Capilano Courier // Volume 48 // Issue 7

VOL UME

48

PERFORMING PROFS

NORTH VANCOUVER, OCTOBER 20TH 2014

BINNERS

EBOLA CEREAL

ISSUE

N O . 07

TOILET HUMOUR

CAPILANO Courier

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

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News

A+C

CaleNdar

Features

OpiNiONs

COlumNs

CabOOse

Collecting Cups

DORITOS MMMM

Shower Time

Coming Out

Trapped by Translink

Tough Shell

Where to Crap At Cap

Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

@capilanocourier

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

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The Staff

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@capilanocourier

Therese Guieb News Editor

of this hard working and boob twerking university newspaper

Andy Rice Managing Editor

Alva Tee Arts + Culture Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Faye Alexander Features Editor

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Gabriel Scorgie Opinions Editor

Carlo Javier Lifestyle Editor

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Brandon Kostinuk Web Editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

Kevin Kapenda, Sarah Bonin, Eric Seeley, Simon Thistlewood, Heather Connor, Kaschelle Theissen, Alex Dauncey, Robin Smith, Liv Du Hamel, Jesse Copeland, Tristen Schmidhauser, Scott Barkmeyer, Christine Beyleveldt, Ramneet Kang, Tasha Salads, Holly Pavlik, Jeremy Hanlon, Nigel Ching, Keara Farnan CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:

Cristian Fowlie, Vivian Liu, Susan Mendel, Lani Brunn, Guillem Rovira, J.R. Pinto, Jackson Butchart, Arin Ringwald, Samatha Smith, Marla White, Megan Collinson, Sydney Parent, Taylor Lee, Olliemoonsta

To advertise in the Courier’s pages, please contact our Advertising Director, Andy Rice, at 778-855-9942 or advertising.capcourier@gmail.com. We are proud to offer discounts to non-profit organizations and North Shore customers. A full media kit with sizes, rates and deadlines is available on our website, CapilanoCourier.com.

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Letter From The Editor Leah Scheitel, Editor-in-Chief

Intuition fees "Impulse is intuition on crack"

- Jane Christmas

As previously mentioned in past editorials, I went to Colorado this summer in an attempt to write out a broken heart. Along the way, I was mocked for embarking on such a cliché endeavour. The one night I spent in Wyoming, I met someone who accused me of writing a B-rated version of Eat, Pray, Love. Without shame, that’s exactly what I was doing and I hope to convince everyone that they need to do exactly the same thing.

Without getting into the specific details of what sent me on this pilgrimage to Colorado, let’s say I’ve made many romantic mistakes – enough to warrant concern and attention. But during the summer, I made a mistake that didn’t just affect my stunted emotions. This mistake harmed friendships, destroyed trust and caused me to get shingles. In the midst of it, I had a phone meeting with Courier Managing Editor, Andy Rice, where he made the most sense of the mistake. “You’re just getting material for the next year of editorials,” he said, “This sounds like it will make for great writing.”

So I went to Colorado specifically to write. I sat in a cabin, drank cheap American wine and wrote a novella about my romantic mistakes. It chronicled everything from my first love at the age of 18 right up to this past summer. The amount of alcohol I consumed in those four days is noteworthy.

As the great Ernest Hemingway said, “Write drunk. Edit sober.” I chugged wine and divulged all the details of past romances. Believe me, it’s not a great love story, and no one will learn anything from reading it. But it needed to get out. They were stories that needed to be told, even if there is no suitable audience for it.

Since writing it two months ago, I haven’t opened the 20,000 word document confessing everything.

Occasionally, I think of it with the intention of editing it into something useable, selling it and becoming as famous as Chelsea Handler – in two years, I’ll have my own talk show at this rate. But it has remained sealed, primarily because I’m scared of the words. They were impulsively written with lowered inhibitions and are about some of the worst times of my life. Opening it would be like looking into your crush’s medicine cabinet – sure, you’re curious, but also are terrified of what you will find. And once it’s reopened, it is likely to be all consuming.

It’s the idea of impulse that I’m fixated on. I let impulse take control of my life, throwing reason and caution out the window. On a whim, I have taken road trips to Alaska, texted old flames in the early morning hours, and written some of my finest work. I often rely on my intuition and impulses, which has caused both benefits and damage in my life. And it’s interesting to take a step back and analyze my impulsive behaviour. While working with a counsellor last year, he would refer to it as “being reckless” in my choices and point out that I often crave to be reckless. And he’s right – I enjoy letting my impulses take over. I think it’s therapeutic. Without a shred of doubt, those four days in Colorado helped me get over old demons that months of counselling couldn’t conquer. And that’s why I condone it. Everyone should lock themselves away somewhere new, surrounded by the things they enjoy, and write out their issues.

To add to this, it’s my impulses that are failing me right now. Writing this editorial has tortured me all week. After three half-finished drafts, all of which are better off used as liners for the kitty litter box, I’m scrambling to create anything worthwhile. I tried to rely on my impulses to produce something, replicating my Colorado experience in hopes to fill this page, but to no avail. I spent Wednesday evening writing after a bottle of wine, hoping the lowered inhibitions would produce a pile of words that were at least mouldable. Nothing came, and I lost the evening to YouTube videos on how the American political system works. I awoke to my editorial being a list of every single American president, how long they were in office for and who their vice president was. The last entry was Frank Underwood, the fictional president from House of Cards. Definitely not anything mouldable, just a sign that I need to stop binge-watching Netflix shows.

All that my impulses have given me this week are two rancid hangovers, lessons in American history, and a heavy case of anxiety. And still, I highly suggest throwing practical thinking out the window and following an intuition. It’s a reprieve from the regimented and structured student life. This week, I challenge you to follow your intuition, do something that intimidates you, and be a little more reckless. Let’s hope that it produces something better than this editorial.

tweetiNg Outside the ClOset

the VOiCe bOx

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with

Andy Rice

The Voicebox is back, ready to humbly respond to your questions, concerns, and comments about anything. To inquire, just send a text to 778.855.9942 to anonymously "express" and "voice" your "opinion" and "thoughts" on any "subject" or "issue". And, as long as it's not offensive, we will publish it here, right in the Voicebox. It's a win - win, or whine - whine whatever way you look at it.

Apparently the CSU Maple lounge is getting renovated.

How is Cap affording this?

Does Kris Bulcroft have anything to say about that artistic impression of her in last week’s humour section?

Well you saw what happened the last time someone tried to make a likeness of her on campus, so until I see a bunch of destroyed copies of page 19 ripped into pieces and returned to my desk, I’ll just assume the administration hasn’t seen it.

For the record though, I didn’t do the art for that story. I just wrote it and may or may not have made some very specific requests about how I wanted it to look. I told the artist I wanted him to make her to look like Vanna White but she ended up coming out more like Pat Sajak. I felt a little bad

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K. What the fuck. The cafeteria now only serves entrees on certain days, so that means on some days we’re only served the same stuff after 2 pm. And no I’m not touching the cold, overpriced sushi or those triangular things they try to call pizza. I have no questions, just a venting unsatisfied soul.

I like you. We should be friends. Although I was kind of a dick to Aramark last week — like, to the point where I actually ate there today because I felt guilty and wanted them to have some of my money. So I’m gonna lay off them this week, or at least until my food has digested. Keep texting in though! We can resume our hate-on in Issue 8. Same time, same place.

This is a public service announcement to the students of CapU: the paid parking kiosks do not take dimes.

Neither does your mom.

RuPaul @RuPaul Always remove your wig before asking your husband "Why is your penis on a dead girl's phone?” #HowToGetAwayWithMurder Raven-Symonè @MissRavenSymone New tumbler... Raven-symonecp. Only fierce pix James Franco @JamesFrancoTV Boom boom, NAKED and Afraid.

Me and Seth, in the bush, naked, together. For reals.

Pete Wentz @petewentz basically everyday my single biggest fear is that i have read the date wrong on the yogurt i am eating and it has gone bad :/ George Takei @GeorgeTakei Friends, my hubby @BradTakei has begun doing the Twitter. Give him a #FF a day early, will you? (I always read that as "pound FF"...Oh Myyy) Ellen Page @EllenPage People hate it when you are not scared of things they are afraid of City of London @cityoflondon Three weeks (30 Oct) until @IanMcKellen receives #freedomofthecityoflondon for outstanding contribution to acting and #LGBT campaign work.

Lea DeLaria @realleadelaria CSUMB Q&A: “may I take a selfie with my face in your crotch.” #likeyouhadtoask Anderson Cooper @andersoncooper Hope I didn't offend @Letterman when I called him "gramps" on his show tonight. It was said with great affection and respect.

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You see, the CSU is financially separate from CapU, which is actually working out pretty well for them these days. The school itself is broke, but the CSU is positively rolling in dough after that CFS referendum that saved them a ton of money. (Oops, apparently we’re not supposed to talk about the referendum. And I just made that up anyways. Sorry Brittany Barnes.) But maybe the school should get a loan from the CSU, and then they can renovate things again too? Just an idea.

once I saw it all come together on the page, although I still think I was way harder on Aramark than I was on her. I met Bulcroft once — she was actually pretty nice, unlike the soggy fries that came with my lunch today.

Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH Hey @SethMeyers, your very sexy wife was waiting for me backstage after my segment. She smells like heaven...

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NEWS

THERESE GUIEB NEWS EDITOR

Youth politics

LIBERAL CANDIDATES VISIT CAMPUS

Kevin Kapenda × Writer On Oct. 27, Capilano University will be hosting a networking event with the North Shore’s three Liberal candidates for members of parliament: Pamela Goldsmith-Jones, Jonathan Wilkinson and Terry Beech. Former West Vancouver mayor, Goldsmith-Jones, will be running in the West Van-Sunshine Coast-Sea-to-Sky Country riding. Jonathan Wilkinson will run in North Vancouver, while former Burnaby city councilor Terry Beech is running in the newly created riding of Burnaby-North Seymour. Between now and next year’s election, the three candidates will be hosting multiple youth engagement events across the region on campuses, and in other public venues.

For the Liberal candidates, youth outreach is an important part of their campaigns because it allows them to understand many of the issues young people are facing today and helps young people understand how they can impact politics and decision-making. “When I was seeking the Liberal nomination in my riding, some young people hosted an event at Ambleside Secondary School at which many students joined the Liberal Party,”

explains Goldsmith-Jones. “They asked many great questions about prostitution laws, human rights and many other important policies.”

While youth outreach may be daunting for some politicians, the three candidates are having an easy time connecting with millennials because many young people are already involved in their campaigns. “I also have many university students in my campaign team, serving as interns and canvassing directors. Overall, I have about 18 young people leading on my team, and we’re still looking to build,” says GoldsmithJones. She adds that engaging youth will not only benefit her party in next year’s election, but will help the Liberals in the long-term as well. “Most of the people in our riding are either under 18 or over 65.”

Beech and Wilkinson have also been working with many young people in their respective campaigns. Beech, a graduate of SFU and CapU, has been working with many students from the SFU Young Liberals, because the university is located in his riding of Burnaby North-Seymour. “We have a pretty vigorous group of young people who are involved in my campaign. A couple of the key positions in my campaign are filled by current university students. The fact is the more our young people engage in politics; the more

it will benefit them in terms of policies,” notes Beech. Wilkinson has separated his campaign into committees, in which young volunteers are welcome to join whichever ones they are interested in. “I have a number of young people on my team, and a number of young people volunteering on different committees. Many young people are on my engagement committee, which has a youth engagement component,” says Wilkinson.

In recent years, youth voter turnout in federal elections has declined. Wilkinson believes this is because Canadian politics has become too adversarial, with the current government shouldering most of the blame. “The Conservative Party passed a Fair elections Act, that no longer allows Elections Canada to visit university campuses and sign students up to vote. The only reason why they’d do that is because young people don’t tend to vote Conservative,” he says. However, Wilkinson also conceded that the responsibility to vote ultimately lies with young people. “If young people don’t vote, decisions will be made by people from different generations with different interests.”

In terms of policies, the three candidates were eager to discuss many different Liberal party positions. Goldsmith-Jones talked about how their party is committed to developing clean technologies and restoring environmental regulation.

“Justin Trudeau has showed interest developing renewable energy. That sector is growing. Young

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

people are vitally interested in that, because it leads to innovation and new technology,” she explains. Beech has talked about restoring income equality win by investing in programs that help creative Canadians commercialize their ideas.

“One of the pillars of the Liberal platform revolves around giving the Middle Class a raise through innovation and entrepreneurship. We need to give young people the power and resources to commercialize their ideas, and create technology related jobs right here in Canada.” Beech believes more government investment in innovation and entrepreneurship is necessary because too many students are not developing their ideas due to a lack of support. Wilkinson touched on many youth-centric issues, including having a national conversation on the costs of advanced education.

“Post-secondary education funding is an issue of ours that will resonate with many young people.

Since becoming Prime Minister in 2006, Harper has not once opened up a conversation on postsecondary education funding, a discussion we need to have,” says Wilkinson.

The Liberal event will be open to all students and people in the community who wish to attend. The event will allow attendees to further discuss many of the points raised by each of the candidates, as well as some other issues they may want to bring to their attention. Event organizer, Arry Dhillon views it as an opportunity to introduce students and residents too their North Shore Liberal team.

meet the parents IN CELEBRATION OF FOSTER FAMILIES Carlo Javier

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

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× Lifestyles Editor

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October marks Foster Family Month in British Columbia, and this time, the BC Federation of Foster Parent Associations (BCFFPA) and the Ministry of Children and Family Development aim to more than just celebrate the province’s foster parents.

Over the years, the number of families has steadily dwindled as more parents reach the age of retirement. Presently, BC stands with an estimated 3,200 parents caring for about 5,900 foster children and teens, “I would say there’s always been a lack,” begins Russell Pohl, president of the BCFFPA, “We’re never sure on a regular basis how many kids are coming into care, though I would think that we aren’t in crisis as we have been in the past.”

Working in campaigns to raise awareness for the need of foster parents is not exactly a task left to the BCFFPA, instead the decision-making based on the census numbers is left at the hands of the ministry. “The ministry is always working on different campaigns, we as the foster parents’ associations of course, never get involved in that, other than our small group of people that we direct the association with,” says Pohl, “The reason why is that the Ministry is in charge of those numbers, and can certainly dictate as to when they need the extra foster homes.”

It’s also taken into account that unlike many other calls for participation, people can’t simply become a foster parent, Stephanie Cadieux, Minister of Children and Family Development told the Province that “being a foster parent isn’t a job, it’s a calling.”

Requirements and eligibility prior to becoming a foster parent are simple. Basic necessities such as being above the age of 19 and being a resident of BC are among the typical prerequisites. Beyond that, the factors become more predicated to one’s affection for children. “You need to have a love for kids, you need to have time to spend with them, you need to have the

× Cristian Fowlie

ability to have a bedroom of their own, you don’t need to own your own home. You don’t need to be married,” notes Pohl. Potential foster parents are also checked not only for their love of kids, but also their previous experiences with children. “There are very basic requirements to get in. You have to have some experience working with children and they want to know that you can handle children. Whether you’ve worked in a daycare, whether you had five or six siblings you looked after, or any of those types of scenarios,” says Pohl. Upon approval, foster parents are encouraged to further their horizons by taking supplementary trainings and workshops so that they can continue developing their abilities in nurturing foster children.

