CommUNITY Magazine (vol 2 iss 4) Vintage Pride by Pride Center of the Capital Region

VINTAGE PRIDE

DIRECTOR’S NOTE One of the many early achievements of the Pride Center (then under a different name) was getting the word “gay” in the phonebook. In a pre-google era, this was a lifeline for many in our community. I think of the recent addition of a visible Pride Center sign outside our building as an interesting barometer of the dramatic differences in the times, from our founding in 1970 to today. It was an asset to be discrete, as many center-goers had a lot to lose in such a hostile time. Some community members relay memories of curious spectators across the street from the

C u rran Streett, Execu tive Directo r

Center, lined up in lawn chairs deriving entertainment from those entering the sanctuary we carved out. Needless to say, I stand on the shoulders of giants. Those who came before me at the Pride Center, both those at the helm and involved in any capacity endured so much to make our present reality possible. As a younger person in our movement and community, I am in awe of the struggles, sacrifices and accomplishments of my older peers and mentors.

I am pleased to dedicate this issue of CommUNITY to LGBT seniors, and shed light on some of the experiences of aging LGBT people. We have some very distinct experiences that make aging challenging and special. Our chosen family are often the most important factor in aging well, and the importance of community continues to be present as we age. Unfortu-

FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK

4 8 0 pages. That’s how many pages of Comm U N I T Y Magazine we publish a year. It seems like a lot but it’s not. That breaks down to 40 pages a month. Then you take out covers and tables of contents and calendars, leaving around 30 pages. Pull another 6 to 8 pages of ads. And down the page count goes.

As the publication of the Pride Center of the Capital Region, this magazine has the task of representing the entire population we serve. It should have articles reflecting all walks of life. The pictures should reflect every person under our umbrella. Much like the Pride Center, CommUNITY needs to be all things to all people. All within 40 pages or less a month.

nately, greater culture in our country does not respect our elders in a truly supportive and reverent way, and we are no better in the LGBT community. I dream of a community that can transcend barriers of age, gender, race and other differences, and see a strong need for this as our community ages. As we approach the 45th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots this June, I hope that we can make this commitment to each other. While the times have changed, our need for community and supporting our own has not.

Mic hael Weidr ic h

Knowing the mission of this book and its limitations, I’ve created themes for every month to highlight different parts of our community. January was our Diversity issue, February was LGBT Health, and March was Bisexual month. Within our articles and images, we’ve tried to have as much broad appeal as possible while addressing the topics at hand. But as you might image, it’s very challenging. For example, the cover of March’s Bisexual issue. Placed upon the bisexual flag was an array of faces from different genders, different races, and different ages. Thus exemplifying the diversity of people who identify as bisexual. But I received feedback that the image did not include a clear image of a senior citizen. What I find ironic about this complaint is that this issue, our May issue, is our special LGBTQ Senior issue. This issue’s theme has been planned for since the beginning of this year. I

feel that through the 480 page journey this year, we will shine the light on as many parts of our community as possible. The other feature of this month is an article on the local Bear community and Bear culture. Next month is our big PRIDE issue and we’re highlighting all the PRIDE celebrations in the region. For the second half of the year, we have features on women, back to school, veterans, volunteerism, non-traditional relationships, Hispanic pride, LGBTQ history, Trans* pride, Leather, and LGBTQ families. We invite you, our readers, to contribute articles to any of these themes and if you have suggestions for future themes, please email them to me. With 160 pages down and 320 to go, keep the feedback coming. We have a lot of great things coming in CommUNITY this year. Our spotlight has a lot more corners of the Capital Region and of the LGBTQ community to shine upon over the next seven months. So buckle in and enjoy the ride!

We want to hear from our Community! Letters to the Editor may be sent to Michael Weidrich at mweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org Letters must be 100 words or less and must include name, phone, email.

Registration for Capital Pride 2014 is open through May 16th! Be A Part of It! Be in the Parade, Be a vendor at the PRIDE Festival, Celebrate and Support our Community! Download a registration packet on our website: www.capitalpridecenter.org/capital-pride

Capital PRIDE Parade presented by Walgreens & Capital PRIDE Festival SATURDAY, June 14th - 12-5pm - Washington Park, Albany

CREATING CULTURALLY RELEVANT SERVICES FOR OUR SENIORS LGBTQ older adults, by therefore moving parLyndon Cudlitz, Community Education Program Manager ticipants to a place As LGBTQ seniors are becom- In the last year, the Pride Center has of greater compassion. Audience ing an increasingly visible population, delivered trainings to service providers members also learn of the value in the demand for knowledgeable service such as the Internships on Aging Proproviders and safe community spaces gram, Montgomery and Saratoga Coun- what LGBTQ seniors have to offer has grown. Training and education ty Offices for Aging, and the Long Term through discussion of this population’s is an essential component in creating Care Ombudsman Programs of Albany strengths, resilience, and rich history. empowering environments and cul- and Fulton Counties. These customizturally relevant services for LGBTQ able trainings are devoted to meeting In addition to delivering trainings and older adults in the Capital Region. the needs of LGBTQ older adults and presentations, the Pride Center’s comdesigned for audiences that include prehensive Consultation Services proWith this year’s expansion of Train- faith-based organizations, businesses, vide technical assistance to enhance ing & Education Services at the Pride mental health providers, medical pro- the quality of services for LGBTQ inCenter, we have increased the train- viders, and community programs. dividuals. For agencies working with seniors, this may include projects ings we provide to senior serving agencies. Our trainings assist service pro- After addressing challenges such as such as reviewing and development viders in understanding the unique social isolation, stigma, and health of intake forms, promotional mateneeds of LGBTQ seniors and learn disparities, our trainings provide ef- rials, and policies and procedures. best practices for ensuring LGBTQ fective tools for implementing strateolder adults can age with dignity and gies to support LGBTQ seniors. These To learn more about the Pride Center’s with access to the supports they need. presentations increase an audience’s Training & Education Services, contact lcudlitz@capitalpridecenter.org or understanding of the experiences of 518-462-6138 x16. C UL TU R E V ULT U RES Region. This is so unlike cultural scenes knowledge there has never been a request by Douglas Cohn in larger cities, where gay people com- for a tour of the Albany Institute by a gay prise an important supportive base. And group. Would it not be great to have an yet, for cultural events in our own com- out group on one of the docent tours? One of the passions in my life is munity, we have tremendous attendance I propose that the Culture Vultures would experiencing the rich cultural life of the and support: gay pride, Capital Pride meet on a regular basis, say monthly, and Capital Region. Often I do this alone or Singers, 3 Dollar Bill productions, etc. discuss upcoming events, and attend sein the company of whichever boyfriend lect events as a group, perhaps partake in I am with at the time. Rarely do I see a In order to help fill this void, I am form- a meal along the way. If our numbers are large cohesive gathering of gay people at ing a new group, the Culture Vultures, large, perhaps we could get special perks performing/visual arts venues. For ex- that would support and attend general at these events, like meeting with an out ample, I am involved with the Albany In- cultural events of our region. It would performer backstage. I am calling for stitute of History and Art, and regularly also send a re-enforcing message to our the organizational meeting for Culture attend the Sunday afternoon lectures, cultural establishments that gay people Vultures at my home in the Hudson/Park but it is rare to see more than a couple are a significant part of the audience base neighborhood on Sunday, May 18 at 5 of other gay people in the audience. I re- in the Capital Region, not just through pm. If you interested in taking part in call another friend telling me that is rare individual tickets buyers but as a group the creation of this new group, please to see more than a handful of gay people of out, gay people. For example, to my email me at veterinaire@earthlink.net. at classical music events in the Capital

S UP PO R T F O R LG BT C AN CE R S U R VIVOR S

The National LGBT Cancer Network recently received funding from the New York State Department of Health to set up free online support groups for lesbian, bisexual and transgender breast cancer survivors.

Many LGBT survivors do not feel welcome or understood in mainstream support groups, and transgender survivors have been especially excluded. There are very few LGBT cancer support groups across the country, and those of us who live further from major metropolitan areas are very unlikely to find one at all. A study conducted by the Network in 2013 confirmed that tailored support groups were the top request made by LGBT cancer survivors, so we are-

excited to announce the launch of these new Support Groups for Survivors and help meet the needs of our communities. The groups are in a message board format, available to participants 24 hours per day, seven days per week. Online groups offer some unique advantages over face-to-face groups. They allow people to log on from home, a great benefit to cancer survivors who are busy, tired, and/or have family responsibilities that make it difficult to attend an evening group. These groups may be especially valuable for LGBT survivors who live outside major cities and would have more trouble accessing community support. Online groups can also be more welcoming for breast cancer survivors with physical, visual, hearing, cognitive and communication disabilities.

Our research indicates some of the topics that survivors will want to address, like coming out to providers, sex after cancer treatment, pressure for gender conformity, body image and relationships. More importantly, we are ready to learn from survivors and keep revising the groups to meet our real needs. Each of our support groups is moderated by a licensed clinical social worker and is only accessible to registered and confirmed group participants. For more information, please visit our website at http://www.cancer-network. org or email our Program Manager, Jenna McDavid, at jenna@cancernetwork.org. Please help spread the word to LGBT breast cancer survivors. Tell them that they are not alone, and that support is now available.

CAPITAL DISTRICT VINTAGE PRIDE: POTLUCK AND BEYOND by

For the many mature-aged members and their supporters of our GLBT community who have attended our monthly “potlucks” throughout the last half-decade or so, the preparation, presentation and consumption of a wide assortment of tantalizing appetizers, main course fare and dietetic to scrumptiously sinful desserts has been reason enough to participate. These lunches have also been providing an avenue for exploring a host of additional interests and activities mostly common among the seniors of our Community. The First Presbyterian Church, located at the juncture of Willet and State Streets in Downtown Albany, has become the supportive and apt location for us to meet monthly on Sundays from 1 to 3 PM. Over the last several weeks I’ve queried Vintage Pride potluck participants regarding individual interests, expectations and pleasures related to their “potluck” experiences with us; camaraderie and communication is a recurring theme. Many attendees look forward to the possibility of re-acquaintance with friends and members from their GLBT past, possibly from a time when the bar scene was a primary and possibly the only means of legitimate contact. Others are seeking new friendships in a relaxed and supportive setting. Issues related to wellness and health has been another shared concern for more than a few Vintage Pride “potluckers”. The Pride Center’s Steve Hendrickson, Healthcare Enrollment Coordinator…… is frequently present during our lunches and will enthusiastically provide health services/insurance information when

