Capilano Courier Volume 46 Issue 18

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46

north vancouver

× March 4 2013

issue

N o . 18

It's a business, man deciding between a gallery or a salary Birthright Israel

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Bosa Building Review

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Community Centre Drama

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Sarah Slean

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46 issue N o . 18

CAPILANO Courier TABLE OF contents news

The Staff 4

of this ghettofab university newspaper JJ Brewis Editor-in-Chief

You should really learn how to take criticism

columns

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Packing the perfect camera bag

arts

Giles Roy Managing Editor

Samantha Thompson Copy Editor

Lindsay Howe News Editor

Leah Scheitel Opinions Editor

Natalie Corbo Features Editor

Celina Kurz Arts Editor

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Porn this way

features

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Fights over rec. centres

calendar

16

Introducing: Movie Mondays

Opinions

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Scott Moraes Caboose Editor

Stefan Tosheff Production Manager

Katie So Art Director

Andy Rice Staff Writer

Connor Thorpe Staff Writer

Abortion: the debate continues

CABOOSE 46 issue N o . 18

Moustache erotica

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the capilano courier

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Ricky Bao Business Manager

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The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed.

All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Shannon Elliott Web Editor

Colin Spensley Distribution Manager

Leanne Kriz Ads & Events Manager

× Letter from the editor ×

HATERS ANONYMOUS × ON the Cover ×

lydia fu Currently based in Vancouver, Lydia is from Chicago, and went to Emily Carr University of Art and Design where she received a media arts degree in Animation.

Lydiafu.com/

Featuring: giles Roy

The Voicebox gives you the chance to have your opinion heard, no matter how irrelevant or uninformed. Just send a text message to (778) 235-7835 to anonymously “voice” your “thoughts” on any “subject.” Then, as long as it’s not too offensive, we’ll publish it! It’s a win-win-win, unless you’re a loser.

“Why is Capilano's wifi so terrible?”

Some people have no Wi-Fi! Think about that. They have to go to Starbucks to get Wi-Fi. I mean, can you imagine?

“The cap courier had an article called why isn't there a men's room?”

Aimed at discussing why a women's room is important. Only they didn't. They just said “its important”. As a woman, it frustrates me beyond all belief when women demand to have all these special rights then turn around and preach equality. Women CAN victimize men, in fact we do it all the time. We objectify men and we isolate them.

How many rape relief shelters does Vancouver have for men?

Seriously, if you are going to post an article about why men don't deserve their own room, then actually address why men don't deserve their own room, not how women do. Gah!”

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“Is leah sheitel the same person as anna beedes?”

“Remember that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! :)” “Pisses me off to see the same group of people on the cafeteria couches every day. i wanna sit there but I don’t have an army of friends to get there to reserve a seat for me” Oh my god. This is just like Game of Thrones.

You hear that, everyone?

46 issue N o . 18

Anna was a caring and wonderful columnist who no longer writes for the Courier. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Anna. And most of all, I will never forget that one night. Working late on the catalogue.

Just the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation. And it was pretty good.

Gah, indeed. Never before has a headline caused the Courier so much grief. I suggest you read Celina Kurz’s subsequent staff editorial or JJ Brewis’ letter from the editor, which both tackle this exact topic.

You can find them in issue 16 or on our website, CapilanoCourier.com.

There’s also a heated discussion in the original article’s comment section, which I don’t necessarily recommend reading.

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that bonds like-minded creative types together, similar to any other pocket of our culture and society – to call down upon "hipsters" is just one example of many where society creates negativity out of nothing.

Television dictates this lack of understanding by using editing tools to make characters flat – “the hero,” “the asshole,” “the caregiver.” It’s done simply because it makes the job easier for the person creating the program – they filter out anything that diversifies the character, lazily jumping to the footage they’re looking for that works within the framework they’ve decided that person “is.” A better alternative would be to let these people show their natural complexities. But the producers don’t go there because they think the public is too stupid or incapable of handling such intricacies.

In a writing class this term, I’m preparing a work of fiction that intertwines the lives of four very different characters in the span of only 10 pages. For anyone who has attempted this type of endeavour before, you’ll know that’s a pretty lofty undertaking to pull off successfully.

Writing characters from scratch is challenging, and it’s tempting to take the world’s apparent lead by only giving each of my characters one personality trait and sticking to that, rather than fleshing them out.

But in fiction, just like my work here at the Courier, I want to be a responsible writer who challenges myself and my audience, portraying each character as a multi-faceted human being who has a spectrum of attributes. After all, that’s how it is out here in the real world.

As far as blanket statements go, this one is accurate: we are all flawed.

Even the people in life we love most frustrate the hell out of us because, as much as we love most elements about them, there will always be aspects about everyone that make us want to rip out our own eyeballs.

The world is built on a foundation of differences.

I recently caught wind of some pretty unfortunate comments about myself that a few people in my life had to say about me. It’s not something anyone wants to hear about themselves, and I spent a few weeks in turmoil about how to respond. After irritating my best friend for weeks whining about what to do, we came to the ultimate solution: nothing at all. When people go around saying inane babble, the best reaction above all is to not feed into their stereotypes about you, but to prove them wrong and show them the good characteristics they haven’t necessarily seen.

It’s funny to me that these individuals had gripes with me that seemed to paint me in a very specific light, focusing on certain unflattering elements that, in some ways reflect who I used to be, and in some ways don’t illustrate who I’ve ever been.

I like it when people in my life challenge me because it forces me to take a look at the world from a different lens. The greatest people in our lives challenge us – to our faces, and with respect. They celebrate our victories with us, and let us know what they don’t approve of, or care for, because they want to work together with us to help us become better people.

Humans are complex creatures. Sure, there’s the rare case of a flawless, beautiful and exquisite creature like Ryan Gosling, who seems to be able to do absolutely no wrong, but I’m sure even he stole a rap CD in his youth or has a secret enjoyment for wiping boogers in other people’s food. People exist on many levels, using their personal history to shape a dynamic personality and worldview that, ideally, is both intricate and well formulated. But we, as a society, seem to enjoy nothing more than classifying, categorizing and generally boxing each other in with preconceived terminology that narrows individuals into one-dimensional, static characters. Whether it’s a first impression that leaves a lasting effect, or a buildup of circumstances, many of us think we have ideas of what other people are all about, yet we often realistically have no fucking clue.

Using a blanket statement here (as much as I am fundamentally against them), many Canadians seem to agree that Stephen Harper, for example, is a particularly dim-witted moron. I say this only because I do not know a single person who looks up to him or finds him to be an effective leader. But then you think about the fact that he just celebrated his seventh anniversary in office as the leader of our country. It’s the same situation with Nickelback – they’ve been the punch line of every music-related joke for the last decade, yet they sell more records than any of the “good” musicians we all listen to. It’s interesting because I know nobody who enjoys Nickelback either, but masses of people have spoken, demonstrating that they’re a band worth supporting. What both of these examples illustrate is that, even though in my world the Prime Minister would be Ryan Gosling and Nickelback would be left busking in Surrey, just next door there may be a “How You Remind Me”loving, Conservative-voting individual who has a completely alternative concept of the world. One person’s idea of a doofus is another’s ideal leader, depending on whose personal universe you’re in. What we need to remember is that, while someone like Stephen Harper may suck a lot at leading our country, he also probably has some good qualities – like his passion for cats, for example.

I went to dinner last week with an estranged friend from high school who kept tossing around various labels and terms for people, and I began to grow increasingly frustrated with her language. “Vancouver has really changed since I’ve left,” she said. “There are more hipsters.” The statement seems innocuous, but she used terms like “hipster” to poorly paint her idea of the world based upon a vernacular that has been pre-assigned in our society. It’s a shame because, not only did she come off looking like a left-out-in-the-cold self-assigned “uncool kid,” but she also dug herself deeper with her language that dictates her views on the world. As irritating and narrow-minded as this statement was, it was honestly one of the less offensive things she mentioned in the conversation (she also touched on a mutual friend, who came out as a lesbian years after high school, criticizing her for not doing so earlier on – as if she, as a straight woman, understands the process of doing so at all – but that’s another story.) For my old classmate (and much of the world), a “hipster” is a word for an apathetic, yet well-dressed, young person with no life goals. What they fail to realize is that this “lifestyle” is actually more of an aesthetic style

THE VOICE BOX

× Editor-in-Chief

the capilano courier

Victoria Fawkes is the ultimate survivor. “I went through treatment for leukemia from ages four to six and spent a lot of my childhood at Vancouver Children's Hospital.

Because of this, I like to volunteer with the Canadian Cancer Society and try to make a difference in the lives of kids currently living with cancer.”

A second year Communications student at Capilano University, Victoria is passionate about the written word. She says her time freelancing for such publications as the Outlook and the Vancouver Sun “has helped me realize how much I love to write about current events and inform people about what’s going in the world.” Victoria will soon be starting an intern gig at the Royal Columbian Hospital Foundation, in fundraising and public relations. If you’re looking to buy Victoria a treat, act seasonally. “I’m really addicted to … things like cinnamon hearts, Easter chocolate, and [Halloween] candy.” Just watch out for the medical aisle – “When I was six, I ate an entire package of Fisherman’s Friend cough lozenges and my mom freaked out and called Poison Control.” You can see Victoria’s collection of selfies and nail polish swatches on Instagram, @Purplemountains.

Ksenia Kozhevnikova, an IDEA student at Capilano University, is “unemployed but [I] like to have an abundance of freelance work to keep [me] busy.” A big fan of dragons (she owns slippers of the fire-breathing beasts), Ksenia keeps with the mythical element when asked about her favourite hobby. Ksenia hints, “It involves a sword, a mask, a jacket, and an opponent to fight.” In her role as a Historical Fencer, she has learned the balance between art and physicality, presently preparing for an upcoming tournament in August.

Her proudest achievements also realize a unique balance, mastering both “50 one-handed push-ups in five minutes and a perfected ability to make delicious pancakes.” Ksenia likes “coming home to a lively place,” highlighting a healthy house is achieved in the mantra, “The more pets in the house, the better,” as she’s presently the proud parent of four crested geckos. Her illustrations have been printed in 3x3 illustration magazine and she’s also had comics printed in comic anthologies. If you’re interested in seeing more of her work, check out the cover of the current Capilano agenda, which she “won the honour” of creating. View more of Ksenia’s “fantasy and sci” work online at Kzver.deviantart.com.

JJ Brewis

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NEWS

News Editor ×

Lindsay Howe × n e w s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

SEX IN THE CITY, IN OUR CITY Museum of Vancouver reveals their new exhibition, and it’s sexy Caitlin Manz × Writer Sex Talk in the City is the Museum of Vancouver’s latest exhibition that self-proclaims to “tease out how people in Vancouver learn about sexuality, define pleasure and respond to particular politics.”

The exhibition, which runs until September, has partnered with the Vancouver School Board, Options for Sexual Health (previously Planned Parenthood) and the Queer Film Festival, to bring together a truly multifaceted and unique experience. The exhibit presents not simply a gallery filled with kinky toys or risqué footage, but a full understanding on the history of the acceptance of sexuality in Vancouver.

“The concepts I call the three P’s,” begins Viviane Gosselin, head curator of the exhibit. “The pedagogy, how we learn about sex; the pleasure, how sex is fun and healthy; and the politics – how groups in power have the ability to influence the way we lead our sexual life privately, and as a collective.” The three subjects she mentions are physically what the exhibit is built around, as visitors walk through each as a zone upon entering. The space includes a lot of information in the form of texts surrounding the objects on display. Yet even this is done artistically, as is shown in the first zone – “The School,” which displays many questions asked by local students in sex-ed classes, written on a collection of desks. Examples of such questions include, “How young do you have to be to have a baby?” As well as “What happens if you touch yourself?” The evident naivety of students is followed up by spaces indicating how these students are currently and have previously been educated on sex. On display are past objects used by

teachers to educate their students. These include Furby-esque toys, designed to replicate the symptoms of certain STI’s, as well as certain books once given to students that were later banned, because they contained characters who had same-sex parents. For instance, the novel Asha’s Mums was banned by the Surrey School District in 1997, because its character had lesbian parents.

“The School” space takes a unique turn however, as it presents the idea that children substantially learn about sex through ways other than their schooling. “It’s a learning process, but also outside of a classroom,” Gosselin states. “In ‘The School’ zone we think in terms of the sex-ed experience, but we also pushed that by saying, could people learn about sexuality outside of a classroom?” The tail-end of “The School” zone explores this, raising questions about how modern technology affects adolescents’ sexual knowledge, with the likes of “sexting” and easily accessible online porn. “Pretty much everyone has learned it’s not the only source of knowledge, but people have learned about sex through sexually explicit material seen on T.V., cinemas, online or in print material, and so we talk about that,” Gosselin explains. Yet even this is done with tasteful twists in the gallery, as set-ups representing these issues (including risqué online footage) are displayed through peepholes behind a large black panther (a symbol in the mid-1900s that would appear on T.V to block sexually explicit content.)

From the classroom, the gallery morphs into a

large bedroom, equipped with dressers containing eyebrow raising unmentionables (borrowed from sex trade worker and advisory committee member Scarlett Lake.) The drawers also include a variety of rare sex toys, from the non-penis shaped models created during the ‘70s for feminist lesbians who wanted to steer clear of the conventional heterosexual types of pleasure. Next to these objects lay texts giving a historical background to the items, as well as their relevance to the overall theme of the bedroom area. “With defining pleasure: Everybody should experience pleasure when they think about sexuality, and live it, but it’s likely different depending on your identity and your sexual expression,” Gosselin relays.

“But overall, I think we wanted to emphasize the shared experience of wanting to belong.”

Finally the gallery concludes with the more political and colourful reaction to sex on the streets of Vancouver.

With the acts of buying and selling sex always having been legal in Canada (although with provisional laws in place to provide difficulty for the sex trade), naturally Vancouver has an interesting past regarding sex, which this portion of the exhibit largely showcases. Side-byside are pictures representing contradictory views and previous strikes concerning the sex trade, and past parades and rallies, showcasing the diversity of opinions on the topic of sexual expression, as well as the passion of Vancouverites who fearlessly take to the streets with their beliefs. “The reason people are marching in the street is because they are

extremely dissatisfied about something, and so that means that you have opposing forces – always,” states Gosselin. “We talk about the streets because that is where we celebrate and that’s where we protest,” she continues. “We wanted to show that it’s not like Hollywood, with a happy ending, it’s about putting that tension up of yes, there’s people talking – and also conflicting.”

The overall message to be taken away from Sex Talk in the City is how much of a cultural thing sex truly is. Influenced by those in power, our peer’s opinions, our education on the subject and our own feelings about our sexuality; sex proves to be something that is always adapting. The Museum of Vancouver has created an exhibit that allows people to learn more about an element of our lives that defines us. Visitors are given a sense of history on the subject and how it has evolved, shaping the surrounding people, and leave the exhibit with the understanding that sex represents much more than simple pleasure. “Studying the history of sexuality can tell you a lot about how we, in general, evolved,” says Gosselin. “That’s one of the elements that we wanted to bring forward because we’re not a museum of science, so we wanted to say how much our ideas about sexuality are so historically and culturally situated, that it means that things can be learned – but also that things can be unlearned.” As things in our environment are ever-changing, it makes sense that how we express ourselves privately, with our loved ones, also continues to adapt.

Sex Talk in the City will be at the MOV until Sept.

2. For more information, visit Museumofvancouver. ca/exhibitions/exhibit/sex-talk-city. ×× Photo Courtesy of Museum of Vancouver

BUT I SHOULD HAVE GOT AN A+ New research shows the ability to handle criticism is valuable Lindsay Howe

the capilano courier

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46 issue N o . 18

× News Editor

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“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing,” said famous American author Elbert Hubbard – and a new study suggests that he is right, at least when it comes to students.

Recent research conducted by Psychtests.com, an online source in personality, IQ, and career testing proposes that students with the ability to take constructive criticism will find more success in the job market upon graduation.

