Capilano Courier // Volume 48 // Issue 11

VOL UME

48

NORTH VANCOUVER, NOVEMBER 17TH 2014

ISSUE

N O . 11

CONNECTING TO THE OTHER SIDE...

UNDER THE WEB'S SURFACE <DIV ID="DEEP WEB" STYLE="POSITION: UNKNOWN; </DIV> IF REQUEST.SESSION['DARKNET'] = 'EMPTY': UPDATE_DARKNET = HIDDEN.WEB(ID=INVISIBLEWEB)

IDEAL INTERNSHIPS

BUCK 65

JOHN OLIVER

CAT LADY

CAPILANO Courier

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

capilanocourier.com

06

09

12

14

16

19

News

A+C

Art shorts

FeAtures

opiNioNs

ColumNs

CAboose

North Vancouver Flooding

Meet and Greet

Les Sins Bundick

On Trend

Swift on Spot

Leave the Groundhog Alone

Leah's Happy Family

Leah Scheitel Editor-in-Chief

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

@capilanocourier

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 09

04

The Staff

2

@capilanocourier

Therese Guieb News Editor

of this problem-solving, ever-evolving, student-involving university newspaper

Andy Rice Managing Editor

Alva Tee Arts + Culture Editor

Andrew Palmquist Production Manager

Faye Alexander Features Editor

Cheryl Swan Art Director

Gabriel Scorgie Opinions Editor

Carlo Javier Lifestyle Editor

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Brandon Kostinuk Web Editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

Rhiannon Joseph, Gurpreet Kambo, Teresa Fuller, Ramneet Kang, Rozan Talebian, Christine Beyleveldt, Kevin Kapenda, Keara Farnan, Simon Thistlewood, Tasha Salads, Jeremy Hanlon, Holly Pavlik, James Martin CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:

Cristian Fowlie, Vivian Liu, Megan Collinson, Samantha Smith, Sydney Parent, Arin Ringwald, Lucy Webber, Taylor Lee, Olliemoonsta

To advertise in the Courierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pages, please contact our Advertising Director, Andy Rice, at 778-855-9942 or advertising.capcourier@gmail.com. We are proud to offer discounts to non-profit organizations and North Shore customers. A full media kit with sizes, rates and deadlines is available on our website, CapilanoCourier.com.

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Letter From The Editor Leah Scheitel, Editor-in-Chief

the vanity of friendship "Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one."

- Oscar Wilde

I came home last Monday evening to find the contents of my medicine cabinet placed nicely on the bathroom floor. My toothbrush, face wash, three spools of floss and my collection of tampons were placed delicately in a basket while the antique vanity that held them before was gone from the wall, exposing numerous nail holes in the purple paint.

The departure of the vanity was a long time coming. It belongs to a friend, and last year when I needed to find a new place to live as soon as possible, she let me take over for her sub-letters and ultimately the apartment. Since August, I have been living amongst her possessions – dishes, plants, artwork – everything that you can stuff into a house. And this normally wouldn’t be so bad. However, this summer while I was away tree planting, I compromised our friendship and broke the trust between us. It’s the mistake that has driven much of my life, as it devastated me. The stress of the situation gave me shingles, and ultimately sent me on a pilgrimage to Colorado to write it all out while drinking wine in a reclusive cabin.

Since admitting to the mistake in late September, I haven’t seen her. We have talked a bit, mostly about her possessions at the apartment and my cats, as they used to be hers. But coming home to a missing vanity and bare walls was a sign – she is still upset at the situation, and our friendship is suffering.

Adult friendships are interesting to dissect. As a child, friendships are much more black and white: a person is a friend if they share the better parts of their lunch with you and treat you fairly. But as we age, our expectations of our friends change. We feel like we deserve more from certain friendships while at the same time want to divest ourselves from other ones. Romantic relationships are very distinct in comparison to our friendships. There is a definite start date, with anniversaries honouring said date, and an end date, where both partners agree to dissolve their relationship. At times, it’s not as black and white as this, but it is way more definitive than friendships. As Liz Lemon once said, “Hey, how does an adult make new friends?” We can hardly pinpoint the start of a friendship, as they typically start out slowly. Usually, there are many casual outings and coffees before you’re best friends and holding each other’s hair back as you take turns barfing up Jager bombs.

While friendships take time to start, they take almost more time to leave. And while both parties of the friendship aren’t getting any value from it, they continue to send congenial texts and well-wishings that get less genuine over time. Today, it doesn’t seem like a friendship is officially over until it’s dissolved on social media. Last week, a friend who I once considered one of my best took the time to "un-friend" me on Facebook. And while this shouldn’t mean anything, as I try not to put value in social media attention or acidity, it speaks volumes about the state of our relationship. Instead of having a conversation about the dismal state of our friendship and either officially cutting ties or trying to revive it, she opted for an easy out. I have ex lovers that I haven’t talked to in years that I still have contact with over social media, but my friend’s choice to sever the social media ties seemed very formal. We are not friends anymore, it's official, and it happened over Facebook.

We all have a variety of friendships, like ones that don’t require much effort at all. You can go years without speaking, and then run into them in a random city and pick up where you left off, with all the inside jokes that made your friendship special still in tact. And then there are the ones that require a huge amount of efforts and import. Constant texts of support and love, and where you feel like the value doesn’t equate to the effort required to maintain its health. After a week of bare walls and picking my toothbrush up off of the bathroom floor every morning, I’ve been thinking a lot about the work required to maintain stressed friendships, weighing it’s pros and cons. The thing about friendships that I often forget is that often they have an expiry date, and that's not always a bad thing. People come and go from our lives, and it can be a mistake to force them to continue, as they get sick with resentment or unhealthy with age. When a friendship brings causes more insecurities and confusion than it does comfort, wouldn't it be easier to treat it like a sour relationship and break it off? Plutonic friendships can hinder growth and change as much as romantic relationships, and the more comfortable we are with that idea, the better chance we have to be happier. Creating and ending friendships with class and ease - well, I guess that’s part of growing up.

APOLOGY The Capilano Courier would like to apologize for a misquoted phrase in last week’s Special Feature, “From Boys to Men” by Kevin Kapenda.

The term "emotional constipation" was mistakenly put in quotes, which unintentionally implied that Taylor Smith, CSU women's liaison coordinator had said it. She did not use that phrase in her interview. We sincerely apologize for any confusion or misunderstanding this may have caused and to Taylor Smith for the error.

letter to the editor To the Editors, only marginally related to feminism itself — for example changes in career options and family finances due to an increasingly globalized economy.

In these cases, feminism has become the scapegoat on which to blame ills brought by other forces.

Modern “men’s rights” or “MRA” groups tend to see feminism as a movement that has been detrimental and oppressive to men, rather than perceiving the loosening of restrictive gender roles as a benefit to all sexes and genders. This movement builds on efforts dating back since at least the 19th century to limit women’s access to education, prestigious careers, and independence.

One example that is often held up by “men’s rights” activists as evidence of male oppression is that of child custody in divorce cases. Women more frequently receive custody, and when men receive custody they typically receive less child support from their ex-partner than do women.

However, such statistics do not give a whole picture of what happens in custody cases. The majority of cases are decided by mutual agreement out of court; most of the time women are already the primary caregivers for the children, and men’s average earnings are still, in 2014, substantially higher than those of women. While it would arguably benefit everyone to erode or loosen the gender roles that structure things like custody case outcomes, this is not the approach typically

advocated by “men’s rights” activists.

Within the Courier article on MRA, an erroneous statistic was given as another example of alleged inequities between men and women: that of prostate versus breast cancer deaths.

According to the Canadian Cancer Society, in Canada this year 5 people will die from breast cancer for every 4 who die from prostate cancer. Additionally, breast cancer often strikes at a younger age, resulting in greater years of potential life lost. These are not comparable diseases merely because they centre on highly-gendered body parts. There are substantial men’s health disparities in Canada that merit further study and activism — for example men’s greater risktaking behaviour and violence leads to disproportionately more accidents and completed suicides, and generally shorter lifespans. However, solutions to such disparities lie in increasing gender equity (e.g., more men taking paternity leave, which has been shown to decrease men’s risk-taking behaviour), not in rolling back feminist advances.

In addition to knowing the historical context for the “men’s rights” movement, and correcting misinformation, it is important to note that there is currently no reliable evidence that substantiates claims that MRA is gaining traction among millennial young men. Despite this lack of data,

several individuals have alleged that the movement is growing, and controversial MRA speakers and events — including those on Canadian university campuses — have received much recent media coverage. Articles such as the Nov. 10 Courier article that rely heavily and unquestionably on single “men’s rights” activists to represent men’s gender-related activism risk perpetuating misinformation and divisiveness.

Dec. 6 will mark the 25th anniversary of the École Polytechnique Massacre in which a young man shot and killed 14 women in the name of “fighting feminism,” injuring several others in his attack that specifically targeted female students. In light of this sobering event, it is important to reflect on our past, and to critically examine the claims that men are being oppressed by women’s rights, feminism, or advances toward equity of men and women in society.

The role of men and people of diverse genders in advocating for a more equitable and just society is significant, and navigating the issues can be a challenging one. This is why the Women’s and Gender Studies Program is hosting a ChatLive on Nov. 27 on the topic Campus Men’s Groups: Oppressors or Oppressed? I hope many people will turn out to discuss the nuances and nature of men’s activism, especially as relates to young men today.

Devon Greyson Faculty, Women’s & Gender Studies Capilano University

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

Reporter Kevin Kapenda closes his Nov. 10 Capilano Courier article “From Boys to Men” by urging readers to “make sure you separate fact from rhetoric” when researching men’s rights issues.

Unfortunately, it appears that the Courier did not take its own advice in this case. I would like to make a few points to set the record straight and provide context and clarification about men’s activism and the “men’s rights” movement.

Kapenda rightly includes the fact that there is great diversity among men’s activist groups.

Within feminism there is also great diversity of perspective and schools of thought. Noted feminist scholar bell hooks defines feminism as “a movement to eliminate sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression”—a movement that includes and ultimately benefits all genders. This is the working definition with which I begin all my classes in the Women’s & Gender Studies program at CapU. In the 1970’s, when Western feminism’s “second wave” rose to prominence, men’s liberation (as well as academic men’s and masculinity studies) developed as part of a pro-feminist/anti-sexist/ anti-homophobia approach to liberate all sexes from oppressive gender roles. Anti-feminist “men’s rights” activists split off of this men’s liberation movement, opposing societal changes brought by feminism. Some of these changes are in fact

3

NEWS

THERESE GUIEB NEWS EDITOR

NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

forget about your dreams EDUCATORS ARE SKEPTICAL OF THEIR STUDENTS' SUCCESS Rhiannon Joseph × Writer, The Ryersonian - Toronto (CUP) Some Ryerson educators aren’t surprised at a study that says teachers who don’t believe in students might negatively affect their success.

“Am I surprised? No. Am I disappointed? Yes,” says Wendy Cukier, founder of the Diversity Institute of Ryerson University. “While we know unconscious bias is everywhere and we have to work to combat it.”

Cukier was commenting on a recent study published by the Center for American Progress (CAP), which says students from low-income families and diverse racial backgrounds may suffer in school based on their teachers’ expectations.

It found that teachers had less faith in some students being accepted into university, including: 42 per cent less likely for Hispanic students, 47 per cent less likely for black students and 53 per cent less likely for students

from low-income families.

“For us, what was surprising was that individuals [whose teachers had high expectations] were three times more likely to graduate from college,” Ulrich Boser, a CAP researcher, told the Huffington Post.

The study suggests the theory of a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you believe something will happen, you will consciously or subconsciously try to achieve it. For some at Ryerson, the study wasn’t particularly revealing, and shone light on an issue they’ve been combating for years.’

“I’ve had students come up to me and talk about how difficult it was to grow up in their neighbourhood,” said Mariam Hashemi, a program facilitator for Ryerson’s Tri-Mentoring Program. “The expectation was that you’re not going to go anywhere and that you had limited choices on your future. Now that those students have crossed those boundaries, it paves a path and creates a way for others to

look at them as role models.”

Ryerson president Sheldon Levy said this is the first time such an issue has come to his attention. “I have never heard anything like that,” Levy said. The First Generation project, a branch of Ryerson’s Tri- Mentoring program, offers support to students who are the first in their families to attend university.

Student mentors help to provide support for students in their own communities.

“Our student mentors are ambassadors in their communities, and demonstrate that university is definitely accessible,” said Rudhra Persad, a mentoring officer for the First Generation Project. Zayan Rafeek, First Generation engagement ambassador and fourth-year business student at Ryerson, remembers discouraging experiences with his high school teachers. “There was one particular teacher that kept telling me that I would drop out of university in my first year,” says Rafeek.

“It’s sad to see teachers who should be encouraging students to follow their passion tell them otherwise. Even if you think you can do it, when you hear someone say you can’t every morning, five days a week, you start doubting yourself.”

Programs, such as First Generation, help individuals who may not have thought about attending university, perhaps based on their background, community, or lack of encouragement in high school.

Mohamed Moustapha, a Ryerson student and mentor at the First Generation Project, is one of those students. Moustapha, who grew up in a neighbourhood characterized by public-housing units and high crime rates has taken advantage of programs aimed at his demographic.“I love my neighbourhood but I’ve always wanted to do bigger and better things,” said Moustapha. “And school is a driving force to obtain that success.”

Precipitation Problems RESTORATION FROM NATURAL DISASTERS Gurpreet Kambo

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

× Writer

4

On Nov. 4, 80 millimetres of rain fell overnight and caused flooding in North Vancouver’s Lynn Valley area. The flood left a number of residents with damage to their homes and belongings, and some had to evacuate their homes temporarily.

Although Environment Canada’s forecast advised that an additional 40 to 80 millimetres of rain would fall in the following days, North Vancouver didn’t experience the predicted forecast. As a result, the residents of North Vancouver had a chance to clean up and prepare for further possible flooding.

“We don’t see that amount of rain in that short amount of period all that often,” said District of North Vancouver Deputy Fire Chief, Wayne Kennedy, in an interview with CTV. “It’s kind of a rare occurrence, obviously we get a lot of rain on the North Shore and in Vancouver, but that was one time that I don’t remember anything coming down that fast and really giving us such a run.”

Two local schools were also affected — Argyle Secondary, which had flood water completely submerging the entrance to the school, and Braemar Elementary, which had a sinkhole open right under a concrete walkway, posing obvious danger to children attending the school. Both schools have since reopened.

Emergency Management BC, a government agency, stated on their website that residents affected by the flooding may be eligible for financial assistance, with a deadline of Feb. 3, 2015 to apply. The website stated that the program can “provide financial assistance to restore uninsurable private property and/or public infrastructure damaged in the disaster… To be eligible for assistance, the damage must be from an event which is uninsurable including overland flooding and groundwater seepage.”

This type of event is of academic interest as well, and provides a unique learning opportunity for certain courses offered at Capilano University. Geography professor, Cheryl Schreader, who lives in the Lynn Valley floodplain and is “mere blocks” from the flooded area, teaches a course directly related to such types of disasters called Natural Hazards. She described that the

× Vivian Liu flooding, in terms of a teaching experience, as feeling “quite close and personal,” as several of her students know the area well. “I kind of love it when that happens and I kind of hate it as well,” she says.