Chuck Zimmerman

and where necessary. Adventures and travels, entertainment and personal interests, hobbies and accomplishments [an occasional disappointment and/or disaster, too!] and a multitude of additional minor and major life’s experiences have been shared during our potluck lunches. Through the years the Capital District Pride Center has arranged for speakers on relevant topics [author “R. Stevenson” Richard Lipez of the Donald Strachey GLBT mysteries, consultations on legal aspects and implications of age and aging, etc.] has encouraged participation though a variety of enjoyable sharing techniques [small group discussions, use of GLBT artifacts from the Capital District’s illustrious gay past, etc.] and seeks additional stimulating ways to meet the needs of our participants and members. The Center, through Vintage Pride and its activities, does recognize who we are…. The individuals whose experiences and efforts have led to founding the “Gay and Lesbian Community Center of the Capital District” [Pride Center] at a time when homosexuality was deemed a mental illness and participation was mostly criminal activity. I asked Rosy Galván, our new genuinely enthusiastic and energetic Pride Center Vintage Pride Program Director, to add a personalized comment for this writing. Rosy stated……”Vintage Pride is a highlight of my job. It is truly an honor to work with such courageous members of our community. Their brave existence and radical visibility created a platform for transformative change that we benefit from on a daily basis. Hearing their stories gives me the strength to be myself, no

matter the odds. Yes, we still have a long way to go, but we are much closer to our goals thanks to those who came before us.” Rosy Galván and the Pride Center have asked me to write a column showcasing some of the rich and varied lives of participants of the Vintage Pride “potlucks”. I look forward to the interviews and recording them through a CommUNITY column! We are also developing plans to charter a Dutch Apple Cruise boat for a Vintage Pride lunch to be launched during Pride Week in June. Details as they develop will become available through Capital District Pride Center communication. Join us at a future Vintage Pride: Potluck and Beyond. You may be surprised to see how much we have to offer you! Also, please join Vintage Pride members and friends on June 10th from 6-9pm as we sail across the Hudson on a Dutch Apple Cruise! Tickets are $30, dinner included, and cash bar. Boarding time is at 5:30pm. Scholarships are available! Visit www.capitalpridecenter.org for tickets or contact Rosy Galván at rgalvan@ capitalpridecenter.org with questions. Chuck Zimmerman has been a member of the Albany Gay Men’s Chorus for 4 years! LAW OFFICE OF ANNE REYNOLDS COPPS Casey Copps DiPaola, Associate Kate Siobhan Howard, Associate

126 State Street, 6th Flr. Albany, New York 12207 518.436.4170

arcopps@nycap.rr.com kdipaola@nycap.rr.com katesiobhanhoward@nycap.rr.com

www.arcopps.net

MAKING US COUNT: COLLECTING ACCURATE INFORMATION TO SUPPORT OUR ELDERS

Empire State Pride Agenda

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) seniors face some of the most startling health disparities of any demographic, and we’re just starting to uncover what those facts are and how we can begin informed conversations about how to address them. The Empire State Pride Agenda has facilitated the LGBT Health and Human Services Network for two decades, advocating for state and municipal resources for the 53 organizations that deliver direct health care to one million New Yorkers. Organizations like SAGE that cater to LGBT seniors and community centers around the state are a part of the Network and we work in collaboration with our partners to secure the funds they need to deliver much-needed services. We’ve seen great progress in the past year when it comes to data collection for LGBT seniors. We commend the New York State Office of the Aging, which was one of the first to include LGBT identities in its data collection. Influenced in part by California’s recent push to collect information on sexual orientation and gender identity, New York has seen similar momentum and thankfully the Office of the Aging realized that this is important demographic data to collect that they don’t have and probably should. We worked closely with their team to begin the process of creating the questions. Our work included helping our partners train employees on how to address these questions in a respectful way, listening to their concerns about asking about sensitive information, helping to create an environment in which you can safely ask these questions so that you receive a response. Christian Huygen from The Rainbow Heights Initiative in partnership with Barbara Warren from Beth Is-

rael Medical Center and SAGE helped create a training to do with the providers. Included was cultural competency training, reinforcement for the need to do this kind of work and how to do so in a way that’s sensitive. There were some concerns, questions, complaints around this info being collected. People didn’t understand why they were being asked about their social orientation and gender identity. In particular, children wanted to know why their parents were being asked these questions. The office never wavered from their position and stated that it’s important to treat the whole person, which includes their sexual orientation and gender expression (they’re also legally obligated to do this now). Though the synthesis of the data collected on our seniors is in its infancy, we’ve seen indications about where the trends may be going with LGBT seniors. From the initial data collected we know that LGBT seniors are everywhere, in almost all counties outside of New York City. This demonstrates that most medical professionals in all corners of the state are treating someone who is LGBT. We know that LGBT seniors that have already disclosed their identities do suffer more from social isolation and have fewer resources available to them. LGBT seniors seem to be doing worse on the frailty index, or their risk of injury or illness. Seniors are also far less likely to have the traditional networks of support. One of the coolest discoveries to come out of the new data collection effort revealed a 90-year-old transgender woman living in an upstate county. It was a shining moment, and hopefully one of many to come, because it shows that we have been here all along and a critical piece of who we are has not been counted.

Once we can do a better analysis of the information it will be important to begin thinking about the resources that need to be either shifted or created to support LGBT seniors. This is a growing population with long-term care that has remained invisible for several important reasons. There are a host of reasons LGBT seniors don’t come out, including generational differences and vulnerability. According to the statewide needs assessment that the Pride Agenda conducted in 2009, LGBT seniors are more likely to be victims of financial exploitation and blackmail. As we create a stronger, more inclusive climate, we have an obligation to protect our elders. All of us need to do our part to ensure that our elders are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve. As we move further along in collecting data and people feel more comfortable revealing their identities, this will be an opportunity for community organizations and agencies that work with this demographic to highlight the needs of LGBT seniors. Together, armed with new information, we will be able to create an environment that will provide all of our seniors – regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity – the quality of care that they need and deserve. This is the generation that has survived some pretty amazing obstacles, from the Great Depression to the AIDS crisis and everything in between. Throughout these crises they have continued to provide leadership and guidance to future generations. It’s because of them that we have been able to achieve some of the many significant civil rights victories right here in New York State. It’s now our responsibility that as they pass the torch and enter a new chapter in their lives, that we provide them with the safety and security they deserve.

LAW OFFICE OF GERI POMERANTZ, ESQ. Proudly serving the LGBT community and our friends

Practice focused on family and matrimonial law

694 Columbia Turnpike East Greenbush, NY 12061 Tel: 518-479-3713 http://pomerantzlaw.org/

T R A NS VI E W

b y s p e c i a l gu es t c ol u m n i st

Lor r ee Cook-Daniel s

We’ve Come A Long Way, Baby: Trans Aging Advancements

Moonhawk welcomes special guest columnist, Lorree Cook-Daniels to the May print addition of Trans View. Trans View #122, by Hawk can be read online at www.capitalpridecenter.org/general/transview122 No stigmatized population in a model letter and more information U.S. history has made as much social at http://www.transequality.org/Reand policy progress as quickly as the sources/SSAResource_June2013.pdf. Trans people who need help getting transgender community. a court ordered name change should There are likely several reasons for contact the Transgender Legal Defense the speed of the shift, including side and Education Fund’s Name Change effects of the success of the marriage Project, which is rapidly expanding equality movement and the histori- across the country: http://www.transcally “sudden” emergence of a large, genderlegal.org/work_show.php?id=7. activist trans* movement. The rapidity of the changes has made keeping Health care. Speaking of health up a challenge for people of all ages. care, trans elders who are not on In this column, we will review some of Medicare should be able to access the changes most likely to have a posi- more affordable health insurance and get the coverage they need through tive effect on trans elders. the Affordable Care Act. Obamacare Social Security. Social Security has outlawed both redlining people makes up a large (if not sole) portion with pre-existing conditions and disof many older trans people’s income. crimination based on gender identity. Trans people who are legally married Trans people denied care may still may be able to access higher benefit need to file complaints with the fedamounts both before and after their eral government (you can download spouse dies. However, some trans el- a packet from the U.S. Department of ders and their partners have had their Health and Human Services’ Office for marriages questioned or even denied Civil Rights at www.hhs.gov/ocr/civilby the Social Security Administration. rights/complaints/discrimhowtofile. This is rapidly changing; 92-year-old pdf), but at least we now have the law Robina Asti recently won a very public on our side. Those on Medicare also fight for her benefits, putting further have something to look forward to: alpressure on the Social Security Ad- though the outcome is not guaranteed, ministration to formally tell its staff officials have undertaken a review to that marriages involving trans people see if Medicare’s refusal to cover genshould no longer face additional scru- der affirmation surgeries is still meditiny. {Breaking news-the SSA policy cally justified. Stay tuned! on trans* marriages was positively changed moments after this column Veterans. We are still getting the word out: multiple recent studies have was completed-HS} shown that transgender older adults Identification. Elders are, as a are twice as likely as non-trans peers class, more likely to need to access to be military veterans. Many veterans, health care and other services that particularly if they were drafted in the may require showing identification. 60s and 70s, do not realize they are This is the point at which many trans eligible for care from the Veterans Adpeople are “outed” due to ID showing ministration (VA). More importantly their old name and/or gender marker. for trans veterans, the VA has made Fixing this has gotten much easier and major strides in improving its care of somewhat cheaper lately, as the gender trans vets. Transgender Healthcare Dimarkers on both passports and Social rectives were issued in 2011 and 2013 Security accounts can now be changed directing VA staff to provide care to simply by submitting a letter from a trans patients “without discrimination physician confirming that you have in a manner consistent with care and had appropriate clinical treatment for management of all Veteran patients.” They also direct VA staff to keep pergender transition. You can find sonal information about transgender

status and medical care confidential, and to provide all medically necessary healthcare to trans vets, with the exception of gender affirmation surgeries. You can learn more here: http:// www.transequality.org/PDFs/VHA_ Trans_Health.pdf Housing. In 2012 the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) issued a rule prohibiting owners and operators of federallyfunded or federally-insured housing, as well as lenders offering federallyinsured mortgages, from discriminating based on gender identity and sexual orientation. This rule covers elder housing and homeless shelters, among others. The rule also expands the definition of “family” to ensure LGBT elders are allowed to live with partners and other loved ones who are not related by marriage or blood. Employment. Although employment discrimination based on age and/or gender identity are still rampant, both are now technically illegal. Most significantly, some courts have held that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act barring employment discrimination based on sex also covers discrimination based on gender identity and expression. If you think you’ve been discriminated against, contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which has publicly said enforcing this new understanding is one of its top priorities. There’s never been a better time to be a transgender older adult. Loree Cook-Daniels, FORGE’s Policy and Program Director, has helped design and co-facilitate FORGE’s multiple in-person and virtual support groups, research studies, and programs since 2000. She has been involved in advocacy, research, training, and services for LGBT populations since 1975, and is nationally-known for her work on LGBT aging and transgender issues. Her policy, program, and training work has focused on aging, elder abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault. She is a Contributing Editor and frequent author for Victimization of the Elderly and Disabled, and currently serves on the National (LGBT) Policy Roundtable, the New Beginning Initiative helping the Obama Administration identify pro-LGBT policy changes, and the National (LGBT) Aging Roundtable. She co-chairs the Policy Committee of the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, and formerly served on the Leadership Council of the LGBT Aging Issues Network of the American Society on Aging. She founded and curates GrayPrideParade. com, an LGBT aging blog that focuses on policy, practice, and research. Cook-Daniels holds a B.A. in women’s studies and history, an M.S. in conflict management, and a post-graduate Certificate in trauma counseling.

ride Pot P e g luc a t k in Clothing tells us a lot about who we are.

Sunday May 18th 1-3PM

1st Presbyterian Church 362 State St., Albany, NY

For our May potluck, join us by wearing apparel that tells us who YOU are. Funky hat? Leather chaps? Feather boa?

