CommUNITY Magazine (vol 2 iss 3) The Bisexual & Pansexual Issue by Pride Center of the Capital Region

Director’s Note

C u rran Streett, Execu tive Directo r

Each year since this program’s inception 5 years ago, one of the best things about my job is receiving the recipient’s updates and recollections of how transformative this program has been in their lives. Since receiving the scholarship, the most recent group has excelled in their classes, citing their academics as challenging, inspiring and exciting. They have joined groups ranging from theater to crew to a gay fraternity. Here are a few comments from them:

Thanks to our incredible donors, we have had the pleasure of distributing scholarships to high school seniors pursuing higher education.

“Thanks to the scholarship, things look really bright. I look forward to my future!” - Nick

“ I promise to continue to work my hardest in honor of the Pride Center, while always remembering the invaluable life lessons I have learned from being apart of their community.” – Alicia We are proud to offer this program that inspires and empowers the young leaders in our community. The deadline for the 2014 application is May 2 and can be found on our website at www.capitalpridecenter.org. Donations to this important program can be made online or by calling 4626138. It would not be possible without the generosity of our community, so thank you!

Please help us spread the word!

If you know an LGBTQ or ally identified senior in high school who would be a good candidate for this scholarship, please contact James Shultis, Youth Program Coordinator by email at jshultis@capitalpridecenter.org, or call 462-6138. For more information, or to access a scholarship application, please visit our website at www.capitalpridecenter.org.

From The Editor’s Desk

Mic hael Weidr ic h

was cast instead. I think both of these actors gave fantastic performances in their respective roles and deserved the Oscar Awards they won. I also think they have had a role in kicking open the door for out LGBT actors and actresses to play LGBT roles.

There has been a lot of buzz lately about new TV shows and movies that feature LGBT characters. Orange is the New Black has been praised for its depiction of a trans* woman in prison as portrayed by trans* actress, Laverne Cox. Conversely, the movie Dallas Buyers Club has received criticism for its casting of straight cis male actor Jared Leto as a trans* woman. I equated this to the casting of Tom Hanks in Philadelphia (1993), a straight man playing a gay man dying of AIDS. Of course there were several gay male actors who could have played that role but Hanks

Another show that has drawn some criticism from the community is HBO’s Looking. The consensus is that people seem to think it’s boring and unrealistic. I watched the whole season in one afternoon and I actually loved it. It was simple, honest, and real. I remember 15 years ago when Queer as Folk premiered on Showtime. I hated it because I thought it glamorized the club scene, focused too much on hooking up and exaggerated the dysfunction in gay men’s relationships. Over the 5 seasons it ran, it became less sensational and more “real” and I actually loved it in the end. Getting back to Looking, I find the show very refreshing for being so “normal”. It’s looking for love. It’s looking to be in a relationship. It’s looking to start a new chapter in your life. And while the three main characters are gay men,

it could really be about anyone. It is in our nature to look for imagery that reflects us. From television and movies, to magazines and the internet, to the imagery that is used to represent the businesses and organizations we support and are a part of. Seeing two men or two women together in an ad for a product, we assume that the company is lesbian and gay friendly. Likewise if you see a man or woman in a LGBT publication or website, you assume they are gay or lesbian. But what about representing bisexuals or trans* folks? How do we move our assumptions to presume they are or could be GBT or LBT? In putting this issue together, I have learned so much more about the B in LGBT. That is it not just about being bisexual, or pansexual, or fluid, or queer. It’s about finding visibility in our community, seeing representation in the media, and standing up with pride!

Letters to the editor To the Editor: Thank you for reintroducing this forum to CommUNITY. While having long been available, the letters to the editor section has been sorely neglected by the readership. Input from a publication’s readers is a profoundly important means of stimulating conversation on topics worthy of debate, acknowledgement, or praise. For whatever reason, some supporters of our CommUNITY may be unable to contribute with their physical presence, yet each person has an opinion valuable to our cause. Without being expressed, these opinions lose their opportunity to provide a greater good for us all. I would like to propose a friendly challenge to readers of CommUNITY to search within themselves, and to bring to these pages a topic about which they feel strongly. The staff and volunteers of the Pride Center provide

a wonderful service to us; they work countless hours to help us live better lives through their service, and the information they provide. But they’re not mind readers. We can assist with our own voices. It is with great gratitude that each issue of CommUNITY is received. The new format and thoughtful compilation make it an informative and interesting read. The regular columns help us focus our daily lives, and CommUNITY is a single-source for many announcements regarding entertainment venues, philopanthric opportunities, and the promotion of supportive merchants and services that we need every day. Our movement began with the oration of someone’s simple opinion that we shouldn’t be discriminated against. Just look where that single idea has taken us. Please share your thoughts. Sincerely, James Bell by

Already?! This is the typical response I receive whenever I tell a friend or colleague that I’m headed to a PRIDE Week Planning meeting. And my answer is, yes – and we’ve been planning for months already! Planning Capital Pride 2014 began last summer when PRIDE 2013 volunteers met to discuss what worked and what didn’t on last year’s festivities. Pride Center staff and volunteers continue to get ready throughout the fall and winter months, most notably as the PRIDE Planning Committee begins meeting in January. Though the PRIDE Planning Committee has seen many changes over the years, its core purpose remains the same: to ensure that PRIDE Week is about what the Capital Region’s LGBT community wants to see. Volunteers bring unique perspectives to the PRIDE planning process that make each year’s events a little different. They make sure that PRIDE is something the LGBT

Dear James, Thank you for your letter. We appreciate your praise on the new format of CommUNITY. This magazine has always been a forum for discussion and we welcome the community’s feedback on any of the content we put forth. Since becoming the Editor of this publication, I have tried to make this the best it can be with a multitude of voices speaking to our diverse population. We cherish our regular writers while introducing new and fresh talent. But at the end of the day, this is the community’s magazine and we’re here to listen to you. Sincerely, Michael Weidrich, Editor Letters to the Editor may be sent to Michael Weidrich at mweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org Letters must be 100 words or less and must include name, phone, email.

al ready?

Rob Loren Hill

community in the Capital region can truly be proud of. We have already had several PRIDE Planning Committee meetings and are almost ready to reveal the calendar of evnts for this year’s Pride Guide! And we’re really excited for May when we will be hosting our big Volunteer Party on Tuesday, May 1 at 6:00 PM where we’ll al lget together with some pizza and have the opportunity to sign up to be a part of the amazing volunteer team at this year’s Parade and PRIDE Festival. PRIDE is my favorite time of year and for more than forty years has been a celebration of how far we have come as a community. After months of planning, I can’t wait to see what this year’s PRIDE will bring. Rob Hill has been a volunteer for the Pride Center since 2010 and is in his second year as Co-Chair of the Pride Planning Committee

Registration for Capital Pride 2014 is open through May 16th! Be A Part of It! Be in the Parade, Be a vendor at the PRIDE Festival, Celebrate and Support our Community! Download a registration packet on our website: www.capitalpridecenter.org/capital-pride

***SAVE THE DATE *** ***PRIDE CENTER GALA 2014*** FRIDAY OCTOBER 24, 2014

PROMOTES COMMUNAL BONDING • EMPOWERS PEOPLE •

Awards will be selected at the discretion of the Pride Center Board of Directors. The Pride Center reserves the right to limit the number of awards and may not give awards in every category. Final selections will be made by the Pride Center Board of Directors.

Do you sing in the shower or the car? Do you have an untapped desire to entertain? Would you like to harmonize with other male voices? Good news! The Albany Gay Men’s Chorus is looking for singers. Please check us out!

BOOSTS IMMUNE SYSTEM •

To nominate an individual, business or organization, download the Nomination Form from www.capitalpridecenter.org and return it to the Pride Center Board of Directors, 332 Hudson, Albany, New York 12210 by fax to (518) 462-2101 or e-mail; cstreett@capitalpridecenter.org

It’s Good for Your Health!

Rehearsals are on Tuesdays from 6:45-8:45pm, at First Lutheran Church of Albany, 181 Western Ave. For more information: e-mail to albanygmc@yahoo.com, or visit http://www.albanygmc.org/ .

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IMPROVES BREATHING • MOTIVATES •

The Pride Center is seeking nominations for the 2014 Annual Awards to be given out at the Awards Gala on October 24, 2014. Do you know someone in the Capital Region who does outstanding work for the LGBT community? If so, please review the award categories and submit your nomination today! The nomination deadline is May 2, 2014.

IMPROVES SENSE OF RHYTHM • LOWERS BLOOD PRESSURE • REDUCES STRESS • FORGES COMFORTING MEMORIES •

Nominations now being accepted! 2014 Annual Awards

PROMOTES WELL-BEING •

IMPROVES MOOD •

These Presbyterian Churches Welcome You Where you can find a place ~ come as you are!

Albany First Presbyterian 362 State Street (at Willett) www.firstpresalbany.org Sunday Worship 8:30 am & 10:45 am

Hudson Falls First Presbyterian Church 5 River Street www.hudsonfallspresbychurch.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Scotia Trinity Presbyterian Church 185 Swaggertown Rd. www.scotiatrinity.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Albany West End Presbyterian 585 Central Avenue westendpc@nycap.rr.com Sunday Worship 11:00 am

Lansingburgh (Troy) Cornerstone Community Church 570 3rd Avenue www.cornerstoneccl.org Sunday Worship 10:30 am

Spencertown St. Peter’s Presbyterian Church 5219 County Route 7 spencertown.wix.com /stpeterspresbyterianchurch Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Albany Westminster Presbyterian 262 State Street / 85 Chestnut Street www.WPCalbany.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Putnam Station Putnam United Presbyterian Church 365 County Route 2, PO Box 8 518-547-8378 Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Stillwater Stillwater United Church 747 Hudson Avenue www.stillwaterunitedchurch.org Sunday Worship 9:15 & 10:30 am

Colonie Roessleville Presbyterian Church Elmhurst and Central Avenue 518-459-2816 Sunday Worship 9:30 am

Rensselaerville The Presbyterian Church of Rensselaerville Main Street at Methodist Hill Road 518-797-9303 (June 24 - Sept 2) Sunday Worship 11:00 am (Summer only)

Troy First United 1915 Fifth Avenue (downtown) www.unitedprestroy.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Glens Falls First Presbyterian Church 400 Glen Street www.fpcgf.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Saratoga Springs Presbyterian-New England Congregational 24 Circular Street www.pnecc.org Sunday Worship 10:45 am

West Charlton West Charlton United Presbyterian 1331 Sacandaga Road www.westcharltonUPC.org Sunday Worship 10:30 am

Guilderland Hamilton Union Presbyterian Church 2291 Western Avenue www.HamiltonUnionPresbyterianChurch.org Sunday Worship 8:30 am & 10:00 am

Schenectady Union Presbyterian Church 1068 Park Avenue www.unionpres.org Sunday Worship 10:30 am

More information at www.presrainbow.org

Being Bisexual in a Gay World – Living Silently in the Gay Culture by Spero Zoulas

Interesting how bisexuals can be viewed, even within a culture that presents as open and accepting. It’s the nature of things even within a community such as the LGBTQ. No one group is immune to it; the preconceived notions and biases we all come to learn. When asked to write this article, one of my first thoughts was about how to approach the topic. Should I discuss my philosophy on sexuality? But what would that do other than just present my perspective. Then I thought about it more. Why was this one of my first thoughts? I think it was because as bisexuals we often feel we have to explain ourselves, even within the gay community. I guess we fall into this gray, fuzzy area that others may not understand or accept.

