COLUMNS F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 6
Featuring: Age is just a number High school students and their struggle to find acceptance for their relationships
Also Inside: The Real St. Valentine Pursuing Perfection DIY or Buy Traditional vs. Crafdting Charming Cardinal
Creating The Covers Formal Front
Madison Supple // Editor-In-Chief
Right from the beginning we all knew that we wanted a Valentine's Day-themed issue. That's when we came up with the idea to have a double cover issue featuring the pretty side and the depressing side. The front was all about elegance, beauty and grace.
Broken Back After a lot of thought, Mattie and Anna came together and decided on an idea after seeing a picture that sparked inspiration. We wanted our model to appear as if she was walking on glass but nothing turned out right. The art department came to our rescue and gave us real glass so we could have the full effect.
Pictures and Costume by Madison Supple Our front and back covers feature our beautiful model, Jenny Engebretson. Jenny came in on a very snowy night and stayed for two hours while we took pictures. Balancing on one foot for an hour is already no easy task, but trying not to step on glass added to the chaos. Luckily nobody was hurt and pictures turned out phenominal. Make - up by Anna Leasa It was an easy decision to have our model on the opposing side look like her feet were cut from the glass, but of course we didn't want anybody to get hurt so we took to make-up. Anna being so experienced with Halloween make-up immediately took control and started creating cut like effects all over Jen's feet and toes. We were all very pleased with how realistic it looked and couldn't be happier with the outcome.
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C ardinal Columns Fond du Lac High School 801 Campus Drive Fond du Lac, WI 54935 920-929-2740
ST. VALENTINE p3
www.cardinalcolumns.org
Editorial Board
PERFECT DATE p4 TOP LOVE/BREAKUP SONGS p5
6
WHAT TO WEAR p6
Madison Supple Kay Sacasa
Art Directors
Zach Renderman Anna Leasa
DIY OR BUY p7
Internet Director Evan McEssey
GIFT IDEAS p8
Desk Editors
AGES IN RELATIONSHIPS p9-11
Robert Brown Regan Le Doux Morgan Tollard
Staff Writers
ADVICE p12 WHY VALENTINE’S IS IMPORTANT p13-14
15
Editors-in-Chief
ORIGAMI INSERT p15
Jordan Kavage Tanner Nelson Carley Higgins Alyssa Lawrence Andres Christian Noah Burdett
Advisor
Matthew Smith
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The Real Story of St. alentine V The Origin of St. Valentine Tanner Nelson // Staff Writer
T
he origin of St. Valentine, and how many St. Valentines there were, remains a mystery. One common theory is that he was a Roman martyred for refusing to give up his Christian faith. Other historians hold that St. Valentine was a temple priest jailed for defiance during the reign Claudius II of Rome. Whoever he was, Valentine really existed because, according to catholic.org, archaeologists have unearthed a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to Saint Valentine. In 496 AD Pope Gelasius marked February 14th as a celebration in honor of his martyrdom. According to catholic.org, the first representation of Saint Valentine appeared in a The Nuremberg Chronicle, a illustrated book printed in 1493. Alongside a woodcut portrait of him, text states that Valentinus was a Roman priest martyred
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during the reign of Claudius the Goth [Claudius II]. St. Valentine was a Priest, martyred in 269 at Rome and was buried on the Flaminian Way. He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses. Since he was caught marrying Christian couples and aiding any Christians who were being persecuted under Emperor Claudius in Rome when helping them was considered a crime, Valentinus was arrested and imprisoned. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner until Valentinus made a strategic error. According to Catholic.org, he tried to convert the Emperor. It was there St. Valentine was condemned to death. He was beaten
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with clubs and stoned; when that didn’t do it, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate [circa 269]. Over the centuries, the holiday evolved, and by the 18th century, giftgiving and exchanging hand-made cards on Valentine’s Day had become common in England. Hand-made valentine cards made of lace, ribbons, and featuring cupids and hearts eventually spread to the American colonies. The tradition of Valentine’s cards did not become widespread in the United States, however, until the 1850s, when Esther A. Howland, a Mount Holyoke graduate and native of Worcester, Mass., began mass-producing them. Today, of course, the holiday has become a booming commercial success. According to the Greeting Card Association, 25% of all cards sent each year are valentines.
Fondy’s Ideal Date
Evan McEssey // Internet Director
W
hen people try to find a person they feel might be suitable for a significant other, they look for specific characteristics in that individual they personally find attractive. Every person has their own “taste” in a partner. Some people may prefer crystal blue eyes, while others would prefer hazel eyes. At Fondy High, the average guy’s favorite characteristics they look for is a girl who is funny. Favorite facial feature is eyes. The average favorite body feature is a woman’s behind, and lastly, the
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average favorite for overall appearance is nice hair. For the average female, the favorite characteristic is funny as well. The favorite facial feature is nice white teeth. Favorite body feature is hands/arms, and favorite for appearance is a boy who is well dressed. This information was gathered through a small survey provided by the Cardinal Columns to find the average favorite characteristic, facial feature, body feature and
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what appearance aspect they look for in someone they would date for both boys and girls. On the survey, people were also asked something strange they look for in a person. Although there were many answers, there weren’t enough common ones to make an average. On the boys side, there were answers such as: good morals, classy, good music taste, pretty “normal” things. There were also more “off the wall” answers such as: Also a ginger and all person that’s at least two years older. For the girls, there was classy, taller than me, and easy-going. For the more “off the wall” answers there was big legs and isn’t clingy.
