Capilano Courier Volume 46 Issue 10 by Capilano Courier

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north vancouver

× November 19 2012

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N o . 10

Are you prepared? Learn your letters

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bombs over translink

a taylor shift

Web 101.0

12-11-16 8:17 PM

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CAPILANO Courier TABLE OF contents news

The Staff 4

of this groundbreaking university newspaper

Organs for sale

columns

6 JJ Brewis Editor-in-Chief

Brushstroke bidding

arts

Giles Roy Managing Editor

Samantha Thompson Copy Editor

Nerds come together

features

Get a job, ya filthy animal

calendar

Lindsay Howe News Editor

Natalie Corbo Features Editor

Celina Kurz Arts Editor

Babe alert: James Franco and Paul McCartney

Opinions

Leah Scheitel Opinions Editor

Scott Moraes Caboose Editor

Ricky Bao Business Manager

George Lucas is cool... and pays for your school

The Scottumentary Stefan Tosheff Production Manager

Katie So Art Director

Connor Thorpe Staff Writer

the capilano courier

Ă&#x2014;

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46 issue N o . 10

CABOOSE

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Shannon Elliott Web Editor

Colin Spensley Distribution Manager

Leanne Kriz Ads & Events Manager

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× Letter from the editor ×

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES × ON the Cover ×

kira CAmpbell Kira Campbell is a born and raised windsurfer who enjoys calculus and hot sauce on the side. http://kmacampbell.tumblr.com/

Featured Contributors Alex Harvey-Wickens “ditched a career in plumbing” to enroll in the IDEA program here at Capilano. “I’m currently a full-time student but enjoy doing the occasional freelance gig when I find the opportunity,” he says. Born in the United Arab Emirates to Scottish and English parents, Alex says he is “living proof the Scots and the English can get along.” And despite his multicultural roots, he jokes, “I didn’t realize I had a doublebarreled surname until I was 18.” After growing up in Australia, Alex immigrated to Canada, “having never set foot in the country.” Not only is he passionate about illustration, but his love of board sports lend to an enjoyment of extreme seasons – Alex says, “[In] winter you’ll find me on the local mountains or Whistler shredding. The rest of the year I’ll be saving pennies to get me to a palm tree dotted beach with peeling waves.” After a high-profile gig designing top sheets for local Vancouver ski company Crown Skis, Alex is set to enjoy a nice winter with two of his favourites: “Rum and eggnog, and Top Gear.” You can view more of Alex’s work at Harveywickens.wordpress.com.

whatever I want with. That said, with a little perspective that I’ve gained over these past few years, I know I wouldn’t get into the emotionally abusive relationships of my past. But still. My life is pretty full as it is. Two jobs, class, social obligations, attempts to stay creative, well-traveled and well-read, and the list goes on. I haven’t even made time to see the new Disney movie that’s been out in theatres for the past month, because I simply don’t have time. For anyone who knows anything about me, you’ll know that says a lot. We all need to learn lessons for ourselves. I always think back to a time I visited my sister in Victoria, who at the time was dating an emotionally manipulative scumbag. As much as the rest of people could see through him, she needed to end it for herself and see what the situation was in her own eyes. She’s a strong, independent woman today, partially attributed to her having to go through a situation that was far from ideal. If you asked me to tell you how many first dates I’ve been on in the past five years, I couldn’t even tell you. It certainly began as a desperate and awkward foray into the ideal worldview that I should get right back on my feet. But just like taking some time away from education, I think there’s a lot to be said in taking time for yourself. I don’t know that I necessarily believe human beings are monogamous naturally. The amount of hard work that goes into a committed relationship is hard. I speak from experience that it’s not the squeakyclean image mainstream media makes it out to be. It’s a lot of pressure being in a relationship. And a lot of the time when I think of being with one person until I die, it freaks me the fuck out. And I’m not alone: The Globe and Mail reports that a 2011 Canadian census showed a “decade-long decline” in pre-dominant family structure. People are still shacking up and having kids, but I’m not alone in my singledom, which in all honesty does feel good. My main issue with society’s impression about coupling up is the idea of someone else “completing” you. Why shouldn’t a couple be about two fully functioning individuals coming together to create a really awesome pair? There seems to be a stigma in our culture where single people are seen as those who “couldn’t find someone.” I see quite the opposite – the idea of choosing to be alone is much preferred to the ideology that you must find someone, just to feel secure in your own skin. Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for being in a relationship if the cards are in your favour. But too many people that I’ve known throughout my life end up as part of a couple that is so blatantly dysfunctional to those on the outside, yet the pair remains in tact for whatever reason. The people I admire most in this world are those who retain their independence whether they’re single or in a relationship. It’s possible either way, after all. Maybe one day Prince Andrew Garfield will come riding through Vancouver on a silver SkyTrain, but until then I’m pretty content. I’m not saying I won’t ever get lonely. But that’s what French bulldogs are for, right?

Featuring: giles Roy

The Voicebox gives you the chance to have your opinion heard, no matter how irrelevant or uninformed. Just send a text message to (778) 235-7835 to anonymously “voice” your “thoughts” on any “subject.” As long as it’s not too offensive, we’ll publish it! It’s a win-win-win, unless you’re a loser.

“The new 20 dollar bills are the worst, they stick together so you end up giving extra money when you're paying for stuff.” I lost 40 dollars this week, and I'm now realizing that this exact thing is probably what happened.

“Don't listen to Ondore's lies!” You got it, nerd. “Why does Anna Beedes only write about her bad dates and aborted relationships? I'd be single too if I kept bad-mouthing everyone that went out with me!”

“Why are you so mean to everyone who texts you?” I'm not being mean, I just have a British sense of humour because I'm British.

“The new Twilight movie is the worst one yet. I only went for a laugh but WOW. I'm glad that's over.”

Listen, I don't know who you are, but I'm getting really sick of your bullshit. “Okay it's Childish Gambino, home girl drop it like a Nasdaq” Wow, a text from a real celebrity! I haven't gotten a text from a celebrity since Mekhi Pfiefer told me to leave him alone. Mekhi, I hope you're seeing this. I don't need you anymore.

Thanks for the update. Hey, here's a thing that happened: remember when you “ironically” bought that ticket? You actually bought that ticket. Then the assholes that make these genuinely despicable, culturally damaging movies sat around a table in a cave somewhere, counting their millions and yukking it up. Your money, same as the money of so many brainwashed and disempowered 13-year-old girls, was thrown into a pile and rolled around upon. They are laughing at you. Next time, please do the world a relative favour and flush that money down the toilet. Or, as we British say, “the loo.”

46 issue N o . 10

“Batman sucks”

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My guess is that you're single anyway.

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THE VOICE BOX 

× Editor-in-Chief

the capilano courier

Jordan Potter is a creative writing grad from Capilano who now finds himself as the “community manager at one for those Yaletown software companies with free beer and office dogs.” When not dancing in his apartment to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” or gripped at the edge of his couch during Michael Clayton, Jordan tends to enjoy Thai food, and plays “all of the sports” as well as a multitude of video games. But Jordan is more known, especially here at the Courier office, as a charming young man with a fond love of free t-shirts and a knack of witty humour. “Up until last year I thought that spin class was somewhere you made pottery, like they do in Ghost,” he jokes. But he’s also quite busy, lately spending his time “successfully raising two beautiful, bright iPads.” Jordan is also quick to mention his luck. “You should probably know that I’ve never had a paper cut,” he says. For those of you interested in Jordan’s musings, check out his “horribly neglected horrible blog” at Jordanpotter.com and his Twitter @jordan_potter.

For the better part of the last five years, I’ve been single. It used to be something that caused me a lot of emotional turmoil. I guess I attribute a lot of my anxiousness surrounding my single status to society constantly telling all of us that the natural thing to do in life is to couple up, stay together, and grow old together. I often look to my grandparents as an example, who were married over 50 years, before my grandfather passed away. They raised six children together, would still go on dates into their 70s, and were just as in love the day he died as they were on their wedding day. But, as many of you know and have experienced first hand, this is not as prevalent today. I was with the same boyfriend (and later, fiancé) for five years, beginning one week after moving to Vancouver when I was just 19 years old. “This is perfect,” I used to think. “I can’t believe I found the one on my first try.” But the ticking clock got the better of the situation, and within the year of our engagement, a big messy break-up ensued. That first year of mid-20s single life was important for me. I reconnected with old friends I’d fallen out of touch with, and made new ones. I have gone traveling, gone back to school, and pursued creative endeavors, none of which I likely would have had the opportunity to experience if I’d just gotten married and called it a day. The shift of independence was probably the greatest thing to happen to me. After experiencing both sides, I am able to live my life the way I want, aware of what being single and being coupled are both like. I used to write a dating column for this exact publication. As someone who had entered a full-formed relationship before I’d even properly gone on a date, I left that relationship with no idea of what the world of dating really entailed. I’ve had good and bad experiences, flown across the continent to be with someone, but ultimately found myself as a single person. And you know, I’m actually quite okay with that. I like being single most of the time. Sure, there are moments where I wish I had a warm body to wake up to or someone to cheer me up on shitty days. Admittedly, in those early times of dating, my lack of experience was so present that I likely ended up scaring some decent individuals away given my intensity in those situations. But I didn’t know better, and was going through the motions that most people make in their early 20s. How was I supposed to know that it wasn’t proper etiquette to start choosing future children’s names together on the first date? But I digress. At this point, I’m so comfortable being on my own that being single seems like the better option. I get into too much trouble when I start dealing in the world of “love.” I prefer to roll home after a long night out without the obligation of telling someone where I am. I have no time for jealousy – hanging out with a couple co-workers after a long day at the office comes naturally to me. When I wasn’t single, that was just a gateway into a repeated long-winded inquisition. How tedious! I live life on my own schedule, and I’m happy this way. Between obligations of school and jobs, my off time should be just that, the time that I can do

By JJ Brewis

12-11-16 8:17 PM

NEWS

News Editor ×

Lindsay Howe × n e w s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

ORGANS FOR SALE Controversial study suggests financial compensation for donors Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer

Would a financial incentive make you more likely to donate an organ? A recent study conducted by the Libin Cardiovascular Institute of Alberta and the University of Calgary says yes – noting that almost half of Canadians surveyed approve of the idea, despite the fact that the sale of organs is illegal in Canada. The study – formally titled Attitudes Towards Strategies to Increase Organ Donation: Views of the General Public and Health Professionals, employed a web survey directed at the general public, health professionals and those affected by kidney disease. “This study came about from a discussion on how to increase the pool of potential donors. In other words, how to get more people to step forward to donate, living or deceased,” Lianne Barnieh, a researcher for the Liben Institute, says. “To do this, we did a survey and enlisted the help of a survey firm for the general public, and professional groups for those working in the area of kidney disease, and finally the Kidney Foundation of Canada to reach out to their members and supporters. We found that, on the whole, people found financial incentives for donation acceptable.” Barnieh says that there are over 3,000 people waiting for a kidney transplant in Canada, and that 82 people died while waiting for one in 2010. The study hopes to encourage methods of increasing donation that will help speed up the process of transplantation. “Being on dialysis, though life-extending, has a poorer quality of life compared with transplantation,” she continues. “As we only need one kidney to live, if we can find a way for people to consider giving their second kidney to a family member or friend suffering from kidney disease, we can reduce the waiting list.” While the study itself did not examine ethical

topics relating to financial incentives for organ donors, they did include detailed data about public acceptance of various approaches to the subject. “ T h e re we re va r y i n g l e ve l s o f acceptability, depending on the incentive, between the three groups: Almost half the public found cash payment to living donors acceptable, whereas only 14 per cent of health professionals found this acceptable. The most acceptable incentives were reimbursement of funeral expenses for deceased donors and tax breaks for living donors,” says Barnieh. “All of these financial incentives would be given out by a government organization. We did not, and would not, consider a system where money [would] be exchanged between individuals. For example, offering a tax break to donors would be one financial incentive that could be, and would be, treated like other donations individuals make that can be written off on their tax return.” The reasoning behind the projected increase of donations associated with a cash incentive is simple: People are often motivated by money. “ When looking at human behavior, there is no one thing that motivates people,” says Barnieh. “Though some people give from the ‘goodness of their heart,’ others may need more to motivate them to donate. We are hoping that by offering financial incentives, we appeal to this other group of people.” Barnieh dismisses the concern that low-income citizens may be exploited by the sway of a financial incentive. “Firstly, the assumption that people with

lower-income are only motivated by money for a given act is a very narrow view,” she explains. “Secondly, though $10,000 can be a large incentive, it is not sufficient to completely change someone’s financial situation. In our study, when examining the results by household income, we did not find any evidence to suggest that those with lower household income would be more willing to consider donating than those with higher household income.” Still, the ethics behind the study have come under fire – though the ethical implications behind offering financial incentives to organ donors was never a focus on the study. “The ethics of offering money, or of other strategies, has been debated and continues to be debated elsewhere,” Barnieh says. “Before going further on this topic, we just wanted to know how Canadians felt about it.”

×× Peter Pawloski

In an article for CTV, Arthur Schafer of the University of Manitoba’s Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics explained the ethical difficulties in offering financial compensation for organ donors. “Frankly, I think it would be bordering on obscene to offer financial compensation to the mother whose child has just died,” he said, suggesting that the diverse circumstances surrounding organ donations aren’t conducive to a standardized program like offering financial compensation. It’s unclear what the next step will be for both researchers and policy makers involved in organ donations. Barnieh says that the study conducted by the Libin Institute is a good start. “Now that we know Canadians find many financial incentives acceptable, we can find a way to move forward.”

×× peter pawlowski

free textbooks for some

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 10

B.C. Government to make some university textbooks avaiable online

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Veronika Bondarenko × The Ubyssey (UBC)

VANCOUVER (CUP) – The B.C. government wants to offer online textbooks for free to university students, but there’s still a fair bit of homework to do before the project becomes a reality. The B.C. Ministr y of Advanced Education plans to commission textbook authors or developers to put together online textbooks for popular undergraduate courses. As a condition of funding, they’ll be available through a Creative Commons license that makes them free for anyone to use, reuse and revise. A non-profit called BCcampus, acting as an agent of the government, will store the textbooks online. The ministry has promised to offer free

online textbooks for 40 of the most popular post-secondary courses in the province, but it’s up to professors to decide what textbooks are assigned within specific courses. If all goes according to plan, some of the books will be available by Sept. 2013. After looking at data from B.C. schools and similar projects in Washington and California, the ministry will decide which courses will get free books. They expect to commission books for first-year courses like English, psychology and calculus. The BCcampus organization, a 10-yearold publicly funded group, exists to create online shared services and resources for universities and colleges in B.C. The CUPE 116 support and service staff union at UBC, currently on strike, has rallied against any “shared services” plans promoted by the province, arguing that they may result in lost jobs. The government argues that the free textbooks will save over 200,000 students hundreds of

dollars per year, but Debbie Harvie, managing director of the UBC Bookstore, said she’ll wait and see whether this plan will cut into bookstore sales. “We don’t yet know the effect of this announcement, except to say that there are not a lot of ‘free’ materials available at this point,” says Harvie. “I am waiting to hear more specifics so that I can understand how this could affect the Bookstore. In the meantime, we are, of course, selling e-textbooks when we can get them, as well as new [and] used [textbooks], custom course packs and renting books too.” Kiran Mahal, AMS vice-president of academic and university affairs, agreed that free access to online textbooks would help make post-secondary education cheaper. “Different institutions, and even different professors within the same institution, use different textbooks for courses that cover the same broad subject matter,” says Mahal. “The

exact textbook choice is up to the professors … This is why collaboration and coordination with post-secondary institutions is essential to the success of this system.” Mahal also stresses that the quest to make higher education more affordable should not end at textbooks. “More needs to be done around funding of higher education in a more consistent and holistic way, from student loan reform to increasing the block grant provided to public institutions like UBC,” Mahal says.

