CommUNITY Magazine (vol 2 iss 9) Transgender Veteran by Pride Center of the Capital Region

the 20th Anniversary of the

Beaujolais Nouveau Wine Celebration

Friday, November 21, 2014 6:30 pm Empire State Plaza Convention Center, Albany

In recognition of the AIDS Council’s 30th Anniversary, this year’s Beaujolais Nouveau will take you back to the 1980s - a decade of flashy fashion and big hair. We’ll pay tribute to this dynamic decade with more food, rockin’ tunes and dancing than ever before!

VIP Tickets $150 Standard Tickets $75 $85 at the door For tickets & more information, visit:

aidscouncil.org

Proceeds to benefit the AIDS Council of Northeastern New York

Event Sponsors

November 2014 Volume 2, Issue 9 CONTENTS FEATURES

Understanding Trans* Identities by Lyndon Cudlitz pg. 9

Transgender Veteran With the removal of “don’t ask don’t tell” gays and lesbians who wish to can openly serve in the military. One group in the LGBT community is still restricted from serving, the trans* population. by

Wendy Moore pg. 21

NEWS AND UPDATES

The Pride Center Welcomes MSW Development Intern Jonathan Richardson pg. 5 Healthcare Heads Up! by Oliver Peters pg. 5 Transgender Day of Remembrance pg. 10 The Weekly Events Calendar pg. 29

More news and updates online: www.capitalpridecenter.org

A Brief Timeline of Gays in the Military pg. 7

We Asked:

What’s It Like Being Young and Trans* ? pg. 11 Make it Up As We Move Along by Sativa Bigelow pg. 15

Inside C.D. Lang’s Seul pg. 28

COLUMNS

Vintage Pride: Who We Are! Ari Kane: An Unexamined Life Has Little Meaning by Chuck Zimmerman pg. 13 To Be a Blessing It’s a Blessing to be Bi-Gender by Sharon Stuart pg. 17 Trans View Intersex: Raising Awareness by Moonhawk Riverstone pg. 18 Money Matters The VA Loan Programby Thomas Walling pg. 24 Ask Mark Your Tax Questions by Mark D. Witecki pg. 25 Gay Man’s Musings Your Best Friend is a What? by Nyvek Moshier pg. 27 Here’s Guffman “ Tenessee Williams: MAd Pilgrimage of the Flesh” by Patrick White pg. 34 3 The Fashionable and the Frivolous The Indispensables by Alan Bennet Ilagan pg. 35 pgs. 29-3 by Out in the Garden Extending the Season Judith Fetterly pg. 36 Michael Cooks and You Can Too Countdown to Thanksgiving by Michael Meade pg. 37

Community & Special Event Calendars

Director’s Note by Curran Streett | From the Editor’s Desk by Michael Weidrich pg. 4

DIRECTOR’S NOTE

This November, we are dedicating our time and attention to members of the trans* community. The month has become a focal point for our community to honor and recognize the people in our community lost to transphobic hate. What began as a memorial and recognition of Rita Hester, a trans woman murdered because of who she is, in 1998 has grown to be an international day known as Trans Day of Remembrance. The sad reality remains that transgender and gender nonconforming people are dis-

C u rran Street t

proportionately targets of violent crime and their perpetrators are rarely convicted with severity proportional to their offence. The exact rates of violence directed towards the trans* community because the reporting at the local and federal levels do not record and respect trans experience. From the data that has been collected, we know that trans* people, and particularly trans people of color are at significant risk of violent attacks. Earlier this year, at a conference held by In Our Own Voices called Unity Through Diversity, the opening speaker identified herselfa trans woman of color- as an endangered species. This is because the average age a trans woman of color lives in our country is 36 years old. As a result of wide scale societal rejection, systemic and institutional racism, disproportionate access, violence is ravaging our community. November 20th is the day set

FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK

November 11th is Veteran’s Day. Both my father and his father served in the military. My grandfather, who was born in Canada, enlisted in the US Air Force during World War II and became a US citizen while serving in Belgium. My father also enlisted in the US Air Force and served during the Vietnam War. While he was stationed in the Philippine Islands, he met my mother and as they say, the rest is history. I have always admired my father and grandfather for their service to our country, both of whom voluntarily enlisted. And I salute all the LGBTQ people who have served in

aside to recognize the lives we have lost due to hate, and the entire week is designed to honor and highlight the lives, contributions and value of our trans* community members. But let us not reserve one day or one week to honor trans* lives. We all have a role in making our community more inclusive, safe and empowering to voices and experiences that have been historically marginalized. I hope you will join in support, in whatever way you can- speak up about injustices in our community, educate yourself and try every day to be an ally. As Maya Angelou said “ do your best, and when you know better, do better”. I look forward to a day where transphobic violence is not one of the main causes of death to members of our community. *learn more about the asterisk used in trans* on page 9

Mic hael Weid r ic h

their lifetime. About the time I would have enlisted, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell hit and made life very difficult for the members of our community who were serving. I applaud our veterans who served through those years and where able to see the day it was struck down. While the military wasn’t the avenue for me to answer the call to serve, I did find other avenues and channels. Becoming a gay rights activist and fighting for the empowerment of our community was one way. Getting involved in local politics, volunteering at not-forprofit organizations, marching,

walking, raising awareness, raising money for charity, donating my time, talent, and treasure, working with youth, working with seniors, feeding the homeless, and the list goes on and on. There are so many ways to answer the call to serve. So on Veteran’s Day, when you salute our service people, both living and passed, think about what YOU can do to serve your community and make the world a better place. See how you can get involved visit: www.capitalpridecenter.org/ get-involved/#volunteer

INTRODUCING MSW DEVELOPMENT INTERN JONATHAN RICHARDSON! If you have yet to meet him, there is a new addition to the Pride Center’s Development team! As of August, Jonathan Richardson has been serving the Pride Center as the MSW Development Intern. In this role, he will be assisting the development team with marketing, communications, and fundraising initiatives. Jonathan will also be assisting with program management tasks for the Center Support program. Jonathan volunteered at this past year’s PRIDE and is excited for the opportunity to join the team! Jonathan began fundraising professionally in May 2012 as an intern for the Association of Fundraising Professionals Genesee Valley Chapter. He fell in love with the profession and then moved on to be the Grant Writing Intern for Easter Seals New York. After successfully obtaining funding for a few proposals, he was then hired as the Development Associate for the capital region. He has

also worked in the Development Office of the Northeastern Association of the Blind at Albany and Northern Rivers Family Services. He has experience in communications, grant writing, special event planning, donor cultivation, board relations, stewardship, and other development components. He is an also an active member of the Association of Fundraising Professionals and was recently added to their board. In addition to his development background, Jonathan has advocated for the LGBTQ community for several years. In the fall of 2011, he assisted with community organizing efforts in Western New York for the Empire State Pride Agenda. Jonathan also coordinated the LGBTQI Awareness Month at the University of Rochester in his senior year. In this role, he planned events including a resource fair, educational film series, academic lectures, networking events, and an ally training workshop. Currently, Jonathan also works at Rockefeller College’s Office of Career Development as the Undergraduate Internship Coordinator. He edits resumes & cover letters, helps with graduation school planning, conducts career counseling, teaches professional workshops,

and performs other career services. Jonathan also just completed a quality management internship with the Division of Oversight and Monitoring at the New York State Justice Center this past summer. As a graduate student at University at Albany, Jonathan is enrolled in both the Master of Social Work program with a MACRO concentration and Master of Public Administration program with a focus in nonprofit management and social welfare policy. He received his Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Rochester, where majored in both Religion and Linguistics and minored in Women & Gender Studies. In his senior year, he conducted research on LGBTQ inclusion in religious communities and Queer Theology. Outside of his professional realm, Jonathan loves to be social, travel and stay active. He ran track for ten years and was a 3-year captain of the varsity track and field team at Rochester. He now coaches the sprinters and jumpers at Albany College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences.

HEALTHCARE HEADS-UP!

Open Enrollment is just around the corner Are you ready? November 15th is the first day of the Enter to win one of the great We enroll individuals and families in Open Enrollment period for individu- local monthly giveaways in our Medicaid, Medicaid Managed Care, als and families interested in applying Get Covered Challenge. Child Health Plus and Private Insurfor Private Health Insurance through ance Plans. the New York State of Health Market- Successfully referring 3 people to our place (NYSOH). For those of you who program is all you’ll need to do to Enter. Questions? Comments? Concerns? are wary of potential technical difficul- Help us get the word out about our free ties and long wait times you can get a Healthcare Enrollment Program. Help Want to schedule and appointment? jump on the crowd by pre-applying your friends, neighbors and loved ones Don’t hesitate to reach out (518) 462-6138 or with us! get enrolled in one of the many Affordhealthcare@capitalpridecenter.org able and Comprehensive Health InsurThere is NO Enrollment Deadline for ance Plans offered through the NYSOH anyone eligible for Medicaid (hurray!). Marketplace. And then help yourself to To a very healthy season! If you are working and have poor or a little (surprise!). Cheers! coverage that is too expensive you may Oliver Peters qualify for a better plan. You should It’s a great deal. Outreach Coordinator definitely check with us to see if you do!