Responses of Twenty Interviewees
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Top 10
e v o L
And Br
Songs
eak U p
Kay Sacasa // Editor-in-Chief All I’ve Ever Needed- Paul McDonald feat. Nikki Reed Let Your Hair Down- Magic! You’re the One that I Want- Grease Cast Thinking Out Loud- Ed Sheeran Love You Like I’m Gonna Lose You- Meghan Trainor feat. John Legend Marry Me- Train A Thousand Years- Christina Perri I Won’t Say I’m In Love- Hercules cast All of Me- John Legend Adore You- Miley Cyrus
Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri Better than Revenge- Taylor Swift Amnesia- 5 Seconds of Summer
Before He Cheats- Carrie Underwood Breakup in a Small Town- Sam Hunt
Hello- Adele Send My Love (to Your New Lover)- Adele
Be Careful- Sparkle feat. R. Kelly 21 Guns- Green Day Perfect- My Darkest Days 5
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t s o c T I Low F T U O s e n i t n Vale
ff Writer
s // Sta y Higgin
Carle
Pants Dress
Shirt
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Target $24.99
posta o r e A 5 $23.2
Kohls 0 $30.0
Accessories Shoes
ls h o K .00 $18
37.99
$ Younkers
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Love to Hate Valentine Valentine DIY ideas for pro and con people
A
re you one to participate in the event that falls in February 14, also known as Valentine’s Day? Or are you one to try and avoid the day completely? Do you feel loved whenever someone were to come to you and deliver flowers from that special person? Or do you feel left out and alone to where you just want to sit in bed and watch Netflix all day, shutting out all the people who have valentines? How about this, lets come to an equal standpoint, let’s create some DIY’s! DIY’s to give to your valentine, and DIY’s to relieve the stress to those who do not necessarily like valentine’s day. Positive: Confetti filled hearts. The supplies you will need for this DIY are as follows: Tracing paper, red and plain cardstock, confetti, skewers, a black marker, red
source: crafts.tutsplus.com
Andres Christian//Staff Writer
thread, a needle, some craft glue, and scissors. The total cost for this project to buy everything new would come out to be $32.32, and without buying the Sharpie, Scissors, and Tracing Paper, the total comes out to be $23.44. Creating this DIY with all the supplies that you actually will need, will cost less than $10.00 depending on what you already have lying around the house. Negative: Voodoo Doll. The supplies needed for this project is the following: 1 styrofoam ball, 20 gauge galvanized steel wire, some butcher’s string, and wire cutters and/or pliers. If you would like to decorate your doll, you will need: small beads or buttons for eyes, some scrub material for dressing your doll, some different colored string, and some random craft items for doll. Total cost of all of these supplies, would come to a total cost of $25.91, and whilst only using one styrofoam ball, it brings the cost down to $24.43. With all the supplies given, you can make about 4 voodoo dolls, depending on the size of your preferred doll. One voodoo doll at Hot Topic costs $6.50 for one, saving you $.09 to $1.57. So, it can either go both ways, whether you want to have some |
FEBRUARY 2016
fun and create your own voodoo doll to your own personality, or go to the store and just purchase a pre-made one.
source: hubpages.com
DIY Projects 1. Geeky Valentine cards - 8-bit Hearts 2. String Heart Yarn Cards 3. Stress Pinata 4. Ice Cream Creations 5. Giant Geometric Wall Heart
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What
Do
Get
I
Regan Le Doux // Desk Editor
onal
Traditi
Try th ese
? instea
d
Flowers The most popular flowers bought are roses, lilies, tulips and carnations Date Jar This jar contains dates that can be drawn when a couple does not know what to do for a upcoming date. The date ideas are typically written on popsical sticks. Stuffed Animals The most popluar stuffed animals bought are teddy bears, bunny rabbits, giraffes and puppy dogs. Sappy Movies Buy a few classic, mushy movies for you and your significant to stay in and watch. Chocolates The most popular brands of chocolate bought are Russell Stover’s, Godiva, Hersey’s and Ghiradelli. Making a Meal By making a meal,you create a more personal lunch or dinner date. It may also be cheaper than eating out.
Jewelry The most popular types of jewelry bought are earrings, necklaces and charm bracelets.
Photo Album Take all your favorite photos of you snd your signifcant other and create a album or collage. It’s a cute and easy way to remind them of all your favorite dates.
Date Night The most popular date night activites are eating dinner out and seeing a movie at the theatre.
Blanket Fort Construct a blanket fort for the two of you to hide the day away in. This is a perfectplace to get cozy to a good movie or television series. CARDINAL COLUMNS.ORG
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Age Is Just A Number
The struggles of High School students and their College Bound Significant Others Madison Supple // Editor In Chief and Regan Le Doux // Desk Editor
my is a hard-working student. She studies hard for her tests, works hard to keep her good grades and puts one-hundred percent into her after school sports. Amy is like every other typical hardworking teen, but she said she gets looked at differently because her significant other is four years older than her.
