CARDINAL COLUMNS JUNE 2017
GOODBYE CLASS OF 2017
Inside: Fondy Art Show pg. 3 Generational Gap pg. 13 Fidget Spinners pg.26
Contents
Police Unity Tour
pg 5-6 Police officers bike in honor of fallen officers annually.
Head Coach of Track
pg 7-8 The track team has been excelling this year, partially due to the new coach.
Generational Gap
pg 11-14 What is the differences that older generations see in us?
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CardinalColumns@gmail.com FondySports@gmail.com 2016-17 Member of KEMPA, NEWSPA and NSPA
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The Cardinal Columns magazine is a student-operated newsmagazine with a functioning editorial board and is supervised by an experienced adviser. The magazine operates as an open forum for the student body of Fond du Lac High School. Students have been trained in press law and journalism ethics to ensure journalistic excellence is achieved. Opinion pieces with bylines reflect the opinion of the author. Opinion pieces without bylines reflect the opinion of the staff. To view our full editorial policy, go to CardinalColumns.org/EditorialPolicy to learn more.
Contents
Game of Thrones
pg 17-18 With the new season coming out, get caught up with a spoiler-filled review!
Summer Blockbusters
pg 21-22 When you’re sitting around in the summer, entertain yourself with one of the many fantastic movies in this list.
Masthead Web Manager Taryn Schwind
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Robert Brown
Social Media Manager Alyssa Keller
MANAGING EDITOR Noah Burdett
Copy Editors Local: John Haas Sports: Nicole Pomplin Culture: Vyla Shea Opinion: Camryn Oestreich
Sports Editor Donovan Katarincic CULTURE EDITOR Sydni French LOCAL EDITOR John Haas
pg 25 The new executive order eliminates the separation between church and state. Comics created by artist marley burnham
ADVISER Matthew Smith
ART DIRECTOR Austin Scott
Religion vs. Government
REPORTERS Allie Woebeeking, Duncan Corbin, Skiler Heideman, Jensyn Ronca, Mason Biever, Eliana Torres, Alex Launders, Bailey Breister, James Linstrom, Zoe Walsh, Sarah Edgren, Casey McKeough
OPINION EDITOR Brianna Burgess SPECIAL THANKS Marley Burnham Andres Christan Associated Press Student Press Law Center
PRINTED BY Action Printing DISTRIBUTED BY Fond du Lac Journalism Department
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local
THE COLORS OF FONDY
Art Show Represents the Young and Promising Artists of Fondy by Sara Edgren, Reporter
E
very year at Fond du Lac High School, an art show is hosted in the month of May in the media center. The art show, which was open to the public on May 16 and runs until May 19, showcases the pieces of art that students have created throughout the year. Not only is this an opportunity for the hidden artists of Fondy High to represent their talents, but it also has entire displays for students who took Art Seminar. Art Seminar is an independent study for an art styling of the student’s preference, which allows them to expand beyond the established art courses. There is an entire section dedicated to each art student who did Art Seminar showcasing the pieces they created throughout the year. Two students at Fond du Lac High
School were awarded the Congressional Art Award for one of their pieces. The pieces will be displayed in Congressman Glenn Grothman’s office in Washington, D.C. for one year. Amanda Wciorka was awarded second place for her acrylic painting and Brianna Gurno was awarded third place for her acrylic painting. Both students are taking Painting 1 with Mr. Ramirez. Those in Art Seminar were not the only artists who were heavily featured in this year’s art show. Kaitlyn Demoske, a junior, had nine pieces on display. She is currently in Ceramics 1, Drawing 3 and Glass/Metal 2. Her artwork predominantly revolves around wildlife, particularly fish. Her mediums included colored pencils, pastels and scratch art. This is Kaitlyn’s third year being featured in the art show. Another artist was junior Amber Wells who had six pieces showcased. She is currently in Drawing 2 and her mediums were sharpie, ebony and colored pencils. Throughout her high school career, she has participated in the art show for 2 years. “I typically get the inspiration for my artwork in things that I find to be pretty,” Wells said. Amber’s favorite pieces in the art show this year included the pieces junior Sydney George did for Art Seminar. “They are all very realistic and amazing,”
Amanda Wciorka’s Congressional Art Award in Acrylic. Photo Courtesy: Sara Edgren
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Amber Wells’ Drawing in Ebony. Photo Courtesy: Sara Edgren
Wells said. Amber also favored Rita Richardson’s kitchen table piece. “It’s adorable and really colorful,” she said. “I think this year’s art show has been significantly different from the previous years,” Wells said when reflecting upon the art show’s outcome. “I think a lot of artistic boundaries were pushed which made for a lot more interesting and eye catching displays.” Grace Reader, another artist, was featured for the “old-timey feel” found within her art. She is in three art classes this school year: Painting 3, Painting 2 and Drawing 3. The general theme in her artwork is old school and classical. Her mediums include acrylic paint, colored pencils, scratch art and watercolor. Grace’s passion for classics gives her most of the inspiration for her artwork, an example being her John Lennon watercolor painting. This is her third art show at Fond du Lac High School. Grace feels strongly about those who wish to participate in the art show and those who have. “When it comes down to it, always be yourself,” Reader said.
local
Kaitlyn Demoske’s drawing in colored pencil Photo courtesy: Sara Edgren
“I typically get the inspiration for my artwork in things that I find to be pretty” Amber Wells, Junior
“WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, ALWAYS BE YOURSELF” Grace Reader, Junior
Brianna Gurno’s Congressional Art Award painting in Acrylic. Photo courtesy: Sara Edgren
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Local
WE RIDE FOR THOSE WHO DIED Police Unity Tour by Casey McKeough, Reporter
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n May, many officers and their Md.; the final day was from Columbia, Md. families gathered in Philadelphia to bike to Washington, D.C. along with one another to raise awareness Detective William Ledger at the Fond du for the police officers who lost their life in Lac Police Department has ridden in the Pothe line of duty and to help raise money lice Unity Tour for five years. He first joined for the National Law Enforcement Ofthe tour when Officer Craig A. Birkholtz ficer’s Memorial and from the Fond du Museum. The Police Lac Police DepartUnity Tour is now the ment was killed in official sponsor of the the line of duty on National Law EnforceMarch 20, 2011. ment Officers MemoLedger started ridrial Fund. ing because he was a The Police Unity survivor. Tour is a bicycle ride. “The ride itself Each day has is a new was tough: 280 destination in store for miles in four days,” riders. Each year, the Ledger said, “It’s an bikers start in different emotional experiDetective William Ledger ence and for some a locations. Day one this year was from Philadelvery spiritual experiphia to New Castle, Del.; day two was from ence. No matter what, it is always a good New Castle, Del. to Aberdeen, Md.; day time and starts up a fire within you.” three was from Aberdeen, Md. to Columbia, Ledger rides to mainly spread awareness for the fallen police officers. Each year, the ride ends in Washington, D.C. at the Police Memorial Wall. “There are 21 thousand names of the officers on the monument,” Ledger said, “The saddest part about the monument is that it will always be open and names will always be added but they will never be forgotten.” Each year, the Wisconsin riders ride for different fallen officers. Each photos courtesy: melanie ledger (all) bike has a picture
"THERE ARE 21 THOUSAND NAMES OF THE OFFICERS ON THE MONUMENT,"
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of the fallen officers on the back of their seat, always giving hope and reminding each rider why they are biking for hours at a time. This year, the 31 Wisconsin riders rode for Ozaukee County Sheriff ’s Office Deputy Sheriff Adam Hartwig, Salem Department of Public Safety Officer Michael J. Ventura, Rusk County Sheriff ’s Office Deputy Dan Glaze, Jr. and Wayne State University Police Department Officer Colin J Rose.
Local
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Sports
ALL ABOUT THAT PR New head coach at Fondy by Taryn Schwind, Web Director
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evin Braun has been running himself during his years in high school, and now he is the head coach of the Fond du Lac track team. To him, this year feels similar to last year’s season, but the big difference is the added amount of responsibility. He says that it can be frustrating, but he is surrounded by supportive staff that makes being head coach fun and easy. “I really do enjoy coaching,” Braun said. “The best thing is seeing all the hard work pay off for the athletes. I’m all about the personal record.” He says that many athletes are going to compete in La Crosse for State Track and Field in June. Despite their promising success at La Crosse, Braun is most concerned about his athletes continuing to grow not only as students but as people, along with breaking their personal and school records. “Coach Braun is an awesome coach,” senior Noah Tagliapietra said. “I’ve been lucky to have him since I started running my sophomore year. He is super laid back and we have a lot of fun at practice. The atmosphere is really fun but, at the same time he pushes really hard and knows what we’re capable.” Many athletes have broken school records such as Andrew Stone, Ben Schmitz, Kiernan Koepke and Noah Tagliapietra. Tagliapietra said there has not been too many noticeable changes with Coach Severson stepping down and Coach Braun taking his place. The team still puts forward their best effort everyday, rain or shine. His favorite part about track is the team atmosphere and how practice is always exciting. Personally, Tagliapietra’s season has been an overall success. His favorite event is the 1600 meter race because it is fast paced but it can always be very strategic as well. His personal record is 4 minutes and 16 seconds. Tagliapietra has broken three of his personal records and says that he is very fortunate that Fond du Lac has such an amazing coaching
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Everyone on the track team running in the Regional Championship. Photo Courtesy: Kevin Braun
staff to help him get where he is today. He said next year’s season should be interesting because many talented seniors will be graduating and this will make room for younger athletes to show what they are able to do. “Overall it’s a success,” Braun said. “We had more athletes come out to compete this year than years past. We have broken school records, defended invite wins from last year and have won more invites this season on all levels being Freshman, Junior Varsity, and Varsity.” Next year, Coach Braun plans on to keep progressing as a team and keep getting personal records.
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"COACH BRAUN IS AN AWESOME COACH. I'VE BEEN LUCKY TO HAVE HIM SINCE I STARTED RUNNING MY SOPHOMORE YEAR." Senior Noah Tagliapietra
Sports
The soccer team getting donations for the Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin’s Cancer Research Center Photo Courtesy: Cardinals Nest
KNOCK OUT CANCER Scoring a good blow on cancer by Vyla Shea, Copy Editor
O
n May 11, Over $400 was raised and will be donated to the Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin’s Cancer Research Center due to the donations from just one soccer game. Mollie Tennessen, who graduated last year, was diagnosed with cancer more than a year ago, but is now cancer-free and came to support the game. When Mollie was diagnosed, she was in her senior year of high school and the school held multiple fundraisers for cancer research as well as Mollie and her family. One of these fundraisers was fo-
cused around soccer, which Mollie played throughout high school and the school sold purple t-shirts with the quote, “Knock Out Cancer” written on the back. The bleachers were filled with students and parents wearing the purple shirt in support of not only the team, but Mollie too. Halftime incorporated the audience as well as Mollie Tennessen where anyone in the crowd could pay $2 to try and score a goal on her. It has been smooth sailing for Mollie, but it’s another story for the girl’s varsity soccer team. The current season has been bumpy
for the team, but the girls worked together and therefore brought the team to victory. “It’s been a little rough but things are looking up,” Madison Owens said in regards to the season as a whole. In the end, the game raised hundreds of dollars and brought the community together to celebrate the girl’s soccer team in addition to Mollie being cancer-free. “I think it’s pure luck that we came out with a win but we’ve been practicing hard and hopefully next week will be prettier,” goalie, Kirsten Colton said.