“My background is physical geography — physical geography is the study of natural processes. It’s important to study natural hazards so that you understand the physical processes taking place,” she explains. “The other important aspect with hazards is the study of people and place — a flood isn’t a flood if it doesn’t affect anybody. It’s a hazard if it affects people and property, when we study community vulnerabilities and resilience, that’s the realm of human geography as well. Natural Hazards bridges the fields of physical and human geography.”

Schreader emphasizes that vulnerabilities aren’t always just about immediate danger either. There are “social and economic vulnerabilities, like poverty,” she says, which can have the effect of “types of housing that aren’t appropriate for floodplains or seismic areas. The social or economic impacts can be very long-lasting, so students need to understand that recovery from hazards can be long and complex.”

“For every topic I teach in the hazards course, it is imperative that we understand our own context. Here in BC, that is understanding that we live in a mountainous, coastal, rainy, seismic region, with many rivers,” she notes. “The benefits for learning, to having a local hazard occur, are quite tremendous, even though it’s incredibly unfortunate that these hazards occur.” She adds, with a touch of irony, that the day she started teaching about flooding was the same day the flooding in North Vancouver began.

With regards to the possibility of Capilano Lake overflowing due to further rainfall, Schreader advises this is unlikely due to the lake being man-made via a dam, so if water levels get high, more water can be allowed to flow through. “The biggest impact of high rainfall isn’t flooding, but the turbidity of the water, the suspended sediments in there, which affect the water quality,” explains Schreader. She notes that drinking water is drawn from Capilano Lake.

Such an event did occur last month, as heavy rainfalls caused several debris slides on Oct. 21 and 22, subsequently turning the water muddy brown. Fortunately this did not directly affect local residents, as drinking water at this time of year is actually drawn

from other facilities on Mount Seymour, according to an article by the North Shore News. A report on drinking water quality commissioned by the city of Coquitlam stated that “The Capilano water supply was out of service for much of 2013 due to high or fluctuating turbidity levels,” and that it could only be used for 117 days that year.

The North Vancouver area is somewhat prone to the natural disasters caused by rainfall, with the recent flooding being reminiscent of the highprofile 2005 mudslide in North Vancouver, which left one person dead and destroyed several homes.

At that time, BC Coroner Tom Pawlowski made a scathing report, stating that the slide was “predictable and preventable.” At that time he blamed government inaction, and stated that, "The perception that there was an unacceptable risk was not recognized by government or the residents of this area and therefore nothing was done to deal with this problem, which directly led to the occurrence of the fatal landslide." According to a 2008 report by CBC News, since the 2005 land slide, the District has made upgrades and improvements to the drainage in the area, perhaps preventing a similar slide during the flooding on Nov 4.

news

Intern-al concerns THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTERNSHIPS AND PRACTICUMS Alva Tee × Arts + Culture Editor “Take control, educate yourself, be proactive,” says Nancy Tran, Career Development Officer at Capilano University. “Don’t be afraid to seek help or ask questions for a better understanding of certain duties and tasks if it doesn’t feel right to you.

“At times, we may not want to speak up for fear of any number of consequences,” she continues, “However, if something doesn’t feel right to you, it is your responsibility to first and foremost protect yourself.”

For many post-secondary programs, one must spend a certain period of time experiencing the real-life environment of the field that they are studying in. But before they can understand the different rights that they are entitled to, they must educate themselves on what exactly it is that they are about to experience.

According to the Ministry of Labour, under the BC’s Employment Standards Act “work” is defined as the “labour or services performed by an employee and being on call for an employer at a location designated by the employer, except at the employee’s residence.” Therefore, wages are payable when enough time has been spent by an employee who has performed labour or service for an employer and this labour or service can be done anywhere.

Two definitions of the utmost importance that should be learned are the difference between an “internship” and a “practicum”. Under the Act, an “internship is on-the-job training offered by an employer to provide a person with practical experience. Often, internships are offered to persons who have completed a diploma or degree program and are seeking employment” whereas a practicum is “part of a formal education process for students enrolled in a public or private post-secondary institution that involves the supervised practical application of previously classroom taught theory related to course study.” As a practicum is more hands-on training, the Ministry of Labour does not see it as “work.”

“Regardless of the term, students must familiarize themselves with their rights when it comes to short-term employment or experiential learning opportunities and understand the difference between a volunteer, practicum or internship position,” says Tran.

As an intern, The Workers Compensation

× Cheryl Swan Act does apply and qualifies them for all the rights under workplace and health safety as well. “It is very important for students to protect themselves and do their own due diligence concerning their workplace rights,” says Tran, “Empower yourself with the knowledge that is required to maintaining one’s health and safety in the workplace.”

Some sites that would be useful to students include Labour.gov.bc.ca, Workbc.ca, Worksafebc.com, and Servicecanada.gc.ca.

“I believe any type of work - whether it be

minutes to talk about their work in front of the attendees, and they also had tables set up so that everyone was able to find more information on the presenters and talk to the volunteers.

"There was a lot of interaction, [we had] the opportunity to talk to many people," shares Nikki Nummela, volunteer representative from Force of Nature, an organization dedicated to stopping pipeline expansion in the Lower Mainland by canvassing local ridings for the 2015 federal election. "All the different groups knew each other. If I talked to someone and told them what I was looking for as a volunteer, even if they didn't have what I was looking for, they knew someone who could help."

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

be the change

volunteer, practicums or internships - is extremely beneficial, especially for students and new graduates with limited work experience,” says Tran. The experience that can come with a practicum or internship is highly valuable and Tran believes that it is extremely important. “Practicums and internships expose you to industries and types of work which influences and informs your career development decisions,” she says, “They are a great way to learn new skills and hone existing skills.

Practicums and internships allow you to ex-

perience, first-hand, theories and applications you learn in school. It is also a great way to build your business network connections.”

The label of a “practicum” and an “internship” makes the distinction between an unpaid work experience and one that is paid. There are only exceptions when companies meet certain laws. “To offer an unpaid internship, companies must meet certain guidelines,” says Tom Haxell, employee of the Canadian Intern Association, “These vary by province. In Ontario, if an internship is not affiliated with a school for academic credit, an internship must meet six essential criteria.”

Bill 18 is a point of law proposed in Ontario, asking that all internship positions be seen as equals to employees and result in having the exact same rights as employees. “Do your own research beforehand, learn about your rights before going into an interview,” he says, “If you feel that your internship does not meet the requirements, you should speak to the Ministry of Labour.”

Going further and truly understanding one’s own rights comes from doing the research behind the terms. “Students must proactively engage in developing their careers, the earlier the better during their academic studies,” notes Tran, “It is important to establish and connect your career plan to strategic and thoughtful actions to effectively manage your career throughout your working life.”

“Experience is important, everyone is trying to get ahead and get their foot in the door,” explains Haxell, “We understand that.

However, employers must not be allowed to take advantage of an eager, young section of the workforce. We have minimum wage laws for a reason and employers must respect that if an employee, regardless of their title, is doing work for their company, they must pay them.”

Most post-secondary institutions in BC do their best to educate their students of the illegalities of an unpaid internship, but the specific rights one should have is something each student needs to take into their own hands.

This is the experience that will be vital in jumpstarting a career. “Career development is a process and does not occur linearly,” says Tran, “Work experience collected throughout will only give you more clarity about your interest, skills, abilities and confidence to properly advocate for yourself.”

For more information on Earthworks events Capilanou.ca/earthworks.

5

EARTHWORKS CONNECTS STUDENTS AND ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS Teresa Fuller × Writer As students we're told all the time to go out and make a difference in our communities. But how can students start to do that and find out how to participate in community groups?

On Nov. 15, Capilano University students had the opportunity to participate in the second annual Mobilizing Resources gathering.

"With service learning credit open to everyone this year, the point is to get students and stewardship organizations together," says Taylor Krekowski, student organizer of Earthworks.

The annual event focuses on environmental stewardship and advocacy groups who are in need of more help and support on the North Shore. Under this model, students offer their

time and expertise to these organizations in the hopes of making a difference while earning some service learning credits long the way.

Mobilizing Resources began in 2013 as Mobilizing Local Voices was a collaboration between the Global Stewardship program and the Biology department at CapU. Students last year were encouraged to visit the event as an opportunity to find service learning credits either as part of Global Stewardship requirements or as an addition to their transcripts.

This year the event was renamed and offered by Earthworks as one of their events in the fall semester. Earthworks strives to offer environmental education to all CapU students in the form of events throughout the term.

Other events have included film screenings, a workshop on bat conservation, and an invasive

species pull. The event this year was open to all students, no matter what faculty they were a part of, and student participation was much more significant.

One of the activities that occurred during the event was a "speed dating" session. All the participants — students, volunteers and organizational representatives — had the chance to briefly talk with each other. This activity encouraged the interaction of people and served to bring together individuals who were looking for volunteer opportunities and those who were looking for volunteers.

There were 16 different organizations at the gathering from the North Shore and the Lower Mainland. The organizations that were represented were diverse in terms of their reach and mandate. Each of the organizations had five

arts + Culture

ALVA TEE ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR

in town for urinetown CHALLENGING SOCIETY THROUGH COMEDY Carlo Javier × Lifestyles Editor Paying to pee would be an incredibly discouraging experience. But for Urinetown: The Musical, it’s this same plot line that’s made it such a successful comedy – one that’s achieved Broadway success for its smart audacity and socio-political commentary.

Urinetown, with music written by Mark Holam and lyrics by Greg Kotis and Hollam, derives its title from the odd circumstance the characters have been placed in. The story is set in a country where a drought has reached such a severe level that charging for the use of a toilet has become the most effective way to monitor the usage of water. “It’s the story of a corrupt entity, who actually charges everyone to pay to use the public amenities, as they are called in the show. Essentially, they have to pay to go to the bathroom,” says Donna Spencer, director of the production, which will run until Nov. 29 at the Firehall Arts Centre.

“We see the poor people who are having to pay to use the washroom, finally being led by a young rebel

who wants to change this situation and in the end, change the world. He’s encouraged by his love for the young daughter of the corporate capitalist.”

The musical is noted as a sharp critique of a variety of facets in society. It looks at themes that range from capitalism, corporate greed and social irresponsibility.

“Its major theme is about the use of water, but you can carry that forward to the use of any of our natural resources really,” Spencer says, “It’s also about the power struggle between the rich and the poor, and the divide between if you have nothing and how you are treated in that society and if you have a lot and how you feel entitled to have whatever you want. It’s still amazingly humorous.”

Socio-political commentary is not the only lesson that Urinetown aims at, as it also pokes fun at a variety of other musicals. “When the writers were creating it, I think they very much wanted to mock the musical theatre style,” remarks Spencer. Several numbers on the show are noticeably inspired by other popular pieces from West Side Story and Les Miserables.

Comedy has been the great equalizer between entertainment and socio-political commentary, as evidenced by many stand-up routines and satirical

ARTS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

shows. Rosie Simon, a 2009 graduate from CapU’s Musical Theatre program, believes Urinetown shines in making its commentary more accessible. “The show is very, very funny, and I think the writers that did that on purpose because it will reach people more if it’s not a finger being wagged at them,” she says, “The funniness allows the audience to feel smarter, to feel like they’re discovering the message as opposed to being told what it is in a didactic way, and this just does it so brilliantly.”

The way a comedy sends a striking message to an audience with subtlety is a significant factor to why satirical shows such as Last Week Tonight and The Daily Show have achieved such great success. “Take something like SNL today, some of the purposes of comedy I think is also to talk about current events, common facts, something that the whole society knows about,” says Michelle Bardach, a 2012 graduate from the Capilano University Musical Theatre program, “Comedy is a way of putting it so it doesn’t feel like it’s being force-fed to you.”

The characters of the show have been very well received in the musical theatre community. Lead characters Bobby Strong and Hope Caldwell were ranked in New York Theatre Monthly’s comprehensive list as “The 100 Greatest Roles in Musical Theatre.”

“In terms of Bobby and Hope, one thing I found very interesting about their characters is Hope starts on one side, of being very supportive of her father’s

company, by the end she’s willing to sell him out and throw him under the bus,” says Simon, “Whereas Bobby starts off with the ‘follow your heart’ mentality and in the end, he turns the table on that and asks ‘why did I listen to my heart? That’s wrong.’”

A challenge that performers face is the sheer number of shows they act in on a weekly basis. The cast and crew of Urinetown are under the stage lights for eight shows a week, and for the actresses, an excess amount of sleep takes top priority. “You have to take care of yourself, you don’t get as much recreational fun, you have to make sure you get sleep, don’t drink too much, try not to talk too much, no yelling, sleep is key though,” says Simon. Working in a production of a storied Broadway musical speaks volumes for a performer’s abilities, especially their professionalism.

As a whole, Urinetown is more than just a viewing and listening experience — it has an important message and Spencer believes that this message is best delivered with a laugh. “When you watch most comedy, whether its in theatre, or stand up comedians, or however you take comedy,” she says, “It’s usually making fun of some kind of human foil, or something that we, as humans, immediately recognize as a fault of our own, or someone else’s. I think comedy can be incredibly cruel, but in this case I think the musical is actually making us laugh at reality, and making us realize that we are part of it.”

talk to stangers SOCIAL OUTLET FOR NEW FRIENDS

UPCOMING MEETUPS

Ramneet Kang

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

× Writer

6

Sometimes making new friends or finding like-minded individuals is difficult and this exact dilemma has led over 19 million people in 178 different countries to Meetup.com. Meetup is the world’s largest network of local groups and is cumulatively home to around 178,170 of them. Since the virtual world is taking the real world by storm and growing at an astronomical rate, it is now that much easier to connect and meet with strangers.

As written on Meetup.com, the portal’s mission is to "revitalize local community and help people around the world self-organize.” Founders believe that change can be made possible when individuals choose to organize themselves into groups that are powerful enough to make a difference. There are multiple groups focusing on serious issues such as environmental sustainability and social justice, be it through tree planting once a month or coming together to bake cupcakes for the homeless.

“I was just browsing a message board and somebody happened to post a link to a group on Meetup.” says Ian Nickason, founder of the ESV (Extremely Shy-Looking for Friends) group, “I was at a point in my life where I didn't have many friends, so the idea of meeting people through Meetup, although scary, was something that I wanted to force myself to do.” After joining Meetup in 2011, Nickason says that he has made several friends and meaningful connections through the site. “I can tell you that today, all the closest friends that I have in my life are people that I've met through Meetup. I don't think it gets any more meaningful than that.” Because ESV is the most active group in Canada and has over 7,000 members, their weekly meetings and events are very successful. Their upcoming events include attending yoga classes, playing board games and going out for bites.

The website helps people with similar interests such as politics, language, books, careers and hobbies to come together. Through a simple search, the website locates and finds groups closest to individuals and allows filters so that they are able to list

Nov. 17, 5 pm

Board Games Nov. 18, 6:45 pm The Art of Flirting Nov. 19, 4:30 pm

The Future or iOS Development Nov. 20, 6:30 pm

German Language Meetup Nov. 21, 8 pm

Dance the Night Away Nov. 22, 10 am

Street Photography Nov. 23, 2:30 pm

Craft Beer Sundays × Megan Collinson their interests. Within the Greater Vancouver area alone, there are countless different groups covering an array of different topics. Starting a group can have a monthly fee ranging from only $10 to $18.

