led six major searches for the lost Franklin ship since 2008, and Prime Minister Stephen Harper, for launching and funding the expeditions, a ship has been found on the ocean floor in the waters of Victoria strait, just off King William Island. Sadly, it was only discovered due to the deterioration of the Arctic Ice sheets. According to Ryan Harris, an underwater archaeologist and one of the leaders in the search,

the wreck is “indisputably” one of the two vessels.

The mystery has finally been solved, a ship has been found and in a surprisingly good condition. A new historical site has been uncovered, and inside the ship is a lost portion of history waiting to be uncovered and documented. Archaeologists around the world are thrilled, and both Canada and England have expressed excitement at such a discovery, with Harper chiming in with his signature brand of enthusiasm.

“So I think we have a really important day in mapping together the history of our country,” he said in

a press conference, undeniably excited. To the average Canadian however, this is a meaningless discovery.

Most people could care less that Harper found some 169-year-old ship in the arctic. Most people didn’t even know about the ship until they heard it on the news. The ship had been missing for a long time and people in today’s society didn’t grow up with the legend of the expedition being told to them as a bedtime story. Not to mention that Harper spent $270,000 of our tax dollars on a century old treasure hunt this year alone to find a ship that doesn’t hold any information relevant to current society, or reveal a hidden secret from the past.

Though this discovery might not benefit the public, it does, however, hold an opportunity and a promise. While there might not be any large-scale effects caused by the discovery, the ancient wreck holds many pearls of history within its hull. Historians all over the world will be interested in examining the contents, and documenting their finds over the course of several exhaustingly long papers. A new shipwreck has been discovered, opening up opportunities for aspiring archaeologists to sink their teeth into another chunk of history.

The fact that new historical sites are being discovered even today, in our arctic backyard, speaks of what may be. It promises that even with all the progress we’ve made, and all the things we’ve discovered, there are still things out there to find. There could be archaeological sites still hidden in the desert, thousands of species within the amazon, and who knows what’s in the remaining 95 per cent of the ocean that has yet to be explored. The world is vast and filled with secrets, and the historic vessel of Captain John Franklin is a reminder that we still haven’t found them all.

Scandle-ass SPIDER-WOMAN COMIC IS BEING CONDEMMED AS "PORNOGRAPHIC" Michael Letendre × Writer

× Scarlett Aubrey Galaxy prominently featured Chris Pratt’s toned, shirtless body. As for Spider-Woman, the costume in question that has drawn so much ire has been the same one she has worn, on and off, since 1977.

Revealing costumes and outrageous bodies is the art form of comics. The physiques within are not meant to be accurate representations of the human form (unless you happen to be Thor him-

self, Chris Hemsworth). Both men and women have wildly exaggerated bodies, all while wearing barely-there costumes.

This goes back beyond comic books. Just look at our collective art history. Michelangelo, one of the most famous painters in history, painted men with bodies that Captain America could only hope for.

How can the Birth of Venus by Botticelli be revered

T h e C a p i l a n o C o u r i e r . Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

Does this sound familiar: a superhero wears a skintight outfit and strikes an unbelievable pose? Probably, because that’s been the case for comics since their creation and all of a sudden Marvel is knee deep in scandal for one of their comic covers because it involves a woman. Marvel Comics has been embroiled in controversy since they unveiled an alternate cover to their issue of Spider-Woman number one back in August. The cover, drawn by veteran artist Milo Manara, shows the heroine climbing up a wall with her posterior in the air. Marvel has since apologized for the cover, but for what? Many of the pundits taking Marvel to task believe that they have taken a huge step back in how they portray women.

Eliana Dockterman of Time magazine said, “[T]his cover takes the sex-factor to a new extreme.” She, and many others, believes a male super hero like Spider-Man would never be put in the same pose.

They must’ve never read a comic before.

The costumes for both male and female superheroes are typically skin-tight. Yes, looking at SpiderWoman’s costume, the phrase “painted on” springs to mind, but keep in mind that’s true for both genders, and has been as long as comic books have been around. Pick up an average issue of Spider-Man and you are likely to see him in a similarly exaggerated position, cheek hugging costume and all. Think of the superhero movies that’ve been made and how typically tight and revealing those costumes can be (Iron Man, not so much). Even in the much-lauded Marvel movies, the male hero usually has an obligatory shirtless scene. The trailers for Guardians of the

and Spider-Woman reviled when they’re both pieces of art that show the female form? The myths and legends of history were also painted by artists who exaggerated the human body. We don’t have myths anymore, we have superheroes. We don’t have anymore Michelangelo’s (although he is a Ninja Turtle ironically enough), we have Milo Manara, Jim Lee, Michael Allred and so on.

Still, there are people who believe that this cover is more pandering to a male dominated industry.