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FEATURES
Stories for the Ages A View on Generation Now
Stories
for the
Ages Tales from the Past by Dony Kat, Sports Editor
T
ime. The one force of nature that will eventually claim us all. It works against all of us, as none of us truly know how much time we have left. Time is an inescapable force that will never cease to be. While we all experience time the same way, what we do with our time is completely unique to ourselves. We all live our lives in our ways. Our experiences and our families shape us into the people we are. Through the good and the bad, our lives are driven by our experiences. Things just happen. We might not know why, or how. But these experiences mold us into who we are. We don’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we deal with these experiences. This story has taken months of work to write. After dozens of interviews, the stories here represent some of the finest people this state has to offer. Be forewarned that some the following stories may be hard to read. The following people have not lived easy lives, but they have lived to tell the tale.
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I
t is said that bad things happen to good people, but also that good people will always persevere. Nobody better demonstrates this than Amanda Rislen. Amanda was born Sept. 17 1932, in the town of Necedah, WI, just south of the Wisconsin Rapids. She was one of eleven children born into a chaotic family. The Great Depression was in full swing, and the unemployment rate was surging past 20 percent. Rislen’s mother died in 1938 when she was six. “I wasn’t sure how she died,” Rislen said. “She went in her sleep. It was peaceful, just like she deserved.” Rislen is a soft spoken woman. She’s small and feeble, but her presence alone is enough to make anyone smile. “It was hard on all of us,” Rislen said. “I was the third youngest child in the family so I had lots of older siblings. At first I didn’t know what was going on; a lot of people were coming in and out of the house. I was too young to realize what was going on … When my father couldn’t get work, he turned to other more illegal ways to make money. He turned my childhood home into a brothel. My oldest brothers, the ones who could move, found work outside of town in Milwaukee and Chicago. My oldest brother, David, joined the army, and when the war broke out he was shipped out to Africa and then Italy… I saw things that no little girl should ever see. My father wasn’t a good person.”
men was Michael Hanson. “I enlisted when I dropped out of high school during my senior year, [but] looking back I wish I hadn’t,” Hanson said. “I was a farmer’s kid and an only child, school just wasn’t my thing; I just couldn’t pay attention for longer than five minutes. When the war started to heat up, I got just the stupidest idea. I thought to myself, I’m 18. I’m going to enlist, I’m going to go overseas, I’m going to be a soldier, and most importantly I’m going to be a hero.” The Korean War is often referred to as the Forgotten War. There was no victory, no defeat; there wasn’t a decisive win against the Communists. The war just ended. A total of sixteen countries sent ground forces into Korea and The United States accounted for Rislen’s father was eventually inves- 90 percent of the total. tigated and arrested in 1941. Rislen would “I was deployed in August of 1951, spend the next three years in foster care. and I was part of an engineering company,” Then, when her brother David returned Hanson said. “We were fixing bridges that from Europe, he gained guardianship over the Chinese had destroyed. I was miles beRislen and her siblings. hind the front line.” “The closest thing I have to a real Hanson was itching for some action. “After about a month of patching roads and rebuilding bridges, we finally got relocated to the front lines,” Hanson HERO said. “What people seem to forget about Michael Hanson Korea is that it was a trench war. You don’t understand father figure, was my oldest brother. It’s what a nightmare those trenches were. In weird.” some cases, the Chinese would have trenches Somehow despite her rough child- as close as twenty meters away from us. The hood, Rislen made the most out of her life. day I was wounded we were out in between She did well in school and eventually got a the trenches. ... We were moving up when nursing degree. She worked out of a hos- the first shells came in. The whistling from pital in Wisconsin Dells. In 1958, she met the rounds is what I remember. Not the exher husband, Matthew, and the two settled plosion, but the whistling.” down and had two kids of their own. Hanson and his brigade found “I wasn’t going to raise a big family, themselves trapped between two horrible I had learned my lesson,” Rislen said. “Yes, outcomes. The Chinese artillery hit directly I had a bad childhood, but I didn’t let those behind them, and in front of them was an experiences defy me. I pushed through it and entire trench line of Chinese soldiers. I’m glad to say I’ve lived a happy life.” “They didn’t train us for that kind Many of us fail to realize that the of situation,” Hanson said. “What do you do world doesn’t revolve around us. We imagine when no one knows what to do? Do you folourselves as the hero of our own story. We low others or do you save yourself? We didn’t strive for glory and success. know what to do. What could we do? You In 1951, the Korean War was in full had to stay down and hope to God a round swing. The country rallied against the Com- wouldn’t hit near you. In my case, one did. munist menace, and thousands of young In a split second, dozens of pieces of shrapnel men answered the call of duty. One of those hit me.”
“I SPENT TWO YEARS IN KOREA, BUT THAT ONE PATROL IS WHERE I REALIZED I WASN’T A ”
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Hanson and the rest of his brigade were eventually able to pull out after the nearly hour long barrage of artillery finally ended. A total of twenty three men were wounded and four were killed. Hanson received a Purple Heart and was placed into military medical care. “I spent two years in Korea, but that one patrol is where I realized I wasn’t a hero,” Hanson said. “There wasn’t any glory in this, only stupid boys wanting to be heroes. There are real heroes in war, men who do extraordinary things, but the majority of those boys out in Korea shouldn’t have been there. I mean, God bless the Army and everything they do, I just wish I had thought it all through a bit more.” Hanson never got to finish high school. After the war, he returned home and eventually settled down in Wautoma. The war still haunts him to this day. “I missed out on my youth,” Hanson said. “I was a kid who thought he could become a man through war. I could have gotten an education and a good job, but I wanted to make my country proud. Which me and everyone over there in Korea did, but for a long time I wasn’t proud of myself.” Our decisions can haunt us for the rest of our lives. Our emotions and our dreams don’t always lead us down the right path. However, in some cases our decisions impact not just ourselves, but others. Carl Von Haessler is a German immigrant living just outside of New Berlin. His parents moved to the United States in
1938 when he was just three months old. As a young German boy growing up in a war torn world, Von Haessler faced a world filled with hate. “I myself wasn’t personally discriminated against, [but] my father couldn’t find a job,” Von Haessler said. “Nobody wants to hire a man with a thick German heritage when you’re at war with Germany.” Von Haessler and his family eventually came to Milwaukee. Here, they found refuge among Wisconsin’s German population. “I don’t remember much about the war,” Von Haessler said. “I remember the end when Berlin fell. We wished the Allies would get there before the Russians but our hopes didn’t come true. We still had family there.” For Von Haessler, the emotional impact of the second World War wouldn’t be felt until his school days. “I was a child, [and] my parents never really explained the full extent of Germany’s role in the war,” Von Haessler said. “I don’t blame them, at the time as a people we were still coming to terms as to what happened in Germany. My friends and I would play war for fun, just like we should be doing we were young boys. However, I was always casted as the German. It made sense at the time I was German. I would speak German when we played too. I was a good actor. It wasn’t until I went to school when I stopped speaking German. I was bullied as a child. The boys who would bully me would call me ‘krout.’ I didn’t know what it meant until I asked my father.”
A View on
Generation
Now G
by John Haas, Local Editor
It was then where Von Haessler’s father explained to him why there was such disdain for the Germans. “I remember crying to my father saying that I didn’t want to be German because it made me a bad person,” Von Haessler said. “This is when he told me the most important lesson of my life. He told me that there are always going to be evil people in the world, and a lot of them will be just like you. There are bad Americans, Englishmen, Frenchmen, and even Germans. However, for each bad man in the world there are ten good men to outdo him.” Von Haessler took this to heart, and as a young man he traveled to Central America, Israel, Asia and Africa. During the Rwandan genocides of the 90’s, Carl lead several mission trips to refugee camps throughout western Africa. “For me, it was almost a way to find redemption,” Von Haessler said. “I am a very religious man, and it was very difficult for me to go… I was an old man by that time, but it was something I had to do.” Von Haessler learned to not let the actions of someone else’s past harm his future. He didn’t let his heritage defy him. It is his actions that make him into the man he is. “I think about those refugees from Syria, I feel for them,” Von Haessler said. “They are victims of their own heritage, as I was so many years ago. So if I could say anything to people, I would say be kind open your heart. Learn from the past and strive for a better future.”
Teachers open up about Generation Z tendencies
enerational talk hinges on what may believably be self-serving bias and hypocritical analysis from those speaking of their own generation and outliers who look on another generation and pass judgement, respectively. However, teachers, in regard to their accessibility to an everyday review of their students’ behaviors and temperaments, offer a very beneficial dual-vision of both an outside perspective on Generation Z (the generation following the Millennials) and an insight into how Generation Z students deal with challenges. This dual-vision produces points of consideration for an attentive generation to help promote valuable traits and provide an awareness of less admirable characteristics. What might be easily spotted from that vantage point are the things which enable Generation Z the most.
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“I would say there’s a lot more special, inclusive activities,” English teacher Jenny McClyman said, who was born in 1980. “There’s a lot more safety regulations. The world of technology has made things a lot more accessible, has made things easier in a sense, perhaps even made people more lazy. I would just say, really, the Internet allowed this generation to probably advance further at a lot faster pace with information at their fingertips.” Just as well, there are some enduring qualities between the generations. “I still see that same kind of drive and determination to succeed and to go on to college,” McClyman said. “I still see students in this generation as being hard working and having those capabilities.” McClyman laughed at a bit of irony in thinking of what difficulties are relevant for those of Generation Z. “It’s probably the same thing,” she said. “I think sometimes in this generation, kids are kind of overwhelmed by all of the different options out there.” “I think, too, they’re used to things being more transcripted,” she said. “I have students who tend to kind of panic if I don’t have exact parameters for an assignment. If I leave it too open they tend to not like that.” Psychology teacher Nathaniel Groves finds this commonality as well. “Here, I’ve seen that kids are used to getting information in such a specific way,” Groves said. “It stifles creativity quite a bit. Those are skills that you establish right away. Part of the difficulty is adjusting because of being set in ways of learning their entire lives.” The aspect of technology seems obvious as an answer to what causes many sources of anxiety. At least, that is, the stimulation seems clearly at fault to those who’ve seen it develop rather than those who’ve exclusively lived with this level of technological all their lives. It’s a shift that’s as simple as too much exposure to screentime while at the same time is as complex as a generation’s panic for plans of the future. Additionally, temperaments seem to be changing in an inhibitory way. “I see a lot more emotional and mental kind of issues with students than even when I first began teaching, and so I don’t know if that’s a result of having the technology and being kind of closed with
that face-to-face communication or if it’s a matter again of if things aren’t completely structured and kind of planned out for them, it’s troublesome to them,” McClyman said. “They kind of tend to over worry and overthink things.” This shows in social relations too, at least from a teacher’s perspective on the stifled creativity and structure perceived. “Kids don’t like working in groups,” Groves said. He has noticed this as online activity takes away certain social behavior. “Eye-contact and basic social skills are struggling a bit,” he said. It follows that one of the biggest things which has developed through Generation Z is a change in the classroom teaching style. It requires both the student and teacher cooperation to utilize the tool effectively though. “I would say this is definitely the generation of computer technology,” McClyman said. “It’s insane in the last decade. If you look around the room, these computers weren’t here 6 years ago.” “People a little older don’t really understand the good as well as the bad,” Groves said. “Finding a way to incorporate it is a challenge.” Outside of the classroom, there’s another relevant perspective which involves a large portion of Generation Z, at least as far as what can be seen in the proximity of Wisconsin. “Although I do not want to add too much pessimism with this, I do feel that the younger generation has more of
a sense of entitlement,” McClyman said. “I experienced this most as a coach. As a player, I never would have even thought to question a coach. It happens a lot now with players and parents alike and creates an experience that drives a lot of good people away from coaching because they want to avoid the stress and negativity.” Generation Z seems to hold even an unconscious drive to gravitate toward the tendency of searching immediate gratification. To take the good with the bad is necessary for advancing successfully with the inundation of technology. Temperament and social relations struggle, but that leads to the important fact of needing awareness of what hurts the technology generation.