From knitting, fitness, meditation, paranormal, ESL and UFO conspiracy groups to anything in between, one is likely to find others who share a very similar interest — no matter how bizarre it may seem. Language skill improvement can also be made through Meetup, as the website provides dozens of local groups getting together weekly at large coffee shops, making for a fun and dynamic way to learn a new language. If stress is what hinders one’s well-being, a quick search for “meditation” or “relaxation” on Meetup will provide meditation and hypnosis workshops near by instantaneously.

Groups like one named Geeks and Gamers have a lot fewer members and their events are usually

hosted at the house of an organizer. John Smith*, founder of the group, claims that he fell into a deep depression after playing World of Warcraft for a number of years and says, “I had invested so much time playing that game, I lost touch with a lot of my real life friends and family. I had spent so much time in a virtual world, that I lost touch with the real world.” His co-organizer, Trudy Hansen*, became someone who he is now happily dating, and they say that none of it would have been made possible had it not been for Meetup.

“We both do continue to use Meetup to pursue and enhance our hobbies and passions as well as making new friends and acquaintances along the way,” says Hansen, “Meetup is a great way to meet others while doing things in life that you love to do. She also runs a separate group titled Mingling in Delta that allows residents to sample many dif-

ferent activities such as nights out, walks, dinners, potlucks, picnics and more on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Though the group attracts many singles looking for potential partners, the focus of the group is meant to create friendships.

Now a successful online social networking portal, Meetup was originally launched in 2002 after the tragic 9/11 incident at the World Trade Centres as an effort to bring people together and provide them a sense of comfort and connection among others. Today, the team behind this initiative has grown to consist of six members on a board of directors and over 100 employees, all of whom are recognized on the website. Meetup makes it incredibly easy for anyone to organize a local group, work on a new skill, or simply find company on the path to their lifelong goals. *Name changed by request.

arts + Culture

Ear CAndy THE PONDEROSAS ARE TAKING THE STAGE Rozan Talebian × Writer

× Contributed

The Ponderosas are a diverse group of musicians with a sound that transforms soul, funk, reggae and R&B into a new state-of-the-art contemporary sound - something pleasurable for anyone to listen to. Forming their band five years ago, they have taken the spotlight on multiple dance floors across Vancouver with their contagious rhythm. The Ponderosas have worked with international groups and artists such as Natural Flavas, The Boom Booms and Rude City Riot who are all out to achieve the same dream: obtaining a unique sound. All their hard work has proven to be worth it as they are preparing for their full-length CD release party occurring Nov. 29 at the Fairview Pub. For some of their members, this is an incredible dream come true after being in the shadows for years on end. Kristie McCraken, lead singer and guitarist of The Ponderosas, used to sing backup vocals with one of her bandmates for international reggae artists Taj Weekes and Adowa. “When we were on tour, we were playing to really big crowds at festivals, and then we would play in small cafes where there was only a small crowd, so I think experiencing that variety helped me become more comfortable,” says McCraken, “Jeanette [King} and I started The Ponderosas even before we got into singing back up for reggae bands. Getting out of my country and playing for people who do not know me personally gave me a lot of experience and exposure to all sorts of scenarios.” Her heart and priorities have always stayed with The Ponderosas and she is excited to take charge of her own destiny.

On their way to stardom, the band is ready to be the front-runners of their shows. “We are trying to book shows and hopefully go on tour in the spring and play a bunch of festivals in the summer time,” says McCraken, “And probably take some time as well to create new music with our new band mem-

bers.” She hopes to one day create music that will become therapeutic for listeners as well. “Speaking for myself, I am in the music therapy music program at Capilano University and I hope to be able to use music in the health field, because I want to use music to help people.”

Valuable journeys can be been gained through travelling around the world, exposure to different crowds allows the broadening of insights and acknowledging different lifestyles can help musicians to express themselves even more through their music. McCraken was able to experience all of these things before she began devoting most of

her time to The Ponderosas. “Not to say I didn’t enjoy singing as a backup singer or other people’s music, but it’s time to get the fruits of our labour,” she says, “And I am very excited to share it with everyone.”

People from multiple music scenes will be appearing at The Ponderosa’s CD release party and it is bound to be a blast. Along with the band, McCraken says she wants “people to walk away from this party feeling like they got to be a part of something really cool and share something that this band is very passionate about. I really want them to feel like they are a part of a community."

With t-shirts and CDs ready in stock, merchandise from The Ponderosas are a must as a memoir for the band. Having done advertising at various universities and neighbourhoods, the demographic will range from individuals with all sorts of musical tastes and interests. "A sinfully guilty night of blissful music starring The Ponderosas: Vancouver, get ready to funk with this music, because this band practically set the stage on fire," said Nicola Storey from Discorder magazine. With a sound so pure and perfected by the combination by eight talented individuals, the Ponderosas will leave a performance to be remembered.

signalled the presence of the Emperor within his court, the trappings of the seat of power, the tools of war and the armoury, ritualistic figurines and the almighty dragon, all vibrant symbols of the ancient culture, royal lineage, ancient writing samples, consummated goods and personal collections.

Ancient couplets and royal decrees unfurl from the wall trappings inside the exhibit, including a detailed text on the cultural significance of the almighty dragon, which was an important symbol of imperial Chinese power. The Emperor was thought to be the only person who could command the beasts to return to their mountaintop lairs, and thus was allowed the high honour of embellishing his robes with images of the creature. Everyday objects, ranging from gilded bathtubs painted with fine-tipped cherry blossoms, porcelain dishes and teapots, a royal suit of armour, a whittled bow rubbed in gold-leaf, and glinting steel blade belonging to the Emperor himself, even silk embroidered tissues were part of the decadence enjoyed by the ruling family. To ensure all children sired within the walls of the palace belonged to the Emperor, servants were castrated eunuchs.

In the era of the Chinese empire, the Forbidden City was referred to as the Zijincheng, meaning “restricted walled city”. In the year

1402, the Yongle Emperor, Zhu Di, of the Ming dynasty assumed power, focusing his early efforts on moving the capital from the rural Nanjing to modern day Beijing. In 1406, construction began on the Forbidden City, which lasted nearly two decades, and remained the residence of the imperial family for nearly 500 years. In 1644, power passed over to the Quing dynasty following a political coup, where it remained for nearly three centuries, until finally in 1912, the six-year-old Puyi, the last Emperor of China, abdicated in favour of the recently founded republic.

Fully guided tours of the exhibit exist in English and Mandarin to accommodate the diverse range of viewers. “For many decades it has been my goal to provide people in the West, particularly in Canada, with richer opportunities to appreciate Chinese culture,” said Robert Ho, founder of the Ho Family Foundation and sponsor of the exhibit to the Vancouver Art Gallery, “Through this landmark exhibition featuring treasures from Beijing’s Palace Museum, our foundation hopes to provide an engaging opportunity that makes Chinese culture relevant and accessible to a global audience.”

The Forbidden City: Inside the Court of China’s Emperors is on display at the Vancouver Art Gallery from October 18 until January 11.

Secrets of china FORBIDDEN CITY UNVEILED IN VANCOUVER Christine Beyleveldt × Writer

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

An ornate tapestry of woven rice paper hangs from an awning, putting on display a fine young Chinese woman with tightly wound dark hair and rouged, pouted lips. She rests an elbow delicately on the sill of a window, while threading an ornament through her hair. Jet-black Mandarin characters frame the faded portrait of the Emperor Qianlong’s royal concubine. She is one of a countless number that lived out her lavish days in the Forbidden City that was the heart of China’s imperial court. Now, she gazes from her harem window into the eyes of tourists traversing the Vancouver Art Gallery.

The Forbidden City: Inside the Court of China’s Emperors is an exhibit financed by the Ho Family Foundation, that has since fascinated Canadians at the Royal Ontario Museum before settling for the winter at the Vancouver Art Gallery. The exhibition provides a glimpse at the long-hidden cultural history of imperial China. “It’s such a gift to Canadians to be able to see it firsthand for the first time, some of these artifacts, outside the Forbidden City,” said BC premier Christy Clark in an interview with the Globe and Mail. Many of the artifacts on display have never been seen outside of China before and Timothy Brook, scholar of

Chinese history at UBC, designed the narrative of the exhibit. It's intended to bring one through the separate aspects of the royal family’s personal life throughout nearly 500 years of Chinese history.

“We are proud to bring this magnificent collection of rare objects from Beijing’s Palace Museum to Vancouver, a city with one of the fastest-growing Asian populations in North America,” said Kathleen Bartels, director at the Vancouver Art Gallery in a written statement, “Through this exhibition and its various educational programs, we hope to deepen our visitors’ knowledge of Chinese history and culture, and to inspire new dialogues between China and Canada.”

Startling counts of nearly 200 artifacts were taken from the collection of ceremonial, diplomatic and domestic remnants at the Palace Museum in Beijing. Each set of relics denoted to particular aspects of royal life in China’s Golden era. The Forbidden City complex in Beijing was comprised of 10,000 rooms and nearly 1,000 individual buildings and home to the most lavish decoration across any Asian empire. The gallery is divided into nine exhibit halls, each showcasing different aspects of the elaborate lifestyles lead by the most powerful families in Asia. Important pieces of the exhibit include gold chimes and bells that

7

art shorts

Follow the Art Shorts team on Twitter @CAPCOURIERLIVE

ANDY RICE ART SHORTS EDITOR MANAGER.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

LES SINS FORTUNE, NOV. 12 × Carlo Javier

beats that very much capture the spirit of the dance floor – it’s free and seemingly disorganized, but at the same time it’s very clearly derived from the grooves of disco and funk. It

Bundick and his glorious afro to push the boundaries of his

doesn’t hurt when dancing is essentially a mandatory to his

sound even further. Better known as the chillwave vanguard

new project. Album highlight “Bother” proved to be a hit to

Toro y Moi, Bundick kicked off his tour as the electronic

the crowd, but it was the Nate Salman assisted “Why,” that

dance-oriented Les Sins at the Fortune Sound Club on Nov.

had the crowd truly ecstatic. The lush, soulful, R&B-esque

12. Playing his debut album, Michael, in its entirety, Bundick

jam fit perfectly to night’s dance party, even inducing a little

electrified the Fortune crowd after seamlessly taking over

sing-along. On top of his impressive set list, Bundick still man-

opening act Teen Daze’s set. “Vancouver you having a good

aged to outdo himself by playing an extended encore set, this

time? Don’t mind me I’m just going to dance up here,” he

time focusing on an entirely funk-based music. Whether he’s

bellowed before kicking off his set list with the Nas sampling

Toro y Moi or Les Sins, Bundick demonstrates his ability time

album opener “Talk About.” As Les Sins, Bundick is able to

and time again to push the boundaries of his creativity and

further expand his already avant-garde sound. He eschews

excite an audience with his melodic gifts.

× Andrew Palmquist

Les Sins might be a side-gig, but it sure does allow Chaz

his affinity for intricately crafted melodies and unstructured

buck 65

hardwell

FORTUNE, NOV. 8 × Faye Alexander

PACIFIC COLISEUM, NOV. 9 depict his signature brand of poetry. In his formal attire, Terfry

× Therese Guieb

lit up as he started off his performance with “Everybody is in the Place”. Extreme fist pumps, head banging, and grinding

never missed a beat and laid his charm on thick between It’s no easy job being a white rapper, let alone a 42-year-old

songs, adding some self-deprecating humour to his powerful

An explosion of electronic dance music beats blew everyone

to the DJ’s remix of Alesso vs. One Republic’s “If I Lose Myself

white rapper from Mount Uniacke, Nova Scotia. Richard Ter-

set list. If one thing was obvious by midway through Buck’s

away when Dutch DJ Hardwell – nee Robbert van de Corput

Tonight”, Armin Van Buuren’s “This is What It Feels Like”

fry, better known as Buck 65, appeared on stage five minutes

set, it’s that breasts are a major influence to this 40-some-

- took on the stage at Pacific Coliseum on Nov. 10. Hardwell

and Matthew Koma’s “Years”. The concert doubled as a light

prior to his scheduled set time on Nov. 8 at Fortune Sound-

thing rapper. Tracks commemorating the importance of side

was recently crowned top one DJ in the world by DJ Mag. He

show as the visuals were mind-blowing artworks unto them-

club – surely, something only a polite Canadian hip hop artist

boob and having “titties titties titties all up in your face” had

surpassed all of the well-known DJs in the world like Armin

selves. Smoke machines and confetti blasted out of the stage,

would do. Sporting a tight suit, skinny tie and asymmetrical

the crowd hyped and laughing. It was refreshing to see a

van Buuren, Tiësto, and David Guetta in less than three years.

synced to most of Hardwell’s singles from his EP series called

hipster hair-do, Buck 65 offered a unique performance fresh

rapper who can’t seem to take himself seriously despite best

The “I am Hardwell” show opened with Dutch DJ and pro-

Revealed. The highlight of the night was when Hardwell had

out of the gates, spitting raspy rhymes over the blare of rock

efforts. “I bet you didn’t think you could write a song just

ducer, Dannic who hyped up the crowd for an hour with some

a countdown to his remix, “Countdown”. He kept screaming

infused beats that spilled out from Fortune’s legendary sound

about doing laundry in your sweatpants with no underwear

of his remixes of “Dear Life” and “Wait for You”. After his

“Everybody fucking jump!” before the build-up to his remix of

system, crashing into the back wall of the bopping venue.

on, but I did,” explained Terfry following a stellar performance

set, the lights in the Coliseum came on, leaving the crowd to

Ellie Goulding’s “Fall into the Sky”. The crowd happily obliged

Pulling from his stylistically diverse catalogue, Buck 65 deliv-

of “Laundromat Boogie”, one of the highlights of the night.

excitedly anticipate for Hardwell to perform. Ten minutes later,

— the women decked out in glitter, kandi bracelets and EDM

ered a blend of tracks from serious tones in “Waiting Room”

Staff had to advise Terfry that he had five minutes left until the

they shut down once again, revealing a massive screen with

outfits composed of booty shorts and elaborate bralettes; the

and his latest single, “Love Will Fuck You Up”, to jumping into

venue would be converted to a club, so Buck 65 launched

futuristic-like visuals and a male voice started narrating what

men either shirtless or wearing their best beater. One thing’s

a 30-second ditty solely about the best bits of Poland. Buck

into “Super Pretty Naughty” and with that the night ended

the audience is about to see. The arena was unrecognizable

for sure, you don’t need to be high to enjoy I am Hardwell be-

65 uses his entire body and stage to tell his stories. His hands

on a major high note.

as it was transformed into a big dance floor with the entire

cause he will poison your mind with a plethora of epic beats.

audience up on their feet as they showed their moves to the

Many in the crowd may have not gotten that memo though.

were forever in motion, voguing complimentary gestures to

music. As soon as Hardwell appeared on stage, his turntable

Harpoonist + The Axe Murderer COMMODORE, NOV. 9

lil b

× Gabriel Scorgie

FORTUNE, NOV. 11

added two amazing backup singers and a keyboard player

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

for their live shows, adding a drummer to free up Rogers on

8

× Carlo Javier

If the Arctic Monkeys have taught us anything, it’s that people

stage hardly seems unreasonable. Due to the inactivity on

still love the blues. So it’s no surprise that when the local

stage the majority of the crowd resorted to merely bobbing

blues duo, The Harpoonist and The Axe Murderer, played

their heads, collectively looking like the guy at the party who

For the sake of being politically incorrect, Remembrance Day

“Girl When I Want You,” to “Woo Woo Swag,” Lil B made sure

the Commodore Ballroom on Nov. 9, the place was nearly

wants to ask the girl to dance, but doesn’t know what to say.