Psychtests.com was founded in 1996, and the site itself offers a wide range of thorough testing options including tests that measure emotional intelligence, social skills and emotional eating. The company has since expanded with the creation of Queendom.com, another surveying website. Ilona Jerabek, President of Psychtests with a Ph.D in psychiatric genetics, explains the various branches of Psychtests and their target audiences saying, “For the general public we have Psychtests and Queendom. Queendom.com is focused on women, and then we have Psychtests, typically used by students or men, you know, men don’t necessarily like to take tests on Queendom cause it’s too girly, so it takes a secure man to go into Queendom. But we do have 30 per cent men on Queendom so that goes to tell you there are plenty of secure men.” Aside from testing designed for

the general public, Psychtests also offers services for students, researchers and professionals who are able to use the company’s tests for research and other academic purposes. HR professionals use Psychtests for the hiring process and career development, and psychologists use their tests for the screening of patients.

Psychtests’ most recent research endeavour tested 3,664 participants using the SCRT (Sensitivity to Criticism Test). The test revealed that employees that were put into criticism scenarios and acted defensively, as opposed to being open to their employer’s criticism, were both more likely to have lower levels of job satisfaction, and more likely to have lower performance ratings.

A surprising result to the researchers came in the form of how gender is connected to the reaction to criticism. “What we found pretty fascinating are the differences between men and women,” says Jerabek. “With men, you see that as a group, of course there are individual differences, but as a group men tend to focus on the outward world – so they tend to have more external locus of control, they don’t take criticism as personally as women do. Whereas women tend to internalize criticism, and they tend to take it as if the criticism was focused on them as a person rather than specific behaviours or actions or decisions.”

While the SCRT consisted of studying the participant’s reaction to six complex factors, including the assessment of their negative emotional

responses directed at others and themselves, and their negative or passive aggressive behaviours, Jerabek explains that the root of the problem is internal. “It’s pretty complicated but the bottom line is if you have low self-esteem you are going to have trouble taking criticism, if you have trouble taking criticism then you are not really getting the appropriate feedback because you are discounted or you exaggerate the response. In any case, the criticism itself is not sinking in, and really, feedback, even if it’s negative, is quite important for us to grow – so if you can’t take that, it definitely is going to impact your performance in a workplace or in school and you are going to be much less engaged because of that.”

Breaking inherent personality traits can be difficult, as people have programmed themselves to respond to certain information in a designated way, but there are behavioural adjustments that can be made to alter the way criticism is dealt with.

In a recent Psychtests press release, the company offered their suggestions as to how to better deal with criticism, citing letting go of ego, truly accepting who you are, and being an active listener and learner as their top tips for breaking out of an anti-criticism attitude.

In terms of assessing whether or not people as a whole are able to grasp these ideas and implement them into their own lives, Jerabek notes that only time will tell. “Society is changing, we do our validation studies on a bi-annual basis because

gender roles are changing, and the economic situation is changing. People are becoming more aware of certain issues such as emotional intelligence. [It] is gaining in popularity, people are more aware and paying more attention to their emotions, and concepts like these are developing constantly so it is important to keep on doing studies like these – not just for validation purposes but for advancement of knowledge as well.” Jerabek adds, “… We don’t know everything. We’ve come a long way but there’s still so much we don’t know, and life is so complex that it is difficult to understand all the different facets and how they play among each other. It’s important to keep on doing research and advancing knowledge.”

Jerabek advocates people being aware of their feelings, and taking the time to participate in these types of studies and tests online to understand the impact emotions, and in this case the ability to accept constructive criticism, can have on people’s everyday lives.

“Eventually you will end up less satisfied with what you are doing, so in order to take constructive criticism [it] has a huge impact on people’s careers and personal lives as well, because obviously none of us are perfect. We need some kind of feedback so we can identify where we need to grow, and where we need to put our effort, and if we block our access to that information – that is not going to be good for [the] development of work and personal relationships, either.”

THE JUNKIE YOU KNOW Former addict making change on the DTES Christina Lamanes × Writer Detoxing on a “cement slab” in jail from an $800/ day OxyContin habit; this is where Mark Lindsay found himself at the end of 2008, after being terminated from, and having all his assets seized by, Investors Group. In the throes of his addiction, he was sniffing ten 80mg pills a day as well as cocaine, using his clients’ – including his family’s – money to upkeep his disease, managing money for a gang, and falling victim to one overdose.

After a day in that jail cell, Lindsay was released because there was not yet sufficient evidence to press charges. After a week of detoxing medically and safely, Lindsay’s parents sent him to Clear Haven Center in Chertsey, Quebec where he graduated from a 90-day program. After moving to Vancouver, Lindsay suffered a relapse from heroin on the Downtown Eastside. “At that point … I was really starting to fear for my life and that’s when I decided to go see an addictions doctor about methadone. Methadone is a harm reduction product for people that are detoxing from opiates. It helps take away the cravings …

I look at it no differently than say like, a diabetic and a diabetic has to take their insulin every day to combat and keep the diabetes under control. And for me that’s the same as methadone; I’m managing my disease if you’ll call it that. For me, I’m managing my addiction.”

During this time, Lindsay still had no idea whether or not he would be sent to jail for his offences. In 2011, he was charged with 13 counts of Securities Fraud and one count of Breach of Trust. Lindsay escaped jail time however because

he was not a violent offender and had prior community involvement. So how did it get to this?

Lindsay came from what most people would consider a normal upbringing: played junior hockey, was active in his community, graduated high school, attended the University of Western Ontario, a year early in fact. He was motivated and eager to get started in his career and making money. Upon graduation Lindsay excelled in his career. At 21, he started at Investors Group as one of the youngest financial advisors ever hired.

By 23, he was bringing in six figures and was promoted to Branch Manager. And in 2007, Investors Group named him one of the top 15 Branch Managers in all of Canada. As Lindsay explains, “Basically at 25 I was introduced to OxyContin at a work function by a gentleman that was in my division … I took a line of OxyContin and from there, I didn’t stop for three years.”

When asked why he took that first line he replied, “It was mostly just curiosity and again that’s what I think about when getting out here with the Alley Outreach Project and talking to kids about it, maybe to take some of the curiosity away … and if they’ve heard about it and heard about how bad it can get with painkillers and things that they can take from their parents’ medicine cabinet, if they maybe, you know, had heard a story like mine or if I had heard a story like mine I would have thought about it before I did it.”

These are the types of goals that have surfaced through the Alley Outreach Project of which Lindsay founded in 2011. It began with Lindsay simply going for a walk to Pigeon Park, handing out water and talking to people. “I realized it’s a community down there, it’s not like an eyesore for the city.

It’s people like you and me who are dealing with

different issues … so I started to realize that it was a community that maybe needed some real personal connection to get better. Just having shelters there that are reactive, I wanted to do something that was proactive, [to] get out and meet some people.” Through his doctor, Lindsay got in touch with St. George’s School and began speaking to students in grades 11 and 12, as well as faculty members and parents, telling them his story. Lindsay spoke of the bond that has been created between the AOP and St. George’s, as the project was really piloted there. “The involvement of these young kids, that you know that are focused on the future for themselves, but also to get them to understand that while they’re working on themselves, take just a little time and give, to invest your time in others.”

Currently, AOP consists of about 30 to 60 volunteers who, on a bi-weekly basis, meet at Oppenheimer Park and hand out toques, hats, thermal socks, candy, and other items to those in and around the DTES. Lindsay’s five-year game plan for the project is to build a drop-in centre where people who are serious about their recovery can come in and discuss their options; as well as an emergency shelter that will be open 24 hours a day. Though after applying to several law schools this year, Lindsay’s ultimate goal is to run a nonprofit legal practice out of the shelter, to provide legal aid to those who have little or no means of getting legal representation on their own.

Lindsay is realistically strategizing with hopes of government funds and fundraising, aided in part

by Capilano’s pro-bono public relations services, allowing his non-profit to grow, hopefully, into a registered charity by this summer. The students of the Media Campaigns 495 class at Capilano

REEL ADJUSTMENT bosa centre students reflect on new facility Andy Rice × Staff Writer

The summit will be at 5:30 p.m. on Mar. 11, and everyone is welcome to attend.

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Communications 431, instructed by Dr. Michael Markwick, will be holding a Communication Freedom Summit on the evening of Mar. 11 in the North Shore Credit Union Centre for Performing Arts. The event will feature a panel of communication specialists answering thought-provoking questions from the students of Communications 431, a keg of beer, and comedic entertainment following the summit in the form of the Shit Harper Did comedy tour. Markwick explains, “We’re looking at the health of communication freedom and democracy in Canada and so specifically under the Canadian constitution, do people feel confident in their ability to embrace communications … do people feel they have the means to participate as citizens and actually do democracy?”

The summit was implemented into Markwick’s course curriculum to give students answers as to why they have been previously mistreated by the government, and to ensure they know their rights for any future encounters. “Students are under a lot of pressure, as are the faculty and staff in terms of the devices that we use every day and the way these devices are intrusive, the way the devices can put us under surveillance, the way the devices can make us vulnerable to bullying.

I’ve had students who have been pulled aside in border crossings and have had their cell phones examined, including the people that they know on their phones. I’ve had students who have been subpoenaed for following WikiLeaks on Twitter, so the pressures are real and that’s why we’re doing it.” The event, which will feature some of Canada’s leading authorities, will essentially examine what is legitimate, and where a Canadian’s rights start and stop. Markwick says, “Moving forward, I’m hoping people will have a better command of the core things that are ours as a citizen, what our core rights are, how we can protect ourselves … and not take for granted that we live in a democracy, and that we can participate in making this democracy better and stronger.”

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For more information on the Bosa Centre open house please visit Capilanofilm.ca.

By Lindsay Howe,News Editor

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delivered. “It’s kind of a rigamarole to get somebody in here,” said Wight, as the building’s elevators require key cards for activation on weekends and after 5 p.m. on weekdays. “If you’re doing auditions you have to get somebody who’s just sitting at the door letting people in, which is a pain for the students. The side effect of that is that it’s pretty safe in here, which is of course nice to have with expensive equipment. You can’t just have strangers wandering through, especially when there’s things that cost $100,000 or even $500,000.” Students are granted or denied access to various rooms of the building according to their year and program of study and nighttime security measures have also been put in place, says Wight.

“They … work here often late into the night editing and we do have a policy that after 11 p.m. you have to be two people in a room because that’s when it really dies down in here. It’s just too big of a building to be alone in one corner.”

One special exception will be allowed on Mar. 9, when all the various rooms of the Bosa Centre will be unlocked for the department’s annual open house. Potential students and members of the public will be allowed to go behind closed doors for an interactive tour of the facilities between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m. There will be live demonstrations by the 3D, visual effects, and costume departments as well as film screenings and a meet-and-greet with current students and faculty members. “Most faculty are there and we have a ton of students that come out and volunteer,” says Wight. “I don’t know what our turnout is but it’s hundreds and hundreds of people here. It’s a really fun, busy day.”

NEWS IN BRIEF

the capilano courier

It’s been just over a year since the students and faculty of Capilano University’s film and animation program were given the keys to their shiny new home. The Nat and Flora Bosa Centre for Film and Animation opened last January amidst much fanfare and after several construction delays, replacing the aging P Building with a $30 million state-of-the art facility. The move added a host of amenities to the department, including 8000 square feet of studio space, a 200-seat theatre, multiple visual effects labs and professional 3D camera equipment. It also brought several programs together under one roof. Commercial animation and digital animation were previously housed in the Arbutus building and shooting space was spread out between classrooms, the Library building and the smaller outpost adjacent to it. The visual effects program was a new addition altogether.

Ki Wight, an instructor for the motion picture arts (MOPA) program, says the new facility has been a springboard for the entire department. “The quality of the films has gone up exponentially because we’ve been able to add gear, technical equipment, and we’ve been able to increase the quality of the technical equipment because we also have space for it,” she explains. “I think the curriculum has really been enriched.” ”Interpersonally it’s a nice place to work,” she continues. “It feels like a good, healthy building; you walk in and you feel that. It’s not a dark dreary musty kind of place. You talk to the actors that are coming in for the student shows and they want to be here because this is a beautiful place to be.”

David Pfrimmer, a MOPA student in his fourth year, agrees. “It’s just been way nicer,” he says.

“People take us more seriously because we have this facility now, which is really good.”

Despite offering a cumulative 69,000 square feet over three floors, however, finding and booking available workspace remains a challenge.

“It almost seems like … I don’t want to say it but it might even be too small still,” says Pfrimmer.

Enrollment has steadily grown and will reach capacity next year, with a total of 120 students set to graduate from the third and fourth year cohorts. “We’re still having scheduling problems in this building because production values have been higher so people aren’t looking to little dark corners to shoot their films,” says Wight. “They all want the studio. They’re all aiming high and the studios are just booked around the clock and the gear is booked around the clock, with turnover time required in between. As faculty the biggest growing pain of all this growth is that the curriculum doesn’t always make sense for the scale anymore.”

The hours of the building’s café don’t always make sense either, according to Wight and Pfrimmer, although both say they still consider the service to be “a godsend.” With the Bosa Centre located at the opposite end of the campus from the main cafeteria in the Birch Building, trips back and forth can take time. “Having that downstairs is really good,” says Wight, “but the food services hours are not in line with our teaching hours, our student hours or anything like that. Plus, they shut down for exam period and we don’t have exam period. We run all the way through to the end of the 15 weeks. [Students are] still doing project work right up until the last minute and so when they need it most it’s not there. That’s when the pizza boxes start lining up.”

Building security poses a few challenges as well, especially when trying to have those pizzas

are helping to build the AOP’s social media presence, and organizing events such as the BBQ in Oppenheimer Park, set to take place this spring.

Lindsay is quick to point out the importance of community in addictions recovery. “One of the things I often say is that the only difference between my recovery and the people that can’t recover or are having serious troubles in their recovery, is the support system I had. That’s the main difference, my family stood by me through thick and thin.” It is this type of support system that Lindsay is aspiring to create for those suffering from addiction and mental illness on the DTES. It’s about making connections with individuals who are in need of comfort and normalcy.

“I tell people when I do public speaking that it’s the whole fact that if you can get out and touch somebody with a smile, like these people they don’t see, you know, clear eyes and bright faces with a hope for the future down there. It’s very foreign to them and they want that kind of understanding. They like telling their stories.

And I like hearing them. I find it to be the most interesting thing in the world to understand where all these people come from. Cause they’re mothers, they’re fathers, they’re brothers and sisters and they have been through things, just like so many things that we can’t imagine. And they’re … a really resilient group of people, I find.”

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Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

GROWING PAINS

Robert Catherall × Columnist

Riding the Rails of Mass Transit Metro Vancouver boasts the longest driverless rapid transit system in the world. With three existing lines plus the forthcoming Evergreen Line to Coquitlam, the West Coast Express, and the proposed Broadway corridor line to UBC, we’re not doing too badly for a metropolitan population of 2.5 million. Along with many other transit riders I have always wondered, if Vancouver’s SkyTrain system doesn't require drivers to operate it, why does it shut down between the hours of 1:30 a.m. and 5:30 a.m.? Moreover, given the recent changes to Vancouver transit, including fare hikes across the board and the introduction of the contactless Compass Card later this year, it will be interesting to see if the city can succeed in increasing ridership.

Copenhagen, whose metropolitan population is only half a million shy of Vancouver, operates a driverless system 24 hours a day, while New York City's driver-operated system also tirelessly runs through the night. “SkyTrain has an on-time service performance rating of about 95 per cent,” explains TransLink spokesman Derek Zabel. “One of the main reasons for this high level of reliability is SkyTrain’s robust maintenance programs, many of which are carried out at night.” The 27-year-old Expo Line receives the majority of this late night maintenance, to ensure these high performance levels are maintained.

The solution for late night transit, according to TransLink, is the infrequent (and often unfavour-

able) night buses. “Demand overnight is mostly quite low and most NightBus frequency is set on a policy basis,” says Zabel. He would not go into detail on what the governing policy was, however.

Meanwhile, according to a recent study conducted by GPS manufacturer TomTom, Vancouver is the second most congested city in North America, only after the emphysema-inducing gridlock of L.A., whose metropolitan population is over five times the size of Vancouver. In fact, four of the top five most congested metropolitan areas are on the West Coast, also including San Francisco and Seattle, while the enviable destination of Honolulu rounds out the list.

Given the young age of these cities, this statistic comes as no surprise. With a cultural assumption that cars would replace walking, Vancouver, Seattle and San Francisco all have small to midsized walkable downtown centres, while the majority of the population lives in expansive suburbs, necessitating an inbound commute for many.