A misconception surrounding foster families might be its difference with outright adoption.

The main goal of a foster parent is to take care

and house children until they’ve returned to their homes, or to a safe family member, or to another home that may potentially adopt them.

According to Phol, the goal is, “to have a safe return of a child to their families.” There are also instances in which children remain with their foster families and potentially may not move.

Ultimately for Pohl, the hope is for the betterment of the children, “What I would hope that foster kids eventually feel, and possibly in hindsight looking back as an adult, is that someone in the community loved them enough to give them a home, to give them a life that they potentially wouldn’t have gotten elsewhere.”

“My family’s motto is if I can make a difference in a child’s life in 15 minutes, if they can leave my house and remember that foster home as being somewhere that‘s safe, good, kind, and loving, then I’ve done my job,” explains Pohl.

At the beginning of October, the BCFFPA hosted their kick off for Foster Family Month, and as the month goes on, local communities and groups at various regions will host their respective events in celebration of foster parents in their area. Groups will organize gatherings such as picnics, luncheons, or dinners and give foster parents some appreciation for the work they do with BC’s children.

Pohl suggests a gesture that’s simpler than an organized event, but will just might mean much more to the BC’s foster parents, “I would say that if you have or know of a foster parent give them a big hug and you know thank them for a job well done. I think that too often, foster parents are seen as people who are just trying to make money, and that definitely is not the case.”

nature's calling PLANTING IDEAS FOR SUSTAINABILITY Sarah Bonin × Writer Earthworks was created in December 2011 by the faculties of Biology, Geography, Liberal Studies, Outdoor Recreation and Tourism and the past Go Beyond program at Capilano University. It was made to raise environmental awareness on campus. “The initiative was born out of a need for consilience. the jumping together of knowledge across disciplines. Universities have a moral and academic responsibility to provide students with a learning format for such unification,” explains Marja de Jong Westman, biology professor and coordinator at CapU. Go Beyond was a provincially supported program at CapU in 2011 that raised the issue of sus-

tainability on campus. The program also helped create Earthworks through its student representative, Tiaré Jung. CapU’s goal on sustainability is to “use educational activities to engage the University community and promote environmental awareness, local action, and global thinking.”

Free lecture, films, guest speakers and field trips focused on sustainability will be hosted by CapU from the fall 2014 semester through the spring of 2015 as part of this year’s Waste, Water and Wetlands series. “Earthworks helps the students understand the science behind environmental issues and to get the data about environmental health. It also provide students with a pathway to make changes,” says de Jong Westman.

All events are open to students, staff and members of the public as well, because Earthworks’ mis-

news sion is to not only bring awareness and inspiration surrounding environmental issues to CapU, but also to the community.

Earthworks has been so successful with its initial mission and objectives that it encouraged the upbringing of events and projects outside of the series. “[The] Earthworks initiative was so successful that our sustainability office decided to get more student internships around campus. There is now a Powerworks, a Garden Patchwork, and a FoodWorks [with] student interns around campus, in addition to Earthworks. These other internships have grown out of the success of Earthworks,” says de Jong Westman.

“Sustainability and environment as a Global Stewardship student meant a lot to me. This year I wanted to be more active on campus and try to engage other students,” notes Taylor Krekoski, student organizer of Earthworks.

Earthworks’ implication on campus can be easily seen this year. Since the beginning of the semester, students have been able to see the Zero Waste

Stations on campus. The new system of recycling will help CapU adjust to Metro Vancouver’s organic disposal ban. The new process will also teach the students and staff at CapU how to segregate waste properly. “Zero waste bins all around campus are drastically reducing our amount of waste that goes to landfills,” explains Krekoski.

“The present success of Earthworks allows us to be very optimistic about its continuing tenure.

It will probably grow into an actual program. It will be a mind-growing program that will bring together lots of disciplines,” says de Jong Westman.

For more information on Earthworks visit Capilanou.ca/earthworks.

× Vivian Liu

the benefits of binners LOCAL PROJECT STARTS CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SOCIAL AWARENESS Leah Scheitel × Editor-in-Chief At just six-months old, the Binners’ Project is already making an impact in the Vancouver community. The Binners’ Project is dedicated to helping less fortunate people in Vancouver by engaging them in conversations and different community involvement initiatives. The project is named after people who search through dumpsters and public garbage cans for things they can salvage and make a small profit from.

Vancouver local, Ken Lyotier, spearheaded the movement and has the right experience to make him perfect for this job.

“I have been a binner – let’s put it that way.

I did binning a long time years ago, and then organized with other binners to start United We Can, which is a bottle depot that was one of the earliest bottle depots in Vancouver, and worked

there for a long time as well. Eventually retired and took up binning again just on a causal basis and, also with an idea to maybe connect with binners to talk about other things we might do.”

The term ‘binner’ is local to Vancouver but essentially means someone who collects and reuses from items found in garbage bins.

“I think the term ‘dumpster diver’ is more of an international name,” explains Anne Godefroy, a co-organizer of the event.

The Coffee Cup Revolution, an event created by the Binners’ Project was held on Oct. 6 in Victory Square, where binners were encouraged to collect and bring in coffee cups. People were given five cents per cup. While the exact number of cups collected is unknown, Godefroy and Lyotier estimate that the average binner brought in 249 cups. An approximate 55,000 cups were collected in four hours. “We actually jumped the gun because there were people lining up and

we wanted to just have that not happening so it probably started a little before nine, and it went through to 2:30, but I tried to stop it a little early because it slowed down in the afternoon, it slowed right down. I think a couple hundred at least came through, maybe more than that,” says Lyotier.

After they were collected, the cups were used to create street art before being properly recycled.

“We had a bunch of people who were excited about creating art out of coffee cups,” says Godefroy, “The idea was to add a visual sight.”

The Coffee Cup Revolution, as described by Lyotier, is symbolic of today’s modern behaviours of consumption.

“It used to be that people, if they had coffee outside of the home, they sat in cafes and drank it out of pottery cups, and cups were collected and taken back and washed and reused. That was how coffee was consumed. We’ve changed our way of doing that,” he explains, “More than 20 years ago, a group of us organized to do a one day depot in Victory Square where we invited people to bring in what were in those days, nonrefundable beverage containers. That included all the juice, all the water bottles, all the wine, whiskey and there was a lot of soft drink as well that weren’t in the refund deposit system back then.” It was done to generate awareness, not

profits, about what needed to be recycled and reused, similar to the Coffee Cup Revolution.

The Binners’ Project hopes to have more events, but also to engage with the public and with professionals to open a conversation about the less fortunate life.

“I’d say now the project is dived into two parts,” Godefroy continues, “There are meetings once a month with the binners.”

Along with the binners’ meetings are monthly meetings with professors, directors, and community leaders who can talk about social enterprising and hopefully increase awareness. The meetings add more of a social element to the project, but the binners’ meetings are still flexible.

“A lot of [Binners] are very anti-social,” says Godefroy, “They don’t always want to be a part of something social.”

As many binners aren’t advocates for many rules or social restrictions, the aim of the Binners’ Project is to open conversation that is relaxed.

“The idea is to create a community but hopefully not surround it by too many rules,” she explains. To go a step further, the project hopes to connect Vancouver’s binner community with other cities across the nation. The next Binner meeting, held on the evening of Oct. 20, will feature a Skype conference with Montreal and Calgary.

× Lanny Brunn

× Susan Mendel

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× Susan Mendel

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arts + Culture

ALVA TEE ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR

ARTS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Ready, set, action

FILM COMPETITIONS SEE A BOOST IN POPULARITY Heather Connor × Writer Every year, numerous film contests are designed to encourage and inspire creative young filmmakers hoping to become the next Steven Spielberg.

These competitions give the aspiring artists the opportunity to enter their short films for a chance to win a variety of prizes, including a spot on the big screen. Although it’s a great opportunity, it can be hard to put together a dedicated crew, which is vital in these types of productions.

One of the most popular film contest is the Crazy8s, run by the Crazy8s film society, a nonprofit organization. It is an eight-day filmmaking challenge created to provide funding and support to emerging filmmakers. Crazy8s has provided working opportunities for over 1,750 people in the past 15 years. Aspiring filmmakers present their short film pitches through a five minute video then 40 semi-finalists are chosen to present their idea to a live jury of industry professionals. Twelve of those finalists are able to workshop their script with a professional story editor, then six winners are chosen and receive $1,000 and a production package with all the tools they need to produce their film. Once finished, films are screened at a gala event to the big names in the Vancouver film industry.

The Phrike FilmFest 72 Hour Film Competition, named after the goddess of horror from Greek mythology, is a local short film contest for filmmakers in the horror world. It’s a thrilling event where creators of all ages bring their own unique and scary movies to life in just three days. The challenge includes receiving elements such as dialogue lines, scene shots and props with no advance notice, which they must use in their 13 minute creation. Elite judges and public votes decide the winner of a series of prizes, including $5,000 and the Grand Goblin Award.

Doritos has a filmmaking contest of their own. Currently, the company is spearheading the annual Crash the Super Bowl competition.

Submissions of a 30 second ad are being accept-

× J.R. Pinto ed from fans all across the world to win a chance for their ad to be played on global television and at the Superbowl for millions of viewers to see.

The grand winner will also be receiving $1 million and a riveting job at Universal Pictures, one of the world’s largest movie production companies, for one year.

Crash the Super Bowl is the largest online video contest in the world. It has been running for seven years overall, but this is only its second year in Canada. Originating as a way for the company to engage new fans, Doritos has received over 27,000 fan-made ads and has

awarded millions of dollars in prize money since the contest began.

“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a budding film student to not only make their mark but to jumpstart their career,” says Susan Irving, the Director of Marketing for PepsiCo Foods Canada.

Though it is clear that the Doritos competition is made for young directors to expand their skills, some in the field believe these types of contests breed predictability over originality.

“Everything has been done these days millions of times over, no ideas seem original anymore,”

says Nick Cupelli, a cinematography student at Capilano University. “Maybe they are really trying to find that diamond in the rough mindblowing idea, maybe they are simply attempting to market themselves by giving the chance of winning to amateurs.”

Regardless, this does not change the benefits that come from participating. “If you win the competition the networking opportunity is huge,” says Cupelli, “I mean, it’s airing during the Super Bowl everyone will see it and you will be making it with industry professionals.”

Many film students are attracted to these types of competitions and are encouraged to work their hardest and utilize all of their skills.

“Crash the Super Bowl pushes film students because they are competing not only against peers but against seasoned vets around the world for a top spot in the competition,” says Irving, “To get top spot you have to be bold, be creative and be the best.”

In addition to the range of backgrounds, another challenge is working within the competition’s time frame. “These contests can enhance your skills and push you further because its all extremely time sensitive and forces you to work efficiently and problem solve,” says Cupelli, “If something goes wrong, you better figure it out or your project can suffer greatly.”

Success stories have come from participants in all competitions such as these. Previous winners “have gone on to receive commercial work, film deals, Hollywood talent representation and other life-changing experiences,” says Irving, “They want life-changing opportunities. A chance to seize the moment and make it big, that is what the Crash the Super Bowl contest is all about.”

These competitions are also beneficial for the companies, sponsors and contestants involved.

The concept is quickly growing across the nation and has provided many aspiring filmmakers with an opportunity to get started in the industry.

“No experiences are wasted when it comes to contests and filming projects,” says Cupelli, “If you’re always working on projects, you’re always bettering your craft, which is never a bad thing.”

For more information on each of these competitions, visit Crazy8s.cc, Phrikefilmfest.com and Crashthesuperbowl.doritos.com

those who can do teach too JAZZ STUDIES FACULTY CONVERGES TO PERFORM AND INSPIRE

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

Andy Rice

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× Managing Editor Since the 1980s, Capilano University has been home to dozens of heavyweights in the Canadian music scene. The jazz studies department alone boasts a well-seasoned mix of instructors, master's degree holders, doctors, Juno award winners, touring performers, bandleaders, composers and studio session gods. On Oct. 26, they’ll all be together in the same room, and it won’t be for a staff meeting.

Over the past several months, drummer, composer and instructor Dave Robbins has been organizing Convergence, a concert to showcase the talents of the entire jazz studies faculty. “Twentytwo musicians will be performing nine new compositions,” he says, “All new compositions by the faculty, written for the faculty.”

It hasn’t been easy to schedule rehearsal time, let alone a performance date, but somehow Robbins has made it happen. “I don’t think it’s ever been done on this scale,” says Dr. Jared Burrows, jazz studies program coordinator, “There’s

always faculty concerts happening with maybe four or five musicians at a time but this is the first time that anyone’s ever tried to get all of the faculty members, both PMI [private music instruction] faculty and classroom teachers, all in the same place.”

“Everyone is very busy,” he continues, “You’re talking about many of the best musicians in the city and to get all of those people together in one place is a huge job, but Dave is a very wellorganized person and he has worked out some systems to make it happen and it looks like it’s going to work.”

“The inspiration for this project is the fact that the Jazz faculty holds one another in very high esteem,” explains Robbins, “This concert showcases the diverse artistic visions and compatibility of the Jazz Faculty at Capilano.”

Although many of the musicians involved are used to playing together on a regular basis, the configurations will be slightly different for this particular concert. “A lot of us have written music sort of drawing from a pool of faculty members available, so everyone will play a couple of tunes on someone's piece,” says Dr. Burrows,

“There are none of the usual groupings that you would see. The groupings of musicians are all based on the compositions that have been written for the performance.”

Eight composers have prepared works, including Dr. Burrows, Robbins, Bradshaw Pack and Rob McKenzie. The concert is also being recorded and will be available for purchase during the year of 2015.

“We’re hoping to inspire students, we’re hoping to inspire the community,” says Dr. Burrows, “The whole impetus behind it is just to show what we have going on at Cap. It’s not just a school, it’s a community of artists, and that includes the students. We wanted to show the students that even though we come from different backgrounds or are involved in different areas of the music industry, we all really like being together in this community and we want to show people how it’s possible for everyone to work together.”

Convergence: The Capilano Jazz Faculty Concert will take place at 8 pm on Oct. 26 at the BlueShore Centre. Tickets are $20 and may be purchased online at Capilanou.ca/blueshorefinancialcentre.

MEET THE MUSICIANS: Jared Burrows - guitar, composition Bill Coon - guitar, composition Steve Kaldestad - saxophone Dennis Esson - trombone Laurence Mollerup - bass Kate Hammet-Vaughan - voice Lorne Kellett - piano Ihor Kukurudza - guitar, composition Steve Maddock - voice John Korsrud - trumpet Chad Makela - saxophone Rejean Marois - composition Rob McKenzie - trombone, composition Grace McNab - piano Siri Olesen - voice Lisa Miller - piano Bradshaw Pack - composition Darren Radtke - bass Dave Robbins - drums, composition Ron Samworth - guitar Chris Sigerson - piano Brad Turner - trumpet, piano, composition

arts + Culture

I can and socan you MAKING MONEY IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY Eric Seeley × Writer If you’ve heard any of the music coming from the first floor of the Fir Building, then you’ve experienced the art of the talented music students attending Capilano University. The school is highly regarded for its music programs (such as the classical, jazz, and musical therapy programs) and the vibrant culture they bring to the campus.