The remark just came out of nowhere actually. Who are they kidding? Those were the words used along with some other insensitive remarks Being bisexual, or as others may state it claiming to be bisexual - is fraught with challenges. In our culture, we tend to think in binary ways. Some people believe you are either heterosexual or homosexual. The idea that someone can be attracted to both sexes just doesn’t sit well. It’s like the proverbial if… then scenario. Well, as with most anything involving human nature, the rules of attraction (or companionship) do not fit so nicely into some logical construct. I will admit my path to the gay culture was pretty late in life. It wasn’t until I approached my thirties that my circle of friends and acquaintances expanded into this gay world.

While I found it not much different than with any other group of people, the notion of being either gay or lesbian was and still seems so inherent within that group dynamic. I’m not saying that within the straight world people don’t feel the same way. But within a group that often encourages acceptance as one of its most valued ideals, the idea that you are either gay or straight can be off-putting. Case in point: I have been with my selfidentified gay partner for ten years now. Oftentimes, when we are with friends within the gay community the word gay gets thrown around often. Yes, we are a same-sex couple. But with that often comes the presumption that we are both indeed gay individuals. I find myself not correcting them. Partly due to the fact that I have been put on the spot before when I’ve stated I am bisexual. And partly because I just don’t view sexuality as a one way street. But that’s just my personal bent on that. So, I’ve learned to just roll with it and let it slid. Besides, I know there is no real harm in what they assume. I understand it. One of the more significant denouncements to my sexuality came just last year. It was while I was participating at the annual Capital Pride event in Albany. While assembling to march, I was put on the spot when a respected professional in the community unwittingly made a disparaging remark about bisexuals. She didn’t know that’s how I identified. The remark just came out of nowhere actually. Who are they kidding? Those were the words used along with some other insensitive remarks. Now I normally don’t indicate my sexuality to others – partly because I tend to be very private, but it’s also my learned response to a degree given the linear perceptions people may have out

there - but I found myself taking exception to her remarks. Given the context of the day’s event, it was particularly disturbing. I made it clear without being confrontational that she needed to be mindful to whom she was speaking - a person who identifies as bisexual.

I guess we fall into this gray, fuzzy area that others may not understand or accept. I left it at that but my partner wanted to follow up with her since he knew her more personally. When I saw her again she apologized to me saying she felt awful. I thanked her for following up with me. I can understand it. Who of us hasn’t offended a person of a different race, gender or religious background at one point? It happens. The question then becomes who of us try to learn from such indiscretions and then become better for it? Now don’t get me wrong – if my sexuality is challenged, I will stand up for myself. But when amid the gay community, it can be hard to outwardly declare your bisexuality… it’s often simpler to be silent...to let it slide. Maybe it won’t be as hard for me now. My name is Spero Zoulas and I am a resident of Schenectady, NY. I am soon to be married to Chad Putman. I am a local community volunteer spearheading the redevelopment of a local city park and Vice President of the Woodlawn Neighborhood Association. I am also an aspiring author having completed a few short stories, novellas and the first draft of a major novel. I currently am a Senior Academic Advisor for the School of Liberal Arts at Excelsior College in Albany, NY.

(Un)Seen I’m pansexual, and I’m frustrated. Let me explain. “I don’t mean this to be disrespectful, but is that a thing? I mean, does the medical and psychological professional community recognize that as real?” That’s what my brother asked me when I told him I’m pansexual. It’s not surprising, really, because in my experience most people don’t know what pansexuality is, and my brother certainly didn’t as a conservative evangelical. (Yeah, ask me how the rest of that conversation went). “Wow, that’s so cutting-edge, but I’m not surprised; you always were advanced.” I heard that from a friend when I outed myself to her. I didn’t know how to respond. Cutting-edge? Advanced? That implies others’ orientations are old-fashioned, and I’m pretty sure sexuality doesn’t become obsolete. “That’s so utopian,” an acquaintance remarked after she googled pansexuality. Really? I don’t think pansexuality is the ideal sexual orientation. Because there’s not one. However an individual identifies is just fine. I definitely don’t want anyone to think I’m inferior, but I’m assuredly not superior either. Then there’s the standard heteronormative remarks we all probably hear. After a recent snowstorm a colleague sympathized with my complaints about spending an hour shoveling out my car: “Yeah, you don’t have a husband to do it for you.” First of all, I’m quite capable of clearing snow by myself; I just don’t have to enjoy it. Second, I’m open to partnering with anyone regardless of gender, sex, or sexual orientation, so it is quite presumptive to mourn my lack of a husband. I’m confident a chic or a trans* person can handle a shovel just as well as a cisgender, straight male!

Accepting my pansexuality wasn’t difficult. What I find challenging is wondering whether or not others will accept me. These types of responses and off-hand

remarks remind me I have no place in heterosexual culture and demonstrate how little the general public, including those of a progressive persuasion, understand pansexuality. For many, they have never even heard the term.

Jen Castellani

I am constantly explaining myself. Another friend observed that folks with uncommon medical conditions often find themselves explaining their diseases. But pansexuality--like all orientations on the spectrum--isn’t an illness. I’m not searching for a cure. I’m looking for a place to belong. I don’t fit in the straight world, but is there a place at the table for me in the LGBTQ community? After all, there is no “P” in the acronym. A lot of the time, that’s ok because I’ll embrace the Q. Yet, when I see LGBT, I wonder where someone like me belongs. When events are advertised as a “lesbian group” or a “bisexual gathering,” I question if I would be welcomed. I suspect others who identify from a space within the middle of spectrum do too. Even as I type this, I fear people’s responses. Who am I to critique the community when it has only been within the past few years that I’ve stepped out of the straight shadows and identified myself as a member? But it has also been within the past few years that I have found my voice, so it is important for me to use it. I’ll explain that too. I’ve recently liberated myself from christian fundamentalism. For most of my life, I sincerely believed the dogma that forced me to disown myself in order to embrace god. Not only did I have to repress my sexuality as a woman and especially as a queer woman, but I had to silence all other aspects of who I am. Until a few years ago. Painful events and a PhD program opened my eyes to reality. I realized I could not reconcile the misogyny of evangelicalism with feminism. I could not blend fundamentalism’s absolutism with the T(t)ruth of postmodernism. So I walked away from religion. Some

might say I lost my faith, but I believe I found myself. And with that came the legitimacy of my sexuality. Accepting my pansexuality wasn’t difficult. What I find challenging is wondering whether or not others will accept me. As a cisgender woman, I’ve experienced marginalization. What other types of oppression might I encounter as I embrace the social identity of an atheist, pansexual woman?

“I don’t mean this to be disrespectful, but is that a thing? I mean, does the medical and psychological professional community recognize that as real?” To heterosexual society, I appear as a lipstick wearing, high-heel walking, only-male-loving woman. I probably look the same to the LGBTQ community. How does my “P” fit in? Where is the nuance I represent? In both spheres, I’m invisible. 1 I am not speaking specifically about the Pride Center of the Capital Region but more broadly about my experiences in everyday life.

I intentionally don’t capitalize christian because while I recognize that more progressive, liberal forms of christianity are more welcoming of the LBGTQ community, the bigoted sect I came from does not and to me does not deserve the respect of capitalization.

Jen Castellani is an associate director of annual giving at a local college, and she is a PhD candidate in the University of Dayton’s Educational Leadership/Higher Administration program. Jen is currently writing her dissertation on the experiences of female leaders in conservative christian universities. She is also the owner of the world’s cutest mini-daschund.

Beyond the Binary: Rewriting our Ide who identify as bi, pansexual, fluid, queer, asexual, trans*, and so on. “O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, that has such people in’t!” I trust Shakespeare will overlook my appropriating one of his lines to skew sexuality and gender. (He did employ crossdressing about as often as possible, after all.) Our community has always been more diverse than the familiar terminology known to the mainstream public. We are not contained within easy-access acronyms and definitions. To break out of these boxes, we have to fight the nature of our categorizing brains, which have relied on logical shortcuts for survival for hundreds of thousands of years. Unfortunately, a peaceful coexistence now depends on us resisting those shortcuts and parsing the subtleties of those nebulous gray areas -- not just of sexuality and gender, but politics, economics, race, etc., and the ways they overlap. We’ve already compromised in the realm of mainstream political organizing and visibility by settling for the neat and clean LGBT acronym, but let’s not allow a compromise for identity politics infiltrate our personal relationships. We’re more than “gay and lesbian.” We’re more than “LGBT.” Hell, we can expand our acronym to LGBTQQIAGNCPFTS … and beyond, if we’re so inclined. So, how do we start honoring the complex diversity of our community? one that defies simple mutual understanding? Well, I can start by asking myself those exact questions. How should I do this? How can I do it respectfully? How would I prefer someone relate to my own complexities? Only after I’ve wrestled with these questions internally can I do any external, social inquiry. And when I start engaging socially with others in our more- than- just- LGBT community, I have to challenge myself to embrace that other person’s complexity and not fall back on those handy “LGBT” presumptions. There are as many definitions and experiences of “gay” as there are gay people, so the same is true for folks

My definition of “gay” might be your definition of “bi.” Your definition of “pansexual” might be my definition of “bi.” My use of the term “queer” might be empowering for me, but hurtful for you. It depends on where we’re coming from, what are formative experiences were with those respective terms, and what their meanings and consequences are and were. Simply identifying as gay might feel inauthentic for me or disrespectful if one of my lovers is of the opposite sex. Maybe “bi” will make me feel better about myself and my relationships.

(this time as a femme, straight woman), but things soon changed again and I started dating and sleeping with women. Then I found myself rejecting the confines of my new female gender as well. I presented more butch. I presented as no gender. I presented as different genders. Transgressing and playing with gender -- this thing that had caused me so much strife in the past -made me feel powerful and happy.

