Capilano Courier Volume 46 Issue 2 by Capilano Courier

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north vancouver

september

17 2012

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OPEN INVITATION? the varied roles of international students

Book Clubs for men

Wine o' clock

"legitimate" Rape

and so much more

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CAPILANO Courier The Staff

TABLE OF CONTENTS news

of this amazing university newspaper JJ Brewis Editor-in-Chief

No visa for you

calendar

We're all celebrating our pal scott's birthday

columns

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Giles Roy Managing Editor

Katie So Art Director

We've found a cure for cancer!

features

Let's face it, international student are being screwed by the university

arts

Natalie Corbo Features Editor

Samantha Thompson Copy Editor

Sarshar Hosseinnia Sports Editor

YOLO OLIO

Opinions

Holograms: Best thing ever

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Ă&#x2014; the capilano courier

Celina Kurz Arts Editor

Stefan Tosheff Production Manager

Connor Thorpe Staff Writer

Shannon Elliott Web Editor

Leanne Kriz Ads & Events Manager

Lindsay Howe News Editor

sports

Scott Moraes Caboose Editor

Video Games: now a sport!

CABOOSE

Leah Scheitel Opinions Editor

Jamie oliver's ass and other friends.

Phone: 604.984.4949 Fax: 604.984.1787 www.capilanocourier.com If you are interested in contributing, story meetings are Tuesdays @ noon in Maple 122

Colin Spensley Distribution Manager

× Letter from the editor ×

LEGITIMATE × ON the Cover ×

Miles Chic

Miles Chic is a lover and a fighter, He also plays drums in a band called Yes Bear with Stefan. He also has no website, What a pufter.

THIS WEEK IN THE

WORLD This stuff happened Chris Brown gets the word “tasteless” tattooed on his neck

By JJ Brewis × Editor-in-Chief

Featuring: giles Roy

The Voicebox returns for yet another year of Courierdom! This your chance to have your opinion heard, no matter how irrelevant or uninformed. Just send a text message to (778) 235-7835 to anonymously “voice” your “thoughts” on any “subject.” Then, as long it’s not too offensive, we’ll publish it! It’s a win-win-win, unless you’re a loser.. “I went to Seymour’s pub with a pizza the other day, and they confiscated my pizza! They said we couldn’t have it out in public, and they took it to their kitchen. Then when we left we forgot our pizza! It was a whole pizza!”

Just so you guys know, you’re allowed to use the Voicebox for other things besides complaining about restaurants.

“Hey Team, I have been out of school for a year and I just wanted to say one of the best things about being back this year is theCourier. It made me so happy to see it and read it this morning, I felt like I was at home. Ya know? Just wanted to let you guys know.” Hey thanks, chum. Let’s hang out sometime. “Stefan Tosheff seems like a babe, can I have his phone number?” I assure you that he is a babe, but no, you may not have his phone number. If you’d like to meet him in real life instead of being such a creep, you could come to our next story meeting, which is Tuesday, Sept. 25 at noon in Maple 122.

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“I washed my hands before eating Wendy’s today but Wendy’s has weird soap, and it made my hands stink and I couldn’t enjoy my food. Fuck you Wendy’s!”

That’s more like it! At the Courier, there’s nothing we hate more than busses and bus drivers. We salute you, angry Translink customer, in your struggle.

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That’s despicable! Let’s all boycott Seymour’s Pub and their great prices. Hey, by the way, did you know Capilano students get a student discount at Seymour’s? That’s Seymour’s Pub, 720 Old Lillooet Road, North Vancouver. Where you can “See More” deals!

“Yesterday I was riding the bus and the driver pulled over to talk to another bus driver for five minutes and I was late for class. What were they even talking about?”

× My mom now podcasting about Dexter. Disclaimer: only available in her car when she’s driving me to the SkyTrain × Camilla is allegedly trying to humiliate Kate Middleton, but we know she’s really just mad jeal of her hat collection × Uggs and toe-shoes and Crocs combine to make world’s biggest atomic bomb

THE VOICE BOX

keeping or not keeping the child are two entirely different worlds, of which you can only pick one. Countless different factors come into play when trying to decide on such a serious matter, and it shouldn’t be anyone else’s say other than the women it affects. You’d think it would be common sense, but clearly some people lack just that: having the option stripped away from women is a violation of basic human rights. I pass by a sub-section of Commercial and Broadway quite often, and regularly see a group of anti-choice advocates with sandwich boards and signs. By using shock value in images of fetuses matched with crude wordplay, the group tries to pass out diabolical (not to mention poorly designed) flyers, clamoring for the general public to join their cause. Recently I decided that I would not perform my regular passive-aggressive scowl when passing them in a rush, and actually stopped to speak with the two women who happened to be campaigning that day. I asked them genuinely why they thought it was any of their business what other women do with their bodies, and one woman said, “We have to think of the children.” It’s clearly boiled down to an issue where they think they are correct, and I think I am correct, and neither of us will ever, ever convince the other otherwise. They see me as a young whippersnapper who hasn’t accepted God in my life; I see them as intolerant bitches who need to understand why this is an important question for women of not just today but future generations. The reason Akin believes he knows what is “right” has been proven, given his background in Divinity Studies. This brings us to the second mystery I haven’t been able to solve: how any supposedly sane person believes religion has a place in politics. In 1960, when John F. Kennedy ran for presidency of the United States of America, many questioned his intent given that if he won, he’d be the first Catholic in office. Kennedy responded to these allegations in a speech saying, “Many countries have unity between Church and State. I would be opposed to it.” Kennedy was only in office for three years before his death, but kept his word on the matter: he remained a proud Catholic in his personal life, and managed to separately represent his country in a non-religious context while in office. I am not a Christian and I am not a woman. But I am able to solidly back an argument, and I truly believe that we need to keep politics and religions as separate entities if we are going to make any progress in this world. As Kennedy said, “I do not speak for my Church on public matters – and the Church does not speak for me.”

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× President of the World Stephen Harper wins Grammy for Kewlest Human × Our girl Britney cutting edge on X Factor. Still not as dope as bald umbrella Brit × Luongo’s back! Also: Luongo’s front

Opinions. We’ve all got ‘em. And this week, the Courier’s own Celina Kurz examines just what it means when one man throws one dicey word choice into an already scary mindset, on public television no less. Was it the viewpoint of Republican politician Todd Akin that made his anti-abortion comments so offensive, or just the evil subtext lurking behind his use of the term “legitimate rape”? It may be a bit of both, to be honest. We could sit here all day debating just what Akin really meant when he said those comments, but it’s fairly obvious what his intent was, to me at least. Regardless of intent, there does remain one interesting facet about this situation to those who haven’t figured this part out yet: it’s none of his fucking business. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve finally figured out the answers to some of the things I pondered in my younger years. Why do I need to sleep eight hours a night? Why shouldn’t I down a bottle of wine every Friday? While those two have caught up to me, the answers to some of life’s more complex issues are still a mystery. For example, what a 65-year-old man (or any man, for that matter) has to say in regard to what women may or may not do with their bodies is beyond me. Regardless of in what context a pregnancy occurs, it is still that woman’s right to decide what metaphorical fork in the road she should take. This right is only the result of years and years of women having to work just for that, and it is still being questioned and placed in peril with assholes like Todd Akin trying to stick his nose where it really doesn’t belong. Abortion is not a choice that I, as a gay man, will ever have to face for either myself or with my partner. But as a sympathetic person with a brain in my head, I am able to comprehend that having a woman personally decide on such a matter for herself is the proper procedure here. It doesn’t matter how a woman gets pregnant. If she doesn’t want to keep the baby, that’s for her to say. The fight for abortion has come a long way, and it’s evident when you consider that women were not able to legally get one in countries such as the United States and India until the 1970s. Take into consideration other countries such as Venezuela, where abortion is illegal and women found “guilty” of having one are jailed up to three years. How’s that for civil rights? Politicians like Akin believe that the government should have a say in such matters as abortion. Not only is this bullshit, it’s terrifying and absurd. I’ve had several friends come to me within the past few years and confessed to me that they, too, have had to make a decision about whether or not they should keep a child. Interestingly, the decision often comes down to societal pressures, shame, and fear rather than logistics and planning. It’s a hard enough choice to make, knowing that

NEWS

News Editor ×

Lindsay Howe × n e w s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

GIVING THE GIFT OF LIFE Organization raises awareness for Canadians in need of transplants Victoria Fawkes × Writer In a recent survey, 85 per cent of Canadians said they were in support of organ donation, though only 17 per cent of Canadians are actually registered organ donors. This leaves 430 British Columbians in need of a kidney or other organ and another 2,800 on dialysis. Those on the list will wait up to five years for a new kidney, but time will run out for many of those that so desperately need such a life-saving gift. The Kidney Foundation, a Canadian organization, is one of the many larger national foundations dedicated to helping those with dysfunctional organs. In its constant commitment to raise funds and awareness, the Kidney Foundation of Canada’s B.C. branch is holding its fifth annual Give the Gift of Life Kidney Walks & Runs in August and September of 2012. Last year, the events included close to 200 participants and raised $10 thousand. This year, the Kidney Foundation hopes to raise at least $15 thousand. The B.C. Kidney Association was first formed in 1971 by a group of concerned British Columbians. Sergeant Ken Smith, a City

of Vancouver Police officer, was its first founding president. The Association soon integrated into the Kidney Foundation of Canada and became the Foundation’s B.C. branch. Since the B.C. Kidney Association began over 40 years ago, there have been 19 branch presidents (all volunteers) that have committed themselves to the cause, and have helped the B.C. branch to evolve into the respected and groundbreaking organization that it is today. In the Kidney Run’s first year, a small group of seven communities came together to improve the lives of Canadians who are affected by kidney disorders. The events have run for over a decade and are one of the Kidney Foundation's most important “Recycle for Life” fundraising opportunities, with other campaigns including organ donation, kidney car campaigns, kidney metals, walk for life events and garage sale events. In its fifth year, the Kidney Run will host events for over 19 communities around B.C. Due to the success of the events, the walks have incorporated dragon boating teams as well as competitive runs in many communities. Deborah Tucker, a communications staff member for the B.C. division of the Kidney Foundation, is committed to helping raise awareness about kidney disorders and organ

donation in Canada. “An estimated 240,000 British Columbians live with kidney disease or are at risk. One in 30 British Columbians develops the incurable condition every year,” says Tucker. She also wishes to educate Canadians about the causes and risks of kidney disease. “Diabetes and high blood pressure are key risk factors for the disease. Also, those with an ethnic background that includes Asian, South Asian, African or Aboriginal are at a greater risk,” says Tucker. “People living with kidney disease can often spend 15 hours a week on dialysis and transplantation is still the best and most cost effective treatment for most,” she adds. Some would argue that if Canada’s organ donation system received a makeover, the need for organ donation would be much less. In some European countries, such as France and Poland, a person is automatically an organ donor. While it is optional to opt out of the country’s program, many do not, improving the organ donation system and shortening all organ waitlists. While those taking part in the event are undoubtedly helping organ donation and kidney disease improvement efforts in B.C., Tucker still insists the best way to help those in need of an organ is to become and organ donor by registering

online or by phoning B.C. Transplant. “A decal on your B.C. Driver's license or B.C. CareCard is no longer enough,” says Tucker. Funds raised from the campaigns go towards helping the Foundation institute important wellness programs in each event’s region, increase awareness and support for organ donation in Canada, and to help improve the lives of kidney patients and their supporters all across British Columbia. “These great community events are lots of fun and filled with live entertainment, fantastic prizes, fundraising barbeques, silent auctions and so much more,” says Tucker. “Everyone is welcome! No minimum amount needs to be raised, just join the movement and walk, run to help us raise the flag on kidney disease.” The North Shore Kidney Run will take place this year at Ambleside Park on Sept. 23. There will be a 2.5 km walk, a 5 km timed run, and an 8 km timed run. Pledge forms are available at the Running Room, or register online at the Running Room or at Northshorekidneyrun.ca In B.C. adults wishing to register as organ donors can do so easily online at Transplant.bc.ca or by requesting a print registration form from B.C. Transplant at 1-800-663-6189

ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT? Ongoing labour dispute between provincial government and BCGEU will be responsible for more job action in future Lindsay Howe

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× News Editor

After failed attempts at the bargaining table between the province and the British Columbia Government and Service Employees’ Union (BCGEU), a decision was made by the union to stage a one-day strike on Sept. 5. The strike, which included some 27,000 BCGEU workers on over 1,700 different work sites throughout the province, included government-owned liquor store employees, certain ICBC locations, janitorial and groundskeeping staff at the University of Victoria, and affected a number of other government services. Only essential services, such as courthouse and prison employees, as well as child protection social workers, did not participate in the one-day strike aimed at bringing the province back to the bargaining table. The BCGEU represents 65,000 men and women in over 550 different bargaining units. The union was created in 1942 and later gained complete bargaining rights under the provincial labor code in 1974. Currently, members of the BCGEU are without a contract, after their demands were not met in the offer made to them by the province. Although the provincial government had offered a modest wage increase initially, that being a 2 per cent increase in the first year, along with a 1.5 per cent increase in the second, the BCGEU chose to reject the offer. The union then requested a 3.5 per cent wage increase in the first twelve months, accompanied by a cost of living increase in the second year. The province’s initial offer was then taken off the table. In an interview with the Province Newspaper,

Shirley Bond, currently serving as the Minister of Justice and Attorney General of B.C. expressed concern in regards to the BCGEU’s expectations saying, “It is unrealistic for the union to be asking for further wage increases given the uncertain world economic situation. We will not add to the deficit or ask taxpayers for more money to pay un-

ment employees in their decision to walk the picket line if the province will no longer offer a cost of living wage increase, a last resort for the frustrated workers. Darryl Walker, president of the BCGEU, told CBC, "We are looking for a fair and reasonable agreement, but the government is not listening ...

× Peter Pawlowski affordable wage increases.” Although we are indeed living in a time of economic uncertainty, a recent poll from the B.C. Federation of Labour showed that not all British Columbians are in agreement with Bond. According to the Federation, the poll of almost 1,000 B.C. residents showed that 75 per cent of those surveyed agreed that the BCGEU employees should receive a cost of living increase or more. The poll also showed that over 60 per cent of British Columbians support the govern-

There can be no falling behind for all our government workers.” Although job action is common in this province, when a discrepancy arises in the bargaining process, it is a serious concern when a large number of employees are threatening more job action, and government services that many British Columbians rely on will not be available. The next released date for job action will occur on Sept. 18. However, this job action will be specific to employees of ICBC. According to Global,

over 1,500 members of COPE 378 will be walking off the job and walking onto the picket line at 55 different ICBC locations province-wide. This will include the Capilano Claims Centre, Burnaby Claims Centre, Vancouver Kingsway Claims Centre and other ICBC related offices throughout the province. Nearly 1,200 of the employees will be walking off the job right here in the Lower Mainland with the other 300 striking in smaller communities around B.C. David Black, president of COPE 378 ICBC, confirmed that wages are at the centre of this labour dispute. “These are employees who have been without a contract for over two years, their wages are falling behind while ICBC executives and business partners got massive salary increases and $1.2 billion of ICBC profits went into government revenues,” he explained to Global, going on to explain that this decision for a second strike was not easy, and that he had high hopes of changing ICBC’s attitude with the Sept. 5 strike but was unsuccessful. Although there has been speculation that the strike won’t be the last for the union, as of print, only members of COPE 378 have set a date confirming that yet another strike will occur in the near future – due to the members’ frustration with the provincial government. It is not yet clear if this announcement from COPE 378 will be a precursor for all other bargaining units represented by the BCGEU to release dates for their next intended strike, but with the direction the dispute is currently going in, there is no time like the present to stock up on some alcoholic beverages at your local B.C. Liquor store.