But there is no argument that the business aspect of a working musician’s life can be pretty tough. Besides the difficulty of finding gigs or publishing works and being heard, there are tremendous overhead costs involved with writing, producing, recording, performing, litigation and copyright protection. These aspects of the business are daunting, but fortunately in Canada, there are organizations that provide support to ensure that working musicians can make a living.

SOCAN, the Society of Canadian Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada, was founded in 1990 to ensure that Canadian musicians, composers and publishers rights were well established and represented. SOCAN is a non-profit organization, and according to Rodney Murphy, the Manager of Artists and Repertoire for SOCAN, they represent “over three million Canadian and international music creators and publishers.”

× Guillem Rovira The organization represents its members' rights mainly through distribution of royalties.

“The main support that we provide is that we ensure that our members get paid when their music is played anywhere in public,” explains Murphy, “Live performances, on television, on the radio, in movies, as background music in restaurants, bars, nightclubs, businesses, and so

on.” The royalties are then distributed to members from these sources quarterly.

Since businesses and events need licenses to play music, SOCAN is able to streamline the process by representing the authors and providing the licensing. This is not only a way to have the music of working musicians played, but for those working musicians to be paid as well.

“SOCAN has been beneficial for me by providing an extra source of revenue when I perform my original music,” says James Martin, a Vancouver-based musician working with the band No Island, “There's a distinction in the music royalties world between a performer and a songwriter, even if it's the same person. Whether or not it's me or somebody else playing my composition at a bar, I end up making royalties as the composer. It's not a ton of money, but if you play gigs often with lots of original music in your set list, it definitely adds up.”

There are many other benefits SOCAN can provide for its members. “Tangible benefits such as group banking, discounted insurance for your home, car, studio, musical instruments, health benefits, free accommodations at the SOCAN House in Nashville and LA,” Murphy says, “If you’re going there to work on your music career, discounts on car and truck rentals and many other great initiatives that lighten the load for the working SOCAN member.”

Murphy emphasizes that working with fellow musicians and authors is paramount to the success of SOCAN. “We use our industry contacts, and

our talent-assessment, career-development, and people-connecting skills to hook up our members with greater career opportunities,” he says.

To become a member of the organization is relatively easy, as long as one is a working musician in some capacity. “To become a SOCAN member, [you] must be a music composer, songwriter, or lyricist,” says Murphy, “And must have created a musical work or part of a musical work that has been either recorded, published by a music publisher, or performed in a public forum such as television, radio, live performance, film and so on, that is licensed by SOCAN.” Essentially, this includes any musician who has gigged in Vancouver at any licensed event, no matter where it may be.

“Once you're a member, you'll need to submit performance information for every time your music is used, and any time you use someone else's music,” says Martin, “You need to provide your banking information so they can directly deposit your earnings, but there is no fee to become a member.”

There is no shortage of talent in the students at CapU, and it is important that they know how to protect it. The music industry is tough and in order to surmount the challenges it presents sometimes, assurance is wanted to boost audacity. It’s good to know that in Canada, there are organizations that aim to provide this assurance, so that musicians can keep working, and we can keep hearing the music.

all the write stuff A CHANCE FOR WRITERS TO UNITE Simon Thistlewood × Writer

× Photo of Karl Ove Knaussgaard // Submitted No matter where inspiration is coming from, it is unique to the one it comes to. “All humans have something to express whether they like it or not,” says Aguila, “There is beauty in language, any language.”

With its wealth of events and opportunities for all ages, the Vancouver Writer’s Festival is a boon to this city. Intelligent conversations, passionate people, and the surroundings of Granville Island ensure it will be time well spent.

Opportunities to learn and hear about the issues humanity now faces across the globe are presented, and the dialogues emerging from this festival allow

for critical views of society to be made and for people to widen their eyes on how every choice made will shape the city and it’s future. Anyone visiting the festival may find a new source of inspiration, discover a new writer they’d never known before or find the sudden desire to pick up a pen and create. “Writing is art,” says Aguila, “And art is beauty.”

Tickets for Vancouver Writer’s Festival are $20-$30 and can be purchased online. For more information, please visit Writersfest.bc.ca.

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

The expression of freedom and art through writing is one that has been in practice long before pens were even made. Drawing intellectual knowledge and inspiration through others is a privilege that should never be overlooked, and the Vancouver Writer’s Festival allows writers from all over the world to do just that. Running from Oct. 21 to 26 on Granville Island, over 80 events will take place at 10 different venues across the island. The festival is bound to be something that “turns reading into a community experience, bringing people together to share thoughts, explore ideas, and witness brilliant conversations,” according to the festival’s website.

“Vancouver Writers Festival invites typically 100 artists, after consulting with publishers and trying to ensure cultural diversity, and authors from each province as well as international names,” says Hale Wake, the Artistic Director of the festival. Events will range from conversations with acclaimed writers to discussions about specific topics of writing such as historical, biographical, fantasy and contemporary.

Taking a different path to experience new things can result in amazing lessons. “Don’t be afraid to take a chance on writers you haven’t heard of,” says Wake, “The quality of writers available is amazing, and [you] may find yourself unexpectedly astonished.”

Wake himself has long been immersed in the world of Canadian literature, most prominently as the host for the acclaimed CBC radio show Morningside, where he discussed books and interviewed authors daily. That expanse of knowledge and passion is something he carries with him and integrates into the vision for the festival.

“Any opportunity for writers to come together and knock noggins is a great one in my eyes,”

says Ralph Aguila, West Coast poet champion of the True North Conference 2014, “No one’s writing is perfect. Festivals that provide the chance to better your writing should obviously be taken advantage of.”

Opportunities exist for everyone in attendance to meet with writers both new and established and hear them discuss their personal stories, careers and primarily, their thoughts on writing. “I believe an artist becomes known through two ways,” says Aguila, “One, either completely decimating the stage with talent or two, making connections with other striving artists. Dad once told me, ‘Today’s world is not about what you know, it’s about who you know.” Children, teenagers, and adults are all welcome to attend the festival as the events are designed for visitors of all ages.

There are a variety of writers appearing at the event. Conrad Black, a Canadian-born journalist, media magnate and known felon convicted of fraud, will be making an appearance at the festival, promoting his new book, Rise to Greatness. Justin Trudeau, the current leader of the Federal Liberal Party — and possible future prime minister — will be there promoting his new memoir, Common Ground: My Past, Our Present, and Canada’s Future.

Karl Ove Knaussgaard, a renowned Norwegian writer, is arguably the biggest name being brought to speak at this year’s festival. He achieved fame with the publication of Min Kamp, meaning “my struggle” in Norwegian, a 3,500-page work sharing a similar name to Hitler’s autobiography and split into three volumes. The length, tone and emphasis on domestic minutia have earned him comparison to Marcel Proust, an influential French writer whose work was equally as long, nostalgic and detailed.

Proust is someone Knaussgaard has named as a direct inspiration. Knaussgaard’s emphasis on the banal routines of everyday life, and his ability to find meaning in them, has allowed him to expertly capture the grail of the contemporary novel.

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art shorts

ANDY RICE ART SHORTS EDITOR

MANAGER.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

Follow the Art Shorts team on Twitter @CAPCOURIERLIVE

Almost ablaze RIO THEATRE, OCT. 16 Leah Scheitel × Semi-Retired Pro Hoe Skiers aren’t really known for their punctuality, so it’s only natural that Teton Gravity Research’s late showing of Almost Ablaze started an hour behind schedule. No one in the sold-out audience seemed to mind, as it allowed more time to chug back cheap PBRs and catch up with friends – the main purpose of ski movie premieres. Almost Ablaze is this year’s feature film from TGR, starring its regular athletes like Dana Flahr, Sage Cattabriga-Alosa and Dash Longe. The coolest part of the film is when Joss Christensen, fresh off of his gold medal at the Sochi Olympics, went to Bosnia, and revisited the site of the 1984 Olympics. Three decades later, the once pristine

Olympic site has suffered the effects of war. It was an interesting perspective to look back on an Olympic site that is a current-day wasteland.

Because ski movies are constantly trying to outdo themselves and progress, there was a night skiing scene with Cattabriga-Alosa that featured psychedelic special effects. This was a cheap trick and devalued the credibility of the movie. The only talent showcased in that scene was that of the post-production team and editor, who weren’t even properly credited for their accomplishment.

This scene was the perfect opportunity to go to the bathroom and get another beer. With the exception of the Bosnia scene, Almost Ablaze proves to be just another ski movie that is getting pumped out. However, it did get the entire audience excited about skiing, and really, that’s all those movies are good for.

NAS

You + Me

VOGUE THEATRE, OCT. 16

ROSE AVE. Andy Rice × Managing Editor

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

As singers, songwriters and tattoo enthusiasts, Dallas Green (City and Colour) and Alecia Moore (Pink) have more than a few things in common.

Their new duo folk project, You + Me, was officially marked by the Oct. 14 release of rose ave., a 10-track album blending their individual styles and vocal strengths. Even before this album, it was clear that Green and Moore have two of the best voices in the business today. And although the world primarily knows Pink as a belter of pop tunes, she more than holds her own in this folky, acoustic singer-songwriter setting. Career-wise, the album is less of a departure for Green, whose body of work — save for that in Alexisonfire — more closely falls into this style. The one problem, at least with the opening track, “Capsized”, is their blend of voices in the mix. For what is ultimately the first impression for the listener, this would seem like a bit of an oversight. Green frequently gets buried in the harmonies, unless Moore is placed in an effects-laden position off

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in the distance — an aesthetic that is used several times again throughout the album. Yet, on other songs like “Gently,” “You and Me” and “Unbeliever” there is hardly an issue of blend at all. Every word and every line are woven together perfectly.

“Love Gone Wrong” is a standout song on the record, although it wouldn’t be out of place on a regular City and Colour album — if that’s even a criticism at all. On “From a Closet in Norway (Oslo Blues),” Green and Moore explore an interesting technique not often found in today’s music — switching back and forth between each other’s vocal registers. Both have range for days, and so it comes off very well. “Second Guess” uses yet another creative device, where the two trade fragments of the song’s lyrics back and forth. It’s an odd choice but they make it work seamlessly. In its entirety, rose ave. is a refreshing collaboration between two undeniable talents. And especially when it comes to Pink, the album sets a new benchmark for the versatility level of today’s pop star. She’s raised the bar high here, vaulted over it like a vocal Olympian and landed beautifully on her feet — with Green as her spotter.

Carlo Javier × Lifestyle Editor It’s not often that fans get to see one of the greatest rappers of all time performing perhaps the most celebrated rap record of the 90s in its entirety. To commemorate the 20th anniversary of the release of Illmatic, Nas, born Nasir Jones, not only treated the ecstatic Vancouver crowd at Vogue Theatre with every song from his revered debut album, he also gave fans a rare look at his life, and at the making of the album with the screening of his documentary, Time is Illmatic.

The screening of the film not only hyped the already thrilled crowd, it also created a whole new look at Illmatic. It delved into the development of the mind and perspective of a then 19-yearold Nas. It put a spotlight on the impact that his family, the streets and the significance of hip-hop in Queensbridge, New York had on the development of the man who would go on to become one of rap’s most celebrated lyricists.

When the iconic sound of “The Genesis” hit the speakers as the credits rolled, fans knew what was coming next. Nas not only performed Illmatic as a whole, he did it in its original order as well. For its entire duration he had all of the Vogue Theatre audience in a euphoric state of mind, or as he put it, in a “Vancouver State of Mind.” Each song from Illmatic had the crowd rapping every word. A fan even managed to score an autograph on their original copy of the album. Illmatic is a monumental rap album, and as evidenced by the demographic of the audience, much of the crowd was there in ’94 when the album first hit the stores — some even had it on cassette, as Nas himself pointed out. Juxtaposed with the introspective Time is Illmatic, Nas’ performance embodied nostalgia, and once again, he delivered that already-famous line that sounded somehow even more iconic in the flesh: “the world is yours.”

Darling

dante hadden

RENEGADE PRODUCTION INC., OCT. 11

WAITING FOR WORDS

Carlo Javier

Andy Rice × Managing Editor James Taylor was only 20 years old when he wrote his self-titled debut album that included classics like “Something in the Way She Moves” and “Fire and Rain”. Jackson Browne was younger still, having writing his seminal opus “These Days” at the tender age of 16. Vancouver indie-folk songsmith Dante Hadden, 19, is continuing in this tradition, with a unique voice of his own and an artistic wisdom beyond his years. His debut EP, Waiting for Words, offers a sampling of what will certainly be a promising career ahead. Blending a live-off-thefloor spontaneity with some studio lustre, the five tracks unfold intimately and agreeably. Engineered and mixed by Andrew Spindor and Will Watson at Habitat Studios, the record is lush and detailed. It plays as if its moving through you, not just towards you, giving a feeling of connectivity and intimacy

× Lifestyle Editor not often enough captured in digital form. The use of orchestral strings, hand claps and four-on-thefloor kick drum patterns are undoubtedly borrowed from today’s indie aesthetic, but they come off in a timeless way here — out of necessity for the music, not the current trends. “Fall” is a strong opener, with bowed cello lines providing the driving foundation for a buoyant ensemble cast of talented players. “Kiss Me” is beautiful and haunting, leaving the listener wanting more, but the penultimate track, Hadden’s cover “Wayfaring Stranger”, is simply amazing. A soulful take on the oft-covered original melody, saturated with harmonies, it unveils a power in his voice that sets him heads and tales above the pack of Canadian up-and-comers. This album is well worth a listen, and the bargain $4 price tag for a digital download.

Visit Dantehadden.bandcamp.com for a copy.

It might be the darker, grittier and heavier retelling of Peter Pan, but Darling still managed to deliver a lively, vibrant and utterly joyous show at Renegade Production Studios. Produced by Capilano University musical theatre grads, Michelle Bardach, Kayla Heyblom and Katie Purych through their young company, Springboard Theatre Productions, Darling offered a provocative musical that’s not always exhibited in Vancouver. The story, set in Boston during the thick of the Great Depression, featured 16-year-old Ursula, played by the commanding yet vulnerable Julie Casselman. It follows her transition from an upper crust family, to her evolution as a dancer at a speakeasy, and finally, to the events that ensued after falling in love with the charming Peter, played by Adam Charles.

Darling stands as not only a testament to the hard work and dedication of everyone involved in the production, it also acts as a narrative about the

socioeconomic conditions of the early 1930. The play dealt with issues such as prostitution, drug use and homosexual discrimination, and its large cast led the way in embodying the spirit of a past era.

Just like any other form of entertainment, Darling had its fair share of standouts and scene-stealers.

Victor Hunter had the audience at the palm of his hands as the flamboyant and witty Jinx. Steffanie Davis powerfully played the bar owner, Stella, and nearly outshone everyone whenever she sang. But it was Jacqueline Breakwell who truly stole the show. As Lily, the confident and emphatic leader of the burlesque dancers, she made sure that the audience was fixated on her, every time. “And whatever you do… don’t you dare steal focus from me,” she pronounced. During its two-week run Darling demonstrated the capabilities of a young production company, the talents of a collection of local actors and most importantly, the power of storytelling through the arts.