Complicating this is that defining sexuality depends upon defining gender. So, what happens when people start rejecting, redefining, and playing with mainstream concepts of gender? If I define bisexuality as attraction to both men and women, where do I fit the masses of folks who don’t identify as men or women? I might have to broaden my definition. Or I might choose a different term, like “pansexual.” I might opt out of identifying terminology altogether and say my sexuality is “person-specific.” Using myself as an example of the possible complexities we’re dealing with: I’ve tried on many identities in the course of my life. I was assigned male at birth and convinced myself to identity as a straight male for years. When I was about 13 or 14, a ton of confusing desires led me to identify as a gay man. That lasted till my early 20s, when I figured out that a lot of those confusing desires were related to what I wanted my gender to be, and not what I wanted my partners’ gender to be. I stopped dating and having sex with everyone nd focused on transitioning to female. Once I was living as a woman, there was a time I identified as straight again

I had mastered a former tormentor. I gained an appreciation for my fellow trans* folks who did and do the same thing in their varied and glorious ways. Soon, it was that mastery of gender that I started to find most attractive in people. Currently, I tend to date and sleep with other trans* people or cis-identified people who canplay with gender and sexual presumptions in that joyful, powerful way. That is my sex. Now, how can I distill that into a single word? I can’t. And that’s precisely why

ur Identity Dictionary by Drew Cordes (for me, at least) the term “queer” exists. The paradox term. The label for those who defy labels. The word for “I need more than one word.” A signal to say I get off on screwing with whatever the common conception of sex or gender is at any given time or situation. Am I male or female? No. And yes. Both. Neither. I’m genderqueer. Am I gay, straight, bi, pan, fluid? No. And yes. All the above. None of the above. I’m queer. And for many queers, myself included, it goes way beyond just gender and sex. The personal is olitical, after all. The world’s structures

do not accept queer identity as valid. These binary notion s of male and female, gay and straight, do not just have consequences in the realm of sex. One day this week, challenge yourself to notice all the instances in the course of your everyday life that you’re restricted to just male or female, either in how you identify yourself, identify others, and in how you prefer your partners identify. Bathrooms? Male or female. No other option. Passport?Driver’s license? Birth certificate? Male or female. No other option. Language? He or she; Mr. or Ms. Doctors? Only trained for males and females. Jails

and prisons? Male or female. (And good luck getting treated safely and respectfully there.) Homeless shelters? Male or female. Don’t fit? Well, you can take your chances or go back to the street. If the person you love begins to identify as a different gender or sexual orientation, what does that mean for how you define your sexuality? What does that mean for how friends and family will view you and your relationship? How your boss views you and your relationship? How the government views you and your relationship? “Queer” isn’t just an identity; it’s an action, a verb. It can mean I want my very existence to queer the way society operates. It’s a demand for inclusion, for broader tolerance. The very history of the word exemplifies this radical shift -- a slur reappropriated and turned into a source of power. Queers were not the first to do this with language, nor will we be the last. Nor do I think we’ll stop there. There will always be folks who feel a legitimate need to push further, and, full disclosure, I am one of those people. (I’m sure you’re shocked.) One of the many terms I personally choose to identify with lately is “radical faggot.”

associations? Beyond the acronym? Beyond the gay-or-straight, male-or-female binaries? How do we see each other and understand each other authentically? Let’s start with: Hi. What pronouns do you prefer? How do you identify? What does that mean for you? (A smile probably would help, too.)

This brave new world hasn’t only now arrived; it’s always been here. We just have to choose to see it, honor it, and celebrate it as such. Drew Cordes is a trans, genderqueer, radical faggot resident of Albany, and they are a member of the grassroots group Transgender Advocates of the Capital Region.

Many of us have painful memories associated with that word, myself included. Hearing others freely using terms that trigger painful emotions within us, can be tough to understand and accept. I myself struggle hearing other trans* folks use “tranny.” I have to remind myself why I choose a similar slur as an identifier -- to reclaim that painful past as a source of power. Because I want to embrace and celebrate all the things I was once ostracized for. Because I want to challenge society’s notions of what is and isn’t proper or valid. That outlandish caricature people paint of kinky gender-benders to “other” us and justify discrimination and mistreatment? Well, I am a kinky gender-bender. I fit a lot of those stereotypes. And I’m also still a living, breathing, feeling person. I want to reclaim as many of those “othering” qualities as I can, so that when people meet me and get to know me, they realize that what matters is not those alien external attributes, but how I treat people. And maybe that’s true of everyone else our society “others,” too. This is not a simple feat, however. So, how do we move beyond the divisive pain of those past

Men who have Sex with Men – Not Gay?? by

Yes – I said it. There are men who have sex with men who are not gay. Not bisexual, queer-questioning, homophobic, down-low either. They identify as straight or they do not identify with any label whatsoever. This is not coming from a closeted gay man. Since my coming out in my 20’s, I have publically been out and proud – identifying myself with the label gay as both a source of pride and to help move our LGBT rights forward. If you asked me 20 years ago if a man who had sex with another man was straight, I would have laughed and said “yeah right”. But my views and respect for this population have changed the more I have gotten to know them and some of the reasons why labels just don’t fit. But then isn’t MSM a label? The term MSM was coined in the 80’s as a term to separate behavior from identity to help HIV prevention efforts. Based on “it’s what you do, not who you are”, the term became a useful way for those in healthcare field to broaden the scope of who was at a high risk for HIV. It’s generally never used by the person it is referring to and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say they are “an MSM”. At the Albany Damien Center, only 25% of members identify openly as LGBT. I would safely estimate adding another 25% of our male membership who identify as straight, yet have had or are still having, sex with men. To ensure we are working to prevent new HIV/ STI/Hep C infections and provide the support and unfettered access to care

Perry Junjulas

each person deserves, it was necessary for us to drop all labels. It was easier than I thought, as the Albany Damien Center thrives in an atmosphere that is comfortable, non-judgmental, and supportive to each person who uses our services. But who are these MSM? The first group is our younger generation who are just very comfortable with their sexuality. They may prefer to have sex with women, but are so comfortable with who they are that having sex with a man once in a while doesn’t threaten their manhood. It also increases the chances of getting laid when you open up the field of possibilities – and MSM behavior is about release and feeling good. (I think this is also why many gay men frequent so called straight bars near closing time… but I digress). We’ve seen this in many of our traditional “gay” clubs, that often have so many straight men attending or “straight” clubs where being gay is a nonissue. I love this generation – they have a self-confidence that some of us have taken years to achieve. Our next group of MSM are tied to poverty and drugs. This group also prefers to sleep with women, but will sleep with a man if there are paid or can get their next fix. It may also determine if they have a warm place to sleep for the night. Heroin use is on the rise in our region and I have countless stories of men who will do anything to get the drug. For this group, being MSM is more a job or work if you will. In my experience with sex workers who use

the Damien Center, I’d say 99.5% of them do not “enjoy” what they do – it is work. They would much rather be paid for doing just about anything else, but selling themselves is the one thing that one does not need an education, references, and most customers don’t care if they have criminal backgrounds. Thus the employment opportunities abound, and such many “straight” men have sex with men when they need things. Our last group are men of color, where being labeled “gay” is not accepted in their communities. We often hear the term “down-low” to describe this group, yet the term has taken more of a derogatory view in my opinion, thus I no longer use the term as they are not to be criticized for wanting to be a part of their community. These are simply men who would become ostracized in their communities by their using the label of “gay”. I could write 4 more articles on the issues here – let’s leave it with there is much work to be done in our black and Latino communities on acceptance of our gay, bisexual, and transgender brothers. For them, they are facing issues our Caucasian counterparts faced in 1970 and I strongly feel we need to do more to increase awareness, move cultural change, and reduce stigma in this community. So not all men who have sex with men are gay - a hard pill for those of us who are LGBT activists to swallow, but nonetheless is a very real factor in our local community which is helping us to ensure men are receiving the healthcare and support they deserve. Perry Junjulas is the Executive Director of the Albany Damien Center. Since his AIDS diagnosis in 1995, Perry has worked to help people living with HIV/AIDS and those who care for them. The Albany Damien Center, though hit by a fire in August 2013, continues to provide all of its services for people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS at the First Lutheran Church in a comfortable, supportive, and peer-led environment. Perry lives in Albany with his husband, Reverend Tony Green, where he enjoys spending his free time with their two grandchildren.

Being Questioning by

In the LGBTQA community, there is a predominating narrative of certainty in one’s sexuality or gender, in order to combat myths that sexuality or gender identity are a choice. Today, most positive news about being part of the LGBTQA community tells a story of knowing from a young age - maybe 5 or 6 - that you weren’t the gender you were assigned, weren’t straight, so on and so forth. Though this is a completely valid and important experience, this isn’t the same one that many queer people have. The Q in LGBTQA is construed as either meaning Queer or Questioning, and both are labels that many people - especially adolescents - struggle with, myself included. In 8th grade, I started to have inklings that neither my gender nor sexuality aligned with the norm, and turned to the internet for answers. Anyone even distantly involved in the community knows that there are a lot of terms, and to those new to it all this can be pretty daunting. Some people are frightened and mistrustful of all of this terminology they aren’t familiar with, while others - much like 13 year old me - suck it up like a vacuum cleaner. 13 year old me, much like present-day me, loved math for its concrete answers, and I expected gender and sexuality to be a similar world: I would find a label nearly immediately that fit, feel completely comfortable, and stay confident in that label throughout the rest of my life. This didn’t prove to be true in any sense of the word for me, though.

Many people, even within the LGBTQ community, have this idea of teenagers all being ‘posers’ who aren’t really a part of the community, all being ‘bicurious fakes doing it for attention’.

Eliza Henneberry

The next few years were defined by confusion and fear, mainly. Though slogans from mainly unaware but wellmeaning allies frequently told me to just “love whoever you want, be whatever gender you want, and be happy with it,” this never felt like an acceptable answer. The beginning of 9th grade introduced me to the identities of pansexual and genderfluid, and these were the first that I felt comfortable with. As I neared the end of my first year of high school, though, I found myself once again uncomfortable in my identity. ‘Am I really pansexual? Do I like guys at all?’ rang through my head as I endured months of dysphoria over a body I was increasingly uncomfortable with. Some days I couldn’t look in a mirror because I was so horrified with how feminine my shape was, while other days I felt immensely proud of my body, and dwelled in it with pride. Many people, even within the LGBTQ community, have this idea of teenagers all being ‘posers’ who aren’t really a part of the community, all being ‘bicurious fakes doing it for attention’. To questioning people like myself, this was a harmful sentiment: that not being entirely certain in who I was meant that I was lying and hurting the real pansexuals and real genderfluid people. This isn’t true though, all identities are complex matters, and some people don’t fit under one label or another. As I bounced back and forth between gay and bisexual through my sophomore year, tormenting myself nightly over my uncertainty, I grew tired. Some nights I couldn’t sleep, because the only thought in my head was ‘what am I really?’ People told me to just accept not knowing, but sometimes this isn’t so easy. Slowly, I grew to accept that not all knowledge can come to you immediately, and that gender and sexuality are absolutely nothing like math.

No answer has to be definitive and permanent; labels exist to make us comfortable with ourselves, so we shouldn’t feel trapped by them. Today, I am a junior and I am coming to grips with the fact that I still don’t really know myself.