Wear it to our Potluck with PRIDE! For LGBTQ 55 and older. Bring a dish to share and enjoy drinks and dessert provided by the Pride Center. For more information call 518.462.6138 www.capitalpridecenter.org

EMPOWERING OUR COMMUNITY

s u r o h C s ’ n e M y a G any

The Alb

m o r f s g n o s Presents 21, 2014 e n u J , y a Saturd 7:30 PM e aint RoesArts S e f o g e g a e l t Col enter for th l al a M ssryoC cital Hn e R e t ue t e Pic & ison Av d a M 2 0 0 1 s l a usic 22, 2014

S M

Adults $10

Students $7 Under 12 Free Tickets are disc ou - online at www nted with advance purchase : - in Albany at R .capitalpridecenter.org om eo ’s Gifts, 299 Lark - in Hudson at P St. - in Hudson at SM Wine Bar, 119 Warren St. potty Dog Books & Ale, 440 Warr en St. A portion of the pr The Pride Cent er of the Capioceeds will beneﬁt tal Region Al ternative Prom

AGMC is an afﬁliate of The Pride Center of the Capital Region

June Sunday,4:00 PM Church n ia r e t y sb et First P9re ren Stre r a W 6 3 NY Hudsont,h & Warren) of Four (corner

AGMC e-mail: albanygmc@yahoo.com website: www.albanygmc.org facebook: AGMC

GAY MAN’S MUSINGS

BEARing It All.... When I first came out in the community I found myself surrounded by friends who usually fit the same mold. Most of my male friends were thin, toned and of course hairless. It was not uncommon to hear one of my friends’ say “Hair is such a turn off. Who wants to date a shag carpet?” If only my friends had known at the time that I was hiding a forest beneath my shirt. Now I had tried shaving, but found it to be too much of a hassle. I have an especially hairy chest and found the constant itching that came with shaving just too much to deal with. My unwillingness to shave of course then required me to never remove my shirt at the club and even keep my shirt on during sex. I resented my body hair and took part in shaming men who sported their full coats. For years I managed to avoid most people finding out about the shame hiding beneath my shirt. Then one evening, not too long after I started dating my now Fiance Jon, a good friend convinced me to go to a Bear and leather event. Now while I still am not one for leather, I am thankful to my good friend for forcing me out of my comfort zone. While at the event I saw so many men proudly showing off their chest hair by wearing V-necks and even being topless. Although I did not go topless that night, I did unbutton my shirt for the first time ever and let the fur fly. Now I am not one to promote always labeling oneself, but it felt so good to find a community where my previous shame was accepted and sexually desired. I acknowledged that,

Nyvek Moshier

even as a proud out gay man, I had long been in another closet. I was a closeted Bear. Following that night at the club I now rarely go a week without wearing at least five outfits that prominently feature my chest hair. V-necks have become part of my socializing uniform. Jon and I even found that our personal relationship has been enhanced as we have each embraced our inner Bear. Jon had been shaving his chest hair when we met. Among friends we are “The Bear Couple” and appreciate the humor in the title. While we do not restrict our socializing to the Bear community, we do have the Bear flag ever so proudly hanging up in our living room. For us it serves as a symbol of our long struggle to find where we feel physically comfortable in the community. Recently, I have noticed a trend that has made me think much more about the hairy closet I once lived in. I am seeing more and more gay men embrace their facial and body hair, this is happening among gay men of all ages. It seems as though the Bear and Otter are being placed on a pedestal. Now my first instinct is to ask, where was this appreciation when I was facing my insecurities with having hair? I even felt aggravated seeing the same men who once made me feel so ashamed now proudly sporting facial and body hair and/or coveting men who are hairy. But I have also been encouraged by this change, even at times thinking “NOW IS MY TIME TO SHINE YOU HAIRLESS RODENTS STUCK IN A PREPUBESENT STATE”. This growing obsession with all things masculine, especially body hair, had initially made me very giddy and happy for the change. But my joy in seeing the

gay male community embrace my physique has been short lived. I have noticed more and more that those friends of mine who, for physiological or personal preference, do not fit this hairy mold are being cast aside and deemed just not manly enough. Having many friends tell me that they wish they could grow facial hair or chest hair like mine takes me back to when I would have given anything to have been naturally smooth. Seeing them now the victims of physical ridicule is not the satisfying feeling I once thought it would be. Now while having a physical trait you are especially attracted to is fine, it is quite another thing to then also tear apart those who do not meet your standard of what’s attractive. I now find myself desiring not a gay world where hairy men are on a pedestal, but rather one where all body types are equally respected and appreciated. Now please do not accuse me of asking you to change what you find attractive. I’m not telling you who you should sleep with, that is not my purpose here. I am however asking you to respect the physical diversity that exists in our community. I am asking you to understand that while you may not be attracted to a certain type of man, that that does not mean that he is not beautiful in his own right. I am asking you to acknowledge that that (hairy, hairless, bigger, muscular, skinny) guy standing at the bar, while he may not be your type, is most assuredly the most beautiful man in the eyes of another. I am asking you to truly practice what our community has preached for so long. I am asking you to celebrate the beautiful diversity that makes our community so amazing and so strong. I am asking you to acknowledge that, like our community, beauty is something that defies any attempt to label it.

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WE ARE PART OF THE BEAR NATION! by Michael Weidrich, CommUNITY Editor

I kicked off the conversation by asking when and where did the Bear “movement” begin. Like the chief of a tribe, Jim gathered us round and began to tell a bear tale. Born in 1970’s San Francisco, the Bear movement began as a reaction to the typical gay male image of the time- hairless, muscle-buffed, “twinkie”. During the AIDS epidemic of the 1980’s, Bear culture was looked at as not being affected because they looked healthy and hearty. But in turn created the first sexpositive culture in spite of AIDS with activities such as Bear Hug parties to be emotionally and physically positive. Research notes that the term “Bear” in this context dates back to 1966. Walt Whitman is referred to in a lot of writings as the proto-Bear, as he embodied many of the ideals that are now ascribed to bears. The foremost cultural influence that led to the emergence of the Bear culture was the Radical Faeire Movement but while the RFM sprung from country and rural life, Bear culture emerged from a gay mecca and tends to imbibe the values of urban gay life. Jim continued his story from the local page. The Albany bear community organized in the 1990’s an has been fervently active ever since with weekend’s of activities occurring every few months, drawing in hundreds of bears from around the northeast. Jim gives ROCK’s much praise and gratitude for being the home of the local Bear events and their ongoing support. Mike chimed in saying that there is a bear event every weekend somewhere in the world and even in the Northeast. It is not uncommon for Bears to travel every weekend to participate in bear events. I was struck by the level of organization of the bear community, for a group that doesn’t have a political agenda.

CommUNITY: How old were you when you came out as a bear and how long have you been a part of the bear community? Jim Larson: By the time this arrives in homes, I will have turned 40, I have been a member of the Bear community for 15 years -- though my parents nicknamed me Bear at age 3.

Joe Bernstein: I came out as a gay man at the age of 17, already aware that I fit the term “bear.” I discovered the bear community the next year and came out as a bear just before turning 19. I have been an active member of the community for the three years since. CommUNITY: Within the bear umbrella, there are cubs, wolfs, otters (am I forgetting anyone?). What do you identify as? Depending on what you identify as, what does being a bear/ cub/otter/wolf/etc. mean to you?

Jim Larson & Mike Richter

On a gorgeous Saturday afternoon in April, I met with some Bears at a local gay drinking establishment to find out more about the Bear community. The king of all bears, Jim Larson, kindly gathered his brethren to participate in the conversation that included Mike Richter, Mike Bear and later Georgie Latourette and Joe Bernstein.

Georgie Latourette: I moved back to Albany from San Francisco almost six years ago. For the past four and a half years, I’ve been helping organize and run Bear Albany. As for when I joined the Bear Community, that’s a little trickier. I came out in 1989 at the age of 19. It was a rough time because a lot of gay men were dying of AIDS, fear bashings of gay men were becoming a regular thing around the country, and “bears” didn’t really exist as a community. Over the next few years I dated on and off, but there was no home or safe haven for men like myself. Sure there were others who were also attracted to furry beefy men, but the greater gay community frowned upon it and made fun of anyone who didn’t look like (or was attracted to) men with chiseled shaved chests, floppy hair, and that generic gay West Hollywood look. This led to a lot of bullying within the gay community in the early 90s. But through that agony, the Bear Community eventually emerged. By 1995, Bears were a semi-organized group in San Francisco and New York was on it’s way. My partner and I wound up moving to SF from Albany that year, and watched it grow around us into the fullfledged Bear Community we know today. Mike Richter: Probably not until I was 30 - I really didn’t know there was a bear community

JL: I’m a big bear, sometimes a Daddy bear. It is just a label; I think being part of the bear community is the love, friendship, care, and compassion that we share GL: Personally I identify as a cub. I was called that by someone at the Lonestar shortly after we moved to SF. When I thought about it, I had to agree because I’ve always been funny, playful, and supportive. But I also fight to protect my friends, family, and community. As for names like otters, wolves, and whatever animals people like to make up, they never existed in the bear world we came from and I DO NOT like them at all. Nearly everyone I know who was labeled as an otter or wolf has felt like they were being rejected because they weren’t big enough, hairy enough, or whatever-enough to be one of the bears. The Bear Community was founded on the idea of acceptance. This was very different from the larger gay community who wanted us to look more like them. It was never supposed to matter what your shape or size was, if you were hairy or hairless, nor your color or creed mattered. So why suddenly call someone out on their physical characteristics? For me, otter and wolf are just terms of segregation, whereas Bears & Cubs are more of a state of mind. And because I want people to feel equal and welcome within our community, I refuse to use terms like otter or wolf. MR: Bear. A Bear or Cub or whatever in my opinion is a state of mind and a community. Not everyone that identifies as a Bear or cub fit the strict definition but if that is what you feel you want to identify as then that’s fine with me.

CommUNITY: Are you in a relationship and if so, are you dating someone else from the bear community? JL: dated

currently a cub

single, for 8

but years

GL: Yes, I am married to my partner of over 20 years, Paul. We met at a bar in Albany called Deceptions 1994, which was nicknamed Depressions by nearly everyone I knew at the time. I cruised Paul from the cigarette machine (remember those?), we went on a few dates, and have been together ever since. He is also a member of the Bear Community, but he’s never really identified as a bear, cub, or anything in particular. He’s always just been my Paul.

larly we’re also constantly evolving with the larger gay community and you’ll find that we’re gay, straight, bi, trans, lesbian, queer, and everything under the sun. It’s like a big party and everyone is welcome! MR: The bear community here seems to be (obviously there are exceptions) open, friendly, and community centered. I think there is a lot less pressure to live up to a “super model” look... and beards. JB: What makes the bear community special to me is that it is a group of people with whom I can much more easily connect. Not only is it the group I am attracted to, but bears are a diverse and inclusive group that tends to have more masculine interests that I can relate to. By not fitting the perfectly chiseled model body type, bears also tend to be less superficial than others. It’s also a fairly large international group that is still small enough that you’re likely to run into other bears you know at any bear gathering across the country.

CommUNITY: In your opinion, what makes the bear community special/different from the gay community at large?

Georgie Latourette

MR: Dating - mainly with people who are in the bear community but may not identify as a bear or cub etc.