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Bonobo Celebrities Nightclub 8 pm $25

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Hozier M 20

Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $20

capilanocourier.com

@capilanocourier

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Sarah McLachlan Orpheum Theatre 7:30 pm $120 *WHOA

Movie Mondays M 20

Your cozy, cozy bed All day $ - Netflix

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The summer of 2011, I was really into these guys, and would listen to them throughout the night as I drove around the province. It was a really weird summer, when I think about it. Anyways, they are playing at Celebrities, and it sounds like a fun time. And maybe you’ll get hit on by someone hot. Davie St. is full of good looking people.

I didn’t know who this guy was either (are you surprised?) but then I Googled him and found out that he’s the guy behind that “Take Me to Church” song that has polluted the airwaves all freaking summer long. I wish I could take him to church and leave him there until he promised to never sing that song again. But if you’re into it, he’s playing at the Commodore. Whoopdie-doo.

This thing is crazy expensive. I know she’s Canada’s golden girl, but c’mon. I hope the ticket price is that high because she is giving half of the profits to the sad pets that she always advocates for and makes you feel like a terrible person for stuffing your face with food while these pets starve. Even then, I probably wouldn’t support it. Student pricing gains fans, McLachlan.

Another Monday means you get to procrastinate and reminisce about the weekend while watching another Courier recommended movie from the comforts of your home. This week, you could watch Rocky, and follow along with Holly, our beloved movie columnist. Or watch the Ghostbusters trilogy. It’s the spooky time of year and Dan Akyrod is still a babe.

Heart-Mind Summit

Kissing Class

Music Creates Opportunity

Strategic Planning Forum

Vancouver Convention Centre 1:30 pm - 3:30 pm $69 - $250

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1819 W. 5th Ave 7:30 pm $49

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The Cultch 8 pm $18.10 and up

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Library 322 9:30 am – 11 am $ - the morning

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The Dalai Lama is coming to Vancouver to teach people how to use their hearts and minds, and that’s why this event is so expensive. If you’re into that stuff, I’m sure it’s worth it, but I think my heart and mind are just fine being calloused and crude, so I may skip it. But he seems like a cool person to meet. I wonder if he has Tinder.

There are a lot of sexual seminars going on these days. And while you can spend the money to go and learn how to suck face better, I say that the money is better spent at the bar, getting drunk, lowering the expectations and inhibitions, then practicing by making out with the last person standing at the bar with you. #oldschool.

This is a dance show of sorts, and all of my dance education came from So You Think You Can Dance, which is a shame because now I can’t think about dance without seeing Mary Murphy scream “HOT TAMALE TRAIN”. This is under the direction of a new choreographer, Crazy Smooth, and is an hour long of hip hop, breakdancing, and other street styles. It sounds cool, and likely won’t be as annoying as Mary Murphy.

Believe it or not, Capilano University is broke. So the administration is asking for ideas and comments on where the resources should come from for budgets and the direction of the school. Rumour has it that Kris Bulcroft will be there in the flesh. It’s almost worth seeing just for that. And maybe they will have free food, but if they do, that should be the first thing cut from the budget. Duh.

G-Spot and the Female Ejaculation

Adrienne Clarkson

Night of the Living Dead

Seth Troxler

1819 W. 5th Ave 7:30 pm $40

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Chan Centre for the Performing Arts 7 pm $20 and up

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Rio Theatre 7 pm $9

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Fortune Sound Club 9 pm $19

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See, another sex-themed event. I wonder who is putting these on. This one is probably worth the $40, as this is something that is a rarity amongst females. Or you can YouTube it, as a friend of mine does. He’s really proud of his talent to make girls ejaculate, and will tell anyone who is willing to listen all about it. He YouTubed how to do it.

But if you go to the event, you may meet a girl who wants to be your test dummy.

Adrienne Clarkson is basically the closest thing that Canada has to a Hillary Clinton. And events featuring smart women talking about smart things should happen more often. So support Canadian Hillary Clinton. She just put out a book, and from what I understand, it’s more interesting than an Ikea instruction manual.

Heckling is one of my ultimate past times, and therefore I’m very jealous of people who have been able to make a living out of heckles. The Gentlemen Hecklers – aka Eric Fell, Patrick Maliha, and Shaun Stewart – narrate their take on the original zombie movie from 1968. Sounds spooooooooooky.

Seth Troxler is a DJ and music producer from Kalamazoo, Michigan. I’m not going to lie, I put him in the calendar solely so I could talk about Kalamazoo, Michigan. I don’t know anything about this place, but now, I want to know everything.

Coolest name for a city ever. Let’s take a field trip there. Or go see Seth Troxler at Fortune. He could probably tell us all about it.

TWERKSHOP

Courier Pizza Party

Clown Kaaaraoke

The Rural Alberta Advantage

303 Columbia 7 pm $20

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CSU Library Lounge 6 pm - 8 pm $ - a wink and a smile

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Funky Winker Beans 9 pm $ - clown nightmares

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Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $22.50

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The name of this is enough to make any girl with a booty want to go. Also, according to Therese, I have a “nice ass for a white girl”, and I have to trust her as she is our news editor. She knows the facts. So I’m going to go to make the most of my white ass. Going to shake it until I make it.

The Courier crew wants to get to know you, so we are hosting a pizza party. Be in the CSU Library lounge, where there will be games, pizza, pop, good music, beautiful people, and prizes. All the prizes you could want. Seriously, the only other thing that I could say to make this more attractive is that Carlo and Therese are both single. This is your chance to get in there. Don’t blow it.

I love me a good karaoke sesh, and this one sounds like it’s a step above average. Is it clowns doing karaoke to hardcore songs? Do they only let you belt out heavy metal songs or ones from the Insane Clown Posse? I’m just curious, so I’ll have to twerk my way over there from the Twerkshop.

Solid Thursday evening.

If we can’t woo you with free pizza, twerking and clown music, then maybe the Rural Alberta Advantage is your thing. They are a band I’ve actually heard of and enjoy – their twangy sound makes me feel like I’m back in Alberta, my home state.

And they just look like nice people, ones that I would want to be friends with.

Loudon Wainwright III

Booty Call Friday

Larry and His Flask

Shop Shop Vol. 3

BlueShore Financial Centre 8 pm - 10:30 pm $- ?

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Your cell phone After a few drinks $ - the shreds of your dignity

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The Imperial 8 pm $15

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303 Columbia 7 pm - 10:30 pm $2 at the door

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I feel a responsibility to mention the events going down at the Performing Arts Centre on campus, because if I don’t, who will? And this guy is cool.

He’s a Grammy-winning folk singer from the States who has fathered some freaking famous children, like Rufus Wainwright. My mom has a crush on Rufus. Maybe I can set them up through his father.

It’s Booty Call Friday, where you drink until you think it’s a good idea to call that one person that you shouldn’t. If you get their voicemail, divulge your true feelings of love/hatred for them on it, and wait for the response. If they pick up, pretend to be from Hot Pie Pizza, telling them that their pizza is ready and they need to pick it up before it closes. For some like me, Booty Call Friday is sadly a daily event.

Do you have a flask? Believe me, getting a nice and classy flask is something that every parent should give their child upon moving out. It comes in handy when you least expect it to, like drinking Fireball in an alley because the booze at the bar is too expensive. These guys are a punk/bluegrass band from Oregon. That’s a good combo of music styles. Should be worth checking out – just bring your flask.

This sounds ultra cool, and I’m not even being sarcastic. It’s a pop-up vintage shop, where you can find old things that are new to you and enhance your wardrobe. It’s only two bucks to get in, and there will be many gems to find in there. Also 303 Columbia is a rad venue. It’s where all the cool people are hanging out these days.

Man Up

Chromeo

Gordon Lightfoot

Ultimate Zombie Walk & Concert

The Cobalt 10 pm $20

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Vogue Theatre 8 pm $40

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Queen Elizabeth Theatre 8 pm $29.50 and up

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Abbotsford Centre 6 pm $60 ish

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Watch lovely girls Man Up, get on stage and strut their stuff with stuff stuffed in their junk. My pixie friend Anne did this once, and I thought she was bad ass for it. It takes some courage, so buy one of the contestants a shot of whiskey, get them on stage, and cheer as loud as you can. It’s always a good time.

I asked Andy Rice to request this for me, then got a confirmation email that he was approved – the guy requested tickets for himself. I was jealous until he told me that he got a plus one and wanted me to have it. So now I’m stoked again, and will be showing off my fancy footwork to these beats.

If our beloved Scott Moraes still worked here, he would have requested to see Mr. Lightfoot for sure. The only new age music that Scott likes is The National. Everything else is from Mr. Lightfoot’s era. I’m just impressed he is still touring. If you go, make sure you say hi to Scott. It’s probably the only social event he will be at all season.

Zombies are such a thing these days. People are all about Zombie culture. But this event looks really cool. Pauly D from the Jersey Shore show is the DJ, and there is a huge $15,000 cash prize to the person with the best make up. There is also a shuttle bus going from the North Shore, so really you have no excuse not to go.

Big K.R.I.T.

Boo-lesque Spooktacular

The Kills

Take a Shower

Venue 8 pm $30

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Once again, I have no idea who this guy is. But Wikipedia just told me that he just turned 28, making him younger than me. People are paying $30 to see this rapper and his talent. No one will even pay $30 to see me write something. Therefore, Big K.R.I.T., I admit defeat. You will at the success of life. I will probably write about it in an editorial, and get $30 – just enough to see you. :(

Biltmore Cabaret 9 pm $9

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Last time I saw a burlesque show, I was with little Carlo Javier, and was so terrified of him seeing boobs that I spent the duration of the show trying to hide his virgin eyes, yelling “Carlo, don’t look!” the entire time. But what burlesque performers do should be marvelled at. I bet they took a Twerkshop to learn some of those moves. Carlo will not be at this event.

Commodore Ballroom 8:30 pm $27.50

Su 26

These guys are the original Sleigh Bells, and first guy/girl duo to really rock out. Their albums have been the soundtracks to different eras in my life, especially Midnight Boom. They promise to put on a good show, and what else have you got to do on a Sunday night? Homework? Pfffft.

Where Ever You Are All Day $ - Hydro Bill

Su 26

If it's been a busy week sometimes taking a shower can slip away from you. Thats better than slipping in the shower though. Because that can end up pretty nasty. So were ever you find yourself Sunday, just remember to take a shower.

You'll feel much better. And chances are you'll smell much better.

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@capilanocourier

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FEATURES Vancouver is home to a wide variety of galleries and museums showcasing work from homegrown artists like Andy Dixon to major names, such as the recent Douglas Coupland exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery. The city, notorious for being lacklustre when it comes to arts and culture, is cluttered with artistic talent if you know where to look. But with the busy visuals of metro Vancouver continually in the periphery, it’s easy to forget to pause and take notice of the artwork created solely for the public. Creative expression is not reserved for the bourgeoisie or those who can afford it — art is readily available right beyond our nose, without a cost of admission.

In a multicultural melting pot such as Vancouver, art speaks a language that goes beyond racial, cultural, social and economic barriers. Public artwork occupies a unique place within the art world and is largely underappreciated. Making artistic expression free to the public, with no cost of admission and no fancy dress or guffawed applause, seems to create a separation between what society deems as ‘fine art’ and ‘street art’ – but neither one is more valid than the other. That is the joy of art — it’s entirely subjective. One person may appreciate city murals over the most recognizable painters such as Rembrandt or Matisse. Public art installations and works make art accessible to everyone, and embracing public artwork invites a creative attachment to one’s community.

Public art is also a cost-effective way to drive the economy of urban centres by beautifying otherwise bland areas. Artwork can draw the community to the piece itself, and in turn local businesses. Public art has historically been deeply connected with development in the city.

Artwork created for the public can do anything from blend in, stand out or tell a story to unite people. The City of Vancouver has its own civic public art program which budgets for potential

FAYE ALEXANDER FEATURES EDITOR

innovative and most importantly creative,” says Newson, “Our program supports art making of many kinds and provides experiences of art that inspire and define Vancouver.”

Brian Liu is the artistic force behind ‘Open Hands,’ six printed acrylic banners located at Vancouver Public Library and currently on dis-

play until December. The work was created in honour of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada. “In this series, I hope to invite the country to be in a posture of openness,” Liu explained in a statement following the work’s unveiling. “When our hands are open, we are ready to learn, grow, give, receive and share. It is only in this of openness that we can properly approach healing and building our future.”

The six digital print panels, each measuring 6.5 metres by 3.5 metres, depict three sets of hands, all in different postures. “In many cultures, open hands are a symbol of hospitality, love and the human spirit,” Liu continued. An Emily Carr graduate, he submitted his proposal to the Public Art Committee along with an impressive resume that boasts creative direction, branding and marketing, painting, illustration and creative writing but is all heavily influenced by street art, and his practices in spray paint.

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"WITH THE HOPES OF BEAUTIFYING PARKS, EMBELLISHING DEVELOPMENT PROJECT AND GROWING LOCAL COMMUNITIES, ALL ARTISTS OF ALL MEDIUMS ARE WELCOME TO APPLY OR DONATE "

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public art projects, such as murals, sculpture and memorials, every year. With the hope of beautifying parks, embellishing development projects and growing local communities, all artists of all mediums are welcome to apply or donate.

The Drawing Board “The City of Vancouver’s Public Art Program seeks to commission contemporary public art that supports critical artistic exploration, cultivates a distinctive cityscape and public realm, and fosters stewardship of places that anchor Vancouver’s neighbourhoods,” says Bryan Newson, current manager of the public art program, “We are looking to enrich Vancouver, explore new layers in a constantly changing environment.”

In March 2014, the city’s public art program commissioned 10 new artist projects overall, which were gradually unveiled monthly through August by a selection of Canadian artists with a variety of backgrounds. Decorating the heart of Vancouver’s main hub, the art commissioned is now displayed at Canada Line City Centre, the Vancouver Public Library and bus shelters, but is not limited to the downtown core. “An ideal proposal is something challenging, risk-taking,

“Coming from a family of musicians, artists and designers I naturally developed a creative spirit. I fell in love with art pretty quick. I learned to be resourceful and found joy in creating something out of sheets of paper, a pencil and a few pieces of tape. I was never content with what is presented to me. Art is something I found for myself,” explains Liu in a recent interview with the Courier, “Art is such an honest and generous form of expression.

Anyone can make art.” Although Liu makes a valid point — that anyone can pick up a brush and create if they allow themselves to do so — being selected by the city for commissioned public art is not common for any artist, and is reserved for the few who happen to capture the interest of the Public Art Committee.

This year, the public art program will be accepting applications up until March 2015 and each will be further reviewed and considered by Vancouver’s public art committee. The committee, made up of nine members; artists, art professionals, urban designers, developers and one city resident, are the final obstacle to pass for artists hoping to receive funding for their work. Resumes and proposals will undergo a gruelling review before being green-lighted for one of the coveted commissioned projects.

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

Raw Canvas By nature, art is all about drawing outside the lines and pushing out beyond the barriers. Artists can network privately with businesses they feel could benefit from their artwork, taking advantage of blank wall space to draw potential clients

and attention to both the business and the artist — a win-win situation. Local businesses such as The Waldorf, Eden Lounge and even the Hootsuite office boast beautiful murals by local artists that help to promote dialogue and engagement in their environments. Yet, with limited spaces available as Vancouver continues to sprawl, and

only select businesses willing to pay art prices for a mural done by an individual or team, the creativity continues to flow in new directions.