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR... FALL? Visa delays prevent international students from attending fall semester Connor Thorpe × Staff writer The closures of visa offices in several countries have forced over 100 international students in B.C. to postpone their studies until the spring term, which commences in January 2013. Some of the affected students, who attend UBC, SFU and UVic, may not be able to return to school until the beginning of the 2013-2014 school year. So far, Canadian visa offices have closed in at least seven countries, including areas of the United States. When speaking to the Canadian University Press, Simon Fraser University Associate VicePresident of Students Tim Rahilly elaborated on the attitude of students and universities towards the visa delays, emphasizing the importance of resolving the situation as soon as possible. “We all understand the government is needing to save some money because of the economic situation,” Rahilly said. He continued: “We’d like to find ways where these students could find a way to get their visas processed in time for the school year.” Citizenship and Immigrations Canada does not allow for the completion and submission of visa applications online. As a result, students who live in an area affected by the visa office closures may find acquiring a visa in time for school difficult. However, visa processing for a closed office in Iran was transferred to Turkey. It is unclear whether operations for other closed offices will be relocated. An increased volume of visa applications resulting from the province’s initiative to increase the enrolment of international students may be contributing to the delay in issuing visas. Premier Christy Clark detailed plans to increase the number of international students in British Columbia from 94,000 to over 140,000 by 2015. The move

is intended to boost the economy by creating jobs. “If we can meet those targets, we can put 9,000 people to work and put another $500 million into our economy,” Clark said of the proposed expansion of the international student community in a CBC story. Danielle Vlemmiks, spokesperson for the Canadian immigrations department, believes that the influx of prospective international students is responsible for the delay. “The overall increase in processing times is due to the high volume of applications across the entire visa processing network,” Vlemmiks told CUP. The situation is not limited to British Columbia. Visa delays have struck schools in Ontario, Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island. “For different reasons they come late, some visas, some airfare things,” University of Prince Edward Island enrolment manager Jerry Wang told CBC. “This year I notice we have quite a few more visa delays.” “It’s just really long and it’s frustrating, and you’re just home doing nothing every day,” said University of Prince Edward Island student Chisom Ukasanya, also to CBC. UPEI is preparing for the arrival of international students mid-term, hoping to remove the necessity of a skipped semester. It has yet to be seen whether schools in British Columbia will take similar steps to accommodate students who arrive later in the semester. A similar situation developed overseas this summer as the U.K. Border Agency, which is responsible for the issuing of visas for international students who are currently and are planning to study in the United Kingdom, faced similar criticism and frustration from students as visas delays dragged on through the summer months. The delays have affected students who are waiting for visas required to both entering and exiting the country, leaving some students stranded inside the UK as they wait

for their documents to be returned to them, while others face uncertainty about whether they’ll be able to attend the fall 2012 semester. To BBC, Study Group International U.K. managing director James Pitman suggests that severe visa delays can affect perception of international students towards the quality of education in a country. “We need to make the UK as appealing an education destination as possible – hold-ups like these do not help,” Pitman said. Canada immigration authorities maintain that there has been no drop-off in the speed that visas are being approved for international students due to the recent closures and relocations of visa offices in the United States and abroad. The increased volume of international student visa applicants is purported to be the sole reason for the delays.

×Ivana djordjevic

LEGIONNAIRE'S SCARE Disease kills 11, infects 176 in Quebec City Connor Thorpe × Staff writer

Toronto and Ontario, citing what they felt was criminal negligence in the design and maintenance of the cooling towers which spread legionella in the outbreak. In the Montreal Gazette, Allen’s lawyer Jean-Pierre Ménard addressed concerns with the health authorities in how they dealt with the crisis: “Could the authorities have done things differently? From the beginning of the crisis, did authorities give the situation the attention it deserved?” It remains unclear whether the victims and families of the victims of the Quebec Legionnaire’s crisis will pursue legal action against those they feel are responsible for the outbreak.

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The Quebec crisis is not the first time Canada has been stricken with a serious Legionnaire’s outbreak. In 2005, 127 cases of Legionnaire’s were reported in Toronto among the residents and families of a nursing home. Of those infected, 23 died. Like the Quebec incident, cooling towers are thought to be responsible for the spread of the disease. Another smaller scale outbreak has also been documented in Chicago this summer, where 3 died and 10 were infected at a hotel. Solange Allen, the widow of one of the deceased in Quebec, spoke in the Montreal Gazette about the possibility of a class action lawsuit against the city. “This is very much a case of criminal negligence,” she said. Allen believes that she should have been provided with information that could have prevented her husband’s death. “Even though there was an outbreak and three people had already died, no one from the Health Department informed us. The Health Department should have sent letters to people’s homes advising us of the situation. This wasn’t done,” Allen said. “Had we known about the outbreak at the time, and had my husband been given antibiotics immediately, he might be alive today.” The families of victims of the 2005 Toronto outbreak also turned to legal action. They filed a group class action lawsuit against the City of

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A deadly outbreak of Legionnaire’s disease has sparked panic in Quebec City after killing 11 people and infecting 176 others. Initial reports indicated that the source of the outbreak originated in pools of stagnant water that collect in cooling towers, which feed into the ventilation systems of the buildings they service. While Legionnaire’s is not contagious through human contact, it is transmissible by air and was allegedly spread over a larger area by the cooling towers. Though cooling towers are the likely and suspected source of the Legionnaire’s outbreak, this theory has not been confirmed as of print time. The Quebec public health board, despite the urging of Mayor Régis Labeaume, has not released the specific locations of the buildings affected. Labeaume hopes that an honest investigation will be conducted. In a Globe and Mail article, Public Security Minister Robert Dutil agreed with Labeaume’s notion that transparency in the investigation was vital in preventing a similar outbreak: “Under the circumstances, we want a public inquiry because there is an obligation to testify and it allows us to get deeper into things and avoid it happening in the future.”

The city has taken steps to reduce the impact of the Legionnaire’s outbreak on the citizens of Quebec City. Inspections have been performed on 130 cooling towers in different Quebec neighborhoods, and information on the prevention of Legionnaire’s disease has been distributed to building owners in the hope of stifling potential future outbreaks. Specifically, building owners were ordered to maintain a standard amount of chlorine in the water of their cooling towers, as well as keep the water temperature at a heat that is not conducive to the growth of Legionnaire’s. Legionnaire’s, also known as legionellosis, is a bacterial disease that forms from legionella, bacteria that thrives in conditions that are commonly found in stagnant water. As it attacks the lungs, it is characterized by symptoms similar to pneumonia that occur after an incubation period of two to 14 days. These include: coughing, shortness of breath, malaise and fever. Legionnaire’s comes in two distinct forms: Pontiac fever and Legion fever. The outbreak in Quebec is of the latter and more severe variety. The elderly, smokers and those with weakened immune systems are at the highest risk of death from Legionnaire’s. The disease is primarily nonfatal to healthy adults. Due to the slow-developing nature of Legionnaire’s disease, a definitive match of bacteria taken from victims and the suspected cooling towers could take weeks.

cap calendar Contact us to have your event featured in the calendar. Don’t forget the date, time, address, and price! monday sept. 17 The Femme Project This work is made up of 66 photos accompanied by text and sound recordings and documents Vancouver’s self-identified queer femme community. The project comes together to “distinguish this group in a world where invisibility is common.” Head over to Cap’s art gallery to check out this powerful show.

Flamenco Rosario The Vancouver International Flamenco Festival has returned, and this event in particular is going to get you all revved up for the rest of the celebration. Designed as a lecturedemonstration, the catchy music will feature castanets and other flamenco-related magic. 7 p.m. Downtown VPL. Free.

Access Justice Legal Clinic Remember that time that woman was whining because she tied her dog up outside and got a fine from the City? I laughed so hard, but then I realized: sometimes knowing all the laws is really hard! Come to the Access Justice legal clinic and let your legal battles melt away. 7 p.m. The Treehouse, Library Building. Free, by appointment.

EarthWorks: The Ecological Footprint The once-bizarre concept of the ecological footprint is now something children are being taught about in elementary school. The creator of this concept, Dr. Bill Rees, is coming to Cap to talk about it! OMG! Seriously, I’m stoked. 7:30 p.m. NSCU Performing Arts Theatre. Free.

Vancouver Volunteer Corps Orientation Session I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the City of Vancouver has come out with this new program where citizens can help out other citizens when problems arise, or when they get lost, or when they need a friendly face. I’m personally relieved because I am that friendly face and I get asked questions all the

time and I’m too nice to ignore them so I end up missing my bus that doesn’t come for another hour. ANYWAY, this is exciting! You can learn about it here. 7 p.m. Fire Hall #18 (a fire hall!). Free.

Making Mind Maps Workshop I don’t know about you, but when I was in high school I hated making these cursed things more than any other kind of project. And then I graduated, and I realized that, fuck, they’re actually really useful and my anger had made me ignore instruction on how to make them properly. Well, here’s our second chance! 10 a.m. LB119. Free.

Olio Festival This sweet arts festival started with a tiny following and now attracts attendees in the thousands. It combines the best of all art worlds, and is ridiculously fun way to spend a couple of days. Yolo at Olio! Visit Olio.com for tickets, venue and show time details.

Wolf Mountain: Main Street Trail launch Local poetry and writing collective Wolf Mountain are celebrating the launch of their Main Street art installation (congrats to WM co-founder and <i>Courier</i> pal Dave Kenny!). Featuring readings, DJs and cheap drinks, this is set to be a real hootenanny. The Cobalt. 7:30. $5 online/$6 at the door.

Ladyhawke Known for catchy hits like “Paris is Burning”, this New Zealand woman is touring fresh of her second album, Anxiety. Taking inspiration from ’80s sonic trends, Ladyhawke’s music is captivating. 9 p.m. Fortune Sound Club. $20.

LOULOU Shop ‘til You Drop So here’s the thing. I started seeing posters for this everywhere and got really excited. And I told myself to calm down, because there was probably some catch and a shopping extravaganza for four hours with sweet deals wasn’t for everybody. So to do research for this little write-up I signed up and now I’m accidentally registered. I guess I’m going??? 5 p.m. Metrotown. Free??

Chris Smither This longstanding pillar in the folk-blues realm is coming to Cap as part of his tour with his 12th studio album, Hundred Dollar Valentine. Smither has been doing this for 40 years, and has established a very distinct sound with this acoustic guitar and gravely voice. 8 p.m. NSCU Centre. $27/30.

Rain City Chronicles – Extra Ordinary It’s an evening of storytelling and music, as part of the SFU Public Square Community Summit 2012, which is aiming to reconnect and re-engage Vancouverites. At this event community members will share the stories, and we’ll leave all feeling a little closer to one another. 6 p.m. Vancouver Playhouse. Free.

West End On-Street Mural This is the work party for what has been a long planning process for a team looking to paint a sweet mural down in the West End. They’ve decided what images will capture the neighbourhood, and now everyone gets to hang out and make friends and make something special. Why not! 7 p.m. Cardero St. between Nelson and Comox. Free.

North Shore Kidney Run This year marks the fourth year the North Shore has hosted the Kidney Run, and each year it’s been a beautiful time through Ambleside Park (where else, really?) They’ve already raised $16 thousand! Way to go guys! 8 a.m. Ambleside Park. Price varies depending on how far you want to run.

say with full authority that they’re awesome, and at this show it’s lead singer Jeff K. soloing, which is really nice. 6 p.m. Railway Club. $8.

North Shore Green Market Take a leisurely Sunday stroll and check out all the sweet vendors selling Canadian-made products. Cupcakes, jewelry and more! 11 a.m. Civic Plaza. Free.

tuesday sept. 18 Add/Drop Period Ends Still deciding if this is the semester you finally want to take care of that pesky math credit!? You better figure it out by today or else you’ll get a big, scary W slapped on your transcript, and nobody wants that. George W. Bush had one forever in his name, and everyone hated him because of it. All day. The Internet. Free.

wednesday sept. 19 Animal Collective Fresh off the release of their newest album, Centipede Hz, this group makes funky, refreshing music – and have been doing so since they were best friends growing up together in Baltimore. Cute story, sweet music, awesome live shows. 5:30 p.m. Malkin Bowl. $52.

Thursday sept. 20 Scott’s Birthday The Courier’s Fiction + Caboose editor, Scott Moraes, celebrates his birthday today! We will celebrate by all sporting a sassy Scottesque hairdo, and analyzing foreign films. If you see Scott around, tell him your favourite Cary Grant quote, or buy him a cupcake. Or both, ideally. All day. Everywhere. Cost of a cupcake.

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Friday sept. 21

She Speaks: Indigenous Women Speak Out Against Tar Sands Organized by the Indigenous Environmental Network, this event promises to offer thoughtful discussion and valuable information about the tar sands, from Indigenous women. 5:30 p.m. Aboriginal Friendship Centre, Coast Salish Territories. Free.

Saturday sept. 22 Father John Misty (Venue) Joshua Tillman only became Father John Misty a few months ago, and with his new name comes a very different sound from any of his previous releases. It’s exciting! 7 p.m. Venue. Free (with Olio festival wristband)/$15.

SUNday sept. 23 Acres of Lions I’m super excited about this because I’m not really that “in the know” about some of the more indie bands but here’s one that I actually know about! All because they sent my high school their demo and then we played it on our radio station and I fell in love. I can

Rooms, Spesh Pep, True Crush Local bands including the Courier’s Celina Kurz’s new “bad dreams and best friends” outfit True Crush play this cheap and fun show which also includes a vegan feast! 6:30 p.m., Toast Collective, $5

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monday sept. 24 Arrival ABBA tribute band OMGGGGGG! They’ve been called “The best ABBA show since ABBA!” and you know, I think it just might be true. These tribute bands are the real deal. One time I saw a tribute band for the Beatles and they were a bunch of older men who wore the costumes and everything, and then wished my sister a happy birthday. It ruled; this will too. 8 p.m. The Orpheum. $32-$56 for students.

Tuesday sept. 25 Kimbra Our second New Zealander of this calendar (see: Ladyhawke), Kimbra launched her debut album last year to much success. You, however, might know her as the woman’s voice (I seriously thought it was Katy Perry) on the overplayed “Somebody that I Used to Know” by Gotye. 8 p.m. Commodore Ballroom. $33.

The Shins/Washed Out We all know that the Shins are awesome, but did you know that they’re also really clever? They’ve launched the hashtag #Shinstagram for people to tag their photos with. It’s lol-worthy. Maybe Garden State’s Natalie Portman will be there to hum along and talk about dog penises. 7:30 p.m. The Orpheum. $57.

wednesday sept. 26 VIFF Starts Soon! Sometimes September can be sad because you think all the festival fun is over, but that’s only when you forget that this month is also when VIFF happens! The line up is sweet this year so my recommendation is that you just live at the festival and see everything. Various dates, times, ticket prices.

Pick-up Soccer Vancouver I didn’t even know this existed but it sounds like the perfect way for us non-competitive folk to get into team sports! You just go out with a bunch of people and kick around a ball for a while, and soon you’ll transform into the next DBex! 6:30 p.m. Trout Lake. Free.

Thursday sept. 27 Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti Whenever I hear this band’s name I always think of Ariel’s grotto from The Little Mermaid for some reason. Obviously they’re not about that at all, and are actually a really cool group that makes drum noises with their mouths and armpits. Attractive! 9:30 p.m. The Rickshaw. $18.

Business Fundamentals Info Meeting It’s business time! It’s business time! Learn about the Business Fundamentals program at Cap! 6:30 p.m. FR503. Free.

friday sept. 28 Vancouver Trumpet Consort I really love the sound of brass instruments, especially the trumpet. It takes so much talent to be able to play an instrument with only three real keys (and a whole lot of air control) and the fact that these musicians are going to play a bunch of jaw-dropping solos for you is really exciting! 11:45 a.m. NSCU Centre. Free.

Lynda Barry Lynda Barry is Capilano's artist-in-residence this year, and the imaginative brain behind comic Ernie Pook’s Comeek, which is both hilarious and charming. She’s also an artist in many other mediums, so come learn from someone who already knows how to be successful. 7:30 p.m. NSCU Centre. Free.