Lucia Peters of Bustle.com believes women in comics, “aren’t portrayed as actual people with healthy sexualities; they’re presented as sexualized objects instead.” If that were true, it would fly in the face of nearly half of all comic book readers. According to a recent survey from Graphic Policy, 47 per cent of all comic book fans are female. One only has to pick up a copy of Batwoman or Ms. Marvel to see that there are many female superheroes that have rich, inner lives that aren’t defined by how they look.

Not only has Spider-Woman’s costume drawn ire but her pose has as well. Megan Freidman of Elle called it “pornographic.” There’s nothing pornographic about the pose she is in. This cover is as subjective of any other piece of art in the history of the world. It’s a modern Rorschach test. The interpretation of art and its subtext, again, goes back as far as we’ve had art. Yet outrage has taken over appraisal by people who think they know exactly what a piece of art is meaning to say. Comic books are fantasy. They’re our new Greek gods. They have both the bodies and the powers of the gods. If you want to read stories and see people that reflect real life, put down Spider-Woman and pick up American Splendor.

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columns

LEAH SCHEITEL COLUMNS EDITOR

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Tasha salads FINDING YOUR PERFECT FINGER MASSEUR Tasha Salads × Columnist

Tasha Salads is an expert in all things sexy. She has more used lingerie than all of Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriends combined. And she’s here to answer your dirtiest, darkest and raunchiest questions.

Tweet @tashasalads to air some dirty laundry.

If you're shy, send her a PM and she’ll use a pseudonym to answer your question. @GoodVibrations says: I can't find a man that is as good as my vibrator. No matter how many vodka Red Bulls they have, their hand doesn't have enough power. Help!

I would venture a guess that most women, myself included, have been in your shoes at one point or another. Why chance it with a novice when Big Boi Blu is waiting in the top drawer of your night table? It's no grand coincidence that handheld vibrators became available to the masses just before the women's liberation movement took off. Feminist scholars are too damn prudish to admit it, but the modern vibrator may actually be responsible for the women's movement. All of a sudden, ladies were free from unqualified fingers. They realized they no longer needed to keep men around at all. Housewives started disappearing for days on end, only

The good news that I'm trying to convey here is that your problem is not that the pleasure made possible by your trusty vibrator exceeds the competence of a real-life companion. You should never have to lower your standards – or heaven forbid, fake something – when you leave the satisfaction of your pussy in someone else's hands. The bad news is that a man who knows what the hell he's doing down there is hard to find. You really can't just trust anyone with this kind of thing. The regular Joes that you probably come into contact with in your day-to-day life – the kind that leave pizza crusts between the seats of the couch and scratch their balls in public and wear running shoes with × Arin Ringwald jeans – have no idea what it means to woo a vagina.

It's an apprenticeship that can take months, if not years. With that said, there are a small number of to be found holed up in hotels with their battery- men who walk among us who possess an extensive powered seducers. Many called this progress. knowledge of this art form. Unfortunately, many But I'm of the more traditional belief that a rav- women fail to identify a man who possesses the enous pussy can still be satiated the old-fashioned three essential qualities of a bonafide labial masseur. way. A vibrator is sexually freeing until you run out The most important quality is finger strength. of batteries at 11:30 pm on a weeknight. Trust me, Most people think it's about having large hands I've been there and the hole I punched in my bed- and therefore, large fingers. This couldn't be furroom wall is still there as proof of my wanton rage. ther from the truth. The only thing that matters But the finger is, in-essence, the oldest sex toy on is having fucking strong fingers. Have you ever earth – along with cucumbers and gourds, of course gone to the gym and seen a man conditioning his – and it should be venerated as such. Prior to the fingers? Probably not. The sad reality is that a lot invention of electricity, I'd like to believe that many of men simply don't have strong enough fingers a satisfied woman walked the earth. to get the job done. Luckily, choice groups of men

too Nietzsche WHAT A COOL MOUSTACHE WILL GET YOU Jeremy Hanlon × Columnist

The Capilano Courier.

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In Missoula, Montana, I wake up. I walk to the shower, wash up, shave, and curl my moustache.

When this is done, I go to the makeup artist who preps me for the day-long shoot I’ll be undertaking, then I put on a top hat and clothing bedecked in various amounts of gears, and meet with the photographer.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been modeling for an upcoming book called A Steampunk Guide to Hunting Monsters. The book details the adventures of a Ms. Philomena Dashwood and her companion Percy Longville (that’s me!) as they hunt for monsters around the world. They hunt everything from werewolves to giant spiders on a gigantic steampowered airship. As the title implies, the book is set in a steampunk universe. Of course in order to really convey what this means, one needs to know what steampunk is.