HUDSON LGBTQA YOUTH GROUP Hudson Opera House | 327 Warren St, Hudson, New York 12534 | THIRD TUESDAY of every month | 4:30-6pm for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, asexual & allied youth ages 18 & under

A BRIEF TIMELINE OF GAYS IN THE MILITARY IN THE U.S 1777 – Baron von Steuben, who was widely rumored to be gay, helps train the U.S. revolutionary forces and later becomes President Washington’s chief of staff. 1778 -- Lieutenant Gotthold Frederick Enslin becomes the first soldier discharged from the military (at that time, the Continental Army) for sodomy. 1916 – The military explicitly prohibits homosexuality in the Articles of War of 1916. 1939 – The ban on homosexuality isn’t enforced until World War II. By the end of the war more than 4,000 of the 12 million men conscripted for the war are rejected for being gay. 1975 -- Leonard Matlovich of the Air Force comes out of the closet while serving. He’s discharged and subsequently becomes the first serviceman to fight the ban on gays. 1984 -- Perry Watkins is discharged from the military for being gay even though he checked the "yes" box in the category of "homosexual tendencies" in 1968 when he was drafted for the Vietnam War. He challenges the ban in court and wins and is reinstated. 1988 -- Leonard Matlovich dies. On his tombstone it reads: “When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.” 1992 -- Colonel Margarethe "Grethe" Cammermeyer is discharged from the National Guard for being a lesbian. She files a lawsuit and wins and is reinstated. That same year Bill Clinton campaigns for president with the promise to lift the ban on gays in the military. 1993 – Congress enacts the Military Personnel Eligibility Act of 1993, which later becomes known as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. 2009 – Serviceman Dan Choi comes out of the closet on the Rachel Maddow Show and is discharged from the military. He quickly becomes the face of DADT repeal and leads the charge. 2010 – Congress repeals Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. 2011 – The U.S. formerly ends Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and allows gays to serve openly in the military. reprinted from southfloridaygaynews.com

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer, NY www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie, NY www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady, NY www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany, NY www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Sholom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy, NY www.berithsholom.org(518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany, NY www.bethemethalbany.org (518)4369761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany, NY www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.easternparkway.weebly.com (518)374-4306 St. George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady.org

Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161 First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany, NY www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449 First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany, NY www.firstcongregationalalbany.org / (518)482-4580 First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany, NY www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany, NY www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady, NY www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, NY www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Methodist Church, East Greenbush http://www.fumceg.org/ First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy, NY www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY (518) 436-8812

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville. org (518)458-1562 Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html (518)434-8861 Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar , NY www.journeyucc.com Presbyterian New England Congregational Church, Saratoga http://pnecchurch.org/ Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratogaspringsumc.org / (518)584-3720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road Northville, NY Tel. 518-863-8086 or 518-434-8861 staelredpriory@aol.com St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany, NY www.standrewsalbany.org / (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany, NY www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY www.unitychurchinalbany.org (518)4533603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock, NY www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open! Affirming! Welcoming! Joyous!

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved.

We live in times more sensitive than ever to hatred based violence, especially since the events of September 11th. Yet even now, the deaths of those based on anti-transgender hatred or prejudice are largely ignored. Over the last decade, more than one person per month has died due to transgender-based hate or prejudice, regardless of any other factors in their lives. This trend shows no sign of abating.

might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance reminds non-transgender people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers. Day of Remembrance gives our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who’ve died by anti-transgender violence.

Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance selfidentified as transgender — that is, as a transsexual, crossdresser, or otherwise gender-variant — each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender people.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of our brothers and sisters who

Note: This information above was taken from http://www.rememberingourdead. org/day/what.html as reprinted on tdor. info/about-2/

Transgender Day of Remembrance in the Capital District

Thurs., November 20 | 6 - 9pm St. Rose Hubbard Interfaith Sanctuary | 959 Madison Ave, Albany

asked:

WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING YOUNG AND TRANS* ? For as long as I can remember I have always identified as a boy to myself, but to the outside world I was just a gender neutral kid going through a phase. It wasn't until three years ago that I let my inner self come out and started identify as male. I had a lot of problems during my coming out because of my romantic preference. People just didn't understand why I "wanted to be a boy" if I wanted to date boys. In their opinion it would be "easier" to identify as my assigned sex. I now have to constantly prove myself to be accepted by the gay community, which can be difficult for any trans* or gender non-conforming person. I think all schools should have anti-discrimination and bullying rules in the code of conduct directed specially at transgender and gender non-conforming students. Gender neutral bathrooms would also be helpful because many trans* students are afraid to use either bathroom and that really only leaves the nurseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bathroom or waiting to get home. I believe that transgender and gender non-conforming youth should be able to use their preferred names and pronouns at all costs.â&#x20AC;? Cody, Age 16

I am a transmasculine person. To me being transmasculine means that my masculinity is a large part of my trans* identity because as someone who was assigned female at birth and who lived as female for over 15 years the masculine aspect of my gender identity, expression, and new perspective and way of living in this society is the key part of what makes me trans*. I came out quietly to family and some friends as questioning my gender when I was 15. I felt somewhat held back in school, with heteronormativity and cisnormativity being heavily enforced through the tradition of the school and the perspectives of many of the students and teachers there so I left and went to a different school. At school I did not ask or try to use changing rooms or bathrooms dedicated for men, opting instead to get changed when no one else was in the locker room, and I rarely went to the bathroom at school. However I was asked to leave the school. I was given an ultimatum, I could go back into the closet by using "female" pronouns and ceasing to talk about trans* issues on the whole whether in school or in the community as they relate to the school, or I could leave. I decided to leave which was traumatic for me. I had been trying to cope with transitioning, junior year, anxiety attacks, applying to colleges, romantic and platonic relationships, and a job, all while being persecuted and oppressed by an institution that I'd trusted to take care of me. AJ, Age 17 For me being transgender* isn't easy. I live in a house with an ultracatholic father and a mother who was constantly creating havoc over my emotional health, and my self-image. It was hard to find people who had any sort of compassion for my situation. Even fewer people believe the lack of trans* rights is an issue at all. Without my one and only supporter I probably wouldn't be here. I have a hard time getting up in the morning and years of emotional abuse from past friends and partners has finally taken its toll. Currently a semi closeted trans* persons talking to my family could possibly land me in a homeless shelter. So trans* folks hug your supporters, some of us have none. Trans* supporters hug your trans folks, the road for all of us is a difficult one. Anonymous, Age 19

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V I N TA GE PR ID E: W h o W e Are !

inte rvie we d b y

Chuck Z imme rm an

Ari Kane : An Unexamined Life Has Little Meaning The initial 15 minutes of my interview with Ari Kane became a temporarily daunting experience. Vacillating among geographic locations that included and indulged New York City and Boston, combined with intriguing philosophic and emotional musings and numerous personal insights spanning a decade or two… or three, Ari, I sensed, had possibly too much to relate to me for the interview. I halted our conversation and asked….”What do you really wish to convey”? In response, Ari Kane’s fascinating personal history of five plus decades of gender exploration and diversity emerged. Ari sees in decades. He discussed and described the earlier ones in his life during a time when cross-dressing, gender classification, TV [TransVestite interests] and subtle nuances of gender diversities in society was unknown or misunderstood and certainly taboo. The discovery of a book on cross-dressing helped initiate Ari Kane’s personal journey. He eventually shared a special relationship with a friend living in Boston that provided him the opportunity to further explore gender identification through cross-dressing. Other individuals with similar quests and needs came into Ari’s life as time and decades progressed. “Who are we?”, “What needs to be done?” and “What can we do?” were a few of the gender issues needing definition and exploration.The interview occasionally took diverging but related paths. The topic of “Fantasia Fair” was an enlightening one.

Ari Kane is one of the founders of this Provincetown, MA cross-dressers’ support group, initiated in 1975. A P-town pamphlet titled LIP [Life in Provincetown, issue Oct. 17, 2002] features Ari Kane as youthful, attractive cross-dresser with the title “Ariadne Kane: Fantasia Fair Original” below the photo. Within LIP’s covers there exists a three page interview between the publisher and Ariadne that discusses the founding of the fair and its gradual to present development [Fantasia Fair “provides the focus on the physical detail of one’s body, clothing……..but it goes way beyond that now”……to” introduce the crossdresser to services they would need if they were going to go in a transition mode”, and a wealth of more.]

“Since 1972 Ari Kane has been working to improve the lives of transgendered people.” Ari Kane’s emerging national expertise regarding gender identification was further acknowledged when he was asked to consult with actress Vanessa Redgrave who would star with Martin Balsam in the 1986 TV movie “Second Serve”. This production was to be the fact-based story of Renee Richards, transsexual tennis pro, and Ari’s input regarding representing the male side of Richards for the movie was requested. Before this, in 1975, Ari Kane founded

the Outreach Institute of Gender studies as a means of informing and educating mental health professionals as well as the general public regarding gender identification. Numerous radio and television show appearances, including those with Phil Donahue and David Suskind, are additional testaments to Ari’s work. Through an EISGD program, [Educational Institute for Sex and Gender Diversity] Ari Kane has recently conducted workshops on “The Maturing Gay Man” dealing with adjustments and adaptation to inevitable changes related to aging. Another brief Kane biography which can readily be located on the internet states: “Since 1972 Ari Kane has been working to improve the lives of transgendered people.” I asked Ari how the Pride Center of the Capital District could aid in the understanding of gender diversity. “Offering as many interactive programs as possible which deal with gender identity” was his immediate response. Educating youth to the pitfalls of role and gender exploration and diversity was another. Ari Kane suggests that there is a place for us all in this universe, one which we should explore. Avoid the pitfall of having society determine who you are or can become. Remember that gender constraints can often lead to negative consequences [masochistic and or sadistic behavior]. And, ultimately, “the unexplored life is not worth living.” Socrates.

VINTAGE PRIDE NOVEMBER POTLUCK: HONORING OUR LGBTQ VETERANS Join us as we hear from veterans in our community about their service, and to take time to say THANK YOU for their courage. SUNDAY, November 16, 1-3PM FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, 362 STATE ST. ALBANY, NY Vintage Pride is a casual social opportunity for LGBTQ people 55 and older. Bring a dish to share, enjoy drinks & dessert provided by the Pride Center!

If we don’t elect a woman now, it may be another 5, 10 or 14 years before there’s another opportunity! It’s time to bring balance back to the State Supreme Court. It’s been 14 years since a woman has been elected to serve us at the Court’s trial level. Lisa Fisher is an experienced attorney who has spent over 20 years practicing in the Federal courts as well as in all levels of New York’s courts from Family to Supreme and from Village to Town. • Ran a general law practice for 17 years handling an array of civil litigation. • Serves as an Ulster County Assistant Public Defender in the Family Court Division where she is a member of the Family Treatment Court team. • Served as staff attorney for the Ulster Department of Social Services, and Court attorney for Hon. Edward Feeney in Kingston City Court. • Fluent in Spanish, Fisher served as the Assigned Counsel for Spanish speaking litigants from 2007 to 2011. • In 2012, she served on the Ulster County Interagency Council on Domestic Violence. • In 2013, Fisher was nominated for NYS Defender’s Association’s Public Defender of the Year.