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Martyn Joseph Joseph is one of those performers who just sticks with you – he knows how to do a live performance well, and his hauntingly beautiful voice will remind you of comparable artists like Dave Matthews (LOL) and Bruce Springsteen (phew). 8 p.m. NSCU Centre. $25 advance/$27 at the door.

Madonna Is the material girl ever going to be on the borderline of going on for too long? She can thank her lucky stars, as it seems like she’s going to live to tell the story of another successful tour. If you’re a Madonna hater, Papa don’t preach – instead open your heart and keep it together. Because Madonna, we’re crazy for you. 8:00 p.m. Rogers Arena. $185-$375 (who is going to pay this!?).

Sunday sept. 30

Bloc Party They’re British indie rock, which is my absolute FAVOURITE genre! You know, if I had to pick one. Bloc Party was actually on hiatus and reunited only last year, and already has released a new album, Four (it’s their fourth album, how creative!) Everyone loves them, including me. 8 p.m. Vogue Theatre. $35.

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Patrick Wolf Wolf has one of the most fantastically diverse repertoires out there, covering everything from folk to techno-pop. What I’m stoked about is the fact that he uses both the ukulele and the viola. His fan base is called the Wolfpack, which is obviously really cute. If I ever am famous I want my fan club to have a cool name, too. .7 p.m. The Rio. $25.

Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d it o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

TWELVE ITEMS OR LESS

Yvette Yardanoff × Columnist

In defense of apples What falls upon your plate? It's fall and when I think of fall, I think of apples. Local, fresh and in-season from August to December. Who the hell gets excited about apples? I do! Crunchy, juicy, refreshing goodness, an apple is the perfect portable snack. If you wear braces like myself, you'll need to “slice your apple thinly.” I can hear my orthodontist nagging as I type, but for good reason. Do I want to spend one minute slicing my apple or half an hour at the orthodontist's, getting a bent wire repaired? Every year come September, sure as shit, I dreaded the start of school. I still do. Apples didn't cure my anxiety, but I was always delighted with the abundance of B.C. McIntosh apples. They are a perfect balance of tartness and sweetness, and absolutely thirst-quenching. When selecting a Mac, be on the lookout for good colour. Aiming for freshness, you want to find an apple that has some weight to it, thus ensuring ample water content. But with so many beautiful and tasty varieties out there, why limit yourself to the McIntosh? You might come across the Golden Delicious, Ginger Gold, Pink Lady, Jonagold, Gala or the Granny Smith. The Granny Smith is the classic baking apple, as it's very durable, holding up well in pies and crumbles. There are many more varieties of apples to discover. So the next time you're avoiding cleaning your place or working on an assignment, hit up a farmers’ market this fall. Vendors at the local farmers’ markets are more

than happy to share a sample of their wares. Red Delicious? Anything but! It’s the quintessential image of an apple on a teacher's desk, but tastes more like the chalk they used to use on blackboards back in the day. In elementary school, we had the well intentioned “apple machine.” You could hear its refrigeration system humming from upstairs over the drone of a particularly monotonous social studies teacher. It was a vending machine with an apple shaped window through which you could see “tempting” chilled Red Delicious apples. Some of the apples even had coins taped to them, as a luring incentive. On more than one occasion, I found myself trying to make the right choice, in purchasing an apple over candy. I didn't realize at the time that these lucky coins were compensation for what was to be some of my early disappointing culinary experiences. Biting into a Red Delicious, for me, created an imaginary experience of biting into a sour piece of driftwood. Chalky, woody, bitter, barf. Speaking of early culinary disappointments, my grandma's “roast a beef ” was also like biting into a piece of driftwood, but I would have bet doughnuts to dollars that driftwood would have been moister. When I'm procrastinating, wandering through the produce section, I'm usually hunting for a local organic apple. It just makes more sense environmentally and economically to buy organic B.C. apples. However, if no local organic apples are available, I will choose foreign organic apples over the domestic conventionally grown. Why?

GALLERY

Apples are one of the twelve items on the Dirty Dozen list. This list names the top 12 produce items found to have the most pesticide residue. Although apples are not an excellent source of fibre, they provide a decent amount, according to the World's Healthiest Foods, a subsidiary of the environmental group, the George Mateljan Foundation. Apples can also be beneficial when it comes to the regulation of blood sugar. In addition, a recent study concluded that people were more satiated after having consumed an apple, whole, as compared to applesauce or apple juice.

AN APPLE A DAY Apples! What can't you do with them? A quick and easy grilled cheese and apple sandwich on sourdough or multigrain, hot out of the pan. Crispy golden bread, the rounded flavour of delicious melted brie or the punch of a bolder cheddar and just enough crunch from the apple to create a party in your mouth. Okay, maybe not a party, but it might inspire you to make a second sandwich. Satiety or not, it's Friday night and apple cider is calling! On a student budget, Okanagan Premium or Grower's Cider might be the most reasonable choice. If you have a little more cash to spare, there is an organic option in B.C. Liquor Stores from the U.K., Weston's Premium Organic Cider. This crisp beverage is made with organic cider apples and aged in old oak, giving it a balanced and refreshing taste. Too much apple cider last night? Be sure to re-

hydrate while contemplating your hangover cravings. Some delicious caramelized apple pancakes and protein of your choice should get you propped up enough to hammer out that next assignment. It's Saturday night and if you didn't wreck yourself quite enough last night, there is a project out there that might be just right, for a select few. The apple bong. How do you like them apples? I'm all for savouring moments, slow food and letting go enough in life to let things simply happen on their own clock. Back in my youth, there were certain activities which, for me, required instant gratification. So the thought of having to carve out a bong before getting one's smoke on seems like a royal pain in the ass. To each their own, I don't want to upset the applecart. Whether you're extremely health conscious, like baking or other extra curricular activities, there is an apple out there for everyone. To find out more about the Dirty Dozen and the Clean Fifteen, check out the World's Healthiest Foods online at Whfoods.org. Yvette Yardanoff has worked in kitchens since her youth and traveled the world enough to know basically everything there is to know about food. From choosing unique ingredients to sitting down with a carefully prepared meal, Yvette believes the entire process is integral to one's happiness.

Jillian Aquino × Columnist

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Visual re-awakening

Aug. 31 is my New Year’s Eve. There is something about September - leaves falling from trees over still sunny days, crisp empty notebooks and shiny yet-to-be-chewed pens - that evokes a fresh start. September is when I make deals with myself, swear that this will be the year I’ll write the GRE/GMAT, stop eating out so much, exercise daily and save money - but the goal at the top of my resolutions list has been the same for the last few years: go out and look at art. To ease myself back into gallery going I start with Rodney Graham’s Canadian Humourist at the Vancouver Art Gallery on a bustling Tuesday (on Tuesdays admission is by donation from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.) What I like about Graham is that he lets you in on the joke. Veering left away from the crowds on the rest of the first floor I enter a slightly dimmed room filled with Graham’s lightbox photos. I follow the sound of a whirring projector to The Green Cinematograph Programme 1: Pipe Smoker and Overflowing Sink. In a room separate from the lightbox photos sits a green bench and a painted green cinematograph (a large dated projector), showing a green-tinged film alternating between two separate scenes: Graham smoking a pipe and a sink overflowing with water and soap bubbles. Misfortune permeates the room as the soap bubbles grow and multiply, spilling over the edge of the sink. Graham’s puffs of smoke billow onscreen, yet there is no connection between the scenes. The viewers are left to determine meaning on their own as the film in the cinematograph

droops into a green silhouette and the scenes switch back and forth. Graham’s art is unmistakably modern but his work references the past with a wink at the passing of time. In his large-scale lightbox works he has taken self-portraits in carefully constructed film studio-esque sets as an intellectual, a sous chef and a photo counter clerk. In the photo Canadian Humourist, Graham stands grey-haired wearing a tweed blazer, a white turtleneck and thick Buddy Holly glasses, leaning against an iconic Arne Jacobsen egg chair. He holds a fuchsia book in his hand amidst a wooden study filled with books ranging in topic from painting to humour to Ian Fleming, yet the room is furnished with mid-century furniture, including a teak trolley topped with a brightly knit tea cozy. Graham’s Humourist intellectual attempts to look distinguished yet “hip,” but is offset by a glimpse of his bright blue socks in his shearling-lined house slippers and, with a sly nod to the title, a plate of very Canadian Peek Freans Fruit Crème cookies atop his tea tray. A wry, deft touch can also be seen in Betula Pendula ‘Fastigiata’ (Sous Chef on Smoke Break), in which Graham sits defeated against a weeping birch on a cloudy day. Graham’s minute attention to detail is evident here again as he portrays himself as the aging sous chef. He pokes fun at his own status in the art world and his place in the Vancouver School of Conceptual Photography, clad in black wooden clogs and wearing a chef ’s coat from the Seasons in the Park restaurant, a

Vancouver landmark. If Betula Pendula ‘Fastigiata’ is a humourous nudge in your side, then Small Basement Camera Shop circa 1937 is like the open-faced slap on the arm after inducing a belly laugh. His witty comic approach and acknowledgement of the past comes together in this reconstruction of a 1930s camera shop. With disheveled hair, wearing a bowtie and a cardigan, Graham’s camera shop worker is hard at work, pen in hand. Under a very obviously staged bright set, further emphasized by the exposed pipe in the ceiling, modern techniques collide with the Kodak Bantam film and Baby Brownie Cameras of the past – and the irony of paying homage to film photography with a crystal clear digital image is not lost on anyone. From my seat on the single bench in the middle of the room, my eye is drawn to a final photo by the exit; a rusty red paint can perched on concrete blocks. It is lit up against a grey background, a chromogenic transparency mounted in an aluminum lightbox with walnut casing and a silken electrical cord. Heading out the door I smile to myself after glancing at Graham’s title - Can of Worms. Jillian Aquino lives her life through a funnel in which everything around her is artful, from her grocery store purchases to the layout of her bookshelves. Jillian is fascinated with the contemporary world and the way humans interpret it. Especially if that way happens to be insightful and beautiful.

Canadian Humourist, 2012 painted aluminum light box with transmounted chromogenic transparency dimensions TBD Courtesy of the artist

HE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE

Giles Roy × columnist

Where are we, really, in medicine’s biggest fight? Did you know they cured cancer? They did! They cured cancer, and greedy Swedish scientists have the treatment sitting in a jar, in a fridge, in Sweden. They’re just waiting for the highest bidder to come along and make them all rich. The treatment also cleans your bathroom and gives you a blowjob. The above sentiment (I mean, most of it) is culled from the headline of a Telegraph article that was published Aug. 31. The article, entitled “A virus that kills cancer: the cure that’s waiting in the cold,” then goes on to explain that this is only sort of the case. Dr. Magnus Essand, a certified Swedish scientist, has been experimenting with adenoviruses, testing their effectiveness in “eating” cancer cells, and has succeeded in breaking down certain cancerous tumors in mice. That has really happened. And Essand has, unsurprisingly, run into his share of financial hurdles. But what the article neglects to clarify is that this particular process is nothing new scientists have been using viruses in this way for years (it’s called oncolytic therapy) and Essand is actually just modifying adenoviruses to increase the virus’ infectivity rates. It also has only demonstrated results against one form of cancer. One of thousands. Stories of this type appear weekly at this point, each from sources of varying credibility, but each

with a similar goal. You’re to read them, vaguely understand the science behind them, and refer your friends to check out the website you found them on. It’s a false hope viral story, and one of the worst forms of sensationalism. Each miniscule discovery in this endless-seeming science test tends to bear a similar headline, and its journey from laboratory to Facebook feed will distort it significantly. “I’ve made minor progress in eliminating cancerous cells” turns into “Scientists may have cured cancer, more at 11,” which finally turns into “OMG guyz they cured cancer” or, in some cases, “The government has a cure for cancer but they can’t release it because they need to control us.” Granted, I’m Facebook friends with an unusually high number of idiots, but the entire process seems to occur with distressing frequency. But that’s not even the greatest offender in the convoluted fight against cancer. While media outlets attempt to generate traffic off of every development that occurs, naturalists capitalize (as in, earn real money) off of non-science. Rather than chemotherapy, which is by far the best treatment

available, some patients choose to turn to unproven practices like macrobiotic diets and herbal “remedies.” Chemo is expensive in itself, but at least it has a proven track-record. Again, the Internet is partially to blame. Peer-reviewed studies actually have indicated that macrobiotic diets can work as a preventative measure, but stories of patients turning to them medicinally are becoming increasingly frequent, as though it’s a truly viable alternative. These same peer-reviewed studies have established that it is not. Meanwhile, the profits perpetuate the growing industry behind it. So there are two main offenders here: those who believe that a cure for cancer exists but there’s some sort of conspiracy hiding it from the masses (stupid), and those who believe that a cure for cancer exists, and that it grows in the forest (tragic). The cure has obviously become a sort of Holy Grail among the scientific community - even more so than, oh, I don’t know, feasible space travel. And rightfully so! Cancer isn’t the world’s number one killer (heart disease) or even the number two (infectious disease), but it’s certainly the most rec-

"The treatment also cleans your bathroom and gives you a blowjob."

ognized. It’s like a super villain with a bomb, and the cure is its Batman, biding its time. Virtually everything in modern culture has been linked, at some point, to having some sort of effect on cancer - from our phones to cannabis to the sun. The freaking sun. This makes things sound bleak, sure. But the one thing to take from all of this is that one day, maybe soon, someone will find that missing piece. It may even be Magnus Essand! And, slowly, that treatment will work its way through the chain of other cancers. It’s going to be a gradual process, and when (not if!) someone figures it out, you’ll know. You’ll read about it everywhere. Not just a Facebook status, not NewAgeJournalOfScientificTruth.com, and certainly not TheyCuredCancerAndItWasAnInsideJob.com. This is as much about media greed as medicinal development, and in the meantime, you shouldn’t trust anyone. Except me. Feel free to trust me. Giles Roy is trying his best to put modern scientific developments into laymen’s terms for you, the nonscience-care-about-er. This makes sense because Giles is about as “lay” as it gets. If you’re a real scientist, cringing at every sentence in this column, he’s dreadfully sorry.

Jason Motz

LOCKED GROOVE

× columnist

There’s a Pussy Riot goin’ on court next time. When an artist, be it a punk or a folkie, a writer or a filmmaker, challenges the regime, they put their liberty at stake for the greater good of the global community. This is the lesson of Pussy Riot. Putin’s policies might not affect us here in Canada, but his suppression of artists’ freedom does. From the exile of Chinese dissident songwriter Ai Weiwei, to the public shaming of anti-George Bush acts like the Dixie Chicks, politics and music have an uneasy relationship. Each trial, exile, public shaming or boycott levied against an artist that speaks out against their own government represents a bullet to the head of freedom. If the Canadian government supports any action such as those against Pussy Riot (an action that Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird has yet to officially rebuke), then it sends a message to homegrown activists/artists: tone down the rhetoric…or else. With Russia's long and bloodied history of oppression, torture and exile, the Draconian

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bitchslap levied against Pussy Riot is not surprising. The sentence imposed on the group is not simply unjust, but medieval. Defying tyranny is one of the jobs of punk rock. Sacrificing personal freedom for the greater good of democracy is the price that, sadly, Pussy Riot has begun to pay. With their music now widely available, we can see what so infuriated and threatened Putin. As Russia prepares to host the 2014 Olympic Games and the 2018 World Cup, moves such as those taken against the young radicals in Pussy Riot demonstrate a lack of appreciation for basic human rights and freedoms. The surge of support for the band has been monumental, but until the women are freed, pardoned and granted safe harbour in their own country, pressure must remain on the Russian government to overturn their actions. Continued protests, social media campaigns and threats of boycotting both the Games and the World Cup might not be enough, but it’s a damn good start.

