COPINGWITH UNEMPLOYMENT How has losing your job affected you, your family and your lifestyle? Our job is integral to how we survive and provide for our families. Our ability to obtain/maintain employment, and the income it provides, anchors our security and that of our families. In 1967 psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, conducted research to determine which life events had the greatest stressful impact of people’s lives. Their findings resulted in the Life StressInventory. Dismissal from a job ranked 8th only proceeded by events such as death of family members, marital issues and incarceration. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale How has losing your job affected how you feel about who you are? How we identify ourselves, relate with others and engagein society is strongly linked to our occupation. So much so that many family names were derived from occupational titles, during the advent of surnames in the 11th century. The loss of a job is a major disruption, creating great stress in our lives, affecting not only our financial security but also how we perceive ourselves. With a life event the has such a impact on our security and identity it should be no surprised that we would experience a wide variety emotions, much like those that are experienced during other major life events as death, divorce or major health problem. In 1969, Elizabeth Kubler-Rossdeveloped a stage approach to the grief processand how humans cope with major lossesin life. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Stages_of_Grief Professionals in Transition (PIT) Support Group, Inc. adapted Kubler-Ross’sresearch and applied it to the effects of job loss. In their application they added 6th stage in the process. http://uhr.rutgers.edu/documents/CopingwithJobLoss.pdf Shock & Denial (How could this have happened to me?) Fear and Panic (Will I lose everything I own?) Anger (How can they do it to me?) Bargaining (I'll get another job right away.) Depression (I don't care anymore.) Acceptance (My job search is my responsibility, and I can make it happen.) Along with emotional effects of the job-loss trauma PIT highlights some of the physical and behavioral effects that are often experienced: Lossof appetite Dizziness Forgetfulness Heart Palpitations Problems falling asleep Aching Limbs Lack of concentration Repetitive Dreams Anxiety Attacks Irritability Migraine headaches Hyperactivity
So how do we regain control while we are going through the process? Let’s look at the stages 1. Shock & Denial Although you may feel like you've been "punched in the stomach," and it may be days or weeks before the full impact of the loss sinks in. Driven by the desperation to regain control you may scramble to find another job right away. This method often heightens levels of stress, drains our energy and affects our ability to make good decision. Although getting another job is a priority, now is the time to “catch your breath”, rely on emotional support of family and friends and recuperate.
COPINGWITH UNEMPLOYMENT 2. Fear and Panic Once the numbing effects of job loss wear off a generalized senseof dread may consume you and even smallest worries become magnified. All your time and energy can easily be consumed by real concerns and the “What If’s?”, resulting in indecision or worse, immobility. This is the time to assessand take control of the stress. Get all your worries out of you and onto a sheet of paper. Decide which ones are real issuesand which ones are the “What if’s”. Now you can remove “What if’s” from the list. Don’t spend your time and energy on something that hasn’t happened. Prioritize the real concerns and designate certain times to focus on them individually. Don’t let them “gang-up” on you at once. Most importantly make “worry-free” time in the day. A time when you intentionally focus on family, hobbies and things that you enjoy.
3. Anger This emotion is highly charged and full of energy. If we allow anger to build without an appropriate releaseit will be become unhealthy to ourselves and others, but used wisely you can accomplish a lot. The secret to coping effectively is to channel your anger so that you can benefit. Find a way that’s healthy. Go to the gym, or talk a walk, go to the batting cagesor get out in the woods and scream. Don’t allow your anger to control you by taking out on family members, talking negatively about former employer/co-worker while at an interview or in networking situations.
4. Bargaining During this stage, we start feeling the tiring effect of the emotional roller coaster and you may run out of ideas. You may start dialoguing with yourself that things aren’t that bad and you’ll easily get another job becausesomething or someone will come along a save you a long as you prove yourself as worthy. This mindset breed’s complacency will cause you to expend your hopes waiting for that thing or person to make it all better. You have to remind yourself that the next job your get will be becauseof YOUReffort and talents, not that of the “job-fairy”.
5. Depression After that “hot job lead” falls through or you find out that your neighbor’s brother doesn’t actually have the ability to hire anyone at the plant, any un-managed anger may turn inward in the form of depression and your senseof self worth declines. You may start avoiding friends, family and anything that you used to enjoy. You may also start blaming yourself for everything that has happened, but now is not the time to give in and disengage. Get out, get involved and do some of those things that you didn’t have time for while you were working. Go for a hike, clean out the garage, go see a movie, get some exercise, do things with family that, becauseof work, you weren’t able to do and just re-charge your self-worth.
6. Temporary Acceptance
COPINGWITH UNEMPLOYMENT This is the morning when you wake up and the weight of the situation isn’t as heavy. You breathe a little better and your thoughts have more clarity. You feel more encouraged, confident and you are ready to start making changes. This level of acceptance is often temporary and with every employer letter that tells you they have selected another candidate, your optimism becomesdiminished. You may at times cycle through some or all of these stagesseveral times and that’s ok. The key is effectively coping with them when they arise. It’s important that we begin come to terms with the loss by accepting the change and it’s repercussions, assessing ourselves and life since the change, planning & preparing on how to move forward and begin to effectively re-engagein our lives. Is there any way to get through the process faster? Stay “employed” – Your new job is Marketing and your client is YOU.
Prepare (M. Chemsak’s outline from 1/18/11) This is the time to assessyourself, determine your career goals and all resourcesto help you attain your goals.
Plan Schedule your “work week” with Job Prep & Search activities. Budget your time and activities to use your have time effectively.
Strategize Research potential employers and tailor your resume(s) specifically toward job opportunities you want to pursue.
Networking Stay engaged with professional groups and committees that you are a member of and network. Also, make use of social networks such as Job Club or Linked-In. Consider the concept of the “6 Degreesof Separation”. 6x6=36 36x6=216
216x6=1296
1296x6=7778 .
Marketing Let everyone know that you are a “Free-Agent” and looking for openings. Develop an “elevator speech” and be prepared to “sell yourself” in any situation.
Remember………. Stay connected Stay involved You are not alone