With no definitive attributes, public art can be 50 feet tall or a small colourful detail that draws one’s attention to the pavement beneath their feet – so in turn, public art would technically include graffiti. However, despite making progressive strives toward embracing public art, graffiti remains somewhat of a grey area in Vancouver. “Graffiti does not fit into the category of public art,” argues Newson, “The city has inte-

grated programs to help manage graffiti artists.”

Although graffiti is technically vandalism and can warrant a fine of anywhere from $150 to $5,000, urban centres are covered in tags, throwups, and large scale pieces from alleyways and signs to train yards and underpasses. The City of Vancouver argues that “[graffiti] ruins the natural and architectural beauty of a city, decreases the city’s attractiveness as a place to visit,” and that, “Graffiti is often profane, obscene and offensive,” according to their website. Nonetheless, there is a fine line between what differentiates

graffiti from public art.

“It’s the most true form of art. In terms of comparing it to paintings that are in gallery spaces and what not, that are reserved for a select few and that only a certain amount of people will see it. You have to sort of know about the opening or the exhibition and go seek it out, or pass by, go inside and look at it, whereas, you know, a lot of the time graffiti is more in tune with the actual city,” says Jackson Butchart, an Emily Carr graduate and Vancouver-based artist with multiple murals and works in Vancouver and Victoria. “Obviously, in Vancouver there isn’t a lot of stuff going on that’s really crazy, so you get more of the North American/European style of graffiti of just it being taken as an art form. But then you go to other countries in the world and the graffiti is a sign of the life there.”

Strokes for Success Recently, Vancouver commissioned world-renowned street artists Osgemeos (which translates in Portugese to “the twins”), to use six concrete silos on Granville Island as a 23,500 square foot canvas as part of the city’s Vancouver Biennale, an outdoor sculpture and art exhibition that sees dozens of monumental works of art installed on the streets, parks and buildings of Metro Vancouver. The giant concrete silos tower 70 feet over the water and have given the area a vibrant makeover, boasting bright rainbow colours that glimmer through even on Vancouver’s rainiest days. The Brazilian brothers, Gustavo and Otavio Pandalfo, have been responsible for dozens of street murals around the globe, and

outstandingly applied their graffiti skills in creating a custom Boeing 747 for the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Osgemeos began with graffiti following the introduction of hip hop culture to Brazil in the 1980s, proving that graffiti is a viable art form as it has garnered the brothers’ international recognition and admiration for their ability to translate their work into a visual language. From the streets to galleries and museums, Osgemeos are just one example of how graffiti, an art form with a bad reputation, can truly enhance the streets and surroundings of the city and be accepted as both public and fine art. And with Vancouver’s revamped silos looming over Granville Island, it could be a sign that the city is becoming more progressive and placing more importance on art within our community.

“The number one thing if you want to do murals is practice,” says Butchart when advising local artists who aspire to dazzle a wall of their own, “Social media is a good way for people to get in touch with you, but most of the murals I’ve done is because of the prep work I’ve put in, or going to speak with [businesses].” The high visibility of public art makes a statement about the city’s own commitment to the arts, which is suffering at the hands of financial withdrawal from public arts programs.

Yet, art still holds a powerful position in other

ON the Cover

JaCksON butChart Jackson Butchart is a painter, illustrator and designer in Vancouver BC. He's currently freelancing and looking to keep expanding his portfolio. See his work at Jacksonbutchartdesign.com.

cities. Some have even used street art, murals specifically, to build tourism and their local economy simultaneously. Chemainus, a community located on Vancouver Island’s east shore, may be small but since the late 1980s it has become world famous for murals — currently 40 and counting. “Some of the money [used to fund their creation] comes from government grants, private funds and lately the owners of the walls have funded the artwork on their walls,” explained Cim MacDonald, mural curator in Chemainus, in an interview with Digital Journal, “In the beginning one of the artists wanted

to do a mural for no pay – he saw it as a great opportunity to get known.”

The remote town has used public art as an economic development strategy over the past 25 years, and has consequentially inspired other towns across Canada to follow suit, from Stony Plain, Alberta to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan to Midland and Scarborough in Ontario. Murals have become an excellent tool that serve to beautify a community while also showcasing the area’s unique personality. Public spaces are an essential part to any and all communities and public art promotes interaction among their residents.

Public art will continue to captivate Vancouver, whether it is the Public Art Program’s commissioned works, privately commissioned work by local businesses, or renegade street artists continually influencing and sculpting our surroundings. Public art lends itself in defining the city and giving Vancouver a stronger sense of self. It is the artwork that is so often overlooked that gives a sense of the community’s values and uniqueness, like the totem poles at Stanley Park or the red devil statue with a massive erection temporarily standing outside of VCC Clark Skytrain. They are the visual language that is all around us, and the colourful foliage of our coastal concrete jungle.

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× Jackson Butchart

The godfather of Post-Modernism, Andy Warhol, famously said, “Art is anything you can get away with,” and thus street artists continue to hone their craft to be accepted as valid artists within the community. As with all art, especially in such a diverse society as there is in Vancouver, not all art will appeal to all people. Public art in nature is created to attract attention, and graffiti as an art form does just that. “Graffiti is illegal, so graffiti is walking up to something you don’t own with a tool or something you could write with or paint, and write something or make a mark on it.

What public art is, whether it’s commissioned or not, it’s an organized event that is premeditated and is allowed by the property owner — that’s where it’s different,” explains Butchart.

To address the growing issue of graffiti in Vancouver, city council established the Integrated Graffiti Management Program, which focuses on ridding the streets of any and all illegal graffiti. Though knowing full well that eradicating the city of graffiti altogether is not a realistic goal, the program has included a mural team who have collaborated with local artists to create legal murals in Vancouver that beautify the areas, while also reducing graffiti vandalism. By giving local artists a safe canvas to play on, murals continue to support vibrant public spaces, such as those found at the New Brighton Park

underpass and the Ray-Cam Co-operative Centre, both creative collaborations on behalf of the Integrated Graffiti Management Program.

However, Butchart is concerned that there is less public funding going into embracing local mural and street artists, “For Vancouver, it’s almost getting worse. There is a lot less funding, they’ve cut back a lot of funding programs for mural programs with the city,” he says. Provincial cuts to the Arts and Heritage sector have impacted the city and have removed upwards of 40 per cent of all funding behind creative arts projects, which include murals as well as cultural events such as the Parade of Lost Souls. “There is no longer a lot of the stuff that made murals more accessible. There are good and bad things about that. The city has seen a lot of subpar work so I think overall, people maybe care a little less about it. It’s not very good, in terms of an international mural place,” explains Butchart.

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national coming out day: Oct. 11 Submitted by Authors

CapU community shares stories about coming out

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“Are you ready for this test? Study much over

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the weekend?"

"Oh yeah, I spent the night at my girlfriend's house and got a bunch of homework done."

"Oh that is so nice! It is hard to study with kids in the house. I remember the first time I went to college I had study parties with my girlfriends too!"

But I bet you didn't cuddle with them afterwards....

I have now been out for longer than I haven't been — 14 years of being a big ol'queer, and yet I have never really stopped coming out. We talk about coming out the way we talk about virginity, like it is a big one-time deal and afterwards nothing is quite the same as it was that first time.

Just like our myth of virginity, so too is the idea of a singular "coming out" experience — I have had to come out countless times since those first stuttered, clumsy conversations I had as a young teen, and while it gets easier, it doesn't always get less awkward.

My youngest has recently started kindergarten, and we are in the midst of that careful dance that is the playground mommy cliques; one must be friendly but firm, forward in asking for play dates and angling for birthday invites lest our little pre-

cious be exclude from the group.

While engaged in conversation about our wee ones, the discussion changed to how difficult it is to combat socialization in schools when values at home don’t mesh. After all, isn't it so difficult to talk about things like the fact that there are gay people and they want to get married?

Heart sinking, I wondered if I should speak up and explain that my kids weren't too young to hear about gay people, after all, they live with their mother. Is this the part where I put on the activist hat and talk about the need to address sexuality at a young age so children grow up knowing that it is okay and normal to be gay? Or do I worry about ruining my daughter’s chances of future play dates by announcing that we have an “alternative family?”

There is this ever-nagging question of when and to whom to come out to. If I come out straight away am I being that irritating flag-waving queer who can’t stop soapboxing about sexuality and visibility, and if I don’t come out at all am I lying by omission and being ashamed of myself?

During Coming Out Day I have joined the ranks of friends who post silly things on Facebook – “Y’all know I am gay so this year I am coming out as fabulous.” It’s easy to be breezy about it, after all, I have been out for 14 years (with excep-

tions). Coming out is something that we will do time and time again, with new friends, at school, at new workplaces. If we it say it too loudly, too proudly, we will receive eye rolls and scoffs and if we don’t say it timely enough, we are tricking people, hiding, concealing. So this year on coming out day I came out again, I am a lesbian, queer, mom of two, pretty good at baking, bookaholic lit nerd. But I bet that won’t the last time.

- Kaschelle Theissen

I have an imaginary ex-boyfriend and he has done many things. I invented him by accident: it was my first day on the job and I had just entered the back room to put on my name tag. The girl I was taking over for was looking down at her phone with a furrowed brow. “God, my boyfriend takes forever to text back,” she said. I saw an opportunity: “My ex-boyfriend was a shitty texter too.

It sucks, doesn’t it?” She sighed. I slipped on my nametag and left. Frankly, I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it sooner.

There’s a bit of a problem in the way that most straight people conceptualize coming out. That problem is implicit in the very familiar question “so when did you come out?” I usually tell them

“14” and give them my well-rehearsed story, but I’m lying by omission. A truer answer would sound something like this — I came out at 14 and again every subsequent year. I came out to servers and cashiers making assumptions. I came out to the parents of friends suspicious of my closeness with their daughters. I came out to regulars making comments about my female co-workers and to teenage boys congratulating me on having gone skinny-dipping with “a bunch of naked chicks.” And after coming out I always faced a heavy silence, in which I have to evaluate whether or not I’ve made a fatal mistake. It would be nice if gaydar were real, and people could just know without me having to tell them, because coming out over and over is exhausting. Equally, it would be nice if people stopped assuming “straight until proven guilty,” and therefore propping up the existence of the closet in the first place. That seems unlikely to happen soon though. For now, I’ll stick to seeking out plausible but ultimately fake common ground between those I meet and my imaginary ex-boyfriend.

- Alex Dauncey

“Coming out” had unexpectedly been rather

embarrassing for me; since childhood I was attracted to more than one gender. Not knowing this wasn't normal was what really got me during my early teens — I would look online for answers, finding people far older than me to talk about their own experiences with gender identity, sexuality and over all expression of their true selves. It took only until I was 16 to realize I had to “come out”.

I tried many things yet nothing seemed to work.

I was in a rut. When I finally did manage to come out, It had been completely random — my family and I were at the hospital and we were having our ‘last’ meeting with the doctor; my little sister was getting discharged from inpatient treatment, so we were all rather happy. Something just felt right.

Yet, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried talking over the laughter — my sister joined in, barely able to catch my mother's attention before my step-dad decided to say another sad excuse of a joke. By this time, I was shaking, fear ridden in my throat. I had to tell them. I had to — I felt like if didn't do it then, I would simply just give up.

With a loud, booming voice I literally yelled out to my mother, “Mom, I’m gay!”

The room went silent.

Then my mother shook her head. I wanted to correct myself, tell her that I meant Pansexual. Yet, fear was riding high in my blood, forcing me to halt in any sudden movements. Why did I say, ‘gay’? Sure, it was easier to say than pansexual, but that wasn't who I was!

“Oh, honey,” she started off with a sigh. “We’ve known since you were eight.”

I could feel my sister shaking beside me with covered giggles. My brother sat on the other side of the couch, blinking in disbelief, along side my sisters’ boyfriend who grinned over at me in confused excitement.

The doctor coughed. His assistant ruffled at his papers awkwardly. My step dad then decided to burst into loud, boisterous laughter.

I stood up. And walked away.

- Robin Smith

I told my parents in February of 2012. They were both working two jobs at the time and it was rare for them to have a moment to themselves. I remember talking to a friend online, telling him how much I wanted to tell them. If I told one parent, would they tell the other? I mentioned how they were sitting in the next room and he suggested, “Well, why not now?”

I don’t think I would have told them if he hadn’t suggested it.

When I walked into the living room they were sitting together, my dad’s arm over the back of the couch. They were smiling and laughing. I told them I had something important to tell them. My mom asked me if I was pregnant. My dad just smiled. I remember him years ago saying that if I ever came out as gay, that he would still love me.

When I told them, my dad just continued to smile. My mom just stared, “Are you kidding?”

Why would I do something like that?

I don’t remember the rest of what was said.

Your mind tends to forget in situations like that.

But they were supportive. I remember leaving and telling my friend of what happened. I remember thinking that time had both sped up and slowed down.

Over the past couple of years my mom and I have gotten better at talking about it. She was just raised to never speak about it. My dad always said actions speak louder than words. And this year my mom helped me sew my cape for the Pride Parade.

Being confronted by the anatomy of a woman

has a way of pushing a gay boy out of the closet. In my tween years I was something of a ladies' man, I made out with girls any given night, either in a game of truth or dare or a drunken stupor. But it was all in fun and innocence as long as everything was kept above the waist.

My friend's parents were away for the weekend so she invited a few people over for a night of drinking and immaturity. Unknown to me, there were also plans of intercourse. I was fine with just making out with girls. I could stay in the safety of the closet without actually having to engage in penetration. But as the drinks were flowing and the teenage hormones were raging.

The moment I dreaded had finally arrived. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing, I was expected to have sex.

It didn't take long before I had a psychotic break. I was a sobbing wreck and my well meaning, almost-first-lover became my consoler. We ended up on the bathroom floor, sick from the copious amount of alcohol consumed, and our hypothetical night of passion turned into an emotional bonding experience over a toilet bowl. Muttering the words "I'm gay" for the first time is the scariest and yet most freeing thing you can do.

However, it wasn't all clear skies from there on.

I 'came out' over the next two years, building confidence and stronger friendships gradually. And the truth is, you will continue to come out the rest of your life, with every new person you meet. It’s an endless process. But after the first few times, it becomes a lot less dramatic.

- Jesse Copeland

- Liv Du Hamel

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opinions

GABRIEL SCORGIE OPINIONS EDITOR

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

someone to blame SUING HOSPITALS AND VICTIMS OF EBOLA IS POINTLESS Tristen Schmidhauser × Writer Right now, US citizens are trying not to panic every time they sneeze or get a sore throat. The incurable virus known as Ebola is slowly spreading through America. On Oct. 8, Thomas Eric Duncan, a Liberian native, died in a Dallas hospital from Ebola. He was in the US visiting his family, and had only been there for five days before he started to show symptoms. His family is currently in isolation and grieving their loss.

It’s a tragic, undeserved, painful death. To watch someone’s health deteriorate due to a fast acting disease like Ebola can’t be easy. Many people were sympathetic to Duncan while he was undergoing treatment and were wishing him a full recovery. Liberia, however, responded to the news that Duncan was in serious condition in a Texas hospital by announcing their intention to prosecute him once he returned home.

Deputy Information Minister, Isaac Jackson announced on Oct. 2 that Liberia was planning to prosecute Duncan on the grounds of lying under oath after Duncan said he hadn’t come into contact with Ebola on an airport questionnaire. Liberia was worried that Duncan had made their screening process look ineffec-

tive and decided that suing was the best way to handle the problem. However, a week after the announcement, Duncan passed away. And since then, Liberia has been silent on the issue.