“I am running for Supreme Court to bring my real-world experience representing clients as a private attorney and a public defender to the bench. I understand how litigants can find the justice system intimidating. If elected, I will work hard to insure everyone before the court is treated fairly and with respect.”

www.lisaforsupreme.com Vote Lisa Fisher for Supreme Court Tuesday, November 4, 2014 • Polls Open 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. Paid for by Lisa Fisher for Supreme Court.

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For the pastTrauma three&years, Healing Abuse I have worked with many male &toAnxiety female transDepression gender clients atRelationship Choices Counseling and Violence Consulting, both individually and as a Addictions & Recovery group therapist. I hoices facilitate two therapeuC With HIV & Illness tic groups; oneLiving called “Women in Transition” which Body occurs monthly, the other Image & Eatingand Disorders a more focused therapeutic group which Homestudies & Adoption Services generally occurs twice a year for 8 sessions, with 6 to 8 members committed to the entire 8 week cycle. Many trans clients find themselves isolated in & their transition Counseling Consulting and it helps to know that others are going 518-438-2222 through a similar experience. Fax 438-7777I find groups are an exceptionally important tool to help Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second Albany, NY 12203 build523the understanding that floor) all ·pathways info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com of transition are different. People can also connect on the similarities of the trans experience when it comes to dealing with their families, jobs, and society. Clients also 3.75 “ x 5” enjoy groups because they are a great opportunity to learn tips on where to get electrolysis, buy wigs, buy shoes, or learn about doctors in the area, and much more.

Many of Healing these women uncomfortable Trauma &are Abuse approaching beauty& Anxiety experts for advice, Depression so I try to Relationship create an opportunity for trans Violence women to learn from professionals in a Addictions Recovery hoices safe space. Twice a &year, I offer transitionC With HIV & Illness ing male Living to female transgender clients a seminarBody on Image personal cosmetics. & Eating DisordersWe sought the guidance of a& local beauty expert, Lily Homestudies Adoption Services Miller, of Shapes and Colours, a top talent in aesthetics, trends, hairstyles and application of make-up. She began by asking the women, “What do you&struggle Counseling Consultingwith most Counseling & Consulting in your appearance?” Many who are tranTraditional & Holistic Psychotherapies 518-438-2222 518-438-2222 Healing & Growth sitioning, especially those later in life, who Fax 438-7777 Fax 438-7777 find Manyfortrans clients were unable to halt the effects of hormones themselves isolated 523 Western puberty, Avenue, Suite 2A floor) · Albany, NY 12203 523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) ·in Albany, NY 12203 during are(second concerned with their info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com info@choicesconsulting.com their transition· www.choicesconsulting.com and it ultra masculine features such as facial hair, helps to know that others bone structure, and hair styles. Ms. Miller addressed 5 o’clock shadow by revisiting the are going through a wheel. She advised the group memexperience. 3.75 “ x 5” color 3.75 “ x similar 5” bers that by contrasting the often dark color hoices of facial hair with an opposite shade (likely & Traditional & 518-438-2222 Holistic Psychotherapies an orange toned base) and to then apply Fax 438-7777 for Healing & Growth Once a trans woman decides to identify foundation over top. She addressed jaw publically as a woman they must ask them- line concerns by sharing toner and shading selves: what kind of a woman do they want techniques. Ms. Miller gave a thorough tuto be? How will they appear to others? If torial on the basics of make-up application there hair does not grow long, or if they and revealed modern trends while focusare balding, what hair color wig will they ing on concerns specific to male to female choose? Hair styles and wearing make-up transgender people. hoices are two areas in our society that can appear & to look the most different between men and 518-438-2222 Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies 438-7777 women. Hair styleFax and make-up choices, as for Growth Many ofHealing these&women are well as the kinds of clothing one wears, can uncomfortable determine how one looks and feels as they approaching beauty emerge in our culture as a woman. passing. Passing Healing has aTrauma different mean& Abuse ing for everyone; some would like to pass Depression & Anxiety completely withoutRelationship ever being questioned, Violence while others don’t mind other people conAddictions & Recovery hoices templating their gender identity. For other C HIV & Illness trans individuals,Living they With identify as being a women, but may identify need to Bodynot Image & Eatingthe Disorders appear feminine. However the clientServices identiHomestudies & Adoption fies, it is their right, and my job is to follow their lead and learn how to help them.

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Once a trans woman decides to identify publically as a woman they must ask themselves: What kind of a woman do they want to be? How will theyC appear to others? hoices Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Relationship & Parenting Issues Healing Trauma & Abuse Depression & Anxiety

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Usually, most cisgender women learn these skills from their mothers, sisters, or girlfriends. For many, this is a rite of passage for a female. By the time most cisgender women are 30 or 40 years old, they have had experience dressing up and are conscious of the impressions they want to make. A lot of these behaviors are learned throughout a woman’s life and come naturally by identifying with other women. Many trans women want to learn more about ways of looking and passing as a woman, since they have been forced to identify as male for the majority of their life. For trans women, these are new experiences, and are fraught with fears and concerns. There is often a fear of not appearing feminine enough in public or the fear of other’s judging them. Passing is often a safety concern since trans women are sometimes targeted and become victims of violent crimes. Appearances can be a major concern when deciding to transition for these reasons.

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TO BE A BLESSING

Sharon Stuart

It’s A Blessing to Be Bi-gender This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions.

The term bi-gender has never been in common usage within or without the greater transgender population. However, I believe it is the term that best describes where I happen to be on the gender identity continuum. For me, being bi-gender is very similar to being bi-lingual – that is to say, speaking two languages with equal facility. One can also understand bi-gender as being similar to the experience of those whose backgrounds are bi-ethnic, or bi-racial – or, for example, growing up with a Roman Catholic mother and a Jewish father as parents. As an adult, beginning in the 1960s, I have expressed both masculine and feminine identities alternately, depending on the circumstances and demands of life from day to day. Either as a woman, or as a man, I am the person at my core, but use two forms of gender expression alternatively to interact with the world. While affirming both a masculine and feminine identity, I am not leading a double life. There are friends who know me as both Tom and Sharon; others are acquainted only with Tom or Sharon. Biologically, I am a male. Over the years, I’ve enjoyed a successful and productive life as a man, if only by my own standards. As Tom, I’ve been married more than 50 years to a wonderful partner. Together, we have raised three daughters and now enjoy an extended family of five grandchildren, two boys and three girls.

While affirming both a masculine and feminine identity, I am not leading a double life. When we married in 1964, I knew of my difference, but there was no vocabulary, no frame of reference or source

of support to help me share that difference with my life partner. I thought perhaps the desire to express femininity would disappear once I was married. It did not. Five years into our marriage I finally shared my gender identity difference with my partner. Over the years and decades she has stood by me and supported me with the understanding that I will be Tom for my family and for her. I have always honored that request. She does spend time with me in our home when I am Sharon. Our children know of Sharon and one daughter has met Sharon. They are all accepting and supportive in their own ways.

As an adult, I have expressed both masculine and feminine identities alternately, depending on the circumstances and demands of life from day to day. Professionally, as a man, I have worked as a lawyer, a librarian, and as a print journalist. I am a veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps from the Vietnam War era, having served for about eight years on active duty and as the commanding officer of a reserve unit. As a woman named Sharon, I became a first generation trans-activist in the mid-1960s when I first met Virginia Prince, a founder of the transgender community in Los Angeles, California. Since then, my time as Sharon has largely been experienced within the social activist and civil rights realm. As Sharon, I participated in many early gatherings of transgender people in the 1970s and was a member and leader in such organizations as Tri-Ess, the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE), and the Transgender Law Conference.

Either as a woman, or as a man, I am the person at my core, but use two forms of gender expression alternatively to interact with the world.

In the late 1970s, I once lived and func I was a co-founding director of the Transgender Law Conference in the early 1990s. As a transgender lawyer, I served as Military Law Project Director and as the lead drafter of the International Bill of Gender Rights, a seminal statement of human rights for transgender people. tioned entirely as a woman for about six months. During that time I considered changing my sex from male to female via surgery or hormones. However, I decided not to pursue that course, preferring to remain with my wife and children as a father and husband. In the 1970s, and again in the 1990s, I was fired from positions for reasons directly linked to my transgender/bi-gender status. While both experiences were troubling and disappointing, I survived and found new opportunities for employment and self-expression, both as Tom and as Sharon. Now nearly 74-years old, I remain active in the transgender community and in the larger LGBT community. I am active in the inclusive church movement as a member of a More Light Presbyterian Church in rural central New York where we have resided for the past 30 years. It has been a blessing, for me at least, to be bi-gender.

Tom a.k.a. Sharon teaches a continuing

adult learning course titled “The Biological, Social & Cultural Construction and Expression of Gender Identity” and publishes local history columns in two weekly newspapers.

T R A N S V I E W #12 6 ©

Intersex: Raising Awareness

On October 26th some folks recognize Intersex Awareness Day, to bring attention to the myriad challenges that intersex people face. October 26, 1996 was the first public demonstration in Boston, MA by intersex activists (carrying signs “Hermaphrodites With Attitude”) with allies from Transexual Menace where the American Academy of Pediatrics was holding their annual conference. This demonstration was the topic of a law review article I wrote in 2005 and published in the Cardozo Journal of Law and Gender’s special issue on intersex that resulted from an international symposium in February. From the outset, intersex people have been associated with transgender people and there is incredible misinformation, conflation of issues and all the usual hooha associated with two marginalized groups whose bodies and minds have been misappropriated and medicalized for generations by the medical and psychiatric establishment. I hope in the few words I have here to shed a bit of light on intersex and on our duty as human beings to be allies to their struggle for self determination, to have medical interventions happen only through informed consent, by choice, and for intersex people to have a both diverse public movement and for some intersex people to have privacy and not be activists. Notice, I said “as human beings to be allies”, remember it is still unsettled and very controversial for LGBT organizations to claim the “I”. Many do to be inclusive, but [that] can be an empty inclusion, when they have not done their deep due diligence of true inclusion in terms of training, developing awareness and cultural competence among staff, administrators and boards. While I hear from intersex people that inclusion with LGBT orgs is good, I hear from others that it continues the misunderstanding and conflation with transgender that comes from lack of education and cultural competence and sensitivity to intersex experience and lives. About 10 years after that first demonstration, some controversial changes began to happen that split intersex activists and intersex professionals, and 8 years after that the controversy has not been

Moonhawk RiverStone

resolved. To understand intersex, one must understand that not all intersex conditions require medical treatment. They are just differences of sex development or sex differentiation that happen to human beings. Some intersex conditions do require various kinds of medical treatment.