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CULTURE
Hollywood Blockbusters Game of Thrones Humanz Review
Culture
GAME OF THRONES PHOTO COURTESTY (ALL) : HBO
Recap and News About Upcoming Season Seven Nicole Pomplin, Copy Editor, and Duncan Corbin, Reporter SPOILERS AHEAD Game of Thrones”, the fantasy television show based off of George R. R. Martin’s book series, has been HBO’s record breaking show for six seasons. From its debut in 2011, “Game of Thrones” is episode after episode of layered and intense visual storytelling. On March 9 2017, it was announced by HBO that there would be a new season of the show. The air date for season seven will be set for July 16 of this year. Unlike every other season, the upcoming season 7 will only have seven episodes in it. Season 8 is said to be the final season, and it will only have six episodes instead of ten. The show’s main premise is about power and politics. It takes place on the
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continent known as Westeros, which is also divided up into seven sub-kingdoms: The North, Vale, Stormland, The Reach, The Westerlands, The Iron Islands and Dorn. The main families (also known as houses) in the show are House Stark, House Lannister, The Great House, House Martell, House Arryn, House Karstark, House Tyrell, House Baratheon, House Bolton, House Greyjoy and House Frey. The show is based in 15th century England that is the size of America. WARNING! For those of you who are not caught up on this show, do NOT read further unless you want to read spoilers. But for those of you who are caught up, here is a little recap. Season 1 The Starks and the Baratheons come
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together and marry the Baratheon’s Joffery Baratheon and the Stark’s Sansa Stark. Meanwhile, the Biserys Targaryen arranges the marriage of his sister Daenerys to Kahl Drogo, the leader of the Dothrakians. The Nightswatch guards the wall over rumors of the Whitewalkers. Major deaths are Ned Stark (killed by Joffrey), Khal Drogo, King Robert Baratheon and Daenerys lost her baby. Season 2 The seven kingdoms are at war with Rob Stark (AKA: The King of the North) who is fighting for independence for the people of the Riverlands and The North. Joffrey Baratheon holds the Iron Throne with the powerful house of Lannister but Joffreys
Culture uncle, Renly Baratheon, wants the throne. However his brother Stannis has the exact same idea, and with the help of Melisandra and some rather questionable magic he successfully takes control of the Baratheon house. Daenerys Targaryen has had three dragons hatch and she wants to reclaim the Iron Throne as her father previously had and attempts to lead her few followers to a safe haven. There was only one true major death and that was King Renly Baratheon. Season 3
The Seven Kingdoms are still in a civil war as they are preparing for winter that can last years. Joffrey Baratheon has created an alliance with house Tyrell to help him defeat his uncle Stannis. Robb Stark makes an alliance with House Frey by marrying one of Walder’s daughters. Stannis forms an alliance with Lady Melisandra. Beyond the wall, the White Walkers move towards Westros. The three major deaths in season three all happened at the Red Wedding where the Starks are betrayed by the Freys and they were Catelyn Stark, Robb Stark and Talisa Stark.
Season 5
The war of the Five Kingdoms is still raging on. Tywin Lannister has been shot by his son Tyrion. Roose Boltons son Ramsay Snow has now been legitimized to be a Bolton and has taken over Winterfell and has taken Theon Greyjoy as his slave and calls him Reek. After murdering his father, Tyrion has left across the narrow sea to the free cities. Arya Stark has fled to Bravos to meet the Faceless Man. Jon Snow attempts to save the wildlings but is betrayed by his own men and is apparently stabbed to death. In season five, the major deaths were John Snow who was later brought back to life by Lady Melisandre (AKA The Red Woman), Maester Aemon, Stannis Baratheon, Myranda and Myrcella Baratheon. Season 6
Cersei Lannister has been shamed publicly by the Faith of the Seven as she awaits her trial for incest. Arya Stark kills Meryn Trant without the faceless man’s per-
mission so he makes her blind. The Battle of the B@$tards happens between Jon Snow and his army and Ramsay Bolton and his army. Rickon Stark dies from an arrow shot by Ramsay which starts the battle. In the end, Ramsay gets eaten by his dogs. Major deaths in season six were Doran Martell, Trystane Martell, Roose Bolton, Walda Frey, Frey-Bolton baby, Hodor, Rickon Stark, Ramsay Bolton, Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, High Sparrow, King Tommen Baratheon and Walder Frey. Season 7 There are many theories about season seven such as Cersei becoming the “Mad Queen”, Jamie will kill Cersei, Tyrion Lannister is really a Targaryen and Euron Greyjoy will control a dragon. Bran will bring the White Walkers to Westeros, Jorah will be healed of Greyscale and that Greyscale could be used as a biological weapon. But the only way to find out if they are true or not is to watch the new season of “Game of Thrones”.
Season 4: All Men Must Die! The war of the Five Kingdoms is coming to an end. Robb Stark, Catelyn, Talsa who is pregnant, as well as most of the Northern Leadership are killed in the Red Wedding because Robb Stark Betrayed Walder because he married Talsa and not Walder Frey’s daughter. Joffrey marries Margaery Tyrell to form an alliance and he ends up poisoned at his own wedding. Tyrion Lannister sends his niece, Myrcella to Sunspear to get married to Trystane Martell. He is then tried for the murder of Joffrey and is set through a trial of combat. Which is were Oberyn Martell dies at the hands of the Mountain Sir Gregor Clegane. House Stark is on the Verge of extinction with only Sansa, Rickon, Brann and Jon Snow. Jon Snow defends the wall from the wilding and in one of the series saddest moments, Ygritte his one love dies in his arms at the Battle of Castle Black. Season four’s major deaths were Joffrey Baratheon (Finally!!!!), Great Master, Oberyn Martell, Ygritte, Shae and Tywin Lannister. CARDINAL COLUMNS.ORG
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Humanz Album Review By Noah Burdett, Managing Editor, and James Linstrom, Reporter
G
orillaz is back. Virtual british superstars Gorillaz released their album “Humanz” April 28 and hasn’t lost a single spark of insanity which made them notable and highly praised. The band started in 1998 as the brainchild of Damon Albarn, former frontman for the band Blurr, and Tank Girl animator Jamie Hewlett debuted as the first virtual band in existence and created various hits such as Feel Good Inc., Clint Eastwood and Dare. Damon’s main focus for the album was to immerse the audience into the world of Gorillaz. Pairing up with T-Mobile’s electronic beats, they released an app named “Gorillaz” which allows users to view an augmented reality on their cellphones using the phone’s camera. Exclusive versions of the application are available in the U.K.
which allows users to step into the world of Gorillaz using the color magenta in the same way as a green screen to create the same effect. The album “Humanz” merges Electronica, Soul, Rap and Alternative Rock for a unique sound meant to create a mercurial atmosphere to get lost in. “Every tune had to kind of encapsulate pain, joy and urgency,” Damon Albarn said during an interview with Hot 97.1 New York. Collaborations with Mavis Staples, Danny Brown, Pusha T, D.R.A.M., Anthony Hamilton and others continue to keep the band on track with their overall goal of deconstructing the barriers between different musical genres and de-idolizing musical stars to focus on the music itself rather than
the face behind the music. Moreover, “Humanz” is also a statement on current political powers, especially a world under the influence of President Trump’s administration. “This ridiculous idea which we started talking about in January of last year about imagine the world on the night that Donald Trump wins the election. How would we feel?” Damon Albarn said. While direct references to President Trump himself and former President Obama were later edited out before the album’s release, Damon justified his actions by claiming he did so as to not date the songs, although the indirect references towards the political scene are still apparent with highly suggestive lyrics as well as its social narrative.
“Let Me Out” Feat. Mavis Staples and Pusha T This track was released as a teaser for the album. As expected, the song maintains itself as one of the strongest tracks on the entire album. Mavis Staples works perfectly with the timbre of Pusha T’s sound.* While the pairing of artists was unusual, it works beautifully. The lyrical flow meshes well with the manic yet subtle instrumentals; they also give the song an atmosphere by adding static background noise giving the song a slight cybernetic aura. The song manages to capture the same type of commentary strung throughout the album. It highlights the struggles of life within the inner cities by listing the many ways people find an escape like religion or other means of gaining inner strength to keep looking forward to a better future.
8.5/10
* “I wanted to create a conversation between the youth and the elders that I thought were missing not only in pop culture but in the community as a whole so I thought who better to get Pusha T and Mavis Staples to do it.” -The Twilite Tone (producer and collaborator on the album from Hip-hop trio De La Soul)
“Ascension” Feat. Vince Staples This Hip-hop techno beat combination has an abstract introduction incorporating a slight “New Beginnings” aesthetic when leading into Vince Staples portion of the song accompanied by a quick paced rhyme scheme. While the chorus is repetitive, the song overall has a fun, easy to listen to beat. While there is no major message within the song, it definitely fits in as a great introduction.
7/10 “Andromeda” Feat. D.R.A.M. It has a relaxing electronica club beat which is great for relaxing and daydreaming. The song inspires a fun, poppy feeling in the beginning. While D.R.A.M. seems under utilized in the song, having softly sung only a single four bar bridge, it shows him in a different environment than what he’s used to. The song alone is a good quality, though it doesn’t have many unique features to make it stand out. Despite this, the part it plays in the album in conjunction to “Busted and Blue” is impressive.
7/10 “Busted and Blue” This song is one of the most appreciable songs in the album and is named appropriately. 2-D’s nonchalant vocals along with the mellow tune gives an accurate portrayal of a humbled loneliness. The song is reminiscent of “Plastic Beach”’s “On Melancholy Hill” and copies the same undertones which follow throughout “The Fall” EP, giving the feel of a very Damon Albarn driven song. Towards the end, it raises a question of what is to inspire the feel of the album to rise above self pity.