During the Olympics, the West Coast Express operated similar to the SkyTrain, acting as an inbound and outbound shuttle with expanded service hours. Immediately following the Olympics, however, the West Coast Express sadly reverted to operating strictly for inbound commuters, running only westbound in the morning and again only eastbound in the evening.

When asked why the Express doesn’t service outbound traffic, Zabel explains, “West Coast

Express was established as a commuter rail service primarily to serve commuter demand to downtown Vancouver during peak periods.” Lack of service was again justified by a lack of demand: “We committed to review current and future demand for the service and expect to conclude that process this year, including considering if there is sufficient demand to warrant more peak service, travel in the opposite direction, or off-peak demand.”

Until last September, Seattle’s King County Metro Transit operated a free shuttle bus service within the downtown core. It was an initiative that began in 1973 to reduce the loading times on the Seattle's congested inner city buses. While officially there is no free transit in Vancouver, the similarly justified, yet unofficial, backdoor boarding on B-Lines is a generally accepted practice for both passengers and drivers, who turn a blind eye.

For a number of them, the reduced loading times are the only way to stay on schedule. Of course, as many of us may or may not like to admit, the lack of turnstiles means the SkyTrain can be taken advantage of in a similar fashion. Being asked to produce evidence of a fare purchase is rare and riders run little risk of ever getting checked by SkyTrain employees, a worthwhile gamble for many riders.

This could all change in the near future as the Compass Card comes into effect later this year.

A prepaid contactless charge card activated by an RFID chip that allows riders to enter and exit buses and SkyTrain terminals, much like Seattle’s

ORCA and London’s Oyster card, Compass could jeopardize the opportunity for riders to freely enter through the rear doors of inner city buses. The specifics of how backdoor loading will be affected has yet to be detailed. Turnstiles at SkyTrain stations, however, are already in place, putting an imminent end to free rides.

Having seen some of the world’s greatest (and worst) cities, Robert believes Vancouver can become the former. However, it will not happen without some growing pains. Through his writing he intends to show that development can have a positive social effect, but only if we are willing.

×× Tiare Jung

An Inordinate Fondness For Beetles The Salad inside your lawn

Evelyn Cranston

the capilano courier

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× Columnist

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Every dietary choice is significant and carries consequences. When I eat, I try to think of why I’m eating, why I chose that item, where it was produced and by whom, and so on. Among the thousand things running through my head when I eat, biodiversity was never high on the list.

Perhaps it should be. According to the Food and Agricultural Organization of the United Nations, the world has over 50,000 edible plants and many thousands more animals. From leafy green plants to sea animals, to the microorganisms in yeast, the best foods come from the earth.

However, conventional food choices are dictated by corporate giants, so a standard diet excludes the amazing array of possibilities offered by biodiversity, in favour of mass quantities of a few profitable crops and nutritionally devoid pseudofoods. Rice, maize and wheat provide 60 per cent of the world’s food energy intake, and processed foods are often more readily available and more affordable than whole foods.

By considering biodiversity in diet, we could look locally to explore more sustainable and creative ways of eating. Ever had a salad of swamp hedge-nettle with salal berries? I never have, but I could; they’re edible and native to B.C. It feels strange that I’ve never tried gemmed puffball mushrooms, which grow profusely in Lynn Canyon Park, but I’ve had gummy bears made in Turkey.

Tricia Edgar, education programmer at the Lynn Canyon Ecology Center, recommends Western hemlock needles. They grow in most

people’s yards, so you don’t need to travel far to find one – you just need to make sure you’re eating the right tree. She states, “The needles are really good for you; they have tons of vitamin C,” and, “they’re very lemony-tasting and fresh.” Eating trees, who knew? Eating with biodiversity in mind coincides with eating locally; it just means we have to expand our definitions of edible.

Local eating is trendy right now, thanks to lower transportation costs and more local economic support. However, local eating doesn’t have to just include conventional choices, like apples and cucumbers. Invasive species are one example of how we could utilize local biodiversity for an interesting food source, while also solving an ecological problem.

Invasive species are plants or animals that are introduced from another region and disrupt the local ecosystem. They often lack natural predators, or have foreign defense mechanisms, allowing their populations to grow exponentially. When one species dominates an ecosystem, they upset a delicate balance and other species starve, suffer and lose habitat. So, we spray and pull weeds, and kill off the extra animals. When done carefully, these methods can help restore balance to an ecosystem, but as they’re currently applied, they’re wasteful.

For example, Capilano just hosted an invasive plant species pull. Commendable, but they might have overlooked the potential for a good meal. Edgar is very familiar with invasive plants, and states that Japanese knotweed is one of the worst. She says, “[Japanese knotweed] tastes sour, it’s good

with potatoes. You can use it in stir fry. I blended it up and mixed it with potatoes and milk, and made a lemony-potato soup. It was pretty good, and my daughter ate it with no complaints.” However, she advises precaution when harvesting the plant. She ate it from a friend’s garden because, “One of the things that people do to kill Japanese knotweed is that they inject it with pesticides.” It’s best to find a safe, organic source of the plant. As well, when uprooting the plant, be sure to leave no trace of it behind, as an entire plant can regenerate from a single piece left behind. After the next invasive plant pull, how cool would it be to cook up the harvest and serve it to students?

Similarily, Victoria, Cranbrook, Invermere and Kimberly have all struggled with huge deer populations, and Vancouver with pesky white snow geese. All of these cities have either carried out or discussed culls, a method of killing off enough of the species to get it under control.

Sometimes, culling may be the right, or only, solution to dealing with these species. However, it’s also another example of local species we could eat, that we’re overlooking. Considering Vancouver’s struggles with poverty and hunger, it strikes me as negligent to dispose of these animals’ bodies in a landfill. With careful control, treatment and testing procedures applied to culled meat, we could have less problem species, less hunger and more of the benefits of eating locally.

Veganism, the ultimate reverence for animals, is probably seen as the friendliest choice in regards to biodiversity. Thousands of habitats for non-target

species are destroyed in creating grazing ground for cattle, or dealing with their waste. However, crops like soy, quinoa and palm oil also have detrimental effects on the biodiversity of the area they’re grown in. A diet can be respectful of ecosystems and species and include meat, but it should be local. A locally culled problem deer is a far different creature than a pig raised in a far away factory farm.

If it makes sense to eat weeds, overpopulated animals, or unconventional plants or animals, then why not? Ironically, biodiversity would thrive if we ate more plants and animals. Straying from cows, pigs, wheat and corn would open up more habitats for other species to thrive, and leave room for imaginative eating. Imagine filling your plate with culled geese from Kits Beach, and weeds, berries and mushrooms from the back of campus!

Note: Edgar strongly recommends going out with someone who is familiar with identifying plant and mushroom species, as some local species are lethal when ingested. As well, large-scale harvesting within a protected area, like Lynn Canyon Park, is prohibited.

Evelyn Cranston studies environmental geography at UBC. After considering all possible majors and feeling interested in all of them, she decided going with the study of the world would be a safe bet. She likes long walks on the beach, searching for dead starfish, barnacles and old kelp clumps.

THE APERTURE OF BEING

Melissa Dex Guzman × Columnist

Don't Be Bagged Down A picture can be worth 1000 words, but only if it’s a good shot. And often, having the camera is simply not all you need with you to effectively do the job. My camera bag doesn’t just hold my camera. It carries items that hold and carry me while I'm working.

THE CAMERA ESSENTIALS Always be prepared. Sometimes I’m not sure how light or dark the environment will be, and I often end up staying longer at an event, working around dying light. In this case, always bring a fast lens and an external flash. I am still a firm believer in minimalism so I try to keep a maximum of three lenses on hand in order to remain mobile. If you’re packing all the heat you possibly can, it will be harder to move around. It also becomes more of a liability if you are relying on stashing your bag somewhere hidden.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY If you can stand to do it, dual wield your cameras. I’ve been dual wielding for five years for

several reasons: One, it sounds badass; two, in the unfortunate case of one camera dying, you’ve still got another; and three, you capture every moment by not having to swap lenses. I once saved a fellow photographer during a wedding shoot by having two working cameras on hand when theirs became compromised due to moisture. I’ve also had dust get into my camera from switching lenses, making an air blower and a microfiber lens cloth musthave kit items. (For those who have shot a GWAR show, you might know about the showers of fake blood and other bodily fluids that influenced this kit item.)

EARS BEFORE BEERS Before I became a concert photographer, I was a concert attendee – a frequent one at that. Over the past decade, I’ve noticeably lost some of my hearing. I regret not bringing earplugs to shows sooner. The first time I realized I absolutely needed earplugs was during the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games with every event sporting top-notch production and with that said, top-notch sound. Luckily another

photographer gave me a pack of orange disposable foam earplugs that to this day, I am certain saved my hearing. My partner-in-crime for concerts now has tinnitus due to neglect of ear safety. If you want to save someone’s hearing, bring a whole pack with you. I am so thankful of my first orange foams and I will never forget it: a true gift.

you, you’ll be remembered as “the photographer with the rancid breath.” It sounds shallow but I’ve seen it happen. A band I shot told me, “The photographer next to you reeked of fish breath.”

You don't want that and I don’t want that to happen to you. Bring some cherry cough drops or maybe Tic Tacs. I like the orange ones.

NETWORK LIKE A BOSS

PARTY TOOLS

Every bag and wallet you own should have at least five business cards in it. It’s embarrassing how many times someone came up to me just because I was holding a big camera and I realized I’d left my cards in another bag. Your cards should be everywhere! Nothing is more humiliating than trying to type your website URL into an unfamiliar phone, or in some worse cases, having to try to spell out your name in a chatty full-house crowd. In the worst-case scenario, I’ve missed giving out wanted contact information due to a press for time.

It’s been a few years since I quit smoking clove cigarettes, but I still bring a lighter and a bottle opener. (I also use an e-cigarette for idle activity.) Some of the best candid conversations you can have are outside the venue; whether it’s with fellow media, concert attendees, or even the band.

Fans know what to expect from their favourite artist, and can offer a heads-up on what to look for before shooting a show. Fans are passionate about the music they love and knowing that they’ll be looking out for your work, you’ve got a goal to achieve.

Along with other random things in my camera bag unrelated to camera gear – namely hair ties, permanent markers, and bandages – the equipment I take with me is not just to equip me to become a machine. I aim to make my photos relatable. Through networking, talking to people and diving to get that perfect shot with safety precautions taken, I can only hope that I’ve become efficient – but remember to breathe as a human being, not just a mechanism.

YOU MIGHT KNEE’D THEM ONE DAY I dive for my shots. Literally. My friends thought I was making a joke when I said I was going to “invest” in kneepads for my camera bag. But the day I underestimated the length of a show where I was shooting ground up, I blew my knee and couldn't walk for two days. Another awesome thing about kneepads is that they're soft and also act as padding for other lenses and accessories you might keep in your bag. Plus you get to look like a Ninja Turtle.

HOLD YOUR BREATH Mints and gum are a must have. Dinner and a concert sounds like a great night and the two usually go hand-in-hand. But what if you ordered extra garlic and onions? If anyone speaks with

×× Melissa Dex Guzman

GARDEN CITY OF GOOD AND EVIL MLAs Behaving Badly

× Columnist

they are supposed to be actively participating in democracy, our elected representatives look like they are trying to escape – they read their thick binders, they play on their laptops, they text with their BlackBerries. When they do engage they stick to a script of staged debates, predetermined votes, and relentless boosterism for their party’s brand.

The citizens who come to see their democracy in action aren’t permitted to bring their electronic devices in to the gallery, or to talk to one another, or to even take notes. We must sit in solitude and listen to the monologues, and any entertainment value heckling provides is cut by embarrassment at the pettiness of our high officials. So I sat and listened to a parliament dragging itself limply towards its imminent demise. Let the Legislative Chamber stay empty, it’s now only one more mandatory stop on the never-ending campaign trail.

46 issue N o . 18

Max Olesen, a recent graduate of the University of Victoria, is a freelance writer and political enthusiast. He will use his column to help illuminate the workings, failings, and eccentricities of our provincial government and its fearless leaders from the front lines of the City of Gardens. Follow Max on Twitter at @WritingOlesen.

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been to: “So…how was that?” When my brother and I took in 10 baffling minutes at the Danish parliament, the security guard bluntly said to us: “Fairly boring, was it not?” It had been boring at the B.C. Legislature, but I had hoped to be bored by the details of worthy initiatives, rather than campaign sound bites and canned anger.

I felt sorry for Shane Simpson, having to endure rude jeering while trying to have his say, until I realized that that’s exactly what he was there for. Having the Legislature in session has become something our democracy does to make itself feel better about a bad situation. To watch a fully occupied Legislature in the heat of Question Period, righteous questions and snide answers volleying back and forth, is honestly exciting in the same inane way that reality TV is exciting. This excitement doesn’t really help steer the ship of state however; it is more like seeing a luxury train car skipping the rails.

These days there are a thousand ways for attention to be drawn to government proposals and opposition grievances through the mainstream press or social media, and these are generally received more attentively than speeches made in empty legislatures. Albert Camus wrote, “Tyrants conduct monologues above a million solitudes.”

In a democracy it isn’t much different. When

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government to the curb come Election Day, he had the right to say what he wished without the schoolyard catcalls from the government side.

Politicians behaving worse than children in a parliamentary debate is hardly shocking. Mass fistfights have broken out in the parliaments of Ukraine and South Korea, among others, and even a city council meeting in White Rock allegedly included one councillor stabbing another in the face with a pen. It is one thing to read about or watch YouTube videos of this misbehaviour, but it’s another story to sit there and experience it yourself. The only bonus is that the Chamber is lot more beautiful in-person than it is on TV. Most of the heckling was unintelligible, but I made out something like “Yeah?! Well, so were you back in the ‘90s!” in response to Simpson’s assertion that the Liberals have been fiscally reckless. While the heckler is correct, I can only think that these snide remarks were done strictly to make these politicians feel better about the overall incompetence and ineffectiveness that has plagued the Legislative Assembly. A sort of “Yeah, well, you suck too!” to boost morale.

When I left the gallery that day and claimed my bag, the youngest security guard asked me a version of the question I have been asked by every security guard at every legislature I have ever

Max Olesen

the capilano courier

It’s hard to sit in the visitor’s gallery at the B.C. Parliament Buildings, look over the railings at our elected officials down in their pit, and not feel that the public stage of our democracy has become the home of farce. This February, our MLAs returned to the Legislative Chamber in Victoria for the first time in nine months. They were there to endure one last round of legislating before the provincial election on May 14, so I headed down to watch the unofficial start of the election campaign.

During the days I spent watching MLAs caper about, I realized that my previous complaining about the lack of legislative sessions was seriously misplaced. No public policy work is actually done when our politicians sit in the Legislative Chamber; it is more of a performance art space where election campaigns are re-enacted daily, in miniature.

On one of the days, I watched Shane Simpson, NDP MLA for Vancouver-Hastings, give a drawn-out address on what he sees as the fraudulence of the government’s new budget.

Every speaker in the Assembly gets a chance to say their piece, but Simpson’s turn was accompanied by the constant bellowing of some backbench blowhards. While Simpson was not positive on the government’s fiscal credibility, and was unabashedly partisan in his call to throw the

Melissa Dex Guzman by day is a systems administrator, and moonlights as a rock and roll wedding photographer. It’s like the Bruce Wayne turning into Batman complex, but less dangerous (and probably not as cool). Her published credits include SPIN, CBC Radio 3, and TEDx. Melissa also served as the Director of Photography for Ricepaper Magazine. You can harass her on Twitter via @m3lissa.

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Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

SATURDAY NIGHT LOVE

Leah Scheitel × Columnist

When even SNL won’t help In my dating career, I have been stood up a total of 14 times – I’ve counted. But the most recent one hit me the hardest, as I was kept around waiting like a duped character in a John Hughes movie. Picture an older Molly Ringwald, crying into a plate of homemade sushi, questioning every minute possibility why this guy would stand her up.

I had reasonable grounds to be surprised and shocked by this. I had been seeing this guy for three weeks, and we were really getting on. We rode bikes weekly (we called it “zoom zooming,” where we would drink multiple cups of coffee and then race our bikes down the street), and when I was drowning in homework, he’d come over just to rub my temples so I could relax without leaving my desk.