12-11-16 8:17 PM

BOMBS AND DUDS Vancouver's transit system under review (and attack?) Charlie Black × Writer

The last few weeks have been incredibly busy for TransLink. The Metro Vancouver transportation authority responsible for SkyTrain and bus services from West Vancouver to Langley has been dealing with budget issues, service cuts, and security related disruptions, all in the short span of one month. A provincial audit of TransLink's budget was ordered in April of this year to find efficiencies and savings to cover the shortfalls in the company's projections. TransLink has been under pressure on all sides, from system users to provide more reliable service and expand to meet the growing needs of the population, and from the Mayor's Council and both B.C. and federal governments to find sources of income that do not raise taxes or fares. The audit found savings of $41 million a year in TransLink's budget, that in addition to $98 million in savings found via TransLink's internal examination. Fares will see a 12.5 per cent hike on Jan. 1, with both cash-box and prepaid fares going up significantly. In addition, the new Port Mann Bridge will open fully on Dec. 1, with tolling implemented by Dec. 8. The Golden Ears Bridge, the newest tolled Fraser River crossing, has not met expectations in generating tolling revenue, a long time concern of TransLink's. All these things considered, the company has been pouring money into development, initiating construction of new fare gates (operational in fall 2013) and performing wide-scale maintenance on the now 26-year-old infrastructure of the original Expo Line (Waterfront to New Westminster) and its subsequent expansions. With calls to be more efficient with its spending and a need to expand, TransLink is currently caught in a tug-of-war. In a move that is already seeing rippling effects, TransLink announced earlier this month that, starting Nov. 6th, SkyTrain frequencies would be reduced after 8 p.m. from Sunday to Thursday un-

til early 2014 to allow for track maintenance. After this time, the Millennium Line will only run from VCC-Clark to Columbia, forcing users to transfer at either Columbia or the Commercial-Broadway station crossroads. With TransLink informing users to allow for 10 to 15 minutes extra in their evening travels, the service cuts are already being felt. A Wiz Khalifa concert at Rogers Arena on Nov. 7 saw the SkyTrain packed right to the eastern terminus of King George station, unusual for a mid-week evening – but it is now expected to be the norm for the next 18 months. Brooke Myrfield, a first-year acting student at Capilano, finds this service reduction very discouraging. “It makes me feel unsafe that there will not be trains available ... I'll be waiting around at these stations late at night when who knows what could happen.” Amidst all the internal financial rearranging, TransLink has had to deal with more outside influences on its core mode of service. An improvised explosive device was found on the SkyTrain guideway on the afternoon of Nov. 2 on the eastbound approach to Gateway Station in Surrey. The discovery of the device, found not on, but between, the track led to a passenger evacuation and shutdown of service between Scott Road and Gateway stations, a crucial juncture to transit trips into and within Surrey. That night, Metrotown station was closed upon the discovery of a suspicious-looking PVC drainage pipe, later deemed not to be explosive in nature. Trains moved through the station without stopping, with bus bridges linking the three stations between Patterson and Royal Oak in Burnaby. Yet another device found on the mezzanine of New Westminster station's attached mall on the evening of Nov. 5 led to that station being closed for two hours, until police determined that the device was not explosive. “We are taking all precautions to assure the public that we take this so seriously, that they should feel safe on our system,” Transit Police spokesperson Anne Drennan said at a recent press conference, after the rash of mysterious

WHATS NEW WITH THE CSU? By Lindsay Howe, News Editor

discoveries. “The safety of the people who use transit are our number one priority.” Furthermore, Nov. 8 saw three SkyTrain windows shattered by projectiles thrown at an eastbound train coming into 29th Avenue. This incident was similar in nature to one only two days earlier in an area just to the west, between Commercial-Broadway and Nanaimo stations. Transit police were unable to apprehend the fleeing suspects. On top of these security concerns, Travis Thomson, a Capilano student in his second year of studies, notes a recent surge in bus-related accidents involving people around him. “The bus driver hit a car in front of it when it was trying to turn, and it basically caused a huge pileup behind the bus,” he says. While the recent security issues and hoaxes on SkyTrain have caught the public's attention, an informal survey showed that most people seem unfazed by the bomb scares or windowshattering, observing that the SkyTrain has always been a source of anxiety, by its very nature. Becky Davidson, a second-year student at BCIT and regular transit user explains, “My friends and I take the bus all the time. I think Translink does its due diligence to keep their vehicles safe, it’s the people using transit and causing these problems who are the concern.”

The Board of Directors for the Capilano Students’ Union last met on Nov.14. There were a number of noteworthy decisions made at the meeting. A group of students attended the meeting to talk to the board about the CSU taking a stance on the Enbridge pipeline, and support their “No Tankers” viewpoint. The students were told to submit an application for an official “No Tankers” club, which they did, and then provide a detailed report as to what exactly they are expecting from the CSU if they were to endorse this initiative. Environmental Issues Coordinator Desiree Wallace suggested alternatives to printing out the agendas for each of the board members. Using the overhead projector at meetings or everyone pulling up the agenda document on their laptop were both discussed as alternatives. As some board members feel the paper booklet is more convenient and beneficial to them, it will now be up to the specific board member if they wish to opt out of the paper agenda package. Board members Sean Stewart, Alyssa Lalani, and Dini Stamatopulos put forward their candidacy to be the official Welcome Back representative. The role of this position includes heading the organization of all Welcome Back events that will hosted by the CSU in the first week of January. After a vote from the board, Dini Stamatopulos won the title.

TransLink did not respond to the Courier’s interview requests as of press time.

These motions were also discussed: The Environmental Issues committee will be hosting an ivy pull, which consists of the groundskeeper and facilitator teaching students about ivy and how to remove it effectively and safely. Desiree Wallace requested a budget of $100 for meat and vegetarian chili, for participants after the event. The request was approved.

×× peter pawlowski

Queer Students’ Liaison Brooklyn Kemp requested funding to make two big purchases for the Queer Centre. She requested two new couches for the lounge, one in an “L” shape to accommodate the layout of the room better. The exact cost was unknown but with tax was said to be approximately $900. The request was approved.

GOING GREEN AT CAPILANO Upcoming open space forum provides a platform to talk change Lindsay Howe

46 issue N o . 10

The Environmental Alliance: Open Space Forum takes place Nov. 22 from 4 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. in LB195.

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Wallace explains that there is no time like the present to be engaging in these issues, with the immediacy of environmental concerns making them a reason for priority. “We have come to a point in human history where it is vital to generate a paradigm shift in our society and facilitate meaningful change. Personally, I believe that climate change and other various environmental issues are some of the most concerning aspects on this planet that need to be addressed now. This is why it is so important to have an Environmental Issues committee at Capilano. I am determined, compassionate, dedicated and well-equipped to really dig deep and address these problems, as I know a myriad of other Capilano community members are.” Wallace emphasizes that this event is not a members-only event for the committee and encourages all Capilano students, faculty and staff to come by and discuss their views and ideas to improve Capilano University’s environment health. Deep thinking, deep discussion, and free food and beverages will be provided at the event.

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common solution which integrates their individual passions. We make our best decisions when we make them together.” Wallace says the individuality of attendees’ personal environmental interests and concerns will dictate the course of the event, and adds that the individuality makes the event more approachable. “No advance preparation is required. No ‘talking heads,’” she says. “You/we make the agenda and only participate in the ideas and discussions in which you are interested. It is a high-energy, creative, passionate and fun leap of faith!” Wallace, an elected representative of the CSU, says her main objective is to create this alliance on the Capilano campus, and believes that our university has the potential to be a leader in environmental sustainability. Wallace comments, “I aspire to empower others to implement their own ideas and initiatives on campus … I want to empower other environmental leaders to implement their own ideas within our community and collectively transform Capilano to be a leading campus for sustainability and environmental justice [to] create a template that other universities can emulate.”

the capilano courier

× News Editor The new Capilano Students’ Union lounge will be put to good use as the CSU Environmental Issues committee uses it to hold an event titled Environmental Alliance: Open Space Forum. The goal of this event is aimed at creating a strong and united environmental alliance on campus. Although it is noted that many isolated environmental initiatives already exist on campus, the Environmental Issues committee believes that if they all come together and join forces they will be able to create an action plan for the university that will eliminate, overlap and hopefully gain more attention from the rest of the Capilano community. Capilano’s Environmental Issues committee is composed of people who share a common interest in all areas related to the environment, including those who are interested in sustainability and reducing their ecological footprint. The committee strives to incorporate environmentally conscious choices into the CSU, and to as many students on campus as possible. Last year, the committee arranged campaigns to create awareness about

sustainability and the environment. These campaigns included do-it-yourself bike maintenance with a mechanic, two clothing swaps, and a fundraiser to raise money for World Water Day. The Open Space Forum is yet another opportunity to spread awareness of on-campus environmental outreach. The event will be hosted by the CSU’s Environmental Issues Coordinator, Desiree Wallace, who elaborates on what type of opportunities will exist at the forum by explaining, “This event will give Capilano community members the opportunity to network with multi-stakeholders, administration, faculty, staff and students, who all share a mutual compassion towards our sacred environment and university.” As for what’s on the agenda for the forum, Wallace notes that it will be heavy on discussion and event attendees will identify what topic interests them the most, and break off into smaller groups of people with the same interests to establish a 2013 action plan. “What will be discussed at the forum is entirely up to those who participate: The idea of an Open Space Forum invites participants toward a shared

12-11-16 8:17 PM

Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

GALLERy

Jillian Aquino

BIDDING LESSONS I’m late. I’m catching my breath while simultaneously tip-toeing across the wooden floor of Maynard’s Auction House, cursing this morning’s decision to wear my loudest heels. Art auctions at Maynard’s Fine Art & Antiques occur every few weeks in Vancouver and tonight is Sale 151, the Contemporary & Canadian Art Auction. A section of Maynard’s has been cordoned off and lined with the auction lots, mostly paintings including modern abstract works by prolific West Coast artists Jack Shadbolt and Gordon Smith. The one that I’ve got my eye on, (not for me, rather more for curiosity’s sake) is an excellent Victor Vasarely called Kettes. Vasarely was an earlier adopter of Op-Art, visual art that uses optical illusions. His Kettes series consists of two wooden hexagons painted with geometric shapes, this one painted in yellow, reds, blues and greys. His piece in the auction also happens to be the last lot of the night – Lot 91. I have never been to an auction before, but I know how they should look and sound from what I’ve seen on TV and in the movies. The auctioneer should be unbelievably fast and entertaining with a mallet in hand, pitting the audience against each other and goading bidders into spending more money than they intended. The auctiongoers should arrive in black town cars wearing fur coats or bespoke suits, prepared to raise their paddles in a fierce competition during which millions of dollars are rapidly depleted from nearly bottomless bank accounts. A cough or a tug of one's ear is mistaken for a bid – chaos ensues! In reality, this auction turns out to be much

× Columnist

tamer. Perhaps because we are in Vancouver, and repeating the rising bids over and over while trying not London or New York, the atmosphere in the to keep the auction entertaining with observations room is relaxed. While I spot some suits, attire like introducing Allen Sapp’s Kids Are Happy as is mostly West Coast office casual - button up a “cute one.” While this works for a while, the shirts and jeans, not a fur coat in sight, and the auctioneer’s speedy voice moves so fast that it scene is not set in the posh, stuffy rooms seen in eventually becomes soothing and I find myself movies. One attendee in front of me is sprawled out drifting off and looking around the room. It seems some people are doing the with his arm resting on the same, perhaps waiting for metal folding chair beside their desired lots further him, rather than perched down the auction list as well. on the edge of his seat – I I watch as some pieces go unnotice later that he goes home sold and some others go for with two paintings, one much below their reserve – casually tucked under his at one point an Alastair Bell arm. The auctioneer stands woodcut goes for only elevated at a podium in the $150, well below its front of the room. To his estimate. Lot 74 by Jim right sits a gallery associate Gislason, called checking the online bids, Rommel Suite, an oil on and to his left sit four more mesh pinned on canvas, auction staff members nego“Kettes” by Victor Vasarely. Image estimated at $1500 only tiating with phone bidders. reprinted with permission by sells for $575. It strikes me The audience raises their Maynard's Fine Art & Antiques then that this is the place pieces of numbered paper for every bid they wish to make, as do the people you come to find a deal. For prospective art manning the online and phone bids. Though like collectors looking to start a collection, shelling in the movies bidding back and forth moves quick- out $150 seems manageable – equivalent maybe ly, but they seem more like little tiffs instead of all to a pair of fancy Nikes, or a 1.5 litre bottle of Veuve Cliquot, though still much less than a out brawls. “And 19 and 19 and 19 and 19 and do we have bottle of Dom Perignon. I feel a little glimmer of $2000 do we have $2000 and 19 and it doesn’t hope – could Kettes find itself on my wall tonight, take up much wall space and 20 thank you and perhaps over my IKEA futon or my Craigslist-sourced couch? 20 and 20 and 20 do we have $2100?” “And 20 and 20 and 20 and do we have 21 The auctioneer moves at breakneck speed,

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

it’s a very West Coast piece this one and $2100 thank you and do we have 22 do we have 22 do we have 22 and selling for $2100, fair warning – and sold for $2100.” By the time Lot 90 is sold, a Salvador Dali print estimated at $600-$800 which only sells for $450, I’m already envisioning myself explaining the Vaserely piece above my desk to my enthusiastic future guests,(“Why yes, he was a pioneer of Op-Art!”) and I’m on the edge of my seat. The auctioneer nods towards the Kettes displayed at the front of the room and then begins, “Final lot of the night – let’s open the bidding, shall we?” Silence and not one hand in the hair – no one bites and my heart skips a beat. The auctioneer lowers the price by a few hundred and then quickly, my hopes fade – an arm raises, a gallery associate listens intently on the phone then raises her arm to counter, they go back and forth and in mere minutes it is done, my piece sells for a low price, but one still out of my reach – $5000. As the auction-goers begin to file out I stop to take one last glance at the Kettes. I’m comforted by the fact that this is merely one Kettes in a series of 175, and so I do not bid it farewell – there is always the next auction. Jillian Aquino lives her life through a funnel in which everything around her is artful, from her grocery store purchases to the layout of her bookshelves. Jillian is fascinated with the contemporary world and the way humans interpret it. Especially if that way happens to be insightful and beautiful.