**Due to the topic of the story, all student source names have been changed.
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Age difference in relationships is nothing new, but it is a topic that many frown upon for young adults in high school. It may seem like something that is easily overlooked, but students say it affects relationships to the point where they can’t go out and enjoy their time together. Amy, whose name, like that of every student in this story, has been changed, and her boyfriend met through a common interest in sports and have been together for three and a half years. Being that they are four years apart in age, there were many struggles with people disapproving of their relationship. Unfortunately, she said friends did not fall short in the list of people. “Some people you were best friends with, don’t want to be your friend anymore,” Amy said. “Our coach wanted to kick us out of the club and not let us teach children anymore because what would the parents think?” At the beginning of their relationship, she said there were people that did not want the two to have contact with one another. With her mother being the only one that stands behind Amy’s decision, it is hard for the couple to have a normal high school relationship. “We can’t be open, can’t go out places, which means no prom or homecoming,” Amy said. “It’s frustrating.” Due to the Fond du Lac High School’s guest policy, students are not allowed to bring anyone over the age of twenty or has not graduated from Fond du Lac High School. Amy was not the only the one to experience a struggle for acceptance. Laura and her boyfriend of three years have also received a lot of judgment. “At first, everyone was disappointed,” Laura said. “My dad was very unhappy. He hates [my boyfriend].” The two are not allowed to spend time together if Laura’s father is present. That includes, but is not limited to, holidays such as Christmas. Laura has yet to have her boyfriend over at her father’s house, despite being together for three years now. Her father isn’t the only one that hasn’t come around to the idea of Laura being with her boyfriend. “A friend of mine, that I’ve known for a very long time, called me a s*** and a w****,” said Laura. “He’s going to use you for sex and to get with other people is
what she told me.” Girls aren’t the only ones having a hard time getting acceptance. Ken, who has been with his girlfriend for over a year, still gets comments from his friends and parents. “My dad was pretty rough,” Ken said. “He got kinda mad when I got [my girlfriend] her Christmas present. He said you know you aren’t married yet, because he thought I spent too much money on her too fast, because it was 6 months in advance. So he wasn’t really disapproving of us, it was more disapproving of me over extending myself.” It wasn’t just Ken’s dad who was upset, however. Stacy’s dad had a strong opinion about their relationship also. “When he heard that my boyfriend was eighteen he said, you know all the older boys want to do is get inside your pants and all they really want is to have sex,” Stacy said. “But I knew [my boyfriend] wasn’t like that, so it worked out very well.” While not seen the exact same way, the concern of the younger being used for sex is shared among parents of high school and college students. “It’s a little more the norm that when you’re dating in high school that you are sleeping together,” said IA teacher Denise Thompson. “There is a spectrum of more conservative and less conservative students. But it is more accepted as a college student. This would be my worry as a parent.” “Those few years are miles apart,” English teacher, Tammy Chase, said. “It’s two different life styles and I don’t think it’s appropriate for a college student to be with a high school student. [College students] have a lot of responsibilities and they are on their own. I just don’t think high school students are ready for that responsibility; I feel like they might grow up too fast. They are more innocent and need more guidance.” Though it is common for a young girl to be taken advantage of in high school, Stacy says she has never felt pressure from her boyfriend. “I think our relationship is different,” Stacy said. “A lot of the time I feel like it’s all about how the guy tries to pressure the girl to do things she didn’t want to do and takes advantage of her and then dumps her then she is more like heartbro-
“A friend of mine, that I’ve known for a very long time, called me a s*** and a w****. He’s going to use you for sex and to get with other people is what she told me.” -Laura
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ken, but for us, he has never pushed me to do anything.” Wisconsin Law states that any sexual contact between an eighteen year old and a child seventeen or younger is illegal and has a penalty of anywhere from one year to ten years in jail and can receive a fine of at least $2,000.00. “Any teacher or staff member that hears about any sexual contact has to report it to law enforcement, and I have to report it to juvenile intake,” school resource officer Kristina Meilhan said. “Cases with more than a year or two age difference, or results in pregnancy, an STD or any permanent disfigurement are taken more seriously in law enforcement.” Not every parent sees maturity and age as the same thing. “Some kids intellectual levels are different,” attendance secre-
tary Molly Haltaufderheide said. “There’s just so many variables. It would be hard to draw a line.” When dating someone that goes
“You have to keep in mind you can’t always see them and you have to act like an adult about it.” Despite the problems they have all experienced, Amy, Laura, Stacy and Ken still keep a positive attitude when dealing with criticism. They all had advice to give to couples in similar situations. “Don’t let anyone make your life for you,” Amy said. “You can’t make everyone happy.” “Let people make their own decisions,” Laura said. “Don’t let it get to you.” “Don’t give in to pressure and follow the law,” Stacy said. “If he goes to prison, there’s already a few years of prison that could ruin you.” “Don’t listen to what other people say,” Ken said.