2014 will forever be remembered as the night The BasedGod

his die hard fans went home happy, even promising to play

sold out. From their first song, “Roll with the Punches”, the

The death sentence for the show was when the two backup

touched down in Vancouver. “He’s basically the Nicolas Cage

“only the hits.” Die hard fans might even be an understate-

crowd was excited and ready to dance. The distorted blues

singers and the keyboard player went off stage, leaving just

of rap” was the most profound quip I overheard during Lil B’s

ment. Some were visibly upset as The BasedGod seemingly

riffs combined with a kick drum and some old fashioned

Hall and Rogers sitting on their stools for 15 minutes. The

monumental show at the Fortune Sound Club. Born Brandon

took his time before finally hitting the stage, while others joked

harmonica playing transformed the Commodore into a 50s

songs became nearly indistinguishable. Everyone knew the

McCartney, Lil B, also known as The BasedGod, has been the

that he might have had trouble selecting a set list out of his

blues bar, and right when the show looked ready to take off, it

harmonica was coming between verses, everyone knew the

most polarizing figure in hip-hop outside of Kanye West. Some

alleged 3,000-song discography. Known for his willingness to

didn’t. Something was missing, and that something was stage

kick drum was going to keep playing its 4/4 rhythm and ev-

have denounced Lil B as the “wackest rapper in the game,”

interact with his fans via social media, The BasedGod didn’t

presence. Shawn “The Harpoonist” Hall and Matthew “The

eryone was bored. Overall, the duo is better than their show

as the clown prince of the emerging group of tragic weirdo

disappoint in person either, snapping selfies with fans, and

Axe Murderer” Rogers spent nearly the entire show sitting

suggests. Their newest record, A Real Fine Mess is a great

rappers whose success seems to troll the very principles of

even bringing some – just the girls – up on the stage towards

on their stools. Granted, Rogers was responsible for playing

album, but until they figure out how to keep an audience’s

artistry. Others have commended him as a creative innovator,

the end of the concert. He even followed the Courier on Twit-

the kick drum as well as the guitar, but since they’ve already

attention they will struggle to capture large audiences.

a boundless source of positivity, and even as a lyrical talent.

ter, which was pretty much the best thing to happen to us

Noted emcee Lupe Fiasco has gone on record for his support

since we began publishing in 1968.

I’m Gay. Polarizing, odd, whatever it is, one thing for certain is that Lil B puts on an energetic show. Playing popular hits from

of The BasedGod, particularly his controversially titled album,

flashdance QUEEN ELIZABETH THEATRE, NOV. 11 × Therese Guieb

Flashdance was impeccably detailed as the stage quickly and

and provocative numbers. Although the musical adaptation

convincingly transformed into the different sets of the ballet

featured several new songs by Robbie Roth and Robert Cary,

The 1983 Paramount film Flashdance came alive on Queen

school, a steel mining area, a strip club with poles and a

none reached the same catchiness as the Academy Award-

Elizabeth Theatre’s stage on Nov. 11. The musical version

separated elevated stage. The cast was mostly believable as

winning soundtracks of the original film — “Flashdance (What

drew many similarities to the movie, and fans would have

well. Karli Dinardo, who played Alex Owens, turned out to

a Feeling),” “I Love Rock N’Roll,” ”Gloria,” “Manhunt” and

recognized the original plot of the film where the story of

be a better dancer and actress than vocalist. Her steel mill

“Maniac”. Fans might have also been disappointed with the

Alex Owens is told. Working as a welder by day and an ex-

boss and later boyfriend, Adam Rennie, played Nick Hurley,

lack of the famous movie scene where Alex is drenched in

otic dancer by night, she strives to achieve her dream of

was an exceptional tenor that stole the hearts of the audi-

water while dancing to “Maniac”. Nevertheless, Flashdance

becoming a student at the Shipley ballet school. Flashdance

ence. Brianna-Marie Bell and Danielle Marie Gonzalez, as

contained an abundance of talented singers, dancers and

is primarily set in a morose steel mill factory called Hurley

Alex’s best friends Kiki and Tess respectively, did a remark-

noteworthy numbers that kept the audience engaged and

in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but the theatrical production of

able job and stole the crowd’s attention with their comedic

exclaiming “What a feeling!” all the way back to their cars.

Calendar Mo 17

Tu

18

We 19

Th

20

Fr

21

22

Su

23

Wine, Cheese and Chocolate Tasting CSU Library Lounge 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm $ - sensual taste buds

M 17

F

FKA Twigs Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $25

capilanocourier.com

@capilanocourier

M 17

Foreskin for Her The Art of Loving 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm $10

Generationals M 17

Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $15

M 17

Gotta say, I was rather impressed at the CSU calendar this week. It’s packed with events and a lot of them are rather cool. And what better way to release some exam stress than to double fist some chocolate and cheese into your mouth.

And stay tuned, this week the CSU is putting on poetry readings, dance classes and other events where I’m sure there is free food. #stoked

Did you hear that this girl is Robert Pattinson’s – ex-vampire heartthrob – new girlfriend? After the long and drawn out break-up with Kristen Stewart, he picked someone with all the personality. This girl’s wardrobe makes it look like a crayon box barfed on her. Anyway, she’s apparently good at music, and he might be there. Check it out!

I’ve cleared my schedule to go to all Art of Loving seminars This one is all about foreskin for women or something like that? To be honest, I’m slightly confused as to why I would need to know about foreskin. It seems like a dude problem, as to whether his little best friend has a sweater, turtleneck or vneck. But I guess this seminar will tell me what I need to know.

The Generationals are made up of Ted Joyner and Grant Widmer, and they’re from New Orleans.

They’re aptly named as they were recording their first album during the 2008 Presidential Elections, and noticed that every newscast was commenting that all the issues were ‘generational issues’. What even is that? An issue that you can only understand if you like the Generational? I’m going to go and find out. You should too.

Makana

Fleetwood Mac

George Takei

Twin Peaks

BlueShore Centre 8 pm to 10:30 pm $ 32

T 18

Rogers Arena 7 pm $69.50 +

T 18

Queen Elizabeth Theatre 8 pm $25 to $65

T 18

Electric Owl 8 pm $10

T 18

Makana is a Hawaiian musician known for being a master at the slack-key guitar. He’s won awards for his talents, and he is bringing the show to the BlueShore Centre on campus. If your stressed with school projects and such, go to this, as chill Hawaiian music is sure to soothe something and at least make you feel like you got to go to Hawaii for one night.

As I may have mentioned in nearly every issue, News Editor Therese has an amazing voice and is a rockstar at karaoke. Seriously, I saw her sing Stevie Nicks once, and every guy in the bar started talking to me more simply because I was sitting at her table. So she really wants to see Fleetwood Mac, but doesn’t have a ticket. Here’s my case as to why you should take her: she’s awesome, a knockout, smart and will sing the songs better than Stevie Nicks can…

Everyone’s favourite Facebook user coming to Vancouver for a talk. It’s a wonder what he will actually talk about, but maybe he will spill the secret as to where he finds all of the best things on the Internet.

Also, apparently he has quite the beef with his former Star Trek co-star William Shatner, so maybe he’ll dish the gossip on that.

I think I have a giant crush on the States. This garage-rock band is from Chicago, and as soon as I read that, I got a jealous and thought, “But I want to be from Chicago.” If I even get the chance to move to my promised land, I’m going to petition to have their welcome sign change to read: “Chicago, home to Deep Dish Pizza, Second City, and Leah”.

They’ll totally go for that idea.

Mexican Pinatas

Lights

Flying Lotus

How to Have a Great Orgasm

CSU Library Lounge 12:30 pm to 1 pm $ - banging things

W 19

Vogue Theatre 7:30 pm $32.50

W 19

Commodore Ballroom 8 pm $30

W 19

The Art of Loving 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm $25

W 19

Told you the CSU has some cool events this week.

They have piñatas that you can bang, which is the perfect combination of releasing stress and getting rewarded with candy while doing so. Piñatas were so much fun at childhood birthday parties. When did we get to old for them? Prove that we’re not and be at the Library Lounge at 12:30, ready for your sugar high.

One of Canada’s most acclaimed indie artists is playing at the Vogue tonight, and it should be a pretty good time. The Internet told me how her husband proposed, and it’s so cute that it belongs in a Katherine Heigl movie. Apparently, he made a bunch of fortune cookies, and one of them had “Will you marry me in it?” Cue to me eating buckets of cookies and wondering why no guy has done anything that romantic.

This guy’s real name is Steven Ellison and I’m wondering how he came to the stage name of “Flying Lotus”. I mean, that’s a long way from regular old Steven. Also, why do all of these recording artists need to change their names? Are their normal names not creative enough to be an artist? I wonder what their mothers think of that. But if you’re into his music, then you should go – obviously.

It’s a busy week. Between the events at the CSU and the seminars at the Art of Loving, I hardly am going to have the time to take it all in. This event sounds like an important one, as having an orgasm is a skill that should be mastered. I also think that faking them should be an Olympic sport, but that’s an issue I will take up with the Olympic committee.

Poems by George Bowering

Black Hen Travelling Roadshow Revue

The Flatliners

Old Man Canyon

Electric Owl 8 pm $33

Rickshaw Theatre 7:30 pm $17.50

CSU Library Lounge 11:30 am to 1 pm $ - free

Th 20

Th 20

Th 20

Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $12

Th 20

Go from banging piñatas one day to getting cultured the next. The Capilano Review is hosting a poetry reading of works by George Bowering and others. Get there early and grab one of the comfy chairs. Maybe invite a date and put your arm around them, and then just enjoy being read to like your parents used to do. It sounds rather lovely to me.

This travelling road show is hitting the Electric Owl for one night before moving onto Victoria and beyond. Featuring the music of blues and roots artists Jim Byrnes, Steve Dawson and Big Dave McLean. It also has a CapU connection, as the website to go to for more information is Capilanou.ca. Interesting.

This punk rock band is likely the best thing to ever come out of Brampton, Ontario. I have a friend who is really into punk music and adores these guys. We often go to shows and try to replicate the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Of course, I’m always the funny and quirky Dee. So I will likely be here, dressed as a bird, and accompanied by four men who won’t stop mocking me.

Old Man Canyon is a local folk artist, with wholesome songs and calming melodies. Think a more up-tempo Bon Iver, one that doesn’t put you to sleep. From what I can tell, his real name is Jett Place, but even that sounds fake. Anyways, he’s playing his wholesome music at the Biltmore and it sounds like it will be a lovely evening, filled with cheap beers, hipster dudes and good tunes.

Get into it.

Blues Basketball Games

Belly Dancing

Motley Crue

Nick Carter / Jordan Knight

CSU Sportsplex 6 pm $ - school spirit

F 21

CSU Library Lounge 11:30 am to 1 pm $ - free

F 21

Rogers Arena 7 pm $25

F 21

Vogue Theatre 7 pm $39.50

F 21

The Blues basketball season opens with home games against Langara College. It’s a double header, with the women playing at 6, before the guys face off at 8 pm. Go support our teams and show some school spirit. Also, rumour has it that Carlo will be there, taking photos and reporting on it for the Courier. Here’s your chance to meet the elusive single dude and bonafide Courier mascot.

Another event at the CSU that makes this week interesting. I’m not entirely sure if they giving belly dancing lessons or featuring professional belly dancers. Maybe it’s a combination of the two, and you can learn some new dance moves before your afternoon class. The Courier staff will be working all day long, but maybe I will take them on a little field trip to shake it all off, like a Taylor Swift music video.

When I was a young and darling child, I thought that the Motely Crue song “Girls” was actually about squirrels, and I would belt out the chorus at the top of my little lungs, “Squirrels, squirrels, squirrels.” My brother told me that I ruined Motely Crue for him forever. I don’t think that’s an inherently bad thing.

Yes, it’s the day I’ve been looking forward to all year.

It’s the Nick / Knight tour, where two members from opposing 90s boy bands join forces only to blow my mind. I know this is nothing more than a shitty publicity ploy to pull on the heart strings of girls who used to have crushes on these guys, but it’s working.

Oh boy, is it ever working…

Fond of Tigers

Killarney Holiday Craft Fair

Mudhoney

Dirty Loops

Biltmore Cabaret 8 pm $12

S 22

Killarney Community Centre 10 am to 3 pm $ - free

S 22

Rickshaw Theatre 8 pm $25

S 22

Venue 7 pm $20

S 22

This is like Vancouver’s version of Broken Social Scene – a seven-piece post-rock band. They’re Juno award winners too! And of course, I’m wondering how they got their names. It’s not that I’m not fond of tigers, but its just how do you get so into tigers that you name your band after your affection for them? Worth researching — it always is.

It’s Christmas time in the city! Or so goes the song. And therefore, along with the corny Coca Cola commercials and excess use of Christmas lights is the increase in craft fairs, with artisans trying to sell their unique knick-knacks. But if you do have to get presents for everyone (including me) it’s better to support local independent artists than Wal-Mart or any of their counterparts. Can I get a “what what” to that?

This band is older than half of the students at Capilano. It formed in 1988, making them a quarter century old. The grunge band hails from Seattle, which means they were part of the grunge movement of the early 90s. Maybe they even knew Kurt Cobain and everything. I have a crush on the golden era of grunge!

This is music, and not, as I originally thought, about getting mud in your Fruit Loops. It’s a pop trio band from Sweden. To do a little research, I YouTubed one of their songs while writing this Calendar, and my head hasn’t stopped bopping since it started. I kind of like it. And it’s only $20 to see them perform songs from their new album Loopified.

Blim Market

Har Mar Superstar + Pizza Underground

Trentemoller

Canucks vs. Blackhawks

Rickshaw Theatre 8 pm $17.50

Venue 8 pm $25

Heritage Hall 12 pm to 6 pm $ - free admission

Su 23

Blim Market is a monthly occasion that takes place at the Heritage Hall, which is great for me because it’s right across the street from my house!

This month, the market will feature hot food from Japanese cook, Open Sesame, raffle draws, and handmade goods, including pottery and sweets from 48 vendors. They also have a hashtag, which all cool people do. #BlimMarket. #SaveLilSchei

Su 23

Who doesn’t want to go to this simply for the name alone? Not only do I love Har Mar Superstar, I also love pizza and comedy. Pizza Underground is a comedy rock group from New York City, where the pizza is excellent, the comedy is superb, and everyone is a superstar. Yes, I am going to this and yes, I will be the one eating greasy pizza that I snuck in. Want to impress me? Sneak me in another piece!

Su 23

Trentemoller is a Danish electronic music producer with quite the impressive resume. I discovered him because there is a series of mixes called “Late Night Tales”. Each album features a different artist’s playlist of favourite music, and he has one that is quite a good mix. But if you’re interested in Late Night Tales, start with the one by the Flaming Lips. Hands down my favourite. Also, check this guy out.

