Joshua P

Page 1

Things One Should Never Do There are many things that one should never do Such as not doing anything new But do not step on a tiger's tail Or attempt to destroy the Holy Grail Don’t strap yourself to a bomb Or ever head a coconut from a palm Don’t blow up a porta-potty Or ever teach someone to be naughty Do not lick dry ice Or try to eat ten thousand mice Don’t try to rhyme words with orange Unless you say it wrong, then try door hinge Make sure not to cut off your hand Things like that should really be banned Don’t accidentally drop a grenade Make real friends or you could be betrayed There are many more to still be listed But the list is so long, I'd have to be assisted So that concludes the report on stuff to never do And remember: always try something new.


Ode to Bacon I love bacon, sizzling and hot To me it's like manna - for you maybe not Bacon is a river - flowing and free For me it is a delicacy An ocean of goodness runs through my bacon It sits on the plate, there for the takin' Bacon can heal any disease It makes me feel great with ease Bacon will create world peace And you can make anything with bacon grease Bacon is for me, more than for you if you don’t like it, try something new Bacon puts me a good mood Bacon is my favorite food It goes with pancakes, it's easy to bake But please, no tofu bacon - it's way too fake On Christmas Eve, under the tree, Santa leaves presents of bacon for me On Saturday mornings, with bacon on my plate I bet I could eat it, 10 pieces straight


My apologies to the vegans, Hope this didn’t ruin your mood I also have heard Broccolis' good food


The Gift of Flight One night when I was asleep I had a dream where I could fly. The joy I had was so amazing My happiness was as high as the sky. I felt as free as a bird as I flew around town I could see everything, up and down I kept flying around, thinking about life And what people would think if I flew all the time I wouldn’t buy a car, or pay for gasoline All I would have to do was fly And then with the money I saved I could buy…… And then I woke up.


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