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oppressed and maligned, is not dead after all. Pussy Riot’s “debut,” Kill the Sexist, is now widely available on most torrent sites. Crudely produced, the six songs on sexist screech by in 10 rabid minutes. The songs rise above their humble sonic origins into one of the most visceral albums of 2012 (the songs are in Russian, naturally, but there are sites offering unverified translations). Pussy Riot may never win praise for musicianship, but critiquing their musical value is irrelevant in the face of recent events. To quibble about, say, the warmed-over Strokes vibe of “Kropotkin-Vodka” would be an insult. Pussy Riot is a firebrand group in the tradition of punk’s roots: sloppy with aggression, lyrically strident and marred by varying production quality. Like the Clash, Pussy Riot’s intensity never wavers. Sexist is a textbook example of the filth and the fury that made the Sex Pistols seemingly dangerous. While the Pistols, contrived as canned Spam, posed no real physical or moral threat to the monarchy, Pussy Riot is a danger to Putin. In “Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Banish Putin” the band lays out their manifesto: “God, banish him, we pray thee!” they ask. Later they do Joe Strummer proud: “Bless our festering bastard-boss / Let black cars parade the Cross / The Missionary's in class for cash / Meet him there, and pay his stash.” Are these the words of dangerous revolutionaries or an illustration of a quasi-political rhyme scheme? To Putin it would seem to be the former. As comedian George Carlin once noted, ”rights aren’t rights if someone can take them away; they’re privileges.” The case of Pussy Riot is a reminder of how precarious these “privileges” are. This is not simply a Russian problem. Wherever there is freedom of expression, the spectre of oppression is never too far behind. That the trial of Pussy Riot happened in Putin's court makes for great drama, but it could be Harper or Obama's

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Getting busted by the Russian po-po is the best thing to ever happen to Pussy Riot. Well, in a manner of speaking. Commercially, the PR nightmare of their March arrest was the kind of publicity punk bands since the Sex Pistols have long courted. These days there are bigger worries for Pussy Riot than street cred. The arrest of three members of Pussy Riot (an anonymous, agitprop musical collective) garnered international attention, raising the profile of the obscure, left wing punk band. The crime they committed was performing a song that openly undermined Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin. In legalese: “hooliganism motivated by religious hatred.” Performing said song inside of a Catholic church was a critical error on the band’s part. Those arrested were later sentenced to two-year prison terms. They have been vilified by Orthodox Christians in Russia and, in a macabre twist, “implicated” in a series of recent murders. While the latter proved to be false, it does demonstrate the distaste that some in Russia have for the politics and the people behind an outfit such as Pussy Riot. Other members of the group have reportedly fled the country. As a result, Pussy Riot has gone from the blanket of obscurity to being a cause célèbre symbolizing oppression, state censorship, resistance, and injustice. Put another way, this isn’t the “punk” of Green Day; Pussy Riot is the real shit. Pussy Riot is a few nails shy of absolute martyrdom, but their case has attracted the attention of organizations like Amnesty International and Democracy Now, celebrities including Sir Paul McCartney, the Beastie Boys and Björk, and highprofile Russian ex-chess champion Dmitri Kasparov. Add to the mix the chorus of regular folks from Canada, America, Europe and Russia, who have signed petitions and used social media as a sounding board for their disgust, and what you have is a symphony of global dissent. Punk rock, the music that at its best serves as the voice of the

FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

INTERNATIONAL sTUDENT$: HERE TO STAY OR HERE TO SPEND? Scott Moraes

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× Humour + Fiction Editor

In May of this year, B.C. unveiled a renewed strategy for attracting and keeping foreign students. One of the main pillars of the new B.C. International Education Strategy, which functions on both provincial and federal levels, is to promote a “global two-way flow of students, faculty, staff and ideas” that is well-aligned with current and future demographic and labour market issues. Coordination between education and immigration policymakers on both provincial and federal levels needs to be strengthened if such strategies are to succeed on a win-win scenario – profiting schools and universities as well as serving Canada's immigration needs. Presently, Canada's unregulated tuition fees for international students and still complicated legal procedures are hurdles to keeping students in the country. In an interview with B.C. Newsroom, Capilano student Michelle Sayers highlighted some of the cultural benefits of having foreign students. "International students bring opinions to the class that relate to their own country, increasing the knowledge of the professor and the other students. They create debate by challenging what we think and say about their country. And they're really involved in the school. They want to make the most of their experience here so they get involved in extracurricular activities and encourage locals to participate." Beyond valuable cultural exchange, Canada’s low birth rate and ageing baby boomers make immigration vital to maintaining a sustainable economy. From this point of view, young international students who may not have planned on staying could be prime candidates for immigration. They have the potential to become particularly valuable additions to the workforce, more so than sponsored relatives who will exit the workforce and require state support within a couple decades. Concerns that immigrants will steal jobs and university spots from Canadians are often raised, but statistics further indicate that immigrants (newly arrived in particular) still make less money than their Canadian counterparts and have a much higher rate of unemployment, despite often having higher levels of education and more work experience. However, popular opinion, in the form of Internet debate on newspaper articles concerning the new international education plans, reveals an array of issues “native” Canadians are not happy about: One reader of the Vancouver Sun wrote passionately that “locals cannot get accepted [into universities] even though they, and their ancestors paid for the institutions through taxes”; another added some sarcasm: “training Asian students for their growth of tomorrow. I am glad my tax payer dollars are at work for the rest of the world!”. Some make an interesting case arguing that “charity starts at home,” and that Canada's neglected Aboriginal youth should take precedence over foreigners.

THE MONEY FACTOR As commodities, international students are more valuable than Canada's exports of unwrought

aluminium, helicopters, airplanes and spacecraft, according to a federal government report published in May. The report adds that “education services are now Canada’s 11th largest export, and its single largest export to China.” Official reports boast that when accounting for additional tourism benefits from international students, the expenditure resulting from them in 2010 was $8 billion, which translates to 86,570 jobs and $455 million in government tax revenue. And therein lies the main apparent reason for the restored hype about foreign students. While a great part of domestic students finance their education through government-sponsored student loans (a long-term investment), international students usually inject their funds directly into the Canadian economy, through tuition, living expenses and discretionary spending such as shopping sprees at Metrotown, theatre popcorn, “real” maple syrup, overpriced airlifts to Grouse Mountain, and skiing in Whistler. According to a myriad of official reports, international students are primarily positive statistics, job-creating forces, vital and steady pieces of the grander economic machinery. Coming from a somewhat different perspective, Donna Hooker, director of the International Student Centre at Capilano University, suggests that, when looking at plans for attracting international students, “we have to look at the different agendas of different stakeholders. The provincial government may have a greater interest in the economic aspect, but we as educators want to see that foreign students get the opportunity to study and work here and that they share their experiences and their cultures with our domestic students who may never have the opportunity to study or travel abroad.” Multicultural sensitivity is an increasingly critical part of the tightly connected world we live in, so reciprocal cultural exchanges are significant for both personal and professional networks. In line with the province’s new initiatives, Capilano University's goal is to increase the percentage of its international students from nine per cent of total students to 15 per cent, within a few years.

TUITION FEES In statistics from 2009, the University of British Columbia topped the list as the priciest Canadian university for international students, charging a full time international student an average of $19 thousand a year. A comparative chart on UBC's website shows that on average, its international students pay four to five times the amount domestic students do - as of 2012, that means that foreign students are charged an average of $25 thousand a year in tuition. Capilano University's fee was also recently increased, with a hike from $450 per credit to $500 per credit, leading to an average cost of $15 thousand a year in tuition. Although international student tuition fees have been on a steady rise over the past 15 years, this has not caused the number of international enrolments to drop. What this signifies is a shift upwards on the financial threshold that makes international education a viability for

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potential students. The most common and widely accepted explanation for the discrepancies is that universities do not receive government operating funding for international students and thus regain costs exclusively through tuition and ancillary fees. Indeed, the vast majority of international students and their families have not contributed at all to the Canadian revenue system that funds public universities and subsidizes the education of native Canadians. However, according to the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance, “this does not explain the size of the gap, as universities receive more revenue per undergraduate international student than they do from the combination of a domestic student’s tuition fees and accompanying government revenue.” The Task Force on Competitiveness, Productivity and Economic Progress (an independent institution) estimates international undergraduate students pay between $4,000 and $5,000 more than what institutions receive from domestic students through tuition and government operating grants. "International students were not charged differential tuition fees prior to the late 1970s,” according to a Canadian Federation of Students report. “During the negotiations of federal transfer payments to the provinces in 1976, the federal government suggested that introducing differential tuition fees was an acceptable way for the provinces to generate additional revenue at institutions.” The report also posits that because international students have little direct political influence in Canada, many provincial governments and institutional decision-makers see them as an easy tar-

get. For instance, while Quebec students are still involved in protests over a tuition hike proposal, international student activism is, quite simply, non-existent, even in the face of such astronomically high fees. “In some provinces,” the CFS report concludes, “governments have completely deregulated fees charged to international students so that universities are free to exploit them as a replacement for government funding.”

THE EDUCATION IN/ AU CANADA BRAND With the international education sector rapidly expanding (the worldwide number of mobile international students is predicted to double by 2025), there is strong competition for a bigger share of the market. Given that Christy Clark’s recent job plan included increasing the number of international students by 50 per cent in four years, Canada is working through policy to make itself more attractive. Although Canadian society is widely thought to be very receptive to foreigners, our universities do not have the prestige and the scope of globally recognized institutions like Harvard and Oxford. Canada's current share of the market rests at around four per cent, with the United States at 20 per cent, the UK at 12 per cent and Australia at 7 per cent. At the same time as destination countries compete for a larger share of the market, countries like India, China and South Ko-

rea are attempting to boost their education budgets in an effort to prevent students from leaving. The resulting tug-of-war is likely to result in fiercer branding strategies. Canada's International Education Marketing Action Plan addresses the issue of promoting the image of Canada and its educational system, through improving market research, implementing a publicity strategy in foreign markets, enhancing its web presence, and conducting a "Pan-Canadian survey of the international student experience," as well as "easing the visa pipeline" through "improved transparency within the system." As well as the usual methods such as websites, international educational fairs and events, Donna Hooker explains that recruitment is also effective on a local level, trying to “reach international students enrolled in secondary schools and private language schools in B.C. who might be willing to transition into university life in Canada.” Overall there appears to be a solid marketing strategy on how to attract students on both quantitative and qualitative levels, but “how do we make them stay?” is the question that begs for further elaboration. According to the marketing plan, “Canada’s brand must be supported by a regulatory regime and infrastructure that reinforce rather than undermine its message to students about the attractiveness of Canada as a destination for study. The plan acknowledges that the implementation of immigration-related action items will require engagement and collaboration with CIC in the context of provincial/territorial relationships with CIC.”

WINNERS OR LOSERS

not sure if I can become a permanent resident.” She also points to difficulties in making Canadian friends: “I could easily make international friends, but I found it is difficult to make Canadian friends. I sometimes feel that I am isolated from 'Canadian society',” Despite the difficulties, there are also benefits and resources that exist for international students. Foreign students not only have access but are encouraged to join into Canada’s universal healthcare plan (often cheaper and more efficient than most private plans); and in comparison with the U.K. or the U.S., processing times and legal procedures are often much easier here. With no reliable maps on how to get through the legalistic maze of immigration procedures, the road to permanent residence is reserved for those willing to dig deep into the thorny regulations, or, even better, spend hefty fees on professional legal advice. One of the best-kept secrets in service of immigrants in general are the pro bono (free!) legal clinics offered by the UBC Law Students' Legal Advice Program (LSLAP), in which students offer legal advice under the mentorship of professional lawyers. Capilano University has its own International Student Centre with advisors available five days a week, a separate international student orientation day, and an International Mentorship/Leadership Program in which newcomers can engage with more experienced students and get advice on a variety of issues, as well as build connections. Both Xu and Yamamoto are mentors. Yamamoto says her first year at Cap was very lonely, and that she decided to be a mentor at Cap “to help new international students to connect to the society.” She adds that as a mentor, “I want to try my best to make new students not feel lonely.”

Richard Xu, 22, came to Capilano University two years ago to finish the two last years of a BBA degree begun in China. “For me,” he says, “the most exciting part of studying at Cap is that teachers are really knowledgeable and reliable. Also, I love the freedom element here at Cap: I can express my ideas in class at any time.” Xu acknowledges that our immigration laws are fairly straightforward in theory, and that he can become a permanent resident if he finds and keeps a full-time job for a year after graduation, but it is easier said than done. “Right now,” he says, “I am trying to find a part-time accounting job, but it is really hard for international students to get a job here even though I did many volunteer jobs before. I feel frustrated right now.” Whether international students as a whole feel victimized or well-served by Canada's immigration policies is hard to assess. Students come from a variety of economic classes (some making extreme financial sacrifices while others are millionaires) and with different goals and expectations. In general, the life of the average international student - those wanting to complete a degree or intent on taking the long road to permanent residence - is no walk in the park. Finding a job usually requires previous experience (ironically, “in Canada” experience, since foreign credentials and references are hardly ever recognized), and work permits come with restrictions and expiration dates. Nao Yamamoto, 23, is from Japan, but she feels her identity is better expressed in Canada: “I'm not planning to go back to my country because I feel I can be myself more in North America. But I'm

CapU also offers 10 – one thousand dollar awards each year to students who have exceeded academically or in community action. Students with the audacity to use all such resources to their advantage will probably find their adaptation a lot smoother. Foreign students who are intent on finding work in Canada would also be wise to take on volunteer positions on or off campus while waiting for a valid work permit in order to accumulate precious in-Canada work experience, references and expand their social networks.

THE WAY AHEAD As long as Canada's domestic education budget issues are not addressed, international students are likely to continue to be treated with a measure of subtle but calculated extortion in order to compensate for budget shortages and prevent hikes in domestic fees. Canada does have the means to walk the walk and deliver the mainstays of its branding image: The educational quality, the cultural diversity, the social welfare state, the safety and the landscapes. With a full assessment of the legal, economical, political, and cultural factors, Canada could turn its international education strategy into a major success, benefiting but not depending on the economic wealth produced by foreigners while investing in the human resources it needs to prevent talent shortages in the future. As Western University president Dr. Amit Chakma told University World News, “Attracting the best international students will ensure that the world sees Canada as the place to be for top talent, global partnerships and business opportunities.”

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FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

A novel Idea Discovering that book clubs aren't just for oprah enthusiasts Leah Scheitel × Opinions Editor

Public washrooms and book clubs may be two of the last socially acceptable places for a strong gender gap. Most book clubs are offered exclusively to women or to men, but rarely to both. The gender divide may seem old fashioned in our modern era, but it is how the first book club formed – as a way for women to talk about literature. According to Suite101, a literary blog and forum, book clubs date back to the 1720s when the luxury of reading was reserved for the upper classes. Rachel Jacobsohn, author of The Reading Group Handbook, believes that book clubs were primarily a social outlet for women, where they could discuss subjects with the same intensity and eloquence as their male counterparts did. According to Jacobsohn, one of the first book clubs was made up of “white glove-wearing, hatwearing, tea-drinking, elitist old white women.” This club was so exclusive that the only way to get into it was to inherit a place from a female family member.

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Division + inclusion

This gender divide in book clubs is still very obvious. One of the more prevalent stereotypes is of book clubs as female dominated forums, where Oprah enthusiasts get together with homemade low-fat scones, and discuss the protagonist’s abusive childhood in detail. There are few other social situations where the gender divide is formal. Dara Parker, a representative from Qmunity, a LGBTQ outreach centre in Vancouver, agrees: “I know of more women’s book clubs than men’s book clubs. It’s interesting because we don’t have many gender specific groups, so it’s interesting to ask why books clubs are gender specific.” Qmunity offers both women’s specific and men’s specific book clubs, yet they are slightly different because both clubs are transgender inclusive. “They’re a bit unique in the fact that they are gender specific. They’re both trans inclusive, so they’d both include trans-men and trans-women, and they are also inclusive of allies.” Qmunity is thinking of offering an allgender book club alongside the female-specific and male-specific versions. All books are chosen to be LGBTQ friendly, often picking books that deal with the history and politics of the culture. All of the books are chosen out of the library at Qmunity centre. “We have the largest queer book collection in western Canada. We have over 4000 titles. It’s a great resource that not everyone knows about,” explains Parker. “It’s called, Out on the Shelves.” All of the programs offered by Qmunity can be found on their website, Qmunity.ca.