Rogers Arena 6:30 pm $87.75 - $326.75

Su 23

Nope, that is not a typo. Tickets to this game can cost over $300. Do you want to know what also costs over $300 – my monthly grocery bill.

However, if you do want to fork over money for a game, this one could be pretty entertaining, as the Canucks and the Blackhawks have a thick rivalry.

My favourite part of the 2011 playoffs is how the Blackhawk fans would taunt Loungo to the point where he was useless. Ah, the memories.

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

Sa

@capilanocourier

9

FEATURES

There are at least 2.3 billion pages scattered across the World Wide Web. These sites can be accessed through conventional search engines such as Google, Bing, or Yahoo!

However, this part of the Web – the visible, easily-attained content represents only a fraction of the Web’s colossal entirety. The Surface Web, as it’s come to be known, is just the tip of the iceberg, beneath is a mysterious, exponentially larger, and increasingly expanding area known as the Deep Web.

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

A COMMON MISCONCEPTION

10

In order to understand the nuances of the Deep Web, the realities of what it actually is must be made clear. Throughout the Web, there is a common misunderstanding that notorious pages such as the Silk Road, the Hidden Wiki, and other online hubs for nefarious activity are parts of the Deep Web – this is simply not the case.

Lighthouse Labs is Vancouver’s premier development boot camp. For senior instructor Don Burks, the confusion may have stemmed from the media’s tendency to blur the lines and from the ominous effect the Deep Web conveys. In reality, the Deep Web simply represents the part of the Web that can no longer be accessed by conventional search engines such as Google. This includes material found in the Journal Storage (JSTOR), and any other articles that are no longer being indexed, “In most cases, they’re accessing an index of data that is not accessible to Google, and it’s still data they’re accessing over the Internet, but it’s not something they can Google and get the link to,” explains Burks.

As its name suggests, the Web is very much like that of a spider’s. By using Web Crawlers, search engines are able to scour every page from a website and index keywords that are then used for further search operations. However, conventional search engines are only built to enter static pages and are ill equipped to find dynamic web pages.

Internet users can utilize databases to find content that Google won’t come across in its search – by placing a direct query, a database is able to calculate and analyze a search input and find the most relevant pages - pages that are not accessible from the surface.

Beneath the level of the Deep Web, is the entirely separate space in which access is much more complicated. Just like the ocean, the deeper the dive, the darker it gets.

THE MIGHTY TOR +THE DARK WEB The Dark Web, or the Dark Net, is the portion of the Web that has often been associated with heinous criminal activity, political dissidents, and anonymity. This is where pages like Silk Road – before it’s seizure by the FBI – were found.

Axel Sauvé is a first year student at Capilano University’s International Business Program.

Originating from Brazil, Sauvé spent two years

FAYE ALEXANDER FEATURES EDITOR

working as a data analyst for Choice Digital Intelligence, a company focused on political analysis by sending graphic interpretations of politicians’ social media feeds. Sauvé’s work entailed understanding of the complexities and nuances of the Internet and it’s various layers. “To access the Dark Web, you have to do either a proxy, or a program that runs a lot of proxies such as Tor,” Sauvé says.

The Onion Router, more commonly known as Tor, is the primary software used to access the Dark Web. By using the “.onion” host suffix, users of Tor are able to mask their Internet Protocol (IP) addresses and surf the Web anonymously, “When you connect through Tor, it’s masking your IP address and it’s working like a proxy Domain Name System service,” explains Burks, “Because that layer is in place between you and the regular DNS, that can be detected by other servers and you can open up a whole other, effectively a whole other Internet that can only be accessed once you are connecting through Tor.” Developed in the mid-90s by the United States Naval Research Laboratory, Tor was originally meant for the encryption of communications between the American military. However, the US Navy had to open up and release Tor to the public, because since they were the only ones using this anonymity machine, then it beat the purpose of being anonymous.

Similar to an onion, Tor works by wrapping a message, or data, with multiple layers of encryption. These layers are then peeled, or “routed” at every successive, and random, nodes, until finally the message is delivered to the recipient, or the user gets to a destination. Tor also grants its users with resistance to censorship. Its newfound purpose is to prevent government agencies, corporations or anyone else from tracking the user’s Internet activity and location. Apart from allowing Web surfers the ability to venture into the Dark Web and surf the Internet with complete anonymity, Tor is most famous for giving whistleblower Edward Snowden a secure medium of communication with the Washington Post and the Guardian.

“It’s like a network protocol,” says David Baldwynn, a third year Computer Engineering student at UBC, “Basically how Tor works is it encrypts and funnels data through the Internet.

It routs data through entry and access nodes.”

Baldwynn is also the president and director of Corporate Relations for Startup Storm, one of the leading Hacker clubs at UBC. Startup Storm is responsible for hosting hack nights, and hackathons across Western Canada. “[Tor] is like pipes on top of the Internet, which helps make you anonymous because your traffic is coming in and out of different sources,” he adds. Tor has been lauded for its developments in technology and encryption, even it’s greatest adversary – the National Security Agency (NSA) has acknowledged Tor as “the king of high-secure, low-latency anonymity.”

Some of the well-known parts of the Dark Web include the now-seized Silk Road, an online black market that became a notorious hub for selling a host of illegal drugs. Silk Road also made a name for the cryptocurrency, Bitcoin, which unlike a credit card leaves little to no trace of the par-

S P E C I A L F E AT U R E S @ C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

ticipants’ transaction. Contrary to popular belief, Silk Road’s terms of services disallowed the sale of heinous items such as child pornography, stolen credit cards, and assassinations – all of which are otherwise found in other sectors of the Dark Web. Another noted page is The Hidden Wiki, a Wikipedia-like site that blocks censorship, thus making it a source for services such as money laundering, bomb making and contract killings.

The Hidden Wiki is also offers links to services that deal with child abuse and child pornography.

A HUB FOR CRIME OR A SAFE HAVEN ?

“In the Dark Web, there’s nobody watching you, so obviously there’s space for criminals, drugs and there’s a lot of pedophilia,” explains Sauvé, “On the other hand, you have this space on the Web that is not regulated, so you have freedom, you have the power to use your creativity to support your ideological ideas without anyone regulating you, without big companies choosing what should be promoted, so the beauty of the Dark Web is the pure freedom.”

The freedom and security that the Tor and the Dark Web grants has firmly planted both in a polarizing position. Both have been used by whistleblowers and journalists to spoil and counter many clandestine activities that governments are prone to do, and yet at the same time, the Dark Web has been hailed as a cyberspace haven for political dissidents, terrorists,and contract killers. Regardless of use, the Dark Web represents a quality that the Internet was supposed to inherently provide: freedom.

Open Media’s stance against surveillance is directly focused on government threats to online privacy.

“I think we’ve seen in large part to what Edward Snowden has revealed that [sic] including Canada are monitoring law abiding citizens on a massive scale,” says Communications Manager David Christopher, “This is something that’s hugely concerning, and we’re also putting a lot of effort in because this is government spying, it’s possible to put a stop to this with the right legal safeguards.”

One of the current hot topics in the United States is the case of Net Neutrality.

It’s the idea that all data on the Internet be treated equally, that the individual Internet users should have the power to decide what they read, watch, and access online, and that decision should not be made for them by giant telecom conglomerates. Though the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) counts as an American agency, the repercussions of every development in the case of Net Neutrality can have a dramatic impact

to Internet access in Canada, and the rest of the world.

According to Christopher, the issue affects Canadians in two ways. One, many of the most popular websites and services in Canada are based in the US. Due to the way in which the Internet backbone is set up, much of Canada’s Internet passage goes through the US. The second reason is derived from the desires of the massive telecom corporations to control

the system of the Internet streaming. Currently, the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) are considering a case on whether Bell should be allowed to restrict content that they don’t own on their network. “Bell has been caught pretty much red handed, discriminating against content not owned by Bell. They are offering their mobile subscribers unlimited access to Bell’s content like CTV, while charging them against their data cap for accessing content that’s not owned by them,” Christopher says.

The NSA’s surveillance, the threats to Net Neutrality, and the desire for anonymity and privacy, all factor in to the rise in popularity of the Dark Web and the Tor Project.

“There’s a tremendous amount

of creativity going on in there, and there’s a lot of authors, artists, things like that, who are only making their content available through the Dark Web. Some of that is for reasons of politics. Some of that is for reasons of fear. Some of it is for reasons of, quite simply, trying to be cool,” says Burks.

THE NEW WILD WEST During the United Nations General Assembly in May 2011, the UN passed a groundbreaking bill that declared Internet access a human right, citing it as an essential factor for people to fulfill their other basic rights to free speech and freedom of expression.

“It’s an incredibly beneficial invention that has enormous potential, and I think of the longer term, to move us as a country, and as a planet

toward a more collaborative and participatory society,” says Christopher.

With the Internet already being a major aspect of society, projecting its growth and further integration may be a challenge. For Burks, the next step for the Internet just might be a movement towards free and open public Wi-Fi. "I think that when we reach that point, you’re going to see a change in people’s behaviour on the Internet,” says Burks, “When we have free and open Wi-Fi everywhere, people’s habits are going to change again, the way they did when smartphones started to be introduced. That produced an explosion of mobile usage, which then telecom providers realized that they can capitalize on and charge people for the bandwidth.

They’ve made a lot of money and I don't blame them - it’s a good business decision.”

In the theory of mass communications, one of the media’s roles is to act as the government’s watchdog — it is to offer a third party perspective that can stand its ground and keep the people who are in power accountable for their decisions. Yet, as evidenced by the fears of breaking Net Neutrality, it no longer seems that the media will be able to fulfill it’s theoretical role as a watchdog. The Internet, with its capacity to nullify traditional producer and audience relations, maybe stands as the most important bastion of equality between a civilization and a government. The use of the Dark Web and software like Tor, may seem like an act of defiance and dissidence, but it can also be for the purpose of maintaining the right to freedom of speech and expression. “The whole point of a lot the encryption we see is because we can’t always trust the government,” says Baldwynn.

Without Tor, Edward Snowden’s revelations about NSA surveillance would not have happened. Without the Dark Web, political dissidents from China, Iran, Syria, and many other countries would not have a place to speak out against their respective governments. Runa

ON the Cover

CristiAN Fowlie Cristian Fowlie is a Jack of All Trades creative, with dreams of owning a sphynx cat and working for Kanye West. See his work at Cristianfowlie.tumblr.com

Sandvik, a privacy and security researcher told NPR that Tor users from Iran went from 7,000 in 2010, to 40,000 in 2012, and that Tor prominence in Syria rose from 600 to 15,000 in a span of just two years.

For Christopher, the Dark Web, Tor and the Internet as a whole, are tools not only meant for networking and interconnectedness. It is the tool that can bring people together into a more participatory society and a more participatory democracy. “I think the potential of the Internet for caring, collaboration, for free speech, for democratic dialogue and debate is massive. We’ve only really begun to scratch the surface of that potential, and it has a huge potential for humanity to move us into a better place.”

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

11

To help decipher this winter's stylish trends, the Courier

COOL AND CASUAL Inspired by: Caitlin Beaudin Favourite Spots to Shop: Aritzia, The Loft and Plenty Winter Must-Have Accessory: toque

Liemena says:

can probably opt for a waxed cotton parka, but even a peacoat just to polish the look a little bit.

BUSINESS CHIC Inspired by: Fay Wagman Favourite Spot to Shop: Aritzia Winter Must-Have Accessory: scarves

Liemena says: The black knit dress is always a

er and scarf. She can easily throw on a leather

with a pair of black leather boots instead of the red rubber boots even for day-to-day occasions.

MAKEUP

CLOTHES “The physical and practical application of -

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

-

12

-

you want to wear jewel tones which always • Solid peacoat -

-

your skin hydrated, lip conditioner and false lashes for holiday parties and a nice, bold

Favourite Spot to Shop: Winners

Liemena says:

of beeswax chukka!

Inspired by: Elijah Wood Snakeskin Favourite Spots to Shop: thrift stores -

-

Liemena says

cozy in the fur vest and the cape.

texture. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It looks cute under those toques and blondes are also a super popular choice as (keeps hair nourished and shiny, without pick one it would be all the loud colours that around for those dirty hair days, but believe -

-

-

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

-

13

opinions

GABRIEL SCORGIE OPINIONS EDITOR

OPINIONS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

little big planet SUZUKI TRAVELS COUNTRY TO REFORM CONSTITUTION Kevin Kapenda × Writer Long-time Green activist and BC resident, David Suzuki, is currently traveling the country to promote environmental issues in what he calls the ‘Blue Dot Tour.’ The Suzuki Foundation says that the tour’s purpose is to raise awareness about environmental issues and to gain citizen support to have those policies put in our constitution and guaranteed as rights. Some of the issues being discussed on the tour include the right to fresh air, clean water, healthy food and “a say in the decisions that affect us.” Joining Suzuki on the road is a roster of diverse artists who share his devotion to the environment, including famed spoken word artist, Shane Koyczan. Musicians such as Neil Young, Feist and the Barenaked Ladies will perform at select ‘Blue Dot’ stops, while world renowned author and environmental activist, Margaret Atwood, will also lend her time to the tour.

Although support for the tour has been successful, the real question is whether or not the excitement surrounding the cross-country stops will be able to talk our provincial and federal governments into amending our constitution.

While Suzuki’s efforts may be valiant, they are likely just as hopeless. To successfully add any of his policies to the Canadian Constitution, he would technically need to hold a constitutional

conference and get the majority of the provinces, equaling 60 per cent or more of Canada’s population, to adopt his suggestions. Getting some of the more progressive provinces to do so, like PEI and Ontario, shouldn’t be too difficult, but getting Canada’s three western provinces and oil rich Newfoundland to sign the amendment might be a little more challenging. Though it’s easy for Suzuki to find like-minded people who agree with him all over the country, the issue with Western Canada is that Suzuki’s environmental coalition has mainly been embraced by progressives, who are a political minority in libertarian BC, Alberta and Saskatchewan. Adding oil rich Newfoundland to the list only compounds the challenges Suzuki will face in amending our Constitution anytime soon.

Suzuki and his fellow activists have already accomplished quite a bit in this country in terms of bringing awareness about fracking and other environmental issues. With that said, it’s unclear whether or not his popularity will be enough to fend off political opposition and get his policies in the Charter. In 2013, BC re-elected a pro-energy government. Energy remains a big part of the Alberta and Saskatchewan governments’ plans, and recent polls suggest that Manitoba’s NDP government is about to be defeated by Conservatives.

Moreover, there’s a good chance Harper’s Conservatives will be re-elected next year, meaning Suzuki would undoubtedly face resistance from

right-wing provincial governments and the federal government to amend our constitution.

Though the short-term chances of adding environmental rights to our Charter appear bleak, the popularity of the ‘Blue Dot Tour’ among young Canadians give hope that one day Suzuki’s ambitions could be fulfilled, whether the 78-year-old is leading the charge or not. Suzuki has been very impressed by the support young people have given to his tour. “You know, it's never too late. And I think the younger ones are getting it. They know this is about their entire future and the kind of world they're going to grow up in. So we've got a lot of young people very, very active”, said Suzuki in an interview with the CBC on Oct. 26.