I sent him a confirmation text around three in the afternoon, asking him if he was still coming over.

“Sure thing,” his text read, “See you at seven.”

By 8:30 p.m., I was certain he wasn’t going to show, and starting stuffing my face with all the food I prepared, streaks of mascara running down my face.

Getting stood up in this harsh of a manner rattled the entire foundations of my self-esteem.

I have been stood up before, numerous times. But getting stood up isn’t one of those things in life

that gets easier the more times it happens. It gets drastically more difficult, as each time it gets less easy to place blame on the guy. This time I just so happened to spend $75 on groceries and a bottle of wine, and a whole afternoon making food, between cleaning my apartment.

All of the 13 other stand-ups made this one more difficult to get over. The only common denominator between all of these guys was me – and therefore I blamed myself. Not just for this recent one, but for all of them. It brought up insecurities from years ago, like the time a guy made up a faux funeral, just so he wouldn’t have to go for coffee with me. Each instance lacks an element of respect, one that I believe everyone deserves. It’s also just confusing as to why someone would bother making plans with no intention of keeping them.

This wave of bad dating memories sunk me to such despair that not even SNL reruns on Netflix could combat. I was crying at work, avoiding friends, and restraining myself from calling this guy in a fit of rage, telling him what a jerk he is. I was so consumed with “what-ifs” that I thought of every excuse that he could have had, and ranked them in order of acceptance. I was even worried, thinking maybe he got hit by a bus on his bike and was lying in intense agony with two broken legs in a ditch somewhere along Victoria

St. I went so far as to ask my philosophy instructor if it was my moral responsibility to find out if he was physically okay.

“So the guy stands you up, hurts you emotionally, and you’re wondering if it’s your onus to find him or not?” he reiterated.

“Basically. Maybe that’s why he didn’t make it over.”

“And maybe he’s just an idiot,” he replied, “You’re not his wife. You have no responsibility.”

My obsession over this deepened throughout the week. I didn’t have any clue as to what happened, and I was drowning in my own confusion, blaming myself for something that I didn’t even know how to rectify. And now that time has made me less emotional about the situation, I can see how unhealthy I was at dating. There were so many cracks in my confidence that one blow to my esteem and the entire thing shattered. I put too much weight into what these guys thought, what they did and why they mattered, that the rest of my “cool” factor didn’t hold any weight in the equation. It didn’t matter that I can name every single Tina Fey joke from her Weekend Update days, or that I can accomplish crossword puzzles like a boss, or that I’m learning how to play flute.

To me, these are all cool things, but none of them mattered to me if I couldn’t impress a guy with them.

It wasn’t an overnight change, and I’m not repaired because of this one realization, but I’m a work in progress. I started seeing a counselor about my esteem issues, am letting my friends know what happened and am being more actively social, even on Saturday nights (I now stream the latest SNL on Sunday mornings. They’re almost funnier when plagued with a hangover). It’s far from perfect, but at least it’s something, and I’m not sure it would have happened without a harsh and rude disappointment in my dating life like that stand-up.

There’s also silent revenge. I buy beer for my little sister, and in return she prank calls this guy, pretending to be a girl named Chrissy, asking why he stood her up for their date at the Rumpus Room.

“Don’t say you don’t remember me,” she lectures. “We totally met the other night, and we were supposed to play Jenga. Thanks for standing me up, dick.”

In the end, that’s all I want to say to him.

The next couple of pages provide great detail about the break-up (it happened at a SkyTrain station, I was on my way to a party with him, he said he never really loved me), but those reminders didn’t prevent me from doing the classic high school routine of getting back together with him, before he dumped me a second time a week later. The post scriptum scrawled at the bottom of that entry reads, “I need to guard my heart.”

I don’t need to tell you that that relationship fucked me up for a long time.

Granted, there are things besides my high school “love life” in those pages – exclamations of new friendships that I was excited about, but simultaneously terrified to lose. The recounting of the first time I was offered alcohol – by my friend’s dad. The dread of what would happen after graduation, and what I would do without the teacher who had given me advice on countless occasions (yes, I was one of those kids).

As hard as it is to re-read journal entries, they contain tidbits of advice that I unknowingly left for myself, all those years ago. Those fears I had at 17 are still real, but I’ve grown a lot as well.

Reading a journal entry will make you feel like some kind of time traveller, seeing your own innocent words years later and knowing exactly how everything is going to turn out. You want to reach out and protect 17-year-old you, to tell yourself that this jerk doesn’t get to ask to be friends, that you do get into the university you so desperately want to, and that the loss you feel in your heart from your parents’ divorce is never going to go away.

But you can’t. It’s already played out, and you can’t do anything about the outcome except for

learning from your mistakes, recognizing your accomplishments, and moving on. The art of writing is that re-reading your words will help you remember, prevent repetition of errors, and ultimately make you grow. Figuring stuff out is hard, but writing it all out helps me gain perspective, and remember the positive things when alone my brain seems only capable of remembering the negative.

Things are never going to be easy, but we can at least help ourselves make things a little less complicated. As my 17-year-old self so wisely put: “Today, I helped myself. All I need now is for things to start falling into place, my questions about everything to be answered, and for me to find my own rhythm again. That shouldn’t be too hard, should it?”

Leah Scheitel lives her own life like a sketch comedy. In this column, she will explore the stories and anecdotes of her love life and their correlations to her favourite late night comedy show. Her self-deprecating wit and candid nature make her our very own Kristen Wiig. And we’re pretty okay with that.

× staff editorial ×

DEAR JOURNAL, You are my pensieve Samantha Thompson

the capilano courier

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When I was five years old, around the time most kids are creating their first imaginary friends, I had an imaginary advisor. His name was Bob (original, I know), and he wore a butler suit.

Other kids would play with their imaginary friends, but Bob would hang back – advising me when necessary, and being my confidante when things got rocky. That’s not to say I had a rough childhood – my fondest memories involve collecting Muppets dolls from McDonald’s while my sister was being born and my grandpa was looking after me, and deciding to hate crows forever when I discovered they’d eaten the ducks’ eggs and left them in the driveway of my grandma’s farm. But I did get to deal with a messy divorce and a slew of unfortunate events that followed. As I grew older, Bob began to fade and my new confidante came in the form of a million different notebooks, each hiding my secrets. In high school especially, writing in my journal was an obsessive pastime.

For some people, writing is a chore. “How do you write?” they’ll ask me, as if it’s something I can give them a checklist for, something I can teach in a matter of minutes. But for me writing is not something to simply do – it is a place of solace.

For others, this comfort is found in music, in film, in art, but when it comes to writing, it is obvious that I have always used it as a means of escape.

When my parents’ divorce first began, I scribbled down all the possible reasons for their hushed conversations in the kitchen, in what would be the first of many journals. “Dad broke his leg

again?” was one of the many illogical conclusions I spewed, because as a seven-year-old, divorce was a word that was non-existent in my vocabulary.

Writing was there for me again when I lost my great-grandparents, my first experience with death: I immediately took pen to paper and wrote a poem to express my confusion (it included some pretty painful rhymes, but to this day remains framed in my grandparents’ hallway). Writing takes the thoughts swirling around in my brain and places them on paper, much like Dumbledore’s pensieve.

Sometimes this will help things to make sense, but more typically it just gets them out of my head so I can move on.

A couple of weeks ago I came across the journal I wrote in during grade 12, leading into my first year at Capilano. A lot happened in that time period, although in hindsight it was pretty much your standard grad year: I went through my first heartbreak, grieved when my friend was killed in a car accident, and tried to figure out what to do about a friend I believed to be suffering from alcoholism.

The difference between an imaginary advisor and a journal is, the words the journal hears tend to stick around, and frankly, the journal entries are hard to revisit – each sentence brings back a wave of emotion that I was in a hurry to forget. As difficult as they are to relive, each entry presents the opportunity for me to learn a lot about myself.

In this particular grade 12 volume, there are four pages dedicated to my first boyfriend, including our complicated break-up. “I told you my friends thought that you’d been using me,” I wrote in my fake letter to him, “And you said the worst thing – ‘Maybe your friends were right.’”

×× Stefan Tosheff

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FRENCH FRIED Poutine festival celebrates Francophone culture in Vancouver Andy Rice × Staff Writer “We’ll see what’s going to happen this year, but mark my words, we might be looking at disaster number two,” says Alexandre Brabant, laughing as he recounts the potato shortage that stopped last year’s Festival de la Poutine de Vancouver in its tracks. Brabant is the mastermind behind the event, and the co-founder of Francouver.ca, a guide to Francophone culture and activities in Vancouver. For the past few months, he and his team have been chipping away at preparations for the city’s second celebration of all things poutine.

“It was a very successful marketing stunt and I’m very proud of this, but at the same time it was also a disaster of massive proportions,” he continues. “This time around, we’re going to manage the door better and we’re going to try to manage the supplies better and believe me, we’re going to have all the contingency plans you can think of … We’re preparing ourselves for a storm.”

The fry supply for this year’s festival has been doubled to 1,200 pounds, with the ability to cut and blanch more potatoes in a big hurry if needed, says Brabant. In addition to renting more fryers and recruiting a larger number of volunteers to help out in the kitchen, he has also moved the

event to the larger venue of Heritage Hall on Main Street.

“We’ll have a decent amount of space there but it’s still nowhere near big enough to accommodate the demand that the folks of Vancouver have,” he says, adding that last year over 2,000 people showed up in the afternoon alone, devouring 600 pounds of potatoes in under three hours. Organizers were left scrambling to regroup in time for the evening when the doors were set to re-open, and many festival-goers were advised to head elsewhere to get their fix. As a result, the festival’s main sponsor, La Belle Patate, experienced a sudden late-afternoon swarm at their Davie Street location, one that soon decimated their poutine supply as well.

“People like to eat poutine as a group, that’s what it seems,” says Brabant. “We’re quite excited that we’ve come up with an idea that’s quite popular, and we use that as an opportunity to share the French culture.” Poutine is one of Quebec’s most distinctive exports, dating back to the late 1950s when the combination of fries, cheese curds and gravy first started to catch on.

The idea soon spread across the rest of the country, becoming one of the few uniquely Canadian foods.

Now, it’s not at all uncommon to see restaurants devoting a place on their menu, or even their entire menu, to poutine. For Brabant, the addition of a festival in Vancouver – a city where the

Francophone population is an estimated 35,000 – seemed like a logical next step.

Brabant says that even though advance tickets have already been sold out for several weeks, a limited number will remain available at the door on the day of the festival. “If [students] want to come out, they have a better option to come in during the day,” he suggests. Similar to the inaugural festival, this year’s event will be divided into two portions: one that will take place from noon until 5 p.m., and another from 6 p.m. onward. The afternoon has been designed to be family friendly, with affordable $10 tickets for adults, free entrance for kids, and a host of games and activities – everything from tastings to temporary tattoos, to a build-your-own poutine station. The evening’s festivities will be more adult-oriented, featuring a DJ as well as an experimental tasting designed to push culinary boundaries and stimulate the senses. Admission is $20 and both the daytime and the night-time ticket prices include one poutine, to help get the party started.

“It was really popular last year, it is also massively popular this year and I’m guessing it will keep being the case for years to come,” Brabant says, adding that while the French-Canadian community organizes the event, it has been designed to be very Anglophone-friendly. Even the music has been chosen to appeal to a variety of

backgrounds. Alternative indie rockers Liftoff will headline the festival’s music line-up, performing twice throughout the afternoon and evening.

While guessing the exact number of supplies for an unforeseen number of attendees is virtually impossible, Brabant assures that he and his team have tried their hardest to accommodate the projected demand not only for this year but also as the festival continues to grow. “We’ll soon be announcing the poutine festival for next year in a couple of months, and we’re going to shoot for a much bigger venue,” he says. “We’ve been working really hard to make people’s experiences the best possible. They are going to love it.”

Festival de la Poutine de Vancouver takes place at the Heritage Hall (3102 Main Street) on Mar. 9.

For more information, visit Festivaldelapoutine.ca or Francouver.ca.

×× Stefan Tosheff

ZINE THERE DONE THAT Safe Amp hosts zine workshop, people learn about zines Katherine Gillard × Writer

Celina Kurz × Arts Editor

Safe Amp’s main goal might be to get a venue, but the message they want to portray, and what they tried to emulate with this workshop, is that it’s easy to just go out and do something. DIY events and crafts are a great example of how to share our knowledge. As Hanson says, “People from anywhere can just put things on a piece of paper.” Maybe that person could be you.

To learn about future zine workshops, email zinesvancouver@gmail.com. For more information on zines check out Zinelibrary.info and Brokenpencil.com/getting-started. *Names have been changed

Where You Can Find Zines In Vancouver Lowercase Reading Room at the Regional Assembly of Text VPL Central Library zine collection

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directors and a zine enthusiast, points out the benefits of this growing trend. “The idea of a library is that it’s like a centre for information. And in allowing and welcoming and creating a space for zines in a public institution like [that] … it’s giving credit and value and legitimizing information that was made by an average person.”

She continues, “Instead of closing the library off to ‘experts’ and people with PhDs and people who are writing a novel, it means … information is something that can be shared between real people. [Zines are a way of ] horizontalizing information.” She also points out that if you’re expecting a uniformly polished product, you’re looking in the wrong place. Zines can range from carefully handmade art objects, to black-and-white photocopied and folded info booklets.

When Felix Hanson* initially became interested in art zines, he made his own by collecting submissions from his “weirdo art friends.”

However, when he started hanging out at a local shop that contained a zine library, it opened his eyes to what zines could communicate. “[There were] a lot of political and activist zines and that’s when I really remember being like, ‘Woah cool!’

These can be a form of expression artistically but also really a politically charged thing.”

While zines do have strong roots in radical politics, they can still be light-hearted. One of the examples of a zine provided at the workshop featured a little green goblin questioning his life in profound and bizarre ways, such as talking to animals and himself, and one of the attendees was working on a zine about the history of tea. Zines can follow any train of thought along the spectrum from serious to silly.

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Everyone is an expert on something: that’s the sentiment that zines represent. If you can think of a subject – from alternative medicine to party games, to workers' rights to life stories, to art to bicycle mechanics – there’s probably a zine, or many zines, about it. And if there isn’t, why not make one?

Adrienne Labelle, a member of the education committee and the board of directors of the Safe Amplification Site Society, helped organize a recent Zine Workshop at the Mount Pleasant Vancouver Public Library. While Safe Amp’s ultimate goal is to start an all-ages venue, Labelle explains how the ethic behind zines is linked with the DIY music scene. “We [Safe Amp] have nowhere to go, so we’ll make our own shows happen, but we want it to be accessible – and zines kind of have that same ethic. It’s super easy to make a zine, it’s super easy to put on a show.”

The workshop saw a great turnout, with over 20 attendees of various ages learning about, and making, their own zines.

Frankie Lemon*, who co-curates a zine library from her house, describes zines as “really crucial to DIY music culture.” The word “zines” actually originates from “fanzines,” which were brochures where people involved in the DIY scene wrote about their favourite bands. People would then read the zines, and discover the bands that they

might not know about otherwise. “What I like about zines is that … it’s like a document that travels like word of mouth,” says Lemon.

Zines are also an important media for spreading ideas that don’t fit in with mainstream culture, and have been instrumental in spreading and supporting various subcultures and activist movements.

Lemon points out the Riot Grrl movement of the mid-1990s, where a few zines passed between friends in Olympia and Portland, grew into an international community of people.

While for a long time zines remained underground, they’ve recently started making their way into libraries. Carly Ramsay, who oversees the zine collection at Douglas College’s library and led the workshop, explains, “The first academic library I heard about that carries zines is Barnard College, which is a liberal arts college for women in New York. They mostly collect zines about feminism and zines created by women. They proposed the collection in 2003 and launched it the following year.”

Douglas College’s collection started small and grew, including a variety of topics including art, First Nations history, gender, feminism, politics, prisons and labour issues. The library provides a great stress-reliever for students who want a creative outlet and also want to share their work – which the library welcomes. “Zines encourage participation from the community because patrons are encouraged to donate their zines and contribute their ideas to the public,” explains Ramsay.