Why Women? Female book clubs are often used as a cradle for ladies to talk about issues specific to them. Jenell Schmale is part of a book club that uses the books to discuss feminist issues. “It didn’t necessarily start out as a feminist

kind of thing,” she explains, “but everyone who was involved with it identified on some level as a feminist, and brought that into our experience of analyzing books.” But their club isn’t exclusively for girls. A male friend of hers is interested in joining the book debates, and the club is open to having a male join. “Basically, if you identify with feminism you can be a member and join our club. I think it will just bring a different voice into it. I don’t think it will make it any better or worse. Just bring in a different voice,” Schmale says about having a lone male join. Schmale has noticed the stereotype amongst her peers. When she talks about her experience in the club, classmates ask her if she’s read Oprah’s favourite book of the month, or books that are popular within the media like Fifty Shades of Grey. “I have to say, ‘No, we don’t read stuff like that.’ Usually, we pick older books.” The club is currently reading Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. Every month, a different member picks a book that they want to read, so the club gets a diverse selection.

And other guys will do the same.” The roll of the dice chooses the books. Every month, a club-wide email is sent out and everyone can pitch a genre that they would like to read from. The genre is chosen by rolling the dice to see what they will read. Then another email is sent where members can suggest titles within that genre. Again, the dice are rolled, and that is how the book is chosen for the month. It’s a gamble. Book clubs enable a solitary activity like reading to become a social one. Diverse opinions are discussed and argued in a variety of environments. Although book clubs have gained the somewhat

sexist reputation of being like a “hen house,” where women bitch about the books and their husbands, it doesn’t have to be like that. The AMBC and the Qmunity book clubs are examples of diverse clubs that still enjoy talking literature. Book clubs can offer a space for women to talk about issues that matter to them without fear of ridicule from anyone. Socializing with books can satisfy the intellect and the heart at the same time, and even the Oprah Book Club stereotype can’t hinder that. As Berard said about joining the AMBC: “It was a no brainer, just books and buddies.”

1st rule of book club The female domination in book club culture is the primary reason for the birth of the All Male Book Club (AMBC), which is a club based out of Vancouver that boasts about 40 members. “My friend Rob wanted to read more. He felt that he didn’t read enough,” explains Mike Berard, a writer and editor for various magazines and member of the AMBC, “but he didn’t want to enter a regular book club because they were mostly female, and older females, and often kind of gimmicky like Oprah’s Book Club, and he just didn’t want to be a part of anything like that.” The AMBC was formed as a tongue and cheek kind of joke towards traditional book clubs, and is now celebrating its tenth birthday this month. Over its time, the book club has morphed into more of a fraternity, with members getting suspended for not following through on bets or paying up on poker games, and little force to actually read books or partake in discussions. “The good thing is that we kick each other out really easily too. It’s easy to get suspended,” explains Berard, “We do meet here and there, but it’s rarely about books. I guess it is more like a fraternity where you can also share what books you’ve been reading. When we do get together, it’s poker, disc golf, scotch club, and stuff like that.” The club’s attitude towards books and culture has made their member's girlfriends and wives envious. One girlfriend tried to replicate the AMBC, by creating the All Female Book Club, but according to Mike’s wife, Allie, it lacked the same happy-go-lucky attitude towards books, and became more like a stereotypical all-women book rant. But Berard also says that inviting girls into the club would alter the dynamic for the group. “It’s a place for guys to speak like guys, make guy jokes. Even though its mostly email based it’s still a lot of shit talk and making fun of each other. It’s just a different sort of humour.” Berard says that the club is really relaxed about reading and discussing the books: “I often don’t read the books, I’ll read other books. I’ll read whatever I want, but I’ll often do book reviews on the books I have read for them.

× DAve Mcansh

CAPILANO COURIER BOOK CLUB By Natalie Corbo Fall is coming and that means that it’s the perfect time to pick cozy up with a cup of coffee and a good book. Reading is a primarily solo activity, and if that sounds dreary to spend all of winter reading alone, let the Courier comfort you on those cold lonely nights. We’re starting our very own, inclusive (but also sort of exclusive) book club. Each month we’ll select a book to read, and then have a variety of differing voices discuss it in print. So we can’t actually be right there with you per se, but you can certainly cuddle up with a copy of the paper and pretend we are. Better yet, come to a story meeting and have your voice included in our book reviews: Tuesdays at noon in Maple 122. Our first Courier Book Club selection is Jeffrey Eugenides’ The Marriage Plot. If you want to follow along with us, pick up a copy at your local library and join in our discussion.

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arts

arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

IT DON'T MATTER IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE Arts Club’s Clybourne Park begs questions with laughter JJ Brewis × Editor-in-chief “It applies in many ways to Vancouver. We have gentrification as well, with people going into poor areas and buying up the places. That's what's happening here,” says Janet Wright, celebrated local actor/director and former Corner Gas star, who is ecstatic about her newest role as director for Arts Club’s production of Bruce Norris’s critical smash hit Clybourne Park. The celebrated stage play is a welcome opportunity to open people’s eyes using humorous undertones, reflecting on major social issues, notably racism, through a unique narrative lens. “We are a multicultural city,” says Wright. “But we're certainly not beyond feeling certain ways about certain people and not admitting it.” The play tells two stories, with each act dealing with issues surrounding community. In Act 1, a grieving couple mourns the tragic loss of their army vet son, selling the house in hopes of leaving bad memories behind. In Act 2, the house is again switching hands to new owners who want to demolish it for something bigger, but their plans are jeopardized when a community heritage society tries to protect the building. These story arcs prove to be just the skeleton for an overload of confrontations all steeped in heavy social issues. The play, which takes place in a Chicago neighbourhood of the same name, is quite

heavy-handed in delegating the blame equally amongst its ensemble. Throughout the performance, the wealthy, all-white demographic of 1950s Clybourne Park transforms into a more ethnically diverse modern 2000s locale. Both halves take place within the context of the same physical home, aiming to challenge similar but shifting social landscapes. If the material feels fresh, it’s a reflection that the play itself is in fact quite new. Debuting only two years ago in New York, Clybourne has gone on to win the Pulitzer Prize for Drama (2011) as well as the Tony Award for Best Play (2012). The Arts Club is the first group to bring it to Vancouver. The seven-person cast takes on varying roles in both acts, portraying classic and modern social archetypes, from Russ (Andrew Wheeler), a downtrodden patriarch; to Karl (Robert Moloney), the nosy, racist neighbour who will stop at nothing to stop a black couple from moving into his community. “Some of the actors have to play people who are overtly racist,” says Wright. She says that “having to go there without holding back and being embarrassed to do it,” is a testament to great acting. Certainly, vocalizing the antithesis of social progress in front of a packed house isn’t on everyone’s bucket list. On top of the play’s overarching racial issues, sub-plots of grief, social expectation and others keep the audience on their toes. The play examines some shocking revelations

about its characters and the societies they habitat, extending to the audience as well. In just under two hours, the company manages to make the audience ponder some of society’s heaviest issues in an unconventional way. “We see things in the play that nobody should ever laugh at, but it makes you laugh because it's so outrageous,” says Wright. “It's not going for a laugh, it just elicits laughter. A lot of times, I think the audience is embarrassed that they're laughing.” While it’s not very conventional to make a room full of people chuckle over subjects such as suicide, segregation and misogyny, the formula really works, thanks to a combination of brilliant writing and meticulous staging. “I like directing a play like this because it's nice to open people's eyes,” says Wright. What’s fascinating about Clybourne is that it challenges its audience, throwing dramatic conversational curveballs at its cast, aiming to challenge and enlighten the viewer rather than point fingers. In the second half of the performance a multi-character argument ensues in which the production sidesteps between humour and dramatics in an extended medley of jokes regarding gender, race, and class. The results are shockingly poignant. What the script itself tells us is that many elements about how society has both changed for the positive and remained stagnant in others. In the opening act, set in the ‘50s, a pastor visits the grieving family, whereas in the modern set, lawyers

accompany the families. Though religion has taken a backseat to the law, and the neighbourhood has changed demographics, we learn that mindsets remain clouded with bigotry, and we’re just a bit more tight-lipped about our opinions. “It's a study about how people inherently have a certain amount of racism no matter how liberal they think they are,” says Wright, who believes this attitude applies to Vancouver just as much as it would Chicago. The application of such material to what we believe to be a modernist society is downright uncanny. “It tells us that we really haven't changed as a society,” Wright explains. “Black people obviously have more rights than they did in the ‘50s. But I think the race issue is still as strong as ever, and I think that was [Norris’] point.” Arts Club’s Clybourne Park plays at The Stanley Theatre (2750 Granville) through Oct. 7.

Robert Moloney, Deborah Williams, Marci T. House, and Daren Herbert in the Arts Club Theatre Company’s production of Clybourne Park. Photo by David Cooper.

Come to the Courier's AnnuAl GenerAl meetinG!

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Thursday sepTember 27 11:30-12:30 in maple 122 Capilano universiTy

run for The board of direCTors! eaT free pizza! sTudenTs are eligible To voTe so please bring your sTudenT id’s

OLIO IS FUN FOR ALL-IO Music, comedy, art, film, skateboarding and fashion collide in super-festival Natalie Corbo ×Features Editor “We're trying to be more than just a music and arts thing. It sounds cheesy but we want it to be pretty much the same style as your life, a lifestyle festival, just whatever you're interested in – we have it,” says Olio festival director and co-owner Jason Sulyma. In a local arts scene that is anything but homogenous, Vancouver's four-year-old Olio festival is a diverse, collaborative effort that brings together the city's often segregated artistic communities. The festival started in 2009 with music, comedy, art and film, and has grown each successive year, now also including a skateboarding event, and this year's newly added fashion events. In a city which doesn't have a reputation for coddling its arts and music scene very much, every local festival seems like an impressive feat to pull off, Olio Festival especially, at which Sulyma expects to see 10,000 people this year. When the festival started four years ago, 3,500 people attended, and that number has grown steadily since. It's a labour of love that takes a dozen friends the entire year to put together. Sulyma adds, “These are your five days to catch up on everything that's been going on in the scene locally, as well as what we think is the next big stuff overseas, and some big stuff that's already established.” It's not meant to be everything, but it does try to include a diverse cross-section of artists and performers. The festival website offers listings of artists by genre, emphasizing the inclusion of everything from punk to rap to orchestral. That said, the musical buffet tends primarily towards indie rock and electronica. While the first incarnation of the festival in 2009 featured mostly local independent bands,

the headliners this year include international acts like Ladyhawke and Father John Misty alongside well-known Canadian acts such as Julie Doiron and Shout Out Out Out Out. “There's a niche to be filled, like local artists mixing with international artists and the collaborations between both of them on stage is what we're trying to accomplish,” says Sulyma. The wristband all-access format of the festival means that people are willing to take a chance on shows they might otherwise not see. Olio veteran Nick Harvey-Cheetham, member of sketch

× Chris Dedinsky comedy group Pump Trolley, which will perform for the third year in a row, says that last year's show offered them a wider audience than usual. “It seems like a lot of the people who came weren't just comedy fans but were Olio fans who were just at the festival and came to check it out, so it was a much bigger response than what we would usually get for that kind of a show. It's nice to see the city embracing the cool stuff that's going on in the

self-produced comedy world.” Sketch comedy isn't yet a huge scene in Vancouver, but this year's Olio Festival provides a forum for what Harvey-Cheetham calls, “the most collaborative thing that's happened in the sketch world in the city in a while.” Pump Trolley, along with Peter n' Chris, Gregor Robertson-approved local improv heroes The Sunday Service, and the Seattle contingent called Charles, make up Friday night's International Sketch Showcase. “It's a cool coming together of the different groups that are active in the city ... and this year we're all going to be collaborating, like all the different groups are writing the whole show together which is a totally new thing and that's really exciting, I think,” says Harvey-Cheetham. The festival also brings together different areas of the city, making normally unrelated venues into five-day allies. Those who frequent Antisocial or the Biltmore are likely not seen at Five Sixty or Library Square, but all of those venues and more will host Olio events. And as festivals often have the power to do, Olio adds some late-September excitement to the city. “It's nice to see the venues that we're familiar with come to life every night for a few days,” says Harvey-Cheetham. “There's always something going on everywhere, and it's nice to bounce around the different spots ... it seemed like it really energized the scene for a while.” For anyone with a wristband, Sulyma advises, “Don't do what you usually do on the weekend and show up at midnight; get out early and get going at like seven, eight o'clock and see everything.” While Vancouver's comedy scene seems to be rather gifted with punctuality, live music has more of a “we'll play when we play” vibe, so these tightly scheduled festival shows are truly something to be savoured. Olio Festival runs from Sept. 19-23

NOW SWING YOUR PARTNER The old-style dance that’s becoming new again Leah Scheitel ×Opinions Editor

The Hives prove more than retro appeal By JJ Brewis, editor-in-chief

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It may not seem that far back, but it was a decade ago that garage rock resurged in a big way, with artists like the White Stripes, the Strokes, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs bringing a fuzzed-out, guitar-based sound back to the masses. After the pop dominance of the ’90s, it was a well-needed refresher for many of us, but over the past 10 years, pop and urban sounds have again ruled the charts. So, where does this leave a group like Swedish quintet the Hives in 2012? The band, which made a break for the big time in the early 2000s, let the Commodore Ballroom decide. “Sometimes we are fantastic, and at other times merely great,” boasted lead vocalist Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist. “I think tonight we are well on our way to fantastic.” Cocky, sassy and filled with all the makings of a perfect frontman, Almqvist lived well up to his reputation on stage banking on the persona and performance antics that he’s become known for, throughout the Hives’ career. Suited up in a dapper tuxedo, tails and top hat included, Almqvist looked like a proper gentleman in appearance, but his demeanour was anything but. “Is my fly open?” he yelled at the crowd, shocked at what he interpreted as not enough applause. “In Sweden it is bad manners not to clap when the Hives play.” And just like that, the entire ballroom was filled with a full-on roar of approval. Begging for applause never comes off as classy, but Almqvist has a way about him that could make basically anything seem cool. When he’s swinging his microphone around by the cord, jumping in the air every 10 seconds, and clapping to his own songs, it’s a perfect mixture of swagger and boastful that comes off as endearing, but fully respectable. During the encore he had the audience “do the Moses”, splitting them in half and having them sit their asses on the sticky dance floor, just so he could exit the stage and parade himself up and down toward the bar, stealing the odd sip of a crowd member’s gin and tonic. Everyone somehow loved him all the more for it. It isn’t all Almqvist’s antics that make the show worth it, though he is the main attraction. The songs themselves hold up well, their irresistible pop hooks, outrageous wailing vocals and ripping guitar chords all locked in a two to three minute time frame a mark of great songwriting – and in this case, it truly translates in tenfold on stage. When the band embarks in one of their hits, like “Main Offender”, “Walk Idiot Walk”, or “Tick Tick Boom”, it’s the nostalgia that sucks you in, but the tracks themselves which make you remember why you liked this band in the first place. Even more impressive is their newer batch of tunes, including “Patrolling Days” and single “Go Right Ahead”, which not only nestle well into the band’s oeuvre but also stand alone as instant classics. “When the Hives come back, we express it,” Almqvist told his captivated crowd. And once the applause had reached levels he saw worthy of the band’s prime performance level, the boys let it rip. Tuxedo jackets flew off, all the members strutted about and every instrument was thrown in the air at least a handful of times. A show of this level of musicianship is a safe indicator that the guys, who have had the same line-up since their 1993 formation, are not going away any time soon. Sure, they helped start a music revival 10 years ago. But while all the other faces of that time are now a distant memory - when’s the last time you had a spin on that Vines album? - Sweden has something really special in the Hives. And, thank god, they’re here to stay.