Steampunk is a subcategory of fantasy with a focus on steam-powered machinery and retrofuturistic technology (think blimps instead of airplanes, but steam-powered night vision goggles exist), generally with an overarching Victorian or

× Tyson Vick

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

Jeremy Hanlon is a mastermind in all things off the beaten path. Some of his interests include instant music trivia, moustache cultivation, and wheeling around the office in a swivel chair. With his column, he will explore the world of the niche, and why underground communities are often the most welcoming.

Wild West aesthetic. It derives inspiration from the works of HG Wells and Jules Verne, among others, and is one of the modern evolutions of the Goth subculture. In layman’s terms, however, it’s fancy clothes with lots of gears glued to them. And goggles — goggles everywhere.

There are actually people who live as steampunk characters, wearing petticoats and corsets, and calling themselves by names like “Tiberius Cloudchaser”, “Elena Steelwing”, or “Bob Smith”. The result is a group of people who look anachronistic in modern society, and also provide a lot of inspiration for modern media, some excellent (like the 2013 video game Bioshock Infinite), and some just plain awful (remember Wild Wild West?).

Every morning I’ve been doing photo shoots based around the different chapters of this book, and wearing outfits designed by the photographer, Tyson Vick, and his costuming partner Alisa Kester. I’ve been able to stay at the house of makeup

artist Lizzie Hatfield, along with her husband Caenaan and sock-obsessed golden retriever Maizey.

I’ve been working with my co-star Brin Merkley, and various additional characters in the book. The locales have spanned from a Himalayan mountain camp to a Philadelphia insane asylum to a submarine in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and the cast of monsters includes the ghost of a vengeful wife and a blob that dissolves all organic matter.

The whole concept in itself is fairly unique in its inspiration and execution, and it even shows in Vick’s styling choices.

“The thing I noticed was that all the people in steampunk, even those supposed to be nobility, Sir this or Lady that, dress in lower class costumes, or middle class, because you can get some of the middle class stuff with the top hats and the waist coats,” Vick told me one night. “No one’s ever upper class, so I thought ‘what would an upper class person wear in a steampunk world?’ I actually looked a lot at

develop finger strength unintentionally through their hobbies. Rock climbers are an untapped gold mine. Surprisingly, video gamers also hold up pretty well in tests of finger strength. And let's not forget musicians.

Along with finger strength, stamina is essential.

It's clear to most people that women need a little something more than a jerk and a tug to get off. A man must be able to physically endure. This comes down to simple cardio capacity. Is his heart in good condition? What's his blood pressure? I would also caution against a man who's had too many Red Bull and vodkas. The effect can be just as dangerous as driving under the influence – the casualty is your orgasm. Go for a man who isn't sauced. Even better, go for a man who's into endurance sports – his fingers will never go limp on you.

Finally, the last quality you need to look for in your digit-al companion is a simple willingness to try again when he fails. Most men, upon noticing that their handiwork isn't having the desired effect, give up. It's usually embarrassment that prevents them from trying again. Indeed, many members of the male sex have potential that has yet to be tapped; they only need some kind female soul to take pity on them, to tell them it's okay and then show them the way. This is where you come in. Exercise patience with your partner. Guide him with your words, so that he may guide you to your O.

high fashion nowadays, and what people actually wear, and you’ll notice that the lower classes always have more subculture stuff on them, like if you’re a goth or a punk in the real world, you’re just covered in safety pins or zippers everywhere, and the clothes don’t ever fit right.”

However, that wouldn’t do for this shoot, and a lot of the clothing I wore had to be cleverly pinned in strategic spots in order to make it look like it was tailored to me.

“Rich people’s clothes always fit right, and they’re very understated when they have some subculture thing attached to them, unless the costume goes the opposite way, like if you look at haute-couture, where it’s stuff no one would wear in real life. That’s what I was trying to do. It’s very understated costume-wise for the heroes, instead of having gears everywhere, or twenty sets of goggles. And then I try to use the basic fashion standards, like you don’t wear more than one piece of eyewear, you don’t wear a belt and suspenders at the same time. That’s what influenced the fashion,” Vick said.

Basically I’ve been getting paid to wear crazy clothes and pretend I’m fighting crazy monsters, all because I have a crazy moustache. I won’t deny that initially my family was hesitant to let me go on this trip, as they were of the opinion that Vick would end up murdering me and ditching my body in the mountains, after having set up a very creative and very elaborate ploy to ensnare me. So far I’m still alive though, and I even got to go to a candy store that’s about the size of the Maple building, so that’s a plus. So if you find yourself looking at a really, really ridiculously good looking guy who looks like he just stumbled out of a Williamsburg microbrewery, say hi, and maybe come play some smash bros.

For more information on A Steampunk Guide to Hunting Monsters, you can go to Steampunkmonsters.com, or check out Tyson Vick Photography on Facebook.

columns

you haven't seen that?!