To be fair, lying under oath is a fairly serious charge that does sometimes justify prosecution.

However, Liberia has continued to let people travel to Sierra Leone and Guinea throughout the entire epidemic in Africa. Some of those travellers were likely infected with Ebola as well, yet none of them have been prosecuted, making it appear like Liberia is trying to stay in the good books of larger nations, while disregarding their neighbours. But the fact still stands that Duncan should have disclosed that he knowingly came into contact with somebody infected with Ebola. The problem is that Duncan didn’t know he came into contact with the disease.

Duncan contracted Ebola after caring for a

Ebola is a deadly disease and every person who's suffering from it should be cared for not prosecuted. pregnant woman infected with the disease. He said she was sweating, vomiting, and had sharp abdominal pains. However, instead of thinking

the woman had Ebola, another more obvious affliction came to his mind - pregnancy. Duncan thought he was just helping a pregnant woman and he paid for it with his life. He had no idea he’d been exposed to Ebola, and in some of his final words to his fiancée in the days leading to his death, he said, “I would have preferred to stay in Liberia and died than bring this disease to you.” That doesn’t sound like a man trying to sneak his way into a US hospital.

Duncan was the first of a number of people within the US who have now been diagnosed with Ebola. Currently, the number is below ten, but with the two to 21 day incubation period, that number could rise as the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) believes that Duncan came into contact with around 80 people while he was contagious. While it may seem hard to come into contact with someone’s bodily fluids, there’s still a potential risk considering one victim is a Texas nurse who treated Duncan. Her case is the first instance of anyone contracting Ebola within North America. Fortunately, nobody is suing her for being sick.

Liberia isn’t the only party feeling the need to sue over this tragedy. Duncan’s family is now suing the hospital he was admitted to, due to their incompetence shown on his first visit.

Days before his symptoms worsened, Duncan visited the hospital worried over the fact that he had a fever and that he had come from Liberia only a week earlier. Staff at the hospital gave him antibiotics and turned him away. A few days later, he returned with worsening symptoms and was isolated. Duncan’s family feels that had he been white, insured, or American, he would have been immediately diagnosed with Ebola and could have survived.

Ebola is a deadly disease and every person who’s suffering from it should be cared for, not prosecuted. Wanting to maintain connections with the US is understandable, but prosecuting a man who claimed to have unknowingly come into contact with the disease is taking it too far. The same can be said for Duncan’s family. The CDC is still struggling to find the best way to contain Ebola and hospitals are trying to limit people’s contact with the disease as best as possible. It’s too early to start pointing fingers.

Judging by their relative silence in the matter, Liberia has decided to stop looking for someone to blame. Hopefully Duncan’s family will do the same as well.

talk to the hand STOP TRYING TO BRING BACK 90'S CULTURE Scott Barkmeyer

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

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× Writer

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The 90s are over and let’s keep it that way. There’s no reason to bring them back. It doesn't matter if someone has an urge to rock out to The Goo Goo Dolls. That was 20 years ago and it’s time to move on. For those that grew up during the 90s, please remember that it was a decade filled with bad movies, ugly fashion, and for the most part, terrible music. The only thing that didn’t suck was TV. However, growing up in rural Canada with only 3 channels, even TV was bad.

Here’s a recap of the 90s: Grunge was in and along with it came flannels. This being Canada, not much has or will change regarding flannels they’re a part of Canada’s identity. Following grunge, the boy band craze took the world by storm.

Groups of auto-tuned dudes in matching clothes and frosted tips pranced across stages without a guitar or any other real instrument in sight. Along with boy bands, the 90s was also when hip hop was in its golden age. Eminem, Jay-Z and Nas became superstars and inspired a generation of Drakes to pick up a microphone and make the terrible music people hear on today’s radio.

In movies, there was the blockbuster hit Titanic and the reboot that destroyed a fandom: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace staring everyone’s favorite character, Jar-Jar Binks. Sure, prior to these monstrosities there was some good content on the silver screen. Forest Gump, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jurassic Park and Pulp Fiction were all from the early 90s. But the movie industry of the late 90s was disappointing and full of Jar-Jars.

On TV, there was a mix of good shows amongst bad shows, similar to how it is today.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Friends are still

some of the most famous sitcoms that have ever graced TV screens. Rocko’s Modern Life and The Ren and Stimpy Show also came into existence for those who liked their humor a bit dirtier.

However, despite their high ratings, most shows in the 90s weren’t good. Sure, there were a few classics that can be looked back upon with fond memories. However, the most popular ones were as bad and overrated as How I Met Your Mother is today. Seriously, Friends should never have been on for a decade.

Unfortunately, there’s a resurgence of 90s pop culture currently going on. Marketers are attempting to use 90s nostalgia to get people to buy their products. And it’s probably working too. A lot of people somehow misremember the 90s as a shining beacon of hope and they’re being swayed into buying the newest Swiffer right now because an ‘N Sync song is on in the background. For the rest however, hearing “Drops of Jupiter” playing in the grocery store will only bring back repressed memories.

The trend isn’t stopping with advertisements and marketing either. This year was the summer of 90s music and TV. Soundgarden, New Kids on the Block, Boyz II Men, Outkast and other 90s artists toured around the world this summer playing sold out shows and festivals. On TV, Disney announced that the teenage soap opera Boy Meets World was going to be getting a sequel. Featuring everyone’s favorite high school couple, Cory and Topanga return as a married couple that are the parents of a young daughter now entering the school system. The show is appropriately titled Girl Meets World.

Marketers and producers have zeroed in on their target. The reason the 90s are coming back so relentlessly is because the millennial generation is the first group to have their childhood a

× Samantha Smith click away. “I consider myself a 90s child and every single person that I know from high school is on Facebook,” said Matt Stopers, a senior editor at Buzzfeed, in an interview with NY Daily News, “And when you want to remember your childhood, every single boy band and old TV show and toy has a website or Tumblr devoted to them, so it’s all right at your fingertips.” Rewatching The Ren and Stimpy Show is a lot easier when all the episodes are available on Netflix.

This generation has the ability to impulsively

buy their favorite parts of the 90s before they realize that it’s a terrible idea. The best possible outcome is if marketers and producers focus enough on 90s culture, maybe some of the awesome morning cartoons will be brought back.

Oh, wait, Saturday morning cartoons have been cancelled.

opinions

off the rails THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF TRANSLINK Christine Beyleveldt × Writer At some point, everyone has felt like their bus or skytrain was never going to show up. Recently, that feeling has been correct. On Oct 1, Translink suffered another blow to its already poor reputation when the Millennium and Expo Lines, the busiest in Vancouver, malfunctioned due to software glitches, leaving thousands of commuters stranded during rush hour. Worse than that, Translink executives don’t seem to care about the inconvenience.

“Perhaps in the future, it would be good to take a little rest break, go for a coffee, go have a bite to eat until we get things back under control again.” said Translink Spokesperson, Cheryl Ziola, in an interview with Vancity Buzz. “That would be a good way of avoiding some of the congestion in the stations…and it would also be good for our local economy, too.”

Customer response was far from enthusiastic.

Translink has stated that no compensation will be issued for the delays and suggests that angry commuters stew in coffee shops with their disposable income while they wait for the system to reboot.

The problem is that most commuters utilize public transit because they don’t have much disposable income. If they can’t fit gasoline and parking tickets into their budgets, they’re not going to start buying lattes because the Skytrain is down. While the cost of public transit is on the rise, the overall efficiency of the system is decreasing. Translink executives helped themselves to six figure bonuses last year and CEO Ian Jarvis collects nearly $500,000 annually, yet the general population remains dissatisfied. The system failure was the fourth of its kind in only two months. The problem with the tracks this time was a faulty modem, a relatively new technology that switches gears on the tracks. The modem was less than a year old.

“Delays are very common place on any ma-

jor transit system. People very commonly throw out the notion of a backup system… If we’re talking about that you’re looking at billions of dollars in infrastructure costs.” said Ziola. However, a rapidly inflating economy has caused more commuters to use public transit in recent years. Since 2010, transit users have outpaced the population’s annual growth by over 10 per cent. The result being that Translink is serving more customers on a daily basis and generating higher revenue for their own corporate offices. For the prices paid to board the skytrain, it’s not unreasonable to ask that people reach their destinations punctually. Unlike being on a bus, when the skytrain malfunctions, passengers remain stranded on the tracks and in stuffed compartments like sardines in a can until power resumes, since no detours are available.

In Downtown Vancouver, commuters who aren’t stuck on the skytrain have the option of taking the bus bridges that’re made available and the Canada Line, which runs every three minutes.

For those on the North Shore, Translink’s

system isn’t free of flaws either. Half hour stopovers at bus loops and alternating routes that skip stops aren’t uncommon. If one were to drive from Deep Cove to Capilano University instead of taking a bus, it would dramatically reduce the time spent travelling. Services that people have paid for should work. Bosses don’t like late employees, flights don’t sit on runways waiting for passengers to arrive at their leisure, and final exam administrators certainly don’t take kindly to tardy students. In a time where everyone is in a hurry, coffee breaks aren’t always the solution.

Reliability could be improved by proper budgeting. Jordan Bateman of the Canadian Taxpayers Federation told News 1130 in an interview that the introduction of the Compass Card put Translink $20 million over budget and during station upgrades, approximately $175,000 is spent on artwork alone. Phibbs Exchange on the North Shore is due for an

blurred lines DEFINING THE TERM 'SEX CRIME' Ramneet Kang × Writer

Because the dimensions of sexual harassment are vague, it's easy to become confused about what's right and what's wrong.

Because the dimensions of sexual harassment are vague, it’s easy to become confused about what’s right and what’s wrong. Taylor Smith, Women’s Liaison for the Capilano Students’ Union's Women’s Collective, believes that media and culture place a high importance on women's

× Megan Collinson At a university, it’s important to draw more importance on daily harassment people may tend to overlook, such as catcalling and verbal harassment. Raising awareness about those issues and having universities willing to handle offences seriously is a good thing. However, considering it sexual violence is extreme and may do more harm than good. Verbal harassment is not the same as sexual violence and it’s important to make that distinction. Violence implies a sense of danger and there’s little danger in cat calls. It absolutely can make people feel uncomfortable and it’s a form sexual harassment that needs to be dealt with, but to consider it violent and to put it in the same category as unwanted touching adds too much grey area for what should be a serious crime.

upgrade. Estimates on the cost of landscaping and shelter revamping are between $3 and five million - money that should be spent on improving the efficiency of transportation rather than the aesthetic.

Budget estimates say roughly 60 per cent of revenue is spent on transit operations, and over a quarter is put towards repaying debts. Translink has its fingers in every pie, dipping into tax dollars paid on gasoline, parking tickets, car and home insurance, and property taxes. Little regard is given for the daily commuter. When public transit can make, at best, an offer to reach passengers’ destinations within an hour or two, cheap transportation isn’t a luxury – it’s tedious.

In regards to Lawrence, it’s important to recognize that she’s in a position of power. As a celebrity in western society, she’s likely to receive more media attention and her words will reach a larger audience than the average citizen’s would.

This makes what she said all the more dangerous. By considering the people who viewed her photos as sex criminals, it puts horny Internet users in the same category as rapists, and by doing so it trivializes the term. What the hackers did is indefensible and they should be prosecuted. What Reddit and 4chan users and the media did was predictable. The leaked pictures getting as much attention as they did demonstrated exactly what’s wrong with society’s view of women. Remember when Chris Brown’s pictures got leaked? Neither does anyone else.

And nobody’s talking about Justin Verlander’s nudes either. The leaks screamed of the “male entitlement” Smith mentions, but the problem is societal — and it’s certainly not a sex crime.

Terms like ‘sexual violence’ and ‘sex crime’ need to be reserved for the worst offenses. It’s great that schools have policies that focus on making campuses safes places for everyone, but it can’t come at the cost of making other crimes appear less serious. There’s a considerable difference between stumbling upon a celebrity’s naked pictures or catcalling someone on the street and committing an offence like rape. It should not be controversial to say that some offenses are worse than others, demand more attention and should be classified differently – no matter what a celebrity tells people.

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“It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation,” said Jennifer Lawrence to Vanity Fair during a photo shoot for their November issue, “Anybody who looked at those pictures is perpetuating a sexual offense.” Leaked celebrity photographs aren’t something new. The internet offers a platform that provides individuals with the opportunity to exploit and expose private lives. While Lawrence has a valid argument, and the hacker can legally be prosecuted, it brings to question whether or not calling leaked pictures a “sex crime” draws attention away from more serious sexual assault offenses.

appearance and sexuality, while simultaneously shaming them for being too sexually appealing or not sexually appealing enough. “While the Internet may be an efficient communication tool, it also creates new risks for women, as there is a lack of awareness on stealing naked images without their permission,” she says. “Not only is viewing sexualized images of women without their permission a form of sexual harassment, it’s also based on entitled attitudes towards women's bodies. Male entitlement is rooted in the assumption that women's bodies should be accessible at all times, regardless of what she thinks.” Fortunately, that assumption is starting to become challenged by schools in North America.

Recently, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a new bill redefining consensual sex at universities. Partners must now have continual “affirmative consent” over the course of their relationship. Those who fail to follow the new rules will face penalties, including suspension and expulsion. “Sexual violence is anything that makes someone feel unsafe. It could be catcalls, peer pressure to act a certain way in a situation, verbal harassment and unwanted touching,” said Jami Coughler, Brock University’s program coordinator of the Sexual Violence Support Centre, in an interview with their student newspaper, the Brock Press.

× Marla White

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columns

LEAH SCHEITEL COLUMNS EDITOR

House of common sense CLARK GOES ALL IN ON LNG Kevin Kapenda × Columnist

Kevin Kapenda has been the Courier’s unofficial political correspondent for the past two years. This year, we just made it a bit more official. Through his column, he will be delving into the world of politics and highlight what students should pay closer attention to. He’s doing the hard political work so you don’t have to.

Since the 2013 provincial election, there has been much talk about liquefied natural gas (LNG) and what the resource means for our province’s economy. Last year, the provincial government, led by Premier Christy Clark, made LNG a central part of its campaign message. Clark believes that the resource is essential to our province’s economy and taxation system, as LNG royalties will be needed to pay for government services. If LNG reaches its full potential, BC could become the next Alberta, with large amounts of energy deposits and tax dollars to provide topnotch services to citizens. However, many critics of the government and LNG warn that Clark may be taking too large a risk by putting all of

BC’s chips on an industry that has too many international competitors. Therefore, Clark’s opponents would instead like to see her government invest in renewable energies.

LNG is a resource that is being used around the world for energy purposes, just like coal. Some British Columbians power their homes with LNG, while many Vancouverites have LNG appliances in their kitchens. The provincial government’s Ministry of Natural Gas Development claims that LNG is also the world’s cleanest burning fossil fuel, as it generates fewer emissions than diesel or petroleum.

While LNG has been around for decades in North America, demand for energy in emerging markets like China, Korea, and Japan is why the government wants to take BC gas global. “Despite over-supply in North America, things are different in Asia. In Asia, the value of LNG is currently linked to the price of oil, making it a higher valued product,” explained the Government on their LNG website.