VPL’s main branch in Vancouver has a zine collection, and their Mount Pleasant location will also soon be starting a collection. Marita Michaelis, who is also on Safe Amp’s board of

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A night of campy covers Event raises funds for local rock camp for girls Victoria Fawkes × Writer

Celina Kurz × Arts Editor In a world where young women can have trouble finding their voice, local volunteerrun non-profit organization Girls Rock Camp Vancouver (GRCV) strives to help girls embrace their independence through rock music. On Mar. 8, International Women’s Day, the organization is throwing an all-covers live music showcase called “Cover Me” to raise funds for this year’s upcoming summer camp. The event will feature both campers and volunteers from past years.

“There will be pop bands, punk bands, singer/songwriters, electronic musicians, and some campers ranging from 11 to 17 years old who have continued playing music outside of camp,” says Sarah Buchanan, one of the organizers of GRCV. Members from Hot Panda, Lisa’s Hotcakes, Manhug, Wintermitts and more are all participating. The event is buddying up with CiTR’s Fundrive fundraiser happening the same night at Chapel Arts, offering a discounted rate to anyone interested in attending both – $10 for one, $15 for both.

The money raised from Cover Me will go directly to the camp, and subsequently back to the campers. “This means equipment rental, daily hot lunches and snacks, financial aid for any

campers who need it, and all the odds and ends at camp,” says Buchanan. “Even though camp is 100 per cent volunteer-run, it still costs more to operate than we recover from tuition. We want to keep it accessible to everyone, so we make up the cost difference through donations and fundraising activities.”

The first official rock camp for girls happened in Portland, Oregon in 2001, with the aim of empowering female youth using the power of rock. This inspired similarminded organizations to pop up over America, eventually finding their way to cities in Canada, and Sweden.

As Buchanan says, “To put it simply, camp is the most inspiring place in the world. The energy is incredible. You can walk into any given room in our camp space and see campers jumping around with guitars, playing drum solos, having a dance party, designing band logos, singing, and generally exploding with creativity.” On top of lessons for a key instrument, campers also participate in workshops on songwriting, music equipment, self-defense and screen-printing, to name a few.

The campers divide into bands on the first day, and throughout the week they have to work together to name themselves, design their band logo, and write one song which they perform at the camper showcase on the final day.

The atmosphere at camp aims to be supportive rather than strictly guiding; as a volunteer and camp leader, Buchanan sees herself

as a facilitator of what the campers are already capable of. “Our job is to help facilitate this experience and teach some lessons along the way, but what I love about camp is that as volunteers and organizers, we are simply enabling the expression and creativity these campers already have, and allowing them to build on this as a team.”

The media, community and peers that a girl grows up with can all be detrimental forces to her confidence and self-worth, something that Girls Rock Camp is trying to change. “In a culture where women are often told to be quiet, keep to themselves and worry about how they look more than how they feel, being in a camp environment that throws these ideas out the window is empowering for everybody,” she adds.

To Buchanan, the camp provides a space that is sorely needed in our society – but unfortunately, capacity is limited and it’s impossible for them to let everyone in who could benefit. “Every time we run camp, or an event, or even just have an organizer’s meeting, I realize how much we have already changed the lives of many young women, and how many more lives we could change with stable funding. Imagine if we had space for all of the young women who wanted to come to camp every year!” enthuses Buchanan. “This city would explode with amazing all-ages shows, and we would see a huge influx of women in music in Vancouver. We want to change the landscape for women in music.”

She posits that it’s not just within music that

Girls Rock Camp Vancouver aims to help female youth learn to make noise: “We want young women to feel empowered to face and dismantle the barriers they face every single day, not only in playing amplified music, but in their everyday lives. More importantly, all of these campers would take this experience with them for the rest of their lives; the knowledge that if they can learn an instrument, write a song, and perform it for a huge crowd all in one week, they can pretty much do anything they want.”

It’s not just musical skills that the campers develop over the course of the week: it’s the confidence that they can do something they previously thought was impossible. “I can see the importance of camp grow each year in our campers as they walk out on stage at our showcase performance with increased confidence. The change we see in campers from the first day of camp to the last day is incredible, not just in musical ability, but in how they carry themselves. I've seen eight-year-olds walk out there and own the stage in front of 500 people like they’ve done it thousands of times. It stuns me every year!”

Cover Me is happening at the Russian Hall on Mar. 9. Entrance is $10, or in combination with CiTR Fundrive, $15. For more information on Girls Rock Camp Vancouver, visit Girlsrockcampvancouver.ca.

THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF ARRIvAL Sarah Slean masters art of duality JJ Brewis × Editor-in-Chief

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“Enlightenment, for a wave in the ocean, is the moment the wave realizes it is water. When we realize we are not separate, but a part of the huge ocean of everything, we become enlightened. We realize this through practice, and we remain awake and aware of this through more practice. The wave does not need to die to become water. She is already water.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh

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“That [passage] was kind of a defining metaphor for me when I was making this double record,” says Sarah Slean. On the creative voyage of her newest output, Slean literally stood on a cliff, watching whales in the bay of the Atlantic Ocean looking for inspiration. “I think that’s what all great art is about, bridging that gap between our temporal reality and the eternalness of things like imagination, of the mystical experience, of a knowing or intuition of eternity or infinite consciousness.”

Of all the waves in Canada’s cultural waters, Sarah Slean is one of the most fascinating. The journey for the Pickering, Ontario native has been a winding one. Though she credits Tim Burton and Leonard Bernstein as two of her inspirations, Slean’s artistic world is sincerely her own.

Slean’s discography reads like a well-crafted poetic journey, going deep into the emotional trenches and back again.

A lot has changed for Slean since she first began releasing music in 1997. As a performer who has always penned her own tunes, the nearly 20-year

Having hit “rock bottom” in those records, span has given her much breathing room in terms of where the music originates and what comprises Slean found herself at the end of the tunthe records themselves. “In a certain sense, I’ve nel. “I felt like I needed to take off all the really come full circle in terms of the writing false skins. I didn’t know who I was,” she says. process,” she says. “We’re lucky as recording artists On her latest outing, 2011’s double album that we have this kind of record of our progress or Land & Sea, Slean wrote from a brand new mind-set.

“Land & Sea was decline, spiritually or philosophically.”

Slean views her oeuvre as a reflec- really the beginning of trusting my connection to tive overview of her personal journey – whatever it is that gives me the music – letting marking her highs, lows and otherwise. that come at its own pace, letting it come however it comes – if it comes with After pouring her a 21 piece orchestra, so be entire history into her it.” On Sea, Slean does just “educated fantasy” mathat, whereas Land delivjor label debut Night ers classic Slean-style pop Bugs in 2002, Slean’s tunes. Together, the album evolution would take tackles the theme of what place. “I did hear in Slean sees as the ultimate my voice a kind of human conundrum – uncertainty, a real fear duality and “co-arriving.” and holding back. I grew Land & Sea is Slean’s out of that as the records most lofty undertaking to went on.” Up next was date. The project speaks what Slean calls “a real to both sides of human crisis-mode record,” duality, a concept Slean 2004’s Day One. “That ×× katie so has been fascinated with was the record when I went to live in a cabin in the woods for about five for most of her career. “The Buddhist concept months … [I was] waiting for the world to give me that I love is of co-arriving. That the good and some direction.” Despite the dark imagery and the bad are inexorably linked, they cannot arrive lyrics of that record, Slean’s dark days were almost separately, as all the pairs of opposites do that over, capped off in 2008’s The Baroness, which Slean we can possibly think of,” she says. Thus, Land describes as “the back cover of a book I started & Sea carries this pairing in an undoubtedly with my independent records. It was the last dregs tangible nature – marrying two separate entities of writing from sadness, the end of too much that could not exist without the other. “What I’m describing on [Land is that] we are individual self-analysis.”

personalities limited to a single consciousness …

We have bodies and they get old and they die, and yet the Sea side is that we understand that we are part of this eternal continuum. That’s the great mystery from whence we come and where we will return to.”

Not only an accomplished musician, Slean has also stepped into the shoes of multi-disciplinary artist. “To me, it’s all the same. It’s all coming from the same place,” she says, speaking of her body of work that ranges from painting to poetry compilations, as well as a foray into film, most recently in the French film, The Translator. Slean sees cross-medium exploration as a natural endeavour for the creatively minded. “The experience of art and the expression of art, receiving these impulses, and electing to go through the little adventure and bringing it in the field of space of time – it’s such an act of love.”

Slean’s legacy, though, is her unabashed musicality, not just on her albums, but in her stage productions. Whether performing solo or with an orchestra, Slean in concert adds another dimension to her work – juxtaposing her “poetically opaque” lyricism with in-person banter that creates a connect between audience and music. “I feel like in concert sometimes you need to give people a way in. And that’s just what my relationship in-between songs is about. That’s what the personal connection is about, it’s kind of a ‘Come this way with me.’”

Sarah Slean plays the music of Sea backed by a full orchestra, Mar. 6 at the Rio Theatre.

PORN FOR EVERY body new website aims to offer accessiBle and inclusive porn Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer Like it or not, the most common emotion associated with pornography is shame. Despite its widespread availability and consumption in Western society, porn and porn viewers still find themselves the subjects of disdain and ridicule either over the perceived emotional infidelity, or desperation associated with it. Charlie Spats, queer porn performer, director and founder of progressive, positive and inclusive queer porn crowdsourcing project Pornforeveryone.com, is trying to change that.

“I think that shame is still totally prevalent. It can kind of depend on your community – obviously in my community, everyone is sex-positive and absolutely adores porn and is pretty open about it, but that’s a very small portion of the population,” says Spats. “A lot of people still have a lot of shame about watching porn. Even the idea of being attracted to someone who is not your partner, and seeking some sort of other sexual exploration through images can be a huge, big deal for people.”

Porn For Everyone is launching with a kick-off party featuring DJs, a photo booth, burlesque performers and screenings of all current

scenes.

In response to the stigma surrounding the viewing of porn, Spats began directing his own scenes within the queer porn genre, which preaches inclusivity, positivity and accessibility. “Porn For Everyone is a queer porn site that is designed for everyone in two different categories. On the one hand, it’s part of the queer porn genre, which aims to encompass all genders, sexualities, body types, races [and] abilities. Absolutely everyone is meant to be represented in the content,” Spats says. “Also, the site itself is designed to be super accessible in that everything is going to be available for free on the site.”

Porn For Everyone follows the model adopted by websites like Wikipedia and other media products – offering high-quality content for a flexible and optional fee, rather than setting a predetermined fee. Spats hopes that offering a heightened level of availability and inclusivity – just like the content featured in his scenes – will increase the desire for participation amongst porn viewers.

“At this point, it’s pretty much a given that people are going to be able to find free porn on the Internet, so rather than tucking my scene behind a membership [and] rates and hoping nobody pirates it, I’m just putting it all out there for people to watch and have access to – then, if they like

it, they can choose to pay for it,” Spats explains.

“I’m hoping with the structure of a site like this, I can increase the sense of community and lower the shame that people feel in watching porn, and I think that that community feeling will keep this site alive.”

As a genre, queer porn is relatively new, originating roughly a decade ago. Spats traces its origins to performer Courtney Trouble. “She sort of was the first one to come up with a title for this porn that was all-inclusive and allowed performers to show how they wanted to be represented on camera, rather than being told what to be on camera,” he says – noting the key difference between the practices of queer porn and the mainstream porn industry. By empowering the performers to dictate the content of their scenes, queer porn positions itself as counter to the tradition within more commercially driven porn, which often ignores audiences it sees as unprofitable.

For Spats, the discovery and fandom of queer porn is what launched him into his current project, while solidifying his confidence and broadening his view of trans people in a sexual context. “Initially, I was a fanboy of the queer porn industry. I sort of considered myself a professional fanboy,” he says. “I watched a lot of queer porn – I

was so drawn into it because, as a trans person, I had sort of succumbed to the idea of ‘oh, I guess I’m just going to be unhappy with my body for the rest of my life, nobody will find me attractive ever again.’ Then I saw trans people in a sexual context for the first time ever, and I saw people using their bodies and loving their bodies and having other people love their bodies and I thought that was such a revolutionary image.”

Drawing from the growth he experienced as a result of exposure to queer porn, Spats hopes to tear down the social constructs of shame related to the participation in and consumption of porn.

He wants to make porn – truly – for everyone.

The Porn For Everyone launch party is Mar. 7 at Little Sister’s Book Emporium (1238 Davie St.).

Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door. 19+.

Pornforeveryone.net launches Mar. 9.

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TOUGH CROWD Toro Y Moi plays Pied Piper to Biltmore JJ Brewis, Editor-in-Chief To see, or to be seen, that is the question. At least it certainly seemed to be the case at the Biltmore’s recent appearance by South Carolina’s Chaz Bundick, professionally known as Toro Y Moi. To say the show sold out quickly is an understatement – I have never seen such a flooding of Facebook posts and personal inquiries looking for tickets to a show of this size. And despite knowing it’d be a packed house, I still couldn’t brace myself for the events to come on a rainy Tuesday night in the East Vancouver hot spot. Toro Y Moi’s albums command a lot of presence, and the live incarnation – which bumps Bundick’s one-man shtick up to a four piece – certainly translates well for the most part. But it’s hard not to talk about the jarring crowd who, despite being in the presence of such blissful music, couldn’t seem to behave, even in the slightest.

That said, Bundick and his band of merry men were graceful in the face of rowdy non-listeners who appeared to be displaced from a Granville St. club crawl. Shouting, brash un-attentiveness

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was rampant here, creating a disconnect with what was, on-stage, a charismatic lens into one of the more interesting and prolific electronic musicians in today’s scene. The performance and production elements for a bar-sized show have always been Toro Y Moi’s strong point, and it’s never a surprise when he just gets on stage and kills it. Wielding a powerful secret weapon – the still fresh Anything in Return – didn’t hurt, either. With its ambitious rock elements adding a welcome depth within the electro framework he’s created, Return nestles well

in a catalogue that also touches on funk and pop.

It all simmers into a surprisingly low-key pop show though, which adds to the perplexing nature of the chaotic crowd, detracting from the captivating and colourful performance. Did Bundick secretly want to depart from the Biltmore and create a Pied Piper like parade, leading the loud obnoxious crowd members off a cliff to their untimely doom? It’s hard to say, but the music he’s creating has the power to create that effect.

OF BEAKS AND CROWNS National Ballet of China soars with Swan LakE

Tanya Moyer, Writer

Adam Jennison, Writer

Darlene Brewis, Writer

Waka Flocka Flame just released his new mix tape and, as usual, it's quite predictable. You can't really say his music is good – it’s uncertain if he's speaking actual words half the time, and he uses the same five instrumental loops on every single release. But it’s hard to deny that this triple-platinum grill-wearing gangster can make a catchy tune. A Flocka song can be identified instantly: his brand of “I-don’t-give-a-shit” rap music has become extremely popular in the dance clubloving mainstream music world. To help with his allure, he’s always got his crew on deck, following past collaborations with Nicki Minaj and Drake with Rant 2’s inclusion of both Gucci Mane and Lil Wayne guest spotting. What he marks as “punk rap” comes off as an extremely chaotic and obnoxious mess. Between the bouncy synths, gunshots, overabundant foghorn blows and shoutings of random words such as “squad” and “flex” every 10 seconds, it barely leaves space for his rhymes. Flocka said it himself, “I ain’t got nothing to do with lyrics.” Waka’s lyrics tend to be very repetitive from song to song: he's always got some gal in his Ferrari with a big old ass and a pocket full of racks. Nevertheless, Waka Flocka’s sound is, in many ways, the first of its kind in the rap scene, and has led to a series of copycats. There's no real convincing necessary: you either like Waka Flocka’s music, or you don't. I personally adore this southern gentleman.

As the title of his new effort, For Now I Am Winter suggests, Ólafur Arnalds seems to be on the path to self-assuredness. The mood teeters around the edges of a heart-wrenching longing and an enduring hope for things to get better. Arnalds finds himself framed by the deep chill of Nordic winter, played out through somber melodies of keys and squelching synths, with backing strings and winds swooping into the foreground to provide a sense of relief. The juxtaposition of instrumentation and tempo, from the delicate to the climactic, are reflective of the boundaries Arnalds is pushing against. As he has mentioned in interviews, his work is too classical for pop and vice versa – this tension is more present than ever here. On the surface, Winter seems to give more precedence to Arnalds’ pop side than he has shown before. His croon is almost Jónsi meets Top 40 R&B, and the backing rhythms that unfold on songs such as “Reclaim” and “Old Skin” are his most accessible yet. Nonetheless, Arnalds does not compromise his classical roots, and his instrumental compositions, such as the gorgeous “Hands, Be Still” remain his most powerful. For Now I Am Winter is Arnalds realizing a true balance in not only his music, but within himself.