“In those days, people were coming off of the very complex Elizabethan dances in the court of Elizabeth I. They wanted something more relaxed, so they started adopting something that they identified as ‘dances of the country folk’.” At that time, the aristocrats were concerned with fancy footwork, and altered some of the moves from the country folks to make them more sophisticated. Back in the original days of the dance, it was performed to the music of Mozart, Chopin, and Handel. It wasn’t until the discovery of North America a century or two later that fiddle jigs became part of the dance. “People were thrown together who would’ve never normally socially mixed, you have British people who were thrown together with the Scots and the Irish. So they took these long line dances and paired them with the Scottish jigs and reels,” says Harman. Now, live muic plays are big role in the gaiety of the dance. “We always dance to live music, we believe in fostering that culture,” says Beavington. “It’s not that easy, you could certainly just play CDs. It’s the kind of culture where participation is important.” It is hard not to be happy in a hall filled with people who are all grinning ear to ear while dancing. If you think you can do it, challenge yourself and show up to the next contra dance. Seeing so many people so happy to be dancing is a reminder of why we should smile more often. The Vancouver Country Dance holds the dances at the St. James Hall in Kitsilano. The schedule can be found on their website at Vcn.bc.ca/vcountry.

(HATE TO SAY) THEY TOLD YOU SO

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Contra dancing is a near definition of “vintage”. And like most vintage finds, it’s adorably cute. An interactive dance that places emphasis on partner work and can be compared to line dancing, it dates as far back as early as the 1600s but the Vancouver Country Dance society holds Contra dances every month, providing a new way to spend another old Saturday night. The dance’s happy-go-lucky and upbeat nature makes it less intimidating to try than other traditional styles of dance such as ballroom dancing - and unlike ballroom dancing, there’s someone telling you what to do at almost all times. Callers are people who teach the participants the formation of the dance and call them through the steps. Ideally, the caller only calls the steps for three rotations, and then can step back and let the dancers enjoy the moves. Most of the contra dances use the same dozen dance formations, making the dances easy to learn and enabling the dancers to put their own spin on the moves, once they become comfortable with the basics. The VCD brings callers in from areas outside Vancouver to keep the dances new and fresh, and bands are brought in from all over, from Bellingham and Seattle to Victoria. “It’s participatory dance; there is no sense of performing, there is no sense of learning a lesson before you start,” says Nelson Beavington, an active member of the VCD. The society has been hosting dances for over two

years. On average, 80 to 100 dancers come out to their events, and while the age of the crowd usually runs from the 40 to 70-year-old range, they are starting to see younger people show an interest in the dance. “We do get families with children, and we’ve lately picked up a large contingent of younger people in their 20s, primarily university students,” Beavington continues. “It’s really for all ages.” He explains that in the eastern U.S., where contra dancing is more popular, they see a larger variety in their age range with more people coming to dances. Some dances in Seattle see around 1,000 people. One dancer, who goes by Fish, is in his mid-20s and recently relocated to Vancouver from North Carolina. He grew up contra dancing, and says that people in the States contra dance to techno music. He explains it as a “spectacle” with black lights and glow sticks, and says the younger generations are starting to appreciate this style of dance and make it young again. The history of contra dancing is rich and long, as it was formed in the 17th century and brought over to North America as it developed. “People always wonder about the name ‘contra’,” says June Harman, who has been involved with dance since 1987. “Contra sort of means a line facing a line: a long line of people facing across to another long line of people.” According to Harman, contra dancing was country-folk style that was adopted by the aristocrats. “It goes back to English country dance, which is something that started in the late Elizabethan times in the 1600s,” explains Harman.

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arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

STOP WHINING, START WINING Changes in B.C. liquor laws allow patrons to bring their own wine to restaurants Rebecca MacMurchy × Writer Wine enthusiasts and restaurant-goers received a nod of approval from the provincial government this past July when liquor laws were changed in British Columbia to allow patrons to “Bring Your Own Wine” to local restaurants and have it opened and served alongside their meal. B.C. is the seventh province in Canada to allow diners to BYOW, joining Alberta, Ontario and others in what is being coined as the modernization of liquor laws. While this could seem like a great way for the consumer to save some money, that is not necessarily the case. Each establishment that chooses to participate in BYOW is entitled to charge a corkage or corking fee; a cost to the customer to have their bottle be opened and served in the same manner a bottle purchased in-house would be served, including appropriate glassware. This can range from anywhere from free to $60, with the average in the greater Vancouver area falling between $20 and $35. While some establishments do offer cheap corking fees - some even offering it for free on certain days of the week - to lure in the terminally broke student, the general assumption around BYOW considers the target demographic to be the economically privileged; those whose main concern isn’t the money they are spending, but the quality and variety of wine available to them in house. Wine connoisseurs generally have a knowledge reaching far beyond that of their server and the wine list in front of them and can feel limited by their choices. They would prefer to bring a bottle from a personal wine cellar; not only to ensure satisfaction but to enhance wine pairing with their meal. Marie Dixon, standing manager at MarinaSide Grill, a restaurant in the Lynnwood Marina, doesn’t view this change to have either a positive or negative effect on the industry at large. “The law

change doesn’t really make a difference to us here. know we need to give them reason to come,” It’s not going to hurt or help us; we aren’t worried McKee explains. Vera’s would like to “market their brand” as a about anything negative coming from it. We have relaxed bar-style restaurant that is eager to benefit no problem participating.” MarinaSide Grill charges a $15 dollar corking the customer in any way possible. McKee says, fee, basing this fee on the respective bills they need “I know it’s not an easy time, a lot of people are to pay in order to stay in business. “Liquor liability out there competing for your hard earned money. insurance is huge. We need to make sure we are That’s why we’re doing things like the $2 fee.” By offering a low-cost alternative, McKee covered, because we’re still responsible if someone hopes to present Vera’s as an affordis over-served,” she adds. “It comes able choice when compared to a down to gainful employment; restaurant offering corkage we need to make sure we fees that may very well can pay our staff at the be similar to the cost end of the day.” of the actual bottle Dixon offered of wine. “We the analogy of want to befriend patrons bringing the customer. their own dessert We want them to a special occato feel like they sion. MarinaSide are benefiting by Grill charges a $2 choosing Vera’s,” fee per plate if pahe emphasizes. trons are to bring a The average indessert for after their house mark-up on meal and she sees the wine hovers around 50 BYOW fee to be similar. per cent, so for those on a “If people think they’re gobudget BYOW can aid in lessening to save money, they’re not, × REbecca Joy ing the overall cost of the meal, while still [but] it’s not about that.” On the flipside, we have the penny-conscious offering the experience of dining with wine. “The $2 isn’t going to make that much of a individual who can save a few dollars by purchasing a bottle of their choice and having it uncorked difference,” says McKee, “but if you paid $15 for for a low fee, which some restaurants do offer. This the bottle and you have to pay the same to have can drastically reduce the cost of a night out when it opened – no one’s going to do that. Hell - I funds aren’t easily dispensable. Participating res- wouldn’t do that.” For the most part BYOW has been a slow growtaurants with notably low fees include Fray on Fraser ($5), Thai House ($12) and Vera’s Burger ing trend. Both Vera’s and MarinaSide Grill have only witnessed a few customers taking advanShack ($2), to name a few. Steve McKee, manager at Vera’s Burgers, is en- tage of the implementation, but in spite of low thusiastic about the new law and sees the change participants, BYOW is for the most part a welas a huge instrument for positive growth. Vera’s fee come institution to provincial law. Cheers & bot(corporally set) stands at $2 and they hope the low toms up! fee will encourage patrons to stop by. “We want to see people in the door and we

BYO Wine Restaurants With Corkage Fees Under $15 Famoso Pizzeria, 1380 Commercial Drive Fee: $15 Fray on Fraser, 3980 Fraser Street Fee: $5 Martini's Pizza, 151 West Broadway Fee: $12 Max's Burgers, 521 West Broadway Fee: $10 (free on Tuesdays) Maurya Indian Cuisine, 1643 West Broadway Fee: $10 (free on Wednesdays) Memphis Blues BBQ, Various locations Fee: $15 Pair Bistro, 3763 West 10th Ave Fee: $15 Pink E Thai, 1152 Alberni St. Fee: $12 Salade de Fruits, 1551 West 7th Ave Fee: $14 Thai House, Various locations Fee: $12 The Wallflower, 2420 Main St. Fee: $10 (max 2 bottles), free on tuesday (Max 1 bottle) Urban Thai, 1119 Hamilton St. Fee: $12 Verave Pizzeria, 189 Keefer Fee: $10 (free Wednesdays) Vera's Burgers, Various locations Fee: $2

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White Spot, Various locations Fee: $10

BRETON Brungs it London bad boys tackle electric owl with synths JJ Brewis × Editor-in-chief The concept of a “multimedia collective” may reek of pretension, but London, U.K. quintet Breton bring an impressive video-art element to the typical indie-rock performance. The group’s catalogue of up-tempo rock anthems was accompanied by a large projection screen, which included the drummer’s glowing white t-shirt. The series of short films corresponded to the short two to three minute-long songs, which featured a massive amount of intense synth loops

and hard-edged guitars. With electro-rock themes similar to Tom Vek and Metronomy, the group have a great springboard of influences to work from. Visual elements aside, Breton have a smart formula of heavy sounds mixed with soft soothing vocals that hits the nail on the head every time. Lead vocalist Roman Rappak gave a gripping performance despite the fact that only a few dozen fans came out to the Thursday night show. Covered in sweat by the end of the band’s hour-long set, Rappak clearly lives and breathes the band’s tunes, which range from apologetic to angry. On single “Edward the Confessor”, Rappak shouts with rage on the lyrics “I’m so sorry / Please for-

give me / For trying to be all things to all men”. It’s abstract, but judging by the accompanying video of a young girl lost in an alleyway, that’s probably part of the intended effect. Despite the fact that most of the dance floor was bare due to the crowd not exactly filling up the space, the band encouraged the crowd to come in close, and by the end of the performance, the entire audience were on their feet enveloping the stage from all angles. “This is the first time we’ve ever been to Canada,” Rappak said. “And we’re so glad all of you are here. This is really exciting for all of us.” To be fair, as one of the few people in the crowd,

I felt honoured and excited to be there myself. This could easily turn into one of those bragging rights shows to add to my music fanboy resume, right up there with seeing Sufjan Stevens at a church. What’s most impressive is that the band seemed unfazed by attendance or lack thereof, giving those who showed up one of the most dynamic and intense live shows in recent local history.

× letter from the staff ×

On Commuting the bus mid-fist-fight to dodge their adversary. Or even start fist-fights on the back of the bus, leaving what can definitely be confirmed as blood all over the floor.

Natalie Corbo ×Features Editor For three days in a row, while biking to work, I have seen a different kind of grisly roadkill. It started small enough: a flattened rat which, although squished to an unrecognizably disgusting degree, mostly failed to move me. The next day, approximately two blocks away from my first encounter, I approached what I assumed to be a mangled skunk. My suspicion is still unconfirmed, but I do know that it was black, white and furry, and its pink guts were splayed across the road. In nearly the very same spot the next day was an unmoving racoon that looked as though it had been cruelly tipped over while attempting a yoga pose. I admit, the image of its still-cute motionless body definitely stayed with me for my entire 45-minute bike ride. The following day, I took the bus to school, only to witness an entirely different but no less-colourful spectacle. It's been a while since I took public transit during rush hour, and I had forgotten about the smell of other commuters, the desperation in people's eyes as they scan the back of the B-Line for empty seats, and the charming way people sometimes jump on the back of

But those are the bad times. At the best of times, a daily bike ride is a rather glorious exercise in that grown-up word for “being a loner” (solitude), that I genuinely believe is the best possible way a person can start their day. Do I feel superior to everyone who's stuck in traffic on a beautiful morning? Of course I do. How couldn't I? The bus, conversely, can feel surprisingly communal, like a little city within the city. Most Vancouver bus routes have a particular character: the 8 Fraser, 3 Main, and 20 Victoria are volatile time bombs. Ride one long enough and you'll be drunkenly serenaded, yelled at, witness a marital dispute, or be offered a swig of Grower's. The 99 B-Line is a wonderfully diverse assortment of commuters, and sometimes tourists. Mornings are for expert commuters who thoughtfully strategize about how to capture the last seat. And despite how annoyed I might be by the proximity of that weird guy's leg to my own, the linear route and extended time between stops adds to the vague

atmosphere that we're all sort of in this together. The buses that go to Capilano from where I live – the 130 and the 28 – have always felt studious and friendly to me. At such a small campus, these buses or the 239 are some of the most reliable spaces on campus to run into people. Most of the friends and good acquaintances I've made at Cap can be directly or indirectly attributed to riding the bus. For the times that people budge to the front of the bus line or treat their backpack as if it's another commuter, with equal personal space rights, I've also had people give up their seat when I'm carrying a heavy bag, and offer to hold my coffee while I untangle my perpetually knotted headphones. What I mean is that I don't envy people with cars. I won't go so far as to say that I pity them, I just don't think that owning a car adds much to one's commute besides some time – savings and the opportunity to sing loudly to a cassette version of Sinead O'Connor's excellent 1990 sophomore release. Or something like that. But this isn't an indictment of automobiles. It's a strange realization that when people tell me how sorry they feel for my long commute, be it by bike or by bus, I am mostly just frustrated by their lack of understanding. My life is not interesting

because of my commute, but riding my bike makes me feel amazing, and riding the bus, for better or for worse, often gives me an interesting story and a chance for some downtime that I don’t feel guilty about.

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OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Leah Scheitel

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WE LIVE IN A RAPE CULTURE Seriously, we do, guys Celina Kurz × Arts Editor "We should ban life jackets & other flotation devices. They only encourage risky behavior. The only 100% effective way to prevent drowning is total abstinence from going in the water. And if you do, by chance, find yourself struggling with drowning, then no lifesaving or otherwise procedure or act should be allowed to be administered. You got yourself into this mess, you have to live with the consequences. You should see drowning as a gift. Also, if you were forcibly pushed into the water, don't worry. If it was a legitimate pushing, your body will find a way to shut out all the water and survive the drowning." source, breanieswordvomit.tumblr.com Earlier this month, Republican congressman Todd Akin found himself in a very uncomfortable position after making some now-infamous inflammatory comments defending his stance on anti-abortion laws. To be specific, in response to a question regarding abortion in the case of rape, he said, “It seems to me first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” In rebuttal, nearly the entire Internet exploded at him. By the evening of the same day, he had emailed a statement rebuking his comment, say-

ing, "In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it's and sexual assaults are not reported to the police. clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does After factoring in rapes that go unreported, three not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thou- per cent of rapists will ever serve time in jail. In an article in the New Yorker, Amy Davidsands of women who are raped and abused every year.” The Ryan-Romney campaign also was moved son writes, “The problem here is not just whether to speak against Akin, releasing the statement that Akin thinks conception during rape is possible, “a Romney-Ryan administration would not oppose but what he thinks rape is. And how, in areas other than abortion, is he guided by his sense of abortion in instances of rape.” The term “legitimate rape” is a loaded one. If ‘legitimate rape?’ He is willing to suppose that the rape can be “legitimate,” it implies it can also be “il- crime-contraception might not ‘work or somelegitimate” - and by bringing in the possibility of il- thing,’ but if a woman who says she was raped is legitimacy, it basically casts doubt upon the claims pregnant, is he less likely to believe her?” Questioning of someone who the legitimacy of has been raped rape undermines and is trying to rape victims and find justice and survivors - why recover; someone would a rape surwho has been vivor report their traumatized and assault to a state is suffering. that isn’t going to Many surtake their claims vivors of rape seriously? If our already feel as society is ever gothough their asing to change - if sault will not be we really want taken seriously × lydia Fu to protect the by the state, and as a result, the issue of under-reported and under- people who are hurt the most by sexual assault convicted rape and sexual assault is already a seri- - the first step is to take their assertions sincerely. ous one. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest The purpose of the state is to protect the vulnerNational Network (RAINN) 54 per cent of rapes able, and by creating an environment wherein the

vulnerable are uncomfortable asking for help, it completely defeats the purpose. Another huge issue in the U.S. is the fact that, of course, rape does cause pregnancy - and in cases where those pregnancies result in children, there are at least 27 states which do not protect the mothers of rape-conceived children. That is to say, 27 states in which rapists can attempt to gain custody of the children born of their act of violence - and win. This is simply another way that the state is not prioritizing the safety of these women, or crediting them with the responsibility to make choices about their body and offspring. Victims of rape are three times more likely to suffer from depression, six times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, 26 times more likely to abuse drugs, and four times more likely to contemplate suicide, according to statistics compiled by RAINN. When these people need to use the health care system, or go on EI, tax dollars are paying for it. So even from a completely selfish point of view, it is important to our society that this issue be discussed and at least have solutions be attempted. When people in control of things hold beliefs such as Akin’s, it’s clear that the fight for fairness and equal rights needs to begin from the bottom up.