No answer has to be definitive and permanent; labels exist to make us comfortable with ourselves, so we shouldn’t feel trapped by them. Sometimes you have to go through labels a few times before you find one that really sticks - genderfluid, genderqueer, non-binary, agender. The first time someone asked me if I identified as agender, I felt something click inside of me and thought ‘that’s it! That’s me!’ It took 3 years though, and for all I know, I might wind up changing my mind in a few months. Today, when people ask me if I’m gay, the only answer I can consistently give is ‘I really don’t know.’ Sometimes, you don’t find a label that fits. Maybe not for 3 years, maybe not for the rest of your life. For all of the stress that it caused me, my struggles with understanding myself have brought me to the very simple conclusion that whatever you feel in a moment is completely valid. No one can make you stop searching for the right identity, but you shouldn’t be forced to fall under one just to make other people more comfortable with you. In the end, you are the only one that knows you as well as you do, even if you feel like that’s not at all. Eliza is currently a junior at the Doane Stuart School and a member of the [Pride Center of the Capital Region’s] Center Youth Action Team.

Adapting to Change: Commitments and Coping by

Spring is around the corner, bringing with it many welcome changes. The weather will be better, the snow will melt, daylight will increase, and summer is on the horizon. Our moods are lifted and we sense a feeling of renewal. The changes of spring can inspire us to think about changes in our lives.

At this point the new year is well underway and the excitement of the holidays is long behind us. My colleague, Josh Radliff, discussed the importance of New Year’s resolutions in his feature last month [Community vol. 2 iss. 1 Feb. 2014] . By this time, New Year’s resolutions, for some, have been made and broken. For many, resolutions were committed to, and serious change is underway, with all the stresses and satisfactions that go with it. Now is a good time to reassess new year’s resolutions, just a few months old. Additionally, Spring is a good time to review commitments. Spring cleaning leads many to reassess stockpiled possessions; students assess summer plans and fall registrations; many look for new apartments; and businesspeople examine their first quarter budgets and look ahead. We all re-evaluate what we can accomplish for the rest of the year. Would you like to re-evaluate your commitments and habits, career or personal? Do you have anything—bad habits, ineffective patterns of thought or behavior—you want to jettison along with debris? Have you made promises now broken, only to wonder what happened? LAW OFFICE OF ANNE REYNOLDS COPPS Casey Copps DiPaola, Associate Kate Siobhan Howard, Associate

126 State Street, 6th Flr. Albany, New York 12207 518.436.4170

arcopps@nycap.rr.com kdipaola@nycap.rr.com katesiobhanhoward@nycap.rr.com

Wendy Connelly

Change, chosen or thrust upon us, is difficult. Many people eagerly commit to goals, such as losing weight, finding a new job, home, or having a child. However joyful such changes may be, they can be intensely stressful. All of us at one time or another have changes thrust upon us, such as losing a job, or apartment, ending a relationship, or facing bereavement. These all bring profound stress, as well as loss and mourning. These can, of course, happen year round. Spring, with its promise of renewal, is an exceptionally good time to put some thought into how we anticipate and cope with change.

Do you have anything— bad habits, ineffective patterns of thought or behavior— you want to jettison along with debris? When change is chosen, such as a resolution, or finding a new job or home, it is important to be conscious of your goal. Are you trying to find a bigger or more affordable home? Or a home from which commuting is easier? Do other members of your household agree? Are all needs considered? What are the down sides? Being conscious about your criteria, and the pros and cons of your change, will help manage the stress and chaos involved in moving. You will be less at odds with your partner or others if you plan and brainstorm about the changes you want and why, along with the pros and cons. The same principle Adoption Business Formation Education Law Employment Law Estate Planning Family Law Matrimonial Law Medicaid Planning Name Changes Real Estate

adheres if you are looking to make a job change, return to school, or making any other significant life change. When a major change is thrust upon you, such as the loss of a job or an apartment, stress can skyrocket. You may panic or despair, wondering “Why now?” It can be terrifying to be without a job or apartment. It is important to take a deep breath, take stock of the situation, and assess your supports. Who, in your life, can be there for you? What can they do to help you? Some are great emotional supports, others have good advice, others are in a better position to help in a concrete way. Realistically identifying what you can expect from others can cut down on stress and misunderstanding. Sometimes, major changes can put strain on relationships. You and your partner(s) will need to examine how change affects both of you. Forethought can help ease painful misunderstandings later. When under stress, you need someone to talk to. Your closest supports will be the first ones you turn to. However, you may feel incredible stress and have difficulty managing these feelings. You may also find that you and your partner or others are at odds over changes. In any of these cases, you may wish to speak to a counselor for some brief counseling for assistance in managing the stress and help in guiding you through the bumpy roads of change. All changes bring with them opportunities to improve. The examples above will, hopefully, help you embrace change and make the most positive experience of it. Wendy Connelly, MS, LMHC, is a clinician at Choices Counseling and Consulting where she has worked since 2011. She is a graduate of the University at Albany Mental Health Counseling program and in addition to working on a sliding scale accepts CDPHP Insurance. She can be reach at 518-438-2222 or wendy@choicesconsulting.com.

www.arcopps.net

MY PRIDE!

I have 3 girls and my older two love attending Pride every year since they can remember. My older girls are 13 & 11 and they had asked me the other day if we were going to the parade in the park where every one dresses up and there are a whole bunch of rainbows? I told them that its called PRIDE and what it stands for they cared but not about the history of it just yet. My children stated that one of the things that they like best about PRIDE would be that it doesn't matter that every one is different and likes different things, they think that it's cool that people can come together and just be themselves and express themselves how ever they want and it seems that no one cares. They love the rainbows and seeing people of all races just be people for a day(words of my oldest daughter). My oldest daughter recently asked me how come it can't be like this all the time, why is it only for a day? My response is plenty of people including your mother are doing their best to make it happen! -Melanie K.

send your PRIDE memories to PRIDE@capitalpridecenter.org

Tran s V i e w #12 1

Mo o nhawk Riv er St one

Sexual Orientation & Trans... Beyond Bisexuality Hawk celebrates the challenges presented to a centuries old paradigm about how we relate and enjoy sexuality

At the time bisexuality is, perhaps, poised to take its full measure of space under the LGBT umbrella it is undergoing its own tremendous evolution and change. While in its most reductionist form bisexuality is an attraction by one person toward both men and women--the both/and option steeped in binary stereotyping. This may suit those of my generation (the over 65 crowd), but among those a generation or two younger, bisexuality is a morphing, evolving shifting feast of attraction and love that often partners with polyamory to offer us such dazzling new possibilities for love, partnership and commitment that we are left breathless with joy. Or...for some, gasping in judgment.

When we introduce variety, flexibility and openness into sexuality, we blossom. Transgender folks, gender variant folks, genderqueer folks and others on the gender spectrum make this revolution ever more intriguing and interesting. In sexuality we must consider not only the anatomy of our partner, but their gender which may or may not be anywhere near congruent with each other. Transgender folks are constantly breaking new ground in the conversation about attraction, love and sex. They are challenging our old paradigms that state men are men and women are women, and that’s that. It’s more than that, a lot more. For transgender folks, the interplay of anatomy, gender presentation, gender identity, sexuality and attraction offer a huge canvas on which to paint new possibilities for love and affection and partnership. This exploration of beyond bisexuality does not come without its risks of discrimination, and even violence, from other sexual orientations who see the sex/gender binary as the only correct option.

That said, neuroscience is rapidly offering research results about the subtle, just out of consciousness, clues we give each other biologically when hooking up and dating. While much of this research is steeped in heterosexuality, the same factors are in the mix when folks of differing anatomies and genders are looking to relate. For me, this is so fascinating and exciting and holds a vision for human sexual evolution that is almost unimagined. For those who are comfortable with a more traditional binary landscape this outburst of variety can possibly instill fear and, perhaps, rejection or discrimination, or invite us to an adventure of personal discovery we didn’t know we had within ourselves. Bisexuality is moving into the mainstream, no longer just the dumping ground of internalized homophobia’s complaint that bisexual folks are confused and have not yet had the courage to come out as gay or lesbian. We are, I hope, permanently beyond that. Twenty-five years ago, I sat in a paper presentation at the International AIDS Conference in Montreal where folks from the Kinsey Institute presented results of a survey that indicated as much at 80% of the population was bisexual. That’s a BIG B for sure. Interesting how that study is not common knowledge. Transgender folks fill all the possibilities for sexual orientation, and invite us to ask intriguing questions about nature and nurture with regard to sexual orientation. There is anecdotal “evidence” that a larger percentage of transgender people are bisexual. While this is not scientific and highly suspect, in some practical way, given that transgender people have huge varieties of choices in the ways in which they present both their anatomy and their gender certainly one could think about the preponderance of bisexuality in that context. Some transgender folks are clearly heterosexual and

© 2014 some clearly gay or lesbian and that orientation remains solidly and comfortably entrenched throughout their transition. Others, freeing themselves from the strictures of their own fear and internalized transphobia, find themselves coming out into a sexuality they never considered prior to transition and that can be lesbian, gay or bisexual. There is a cohort of transgender folks who find attraction to other transgender folks, and some would like to call it a particular orientation. That makes sense to me. Given all the external cues for attraction, love and sexuality, it would seem the unique mixture of those more subtle characteristics would be its own universe in a way, and that hypothetically neuroscience research might support that idea. The gift of this bisexual sea change is that it challenges a centuries old paradigm about how we humans meet, relate and enjoy sexuality. There is finally emerging talk that moves sexuality away from its prison of sex is for heterosexual reproduction within marriage narrative toward a paradigm of healthy sexuality is good for your overall health and meant to be a normal and regular part of one’s activities in life. When we introduce variety, and flexibility and openness into sexuality, we blossom into a new paradigm of sexuality, with bisexuality in its ever evolving forms right there in the center hand and hand with transgender folks. How delightful! Until next time...T

Bisexuality is a morphing, evolving shifting feast of attraction that often offer[s] us such dazzling new possibilities for love, partnership and commitment that we are left breathless with joy. Rev. Moonhawk River Stone of Riverstone Consulting is an Interfaith Minister, transgender activist, writer, educator, consultant, keynote speaker and psychotherapist in private practice for over 25 years with experience and extensive expertise in all aspects of transgender policy and health.

Equality & Justice Day All Hands on Deck for the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act an invitation from

Sheilah R. Sable, Director of Organizing, Empire State Pride Agenda

It is that time again. LGBT New Yorkers will be converging on our home town and joining the Pride Agenda for the largest statewide LGBT advocacy day at the Empire State Plaza on Tuesday, April 29th. This year, following in the footsteps of both Laverne Cox and Janet Mock, we are thrilled to announce that Kye Allums, the first transgender NCAA Division 1 college athlete, will be taking the stage for our rally at the Capitol on Equality & Justice Day. While playing for George Washington University, Kye broke ground as the first transgender NCAA Division 1 college athlete. He’ll be joined on our rally stage by other champions addressing priorities like gender discrimination, protecting youth from dangerous practices that attempt to change who they are, building strong families and providing for the health and well-being of our community. You don’t want to miss the most important event of the year for our Statewide advocacy efforts! Equality & Justice Day is your opportunity to play a key role in meetings legislators face to face, build crucial skills and conference with hundreds of New York’s most dedicated change-makers. Kye Allums, the first transgender NCAA Division 1 college athlete, will be taking the stage for our rally! Here in the Capital District, you can play a special role, you can volunteer to help in the morning and late in the day, but attend the rest of the day at no cost. The implementation of Equality & Justice Day together is a massive project and it wouldn’t happen without the help of committed volunteers. If you want to join in that capacity, please email me at ssable@prideagenda.org. First 25 volunteers receive a t-shirt with our new logo. Please register and spread the word: www.prideagenda.org/ejday

I hope to see you there. 