“Demand is rising in countries such as Japan and China as they look to replace traditional sources of energy such as nuclear and coal with a safer, cleaner alternative. This rising demand enhances the cost customers are willing to pay [for LNG].”

Last May, Premier Clark gave a speech at the annual BC LNG Conference in Vancouver. In her speech, she outlined her vision for LNG in BC and what its development will do for future genera-

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

tions. “LNG will create over 100,000 well-paying long-term jobs, in the next ten years or so,” said Clark. “We have enough LNG for the next 150 years.” While LNG is expected to be a job creating industry, the government also predicts that taxes and royalties generated from LNG will help British Columbians fund their public services for years to come, as health care costs are expected to rise due to aging baby boomers. “Revenue from the new LNG industry will be collected in a manner that ensures a portion of the wealth flows to a B.C. Prosperity Fund. Our research shows this new fund could grow to in excess of $100 billion over the next 30 years,” stated the Ministry of Natural Gas on its website.

“The money will provide the BC government with the means to support government services such as health care and education”.

Critics of Clark’s LNG policy argue that the industry will never reach the government’s projected potential because the resource is widely available in markets that also sell gas to China and East Asia.

Last May, Andrew Nikiforuk of the Tyee wrote that Clark’s plans to sell LNG to China were flushed down the toilet, when China signed an LNG trade deal with Russia that same month. “Across the ocean on a more sober Beijing stage, Russian President Vladimir Putin and his Chinese counterpart President Xi Jinping signed a $400 billion gas supply deal that obliterated Clark's rhetoric.” While experts, including Nikiforuk, are unsure if Russia’s deal will put BC’s LNG industry in jeopardy, what they are sure of is that the demand for BC LNG is smaller than the government claims it is. “If BC does not act quickly and aggressively to enter the

market to export liquefied natural gas overseas to Asia, it will be beat out by competitors. Those competitors include global-heavyweights Qatar and Australia, but also new entrants to the LNG market such as the U.S. and Mozambique in East Africa,” argued Gordon Hoekstra in the Vancouver Sun last July.

LNG will continue to be a key component of BC’s economy for years to come, and will create tens of thousands of jobs across the province. But with an abundance of LNG producers around the world and lack of customers, it may be time for the government to invest in renewable forms of energy to supplement a congested gas market. “Clark’s singleminded focus on LNG fails to recognize abundant economic opportunities in other [energy] sectors and leaves BC without a ‘plan B’ in case the economic windfall predicted from LNG doesn’t materialize,” wrote Joshua MacNab of the Tyee. While the environmental benefits of green technology are great, many experts argue that the economics behind renewable energy are even greater. “In BC, Globe advisors found the clean-tech industry was responsible for 123, 000 jobs and 15 billion in GDP in 2012. Now imagine how these numbers would look like if the province put even one-half of the horsepower it has dedicated to LNG, into developing the clean economy.” With the financial reward of a crowded LNG market looking grim, there is no reason why the BC government can’t build an economy around both clean energy and traditional fossil fuels, since our green technology sector is already booming.

tasha salads POST THANKSGIVING EDITION: TURKEY AND BLOW JOBS Tasha Salads × Columnist

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

Tasha Salads is an expert in all things sexy. She has more used lingerie than all of Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriends combined. And she’s here to answer your dirtiest, darkest and raunchiest questions.

Tweet @tashasalads to air some dirty laundry. If you're shy, send her a DM and she’ll use a pseudonym to answer your question.

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What goes best with leftover turkey? Blow jobs!

In honour of all the excess turkey you walked away with last Monday, this week's questions are dedicated to man's best friend – the BJ. In case you didn’t know, Thanksgiving is one of the most popular seasons to give head, after, of course, the holiday season. How else do you repay your man for spending the weekend with your extended family? Nothing says "you're the best, hunny" quite like a blow job. @GravyLacksFlavour asks: My man's junk tastes blander than a baked potato! I never thought I'd say this, but how can I add a little bit more funk to his juice?

Thought-provoking conundrum, Ms. Gravy.

While the majority of us hope and pray for sperm that doesn't taste like something that's been festering in a Chinese takeout container in the back of the fridge for the past month, you want more flavour. To each their own, as I always say. Are we talking baked potato with butter here? Salt?

Nothing? OK. My first guess is that your man's sperm tastes boring because he eats boring stuff.

Every excretion that comes out of a person's body – poop, urine, semen, sweat, all the good stuff – is affected by diet. You know how when French

× Sydney Parent people sweat it smells like baguettes? And Italians' sweat smells like pizza? It's because those are the only things they eat. You more or less are what you eat is what I'm trying to get at here. In the same way, the composition of sperm is also affected by what a man eats on a day-to-day basis and the taste will vary according to what's on the menu for your man. My suggestion? Try putting him on a strictly Indian diet. Tweet me after a week, I'd love to hear your complaints then. @ExQueenBeeJ says: I used to be the best at giving head. It was like my own special talent – everyone knew me for it. But lately, I feel like I don't have any new tricks up my sleeve. Help!

Giving really good head is like making art. It's up to the artist to learn from the masters, pursue new techniques, and develop your own signature style. There has to be creativity, freshness, spontaneity – but like every true artist, blow job

artists may experience periods when inspiration is lacking. Luckily, that's no reason to give up on what you claim is your own special talent.

Did Michelangelo give up? Did Jackson Pollock give up? Did Picasso give up? If they had, the art world would never know what it was missing, just as the many men whose dicks you might have sucked wouldn't know what they were missing.

Here's my advice to you: try not to get your panties in a twist over upholding your golden reputation. The next time you're set to give head, get in the zone before you throw down. Close your eyes and go as far back as you can go, before deep throating, before anal play, before you got gutsy. Imagine that you're once again that fresh-faced, eager sixteen-year-old, opening wide for the first time. Do you remember the look on your partner's face when his penis disappeared in your mouth? Do you remember how liberating it was to overcome that first gag reflex? Do you remember the pride you felt when he crossed the

finish line? One day not so long ago, you were at the bottom. If you built your reputation once, you can do it again.

As you may well know, a good blow job is about hard work. I don't mean that you can't enjoy giving head – true oral masters love what they do and they own their game. But when your mouth is on a dick you simply can't afford to be anywhere else. Forget about changing your laundry, forget about your midterms next week, forget your own name if you have to. You need to be able to respond to your man's every moan, change up the play, break out your reserves of saliva, and go deep when you have to. Only when you're in it to win it can you let go and trust that the inspiration will come on its own. As horny old Thomas Edison once said, "Success is ten percent inspiration, and ninety percent perspiration" – wouldn't he know it, with all the BJs he was getting from Lady Edison.

columns

YoU haven't seen that?!

ROCKY

Holly Pavlik × Columnist Although Holly Pavlik works in the animation and movie industry, there are an alarming number of blockbuster movies she has yet to see. She is determined to watch them all, and will give you fresh eyes on stories and films the rest of us have all seen. For the record, she hasn’t missed an episode of Arrested Development. She loves Jason Bateman too much for that.

I see my coworker Steve in the hallway at work.

He stops me to ask if I've seen Apocalypse Now yet. "No," I say dryly. Stunned, he drops the keys that are in his hand. Please note, that the dropping of said keys is not a fabrication for the sake of dramatizing this article. Steve's keys actually fell from the grip of his horrified fingers. He wants me to see this movie so badly that it actually affects his motor skills. So, in an attempt to see what else I can get Steve to drop, this week I set out to watch the 1976 classic, Rocky.

The movie introduces us to Rocky Balboa (young, ultra buff Sylvester Stallone), a smalltime boxer who works as a collector for a loan shark. It quickly becomes evident that his heart is as big as his muscles when he doesn't punch a guy in the face for not paying a debt. This, topped

× Taylor Lee with the fact he has two pet turtles named Cuff and Link, shows there's a softy underneath that rock hard shell of a man. Wait a second... hard shell... soft insides... Rocky is the turtle! — metaphorically speaking of course. Mind. Blown.

On New Years Day, the undefeated heavyweight champion Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers of Arrested Development fame) is slated to enter

the ring and duke it out with a fellow fighter.

When his opponent backs out, Creed decides to give a local 'nobody' a shot at the title. He picks the relatively unknown Rocky because he likes his boxing name, The Italian Stallion. And if there's ever been a good reason to fight someone, it most certainly should be because of their name. Rocky accepts the challenge and thus his training begins.

Rocky’s training regimen features many iconic moments, but the best is one I had not seen before. After waking up at a time when I’m usually coming home from the bar, the first thing he does is crack five raw eggs into a glass and downs it in four seconds. This happens in one shot with no cuts. Sylvester Stallone is eggstreme! This moment is a great eggsample of a dedicated man who really wants something in an eggnormous way. He continues to do so much eggsersize that it looks like he’s going to eggsplode. However, what Rocky really needs is to watch his protein intake because eggs are a common trigger for eggzema and itchy skin would not be eggreeable during the fight.

Okay, I’m done.

This movie has loads of character depth, some of which is best eggsemplified — oops, old habits die hard — exemplified in one of the pet shop scenes. Rocky has taken a liking to his buddy’s sister, Adrian, played by Talia Shire — a painfully shy pet shop employee who has clearly never seen a penis. It’s late at night when he decides to pay her an awkward visit during her shift. Sporting all black, leather gloves and stitches in his forehead, Rocky’s looking a little creepy as he tries to convince her to let him walk her home. At first I worry for Adrian’s safety. However, the child-like interactions that proceed between them are cuter than that YouTube video of a pig trying to save

a goat from drowning (which turned out to be a hoax by the way. Boo.) A birdcage of parakeets is strategically placed between the two characters during their exchange. This is the director winking at you, suggesting that Adrian is a cooped up ‘chick’ who needs to be freed from her man-less pen to soar through a phallic sky of dudes. Rocky eventually unlocks the figurative cage door and Adrian flies. She flies hard. So, the moral of this story is: if a creepy looking guy asks to walk you home late at night, you should totally do it. Just ask our Editor-in-Chief, whose cage door is always open.

The fight between Rocky and Creed is an incredible testament of perseverance, with both parties giving it a bajillion percent of their efforts. In the end, Creed is just barely declared the winner. Meanwhile, Rocky couldn't care less and calls out for Adrian, who equally calls out for him. Looking totally sexified in comparison to earlier in the film, it is evident that their relationship has coaxed her out of her shell... wait a second... maybe Adrian’s the turtle! Which then makes Rocky the bird. Or maybe they are both birds. Or is it that they are both turtles? Symbolism overload! In the midst of the chaos the two turtle-birds find each other, embrace and proclaim their love. The result of the fight becomes irrelevant and Adrian’s love for Rocky makes him the real winner. Aww. In conclusion, Rocky is a movie that is worth dropping whatever you're holding when you find out someone hasn't seen it. It’s thoughtful, it’s beautiful and the animal metaphors are off the charts. Turns out this is one of my favourite movies ever in the history of things I've seen. Next up? Anything other than Apocalypse Now — sorry, Steve.

too nietzsche CTHULHU IS R'LYEH R'LYEH COOL Jeremy Hanlon × Communist Jeremy Hanlon is a mastermind in all things off the beaten path. Some of his interests include instant music trivia, moustache cultivation, and wheeling around the office in a swivel chair. With his column, he will explore the world of the niche, and why underground communities are often the most welcoming

so. Thing is nightmare fuel for days. Head is basically an octopus, several hundred metres in height, and the thing can’t actually die. There’s literally no way to fight back at Cthulhu except to sit in the fetal position as your bearings are ripped from your whole being. There are major themes of human insignificance in Lovecraft’s work, which help add to the horror of his pieces. Cthulhu, and all its related characters, though worshipped by human cults, don’t care at all about humans. To them, human beings are akin to dust mites, not worth the slightest consideration and utterly inconsequential. Even more than this, though, is the terror of what may lie just beyond our perception, and of the implications of learning the secrets that hide from our eyes.

In the Mythos, Cthulhu is said to be lying in wait in a death-like slumber in a sunken city called R’lyeh, anticipating the resurfacing of the city where it will never submerge again. The city is said to employ non-euclidian geometry (think the circular staircase that’s always going up) and is located near Nemo point, which is a spot in the ocean that is farthest from any land. There is a line from Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu, which

× Olliemoonsta says "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming". Cthulhu is referred to, then as “Dead Cthulhu” and there is a couplet that alludes to this state of being dead but not, and of the ominous presence of Cthulhu: "That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons, even death may die."

All in all, Cthulhu and its surrounding mythos are very representative of a kind of cosmic pessimism:, all our actions and choices in the world have no real impact, or worse yet, are not our choices at all.

Rather, an oppressive and amoral force, leaving us with no actual agency in our lives, guides them.

And that may be the most terrifying thing of all.

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

As we start approaching the balmy, wet, slimy months that define the seasons we call “all fucking year in Vancouver”, I thought I should take a moment to tell you about our giant tentacled overlord, Cthulhu. It’s important to try and understand what Cthulhu is, so here goes: imagine something so completely inconceivable that to look upon it causes the beholder to lose all grasp of his sanity, immediately. Got it? Cool.

If I was to describe Cthulhu in one word, it would probably be “Fuck”, followed by several minutes of incoherent gibbering as I bled from the eyes. In most media, Cthulhu is portrayed as a cosmic horror, somewhere between a man, a giant octopus and a dragon, and is a kind of god that has spawned any number of slimy monstrosities and has an entire cult devoted to it. Also, the human tongue cannot actually pronounce its name. H.P. Lovecraft, the guy who’s responsible for bringing Cthulhu to the public’s attention, has said that its name can be approximated to “Cloo-hloo” (Khlûl-hloo in Lovecraft’s words), though most will pronounce it “Kuh-thoo-loo”.

Cthulhu is also a giant alien that has been warring with other giant aliens for millennia, and is the child and parent to many equally horrifying creatures, known as “Old Ones”.

On the topic of H.P. Lovecraft (wielder of the Loveshaft), he’s a horror novelist from the 1930s who created the Cthulhu Mythos, and has been credited as one of the great masters of horror, though his work is usually relegated to cult status.

Fun fact — his dad went insane when he was three years old! Fun Fact — his mom went insane when he was 29 and died at the same asylum his dad was committed to! He went on hikes with a club and was given the tribal name “Mighty Scalp Taker”!

He didn’t actually receive much praise while he was living, and ended up dying at 46 after squandering his inheritance. Dude was also pretty racist. Like, people of the same race should be the only people to breed together to preserve genetic lines racist.

The Cthulhu Mythos has inspired and directly influenced many pieces of fiction and pop culture, sometimes in ways that are more or less obvious.

Stephen King has stated that it was Lovecraft who got him interested in the horror genre, and has called him “the 20th century’s greatest practitioner of the classic horror tale”. All over the Internet you can find Cthulhu plushies and jewellery referencing Cthulhu. In the role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons there is a monster called a mind-flayer (or illithid) that is heavily influenced

by Cthulhu and its star spawn. There’s even an episode of South Park that gives Cthulhu its own song. And don’t even get me started on all the Cthulhu-themed board games and indie video games. Cthulhu is everywhere.