Making its provincial debut, the National Ballet of China paired with Ballet BC in its presentation of Swan Lake at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre for a four-night stand. The grace and beauty of one of the most adored classical ballets had its Vancouver audience hooked instantly.

A production of this size is breathtaking, given its attention to detail. Peter Farmer’s sets were truly something to behold – the lake and forest scene that bookends acts one and three gave me a feeling of romance, and the excitement that comes with finding your one true love. Act two’s palace interior showed the ostentatious nature of royal life, with ceiling-high drapery and columns that extended to include video art illusions.

Pyotr Tchaikovsky’s timeless soundtrack is quickly recognizable, and despite not being produced by a live orchestra, the magic the cast created onstage was more than enough to make up for it. This musical arrangement and its pairing with Natalia Makarova’s pristine Russian choreography may be heralded as one of the most perfect artistic marriages ever to hit the stage.

Even without the sets and costuming, NBC’s rendition of Swan Lake would have shone bright based on the merit of the dancers alone.

Every performance was complex and athletic, yet graceful in authenticity of this ballet. The entire show was an emotional voyage wrapped up in a fantasy fable that has captivated audiences since the 1800s. Where else can one find a storybook arc where an evil sorcerer turns maidens into swans, and has a prince fall in love with one of them, creating a tumultuous battle in the name of love?

Swan Lake truly has it all. There’s humour (the sorcerer wears a kooky pointed hat matched with a sweeping rubber-looking cape), inner turmoil (act three focuses on the maidens’ realization they will remain swans forever) and ultimately, sadness – the final scene was a jaw-dropping beautiful image of

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the now deceased and together forever Prince and his true love Odette, standing high on a mountain.

The almost-sold out crowd seemed to immensely enjoy the performance, giving the dancers nearly half a dozen standing ovations at its finale. This ballet was the most enjoyable two and a half hours I have spent in a long time. My only regret is that I was unable to attend the other three performances.

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NATALIE CORBO

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Centres for All Communities 40-year-old system to be replaced Carlo Javier × Writer

Dividing Up the Pie

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The six opposing community centres are not going down without a fight.

One of the main causes of concern is the possible effect on the quality of facilities and services the plan will have. Some community centres generate more money than others, thus they have more funds to spend on their respective associations. With the new operat-

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We Work Hard for the Money

What About Quality?

ing system, the sharing of revenue aims to make centres more equitable, but others worry that it could also mean a downgrade in quality for some.

Blyth maintains that downgrades should not be a concern, saying, “Please be assured that all programs and services now being delivered at the community centres will continue, uninterrupted. Senior’s services, childcare, youth sports activities and other key programs and services will continue.”

The concern of bringing down standards of a community centre could be traced simply to their significance to the city.

“They serve a symbolic purpose of enhancing culture, they sort of make us feel to be truly part of this community, and the activities we successfully execute in them are something we can almost be proud of,” says Braeden Durfee, another community centre member.

Derek Han, an avid gym user, says, “I think they are important, but in different ways – it’s a local place for several different groups in the community to have sporting events and what not.”

But he also questions the revenue sharing plan, asking, “If the city is trying to assist those with low income, why not take a cut from the City instead of the facilities?”

Furthermore, Han voiced his opinion on the possibility that revenue sharing may result in a downgrade to some gyms, pointing out that “there’s always little details that make me feel uncomfortable and I feel like that’s more of a problem, and I think if quality does get affected, these problems would get emphasized.”

Community centres play a large role to their respective neighbourhoods: The West End Community centre alone offers over 300 programs each season.

However, the debate is far from over. On Feb. 26, the park board voted to proceed with public consultations and further negotiation with the community centres, before a plan is put in place.

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The current operating system in place has been in use for the past 40 years, and in her official statement to the city, park board chair Sarah Blyth said that the motivation is to update the system to further and fairly meet the necessities of the communities.

The new agreement was to include several aspects. One was making the community centres more equitable through the redistribution of revenue. This means that the money generated by the 20 volunteer-operated community centres would be pooled into the park board, the board gains control of the majority of the revenue, and redistributes it accordingly. Given the economic diversity across the city, some community centres are flourishing and some are struggling with lower

Ainslie Kwan, the president of the Killarney Community Centre Association told the Vancouver Sun, “When we’re still seeing pooling of the revenue and still seeing the park board dictating the terms of the negotiations, we question whether or not the process will be true and transparent.”

It’s apparent that members of the opposed community centre associations feel that it’s as if they haven’t been given a fair chance to voice their further opinions. Even the Marpole-Oakridge community centre, considered by the city to be among the “have-nots,” has proposed alternatives to the park board plan. In a recent survey by the Mustel Group, 48 per cent of the participants opposed of the plan, 22 per cent were in support, and the remaining 30 per cent were neutral or undecided.

Public reception to the plan has also been largely negative.

Comments on the Vancouver Sun’s report are overwhelmingly opposed to the developments; one user has labelled it as a “supplementation of paycheques.”

In light of the public opinion that the park board has been dictating the pace of the negotiations, De Genova offered a revised motion that, “would call for eight public meetings with commissioners in all four corners of the city, to engage the public in consultation over the very controversial community centre model that has been proposed.”

De Genova further reiterates her emphasis and the importance of consulting the public’s opinion, saying, “First of all we have to do public consultation before we can implement any plan, this is a plan that will affect community centres across all neighbourhoods in Vancouver, before the park board can implement any plan, I think we need to do public consultation.”

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To the right of the West End Community Centre is the educational sanctuary of a library.

Inside is an ice rink, which hosts a variety of activities, such as hockey and skating lessons, and also a fully functional fitness centre. It’s a great combination of important activities that every community should have access to. The centre is a 50,000 square foot property that’s also equipped with a licensed pre-school, a children’s care centre, a pottery studio and an auditorium. Not all community centres in the city are created equal though, and the Vancouver Board of Parks and Recreation recently proposed a new revenue-sharing plan that would make the “have” and “have-not” community centres more equitable.

The deal, which has been highly controversial, would have transferred the total revenue from the 20 volunteer community centres, and the park board would be tasked with redistributing that income with the goal of equity in mind. However, just prior to press time the park board voted on an amendment to go forward with public consultation and further negotiations with the community centres, before putting a plan in place.

budgets, and this plan could allow people in every neighbourhood access to more similar resources.

Ultimately, no centre would be financially left out in this project.

“A new partnership agreement will ensure that all Vancouver residents will have equal, barrier-free access to the full network of connected, taxpayer-funded recreation facilities and programs.

At the same time, a new agreement will support and enhance the outreach and advocacy work of the centres that have been, for so many years, the heart and voice of our communities,” explained Blyth in a public statement.

Park board commissioner Melissa De Genova explains further, “They’re not-for-profit organizations that run in their community, and they take care of each of their communities. Centralization would help with efficiency and make it a more efficient system.”

Another piece of the agreement involved the implementation of a universal access card. This will allow members to use different community centres without having to purchase multiple subscriptions. These access cards are intended to give a sense of unity to the scattered community centres. Any subscriber in any of the participating community centres can utilize programs for youth, sports and seniors, among others.

As part of this overhaul, Leisure Access Cards (LAC), which provide low-income residents the ability to purchase passes at a reduced cost, will be accepted more widely. They are currently accepted at pools, rinks and some fitness centres, but park board commissioner Niki Sharma told the Georgia Straight that the majority of community centres will accept the LAC under a new agreement.

According to De Genova, both the park board and the Community Centre Association have agreed with the two access cards.

Presently, there are 13 centres that have agreed to further negotiations, and six who still oppose.

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FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

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Fulfilling passions while avoiding rations

Andy Rice

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Art and business have never been the best of friends. Maintaining an uncompromised sense of creativity can be difficult when financial clouds loom above. The pressure to sell more is soon followed by the accusation of selling out, and while some art forms are more easily commoditized than others, most artists face the dilemma of having to feed not only their soul through their chosen medium, but their family as well. The paths these individuals take in response to this challenge are as varied, expressive and personal as the art they create.

For Nicola Tibbetts, a painter and instructor for Capilano University’s studio arts program, going into education was both an intended career move and a defense mechanism against artistic compromise. “I teach partially because I think it’s a great way to balance an art practice with life,” she says. “I think that it’s really nice to have those two things going at the same time because one feeds the other. And I also teach so that I don’t

have to sell my paintings because I don’t want my art practice to be dictated by what will sell and what won’t sell.”

Across the campus, interactive design student Oliver Browne is taking educational steps toward a career in the graphic design industry. Digital media has become one of the fastest-growing art forms around, and somewhat of a commodity in today’s technological world. For Browne, entering the field was partly deliberate and partly serendipitous. “It’s in demand and it’s also a growing industry, so that seemed like the logical choice,” he says. “But I’m also lucky because I really enjoy and gain energy from that, from this industry, whereas some artists would see it almost as selling out possibly.”

East Vancouver jewellery designer Marie Foxall finds herself somewhere in the middle. After a full-time contract position she had in the music industry came to an end several months ago, she decided to focus solely on her artistic enterprise, Wasted Effort. Having both a mathematics degree and a masters in business administration helped to make it more of a calculated risk, but still one with financial implications she isn’t yet sure of.

Foxall says that while the move has given her considerably more time to develop new products and grow her business, she wouldn’t be opposed to resuming outside employment. “I’m still open to it because I could manage both before … but it’ll be interesting to see how I’ll manage this for the time being,” she says.

MAKING ENDS MEET Finding a financially viable career in the arts can be a challenging and even impossible struggle. “Very, very few people make it work and have selling work as their sole income,” says Tibbetts.

“It’s very, very rare, so in some ways I don’t want to encourage people to have that dream because it can be really frustrating. I think where I hope a lot of my students would go is into something they really enjoy doing, and hopefully it has sort of artistic elements to it. Also, what I hope they learn through their art education is that if they possibly can, not to make too many sacrifices in order to please an audience … if they do go the commercial route.”

“Painting is a medium that people tend to buy which is great because you can make a

living with painting more so than with sculpture,” explains Tibbetts, but typically when it comes to visual art, “there aren’t all that many options. Art education is wonderful because it teaches you to be very creative about the kinds of jobs you get. You have to know what your skill set is, then try and find work that somehow feeds that, but it won’t necessarily be artistic. It could be something very technical. There’s curation of gallery spaces; that’s sort of a realm that a lot of artists go into but now there’s curatorial studies that specify in that.

It is possible to go the commercial realm and do that successfully, but I think often you do have to compromise and that is unfortunate. There’s the teaching realm; there are not very many teaching jobs unfortunately but if you can get one, or even a part-time situation like me, and you can live on a small amount of money you make working part-time, that’s all you need.”

Foxall says that she’s still unsure whether or not a career in the arts is even what she wants long-term. It was a path she found herself on somewhat by accident. “When I started making jewellery I didn’t even plan to sell it at all,” she explains. “It was just sort of a new skill I wanted

to learn and then friends started asking about it and it sort of rolled from there. If I’d just jumped into it right away and quit my job right then, I would have been out of luck and I wouldn’t have been able to keep making the jewellery. You’ve got to make sure that you’re still paying the bills. And I’ve got to be true to myself too. I mean, I don’t know if jewellery is what I want to do for the rest of my life.”

Part of that indecision, she says, comes from a responsibility she feels toward her post-secondary education. “There’s family pressure to be a great successful professional and all that stuff,” she says. “It’s just balancing everything and everyone’s expectations. I do want to do something with that [math degree and business degree].”

While Browne’s post-secondary education fully involves and encompasses his art, it has also temporarily removed him from the business side of it. Prior to enrolling in university to focus on graphic design and web development, he worked as a freelancer on various branding and digital media projects. School, he says, has put that on hold and left him little time for anything other than assignments, but that previous experience served as an eye-opener for potential career options. “I’m very thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to be able to work in both of these fields and be able to find the parallels in them, because not many people have passions that can be translated into a money-making business and I see the frustrations in that.”

Browne says he intends to seek work at a graphic design firm once he has completed his studies. “My strengths currently are starting to push me into being a graphic designer,” he says.

“Basically a rapid prototyper so that when people have ideas for products and they need to move onto a web-based marketing system I can quickly work on a solution with them. Hopefully that’ll push me into kind of an agency position where I’ll be mocking up websites, developing them and basically being a bit of a code monkey.”

MAKING USEFUL ART While paintings, custom graphics and jewellery happen to be three of the more in-demand forms of marketable art, all three artists warn that even still, making a living from art alone can be difficult. Retail cost, accessibility and day-

to-day usefulness or enjoyment are all major factors toward the appeal of certain items to the public – and some artistic mediums are simply more viable than others, from a business perspective.

Jewellery is a perfect example. “People are actually using [these pieces] and not just buying them on a whim and then never actually wearing them,” says Foxall. “And it’s nice to have the opportunity to create something that hopefully will last a really long time. I know that most of the jewellery that I’ve bought over the course of my life I’ve kept; like I just have a collection of it and I never really get rid of it. It’s nice that … jewellery is easier to keep in that way than clothing or something else that goes out of style quicker. It has a bit more longevity to it.”

Painting, though similar in collectability and longevity, is quite different when it comes to practicality. Tibbetts says she often wishes visual art could be more useful for everyday life. “I have a little bit of envy for people like ceramic artists, the potters for example, because they’re making these vessels that you can eat out of and drink out of and they’re very useful. With painting, it goes on the wall. It’s not something that can be used every day.”

One of her current projects serves as a refreshing solution this problem. “Right now I’m collaborating with a toy maker and we’re making a dinosaur puzzle together. It’s totally out of my normal realm. I know I’m not going to be putting it on a gallery wall and being judged by it. Kids are actually going to be playing with dinosaurs that I painted and that’s really cool.”

MAKING COMPROMISES Though their chosen mediums are vastly different from one another, all three artists share a strong vision and say they’ve set limits for themselves on how much they would allow that vision to be compromised for financial gain.

“I took the route of teaching fairly specifically so I can be an artist and not have to be associated with a commercial gallery if I didn’t want to,” says Tibbetts. “I’m lucky enough to be a painter and if I wanted to go the commercial route I could, but there are sacrifices to be made, just like with everything. I mean, their mandate is to sell work, it’s not necessarily to show interesting work.”

Browne says he hasn’t yet found himself

needing to compromise thus far. “I don’t feel like I’ve sacrificed anything, let’s put it that way, whereas I definitely know of people in the graphic design industry who feel that they’ve compromised their own artistic talent and vision for money. In my case I felt like my skills were definitely better for design because I know that my passion lies in working with people.”

For Foxall, the inevitable pressure to compromise has more to do with production than artistic vision. Jewellery, along with the entire fashion industry, is replication-based in a way that both visual art and multimedia design are not. If and when business picks up, a great temptation exists to move to an assembly line format or mass-produce pieces to be more cost or time-effective. It’s a temptation she vows to resist.

“All of the stuff that I make is very basic shapes and it’s all hand-cut,” Foxall explains. “I have friends who work with laser cutters or water jet cutters saying, ‘you know it would be so easy for me to just make a ton of these for you and then you could just string them together…’ and I’m like no, that’s cheating. People are paying for something that’s handmade and there is something really important to me about actually making the stuff. But if I did get to the level where I really had to ramp up production, I would probably … just hire people to help me do the things that I already do.”

While some artists in other disciplines might lament and even resent that replication process, Foxall sees it simply as a fact of life when it comes to her chosen medium. “It’s the same thing as being in a really popular band and people want to hear the hits and the band doesn’t want to play the hits. You know, you do what you’ve got to do. And I like everything that I’ve designed. If I didn’t like it then I wouldn’t have made it in the first place.

Maybe it’s not my favourite thing anymore but it’s all still fun to make.”

MAKING CONNECTIONS Regardless of whether an art practice operates on a small scale or on a global scale, networking and connecting with others is an important step toward a sustainable career. Social media can be a valuable facilitator for that process, says Foxall.