Yvette Yardanoff × Columnist

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THE SOUP IS OUT THERE

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The changing of seasons is a reason for most to be excited about holidays and fashion. But I get most excited about the culinary shifts that occur as the weather does. In Vancouver, the dreary rain season from November through March is all the more reason to get excited about one thing: soup. Soup is most definitely part of my daily life – hearty and warm, soothing the soul on the gloomiest of days. It’s particularly good this time of year though, as one pot can last several days, a time-saver that will pay off in the nearapproaching exam season. It's affordable and, with a mindful selection of ingredients, it can be loaded with nutrition. People often underestimate the nutritional content you can pack into a soup, probably looked over given the classical idea of soup as having a watery substance. If you're just learning to find your feet in the kitchen, soups are a great place to start. If you know how to make a great soup base, and you learn a few simple stock-making and soup-making techniques, homemade soup recipes can be quite simple.

STOCKING UP Most homemade soup recipes start with a quality stock or broth, such as chicken stock, fish stock or vegetarian stock. If you want to learn how to make great soup, this should be your starting point. Most stock ingredients are

generally inexpensive, such as celery, onions and garlic. It really doesn’t take much to do it yourself, but feel free to play around and add the odd red pepper, garlic or spices – the ingredient and flavour combinations are endless. For those of us who don't have the time to simmer stock for hours on the stovetop, there is an alternative. It must be said that nothing can replace the taste of a homemade stock. The process of making stock yields depth and richness, which I have yet to find in a Tetra Pak. In a pinch, you can pick up some organic bouillon cubes at the smaller markets. You'll find vegetable, chicken, mushroom, beef and a few others, none of which contain MSG. These handy little cubes are affordable, have a long shelf life, and flavour-wise, certainly a far cry from Knorr or the dreaded Oxo cubes our grandparents had lying around. If you're looking for the authentic flavour of homemade stock, but don't have the time to cook off your own, you can simply buy it. The Stock Market on Granville Island, Quince on West 3rd Ave., Whole Foods and Meinhardt's on South Granville St. all sell wonderful soup stocks made in-house. They do come at a higher cost than the generic ones, but they’re also going to add a lot more flavour to your soup in the long run. With so many soup recipes out there, it might be difficult to decide where to start. There is something to be said about pre-planning a specific soup, but often I find myself more

spontaneously making one, rather than pre-planning with a trip to the store as part of the process. I like to take a look in my fridge to see what needs to be cooked off. If that Swiss chard only has two days shelf life remaining, it's going in the soup. When considering a soup with beans, just remember to allow for soaking and cooking time. Lentils are great and do not require soaking. There are always canned beans if you choose, but frankly, I don't enjoy the overly soft texture of biting into a canned bean. Instead, I like a little resistance in my beans: Vive la Résistance!

SOUP FOR THE GROUP The versatility of soup makes it easy to feed a number of people with varying dietary restrictions. When feeding friends and family, I like to make a big pot of vegan soup. Starting with a vegan base allows me to tailor individual bowls to each guest's liking or requirements. For example, when I make a vegan bean and greens soup, one guest might wish to add cheese to their bowl adding another layer of nutritional value and texture to this dish. I've also been known to grill chicken breasts on the side. My meat-eating guests can enjoy seasoned cubed chicken in their bean and greens soup. Any left over chicken can be stored for a few days in your fridge and used in salads or sandwiches, creating a completely different and delicious meal.

I portion out and freeze any left over soup within two days of its cook date, thus ensuring freshness at the time of thaw. I can't count the number of times I have offered up some soup to a visiting friend. It's important to get together and enjoy a meal with people you care about. It's too easy to eat a meal in front of our laptops, giving little thought to what we just consumed. Now that much cooler weather has arrived, you don't need a better reason to bond over a bowl of soup. The next time you have someone over, offer up a bowl or two. It's a nice way to share yourself, while staying on budget. When you make your own soup you are truly able to ensure you are eating a balanced meal. I like to pack my soups with nutrients, attempting to obtain as many daily nutritional requirements as possible. This might not mean much to you right now, but one day, if your body just stops agreeing with whatever you have or have not been putting into it, just remember, you are in a position to make great changes in your self-care. Yvette Yardanoff has worked in kitchens since her youth and traveled the world enough to know basically everything there is to know about food. From choosing unique ingredients to sitting down with a carefully prepared meal, Yvette believes the entire process is integral to one's happiness.

12-11-16 8:17 PM

Tales of the Toxically Single

Anna L. Beedes × Columnist

Miss Gassy The alarm on my phone scared me awake with such force that I farted. I’m still not sure if it was the fart or the alarm that actually woke me up, but regardless the combination worked, and I awoke to a foul smell in my nose. It wasn’t until I heard the giggle from behind me that I realized I wasn’t alone, and in fact had just farted myself awake on a boy’s leg. As I clung to the blankets, I contemplated ducking my head under the covers to hide from the shame, but knowing that I had just created an unintentional Dutch oven, I reconsidered. I could not think of an elegant way out of the situation, and my head was spinning in pain from both alcohol and mortification. The alarm was still blaring, telling me that it was 6 a.m. on a Wednesday, meaning I had to get dressed, take the train across town to my place on the Danforth, shower off the alcohol/one-night-stand odor, and then take another train back to the opposite end of Toronto for work at 9:30 a.m. All of this on four hours of sleep and a heaping dose of morning embarrassment – it was starting out as a terrible, horrible, no good day. Frantically, I started pressing buttons on my phone, trying to get it to stop screaming at me. Some combination of keys finally worked, and it stopped its obscene noise, giving my undivided attention to the fact that I had, indeed, farted on Keegan Gravel. I hoped he would spare me the embarrassment so that we could both just move along with our lives. No need to add insult to injury and question me about my fart alarm.

“What a way to wake up,” he said, trying to me up at six in the morning with a hangover and suppress his laughter. “Do you normally fart flatulence. Let’s never do this again.” So I took the hint, and left the bed, still clinging to the sheets yourself awake?” as my last shreds of dignity. I got dressed, “Only on special occasions,” I mused, my gave him a genial goodbye kiss, face becoming increasingly red. and left his place to catch “Consider yourself lucky.” the King streetcar back Charm was my only to the Danforth. solution. Usually As I huddled I can rely on my on the back of charm to get me the streetcar, I another drink still couldn’t at the bar, or to overcome the convince my edishame of that tor that I need morning. I another two wanted to apdays past deadpear confident, line because I was funny, and sexy sick, when really it to this guy – not was a hangover. But bloated, smelly, to get me out of this and loud. And situation was a stretch. while farts can be I thought about funny at times, they can blaming it on him. That ×× Katie So also be a plague on budding he was the one that farted and awoke me with his potent vibrations, or that relationships (or in my case, budding one-nighthe brought a whoopee cushion to bed with stands), especially for the girl. I don’t know when him to make a fool of me in the morning. But this urban myth about girls not needing to fart that lie would probably work as well as the originated, but it still exists. Personally, I am whoopee cushion my overweight uncle Ed sat on at horribly embarrassed when this happens to me, Thanksgiving once, which exploded beneath him. even though I know that it’s a natural body function, and is essential to do sometimes. “Well, thanks for the wake up,” he continued. Once, on a road trip with a guy I liked, I It was easy to spot this line as a brush off and just a polite way of saying, “Thank you for waking was so ashamed to fart that I held it in for three

LOCKED GROOVE

entire days and ended up in the emergency room because of it. The doctor tapped my stomach once, glared at me with a “why are you wasting my time” kind of look, and asked: “When was your last bowel movement? I think you just need to poo.” This is an issue that I still deal with. I never saw beautiful, beautiful Keegan Gravel again, simply out of sheer embarrassment. To add to my agony of that morning, I noticed something equally mortifying on my ride back home. As I pulled out my Blackberry to play an enthralling game of Brick Breaker, I noticed that I had accidentally made a phone call while trying to get my phone to shut up. Naturally, I had pocket-dialed my ex back in small-town Smithers, B.C. It was three in the morning in Smithers when I had called him, and my phone had unfortunately told me that the call lasted exactly four minutes and 37 seconds. This either meant that he had picked up and listened to me get out of bed with a one-night-stand after farting on him, or that his voicemail recorded the entire scenario. I almost hoped for the first, so that way he couldn’t play the message to his friends over rum and cokes: “Did you hear that?” he would say to his drunken pals. “This is why it never worked out between us. I couldn’t even get a good night’s sleep next to her.” Anna L. Beedes was born with a heart of gold, which is now nestled in a tree of terrible and awkward eggs, also known as the male population. She examines the intricacies within the world of sex and love, hoping to find answers to some of her heart and her loins’ greatest queries.

Jason Motz × Columnist

LET’S (JUST) TALK ABOUT MUSIC fodder for gossipy copy. The newsworthy merits of her story were blurred. That Marshall is one of the best songwriters on the block, indeed, one of the brightest talents to emerge from the alternative scene, was rarely mentioned as story after story systematically charted her every public mis-step. She was not portrayed as the genius behind Sun, but as a damaged woman with a collapsing career. Too many music writers need to be reminded that their job is to write about the music, not the personalities, the libidos, or the dark, private affairs of the artists. To reduce artists in these ways devalues art and our very culture to a harmful extreme. So let’s go back and examine the artists through the merits of their creative output that put them on our radar in the first place. Jason Motz cannot have a conversation without speaking about music. The bands he listens to in a day make up the mood he's in. Let's hope we've caught him on a Fleetwood Mac day, not in one of his Joy Division moods.

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that did not mention his sexuality, I did not see it.) The relevance of his sexuality to his music is minimal; no one writing about Bruce Springsteen bothers to mention his heterosexuality, or how that impacts his songwriting and craft. Apart from sexuality, the music media has shown an ever-increasing appetite for anyone they perceive to be weak. While record producers like Simon Cowell scour the world for the next Amy Winehouse, music writers are looking for their next Amy too, and they might just have one in Cat Power. Cat Power is Chan Marshall, arguably the most dysfunctional artist of our time. For Marshall, the year began promisingly with the release of her triumphant ninth album Sun. When the first positive wave of reviews crested, the media's mood went from celebratory to ravenous. Marshall's well-documented past is fraught with substance abuse and health issues, the allure of which is all too tempting to today’s music writers. When Marshall’s troubles mounted, her North American tour was plauged with delays, meltdowns and glitches, both technical and Chanmade. Eventually, financial concerns and overall poor health caused Marshall to cancel what should have been a victory lap throughout Europe. Given her history, this is a tragic and unfortunate recurrence of problems for the talented and fragile Marshall. The media lapped it up. I was reminded of the final years in Winehouse’s life and the media's apparent glee in her slow fall from grace. From Spinner to Pitchfork, Stereogum to NPR, news of Cat Power's all-too-human frailties became

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summer, Ocean, a member of the notoriously heterosexual Odd Future hip-hop collective, posted a note on his Tumblr page, a lovelorn letter about his first love, a male. Ocean has not explicitly commented on his sexual orientation specifically, but the fact that Ocean became the first male in the hip-hop world to reveal himself as someone who has a homosexual past reveals how much hip-hop has evolved since the Beastie Boys attempted to use a homophobic slur in an album title. But artists should be judged by their art and their art alone. Everything else is puffery. True, Ocean braved commercial isolation and public scrutiny with his coming out. And on the basis of the reviews that followed the album, this was a concern for many reviewers. But are such social considerations even the purview of a music writer? Couldn't Ocean be a star simply on the basis of his songs? If the music's got soul, then nothing else should matter to the writer. The pointless distillation of an artist down to their sexuality, ethnicity or religion has about as much to do with artistic merit as the thickness of their ear lobes. That there was as much, if not more, talk about Ocean's sexuality than his suave grooves is hardly a victory the LGBTQ community can be proud of since it means that the overall discourse on art is further reduced to which gender certain celebrities fancy. And that concerns all communities. Ocean is a man of enormous musical talent, whose accomplishments on record this year were devalued by the vast lot of music writers the world over. (If there is a review or article about Ocean

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It's a funny thing, the music press, that band of cultural critics and ideologues. In pre-Internet days, the music media could make or break an artist with a single review. Even the lack of a review or cursory acknowledgment could say enough to impact a career. Today, the music media is a whole other story: The group of columnists, bloggers and freelancers fight for the ever-dwindling attention span of an over-stimulated consumer base. As a result, who gets attention is more selective than ever before. Often times, the musical merits of an artist is the secondary basis for the attention. The need for a sellable angle dominates the critical impulse, and the music itself has become an afterthought. Two names that have recently demonstrated the changing nature of music journalism’s effects are Cat Power and Frank Ocean. What do a semi-functional songstress and a sensitive “indie” R&B singer have in common? The reviews and overall media surrounding both artists this year were slanted towards their individual personal drama, rather than their brilliant music. While this might seem like the least newsworthy headline of recent years, it illustrates the decline in the overall analysis of our musical culture. Cogent analysis of new music has disappeared, and in its place, a TMZ-level of muckraking has taken over. Frank Ocean's Channel Orange was the year’s most startling debut. Not only is Channel Orange the most evocative hybrid of R&B and hip-hop not to be released under the name Kanye West, but it is also the most urbane and fluid collection of grooves of the past decade. “Pyramids” alone puts Ocean's nearest challengers to shame. This

12-11-16 8:17 PM

Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

HE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE

Giles Roy × Columnist

YOU DAMN KIDS AND YOUR INTERNET This past Tuesday in the Courier office, a website was taking its sweet time to load. It was YouTube, or Facebook, or Tumblr, or some other service that’s absolutely vital to the production of a student newspaper. I don’t remember. Whatever it was, it wasn't working, and we were frustrated. It also happened to be raining that day: “Does the Internet go slower when it rains? Is that a thing?” I asked (that’s how I talk). “No,” said someone else, and I felt dumb. Well, guess what? I have since looked it up, and can confirm with scientific certainty that it is, in fact, a thing. The Internet does go slower when it rains. Why? Because at some point, the signal that travels from your computer to fetch information from whatever website you’re visiting has to travel to a satellite. Like, a space satellite! The signal thusly has to penetrate heavy-duty storm clouds and while it doesn’t get scrambled, per se, it does get slightly “lost” on the way. It’s a complex process, even if it only takes a matter of a few extra seconds. Of course, there’s the added possibility that more people are using the Internet during bad weather, simply causing signal traffic jams, but no Internet Service Provider has ever acknowledged such an issue. So when you’re sitting around on a rainy Saturday trying to watch 90210 on Netflix (that’s a thing, too) and it’s not loading, relax. It’s not necessarily because everyone else in your neighbourhood is also watching 90210 on Netflix. It’s because some invisible stuff was

most regions on Earth have their own “portions” bouncing around in the sky. At any rate, this minor experience caused me of the Internet that can be reached without a to have a personal realization: I don’t understand signal travelling anywhere near the United States, how the Internet works. I don’t know shit about where ARPANET is based. So there are still physical the Internet. And you know what? I’m willing to servers in warehouses in every corner of the globe, bet that you don’t know shit about the Internet sure, but we’ve become decreasingly reliant on either. Here we are, a couple of 21st them. Moreover, developcentury Joes, taking a comers have targeted total plete marvel of tech“wirelessness” nology for granted, as an ultimate every day of our goal and made a worthless lives. So progressive beeline let’s fix that. for it ever since The most comit was deemed posmon joke about sible – a process that the Internet could very well render is that it's “a physical cables obseries of tubes.” solete within our lifeI wish it was! My time. This is obvious to job would be easier us, of course, because how and I'd be able to else would we be able to acget back to this 90210 cess Instagram from our phones, marathon. Alas, a more acbut let’s really ponder it for a mocurate descriptor would be “an ×× dave Mcansh ment. That same information transfer that’s invincible mass of nothing.” “Nothing,” because we’re reaching an age in slowed down by storm clouds is genuinely which hardly any physically tangible technology traveling through thin air. What the fuck! I don’t is involved in online connectivity. The Internet’s want to too closely mimic the sentiment of a early days more heavily relied on something called certain posse of insane clowns, but that’s ARPANET, a series of computers that was (and borderline miraculous. And this adds to the whole thing’s theoretically remains) a sort of central “hub” for the whole web. But rapid expansion (both “invincibility.” I don’t mean that in a “Grandpa, geographical and technological) has meant that don’t fight the future” sort of way, either. I mean