JL: The hugs! and having friends all over the world -- also Bear events never run out of food GL: After sharing a little bit of my prior experience with the Bear Community, (not to mention the fact that I always use capital letters when spelling it) it’s safe to say that it will always been extremely special to me. Mostly because I fully understand what we represent and I know I have a safe haven anywhere I visit through the Bear Community. We’re very different from other parts of the gay community in that not only is our core values acceptance and unity, but we actually try to practice it. Sure, you occasionally get some bad eggs, mean girls, or “spice bears” as I like to call them. But they usually just need to be reminded that we’re all in this together and that our primary goal is to ensure everyone feels comfortable and can be themselves around us with no judgment. It’s very much like local Gay Community Centers, but instead we have a wide global presence (pun intended). In fact, there are charity events like Bear Albany happening worldwide every weekend of the year, and often in multiple cities on some weekends. Simi-

CommUNITY: The bear community seems very tight locally and is well connected to other communities around the Northeast/nation/internationally. What do you see as the main reason for that? GL: There’s a certain comradery that comes with knowing that everyone is going to be cool with you before you walk in the door. These days, nearly every place you travel to has a Bear Community, which can often be contacted ahead of time to see what’s going on the weekend you visit. Or when you find the place where the bears hang out, you know you can walk in the door and have a beer just like you’re one of the local boys and girls.

nity, especially for a city of its size. Albany itself is a very gay-friendly city situated among many large cities in all directions, and unlike the large cities, it allows for a unified group of friends. The local bears know one another pretty well, and that’s why we welcome the visitors who travel from all over the northeast to Bear Albany events. We attract men from western NY, northeast PA, NYC, Long Island, MA, CT, Providence, and Canada, who all like to meet in Albany’s central location and see one another. Some of Bear Albany’s regulars are also the regulars and organizers of their own local groups and that gives us good connections throughout the northeast. CommUNITY: This article is meant to introduce the bear community to the broader LGBTQ/allied community of the Capital Region. What is the one thing you want people to know about the bear community/being a bear? JL: All are welcome! Hairy? ok. Not hairy? ok. Big? ok. Small? ok. Trans? ok. Differing abilities? ok. Different colors? No issue. Just get ready to be hugged. GL: The biggest take away that I think everyone should realize about Bears is that, like nerds we may have started out as the “rejects of the gay community”, but now we’re a massive and diverse worldwide community. Where everyone is equal, welcome, and can be themselves without fear of rejection. MR: Bear events are welcoming so don’t be afraid to come see what they are all about. JB: One thing I’d like the outsiders to know is that pretty often I hear someone say, “I’m into bears but bears aren’t into me.” The bear community is full of people who don’t fit the stereotypes of a bear but still share some connection with the community nonetheless. Not all bears are attracted to bears and vice versa. We’re an inclusive group of all shapes and sizes and if you have any interest in the community we’d be happy to have you.

MR: I think the Bear events like Bear week in Provincetown, TBRU, etc. bring the community from all over the US and the world together and bears tend to maintain those friendships over time

Joe Bernstein

JB: I identify myself as a cub. To me it means I am a younger, smaller version of a bear, and I see myself eventually identifying as a bear in the future. I don’t like to read too far into subidentities, as they are highly subjective and at times unnecessarily restrictive.

JB: Albany has a strong bear commu-

BE A PART OF IT

If you’re reading this about when this issue of CommUNITY was released, PRIDE Week is just a month away. The month of June is nationally recognized as LGBT Pride Month, and our festivities in the Capital region are no exception, beginning June 5 and culminating in the Capital PRIDE Parade presented by Walgreens and 2014 PRIDE Festival on Saturday, June 14. Our excitement for PRIDE Week is compounded by our enthusiasm for featuring our parade and festival on a Saturday for the first time in the history of Capital PRIDE.

The parade, led as always by the amazing youth march, steps off at noon in Washington Park and will be full of colorful floats, enthusiastic marchers (certain to be handing out lots of goodies,) music and so much more. The Capital PRIDE Parade presented by Walgreens will feature elected officials supporting the LGBT community, businesses and organizations, families and friends of the LGBT community and a whole lot of fun. Following the parade, you can join us in Albany’s Washington Park for the 2014 PRIDE Festival. Last year we had

Rob Loren Hill

a record breaking 25,000 people at the festival and expect even more this year! Featuring musical performances, community organizations, vendors, kidfriendly activities (for kids of all ages), fire eaters, face painters, all kinds of foods and drinks, and so much more... the PRIDE festival is a great, familyfriendly celebration of our Capital Region LGBT communities. Be a part of this celebration and join us at one of the most anticipated and loved parades and festivals of the year.

With all these PRIDE happenings coming so soon, the time to plan is now! PRIDE Week can only happen with the help of countless community members who march in the parade, represent their various organizations at the festival, and attend the week’s worth of events. Community members have been working since last summer to make this year’s celebration a success but there’s still more to be done. Have you written the events you want to go to on your calendar? Registered to enter the parade and festival? Planned your outfits for the week? (I have done all three.) Be a part of the parade and / or festival and show your pride while having

T HE F A S H I ONABLE AND T H E FRIVOLOUS

Mastering the Art of Manscaping

The hottest accessory of the year is not a backpack or a cape - it’s a simple patch of chest hair. Being that bears are the focus of this month’s Community, it seems a fitting time to talk about body hair. Personally, I’m all for it. It seems that in the past few years we’ve been inundated with hairless chests, destined for depilatory damnation, plucked as smooth as a baby’s bottom. (And I have to ask - why would we want to be anything like a baby’s bottom? That’s just plain gross.) Fortunately, the tide seems to be turning for the follicle, and it is, as always, led by our cutting-edge crowd. While our clothing has thankfully not returned to the 70’s, our manscaping tendencies have gone back to a by-

a great time (not to mention reaching thousands of people in the LGBTQA community). Registration is currently open and super easy to complete. You can download a complete registration form on the Pride Center’s website, www.capitalpridecenter.org/capitalpride. For prospective parade entrants and festival vendors, please be aware that all registrations are due May 16. If you’d like to be a part of the celebration as a volunteer, please be sure to join us at the volunteer recruitment party at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Ave., Albany) on May 7 at 6 PM. If you have any questions about registering or volunteering for PRIDE, do what I do and email Steven Minchin at sminchin@ capitalpridecenter.org. See you at PRIDE!

Rob Hill has been a volunteer for the Pride Center since 2010 and is in his second year as Co-Chair of the Pride Planning Committee.

Al an Bennet Il agan

gone era, with chest hair being all the rage, and beards and even mustaches finding mainstream popularity again. Part of it is thanks to hipster retro trends, part of it is an embracing of a more rugged look, and part of it is thanks to hirsute men like rugby star and straight ally Ben Cohen, or the latest Superman, Henry Cavill, who have proudly displayed their furry features to great acclaim. Celebrities like Hugh Jackman, Jason Statham, and Mark Ruffalo sport hairy chests in their movies, with occasional peeks showing through the tops of their collars on the red carpet. Like the gentlemen who grow it, body hair varies infinitely from guy to guy, and the amount you want to cultivate depends only on what your body deigns to give you, and how you choose to manscape it. For those who are more comfortable with a slightly more tailored look, use the clippers but use them sparingly. With the advent of all the metrosexual collegiate guys going hairless, a number of clippers and

shaving devices have hit the market, allowing for much better precision and control over the length of body hair. Start with a longer-length setting and gradually work down to what looks best on you. A little trim and upkeep is nice – no one wants to fight a forest to have some fun down there – but prune judiciously. It’s easier to take a bit more off than put some back on. More and more men are getting comfortable with what nature gave them. The good news is that this signals a return to something more natural, less refined, and decidedly less chickenlike. There will always be a place for nubile, hairless twinks – and the province of youth is largely a hairless one – but it’s nice to see a growing appreciation of those of us who are a bit – or a lot – more hairy. In that spirit, cherish your chest hair, find freedom in your furry fanny, and embrace your burgeoning back thatch. Ask any bald guy, what’s hair today could be gone tomorrow. Alan is a freelance writer and photographer.

THE NEW GAME CHANGER IN STIs: ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANCE

Steve Hendrickson, Health Enrollment Coordinator

We all know the danger of sexually transmitted infections or STIs. It is nothing new. If a person is sexually active, there is always a risk of catching an STI. Prevention messages have been out there for decades and STIs have plagued human history since the dawn of time. The age of antibiotics brought a new face of treatment for most STIs, at least for the bacterial ones. To review, the most common bacterial STIs that are treatable with antibiotics are chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. The viral STIs are herpes simplex virus (HSVII or genital herpes), human papilloma virus (HPV or genital warts) and HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). There is no cure for the viral STIs, but there are effective treatments to help people cope with the infections, symptoms and to minimize the chances of transmission. Prevention methods such as abstinence, condoms, barrier methods and limiting the number of sexual partners work very well in preventing transmission of both bacterial and viral STIs. With all this progress we have made in the war against STIs, there are signs that the battle is shifting out of our favor. A new term has crept onto the scene and it is changing the landscape of bacterial STIs. Antibiotic resistance. In recent years we have seen more and more information about the over-use of antibiotics to treat everything from strep throat to bacterial STIs. Our society is obsessed with the use of daily products to reduce the transmission of germs and bugs. There is nothing wrong with proper hygiene such as washing hands, covering your mouth/nose when you cough/sneeze and staying home from work or school when you are sick. There have been studies that show a direct correlation to the increase in allergies and common bacterial infections linked to the overuse of antibiotics and antibiotic cleaners. In short, the use of these products cause the bacteria to mutate and develop resistance to our weapons to fight them. Bacteria reproduce at a much faster rate and as they are constantly exposed to antibiotics they are able to mutate in ways that make them resistant to medications.

In the case of bacterial STIs, there has been a steady increase in reports of antibiotic resistant strains of chlamydia and gonorrhea reported world-wide. In most cases, chlamydia and gonorrhea can be â&#x20AC;&#x153;curedâ&#x20AC;? with a single dose of antibiotics. This is no longer the case. There are reports of people and clusters of people being infected with chlamydia or gonorrhea, in some cases both at the same time, and not responding to traditional antibiotic treatments. To complicate matters, many times people do not have any symptoms and spread the STI to other partners without knowing it. By the time symptoms do appear, the infection may have already done permanent damage and if traditional antibiotics are not curing the infection it can lead to severe complications and even death. In cases where traditional antibiotics do not cure chlamydia or gonorrhea, the infected person will have the area of infection (mouth, penis, vagina or anus) cultured to determine if the STI is indeed antibiotic resistant. If tests reveal that the person is infected with an antibiotic resistant strain of an STI, then they will be given an aggressive treatment regime to treat the infection(s). This will often include being admitted to the hospital and given potent last line antibiotics intravenously. Recently there have been reports of antibiotic resistant strains of chlamydia and gonorrhea around New York State, including the Capital Region. The reports usually happen in clusters of people and those infected

are not responding to first line antibiotic treatments. The clusters of people infected can reach dozens of people or more, especially if there are no symptoms and a history of unprotected sex with multiple partners. It is important that all partners get tested and treated to ensure that people in these clusters do not get re-infected. This still raises the scary possibility that in the near future these once easily treated STIs will become chronic and untreatable. The facts are that HIV and STIs are a fact of life. We cannot become complacent and we must realize that we are all affected by HIV and STIs. Prevention is key to making sure STIs are not transmitted. Seeing the increase of antibiotic resistance to all sorts of diseases is alarming and we are running out of options for effective treatments and cures for once treatable STIs. This is not just something we are seeing in the news about some far off place, but it is happening in our community here in the Capital District. It is up to each person to make informed choices, be educated and know the facts. Take care of yourself and each other. Steve Hendrickson is the Healthcare Enrollment Coordinator for the Pride Center of the Capital Region. Steve has an extensive background doing HIV/STI testing, pre and post-test counseling, outreach, community education, advocacy and referrals. Steve began doing HIV Peer Education since high school and continued on through college and into his professional career. He has been active in HIV/STI and LGBTQ work in the Capital Region for almost 15 years.

Pride 5K Run/Walk Sunday, June 8th, 2014 Washington Park Albany, NY 5K Chair: Joe Benny 8:00 AM: Registration Pre-registration: $20 Race day registration: $25

9:00 AM: 5K Run/Walk 10:00 AM: Fun Run (.6 miles, all ages) Join us for the 7th Annual PRIDE 5K during Capital PRIDE 2014! The 5K run/walk begins at 9 AM at the Washington Park Lake House and the course will wind through the park before ending back at the Lake House. Prizes will be awarded to the top 3 participants in 3 categories (female, male and open gender). Sponsored by Bank of America and the City of Albany as part of Capital PRIDE 2014. 19

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Bank of America

Washington Park, Albany, NY

Pride 5K Entry Form

Registrant Information Please complete one registration per participant. Deadline is Monday, May 26, 2014

Team Information

Name:

All team members must register individually. Each participant may only register as part of one team.