“Any teacher or staff member that hears about any sexual contact has to report it to law enforcement, and I have to report it to juvenile intake.” -Kristina Meilhan to a different school, there is bound to be some miscommunication or worry, all the couples agreed that it is hard to be in two different places. “The fact that you never quite know what the other person is up to [is hard], especially while you’re at school,” Stacy said. “Like they might start to wonder if you are getting too close to your classmates, especially since they’re your age.” “One person is older,” Amy said.
According to Wisconsin State Law, “sexual contact” means any of the following: (a) Intentional touching by the complainant or defendant, either directly or through clothing by the use of any body part or object, of the complainant’s or defendant’s intimate parts if that intentional touching is either for the purpose of sexually degrading degrading or sexually humiliating the complainant or sexually arousing or gratifying the defendant. (b) Intentional penile ejaculation of ejaculate or intentional emission of urine or feces by the defendant upon any part of the body clothed or unclothed of the complainant if that ejaculation or emission is either for the purpose of sexually degrading or sexually humiliating the complainant or for the purpose of sexually arousing or gratifying the defendant.” Whoever has sexual intercourse with a child who is not the defendant’s spouse and who has attained the age of 16 years is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor.”
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E D I T O R I A L S
The Bird’s Word
This is an anonymous advice column where you ask the questions and Colonel Cardinal answers them! If you have any questions that you would like answered, you may email us at cardinalcolumns@gmail.com. If you are one of the lucky few, your question will be featured in the next issue!
Q- How do I find a valentine for
Q- What is a creative and cute Valen-
A- First and foremost, always be
A- Creative and cute? That’s my
Valentine’s Day?
yourself. There is someone out there that loves you for who you are, you shouldn’t have to change your Valentine. If you’re looking for someone to ask out for Valentine’s Day and you’re looking to ask someone out, be calm and be yourself! Seek someone that have the same interests as you and is friendly towards you, show them that you’re interested! If you’re simply interested in giving them a gift, that’s fine as well! Take the approach that is best for you. - Colonel Cardinal
EDITORIAL POLICY The Fond du Lac High School Media Editorial Policy applies to all FHS media, including the Cardinal Columns News Magazine, CardinalColumns.org and the daily broadcast of Fondy Today. All student media referenced in this editorial policy are designated public forums written, edited and managed by FHS students as part of journalism classes tought by a certified journalism instructor.
tine’s gift to give to my boyfriend?
specialty! I suggest making a date jar -- perhaps even a date calendar. List a type of date for every month and put it in an agenda or something along those lines. - Colonel Cardinal
Q- Why do people stare drastically at gay couples?
A- People stare at couples all of the time,
gay or straight. People stare at things they sometimes don’t necessarily understand. By no means is this glance supposed to be considered hostile or negative, which in some cases it can be, but a glance is a glance -- ignore it! - Colonel Cardinal
Q- What is a gender neutral Valentine’s Day gift, besides chocolate?
A- Almost any gift can be gender-neutral! Flowers, chocolate, teddy bears or even vouchers for your partner can do the trick. Pick something from your partner’s interest and make it a gift. Whether that be a necklace or ring, many things can be gender-neutral. - Colonel Cardinal
Q- How do I overcome a crippling
fear of birds in time for Valentine’s Day?
A- I do not understand how you
would as I am a bird myself, but I have a question for you; how do I overcome a crippling fear of humans in time for Valentine’s Day? - Colonel Cardinal
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The Cardinal Columns newsmagazine welcomes opinions from students and faculty in the form of letters to the editor. Letters must be signed with a first and last name and be 250 words or less. Letters may be submitted using the form on the “Contact Us” page on CardinalColumns.org.
Advertising
The Cardinal Columns accepts advertising in both its quarterly magazine and through CardinalColumns.org. To inquire about running an aadvertisement complete the form on the “Contact Us” page on CardinalColumns.org, call the school office at 920-929-2740 or e-mail the advisor at smithm@fonddulac.k12.wi.us.
FOR OUR FULL EDITORIAL POLICY VISIT: WWW.CARDINALCOLUMNS.ORG
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The Perfect Excuse
Why Valentine's Day doesn't always have to be about couples Madison Supple // Editor - In - Chief ots of people may look at Valentine’s Day as a useless and lame holiday, while couples see it as a time to get together and celebrate their love and how much they care about each other. Valentine’s Day to me was never really about being in a relationship until I was really in one and even then, it was more about having another excuse to spoil eachother. February 14th isn’t just about being in a relationship, buying flowers, candy or handing out valentines. To me it’s a day to remind people that they are important to you and you appreciate them being a friend, sibling or family member. In Elementary school, Valentine’s Day was all about making your special valentine box, getting those little punch out cards with stickers and candy to tape to the outside, and making sweet pictures for your parents. Valentine’s Day, like Sweetest Day, is just a special day to have a reason to go out, get dressed up and possibly get something small for your significant other, what’s wrong with that? Of course you should make your girlfriend or boyfriend feel special everyday, but what is February 14th without some chocolate and kisses? There may be people out there who expect gifts that cost upwards of fifty dollars, but there are also people who give and don’t want anything in return. For instance, in high school, friends like to get their friends valentines versus our parents who take eachother out to eat or get each other little stuffed animals and cards that sing. Not every couple in the world expects something for Valentine’s Day, it is more that they expect to get their significant other something for Valentine’s Day while love is in the air. If somebody’s reasoning is that we shouldn’t just get people gifts because gifts should be unexpected, then why don’t we take Christmas gift exchanges and Easter basket hunts out of the picture too? It’s because holidays aren’t solely for giving and receiving gifts, it’s for just taking that one extra step to say “I love you”, “Would you be my Valentine?” or “You’re important to me”. When I shop for Valentine’s day, of course my boyfriend is on my mind, but so are my brothers, parents, friends and co-workers because they’re important too. If we didn’t have them, then where would we be? With that being said, a valentine doesn’t have to be bought at the store, there are hundreds of do-it-yourself things that you can make with simple supplies you find at home that will bring an equally big smile to someone’s face, maybe even more so because you took the time to make something specifically for them. I will love my boyfriend and give him the world every day I can, but I will also always celebrate Valentine’s Day with him. It may not be the most important holiday out there, but it sure isn’t the least important. CARDINAL COLUMNS.ORG
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Oragami Flower Instructions Madison Supple // Editor-in-Chief & Anna Leasa // Art Director Oragami Credits to Ms. Castellion
Step 1:
Fold the paper over to make a square and create a fold.
