Vol 5 No 3
COMPLIMENTARY
CELEBRATING, MOTIVATING, AND EDUCATING WOMEN
Real
TM
KEEPING KO LT E N ’ S
Memory ALIVE
DR. MEGAN SEXTON 20/20 VISION
GOOSE CREEK | HANAHAN | MONCKS CORNER | MOUNT PLEASANT | NORTH CHARLESTON | WEST ASHLEY
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ng tions? an effective solution our life?
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ack
588 Old Mt. Holly Rd. • Goose Creek, SC 29445
make an appointment!!! 843.631.4098 CALL NOW TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT 843.475.7037
In This Issue
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10
www.charlestonwomanonline.com
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Lori Samples Duncan loriduncan86@gmail.com
MEDIA REPRESENTATIVE Cathy Williams cw@woman2womanonline.com
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Carol A. Ryall Lori Samples Duncan Ann Whitten, M.Ed. Beth McCrary Kay H. Barlow Kenneth E. Burger Lydia Ramsey
GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Lisa Ashworth woman2womanlisa@gmail.com
COVER PHOTO
Tammy Bevins Photography
PHOTOGRAPHY
Tammy Bevins Photography Clark Berry Photography
From the Editor 2
Great Weather, Great People
Events 3
What’s Happening?
Health & Wellness 4
Find Relief from Arthritis or Tendinitis
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Meet Dr. Megan Sexton
Let’s Talk 17 An Era of Meanness 18 SC Daycares and Your Rights as a Parent 21 The Etiquette of Sympathy 22 Play is How Children Learn
Recipes 9
Roasted Acorn Squash
10 Heart Failure Clinic Finds LongTerm Solutions
24 Naked Chicken Tenders
12 The Mystery of Dyslexia
Business & Web Directory
Celebrating the Survivor in You! 14 Keeping Kolten’s Memory Alive
27 Contact our Advertisers
Personal Note 38 Family, Community, and Baseball!
Find us on facebook!
Charleston Woman Magazine Woman 2 Woman Media (803) 785-4475 104 Pine Tree Drive Lexington, SC 29073
Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication. However, the publisher cannot assume responsibility for errors or omissions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission. © 2014
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From the Editor
ummer is coming to an end, but our supply of amazing people and stories from the community never does! This issue is great because it not only features some remarkable women, but some remarkable men and even children as well. Read the stories of great talent, great courage, and great places between the covers of this issue. Be inspired by Angela Stoneworth’s talent, cry with the parents of Kolten Johnson, who want to make a difference in the world, and feel the love that Ashby Jones has for her caring mother! Life is always changing, and even as I write this to you I am amazed at how fast the time has flown by this year. Half of 2015 is already over, and what a year it has been! As Summer is coming to a close, remember to make the best of it while it is here. Celebrate this hot but enjoyable season by spending some time outside with your family, go to another cookout, take your children to the water to cool off, and just enjoy some time with the people that you love while you have all these opportunities available! I always want to offer a reminder that the businesses within Midlands Woman Magazine have made a commitment to you, the reader, to always offer quality products and services to the people of this community. Please visit them online or in their store and let them know where you heard about them, because it is through their support that MWM is able to bring you the stories of real Midlands Women in every single issue. As always I hope you enjoy this issue. If you would like to send us a story or suggest someone you feel should be featured in Midlands Woman Magazine, please feel free to email me personally at loriduncan86@gmail.com. God Bless and See you soon! Your friend,
Lori Samples Duncan
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Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Real Women Women
Events
WHAT’S HAPPENING IN CHARLESTON? Folly Jazz Festival Gala
September 12, 2015 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Charleston Performing Arts Center The Folly Jazz Festival Gala will raise funds for the 2015 Folly Jazz Festival which will be held on November 7th and 8th of this year. Enjoy music from The Jazz on the Edge Allstars and other special guest artists, as well as get a sneak preview of Charleston Cabaret Theatre’s new hit show DUKE: King of Jazz. Tickets are $50 and there are only 70 seats available. Heavy hor d’oeuvres, cash bar and prize drawings will occur throughout the evening. Dress code: Black tie optional. Ladies, pull out your sequins!