Address: City/State/Zip:

Team Name:

Phone: E-mail: Age on race day:

Will you be finding sponsors for your run?

Category in which you will be running/walking (circle one):

Team Contact:

Female

Male

Open (all gender)

T-shirt size (pre-registered participants will receive a t-shirt, circle one)

(Name)

XXL

Registration Fee (non-refundable)

(Phone)

$20 $25 day of race Check enclosed: Please make payable to: Pride Center of the Capital Region

(E-mail)

MasterCard - Visa Card #:

Waiver & Release Statement: Please read & sign

Registration is also available at Active.com (fees apply) OR Please send signed and completed registration form to: Pride Center of the Capital Region 332 Hudson Ave Albany, NY 12210 Questions? Call the Pride Center at: Phone: (518) 462-6138

Exp:

In consideration of this entry, being accepted, I hereby for myself, heirs, executors and administrators waive and release any claims that I may have against the Capital District Gay & Lesbian Community Council or any of the sponsors involved in the 2014 Run/Walk for Pride. I certify that I am physically able to participate in this event.

Signature:

Date:

Signature of Parent/Guardian (if under 18):

Fax: (518) 462-2101 Join us for the 7th Annual Run/Walk for PRIDE 5K during Capital PRIDE 2014! Sponsored by Bank of America and the City of Albany as part of Capital PRIDE 2014. Race Information: Registration: 8 AM - Race Begins: 9 AM - Length: 5K (3.1 miles) Start & Finish Site: Washington Park Lake House, Albany NY Course Description: Within Washington Park (Mixed Terrain) For more information about the Bank of America Pride 5K and Capital PRIDE 2014, you can visit our website at www.capitalpridecenter.org

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OUT IN THE GARDEN

Judith Fetterley

Everything Changes on April 1 Spring brings new life and insights to Judith’s garden Remember Eliot Spitzer and “Everything changes on Day One!” Unfortunately it didn’t take too long before we realized not much had changed. For gardeners, however, there really is a day when everything changes. For me that day is April 1. That is the day when I officially switch from winter mode to garden season mode. I get up earlier. I am attuned to the nuances of the weather. I call and order compost. I don’t begin the day at the computer, I go outside. I prune, I edge, I move mulch, I transplant, and after a few hours the transformation has taken place and I have morphed into my gardening self. Of course, sometimes I am fooled and April 1 comes in cold and wet (snowing?); then I clean the garage and wait for that first whiff of spring air that sends me spinning. I do love the early days of spring even though I am always afraid that first day out that I won’t remember how to do garden work. I love the way the dirt smells as it begins to dry out from the winter sog; I love the sight of robins on the lawn in broad daylight yanking worms; I love the honks of geese, the real geese who fly south in the fall and north in the spring, tiny dots way up in the sky. And I love the spring chores. Raking leaves from my garden beds, I feel like I am scratching the scalp of the earth, giving it a good and stimulating

comb. Edging the beds gives them a trim. It is still a bit early for the worst of the weeds, and most of the plants are barely up, so when I cover the raked and edged beds with a 1” layer of compost, they look tidy and finished, and give no hint of the work they mean for me in the future. In spring I get to prune. I love removing branches that are badly placed or damaged to promote my plants’ good health, but I love even more to use pruning as a mode of design, sculpting my trees or shrubs to have the look I want. And I love to transplant in April. I love to thrust my hands into the very wet often still-chilled soil, grab a soggy plant by its soggy, soggy roots, and move it, still half asleep, to its new home. I love the deeper rhythms of this life as well. There is something mythic, Persephone-like, about emerging from the house and going outside on a given day of the year, fulfilling a promise to one’s mother to once again bring life to the world. This year, though, the promise is to Sara who wants a vegetable garden. I cleared an area last fall for this purpose, but town zoning regulations, discovered only after the fact, have nixed this option. To start this new life, I have to dig up a lot of old life. But that’s a deeper rhythm too. I will miss my winter life with its chance to see friends whenever I wish, not just when the weather allows; with

its long afternoon naps; with its new and fun projects. And each year I face the season with a bit more trepidation than last – can I really do the work that faces me, will my body hold out, will I find someone to treat my blue spruces which have been diagnosed with needle cast disease? Each year I make the same resolution – to build the rhythm of my year into the rhythm of my days, to work and rest, work and rest, work and rest. Ah, but will I fulfill this promise to myself? Driving home on I-90 last night, I see the sign: Road Work to Begin on April 7. I recall the conventional joke that the roads have two seasons – winter and construction. I would love to have a big blinking orange sign to put in front of my house that says: Garden Work to Begin on April 1. Somehow I doubt that Sara would approve, but at least my neighbors would know that everything has changed for me. P.S. I just got my first email from the co-ordinator of the Master Gardener demonstration gardens in Vorheesville. I guess I am not the only one to wake up on April 1 a changed person.

Judith Fetterley owns and manages Perennial Wisdom, design consultation for new and existing gardens. Visit Judith’s website at Perennialwisdom.net or contact her directly at jf@perennialwisdom.net.

Dedicated to inclusiveness & social justice for the LGBT Community

First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Ave., Troy 12180 272-2771

See website for Holy Week & Easter Services: www.unitedprestroy.org 10 AM Sunday Service Rainbow flags in the sanctuary & outside

TO BE A BLESSING

Audrey Seidman

Opening the Flaps of Our Tents This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions.

I sometimes feel hospitality challenged. My kitchen is the size of a postage stamp, and entertaining makes me anxious. This limitation hasn’t served me well. I waver between wanting to improve my hosting abilities and accepting this as a weakness and hoping my friends will appreciate my very simple or purchased pot-luck offerings and other capacities for sharing. Yet, hospitality is about much more than cooking and putting on a nice dinner party; it can be deep spiritual work. It is about invitation, about welcome, about taking the time to consider the needs of others and how we can help to meet them. In my tradition of Judaism, “letting in guests,” or “hahnassat orchim,” is one of the 613 “mitzvot” or guidelines for living. Rabbi Goldie Milgram reminds us that it is about living, like our ancestor Abraham who invited in three wanderers for nourishment, “with the flaps of the tent of your life up and open, being aware and receptive.” Our Pride Center of the Capital Region itself has attended over the years to becoming a more welcoming place itself, for women, then for People of Color, for people with disabilities, and for bi, trans and other non-binary queeridentified people. Our use of language is one of the primary signals of welcome. Learning how to be more welcoming is a critical and continuous process. Over the past few decades, we in the LGBTQ community have experienced an increasing sense of welcome in our religious institutions. We have seen many signs that our congregations and larger institutions are doing this important spiritual work. Organizationally, it is a process that requires both “executive support” and grassroots activism.

Consider the significance of the words last summer of Pope Francis, when asked about homosexuality: “If they accept the Lord and have good will, who am I to judge them? They shouldn’t be marginalized.” And in March, the Pope indicated support for same-sex civil unions. These appear to point towards the evolution (yes, always a slow process) of a more gentle, more welcoming institutional church. And there are many Catholic churches in the Capital Region and elsewhere that have a long history of welcome to the LGBTQ community. Indeed, in January I attended a retreat at the Franciscan Center in Tampa, and was delighted to attend their weekly Sunday evening LGBT mass, singing “My Soul is Welcome Here.” I asked one of the congregants how long this had been going on; I was shocked at the answer: 35 years! The President of the Union for Reform Judaism recently challenged his membership to practice “audacious hospitality” with the” LGBTQ community, multi-racial Jews, Jews with disabilities and Gen X and Millennials – including all those who do not identify as part of the religious community.“ To him, this means more than welcoming them into our synagogues, but also actively learning from them. Welcome means understanding and doing what we can to respond to the needs and interests of each person. It is about inquiry. What do you need to access the building? Are there things you cannot eat? What is the best way to communicate with you? What do you need to be comfortable? More than practicing my skills at cooking and hosting, I can continue to practice the art of hospitality by asking and doing what I can to respond. What does it mean for us to create a welcoming LGBTQ community, or communities of faith? We’ll ponder some of these questions together and try to practice what we preach at the Interfaith Pride Service celebrated annually by

Advocates for Welcoming Congregations. Join us on Sunday, June 8, 4-6 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church of Albany to explore and experience the meaning of welcome. Teach us what you know. We’ll sing together “My Soul is Welcome Here.” Audrey Seidman has been the curator of this series of “To Be a Blessing” columns for more than five years. She offers a monthly spiritual direction group for members of the LGBTQ community and welcomes inquires at seidmanaudrey@yahoo.com or 459-0661.

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PRIDE WEEK EVENT INTERFAITH PRIDE SERVICE AND RECEPTION SUNDAY, JUNE 8, 4-6 P.M. FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF ALBANY, 362 STATE STREET JOIN ADVOCATES FOR WELCOMING CONGREGATIONS FOR OUR ANNUAL INTERFAITH PRIDE CELEBRATION WHERE WE WILL EXPLORE -AND EXPERIENCE -THE MEANING OF WELCOME WITH PRAYER, SONG AND FOOD. Be a Part of It Pride Week kicks off Thurs. 6/5/14 & culminates with the Largest PRIDE in upstate New York’s Parade & PRIDE Festival on Saturday 6/14/14

HIGHWAY (A COMING OUT STORY) by Troy O’Neill A highway surrounded St. Thomas the Apostle. If you threw your basketball over the playground’s fence, it would be lost forever. The traffic moved so fast that if you ran out of the parking lot, you would die. Its sirens and horns were lances to our sides, blood and water wept out, reminding us that even our small catholic school was subject to reality. No God could protect us from its truth. I was in seventh grade, suffocating because there were small statues of the Virgin Mary mounted on the wall in every room. She, like Jesus next to her, was nailed in and immobile. She read the pain in my eyes but wouldn’t answer any of my prayers. God was quiet on this one as well. If they knew what I was about to do, they would have been shaking their heads in shame. That day, I wrote my best friend Hannah a letter telling her that I was gay. I decided to be unforgiving; she could accept my new identity or we couldn’t be friends. I passed her the note in Spanish class; she never got back to me. She told me in homeroom the next day that her father had told her that I didn’t have to be gay if I didn’t want to be. She said that we could still be friends, but that she would never believe me. I agreed. In the back of my head, I saw Jesus limp on the cross. Did he die for her or for me? The Virgin Mary was still silent. Later that spring I would tell my mom in a car ride home from school. She would say that I was too young, that I didn’t know what I was talking about. I told her I was gay a second time later that summer. A third time mid-eighth grade. I was insistent. She wondered why it was so important. A highway divided us. My mother, friends, town, church, and school were on one side, I was on the other. We couldn’t meet each other halfway—the cars were too fast; crossing the highway was certain death. I had never been so lonely. The first time I saw another openly gay person was in high school. I had left Saint Thomas and learned how to cut out parts of myself to satisfy others.