Step 6:
Lay it with the point down and smoothe down the sides.
Step 11:
Take The left side and fold it over the right then flip it over and do the same on the back so the flap is hidden.
Step 16:
Turn it over and repeat steps 13 and 15 so it looks like this.
Step 21:
When you flip it upright it should look like a dome with 4.
Step 2:
Cut off the excess paper and open it up. Make sure the color you want your flower to be is facing down.
Step 7:
Take one of the top corners and fold down to the point.
Step 12:
Turn the diamond so that the pockets in the crease face up.
Step 17:
Take the 2 folds and put the smaller one inside of the bigger one.
Step 22:
Use your finger to curl down the 4 folds, it should start to look like it’s blooming.
Step 3:
Fold the square over in the opposite direction.
Step 8:
Do the same on the other side.
Step 13:
Take the right corner and fold down, just passed the center.
Step 18:
Do the same on the other side so it looks like this.
Step 23:
After you curl down the folds it should look like this.
Step 4:
Open it back up to reveal 2 folds.
Step 9:
Flip it over and do the same thing on the backside.
Step 14:
It should look like this.
Step 19:
Put your fingers in the pockets of the 2 folds, pull them apart and blow into the square hole.
Step 24:
Take the excess paper and roll it up for the stem. Put it inside the bottom of the flower.
Step 5:
Pinch two opposite sides together to create a triangle.
Step 10:
Once you have done all 4 folds it should resemble a kite.
Step 15:
Take the left corner and fold it almost completely over the right fold.
Step 20:
As you are blowing it should inflate to look like this.
Step 25:
Give your flower to a friend or keep it for yourself!
B
ARE YOU
GHOSTING What is the meaning of this?
Andres Christian//Staff Writer
reaking up is hard, technology has made that pretty clear and an easy thing to do. Ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone whom someone no longer wishes to date. “If you are old enough to date, you should be honest with the person, always.” counselor Mrs. Burns-Johnson said. “It [ghosting] is a cowardly thing to do.” She said, giving her thoughts about the method of ghosting. Students had their thoughts and opinions on the subject of ghosting. “It is not ever a good thing,” junior Lexi sandberg said. “Even if the relationship didn’t work, always best to have communication.” “Learn from the relationship, whether it worked or not.” Nationally, the Huffington Post conducted a poll of 1,000 adults about ghosting, showing that 11 percent of Americans had ghosted someone. In addition, the results of the polls are as follows:
26.67percent of women and 13.64percent of men who have said they have been ghosted. In another poll by Elle Magazine, 185 people were polled and the results found that about 16,7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women have been ghosts at some point in their lives. “I got bored.” a student said who claims to have ghosted someone and who has been kept anonymous to protect the privacy of everyone involved. A study about relationships from the 1970s, eric.ed.gov, shows that avoiding someone as a form of breakup, can trigger more anger and hurt the victim. The more you avoid the problem of confronting someone, the more anxiety builds over time for both
Give feedback to the person in a nice and positive way
the ghost and the victim. “Give feedback to the person in a nice and positive way, like if they talk about themselves too much in the relationship. Give them time to grow, and better themselves.” Mrs. Burns-Johnson said. “People might do this because, they do not know any other way to break up,” Sandberg said. “They might not want to deal with the sadness of the other person.” “People are too scared to omit their feelings to someone, and they might hurt them in person.” Another anonymous source states. According to the Huffington Post, that if you are afraid that you will hurt the victims feelings if you confront them, don’t go the ghosting route, there are better ways to decrease the fear of confrontation. 1. Practice on someone you trust: Putting yourself in the situation with a friend or family member, can boost confidence for when you do go through the breakup. 2. Take Care of Yourself: Take care of yourself before and after the breakup, take a 10 minute, relaxing walk after the stressful event, enjoy a long bath, and finally, give yourself credit for confronting your fear.