While there isn’t much data on the political views of young people, there is a general consensus among observers that the 18 to 40 demographic usually vote progressive or center to centre-left.

After all, post 2013 BC election polls aggregated

by Threehundredeight.com showed that the NDP won roughly 60 per cent of the 18-35 vote. If Suzuki’s tour can continue to capture the attention of young Canadians, we might one day have a Charter that guarantees environmental rights like fresh air, clean water or healthy food.

For Suzuki, any short term aspirations of getting fresh air and clean water in our constitution are all but dead due to the country’s current center-right political wave. But like any other movement, en-

× Olliemoonsta vironmental activism will need time to implement change. Young people in urban areas like Metro Vancouver and Vancouver Island are embracing his environmental policies, because they are disinterested in oil and traditional forms of energy that are drilled in the BC Interior and outer regions.

The ‘Blue Dot Tour’ might ultimately succeed in reforming our constitution because it is gaining recognition from students and youth who will be the taxpayers, voters and decision-makers of tomorrow. The challenge is whether or not Suzuki, or even myself, will be around to see it happen.

john oliver's garden WHY WE NEED HIS OPINIONS TO INFORM OURS Leah Scheitel

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

× Editor-in-Chief

14

Giving a primetime slot to a Brit wherein he mocks everything about American culture seems like a stupid strategy for a successful show, especially when trying to appeal to an American market. However, that’s exactly what HBO did with Last Week Tonight, starring British comedian John Oliver. Critics are hailing Oliver and the show for their journalistic integrity and the well-thought out points that he makes every Sunday night. Oliver is a foreigner commenting on North American issues, proving that sometimes it’s a visitor at the house that best notices the cracks in the ceiling.

Oliver was a working comedian in Britain in the early 2000s when he got a call from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, offering him a position as Senior British Correspondent on the satirical news show. He flew to New York and was on the air the next day. After seven years on The Daily Show, he took over as the show’s anchor in the summer of 2013 while Stewart was off filming his documentary, Rosewater. This was the perfect testing ground for Oliver, as it allowed him to get comfortable behind the fake news desk. And viewers liked seeing him there.

“But even Mr. Colbert has taken a backseat this month to the amazing John Oliver, who has taken over as host of The Daily Show while Mr. Stewart is out filming his directorial debut,” wrote Drew Grant for the New York Observer, “Though he’s been subbing for less than a month (three weeks, to be exact), Mr. Oliver’s been able to hold the ratings relatively steady (and even slightly improved, some nights). More importantly, he’s a breath of fresh air for Comedy Central’s political satire, which, along with The

× Lucy Webber Onion, has become America’s favorite way to actually consume the news.” Drew said it perfectly in the last line of that paragraph. Satire has become America’s favourite way to consume news, as it rightfully should be. Comedy and humour, when done correctly, can relay more information than the average newscast. In 2008, when Sarah Palin was a hot topic, people were better able to understand her through Tina Fey’s impression of her on SNL than any other news clip or profile around. And that satirical wit is what Oliver has mastered.

After his time as Jon Stewart’s replacement, Oliver was in demand. There were rumours of him being Craig Ferguson’s replacement on CBS’s The Late Late Show, or even taking over for Stewart at The Daily Show. Yet, it was HBO who snapped up this talent, giving him a platform to raise issues on everything from beauty pageants to State elections, Scottish Independence, and most recently, the lottery markets.

His show reaches an average of a million viewers through HBO, but with his YouTube and social media channels, that number climbs into

the multimillions by the middle of the week, proving that people have an appetite for Oliver.

His mainstream success is surprising, as his show is following a similar formula to other comics and liberal news critics like Stephen Colbert, Rachel Maddow, Bill Maher and his former boss, Jon Stewart. What sets Oliver apart from his cohorts is that HBO has given him full creative freedom and the ability to mock and criticize corporations, governments and industries. As executive producer, he is invested in every story that airs, and it’s evident.

In each broadcast, Oliver is passionate about every topic that he is taking on. He tackles the issues with the same gusto that a giddy schoolboy has when he attempts to prank his teacher.

Oliver is a breath of fresh air in the satire community because he isn’t jaded yet. Current news is depressing. When your job is to look at bleak stories of corrupt governments, idiotic traditions and left-wing mouthpieces like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly to try and make light out of them, after a while, it would start to weigh you down. Jon Stewart is proof of this - while his show is still important and poignant, his face looks a little sadder with every episode. And Colbert is likely thankful that he only has a handful of episodes left before he takes over for David Letterman. Oliver is new, educated and ambitious. His ability to criticize American culture isn’t hindered by his British accent, and the weight of the depressing news hasn’t gotten to him yet. It’s Oliver’s time to showcase the stupidity of our culture. It’s his garden, and we should enjoy the smell of his roses while they are still fresh.

opinions

a swift departure WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER

that they all realize their worth and ask for it”, said Swift in an interview for Gawker. As an artist who is worth $195.8 million, Swift is one of the most successful singers in the entertainment industry. By choosing to take a stand against Spotify, Swift is proving to the world, and her fans that she doesn’t need to be flashy with her music. She has earned the right to promote herself however she wants, and if she feels that Spotify isn’t right for her, then so be it.

Keara Farnan × Writer

Tunes for Tears. Carefully selected by our heartbroken staff: "You Oughta Know" - Alanis Morissette "Hold My Liquor" - Kayne West "Bitch Dont Kill My Vibe" - Kendrick Lamar × Taylor Lee

After making a career out of writing songs about break ups, Taylor Swift has left another trail of broken hearts behind, reducing them to writing desperate letters begging for her to come back. This time however, it isn’t a personal relationship that Swift has severed ties with, it’s a business one. In a recent article for Time, Victor Luckerston stated that Taylor Swift has decided to remove her music from the online streaming website Spotify. Swift mentioned that the Wall Street Journal played a part in her choosing to remove her music from Spotify when they reported that artists are being paid pennies for their album streams. This event caused many to question whether or not she is making a wise decision. As a singer, Swift is entitled to place her music on any website or streaming network that she pleases; it's not up to a Spotify to tell her what to do with her albums.

With the launch of her brand new album 1989 rising to the top of the charts on iTunes, Swift has no shortage of money and plenty of popularity to go around. Although Swift’s new album has proven to be a huge success within weeks of its release, the percentage of albums being purchased is still on the decline. Swift has been in the entertainment industry since she was 16 and feels as though streaming websites are at least partially to blame for the lack of music being purchased. Many people who admire Swift feel as though she is being selfish by choosing to remove her music from Spotify, yet posting her music on the streaming site may not be beneficial to her career if she is noticing a decline in her album sales. Instead of trying to avoid albums and resort to online streaming websites, artists should join together and try to

come up with ways to market their albums and increase the purchasing rates one-by-one. In the past, Swift has walked away from a record company which did not let her produce her own songs. This was a very risky move on Swift’s part considering it left her music career on the line for quite a while after just one successful hit.

The music industry grows increasingly competitive. There isn’t a day where Swift isn’t competing with other artists and entertainers for people’s hard earned money. Swift has always been her own type of person because she

doesn’t choose to be like any other artists in the business industry other than herself. Although there is evidence that Spotify can help promote an artist’s music, individuals should listen to Swift and try and see things from her point of view. She isn’t trying to cause a scene by stating that she does not feel as though Spotify would be beneficial towards her career. She is simply trying to be wise and make an intelligent decision that involves the well-being of her music.

"My hope for the future, not just in the music industry, but in every young girl I meet…is

"I Hate Love Songs" - GWAR "Fuck You" - Lilly Allan "Fuck It" - Eamon "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis "I Wanna Fuck A Dog" - Blink 182 "Bye Bye Bye" - 'NSYNC

tweety bird WITH GREAT TWITTER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY Simon Thistlewood × Writer

Twitter can be more than just a communication channel for people to rant on. It can be used as a platform for serious discourse and the dissemination of vital information as fast as possible. But Twitter has to be used in a better manner in order for it to work.

The biggest misconception made by people not on Twitter is the belief that its only use is as a vehicle for talking about one’s day and for following celebrities when the truth is that Twitter can be used for so much more than that.

Some people who use Twitter are talking about serious ideas and they link their followers to longer articles on topics they’re discussing. Others are news junkies who follow reporters and newspapers, discussing articles and sharing them.

Some have even rebelled against the essential 140 character restraints by writing Twitter essays composed of multiple tweets linked together. Steven Sodenbergh wrote a novella on Twitter. However, the best of Twitter is its ease in bringing disparate voices together in real time to quickly discuss issues at hand. The genius of Twitter, like Google search, is its simplicity, and in this case, the clarity of its design and interface.

All kinds of conversations are perpetually

happening on Twitter. People in bad situations use Twitter to present evidence and arguments that counter narratives presented by governments, traditional media and police. They’re doing it on every level of discourse from barely literate rant to bone dry academia. Twitter is so ubiquitous in our present moment because it exemplifies so well the dominant characteristics of where Internet culture is right now. Twitter is pluralistic, blitzkrieg fast. There are almost 300 million active Twitter users sending 500 million tweets a day. Who are you going to listen to, which artists, politicians, thinkers, girls and boys are going to be on your news feed? And what are you going to say back?

There’s that scene, in the start of the movie Her where Joaquim Phoenix’s character is riding the subway home after a shitty day at his office job that he hates, he’s heading home to play video games in his apartment, and he clicks on the link to look at nude pregnant photos of a reality TV star. Everyone has the right to unwind at the end of a long day by shutting their minds off and chilling out for a New York minute. But we are all active participants in the culture we live in and we have to choose whether we want to click that link or not. So the next time Dunham, Bynes, or some other celebrity breaks down on Twitter, ignore it - there are better things to read about.

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

Having a public melt down on Twitter is all the rage these days. Recently, Lena Dunham got pissed off at a bunch of conservatives on Twitter after National Review writer, Kevin D. Williamson picked a quote out of Dunham’s recent memoir, Not That Kind of Girl. The writer objected to a passage wherein Dunham inspected her sister’s vagina as a child, calling it “Some very disturbing behaviour that would be considered child abuse in many jurisdictions.” Dunham didn’t hesitate before responding in three concise tweets, which have been described by the media as ‘meltdown.’

The tweets are actually well constructed considering that they have been portrayed as a meltdown. Probably because “celebrity meltdown on Twitter” sells better than “writer gives appropriate response.” Since lashing out on Twitter, Dunham has issued a more apologetic statement, writing “Childhood sexual abuse is a life-shattering event for so many, and I have been vocal about the rights of survivors. If the situations described in my book have been painful or triggering for people to read, I am sorry, as that was never my intention.”

Dunham isn’t the only one to have her Twitter feed turn into a news story. Amanda Bynes is famed for her Twitter habits, and has made headlines after a series of tweets where she accused her father of being verbally and sexually abusive. Bynes later retracted those claims, tweeting that, “My dad never did any of those things. The microchip in my brain made me say those things, but he’s the one that ordered them to microchip me.” Bynes’ rant happened on Oct. 10 and it dominated Facebook and Twitter feeds as news of the day. A minor celebrity who's likely mentally ill took to Twitter to make outlandish claims about her parents and the public ate it up. Other news on Oct. 10 included: the first human trials of an Ebola vaccine, Tesla announcing a new electric car and Malala Yousafzai becoming the youngest person to win a Nobel Prize. But those stories aren’t nearly as exciting to talk about.

15

columns

LEAH SCHEITEL COLUMNS EDITOR

House of common sense FUTURE LOOKS GRIM FOR NDP AND GREEN Kevin Kapenda × Columnist

Kevin Kapenda has been the Courier’s unofficial political correspondent for the past two years. This year, we just made it a bit more official. Through his column, he will be delving into the world of politics and highlight what students should pay closer attention to. He’s doing the hard political work so you don’t have to.

The great thing about our parliamentary system is that it allows multiple parties to run for office. For example, in the 2011 federal election, 18 political parties ran candidates and five of those parties elected members to Parliament. However, because only two of the five parties have ever formed government, the remaining parties with seats in Ottawa are struggling to gain support and credibility. The four national parties with seats in Ottawa are the Conservatives, Liberals, NDP and Greens. While the NDP have received their fair share of media coverage by being Canada’s Official Opposition, they still have yet to be taken seriously by Canadians, as suggested by

their slumping poll numbers. The Green Party of Canada, which is heavily based in BC, also doesn’t seem appear to be building on their 2011 success. As we inch closer to the 2015 election, it’s important to realize that our longstanding tradition of being ruled by either by Conservative or Liberal government is what continues to prevent other parties from winning elections.

In 2011, the federal NDP led by the late Jack Layton made a historic breakthrough in the election by winning 101 seats in nine provinces and becoming the Official Opposition. As the Official Opposition, the NDP gained countless opportunities to outline their vision for the country in house debates and critique the government’s policies in Question Period. In spite of their “incumbency” advantages and “Question Period airtime,” the NDP is struggling in the polls, well behind the Conservatives and the leading Liberals. In a recent November poll published by Ipolitics.ca, the NDP would roughly capture 21 per cent of the national vote if an election were held today — down from the 30 per cent they received in 2011. But what’s most troubling for the party is that its 29 seats in BC and Ontario are in danger because most of their loss of support is coming from those provinces. This was seen when the former downtown Toronto NDP “safe seat” of Jack Layton’s widow, Olivia Chow, was captured by current Liberal MP

EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Adam Vaughn in a June 2014 by-election. The hopes of using opposition status to form government in 2015 have all been erased for a party that will most likely return to third party status in next year’s election.

In addition to the NDP’s woes, many fringe parties like the Green Party of Canada, the former powerhouse Bloc Quebecois and the Libertarian Party, are also feeling the effects of a political culture bound to Conservative and Liberal governance. Those three parties, who are the next three popular ones after the NDP, Liberals and Tories, struggle for media attention for many different reasons. The first one is because they do not have many elected MPs or elect none at all in the case of the Libertarian Party. The second is that they usually don’t have enough supporters and resources to coordinate leaders’ tours with media. Lastly is because those parties’ policies or values often overlap with some of the larger parties’ policies as well. For example, the Green Party and Liberal Party both want to tax carbon emissions.

When fringe parties do become popular, like the Reform Party and Bloc Quebecois did in the 1990s, they do so only until they merge with or lose supporters to bigger and more established parties.

The Reform Party was a conservative coalition that elected members in all four of Western Canada’s provinces, while the Separatist Bloc Quebecois’ caucus was concentrated in Quebec. The Reform Party eventually merged with the Progressive Conservatives under its Canadian Alliance name to form the current Conservative Party of Canada, while the Bloc Quebecois lost most of its supporters

and voters to the NDP in 2011. Though the lifespan of Reform and Bloc was short, their overnight success does offer one important lesson to Canada’s fringe parties: to organize regionally.

BC is where the Green Party has been making a name for itself. In 2011, the Vancouver Island riding of Saanich-Gulf Islands elected the party’s first MP, leader Elizabeth May. May’s subsequent activism on the island also led to her neighbourhood electing a Green MLA, Andrew Weaver, in 2013. The issue for the NDP and Green Party is that many of their supporters in BC might end up voting for the Liberals, who at this point, appear to be the only progressive party who can possibly defeat Harper’s Conservatives. The projected losses of popular vote for both the NDP and the Greens would mean a loss of seats for Mulcair in BC and no new seats for May on the coast.