RATES OF CONVERSION Samantha Thompson

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× Copy Editor

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Rejection is never easy. My first experience with it came at the relatively young age of 13. My high school had announced a Valentine’s Day dance (the worst) and I decided to ask my new friend Derek if he wanted to go with me. I tried to make it as subtle as possible, casually asking on the way to band class (we were band geeks together, sigh). “No, let's not,” he replied. I was crushed, but feigning nonchalance, brushed it off. We moved on, and he became one of my closest friends for the next five years. Then in grade 12, a few weeks before graduation, he asked if I would go to Bible study with him. Now, what separated Derek from the rest of the rest of our teenage atheist friend group was his devout Christianity. For the most part, religion had stayed out of our conversations, but now here he was asking me outright. He said something about caring about me, and wanting to save me from ending up in Hell. His intentions seemed well-meaning enough. One thing about me that I have trouble with is saying no. So off I went to Bible study. I sat there and listened to them read passages describing stories I don’t believe to be true, and then I pretended to pray. It was a strange experience. In my family, we had only gone to church for special occasions – Christmas eve, baptisms for our Christian friends’ children – this was a completely new experi-

that people have, for whatever reason, tried to silence its digital claw and failed. Hacking, like what online group Anonymous does for both sport and occasional justice, is the most common form of damage sustained to the Net’s infrastructure – these exercises target a specific Domain Name Server and usually end up in certain websites losing service for a few hours. But real, long lasting, doomsday-style damage is far less feasible, because it would require not only an impossibly well-orchestrated takedown of ARPANET, but every regional equivalent on Earth, and every space-bound satellite as well. Not that this concerns anyone reading this column. Because if you intended to take down the Internet (and possibly cause a riotous apocalypse in the process), you’d have to be both the world’s biggest nerd and the world’s biggest asshole. So that’s something, right? The web, in all its vital glory, is safe. You have a veritably infinite amount of information practically flowing to and from your fingertips at all times, and from here on out, you always will. You should celebrate, accordingly, by uploading hundreds of photos of your dumbass cat. Giles Roy is trying his best to put modern scientific developments into laymen’s terms for you, the non-science-care-about-er. This makes sense because Giles is about as “lay” as it gets. If you’re a real scientist, cringing at every sentence in this column, he’s dreadfully sorry.

× staff editorial ×

ence. I felt out of place, as if I had the guy who had rejected me five years ago now infiltrated a secret meeting and it would only be so wanted to be with me (looking back I realize now long before I was ousted as a non-believer. I bowed he was just horny, but it's still pretty satisfying). my head like I thought I was supposed to, hands Still, I wasn’t sure what the hell had just happened. Feeling pretty confused about everything, I clasped together, and started to think. “Dear God, hi.” I began. And then met up with a friend for coffee to try to figure out what to do (hilariously, that friend is honestly didn't know where now the guy I have been dating for to go from there. I thought the last three years). We had a long about all the times I had conversation and decided that I just “prayed” before – mostly as a needed to talk to Derek and figure last-resort when my out what exactly was going on. family was going through He picked me up the next night some sort of crisis. But then I to take me to a Monopoly party at re m e m b e re d why I another friend’s house. He spent stopped: I found it so the night with his hand on my much more satisfying to leg, which to be honest wasn't the write through my feelings greatest feeling in the world. in my journal, a habit I’ve ×× Stefan Tosheff Back in his car we started carried through to this day. In the car on the way home, Derek asked me making out again, and I realized how what I thought. Lying (a sin), I told him that it bad it was. I don't know if you've ever was really cool. “Great,” he said excitedly, “you can experienced someone try ing to eat your face, but that's basically what this felt like. come next week too!” And I did. For three more weeks I dedicated a Deciding I'd had enough, I got ready to leave the couple of hours on a Thursday night to hanging car – but he stopped me. “Sam,” he said, “I think out with people who didn't have the same belief we need to talk about this.” Readying myself for a serious conversation system as me. It was a lesson in humility. Then on the fourth night, he stopped the car in which I let him down as gently as possible, on the side of the road outside my house, leaned I nodded. “I really, really like you,” he said. “I have for over, and kissed me. I was startled, but I kissed him back. That was all the confirmation he needed, be- a while. But the truth is, you're not Christian enough.” cause soon we were full-on making out. I looked up in surprise. Was this actually I got out of the car feeling terribly perplexed. Of course, there was an inkling of satisfaction – happening? He was beating me to the punch. He

was getting the chance to reject me again. And all because I wasn't Christian enough? “Okay,” was all I replied. “But, you won't tell anyone about this will you?” And I didn’t, for months. Again, I demonstrated my innate inability to say no, even though saying no would’ve been better for my personal health. I was hurting, but for some reason I kept his secret, and remained faithful to him. Once I began telling my friends what had happened though, things got a little easier because I finally began to heal. There’s nothing worse than being told there is something wrong with you. You are made to feel so insanely small, but for some reason it’s a hundred times worse when it’s something you can’t change about yourself – which is pretty awful, because we really shouldn’t be surrounding ourselves with people who have made it their life goal to change us into the person they want us to become. We need to make sure we have people who will listen during the bad times, have fun during the good times, and just accept you as you are, all of the time. Anyone who can’t do that, friend, lover or otherwise, isn’t worth your time. So no, I wasn’t Christian enough. I didn’t connect with God. Maybe one day I will find a religion that works for me, but for now I don’t need one. I’m happy. I still managed to connect with a man who loves me the way I am, keep friends who really care about me, and laugh at this distant memory of the guy who let religion get in the way of what he really wanted. Best of all, I got to keep being me.

12-11-16 8:17 PM

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arts

arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

THROUGH A MAILBOX, TANGIBLY Vancouver event recalls the lost art of letter writing Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer Receiving a letter with actual handwriting has become somewhat of a rarity. Finding something personalized within the envelope is rarer still. The adoption of electronic and digital media has been so enthusiastic that typewriters, stationery and the art of writing by hand have been all but relegated to antiquity. Even print media itself is facing its potential demise in the wake of the advent of the digital reading technology, heralded by e-readers and e-books. While many praise the possibilities that are presented by the rapid evolution of technology, some are making an effort to maintain the experiences that have largely been lost. The Regional Assembly of Text – a little stationery shop on Main St. in Vancouver – hosts a letter-writing club that has served as a bastion of a more personal form of communication in the era of e-mail. “When we opened our store in the summer of 2005, we wanted to host a free monthly event to benefit the community,” says Brandy Fedoruk, co-founder, partial president and “answerer of telephone” of the Assembly of Text. “Letter writing seemed like a natural fit with our stationary store, and it helped that we both love sending and receiving mail.” The letter-writing event is held on the first

Thursday of every month. Attendees are welcome event flourish,” says Fedoruk. “It seems like to use the Assembly of Text’s selection of antique people are genuinely excited about bringing back typewriters to compose their correspondences, in the thoughtful gesture of the hand-written letter.” In an article for Newsweek, writer an intimate and welcoming environment. “We put all our working typewriters on Malcolm Jones explores what it is that’s so special about hand-written one long table correspondence, and what and provide makes people miss it. paper and “There is e-mail, envelopes and certainly, and texting, but tea and cookthis is communication ies to those that is for the most part wanting to write here today and deleted letters,” Fedoruk tomorrow … the most explains. She common complaint notes that of our time is that we the popularare overwhelmed by ity of the event information, unmediated often exceeds and unstoppable,” Jones the s t o r e’s ×× Mariko Whitely wrote. “Maybe we miss capacity. “There are usually at least 30 people, more than we have letters at least a little because we miss the world, the typewriters for – but they are a pleasant, patient blessedly – to our eye at least – crowd and sometimes start by drafting their uncomplicated world where letters were letter by hand, or decorating their envelopes while commonplace by necessity.” Using Abraham Lincoln as an example, Jones waiting for a typewriter.” Somewhat surprisingly, the popularity of the explained how hand-written correspondence event has actually risen in the years following the allows for a deep look into the personality introduction of Facebook – which, in addition of the author. “Lincoln the letter writer was less shackled by to e-mail, has become the standard for keeping thoughts of how history would read his words. in touch. “Over the past seven years, we have seen this He loosened the reins on his humour, his anger

and his melancholy. He was, in a word, human,” Jones continued. He asserts that the more a person becomes a prolific letter writer, the more proficient they become at truly expressing themselves. “The more relaxed a writer becomes, the more at ease he or she is in the act of writing and the more able to fully express thought and emotion. Writing a lot of letters will not necessarily turn you into Lincoln or Shakespeare, but if you do it enough, you begin to put your essential self on the paper, whether you mean to or not. No other form of communication yet invented seems to encourage or support that revelatory intimacy.” Fedoruk, who agrees that hand-writing letters offers a more personal experience – as opposed to the relatively transitory nature of digital communications – echoes the notion of intimacy suggested by Jones. “Compared to the other ways in which we communicate on a daily basis, letter writing has become far more thoughtful and intimate,” Fedoruk says. “Taking the time to sit down, take out a piece of paper, write something by hand and put it in the mail takes a great deal of thought and effort these days. The letter has become a rare, cherished object.” Learn more about the Regional Assembly of Text’s letter writing club at Assemblyoftext.com, or visit the store at 3934 Main St.

OUR FRIEND ROSS Jazz Studies faculty bands together to help friend and fellow instructor Andy Rice

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 10

× Writer

Dozens of Vancouver jazz musicians will come together to honour one of their own later this month at a benefit concert in support of renowned Canadian pianist and saxophonist Ross Taggart. A faculty member of Capilano University’s jazz studies program since 1998, Taggart is currently on sabbatical as he battles renal cancer. Many of his colleagues, including a number of fellow instructors, will take to the stage to raise funds to assist him in his recovery. Students past and present will also be there to lend their support, as audience members that evening. One such student is Jonathan Tobin. The second-year piano major studied with Taggart last year and credits him as a pivotal figure in his musical development. “I definitely wouldn't have advanced forward musically as much last year if it wasn't for his inspiration,” says Tobin. “Ross’ personality and just his attitude and his positivity really made a big impression on me. Having a teacher that was so warm and generous and encouraging was a great thing, especially because it was my first year.” “He doesn’t act like some towering musical god,” adds Tobin. “He’s very positive and he makes you feel like one day you can be as good as him. I know I was closer to him than a lot of students were but I think the same respect and admiration he treated me with, he treats all his students with.” Taggart seems to carry those traits with him wherever he goes. His peers have come to feel that same sense of generosity and respect, including

friend and fellow Capilano University instructor Bill Coon. “His generosity as a musician is like his generosity as a human being,” says Coon. “It’s the same thing. It’s part of the same inner core or whatever it is, that part of him where it springs from. That generosity comes out of him both on and off the bandstand.” Since first meeting and playing together in 1995, in Taggart’s hometown of Victoria, the two have shared the bandstand countless times. Whether playing “pick-up gigs” together with out-of-town musicians or collaborating on their own projects and recordings, they have frequently crossed paths as both musicians and friends. “When you play with Ross, you’re connected to the real deal,” says Coon. “He’s really an authentic jazz player. There’s a real depth to his playing and to him as a beau-

tiful guy. He’s a great friend to so many people.” “With his talent, his knowledge of the history of music, the way he encourages people and the way he presents himself, Ross is a jazz musician of the highest integrity,” Coon continues. “And I think when you’re performing jazz with him you really get the sense, or I’ve always gotten the sense, that you are really supported.” This time, however, it’s Taggart who needs support. Since a formal announcement was made at the end of October regarding his condition and the upcoming benefit concert, word of the show has travelled fast. The outpouring of kind words and positive energy is apparent on Facebook and on local jazz forums where Taggart’s students, friends and fellow musicians have left messages of encouragement for a man they all hold in such high regard. Others have been working behind the scenes

in recent weeks to make the concert possible, organizing details via email and taking care of the necessary logistics to make the event a financial success. A host rhythm section will kick off the evening with an open jam starting at 6:30 p.m., followed by the event’s official program which will begin at 8 p.m. Six groups will lend their talents on stage over the course of the evening, all of which have Taggart as a founding member: the Ian McDougall Sextet, Hugh Fraser Quintet, Bill Coon Quartet, Ugetsu, Jill Townsend Big Band and Bob Murphy Duo with Campbell Ryga. Between the big band and the small ensembles, Capilano University’s jazz faculty will be out in full force. “It’s really great how many people want to be involved,” says Coon. “Everyone’s sort of taking care of a little part of it, and it’s amazing how quickly it actually came together.” For many of the musicians in attendance that evening, the event will not only be an opportunity to lend a hand to a good friend in need, but also a place to reconnect with each other. “It’s a chance for us all to send out a huge amount of positive energy to Ross,” says Coon. “In a way though, it’s also great to have this event not just for him, but for all of us.” The Benefit Concert for Ross Taggart will occur on November 26 at North Shore Credit Union Theatre for the Performing Arts. General admission tickets are $30 for adults and $20 for students, and can be purchased at the theatre box office or online at Tickets.capilanou.ca. Those who would like to make a donation to Taggart directly are encouraged to contact Capilano University’s Jazz Studies department for further information.

×× Aaron Campbell

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RELEASE YOUR INNER WARLOCK

arts

Nerdfest delivers healthy serum of medieval fantasy Lauren Gargiulo × Writer

“It’s like a variety show meets renaissance fair,” says Morgan Zentner, founder of Nerdfest and Aesir Promotions. The event, which will feature musical performances, medieval-themed crafts, and even a medieval dating game, has something for the damsel in distress or white knight in any of us. Nerdfest is in its second year, and will hopefully become an annual event. It fills a unique niche in Vancouver, catering to anyone drawn to “medieval fantasy and burlesque,” Zenter says. “Unfortunately, there aren’t any renaissance fairs in Vancouver – there are a couple in B.C. but only for one weekend a year.” For those unfamiliar with the tradition of renaissance fairs, they are themed fairs where one can dress up in Renaissance clothing, watch jousting matches, eat traditional food from that period, and have an all around good time slaying dragons and drinking ale. Zentner started Nerdfest last year to create an event for her band, Scythia, to perform at. “[We] headlined last year,” says Zentner. The Vancouverbased folk-metal group often has problems finding places to play. “There are not too many bands we fit in with in this town – finding the right show for us is hard. We either have to create it, or get asked to play, but we find that the bands (who ask) aren’t really our style of music.” This year, the festival also includes locals The Carnival Band and The Whiskeydicks.

