Miscellany

I thought it would be appropriate to see out the old year and ring in the new with an update on some of The Girl’s activities since starting her new school last October. My sixteen year old daughter left Cardiff High School after Year 11 to join Whitchurch High School’s sixth form. She was the first (and only) pupil at CHS with Down Syndrome whereas she has a larger peer group at WHS. Early signs have been encouraging; our daughter has settled well and has made some firm friendships. For their part, staff at WHS have told us how pleased they’ve been with her contribution to the work of the class. Of course, her out-of-school activities have continued apace too. In the national Trampolining League Finals, held at Stratford Olympic Park, east London, The Girl won silver medal in her class of six, against teams from across the country. The Boss and The Girl were at the venue at 1030 on the Saturday morning, having travelled up from Cardiff on Friday night. They were still going full pelt late afternoon/early evening. There were parades, march-pasts and ceremonies. It was a long and successful day! Then, representing WHS in the national schools’ trampolining finals, she won the gold medal. I include a picture of The Girl with her friends A and L celebrating their medals. Such a happy picture! The Girl wasn’t the only one gallivanting across the country. The Boss and I went to a three hour concert given by Sir Andras Schiff. He considered the influence of “the greatest composer”, JS Bach on the next greatest, WA Mozart, playing us plenty of the works of both. We stayed the night at the Paddington Hilton and we had uneventful journeys both to and from the capital. Fair dos to Great Western Railways. Rather than come to London with her parents The Girl slept-over at a friend’s house. We know that she had a fab time but it was very nice to receive the following message from her friend’s mum: “Your Girl has been such a wonderful, easy guest. She is so polite and cheerful she must definitely come again”.

The following conversation brought home to me that my daughter is very much her own person and that she has learned how to wind her dad up. I’m going to call this “Looking for love.” Scene: The Girl, her Mum and me, having supper in the dining space. Me to TG: In your Annual Review today your teachers

by Wyn Evans

told us that you’ve settled in really well to your new class; making lots of friends and working hard. Well done!

TG: Thanks Dad, yes I like it there. Me: are there any class-mates that you are developing good friendships with? TG, excited: Yes! There’s I###, and D#### and M##### and J*** and...

Me: Yes, J***! Your mum tells me that J***’s mother has phoned saying you and J*** want to go to a cafe together... TG, interrupting: ... Yes! Me: so tell us, what is he like, this J***?

TG, who takes about 30 seconds of anguished

thought: I don’t know what he likes to do but I can ask him tomorrow and tell you tomorrow after school [grins]! Me: Sorry my love, I didn’t mean what does he like doing. I meant what is he like as a person; what does he look like; does he have a kind heart and a nice smile; is he tall or short; does he make you laugh? TG: Oh! well [her girl friend] D#### and I often talk to J***. Actually, D#### and me dance for J***... Me, spluttering: (thinking ‘who is this Svengali?!)

TG: I’ve got a lot in common with J*** - we’re both looking for love... Me: I’d say that love has found you already. Mam and I love you, Nanna and Grand-dad love you, Rob and Jan lo ...

TG: ... No, not like that; I mean looking for love like boyfriend love. I need to get a boyfriend. Me: I’ll help you find one [thinking ‘I’ll frighten them all away until she’s forty!”] TG: No dad, I can do it on my own. But [grinning at me!] if I can’t find one after a good look I will ask you for help and you can give me some love advice. TG, turns towards her Mum, laughing, says: See; Dad will give me love advice. Mum: (Speechless.) Me: (Gobsmacked.) She’s effectively telling me here that she’ll sort her own love life without parents butting in, whilst keeping me happy through the promise of an input if she decides it could help. All done through flattery, playing on my vanity, and my parental desire to protect her. She’s an Operator this one! Then she grinned at us and added ...

TG: [Happily] “... it’s not a date, we’re just hanging-out”. May I leave the table please?

I mentioned there her knowing how to wind me up. I’m going to call the following conversation “The Fellowship of the Ring”. Last Wednesday, The Girl came home from school, gave me her customary big hug and said...

TG: Daddy can I tell you something? Me: Yes of course.

TG: Well, today Not-My-Boyfriend-We-Just-Hang-OutTogether proposed to me and we got engaged. Look, I’ve got a ring too! (She waves her fingers in front of my face. Here began a three-hour hiatus whilst daddy had a heart attack, The Boss dialled 999, and some nice ambulance people came out to administer CPR to daddy.) Me: No, you’re not getting engaged. Not-YourBoyfriend-You-Just-Hang-Out-Together is a very nice lad and I like him but you’re not getting engaged to ANYONE just now. [Realising that telling The Girl she’s not to do something is likely to set her off doing it, Daddy texts Mammy, who is for a change working from her office alongside the University’s Accounts staff rather than from her office in our box room. Mammy imparts good advice, immediately steering daddy onto the correct path.] Me: Right now both you and NYBYJHOT are both too young, You’re only 16... TG: ...I’ll be 17 in March...

Me: ... yes, you will. But mammy was 25 when we got engaged and I was 30. So you’ve got plenty of time to get lots of experience and become an adult before settling down. TG: Yes. Anyway Dad, don’t worry; D***y (classmate and friend to both The Girl and NMBWJHOT) was just teasing us and pranking us about being engaged. But I do like the little ring though, I think I’ll keep it on for a bit. [We established that it was not a priceless heirloom or family treasure.] After this little drama, I busied myself, relieved, making her preferred, just-got-home-from-school, hot chocolate drink and, for myself, a very strong tea, with TWO fennel teabags. It struck me that one day we will be having such a conversation with our Girl for real. Let it not be soon. I’m just not ready for ‘MY precioussss’ Girl to be hitched until she’s at least 25 - or maybe 30.

My daughter has attended a few xmas and birthday parties in the past couple of weeks. In each she has waited until everyone is dancing and then taken the microphone. During her Down Syndrome Youth Group she invited the whole youth group to her 17th birthday party next March. During classmate Maddie’s 18th she invited all her classmates to her 17th party too. At trampolining, she has invited all her clubmates to her 17th.

I’ve tried to suggest to her that these days most people wait until their 18th for their ‘big’ party. She’s having none of it and seems to be doubling down on having a mega 17th party. Ah well! Covid has severely limited party-going these past few years so maybe she’ll get what she wants yet. It’s fascinating watching her at these events with her friends; engaged, involved, talking and laughing, in no way missing her parents but secure in the knowledge that we were accessible if needed. She has opinions of her own which she has no problem expressing without being overbearing.

I love being a parent. Happy new year to you all!

If you or someone you know is new to wearing hearing aids, it can take a while to get used to them. Using hearing aids can allow you to engage in meaningful conversations with friends and family more easily. Many hearing aid users experience more profound interactions with their loved ones and find it more enjoyable to participate in social gatherings. So while not all change is seamless, it can take can a while to get used to it. Here are a few quick tips on how to embrace your new world with your hearing aids: ● Use them consistently. The true benefits of hearing aids are only achieved through frequent use. ● Speak to people. The act of conversation is such a rewarding experience for new hearing aid users. ● Journal your experiences. Keeping track of your new experiences serves as a great tool, both for you and your hearing care professional.

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