Shrimp and Grits Festival
September 19, 2015 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Joe Riley Stadium This year’s Shrimp & Grits Chefs’ Competition will feature 20 top Chefs from Downtown Charleston and Mount Pleasant. Not only will you help these great Restaurants and Chefs raise money for the Charleston Animal Society you will get to savor 20 different, delicious versions of Shrimp & Grits.You decide the winner, while you enjoy live music, drinks and interesting vendors. www.shrimpandgritscharleston.com
Fall Festival
October 10, 2015 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. Freshfields Village, Kiawah Island This free, family-friendly event will feature a variety of activities for each generation. Enjoy live music as you browse a fall Farmer’s Market featuring seasonal goods and produce along with an art show featuring the Kiawah & Seabrook Artist Guilds. Kids will enjoy complimentary face painting, inflatable games, mechanical bull, and fall crafts. Food and beverages will be available for purchase from a variety of local vendors. Visit the Keys for Hope booth during the event to meet the group of local girls who have raised over $75,000 for Crisis Ministries in support of the new One-Eighty Place downtown. They will be selling keys and sharing their passion with everyone! www.freshfieldsvillage.com
SC State Fair
October 14 - 25, 2015 11:00 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. Fair Grounds, Columbia SC’s largest event, located in the capital city of Columbia, is one of the best values in family-oriented entertainment. Enjoy mouth-watering food, thrilling rides and exciting entertainment. A twelve-day annual event showcasing the mechanical and educational aspects of SC along with presenting a fun, wholesome and entertaining carnival atmosphere where families can come together for tremendous fun...come find your “happy” at the South Carolina State Fair! www.scstatefair.org
Harvest Festival & Block Party October 17, 2015 4:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. The Olde Village near Park Circle The Third annual Harvest Festival and Block Party will feature live musical performances, art and craft booths, costume contests and children’s activities. The festival features a Kid’s Zone with a student art exhibit, craft activities, carnival games, face painting and inflatables, a street market showcasing fine art and crafts by members of the North Charleston Artist Guild from, and live music. Many of the restaurants will offer additional programming and food and drink specials. Admission and parking are free. www.thedigitel.com/s/charleston/northcharleston-harvest-festival-block-partyset-150925-4380
Om Radio’s Halloween Fest October 31, 2015 12:30 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. Palmetto Brewery
Ohm Radio’s Halloween Fest is fun for all ages with Halloween costumes, music, and more! Fundraiser for WOHM, 96.3FM, Charleston’s commercial-free, non-profit community radio station Halloween costumes highly encouraged! $15 for adults; $5 for students, student tickets purchased at Palmetto Brewery (day of event) w/ valid student I.D.; Kids under 12 free www.palmettobrewery.com
Stories and Songs of Native Americans November 1, 2015 3:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m. The Charleston Museum Enjoy myth and music with storyteller Will Moreau Goins. Dr. Goins has dedicated his life to preserving, presenting and performing Native American music traditions and storytelling. He weaves the ancient past, mythology and the present with dramatic narratives and song. Will Goins is a descendant of the Eastern Band Cherokee Indians and Chief of the Cherokee Indian Tribe of South Carolina. He is a folklorist, cultural presenter, storyteller, chanter-singer, dancer, artist, educator, and arts administrator. He has Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Anthropology and a Ph.D. from Pennsylvania State University. www.charlestonmuseum.org
Lowcountry Trail Half Marathon and 5K
October 25, 2015 8:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. Mullet Hall Equestrian Center Take to the trails of Mullet Hall Equestrian Center on foot during the Lowcountry Trail Half Marathon and 5K. Breathtaking fall foliage, mossdraped oaks, and native wildlife provide a scenic backdrop reminiscent of days gone by. An award ceremony and a party with live music and beverages will be held after the races. https://ccprc.com/1712/Lowcountry-Trail-Half-Marathon-5K
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Health & Wellness
Find R E L I E F from Arthritis or Tendinitis An innovative treatment to help with joint pain
Back2Health Physical Medicine patients can now benefit from a treatment called platelet-rich plasma (PRP) injections. This non-surgical treatment can reduce pain, providing long-term relief from osteoar thritis and chronic tendinitis. PRP injections use your own body’s natural growth factors to promote healing and alleviate pain. What is osteoarthritis? In healthy joints, there is a naturally occurring process that continuously breaks down and repairs the car tilage. In osteoar thritis, there is an imbalance in this natural breakdown and repair process. As we age, the smooth surface of the car tilage begins to deteriorate and becomes worn out. Eventually, small pieces of car tilage break off, the synovium (joint lining) is damaged, the underlying bones thicken (forming bone spurs) and the joint becomes painful and stiff. 4
Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Real
What is chronic tendinitis? Tendinitis is inflammation, irritation and swelling of a tendon, which is the tissue that joins muscle to bone. Tendinitis is typically caused by joint overuse or not properly conditioning the joint prior to activity. Sometimes with overuse, these tendons will break or tear, and then scar tissue will form. Scar tissue is not as flexible as the tendons themselves, and with continued use, inflammation and pain will occur. As we age, our bodies do not repair these injured tendons as easily as when we were young. We produce fewer “repair” cells as we get older, so it takes longer to recover. Some people can develop chronic, or long-term, tendinitis as a result. Chronic tendinitis lacks any true inflammation in the tendon, and this is why cor ticosteroid injections do not work for this condition. The specific areas that are most often affected are the shoulders, ankles, elbows and feet.