Honesty. Respect. Professionalism. Courtesy.

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PRIDE CENTER YOUTH PRESENTS

GET REAL: Queer relationships Friday, April 18, 2014 5:30-7p Pride Center of the Capital Region 332 Hudson Ave, Albany

LGBTQA Youth ages 13-18 New topic every month!

GET REAL answers. GET REAL knowledge. GET REAL power.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: 518-462-6138 LCUDLITZ@CAPITALPRIDECENTER.ORG WWW.CAPTALPRIDECENTER.ORG

I DO NOT apologize for who I am. Our faith is over 2000 years old...

Our thinking is not. Worship Every Sunday 10:00 a.m. “Comma Club for Kids” 9:00 a.m. Children’s Program during Worship

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No matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here. God is Still Speaking

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Seeking to be a Multicutural, Multiracial, Accessible to All, Open and Affirming, Peace and Justice Congregation that welcomes all regardless or frace, gender or sexual orientation.

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A SK THE LAW YER

Geri P omer ant z

Efforts to Ban Reparative Therapy Geri reviews recent developments in Albany to put an end to Sexual Orientation Change Efforts A local ordinance to prohibit Sexual Orientation Change Efforts, to change a minor’s sexual orientation, was recently introduced in the City of Albany by Common Council Member Krasher. It is reported that, if passed, Albany will be the first municipality to condemn this harmful practice. The proposed ordinance was referred to the Law Committee on March 3, 2014. The basic goal of Sexual Orientation Change Efforts therapy (SOCE), also referred to as conversion therapy or reparative therapy, is to change an individual’s sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. It is promoted by the religious right. Counselors who engage in SOCE view homosexuality as abnormal and unnatural, and therefore in need of a cure. The “treatment” is based on the unsupported and faulty principles that sexual orientation is a mutable trait, and that being gay is a mental health disorder. Individuals, and particularly minors, may be forced into conversion therapy by family members, or coerced into it by the fear of rejection by family. SOCE has been condemned by most major medical and mental health organizations in the US for years, including the American Psychiatric Association, American Medical Association, National Association of Social Workers, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and American Psychological Association. Not only does SOCE lack medical justification, scientific research shows that this social stigmatization and inherently coercive practice can pose critical health risks to gay people, particularly to minors. These risks include depression, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, shame, social withdrawal, suicidality, substance abuse, stress, decreased self-esteem, self-hatred, and other severe emotional damage.

In 2012, the Pan American Health Organization (the regional office of the World Health Organization) called on governments, amongst other entities, to expose SOCE practices and promote respect for diversity. The Stop Harming Our Kids Resolution (H.Con Res 69) was first introduced in the US House of Representatives in 2012, and again in December 2013. It seeks to express that SOCE has no legitimate therapeutic purpose, is dangerous and harmful and should be prohibited for minors. The proposed resolution seeks to encourage the states to protect minors from SOCE. This bill is sitting in the Committee on Energy and Commerce, Subcommittee on Health. Two states have passed legislation banning state licensed mental health professionals from engaging in SOCE with patients under 18. California’s law prohibits therapy that seeks to change behaviors or gender expressions, or eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions and feelings toward individuals of the same sex. The 2012 law subjects licensed professionals to disciplinary action for engaging in SOCE with minors, which the state deems unprofessional. The constitutionality of the California ban was unsuccessfully challenged in federal court. In Pickup v. Brown, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals held that the state may permissibly regulate the professional conduct of licensed mental health professionals, without violating their free speech rights. Nor does the law violate the parents’ fundamental right to raise their children, because parents don’t have a right to choose a specific treatment that the state has deemed harmful. The court was persuaded by the well documented prevailing opinion of the medical and psychological community that SOCE is not effective and creates a potential risk of serious harm. The state has a le-

gitimate state interest in protecting the well-being of minors and may permissibly ban a form of medical treatment that it finds unacceptable. Proponents of SOCE filed a petition for review by the US Supreme Court in early February. At issue in their petition in Pickup v. Brown is the ability of parents to raise their children as they deem appropriate by seeking counseling for children based on the parents’ religious beliefs, and the free speech rights of “therapists”. Responses to that petition are due at the end of April. Then the Court will decide whether it will hear the case. New Jersey also has a law banning licensed mental health professionals from using SOCE with minors, signed by Governor Christie this past summer. Again, a lawsuit was filed by proponents of SOCE. The federal district court, district of NJ, dismissed this challenge in November 2013, relying upon the language from the California case. King v. Christie also rejected a free exercise of religion claim made by the SOCE counselors. An appeal to the Third Circuit Federal Court of Appeals was filed in January 2014. As of this writing, bills to ban SOCE with minor patients by licensed mental health providers have been introduced in at least a dozen state legislatures, including New York. The NY bill, introduced in the Senate by Senator Holyman, and in the Assembly by Member Glick, was referred to the Higher education committee in January 2014, where it sits. If passed, engaging in SOCE with a minor would be considered unprofessional conduct, subjecting the provider to discipline by NY State’s licensing agency. The legal rights of LGBTQ families are an everchanging landscape, to be addressed monthly in this column. The material in this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to give legal advice, and should not substitute for the independent advice of counsel. Geri Pomerantz is an attorney in the capital district with a practice focused on family and matrimonial law, specifically including LGBTQ issues. Geri conducts continuing legal education training for other lawyers on issues of importance to the LGBTQ community, most recently in January regarding Representing LGBTQ Clients in a Post-Windsor World, for the Albany County Bar Association and the Empire Justice Center. Amongst other things, Geri is a member of the Collaborative Divorce Association of the Capital District. The views expressed in this column are solely those of Ms. Pomerantz and do not reflect the opinion of the Pride Center.

Mich a e l C ooks and You Can Too

Mic hael Meade

A freylakhn Pesach -Happy Passover! Celebrate the Seder with these 3 wonderful recipes Passover is the eight day observance commemorating the freedom and exodus of the Israelites from Egypt during the reign of the Pharaoh Ramses II. A time of family gatherings and lavish meals called Seders, the story of Passover is retold through the reading of the Haggadah. With its special foods, songs, and customs, the Seder is the focal point of the Passover celebration. The holiday is celebrated on the fifteenth night of the Jewish month of Nissan (Hebrew Calendar), which usually falls in April (Gregorian Calendar). This year, Passover begins at sundown on Tuesday, April 19th and continues until Tuesday, April 26th. Jewish cooking is a unique synthesis of cooking styles from the many places that Jews have lived throughout the centuries. It’s a cuisine that shows the influence of Middle Eastern, Mediterranean, Spanish, German and Eastern European styles of cooking, all filtered through the dietary constraints of Jewish law. Before we go any further with this, I should explain that I am not Jewish, nor am I in any way an authority on the extremely complex subject of Kosher cooking. I’m just a guy who likes to cook and eat. I know that you’re not supposed to use pork or shellfish and that you’re not supposed to mix meat and dairy and that’s about the extent of my knowledge. This column is intended to be just an overview and a starting point. I always wanted to learn more about Jewish food and Passover seemed like a good place to begin. If you’re seriously interested in pursuing authentic Jewish cooking, in accordance with Kosher laws, there are many excellent cookbooks

and websites you can check out. Potato knishes, tzimmes (carrots stewed with dried fruits) and kugel, or noodle pudding, are typical dishes of the Ashkenazic, or European Jewish tradition. The knishes call for matzo meal, which can be purchased in any large supermarket. Serve these dishes with a roasted chicken or a pot roast and you’ll have the start to a delicious, comforting Passover dinner.

Miniature Potato Knishes

Tzimmes

6 carrots, peeled and cut into 1/8 inch slices 3 tablespoons butter 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup water 1/2 cup raisins 1/2 cup prunes 5 tablespoons brown sugar 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 1 tablespoon lemon juice 3 tablespoons honey In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter, then add the carrots and sauté for five minutes. Add the water and brown sugar and bring to a boil. Add the remaining ingredients, cover and simmer over low heat for two hours, stirring occasionally.

Kugel

3 cups mashed potatoes (approx. 2 large russet potatoes) 2 eggs, slightly beaten 2 tablespoons butter 1 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper 1 medium onion, diced 3/8 cup matzo meal 1 egg yolk, beaten with 1 tablespoon water

1 pound medium-width egg noodles 1 & 1/2 sticks butter, cut into small pieces 1 cup sugar 2 apples, peeled and chopped 8 ounces golden raisins 3 ounces finely chopped almonds 1 large can crushed pineapple, drained 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 egg, slightly beaten

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In medium sized bowl, combine mashed potatoes with eggs, butter, salt, pepper, and matzo meal. Sautee the diced onion until golden brown and add to the mixture. Form into walnut sized balls. Brush with diluted egg yolk. Place on a well-greased baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes or until well browned. This makes approximately 42 miniature knishes and can easily be doubled.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine sugar, raisins, pineapple, finely chopped almonds, chopped apples, vanilla and cinnamon. Boil noodles for approximately 10 minutes. Drain noodles and add one stick of butter (add the butter while the noodles are still hot). Add combined ingredients along with the egg. Pour into very well greased 9”x13” glass or metal pan. Dot with remaining butter, bake for one hour. After it has cooled completely, refrigerate overnight. If you cut into it too soon, it will fall apart. Serve hot or cold. It will reheat very well in the oven or the microwave.

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Michael Meade was trained at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently sous-chef for Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy. Send questions or comments to Mmeade1215@aol.com Michael Meade was trained at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently sous-chef for Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy. Send questions or comments to Mmeade1215@aol.com

M o n e y Ma t t e r s

Thomas J. Walling CFP®

When Is It Time to Rollover? Planning for retirement? Tom looks at Defined Benefit and Defined Contribution plans There are circumstances where it may make sense to keep your retirement plan where it is after you separate from service. There are also times it may make sense to roll it over to an Individual Retirement Arrangement (IRA). It is important to be informed when the time comes to make this decision. In very general terms, company sponsored retirement plans come in two main categories. These are Defined Benefit and Defined Contribution plans. Many have no retirement plan through work as these are optional benefits to the employer. A Defined Benefit plan provides for an income that can be defined by factors such as length of service, salary, and age. Since the funding of these accounts is generally pre tax, its income is considered income taxable. There are usually options for taking an income that will end at your death (highest payout monthly) as well as options to leave a percentage of your monthly income payments to a beneficiary ending at their death. These programs are becoming rare. These plans put the investment risk to the employer and are more expensive due to actuarial (figuring out annual contributions necessary) costs.