After a positive experience and feedback last year, Zentner decided to make it more official and start her own event company. “Last year was kind of like a test run. This year I started my own promotions company, Aesir Promotions, for Nerdfest. It’s totally independent,” she explains. Nerdfest features more than just music: the entertainment varies widely, including Mahafsoun, a Persian bellydancer; Precious Metal, a “metal fusion” burlesque dancer; and Vesper Sephony, a fire dancing hula hooper, among others. The event will also host a variety of crafts for sale: for anyone who’s a fan of Harry Potter, all the way to Game of Thrones, Nerdfest has something for everyone. “We have a guy from Saskatoon that’s coming, and he makes drinking horns and things like that. There’s a leather-working girl, and jewellery – it’s the perfect place to shop for Christmas presents!” says Zentner. Attendees are also strongly encouraged to dress up: Pictures from last year’s event show everything from dwarvish rune-embroidered kilts, to people dressed as wizards, to belly dancers. “There’s a costume contest, and it’s just more fun if you dress up, you know?” Zentner says. “Halloween’s over, but people are still in the dressing up mood; it’s in the middle of Christmas and Halloween, so you can dress up and do your shopping.” Unfortunately, Nerdfest, like last year, is an event that is 19+. “It’s so much more expensive to rent out a venue for all ages, because the venue loses money it could’ve made on beer sales,” explains Zentner. “Hopefully next year

Nerdfest will be all-ages.” Nerdfest is sure to deliver as promised, “A Night of Medieval Fantasy.” With everything from live swordplay, belly dancing, live music and stand-up fantasy comedy, Nerdfest is definitely somewhere to show your true colours by donning your Viking helmet, sword and medieval style bar-wench dress that you (secretly) have in your closet. Nerdfest is being held at the Biltmore Cabaret on Nov. 23. Tickets are $15. For more info, check out their website: Nerdfestvancouver.com.

×× Stefan Tosheff

COMICs STORE HITS HOLE-IN-ONE Lucky’s Comics releases second issue of Dunk Katherine Gillard × Writer

Ten years of dancing Macabre The Faint jump back in style By JJ Brewis, Editor-in-Chief Upon arriving to the Commodore Ballroom, I was instantly depressed at the fact that the venue was not even half full. But as I moved toward the stage, it occurred to me that everyone else in the crowd was exactly in my shoes: just a couple hundred people having a holy experience with Omaha, Nebraska’s The Faint. The Faint have not released an album in over four years. 2008’s Fascination barely made a mark on critics, and the band retreated until last year, when the group’s label Saddle Creek announced an expanded re-release of the group’s 2001 breakthrough Danse Macabre. Their current tour is a celebration of that work, a beacon of early 2000s post-punk and new-wave revivalism. Playing Macabre front-to-back was a pleasant reminder that, for me, this was the gateway album that led me to more interesting and thoughtful music choices: my first foray into the world of low-fi, synth-heavy tunes. At the time Macabre was released, I, for one, was in small town Hell, and when given a cassette tape copy from a crush I met at a nerdy drama festival, my life was changed. The album became my summer soundtrack the year before I left high school. It was both nostalgic and refreshing to see these songs a decade later in live format, and a relief that I almost enjoyed them more in the present than upon those early listens. Perhaps I connect deeper with the content and the artistry now, rather than just enamoured that another whole unfamiliar world of music existed. The show promised Macabre in its entirety, and they did just that. But the guys also dished out a good hour plus of other hits, ranging from early work to the shockingly good “Evil Voices” (a testament that they’ve still got it). The supportive crowd seemed enamoured by the work, regardless of era. Backed by an impressive cityscape LED light getup, The Faint proved just as enthused about playing their back catalogue as the nostalgic crowd, providing a thoughtful spin on the tracks. “Agenda Suicide” swaps the album version’s gutteral screams for heavy panting; “Total Job” becomes an engagement with lyrical range in place of the understated original. It was impressive to me though, that even a decade into my affair with the album, I still recalled every drum beat, every vocoder-placed octave. The night provided a wonderful trip down memory lane, but also painted a picture of what The Faint really did: changed the game for not just me, but for a lot of people in that crowd.

the capilano courier

× volume

46 issue N o . 10

When stepping through the bright yellow door surrounded by blue bricks on Main St. and into the little shop named Lucky’s, you are immediately overwhelmed by the large selection of comics, music and games, all crammed into the small space. On Nov. 6, you might also have been overwhelmed by the amount of people crammed into the space, as the store celebrated the release of the second issue of their “official newsletter,” Dunk. The snacks at the party included a variety of nuts and DunkAroos, which perfectly speaks to the unique atmosphere at Lucky’s, a store that offers a huge variety of independent comics, books, zines, graphic novels and games. If you’re looking for the latest from Marvel or DC comics, this isn’t your store, but if you want to find something from a tiny publisher that no one else is selling, Lucky’s is the place to find it. Going beyond simply being an interesting store that stocks rare, quirky merchandise, Lucky’s is in fact a great example of a multi-purpose space that gives back to the community it sells things to. The store uses their back room as an art gallery, for which anyone can submit a proposal to use simply by emailing them. Both that space and the store space are opened up for all-ages shows each month, as well as Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh card tournaments. Will Anderson, one of Lucky’s staff, says, “We try to hold as many [events] as possible, although they used to be sparse.” The shop is now holding about five to 10 events per month, typically including three or four card tournaments and one local show. The events that Lucky’s hosts are all listed in Dunk, which includes an all-ages calendar with

all sorts of ideas of things to do in the city that aren’t restricted to those 19 years of age and older. “When I moved to Vancouver, I had a hard time finding things to do,” says Anderson. “I was 18 and I wanted to see bands that were playing at The Biltmore or The Commodore. I grew up in a small town that always had a calendar of events, so I wanted to do that.” Dunk, a monthly publication, is free and can be found at Lucky’s and many of the stores that line Main St., including Red Cat Records, Antisocial Skateboard Shop and Mintage. The November issue is eight pages of “weird writing, things to do and celebrate all month long, [and] otherness,” with two full pages of local comics, ranging from the goofy to the abstract. “We’d seen a few zines and done a few before, [and we] wanted to do it for Lucky’s,” explains Anderson. The content is almost entirely produced both locally and in-store. “[The contributors] are all local, some are from outside, people we know in Portland. Besides the comics, it’s Lucky’s staff,” says Anderson. “One thing people ask is if we take submissions, but we don’t. We try to keep it central to Lucky’s.” Each issue lists the new titles of comics, books and products available at the store. With a home-grown zine and accessible events, on top of a diverse selection of comics and beyond, Lucky’s has demonstrated that they know how to make themselves stand out.

SHORTS

Follow Lucky’s Twitter @luckysonline, or their blog Luckys.ca, to learn more about upcoming events.

11 ×× alex Harvey-Wickens

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FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

EARTHQUAKES, HURRICANES, TORNADOES – OH MY Coming to terms with disaster

Leah Scheitel × Opinions Editor

With the recent earthquakes on the West Coast and superstorms in the east, the world is starting to look like the set of an apocalyptic Steven Spielberg movie. While climate change may be one of the major culprits behind the increase of hurricanes and tropical storms, it has no effect on earthquakes and volcanoes, or disasters made by the earth rather than the atmosphere. Even though hurricanes are unrelated to earthquakes, and Vancouver’s potential for natural disasters is totally different than New York’s, witnessing disaster in another urban centre can be alarming nonetheless. If such a big, powerful city that personifies modern urbanity can be the site of such ruin, how might Vancouver look when the plates are shifting under our feet? Taken together with the recent coastal earthquakes, these catastrophes have people wondering what the cause is, if they’ll become more frequent, and how they might change what our urban futures look like.

×× Kira Campbell

the capilano courier

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46 issue N o . 10

Storms on Steroids

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The warming of the planet does have effects on the weather and climate, and as Simon Donner, a climate scientist and UBC professor, explains, humans have a direct effect on global warming. “The difference between climate and the weather is basically statistics. Weather is like the noise and climate is like the signal. If we add up enough weather events and look at how they occur over time, we might notice that the climate is changing because more weather events of a certain trend are occurring – and so if we study that for long enough, we might have statistics that change.” Donner says that the connection between climate change and hurricanes will never be direct; therefore global warming can never be fully blamed for the increase in hurricanes, or for being the direct cause of them. “We’re never going to be able to say that ‘this storm was caused by climate change.’ But we can say that these storms are expected to be more common in a warmer future,” Donner explains. “We can also zoom in on what a storm does, and say ‘wow, those impacts are probably worse because of

climate change.’ With the example of Hurricane Sandy, if the same hurricane had struck New York and New Jersey at the exact same point in the tidal cycle – same high tide, same time of the month, same time of the year – 100 years ago the storm would have been smaller.” Another factor in the rise of hurricanes is the fact that today’s technology-evolved society is noticing more storms than in previous times. “‘Whoa it seems like there are a lot of storms,’ is influenced by what we hear about. We might hear about more storms now because there is more media now than there was in the past,” says Donner. “One of the challenges in trying to say, ‘Are hurricanes becoming more common?’ is that 80 years ago, if a hurricane formed and never struck land, no one would know … these days there are satellites monitoring all of this stuff, so we know.”

Changing Climate Change Climate does have an effect on the intensity of hurricanes, and humans have a direct effect on climate change and the progression of global warming. These “superstorms” are causing peo-

ple to look at global warming in a more serious manner. In a National Geographic article, scientist Christopher Landsea said that our growing population alone is reason for concern. “When you double some vulnerable populations every 20 to 30 years, that’s what’s going to cause disasters. We’ve got a huge problem, even if hurricanes don’t change at all,” Landsea told National Geographic. But there are steps individual people can take to lower their impact on the environment. Donner says that there are three main ways for a person to take action against climate change: Professionally, politically, and personally. “I think the most important thing to recognize [is] that this is a problem, that for the most part, the generation reading your paper did not start. It started a long time ago. But … this generation is largely going to be tasked with solving it,” he says. Personal change may often come from greater dietary consciousness. “Another [thing] that could reduce emissions would be looking at what you eat. A bigger thing than where it comes from, is what you actually eat … how much energy went into producing it,” he continues. “One of the biggest things you could do is to eat less meat every week because it

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takes a lot more energy to grow crops to feed one animal than it does to grow crops to feed people. You’re pulling one step out. I’m not advocating for vegetarianism. I’m just saying that if you want to reduce greenhouse gas emission from your daily life, driving less or driving more efficiently and eating differently are probably the biggest things you could do.” One of the bigger points Donner makes is that young people don’t have to become climate scientists or activists to have a positive effect on the climate. Protecting the climate can be brought, in some kind of aspect, to every profession available. “If you think of any profession that you go into, that the graduates of Capilano decide to do, there’s a way that your profession … you can focus your work in that profession on addressing climate change. The fact is that they’ll all need to contribute,” he says. “If you think about it, that is what the world is certainly going to need. Not to create a profession of climate activists or sustainability professionals, but sort of bring it into whatever they do.“

“You’re never going to have a tropical cyclone in Vancouver, it’s virtually impossible,” says Donner. “We’re too far north, and they don’t generate on our side of the Pacific. It just wouldn’t happen. So we’re not at threat of hurricane Sandy ever happening if you live here.” Bostock says that Vancouver is protected from tsunamis because of Vancouver Island. “In Vancouver, because you’re sheltered via the Straight of Juan de Fuca, by the time a major tsunami makes its way into the inland waters of the Georgia Straight its amplitudes are going to be diminished fairly dramatically,” he explains. “Even if you get a 10-metre tsunami, like the kind we’ve been exposed to from the recent Japanese earthquake, even if it’s off the West Coast by the time it moves into the inland waterways, it’s not likely to be more than a metre or so.”

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Van-Quakes Vancouver has long been rumoured to be due for an earthquake, and Bostock explains that it’s not a question of if it will happen, but when. “It is inevitable. We know that they have occurred in the past, roughly every 550 years. It’s not so regular that we can say we know when it’s going to happen again because sometimes it’s happened as frequently as every 300 years,” he explains. “Sometimes it’s been 800 years before these large earthquakes and the last one was actually 300 years ago. That tells you that we should be on our toes as far as being prepared for

Earthquake Education The City of Vancouver wants its residents to be ready for disasters, especially earthquakes, as they are the most prominent concern in this geographical region. To accomplish this, they offer free emergency preparedness seminars.

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Monitoring earthquakes proves to be much more difficult than monitoring storm systems and hurricanes. Because of how the guts of the earth move and shift to cause the earthquakes, science hasn’t found a way to successfully predict them as of yet. “Climate change, hurricanes, ... earthquakes, and volcanoes are energized by different sources. So the climate [and] things like hurricanes – all that has to do ultimately with energy that comes from the sun,” explains Michael Bostock, a professor and earthquake seismologist at UBC. “Earthquakes and volcanoes are generated through energy that come from deep in the earth that basically is the residual heat from Earth’s early formation.” Climate change has nothing to do with the movement of the earth or the shifting of the plate tectonics that cause the earthquakes. And because the shifting happens under the earth’s surface, it makes it difficult for scientists to know what’s happening, to warn people about potential earthquakes. “At the present time, the best we can do is forecast. There is a difference between prediction and forecasting. Forecasting is sort of a longer-term thing and we can use our knowledge of seismicity in the past to say something about how likely the occurrence of earthquakes is going to be into the future.” Bostock continues. “But predicting things into the daily or weekly basis is going to be very difficult. And the main reason is that it’s very hard to – unlike the atmosphere, which we can probe easily with satellites ... which allows us to predict weather a week in advance, the earth is much harder to penetrate for obvious reasons … So the prospect for being able to predict earthquakes, at least in the short term, is not very good.” Not being able to effectively predict earthquakes can be detrimental to a community, as seen recently with the 7.7 earthquake that shook Haida Gwaii in October. “There was no warning before the quake hit,” says Cherie Kalhofer, who lives in Masset. “It was kind of wild – it felt like the room was swaying around, just like the plates below us in the ocean below us are said to do during an earthquake.” Although there were warning sirens and officials were trying to warn as many people about the earthquake, Kalhofer and her husband didn’t hear the warnings because they live on the outskirts of town. “My mom came over. She said that the police were driving around telling everybody to get out of town. She wondered why they weren't bothering with us,” she continues, “I said ‘I guess we don't matter.’” The earthquake first shook the island around

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reporting on the earthquake, and local civic leaders had begun evacuations based on the U.S. alerts.” Yet the province stands by its warning procedure. As Premier Christy Clark said to CBC News: “If there are things to learn, then we'll go back and look at them, but here's the thing: no one was hurt, no one was injured. The system worked.” While no one was injured, this earthquake raised concerns about what will happen if one to hit a more populated urban centre, such as Vancouver.