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

Holly Pavlik × Columnist Although Holly Pavlik works in the animation and movie industry, there are an alarming number of blockbuster movies she has yet to see. Now she is determined to see them all, and will give you fresh eyes on stories and films the rest of us have all seen, highlighting aspects we may have missed. For the record, she hasn’t missed an episode of Arrested Development.

She loves Jason Bateman too much for that.

Thank you for stopping by my column where I gallivant through the celluloid hills of classic films I somehow haven’t seen. Over the years I’ve come to realize that not having seen infamous movies such as Star Wars has deeply upset the North American population. This article is my apology to society and in an attempt to no longer offend the masses or ruin relationships with other humans. This week, I review Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark. First Night: My boyfriend is astounded I’ve seen nothing from the Indiana Jones franchise.

“What?!” he cries. I apologize for having made a personal attack on his life by not seeing this movie. I guess I’m going to have to watch this flick if I ever want to see him and his two cats again (he’s a cat man.)

I’m shocked most of the iconic Indiana Jones moments happen within the first 10 minutes of the film; the boulder, the golden idol, the song.

Since I’m watching a ghetto version of the movie online, I question whether or not a chunk of it is missing. “No. This is the movie,” says my boyfriend, straight-faced and unimpressed. I give him a kiss to ease the scorn. Soon after, he’s asleep.

Typical. Now I’m straight-faced and unimpressed.

Golden idols aside, I would like to discuss the real treasure in this movie: Marion Ravenwood, the daughter of Jones’ deceased mentor and Jones’ ex-lover. When we first meet Marion, she’s in the middle of a shot contest with an ambiguously gendered person that she drinks under the table. This leads me to fantasize about the fun adventures we would have together at the Roxy. Then enters Jones. It’s clear they haven’t seen each other for some time when Marion’s eyes light up and BOOM, she punches him in the face. Maybe the Roxy is a bad idea. Nonetheless, this is my homegirl.

Some other stuff happens afterwards, Marion agrees to help save the Ark from Nazi possession, but I lost interest. I’d like to end my evening on a high note, so I join my boyfriend in dreamland. Till tomorrow Jones.

Second Night: I can’t find the movie anywhere on the Internet. I’ve even sacrificed the integrity of my computer in order to find a working link.

Netflix proves to be unsuccessful (Yes, I tried

American Netflix.) Slight panic as this article is due in two days.

Third Night: Success! My boyfriend finds a working link on the Internet - a modern day hero. This almost makes up for falling asleep on the first night. As I continue watching, I’m riveted by non-stop action. It’s literally one thing after the next and on every mode of transportation imaginable. Cars, planes, boats, horses — Jones does something totally illogical on all of them. But all this pales in comparison to Marion who gets wasted and threatens a man with a butter knife; homegirl will cut you then make herself a sandwich!

After retrieving the stolen Ark from a bunch of Nazis, Jones arranges to transport it to London via ship. It is in this boat that we experience some much needed down time. Thank you Spielberg, now I can go pee. Here we see a romantic, softer kind of intimacy between the two characters — BAM! Marion unknowingly whacks Jones in the face with a mirror. She’s killing it! Can somebody please get this girl her own sitcom? We quickly return to sweet interactions. Jones is sore from all the adventuring and Marion gives him a kiss to ease the pain.

Soon after, he's asleep. Well isn't this familiar!

Apparently, my boyfriend and Indy have a lot in common, such as girlfriends, but minus the everything else.

Alas. The Nazis arrive again and steal the Ark

again and capture Marion and Jones again. In these final scenes, a ceremony is performed to open the Ark. Now, when I set out to watch this movie I was under the impression that the famed booby-trapped temple scenes were the thick of it. Turns out, this is just an itty-bitty piece of the movie pie. The adventure sandwiched in between this and what's about to happen is reminiscent of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Double Down: meat on top, meat on the bottom, meat in the middle. The opening of this artifact unleashes angels of death who wreak fiery havoc on surrounding Nazi soldiers. Chaos ensues. There's so much action going on that I feel like my head is about to explode when — oh my god — a bad guy’s head actually explodes!

Meanwhile, Jones instructs Marion to simply close her eyes and avoid looking at the ancient spirits, thus sparing their lives. Um... what? That's it? After bazooka gunfights and jumping on moving jeeps from horseback, Indiana Jones ultimately beats the final boss with a prolonged blink? Well, okay. I guess they've been through enough.

In conclusion, Marion Ravenwood: Raiders of the Lost… oops, I mean Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark is an action adventure movie on steroids with a leading lady I want to be my best friend. And on behalf of my boyfriend, he would personally like to thank Indiana Jones for showing his girlfriend that even the most heroic of men fall asleep after being kissed by a woman.

anticipated the government may be forced to send teachers back to school.

