NZCB InHouse magazine August/September 2020

Page 40

HEALTH AND WELLBEING —

Three ways to stop playing the ‘what-if’ game Some days it feels like the spark has gone out of your work even though you’re still producing the results. And you’re tired, the lack of sleep is starting to catch up. And you notice you’re not quite present with your family either… it seems like you’re there in body but your mind is elsewhere, you can’t really be bothered. And you’ve started playing the ‘what-if’ game! Your mind is full of horrific thoughts rapidly gathering speed. You find yourself negatively building up things in your mind, adding thought after thought, and your worry is manifesting as you’re thinking about every possible future scenario and then planning for every one of them.

How do you stop these ‘what-ifs’ in their tracks?

The ‘what-if’ game is wearying and can be quite alarming.

We know that by modifying our thoughts, we can feel happier and less stressed. We need to become ultra-aware of actually observing what is causing our stress, negative thinking, and bad moods. Only then can we actively challenge these bad feelings, negative thoughts, overwhelm and stress.

Here’s an example: Last month, Jeff’s effort for new clients wasn’t so successful, so income is down a little for the month even though last month was way ahead of schedule. And he finds he’s listening to a lot of negative talk out there – online, television... it all seems bad.

It all starts with your thinking Knowing we can never be 100 percent certain about life allows us to take steps toward increasing our ability to handle those moments when we’re not too sure about what will take place.

Is it possible to get rid of these ‘what-ifs’ – a debilitating mind process also known as ‘scenario building’ or ‘catastrophising’? Yes, and here’s how. Three ways to stop playing the ‘what-if’ game: 1. Deal only with the facts. Most anxiety is centred around imaginary, not real, things. 2. Write your thoughts down to help you focus on the ‘real’ issues at hand. 3. Ask yourself, and answer, these two questions: What’s the worst that can happen? How would I cope if the worst did happen? Over time, you can learn how to control your anxious thoughts by using this technique. You see, there’s no easy ‘fix’, there’s no magic pill, yet the moment you start attending to your anxiety, it’s amazing how quickly you start to feel more relaxed and life seems a whole lot lighter and freer, with more joy.

So even the faintest possibility of losing a long-term client of his sets up a train of thought which gathers steam… “What if the client doesn’t re-sign the contract? What if I don’t have enough to pay the bills next month? What if I have to let go one of my staff? What if the economy tanks? What if the bank won’t increase my overdraft? Or what if another big client pulls the pin? My life is ruined! I’m a total loser!” Within seconds, Jeff’s initial thinking about one client leads to a chain of other worries and what-ifs in the blink of an eye and these thoughts threaten to derail him.

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Controlling stress needs to be the number one focus for the majority of adults operating in the modern world. If you are unable to control your anxious thoughts, you will be unable to relax or have control over your life. For helpful, practical strategies, communication tools and techniques Linda has written the Award Winning book ‘Transforming Your Stress Into Business Success’. This is available at: www.transformingyourstressintobusinesssuccess.com

Linda Wells – The Business Stress Specialist. Linda is a speaker, trainer and consultant. Over the past 14 years, she has inspired and educated men and women to lead, communicate and respond more effectively to avoid overwhelm, reduce stress and increase productivity, success and enjoyment.


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Articles inside

NEWS BITES

7min
pages 50-53

Easy protection of cut timber ends, with Abodo’s new Protector End Seal

1min
page 49

MiTek screw innovation

2min
page 48

Membrane refurbishment work – what’s consentable?

1min
page 47

Message from our Auckland BDM

2min
page 42

AST Trust update

1min
page 46

ITAB welcomes WITT partnership

1min
page 44

Stay safe, speak up

4min
pages 34-35

Three ways to stop playing the ‘what-if’ game

4min
pages 40-41

Why do I feel so angry?

3min
pages 38-39

Bad vibrations

2min
pages 36-37

To Corporatise, or not to Corporatise? That is the question

5min
pages 32-33

Jump in puddles

2min
page 27

Why you should be using Payment Claims

6min
pages 20-21

Updates from the Building Performance Team

4min
pages 22-23

Beyond green claims

4min
pages 24-25

OUR PEOPLE

2min
pages 28-29

Changes to tertiary education will impact the construction industry

4min
pages 30-31

Meeting your KiwiSaver obligations

2min
page 26

Halo Guarantee update

1min
page 10

Message from the Chief Executive

3min
pages 6-7

NZCB Board changes

3min
page 5

Four reasons why tech is vital post lockdown

2min
pages 18-19

Appliances at commercial prices

2min
pages 12-13

Message from the NZCB Board

2min
page 4

REVERE – submissions now open

4min
pages 16-17

Message from the Group Technical Manager

2min
pages 8-9
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