He wore Abercrombie & Fitch, ripped jeans like he was cool, and talked loudly. He told me that he was out to everyone who knew him, that being gay even opened the door to getting a job. After meeting him, I began going to a support group for LGBTQ youth. I met heroin addicts, a homeless trans couple, and a chain-smoking teenager who was going to mortuary school. For an hour and a half each week, the highway seemed to quiet. Later in freshman year, my mother proclaimed that she loved me for who I was. Her body was saturated with emotion. I was so heavy I sat on the floor. I said thank you, but something felt wrong. Was that what I had been waiting for? What was so important about my mother’s acceptance if I still asked God to make me straight? I have always fought against the pressure of society, and have felt alone because I could never fit in. At the same time, it was impossible for others to accept me while I was still conflicted about my identity. Accepting myself meant changing my perspective. I had to recognize myself as someone with something to contribute to society instead of someone with something to hide. I decided that it was time to cross the highway. I took everyone by surprise. I started a student action group, the Awareness Committee, figuring that I wasn’t the only one struggling against our social institutions of ignorance. Twentyfive students and I would engage our community in a thoughtful dialogue built around the acceptance and awareness of issues faced by local youth. The group made up twenty percent of my small school and collaborated with the AntiDefamation League and a local college to maximize reach. That year we hosted two foreign doctors jailed in Iran for providing treatment to HIV/AIDS patients in a human rights symposium, a series of public film screenings on race in society, and supported LGBTQ students through activities in National Coming Out Week, the Day of Silence, and Pride Month. This

was just the beginning; I now had the ability and means to make real change. I could be proud of my identity. For the first time, I realized my future. I came out for the last time in December of ninth grade. Like everything at that time, it started as a Facebook status. After I posted it, I could imagine everyone in my school tapping at their keyboards, shocked and disgusted. I kept refreshing my screen. Nothing happened. The next day, no one came running up to me. There was no one behind me whispering. I had grown up with ahighway like a crown of thorns around my head, and when it disappeared, I had expected a parade to take place. While the conflict was very real, if my denial of my own sexuality had been in my head this whole time, then why had I been drowning all these years? That moment the highway disappeared. The next year I would travel to schools in my region with a group of local leaders, giving presentations on bullying prevention, being an ally, and creating safe schools. To date, I have worked with middle schoolers who never knew what being gay was, and high school students who were having trouble coming out to their family. Connecting with other youth in my region has been self- actualizing to me; I have realized I have been placed on this earth to make a difference, and that I will always find empowerment in helping others. I now see how much I have grown since I began accepting myself. I have taken my weaknesses and made them strengths. I have used the social institutions around me to unite with others and join them in the struggle against all forms of oppression. I am proud of who I am and know that I have so much promise for the future. In a small way, I have already changed the world. Troy is a member of the Pride Center’s Center Youth Action Team and senior at Tech Valley High. He has taught spoken word, curated a youth art show, and organized safe sex and HIV/AIDS awareness initiatives in his school. Troy believes being socially active is one of the most important things we can do.

GENDERF*CK

Drew Cordes

The Effect of Class on Identity and Gender

Drew shares their experiences and insights into the direct intersection of social status, gender, identity and access. I’ve been thinking more and more lately about the effect class has had on my gender. We tend to think of gender (those of us who do often ponder it) as very personal - an expression of identity that is fundamental to the core of our being. Yet, when I think about where I am in my self-understanding and self-acceptance, as well as how I got here, my relationship with my gender becomes less intimate, personal and direct, and more practical, lucky - a product of the same system we often perceive ourselves as opposing. Let’s examine this by working backward. I am Drew Cordes, genderqueer, currently 32 years of age, and happy with my gender identity expression. After 30 years, I finally feel I’m the person I should be. How did I get here? I have had multiple surgeries; I take prescription drugs; I have endured hours upon hours of electrolysis; I’ve had voice modulation lessons/therapy; I’ve spent many hours talking (and some just blankly staring) with a therapist who specializes in gender transition. I know (I don’t “believe,” I know) that I would not be who/where/what I am right now if not for all those things, and more. I am the end; those were the means. How did I come to have access to those means, though? Money is the easy

answer, but that explanation is reductive. Raw spending power and cash flow is certainly one way to access those things, but the reflexive focus on wealth as the answer ignores how one achieves wealth, in its various forms. A more accurate (albeit still fairly reductive) answer is class. The means to my end were accessible to me through social standing. Make no mistake - I am not rich, and I do not come from a rich family. What I am is middle class, white, and the only child of somewhat upper middle class parents. This grants me certain privilege - privilege that many people like me don’t recognize because we’re born into the world with it as our “normal.” This is where a lot of those in the “majority” (white/cis/straight/etc.) freak out and say “Hey, I’m not privileged. I work hard to provide for myself and my family. I don’t have a silver spoon. Nobody handed me anything.” Quite right. I’m not saying there are no hardships and that being white and middle class is a 24/7 happy-hour boat cruise. Everybody has hardships; the difference is merely that if you’re white and middle class, statistics show that chances are you have fewer and/ or less threatening problems than someone who’s black and lower class. Let’s examine just one facet of my gender transition, and break down the role my privilege played. One of my surgeries cost $20,000. I don’t have that kind of money, but I did have health insurance. Because of that, it cost me $240 (not counting travel expenses, etc.). I had health insurance because I had a good, professional job. I had a good, professional job because I made the most of a good education in a relatively stable environment. My education and positive environment was made possible by my parents, who could

provide it because they earned a comfortable living. And in turn, they earned a comfortable living themselves because of the educations and positive environments provided by their parents, etc., etc. You get the idea. This is class - privilege perpetuated through the generations. As much as I should thank all the medical professionals I’ve worked with, I should also thank my grandparents and greatgrandparents for working hard and raising their children with opportunities to do even better than they did. I’m the beneficiary of all that work, after all. I should also thank my lucky stars they were white. If I were black or Latin or the child of immigrants would I be where I am? Race and ethnicity basically decided where you could work and what you could provide for your family back in the days of my grandparents and great-grandparents. Even today it still routinely factors in who gets hired where, and educational inequality across race lines is prevalent. If my father was black would he have made it to optometry school? The class privileges he enjoyed might not have been there in that case. And if they weren’t, would I have had access to the various forms of care and assistance that I required? Where would I stand with myself and my gender then? A slight change in profession alters everything. If I instead grew up and worked in retail or the restaurant industry ... well, no more health insurance. No more surgery. No more counseling. Maybe I could afford hormones, but as I said before, I’m positive that every medical treatment I received was necessary to make me the person I should be, the person I am. Without the care I received, I’d still be despairing, if I were alive at all. I’m finally fulfilled in my gender identity, and it was a long, arduous, process of intense personal confrontation. However, I can’t ignore that my class and race (and the privilege inherent in each) made that confrontation possible. Albany resident Drew Cordes identifies as queer, trans*, and genderqueer, and is a part of the trans* social group Transgender Advocates of the Capital Region.

ASK MARK YOUR TAX QUESTIONS Dear Mark, I sold my home in 2011. I figured I had a loss on it and did not put it on my tax return. I also did not file a New York State tax return for that year. They just sent me a letter asking me for it and sent me a bill. The IRS sent me a bill for a huge amount. What do I do? Signed, Nightmare in Cohoes Dear Nightmare, If you lived in that home for 2 of the 5 previous years and did not use the home for business or rental (your letter does not state if you did or didn’t) then the first two thousand dollars of gain is nontaxable if you are single, or five hundred thousand dollars of gain if you are married (with a few exceptions). Even if you lived in the home for less than 2 of the 5 years, there are some special exceptions that exempt you from that portion of the gain previously mentioned. I would suggest contacting me so I can write the IRS a letter explaining the situation and filing a form showing how long you lived in the house, what your cost plus improvements are, what your selling price is, and if the gain is excludable. Your New York State tax return should be filed immediately. =========================== Dear Mr. Mark Witecki, I work in New York City but I don’t live in New York City. My employer is taking New York City taxes out of my pay. Am I liable for those City taxes? If not, how do I get them back? Signed, Goodbye City Life

Dear Goodbye , If you are truly a non-resident of the City, you are not liable for NYC taxes. When you file your returns you can indicate that you are NOT a city resident. The city tax portion of your withholdings should result in a refund providing that your state withholding is sufficient to satisfy any NY State liability. Ask your employer to not withhold the taxes. =========================== Dear Mark Witecki, I am a performing artist. In fact, I am a drag queen. I make good money but I seem to have no deductions. I am told that I cannot deduct makeup etc. I am self employed. Sign me, What a Drag! Dear What a Drag, As a self-employed drag queen you are entitled to deduct any expense considered “ordinary and necessary” to your business. This would include makeup, costumes , professional services such as manicures and pedicures , singing lessons if singing is part of your act, acting lessons if that is helpful to your craft, networking expenses, props, and many other expenses. =========================== Dear Mark, My plumber did two jobs on my two family house. First he installed a commode in the rental unit and charged me sales tax. Then he fixed a leaky faucet and did not charge me sales tax. I asked him why one was taxable and the other was not, and he just said that’s how he has always done that. What gives? Sign me, Very curious Dear Very Curious, Actually your plumber has the situation in reverse. Although the purchase

EVENTS THINGS TO DO CONTESTS

Mark D. Witecki of a commode by itself is sales taxable, when there is an installation along with the purchase , it is in fact a capital improvements and NOT sales taxable. On the other hand , fixing a leaky faucet IS taxable as a repair. The New York State Department of Taxation website has wonderful publications on capital improvements, and in fact gives many instances of what is a repair and what is a capital improvement in many trades and occupations. =========================== Dear M D W , I gave my rabbi a one thousand dollar gift . Can i deduct that? Signed, Hopeful Dear Hopeful, Only gifts to 501c and certain other organizations qualify for deductibility and only if you itemize. There are other rules on gifts to individuals for business reasons, but the limits are small and the rules are specific. Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304. Mark D. Witecki specializes in small businesses and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y. Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™ practitioner, Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted to practice before the United States Tax Court. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. Mark’s office is located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady, New York and contacted at 346-4000. Lifestyle Photography is... Your Everyday, Your Important Moments, Your Once In A Lifetimes, Your Loved Ones. Lifestyle Photography for a Lifetime of Moments

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Here’s Guffman

Patrick White

“Sons” Up at ACT Aaron Holbritter has been making his mark on the local theater world, and chats with Patrick about that experience May brings Arthur Miller’s wrenching classic “All My Sons” to the Albany Civic Theatre stage at 235 Second Ave running from May 2nd to May 18th with one of the Capital Region’s finest actors behind the helm as director. Aaron Holbritter is proving himself to be an invaluable member of the theatrical community by producing gem after gem at this converted firehouse year after year-“Proof,” “The Farnsworth Invention,” “The Shape of Things,” usually in collaboration with his exceptional leading man Ian LaChance. Ask someone who’s seen any of Aaron’s past productions and they’ll tell you that what’s going on at ACT will be remembered as a highlight of this season winding down. I’m grateful to share an e-mail conversation with the man who asked me to do this column a couple of years ago. Selecting a play that you’re interested in directing for specific companies takes a lot of considerations into account. Can you talk about your process and what influenced your decision in submitting this play for ACT? It really just starts with the play first, and within that, the story. Is there a story here I want to tell? Once I’ve narrowed it down to two or three, I submit them to the theaters I think will best serve the play. And sometimes, the theater approaches me with a script they want to do and need a director for. That’s how I got involved with Sherlock at Schenectady Civic. Arthur Miller famously stated that all plays are the stories about the chickens coming home to roost. This play is set against the backdrop of manufacturing for the World War II effort, what chickens do you think are out there right now that makes this play reverberate? With “All My Sons”, I really became interested in the story from Chris’s perspective, the son, returned from war, wondering what it all means, the need to build a life, and of course, his relationship to his