Women
How can PRP injections help me? PRP injections harness the healing power of your own blood to reduce joint pain caused by inflammation. It may actually repair your damaged joint lining, as well as slowing down fur ther wear and tear of your car tilage. The PRP injection contains valuable proteins and growth factors that your body may use to begin repairing cells and tissue. How many injections will I receive? Each individual’s treatment plan will var y, but our typical patient requires one or two injections a minimum of four weeks apar t.
Conditions treated with PRP: Shoulder Rotator Cuff Tendinosis/Tears AC & Glenohumeral Joint Ar thritis Biceps Tendinosis Elbow Lateral/Medial Epicondylitis (Tennis/Golfers Elbow) Injuries to the Flexor, Extensor, and Bicipital Tendons Ulnar Collateral Ligament Injuries Elbow Ar thritis Hand & Wrist Tendonitis Muscle tears Ar thritis Knee Osteoar thritis Patellar Tendinosis (Jumper’s knee) Quadriceps tendinosis Collateral Ligament Tears ITB Friction Syndrome Quadriceps/Hamstring Strains
What are the risks? PRP injections use platelet-rich plasma to boost your body’s ability to heal. The plasma comes from your own blood, so there is no chance of your body rejecting it. At the injection site, there is a ver y small risk of infection and a chance that some bruising will occur. How should I prepare for a PRP injection? Seven days before your PRP injection, do not take any anti-inflammator y medicine. • Do not take medicines like Motrin, Advil, Aleve and Naprosyn. The day of your PRP injection, drink as much water as you can. • The more hydrated you are, the easier it will be to draw your blood.
What should I expect during a PRP injection? The PRP injection is actually a relatively simple process: Step 1: We take a small amount of healthy blood from your arm. Step 2:We separate the platelets and plasma from the rest of your blood using a special machine. Step 3: We inject the platelet-rich plasma into the injured area. This is usually done under ultrasound guidance. Remember, we only use your blood during a PRP injection. What should I do if I think I am a candidate for PRP?
Kneecap Pain (Patellofemoral Syndrome) Foot & Ankle Achilles Tendon Injuries Peroneal/Posterior Tibialis Tendon Injuries Plantar Fasciitis Foot and Ankle Ar thritis Chronic Ligament Injuries Osteoar thritis Hip/Pelvis Trochanteric Bursitis Hamstring Injuries Pubic Symphysis Pain Piriformis Syndrome Hip Ar thritis
Call us now to schedule an appointment for an exam and X-rays so that we can look at your radiology films (X-rays) and examine you to determine if you are a good candidate.
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Health & Wellness
MEET
DR. MEGAN SEXTON
D
r. Megan Sexton was born in Columbia, South Carolina and her family moved to Charleston in the early 1990’s where she has retained residency ever since. Dr. Sexton graduated from West Ashley High School in 2004 and earned a B.S. degree in biology and a minor in Chemistr y from the College of Charleston in 2008. She graduated from both institutions with honors. As a child, Dr. Sexton was always involved in community ser vice and continued her community involvement while attending college. In addition to her community involvement she was also involved in various organizations. Dr. Sexton’s career in optometr y began after graduating college by working as an optometric technician and optician’s assistant for several local optometrist. Those oppor tunities fur ther developed Dr. Sexton’s love for medicine. Having vision difficulties herself, she decided to fur ther her studies in the field of optometr y. In 2009,she attended the Pennsylvania College of Optometr y in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Dr. Sexton achieved her doctorate of optometr y in 2013, graduating with high honors and clinical honors. After
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Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Real
Photo By Tammy Bevins Photography
graduating from the Pennsylvania College of Optometr y, Dr. Sexton worked for several local Optometrists in the Charleston area. In September of 2013, Dr. Sexton became a member of the 20/20 Vision family. Although she doesn’t specialize in one par ticular area, she has a strong interest in pediatrics and ocular disease. When Dr. Sexton is not working, she enjoys spending her time cooking and baking. She loves to challenge her skills with cake decorating and design. She enjoys visiting new restaurants
Women
and tr ying various unique foods. She also has a love for the outdoors. Some of her favorite outdoor activities include hiking, miniature golf, fishing and she is hoping to one day master water skiing.