“I’ve actually gotten tons of business and store accounts just from Instagram alone. I have an online store as well which is really awesome for

that because it’s just this whole community of people who are really excited about handmade things, and so if you make a new piece and you’re not sure how it’s going to do in the real world or in the boutique scene you can sort of test it out there.”

Tibbetts says that her job as an art instructor alongside several other practicing artists is what gives her a sense of community and helps to keep her in tune with the industry at-large. “You’re surrounded by other artists, which is wonderful.

When you’re out of a school setting it can be really tough because you have to build your own community but if you have a faculty of artists, then you already have sort of an automatic community and I think we sort of influence each other. It’s also really good to just get out of the house because being an artist is a very solitary practice. I only work part-time, and the rest of the time I’m in my studio alone, so coming here and just having conversations about art and looking at art … it’s a really great thing.”

Growing up in Deep Cove as the son of a gallery owner, Browne says he has witnessed the power of connections first-hand. “It’s been an amazing experience to peek into the art world like that.

These are people that are professional artists, and they have day jobs and everything, but they find ways to remain relevant with their artistic talent. They’ve just worked so hard with their craft and they’ve had to do so much work networking through so many different avenues to find shows, to find venues to put up their stuff. It is mainly for the love of it but when money comes their way, they clamp onto any opportunity.”

Those words, “mainly for the love of it,” perhaps best encompass the commitment an artist makes to his or her craft, despite the financial implications that may result. Entering the arts field, an area where failure is perhaps more common than success, involves a sacrifice upfront – and not an easy one. Ultimately however, the same sense of determination and belief in one’s craft that allows an artist to make that sacrifice helps them resist the temptation to compromise that craft along the way. Art and business are not the best of friends, but against all odds, artists seem happiest in keeping it that way.

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cap calendar Movie Monday!

I might start this thing where I suggest great movies for you to watch on a boring Monday (Mondays have been boring for me ever since Gossip Girl finished, and I know there are plenty of you in the same boat).

Today’s MM suggestions are: Martian Child, Runaway Jury, This is My Father. The theme is obviously, John Cusack movies I haven’t seen yet. Love him!

All day, everywhere. Free-ish!

Extraction One of the many hot topics on our minds today is: oil. It’s a big money-maker but it’s also really shitty for the environment. But in this documentary, “China’s rise as an economic power and oil extraction in Alberta.” It will be very educational!

8 p.m., the Cultch. Prices vary.

Referendum Remember how last week I was like, “Oh there might be a referendum but I’m not too sure but maybe vote just in case?” Yeah, it’s a thing that’s happening. So go vote! Or lose your U-Pass! Ominous music playing.

See Csu.bc.ca for voting times and locations.

Wo m e n E x e c u t i ve s Ne t w o r k’s Breakfast Series I love breakfast! This breakfast is a bit pricey for me, because I prefer the greasy $3 goodness of places like Bino’s, aka my “hangout” during high school, but it’s for a good cause! Except it’s sold out. So … Bino’s?

7:15 a.m., The Terminal City Club. $82 or $3.

Sarah Slean Sarah Slean really can do everything - acting, painting, songwriting, poetry - and more!

To really get inside her head, check out our interview with her in this week’s Arts section.

8 p.m., The Rio. $41.

Demise of the Public University Are public universities soon to be a thing of the past? I don’t know! If you go to this lecture, you will have the “opportunity for dialogue,” featuring our illustrious president, Kris Bulcroft!

7 p.m., Metrotown Library. Free.

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Darwin Deez Darwin is an indie singer, who has luscious curly hair and seems to always wear a headband - but not the Blair Waldorf kind … more like Vaughn? Which I like less but is still pretty cool. Common Google search images include him pouring powdered mashed potatoes out of a box, and sitting in a bathtub.

8 p.m., Fortune Sound Club. $13.

Autre Ne Veut When translated from French, this oneman-act’s name means “I want no other,” which sounds really romantic. He’s from Brooklyn, and has been compared to How to Dress Well, who was also recently in Vancouver. Think electronic with a little R&B. 9:30 p.m., Electric Owl. $12.

B.B. King Does this man even need an introduction?

Even I know he’s been “King of the Blues” for the last six decades! I cannot believe he’s actually going to be here in our fair city.

8 p.m., River Rock Casino. $95-$105.

“Caf-tivities” Tomorrow is International Women’s Day, and it appears the CSU Women’s collective is starting its celebrations today with a clever pun. “Caf-tivities” will be happening in the cafeteria (duh right!) I don’t know what the events will be, but I do know that there will be PRIZES. Maybe even good ones!

11:30 a.m., cafeteria. Free, I hope.

Alicia Keys and Miguel Fun fact about Alicia Keys: her nickname is Lellow! Also, she has a new album out which I only really know about because it sells in Starbucks and I’m there all the time.

8 p.m., Rogers Arena. $55-$150.

Maroon 5 at Rogers Arena OMG, right? I remember when they first became a thing when I was in high school and everyone had a huge thing for Adam Levine.

Now, 10 years later, everything is exactly the same.

8 p.m., Rogers Arena. $41-$108.

The Magic Flute Although opera is thought of to be a “thing for the wealthy,” in reality it is something that everyone can enjoy. The Magic Flute combines Mozart’s music with First Nations designs.

1:30 p.m., Queen Elizabeth Theatre. Prices range.

Open House at Bosa Are you familiar with the giant monstrosity at the north end of campus? You might not be, because you can’t really get in without a million keys. But on this day, everything will be unlocked and open to your perusal. It’ll probably be almost as exciting as getting keys to the Disney Vault.

11 a.m., Bosa Centre. Free.

Great Big Sea Folk-rock from Newfoundland! Canadian classics! The masterminds behind “End of the World” and “Run Runaway”! Fuck this band!

7:30 p.m., The Orpheum. $50-$105.

Calendar@ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m Chaz Bono’s B-Day! For Chaz Bono’s birthday, take him to Bon Chaz. Apparently their breaded goods are tasty. I’ve never been there but that’s what I hear!

All day, Bon Chaz. Cost of breaded good.

Rock Paper Corduroy Contest In elementary school you probably thought that your awesome skill in winning Rock, Paper, Scissors would never get you anywhere, but now it can win $50 and enjoy cheap beer!

10 p.m., Corduroy in Kitsilano. $5.

Art Battle I strongly believe that this sport of competitive painting will one day make it to the Olympics, as soon as they recognize sporting as a form of art itself. While we’re waiting we might as well go to this and watch a true Battle of the Brushes.

7 p.m., Raw Canvas. $10/$15.

Shout Out Out Out Out I’ve decided to give these guys a great shout out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. I know, great joke.

11 p.m., Biltmore. $14.

Mother Teresa is Dead This reminds me of the time two days ago when I found out Mr. Rogers had died… 10 years ago. Like, did the Internet even exist then? How was I supposed to know? (This, however, is a documentary, and it’s really moving and powerful and definitely worth your time).

8 p.m., Pacific Theatre. $18-$30.

Sex Talk in the City: A Clandestine History of Contraception Check out this unique “talk and tour” of the new Sex Talk in the City exhibit at the Museum of Vancouver. Specifically, they will be exploring the history of contraception in Canada.

7 p.m., Museum of Vancouver. $12.

5 Days for the Homeless Kick-Off One of the CSU’s largest annual campaigns, 5 Days for the Homeless, will be having a sweet night to kick-off their event. Musical acts include Connor Roff, Brothers Arntzen and Greg Drummond. It’ll be a night of dancing, music, drinking and dialogue.

8 p.m., Anza Club. $10/$12.

Oz the Great and Powerful in theatres When I first saw the trailer for this I was really excited because it was live action with that guy who’s usually in more serious movies… but then I realized that all the other Oz movies I’ve seen were also live action. So now I don’t really know why I’m excited, but I am.

All day, theatres everywhere. Cost of movie.

Inhabiting Women’s Space On this, International Women’s Day, hear from four female authors who will describe how women metaphorically inhabit space through writing.

7 p.m., Downtown VPL. Free.

Sisters of Soul “A fundraiser for Avalon Recovery Society and the Amy Winehouse Memorial Bursary at Capilano University. Some of Vancouver’s best vocalists will be performing music by female artists from the ‘60s and ‘70s, as well as original music inspired by recovery.”

8 p.m., NSCU Centre. $15.

First Nations Dance Festival Check out this week-long festival that will celebrate First Nations dance, music and culture. There will be plenty of things to do and see, and everything will be beautiful.

Mar. 6-10, Museum of Anthropology. $20.

Vitaly Beckman presents: An Evening of Wonders Unfortunately, this will not be as good as a trip to Hogwarts, but it will at least be a little magical! Maybe Harry Potter will make a guest appearance! MAYBE! 8 p.m., The Cultch. $22/$25.

Improv A new comedy troupe, doing improv! I love jokes and I really wish I went to more comedy things because I feel like I would laugh at every single one of their jokes even if they were really bad.

8 p.m., Havana. $10.

OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Leah Scheitel

× opinions@capilanocourier.com

THE "A" WORD

Abortion debates need to show more compassion Leah Scheitel × Opinions Editor Abortion is a word that sparks instant debate. The pro-life versus pro-choice argument rages on in political areas, school campuses and sidewalk corners with people preaching their views on the moral and ethical factors of ending a pregnancy.

While everyone is entitled to their own personal opinion on such a polarizing topic, personal views are often judgmental and lack the compassion needed for the people making a hugely difficult and ultimately life-changing decision.

Pro-life clubs on Canadian campuses have always had difficulty being accepted by their respective student unions. In February, the prolife group at Trent University, Lifeline, took legal action against their student union, which wouldn’t back them as a club because their group was too exclusive. A statement from the student union read, “Campaigning for pro-life or pro-choice is not allowed on campus, as well since there is [sic] so many opinions to this it can lead to a very exclusive group, while all clubs at Trent University must be inclusive.”

This is just one example. In December 2012, Protectores Vitae, the pro-life club at Kwantlen Polytechnic University, combatted the same difficulties and took up legal action against the

Kwantlen Student Association (KSA).

Even closer to home, in 2008 the Capilano Students’ Union and the Capilano Heartbeat Club reached an agreement wherein the Heartbeat Club would receive full club status. This occurred after they filed an official complaint against the CSU with the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal.

Putting the debate of freedom of speech aside, these campus clubs are examples that the pro-life debaters have a reputation of not being as friendly as their pro-choice rivals. In all of these cases, the governing bodies didn’t want to endorse a club that was seen as biased and against the idea of choice.

As said in the case at Capilano, the CSU originally rejected Heartbeat’s application for group status because they believe the club would hinder “women’s right to choose.”

What the pro-life groups may be overlooking is that the decision to abort a baby doesn’t necessarily lighten the mother’s burden. A woman choosing what to do with her body, her baby and her life is a decision that will be with her for the rest of her life, no matter what the outcome. If she chooses to abort, and doesn’t raise a child for a minimum of the next 18 years, she will live with that societal pressure and guilt for a long time. Women don’t choose abortion as an option of birth control.

It is a last resort, and a decision that they don’t take lightly – and many do choose to forgo their educations or careers, opting to give life instead.

Whatever the decision is, pro-life advocates must of pro-life. take into account that it’s one that lies with the In 2010, 64,641 recorded abortions were woman, and it is up to her to factor in the details, performed in Canada. That is over 64,000 such as a father figure and a career. Their advocat- difficult decisions made by Canadian women ing and preaching for pro-life can add an immense about their bodies and lives. Regardless of what we amount of guilt and regret upon the mother. They believe personally, people have to feel empathy and must give more compassion to someone facing this compassion towards those making a life-altering decision. decision – especially one that those women will Pro-life protesters often gather on the corner of never forget that they made.

Broadway and Commercial Drive. A handful of people, usually older women with a token male, hand out pamphlets to by-passers, and wear signs supporting “family values.” The male protesters promote the message that they wanted to be fathers, and that abortion stole that opportunity away from them. It begs the question of what a woman who just gave up her baby would feel when trying to catch the B-line. The kind of “only solution” or “only choice” message that they are preaching can be detrimental to the mindset of someone in that situation.

Instead of advocating “family values” and that the ideal man-woman-child is the best or only solution, maybe they could support women during this time. Maybe pro-life groups would be more popular if they promoted the idea of being a working mom, having a career and a child, or provided information about resources for single mothers, or adoption procedures. This is a way ×× Ryan rose of being more inclusive while keeping to the idea

Playing the Field

Homophobia still present in pro sports world Victoria Fawkes × Writer

their careers; thus, gay and lesbian athletes retain the illusion of heterosexuality.

North American athletes’ sexuality can be a defining quality of their overall talent and athletic prowess, but it’s obvious that some sports take into account an athlete’s sexuality more than others. Individual sports, such as snowboarding and skiing, tend to focus more on the athletic ability of the player, rather than the shadow that their sexuality casts on their reputation. Due to the traditional nature of sports like baseball and football, athletes may be more heavily affected by their sexuality. Since snow sports and extreme sports, like skateboarding, grew up in more modern generations, an athlete’s sexuality is of less

consequence and does not define their athletic capabilities.

Unfortunately, it is very common to hear a story of an athlete debasing another due to their sexuality. For many sports, homosexuality is an overlooked topic, coming to the surface only when someone like Culliver says something politically incorrect and puts his career and team in a media firestorm for doing do. The stigmas that straight athletes can hold for their gay and lesbian teammates are a negative stereotype, something that must be brought to the surface for sports and activities. the capilano courier

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“In pro sports, gay athletes still feel unwelcome,” reads the headline of L.A. Times article by Kevin Baxter. In the piece, he quotes Torii Hunter, the slugger for the Detroit Tigers, as saying, “For me, as a Christian … I will be uncomfortable because in all my teachings and all my learning, biblically, it’s not right,” he says. “It will be difficult and uncomfortable.”

This negative attitude, although discouraged among athletes and coaches so to retain an air of political correctness, still hangs like a black cloud on the reputation of Western sports.

In this liberal generation, it’s the rights of the LGBTQ community that are being fought for and culturally tested, and while the fashion and music industries are already far ahead in terms of LGBTQ acceptance, there are still some cultural aspects that leave much to be desired for gay rights. Sports, both action and full contact, is one such association that still faces criticism for its sometimes negative treatment of openly gay players and organizers. And, because of the shame associated with alternative lifestyles, many talented gay athletes, both closeted and open, may be missing out on opportunities and promising careers for fear of not being accepted.

The negative treatment of gay players in alpha-male sports like football is not uncommon.

Less than two weeks before the Super Bowl, San Francisco 49ers player Chris Culliver scoffed at the idea of playing alongside gay teammates. “I don’t do the gay guys, man,” said Culliver. “No, we don't got no gay people on the team.” The 49ers lost the

Super Bowl XLVII. Ironically, Culliver plays for a city that has one of the highest populations of LGBTQ citizens in the United States and is one of the gay-friendliest destinations in the world.

Other sports, particularly extreme sports, tend to have a higher number of gay participants.

In 2006, the 1st World Outgames was held in Montreal and included sports such as wrestling, karate, and triathlon. It also included an LGBTQ conference that was attended by over 2000 participants. More recently, Whistler held its WinterPRIDE gay and lesbian ski week, an eight-day celebration of LGBTQ skiers and snowboarders. This year, over 3,000 openly gay participants enjoyed après-skiing parties, concerts and the accepting environment that WinterPRIDE provided. Although there are few openly gay professional athletes in extreme sports, it would likely not alter the views of their peers and people within the industry. Extreme sports are known for being edgy and alternative, which is something that can be easily aligned with the LGBTQ movement.

Most non-extreme sports teams barely have many openly gay athletes, with some preferring to keep their sexuality under wraps, or live “semigay” lives. Wade Davis, a recently retired player for the Tennessee Titans came out as gay at the end of his career and noted in an interview that he knew of only a few players in the NFL who were gay. “Openly gay is a bit strong, cause when we think of openly gay we think of walking down the street with your boyfriend. But there are players who know that this player may have a boyfriend or may not date women and that’s just it. It's not talked about,” said Davis. Many athletes believe that being openly gay would be detrimental to

17 ×× Vivian lIU

×× susan li

OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Leah Scheitel

× opinions@capilanocourier.com

BIRTHRIGHT ISRAEL

What do you want in exchange for a free 10-day vacation?

