Three ways to stop playing the ‘what-if’ game

Some days it feels like the spark has gone out of your work even though you’re still producing the results. And you’re tired, the lack of sleep is starting to catch up. And you notice you’re not quite present with your family either… it seems like you’re there in body but your mind is elsewhere, you can’t really be bothered.

And you’ve started playing the ‘what-if’ game! Your mind is full of horrific thoughts rapidly gathering speed. You find yourself negatively building up things in your mind, adding thought after thought, and your worry is manifesting as you’re thinking about every possible future scenario and then planning for every one of them.

The ‘what-if’ game is wearying and can be quite alarming.

Here’s an example: Last month, Jeff’s effort for new clients wasn’t so successful, so income is down a little for the month even though last month was way ahead of schedule. And he finds he’s listening to a lot of negative talk out there – online, television... it all seems bad. So even the faintest possibility of losing a long-term client of his sets up a train of thought which gathers steam… “What if the client doesn’t re-sign the contract? What if I don’t have enough to pay the bills next month? What if I have to let go one of my staff? What if the economy tanks? What if the bank won’t increase my overdraft? Or what if another big client pulls the pin? My life is ruined! I’m a total loser!” Within seconds, Jeff’s initial thinking about one client leads to a chain of other worries and what-ifs in the blink of an eye and these thoughts threaten to derail him. How do you stop these ‘what-ifs’ in their tracks?

It all starts with your thinking Knowing we can never be 100 percent certain about life allows us to take steps toward increasing our ability to handle those moments when we’re not too sure about what will take place.

We know that by modifying our thoughts, we can feel happier and less stressed. We need to become ultra-aware of actually observing what is causing our stress, negative thinking, and bad moods. Only then can we actively challenge these bad feelings, negative thoughts, overwhelm and stress.

Is it possible to get rid of these ‘what-ifs’ – a debilitating mind process also known as ‘scenario building’ or ‘catastrophising’? Yes, and here’s how.

Three ways to stop playing the ‘what-if’ game: 1. Deal only with the facts. Most anxiety is centred around imaginary, not real, things. 2. Write your thoughts down to help you focus on the ‘real’ issues at hand. 3. Ask yourself, and answer, these two questions:

What’s the worst that can happen?

How would I cope if the worst did happen?

Over time, you can learn how to control your anxious thoughts by using this technique. You see, there’s no easy ‘fix’, there’s no magic pill, yet the moment you start attending to your anxiety, it’s amazing how quickly you start to feel more relaxed and life

seems a whole lot lighter and freer, with more joy. Controlling stress needs to be the number one focus for the majority of adults operating in the modern world. If you are unable to control your anxious thoughts, you will be unable to relax or have control over your life.

For helpful, practical strategies, communication tools and techniques Linda has written the Award Winning book ‘Transforming Your Stress Into Business Success’. This is available at: www.transformingyourstressintobusinesssuccess.com

Linda Wells – The Business Stress Specialist. Linda is a speaker, trainer and consultant. Over the past 14 years, she has inspired and educated men and women to lead, communicate and respond more effectively to avoid overwhelm, reduce stress and increase productivity, success and enjoyment.

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