Creating the Cthulhu Mythos is Lovecraft’s greatest accomplishment, and understandably

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CAp you

CARLO JAVIER LIFESTYLE EDITOR

CARLO.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

Hoop dreams

behind the mask

CHECKING IN WITH BLUES BASKETBALL

STUDENT ASSOCIATION HOSTS A NETWORKING EVENT WITH FLAIR

Nigel Ching

Therese Guieb

× Writer

× News Editor

The Women's basketball team came out to a strong start last season, but failed to continue their success into its latter half. Captain Jannifer Palma says, “The season is bound to have its ups and downs and having the ability to shoot back up during a slump will be a challenge.” One of this year’s major difference is the confidence the team has in its second-year players. Last season, the women’s basketball team featured a total of seven rookies, and this time they are all returning for their second taste of college ball. As rookies, they earned the chance to see precious floor time in game situations, helping them gain valuable experience unlike other teams whose rookies are often left on the bench.

After spending last season getting to know one another on and off the court, chemistry, friendships and the identity of a family has emerged within the team. The athletes spend roughly 24 hours a week together. This means the potential to get sick of each other stands as a challenge the women’s team will face this season. But with one of their goals in mind — the need to make this a great experience for each other — they will do what it takes to staying strong as a team and continuing to unite as a family. Coaches Ramin Sadaghian and Chris Wiemer ask a lot from all 14 of their players, even if it means sacrificing social time or pushing back homework assignments in order to attend practice. The importance of team commitment is reinforced by Sadaghian’s motto, “All In”. He wants to know each and every player is fully committed to the season at hand. The expected level of commitment may be daunting but this is the game they love, and they will make it a priority.

On Nov. 6, masked students eager to take on the most anticipated event of the semester, called the MACSquerade, will be dominating the ballroom of North Vancouver’s Holiday Inn and Suites.

“The event is basically a networking affair and it’s to bring students together to apply the skills that they’ve learned in the classroom in a real life atmosphere. We also bring in industry professionals to network with students and kind of build relationships,” says Arianne Liu, president of the Marketing Association of Capilano Students (MACS).

MACS is one of eight business student associations at Capilano University. The group focuses on marketing, networking and individual branding. “Learning to approach someone you’ve never met before and how do you sell yourself when you want the job is what our association offers and that’s how we’re different from the others,” notes Liu. “Our team is consisted of 13 students from Illustration/ Design: Elements and Application (IDEA), communications, and business [programs].”

Last year, MACS hosted a gathering called the Winter Social. It was the first CapU networking event that was held outside of campus. But this year, the association wanted to have an event that’s more unique and comprehensive, which also incorporated the name of the association.

“We are going for corporate companies in the lower mainland, more towards like the marketing industry, some advertising agencies and the food and beverage sector as well.” The black tie and masquerade-themed event will have over 15 industry professionals and a keynote speaker.

According to Liu, student engagement is the

biggest obstacle that the association has dealt with for MACS’ networking programs. However their events have been successful because of constant flow of creativity amongst her team members. “It’s really just about trying to think outside the box by doing things that have never been done before,” she says, “That’s how MACS has had the opportunity to stand out and because we are marketing students we focus on how we capture students and how we are going to do things differently. It’s just about making it more fun that’s why we’ve been so successful. “ It’s a business event but it’s open to all students…We’ve opened it up to people outside of school anyone from like BCIT, SFU, and UBC. However, only the first 100 students can get in,” notes Liu. MACS will also have a promotional event on Oct. 23 from 11:00am to 1:00pm at CapU’s cafeteria. The tickets for the MACSquerade can be purchased from any MACS member and there will also be a scheduled ticket boot day that will be announced on the association’s Facebook page.

“I think that students need to open their mind more because I don’t know how it happened where [their] minds are only segregated to ‘marketing events only applies to marketing students’ because every single student is going to need to know how to brand and sell themselves,” reminds Liu. “This event is made for students by the students and I think it should be a huge factor on why we should support each other.”

For more information on the MACSquerade visit Facebook.com/CapUMacs.

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

The season is young, as is the Capilano University men’s basketball squad. Their abundance of youth means the team has less experience at the college level compared to the oppositions – a challenge they’re going to have to deal with early in the season.

Andrew Moon, team captain says, “We’re going to have a little bit of a learning curve, we need to learn the college side of things because it's not high school anymore, it’s a lot more aggressive, a lot more physical.”

Overcoming the lack of fourth- and fifthyear players and going up against mature teams stands as the biggest obstacle for this upcoming season. Despite the challenge, the team invests confidence in other important aspects of their game. The squad is versatile, they are composed of players who can perform in different roles by playing more than one position. Another pronounced aspect of their team play is their ability to push the ball, play in transition and make consistent shots from the field. These factors will prove critical in order to achieve the team’s goal, making the playoffs and then putting together a run to qualify for provincials. Although the squad’s skill set must be present in order to achieve the win, Moon states, “What’s critical to long term success is toughness,” the ability to out-muscle opponents, in addition to retaining stamina and durability throughout an intensive season. So far this season, the team took home a win against Kwantlen Polytechnic University and ended up tied against both Quest University and Douglas College. With their heads held high, Moon and the men’s basketball squad go into the season aware of their potential. The pieces are there. It’s just a matter of meshing together a concoction of young talent.

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× Faye Alexander

A typical late Friday night at the Courier office consists of pizza, loud music, belly rubs, random Rob Ford-inspired dancing and of course, proofreading the newspaper. Therese, Leah, Andy, Andrew and Carlo have been practicing their best poses for NASH 77 (the national Canadian University Press conference held every January). We are more than ready to dominate that conference y'all. Why are the Filipinos the only ones smiling? #FairWage.

caboose

CARLO JAVIER LIFESTYLE EDITOR

CABOOSE@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

toilet humour

Dogwood Building: The oft-forgotten and

A MISGUIDED GUIDE TO BATHROOMS Carlo Javier

neglected portable-like building of CapU surprisingly has a pretty well-maintained pair of bathrooms, except for that little sewer flood incident not too long ago. Maybe part of the reason of Dogwood’s rather well-kept facilities is the fact that 84 per cent of the time, the bathrooms are reserved for dancers doing their make up. So if you know you’re going to be in the can for an extended period of time, I suggest going to these ones. There’s always some dance music and some singing happening in this building. Just add the frequent barks from the dog pound and you’ve got yourself an orchestra — the perfect soundtrack for your loaf-pinching expeditions.

Bosa Building: Sorry, no access card.

× Lifestyle Editor First and foremost, I must make it clear that I didn’t purposefully journey through all of Capilano University’s bathrooms just to write this article. The idea was more akin to nature calling – it just came to me. So I grabbed a clipboard and went on my adventure, visiting every bathroom at CapU. Now if you think that’s cheating then you can go undercook yourself a chicken breast, chug a bottle of gin, do a couple jumping jacks and report back to me on how well you and the school’s bathrooms held up. But until then, you’re going to have to take my word for it.

Along the way I found the obvious worst bathroom, and the one gem. I even made an attempt to get an idea on how to gauge the state of women’s bathrooms, but at some point the awkward glares I received after trying to interview girls coming out of them became too much to bear.

CSU Building (Maple): This unisex, single-

Fir Building: I couldn’t collect enough data

serving facility wins the recognition for the creepiest loo in campus. It’s got this “Ghost Chair” that seems to serve no purpose whatsoever, and apparently, this “Ghost Chair” is prohibited to be taken out of the bathroom. Who knows how long it’s been in there for. Why is it there to begin with? It’s a mystery we may never solve, but one thing we do know is that this bathroom still wouldn’t win even if we were doing a survey of where people might go to fornicate between classes. Eww, gross.

to provide a proper analysis of the Fir building bathrooms — I frequently got lost in this maze of a building. However, our Managing Editor used to drop mad deuces there all the time. He was in the jazz studies program and apparently the standard diet of a jazz musician (and evidently some of the Courier’s staff as well) is beer, instant noodles and pizza. Knowing that, you can probably imagine how often those cats have to go. I wasn’t too surprised when he told me that the toilets on the ground floor are almost always occupied, flooded or plugged, and that the flushing mechanisms are pretty hit and miss. Poor things sound totally overworked. To avoid long lineups, he says he’d often hike up the stairs, prairie-dogging his way toward higher ground. Apparently the bathroom by the writing centre is the cleanest of the bunch and has the best mirrors too.

Maple Building: It’s not surprising that a building that is definitely primed for a teardown would feature among the worst bathrooms in school. Let’s look at the positives first. These ones are spacious, they have very low traffic regardless of the time of day, and the custodians office is just a room away, meaning they’re always kept clean.

Also, no one will really use these bathrooms because the film students who own the Maple lounge will use the Bosa bathrooms anyway. But there is one problem that makes the Maple facilities just plain disappointing – the mirrors are far too small for a bathroom selfie. Seriously, it’s 2014, let’s get that fixed.

Cedar Building: This summer I had an English class and for the entire duration of that course, one of the urinals in the men’s bathroom remained broken. (*Cough* Budget cuts *Cough*). Just wanted to put that out there — I wasn’t sure if plumbers take the summer off too. Our Editor-in-Chief on the other hand, knows the work schedules of CapU’s garbage men, so at least the paper towels weren’t piling up. The biggest problem with the bathrooms in Cedar is that they seem neglected, especially for having the second highest concentration of traffic. The first floor bathrooms might be dirty, but the ones on the second floor are dusty as fuck. They look like they need a broom more than anything. It’s literally a dust bowl in there.

Library Building First Floor: The worst.

The absolute worst, and for both men’s and women’s bathrooms too. These ones are by far the busiest and smelliest stalls on campus. They have the highest concentration of traffic, and all throughout the day too. This is where you don’t want to go for a number two — heck, you probably shouldn’t go to these ones at all. I actually think the only solution for refreshing the Library Building’s first floor bathrooms might be to avoid them altogether, so let’s try and have a day where the custodians can just focus on mopping and Febreezing this place.

Who knows, it could be the best example of unity CapU has seen in a while.

Birch Building: The middle of the pack. Rela-

Arbutus Building First Floor: This one is special. It’s brand new, artistically decorated, and has some space age hand dryers. There’s an ultra modern sink, adequately sized mirror and some near professional lighting. The Arbutus first floor bathrooms are also almost never busy, and they’re always kept clean — therefore I can’t help but wonder what the contributing factors for this might be.

The Illustration/Design: Elements & Application (IDEA) students are based just a floor above and as we have seen with our top-notch art here at the Courier, our friends from the IDEA program are very talented in design, so maybe they had a hand in decorating these ones? Another possibility is the proximity of the Centre for International Education (CIE). We all know how international students pay a wee bit more than the rest of us. Or, it could be related to one of the offices in Arbutus.

I hear our President is based there. Hmm.

The Woods: Sure, so long as you don’t go at night when the bobcats and black bears start to show up. And for the record, I’d still take this option over the Library building any day of the week.

Blueshore Centre (Birch): As expected from a relatively modern and well-kept area, the theatre in Birch has pretty neat bathrooms. However, the real story here is the dressing rooms. According to an inside informant, the dressing rooms are just like your typical production facilities — they get all weird and vibrant. And there are showers too.

I’d like to see them for myself, but I’m not tight with any of the glee kids yet! Hey actors, can I get an invite?

Illustrated by Andrew Palmquist

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

tively clean, adequate traffic levels, just plain boring. What a surprise considering this is Aramark’s home base. (Ooh, shots fired!)

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shotgun reviews FAVORITE SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS!

HEY ARNOLD!

PHINEAS AND FERB

SCOOBY DOO

SPIDER-MAN

Cue the funky jazz, the West Side Story-esque march down the middle of the alley. “Move it, Football Head!” yells Helga, before a civic chorus all call out the title card. Shit, Arnold was cool. It wasn’t just Arnold himself, it was the entire city he lived in, the city bus to P.S 118, the run down boarding house, heading out for a late-night ice cream at Hyunh’s. Hey Arnold! wasn’t just a kids show, it was a slice of life, and the show dished out some serious slices. There’s an episode where Arnold gets fucking mugged, and not in a fluffy way either, I mean he gets his assed kicked and his wallet stolen. Arnold watches Harold moon his principal, gets threatened with a mark on his permanent record, and refuses to rat. In those words: “I’m not going to be a rat.” Arnold was there for literally anyone in distress, no matter what. That’s what I mean when I say he was cool. And that’s without mentioning his room.

I spend almost every spare moment of my time watching Phineas and Ferb in my cozy pink pajama bottoms, even in pure daylight. I have recorded every episode on my PVR and made a typed up list of all the new episodes. It wasn't meant to be a regular habit. It sort of just happened. I was bored one day and ended up flicking through a million channels until finally coming across something, which I felt was appropriate.

My friends constantly tease me when they come over to my house for girls’ nights and ask, "Can't you pick something a little bit more mature?" - it really makes me angry. I wish they could understand how incredibly awesome the show is and let me watch in peace. I am such an expert when it comes to all things Phineas and Ferb, in fact when I went on vacation in Amsterdam with my family two years ago I spent most of my time scooping out pasta boxes with Phineas and Ferbs' faces on them – my family still makes fun of me for it.

Let’s be honest here, Scooby-Doo is a large reason why so many teenagers and young adults smoke weed today. Ask most people who are in “the gang” and they will say Scooby, Shaggy and those other people. Nobody gave a shit what Fred was doing and nobody cared that he was hopelessly friend zoned by Daphne, who’s only use in the show besides giving Fred blue balls was getting into trouble and being the damsel in distress. Velma wasn’t interesting either, though her ability to manipulate Scooby and Shaggy with food was a skill that clearly did not go unnoticed by those watching. No, what people wanted to see, was a man and his dog drive around in a shagging wagon, eat tons of food, and run away when things got even remotely difficult.

Scooby-Doo was Cheech and Chong for minors.

But what do you really expect from a cartoon that was made in 1969?

So it looks like Saturday morning cartoons are officially gone, and with it, any chance of a cartoon better than Spider-Man: The Animated Series. Sorry Looney Tunes, Scooby-Doo, and any other nameless show that just wasn’t worth my time. Spider-Man is the only show for me. Let’s be real here, he’s the best superhero around. Batman, Superman, even the super cool Aquaman have got nothing on the web-slinger. None of these other guys can rock tights like Spidey can. There’s a reason why I have a Spider-Man tie collecting dust. There’s a reason why I own a collection of Spider-Man pajamas.

On the top of this list is the Spider-Man: The Animated Series. The plot was dope, animation was solid, and there were enough twists, turns, fights, and jokes to keep me entertained. The older series might be campier, the newer ones funnier, and Spider-Man Unlimited being undeniably weird, but the animated series was perfect, and as much as Scooby-Doo or Tom and Jerry might try to be great, they’re still dirt underneath Spider-Man’s spandex covered shoes. Thwip Thwip yo.

Eric Seeley // Writer

Keara Farnan // Writer

Gabriel Scorgie // Opinions Editor

the hOt Chart MOVIE THEME // FEMME FAYE'TAL & MONTE CARLO

TOP GUN The original Brokeback Mountain MINORITY REPORT

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 07

GONE GIRL

20

THE PIANIST

Not about race

Ben Affleck’s Dick Flick Sounds like Gone Girl

SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARVES They prefer Little People BLUE VELVET Trending in fashion, Winter 2014 500 DAYS OF SUMMER Recipe for melanoma BOYS DON’T CRY Unless you make them HER

Okay, Drake

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE THE HUNGER GAMES

It’s not

Fridays at Proof

DRACULA UNTOLD Should have stayed untold

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?

Tristen Schmidhauser // Writer