Source: pixabay.com
The point I’m trying to make is that doing something for your partner on Valentine’s Day is considered an obligation, and should not be considered as such. Rather than doing anything to better a relationship, a gift either does nothing or is simply detrimental, while the same gift on any other day is viewed as a spontaneous and loving surprise. Buying a gift on Valentine’s Day is a waste of the money you have at the time. Save the money for some other day and bring a far more meaningful gift to the table And what’s even less special about Valentine’s Day than the gifts given on said day is the day itself. The day isn’t special for just Partner A and Partner B as a couple, it’s considered special for EVERY OTHER COUPLE IN THE WORLD. Congratulations, you’ve shown your love for your partner at the same time as every other couple showed their love for each other. What a special day! Valentine’s Day has become a breeding point for pressure in society. A majority of people assume that a
couple must be doing something special for one another simply because it is Valentine’s Day. On any other day, these same people wouldn’t think anything of a couple getting gifts for one another. And they shouldn’t care. You are not a sheep, so don’t follow the herd. The time in which you and your partner celebrate anything is no concern of anyone but you and your partner. Don’t feel obligated to treat each other nicely just because the calendar happens to say February 14th. Be courteous to each other every day. It’s your relationship, not anyone else’s, and you deserve the best. And if you and your partner still want a day all to yourselves, every couple has an anniversary. It carries a lot more weight to your relationship since the day has meaning to you, personally. You can celebrate months and weeks of anniversaries if you desire, but the point still remains the same: it’s a special day. The world doesn’t share your anniversary. It’s yours. Enjoy it together.
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, personally, have never felt excluded by Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day does not haunt me before its arrival or scorn me upon it. I don’t hold any bitter resentment toward the holiday due to bad memories or anything of that nature. My hatred of Valentine’s Day isn’t personal in any way whatsoever. It’s based on the fact that Valentine’s Day is not a special day for anyone involved in its celebration. The premise of Valentine’s Day is not necessarily an issue in theory. Allowing a specific day out of the calendar year for couples to celebrate their love for one another is an admirable premise that works out for a lot of people. But the execution of the holiday in all of its capacities leaves a lot to be desired on all ends of the spectrum. Since Valentine’s Day has become such a mainstream holiday, many people who are in relationships come to expect a gift of some sort from their partner. It gives the impression that a person feels that they deserve some sort of reward or recognition for being in a relationship with the other person. Which is not at all the case. The action of getting a gift for a partner on Valentine’s Day breeds most of the problems that this holiday brings forward. For the sake of this editorial, I’ll be using Partner A and Partner B as example units to demonstrate the points being made within the given scenarios. Let’s say that Partner A expects a Valentine’s gift from Partner B. Partner A already assumed that Partner B would be getting some sort of gift or doing some special activity for Partner A as a gift for the holiday. Regardless of what Partner B chooses to use as a Valentine’s gift, Partner A will likely see the gift as equally special compared to any other gift. A box of chocolates 11
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or a five-star date will each carry the same merits as one another to Partner A since Partner A knew that Partner B would be doing something for the holiday to begin with. Any amount of sincerity or uniqueness that the gift originally carried is lost, since a Valentine’s gift exclusively carries the amount of sincerity that a Valentine’s gift carries. The relationship between Partner A and Partner B remains the same. Now, let’s say that Partner B does not buy Partner A anything on Valentine’s Day when Partner A is fully expecting some sort of gift. The lack of a gift upon the holiday’s arrival will most likely lead to Partner A feeling angry, ignored or some similar feeling of general unhappiness. This could lead to issues in the relationship between Partner A and Partner B, and causes Valentine’s Day to be a burden rather than a special day. The point of these examples is that buying a Valentine’s Day gift, even for someone like Partner A who fully expects a gift, carries little to no beneficial factors in the long run. The gift won’t make either partner feel any better about the other than they previously had felt. Again, we have Partner A and Partner B, but this time, it is April 9th, a day removed from Valentine’s Day and having nothing to do with the holiday itself. Partner B, completely spontaneously, buys Partner A the exact same gift that was bought as the Valentine’s gift (in this scenario, neither Valentine’s gift scenario has happened). Partner A is surprised, and feels excited, and glad that Partner B decided to do something completely out of the blue to show their love for Partner A. The spontaneity of the gift lets Partner A feel even better about their relationship with Partner B and allows the relationship to become stronger.
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Letter From The Author:
W
hether or not someone is alone on Valentine’s Day, it is important to keep your self-esteem high. No matter what situation someone is in, they should know that Valentine’s Day isn’t just about the person they spend their days with, it’s about self-love and self commitment. Even so, spending Valentine’s Day alone isn’t the end of the world, it’s merely a sign that you haven’t found the right one yet. Regardless of who you are, love doesn’t have to be displayed to your partner. It can be shown towards your friends and family, co-workers and teachers. Whatever you make it, make it your day, no matter what you’ve been through.