Intersex people have been associated with transgender people and there is incredible misinformation, and all the usual hooha associated with two marginalized groups whose have been misappropriated and medicalized for generations by the establishment. In 1996 then, the main change that occurs is some folks decided to invent a new name, Disorders of Sex Development (DSD), as an umbrella name under which to house all intersex conditions. At a time where intersex people were struggling for self determination and struggling to have access to mainstream medical decision makers, this change deeply divided them, and among intersex people caused its own pain and suffering and retraumatization. Some thought it would help get them to the table to created life saving medical policy changes, others thought it further deeply pathologized a normal human variance and would just allow medicine to “reinstituitionalize” (credit: Morgan Holmes, Tiger Devore, Georgiann Davis) medical control over intersex bodies. The main struggle for intersex activists has been to stop all unnecessary surgeries on infants and young children, reassigning them male or female (mostly female) until the child can give informed consent. So there is deep division as to how DSD will help bring intersex activists closer to this goal remains to today. The first organization to address the needs of intersex people was the Intersex Society of North American (ISNA) founded in 1993. While ISNA is no longer functioning as an organization the entire contents of their website is maintained at their web url (www.isna.org), so valuable to raising awareness. These days, a new organization called Advocates for Informed Choice

(AIC) (www.aiclegal.org) was formed in 2006, and it’s primary focus has been legal advocacy and impact litigation targeting the civil rights of children born with intersex conditions. Just recently, it has undergone some expansion and is providing services to youth such as a retreat. I would suggest those interested readers go to both websites and read all the material available there. Intersex and transgender, just a note. Just like anyone can have brown, or blue, or green eyes, so, too, can, intersex people be transgender or not or transgender people can have an intersex condition or not. But transgender does not = intersex; transgender is not a kind of intersex condition. Sometimes intersex people undergo a gender transition to recover from or reconstruct their bodies post an unwanted, incorrect surgery done in infancy. Sometimes, intersex people realized they are transgender and decide to transition just as any transgender person might. This November one of the pioneers in building intersex awareness, my dear friend, Mani Bruce Mitchell, will be visiting me mid month. Mani has been out as an intersex person since 1996 when they went to the first-ever retreat for intersex people facilitated by ISNA. Mani is from New Zealand, a counsellor, social worker and has traveled all over the world these past 18 years raising awareness, providing education, facilitating conversations across identities and disciplines, and giving special attention to intersex youth in the hopes that they create healthier, more whole lives this generation than generations past. Mani was involved in the research and production of 2012 award winning documentary film, Intersexion, where they were also featured as the integral link to the film’s narrative. Mani may have an opportunity to give a public talk while here. Stay tuned...and don’t miss it.... talk about once in a lifetime opportunities to meet a wonderful, brilliant, humble, compassionate being whose presence in the world really makes a positive difference each and every day! Intersex Awareness day may have gone by, but raising intersex awareness is an every day opportunity! Until next time....T Rev. Moonhawk River Stone of Riverstone Consulting is an Interfaith Minister, transgender activist, writer, educator, consultant, keynote speaker and psychotherapist in private practice for over 25 years with experience and extensive expertise in all aspects of transgender policy and health.

Join us for a unique opportunity! “Speaking the Unspeakable: My intersex journey from remote rural New Zealand to a world stage, creating a world of change for intersex people”

When: Tuesday, November 18, 2014 Time: 7:00PM Location: The College of Saint Rose Lally School of Education- Touhey Forum

1009 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY 12203 RSVP to lcudlitz@capitalpridecenter.org by November 14th. Meet Mani Bruce Mitchell: Mani is Executive Director of Intersex Trust Aotearoa New Zealand. Mani was the first “out” intersex person in New Zealand in 1996. Since that time, they have been a pioneer in developing helping to raise awareness of intersex people and their challenges and issues. Recently, Mani was involved in the research and production of 2012 award winning documentary film, Intersexion, where they were also featured as the integral link to the film’s narrative. This will be an enlightening, engaging presentation suited for providers, professionals, students, community members and anyone interested in deepening their understanding of intersex people. We look forward to joining you for a presentation and dialogue to be followed by refreshments.

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TRANSGENDER VETERAN by Wendy Moore November is an important month for veterans of the United States Armed services. The nation observes Veteran’s Day on November 11th, a nod to the sacrifices of millions of people who have served under the colors. Lately, with the removal of “don’t ask don’t tell” gays and lesbians who wish to can openly serve in the military. One group in the LGBT community is still restricted from serving, the trans* population. Other NATO allies allow trans* members to openly serve, but the United States continues to drag its boots. There is a call for the usual studies about the possibility of service for the trans community, but not actual action. With a distinct probability of a more conservative presidential administration starting in 2017, these important rights must be obtained now.

after they happened. It was amazing that queers fought the cops, and even then contemporary reportage the role of drag queens and trans people was diminished. But the Marines made me feel like a “real man” even while I was “read” as gay by my contemporaries. Although I knew that I was different and not gay, I was not straight. I left the Marines, returned to the civilian world, where I really didn’t yet fit in. Jump forward 38 years. I was blind in one eye and my mother had just died. A long look at my life made me realize that something was hidden and missing. That thing was the real me. On July 4, 2008 I decided that I would irrevocably come out as transgender. With that decision, I found tremendous support from my family and in the last place I expected it, the Veteran’s Administration. They have been wonderfully supportive, with hormone replacement therapy, psychological counseling, and even allowing me to form a transgender veteran’s support group which met at the Albany VA before my personal life overcame the meetings. So where are the shortcomings? There is still no GENDA in New York State, and across America, the right to freely rent a property, public accommodation, education and safety are still not given to transgender people. Even our largest gay civil rights organizations act as if the trans* community is an embarrassment, something to be belatedly apologized to and then swept back under the rug.

Why would anyone enter the military? To serve and to be part of something larger than oneself are some examples. I entered the military for these motivations, as well as the important goal of being “authentic”. If you question your gender, serving can be a quick ticket to the authentic male self, I was a questioning youth in a time when there was little light shed on the trans* community, much less than on the rarely reported on gay world. I entered the Marine Corps six months before Stonewall, and read of the riots in the Village Voice and the Daily News weeks

Fortunately, the Pride Center places the trans* community in the middle of its activities and support, with meetings, groups and counseling, and trainings for companies and individuals. Born and educated in Albany, Wendy has worked for the past four years in various groups as a genderqueer activist and still lives in Albany. They are the proud father of a supportive and loving daughter, Alexandra.

DOD regulations currently bar transgender service members from serving in the U.S. military. Specifically, DOD Instruction 6130.03 lists change of sex and hermaphroditism as medically disqualifying factors. The same regulation specifies "psychosexual" conditions such as "transsexualism" or "transvestism" as disqualifying mental conditions that preclude individuals meeting these criteria from serving in the military. Conduct regulations can also affect transgender service members, such as prohibitions against cross-dressing. Transgender individuals, including veterans, report high rates of workplace discrimination. Over 90% of the transgender population report experiences of harassment, mistreatment or discrimination at work or took actions such as hiding their identities to avoid it. 26% of transgender veterans have experienced physical assault and 16% have been raped. Of transgender individuals who have experienced sexual assault, 64% have attempted suicide. Almost one-third of transgender veterans believe they were not hired for a job specifically because they were transgender; almost 40% of transgender veterans are working for less than minimum wage. 21% of transgender veterans have been homeless at some point in their lives. Transgender veterans experience a host of mental health issues, and 40% have attempted suicide compared to 1.6% of the general population. Transgender veterans are reluctant to seek healthcare, and many report negative experiences with healthcare institutions. 24% of transgender veterans report being refused medical treatment for being transgender, and 43% say they have postponed or neglected to seek medical care when they were sick for fear of discrimination or maltreatment. While the VHA has made significant progress in the availability of medical care to transgender veterans, (including hormonal therapy, mental health care, preoperative evaluation and medically necessary post-operative and long-term care following sex reassignment surgery), the VHA still will not perform or pay for sex reassignment surgery. compiled for and reported in the Service Women’s Action Network’s 2011 Fact Sheet After Repeal: LGBT Sservice Members and Verterna The Facts

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JOIN US FOR THE NOVEMBER LGBTQ AND STRAIGHT-ALLIED PROFESSIONALS NETWORKING EVENT!

MARATTO’S TUNNEL LOUNGE | WEDS. NOVEMBER 12th This month’s event will take place at Schenectady’s chic Marotta’sTunnel Lounge Join us for great food, good company and one of the best opportuinites to make and build business connections in the Lesbain, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Allied community.

Wednesday, November 12th | 6-8pm Marotta’s Tunnel Lounge 611 Union St, Schenectady 12305| $10 suggested donation Support the Pride Center Business Alliance or become a member: www.capitalpridecenter.org/resources/business-alliance

MONEY MATTERS

Thomas J. Walling CFP®

The VA Loan Program If you or your spouse served a predetermined time on Active Duty or was a Reservist or National Guard, you may be eligible for a VA home loan. For four years, I had to hide who I was and consistently lie about my life. I lived in the fear of being caught as gay. Off time I would travel as far as possible from anyone from work in order to meet other gays. This led to some fabulous times, but there was always the constant anxiety about my being less than honorably discharged or becoming the recipient of a blanket party by my peers if the truth came out. This describes the years I spent in the US Army. Most would say the most unrattling thing should have been potentially being killed or killing millions of people with nuclear missiles, but surprisingly for me, this was heavily overshadowed by the gay thing. Things have certainly changed since the 1980’s. Today’s Armed services now welcome all. Last June there were rainbow flags all over the VA hospital celebrating Gay Pride. At the booth next door to mine at the Capital PRIDE festival was the VA doing LGBT outreach. This month, the VA home loan program will be explored. If you or your spouse served a predetermined time on Active Duty or was a Reservist or National Guard, you may be eligible for a VA home loan. The loan can be used for new construction, an existing home, or as a refinance of a current loan for your primary residence.