Scott Moraes × Humour and Fiction Editor

THE ISRAEL-PALESTINE “CONTROVERSY” The state of Israel was created by a United Nations partition plan in 1947, when Britain decided to surrender its claims to its Mandate of Palestine following World War II. Shortly afterwards, a coalition of Arab states pledged to prevent the area from being divided, and a war ensued. An estimated 700,000 Palestinians fled or were expelled from their homes, and over 400 villages were completely depopulated.

Israel ended up conquering about half of the land that had been assigned to Palestine by the Partition Plan. Another war (the Six Day War) occurred in 1967, and Israel illegally occupied the Palestinian territories and continues to this day to settle further into Palestinian land, developing a complex system of exclusive roads and checkpoints which work precisely to keep the Palestinians isolated, actions which have drawn comparisons to the South African Apartheid system. A hundred years ago, the population in Palestine was 90 per cent Arab. Today, it is 75 per cent Jewish.

For decades, the United Nations has condemned Israel’s illegal occupation and continuous encroachment on the Palestinian territories. This is indeed an intractable conflict, but in global terms, it is hardly controversial, since most votes see the United States, Canada and Israel standing pretty much alone, against the rest of the world.

But this is not the history Birthrighters come to Israel to learn. In 2011, writer Kiera Feldman of The Nation magazine wrote a poignant piece entitled “The Romance of Birthright Israel” about her firsthand experience in one of the trips: “Everything we saw out the tour bus window was ‘in the Bible,’ reinforcing Zionist claims to the land”, she wrote. “[The guide] used

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“The trip lasts 10 days. The memories last a lifetime.” Such is the boastful slogan of Taglit-Birthright Israel. Casually presented as just another of the already numerous exchange programs for youth around the world, Birthright is unique in more than one way. It offers free sponsored trips to Israel, and it’s exclusive for Jewish youth aged 18 to 26. This type of “philanthropic tourism” begs for scrutiny, but has gotten very little attention outside Jewish communities.

Since 2000, more than 340,000 youth, including 26,000 Canadians, have travelled on a Taglit-Birthright Israel program. Such an impressive enterprise was made possible by approximately $700 million worth of private donations, including millions from the Israeli government.

Born out of fear that the new generation of “exiled” Jews were losing their connection to their ancestral homeland (most were marrying outside the faith), the Birthright project came to life in the late 1990s, conceived as “the selling of Jewishness to Jews,” in the words of co-founder Charles Bronfman, a Quebecois billionaire. What better way to get youngsters’ attention than a free overseas summer camp?

During the trip, the lucky tourists visit the Holocaust museum, ride camels, swim in the Dead Sea, learn of Biblical claims to the land, take in the Israeli version of local history, as well as dance in Israeli nightclubs and bond with young Israeli soldiers.

Birthright’s hidden agenda and propagandist undertones become more apparent while watching the videos on its YouTube channel: big budget promotional clips, sentimental testimonials of life-changed participants, and Mega Events with pop music and dancing acts, intermingled with speeches from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, while teens wave Israeli flags in tears and others grind to the music.

They seem completely unaware of the fact that

they’re right in the middle of one of the world’s longest-standing conflicts. They seem grateful, and not in the least suspicious as to the reasons behind such random generosity.

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×× Dave Mcansh

‘Palestinian’ interchangeably with ‘terrorist,’ and driving through northern Israel, he gave a lesson in ‘Judaization,’ the government’s term for settlement policy.” Feldman further called the trip “a Zionist summer camp for young professionals,” a luxurious break from hectic big-city lives: “In Birthright, dissent is for fun-suckers,” she concluded. “Birthright is designed to bring about a deadening of feeling. A deadening through over-stimulation. It’s hard to imagine anyone else’s suffering when you’re having the time of your life.”

Under its “comprehensive safety umbrella,” the program does not include travel to the West Bank, Gaza, or East Jerusalem (the occupied Palestinian territories), and participants are not allowed to stray from the group at any point to explore on their own. Most surprising for a tourism program, “at least one highly-trained, armed escort will accompany each group throughout the entire trip.”

With a fair share of crowded buses, parties, swimming in the Dead Sea, and snuggling together in Bedouin tents, Birthright is very conducive to romance and bonding, according to Feldman, confessing herself as falling victim to the magic and engaging in a brief romance with a fellow American.

Although some participants surely embark with at least some critical knowledge of the conflict, most (especially if they hail from North America) are likely to already be pro-Israel and malleable to the information they’re fed during the trip.

Following Israel’s invasion of Lebanon in 2006, researchers at Brandeis University in Boston found that, “Birthright alumni were more likely than other young American Jews to view Israel’s military conduct as justified.”

The one-sided and exclusionary perspective of a birthright is of particular significance. Refugees who were actually born on the land and pushed out of the way (“ethnically cleansed”) during the 1948 war are refused their right to return, while Israeli immigration is globally encouraged and settlements continue to spread deeper into the occupied territories. The message of Birthright Israel, in Benjamin Netanyahu’s own words to Birth-

righters, is that Jews anywhere in the world “come from different cultures, [but] have one thing in common: Israel is your birthright.” They would gladly and promptly be granted the gift of Israeli citizenship, if they so wished.

If anyone in the world were to even attempt a similar project to sponsor free trips to Palestine, they would be likely be vetoed and accused of supporting terrorism.

THE “PHILANTHROPISTS” Sheldon Adelson – an American casino magnate with a net worth of $20 billion – is cited as being Birthright’s biggest sponsor. He was in the news not long ago for having contributed $1 million last year to then presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, defending controversial remarks Gingrich had made about Palestinians, saying, “Read the history of those who call themselves Palestinians, and you will hear why Gingrich said recently that the Palestinians are an invented people.”

Michael Steinhardt, a hedge fund manager and co-founder of Taglit-Birthright, told a journalist during a Birthright event that “Forty-five years ago, there was no Palestinian people,” and expressed his wishes that Jewish marriages and babies would come out of the connections made during the trips. “It doesn’t even have to be eventually, it could be tonight,” he added jokingly.

With a view of history that is beyond inaccurate and verging on self-indulgent delusion, h e d g e fund managers and magnates such as Adelson, Bronfman and Steinhardt are allowed to further their religious and political goals, and get to be called “philanthropists” in return. And there are no means, legal or otherwise, to prevent any individual from making private donations of a “nonpolitical nature.”

Birthright Israel’s philanthropic approach is a furtive attempt for the Zionist movement to fly under the radar and evade the multipronged criticism it always receives whenever its ethnocentric policies enter the arena of public debate.

Black and white generalizations are particularly harmful, since they contribute to the polarization of opinions and the escalation of conflict. Not all Israelis are pro-Settlement Zionists and not all Palestinians are Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers. Many on both sides have continuously called for peace and cooperation. But the general policies of the Israeli government, backed mainly by the U.S. and Canada are clearly reminiscent of imperialist policies and contrary to the global consensus on human rights.

There is nothing wrong with Jewish youth all over the world wanting a deeper connection to their culture and religion. But if they understood the connections between the politicized millionaires who sponsor their trips and the causes and consequences of their veiled “philanthropy,” they might challenge Birthright Israel’s agenda.

Birthright does change lives, but from the unheard Palestinian perspective and the global support network for its rights of self-determination, it does so for the worse.

S

Every year, Israeli Apartheid Week events take place all over the world to raise awareness of criminal Israeli actions. In Canada, IAW takes place from Mar. 4-8.

the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

MILK MOUSTACHE Connor Rempel × Writer It was a bright, sunny day when James and Will walked into their favourite diner, Sergio’s. The diner was always popular with tourists, as it was just between the beach and the hotel. James had been grooming his moustache all week because of this waitress he wanted to impress. Every single hair he groomed on that ego-driven moustache made him that much closer to his goal: getting a date with the one and only Rita Caldera.

Rita, although everyone knew her as “Madre de Leche” (Mother of Milk), served the best café con leche in all of Mexico. Everyone in the little town of Leon knew that hot milk that seeped through a robust moustache drove Rita mad with desire.

James indubitably knew his only chance to win Rita’s affection was to create the finest upper lip specimen any Mexican had ever seen.

The streets of Leon were littered with broken hearts as everyone who had ever tried to draw Rita’s attention failed, with a simple flick of her hair and whip of her wrist.

As James and Will entered the diner, James took a deep breath. They seated themselves at their favourite booth, with the older men staring bitterly at them. The Padres looked at one another, recognizing their awe and envy of James’ moustache. It was true, over the years there had been many travellers to cross eyes with the fine Rita, but never once did the old Mexicans feel the real risk of losing her. Today was different – the unyielding stares among the men suffocated the diner with tension.

“Will – I got a real good feeling about this,” remarked James. “I’ve been preparing all week and

the padres look like they’re about to lose it.” Will figured he wouldn’t get too excited, as James was always dangerously optimistic. “I reckon, if other tourists have tried for Rita and failed, we’ll fail too.” Will’s remark didn’t faze James, as he knew his magnificent moustache could champion any other moustache in the room.

Will and James gestured to each other.

Overweight Mexicans continued to glower at James, like a bull to a matador. “Maybe it was a bad idea to come here. I think we’re cock-blocking these Mexicans from their milk and they don't look like they’re willin’ to share any,” said Will.

With a determined look on his face, James proclaimed, “I ain’t gonna bitch out because some ‘spick’ don’t appreciate a little competition! I grew this Pancho Villa moustache for a whole week and I’m getting her, Will.” He said all of this eloquently, in a language not commonly his own, like a line from a movie: he was a different man.

As Will and James waited for Rita to attend to them, an old Mexican, who was very close to being bald and smelled of blood from chicken fights, walked up to them. Nervously, Will grabbed a menu and started suggesting food to order. “Yeah, I think we should try the pae…pae…paella, or maybe the pollo a la –,” “Plancha,” the old Mexican finished for Will.

“Are you sure you two amigos aren’t here for the milk?” the Mexican accused angrily. With a confident smirk on his face, James boasted, “As a matter of fact, we are. Now how about you split like a taco and leave us so Madre de Leche can serve us?” By now, the wretched Mexican was steaming with rage. “You don’t know who you’re messing with, hombre!” The Mexican reached behind his back, appearing to grab a paddle with the colours of the Mexican flag. Winding up

the paddle, James was about to inherit a slap of Mexican history, straight across the face. “We’ll see who’s smilin’ after this, funny guy.” Just as the paddle was seconds away from James’ beautiful moustache there was a shout from the back of the diner.

“Cállate!” One didn't have to know Spanish to do precisely what the word called for. There was dead silence in the diner. The one and only Madre de Leche appeared, walking out from behind the saloon doors that connected the restaurant to the tables outside. The sun shone down on her, outlining her beauty. Her lustrous hair glistened off the sun’s warm rays as her presence commanded the attention of every man in the room.

All eyes were on her and everybody knew it. She seemingly glided towards James and Will’s table, with a cup of hot café con leche in her right hand.

“You are a tourist, are you not?” she asked, casually.

“I am,” James replied. Rita poured James a cup and said compellingly, “Drink.” James gladly took the cup and drank in the wonders of Mexico – all the while looking deeply into Rita’s eyes. As he finished his first long sip, he slowly brought the glass down from his mouth…and there it was.

The coffee milk gracefully seeped and leaked down James’ coarse, manly moustache.

Madre de Leche moaned instantly and could not understand how a tourist’s moustache could combine with milk so elegantly. “I must know,” Rita whispered, “How long did it take you to create such a work of art?” James was full of pride as he replied, “I groomed this bad boy for a whole week. Do you like?” Madre de Leche was bewildered, mesmerized, as her heart beat faster and faster. Filled with sexual attraction and struggling to fight the words, Rita asked, “Where… do…you…come from?” James, full of pride, de-

clared, “Oh, I’m just from Canada. My name is James.”

In earnest Rita implored him, “Oh James, you must take me back with you!”

That night, James took Madre de Leche to bed and became a local legend. Will drank a lot of tequila at the hotel and learned of the bartender’s cartel stories. All night long, Rita repeated, “James, take me back with you, take me back.” At last, James paused for a brief moment, reaching for her hand, and replied, “You know, Rita, our poutines and perogies could probably use your help.”

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the caboose

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Shotgun reviews

SUITS Carlo Javier

“WATCH” OUT Ritu Dixit

BURLESQUE SUSHI Ben Last

NI NO KUNI Jeremy Fornier-Hanlon

Legal dramas don’t get any better than this. What more can you ask from the increasingly popular Suits? A series about a New York City law firm, focused on its best closer Harvey Specter, and his eidetic memory-enhanced associate Mike Ross, plus a number of cleverly crafted commanding characters to boot. Add the flash brought by the high-end suits, bachelor pads, intensity of courtrooms and just the simple swagger Specter oozes every time he takes the screen. And not to be overlooked is the constant referencing of countless cinematic classics; it’s nice to see current TV shows, rather, spectacles paying homage to history. I can’t even say enough just how good this show is, as a matter of fact, I almost forgot to write this because I spent my reading week going through all the episodes of Suits, twice. By the way, does anybody actually do any reading during reading break?

One day, as I was walking down the street in broad daylight, a weird guy came up to me, and pointing at a shiny Calvin Klein watch in his dirty hands, he said, “Only $50 for this beauty, Miss.” Holding up my wrist, and revealing my plebeian watch, I replied, “Nah, don’t need one!” Bang, comes his response: “Just bought it new from the baller over there.” I walked away unfazed after having thwarted a reasonably compelling sales pitch by a small-time thug. A few minutes later, I stopped at a 7-Eleven to satiate a candy craving. After standing in line for over 10 minutes, I finally got to be first in line, but the woman ahead of me decided to get chatty with the cashier…damn! Concluding her small talk, the cashier complimented her on her designer watch. The ecstatic woman replied, “Oh thanks, I just bought it from a guy outside, only $100 for a branded watch! What a great deal!” She had also bought a $7 jug of milk. Who the hell does that?

“People used to have amazing, memorable nights, you know?” my mom reminisces. “Now, people just hang out in crappy bars.” We were sitting in a sushi bar on Main St. to see Peter, her Filipino co-worker, and his band. After an hour of music, the band stopped playing and a woman announced through the mike: “Alright everyone, the burlesque show is starting in 10 minutes!”

Raising an eyebrow, my mom asked me what “burlesque” was. I explained it to her, after which she was ecstatic. As this busty brunette takes her clothes off revealing bedazzling underwear, my mom giggles uncontrollably into her napkin.

In the midst of her giggle fit, Peter had his own situation. Peter had brought along his family to see him perform, including his 11-year-old niece and his 14-year-old daughter. The girls kept giving him confused, nervous looks (I don’t think they watch TV at all). Halfway through the performance, a desperate mother and her 5-year-old son, her hand over his eyes, walk past the stage where there was some serious assshaking going on. When the show ended, my mom had a huge smile on her face. This was a night to remember.

So basically there’s this game with a kid whose mom dies and he gets really sad and brings his weird looking plush toy to life with his magical tears. Seriously. It turns out his plush toy is actually a Welsh fairy who wants him to be a wizard and tells him that he needs to get over it and go save the world (no, not this one, the other one) and bring his mom back to life (one will find that in adorable Japanese games the grievance period is uncommonly brief ). He ends up being a wizard and learns how to forcibly rip fragments of peoples’ hearts out of their bodies and shove them into other people. And through some Mario-esque world changes he fights a giant rat king, a hunchbacked genie, and an abusive father (not even kidding). He does this with animals he forcibly ripped from his own chest/beat into submission, Pokémon style! Oh, and did I mention it was made by the guys who made Totoro? I love Japan!

W/ Katie “the man” so CARPE DIEM Spanish for #YOLO SECOND COUSINS Not really related, so it’s ok SMILES AND LAUGHTER Sounds like fun

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FARTING IN THE TUB The poor man’s Jacuzzi

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WATER Plain flavoured juice HARLEM SHAKE Ain’t nobody got time for that LISTENING TO PODCASTS Great for loneliness TWELFTH NIGHT AND HAMLET Sick rhymes, Bill ICE BREAKERS Useless when you’re as cold as me CHEESEBURGER Contains meat, dairy and gluten. Sorry.

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A NUN FARTS IN A MONASTERY A Dutch Coven

RAD BOYFRIEND KAtieso.tumblr.com