Jeana Schmitz Nurse Main Office EXT. 3541
Fond du Lac-Area Agnesian Hotline 24/7 Hotline 92O.926.429O or 8OO.922.34OO
Sarah Kirchoff Nurse Main Office EXT. 3542
ASTOP Program 24/7 Hotline 92O.921.7657 or 8OO.418.O27O astop@astop.org
Officer Kristina Meilahn School Resource Officer Main Office EXT. 3543
National Sexual Assault Hotline 24/7 Hotline 8OO.656.HOPE(4673)
Officer Kieran Weed School Resource Officer Student Services EXT. 3445
National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline 24/7 Hotline 866.33O.9474
Monica Zindler Psychologist Student Services EXT. 3944
National Youth Crisis Line 24/7 Hotline 8OO.442.HOPE(4673)
Julie Rehfeldt School Social Worker Student Services EXT. 3744
National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 Hotline 8OO.799.SAFE(7233)
SCHOOL RESOURCES
ABUSE HOTLINES
The Pitch “I think it’s a way for candy makers and card makers to sell things . . . I think a lot of it [Valentine’s Day] is for commercial gain,” Instructor Susan Heitzman of Fond du Lac High School said. Heitzman has seen a fair share of her students in dysfunctional relationships throughout her years of teaching. “Our society wants girls to be put into couples,” she said. “You have to be a couple to be important in our society.” She said that the deterioration of a relationship in certain cases a slow path. “‘Oh, he wants to be with me all the time, how cute.’ ‘He doesn’t want me to talk to other boys, how adorable.’ That’s how it starts,” she said. The Broken Heart “I would say I met this individual in freshman year. . . It was my first relationship, I didn’t know what to expect’’ said Casey, whose name has been changed to protect her identity. Casey, like others during the Valentine’s Day marketing seasons, feel Valentine’s Day isn’t as special as it used to be. “I have anger towards it so I have always felt it has been created purely for commercial gain, but maybe some people have some true feelings for it” she said. She had been involved in a relationship with a male after two months of school passed in her Freshman year. “First it seemed great,” she said.” “Again, I really didn’t really know what to expect. All of my friends were Freshmen and they were just starting to date as well so it was just, we were just getting into things. We were seeing how it went. It just seemed normal to me, looking back. For the first couple months, it seemed fine.” Four months passed. Casey and her boyfriend were still together, but with a different outlook on the relationship. “We started getting into arguments,” she said, “and arguments turned into fights, and fights turned into breakups, and then breakups turned into a little bit of physical violence here and there.” Casey, being in her first relationship, didn’t know how to respond or what to do. She had no one to talk to about it. “I wasn’t allowed to have friends” she said. Casey’s boyfriend had been straightforward about his feelings towards Casey 9
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having friends besides himself. She said that he told her that friends don’t care as much as he does and they never will. “The law around emotional abuse is very complicated” Fond du Lac High School Psychologist Monica Zindler said The law for child abuse we have to prove with emotional abuse is the irreversible damage has actually occurred.” she said. “The law regarding physical abuse is more clean cut.” she said. The Isolation Effect Casey hadn’t just been isolated -- she said she was assaulted on multiple occasions. “He was smart -- he knew what would leave a mark and what wouldn’t” she said. “The first time he ever left a physical mark on my body would have to be towards the end of Freshman year during lunch,” she said. “I had said something that made him so mad that he stood right up and punched me in the face. I had a black eye for two weeks.” Casey left lunch to see the nurse, claiming she was hit by accident by being elbowed in the face. She had been assaulted in countless other ways as well during her relationship, making it difficult to believe in the general meaning of Valentine’s Day. “Many other things can trigger bad memories [of abusive relationships], so I do not see why Valentine’s Day couldn’t” School Social Worker Julie Rehfeldt said. She also said that Valentine’s Day is just another day on our calendar and treat it like any typical Sunday. Casey felt secluded; her boyfriend did not spend Valentine’s Day with her, instead she said, that he spent his time with his friends rather than with her. Casey said that Valentine’s Day brings up bad memories, but gives some advice for other teens for Valentine’s Day. “Find somebody that you want to spend time with.” she said. “Spend time with something that means something to you; whatever you want to make it [Valentine’s Day], you’ll remember it and you’ll make it happy.”
Loneliness Cured? Julie Rehfeldt has some expert advice for someone who is alone on Valentine’s Day. “Treat it like any other Sunday,” she said. Others have some similar advice. “Treat yourself, make it a good day,” Monica Zindler said. Susan Heitzman even has some suggestions for individuals in terms of what to do on that Sunday. “Binge watch a TV show or even treat yourself to a good meal.” she said. Healing Relationships? Experts say that abusive relationships occur over time and if you speculate that you are in one, get help. Whether that help is through a hotline, a counselor or a police officer, adequate resources will be provided to you.
Find somebody that you want to spend time with. Spend time with something that means something to you; whatever you want to make it [Valentine's Day], you'll remember it and you'll make it happy. -Casey
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Our society wants girls to be put into couples. You have to be a couple to be important in our society. -Susan Heitzman
H
e loves me; he loves me not. She loves me; she loves me not. Valentine’s Day is a lovely day for many teens and adults across the world. The International Business Times reports that not only do western countries celebrate this holiday, but many countries as distant as Japan and the Philippines do, as well. The International Business Times also reports that Japanese tradition “switches up traditional gender roles with women often presenting chocolates to men instead of vice versa,” while the Philippines has practiced “Mass Wedding Celebrations” where an astonishing amount of couples tie the knot on the holiday. It is reported that over 4,000 couples married in 2013 in mass wedding ceremonies. The general consensus of couples is to exchange gifts, perhaps flowers and chocolates and spend the day cherishing each other and being rather affectionate. The holiday isn’t always as lovey-dovey you would expect it to be. Singles can find the holiday intimidating -- even a kick in the stomach. Abuse in a relationship -- whether physical or emotional -- casts a dark shadow on a holiday that is intended to shine the light on love.