father and the choices his father has made. You came straight off your successful run directing “Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure” which followed hard on the heels of spending all last summer on the boards at Lake George Dinner Theatre playing Victor Fleming in “Moonlight and Magnolias”...what keeps you going and what do you find are the different muscles necessary between acting and directing, how are they similar or different? When people ask if I prefer acting or directing I always say: “When I’m acting, what I really want to do is direct, and when I’m directing, what I really want to do is act.” It’s a little tongue in cheek, but also, a little bit true. As a director, I want to help my actors reach a place of truth in their characters. As an actor, I want the character I’m creating to best serve the story that the director wants to tell. Because of that, when I’m doing one, I’m very much thinking about the other. But the bottom line for me is, acting makes me a better director and directing makes me a better actor. Working in Capital Region community theatre puts you into contact with many people who work again and again and yet the scene is constantly growing and strengthening. Who’s in your cast? Who have you worked with previously and who are you working with the first time? The All My Sons team is about 50/50 people I’ve worked with before and people who I’m working with for the first time. Bill Daisak and Angie Potrikus, who play Joe and Kate Keller are both new, but I’ve known Angie for a few years and admired her work, and she was one of the first people I thought of for the role. I worked with Dave Cerutti, who plays George Deever, for the first time as the comic relief in Sherlock and I couldn’t wait to see him in a different type of role. Casey Polomaine, who plays Ann, has been my stage manager for numerous shows, and I’m thrilled we’ve been able to get her onstage, she has such wonderful presence. And, of course, there’s Ian LaChance, who plays Chris. You and Ian are a formidable team onstage and off, how many shows have you done together and what are the benefits of having

such a long and productive relationship? I first worked on stage with Ian in Curtain Call Theatre’s 2008 transgender drama “Looking for Normal”. We didn’t share any scenes, but in our downtime, I think we realized pretty quickly we had similar sensibilities about theater, a similar measure for what makes good theater great. Like me, it’s not enough for him to maybe get to play a part he’s always wanted to play, regardless if everything else is just mediocre. We want to know that the whole thing will be as good it can be. It’s funny, I directed Ian as Hal in Proof and Adam in in The Shape of Things, and in both those plays, as well as this one, he besieges another character to “be better.” It’s a challenge, I think, that we impart on one another, and if our works are a success, that’s probably the main reason why. What’s your previous experience with Arthur Miller and what do you hope audiences take away from this play? Until this, I’d only seen Miller’s Death of a Salesman and The Crucible. I hadn’t really thought that much about All My Sons until I had a conversation about the character of Chris which sparked me to re-read the play from a very different perspective. Sell me on Capital Region theatre. Why should I go out to these local houses to see these plays? I continue to see the area’s most talented artists finding ways to work together, and bringing out the best in each other. We’re a little tired of constantly being overshadowed by the New York City and Berkshire big guns. Our local professional and community theaters continue to combine bold choices with top notch execution, and great works will continue to thrive right in our backyards. What’s next for you? I’m cast in Theater Barn’s upcoming production of Agatha Christie’s Black Coffee this summer and I’m currently working with some of my ‘regulars’ on some very exciting and different upcoming projects. Big announcements coming soon, so Stay tuned! Patrick White is a Capital Region Actor who is currently performing in “Room Service” with Schenectady Civic Players May 2-11.

GAY AFFIRMATIVE PSYCHOTHERAPY: WHAT DOES IT MEAN? by

Historically, the field of psychotherapy has held negative views of LGBTQ people. It was only in the 1970s, that books appeared denouncing the ideology that gay, lesbian, and bisexual people had significantly more psychopathology than straight people. It was not until the mid-1990s that trans-positive books began to challenge the mental health community’s view of transgender people. It is hard for us to remember back to the oppression, bigotry, hatred of LGBQ people a few decades ago, and how that was created, supported, and institutionalized by the therapeutic establishment. I encourage people to look at local therapist and photographer Steven Dansky’s newly launched website to hear the voices of an older generation of LGBTQ people: OUTLoud -Oral History from LGBTQ Pioneers http://www.outloud-lgbtq.org/.

The publication of Don Clark’s Loving Someone Gay (1975) and Betty Berzon’s Positively Gay (1979) marked the first books written by out gay and lesbian psychotherapists. These books advocated the use of psychotherapeutic techniques to improve the lives of lesbian and gay people without stigmatizing them or regarding same-sex attraction as pathological. The psychotherapeutic community’s negative view of same-sex relationships was identified as a major culprit in exacerbating the problems faced by lesbian and gay people. Please note that bisexual or trans/gender identities were not addressed at all. Haworth Press, founded in 1978 by Bill Cohen was one of the first publishers of LGBTQ scholarly research, including the seminal Journal of Homosexuality. In 1982, published a groundbreaking issue titled Homosexuality and Psychotherapy: A Practitioner’s Handbook of Affirmative Models. Edited by John Gonsiorek, this issue included articles by such researchers and therapists as Eli Coleman and Martin Rochlin on psychotherapy with lesbian and gay clients. As a young scholar in the early 1980s, I could spend hours on a literary search and only find a handful of “gay”- related articles, and very few were “affirmative”; this issue was a true academic delight! One article, written by Alan Malyon, specifically used the term gay affirmative psychotherapy, introducing a new model that supported homosexual relationships

Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev

as inherently healthy and a normative expression of human sexuality. Gay affirmative therapy is based on certain fundamental concepts, including the idea that same-sex desire is not a psychopathology and lesbian and gay people do not suffer from mental illness as a result of their sexual orientation. Additionally, gay affirmative therapy postulated that being gay was a normal variation in human sexuality and that there was a normative developmental process of coming out for lesbians and gay men that is obstructed by societal homophobia. Please note that this was only a few years after Homosexuality was removed for the diagnostic manual (DSM) for mental disorders in 1973. Gay affirmative therapy also holds that therapists who espouse negative views towards homosexuality cannot be effective clinicians with gay or lesbian clients. Gay affirmative therapy requires psychotherapists to become sensitized to the role of homophobia in the psyches of gay men and lesbians so they can recognize the difficulties associated with the internalization of homophobia. Historically, its great significance is that it was the first therapeutic movement that acknowledged the harm done to lesbian, gay and (to a lesser extent) bisexual people through heterosexist socialization and institutional homophobia. The unconditional affirmation of samesex relationships by psychotherapists was intended to serve as a counterbalance for the negative socio-cultural and familial environments within which most queer people live. Thus, gay affirmative psychotherapy could ameliorate the negative impact of growing up gay or lesbian in an oppressive society, as well as to assist the gay or lesbian client in a coming out process that actualized a healthy identity. Central to gay affirmative therapy is the attempt to enhance the dignity and self-respect of clients by establishing a supportive and accepting atmosphere. Gay affirmative psychotherapy developed in the early 1980s. Models of specific lesbian affirmative therapy did not blossom until the mid-1980s with the publication of the Boston Lesbian Psychologies Collective issue of Lesbian Psychologies in 1987; my personal issue is tattered from re-reading. Les-

bian affirmative models generally still utilized the term gay affirmative, although they recognized the limitations of only examining male experience and identity. Bisexual identity development was not documented professionally until Fritz Klein’s The Bisexual Option in 1993, and Martin Weinberg, Colin Williams, and Douglas Pryor’s Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality in 1994. Affirmative models of working with transgender clients have only become available within recent years. Gay affirmative therapy may appear to be an historic relic that is no longer necessary, especially since most national therapy organizations have taken a strong stance in support of LGBTQ people. However, that there are still researchers, clinicians, and organizations such as the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality [NARTH] that are opposed to gay affirmative psychotherapy models, and actually work towards reclassifying homosexuality as a mental illness. Moreover, gay affirmative psychotherapy has not yet been fully integrated within the psychological or social work professions, and even those psychotherapists who profess to be accepting often lack in-depth education on the psychosocial issues and needs of LGBTQ people. Gay affirmative therapy has had a farreaching influence far outside of the confines of the privacy of the 50-minute psychotherapy hour. Gay affirmative psychotherapy created the necessary foundation for psychotherapeutic models that embrace and support diverse sexual expressions, models that view same-sex identity and relationships as potentially healthy and natural. Think about it: Would the Queer civil rights movement and policy changes that have happened in the past two decades -- including marriage equality, same-sex adoption, and most laws that protect LGBTQ people -- been possible if homosexuality had remained a mental health diagnosis? Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev, LCSW, is social worker and family therapist. She is the Clinical Director of Choices Counseling and Consulting (www. choicesconsulting.com) in Albany, New York, and on the adjunct faculties of the four colleges, specializing in gender and sexuality studies.

Ari can be reached at Arlene.Lev@gmail.com

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer, NY www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie, NY www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady, NY www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany, NY www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Shalom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy, NY www.berithshalom.com (518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany, NY www.bethemethalbany.org (518)436-9761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany, NY www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.easternparkway.weebly.com (518)374-4306 St George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady.org Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161

First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany, NY www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville.org (518)458-1562

First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany, NY www.firstcongregationalalbany.org / (518)482-4580

Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html (518)434-8861

First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany, NY www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany, NY www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady, NY www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, NY www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy, NY www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY (518) 436-8812

Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar , NY www.journeyucc.com Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratogaspringsumc.org / (518)5843720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road Northville, NY Tel. 518-863-8086 or 518-434-8861 staelredpriory@aol.com St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany, NY www.standrewsalbany.org / (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany, NY www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY www.unitychurchinalbany.org (518)4533603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock, NY www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open! Affirming! Welcoming! Joyous! 33

Pride Center Special Events Friday, May 2: 1st Friday at the Romaine Brooks Gallery, 1st floor, 5-9pm. Come to the Pride Center’s very own art gallery! Artist Theo Zegers. Friday, May 2: Rainbow Café Open House!, 6-9pm. Rediscover the MAGIC of our classic program! Meet a friend or two, get comfy on our beautiful living room and feel free to be yourself! Wednesday, May 7: PRIDE WEEK Volunteer Info Session, 6-8pm. Capital PRIDE coordinators seeking fierce, reliable volunteers for the PRIDE Festival and Parade. Help put on the biggest event of the year! Dinner provided.

Friday, May 9: GET REAL: Ask the Sexpert, 5:30-7pm. Ages 13-18. GET REAL answers GET REAL knowledge - GET REAL power. Tuesday, May 13: Business Alliance LGBTQ Professionals Mixer, 6-8pm. Rain Modern Chinese, 259 Lark St. Albany NY. $10 suggested donation. Don’t miss the Region’s biggest LGBTQ monthly event! Join us for the April LGBTQ Professionals Networking Mixer. Come and meet up with friends , distribute your business cards, and make important business contacts. Friday, May 15: Give OUT Day!! Give OUT Day is your chance make a real difference, right here in OUR community. So, show your love through Give OUT Day, and help grow this amazing organization, which gives so much to our LGBTQ community. Email Pilar ArthurSnead, Development and Marketing Manager. PArthur-Snead@capitalpridecenter.org Sunday, May 18: Vintage Pride Potluck, 1-3 pm. First Presbyterian Church, 362 State Street, Albany. Bring a dish to share and enjoy drinks and dessert provided by the Pride Center. New topics and activities every month! A casual social opportunity for LGBTQ people 55+. Sunday, May 18: Rainbow Café Movie Night, 6:30pm. Stop by our Rainbow Café, grab a nice, hot cup of coffee, enjoy some artwork on the walls and get cozy on our couch and watch a flick! All are welcome. Wednesday, May 21: LGBTQ Book Club, 7-9pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, 1st fl. We are reading The Night Listener by Armistead Maupin.