Defined Contribution shifts most the investment risk to the employee as well as allowing the employee to decide how much to contribute toward their future retirement income needs. Employers are not mandated to make contributions to these accounts, but many will match an employee’s contribution up to a predetermined amount. Nowadays, 403(b)’s and 401(k)’s are the most common retirement plans offered through companies. Non for profits, hospitals, some schools, etc. can offer 403(b) defined contribution plans. Most (but not all) of the other retirement plans chosen by companies are now 401(k) defined contribution plans. Employees are in charge of their investments in these, although the employer is in charge of the investment options. This limits the investment pool to a predetermined list of investment choices picked by an employer. How these accounts are allocated is very important. Assets in Defined Contribution plans can usually be rolled over to an IRA after separation of service allowing for many more investment choices. Among other things, Rollover IRA’s allow continuation of tax deferral on these account balances. Look at factors such as expenses, loads, surrender charges and historic performance to compare.

Preferably, speak with a financial professional as there are many other variables. Thinking of retiring at 55? If an individual takes distributions from their Defined Contribution plan after separating from service in the year they turn 55, there is no IRS penalty on the distributions from that retirement plan. However, if the funds are rolled into a Rollover IRA, a penalty of 10% will apply to distributions pre age 59 ½. The take away is if you separate from service at 55, it may not make sense to move the assets to a Rollover IRA until age 59 ½. It may end up costing you if income is needed from these accounts. Surrender charges are costs associated with exiting an investment before a predetermined amount of time. These are not IRS imposed. The retirement account and investments inside dictate these charges. What that means is that your funds may not be fully accessible to you without a charge. If you are considering a Rollover IRA, know of the charges associated with moving your account. These are a few rules of thumb for considering the rollover of a Defined Contribution plan to an IRA. It can be a very complicated decision. Get all the information before making a choice. Very seldom does it make sense to just let retirement assets sit there ignored. *This article is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information on the subjects covered. It is not, however, intended to provide specific legal, tax, or other professional advice. For specific professional assistance, the services of an appropriate professional should be sought. Neither Cetera Advisor Networks LLC nor any of its representatives may give legal or tax advice. Thomas J. Walling CFP® is an Investment Advisor Representative of and offers securities and advisory services through Cetera Advisor Networks.(Member FINRA/SIPC) and a Registered Investment Advisor. Branch office:235 Lark St. #43 Albany, NY 12210. He is also past presenter at the PrideCenter on financial affairs affecting the LGBT community as well as for SAGE of NYC. Tom Is past presidents of the board of directors of The Albany Damien Center, Inc. as well as Our Brothers’ Keepers Foundation. Tom can be reached at 518.878.1294 or Thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com

out in the garden

Judith Fetterley

In Praise of Trees Judith learns that there’s more to a tree than we realize I have been blessed this winter by the presence of two trees I planted last summer. Two summers ago, in the terrible drought, I lost the Harry Lauder’s Walking Stick (Coryllus avellana ‘Contorta’) that had given me ten years of extraordinary winter interest. I chose not to replace it. As Sara and I grow older, we seem to need and want more shade, so I decided to plant a tree to increase the shade we get on our patio. I knew the tree I chose would be magical in the fall but I did not expect its winter beauty. Bare of leaves, with mottled gray bark and arching branches, Parrotia persica reaches upward, cutting across a sky of gray or blue. I see it from my office window and I see it from the living room couch where I sit and read with Oscar in my lap. It has more than made up for the loss of my Harry Lauder’s Walking Stick. I first encountered Parrotia persica in England, visiting Bourton House in the Cotswolds. It had color to rival a maple, habit to rival a beech, and bark to rival a Stewartia. I was impressed, I persuaded Randy at Faddegons to stock a specimen or two, but I did not buy one myself. At Bourton House, the tree occupied an entire courtyard, magnificent, worthy, desirable, but not possible for me. Too big. When Ben and I began to talk about a tree for the

hole the Walking Stick left, we considered, and discarded, a redbud, a maple, a Kornus kousa dogwood; offhand, he mentioned a Parrotia. “Too big, too big, I would love to have one, but too big for the space,” I cried. “Well,” says Ben, “there is a columnar version and a spreading version of the Parrotia. We’ll plant the columnar version and it will fit just fine.” And so I have my Parrotia and can only lament that more people don’t discard the usual options and choose a less familiar tree. Randy tells me that he could not sell his stock of Parrotia and has not re-ordered. In October, I planted a fastigiate sweet gum (Liquidambar styraciflua ‘Slender Silhouette’) off the southern corner of the front of my house. When I first moved to Columbine Drive, I planted a white fir off this corner of the house. It died. I tried another. It died. I tried a different cultivar. It died. I quit trying (three arborcides were enough for me) and planted an “Annabelle” hydrangea. Still I felt the need for a tree to anchor the landscape of my front corner. This fall, with Ben’s help, I overcame my fear that the site was toxic and decided once more to plant a tree there. Actually, I was lucky in a way that those first trees died. They would have been too big for the site and had they lived I would by now have a major problem. I see this problem throughout my neighborhood

– trees crowding up against houses, blocking windows, often sheared to the point of mutilation. Many have simply been cut down, ending as stacks of branches and trunks by the side of the road. They will be picked up by the town and turned into wood chips. I will get truckloads of these woodchips and make pathways in my garden, a useful but sorry end for a noble plant. My new tree is fastigiate; it will fit the space available to it. Already I am in love with Liquidambar styraciflua whose winter profile equals, possibly exceeds, that of Parrotia persica. I want to offer a class on trees. I want to talk about what it means to plant a tree and how to do it so that the tree has a chance to survive. I want to tell people about winter interest and to talk about the space a given tree needs. I want to give people more choices by introducing them to Heptacodium, Stewartia, Liquidambar styraciflua, Parrotia and by pointing out, for example, that the sweet gum has magnificent fall color and fantastic fruits and that the Stewartia has intricately patterned bark and flowers that look and smell like camellias. I want to sing the praises of trees and thank them for being. Luckily, I can do that every day on my own.

Judith Fetterley owns and manages Perennial Wisdom, design consultation for new and existing gardens. Visit Judiths website at Perennialwisdom.net or contact her directly at jf@perennialwisdom.net.

Dedicated to inclusiveness & social justice for the LGBT Community

First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Ave., Troy 12180 272-2771

See website for Holy Week & Easter Services: www.unitedprestroy.org 10 AM Sunday Service Rainbow flags in the sanctuary & outside

ASK MARK YOUR TAX QUESTIONS Mr. Mark, I own a two family house and rent out both units. Last year I hired a painter to paint the whole outside of the house and two of the bedrooms on the second floor. The total cost to me was $ 4,500. I heard that I had to give the painter a 1099 form. Is this really true? Signed, Two Family House Owner Dear Two Family House Owner, If the painter is incorporated, the answer at this time is no. However if the painter’s business is a sole proprietorship, partnership, or LLC the answer is yes as long as the payments are 600 dollars or more. ========================== Dear Mark, I am an artist. I have sold a few items but have bought a lot of supplies last year. A friend of mine has a clothing store and she has to take inventory of her stock at the end of the year. Should I be doing the same thing? How do I measure partial bottles of paint, etc? Signed, Artist Dear Artist, Although most businesses must take inventory at the end of the calendar or their fiscal year, artists are one of the exceptions. You can expense your regular supplies as long as there is no major distortion of income. For example if your sales are ten thousand dollars a year, you would most likely not be able

to expense ten thousand dollars of supplies. The amount should be reasonable and proportional to your income. Of course one must look at the facts and circumstances in each case. ========================== Dear Mr. Witecki, Last year I went to a restaurant and while dining, water leaked from the ceiling , dripped on hand which startled me. I had a beverage in my hand at the time, and the startling caused me to spill the beverage on the table. The glass then dropped on the floor and broke. The waiter came over and told me I had to pay for the glass. Unbelievable! I said no way call the manager. The manager came over and told myself and my dining partner to leave the premises immediately and that “our kind” should not come to the restaurant any more. The “our kind” referred to us being a gay couple. I retained an attorney, sued and there was a settlement out of court for four thousand five hundred dollars. Out of that the attorney took one third plus some costs. Is this taxable, if so how does it get reported? Signed, Broken Glass but No Broken Spirit. Dear Broken, How a lawsuit is taxed depends on what was sued for. You don’t mention how the settlement was apportioned. One must look to the causes of action in the suit etc. Any amount that is for physical pain and suffering is nontaxable. Any amount for paid for medical expenses

Mark D. Witecki are not taxable to the extent not claimed as a deduction on your return. Emotional pain and suffering and amounts received due to discrimination are more complicated. Attorneys’ fees get apportioned and allocated either from gross income or as an itemized deduction depending on the specific causes of action in the case and depending on the allocation of the settlement. Please contact me so I can review the situation. Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304 Mark D. Witecki specializes in small businesses and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y. Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™ practitioner, Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted to practice before the United States Tax Court. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. Mark’s office is located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady, New York and contacted at 346-4000.

Mary Anderson invented the windshield wiper. Stephanie Kwolek invented Kevlar®. Margaret Knight invented the grocery bag.

(Leave it to the ladies to come up with great ideas.) If you’re looking for big ideas to power the growth of your company, we’d like to help you. We’re a women-owned business with a team of professionals who not only know how to think, but also make things happen. Communications. Leadership programs. New product development. Public relations. Sponsorships. Customer relations. The list goes on. Call Wanda Zygmuntowicz at 716-983-4239. She’s our President, and she just loves a challenge. www.customericity.com

"Our voice is our weapon. [We must] reaffirm the importance of cultural diversity in our community [and] preserve our literary heritage, [so that our] history is written and passed on to others...We alone are responsible for the preservation and future of our literature." Melvin Dixon Before social acknowledgement, through the purges of McCarthyism and obscenity trials, from the spark of sexual liberation and Stonewall, and even persevering through the AIDS epidemic, the Queer identity has always been linked to literature: reading, writing, constructing individual and shared histories. Queer literature, and the academic discourse of queer theory, has advanced an understanding of our identities by archiving the struggles of those who, as they say, paved the way for our generation and the privileges we take for granted. As a child, I gravitated toward stories centered on the Civil Rights Movement, stories in which I intuited a likeness to what I did not yet understand about myself, stories in which I could not comprehend the discrimination of one considered "other" or "abnormal." As I emerged from the proverbial closet and embraced my gay identity, I searched out opportunities for connection with those like me, from whom I could learn about my own identity and our shared history. There were few such opportunities to hear stories from a group with which I identified, and even fewer opportunities to hear stories of diversity. Most representations of identity, the stories I had access too, I found on social media platforms, and these consisted of superficial curation. How can I determine someone's identity through photos, links to videos, or in 140-characters? And looking for Queer representations on so-called "gay dating" websites proved even more problematic to my understanding of identity: stories shortened to torsos or Internet slang (VGL, UB2, PNP, DDF). By shortening our stories and devaluing the way in which we represent our identities, are we losing touch with the Queer history that precedes us, and even the Queer history that we are living? With a fellow graduate student, Matt Worhach, a doctoral student in Counseling Psychology, I have created a workshop focused on writing and advocacy, called the PRIDE WRITERS' COLLECTIVE. We would like this group to be a space for LGBTQ individuals of diverse ages, races, and cultural backgrounds to engage in a cross-community dialogue where members construct and share personal narratives about themselves, their identities, and how these identities can translate into collective community action. We believe this project will be crucial in cultivating and fortifying community engagement, solidarity, and empathy. Our goal is to create as diverse a group as possible, so that we may begin to defy the perceived identity borders within our own community by way of group writing, reading, and advocacy. The tentative start date for our group will be Monday April 14th and will meet weekly 7pm to 9pm for 3 months, location TBD. After the initial group, we are hoping to replicate the workshop next year to run in a similar format, with potential room for expansion and the addition of facilitators (chosen from workshop participants). If you are interested in learning more about our workshop or are interested in participating, please email us at pridewriterscollective@gmail.com. Also, we will be circulating flyers and emails, with instructions on how to become involved, to various groups in the region. Please email us if you are a group that would like to become affiliated or would like to help us spread the word to the community members whom you serve. James Thompson PRIDE WRITERS' COLLECTIVE pridewriterscollective@gmail.com CAPITAL PRIDE 2014