Health & Wellness
Charleston Woman always features the BEST doctors and health centers. Check our website’s business directory for more resources to better YOUR health. www.charlestonwomanonline.com
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Health & Wellness
“Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.” – Stanley Horowitz
24-7 Pediatric Care. Always close by.
EMERGENCY AND INPATIENT PEDIATRIC SERVICES CLOSE TO HOME. IT’S SOMETHING EVERY FAMILY DESERVES.
Summerville Medical Center’s beautiful and kid-focused ER, pediatric department and intensive care unit were created just for young patients. • Board Certified pediatric emergency and intensive care physicians • 24/7 Pediatric Nurses specifically trained to care for pediatric needs • All private rooms and area for families to stay with the child Residents of Dorchester and Berkeley Counties, North Charleston and surrounding communities are now just minutes from emergency pediatric services. As a national leader in quality care, Summerville Medical Center is proud to make this healthy commitment to kids.
295 Midland Parkway Summerville, SC 29485 (843) 832-5000 www.tridenthealthsystem.com/peds
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Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Real
Women
Scan to see Summerville kids talk about their emergencies!
Recipes
Turkey Sausage, Spinach & Mushroom
Roasted Acorn Squash
One of my most favorite things about my recent move to Georgia was the availability of CSA boxes from the local farmers. I was so very excited to pick up my first box, tear off the top and dig right in! It was like a world of recipe ideas came flooding in with each item I carefully removed from the box.
By Melissa Pelkey-Hass
Yesterday, I picked up our CSA box and as usual couldn’t wait to see what goodies were in store. I anxiously unloaded my precious cargo from the truck, and carefully placed it on the table. On top were the usual suspects of pears, oranges, apples and bananas. I was a little more excited than usual to see honey crisp apples this go ’round as I really want to bake an apple cake later this week. I keep digging and could NOT contain my excitement when I found two little precious acorn squash! I immediately knew what these would become as I had a recipe in my head all week just ready and waiting for this box! I hope you enjoy these as much as we did. They’re a keeper!
Ingredients:
• Four Acorn Squash – halved with seeds removed • Extra Virgin Olive Oil • Salt & Pepper to taste • White balsamic vinegar • ½ container cherry tomatoes, halved • 1 pound turkey sausage • ½ bag of baby spinach • ½ diced onion • 1 diced apple • 1 small container sliced mushrooms • 1 tbsp fresh Thyme • 1 tbsp Caraway seed • 1 tbsp Fennel Seed • ½ tsp Sage • 1 ball fresh mozzarella – rough cut into small chunks Drizzle olive oil and vinegar over the pulp side of the squash. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Place squash on a greased baking sheet, flesh side down. Add cherry tomatoes to the pan. Add about ¼ water to the pan. Roast in a 400 degree oven for about 45 minutes. Remove from oven and turn squash upright. In a skillet, brown the sausage adding all other ingredients, except cheese. Sauté until vegetables are crisp tender. Remove from heat, add roasted cherry tomatoes and stir in cheese chunks. Fill each squash with the stuffing mix, then bake for 10 additional minutes. These squash have a wonderful fall flavor and freeze well for quick weeknight meals. I like easy y’all. Bon appetit!
To find more great recipes and to follow Melissa Pelkey-Hass, visit
www.thefrontporchgourmet.wordpress.com
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Health The Front Let’s Talk & Wellness Porch Gourmet
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Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Real
Women
Health & Wellness
HEART FAILURE CLINIC FINDS LONG-TERM SOLUTIONS Helping patients with heart problems has been a passion for Trinka Douglas since she became an acute care nurse practitioner in 1997.