At the start of summer, the BCTF’s message seemed to have been resonating with many parents. In a survey conducted by AngusReid, it was discovered that 45 per cent of respondents supported the teachers’ versus 36 per cent for the government, with the rest undecided. However, in recent weeks, polls suggested that public support for teachers’ had been in a steady decline after BCTF leadership suggested the Liberal government raise taxes to cover union-proposed wage increases. Two × Crystal Lee weeks ago, when Angus Reid asked British Columbians which side they supported again, teachers ernment’s side of the story out to residents. had lost support, down from 46 per cent to only Unlike previous administrations, Fassbender and 29, as opposed to 35 per cent for the government.

Premier Christy Clark made it clear to all British In an online Vancouver Sun poll, 53 per cent of Columbians that if BCTF members decided to respondents voted against raising taxes to satisfy walk out of classrooms, they would not legislate BCTF compensation demands, while 47 per cent them back to work under any circumstances. “We agreed, if it meant ending the strike. Similar quesare not going to legislate”, said Fassbender in the tions asked by The Province and Global BC also Globe and Mail last month. “We want a settlement yielded similar results. at the table. [Legislation] puts us back into the same The BCTF was progressively losing the media position we’ve been in for too long,” referring to war, and perhaps a larger political debate about the the longstanding culture of legislating teachers back relationship between taxpayers and public sector to work when settlements could not be reached. employees. The centre-right BC Liberal Party has Instead, Fassbender remained confident that a promised voters to lower taxes and fiscal responsilong-term agreement with the BCTF could still be bility, which is why it has had such frosty relations reached, if the union was willing to bargain in good with the teachers’ union. Earlier this month in a faith and not stall negotiations. “I believe that the Vancouver Sun op-ed, SFU Economics professor [BCTF] executive and their negotiating team feel Krishna Pendakur argued that low taxes and less that if they can reject my proposals and hold out on of an investment in education essentially go hand talks to get school started again, that we will legislate in hand. “The BC Liberals have campaigned to a settlement like in years past,” he said. Nonetheless, keep taxes low,” wrote Pendakur. “However, low if the strike continued into October, Fassbender tax rates come at a price. In BC, this results in

having the lowest paid teachers and the largest class sizes in Canada”. Since August, the government has been warning British Columbians that it cannot afford Iker’s outrageous compensation demands because it would force their government to increase taxes or go into deficit. “If we were to meet the teachers’ wage demands, we would have to increase gas taxes by 5 cents a litre or property taxes by $200 per home,” said Finance Minister Mike de Jong in a CBC radio interview.

On Sept 11, BCTF members voted to have the dispute settled by “binding arbitration”, a proposal that had been vehemently rejected by the provincial government. Binding arbitration would have required both sides to consent to the appointment of an arbitrator to rule on the dispute. The arbitrator’s verdict on the dispute would have been legally binding. Premier Clark believed that entrusting a third party with taxpayer funds would have been counterintuitive because it’s their job to spend tax dollars, not an arbitrator’s. “As a leader, I was elected to negotiate settlements. I am not prepared to shrink and give that responsibility away to somebody else,” she argued last week in the Globe and Mail.

On Sept. 15, the provincial government and BCTF leadership reached a tentative agreement, bringing an end to the four month long strike that began in June. On Sept. 18, BC teachers voted 86 per cent in favour of adopting a six-year contract that would include a salary increase of over seven per cent, a $400 million allotment for special education, improvements in extended benefits and a better daily pay rate for teachers on call. Schools are slated to reopen on Sept. 21.

house of common sense UNION LOSING SUPPORT IN DISPUTE Kevin Kapenda × Columnist

For the past two months, the BC Teachers Federation (BCTF) and the provincial government were engaged in on and off contract negations.

The main issues that both sides had to agree on were teacher wages and benefits, followed by class size and composition. The BCTF maintained that current class sizes were too full and didn’t allow educators to meet the needs of students with special needs. However, the government argued that it couldn’t negotiate the issue of class size and composition until an agreement was reached on teacher compensation and benefits.

In addition to closed-door negotiations, the teachers’ union and the provincial government had also been taking jabs at each other in the media. BCTF President Jim Iker actively held press conferences and wrote editorials to inform British Columbians of the reasons why his members were striking. To counter Iker, Education Minister Peter Fassbender frequently appeared on television newscasts and talk radio programs to get the gov-

T h e C a p i l a n o C o u r i e r . Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

Kevin Kapenda has been the Courier’s unofficial political correspondent for the past two years. This year, we just made it a bit more official. Through his column he will be delving into the world of politics and highlight what students should pay closer attention to. He’s doing the hard political work so you don’t have to.

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CAp you

CARLO JAVIER LIFESTYLE EDITOR

CARLO.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

getting back in shape HUMAN KINETICS LEADS ANNUAL RUN Carlo Javier Despite the drizzle and the cold weather, the Human Kinetics program (HKIN) of Capilano University turned in a successful second annual Back to Cap Run/Walk on Sept 18.