What the VA does is guarantee the loan payment to the bank in the case of a default. The amount can be up to $417,000, but varies by county. This does not mean that if someone makes $20,000 per year, they should own a $417,000 house. The loan is not from the VA. The loan is from a bank that participates in this program. Minimal requirements need to be met with the bank regarding credit, income, debt ratios, etc.

Get started looking at all the benefits you may be missing due to feeling uncomfortable about lying your way through your years in the service In most cases, if a home is worth the amount you are paying, there is no down payment needed. This is a very big deal. In a traditional mortgage, not only are there down payment requirements, but in cases where more than 80% of the home’s value is being collateralized, Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI) is required. Rates for this insurance vary between .3% and 1.15% per year based on the loan amount. The VA loan does not require PMI, potentially putting quite a few extra dollars into your cash flow. Closing costs associated with the

mortgaging of a home can be staggering. The VA loan program puts limits on certain closing costs and in most cases, this and the one time VA fee can be rolled into your mortgage payment. Is your credit score below the guidelines for getting the best rates on your traditional mortgage? The VA loan program has no minimum credit score and the VA makes banks look at the entire financial situation before making a decision. With the VA guarantee on these loans, banks can be more lenient. Once approved, you will get the same interest rate as someone with a higher or lower credit score. The VA loan program is not the only benefit for having served your country. Other benefits include health and life insurance, education benefits, etc. Spousal benefits now apply to opposite and same sex marriages. To get started looking at all the benefits you may be missing due to feeling uncomfortable about lying your way through your years in the service, visit www.va.gov. Don’t worry…they are ok with the gay thing now. Thomas J. Walling CFP® is an Investment Advisor Representative of and offers securities and investment advice through Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC. (Member FINRA/ SIPC) and a Registered Investment Advisor. Branch office:235 Lark St. #43 Albany, NY 12210. He is also past presenter at the Pride Center on financial affairs affecting the LGBT community as well as for SAGE of NYC. Tom Is past presidents of the board of directors of The Albany Damien Center, Inc. as well as Our Brothers’ Keepers Foundation. Tom can be reached at 518.878.1294 or Thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com

Your Point of Entry for Information, Referral and Assistance to Long Term Care Services Montgomery County Office for Aging, Inc. & Montgomery County Department of Social Services

1-888-460-9624 518-843-2300 518-853-5088

ASK MARK YOUR TAX QUESTIONS

Welcome to the DEAR MARK column where you can ask a tax question. Of course some questions might warrant answers that cannot be answered to due to the limited space in this column or warrant more facts due to specific circumstances of the taxpayer. =============================

Mark D, I purchased a large piece of equipment in 2013 but I am looking at my 2013 tax return and I don’t see it on the return anywhere. I called my preparer but she won’t return my calls. What should I do? Signed, Not Happy Dear Not Happy, Try calling her again and send her a letter certified mail, return receipt requested. If indeed there are items not taken on the original return, an amended return can be prepared. I noticed the postmark on your envelope shows it was mailed from NY State, but that does not mean you live in New York State. Federal as well as state tax returns can also be amended as long as the statute of limitations has not expired. 2013 is within the statutes. Please give me a call and set up an appointment if you cannot get a satisfactory result with your preparer. ============================= Mister Witecki, I own a small business and two years ago I had to put in special handicap ramps and make other adjustments to my property. Now I hear that I could have claimed some special deduction. I did my taxes on **** (name omitted here) and I was not aware of anything special. What now? VTY, Fuming Dear Fuming, There are special tax credits and write-offs for such expenses. The explanation would take more space than this column allows. Please contact me for an appointment to discuss. =============================

Mr. Mark Witecki CPA, I set up an LLC for a piece of rental property I bought. I own it all myself. I paid for the expenses to set it up. Does the LLC mean I do a separate tax return? Wondering. Dear Wondering, If you are not a real estate professional, and the property is not classified as a passive investment, then you would file a Schedule E with your 1040. If the LLC is in New York State (you don’t say where the LLC is located or if you are a resident of New York State, you would also file an annual LLC fee form. If you are a resident of another state or if the LLC is located in another state, you may have til file forms there as well. ============================ (Readers: When sending in questions please identify what state or states you are in to better answer your questions). ============================= Hello, I want to start a plumbing business but I am not licensed yet. Any recommendations? Dear Hello, Yes. Get licensed first. ============================= Dear Mark D Witecki, I bought equipment online for my business and did not pay sales tax on it. I did this last month. Do I owe sales tax on it in New York. If so, how do I pay it? I am a sole proprietor. Not Sure Dear Not Sure, When you file your 2014 tax return you will add the amount of sales tax that is due to your income tax liability. There is a line on the New York State tax forms for that. =============================

Mr. Mark, My next door neighbor has a small contracting business and he brags he pays no taxes on it. How can this be? Yours Truly, Puzzled Dear Puzzled, If that is the case, your neighbor is engaging in tax fraud. ============================= MDW, I purchased a set of 4 paintings years ago for $ 12,200. They have become valuable and I want to sell one of them. I can get $ 12.000 for the one I want to sell. How do I figure what part of the $ 12,200 should be allocated to the one painting I want to sell? Signed, Confused Dear Confused, You need to have an appraisal done to determine the relative values of the paintings. You would take the percentage of the appraised price of the one painting you want to sell divided by the total appraised prices of all 4 paintings, and use that percentage of the original price of the paintings to determine your gain. Also remember the art appears to be a collectible, which for Federal tax purposes is taxed at a special rate. =============================

Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304. Mark D. Witecki specializes in small businesses and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y. Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™ practitioner, Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted to practice before the United States Tax Court. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certifica-

tion requirements. Mark’s office is located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady, New York =============================

Mark D. Witecki

Certified Public Accountant Certified Financial Planner™ Certified Fraud Examiner Tax Preparation 3701 State Street, Schenectady, NY 12304 (518) 463-4000 f: (518) 346-5196 Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the Certified Marks CFP (c). Certified Financial Planner ™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S. which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP’s initial and ongoing certification requirements

=============================

Mary Anderson invented the windshield wiper. Stephanie Kwolek invented Kevlar®. Margaret Knight invented the grocery bag.

(Leave it to the ladies to come up with great ideas.) If you’re looking for big ideas to power the growth of your company, we’d like to help you. We’re a women-owned business with a team of professionals who not only know how to think, but also make things happen. Communications. Leadership programs. New product development. Public relations. Sponsorships. Customer relations. The list goes on. Call Wanda Zygmuntowicz at 716-983-4239. She’s our President, and she just loves a challenge. www.customericity.com

Thomas J. Walling, CFP®

INVESTMENT ADVISER REPRESENTATIVE

NY Insurance License #LA910069 235 Lark St., Suite 43 Albany, NY 12210 Direct: 518.878.1294 thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC

GAY MAN’S MUSINGS

Nyvek Moshier

Your Best Friend Is A What?

Now I would be historically accurate in saying that Lesbians and Gay men have taken different approaches to our fight for equality over the years. When I look back at documentaries, the Lesbians often seem to have complained that the Gay men were too much about partying while the Gay men complained that the Lesbians were too serious and had no idea how to enjoy life. One woman in a documentary went so far as to suggest that the only thing we seem to have in common is the fact that we are attracted to our same gender. As a Gay man I do not see truth in the assumption that, beyond being attracted to our same gender, I have nothing in common with Lesbians. To be honest, with there being no danger of mixed signals of attraction, I have found that some of my deepest emotional relationships have been with my Lesbian sisters. In fact, my best friend of eight years is a Lesbian. Dee and I met shortly after I entered college for the first time. We were both fairly new to being out of the closet and discovering what it meant to be part of this amazingly diverse and beautiful community. She was the shy hippy girl and I was the skinny boy with pink bangs who loved skinny jeans and his glitter belt. Both of us were desperately trying to find our place in this world and discover what exactly it meant to each of us to be a Gay man and Lesbian. We bonded instantly and even once promised each other that, if we were both single by the time we were in our 30s, we would marry each other for the benefits and companionship. Mind you, this was during a time when neither of us thought we would ever see marriage equality in our lifetime. It’s strange to think that that was only eight years ago. So here Dee and I are today. She just turned 30 and I am about to turn 29. Much has changed for us both, but our bond is stronger than ever. Even as we find ourselves both engaged and wanting very different futures, we do not doubt that our bond will one day find us wrinkled, gray and in rockers on a front porch bitching about the youngsters and how they lack any appreciation for what they have.

Dee and I found each other in a world where our bond kept us strong as we discovered ourselves and had very little interaction with other LGBTQ people. Then, we discovered the community. When I entered the Gay male world I was thrown off to find out that the relationship I had with Dee was an oddity in the community. Now it is true that many Gay men and Lesbians work together each day and socialize in public all the time, but I have yet to meet another Gay man in my age group or older who has ever said that his best friend, his emotional soul-mate, is a Lesbian. If anything, I often get this puzzled looks when I tell other Gay men that my best friend is a Lesbian. I have actually been told that we are far too different of creatures for such a close bond to exist and last the test of time. Many of the Gay men I know have best friends who are other gay men or straight women. I have even found that many will have a straight male best friend before a Lesbian best friend.