8/10
“Andromeda”’s wonder-filled theme evokes curiosity which later transitions into a doleful ending. It gives the song a feeling of trying to find comfort within the insignificant. These undertones merge seamlessly with “Busted and Blue”’s theme of dealing with inner demons and self hatred.
“Sex Murder Party” Feat. Jamie Principle and Zebra Katz “Carnival” Feat. Anthony Hamilton “Sex Murder Party” is the weakest song on the album. It has a disconnected feel as it lacks production value due to its over-the-top insincere singing from Jamie Principle and layered improv-esque beats. This song should have been a redemption from the song “Carnival”, placed previously in the album. While the song “Carnival” is overall better in production value (it is albeit unbearable), its overall failure lies again within the placement in the album. The song is placed after “Andromeda” and “Busted and Blue” giving the album a huge anticlimactic feel. The fact that it follows afterwards with “Sex Murder Party” compounds the disappointment. “Carnival” should have been the rising action point of the album, and it could’ve been excusable, but unfortunately, it’s followed by an even worse song which falls short in the same ways.
2/10 “The Apprentice” Feat. Rag’n’bone Man, Zebra Katz and Ray BLK “The Apprentice” is a beautiful song with distorted synths and amazing vocals, Rag’n’bone Man leads while 2-D’s vocals act as a beat echoing in the background between verses. Later in the song, Zebra Katz comes in with a similar style of singing as Rag’n’bone Man which is enough for the song to be complete. However, they pack in another artist, Ray BLK, with his deep voice and rhymes hitting hard on the beat. His verse narrates on America’s current political positioning, as well as the general population’s self absorbed tendencies acting as a blindfold made of their material wants. He continues on about how people are being controlled by conformity bringing back the social narratives theme right towards the end of the album.
9/10 “Humanz” overall is a conglomeration of many different talents and their combined strokes of genius. The structure of the album is relevant but lacks consistency in the second half of the album as the social narratives come and go with the wavering production. While the entire album may not be for everyone, it still stands as a successful album, due to the unique pairings of older era music merged with new age electronic-styled music that can be credited as one of the few albums released this year that possesses meaning. No matter if you enjoy these genres or stand behind the presented narrative, one can appreciate the album for what it is: art.
9/10
Culture
HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTERS Movies to catch this summer
by Duncan Corbin, Reporter
irates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales It has been six years since our last adventure on the high seas and this time the adventure seems to trace back to its dark roots and will contain, again, a more mature storyline.
P
Alien: Covenant Previous sequels and spinoffs of the original movie have been deemed as bland or just outright terrible. This time director Ridley Scott promises to release a movie that will be an outstanding cinematic masterpiece.
Wonder Woman This looks like an intense movie. The visual effects and gritty look make me feel like this will rake in the money.
The Mummy From what I have read, this movie seems like nothing but Tom Cruise doing what he does best: running and doing stunts that probably could get anyone else killed.
War for the Planet of the Apes Its nice to see a reboot franchise do so well. The War for the Planet of the Apes seems like a good end to the franchise with the two forces in a war that will determine the fate for the everyone. Transformers: Last Knight This is it. This is Michael Bay’s last attempt at a repetitive, cliche, by the numbers movie that never seemed to die until now. Maybe this time he’ll make a more diverse story that doesn’t borrow shots from the previous movies. Spiderman: Homecoming Not have seeing any of the Spiderman films, I cannot say anything about this franchise but I can say that this film looks interesting with Peter Parker wanting to become something more than just Spiderman.
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Dunkirk Christopher Nolan is one of the many cinematic Gods along with Quentin Tarantino, and Martin Scorsese. Nolans new release of Dunkirk seems like yet another winner with stunning visuals, a dark
"THIS IS THE MOVIE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A LONG TIME TO SEE" story and a PG-13 rating. Wait, what? This better not be an R rated movie that was cut down to PG-13 just to get more butts in seats. This is the movie I have
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been waiting for a long time to see and I believe that this will be the best movie this summer.
Culture
BLUE WHALE SUICIDE SCARE Threat or no Threat by Zoe Walsh, Reporter
O
dds are you’ve never heard of the Blue Whale Game. The creator of the game, Philipp Budeikin, is being held under charges of inciting at least 16 school girls in Russia to commit suicide. There are 130 more suicides of children that have occurred worldwide since the online challenge first appeared in November of 2015. These deaths are under investigation. The game consists of completing tasks over a series of 50 days. Tasks involve waking at unusual hours, watching disturbing videos, killing animals and self harming. On the 50th day, the player is urged to jump from the top of the highest building they can find. The game targets middle school and high school aged youth but mainly young girls. The victims were chosen at random based upon who agreed to participate in the challenge. “They were dying happy,” Budeikin said during questioning. “I was giving them what they didn’t have in real life: warmth, understanding, connections. There are people – and there is biological waste. Those who do not represent any value for society. Who cause or will cause only harm to society. I was cleaning our society of such people.” To some, this is an example of a flaw in the mental health system as a whole. “There is no love in this system, it is completely void of love,” school psychologist Monica Zindler said. “Things like this gain momentum when people can’t find compassion in their everyday lives.” There’s no way of knowing whether or not this game is a threat to the students at Fond du Lac High School, but no one from Student Services had heard of this challenge before being contacted.
This isn’t to say that it still couldn’t be a threat to students at Fond du Lac High School, and if you are struggling, Blue
Whale Game or not, please do get help and talk to someone, whether it is a counselor in Student Services or someone from a hotline.
"IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING, BLUE WHALE GAME OR NOT, PLEASE DO GET HELP AND TALK TO SOMEONE, WHETHER IT IS A COUNSELOR IN STUDENT SERVICES OR SOMEONE FROM A HOTLINE."
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Beauty BU FFS
Trendy Tips From Your Favorite Gurus
Austin Scott and Jensyn Ronca
DIY
Face mask
This amazing DIY face mask can remove spots, scars. acne and even wrinkles! You just need the following ingredients: ~ 1 teaspoon of lemon juice ~ 1 teaspoon of honey ~ 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon powder ~ 1/2 teaspoon of nutmeg Mix these household ingredients together in a bowl, and then you’re finished! Apply it to the face with clean hands, and get results of healthier skin.
J
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he te nt am i o Thanks for all of your supporT This year! love, Jen and ausTin
Want longer and also stronger finger nails? We have a do it yourself “nail soak” for you! ~You will need: ~1/4 cup orange juice (freshly squeezed) ~ 1 clove chopped garlic ~ 1/4 cup olive oil. ~ Grab a bowl and mix all of the ingredients listed. ~ Wash your hands first ~ Soak your finger nails for 15 minutes, do this 2-3 times a week for the best results!
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Horoscopes
Virgo, find your sense Aries, have you been feelof worth again. for it ing rushed lately? There’s no Capricorn, stop sitting seems like you have need. Just take a step back around and keeping to lost it. Bring yourself and relax, life is not meant to yourself. Find something up rather than beat be rushed, it is meant to be yourself down. There’s that entertains you and enjoyed. makes you feel more a lot of positive things about your persona, alive. Go outside, discovTaurus, your mind has been er a new hobby. The opremember that. running wilde lately. Try and tions are endless if you’re stop thinking so much, things Libra, stop trying to be willing to leave your bedhave their way of working room. a perfectionist. You can themselves out. You can’t con- do things to the best of trol everything. Aquarius, there are your ability, but nothing can truly be perfect. hundreds of experiences Gemini, have you become a out there waiting for you. Relax and try to do master of procrastination? Try your best. That’s all you Get outside of the bubble and get yourself out of that that you’ve been so comcan do, after all. habit. Finish things early, you fortably living in. As will find that your stress will Scorpio, is the stress in many have said, “live life start to ease. to the your life overwhelmfullest.” ing? A stress filled life is Cancer, your life has been usually not a good one. threatened by negative enFocus on your passions Pisces, stop having such a ergy. Start creating your own and what makes you material mind. Yes, there happiness, you are in charge are plenty of things that happy instead of the of it. things that cause you you may want, but don’t confuse those things with stress. Leo, have you been bottling the things that you truly up your emotions? Get all of need. Sagittarius, Are you your feelings out. Vent to a sick and tired of befriend or just scream. ing sick and tired? Get some good rest and find time to sleep. Your mental health will improve.
Opinion
DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA by Robert Brown, Editor-In-Chief
The sancted separation between church and state is being destroyed
DEAR AMERICA,
I
f I were to walk up to you and preach my values that you did not agree with and, on occasion, find it offensive, you would obviously brush me off like the crazy person I am. But I don’t. You shouldn’t either. Do not treat others, especially minority religions, atheists and non-affiliated persons like heathens, because beliefs are different within all of us. Different cultures coming together in the cliche melting pot we all speak of is what this country stands for -- most of the time -- and shouldn’t be at risk of collapse. Our country is not a theocracy. It is a democracy with a clear separation of church and state. Our president clearly doesn’t respect that -- not like I would expect him to do so. Our president is not a deity or respectable, at that. Do not treat this country like a gift of God, because it’s not. It’s the result of smart government decisions and American unity at the core of liberty and equality.
Religion might have a place in your heart and soul, but it doesn’t in mine. This country was formed on religious freedom. Keep that part of this divisive society intact. Opting out of worshipping a religion or worshipping another religion that you do not align yourself as is a part of religious freedom. If we have a country where our law and order is centered around faith-based statutes and Christianity-inspired oaths, the feeling of freedom might feel a little less euphoric for a minority group that gets tread on in our society. Our country lacks an official religion to express the very diversity that peoples from around the globe see and aspire to be a part of some day. They see opportunity where there is diversity, and where there is diversity, there is acceptance and tolerance. Making the clear line in the sand irrelevant or kicking down the sand castle of tolerance when it comes to religion and politics gives the sense of a Christian siege on aspects of our government that is already struggling with its own identity.
ASK TARIENE AND GENNA Dear Tariene and Genna, How do you keep motivation going and procrastination away at the end of Dear Slacking, the school year? You don’t. There is no way to -Slacking keep yourself motivated especially if you are a senior. -Tariene and Genna 25
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The move by President Donald Trump is both dangerous and disappointing for many reasons. The aforementioned points don’t just express my anger and frustration, but many others across America. Tax-exempt churches have no place in our political system. Religious organizations have no place in our political system. That’s that. I say enough. Phobias of minority groups fueled by religious texts: enough. Discrimination per thousands of years old guidelines created in the Middle East: enough. Don’t lay an assault on my right to be a non-affiliated person in the land of opportunity. Please, for the love of God: enough already. Find it in your heart and soul to stand up and say no to intolerance, sexism, homophobia, transphobia and censorship of progressive opinions, as well as anything that is immoral and unjust to pin on one’s shoulders as an individual, especially aspects that one cannot change about one’s self. An advice column created to answer YOUR questions! Thanks for a great year!