SNAKES ON the plains Put that thing back in your house JJ Brewis

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× Editor-in-Chief

Food trucks. Street markets. A Boa constrictor? The latest addition to Vancouver’s colourful Granville Street is a shocking surprise for pedestrians—and somehow completely allowed within the limits of the law. "She's completely harmless,” says Marlene, the owner of Buttercup, the 75-pound, 16-year-old albino Boa constrictor in question. “The worst part about her is that she's freakin’ heavy.” Marlene asked for her name to be changed for the article, but was more than happy to field all questions about the 10-foot snake, which she accompanies outside the strip’s nightclubs during the day. Passersby can give Marlene a small donation in exchange for holding Buttercup and posing for a photo with her. “There are lots of people who walk by and walk as far away as they can,” she says, “But nobody's been too freaked out yet.” Some people are afraid of all animals, including domestic pets like dogs, which you can barely go a city block without coming into contact with. A snake on the other hand, seems a bit more of a random creature to encounter on your way to pick up a new pair of pants. So where do we draw the line on what is acceptable for public display? A representative for Vancouver Animal Control stated that Bylaw No. 9150 is in place in Vancouver, a guide that prohibits animals

as diverse as hyenas and crocodiles, but only forbids ownership of some venomous snakes. Boa constrictors carry no venom, and as such are a non-prohibited creature. Thus, despite the fact that the average Boa constrictor can strangle a human being to a slow death quite easily, there is actually no legislature in place delegating where and when someone can accompany such a pet in public. If it’s a legal pet to own and buy a license for, it’s up to the owner to take it where they please. “A prohibited animal in public or within a household are prohibited either way,” said the represenative from Vancouver Animal Control. “There's nothing stated in the bylaw that the animal is not allowed to be in public, it's that owner's discretion.” Is it too much to ask for snake owners to keep these things in their homes? Clearly the case against exotic pets in public is a strong one: The B.C. SPCA officially lists their stance on the matter as “opposed to the keeping and breeding of exotic animals.” Their website goes so far as to condemn ownership, announcing that, “captive-bred or wild-caught exotic animals can both suffer at our hands through neglect and cruelty, and many pose a public safety threat from diseases and predatory instincts.” The terrifying thing about snakes is that own-

ers aren’t actually required to obtain a license for them, unless the creature reaches more than three metres in length. It is only illegal to release the snake into the wild, but owners are allowed to breed, transport, and possess at their will. So although we are legally safe from lions and tigers roaming the streets thanks to Bylaw 9150, we are potentially facing serious human safety violations × Scarlett given that many subspeAubrey cies of rodents and reptiles are allowed in public so long as their owners don’t appear to be mistreating them. “I remember seeing a woman in line for my till with a rat on her shoulder,” says Rita Ibther, a Capilano student who moonlights as a sales associate at a drug store where not only pharmaceuticals but food and beverages are sold. “A guy in the line ahead of her gave her five dollars just so he could take a photo of the rat.” The fact that this is legal is shocking and downright disgusting. At a certain point it also goes beyond issues of personal fear but delves into issues of hygiene and health concerns.

Animal Control also mentioned a recent event in which someone reported a domestic case of a wild African serval cat. After investigating the cat, which is now a legal pet thanks to Bylaw 9150, Animal Control approved the ownership in this situation, given a case-by-case ruling guide. With this tricky loophole, people are going to be given a go-ahead on any number of creatures. What next? Even if foxes are outlawed, so long as it appears to be cute enough and non-violent on a visit from inspectors it’ll be given the go ahead? Hey, it’s legal to catch a wild one in Arkansas and domesticate it. Animal Control says that in cases where prohibited animals are reported, the matters are investigated, and owners are ticketed up to $50 a day until the animal is out of their care. “If someone has a business license, they may be able to get around that. Without the proper business licensing, it's not something they’d be allowed to have in the city of Vancouver." A local conservation officer wasn’t aware of Buttercup’s stint downtown, and despite legalities, still sees a flaw in the bylaw. “With a boa constrictor, it's a human safety issue,” she said. “I mean, they could squeeze a human child to death.” But for now, Buttercup is safe to pose with fans on Granville. No matter how much any of us are terrified about her being there, we’ll simply have to hope for a change in this legal gap. Until then, we’ll just have to walk on the other side of the street.

DOO-WOPPING HOOLIGANS The problem with twee JJ Brewis × Editor-in-Chief

Your bedroom is decorated with felt pennants spelling out quotes from Juno. You don’t walk out of the house without a bow either around your neck or in your hair. You write love letters on vintage dead stock stationary while hanging out in your character suite apartment, paying more attention to the ornamental book shelves than the fact that the asbestos in the walls is eating at your lungs. If any of the above rings true for you, you’re likely a dead-ringer casualty of the underground twee movement. The younger, sweeter version of the hipster subculture is rampant, trading Pabst for sparkling water in antique vases, and apathy for a saccharine sugary sweetness that even your grandmother would see right through. What started as a musical movement in the mid ‘90s with the charming, upbeat sounds of Belle and Sebastian and Camera Obscura, has now diluted into a full blown explosion of candy hearts, fake pouty faces, and an overdose of vintage re-appropriation. Now one can’t walk into any sort of “trendy” or “progressive” part of town without seeing a bicycle rack filled with fixies donning wicker baskets. It’s almost shocking they haven’t found a way to raise Audrey Hepburn from the

dead to share loose leaf tea parties at elementary school playgrounds. The Globe and Mail’s Zosia Bielski notes the growing trend of twee making its way into the wedding circuit, saying, “In a race to make their celebration the most unique, many young urban couples have chosen to regress: treasure hunts, horseshoe tosses, bubbles, balloons, cotton candy machines, flash mob dance offs and yes, bicycles, have taken hold as wedding trends.” While it’s completely passé and annoying to dig into demographics as such, it’s even more irritating to be bombarded with the iconography and mindset of a trend that’s as distinct as this one. We’re all over “dissing hipsters” by now—most haters have either gotten with the program and started dressing better, or shut their mouths in hopes of not coming off as a jealous, uncool older sibling who just feels left out. But just as the world has become saturated with hip objects de factos such as organic coffee, skinny jeans, or Apartmento magazine, the rise of the twee is more revolting given its forced nature and likeliness of being even more artificial. It’s been slowly creeping on us for a while now. And just as I screamed with rage at the end of the too-cutesy-to-be-anything-worthwhile 500 Days of Summer in theatres a few years back, I also had no clue what we were all in for. The widespread production of cross-stitching kits, the uprise of music featuring ukulele solos, the inclusion of “craft” items sold at chain retailers such as Urban

Outfitters (which were actually mass produced, ironically). It’s almost like a case of bed bugs disguised in Oxfords and Mary Janes: the movement is everywhere and has an invasive nature. Not everything has to be quaint, picturesque, or sugar-coated with Easter season pastels. Not every moment needs to be captured as if two sparrows are symmetrically holding up the corners of your pouty duck lips, making you smile with false pretense. The problem doesn’t necessarily lie within the actual components of the culture itself. If I were to sit here and rattle off reasons I hate drinking out of Mason jars, the problem would more likely be me than the twee culture itself. But like many components of today's society, it’s not about the collective cultural imprint so much as the outlaying principles that make it an issue. The problematic fact is that the entire schtick seems to just be the latest in a string of “alternative” seeming culture petri dishes, but is actually quite the opposite. Just like other seemingly innocent movements like Occupy, vegetarianism, or goth, twee started on a basic premise and has now degenerated with the help of corporate overtaking, and the latching on by everyone who believes in it. It’s an easy image to take part in. Anyone with Instagram and the ability to make a pouty face can get in on the fun. It’s seen as cool to buy your frocks at the vintage store now, and suddenly the people who

have been sporting them for years are having to elbow out the vintage buyers at Value Village to beat them to the punch. It’s not even a “We were cool before you” cliché. It’s just that regular folk interested in twee-isms were smart enough to beat the corporations to the finish line. This leads to one interesting side. Just as major retailers have capitalized on replicated ‘50s bakeware, it’s the smaller retailers who will get the last laugh. The upside to twee is the rise of independent retailers and artisans who are going to bank in on the popularity of the movement, and stick around once the mall tweens have decided that Zooey Deschanel’s “a-dorkable” look is no longer cool. New York magazine’s Benjamin Wallace agrees with the tradeoff, rhetorically asking readers, “Is artisanal Brooklyn a step forward for food or a sign of the apocalypse? And does it matter when the stuff tastes so good?” Small business is thriving even in the wake of big store closures, bringing back the market to small business. So scoff as we might at indie flea markets and Etsy, the art of the movement does have a certain visual impression, and contrived or not, it does look better than a lot of the other fashion and aesthetic out there. Just like tattoo necklaces, Tamagotchi, and the Jonas Brothers, twee will be equally as passé in a matter of time. Then we can move our rotation onto the next trend: goth nostalgia.

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wanted dead or alive LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer Death amongst celebrities has always sparked public fascination. The concept of death can be difficult to understand, particularly when applied to a person who died at an age that is considered to young for death. However, as developing modern technology allows that fascination to be manifested tangibly through the use of holograms and spliced together vocal clips, the ethics involved in tampering with the legacy of a deceased artist must be questioned. Enter the 2012 Coachella music festival, where the height of “resurrection technology” was displayed as a hologram of deceased rapper Tupac Shakur joined Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre on stage. The hologram of Shakur, who was shot to death at age 25, performed two songs with his living colleagues before vanishing into thin air. The

spectacle sparked rumblings of a tour featuring the rapper and reportedly costs upwards of $100,000. There’s no denying that Tupac’s resurrection at Coachella was revolutionary and unique. That being said, being revolutionary and unique is not sufficient basis to co-opt the image and work of a deceased person for financial gain – whether the estate of said person grants permission or not. How does the right to someone’s legacy, presented in such a lifelike manner, transfer to someone else when that person is dead? The easy answer is that it doesn’t. The only person who should be able to agree to a Tupac performance is Tupac himself. Aaliyah, an R&B singer who died in a 2001 plane crash at the age of 21, is the latest celebrity to be brought back from the dead. Those behind Aaliyah’s posthumous public image are taking the celebrity resurrection phenomena one step further. From Facebook posts as Aaliyah to a new song with Drake that is comprised of previously recorded clips, it’s almost as if she’s alive again. The whole

thing is creepy, disrespectful and morbid. What’s the appeal in reading Facebook updates from a person who was dead three years before Facebook existed? Also, the act of attributing a new song to an artist that is long dead crosses the boundary of respect for the creative process. If you can’t personally ask Aaliyah whether she even wants to do a song with Drake, a song nobody can say for sure that she would ever want released, it is beyond disrespectful to include her in the track. In an interview with New York radio station the Power 105.1, Timbaland elaborated on his feelings towards the new Aaliyah track, and upcoming album – on which Drake will serve as executive producer. Missy Elliot and himself, two of Aaliyah’s most frequent collaborators, will not be included on the album. “I know they trying to drop some Aaliyah records, but if he do it, it should be with me and Missy. The proper way for him to do that would be for me, him and Missy to all be on the record.

LET SLEEPING DOGS PERFORM WITH SNOOP DOGG Giles Roy × Managing Editor While I agree that it’s disrespectful to force someone to associate with Drake, who is the worst famous person since Louie Anderson, the notion that these pop stars would prioritize their potential artistic legacy over their potential profits seems a little misguided. Pop stars have been appearing posthumously for as long as pop stars have been dying. Elvis had a string of hits from 1978 onward which, rest assured, were rush-edited to completion and melodramatically enhanced following his death. It probably doesn’t seem tacky by today’s standards because time’s soothing hand tends to have that effect. Tupac’s hologram at Coachella is simply the

most successful iteration of that idea yet. It’s not especially tasteful, but little in pop culture is. Pop differs from traditional art in that it’s driven primarily by what sells – in its 50 or so years of existence, it’s existed in its own economy, largely independent of artistic credibility. Rap differs from traditional pop in that it often explicitly champions this notion. In other words, if you don’t think Tupac would have been stoked on his posthumous presence, you are possibly unfamiliar with Tupac. Sure, he was an artist. But he was a shitty artist. Furthermore, he still maintains a legion of shitty fans. Fans that would gladly throw (even more) money into the holographic pit, and would be satisfied by the ordeal. He couldn’t continue to exist if millions

of people weren’t eating it up. Which is also probably why you won’t see, for example, a holographic Elliott Smith running around Coachella’s main stage anytime soon. Beyond the apparent revelation that the holograph-ees were perpetually money hungry while they lived, there’s the argument that they were only partially responsible for their own art to begin with. These artists’ classic albums are all so riddled with co-writing credits and the like that it’s hard to see them as anything but the face on the cover. Really, all that ever belonged to Aaliyah was her voice and her totally bangin’ body – may it rest in peace. No music lover is listening to Brit-

But to put it on his record would just not be right.” The fixation on recycling pop culture is damaging to art as a whole – it cheapens the value of originality and innovation while encouraging the homogenization of music, film and culture at large. While the act of releasing art posthumously has long been practiced, from Van Gogh to David Foster Wallace to, well, Tupac, we don’t have the right to tamper with the legacies of those who created that art by splicing together the unfinished pieces that they’ve left behind.

× Stefan Tosheff

ney Spears and thinking, Wow, Britney Spears is so talented. At least, they shouldn’t be. They should be thinking, Wow, the team of producers who wrote and recorded these Britney Spears™ songs really killed it on this one, and the only way I’m going to go see her live is if there are lasers.In this context, these holographic resurrections are much less insensitive abomination than mere technical feat. The trend of holographic performance may actually be on its way out, with Digital Domain (the wizards behind the Tupacogram) filing for bankruptcy on Sept. 11, but the whole ordeal will likely serve as a tidy little time capsule for where pop culture was in 2012. In the meantime, it’s a chance for Tupac’s estate to squeeze yet another buck out of him. It’s a sort of hilarious arms race in technological excess. Most prominently, it’s something for people to be entertained by while they’re on weed. That’s, like, Tupac summed up.

× Shannon Elliott

Question: How do you feel about deceased musicians releasing new music?