Why does a group who takes pride in defying set roles partake in stereotypes that divide us along gender lines? I have often attributed this attitude that Dee and I have experienced concerning our friendship to the numerous stereotypes we face, even in our community. As a Lesbian she is supposed to be serious and mature, with her outlet for fun being poetry nights and discussions on feminism. She is supposed to be family oriented and bring the U-Haul on the second date. As a Gay man, my focus should be sex, sex, sex, the club scene, shallow relationships, shopping and oh yeah, SEX. Now while we both have qualities that may be true to these stereotypes, in general we couldn’t be more polar opposite from our supposed set roles. While my past was one big party, my future consists of a deep desire to start a family and move to a quiet community where Jon and I can work hard and raise our children to be productive members of society. I find that I would rather attend and enjoy a poetry reading or a discussion on feminism than a night out on the

town any day. Dee, while in a committed relationship with an amazing woman, is career driven and has yet to discover one maternal bone in her body. She would not begrudge me for publicly stating that she finds children to be the most annoying things on this planet and cannot understand why any sane person would ever want such a weight holding them back in life. I would choose family over a career any day while Dee is the opposite. We sometimes joke and say that she is more of a Gay man than me and that I am more of a Lesbian. Now if you find this joke offensive, you should. The joke we tell is rooted in stereotypes that our own community perpetuates. Our community is just as focused on gender roles as we accuse the straight community of being. While we have many who visually challenge gender roles, we still generally view men as sexually consumed and women as slaves to their emotions. So perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that Dee and I get odd looks when we announce that we are best friends to other Gay men and Lesbians. Yes, as I have with Gay men, Dee has gotten odd looks from other Lesbians when she has told them that her best friend is a Gay man. Now I am not writing this to resolve this issue, perhaps many of you even feel that this is not how our community is at all. Perhaps some of you even have a friendship like Dee and I. I have no studies to prove that my personal experience of a bias against my friendship is the norm. All I have is just that, my personal experience. I have the fact that even today I get confused looks when I reveal that my best friend is a Lesbian. Now like I said, I am not saying that Gay men and Lesbians as a whole are always at each other’s throats. We have worked really well together and I have witnessed Gay men and Lesbians achieve great things when united for a cause. I see us socialize at parties and other events. But still, when it comes to that person who you cuddle up with on the couch for a movie night; my experience has shown me that Dee and I are still an oddity. This article is just meant to pose a question. Why does a group who takes pride in defying perceived set roles partake in perpetuating stereotypes that divide us along gender lines? Why does this “PRIDE DIVIDE” still exist in our community? Nyvek is a local college student who has been volunteering with the Pride Center since 2008. It was Nyvek’s passion for weddings that first got him involved in the fight for marriage equality and the community as a whole.

INSIDE ARTIST C.D. LANG’S SEUL C.D. Lang is a newly emerging artist in the Capital District. Hailing from Ulster County, she has spent many years travelling to different cities, taking in various sights and experiences that influence her art. She focuses a great deal on expressing personal emotions, and uses her dance experience to bring ideas to life on canvas. Acrylic paints and charcoal are two mediums strongly exhibited in her work, and can be featured on canvases, sketch pads, or even recyclable materials like egg cartons. Though much of her work is considered absract, she prefers to not place a label on it, stating, “the identity of a piece can always change according to perception, and not be defined by any one idea”

C.D., What inspires you artistically? I’ve never really thought about what inspires me. I love the work by the greats, Manet and Cezanne, but I actually paint nothing like them. A lot of my work is born from personal emotions at a specific moment in which I’d be. Sometimes I just get random urges to create, watch and feel the fluidity of color through a brushstroke or a pencil. Lately I’ve been creating pieces heavily inspired by moral concepts like self-love or unity, with strong ties to strengthening womanhood. How does your personal life influence your work, if at all? My personal life influences my artwork a great deal, but I try not to make it so obvious in the pictures. There are places that I’ve been to, both physically and emotionally, that I either run to or hide from. There have been interactions with unique people who inspired me to spew my emotions onto a canvas. They also inspire me to create pieces based on stories they’ve shared with me that touched my soul in a particular way. What, if any, are the themes that run through your work? Do you find yourself returning to certain motifs ore ideas, and why? I never really noticed until my latter years of drawing that I love the female body- specifically dancers. I dance myself, and it simply fascinates me how our bodies are so strong, the core is ridiculously tight, yet we can look ever so dainty and fragile. I love accenting strong facial features in women, particularly the jawline. I see it as a sign of strength in beauty. I elongate

the limbs whenever possible just to embellish on the idea of how flexible and simultaneously, feminine the body can be. Describe your background - childhood, family, and growing up - where it was and how it influenced you. I am youngest of three and a selfproclaimed “black sheep” of the family. While my brother and sister focused on hanging out with friends, I was worried about running out of paper to draw on. We grew up in Ulster County, pretty much farm country, so pencil and paper was really all I had to keep me occupied, and I loved it. I’ve been drawing since I was four and decided that I was going to grow up and become a cartoonist. It wasn’t until high school that my dream was deferred indefinitely. I was a singer and a member of the band, both of which I still love. Unfortunately my school had limited funding, and poor scheduling, so when I entered my freshman year I had to make a choice: quit band, choir, or art. I couldn’t leave music, so I gave up on art since I could always draw at home. Luckily once I got to college I enrolled in figure drawing classes and loved it, but chose to study Psychology instead. It wasn’t until 2011 though, that I began painting after college. I wasn’t happy at the time with some choices I had made for my life and needed another outlet. One day I simply walked into an art supply store, got some brushes, paint thinner, and a package of oils, and started my new journey. Have you had any formal art training or classes? Did that help or hinder you as an artist? I’ve never really had any other formal art training, but I don’t believe it has hindered my abilities. I actually don’t believe you can really teach art. You can show somebody how to mix colors, how to shadow, the perfect way to draw lines, but art comes from within. It is what your soul feels that your mouth cannot express into words. It’s what you see with your eyes, and translate onto paper using your own interpretations. To me art is a rebel with no rules, no constrictions. It is a freedom that cannot be taught.

What do you think the purpose of art is in the world? What is the purpose of your own art? I think art is meant to heal. As stated before, it is freedom, but it is also meant to heal, as is the case with my work. Whatever emotions are pent up inside, one can release them onto canvas, or paper, or wood, whatever medium they choose. Letting go of pain, or creating a piece to stimulate joy is definitely its purpose. What are your proudest accomplishments, artistic and otherwise? I’m twenty-five years old and have quite a few awards at work, for music, and for running, but my greatest achievement today has been quitting my job to follow a path I wanted for myself. It’s not something people wake up and decide to do. For me it took a lot of courage and thought and investment, but I love art and I love to dance. I missed my opportunities in high school, then again college. I couldn’t let it pass me one more time. I figured even if I failed, at least I could say I actually tried. What is the medium of your artwork, and why do you work in that medium? I really, really love charcoal. It’s messy, unforgiving, but it’s so hands on and personal. When I paint I love to use acrylic. Oils make a painting look fancy, but acrylics are great because I can use them to look like an oil painting, or to imitate watercolor. What is the title and theme of your upcoming show at the Romaine Brooks, and how did it develop? f my show is “Le Seul” and it is honestly just an introduction to the person behind the artist; the lonely soul that created a mask and pseudonym to express who it is. C.D. Lang’s “Le Seul” will be at the Pride Center’s Romaine Brooks Gallery through November with a special artist reception featuring original poems inspired by C.D.’s visual pieces written and performed by local poets on Friday, November 7. The Romaine Brooks Gallery is located on the 1st floor at 332 Hudson Avenue and is open to the public, along with the Rainbow Cafe, every Friday and Sunday from 6-9pm.

SUNDAYS

Every LGBTQ Alcoholics Anonymous* in the Garden Level 7-8:30 Sun.

Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 11amin the Rainbow Cafe 1pm G.O.O.D. Sundays Open Mic 6-9pm in the Rainbow Cafe

of themonth

Sun.

of themonth

Last

Sun.

of themonth

Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 11amin the Rainbow Cafe 1pm Vintage Pride Potluck Lunch pm First Presbyterian Church 362 State St., Albany

1-3

Supper Sunday on the 1st Floor

MONDAYS Gay Men’s Alcoholic’s Anonymous* in the Garden Level 7-8:30pm

Mon.

of themonth

Mon.

of themonth

Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor

4-7pm

Every Other Tues.

(ages 18 & under) Saratoga Springs Library 49 Henry St, Saratoga Springs

Tues.

Schenectady LGBTQA Youth Group (ages 18 & under)

Proctor’s Theater, Underground Space 432 State St., Schenectady 6-7:30pm

LGBTQ Narcotics Anonymous*7:30in the Garden Level 8:30pm

Tues.

Hudson Opera House 327 Warren St., Hudson

Albany LGBTQA Youth Group (ages 18 & under)

in the Garden Level

7-8:30pm

Special Artist Reception and Opening

(1st Fri. the month - see capitalpridecenter.org/programs-services/center-arts for details)

2 4th

of themonth

in the Romaine Brooks Gallery (1st Floor) 5-9pm Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor Game Night in the Rainbow Cafe Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor

4-7pm 6-9pm 4-7pm

Every Friday Night

7pm

Hudson LGBTQA Youth Group (ages 18 & under)

6-7:30pm

RAINBOW CAFE IS OPEN

Capital Region Support Group for Family & Friends of LGBTQ People*

First Unitarian Society of Schenectady Tues. 1221 Wendel Ave, Schenectady themonth more info: Julia Helfman 518-372-9911

of themonth

(Sept. 4 - Nov 6 )

Every Fri.

Fri.

of themonth

(ages 18-24)

on the th1st Floor th

of themonth

Trans* Pride Discussion Group on the 1st Floor 7-9pm

7pm

LGBTQ Book Club on the 1st Floor

Thrive LGBTQ Youth Group

Fri.

4:306pm

7pm

THURSDAYS

Saratoga LGBTQA Youth Group

Live from the Livingroom Poetry Open Mic* in the Garden Level

FRIDAYS

4-7pm

TUESDAYS

1 nd 2 rd 3

Weds.

of themonth

Men’s Peer Support Group on the 1st Floor 7-8:30pm

1 rd 3 st

Women’s Group 6-7pm social hour on the 1st Floor 7-8pm discussion

Weds.

Every Sunday Night

Every Mon.

2 rd 3

of themonth

- pm

RAINBOW CAFE IS OPEN 6-9

WEDNESDAYS

Thurs.of themonth

Sun.

