‘And Another Thing...’
Don’t Forget To Spell-Czech
byVince Nolan
Having returned to the daily commute we have taken to van spotting to pass the journey time into Cardiff every day. The Current Mrs Nolan was riding shotgun when we pulled up behind a van which was properly sign written on the back and sides with the legend: “Indepndamt adaptions carried out.” Ignoring the obvious spelling error, I always thought they were adaptations and not adaptions but maybe I was being a bit picky (my version of road rage). We then saw a van with “Black Lion Construction” written on the side whose logo was a white lion on a black background? Maybe it was a photographic negative? Then we were behind a sewer cleaning tanker which carried the strap line: “We are number 1 at number 2’s” which was clever. To finish off this fest of word and image strangeness, I recently read an article written by a Uni student which went thusly: “I graduted with a 2:1 today. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my lecturers and personal tutors who have taughted me many wonderful things.” Seems like they had not quite taughted you enough! Herewith a mortar board for the smaller-headed gradute. I had a Teams call with a London based client whom I was “meeting” for the first time. When asked by a Government official, who was also on the call, where the wellheeled clientele might 12 CARDIFF TIMES
come from to stay at his proposed luxury hotel development he said: “I have got Madonna on speed-dial.” Pregnant pause and a stifled laugh on my part which is difficult to hide on a Teams call. It went downhill from there. He claimed to be a self-made man and I thought it was very nice of him to take the blame. The ego had truly landed. I am beginning to wonder if it is me? It is me. To illustrate the point, I was invited to a Webinar to discuss funding for businesses. I thought they said Wine Bar and hence my overeager acceptance. The organisers then sent me an email confirming my booking and also asking whether I had any specific event questions like transport, parking and dress code. Given the event will be conducted over the internet I will not be driving and could easily be wearing my unicorn onesie.