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT WHILE REACHING TENS OF THOUSANDS IN THE LGBT COMMUNITY call (518) 462-6138 or email mweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org to find out about

Sponsorship Opportunities

Pride Week kicks off Thurs. 6/5/14 & culminates with the Largest PRIDE in upstate New Yorkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Parade & PRIDE Festival on Saturday 6/14/14

We need you to help us with these three things:

The 1st Annual Give OUT Day, May 9th 2013, raised over $600,000! Close to 5,500 individuals supported over 400 LGBTQ nonprofit groups across the country. WOW!

1) Mark May 15th, 2014, on your calendar and go to giveout.razoo.com/story/Pride-Center-Of-The-Capital-Region to schedule your donation. Your donation will not be processed until May 15th but you can schedule the donation TODAY! Furthermore, with your help, the Pride Center of the Capital Region, raised over $10,000 on Give OUT Day. As a result in the summer the Pride Center hosted the first ever Youth In Power: Pride Leadership Camp which brought together 20 young people, aged 13 to 18, who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, questioning and their allies. Youth In Power was designed to empower youth in self advocacy and social justice. Because of you, Give Out Day was a huge success and it had a direct impact on Pride Center programming. If you can believe it, another year has passed and The 2nd Annual Give OUT Day will be here before you know it! On, May 15th, 2014, thousands more will show their support for their favorite LGBTQ nonprofits! What really has me excited is that this is a national event! Last year we were #1 on the national leader board for smaller non-profits [see infographic pg.33]. This year we hope to place #1 again! WE NEED YOU!!!

Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CapitalPrideCenter1 and Twitter: twitter.com/CapitalPrideCtr You can help build a buzz by posting information about Give OUT Day on your Facebook page and Tweeting about it. Make sure to ask your friends to connect too!

3) Become an “Official” Give OUT Day Ambassador! On Give OUT Day, May 15th, 2014, you will be the Pride Center’s biggest fan! You will Tweet from the Tweet Deck, you will post to friend’s walls, you will email. You will sound the call to Give OUT!!! Give OUT Day is 24 hours of LGBTQ and ally giving – and it’s your chance make a real difference, right here in OUR community.

Be our champion, and help us get to the top!!! We can’t wait to celebrate the difference your generosity will make on May 15th, 2014!

So, show your love through Give OUT Day, and help grow this amazing organization, which gives so much to our LGBTQ community.

For more information about getting involved in Give OUT Day, May 15th, 2014, please contact me, Pilar ArthurSnead, Development and Marketing Manager. You can send a letter by carrier pigeon or it might be easier to me at PArthur-Snead@capitalpridecenter.org or give a call - (518) 462 -6138.

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H e r e’ s G u ffman

P a tri ck Whit e

Keeping Planes in the Air Patrick interviews regional theater impersarro Michael McDermott You’ve done nearly every job in the local theater from being onstage to board president, building and designing sets, producing and now co-directing “Boeing-Boeing” at Home Made Theatre (4/18-5/4,587-4427,homemadetheater. org). What got you started and what keeps you going? >>> Like a lot of people, I had fun in high school plays, but then never considered doing anything in the community theater after college or in later life. When my son, Brendan was 10 he decided he was going to grow up and become an actor. His mother-- an art teacher-- and I supported him, and much to our surprise he was cast pretty quickly in a Cap Rep Christmas show, their previous version of A Christmas Carol, as Young Scrooge to Larry Linville’s Scrooge. Well, one thing led to another and I was shortly driving him around the Capital District to auditions and rehearsals. He got cast in a show at ACT, in Peter Tyger’s “American Dream”, in a part that Peter had written specifically for Brendan. Well, I had been sitting in the back of the house during rehearsals and an actor dropped out, they asked me to take the part, and I said, “Ok, but I don’t sing or dance...” and before you knew it I was doing both and even had my own solo. That was the start of something... within a year I was President at ACT and I have been on a roll ever since. What keeps me going is the wonderful sense of community that we have in this area and the great opportunity to meet so many interesting and inspiring people on every show. This current production, “BoeingBoeing”, that I am co-directing at HMT with my colleague Michael C. Mensching is a great chance to work with some old friends and a chance to meet several new faces...who quickly become friends. You produced “Caroline or Change” which had a very successful run at SLOC this past February, congratulations, I loved this production and mostly for the sheer audacity to take this challenging work on. I’m sure every job has different demands but what did it take to produce this show?

>>> Well, this one just about killed me, lol. I did feel fortunate to have guided it from the beginning. I was on the play selection committee at SLOC last year. The Director, Corie Rowe, submitted this complicated, challenging and IMPOSSIBLE to cast show. I wasn’t attached to the show as producer at the time, but it intrigued me. Play selection is an interesting process. You kind of juggle things around, trying to find the right balance of art and commerce, risky new works to establish the artistic credibility, old chestnuts to fill the house and pay the rent. But something about this one intrigued me.

to find the volunteers who want to help out behind the scenes, which is a shame really, because the sense of community and the collaboration can be such a positive experience to be part of. But the best part of the show was making several new friends with some of the most amazing voices you will ever find in this area. Almost half of the cast were new to SLOC, and it was quite a challenge in casting this ethnically diverse show. It’s a challenge that many of our urban companies face-the shows they present don’t always present the diverse face of the cities they are located in. And, when a company takes a risk on a show that may be viewed as a challenge to cast, like we did with Parade, at Spotlight Players, or Aida at SLOC, it can be a difficult task to reach out into the community and find the diversity we need to do a work justice. This production, of “Caroline” was fortunate in many ways to draw on the local church community and the talent there. Additionally, we saw it reflected in our audiences. I just feel blessed to be part of this effort. “Boeing-Boeing” is a classic sex farce about an American in Paris who keeps his 3 stewardess fiancees happy by juggling their flight schedules but when the title plane speeds up its routes…collisions are imminent. What’s it got that we haven’t seen yet this season?

I had known Corie’s mom for years as a costume designer-- one of the best in the area. Corie had always impressed me, but at the time she hadn’t directed anything locally, so here was this newbie proposing a critically acclaimed operatic musical, featuring an ethnically diverse cast, which was kind of a flop on Broadway. Well, we took the chance and the results were remarkable. She and the Musical Director, Michael Lotano really created a miracle, but the Producers-- me and Joanne Peal,- had our hands full. It’s just a challenge any more to get people who want to help backstage, in the production crew roles. I ended up creating all of the set design for the show, and spent almost all of my free hours building the set as well as doing PR and other Producer roles. And frankly, the team work I have with Joanne-- we’ve co-produced several shows together-- is a great safety net. I’m proud of the results, but it seems it’s getting harder and harder

>>> Well, tonight was our read through and I started laughing immediately at the characters the actors are starting to bring to life. This work is very thin in the depth of the script, but full of life and energy in the larger than life characters and the mad cap action on stage. It’s going to move fast. Physical comedy has a certain fluidity to it that demands the same kind of discipline as a choreographed dance number, so you can expect to see a lot of action as the story plays out. We certainly have the challenge ahead of us-- our good friend Adam Coons just directed a production of the same play at ACT, and the bar is high. Fortunately, we have a different spin on the characterizations that will help present a different view of the same story.

Patrick White is a Capital Region actor who has most recently performed in “Good People” at Curtain Call Theatre, “Spring Awakening” at UAlbany and “Finnegan’s Farewell” at Proctors.

T o b e a bl e s s i n g

Samantha Baldock

Creating a Wall of Love This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions.

“You’re disgusting!” “You’re nothing more than a filthy animal, you per-vert!” “God doesn’t love you, why would He? He hates you. He hates everything about you.” These words were spewed from the mouths of street preachers at Charlotte Pride in 2013. Even the garish printing on their clothing assaulted gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender attendees and those that support them: “Stop Your Sinning,” “Fear God,” “Repent or Perish.” Their condemnations were boldly lettered on signs and crosses: “God is Angry with the Wicked,” “Free Judgment,” “Trust Jesus, He Hates Sin.” The gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community may be quite accustomed to this abuse hurled at them at Pride events across the country. North and South Carolina are home to a particularly virulent strain. To counter the message of hate in an active and visible way, I and thirty other volunteers went to Charlotte Pride. We created the “Wall of Love,” a barrier of gay and straight allies to buffer the venom of the street preachers. We blocked their bodies with ours. We blocked their signs with our own: “We Are All Equal,” “Don’t Listen to Them… Listen to God. Romans 8:38-39 ‘…Nothing Shall Separate Us from the Love of God in Christ.’” We drowned their voices with ours. We sang and spoke words of encouragement. We handed out almost six thousand purple stickers that read “Christian + Gay = OK” asking the passers-by to wear them as a sign of solidarity against the street preachers and their messages of hate.

As part of the weeklong Pride events, my mother, Kathy Baldock, spoke on Sunday morning at Caldwell Presbyterian Church (PCUSA). Earlier in the week, Caldwell had hosted an Interfaith Service that joined together members of several open and affirming Christian churches in Charlotte, NC. Kathy is a straight Christian advocate for full inclusion in conservative churches, as am I. She started a nonprofit organization, Canyonwalker Connections, in 2010 with the intent of repairing the breach between the church and the LGBT Christian community (Isaiah 58: 6-12). In her message to the congregation of Caldwell, Kathy urged the church body to not only be affirming, but to actively seek out ways to publicly support diversity in their community. The congregation soon had the opportunity to do just this. The service ended early to allow the members of the church to march in the first Charlotte Pride parade since 1994. Eight other churches marched along with Caldwell, one right after another. The strength, force, variety, and unison of Christ followers could not be missed. We travelled down the main street, South Tryon Street, through the center of Charlotte. Those standing on the sidelines at the beginning of the route were waving and smiling. Occasionally, we heard shouts of encouragement. As we approached the middle of the route, the crowds grew larger, and all of a sudden they burst into cheers. The further we marched along the parade route, the louder and more enthusiastic the crowds became. For the attendees, the impact of seeing Christian churches with hundreds of participants publicly declaring support of diversity, inclusion, and love was profound.