Quake Headache

Jackie Kloosterboer is an Emergency Planning Coordinator for the City of Vancouver, and she says that people need to be more aware of what to do in an emergency situation. “We offer free sessions on emergency preparedness, and sometimes they’re very lowly attended,” she says. The sessions focus on “what you can do to be prepared at home, at work, and for your family. Teaching people what to do when an earthquake hits.” Kloosterboer believes that more residents are under-prepared because they haven’t really experienced the trauma of a disaster, yet. “I think people have become complacent. I think for a lot of us, you know, we have never felt a major earthquake here. We may have felt the odd small one, but we’ve never had a significant earthquake and we just don’t think about it like we should. People are busy. They’ve got other things going on.” Fortunately, earthquakes and disasters in other areas act as a reminder for people in Vancouver. After the recent quake in Haida Gwaii, the request and attendance to the emergency preparedness seminars has increased. “We notice that after every earthquake or after every event, that people do become aware of it, and our class numbers definitely go up,” comments Kloosterboer. There are three workshops offered by the City of Vancouver on earthquake preparedness: “Be Prepared, Not Scared,” which touches on how to be prepared for any type of emergency, how to make a plan specific to you and your family, and the importance of an emergency kit; “Earthquake Preparedness and Apartment Living” focuses on the challenges for those living in apartments and condos; and “Earthquake Preparedness for You and Your Pet” is specific for those people concerned about caring for the pets during a disaster. “We’ve [the city] got our plans in place but the people who live in our cities are not prepared,” says Kloosterboer. “Education is always good.” Natural disaster can be devastating to any community, as seen in such recent examples as Japan, New Oreleans and Thailand. If these, and the recent earthquake closer to home, can teach B.C. anything, it’s that a little education and being prepared can go a long way.

the consequences of an earthquake. It might not happen until our grandkids are older, but it might occur tomorrow.” Earthquakes, generally speaking, are the side effects of the core of the planet cooling down. “Earth as a planet is gradually cooling. That transfer of heat from the deep earth to the surface is what gives rise to volcanoes and earthquakes, and eventually, deep into the future, gradually the earth will cool to the point where all those process cease,” says Bostock. “So Earth will eventually become a dead planet, but for the next few hundreds of millions, if not billions of years, there will continue to be earthquakes.” One thing that both Bostock and Donner agree upon is that the geographical placement of Vancouver protects it from dangers such as hurricanes and tsunamis.

the capilano courier

8 p.m. PST, but it wasn’t until three hours later that Kalhofer heard any official warning. “I was watching the news and at 11:20 p.m. I noticed flashing lights outside. It was a police car who sounded its siren a couple of times. I stood at the window looking at the car wondering what it was expecting me to do. Then I thought ‘Well I guess we do matter,’” she explains. “Two minutes later the news said that our earthquake warning had been lowered to an alert.” In the days after the earthquake in Haida Gwaii, many people questioned the province’s ability to warn people of the after dangers, such as tsunamis, and how prepared B.C. actually is in the event of a catastrophe. According to CBC News, “Emergency Information B.C. issued its first tsunami warning on Twitter at 8:55 p.m. – long after the news stations had already begun

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FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

THE JOBSEEKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY A realist’s advice on applying for jobs Jordan Potter × Writer

When I graduated from Capilano in 2010, I somehow managed to parlay an Associate’s degree in creative writing into a supervisory job in the government of Canada. In my position with the feds, I was responsible for paring thousands of applicants down to 30 full-time employees. As a result, I have read a lot of resumes. Some good. Some bad. One that was rubbed with a tea bag to make it look old, like kids do to their history reports in elementary school (seriously). However, after a period of making mad coin in a short period of time (like MC Hammer) and wasting all of it (like MC Hammer), my contract expired and I began a period of unemployment that lasted eight months. After two solid months of planning my day around watching The Price is Right, I finally set out in earnest trying to land another good job. It was very difficult. It’s because of this difficulty and the frustration and depression that comes with it, that I have decided to share the knowledge I’ve gained as a job seeker to you. My hope is that armed with it, you will spend less of the best years of your life unemployed, yelling at game show contestants for bidding too high in the Showcase Showdown.

Looking through hundreds of job listings to find something you’re interested in is soul-crushing work. While Craigslist is a valuable resource, as it’s become the world’s largest database of listings, it’s also where everyone else is looking. Take the time to Google companies you like, or would like to work for. If they aren’t hiring, maybe their competitors are. Use job listing specific search engines like Indeed.com that search across Expedia.ca, Monster.ca and the like. Worst-case scenario, you can’t find anything and resort to asking your friends. The average Facebook user has 200 friends, and that’s 200 people who may read your “Can anyone help me find a job?” status update.

“Dear [Name of Hiring Manager – If their name isn’t listed, Google it, look on LinkedIn, or see if the company has an About Us section on their website where they list employees. If that fails, call and ask who is responsible for hiring. Only in the near-impossible circumstance that all of these searches yield nothing are you allowed to simply write ‘Dear hiring manager.’ People are happy when you use their name. That’s psychology! You’re a student, look it up nerd!] I am contacting you today regarding the [JOB POSITION] listed on [WHERE I FOUND IT]. I’m confident that my [STRONG TRAIT, EDUCATION OR RELATED E X P E R I E N C E 1 ] ,

46 issue N o . 10

Finding job listings

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Cover letter When I help people apply for jobs, one of the most common questions I get asked is, “Do I need a cover letter?” If the qualifications on your resume alone are so incredible that you don’t need a cover letter, you probably wouldn’t be unemployed. The truth of the matter is that hiring managers skim resumes, but they read (good) cover letters. That caveat is an important one: If you submit a generic cover letter it shows that you didn’t take your application seriously, and as a result, neither will the employer. The amount of time spent tailoring your cover letter to a specific job posting should reflect how badly you want the position. This doesn’t mean you need to start from scratch, but if you are applying to a variety of different job types, you will need at least a different cover letter for each one. Make sure to save multiple copies of these for faster editing in the future. Unless otherwise specified in the job listing, your cover letter shouldn’t be longer than one page. This is what a good cover letter should look like:

× the capilano courier

When you find a listing you’re interested in, check when it was posted. If a listing is more than five days old and doesn’t show a closing date, contact the employer to make sure they’re still accepting applications. Applying for jobs is an involved process; you don’t want to waste time writing cover letters and tailoring your resume to positions that have already been filled.

[STRONG TRAIT EDUCATION OR RELATED EXPERIENCE 2], and [STRONG TRAIT, EDUCATION, OR RELATED EXPERIENCE 3] make me an excellent candidate for the job. Your first body paragraph should explain how your work history has prepared you for the tasks outlined in the job description. Be as explicit as possible. If the job description included report writing, you had better have a line that states that you have experience report writing. Don’t trust the hiring manager to deduce how your last job might apply to this one; we aren’t terribly smart. Your second body paragraph should elaborate on your second [STRONG TRAIT, EDUCATION OR RELATED EXPERIENCE] makes you qualified to do another task/skill included in the job description. The third body paragraph should elaborate on your final [STRONG TRAIT, EDUCATION OR RELATED EXPERIENCE.] Ideally, you are applying for a job that you really want, so this third paragraph can be a good opportunity to explain why you’re so passionate about Industry/Company X. I get excited just thinking about working at [EMPLOYER NAME] and know that I’m the right person for the job. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me by phone (###-####) or email (boarder_babe420@lycos.ca). I look forward to hearing from you.

of Word will display your document in different ways or be unable to open them at all. PDF is safe. PDF is civilization. To increase the chances of your cover letter getting read, copy/paste its text into the body of your email.

Now, at the end of your journey, after hours of looking for a relevant job listing – writing a cover letter and editing your resume, you probably won’t be contacted. Try not to get discouraged; there are thousands of people applying to every entry-level position out there. It’s a complete roll-of-the-dice whether your application will even be seen. If you continually submit well-considered applications, you will get interviews. I believe in you. Stay the course. Or maybe like, join the army? I don’t know. I’m just some guy.

Thank you so much for your consideration, -Boarder Babe420

Resume Like your cover letter, your resume will need to be altered to match each position you apply for. Most large corporations use software that searches submitted resumes for certain relevant keywords from the job description; too few, and your application never even reaches a human. To take advantage of this, make sure to insert some of the language included in the job posting verbatim. Visually, resumes allow a lot more creative freedom than cover letters, and there are plenty of viable templates built in to Microsoft Office or available on Google Docs. Again, it’s important to consider your audience. Don’t use a colourful, modern theme if you’re applying for a government job; don’t use a bland, old-fashioned design if you’re applying at Hootsuite. Your resume doesn’t need to include your entire working history. It’s best to include your most recent employment, along with any other experience you may feel is relevant to the position you’re applying for. If you don’t have much work experience, pick a resume template that focuses on skills. If you have a lot of relevant experience, having a two-page resume is a good way to illustrate that.

Submitting your application

×× Mustaali Raj

When you finally have a cover/letter resume combo you’re proud of, combine them into a single file, and export it as a .PDF. Never submit your resume as a .DOC. Different versions

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monday nov. 19

Your Vancouver Brewery Experience I don’t understand beer. It tastes rotten! But I’m certainly in the minority here, so I’ll just sit back and let you all parade around and say things like “Oh wow, that’s how they get it so hoppy,” or “John Molson is a god,” or “Oh wow. I would love another sleeve of this.” What the hell, you guys. Just quit being cheap and order a whiskey soda. 1 p.m., Molson Coors Brewery. $20. Tasting Plates Vancouver – Fall Edition Time for a delicious food event! I’ve always wanted to go to this because it is such a tasty way to experiment in Vancouver’s restaurant scene all in one night, and you get to try a bunch of different foods for a pretty decent price. Restaurants include East of Main Café, Harvest Foods, and Beta5 (a.k.a the best chocolate, ever). 6 p.m., participating restaurants. $30/$40.

Ruby Ukes’ Ukulele Concert and Christmas Party Ukuleles are one of my favourite instruments because they’re so tiny but have such character! One time I saw this girl holding a tiny guitar and wondered if it was a ukulele, but I didn’t want to ask so I just told myself it was. Here’s a sweet ukulele concert where you can see what they actually look like, while eating mince pies and drinking mulled wine! 6:30 p.m., The Seymour Building. $10.

Johnny De Courcy Album Release Local t-shirt maker and all around cool-guy rock star releases his first full-length album with band the Death Rangers. Johnny is actually the best. I worked with him at the Federal Election polls a couple times, and we just sat and drew funny pictures of our supervisor all day. Real mature, guys. 9 p.m., The Biltmore. $8.

Zumba Your Body, Share Your Love So there’s this new fitness phenomenon called Zumba and it’s supposed to be like a hundred times harder than Billy Blanks’ workout DVDs but also much better for you. The tourism management international students have organized a Zumba class for you to try out, and the fee is simply a donation to the B.C. Children’s Hospital. Come work your ass off, and feel good about it. 2:30 p.m., Sportsplex. Suggested donation $3.

Textile Arts Student and Alumni Sale I was going to make a bad joke about how you can buy your very own textile arts student at this sale, but instead I’ll tell you the truth: You can buy some sweet, “unique and creative” items that will be for sale. Be the ultimate Gift Giver this holiday season. 11:30 a.m., AR201. Cost of Textile Arts student.

Bun: Sesso 2012 Collection Launch A couple weeks ago on Gossip Girl Blair launched her new fashion line at a fashion show and Chuck helped her and knew exactly what she wanted and it was super romantic. Anyway, this is also a fashion show, and a launch of a sweet new line! Sip on your champagne, enjoy appetizers by Chinois, and feel super classy. 7 p.m., Chinois Restaurant. $30.

The Motion Picture and New Media Career Expo I’ve heard rumours that this industry has a lot to do with networking, and this expo provides the perfect opportunity. You can meet lots of people, get questions answered, and maybe enjoy some refreshments? I’m going with hopes of meeting James Franco. 11 a.m., The Roundhouse. Free.

Silver Harbour Christmas Bazaar The website doesn’t provide much information, but it does have a photo of a joviallooking gent standing behind a table with probably 500 bowls on it. 500? You gotta go buy a bowl off this guy, ‘cause how the fuck is he gonna carry them home? How bazaar! 10 a.m., Silver Harbour Seniors’ Activity Centre. Free admission.

Think Your Communication Skills Are Worthy? IABC/BC hosts this forum about the upcoming Student Communicator of the Year Awards. A chance to talk to previous winners and find out how you can be a winner in 2013! 5:30 p.m., SFU Harbour Centre. Free!

Ivy Pull A rare opportunity to help the campus out by digging out holly and ivy (relatively festive!?). Did you know that “not everything green is good”? Tell that to Washington and Colorado, heh heh heh. It’s some fun volunteering, but best of all you get to learn about the “invasive aliens among us.” OMG ALIENS, MY FAVE! 10 a.m., Library Plaza (there’s ivy there?). Bring your own gloves, then free.

Cirque du Soleil: Amaluna Every Cirque du Soleil show has a completely over the top story that invites the viewer into a fantastical world. This new production debuted this April and we are lucky to get it so soon. This show is about a realm on the moon governed by goddesses. The set is inspired by nature and the music is contemporary. Mystical! Various times, The Big Top (!!!) at Concord Pacific Place. $43.50-$268.50. Runs until December 30.

Capilano Maker Space Meeting I think this is a newish club at Cap, and it caught my attention because its title is backwards. What is a Maker Space? Apparently they’re “tech without the textbook” and they put on workshops so you can learn how to use technology in your projects! It also says, “Come out and talk nerdy!” Okay they legit sound cool, sorry I questioned your name. 1 p.m., FR205. Free.

Santaland Diaries Arts Club presents this journey into the mind of humour writer David Sedaris and his time spent working with a mall Santa from his book Holidays on Ice, in his “true confessions as an elf.” Check out our interview with the show’s star, Ryan Beil, in next week’s Courier! Various times, Arts Club Revue Stage. $25$35. Runs until December 22. MEC North Vancouver Classic 5/10K Run It’s so cold outside! Why would anybody want to do this? Medals, of course! Imagine being known as the fastest living person in North Vancouver! You could achieve anything. I won a medal once, for second place in a spelling bee. Life of the underdog. Maybe I should organize a spelling bee race where you have to spell things while you’re running. 9 a.m., Lower Seymour Conservation Reserve. $15 race fee.

Anarchism in the 21st Century Three authors will discuss their books about anarchism, and everyone knows I do love a good author talk. On top of that, they’ll discuss anarchism in the present day, and how it seems to be re-emerging, with comparisons to anarchism movements from as early as 1889. 7 p.m., VPL Central Branch. Free.

Craft Fair Crawl There are seriously so many craft fairs going on today: Portobello West Holiday Market, West End Holiday Craft Fair, Urban Artisan Craft Fair and the Dunbar Holiday Craft Fair, if I have to name a few. So go to them all! Marathon this shit! I believe in you! We can do it all! Various times, locations and prices. NaNoWriMo Write-In! For you brave souls attempting to write an entire opus for November’s Novel Writing Month, this is your opportunity to enjoy marginally-better-than-Blenz style Waves coffee, lock yourself in a room with other writers, and listen to the clicking of a dozen keyboards for a couple of hours. Sounds competitive. I’d just type nonsense for an hour and tell people I finished and that I’m off to my publisher’s office. But I’m kind of a prick. 11 a.m., Waves at Smithe and Howe. Free!

The 8th Anonymous Art Show Hundreds of 8x8 canvases by established and emerging artists, all for $100 each, raising funds for the North Van Community Arts Council. Also there is wine and punch! Both? That’s like some sort of wacky daydream! But a true daydream. Does that make sense? Art dreams. I’ll shut up now. 12 p.m., CityScape Community Art Space. Free Admission. Runs until December 15.

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Last Day to Donate Books! Some students organized a book drive as part of a class project. Give them your old books that you don’t read anymore (Da Vinci Code?), or the useless textbook you didn’t read last semester and now can’t even sell because the book came out with another stupid new edition (wtf!), and get some nice snacks and PRIZES. 11 a.m., CSU library lounge. Get rewarded.