Last January, Douglas returned to the Health Heart Failure Clinic at Trident Medical Center, which she helped launch more than four years ago. “It seems as though everything that I have done in my career so far has set me up to be here in this place at this time.” “She develops long-term relationships with the patients she follows because they have a high respect for her,” says Allison Walters, Trident Health assistant vice president for Cardiovascular Services. “Her patients love her,” says Walters. Heart failure is a chronic condition in which the heart does not pump blood as efficiently as it should. As the heart’s pumping ability weakens, blood and fluid can back up in other areas. This is often called congestive heart failure. The most common causes of heart failure are coronary artery disease and high blood pressure. Other causes include heart attack, leaky heart valves and some abnormal heart rhythms. Heart failure can diminish quality of life and lead to repeat hospital stays. The Heart Failure Clinic tries to prevent that by educating and empowering patients. When someone leaves a Trident Health hospital after receiving care for heart
failure, they are asked to follow-up with the Heart Failure Clinic within seven days. At the clinic, Douglas talks with patients about medications and how they should be taken. She also reviews limits for salt and fluids, and stresses the importance of weighing in each day. Weight gain of
She develops long-term relationships with the patients she follows because they have a high respect for her. three pounds within 24 hours or five pounds within a week can be a red flag that fluid is building up in the body. Patients typically visit every two weeks until their medication levels are set, and then return every three months. The clinic is also available when problems develop, Douglas says, and that can prevent the need for emergency care. Dr. Darren Sidney is an electrophysiologist, or an “electrician of the heart” with Charleston Heart Specialists on
the Trident Medical Center campus. He often helps with cases of heart failure by providing defibrillator therapy, which can control heart rhythm problems that might otherwise be fatal. Because people with heart failure are susceptible to these rhythm problems, he and Douglas serve many of the same patients. Dr. Sidney says heart failure patients “live on a very fine line” and that the Heart Failure Clinic offers them a “huge benefit” by providing easy access to high quality care. “There’s lots of good data that show the more closely these patients are followed the better outcomes they have.” Likewise, Douglas says great strides have been made over the past two decades in heart failure care. A new CardioMEMS device that wirelessly monitors pulmonary artery pressure and heart rate is becoming available to Medicare patients and may help even more. That’s good news that Douglas is happy to share at the clinic. “It’s very rewarding to treat heart failure patients long-term and see them do well.” Trident Health Heart Failure Clinic is open weekdays, except for Wednesday, at Trident Medical Center. Heart failure patients can call 843-847-4838 to learn more or schedule a visit.
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Health & Wellness
THE MYSTERY OF DYSLEXIA By Ann Whitten, M.Ed., Aiken Learning Lab
S
ara was a happy, imaginative preschooler who loved people, drawing, riding horses, and listening to stories. In kindergarten and first grade, she was talented in math but could not remember letter names and sounds, sight words, or how to spell her last name. By the end of first grade, Sara was crying about homework, struggling with reading, and no longer wanted to go to school.
Because it is a language-based difficulty, students often have related problems with acquiring vocabulary, comprehension skills, and in writing. One in every 5 people, or 20% of the population, is believed to have dyslexia.
Matthew sailed through his early years of school. He spent hours building imaginative creations with Legos and was an exceptional soccer and baseball player. Reading wasn’t easy, but he memorized many common words and used pictures to help guess others. When reading a passage that he had not heard before and that did not have pictures to illustrate the text, he guessed words based on the first letters and confused similar looking words (what and want, expect and expert). In the upper elementary grades, Matthew was a slow and choppy reader who overlooked punctuation and did not phrase text well. He was unable to break a long word into recognizable chunks. Reading was exhausting and avoided whenever possible. Matthew felt embarrassed, struggled with his work, and had behavior problems at school.
• Learning to speak and pronouncing words clearly. • Learning the alphabet, numbers, and days of the week. • Distinguishing similar-sounding words. Rhyming words.
Sara and Matthew are typical of children who are identified as having dyslexia. Dyslexia is a specific learning disability that is neurobiological-- meaning that the reading, spelling, and language difficulties typical of dyslexia originate in the structure of the brain. These difficulties are not due to laziness or motivation. A person with dyslexia has difficulty recognizing words quickly and accurately and has poor spelling and decoding skills. Decoding means using phonics and syllable patterns to help read unknown words. People with dyslexia have difficulty recognizing individual speech sounds within words, and learning that sounds can be blended together for reading and pulled apart for spelling. 12
Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Real
Signs of dyslexia in preschoolers may include difficulties in these areas:
In the early school years, parents and teachers may observe difficulty: Naming letters, learning letter sounds and blending sounds into words. Recognizing and remembering sight words, vocabulary, or spelling words Using phonics to help with decoding unknown words, (just guessing words). Reading orally with good accuracy from age-appropriate books. Showing confidence and interest in reading. Learning to copy, spell, and write sentences. From upper elementary through high school, students may demonstrate earlier weaknesses and also struggle with: • Understanding humor, puns and idioms. • Reading aloud (slow or inaccurate) or silently with good understanding. • Feeling confident and interested in reading. May “hate” to read. • Remembering sight words and new vocabulary words. • Accurately analyzing unfamiliar words (tending to guess using the context). • Reading words and letters in correct order, reversing or skipping over them.