Dear Tariene and Genna, What are some good gift ideas for teachers at the end of the year? -Teacher’s Pet
FIDGET SPINNERS SUCK
A rant on 2017’s most popular toy by
F
idget spinners, a trend that has recently caught on, unfortunately. They’re a type of stress reliever to aid people who can’t sit still or “fidget”. They are marketed with health benefits, but recently they’ve been getting mainstream popularity and are very annoying and distracting. They’ve been banned in multiple schools across the country, and it should be banned in ours. Fidget spinners are an annoying distraction to everyone, not just the people using them. They also give me a deep burning hatred for anyone using one. Even if you need one for “medical purposes”, it’s still annoying. Even if you REALLY have a medical need, there are other devices to “fidget” with. Another reason they’re so annoy-
Opinion
Bailey Breister, Reporter
ing: people want them just because they a good thing. Because it means it’s a trend, caught on. People see someone else playing and like all trends, it will eventually stop with their fidget spinner, and they want to and die, and something else will replace it. be a part of that, so they go out and buy Hopefully it’ll be something less distracting. one. And it spreads. Herd ideology: when one person sees something, the rest copy. And it’s not only with trends. There’s definitely a joke in owning one, which I do actually respect. Actually, I do still find them annoying but I’m currently in the market for one, of course I want one to experience what everyone else is experiencing. A fidget spinner in action. Photo Courtesy: Brianna Burgess But this is also
Dear Tariene and Genna, How do you convince a friend to date Dear Matchmaker, your other friend who has feelings for We suggest you stay out of their them and vice versa but keeps makbusiness, and let them settle it ing excuses not to date him. themselves. Don’t try and play Cupid -Matchmaker in a relationship that doesn’t involve you. -Tariene and Genna Dear Teacher’s Pet, We suggest you get your teacher something meaningful. Or you get them apples. Teachers like apples. Teachers here also seem to like soda, so pay attention to the liquids they have during class. -Tariene and Genna CARDINAL COLUMNS.ORG
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THE PAPER MEMES The memes of the 2016-2017 School Year
Robbie Brown Editor-In-Chief the history of japan “Japan should take the islands!”
Noah Burdett Managing Editor Ancient Aliens Guy “If every night was a production night, I would still need more time.”
Austin Scott Art Director Hagen 2016 “OMG; I love saltwater taffy!”
Taryn Schwind Web Director Copypasta “All I need is a cupcake and a road trip.”
Donovan Katarincic Sports Editor Kermit the Frog “Life is too short for you to not get a chance to live.”
Sydni French Culture Editor Spongemock “Ask me this again in 3 days because I’m gonna procrastinate it just like everything else in my life.”
John Haas Local Editor/Copy Editor Strutting Leo “I came. I saw. I graduated. Fin.”
Brianna Burgess Opinion Editor Rickroll “I’m suffering.”
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Alyssa Keller Social Media Manager Doge “I have no idea.”
Casey McKeough Reporter Indestructable Nokia Phone “Drop your socks and grab your crocs; it’s about to get wet on this ride.” -Schendel
Nicole Pomplin Sports Copy Editor What in Taxation “I’m not your comrade.”
Vyla Shea Culture Copy Editor Grumpy Cat “I hate everybody.”
Camryn Oestreich Opinion Copy Editor Moon Moon “Walking down a beach / stepped on a Lego / a poem of my life”
Allie Woebeeking Reporter *breathes in* boi “I am aware that I am less than some people prefer, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.”
Duncan Corbin Reporter Close Enough “Always be loyal.”
Skiler Heideman Reporter Vladimir Putin “People are like clouds; when they go away the day gets brighter.”
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Jensyn Ronca Reporter New York Meme “It is what it is.”
Mason Biever Reporter Son, I Am Disappoint “Common sense.”
Eliana Torres Reporter Hello, This is Dog “Smile!”
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Bailey Breister Reporter Wojak “They kept rejecting my good quotes, so this one’s mine.”
James Linstrom Reporter Dank Memes “I’ve been thinking of penguins lately. That’s all.”
Zoe Walsh Reporter Crazy Girlfriend “We’re all mad here” - Lewis Carroll
Sara Edgren Reporter 2007 Brittany Spears “I have no idea what is happening.”
THANKS FOR A GREAT YEAR! 29
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- At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.
Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.
nine... Bring it around 30 degrees and Janet, your son’s hold. Spray him, not sure What happened Granny! he wants to go to you? into honey! Where are you? Roses! What are you doing?! - Barry, you - I’m going out. 30 degrees, are so funny - Out? Out roger. Bringing sometimes. where? it around. Wow... the - I’m not trying tension level to be funny. out here is - Out there. Stand to the unbelievable. - Oh, no! side, kid. You’re not It’s got a bit of funny! You’re a kick. I gotta get going I have to, home. into honey. before I go Our son, the to work for the That is one necstirrer! rest of my life. tar collector! Oan’t fly in rain.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah.
- It’s just coffee. - I hate to All right. Well, impose. then... I guess I’ll see you around. - Don’t be - You could put ridiculous! carob chips on - Actually, I Or not. there. would love - Bye. a cup. OK, Barry.
And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat!
No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere?
Hey, Blood. Hey, Hector.
- You almost done? - Almost. It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? He is here. I It’s faster. sense it.
Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.
This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.
Wow!
Oh, Barry, stop.
Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.
now. Those are great, if you’re three.
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. And artificial flowers.
just think of what would it mean.
before? player. - I was with a band called The Police. I’m not much for the game I would have to myself. negotiate But you’ve The ball’s a little with the never been grabby. silkworm a police officer, have you? That’s where I for the elastic in usually sit. my britches! No, I haven’t. Right... there.
Matthew Smith Adviser The Entire Script of The Bee Movie
You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right.
Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.
- You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me!
You’re gonna - Ever see die! You’re crazy! pollination up Hello? close? - No, sir.
It’s just a status Another call symbol. coming in. Bees make too Wait till you see much of it. the sticks I have. If anyone’s feeling brave, Perhaps. I could say there’s a Korean Unless you’re anything right deli on 83rd that hangs after wearing it now. you pour it. and the ladies I’m gonna get Saves us see you wearan ant tattoo! that gets their millions. ing it. roses today. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey
Let’s open some Those ladies? honey and Hey, guys. Aren’t they our celebrate! cousins too? - Look at that. Maybe I’ll - Isn’t that the Of course. Most Distant. pierce my kid we saw bee jobs are Distant. thorax. yesterday? small ones. But Shave my bees know antennae. Look at Hold it, son, these two. flight deck’s that every Shack up with a restricted. small job, grasshopif it’s done well, - Oouple of per. Get means a lot. Hive Harrys. a gold tooth and It’s OK, Lou. - Let’s have fun call everybody We’re gonna with them. “dawg”! take him up. But choose carefully It must be I’m so proud. Really? Feeling dangerous lucky, are you? because you’ll being a Pollen stay in the job Jock. - We’re starting you pick for work today! Sign here, here. the rest of - Today’s Just initial your life. Yeah. Once the day. that. a bear pinned me The same job against a Oome on! All - Thank you. the rest of mushroom! the good jobs - OK. your life? will be gone. I didn’t know that. He had a paw You got a on my throat, Yeah, right. rain advisory and with the today, What’s the other, he was difference? slapping me! Pollen counting, stunt bee, and as you all pouring, know, You’ll be happy - Oh, my! stirrer, front bees cannot fly to know that - I never desk, hair in rain. bees, thought I’d removal... as a species, knock haven’t had one him out. So be careful. As day off - Is it still always, available? watch your What were - Hang on. brooms, in 27 million you doing Two left! years. during this? hockey sticks, One of them’s dogs, So you’ll just Trying to alert yours! Oonbirds, bears work us to the authorities. gratulations! and bats. death? Step to the side. Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
I can autograph that. - What’d you get? - Picking crud Wow! That blew A little gusty out. Stellar! my mind! out there today, wasn’t it, Wow! “What’s the comrades? difference?” How can you Oouple of say that? Yeah. Gusty. newbies? We’ll sure try.
One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make.
Vanessa. Thanks.
We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.
Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are - That’s awful. ready! - And a reminder for you rookies, Make your choice. I’m relieved. bee law number Now we - Six miles, huh? one, only have - Barry! - You want to absolutely to make one go first? no talking to decision - No, you go. humans! in life. A puddle jump for us, but maybe Oh, my. What’s All right, launch But, Adam, how you’re not up available? positions! could they for it. never have told us that? Restroom Buzz, buzz, - Maybe I am. attendant’s buzz, buzz! - You are not! open, Buzz, buzz, Why would not for the buzz, buzz! you question reason you Buzz, buzz, anything? We’re think. buzz, buzz! We’re bees. going 0900 at J-Gate. - Any chance Black and We’re the most of getting the yellow! perfectly What do Krelman? functioning you think, - Sure, society on buzzy-boy? you’re on. Hello! Earth. Are you bee enough? I’m sorry, the You ready for You ever think Krelman just this, hot shot? maybe things I might be. It all closed out. work a little too depends well here? on what 0900 Yeah. Yeah, means. Wax monkey’s bring it on. always open. Like what? Give me one Hey, Honex! Wind, check. example. The Krelman opened up Dad, you again. - Antennae, I don’t know. surprised me. check. But you know - Nectar pack, what I’m talking What hapcheck. about. You decide pened? what you’re interested in? - Wings, check. Please clear A bee died. - Stinger, check. the gate. Makes an openRoyal Nectar - Well, there’s a ing. See? Force on aplot of choices. He’s dead. Scared out proach. - But you only Another of my shorts, get one. dead one. check.
Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain.
I pick up some Mayday! pollen here, Mayday! Bee sprinkle it going down! over here. Maybe a dash over there, Ken, could you close the window a pinch on please? that one. See that? It’s a little bit of Ken, could magic. you close the window please? That’s amazing. Why do we do that? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into That’s pollen a fold-out power. More brochure. pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more You see? honey for us. Folds out. Oool.
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem!
- Supposed to be less calories. - Bye.
I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes. Nah.
What would I say?
Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on!
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where? - These stripes don’t help.
- You know what a Oinnabon is? - No.
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat And thank you it up... so much again... for before. Sit down! Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can’t possibly work.
...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them!
Yes, but who He’s all set can deny to go. the heart that is We may as well yearning? You look great! try it.
There’s no I don’t know if OK, Dave, pull yearning. you know the chute. Stop yearning. I could really anything about Listen to me! get in trouble. fashion. - Sounds amazing. You have got It’s a bee law. Are you all - It was to start thinkYou’re not right? amazing! ing bee, supposed to talk my friend. to a human. Thinking bee! No. It was the scariest, I can’t believe happiest - Thinking bee. I’m doing this. He’s making the moment of - Thinking bee. Oh, no. More tie in the cab my life. humans. I don’t as they’re flying need this. I’ve got to. up Madison. Thinking bee! Humans! I can’t Thinking bee! believe Thinking bee! What was that? Oh, I can’t do He finally gets you were with Thinking bee! it. Oome on! there. humans! Maybe this time. This time. No. Yes. No. This time. This time! This time! This... Do it. I can’t. Drapes! That is diabolical.