EVENTS

Every

WEEKLY pm

4:306pm

Trans* Pride Meet & Greet 7-9pm on the 1st Floor

6-9PM

Except where noted all events take place at The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, NY 12210 The Garden Level can be accessed from the street through the door beneath the front steps

*indicates an outside group that meets at the Pride Center calendar online: www.capitalpridecenter.org/events/calendar.cfm

EVENTS THINGS TO DO CONTESTS

Guide to the Capital Region DINING NIGHTLIFE DIRECTORY & MORE!

Friday 11/7 Opening Reception: Le Seul

Special Events

The Romaine Brooks Gallery celebrates the opening of C.D. Lang’s show Le Seul with a special artist reception featuring the debut of C.D.’s painting and charcoal works and a very special reading by local poets who will share works created specially for this opening. The Rainbow Cafe will be open to host the reception and welcome you during Albany’s 1st Friday . Le Seul will be on display through November. The Romaine Brooks is open to the public, along with the Rainbow Cafe every Friday and Sunday from 6-9pm. Friday, Nov. 7, 2014 Romaine Brooks Gallery 332 Hudson Ave. 5-9 pm Free

Sunday 11/9 LGBTQ Family Yoga

Tuesday 11/11 Trans*lating Documentation

Join us on Tuesday, November 11th for a *FREE* workshop and learn the process of legal name changes & updating gender markers on identity documents! Thinking about changing your legal name or updating the gender marker on some or all of your identity documents? This process can be confusing, expensive and time consuming. We can help make it a little easier! Information regarding: - Court Ordered Legal Name Change - NYS ID (Drivers License) Name & Gender Update - Social Security Card Name & Gender Update - Passport Card Name & Gender Update - NYS Birth Certificate Name & Gender Update Forms for all relevant agencies and processes will be available, along with template letters to use with doctors & therapists as needed. Come learn the NEW Department of Health policy for updating gender markers on NYS Birth Certificates! *The information workshop is geared toward adults 18+, however the specific needs of minors will be discussed as well.

Join us as we experience welcoming family yoga with our children, nieces, nephews, god children, grandchildren, neighbors, etc.

**Providers are welcomed to attend this workshop, however transgender & gender nonconforming attendees will have the first opportunities for questions

In other words, ALL families are welcome! Krista Spohr of the Breathing Room will guide us through gentle movements that are fun for the whole family!

Light refreshments will be available.

presented by the Pride Center’s Center Families program Sunday, Nov. 9 The Breathing Room 399 Kenwood Avenue (@Four Corners), Delmar Little Kids: 10-10:45 am Big Kids: 11-11:45 am $10 for 1 adult & any number of children in your family $15 for 2 adults & any number of children in your family

GET EVENT UPDATES:

Tuesday, Nov. 11 The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave. Albany, NY 12201 6-8 pm Free Thursday 11/20 Transgender Day of Remembrance Many threads one cloth. Take time out of your schedule to observe those lost at this year’s transgender day of remembrance with a special ceremony followed by a healing potluck supper with the community. Wheelchair accessible. ASL interpretation can be provided with notice by November 6th For more information please call (518) 462-6138 Thursday, Nov. 20 2014 St. Rose - Hubbard Hall 959 Madison Ave., Albany 6-9 pm Free

The Albany Gay Men’s Chorus Presents:

“Christmas Bells are Ringing”

Saturday, December 13. 2014 7:30pm First Congregational Church 405 Quail Street (off New Scotland Avenue) Albany, NY.

Adults: $12

Sunday, December 14, 2014 3pm First Reformed Church of Hudson 52 Green Street Hudson, NY.

Under 12: Free

Students: $9

A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network(GLSEN).

Advance discounted tickets are availible through the Pride Center of the Capital Region at www.capitalpridecenter.org, or -In Albany at Romeo’s Gifts, 299 Lark Street, or -In Hudson at The Spotty Dog Books and Ale, 440 Warren Street.

"(.$

AGMC is an affiliate of The Pride Center of the Capital Region.

*lating Documentation

Social Security Drivers License Birth Certificate Passport Legal Name Social Security Drivers License Birth Certificate Passport Legal Name Social Security Drivers License Birth Certificate Passport Legal legal Name Birth Certificate Passport Legal Name Social Social Security Drivers Drivers License Birth Birth Certificate Passport Legal Name Social Security Drivers License Birth Certificate Passport Legal Name

Join us on for a *FREE* workshop and learn the process of legal name changes & updating gender markers on identity documents!

Tuesday, November 11th 6-8pm 332 Hudson Ave., Albany Light refreshments available

Presented by: Lauren Ford, LMSW—LGBTQ Health Specialist casemanagement@capitalpridecenter.org or 518.462.6138x12

Community Events Monthly Meetings on the 3rd Thursday at 7pm typically at the Women’s Building 373 Central Ave, Albany for info: transadvocatescr@gmail.com

Gay Skate 7-9:30 pm Every Tuesday Rollarama Skating Center 2710 Hamburg St, Schenectady, NY 12303 $9.50 w. Skate Rental $6.50 w. Your Own Skates For more info, contact David DB40@aol.com or (518) 573-3962

November 7th 6-9pm YouthPride is a student led meeting that centers around helping LGBTQ students and allied students discuss matters in our community, schools, and in their Gay Straight Alliances (GSAs) that they have in their schools. YouthPride provides leadership development and an opportunity to help plan activities around GLSEN’s Days of Action and Days of Support. YouthPride meets every first Friday of the month (except January) at Professor Java’s on Wolf Road in Colonie from 6 to 9 pm. See more at: http://glsen.org/chapters/nycr/

Pride Center Affliates Events Albany Gay Men’s Chorus “Christmas Bells Are Ringing”

Don’t miss this special holiday concert with two shows scheduled

Sat. Dec. 13 at 7:30 pm First Congregational Church 405 Quail St., Albany

Sun. Dec. 14 at 3 pm First Reformed Church of Hudson 52 Green St., Hudson Adults- $12, Students $9, 12 & under free purchase at

www.capitalpridecenter.org Romeo’s Gifts - 299 Lark St. - Albany The Spotty Dog Books and Ale 440 Warren St. - Hudson

ADULT LGBTQ SUPPORT GROUP will meet monthly in Saratoga Springs Sun, November 23rd, 3-4:45 pm Saratoga Springs Public Library 49 Henry Street Saratoga Springs, NY Contact Caroline with questions 518.857.9361 Sponsored by Saratoga Pride and the PrideCenter of the Capital Region

H e r e ’s G u f f man

Pat rick Whit e

“TENNESSEE WILLIAMS: MAD PILGRIMAGE OF THE FLESH” Tennessee Williams claimed he had a theatre inside him. Since his death in 1983 there have been over 40 books published about him but surely none are as entertaining as John Lahr’s “Tennessee Williams: Mad Pilgrimage of the Flesh.” Lahr described his method “Style is metabolism” of using as many participants quotes and as much of William lyrical language as possible to bring that presence close, he brings that theatre back to thrilling life and produces a smash hit that should run for years. It is a compulsively readable, vibrantly alive, joyous work. Lahr portrayed his 12 year pursuit in a recent visit to UAlbany in his Burian lecture sponsored by the New York State Writer’s Institute. William’s was a compulsive writer who even in the depths of his addiction arose every morning and no matter what room he found himself in went to work writing plays, letters, stories, poems, a novel, and a famously unreliable memoir. Many of the people he came into contact with and even two family members wrote memoirs. The amount of detail told in first person from the opening chapter, such as the rain coming down as Laurette Taylor got sick in the wings as the opening night curtain of “The Glass Menagerie” went up 10 minutes late at 8:40 is priceless for the stagestruck reader. Stories and quotes from a huge cast of characters (Brando, Kazan, Vidal, Capote, Selznick, and on and on) populate this 784 page book; yet they never feel extraneous or shoehorned in, so brilliantly and seamlessly Lahr weaves them into the fabric of the story. Lahr, for 20 years the former chief drama critic of The New Yorker became involved with the last encyclopedic, authorized biography: “Tom” by Lyle

Leverich when that author was blocked from using Williams’ letters and notes by the Williams’ estate, namely one Lady Maria St. Just. Lahr, using his bully pulpit, wrote a 1,500 word profile of the sometime actress claiming in the first sentence she was “neither a lady, nor a saint, nor just.” After her death that book, at over 600 pages, stood as the comprehensive word on the subject; but, it was only part one as it ended with “The Glass Menagerie” in 1945. Lahr inherited the task of part two from Leverich -who died- but instead decided to write a stand-alone biography which he has been working on for 12 years. This volume opens with the fresh take on “Menagerie”s opening courtesy of a recently discovered commentary by Eddie Dowling, the play’s producer, codirector and (somewhat fantastically at the age of 51) co-star in the role of Tom Wingfield. Also heard from for the first time in this biography is an interview with Pancho Rodriguez, Williams’ first domestic partner who was extremely volatile, and the model for Stanley Kowalski. Another revelation in the book is Williams’ cause of death. I had always heard it described as choking, but Lahr confirms it was an overdose. Perhaps the greatest contribution the book makes in the further understanding of Williams, though, is the long way it goes to disprove the notion that Williams never wrote a good play after his last Broadway hit “The Night of the Iguana” in 1961. For the last 30 years of his life he never stopped writing plays. None could match his triumphs of the glory years: “A Streetcar Named Desire,” “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” “Suddenly, Last Summer.” He measured his worth against his reception on Broadway. He became a punching bag for nasty critics that seemingly took delight in

pummeling him, even wishing him harm or his demise. Responding to “Clothes for a Summer Hotel” his last new play on Broadway in 1981 Robert Brustein in the New Republic said he should “book a flight to Three Mile Island on a one-way ticket.” Lahr gives a lot of space and respect to these later plays which foster a deeper understanding of the man, the playwright, and his themes: “The Gnadiges Fraulein,” “Vieux Carre,” “Outcry,” “A House Not Meant to Stand” and “Small Craft Warnings” among others. As Lahr recounts in his book: “In 1976, at his induction to the American Academy of Arts and Letters, Williams had heard the words of Robert Penn Warren: ’No dramatist writing in English has created a more strongly characteristic and memorable world.’ At the Kennedy Center Honors, in 1979, he heard Kazan call him ‘a playwright in the way a lion is a lion. Nothing but.’ Accepting the 1980 Presidential Medal of Freedom, Williams heard President Jimmy Carter say that he’d ‘shaped the history of modern American theater.’” “Tennessee Williams: Mad Pilgrimage of the Flesh” joins those words as a ringing testament to the everlasting greatness of Tennessee Williams.