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Paul McCartney If you want to see a living Beatle, this is really your best option. Did you know Paul hasn’t played Vancouver since the Beatles were here in 1964? He’s totally going to play “Blackbird”, and everyone is going to cry. I love to cry and I love the Beatles. I’ll probably stay home and listen to The White Al and cry. 8 p.m., BC Place. Sold out. Sketchy Craigslist tickets?

Brazil Flag Day When I lived in Toronto I had these amazing Brazilian neighbours who were our friends and they gave me my first taste of mango, which then became my favourite fruit. “Everything is bigger in Brazil,” the dad would say, and my parents would laugh super hard. Now I kind of get why. All day, everywhere but especially in Brazil. Cost of Brazilian flag.

European Union Film Festival 26 films from 26 different countries! Holy shit, imagine going to all of them? It would be like a multi-vitamin of culture leaving you with the ability to speak German, Latvian, Polish, Estonian and a bunch more. Plus, 26 excuses to eat popcorn? Various times, The Cinematheque. Single bills $10.50, double bills $12.50. Runs until December 6.

Hitchcock Today is a very exciting day for cinephiles! Anthony Hopkins stars as late, great film director Alfred Hitchcock in this promising biopic. True story, when I was a tween and had no friends I used to borrow Hitchcock films from the public library and watch them alone on weekends. I would say that, hands down, the best is Vertigo. Sadly, Hitchcock stars Toni Collette and Scarlett Johansson. What the fuck, world? All day, theatres about town. Cost of movie. Walk The Moon They’re from Cincinnati! How often do you get to say that? Their music videos are really artistic and I’m pretty into any of these “indie” bands where the singer can actually, y’know, sing? I’m not sure about their band name but they’re kind of cute so whatever. 8 p.m, Venue. $15.

Beyond the Love Lyric When I was younger I’d always sing to myself and then write these weird lyrics to go with whatever melody I’d just made up. I’m pretty sure once it was something like “I wish I. I wish I. I wish I could see you,” which obviously isn’t the most original. But now the VPL’s writer-in-residence is doing a workshop to help us with songwriting – and by the end we’ll have composed a song together. 6:30 p.m., VPL Central Branch. Free.

SUNday nov. 25

Relaxation Techniques Every year this time of the semester is fucking brutal because everything is due all at once and only like one per cent of us has done any of it in advance. For the 99 per cent, take some time off from procrastinating and hit up this workshop. Learn to relax, dude! Don’t sweat the small stuff. Or any of it, really. Unless you’re Nelly. 11:30 a.m., LB119. Free (or cost of Sweatsuit)

Calendar@ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

the capilano courier

Saturday nov. 24

Friday nov. 23

Thursday nov. 22

wednesday nov. 21

New Music Monday Didn’t records used to come out on Tuesdays? Weird. Today sees a plethora of gems, including Kelly Clarkson’s greatest hits (about time), the 30th Rihanna CD of Barack’s second term, a third re-release of that same Nicki Minaj album and Now That’s What I Call Music 83. Oh my fucking god I am so depressed. Excuse me while I lock myself in a dungeon and listen to Active Child. All day, everywhere. Cost of Active Child CD.

tuesday nov. 20

cap calendar

12-11-16 8:17 PM

OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Taylor "Oh So" Swift Katherine Gillard × Writer As if Taylor Swift isn’t the ultimate bad ass. Since spawning her career in 2006, Taylor Swift has won numerous awards while crooning to her fans with her classy style and tender songs. Her new album Red sold 1.2 million copies in its first week and is continuing sales in the thousands, which in the age of Internet downloads, says something about the devotion of her fan base. Her rise to fame and success are no surprise when you consider that Swift’s talent is not only in her musical abilities (which includes guitar, piano and vocals) but also in her songwriting. She crafts melodies about a broken heart, which should be inspiration to many girls: The ultimate way to get over a guy is to turn him into a hit single, not to slash his tires. Taylor Swift demonstrated that she takes being a role model seriously when she commented in an interview with Kelly Rippa that, “You have to be conscious of the fact that you are a part of the raising of the next generation and you do have an impact on that. So, choose your outfits and your words and your actions carefully. I think it matters. I think it really does. You can pretend it doesn’t, but it does.” Her awareness of the young people she influences is an attribute often lost on other pop stars that don’t consider the negative influence they have on teenage girls. Compared to other popular artists, Swift is a rare positive role model. With Nicki Minaj singing, “Fuck who you want and fuck who you like,” and Madonna looking like she pumps iron and throws up at the same time, girls are getting a warped vision of what really is appropriate for them. It’s nice to have the reminder of classic love songs, that the giddy feelings of a crush are normal. T-Swift is that reminder, wrapped into a perfect, polite package. Swift’s catchy songs set a great example of how to feel empowered after a breakup. Swift writes her own songs, unlike her pop star peers,

Leah Scheitel

× opinions@capilanocourier.com

Taylor "Not So" Swift

such as Rihanna. According to the Daily Beast, “Umbrella” was offered first to Britney Spears, and Victoria Fawkes Leona Lewis turned down “We Found Love” before × Writer Rihanna spat them out. This is what sets Swift apart – her lyrics come from a more genu- Taylor Swift, with her long blonde hair and cherryine place, and thus make them more relat- red pout, is the epitome of the all-American girl. able. Her lyrics inspire girls to look ahead, re- This image is enhanced by her award-studded alize that they can do better in the future, and career, squeaky-clean legal record, and the fact recognize the that the paparazzi brutal truth that have never snapped Swift-ly Changing some scumbags photos of her lady just aren’t worth bits. But all of these your time. achievements, and a by Charlie Black, Writer Sure, Swift’s flawless reputation, relationships aren’t worth much Ladies and gents, a new day is upon us. A day have failed in when she may be where Taylor Swift no longer dominates counthe past, but so an emotionally try music awards shows, scooping up awards have many other unstable, revengemeant for actual country artists. p o p u l a r seeking man-eater Her utter domination of awards shows artists who go on the inside. was certainly justified for her first couple of on to sing about When Swift first albums, but as the content of her work proit. Taylor Swift began her career, gressively drifted to country-pop to pop-withshows that your her songs rang true some-twang, to straight up bubblegum pop, world doesn’t to country roots the copious amount of country music awards need to revolve with upbeat lyrics. she was winning were less and less deserved. around a guy or She serenaded leThis year's Country Music Association a breakup. She gions of young fans Awards went by without a Taylor Swift accepis living proof to with personal tales tance speech, and that's a good thing. This is young girls that of love and personal not to knock Taylor in her success, but it is they can achieve heartbreak, as told simply refreshing to see actual country artists their dreams, in songs like “Love win country music awards. Congratulations to and if any man is Story” and “The Blake Shelton for taking home Entertainer of h o l d i n g Best Day”. On her the Year at the CMAs. And unless Swift comes them back or earlier albums, her back to making country music, may we never asking them songs reflected a (ever, ever) see such theft occur again. to do anything genuine belief in they’re uncomthe pursuit of true fortable with, they can leave. She admits in “I love, even if it came with some heartbreak along Knew You Were Trouble” and “Dear John” that the way. But after four albums of break-up inspired she knew that she was about to date an asshole, songs, her music is starting to sound toxic. With but she did anyways and it was a mistake. Just the song after song related to how Swift is never ever fact that she has the guts to continually recount getting back together with her ex-boyfriend, or her failed loves to packed venues proves that she describing a past relationship as “Sad, Beautiful, is one tough girl. Tragic”, one begins to wonder if Taylor is the prob-

lem in these relationships, rather than John Mayer, Joe Jonas or Taylor Lautner. Swift has had high-profile relationships with half a dozen guys, changing her A-list boyfriends like she changes her socks. Her young fans look to her for advice and solid lessons on love; how can she give them that when every failed relationship ends with her airing her ex’s dirty laundry to billions of people and making another couple million each time? Since 2009, Swift has made over $165 million off of her music. This means that Swift has earned her money by selling the personal and private stories of past relationships, and preying on the impressionable emotions of young fans. Before the release of her latest album, Swift told MTV News that she refused to repeat herself on her songs. “With this album, I really wanted to write with different people. I'm making my fourth album at this point, so it's like, this is so important that I do not start to repeat myself,” said Swift. With that in consideration, it’s a little hard to take her seriously when practically every single one of her recent songs follows the pattern of telling the world how she’s been wronged and is better off for the experience, and then ripping her ex-lovers a new one and attempting to humiliate them to the melody of a toe-tapping tune. It’s not to say that Ta y l o r Sw i f t i s n’t talented and celebrated. Her legions of fans are proof of this. The problem is that she teaches her young admirers that exacting cold, calculated revenge in the most public way possible is acceptable breakup medicine. This isn’t a great attribute in any role model.

×× Shannon Elliott

STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE Adbusters and Vice champion substandard journalism Connor Thorpe

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Amongst the ranks of popular magazines that consider themselves to be highly subversive, Adbusters and Vice stand out as heavyweights. Both market themselves almost exclusively to youth: Adbusters through their supposed mobilization of readers on anti-capitalist and anti-consumerist issues, and Vice through the employment of shock value and quirky fluff pieces to conceal the sometimes decent journalism that is hidden within its pages. The problem with Adbusters is the anti-consumerist, anti-capitalist, anti-everything labels that are associated with it. These things are all completely legitimate convictions for a magazine to possess, if they are values that are upheld through their practices as an entity. Adbusters as a glossy, expensive bi-monthly magazine distributed within corporate big-box bookstores like Chapters strips the publication of any credibility it might have had. Adbusters could be produced as an affordable DIY publication, informed by zine culture. The “culture jamming” staff and

management of the magazine undoubtedly know this. Still, the choice has been made to distribute the magazine through representation of the very concepts that Adbusters is trying to oppose. With the way that the cost and distribution of Adbusters is structured, the magazine finds itself marketed to middle to upper-middle class youth. This is no different in the benign anti-consumerist initiatives Adbusters supports – in which the only real consequence for devotees of the magazine is that it might remain untouched on the shelves of the Book Warehouse for one day of the year. Adbusters champions activism that comes at no real price to the activist, whilst meanwhile deviating from the philosophy that it informs its content. While Adbusters loses credibility for deviating from the philosophy that informs its content, Vice deserves criticism for not being able to commit to a philosophy at all. Vice gets picked up for its irreverent and often confrontational headlines, subjects and imagery, rather than for the content behind these things – and for those who aren’t in the know, it can be hard to come by. The visage of exclusivity that Vice has associated with itself by only stocking the magazine in select retailers is essentially bullshit, because

anyone can walk into their local American Apparel and pick up a copy – and unfortunately, there’s nothing exclusive or subversive about a gigantic international corporation. There’s a paradox within the content in Vice. Vice-associated outlets like Vice TV, and even some pieces within the magazine itself, explore serious sociopolitical issues while remaining highly accessible. Shane Smith’s covertly documented trip to North Korea for Vice TV allowed the public a rare look at a reclusive nation, while his trip to Liberia highlighted the horrific circumstances there in the wake of a brutal civil war. Smith’s “immersionist” style of journalism – becoming an active participant in the events he covers – could be criticized for the partial sacrifice of objectivity, but the accessibility of the program benefits from it. This provides the opportunity to expose a larger number of people to important issues. The problem is that consumers of Vice are forced to dig through in-depth interviews with the guy who punched Glenn Danzig in the face, or articles about whether i-Doser can get you high to get to anything of real substance. These sort of articles can be really awesome and edgy, but their presence alongside seriously journalistic pieces hints at Vice’s confusion with its own identity,

and the fact that relatively inconsequential pieces are being used to get the magazine off the shelves suggests a hesitance to let the their hard-hitting pieces speak for themselves. There’s also a disturbing undercurrent of discrimination within Vice’s pages. Founder Gavin McInnes – who sold his shares of Vice in 2008 – has frequently included homophobic and racist slurs in his writing for the magazine, a practice that he defends as satirically antagonizing the public and major media outlets. In an interview with the Ryerson Review of Journalism, McInnes describes his equal-opportunity discrimination, which he considers to be “normal, uncensored humor,” as harkening back to a time when bigotry in journalism “would sound mundane.” It’s not subversive or particularly funny at all – it’s a cheap way to get a laugh from ignorant and impressionable consumers who are confused about whether Vice is doing something intelligent or not. It’s up to consumers to think critically and recognize the flaws in these magazines – in content and in ethos – and to avoid being pandered to. That’s the only way to make Adbusters, Vice and magazines like them embark on the search for substance, to add to the style that they already have.

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The Empire Gives Back

Star Wars billions goes to funding education Carlo Javier × Writer A day will come when biographies will say: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a man of unparalleled greatness and achievements lived, and that man, was George Lucas. According to Forbes, a majority of the $4.05 billion the Star Wars creator made off of the sale of his production company, Lucasfilm, to the Walt Disney Company, would be donated to charity. This will instantly make him amongst the most charitable philanthropists ever, and will only add to his enviable list of outstanding feats. A significant portion of his life has been dedicated to his films. “For 41 years, the majority of my time and money has been put into the company,” Lucas said in a statement following the sale of Lucasfilm, noting that his focus now is set on different things. “As I start a new chapter in my life, it is gratifying that I have the opportunity to devote more time and resources to philanthropy.” Despite the amount of the donation, it doesn’t come as a surprise to those who follow the legendary filmmaker. Lucas has been one of the premier philanthropists for education. In 1991, he and venture capitalist Steve Arnold founded The George Lucas Educational Foundation, along with the website Edutopia.org. Lucas’ endeavours are meant to improve K-12 learning, and inspire innovations in education. In 2008, Lucas went before the United States

House of Representatives, with the intention of getting completely free Internet access to all schools across the U.S. The E-Rate program passed, and the U.S. government agreed to provide free web service in every school, something that Lucas describes as a “digital civil right.” Furthermore, in 2010, Lucas committed to Bill Gates and Warren Buffett’s The Giving Pledge, an initiative that has so far gathered 81 billionaires to pledge and give at least half of their wealth to charity. And fittingly, like Yoda did to Luke, and Obi-Wan to Anakin; Lucas is believing in the potential of the future generation. “I am dedicating the majority of my wealth to improving education. It is the key to the survival of the human race. We have to plan for our collective future – and the first step begins with the social, emotional, and intellectual tools we provide to our children,” Lucas stated in his 2010 Philanthropy Pledge. This isn’t Lucas’ first substantial donation to education. In 2006, he donated $175 million to the University of Southern California to further support educational initiatives. Lucas maintains a strong relationship with his alma mater, the USC, years after his graduation. Most famous for the Star Wars franchise, Lucas’ name is cemented in film history and nerd lore. Lucas is also noted for his long-standing friendship with another legendary filmmaker, Steven Spielberg. The two collaborated in creating another historic franchise, Indiana Jones. Lucas even had a small cameo appearance in Spielberg’s 1991 movie, Hook.