I don’t think that artists should be taking their music and using it as their own just to get their fame out there. No, I don’t think it’s a good idea. –Sier Webb

I think we should support other artists and new people because that is what music is about. It’s about evolving and changing, and being different. –Matt Tikken

I think they should just leave their legacy where it was when they died. –Linden Watt

Once they’re dead, they’re dead, and it should just stay at that. Enjoy them for what they were before. –Blake Mattson

I think that would be cool. I don’t see why not, they’re good artists. –Leah Garratt

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CAp Creeper Aaliyah and Tupac

SPORTS

SPORTS Editor ×

Sarshar Hosseinnia

× s p o r t s e d it o r . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

E-Sports Make E-Normous Impressions Change in attitude suggests video games can now be a lucrative sports career Eduard Tepes ×Writer When you hear someone say “gaming,” images of children glued to handheld gaming devices, or stereotypical nerds playing on their computers come to mind. Few would think that crowds, in their thousands, fill large auditoriums to watch the few elite gamers play a number of competitive games including StarCraft 2, Dota 2, Call of Duty, Halo and more recently the top choice, League of Legends. The Vancouver scene is no stranger to this phenomenon, with Team vVv widely known on the cybernet circuit as the top team citywide. The majority of the team is relatively young (many of them are in their final year of high school). Top corporations partner with them, including Major League Gaming and SteelSeries, among others. The local scene may be unknown to many but when you dig a little bit below the surface you find a fairly sizable community that Thadeus “RoshanNow” Tang, a player on Team vVv who on the North American level is ranked in the 300 players out of the 11 million active users, could only describe as “beautiful.” This was exemplified at Vancouver’s largest gaming event “LANcouver”, which was hosted at the Richmond Olympic Oval on the Canada Day weekend, an event that vVv was able to attend and go on to win. “Participation in the game is definitely there,” claimed Tang, referring to the local community. North American E-sports grows consistently

every day, with larger tournaments and bigger incentives for professional players. A short history lesson of competitive gaming, otherwise known as E-sports, will quickly tell us that it grew in the late ‘90s out of Korea with the original Blizzard game, StarCraft. Teen gamers were paid hundreds of thousands of dollars and had numerous endorsements. Besides this financial benefit, they were seen as sex symbols nationally, and had relatively short, but profitable, careers. StarCraft 2 remains as a top three pick among competition-level gamers. Jaejun “Xylitol” Ha, another member of vVv, grew up playing Japanese versions of games as an infant in a Korean gaming-infused culture and continued to play StarCraft even when he moved to Canada. “Korea’s gaming scene significantly changed after the release of StarCraft: Brood War,” says Ha. “Lots of Koreans were attracted to the game, and most importantly television broadcasters started to show high-level gamers’ matches on air. Those matches on TV influenced more Koreans to play StarCraft: Brood War and later on professional gaming.” He goes on to take a more global perspective and notes that, “as the competitive gaming scene evolved more games were introduced and the entire world began to take part. Australia, North America, Asia, and Europe now host large tournaments with lucrative prizes.” The games are played before masses of crazy fans and tickets are so hot they sell in mere seconds online. At Blizzcon in 2009, 20,000 tickets were auctioned off at $125 a piece, in around 20 seconds. This is not an isolated case either, with a modest Australian StarCraft tournament just last month

selling all 600 tickets in 11 minutes. In the U.S., relatively unproven teams like the ‘Curse’ gaming League of Legends team, notorious for not having won a major tournament without controversy, have been provided a gaming house in a Beverly Hills mansion. Tang explains that a big prize pool “is a huge encouragement for those professional teams,” and the North American Regionals on Sept. 3 were no exception, with the top three teams taking home $40 thousand, $35 thousand and $30 thousand each, respectively. This tournament was significant for more than just the prize pool. The top three teams from the North American Regionals will meet the top three teams from other regions around the world in the World Championship on Oct. 17, with a massive prize pool of $2 million. The stakes are high and the competition will be fierce, with the sole B.C. representative, “Crumbzz” participating, playing on team Dignitas. Popular streamer and professional player “Saint Vicious” has been quoted as saying “he makes as much as a doctor,” and team captain of the topranked team in North America, Team Solo Mid’s “Reginald” has stated that he could purchase a Lamborghini sports car with the money he has at the moment. The revenue from streaming alone is so high that many envy the top streamers on twitch.tv or the popular own3d.tv, however streaming requires in-game skill and on-camera entertainment as well. This is a combination that is not for everyone, and even Tang has stated that he would like to stream more but finds himself with fewer viewers than he would like. Furthermore, he says that if he had the opportunity to make a career

out of League of Legends, and play consistently as a professional he would jump at the chance, at the expense of an education. E-gaming is not all roses, because as the majority of games are played online, fewer people get to meet in person, unless they attend a LAN tournament. This means that anonymity is prevalent everywhere and it is relatively easy for cyber-bullying to occur. “Professionalism and sportsmanship is very important to allow the sport to grow,” says Tang. “People need good role models.” Unfortunately, many teams revert to trash-talking at these tournaments. The comparison to other professional sports is uncanny. Competitive gaming will soon be seen as more than a niche quasi-sport like competitive bowling. The evidence is in the rising numbers, exposure and popularity.

Thadeus Tang photo by vVv

NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES A look at recreational programming at CapU Stephanie Service × Writer

says Lenarduzzi. Lenarduzzi admits that Capilano University is currently not at the same level as most regarding campus life and recreational programming, which are vital to developing a sense of community. “I don’t know if it starts with athletics,” he says.

“But it’s definitely a piece [of the solution].” Recreational programming is an integral part of student life at most universities, and one each student deserves to experience.

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As the weather shifts to cooler temperatures, students in B.C. return to university with great ambitions and high hopes. For many, images of university life evoke thoughts of football games and varsity athletics but let’s face it, not all are elite athletes. Intramural and recreational programming allows students to enjoy sports, make new friends and maintain physical fitness. For students at Capilano University, sports programming is not at the level that most university students expect. For a school like Capilano, which is predominately a commuter school, developing a sense of community on campus becomes a priority, especially for those just beginning their post-secondary career. Ryan Lenarduzzi, Sport Development Officer at CapU, acknowledges the importance that CapU Recreation possesses in fostering relationships between students; however, many students are not making use of the facilities. A common reason seems to be lack of time. With the facilities needing to be used by both students studying kinesiology and athletics teams, minimal time is available for drop-in sports and activities, but “students now expect the services of a university and we are not there yet,” says Lenarduzzi. CapU Rec. focuses on providing drop-in sports during lunch hours (11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.) as well as paid programming, which includes yoga and dance. Lenarduzzi says that students are making

use of drop-in hours. However, many of these same students ask him about additional programming, in particular about the intramural sports that most universities offer. One of the disadvantages of the current programming is that it does not necessarily foster the same type of relationship as the team environment provided by intramurals. Sports programming and fitness facilities are vital to students’ health. Students experience a high level of stress and this programming offers an outlet that allows them to stay fit and healthy while having fun. It is now common knowledge that a link exists between physical activity and intellectual health, and the focus of CapU Rec. follows this, focusing on health and wellness programming like yoga and stress management programs. The key to better programming lies with an increase in both funding and space. Unlike most universities, recreational sports programming is not part of the tuition fees at Capilano. With many universities constructing state-of-the-art sports centres, Capilano is having a hard time competing. Universities have used student referendums in order to decide on issues like small increases in student fees, to cover funding. Perhaps the key to solving CapU Rec.’s problem lies with a similar solution, but students need to be interested in better programming in order for it to work. Since being granted the title of University in 2008, Capilano students have come to expect more from their school experience but the school “needs a genuine movement to create change,”

CHANGE-OF-COVERAGE DEADLINE: SEPT. 18

Connect With Your CSU Health & Dental Plan Your Benefits for 2012/2013 More than $10,000 in Health-Care Coverage prescription drugs, vaccinations, psychologist, physiotherapist, chiropractor, ambulance, and more...

Travel Coverage up to $5,000,000 & 120 Days per Trip travel health coverage for 120 days per trip up to $5,000,000, trip cancellation and interruption in the event of a medical emergency

Over $100 in Vision Coverage eye exam, eyeglasses, and contact lenses

Up to $750 in Dental Coverage cleanings, checkups, fillings, root canals, gum treatments, extractions, and more...

Networks Enhance Your Benefits and Save You Money Get even more coverage by visiting members of the Dental, Vision, Chiropractic, Physiotherapy, and Massage Therapy Networks.

Find a health practitioner at www.ihaveaplan.ca. Covered by Another Plan? Weigh the Costs and Benefits Being enrolled as a dependant in a parent or spouse’s employee benefit plan usually requires your family member to pay additional costs to have you covered. The CSU Plan may provide better value. You can also combine it with your other plan to maximize your overall coverage— up to 100%—and eliminate out-of-pocket costs.

Why a Health & Dental Plan?

Change-of-Coverage Dates Fall term students have until tomorrow, Sept. 18, 2012, to change their coverage (opt out or enrol their spouse/dependants) by following the on-screen instructions at www.ihaveaplan.ca.

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The Plan is a critical service of CSU designed to fill the gaps in provincial health care. Most students who are members of the Capilano Students’ Union and who are registered in at least 9 credits in the Fall Term are automatically covered by the CSU Health & Dental Plan. Part-time students who are CSU members are not automatically enrolled in the Plan, but they can enrol themselves during the Change-of Coverage Period. The cost of the Plan is part of your student fees.

Have a smart phone with a QR code reader? Scan the box to the left to be directed to your Plan’s website.

ihaveaplan.ca The Member Services Centre is there to assist you from 9 am to 5 pm on weekdays : Toll-free: 1 866 416-8701

the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

DISTANCE Connor Thorpe

seats that were two rows behind them. I’d have reacted to the idea with some kind of defiance if they weren’t such good seats. She continued her voyeurism with renewed intensity once we were settled in. “Second date, I’m guessing,” she said. “What makes you say that?” “They talk too much to be long-term.” I found that I had no response to this. I couldn’t tell if it was merely a characteristic Rachel-ism or a subtle dismissal of our relationship. The distinction between the two had begun to blur in recent months. The armrest between our seats served as an appropriate barrier, a concrete line that neither of us would cross. On one side was me, on the other was Rachel. I thought that the couple in front of us would be intertwined across their barrier before long. The walk inside the theatre hadn’t stalled their conversation. Rachel brooded silently as she listened. While I didn’t share her level of distaste for the couple, I felt a twinge of discomfort every time I heard the girl laugh. “Would you shut up? The lights are going down,” I said. The darkening room didn’t deter the couple. They leaned into each other and spoke in whispers. “You’re no fun when you aren’t drinking,” Rachel said. She had made me quit after a particularly heated argument last Thanksgiving, during

×Staff Writer

“Are you hearing this?” Rachel said. Her eyes were fixed on the couple that was ahead of us in line. The boy spoke without pause as the girl listened with earnest vigor. Their conversation had the sort of unrestrained enthusiasm that Rachel and I found tiresome, and had long since abandoned. “They’ve been talking about Albert Camus for 15 minutes. I feel like I’m in Philosophy 100.” “Not everyone is a snob, you know,” I said. The couple inched their way to the box office booth and the boy, with a gentle brush of his hand, stopped the girl from reaching into her purse. “They ought to be,” Rachel said. She took this as a cue to retrieve a folded twenty from her wallet. “And look at that. He’s paying for her. When was the last time you paid for anything?” It was a shame that we both liked going to the cinema so much, because if there’s any place you’re certain to encounter young, happy couples, it’s at the movies. “You always insist that I don’t.” “That’s not the point.” We each paid for our own tickets and skipped the concession, following the couple into the theatre. The lights were still up and Rachel picked

30% Do it your way.

that they weren’t bothering anyone? “I can’t believe these fucking people,” I said. I thought about putting my hand on Rachel’s, but decided against it. “They haven’t shut up this entire time.” Rachel didn’t even glance at them. She continued to stare up at the screen. From looking at her, I wouldn’t have been able to tell she was watching anything with any sort of involvement. “They just talk like that because they aren’t comfortable with each other, like we are. They need to be talking all the time to fill up that awkward, empty space,” she said. Her eyes met mine. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

comics comics comics write comics for the courier and get paid.

$$$

and make aaliyah happy.

It’s been a long time.

Enrol anytime, complete your course where and when you want and transfer credits back to your on-campus program.

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said they did it on the couch.

which I kicked down the bathroom door in her apartment. She had been complaining about my sobriety ever since. “That’s not what you said when I was,” I said. We watched the previews in silence and after a while the film started. Neither of us knew with any certainty what it was about, save that it was called Distance. I had convinced Rachel to accompany me with a vague reference to a glowing review in the Gazette. I didn’t read it, but I didn’t need to know what the film was about. I just wanted to see something new. The couple spoke throughout the film – short comments that developed into full-blown anecdotes, stretching longer and growing louder with each incidence. That was when they really started to get to me. I couldn’t fathom having the nerve to incessantly talk through a film, to draw attention away from what was on the screen without any concern for the countless people that lined the other rows, people who had paid good money to forget the things that plagued them in the world outside of the theatre. How could they just assume

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the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

THE Shot gun reviews

GORDON RAMSAY'S ASS Scott Moraes Gordon Ramsay is a great chef. But his many (and still counting!) efforts into television have really caused some damage to his reputation, and understandably so. In his new TV show Hotel Hell, Ramsay (also the executive producer) recycles the good old Kitchen Nightmares formula and visits struggling hotels, hurling out vituperations about the rooms, services and of course, the food. Strangely, on every episode he appears on camera ready to take a bath or a shower, and drops the towel or his underwear to reveal his white fat pixelated Scottish ass, and in a variety of odd angles too! Ramsay is undoubtedly a passionate and talented individual with admirable business acumen but if he continues down the road of TV tycoon/porn star wannabe/part-time chef, we all may just have to admit that, quite honestly, we miss Jamie Oliver. And I'm glad the blind girl won MasterChef. Blind girl versus seven-foot man (and no white ass in sight)? C'mon, that's great television!

DREAM INTERPRETATION Celina Kurz “To dream that a cat is biting you symbolizes the devouring female.” Last night I had a dream that a large - freakishly large - cat attacked me. It had a squished face and its fur was really strange. In my dream, it started out as a kitten. “To see a kitten in your dream represents a transitional phase toward independence. You are ready to explore new things that life has to offer.” Can anyone help me figure out what this means? Does this school offer psychology courses? Why do I keep having dreams about cats? Once I had a dream about a purse made out of cats. I also have recurring dreams about shaving my legs, is that normal? Except I don’t even shave my legs. I’m freaked out, guys. I was supposed to write this shotgun about Mark Hoppus who is my biggest celebrity crush of all time and it would have been so much fun but I couldn’t even because I was too weirded out about this whole cat dream thing. I couldn’t stop thinking about it! The devouring female! The devouring female! Ahhhhhhh.

KOALA BEARS Samantha Thompson

HONEY BOO BOO Brodi-Jo Scalise

When it comes to animals, they have to be cute or else I hate them. One of my newest favourite animals is the koala bear. I just love their tiny little faces covered with fur and the way they look at you from the cover of the eucalyptus trees (or how I imagine they would look at me, if I lived in the land of The Rescuers: Down Under). Koalas also have a name that lends well to puns, which everyone loves! Have you heard the one about two koalas sitting in a tree and one koala says to the other koala "hey, did you know you're not a bear?" and the other koala says "why not? I have all the koalafications!" Koalas are much better than other Australia-famous animals like the platypus and the kangaroo because they know how to live. They just sit around all day munching on leaves, thinking about how little they give a fuck about the rest of the world. It's a pretty sweet life. Fun fact! Their little even-cuter-than-they-are babies are called joeys. Like kangaroo babies, but with better koalities! There you go, you've now gained a whole repertoire of koala puns. Don't koala me to thank me, heh heh heh.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is the latest example of fine American television. Matching in the ranks with other quality shows such as Breaking Bad and Mad Men, TV network TLC has created a show comparable to the now inferior Toddlers and Tiaras, returning to their most famous pageant queen: seven-year-old Honey Boo Boo (descriptions are futile: just look her up). Based out of a small rural (which is an overstatement) Georgia town, this reality series follows the escapades of the Thompson family. A few events within the first couple of episodes include the family's purchase of a pet pig named Glitzy, contractions from Boo Boo's pregnant 17-year-old sister and the Redneck Games (which mother June dubs “The South Olympics"), that has a spectator-favourite of muddiving. I can’t wait for the second, third, fourth, fifth and likely sixth seasons of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. We’d all be spoiled if a feature film were soon to follow!

THE GUY FROM GREEN MILE, DEAD Whoever prepares those Oscar obituary reels is stoked CALLING PEOPLE “NECKBEARD” Just the right amount of offensive CALLING THINGS “FERGALICIOUS” Actually pretty fergalicious in itself

JONI MITCHELL A gifted songwriter and a Canadian treasure SCONES Underrated, as a whole BATMAN Should be on this chart every week

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AUTUMN Fuck this fucking season

CAPILANO’S FILM PROGRAM Buncha neckbeards FREE ENERGY DRINKS Like there’s any other kind DINOSAURS ON NETFLIX Finally