Patrick White is a Capital Region actor, director and teacher who will soon start a new professional adult acting class. For details contact him at white.patrick1963@gmail.com.

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THE FASHIONABLE AND THE FRIVOLOUS by

A l a n Bennet Ila ga n

The Indispensables Not everyone is into fashion. Working for the State of New York over the past decade, I can confidently vouch for this. Yet everyone has the potential to look sharp, or at the very least presentable, when armed with a few indispensable clothing items. These basics form the building blocks of any wardrobe, and with them an entire arsenal of outfits can be made. This is not a cheap or inexpensive fix, and for this initial investment I would suggest not skimping, because you’ll go back to these time and time again. Trendy items and accessories can be added to distinguish outfits, but with these staples you can dress well for almost any occasion.

1. A navy jacket. It’s amazing the transformation that occurs simply by slipping into a navy jacket. A sloppy jeans and t-shirt combination is suddenly officeappropriate. A pair of shorts and a polo are instantly transformed into formal summer attire. Personally, I find combining a navy jacket with a pair of khakis shows off both items to their best advantage. Speaking of khakis, they’re the next must-have item on the list. 2. Flat-front or plain-front, just don’t get them pleated ~ a proper pair of khakis is perfect for a wide array of scenarios, and even when dressed-down they make a more sophisticated visage than a pair of jeans. 3. A white button-up dress shirt. Good quality, and tailored to your body. It costs more but it is always worth it. If you want to splurge, get a second one in an offwhite or cream shade, and between the two you’ll have enough options to match any tie in your collection. A blank canvas is always in style. 4. A solid pair of jeans in a dark wash. This is a topic worthy of its own feature, but shop around, and be prepared to spend more than you normally would. Jeans last for years if cared for properly. 5. A good suit. It need not be custom-made or bespoke, but do have it tailored to your body. I find that a basic black works best for all events, and will cover weddings and funerals and all social events in one classic, fell swoop. (If you are so inclined, or if your job requires it, a suit arsenal can be assembled with one each in gray, brown and navy.) 6. A cashmere sweater. Yes, it may seem a tad fanciful for a list of essentials, but cashmere is always worth the investment. Take care of it, and it will take care of you.

(Everyone loves to pet a cashmere sweater, and everyone loves a good petting.) Taken together, these items will make a strong back-bone on which all outfit options can solidly hang. Of course, a few more items would round out things decent pair of shoes, and a classic watch – initial indispensables rest can come later. getting back to basics way to refine one’s

Alan Bennett Ilagan is a freelance writer and amateur photographer who resides in upstate New York with his husband Andy. He created the website www.ALANILAGAN. com, which contains a repository of his work, as well as a daily blog; the website recently celebrated its tenth anniversary online. He was the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery from 2008 to 2012. His writing has appeared in Instinct, xy magazine, Capitalmen, Q Northeast, the Windy City Times, and the Boston Phoenix. Notable artistic collaborations have been created with the likes of Steven Underhill, Paul Richmond, Dennis Dean, and Michael Breyette.

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out

the

garden

Extending the Season by Judith Fetterley

LGBTQ FAMILY YOGA! WithKristaSpohroftheBreathingRoom

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9

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In the fall it occurs to me that my favorite time of year in the garden is the fall. Fall light is soft but clear and the fall light show happens all day long because the sun never gets too high. This year the light has been extraordinary. Though the this year’s fall drought is dangerous from a plant perspective because, unlike children, plants, and especially trees, need to go to bed wet, from the perspective of a person obsessed with light it is a gift. My fall garden has never looked so beautiful. From my kitchen window I can see the annual blue salvia spikes backed by the golden plumes of the Amsonia hubrechtii backed in turn by the stillblooming (!) white Phlox ‘David’, and the pink Phlox ‘Robert Poore’, and behind it all the mass of purple-leaved ninebark (Physocarpus ‘Diablo’) interspersed with spray of gold Chamacypaeris pisifera. If I turn my head a few degrees to the left I see the miniature cherry tree with rust-red foliage in the center of a garden edged with neon-pink asters and the deep red foliage of Hydrangea ‘Twist ‘n’ Shout.’ In the middle of this riot of color I catch glimpses of the dark brown seed heads of my betony (Stachys officinalis ‘Hummelo’) and jolts of blue from my also still blooming bachelor’s buttons (Centaurea montana).

insistent maple, turn a translucent orange never seen on a maple; the Heptacodium puts out clusters of white blooms in late August that produce clusters of red berries in September; the striated multi-colored bark of the Stewartia creates late fall and winter interest.

Fall light is soft but clear and the fall light show happens all day long because the sun never gets too high. This year the light has been extraordinary.

I do love mums but I have not had luck getting them to come back. I have tired of the annual purchase and also of the sometimes garish look of the newlypurchased plant. Instead I have come to depend on anemones, lavender, geraniums, gold Valerian, the Japanese aster (Kalimeris), variegated iris, Boltonia, and perennial Salvia for color and interest in my fall garden. With the addition of grasses and a few containers filled with long-lasting annuals, my garden delights until the end of October, and sometimes even into November.

Though I did not do so consciously, I have managed to create a fall garden. Next year I will add “Extending the Season” to the list of classes I offer. I will begin the class with talk of trees because for many people fall color and fall interest means maples. Maples are magnificent but so, for example, is the sweet gum (Liquidambar), the Parrotia, the Stewartia, the Heptacodium. The delicate oval leaves of the Parrotia , actually a relief from the brash,

In the fall it occurs to me that my favorite time of year in the garden is the fall. Shrubs provide another way to extend the season. Plant a Fothergilla or an Abelia and you will be treated to a riot of orange, red, and yellow fall foliage. Plant a Cotinus and you can have 6’ high spikes of purple leaves shading into orange. Surround this with a mix of Phlox ‘David’, white Echinacea, and the gray-leaved spikey Eryngium yuccafolium and you have a photo worthy garden event in your own backyard! Azaleas are revered for their spring blooms. I revere them for their fall reds. Spireas provide a yellow haze that feels like light itself trapped inside a leaf. Plant a Buddleia and if you are lucky its late blooms will bring you a monarch butterfly, swooping and swirling and sucking, taking off and coming back over and over, bulking up for the flight to Mexico.

Judith Fetterley lives and gardens in Glenmont, New York. She also runs Perennial Wisdom, a garden design business for new and existing gardens. Reach Judith at fetterleyj@gmail.com

MICHAEL COOKS AND YOU CAN TOO

Mic hael M ead e

COUNTDOWN TO THANKSGIVING Each year you vow to make this Thanksgiving easier than the last, and every year you end up spending more time running around the house than enjoying your guests. This year, let’s change that idea and help you prepare in advance, so that you can be relaxed and happy when your guests arrive! Here are 10 tips to help you prepare your home and your meal for a Thanksgiving that will be remembered for years to come.

Invite your guests now:

While you may have the urge to have an ‘open door’ policy that anyone who wants to drop by on Thanksgiving is welcome, this tends to make for uncertainty in planning. Invite guests now, and set an RSVP date that allows you ample time to invite a few more guests if you’d like. This will help you budget for food, time, chairs… and your nerves.

Choose your menu well in advance:

Deciding on a menu now will leave you feeling relaxed on Thanksgiving Day. Consider going through traditional family recipes in your cookbooks or visiting your favorite food websites for ideas. If hosting a potluck, plan out a list of what type of food you’d like guests to bring and advise them once they accept the invitation.

Plan your holiday table:

Whether you prefer a formal dining experience or a casual dinner, plan table linen, dinnerware, seats, and serving ware now. If you need to shine silver flatware, do it now and not on Thanksgiving morning!

Enlist some help:

While we all would like to take the

honor of making and planning the entire Thanksgiving feast, the reality is that a little help can make a much easier meal. Ask friends, families and neighbors for help in advance. If your guests are good at carving the turkey or tending bar, put them to work. Older kids and teenagers can help bring out chairs and hang up coats as guests arrive. Remember, you shouldn’t have to do everything.

Consider a catered meal:

If your schedule is hectic, cooking Thanksgiving dinner can be just more than you can handle. If time and energy is scarce, consider hiring a good caterer. If you’d prefer a more casual solution, many restaurants offer Thanksgiving meals that you can order in advance, or you can order sides a la carte in the restaurant to bring home. Believe it or not, once you bring your food home and serve it in your own dishes, no one will ever know the difference.

Cook in advance and freeze:

Use the days leading up to Thanksgiving to your advantage. Many vegetable side dishes and casseroles, as well as pies, cakes, and breads can be made in advance and kept in the freezer until ready to thaw for Thanksgiving dinner.

Prep your kitchen:

After you have planned the meal, prep your kitchen with plenty of serving utensils and plan where the food will be served. For those that have a large kitchen, this step may be straightforward, while those with smaller kitchens should make food stations around the kitchen for ease of serving and so that guests can find what they need easily and without asking you where items are.

Plan entertainment:

While many families have more than enough to talk about, it’s always a good idea to plan alternate entertainment for guests to enjoy. If inviting children, have a TV, games, or coloring book activities out of the mainstream area to keep them occupied. For adults, consider having music and other entertainment on hand for everyone to enjoy while mingling.

Enjoy your guests:

While this step isn’t about preparation, it’s more important than the others combined. The holidays only come around once a year, so make them count. Remember, Thanksgiving is a time to cherish those around you and give thanks for having loved ones near.

Ensure there is enough space in your home:

After receiving RSVP acceptance from your guests, ensure there is plenty of space, tables and chairs for all. If you live in a smaller home, consider renting chairs or tables just for the night, and you’ll avoid having to invest in furniture. Consider covering rented chairs with formal slipcovers for a beautiful addition to your holiday table and decor.

Michael Meade graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently sous-chef at Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy.

Questions and comments are welcome at Michaelmeade1215@yahoo.com.

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