Both Star Wars and Indiana Jones have significant effects in filmmaking and culture, from the dramatic progress in use of special effects that Star Wars brought, its Jedi ideology, and its memorable catchphrases like: “No, I am your father,” and the immortal, “May the force be with you.” Sir Howard Stringer, Chairperson of AFI Board of Trustees and President of Sony Corporation, said of Lucas, “George Lucas is a master storyteller, but he is first and foremost a moving image pioneer. He has advanced the art of the moving image like few others, and in the process has inspired a new generation of filmmakers around the world. AFI is proud to present him with its Life Achievement Award.” Lucas won the award in 2005 for his contribution to film. He’s the teacher to the millions of Padawans of education, As he said in his 2010 pledge, “As humans, our greatest tool for survival is our ability to think and to adapt – as educators, storytellers and communicators, our responsibility is to continue to do so.” This is George Lucas, a billionaire filmmaker, who’s made some of the greatest films in history. He’s crafted some of the most memorable characters, even annoying ones, such as Jar Jar Binks. But on top of his accomplishments in entertainment, he is also a model philanthropist, and sets a great

example for people who have so much money that they don’t know what to do with it all. If that’s you, follow his lead, and donate some money to a cause you believe in. The world just got better. Lucas just made the education force stronger.

×× Katie So

Vegetaballs

Latest PETA ads shocking and ineffective Lauren Gargiulo × Writer

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PETA’s newest ad campaign sells sex more effectively than it does the idea of going vegan. While the promise of “staying firm and fresh” and having a higher sex drive may appeal to the average individual, it’s hard to take PETA seriously as an animal rights group when they go for shock value and forgo anything else. While many people choose to go vegetarian or vegan because they feel it’s a healthier lifestyle, and while it may be true being vegan helps men “stay firm and fresh,” this in no way helps how people who eat meat and animal by-products (such as milk and cheese) view PETA. Campaigns and ads such as these are the reason why so many people, meat-eaters and non meat-eaters alike have no respect for PETA. “I’m not a crazy vegan hippy who’s handing out flyers about saving sea kittens and screaming at people if they’re eating Skittles cause they have animal by-products in them,” vents Grace Crisp, a vegan advocate who was raised with vegetarian parents. “I don’t eat meat ‘cause meat is gross, and I don’t eat dairy because I don’t want to. Same with eggs. I’m not crazy – I’m healthy. PETA needs to shut up.” What PETA needs to realize is that although their ads get attention, their ads are also generating negative attention, and that there is absolutely nothing of value in ads with such poor taste. Once the shock wears off, the ads give nothing of importance to what PETA is trying to accomplish in their advocacy for the better treatment of animals.

“Increase your sexual stamina. Go Vegan.” The statement at the end of PETA’s (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) most recent advertisement was perfectly clear. The ad showed men of all ages proudly swinging their fruits and vegetables about – that’s right, fruits and vegetables. As in, long carrots, bananas, squash,

a brutal murder, allegedly engaged in cannibalism during the attack. CBC reported that amidst the shock of this murder, PETA came up with a new ad on their site comparing the murder of McLean to how humans kill animals for food. According to PETA, the cold-blooded murder, mutilation and digestion of another human being is identical to killing a chicken for dinner. PETA planned to run the ad in several newspapers, however due to the offensive content of the ad, it was not run. “[The ad] was meant to shock people into realizing how we treat animals,” PETA stated on their website. The ad bluntly compared murder to animal cruelty, which may be seen as offensive and insensitive to the people who are suffering from the trauma of the murder. In 2009, PETA launched a new campaign about fish. No one thinks fish are cute since they’re scaly, slimy and live under water. To counteract this image, PETA decided to rename them “sea kittens.” On the sea kitten website, PETA states, “Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone…we’ve got it from here. And we're going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it's time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?” While some people thought this was a joke, PETA is still quite serious about their “sea kitten” campaign and are trying to ban the “hunting” of “sea kittens” in the United States.

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×× Lydia Fu

cucumbers, and their clever use of coconuts and parsley. It’s not hard to figure out, but it’s harder to determine the motive. Why would anyone want to watch ads where young men play tennis with a giant carrot swinging to their knees? Or watch old men dance and swing what can only be described as the mother of all squashes, proudly attached to their pants? “This ad is horrible and doesn’t represent me, or any of my friends who don’t eat meat at all,” says Danny Way, a vegan cook based in Vancouver. “I don’t know if I have a higher sex drive, and I don’t care! That [ad] is just creepy!” While some view it as tasteless, it has also strayed far from the message of ethical treatment for animals. Since the formation of PETA in 1980, the organization has strived to raise awareness and focus on the treatment of animals. “Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment, or abuse in any way,” is the message displayed at the top of PETA’s website. But while championing for animal rights, they have been offensive to human ones. In the summer of 2008, a young man was brutally murdered on a Greyhound bus. Tim McLean was 22 years old when another passenger on the Greyhound, Vince Weiguang Li, stabbed and beheaded the young man in full view of the other passengers. Weiguang Li, according to some of the passengers who were forced to witness such

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CA PI L A NO COU R I E R

E E M T Y I R N O GS T S ✍

✍

D A N D L E A R N YO U R WO R

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the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

Changing Channels Charlie Black × Writer It's as simple as changing a channel. War. Isn't it simple, simpler than it was, simpler than we expect Or are we simple because of it? They say that a soldier does more by 7 a.m. than most people like us do in a day But if I lie in bed at 6:59 and dare to bat an eye at the barely-lit shadow of time creeping from the clocks that sit above our heads and mind their own business Then I've done enough, right? I could sit up at 7:01 watching CNN or MSNBC or any other combination of letters that are just as confused as we are, hear about how war is just a waste of death, or protest is just a waste of breath, and Fox News is just a waste of space But let's get serious for a minute. What are we supposed to think of war? Do we get our opinions from Keith Olbermann, or from what our propaganda-laced lips will spread like herpes across the water-cooler drip, go on about how we'd make better generals because we grew up playing Risk? As the generational divides drift farther on, what you're looking at is a bunch of haphazard kids too sheltered in their mother's wombs to feel the Berlin Wall come crashing down on top of them as the Cold War turned to steam and floated past us.

So you ask us, what do we know, and we will ask in return, what do you think we know, and this could go back and forth like missiles across oceans until we get right down to the A-bomb of all questions: What do you want us to know? We live in a day and age where war is just a button away, whether it's channel 3 or PS3 or World War 3 itself. We fight wars live, across provinces and countries and anywhere where XBOX Live Marketplace points can be shared. We used to watch bombs being dropped on Iraq for our primetime entertainment, we witness nations tearing themselves and each other apart on smartphones and listen for the clanging of silos to open. For a generation so in touch, you'd think we'd have some sense of what war is really about But let's face the cold, hard television set and realize that the closest us kids will ever come to f ighting in a war as horrifyingly glorious as World War II will have to come through Call of Duty. Sad, isn't it? That we, in our lifetimes, will never get that chance to fight for such freedom, to die for such a cause, to serve a purpose. The voices in the back of our minds and the back of our pep rallies will go on about how war is senseless And they're absolutely right, it so is. But that doesn't dictate that it wasn't important. The freedom that generations past fought for us to have, this boundlessness we roam about in now.

Pillow Talk Leah Scheitel × Opinions Editor

×× Susan li

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But if you want to tell us how we know nothing of the horrors of war, just consider this so: We've loved and lost people to war. Family, friends, ancestors, heritage, our minds. And maybe when we go to war, we won't be speaking from our rifles but from the mouths of nukes with deafening silence. But conflict is nothing new to anyone. Maybe it's different from the conflicts of a lost generation, the war and its aftermath, but we'll always be fighting our own wars. We're just as scarred, we all have our own war wounds, we all know the pain and the fear and the glory But we're the only ones with the freedom to change the channel.

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Rachel Dratch glanced back at me to make sure I was still awake. We were both laying on a king size bed at a Holiday Inn in Tucson, Arizona. They had screwed up our reservation, so instead of either of us having to share a room with our boss, Lorne Michaels, we decided to share the king size bed, but demanded that extra chocolate be left on the pillows by the maid every morning. “Imagine the pillow fights,” Rachel said upon checking in, making light of the mistake. That is why she was always my favourite – she could turn any situation into a funny one. We got the king size bed, meaning that Lorne Michaels and Bill Maher were going to have to share the bunk beds. Lorne was slightly annoyed because Bill had been trying to convince him that his Clint Eastwood impression was better than Bill Hadar’s. Rachel tore her eyes away from RuPaul’s Drag Race for mere seconds to make sure I wasn’t asleep. “Please don’t go snoring through my favourite show,” she lectured. “You did that last night during Honey Boo Boo, and it was really hard to hear.” “If it was quality programming, I might be able to stay awake.” “Hush. Your talking is worse than your snoring.” “Rachel, do you like Diet Coke?” “I had an IV of Diet Coke in my arms at SNL. It’s the only kind of coke I like.” “If I get you a Diet Coke, can you tell me what it takes to be funny and cute at the same time as a female comic?”

“Only if we can listen to The Velvet Underground at the same time.” I jumped up, fluffed my hair, put on a navy blue sweatshirt that shows cats cuddling in a teacup, and excitedly ran out to get Diet Cokes. I almost didn’t hear her yell at me on the way out the door. “The more you get, the longer I’ll talk.” I was out of breath by the time I arrived at the vending machine, and started filling it with my pocket change. “$2.50 per soda. I’ll get four of ‘em.” “Hey new girl. Quit hogging the machine,” said Lorne Michaels who snuck up behind me. “I need some Coke to go with the rum I’ll have to drink in order to get through another night of ‘Bill Maher as Clint Eastwood and a Chair.’” “Sorry, I’m just getting some Coke for Rachel Dratch. She’s going to tell me about being funny while listening to The Velvet Underground,” I spat out at him, like a hyper little girl. “Oh those are for Rachel?” he inquired, pointing at my armful of Diet Cokes. “She loves it when you do this to them.” He hit my hands and the Cokes fell to the ground. The look of horror on my face was increased when I saw Lorne Michaels scrambling about to pick up all of the dented soda cans and shake them vigorously. “Trust me, she likes them best when they explode in her face.” Taking him seriously, I grabbed the cans, shaking them some more as I ran back to the room. As soon as I entered the room, I threw Rachel a can. She opened it, it exploded everywhere, and she immediately punched me in the mouth.

What does that mean to us, if anything? They killed for us to be able to talk about war criminals, and false heroism, and wander up and down every end of the spectrum to speak ill of our own dead and get away with it. Yeah. We're pretty free to badmouth our soldiers. They'd be so proud.

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the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

Scottgun reviews SOME LIKE IT SCOTT The charming world of Mr. Moraes By JJ Brewis, Editor-in-Chief

SCOTTGUN #1 Connor Thorpe

SCOTTGUN #2 Celina Kurz

SCOTTGUN #3 JJ Brewis

Scott Moraes knows stuff about black and white movies and old records and really cool shit like that. It’s almost intimidating, but his charm makes up for it. One time I read this book that was about this dude who was trying to be a young gentleman in a society that didn’t appreciate chivalry. It sort of reminded me of Scott. Except we appreciate Scott. We bought him pie on his birthday, after all.

Scott! What a dude. One time we hung out on the bus and he told me all about the fact that he was from Europe. I didn’t know that! I thought that he was just a regular dude with an accent. The other day he was keeping track of things with a tally and he did it differently than the way I was used to; it was cool! What’s up with that? I don’t even know. Scott is cool. Also he is kind of home-schooled, which I think is really cool?

“Don’t fucking get me started,” he said. “Even if the pickle residue is left on the bun… you can taste it. Sure, remove the pickle. But the pickle taste is left behind. And that’s awful. It tastes like fucking shit.” I do agree, Scott. Pickles are fucking bullshit. And there, in the nestle of our vinyl Templeton diner booth, I knew that our souls were aligned. I knew that I had made the proper choice in my Courier hiring: you knew exactly what the fuck was up. I don’t need any pickleloving employees around. I bought you a $7 beer that night, and I knew that we were probably spirits, kindred in the most holy of ways. I love you more than I love Dairy Queen sundaes. A big deal.

Scott Moraes Scott Moraes

SCOTTGUN #4 Leah Scheitel

SCOTTGUN #5 Stefan Tosheff

SCOTTGUN #6 Natalie Corbo

I'm no fun. I've never smoked anything or been drunk. No matter where I go, I tend to wear out my welcome faster than an Elvis impersonator. My ultimate dream of consumption is to own the entire Criterion Collection and to try every type of cheese in the world. All I talk about is how awesome Billy Wilder is, and then when you ask me “Who?” I sigh in despair. I have an obsession with all things French (offer me a margarine croissant and die!), and I suffer from chronic insomnia. I'm a riddle wrapped in an enigma encased in a mystery locked in a vault. If you wanna solve the riddle, you gotta stick around and do some work. In a nutshell, I'm like that 2000 page book in a plain hardcover binding that you heard was pretty interesting but will never actually read. Hope you enjoyed the synopsis.

So we’re going around the table at the first Courier meeting, introducing ourselves and saying our favourite fictional character as a “get to know you” kind of thing. I said, “Draco Malfoy because out of all the Harry Potter characters, he’s the most fuckable.” Next up – Scott, and he says some Cary Grant character from a really old Hitchcock movie that I had no idea existed, because the character was classy. I went for fuckable, he went for class. Why did I have to be sitting next to Scott that day? His response made mine look like the WORST ONE EVER. I felt so stupid. If I ever see a shrink, I’m definitely going to bring this up with them – my Scott dilemma. Hey Scott, can you give me some of your class? I could apparently use it.

Do you guys know where the heck Scott is from? I can’t really figure it out. I know he’s not from Canada, because what kind of Canadian thinks that Gordon Lightfoot is the shit? I’ve heard him reference an Italian grandfather, and how he doesn't really like Panago because the pizzas aren't made in a wood fired oven. But we all know that his accent isn’t Italian. He might be Brazilian, but he doesn't wear Pumas. Maybe Swiss, Danish, Greek? Where else do they have those wood fire ovens?

I’m fairly certain that Scott hates Christmas. I can’t “prove” this, necessarily. But I can offer some evidence. First, Scott doesn’t tend to get overly excited about anything. The last two things I saw him speak passionately about were Gordon Lightfoot and his belief that religion and politics shouldn’t mix. Given that two of Lightfoot’s biggest hits are “Rainy Day People” and “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”, I think it’s quite evident that Scott is not exactly an eternal optimist. Second, on the subject of music, his favourite Christmas carol is Fiona Apple’s version of “Frosty the Snowman”. According to Wikipedia, Fiona Apple had “music’s most famous meltdown.” Even the Charlie Brown Christmas song isn’t that big of a bummer as I imagine Fiona singing about Frosty to be. Finally, whenever anyone brings up Christmas in Scott’s presence, all he wants to talk about is Panettone. Really? Your favourite thing about the whole winter holiday season is BREAD? I rest my case.

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Despite what you may be thinking upon first glance, this ScottGun section was not our Fiction & Humour Editor’s idea of a sick narcissistic foray into the world of self-masturbation. It was anything but (I’ll take the blame, it was totally my idea). If there is anything we here at the Courier pride ourselves on, it’s puns. This Shotgun Review section has been around longer than all of us, and it’s something we are always okay for experimenting with. It seemed a natural fit, and despite his initial reluctance, Scott has agreed to let us take over part of his section this week to display how enthralled and overjoyed we are to have him a part of our team/life. Given how much everyone on staff is so passionately enamored with our pride and joy Scott, it seemed only fitting we let you, the reader, into our insightful (and occasionally drunken) interpretations of this wonderful man. Here, then, the Courier’s guide to Scott.

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