The run managed to overcome some less than desired weather conditions, as well as the overload of school-based events that happen during lunch hours on Thursdays.

“We were happy to see everyone that came and we thank everyone that came,” begins Emma Russell, coordinator of Back to Cap Run/ Walk, “and we know that the Thursday 11:30 to one block is used a lot by other departments so it’s hard for people to prioritize what they want to do but we’d love to have more people out.”

Organized by a team of students and faculty members from HKIN, the event gave participants the option of walking or running the route. Featuring a non-competitive feel to the run/walk was an imperative aspect of the event, as Russell and her team were aiming to encourage participation from people from all sorts of athletic level.

“We’d like to get people physically engaged in the campus, and we’re doing that in a non-competitive atmosphere, which is inclusive for everyone,” she explains, “I think that’s the motivation behind it, just to get people moving and active.”

Starting at the space between the Fir and Cedar buildings, the route continued to Skeena Road, along Tantalus Road and Monashee Drive, before cycling back to Fir, where a massive “Finish” banner awaited the participants.

HKIN aims for the Run/Walk to be just the start of a series of physical activity-based events that they hope to launch this year. The program is already looking at next semester for their biggest event.

“Hopefully our students will engage other student groups and gather ideas, hopefully it will be more

× Human Kinetics Department

× Lifestyle Editor

of a student-ran activity than a faculty-led activity,” says Russell.

The possibility of having more than just another Run/Walk event is also not entirely out of the question. The proximity of the CapU campus to the mountains and the ocean makes it the ideal area for other nature-based events. “It could be anything, we’re open to it,” says Russell.

Russell cites “Storm the Wall,” an obstacle course-like challenge held at the University of British Columbia, as an inspiration for bigger events at CapU. “We’re up in the mountains, we’ve got trails, we’ve got paths, we’ve got the ocean close by, and we’ve got cycling if we need to,” she says, “There’s no reason why we can’t incorporate all that.”

now showing

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

NEW FILM COURSE TACKLES QUEER ISSUES

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Keara Farnan × Writer This fall semester marks the launch of Film 323 Queer Cinema, one of the few film courses to be offered for students outside of Capilano University’s Motion Picture Arts program (MOPA).

While there have been a variety of courses that have touched on queer topics, Film 323 is the first to be entirely based on queer matters. MOPA instructors Ki Wight and Seanna McPherson are the parents and creators of the course, two film instructors with knowledge of both the social and cultural background of the entertainment industry.

“This course examines contemporary, crosscultural queer cinema in the mainstream studio, independent and international film industries, and the relationship between queer cinema and the global film communities,” says Wight.

Though Wight and McPherson are not able to

comment entirely on the course’s screening list, some films include: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk, Dallas Buyers Club and Boys Don’t Cry. By incorporating movies and stories into the course, Wight hopes that students will be able to get a sense for the discrimination, social and political challenges that continue to affect queer communities all around the world.

“Upon successful completion of this course, students will be able to define queer cinema in relation to contemporary global film and demonstrate an understanding of central critical themes in queer cinema studies including genre, gender, identity, race politics and class,” continues Wight.

Film 323 is open to students from any program at CapU and is held in the Bosa Centre for Film and Animation. The course will feature guest speakers from the Vancouver Queer Film Festival and local LGBT support centre, Qmunity.

“At Capilano University, there are relatively few cinema studies courses offered for students outside of MOPA, and we believe that this course could become a viable and interesting upper-level elective for all students on campus. At a time when social topics such as bullying and intolerance are in the daily news, we believe that a course in queer cinema is timely and important,” adds Wight.

Jon Kinsley, liaison for the Capilano Queer Collective, is currently enrolled in Film 323.

He helped lobby the development of the course through the summer and strongly believes that more integration of queer content in more courses is beneficial to our campus.

“I think this course speaks to the change happening on campus. I have had conversations with a multitude of teachers about the lack of queer content and the desire for more. Many universi-

ties agree that courses should incorporate queer subjects; I am disappointed that CapU has not considered this before. With Queer Cinema shows happening on our campus hopefully there will be a ripple effect that extends out into the community.

North Vancouver already lacks Queer resources,” Kinsley explains. “I think this is one area of queering it up. I hope that in the future more CapU instructors will consider teaching queer related courses. I feel this campus is lagging behind and is not inclusive to the Queer community. The Queer Collective is taking taking an initiative and lobbying the university for change; it would be great to see major changes on campus, especially towards Queer focused subjects.”

caboose

CARLO JAVIER LIFESTYLE EDITOR

CABOOSE@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

types of capu students STEREOTYPING FOR FUN Carlo Javier × Lifestyle Editor

The Jocks

Quiet, hip, broke. These are just some of the words people associate with Capilano University. It’s that little school that’s neatly tucked away in the forests of North Vancouver. It’s that school you go to if you’re a musician, if you want a university credit despite the community college atmosphere, and — up until last year — if you liked pottery and sculpting.