Former Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff’s poor campaign forced the media to turn to the NDP and Greens for an alternative voice in 2011. However, since Trudeau’s coronation as Liberal leader, the press seems to be focused on the boxing match between Liberals and Tories and uninterested in covering the five-party horse race that is our democracy. Due to their lack of coverage and falling poll numbers, it is safe to say that the NDP and Green Party will be unable to outperform their 2011 results in next year’s election, unless they can recapture the supporters who have left them for Trudeau’s “Stop Harper” coalition.

YoU haven't seen that?!

GROUNDHOG DAY

Holly Pavlik × Columnist

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

16

I receive a text from the Courier’s Editor-in-Chief.

“How’s the column coming?” she politely asks.

Shit. Did I forget to write an article this week?!

No way. I’m too perfect for that. “Maybe I gave you the wrong due dates,” she suggests. Second guessing my ego, I sift through old emails and discover that I’m the Zack Morris of the situation — late and unreliable, yet devastatingly sexy.

Normally I’m the Jessie Spano, so this is a hard caffeine pill to swallow (for reference, please see Saved by the Bell, season 2, episode 9).

My Zack Morris sexiness isn’t going to get me out of this one. The Editor knows I messed up and is choosing to be diplomatic. Leah Scheitel, everybody: a true leader and lovely human to work with. As a teacher’s pet by nature (and someone you would have hated in high school), I’m mortified. This week, I wish to go back in time to yesterday, knowing what I know now, and hand my article in on schedule like the good little ninth grader I am inside. And I’m going to do it vicariously through Bill Murray in 1993’s Groundhog Day. Bill Murray plays Phil Connors, a weatherman and a natural jerk. Along with his Producer, Rita, played by Andie MacDowell and cameraman, Larry, portrayed by SNL alum Chris Elliott, he

× Samantha Smith

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

Although Holly Pavlik works in the animation and movie industry, there are an alarming number of blockbuster movies she has yet to see. She is determined to watch them all, and will give you fresh eyes on stories and films the rest of us have all seen. For the record, she hasn’t missed an episode of Arrested Development. She loves Jason Bateman too much for that.

is assigned to cover the Groundhog Day festivities of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. It’s quite the spectacle, as a gentleman wearing a topper drags a groundhog out of its hole and announces to a chilly crowd it has chosen six more weeks of winter. Everybody boos the unsuspecting critter but if anybody’s to blame, it’s clearly the guy in the top hot. These types can’t be trusted. Who knows what’s hiding under there! Plus, I did some investigating on this furry guy (the groundhog, not top hat man) and he’s got no meteorology credentials — just a bachelor’s degree with a major in digging and a minor in being goddamned adorable. So please, let’s just leave him out of this. The blizzard that’s soon to follow snows in Phil and his news team. Forced to spend another night in Punxsutawney, Phil awakens to find he’s reliving February 2 all over again, and he’s the

only one who notices.

After Phil dials in on his time loop conundrum, he begins to take advantage of his new existence that lacks consequence. He seduces women, steals money and most notably indulges in delicious sugary treats pumped with gluten. So what Director Harold Ramis is saying is that if I were Phil, the package of Hungarian salami I just accidentally ate wouldn’t hit my digestive system in the morning.

Dear Universe, I’ll have whatever Phil Connors is having. Thanks! Love, Holly.

After sowing his wild, time-travelling oats, Phil focuses his efforts on wooing Rita. Day after day by trial and error, he slowly learns what gets her juices flowing and what makes her as dry as the Punxsutawney winter air. But like most men with repeating romantic failures, Phil starts foaming at the mouth. Desperate and impatient, he forces

himself on Rita with some gross kisses. I throw up a little and regret my poor salami choices. Now I know Bill Murray is the coolest man alive because that’s what the Internet says. But when it comes to sexuality? Nope. Uh uh. No way. Cheque please! Exhibit A: The “Bill Murray Sucks at Kissing” super cut. Google it. Exhibit B: The “Bill Murray Sucks at Kissing” super cut. And we mustn’t forget, Exhibit C: The “Bill Murray Sucks at Kissing” super cut. Case closed — turns out, he’s just as lame and uncoordinated as the rest of us.

The situation starts to turn Phil crazy as he drives both himself and a stolen groundhog off a cliff. Again, can’t we just leave the poor little rodent out of this?! Further, a morbid suicide montage has him attempting all the classics. Turns out, Phil is as successful at suicide as he is with women and after each attempt, he wakes up again in the same bed, at the same time, on the same day, and to “I Got You Babe” every time.

Eventually Phil starts to give up. This is when a sincere connection between him and Rita finally occurs. Accepting his redundant fate, Phil’s icy attitude melts to reveal a man who enjoys using his circumstance for good. He saves lives, fixes flat tires and like most epic heros, gives away WrestleMania tickets. Rita sees the impact he’s made and finally drops her pants.

After an evening of genuine “kindheartedness”, they wake up in each other’s arms and the curse has lifted — ‘today’ is officially ‘tomorrow’. So what does this tell us? To always give up. Life will be easier when you do.

In conclusion, Groundhog Day confirms that the only thing worse than six extra weeks of winter is watching Bill Murray make out with chicks.

On a personal note, I’ve learned to keep it real when eating salami. And before parting ways, I’d like to pass on these words of wisdom: hand your homework in on time, kids, because they aren’t all as nice as Leah Scheitel and we can’t all be as good looking as Zack Morris.

columns

too nietzsche HOW TO SHAVE A LIFE STEP 1: THE PRE-SHAVE PREP

Jeremy Hanlon × Communist Jeremy Hanlon is a mastermind in all things off the beaten path. Some of his interests include instant music trivia, moustache cultivation and wheeling around the office on a swivel chair. With his column, he will explore the world of the niche, and why underground communities are often the most welcoming.

to shave so that your blade is almost flat to your face, and you should only be applying light pressure, so as to cut the hair, but not your face.

Your first pass should be done cutting with the grain (or if you’re using a safety razor, every pass should), as this prevents ingrown hairs. Short strokes are likely to irritate the skin, and are not advised. Instead, it’s acceptable to use strokes that are about one half inch to one inch in length, and washing your razor after each few strokes (or every stroke with multi-blade shaving razors). After you have shaved your face, you can reapply your remaining lather and do a second shave, this time cross-grain or against the grain. This will leave you with the closest shave.

STEP 2: THE SHAVE

STEP 3: POST-SHAVE

If you're doing this with a knife, you really don’t want to fuck this up, so pay attention. You want

Oh. My. God. Look at that face. Check out your smooth jawline. Try not to notice that you’re 12

× Arin Ringwald

So you’ve grown an abomination. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You went in all starry-eyed and optimistic, expecting to get all the girls who wear racially questionable Native American headdresses to music festivals, but are drawing more comparisons to the Unabomber than the Fleet Foxes. I feel you, man, and I’m here for you. Far be it from me to push you towards rash decisions, but sometimes it’s best to just cut your losses, grab the nearest blade and press it to your face-pubes.

That said, I wouldn’t want you to jump into shaving without the proper knowledge, and risk getting ingrown hairs. Ingrown hairs are the literal worst (take that, Ebola!), and lead to pimples and potential facial scarring. We can’t jeopardize the money-maker, so I’m going to give a handy little how-to for facial lumberjackery. This is specific to straight-razor shaving (because what’s better than grooming practices that can kill you?), but the guidelines are applicable to all shaving techniques, so you ladies can get on the shave-train too, if you feel so inclined — this conductor don’t discriminate.

Ironically, what you do before shaving is almost more important than the shaving itself, as it will decide whether your face looks like Michelangelo’s David or a leper colony. What you want to do is make it easier for your razor to reach the bottoms of the hairs, and also ease the actual cutting of said hair, so there’s no tugging happening on your face. The best way to do this is to prep your face and blade for the shave. If you’re using a straight razor, you’re going to want to strop it to ensure it’s as sharp as it can be, and then get your face ready for the shave.

Before putting a blade to your face, it’s important to soften the hairs and open your pores, as this makes the hairs stick out. How do you do this? Heat. In barbershops, it’s not uncommon to hear shaving services called hot towel shaves, because they place towels on the face, which are just short of scalding to prepare for the clearcutting of facial topiary. In a home setting, a hot shower will do, and the steam will also clear your throat nicely for when you inevitably sing dirges to your deceased Dan Mangan. After that, a conditioner or moisturizer will help the hairs absorb moisture and really soften up for the cull. Wait a few minutes so that your beard has a chance to both fully soften and come to terms with its impending demise.

When all of that is done, you simply need to lather up your shaving brush and massage your creamy shaving micro-foam onto all the hairy bits of your face, and you’re ready for the death of a man.

again. Here comes the last part, the post-shave.

First thing you’re going to want to do is rinse your face with the coldest water you can stand. This will close up your pores so no excess oils or missed hairs find their way back in your skin. After that you want to apply an after-shave lotion. Make sure that it’s alcohol free, as alcohol will dry up your skin, and hurt like crap if you got any nicks during your shave. A few minutes after you’ve applied your after-shave, you’ll want to also lather on some moisturizer, to keep your skin nice and supple.

After that, you’re good and done.

Well, you’ve lost 10 years and simultaneously freed up your face to the biting caress of the brisk November breezes. Bittersweet moments, right?

Just bear in mind that with there will always be later years, and future beards to romance.

tasha salads THE RULE OF THREES @ThreesACrowd asks: I recently had a

Tasha Salads × Columnist

mit to regular upkeep – trimming, shaving, waxing, whatever – when it comes to their fur pies, while men can easily work the natural look. While I doubt that this girl was trying to make a political statement in refusing to go bushwhacking, she has a right to her opinion.

And maybe, just maybe, you can learn from this unfortunate misadventure.

The point is to at least make your manbush semi-presentable. After all, I bet you put some effort into choosing what you wore to the bar, if only to put on actual pants. And unless this girl was willing to go home with anything that walked upright and had a wiener, I bet you had to put some effort into talking to her before she decided to follow you home. So why not take this one tiny step further in order to ensure you seal the deal? I'm not asking for anything extravagant here, just a little trim. Next time, show her that you care.

a number of different formations (and I'm not even going to get into the gender combinations involved). You could easily have a threesome with two acquaintances you meet at a party, but most threesomes seem to involve an established twosome seeking out a special guest, such as yourself. The cameo appearance, in my opinion, is the best possible role to have in a threesome. Being the odd one out makes you automatically sexier than the other two players – your vag, tits, and ass are uncharted territory – simply by virtue of the fact that you're not around all the time.

In addition, you get to experience all of the sexual sizzle of three-play, but without having to deal with the annoying emotional crap that follows – jealousy, insecurity, betrayal, blah blah blah. Trust me when I say that even the most open-minded, secure couples may struggle to get a hold on the emotional issues that float up to the surface after a threesome. You get to walk away, while the couple has to muck through whatever the experience meant for their relationship. Barf.

As someone who was probably important once said, "With great privilege comes great responsibility." If you want to have another threesome with your friend and his GF, have the courtesy to wait until they approach you.

And if they don't, well, there's plenty of fish in the sea of threes.

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

@ABreathofFreshHair says : The other night I went home with a girl from the bar. When I got naked, she took one look at my bush and ran in the other direction. What's up with that?

There's a very real possibility that this girl was suffering from what I like to refer to as alcohol-induced amnesia. When she regained her memory at your place, just after you dropped your pants, she suddenly remembered she had a boyfriend and had to go in a hurry. However, let's pretend the chances of that are slim so that instead of talking about her problem with alcohol, we can talk about your problem with the Bush administration.

While most women may claim not to mind a man who doesn't do any manscaping, the reality is that there is a sick double standard out there when it comes to pubic hair. Most North American men expect women to com-

× Sydney Parent

Tasha Salads is an expert in all things sexy. She has more used lingerie than all of Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriends combined. And she’s here to answer your dirtiest, darkest and raunchiest questions.

Tweet @tashasalads to air some dirty laundry. If you're shy, send her a DM and she’ll use a pseudonym to answer your question.

sexual encounter with one of my guy friends and his GF. I haven't heard from either of them since, but I'd really like to do it again. What should I do?

Good things come in threes. This has been proven time and again throughout history, from Biblical times (the Three Wise Men) to the present-day (Harry, Ron, and Hermoine) and everything else in between (Snap, Crackle, Pop; Charlie's Angels; the Three Musketeers; Sublime; or Buffy, Willow, and Zander). In geometry, the shape formed when three points are joined together – known as the triangle for those of you who didn't make it through elementary school – is the strongest and most stable two-dimensional figure. The study of triangle formations is so mysterious and aweinspiring that it warrants its own sub-discipline: trigonometry. If mathematics students weren't so hopeless at wooing potential sexual partners, they'd be applying their obscure knowledge of triangles to have threesomes all the time. Unfortunately, most are more likely to be stuck at the level of losing their virginity. Just sayin'.

So, you've had you're first taste of a tantalizing ménage à trois, and naturally, you're salivating for more. But you're absolutely right to consider your next move carefully – ask for too much and the all-powerful God of Threesomes will undoubtedly smite you from the heavens.

Before you get down on your knees and beg, it's time to consider your role in the trio.

As with equilateral, isosceles, and scalene triangles in geometry, threesomes can take on

17

CAp you who you?

CARLO JAVIER LIFESTYLE EDITOR

CARLO.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

paper planes for charity

GLEN JACKSON

Kevin Kapenda × Writer

Glen Jackson is an Arts and Entertainment Management student who has been managing and playing in the alternative indie-rock band, Derrival, since 2009. Before graduating high school, they started to play clubs in Vancouver, waiting in cold alleys until it was their turn to go on stage because they were too young to go inside. Their dream was to be in the top three of the PEAK Performance Project, and now they are. “That dream has become a reality. Now, we are setting the bar high and I can’t wait to see what the future brings,” he says, “I have learned to set the bar as high as possible even if it is ridiculous and do my best to make it happen.”

Favourite thing about being in Derrival?

My favourite thing about being in Derrival is having a family to share the proudest moments of my life with. As cheesy as it sounds, most of my fondest memories have been had with the band.

× Contributed In five years, you will be…?

Performing in Madison Square Garden to a sold out crowd and running a record label on the side.

Favourite ice cream?

Every single type.

A band you’d love to take the stage with?

The 1975.

Favourite superhero?

Batman.

Dream venue to play at?

The Commodore Ballroom.

Before-bed ritual?

Pass out while watching Dragon’s Den.

How much do you love your band members?

Enough to spend weeks at a time in a smelly van with four other guys.

Instrument you’d never play?

Bagpipes.

Every year, Capilano University runs a United Way campaign to raise funds for the charity in the Lower Mainland. Carolyn Stern, a professor in the Business Administration Program, serves as the campaign’s chair. Stern says that the United Way uses its resources to fight childhood poverty, reduce schoolyard bullying between grades four and seven, and ease senior isolation.

To raise money for United Way, Stern and her fellow organizers host various student-run events to collect donations and promote the organization. To kick-off this year’s campaign, they hosted an information session over breakfast in the Birch Cafeteria late last month. “We had a pancake breakfast On Oct. 30, we launched our [campaign], and the president spoke. We served some pancakes and talked about the United Way,” says Stern. In addition to their breakfast rally, the organizers also held a paper airplane toss on Nov. 5, and a book sale the week after. United Way organizer Brian Ball believes that the amount of participants who tossed planes that afternoon really helped his organization turn heads.