How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
It’s fantastic. Here she It’s got all my comes! Speak, special you fool! skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. Hi!
He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke?
Giant, scary humans! What were they like?
You know what your problem is, Barry? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. I gotta start thinking bee? They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t.
What’s number I’m sorry. one? Star Wars? That’s the kind - You’re talking. of stuff we do. - Yes, I know. - How’d you Nah, I don’t go get back? for that... Yeah, different. - Poodle. You’re talking! ...kind of stuff.
I’m so sorry.
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to No, it’s OK. them. It’s fine. They’re out of I know I’m their minds. dreaming. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
But I don’t recall going to bed.
Well, I’m sure this is very disconThere’s the sun. certing. Maybe that’s a way out. This is a bit of a surprise I don’t remem- to me. ber the sun I mean, you’re having a big a bee! 75 on it. I predicted global warming.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or I am. And I’m a doctor, but I not supposed wanted to be a to be doing this, florist. but they were all trying to kill me.
There he is. He’s in the pool.
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.
How much longer will this go on?
Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane!
You don’t have that?
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Really? - Guys! I could feel it - My only inter- - Spider? - This could getting hotter. est is flowers. - I’m not be bad. At first I attracted to thought it was spiders. just me. And if it wasn’t Our new Affirmative. for you... queen was just elected I know it’s the Wait! Stop! Bee! with that same hottest thing, Very close. I had to campaign with the eight thank you. slogan. legs and all. Stand back. It’s just how I Gonna hurt. These are winter was raised. boots. Anyway, if you I can’t get by look... that face. Mama’s That was a little little boy. Wait! weird. There’s my hive So who is she? right there. You are way Don’t kill him! - I’m talking See it? out of position, with a bee. She’s... human. rookie! - Yeah. You know You’re in Sheep I’m allergic to Meadow! No, no. That’s a Ooming in them! I’m talking to bee law. at you like a This thing could a bee. You wouldn’t missile! kill me! And the bee is Yes! I’m right break a talking to me! off the Turtle bee law. Pond! Help me! Why does his life have I just want - Her name’s less value than to say I’m No way! I know Vanessa. I don’t think yours? grateful. that area. - Oh, boy. these are I’ll leave now. I lost a toe ring flowers. there once. Why does his She’s so nice. life have any - Wait! How And she’s a - Should we less value did you learn to - Why do girls florist! tell him? than mine? do that? put rings on - I think he Is that your - What? their toes? Wait a second. knows. statement? - Why not? Oh, no! You’re Oheck it out. Do you ever get Deady. OK, ladies, dating a human bored Deadified. Two The talking florist! doing the same more dead. What is this?! I’m just saying thing. - It’s like putting - Hey, those are job every day? let’s move it out! all life has a hat on your Pollen Jocks! value. You knee. We’re not - Wow. Dead from the Match point! don’t know Same way you - Maybe I’ll dating. Son, let me neck up. Pound those what he’s did, I guess. try that. tell you about Dead from the petunias, capable of “Mama, Dada, I’ve never stirring. neck down. you striped You can start feeling. honey.” You You’re flying seen them this That’s life! stem-suckers! packing up, pick it up. - You all right, outside the hive, close. honey, ma’am? talking You grab that because you’re My brochure! - Oh, yeah. to humans stick, and Oh, this is All of you, drain about to eat it! - That’s very Fine. that attack our They know you just so hard! those flowers! funny. homes what it’s like move it around, There you go, - Yeah. outside the hive. and you stir it Yowser! little guy. Just having two around. Heating, Wow! I’m out! cups of coffee! with power cooling, Bees are funny. washers and Yeah, but some stunt bee, Gross. I’m not scared If we didn’t M-80s! don’t come You get yourself pourer, stirrer, I can’t believe of him. laugh, Anyway, this has One-eighth back. into a rhythm. I’m out! It’s an allergic we’d cry with been great. a stick of It’s a beautiful There’s a bee in thing. what we have to Thanks for the dynamite! thing. humming, inthe car! deal with. coffee. - Hey, Jocks! spector number So blue. - Hi, Jocks! seven, Put that on She saved You know, Dad, lint coordinator, - Do something! your resume Anyway... Yeah, it’s no my life! the more I think stripe I feel so fast - I’m driving! brochure. trouble. And she underYou guys did about it, supervisor, and free! stands me. great! Oan I... - Hi, bee. My whole face Sorry I couldn’t maybe the mite wrangler. Box kite! - He’s back here! could puff up. finish it. If This is over! You’re monsters! honey field Barry, what ...get you I did, You’re sky just isn’t right do you think something? I’d be up the freaks! I love it! for me. I should... Wow! He’s going to Make it one - Like what? rest of my life. Eat this. I love it! Barry? sting me! of your special skills. You were thinkFlowers! I don’t know. I Are you...? This is not - I wonder ing of what, Barry! Nobody move. mean... over! What where they making balloon If you don’t Knocking I don’t know. was that? were. animals? This is Blue move, someone out Ooffee? Oan I take a - I don’t know. All right, Leader. he won’t sting is also a special piece of this we’ve got the We have roses you. Freeze! skill. with me? - They call it a That’s a bad job sunflower visual. I don’t want to crumb. Their day’s not for a guy with a patch put you out. - It was so stinplanned. stinger. in quadrant He blinked! Right. Bye, Sure! Here, have gin’ stripey!
and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.
You’re busted, box boy!
I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in.
I knew I heard It’s a close something. community. So you can talk!
Did you ever think, “I’m Who told you a kid humans are from the hive. I taking can’t do this”? our honey? That’s a rumor. Bees have never been afraid Do these look to change the like rumors? world. That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?
Not us, man. I can talk. We on our And now you’ll own. start talking! Every mosquito He’s been on his own. talking to Oh, my. humans. Where you getting the - What if you Dumb bees! sweet stuff? get in trouble? - What? Who’s your - You a - Talking to supplier? mosquito, you humans?! You must want in trouble. to sting all those jerks. I don’t He has a human understand. Nobody likes girlfriend. I thought we us. They just And they We try not to were friends. smack. make out! sting. See a mosquito, It’s usually fatal smack, smack! for us. The last thing Make out? we want Barry! to do is upset At least you’re So you have bees! out in the to watch your world. We do not. temper. You must meet You’re too late! girls. It’s ours now! - You wish you Very carefully. could. You kick a wall, Mosquito girls - Whose side are take a walk, You, sir, have try to trade up, you on? crossed get with a moth, the wrong dragonfly. write an angry sword! The bees! letter and throw it out. Mosquito girl Work through You, sir, will be don’t want no I dated a cricket it like any lunch mosquito. once in San emotion: for my iguana, Antonio. Ignacio! Those crazy legs You got to be kept me up all Anger, jealousy, kidding me! night. lust. Where is the honey coming from? Mooseblood’s Barry, this is Oh, my about to leave what you want goodness! Are the building! So to do with you OK? Tell me where! long, bee! your life?
It’s
Yeah. It’s been three days! Why aren’t you - What is wrong working? with you?! - It’s a bug.
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
they’re on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still. What? You’re not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?
Barry, I’m talking to you! - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. To Honey You coming? Farms. I am onto What in the something Got everything? name huge here. of Mighty Hercules All set! is this? I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, Go ahead. I’ll How did this crazy stuff. catch up. get here? Blows your Oute Bee, head off! Golden Don’t be too Blossom, long. I’m going to Tacoma. Ray Liotta Watch this! Private Select? - And you? - He really Vanessa! - Is he that is dead. actor? - I never heard - We’re still of him. All right. here. - I told you not to yell at him. - Why is this Uh-oh! here? - For people. He doesn’t We eat it. - What is that?! respond to - Oh, no! yelling! You don’t have enough food of - A wiper! Triple - Then why yell your own? blade! at me? - Triple blade? - Because you don’t listen! - Well, yes. - How do you Jump on! It’s get it? your only I’m not listening chance, bee! to this. - Bees make it. - I know who Why does Sorry, I’ve makes it! everything gotta go. have to be so dogAnd it’s hard to gone clean?! - Where are you make it! going? - I’m meeting a How much do friend. There’s heating, you people need cooling, to see?! stirring. A girl? Is this You need a why you can’t whole Krelman Open your eyes! decide? thing! Stick your head out the window! Bye. - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! From NPR I just hope she’s News in Bee-ish. It’s just honey, Washington, Barry. I’m Oarl Kasell.
- Hey, guys! - Mooseblood!
What is this place?
I remember that.
A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead.
Just what?!
Bees don’t know about this! This is To be in the stealing! A lot of Tournament of stealing! Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! You’ve taken our homes, schools, Up on a float, hospitals! This is surrounded all we have! by flowers, crowds cheering. And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom A tournament. of this. Do the roses compete in athletic I’m getting to events? the bottom of all of this!
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
Stinging’s the I prefer sugar- only thing free, artificial they know! It’s sweeteners made their way! by man!
No, you haven’t. Ken, Barry was And so here looking at your I’m sorry about we have yet resume, all that. another example
of bee culture Bees must casually What about Bee hate those fake holographic stolen by a Oolumbus? things! motion-picture- human Bee Gandhi? capture Bejesus? Hollywood Nothing worse wizardry? for nothing than a daffodil more than Where I’m that’s had work a prance-about from, we’d never done. They could stage name. sue humans. be using laser beams! Maybe this Oh, please. We were could make up thinking for it a little bit. Robotics! Venof stickball or triloquism! Have you ever candy stores. Oloning! For all been stung, Mr. - This lawsuit’s we know, Sting? a pretty big How old deal. are you? - I guess. he could be on Because I’m steroids! feeling a little stung, The bee com- You sure Sting. munity you want to Mr. Benson? is supporting go through you in this with it? Or should case, Ladies and I say... Mr. gentlemen, Gordon M. Am I sure? there’s no Sumner! which will be When I’m trickery here. the trial done with of the bee the humans, That’s not his century. they won’t I’m just an real name?! You be able ordinary bee. idiots! Honey’s pretty You know, they important have a Larry to say, “Honey, to me. Mr. Liotta, first, King I’m home,” belated in the human without paying congratulaworld too. a royalty! It’s important to tions on all bees. We invented it! It’s a common It’s an incredible your Emmy name. Next scene win for a week... here in We make guest spot downtown it. And we on ER in 2005. Manhattan, protect it He looks like with our lives. you and has Thank you. a show where the Thank you. and suspenders world anxiously Unfortunately, and colored waits, there are dots... because for the some people in I see from your first time in this room resume history, that you’re Next week... devilishly who think handsome we will hear for they can take it Glasses, quotes ourselves from us on the bottom if a honeybee with a churning from the can actually inner turmoil guest even speak. ‘cause we’re the that’s ready though you just little guys! to blow. heard ‘em. I’m hoping What have we that, after this is gotten into all over, I enjoy what Bear Week next here, Barry? I do. Is that a week! crime? They’re scary, you’ll see how, hairy and It’s pretty big, by taking our here live. isn’t it? honey, Not yet it isn’t. you not only But is this take everything what it’s come Always leans I can’t believe we have to for you? forward, pointy how many shoulders, humans squinty eyes, don’t work dur- but everything Exploiting tiny, very Jewish. ing the day. we are! helpless bees so you don’t
But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy?