Sunday, May 25: Supper Sunday, 5-9pm. The Pride Center’s monthly program that offers a free, delicious community meal home-cooked by our fabulous volunteer Mike C. the last Sunday of each month. Sunday, May 30: 17th Alternative Punk Rock Prom, 7-11pm. The Armory at Sage College, 130 New Scotland Avenue, Albany, NY 12208. All lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, questioning young adults AND allies (ages 19 and under), are cordially invited to join several hundred of their peers on Friday, May 30th, 2014 from 7-11 pm for an unforgettable night of dancing, socializing, and making new friends in a safe, supportive, non-judgmental atmosphere. August 22-24th: YOUTH IN POWER CAMP! This weekend program is jam-packed with a variety of workshops, social activities, and projects that focus on empowerment through social justice. We’ll also incorporate arts & crafts, boating & lawn games! For more info, email: Jshultis@capitalpridecenter.org and visit: tinyurl.com/youthinpower All events take place at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Avenue, Albany) unless otherwise noted. For more information call (518) 462-6138.

Ongoing Events Sundays

Rainbow Café Drop-in Weekly, 1st Floor, 6—9pm LGBTQ Alcoholics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7—8:30pm Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 1st & 3rd Sunday of the month , 1st Floor, 11am-1pm Vintage Pride Potluck Lunch 3rd Sunday of the month, 1—3pm First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany Movie Night 3rd Sunday of the month , 1st Floor, 6:30pm Supper Sunday Last Sunday of the month, 1st Floor, 5—9pm

Wednesdays

Women’s Group 2nd Wednesday of the month, 1st floor 6-7pm Social, 7-8pm Discussion Live from the Living Room Open Mic* 2nd Wednesday of the month, Garden Level, 7pm LGBTQ Book Club* 3rd Wednesday of the month, 1st Floor, 7pm

Thursdays

Thrive LGBTQ Youth Group (Ages 18—24) Weekly, 3rd Floor, 6—7:30pm LGBTQ Narcotics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7:30—8:30pm

Mondays

Schenectady Rainbow Nights Youth Group (Ages 13—18) Weekly, 6—7:30pm Proctors Theater, Underground Space, 432 State Street, Schenectady

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous* Weekly, Garden level, 7:30—8:30pm

Fridays

Men's Peer Support Group Weekly, 1st Floor, 7—8:30pm

Free Confidential HIV Testing 1st & 3rd Monday, 3rd Floor 4—7pm

Tuesdays

Rainbow Café Drop-in Weekly, 1st Floor, 6—9pm Game Night 2nd Friday of the month, 1st Floor, 6-9pm

Trans Pride Discussion Group 1st Tuesday of the Month, 1st Floor, 7—9pm

GET REAL: Youth Education (Ages 13 – 18) 2nd Fridays, Garden Level, 5:30-7pm

Capital Region Support Group for Family and Friends of LGBTQ People 2nd Tuesday of the month, 7pm First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady More info: Julia Helfman 518.372.9911

Albany Youth Group (Ages 13 – 18) Weekly, Garden level, 7—8:30pm

Trans Pride Meet & Greet 3rd Tuesday of the month, 1st Floor, 7—9pm Saratoga Youth Group (Ages 13-18) Every other Tuesday, 4:30-6pm Saratoga Arts Center 320 Broadway, Saratoga

1stFriday @ Romaine Brooks Gallery 1st Friday of the Month, 1st Floor, 5—9pm Free Confidential HIV Testing 2nd & 4th Friday, 3rd Floor, 4—7pm

* Indicates outside groups that meet at the Pride Center.

All events take place at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Ave) unless otherwise noted.

Pride Center Administrative Office Hours Monday—Friday: 10AM-5PM

Saturday—Sunday: Closed

May 2014 Community Events Wednesday, May 14: Poetry Open Mic Night, 7-9pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany. Now meeting in the newly renovated Garden Level space! Tuesday, May 20: Youth Development Network Meeting, 12-1:30pm. A coalition of community individuals and organizations dedicated to empowering LGBTQ POC youth in the Capital Region. Lunch will be provided. Tuesday, May 27: IOOV Outreach @ Centro Civico of Amsterdam, 10-12pm. 143 East Main St., Amsterdam. Stop by and engage with our Outreach Specialist to learn about community resources. Free personal hygiene and safer sex kits for LGBTQ individuals and families in need will be available. Wednesday, May 28: IOOV Crime Services Office Hours-Amsterdam, 10-12pm. 1Kimball St., Amsterdam. Have you or someone you know been the victim of a crime? Did you know that LGBTQ individuals are less likely to report when they have been a victim of a crime due to fear of being re-victimized or not knowing that help is available for them. We invite you to join a member of IOOVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s staff to discuss our programs and services to see how we can best address your needs. Schenectady office hours on May 1st, 11:30-1:30pm (YWCA-44 Washington Ave, Schenectady, NY) Wednesdays, 6:45-8:00PM: Yoga @ Trinity, Kripalu Yoga for all levels and in a beautiful historic chapel; class tailored to participants present. $12/class. Contact Dee Lowmandlowman82@gmail.com Wednesdays, 3-5:00PM: Social Justice Center Outreach, 33 Central Ave. Stop by and engage with an IOOV Outreach Specialist to learn about community resources. Free personal hygiene and safer sex kits for LGBTQ individuals and families in need will be available. HIV Testing is also provided onsite by Whitney M. Young, JR., Health Services. Most Wednesdays at 8pm: Pint with the Pastor, Madison Pour House, 110 Madison Ave, Albany. An informal, open conversation among diverse and inclusive friends (new and familiar) about spiritual topics relevant to people of all faith experiences with a "resident theologian" in the room to support our discussion. Contact Dee Lowman-dlowman82@gmail.com *All In Our Own Voices (IOOV) events take place at 245 Lark Street, Albany unless noted. For more info, call (518) 432-4188 or email info@inourownvoices.org

Have an event for CommUNITY? If you would like to have your events posted in the CommUNITY newsletter, please visit our website at www.capitalpridecenter.org and click on the events tab and select calendar of events. From there you can submit your own event. Or email rgalvan@capitalpridecenter.org. Events must be submitted for approval before the 5th of the month.

May 2014

Pride Center Affiliate Events Albany Gay Men’s Chorus Rehearsals: Tuesday evenings from 6:45 - 8:45pm at the First Lutheran Church of Albany, 181 Western Avenue (State Street side), Albany. Wednesday, May 14: Saratoga Pride Women’s Cocktails, Lesbian coffee turns into Lesbian Cocktails! Meets every 2nd Wednesday of the month. Check out our website for location and additional details. www.saratogapride.com Thursday, May 15: Saratoga Pride Lesbian Networking Breakfast, 7:30am. Country Corner Café, Church St., Saratoga Springs. You can find us in the upstairs dining room. Latecomers welcome! www.saratogapride.com

Community Events Sunday, May 4 & 18: Bisexual Potluck Brunch, 11a-1pm. Pride Center, 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, 1st fl. Come for great brunch and a meet other bisexual members of the community! Monday, May 5: NYS Against Prison Injustice! 12:30pm. East Capitol Park (Eagle Street between Washington Avenue and State Street). Keynote Speaker: CORNEL WEST Featured Performers: Taina Asili, Daughters of Creative Sound, and more.

Wednesday, May 7: We Served As Well: Transgender Veterans Group, 4:30-5:30pm. VA Medical Center, Room 806D, 113 Holland Ave, Albany. A peer support group for transgender, cross-dressing , gender-questioning, two-spirited and curious veterans. More info: nullwendy@yahoo.com Wednesday, May 7 & 21: IOOV Out The Closet I Am (Ages 18-30)* 6:30-8pm. This is a support group for Women who have sex with Women. Join us for stimulating conversation and peer support around sexual orientation, gender and overall sexual health. For more info call 518432-4188 or message info@inourownvoices.org or www.facebook/outtheclosetiam Tuesday, May 6,13, 20 & 27: IOOV 2014 Black & Latino Pride Committee Meetings* 6-7:30pm. Come have your voices heard and help make 2014 Black & Latino Pride the best pride yet! For more info call 518-432-4188 or message info@inourownvoices.org Friday, May 9: IOOV Sexversations for Womyn Who Love Womyn* 7-9pm. Join us for a night of sexversations around orgasms, consent, power play, kink and overall sexual health. Bring your appetite for self-love, mental stimulation and sharing in community, Location TBA. Call (518) 432-4188 or message info@inourownvoices.org. Wednesday, May 14 & 28: IOOV-Voices of Unity (Formerly Trans Care)* 6-7:30pm. This is a support group for Transgender people of color to share their voices about issues affecting their community. For more information, call 518-432-4188. *All In Our Own Voices (IOOV) events take place at 245 Lark Street, Albany unless noted. For more info, call (518) 432-4188 or email info@inourownvoices.org

QueerEngineer Get to know us & how you can support LGBTQ* students in science, technology, engineering, & mathematics. /QueerEngineer

Security Plumbing and Heating Supply Supply....27

Skylands Services.....23 The State Room.....21 Tri City Rentals.....40 United Hearts Ceremonies/Reverend Kay..23 Welcoming Congregations.....33 Mark Witecki CPA.....23

@QueerEngineer

A Pride Center of the Capital Region affiliate

Advertisers Index Adirondack Oral Surgery.....22 Albany.com.....28 Albany Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chorus....11 Aras Performance Group....12 Bear Albany....12 Buenauâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Opticians.....21 Canterbury Animal Hospital.....18 Capital Pride Singers....11 Choices Counseling & Consulting.....23 Connections Psychotherapy.....13 Law Office of Anne Reynolds Copps.....6 Customericty.....13 Joseph Dalton/ Prudential Manor Homes.....24 Delmar Family Medicine.....17 First United Presbyterian Church.....24 In Our Own Voices....18 Jay Zhang Photography.....28 Journey United Church of Christ.....22 JrMac Photography / Massage Therapy.....22 Ronnie Mangione, Financial Advisor.....18 Law Office of Geri Pomerantz.....7 Mohawk Hudson Humane Society....22 Queer Engineer.....38 RBC Wealth Management.....21 Joseph Roche, Accounting.....6 Saratoga Pride.....38

for more information on advertising email Steven at sminchin!capitalpridevcenter.orf

The May LGBTQ Professionals Networking Event Tuesday | May 13th | 6-8 PM Rain Modern Chinese 259 Lark St. | Albany, NY

Mayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Business Alliance Networking Event

Aras Performance Group

More Upcoming Network Events Tuesday, June 10th 6-8pm Franklin Terrace Ballroom 126 Campbell Ave, Troy

Deb Best Practices

2014 Business Alliance Members AIDS Council of Northeastern New York Albany.com Aras Performance Group, Inc Bombers Schenectady Buenau's Opticians Central Avenue BID Charles F. Lucas Confectionery and Wine Bar Classy Body Art Connections Psychotherapy Deb Best Practices Deja Vu Experience and Creative Design, Ltd. Geri Pomerantz, Esq The Grocery

Hokkaido Albany Janet Stein, JMS PSB, LLC Jay Zhang Photography Joseph Roche Journey United Church of Christ L&P Media Mazzone Hospitality / Aperitivo Bistro Ronnie Mangione / Wealth Advisory Group LLC RBC Wealth Management Security Plumbing & Heating Supply Skylands Services, INC Sunrise Management and Consulting Tri-City Rentals

2013 Business Alliance Members Athos Restaurant Consumer Optical Customericity, LLC Grappa '72 Ristorante Interim HealthCare

Joseph Dalton / Prudential Manor Homes Latimer/Stroud, LLP Mark D. Witecki, CPA CFP CFE The Point Restaurant Thomas J. Walling/Tower Square Securities, Inc.

For More Information or To Join Visit: www.capitalpridecenter.org/resources/business-alliance/

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332 Hudson Avenue Albany, NY 12210

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