“We had probably a thousand airplanes thrown, and we had great prizes for the person who was able to hit our target with their plane. It was a great opportunity to launch the campaign and build awareness for the United Way,” says Ball.

One of the big events the United Way team hosts every year at CapU is their used book sale. The organizing committee put up bins in various hotspots on campus to facilitate donations between Oct. 17 and Nov. 7. The book sale was held on Nov. 12 and

13, and was very popular amongst people on campus. “Our book sale was a huge success and it raises a lot of money for the United Way,” says Stern.

But what really pleased her about the sale was the amount of students who checked out the booth and purchased books. “I’m so proud. So many students are shopping here and reading, not because they have too, but for pleasure. It’s great because it’s a learning institution. It’s great to see that students are actually reading,” she says. Because the annual sale was so profitable, Stern also hinted at hosting another one during the spring semester to raise even more funds for the United Way. “We have this yearly book sale, but we are actually thinking of doing two book sales in the year; one now, one in the spring. Everybody waits one year to donate books and buy some.”

In addition to their successful book sale, the campaign will still be hosting a few other events to engage people who may still not be familiar with the organisation. On Nov. 19, the organizers will host the “Cap Olympics” in the Sportsplex building, an obstacle course themed event with prizes for top competitors. And on Nov. 20 ,they’ll be running a remote control car rally in the CSU Lounge. The United Way campaign will wrap-up the following week with: a Capilano FIFA Video Game Soccer Tournament on Nov. 24, a Tea Party for student volunteers on Nov. 26, and a Comedy Show at the Downtown Vancouver Comedy Mix Club on Nov. 27. “We’ve got way more events this year, so we are hoping they will generate more donations and awareness for [United Way],”explains Stern.

For more information, visit Capilanou.ca/newsevents/events/united-way/

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

Our Production Manager and our Lifestyle Editor are big fans of the cafeteria, especially of their “Good Morning” breakfasts. However, we must admit that the Capilano University cafeteria is not exactly the most ideal place to get a meal from. We’ve already ranted about the disappearance of the Pita Pit, and the overpriced refrigerated sushi. So this time, we took a stroll around campus and asked some students about how they would improve our dear cafeteria.

18

Devyn Slocum

Daniel Cheung

Lauryann Tellus

Taylor Krekoski

Scott Moraes

Dana Sharon

Lil Schei

1st Year General Science

1st Year Music Diploma

3rd Year

2nd year Global Stewardship

Disgruntled Ex-Student

2nd Year Communications

4th Year Nut Gatherer

Devyn seemed to either have just gotten out of class, or was about to get into one. He kept a low profile with his cigarette and a can of Monster energy drink. The thing that surprised us the most was his enthusiasm for his first ever photo shoot – and it’s with us!

We caught up with Daniel just outside of the CSU Lounge. He seemed like he was in a rush, but he still took the time to talk to us and even allowed us to take a several photos of him for clarity.

Quietly working away in the library was Lauryann. She’s an exchange student and she understands that improving the cafeteria is not just about the food, but also the lineups that can get inefficient, particularly during peak hours.

Also in the library was Taylor. He knew what he had to say right away. Really, his answer was so fast, it almost caught us off guard.

Our very vocal Courier alumnus Scott Moraes makes a special appearance in this edition of the Creeper. Just as always, he’s got some sound tips in terms of bettering the art of food production and service.

We found Dana pretending to her communications homework in the library. She was very passionate about how we could improve our cafeteria and we couldn’t agree more with what she had to say.

We found Lil Schei foraging around her office for nuts one afternoon.

“Cheaper.”

“More variety of options.”

“I would probably try to improve the line issues, especially at 11:30, and add more choices because its always the same thing, particularly for the fast food.”

“I would exile Aramark and get all our food made by students.”

“Sexy girls on rollerblades delivering your order to your table.”

“I’d appreciate if they got Red from Orange is the New Black to prepare the food because I’m sure it’d be better.”

“This cold weather sure does shrivel up my favorite nuts. I mostly evening at home with my cats and my movies. I'd arrpreciate popcorn to go with my movies!"

Business Administration

caboose

CARLO JAVIER LIFESTYLE EDITOR

CABOOSE@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

The Reason I don't go out anymore A MISGUIDED GUIDE TO BECOMING A CRAZY CAT LADY

by Leah Scheitel, Hank and Min's Mom

My demise into becoming a cat lady wasn’t intentional. Last September, I agreed to look after my friend’s two cats for six weeks while she was away working on Vancouver Island. Six weeks turned into three months, and then six months. And then, while at a house party in the spring, she slurred, “They’re basically yours now, dude. They love you more anyways.”

So now, I’m the caregiver to two furballs – one, an overweight, all white beauty dubbed Hank, and another, a small long haired calico named Min. Hank was aptly named after Hank Moody from Californication, which is fitting because he is an affection slut. Min was found in a dumpster in Montreal and therefore has a perma-bitch look on her face.

Even though everything I wear is covered in cat hair, my purses all smell like cat piss and friends have openly expressed their worry that I’m becoming a crazy cat lady, I love the little shits. Now that they are in my life, I can’t imagine it without them.

Here are my tips for living your life with cats, and how to become that crazy cat lady.

and snuggled deeper into my arms. It’s like he knew I needed it or something. He can have his NYC adventures with his ex girlfriend. I have sober Saturday nights with no romance and a cat. I think my relationship has a better chance of survival anyways.

HAVE A REASON BESIDES THEM TO GO HOME

THERE FOR YOU For the longest time, I had a crush on this guy from the States. We would flirt back and forth over text and social media, and he always asked about my cats. He called Min “Hank’s Little Bitch” and that has since become her new nickname. After not hearing from him for three weeks, I was a little sad.

I was having a mellow weekend and was snuggled in bed watching Gilmore Girls with Hank curled into my chest. I checked Instagram only to be devastated when my crush posted a photo of his ex, an obvious sign of reconciliation. “Having a Great time in NYC with this lady,” read the caption.

Right then, Hank let out a giant exhale, stretched,

OF CAT EVERYWHERE Cat smell. It’s an inherent truth of nature, no matter how many times a day their litter box is scooped out.

They are also territorial and like to pee on things that smell like you. I’m still not sure which cat is to blame, but one of my little darlings pissed in my really nice purse out of revenge. It was a busy week, and I wasn’t home a lot, so to make it known that they weren’t happy about it, I came home to a puddle of piss in my black leather purse. I have aired it out, doused it in Febreeze, washed it with baking soda, but no matter what, there is an underlying smell of stale piss whenever I use it. I went to a show with some friends of mine a month ago, and while dancing with the purse on, my friend Andy turned to me and said “Schei, you got to get a new purse. Schei, it’s disgusting.” His nose was turned up like he was asked to lick something off the floor of a bottle depot. I, however, was used to the smell, and it didn’t bother me. If you can get used to the stench, and accept it as part of your aroma, then your friends should be able to as well, right?

EMBRACE THE HAIR When I first lived with the shits, I tried to keep their hair out of my room. I closed the door, vacuumed at least twice a week, and went through lint brushes faster than toilet paper. But no matter how many measures are taken, there is no way to get rid of all of the hair. So instead of trying, just make it a part of your fashion sense. Everything black becomes speckled with white sparkles. Anything grey is enhanced with extra grey and white tones. Hank has

taken to sleeping in my laundry basket when I am gone, and I suspect it’s because he likes the scent of me. I take it as a sign that he misses me when I’m gone for the day. This enables him to decorate all of my clothes in his white hair. If my wardrobe wasn’t covered in cat hair as it currently is, I wouldn’t have a style unique to me.

TURN EVERY CONVERSATION INTO ONE ABOUT YOUR CATS This is a little difficult to do, as it works best as a seamless transition. However, if you’re talking in depth about serious topics, such as American politics or the environmental hazards of LNG, the tone can be lightened by a feline anecdote. It’s best worked in as a footnote – for example, state your case for supporting a specific politician with reason and facts, and then end your argument with, “Plus, I just think that Hank would like him better. He’s the kind of guy who’s not worried about a little cat hair on his clothes.” And now you’re back to the important conversation – the one about your cats.

True to the stereotype, cats do make it easier to be single. Why slut yourself out, exchanging dates for cuddles when you can get them from animals who simply adore you and want your company. They cheer you up, are always excited to see you and are the best teddy bears. Really, it’s a wonder we aren’t all crazy cat people.

T H E C A P I L A N O C O U R I E R . VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

LET THEM BE

On more than one occasion, I have left social functions to go home to my cats because I wanted to.

It’s a sorry excuse to leave a party, and everyone will mock you – you’re leaving the cool, hip club to go home to your cats. And no matter how many times you try to explain how cute they are, and that this is usually your “cuddle hour” with them, no one else will get it. So you need another excuse to leave the party without looking nuts.

I have taken to the “I think I left my hair straightener on” excuse. It’s good because it’s a serious claim, and if anyone doubts it, you can reply with “So you want my house to burn down”. And no one can prove it otherwise, allowing you to saunter away from the party and come home to your meowing best friends. I’ve used it so often that people think I’m a bit of an airhead and don’t know how an on/off switch works. Then you have to weigh your choices: would you rather be an airhead or a crazy cat lady?

GET USED TO THE SMELL

19

shotgun reviews CELEBRITIES THAT WOULD MAKE THE BEST PRIME MINISTERS

ALEX TREBEK

ANDREW WALKER

DRAKE

GORDON SUMNER

I don’t know about you, but when I think celebrity the first person that comes to mind is the almighty Alex Trebek – either him or Kim Kardashian’s massive ass, #breaktheinternet. Maybe it’s daddy issues, but there is something both trustworthy and sensual about the man’s moustache and his inherent ability to deliver fancy jargon. And if there is one thing that truly qualifies you to be the Canadian Prime Minister, it’s delivering fancy jargon.

Trebek has been hosting Jeopardy for the past 30 years, and after all those rounds of spicy trivia, he is basically an expert in all categories like history, beavers, hockey and Kim Kardashian’s massive ass. Trebek would be the best choice for PM because Americans are familiar with his face, and for the first time in history, Americans would both know and respect our country’s leader. By electing Trebek, the American public will already be trusting of him – and that means Canada is on a power play. Imagine the damage Trebek could do without anyone even questioning it. He’d obviously still have to host Jeopardy every night though – otherwise I’d be pissed.

I am extremely fussy when it comes to choosing a Prime Minister. I won’t just vote for anyone – they must bring something new to the table and a orchestrate a convincing campaign. Andrew Walker of Montreal, has got to be one of the sexiest Canadian actors out there – if you don’t believe me, then you’ll just have to watch A Bride for Christmas and see for yourself. Walker makes being over 30 look flawless and manages to maintain washboard abs that look like a 22-yearold’s. This handsome lad has been working as an actor since 1996 and still has yet to appear on the big screen. It’s a shame that Walker’s exceptionally alluring looks are going to waste and that all the girls are not hovering over him. If you have watched shows such as Sabrina, the Teenage Witch and The Big Bang Theory you might have seen him, though you have probably not acknowledged his sexy face until now – you’re welcome!

For all the single ladies who want to put a ring on it, according to the Internet* he’s doesn’t have a girlfriend. Surely this will make choosing a Prime Minister one hundred times easier. *Editor's Note: Walker is married.

If there is one thing that Drake does well, it’s getting stuff done. Drake’s music career has been defined by action and the need to do more. After releasing three albums in three years, it’s easy to see why he takes “no days off.” With minority governments being the trend at the federal level because of the large group of parties, Canada is going to need an individual who gets things done when our politics become gridlocked again. Unlike most of our lawmakers who are polite and correct, Drake doesn’t care about feelings, because “business is business” and every decision he makes is “strictly financial.” Drake also runs a label called OVO Sound, so you know he can manage a caucus of diverse politicians. But if that’s not enough for you, it’s also important to note that Drake is extremely patriotic. He will restore our political presence on the international state, like he’s done for our hip-hop scene and our only NBA team, the Toronto Raptors. He’s already the face of our hip-hop and basketball culture. Why not give him the keys to our political future as well?

Every breath you take, every move you make, the government will be watching you. Personally, and I’m so lonely holding this position, I think we should actually embrace our new police state. I’m sending out an SOS, or a message in a bottle, if you will, in hopes that Sting will answer my call and swoop in to win claim to the prime minister’s office via competitive tantric sex-off. That’s how it works, right? Don’t get me wrong, I will definitely mourn the death of democratic due process, but how cool would it be to have the King of Pain himself as the King of Canada? Besides, I’m pretty sure I heard that every little thing he does is magic – like walking on the moon and shit! So he’s got me wrapped around his finger. Don’t stand so close to me if you don’t like it, because you can be sure that every lawn I rake, every cake I bake, Prime Minister Sting can watch me all day long.

Faye Alexander // Jeopardy Champion

Keara Farnan // Sprite Zero

the hot ChArt WITH

// ANDY RICE

IF EVERYTHING WAS NAMED AFTER CELEBRITIES CAR DEALERSHIP // HARRISON FORD

THE CAPILANO COURIER.

VOLUME 48 I SSUE N O . 11

BREAKFAST SPECIAL // EGGS BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH

20

FENCE MANUFACTURER // BILL GATES HOTEL CHAIN // PARIS HILTON… OH WAIT GAMBLING COUNSELLOR // DAVID SPADE LOCKSMITH

// ALICIA KEYS

WINDOW WASHING SERVICE // CHARLIE SHEEN POTTERY SUPPLY STORE

// ANDREW DICE CLAY

GAS STATION // VIN DIESEL FRENCH RESTAURANT // SHIA LABOEUF SECURITY SERVICE // KEIRA NIGHTLY FITNESS GYM // LANCE ARMSTRONG SHOE STORE // FEETWOOD MAC

Kevin Kapenda // Canada's Obama

James Martin // Cereal Fanatic

tweets oF the week #BREAKTHEINTERNET

Mister_E @misterrr_eee RT @ImGallagherr: Someone should hack Kim K's iCloud account and release some fully clothed photos of her. #breaktheinternet Yagana Shah @TheLadyYaga If the only way you can get people to give a damn about you is by taking your clothes off, go ahead and #breaktheinternet.

Elijah Jean @MsDooyah I'm tryna understand how Kim is #breaktheinternet if we seen her bust it wide open with Ray Jay years ago damn near for free ......

HuffPostEnt @HuffPostEnt #breaktheinternet because Benedict Cumberbatch just did 11 celebrity impressions Catherine McKenzie @CEMcKenzie1 hu-bris (n.) \hyü-brs\ -- To believe one can #breaktheinternet simply by releasing naked photographs of oneself. First known use: 11/12/14 Jack Granville @Jack_Granville I don’t understand why people are so shocked by Kim K’s naked photos. I mean we’ve seen it all before #breaktheinternet Cheryl ;) @Nonofo_Chay_xD Kim K got paid $43 million dollars to take those photos, guys send nudes for free and don't even get a text back #BreakTheInternet Maria Shriver @mariashriver If everyone who's talking about Kim Kardashian's #BreakTheInternet photos had actually stopped to vote we would have an engaged electorate Mary Caliendo @2happyright Why #breaktheinternet when it's not broken?