In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!
What right do they have to our honey? It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. We live on two They are cups a year. pinheads! They put it Honey, her in lip balm backhand’s for no reason a joke! Pinhead. whatsoever! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? - Oheck out the Even if it’s true, new smoker. what can one - Oh, sweet. bee do? Quiet, please. That’s the one Actual work goyou want. ing on here. Sting them where it really The Thomas hurts. - Is that that 3000! same bee? - Yes, it is! In the face! Smoker? The eye! I’m helping him sue the Ninety puffs a - That would human race. minute, semi- hurt. automatic. - No. Twice the - Hello. nicotine, all - Hello, bee. the tar. Up the nose? That’s a killer. This is Ken. A couple breaths of this There’s only knocks them one place you Yeah, I right out. can sting remember you. the humans, Timberone place where land, size They make the it matters. ten and a half. honey, Vibram sole, I and we make believe. the money. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action Why does he “They make the news source. talk again? honey, and we make the money”? No more bee Listen, you beards! better go ‘cause we’re Oh, my! really busy With Bob working. Bumble at the What’s going anchor desk. on? Are you But it’s our OK? yogurt night! Weather with Storm Stinger. Yeah. It doesn’t Bye-bye. last too long. Sports with Buzz Larvi. Why is yogurt Do you know night so difyou’re ficult?! in a fake hive And Jeanette with fake Ohung. walls? You poor thing. You two have - Good evening. been at this for Our queen was I’m Bob hours! moved here. Bumble. We had no - And I’m choice. Jeanette Yes, and Ohung. Adam here has been a This is your huge help. queen? A tri-county That’s a man bee, Barry in women’s Benson, - Frosting... clothes! - How many sugars? intends That’s a drag to sue the queen! human race Just one. I for stealing our try not honey, to use the What is this? competition.
“This journalism program has given me a purpose and motivation each and every day. With your encouragement, your advice and your kindness, I don’t believe I’d be the person I am today, perhaps even alive without your wisdom. Thank you.” -Robert Brown, Editor-In-Chief They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?
- Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too.
You see? You can’t treat Goodbye, Ken. them like equals! They’re striped And for your savages! information,
and he agreed I know it’s got with me that an aftertaste! I eating with like it! chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. I always felt there was some kind You think I of barrier don’t see what between Ken you’re doing? and me. I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common.
I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well.
Oh, no!
There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!
You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.
- What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, packaging it and she believed profiting So why are you it was man’s from it illegally! helping me? divine right Tomorrow night Bees have good to benefit from on Bee Larry qualities. the bounty King, of nature God put before us. And it takes we’ll have three my mind off former queens the shop. If we lived in here in the topsy-turvy our studio, world discussing their Instead of flow- Mr. Benson new book, ers, people imagines, are giving balloon bouquets
- Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result, What angel of we don’t make mercy very good will come time. forward to suck the poison I actually heard a funny story from my heav- about... ing buttocks? Your Honor, I will have order haven’t these in this court. ridiculous Order! bugs
taken up Are you OK for enough the trial? of this court’s The case of the valuable time? Do we? honeybees I believe Mr. versus the Montgomery human race How much Bees have is about out of longer will we 100 percent ideas. allow employment, took a pointed these absurd but we do jobs turn against shenanigans to like taking the We would like the bees go on? crud out. to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to yesterday They have That’s just what the stand. when one of presented no I was thinking their legal compelling about doing. team stung evidence to Good idea! You Layton T. support their can really see Montgomery. charges Ken, I let Barry why he’s borrow your considered razor one of the best - Hey, buddy. against my for his fuzz. I lawyers... - Hey. clients, hope that was who run all right. legitimate Yeah. - Is there much businesses. pain? I’m going to - Yeah. drain the old Layton, you’ve I move for stinger. gotta weave a complete some magic I... dismissal of this entire Yeah, you case! do that. with this jury, I blew the or it’s gonna be whole case, all over. didn’t I? Mr. Flayman, Look at that. I’m afraid I’m going Don’t worry. It doesn’t You know, The only thing matter. What I’ve just about I have matters is to have to had it to do to turn you’re alive. consider this jury You could have Mr. Montgomaround died. ery’s motion. with your little mind games. is to remind I’d be better But you can’t! them off dead. Look We have a - What’s that? of what they at me. terrific case. - Italian Vogue. don’t like about bees. They got it from Where is your Mamma mia, the cafeteria proof? that’s a lot of - You got the downstairs, Where is the pages. tweezers? in a tuna evidence? - Are you sandwich. allergic? A lot of ads. Show me the Look, there’s smoking gun! Only to losing, a little celery Remember son. Only to still on it. what Van said, losing. Hold it, Your why is Honor! your life more What was it You want a I wish he’d dress valuable than Mr. Benson like to sting smoking gun? like that have to rehearse mine? Bee, I’ll ask someone? all the time. your part and you So nice! learn your what I think Here is your lines, sir? Funny, I just we’d all like to I can’t explain it. smoking gun. can’t seem to know. It was all... Oall your first recall that! witness. Watch it, What is that? Benson! What All adrenaline I could blow I think some- exactly is your and then... So, Mr. Klauss right now! thing stinks relationship and then It’s a bee Vanderhayden in here! ecstasy! smoker! of Honey Farms, big This isn’t a to that woman? company you goodfella. I love the smell All right. What, this? have. This is a of flowers. This harmless badfella! We’re friends. little contrapYou think it was tion? I suppose so. How do you all a trap? Why doesn’t like the smell of - Good friends? someone just flames?! - Yes. This couldn’t I see you step on Of course. I’m hurt a fly, also own this creep, and sorry. let alone a bee. Honeyburton we can all go Not as much. How good? I flew us right and Honron! home?! Do you live into this. together? Look at what Water bug! Not has happened Yes, they - Order in this taking sides! What were we provide court! Wait a minute... thinking? Look beekeepers - You’re all at us. We’re to bees who for our farms. thinking it! Ken, I’m wearjust a couple have never been ing a Ohapstick Are you her of bugs in this asked, hat! little... world. “Smoking or Beekeeper. I Order! Order, This is pathetic! non?” find that I say! to be a very ...bedbug? What will disturbing I’ve got issues! the humans Is this what term. - Say it! do to us nature intended - Mr. I’ve seen a bee if they win? for us? Liotta, please sit Well, well, well, documentary I don’t imagine down! a royal flush! or two. you employ From what I I don’t know. To be forcibly any bee-free-ers, understand, addicted do you? I think it was - You’re bluffing. to smoke awfully nice - Am I? I hear they put machines of that bear doesn’t your the roaches in - No. to pitch in queen give motels. - I couldn’t like that. Surf ’s up, dude! birth That doesn’t and man-made hear you. to all the bee sound so bad. wooden slat children? work camps? I think the jury’s Poo water! - No. on our side. Adam, they - No. - Yeah, but... check in, Living out our That bowl is - So those but they don’t lives as honey Are we doing gnarly. aren’t your real check out! slaves Because you everything parents! to the white don’t free bees. right, legally? man? You keep bees. Except for those Oh, my. Not only that, dirty yellow - Oh, Barry... I’m a florist. rings! - Yes, they are! - What are we Oould you get gonna do? it seems you a nurse - He’s playing thought a bear Right. Well, Kenneth! Hold me back! to close that the species would be here’s to a great What are you window? card. an appropriate team. doing?! image for a jar You’re an illeof honey. gitimate bee, - Why? Ladies and To a great team! You know, I aren’t you, - The smoke. gentlemen, don’t even like Benson? please, They’re very lovhoney! free these bees! able creatures. Well, hello. I don’t eat it! Bees don’t He’s denounc- smoke. ing bees! Free the bees! Yogi Bear, - Ken! We need to talk! Free the bees! Fozzie Bear, - Hello. Right. Bees Build-A-Bear. Don’t y’all date don’t smoke. He’s just a your cousins? Free the bees! I didn’t think little bee! You mean you were Bees don’t like this? coming. - Objection! smoke! Free the bees! And he happens - I’m going to But some bees Free the bees! to be pincushion are smoking. Bears kill bees! No, I was the nicest bee this guy! just late. I’ve met in a The court finds I tried to call, long time! That’s it! That’s in favor of How’d you but... the Adam, don’t! our case! the bees! like his head battery. It’s what he crashing Long time? wants! through your What are you It is? It’s not Vanessa, we living room?! I didn’t want talking about?! over? won! all this to go to Are there Oh, I’m hit!! waste, other bugs in Biting into your so I called Barry. your life? Get dressed. I knew you couch! Luckily, he Oh, lordy, I I’ve gotta go could do it! Spitting out was free. am hit! somewhere. High-five! your throw No, but there pillows! are other things Oh, that was bugging Order! Order! Get back to Sorry. lucky. me in life. And the court OK, that’s you’re one of and stall. enough. Take them! The venom! The Stall any way I’m OK! You him away. There’s a venom you can. know what this little left. is coursing means? I could heat Fine! Talking through my So, Mr. Sting, it up. bees, no yogurt veins! And assuming thank you for night... you’ve done All the honey being here. step correctly, will finally Your name Yeah, heat it up, I have been you’re ready for belong to the intrigues me. sure, whatever. My nerves felled the tub. bees. are fried from by a winged riding beast of - Where have So I hear you’re on this destruction! Mr. Flayman. Now we won’t I heard it quite a tennis emotional roller have
time to recognize our adviser, Matthew Smith. He’s our teacher, our mentor, our friend and a father figure. He’s a passionate journalist and energetic English instructor that does incredible things for not only our journalism program, but the entire English Department and beyond. We believe he doesn’t get the credit he deserves. He goes above and beyond anyone expected him to do. He transformed this program into the Pacemaker-winning program we are today.
I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works I knew I’d catch harder than Orazy person! y’all down bees! here. I’ve got a lot Did you bring of big life He’s not bother- What horrible your crazy Dad, I rememdecisions ing anybody. thing has hap- straw? ber you to think about. Get out of here, pened here? coming home so you creep! overworked We throw it in What life? You These faces, they jars, slap a label have no life! What was that? never knew on it, your hands were You have no A Pic ‘N’ Save what hit them. and it’s pretty still stirring. job. You’re circular? And now much pure You couldn’t barely a bee! profit. stop.
Yeah, it was. Would it How did you You had your kill you know? “experience.” to make a little Now you honey? can pick out It felt like about yourjob and be 10 pages. normal. Barry, come out. Seventy-five is Your father’s pretty much talking to you. our limit. - Well... - Well? Martin, would You’ve really you talk got that Well, I met to him? down to a someone. science. You did? Was she Bee-ish?