When I looked into the faces of those on the sidelines, I could see the purest form of appreciation, support, and encouragement that I had ever seen. Reflecting back from the faces of those I marched with was the same sentiment. I can honestly say that I have never been a part of something so powerful. It was incredible. I couldn’t hold back my tears. I was laughing, crying, smiling, I couldn’t control my emotions. I had never seen God work in this way. It was beautiful. At the end of the parade route, away from the crowds, several of the churches formed a circle. We joined together in prayer led by Pastor John from Caldwell. The congregants were inspired; there was a new light ignited in them. There was a sacred sense of mission and understanding as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender attendees stood with straight allies. Visible justice is love. Standing with the oppressed is love. As the adrenaline slowly wore down, we knew what we had to do next. We went directly back into Pride and stood in the “Wall of Love” for our second day. We were refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to spread the true message of God: all are equal in His eyes. Love is love, regardless of anything else.

Samantha Baldock is a graduate student at Rockefeller College of Public Affairs and Policy, earning her Master of Public Administration. She is currently a Fellow at the Center for Women in Government and Civil Society, graduating in May 2014. Adovocates for Welcoming Congregartions (AWC) works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions. You can join the AWC conversation at

welcomingcongregations-subscribe@yahoogroups.com and ...

attend our Interfaith Pride Service on Sunday, June 8 at First Presbyterian of Albany at 4 p.m.

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer, NY www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie, NY www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady, NY www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany, NY www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Shalom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy, NY www.berithshalom.com (518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany, NY www.bethemethalbany.org (518)436-9761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany, NY www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.easternparkway.weebly.com (518)374-4306 St George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady.org Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161

First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany, NY www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville.org (518)458-1562

First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany, NY www.firstcongregationalalbany.org / (518)482-4580

Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html (518)434-8861

First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany, NY www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany, NY www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady, NY www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, NY www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy, NY www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY (518) 436-8812

Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar , NY www.journeyucc.com Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratogaspringsumc.org / (518)5843720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road Northville, NY Tel. 518-863-8086 or 518-434-8861 staelredpriory@aol.com St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany, NY www.standrewsalbany.org / (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany, NY www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY www.unitychurchinalbany.org (518)4533603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock, NY www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open! Affirming! Welcoming! Joyous!

Pride Center Special Events Wednesday, April 2: Board of Directors Meeting, 6-8pm. The Board meets the first Wednesday of every month at the Center. All meetings are open to the public to observe for the first half of the meeting. Wednesday, April 2, 16, 30: Alternative Prom Planning Committee Meetings, 6pm. Ages 13-19. Being active on the planning committee gets you a FREE pass to AProm! For more information, email James Shultis-jshultis@capitalpridecenter.org

Friday, April 4: 1st Friday at the Romaine Brooks Gallery, 5-9pm. Come to the Pride Center’s very own art gallery! Artist TBD. Wednesday, April 16: Business Alliance LGBT Professionals Mixer, 6-8pm. The Charles F. Confectionery & Wine Bar, 12 Second St, Troy NY. $10 suggested donation. Don’t miss the Region’s biggest LGBT monthly event! Join us for the April LGBT Professionals Networking Mixer. Come and meet up with friends , distribute your business cards, and make important business contacts. Friday, April 11: GET REAL: Queer Relationships, 5:30-7pm. Ages 13-18. So what makes a relationship, anyway? We’ll talk about different kinds, what we want or don’t want, and what makes the relationships of queer youth so fabulous! GET REAL answers - GET REAL knowledge - GET REAL power. Sunday, April 20: Vintage Pride Potluck, 1-3 pm. First Presbyterian Church, 362 State Street, Albany. Bring a dish to share and enjoy drinks and dessert provided by the Pride Center. New topics and activities every month! A casual social opportunity for LGBTQ people 55+. Sunday, April 20: Rainbow Café Movie Night, 6:30pm. Stop by our Rainbow Café, grab a nice, hot cup of coffee, enjoy some artwork on the walls and get cozy on our couch and watch a flick! All are welcome. Wednesday, April 23: Organizing Services for the Trans* Community 6:30pm. Calling all providers, organizers, movers & shakers of Trans* communities and individuals in the Capital Region! Join us to learn how to better coordinate services and learn more about what we each do in the area for the Trans* community. Please RSVP by emailing rgalvan@capitalpridecenter.org. Sunday, April 27: Supper Sunday, 5-9pm. The Pride Center’s monthly program that offers a free, delicious community meal home-cooked by our fabulous volunteer Mike C. the last Sunday of each month. All events take place at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Avenue, Albany) unless otherwise noted. For more information call (518) 462-6138.

Ongoing Events Sundays

Wednesdays

LGBT Alcoholics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7—8:30pm

Women’s Group 2nd Wednesday of the month, 1st floor 6-7pm Social, 7-8pm Discussion

Rainbow Café Drop-in Weekly, 1st Floor, 6—9pm

Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 1st & 3rd Sunday of the month , 1st Floor, 11am-1pm Vintage Pride Potluck Lunch 3rd Sunday of the month, 1—3pm First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany Movie Night 3rd Sunday of the month , 1st Floor, 6:30pm Supper Sunday Last Sunday of the month, 1st Floor, 5—9pm

Mondays

Men's Peer Support Group Weekly, 1st Floor, 7—8:30pm Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7:30—8:30pm

Free Confidential HIV Testing 1st & 3rd Monday, 3rd Floor 4—7pm

Tuesdays

Board of Directors Meeting 1st Wednesday of the month, 3rd Floor, 6pm

Live from the Living Room Open Mic* 2nd Wednesday of the month, Garden Level, 7pm LGBT Book Club* 3rd Wednesday of the month, 1st Floor, 7pm

Thursdays

Thrive LGBT Youth Group (Ages 18—24) Weekly, 3rd Floor, 6—7:30pm LGBT Narcotics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7:30—8:30pm Schenectady Rainbow Nights Youth Group (Ages 13—18) Weekly, 6—7:30pm Proctors Theater, Underground Space, 432 State Street, Schenectady

Fridays

Rainbow Café Drop-in Weekly, 1st Floor, 6—9pm

Trans Pride Discussion Group 1st Tuesday of the Month, 1st Floor, 7—9pm

Game Night 2nd Friday of the month, 1st Floor, 6-9pm

Capital Region Support Group for Family and Friends of LGBT People 2nd Tuesday of the month, 7pm First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady More info: Julia Helfman 518.372.9911

GET REAL: Youth Education (Ages 13 – 18) 2nd Fridays, Garden Level, 5:30-7pm

Trans Pride Meet & Greet 3rd Tuesday of the month, 1st Floor, 7—9pm Saratoga Youth Group (Ages 13-18) Every other Tuesday, 4:30-6pm Saratoga Arts Center 320 Broadway, Saratoga

Albany Youth Group (Ages 13 – 18) Weekly, Garden level, 7—8:30pm 1stFriday @ Romaine Brooks Gallery 1st Friday of the Month, 1st Floor, 5—9pm Free Confidential HIV Testing 2nd & 4th Friday, 3rd Floor, 4—7pm

* Indicates outside groups that meet at the Pride Center.

All events take place at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Ave) unless otherwise noted.

Pride Center Administrative Office Hours Monday—Friday: 10AM-5PM

Saturday—Sunday: Closed

April 2014

Pride Center Affiliate Events Albany Gay Men’s Chorus Rehearsals: Tuesday evenings from 6:45 - 8:45pm at the First Lutheran Church of Albany, 181 Western Avenue (State Street side), Albany. Wednesday, April 9: Saratoga Pride Women’s Coffee, Meets every 2nd Wednesday of the month. Check out our website for location and additional details. www.saratogapride.com Thursday, April 17: Saratoga Pride Lesbian Networking Breakfast, 7:30am. Country Corner Café, Church St., Saratoga Springs. You can find us in the upstairs dining room. Latecomers welcome! www.saratogapride.com

Community Events

Thursday, April 3: Janet Mock-Redefining Realness. 7pm. The Book House of Stuyvesant Plaza, 1475 Western Ave. In a landmark book, Janet Mock recounts her coming-of-age as a transgender teen -a deeply personal & empowering portrait offering a bold perspective on being young, multiracial, economically challenged and trans in America. Thursday, April 3: Transgender Advocates of the Capital Region (TACR)-Janet Mock Book Signing. 7pm. Join TACR at the Book House of Stuyvesant Plaza-meet Janet Mock, Get your book signed. Then, meet the movement. Sunday, April 6 & 20: Bisexual Potluck Brunch, 11a-1pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, 1st fl. Come for great brunch and a meet other bisexual members of the community! Wednesday, April 2: We Served As Well: Transgender Veterans Group, 4:30-5:30pm. VA Medical Center, Room 806D, 113 Holland Ave, Albany. A peer support group for transgender, crossdressing , gender-questioning, two-spirited and curious veterans. More info: nullwendy@yahoo.com Wednesday, April 2 & 16: In Our Own Voices Out The Closet I Am Support Group (Ages 21-30) 6:30-8pm. For more info visit www.facebook.com/outtheclosetiam Tuesday, April 8 & 22: In Our Own Voices Black & Latino Pride Committee Meeting 6-7:30pm. Wednesday, April 9 & 23: In Our Own Voices-Voices of Unity (Formerly known as Trans* Care) 6-7:30pm. Voices of Unity is a social group for transgender people of color to share their voices about community issues. Wednesday, April 9: Poetry Open Mic Night, 7-9pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany. Now meeting in the newly renovated Garden Level space! Friday, April 11: In Our Own Voices Sexversations* 7-9pm. Sexversations is a monthly gathering for women of color who have sex with women. Join us for some intriguing, enticing and thoughtprovoking conversations! We meet at a different location every month. Please call (518) 432-4188. Wednesday, April 16: LGBT Book Club, 7-9pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, 1st fl. Tuesday, April 29: Empire State Pride Agenda Equality & Justice Day! Join the largest statewide gathering of our movement at the Empire State Pride Agenda’s annual Equality & Justice Day and show the strength of the LGBT community in our state’s capital. Registration deadline is April 18th. Please visit www.prideagenda.org for more information. *All In Our Own Voices events take place at 245 Lark Street, Albany unless noted. For more info, call (518) 432-4188 or email info@inourownvoices.org

Have an event for CommUNITY? If you would like to have your events posted in the CommUNITY newsletter, please visit our website at www.capitalpridecenter.org and click on the events tab and select calendar of events. From there you can submit your own event. Or email rgalvan@capitalpridecenter.org. Events must be submitted for approval before the 5th of the month.

QueerEngineer Get to know us & how you can support LGBTQ* students in science, technology, engineering, & mathematics. /QueerEngineer

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A Pride Center of the Capital Region affiliate

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