HEALTH AND WELLBEING —
668
By Craig Bulloch
As a society we must get rid of the whole “toughen up”, “she’ll be right” mentality because it is an archaic way of thinking and it helps nobody. We can all make a difference and the way to start is by looking out for those we have interactions with. If you notice something isn’t right with someone trust your instincts and have a conversation. A simple Are you OK? chat can save a life, I should know, it saved mine.
668 by itself that is an innocuous number, but when I tell you that is how many people took their own lives in the past year in New Zealand it has a lot more meaning. That is 668 people that thought that they couldn’t carry on. That is 668 people that thought they couldn’t ask for help. This is also a number that has been increasing over the past four years and we are now at an all-time high of suicides within New Zealand. Pretty sobering isn’t it? I have been there. I know exactly what it is like to be on that precipice thinking that I couldn’t carry on and wanting to end the pain. Thankfully I didn’t. I‘m now here to share my story and have a goal to make conversations around mental health, especially for males, as easy as having a chat about the weather. Yes, it is a big goal and it will take time to break the stigma still attached to mental health in New Zealand, but something must be done. However, I am also a realist and know that not everyone will want to be helped. There are also those out there that want to be helped but don’t know where to turn and these are the people that we need to connect with.
I also know that we may shy away from having one of these conversations just in case the person says they aren’t ok. If someone does say that they aren’t ok the thing to remember is that we don’t need to be a councillor. We just need to listen to them and not jump to offer solutions. Don’t feel sorry for the person and most of all don’t tell them that they have no reason to feel the way they do. The best thing you can do is show some empathy and encourage action for their wellness. This could be as little as going for a walk with them. By doing these couple of things and by letting them know you will be there for them will go a long way to help them on their journey. You also may never know when the shoe may be on the other foot and you need them. We must also look inward and say that I am not ok when we aren’t. This for me is what we struggle with the most. We find it easy to fix other people but when it comes to ourselves we don’t want to be seen as being weak by asking for help. We need to normalise the fact that sometimes things will be tough, and we may be struggling. This is when we must be brave and ask for help. I put it to you this way. If you have a broken bone what do you do? You would go to the doctor. So why don’t we go to the doctors when we have a broken mind? It should be that simple. I will be having a Chew the Fat chat with Jason where I will talk about the journey I have been on and the different tools that I now utilise to keep well. And just remember #itaintweaktospeak!
34