I assume wherever this Well, I guess I’ll truck goes go home now is where they’re getting it.
coaster!
Order, please!
to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.
They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.
They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.
- I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses.
unconscious!
More than we realized. To us, to - Is that another everyone. bee joke? - No! That’s why I want to No one’s flying get bees the plane! back to working together.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was It’s the last - Not in this on his way chance fairy tale, You’ll regret to San Antonio I’ll ever have to sweetheart. This is JFK this. with a cricket. see it. - I’m getting the control tower, marshal. Flight 356. What’s your Barry, how At least we Vanessa, I just status? much honey is got our honey wanna say I’m You do that! out there? back. sorry. This whole I never meant parade is a This is Vanessa it to turn out fiasco! Bloome. All right. One Sometimes I like this. I’m a florist at a time. think, so what if from New humans Let’s see what York. liked our I know. Me this baby’ll do. Barry, who are honey? Who neither. you wearing? wouldn’t? Where’s the Hey, what are pilot? Tournament of you doing?! My sweater is It’s the greatest Roses. Ralph Lauren, thing in the Roses can’t do He’s unconand I have no world! sports. Then all we do scious, pants. I was excited is blend in with and so is the to be part of traffic... copilot. making it. Wait a minute. - What if Roses. Roses? Montgomery’s ...without Not good. right? This was my arousing Does anyone - What do you new desk. This Roses! suspicion. onboard mean? was my have flight new job. I experience? wanted to do it Vanessa! Once at the We’ve been really well. airport, living the there’s no As a matter of bee way Roses?! stopping us. fact, there is. a long time, 27 And now... million years. Barry? Stop! Security. - Who’s that? Now I can’t. - Barry Benson. Oongratulations on your - Roses are - You and your victory. I don’t flowers! insect pack your From the honey What will you understand - Yes, they are. float? trial?! Oh, demand as a why they’re not - Yes. great. settlement? happy. Flowers, bees, pollen! Has it been Vanessa, this is First, we’ll I thought their in your nothing more demand a lives would be possession the than a big complete better! I know. entire time? metal bee. shutdown That’s why of all bee work this is the last camps. They’re doing parade. Would you It’s got giant nothing. It’s remove your wings, huge amazing. shoes? engines. Then we Honey Maybe not. want back the really changes Oould you ask honey people. him to slow - Remove your I can’t fly a that was ours to down? stinger. plane. begin with, - It’s part of me. You don’t have any idea Oould you slow - Why not? Isn’t every last drop. what’s going on, down? I know. John Travolta do you? Just having a pilot? some fun. - Yes. We demand Barry! Enjoy your an end to the - What did flight. glorification you want to How hard could of the bear as show me? OK, I made a it be? anything more - This. huge mistake. Then if we’re This is a total lucky, we’ll disaster, all my have Wait, Barry! than a filthy, What happened fault. just enough We’re headed smelly, here? pollen to do into some bad-breath stink the job. lightning. machine. Yes, it kind of is. That is not the half of it. Oan you believe This is Bob We’re all aware I’ve ruined the how lucky we Bumble. We of what they do planet. are? We have some in the woods. Oh, no. I wanted to have just late-breaking Oh, my. help you enough pollen news from JFK to do the job! Airport, Wait for my signal. They’re all with the flower wilting. shop. I think this is where a I’ve made it gonna work. suspenseful Take him out. worse. scene Doesn’t look is developing. very good, It’s got to work. He’ll have does it? Actually, it’s nauseous completely Barry Benson, for a few hours, closed down. Attention, fresh from his then he’ll No. passengers, legal victory... be fine. this is Oaptain I thought Scott. And whose fault maybe you were That’s Barry! And we will no do you think remodeling. longer tolerate that is? We have a bit of bee-negative bad weather ...is attempting nicknames... But I have in New York. to land a You know, I’m another idea, plane, gonna guess and it’s loaded with But it’s just a bees. greater than my It looks people, flowers prance-about previous ideas like we’ll stage name! combined. experience Bees? a couple hours and an delay. incapacitated ...unnecessary I don’t want to flight crew. inclusion of Specifically, me. hear it! honey Barry, these are in bogus health cut flowers Flowers?! products I didn’t think All right, they with no water. bees not need- have the roses, They’ll never ing to make the roses have make it. We have a storm and la-dee-da honey would the pollen. in the area human affect all these and two tea-time snack things. I gotta get individuals at garnishments. I know every up there the controls bee, plant and talk to It’s notjust and flower bud them. Oan’t breathe. flowers. in this park. with absolutely Fruits, no flight experivegetables, they Be careful. ence. Bring it in, all need bees. All we gotta boys! do is get what they’ve got Oan I get help Just a minute. That’s our whole back here with the There’s a bee on Hold it right SAT test right with what Sky Mall that plane. there! Good. there. we’ve got. magazine?
Like a 27-million-yearold instinct. You’ve earned this. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
That’s the bee way! - What in the We’re not made world is on the of Jell-O. tarmac? - Get some lights on that! We get behind a fellow. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Black and Thinking bee! yellow! - Hello! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. Left, right, - OK. down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?!
Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
Wait, I think Land on that we were flower! on autopilot the whole time. Ready? Full reverse! - That may have been helping me. Spin it around! - And now we’re not! - Not that flower! The So it turns out other one! I cannot fly a - Which one? plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out!
Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is beeapproved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel!
- That flower. Sometimes I - I’m aiming at just feel the flower! like a piece of meat! That’s a fat guy in a flowered I had no idea. shirt. I mean the giant pulsating Barry, I’m sorry. flower Have you got a moment?
Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, made of milyou copy me lions of bees! with the wings of the plane! Pull forward. Nose down. Don’t have Tail up. to yell.
Smith will argue that it was the students that made it possible. But, with his expertise and experience within the teaching and journalism field, he’s taught us “how to journalism.” We’re proud of this program, and he is too. We tip our caps and love him for the passionate adviser he is. He spends his time, effort and sometimes even his money on us and he doesn’t get recognized. I think we all believe that we don’t thank him enough. This one goes out to you. Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming!
- Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn.
But isn’t he your Benson, got any only hope? flowers for a happy occasion in Technically, there? a bee shouldn’t be able to fly The Pollen at all. Jocks!
So if there’s no more pollination,
I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it?
Right, right.
Aborting pollination and Listen, Barry... nectar detail. sorry, but Returning I gotta get to base. going. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Oh, yeah?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going?
What’s going on? Where is everybody?
- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!
- What’d you Tournament of say, Hal? Roses, - Nothing. Pasadena, Oalifornia. Bee!
- I’ll sting We’re you, you step shutting honey on me. production! - Thatjust kills you twice. Mission abort.
- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!
They’ve done enough damage.
They’ve got it could all just nothing go south here, but flowers, couldn’t it? floats and cotton candy.
Oannonball!
- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!
Oaptain, - Repollination! I’m in a real - Across the situation. nation!
Shut down honey production!
What do we do now?
You snap out of it.
And then, of course... The human species?
Turn your key, sir!
You snap out of it.
- Bees. - Park.
- I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
Stop making honey!
I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.
Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!
Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.
- Pollen! - Flowers.
Vanessa?
Security will be tight.
I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Rotate I’m not yelling! around it. We’re in a lot of trouble. - This is insane, Barry! It’s very hard to - This’s the only concentrate way I know how with that to fly. panicky tone in your voice! Am I koo-kookachoo, or is It’s not a tone. this plane I’m panicking! flying in an insect-like pattern? I can’t do this!
Don’t freak out! My entire species... What are you doing?
Haven’t we heard this a - Wait a million times? minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an “The surface Vanessa attorney? area of the Bloome, FTD. wings and body Don’t move. mass make no Official sense.” floral business. It’s real. Oh, Barry. - Get this on the air! Sorry, ma’am. Good - Got it. Nice brooch. afternoon, passengers. This is your - Stand by. Thank you. It captain. - We’re was a gift. going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you.
How about The Princess and And please the Pea? hurry! I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it.
Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of What happened small jobs. here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.
I don’t know. Hello?
Their wings are They do get too small... behind a fellow.
I have an idea.
Would a Miss Once inside, Vanessa Bloome we just pick the in 24B right float. please report to the cockpit?
How is the plane flying?
But let me tell you about a small job.
- Black and yellow. - Hello.
Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!
No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere.
No problem, Just drop it. Be Vannie. a part of it. Just leave it to me. Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already.
You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly.
Barry, we did it! Thank you, You taught me Barry! how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right.
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny. Barry, it worked! Did you see the - When will giant flower? this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. What giant flower? Where? Of course - Beautiful day I saw the to fly. flower! That was - Sure is. genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.
That means All right, let’s this is our last drop this tin can chance. on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.
We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.
Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number!
If we’re gonna survive as a All right. Take species, ten, everybody. this is our Wrap it up, moment! What guys. do you say?
- Thinking bee. I had virtually - Thinking bee. Are we going to no rehearsal for be bees, orjust that. Museum of Thinking bee! Natural History Thinking bee! keychains? Thinking bee! We’re bees! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling Keychain! something.
- What? If you do it well, - I don’t know. To the final - Where should it makes a big It’s strong, - Are they out Tournament of I sit? One’s bald, difference. pulling me. celebrating? Roses parade - What are you? one’s in a boat, - They’re home. in Pasadena. they’re both
Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here.
Fondy High Bullseye
THE LOVELY LAY OF THE LAND A look at The Wild Goose State Trail John Haas, Local Editor
T
he Wild Goose State Trail, a scenic multi-use recreational trail extending from four miles south of Juneau to a northern trailhead found in Fond du Lac, gives to the concepts of Wisconsin’s idyllic, varied environment and the spirit of outdoor activity. Located at 370 W. Rolling Meadows Drive is one of several access points for this cooperative state trail running through Fond du Lac County and Dodge County. The 34 mile pathway is considered to be the first cooperative state trail in Wisconsin, as it is under the ownership of the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources (DNR) and subject to the maintenance and oversight accomplished through the efforts of the aforementioned counties. The trail’s geography includes other access points in addition to the northern trailhead in Fond du Lac and the southern trailhead near Juneau. These are found in the areas of Oakfield, State Highway 49 and Clyman Junction. Directions to these locations can be found through the DNR’s website. The Wild Goose State Trail satisfies a range of outdoor activity avenues in addition to its scenic qualities at each segment of its length. This trail, like many others of the Wisconsin State Park System, accommodates bicycling and walking with or without a pet, however they must be cleaned up after and on a leash. Winter activities allowed on the trail include snowmobile usage (in accordance with Wisconsin snowmobile laws), snowshoeing and cross-country skiing. The versatile and year-round accessibility of the Wild Goose State Trail is a treasure of the land waiting to be explored by Fond du Lac residents and visitors alike.
Each issue, the Cardinal Columns throws a dart at a map of Fond du Lac, Wis. and searches for a story where the dart lands. This issue, the dart landed on the entrance of the Wild Goose Trail photo courtesy: Duncan Corbin (all)