Just like those at any other institution, students at CapU can fall into a specific group. So forget political correctness, here’s our tongue-in-cheek guide to the types of students you’ll see on campus.

Just remember, this is the humour section. Off the record, we think you’re all pretty neat.

Who would’ve thought that nearly 30 years after The Breakfast Club, the stereotypical jock would still remain prominent? They’ve undergone some evolution, too. It’s no longer about the varsity teams and jackets. It’s about the tightest fitting tank top, the shaker cups and the creatine, bro. It’s about the max bench press and not missing leg days. Come to think of it, it’s pretty impressive that the gym rats have stayed relevant at CapU, considering the lacking gym facility. Yes, CapU has a gym. No, you don’t want to see it.

Undeclared

The Coltranes

Neo-Hippies

A CapU archetype, the business students mean exactly what their program says: business.

They bring in the most money, they have the biggest enrolment and they’re supposedly the best dressed, save for a few badly altered suits. Unfortunately, the rest of the school just thinks they’re keeners who believe every meeting is a business meeting — except they don’t seem to have a meeting room to do it in. Instead, they take up every study room in the library and every group table as well. Talk about a monopoly. They even have these associations that throw events around campus – for themselves, of course. It’s not all about meet and greets and spreadsheets for them though. You might catch one binging on Suits or Mad Men, or at least making their best attempt at dressing like one of the characters.

Most students start out this way. No purpose, no concrete goal, and have next to zero idea on what to do with their life. They’ll have textbooks from political science, anthropology, and economics classes.

They’ll love philosophy because it can get all existential and shit, and because it’ll get them to ponder about the same question they ask themselves every night: “What am I doing with life?” They’re fully aware that their lack of program also means a lack of community, which we all know leads to having no friends at all, except for maybe the guy in the cafeteria who gives them an extra chicken strip or two. Ultimately, the undeclared embody the spirit of college. You get to learn about everything – as long as you show up to class. Wait, this sounds like me, except for the part about the free chicken strips.

Hey Aramark, can you hook a brother up?

A nocturnal bunch, the musical geniuses of CapU are known for basically living in the practice rooms of their building and arriving late to their electives with instruments in hand. But hey, when you have 10 courses every semester, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? To combat their high stress levels and keep themselves stimulated during late night jam sessions, they generally smoke a ton of grass and consume coffee at rather alarming rates.

They’ve also been known to party with their professors. Many travel in packs and often live together, usually in dilapidated houses around East Van. Some of our next Art Tatums have also been noted for taking a long time to graduate. There are urban legends of students who have dragged out their degrees for six, seven, even eight years. One even lived in a treehouse for a semester. Another lived in his van. CapU is a second home to many musicians, and maybe even a first to some.

An interesting bunch, they’re super friendly, super nice, and super malleable. They’ll be at every protest and political movement, and everything they read that is somewhat for the betterment of society will resonate in their thoughts. When not combing through the cafeteria garbage cans rescuing plastic forks, you’ll find them toiling in the community gardens next to the Bosa building. They love documentaries, NGOs and things that qualify as a non-profit. They can be found scattered throughout CapU’s various programs — Arts and Sciences, Tourism, and of course, Global Stewardship. They are loving, too. Once I took an International Organizations class, and everyone knew everyone. Hugs everywhere! Watch out for unruly armpit hair though — especially if you wind up standing next to one on a crowded 239 to Phibbs.

The Film Student

The Communications People

The Actors

Studio Arts

At the top of CapU – the actual physical top, not the metaphorical hierarchical top – you’ll find the school’s aspiring Kubricks, Spielbergs and Allens.

The film folks are fairly easy to spot. They wear badges after all. Those Bosa Centre lanyards are like their personal insignias, a mark of identity. Anyone lower down the hill on campus usually thinks these guys are pretentious and spoiled, and I can see why.

They have the nice and shiny building, state-ofthe-art equipment, and even their own auditorium.

They have everything, including the most expensive tuition at CapU, so let’s all take solace in that.

Ironically enough, the program that theoretically leads to careers in media and public relations features some of the most low-key people on campus.

Have you ever seen a communications-based event in the CSU lounge? I haven’t. What the heck is communications anyway? They have this club called the “Frankfurters,” which apparently is undergoing some name change, because no one seems to know what a “Frankfurter” is. They don’t have lanyards and they don’t live in their suits like the business students, but luckily we have a few tricks for identifying them. Word on the street is that this program is not only the easiest, but also features the prettiest babes on campus — you know, the West/North Van type. You’ll find them scattered around campus with their mason jars and kale salads. Prepare a pick up line and get ready to communicate.