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He Loves Me Not Pulled heartstrings and broken hearts
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Robert Brown // Desk Editor
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CARDINAL COLUMNS.ORG
True or False: I am superstitious.
True
Sleep the Day Away!
False
Coke
Pepsi
Watch Netflix All Night!
Can you make change for a dollar right now?
No
Yes
What Fondy sporting event do you enjoy going to most?
Football
Go Shopping!
Hockey
Night
Are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning
Get Take-Out and Relax with your Favorite PJ’s!
How Should You Spend Your Valentine’s Day Alone?
True
True or False: I like Valentine’s Day.
Turn on T.V.
Apple
START HERE
When you wake up, what is the first activity that you do?
False
Coke or Pepsi?
Family Member
When you’re having a bad day, who is the first person you call?
Designed by: Anna Leasa // Art Director Morgan Tollard // Desk Editor
Open your computer?
Friend
Apple or Android?
Android
Student’s attempts to keep warm in winter weather
P
Noah Burdett // Staff Writer Zach Renderman // Art Director
rincipal Michelle Hagen recently clarified for students and staff that the use of blankets are not permitted in a classroom environment. Due to this, blankets have recently become a point of interest for many students. However, many students are unaware of whether or not blankets have ever been acceptable for use at school. “There is no blanket policy, so I think that’s a misnomer,” head principal Michelle Hagen said. “I don’t know where people are getting a policy from. There is no policy or revision to a policy; it’s just that blankets are not appropriate for a learning environment.” While there is no specific policy regarding blankets, the school rules on the official district website dictate that “students have the right to choose their manner of dress and personal grooming unless it presents a clear danger to the student’s health and safety, causes an interference with work, or creates classroom or school disorder.” Blankets are seen by detractors as an example of something that may present danger, and occasionally cause interference with work. “I think that there is a line of too comfortable,” English teacher Tammy Chase said. “I don’t encourage sleeping in class, and to me, it’s a little too informal. Too casual to be wrapped in a blanket walking from class to class. So I don’t know, I’m conflicted.” Concurrently, the banning of the use of blankets has given way to students and teachers to be disappointed by the policy. Many do not see why blankets, as a comfort item, could cause any harm or distraction to a learning environment. “I don’t think it could be harmful to the work or education environment,” student Quin Salas said. “It’s winter. We’re freezing cold. It’s negative temperatures. We want to stay warm.” “It’s cold in here a lot.” health teacher Ken
Jakubowski said. “I let kids bring blankets. It’s never been an issue if they’re cold. The other option is if they bring their coat, which you’re not supposed to have your coat in the halls. If there was a policy in place, specifically, stating kids are not allowed blankets, I would question why.” Principal Hagen encourages all students to dress for the weather, to negate the need for a blanket or comfort item of any sort. “Let’s say people started wearing their swimsuits to school.” Hagen said. “Boys wearing their speedos and girls wearing their bikinis. If somebody says ‘Mrs. Hagen, are swimsuits appropriate for school,’ what do you think my answer would be? It’s a great outfit, but not appropriate for learning.” “I wear a sweater every day,” Jakubowski said. “If I got a kid coming to school today in shorts and they’re cold I don’t have very much sympathy.”
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A Sad Sweet Tooth Ideal Comfort Foods to Eat After a Break Up Alyssa Lawrence // Staff Writer
Coo
ki e D o u g h
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hoc o l a t e
want to Make your own cookies at home? Whisk together sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla, flour , baking soda, salt and chocolate chips into a bowl. Then cook for 12-15 minutes at 375 degrees
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Oreos Frosting FEBRUARY 2016
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POST-BREAKUP EATS p3
Cardina l Columns Fond du Lac High School 801 Campus Drive Fond du Lac, WI 54935 920-929-2740
www.cardinalcolumns.org
Editorial Board
BLANKET POLICY p4 SPENDING VALENTINE’S ALONE p5-6 HE LOVES ME NOT p7-10 UNIMPORTANT p11-12
Editors-in-Chief Madison Supple Kay Sacasa
Art Directors
Zach Renderman Anna Leasa
Internet Director Evan McEssey
Desk Editors
Robert Brown Regan Le Doux Morgan Tollard
Staff Writers
GHOSTING p13
13
ORIGAMI INSERT p14-15
Jordan Kavage Tanner Nelson Carley Higgins Alyssa Lawrence Andres Christian Noah Burdett
Advisor
Matthew Smith
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Blast From The Past
~The HI-EYE was the school publication of Goodrich High School in the 1960’s. Shown is the Valentine’s Day issue from 1962.~
COLUMNS F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 6
Featuring:
He Loves Me Not When not all relationships are chocolates and roses
Also Inside: Break-up Bake ups Valentines Day Quiz Ghosting Unimportant