The truest alpha dogs of CapU, they’re so dominant that they actually have a territory that’s acknowledged by the rest of the school. Those red couches outside the theatre in Birch – that’s theirs, so approach at your own risk. That’s not to say that CapU’s actor demographic is filled with a bunch of sensitive and territorial people. Those in the acting program just like to band together, like everyone else really. Sometimes they’ll serenade the cafeteria like choir angels, and you don’t want to miss their birthday sing-alongs. They’re really quite adorable.

It’s like Glee, only much better… So it’s basically Pitch Perfect.

We miss you already.

Illustrated by Andrew Palmquist

T h e C a p i l a n o C o u r i e r . Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

The Business Minded

19

shotgun reviews WORST TOP 40

Bad

Bad

Bad

Swifty

ANACONDA, nicki minaj

DON'T TELL EM, jeremih

FANCY, Iggy azalea

SHAKE IT OFF, taylor swift

Tristan Schmidhauser // Writer

Nigel Ching //Writer

Gabriel Scorgie // Opinions Editor

Faye Alexander // Features Editor

Once again, Nicki Minaj has burst into the scene with her newest smash hit “Anaconda.” The classic samples, banging beats, and unique brand of blazing raps have re-established her reign as the queen of hip-hop. The fact that the song catches and tames the wild beat of “Baby Got Back” is incredible unto itself, but considering she used such a familiar beat and remade it into another top 40 hit is simply mind-boggling. Her strong smashing lyrics speak of her confidence in herself, her ownership of her sexuality, and the strength of having a rowdy rump. Recently, Nicki Minaj has faded from the Billboards, due to work on her new album <i>The Pink Print<i>, but this smash hit shows that the queen is far from done. And if you haven’t seen the music video yet, take it from Drake; it’s Jaw-dropping. Years from now this guilty pleasure will undoubtedly be known for it’s central and undoubtedly passionate message, “fuck those skinny bitches”

The first time I heard “Don’t Tell Em” was this summer at a strip club in L.A. That evening I lost my strip club virginity. Being sober enough to remember this catchy tune, I made sure that I located the track and downloaded it into my iTunes.

What’s not to like about this song? Especially when big booty chicks are twerking to the beat.

Forget the big booty chicks, I’ll twerk to the beat it’s that catchy. “Don’t Tell Em” is everything you could ask for in a pop song, a well produced yet simple beat, an auto-tuned voice and a bonafide bad ass rapper spitting the second verse. Getting pleasure out of listening to this song is something I am guilty about, but hey, aren't we all allowed to have a guilty pleasure? People often get so caught up in their taste of music that they jump to the conclusion that every song top 40 is untalented garbage. Maybe if people listened to “Don’t Tell Em” with an opened mind they may actually enjoy it, or even end up trying to twerk to it themselves.

First things first: this song should win catchiest track of the year. Is it weird to find out that Iggy Azalea is actually white and from Australia instead of being Nicki Minaj’s long lost sister like everyone originally thought? Yeah, a little bit, but the beat, chorus, bridge and verses are all capable of getting stuck in your head for days. And even better, it’s a good song. Okay, maybe it’s not good compared to musical masterpieces such as Bohemian Raphsody or any song Nickleback has ever written, but it’s not like Avril Lavigne’s “Hello Kitty” where if it gets stuck in your head and you start looking for a very high roof overlooking a rocky landing right away. And if people are looking for a song that can be blasted in a club or on a summer’s day to get disgracefully drunk too – that’s what Fancy was made for.

Have you ever stayed in your Christmas themed flannel pajamas for four days straight and refused to leave your room? Don’t worry, me too. Getting depressed is all part of life as a university student – all included in the price of tuition! But I’ve found the ultimate pick me up: just press play on Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off”. Even the slouchiest most lethargic saddo will be transported to a land of bubblegum and finger snapping. It’s like listening to the musical equivalent of an episode of <i>My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic<i>. Suddenly it’s like you have this music in your mind saying “it’s going to be alright” (see what I did there? It’s a lyric!!) Swift is so adorable telling you how hard life can be as a pin-thin beauteous blonde with an excess of talent and marketability. I totally buy it.

When someone hot tells you that you can shake it off, you totally can. I just danced out of my pajamas and into my best sweats. UPGRADE!

The Hot Chart with

// Things Schei Says

DOUBLE CRUNCH // POOPIN' & DEADLINES

The Capilano Courier.

Volume 48 I ssue N o . 03

I'M STILL SINGLE // SO CALL ME MAYBE?

20

CARLOTHERINE // KATHERLO DROPPING THE BALLS// NEVER DONE THAT HAVE YOU SEEN MY TEETH // HAVE YOU SEEN HER TEETH THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG! // BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE I LIKE HIM // HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND COMPLIMENTS // HI, NICE DICK PLOPPING IT IN // THE NEWSPAPER OR IN ME? ASK THERESE // HOPEFULLY SHE'LL SING

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