Women
• Understanding word problems in math. • Breaking multisyllabic words into smaller “chunks” or syllables for reading. • Misreading or omitting little words, adding words into the text. • Mastering spelling rules and spelling words consistently and correctly. • Understanding complex text. • Generating ideas, organizing writing, taking notes, and proofreading. • Learning a foreign language. Failing to learn to read defeats dreams and closes doors to opportunities that an otherwise talented student might pursue. Students with dyslexia have minds that process information differently and in unique ways. Researchers are studying the extraordinary strengths that exist in this type of brain structure. People with dyslexia are found in many creative professions and have the potential to be future entrepreneurs, scientists, artists, actors, musicians, engineers, physicians, and writers. We cannot afford to waste their talents. It is critical for students with dyslexia to receive intervention early in their school experiences. Researchers have consistently demonstrated that most struggling readers can be brought up to grade level in basic reading skills if appropriate teaching is provided early, with sufficient intensity, and for a long enough time.
For more information on dyslexia, learning disabilities, and effective remediation see: SC Branch of the International Dyslexia Association, www.scbida.org and Learning Disabilities Association of SC, www.ldasc.org.
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9/29/15 3:11 PM www.charlestonwomanonline.com 13
The Front Porch Gourmet Celebrating the Survivor in You!
“I don’t know how useful his story is, but I will continue to tell it.”
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Cha rleston Real WomenWoma n c e l e b r a te s th e s u r v i vo r i n yo u
Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
Celebrating the Survivor in You!
Keeping Kolten’s
Memory Alive
atty Johnson wants all parents to know what she and her husband Kurt did not know until it was too late. On the morning of September 3, 2014, Patty found their 4 year old son Kolten unresponsive in their home. In the midst of her panic, she was able to dial 911 and receive help with administering CPR until the first responders arrived. Upon their arrival, they were able to get a heartbeat and a pulse, which gave Patty hope. Patty would hold onto that hope until they arrived at the hospital. Kolten was rushed to Trident Hospital in North Charleston where he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Patty recalls, “We were floored. I couldn’t understand how a perfectly healthy 4 year old could be in this condition virtually overnight.” Within an hour of arriving at Trident, Kolten was transported to MUSC where he was declared brain dead after all day testing. Kolten’s body had gone into Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA) and he passed away shortly before 7:00 am on September 4, 2014. The Johnsons didn’t know anything about Type 1 Diabetes prior to Kolten’s death. To their knowledge, no one in their family or circle of friends is living with T1D. When Kolten began exhibiting some of the classic signs of T1D in late August, it never occurred to Patty or Kurt because they were unaware of the signs and symptoms. Like many parents, they explained away his excessive thirst to the dog days of late summer in the South. It was only natural that he would frequent the restroom more because he was drinking so much. And because he was eating more than usual, they were not concerned with his weight loss. Like a typical boy, he played hard and had a hearty appetite. Looking back now, the first signs of something being seriously wrong with Kolten began less than 24 hours before Patty found him unresponsive. He had complained of not feeling well and had begun vomiting the previous morning. He was able to eat some crackers and a popsicle and stopped throwing up during the day. When he went to bed around 8:00 pm that evening, he began throwing up again. At this point, the Johnsons made a decision to take him to the doctor the next day. Tragically, Kolten never made the 10:30 am appointment with his pediatrician. That is just how quickly the onset of Type 1 Diabe-
TEAM KOLTEN tes occurs and can quickly become a dire situation. Type 1 Diabetes often presents as the flu, a stomach bug or strep throat and is easily missed by parents and even the medical community. After Kolten passed away, Patty and Kurt felt they needed to get their younger son tested for Type 1 Diabetes. Kale is now enrolled in the Trial Net program that screens for Type 1 Diabetes as will his new sibling that is due in July. Trial Net is comprised of an international network of researchers who are exploring ways to prevent, delay and reverse the progression of type 1 diabetes. It was through Trial Net that the Johnsons heard about JDRF. JDRF (formerly known as the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) is the largest charitable funder of Type 1 Diabetes research and also one of the largest sources of support for newly diagnosed families. Since connecting with JDRF, Patty and Kurt have found a renewed source of hope. “The wonderful people at MUSC gave us some information about the JDRF. I felt very strongly that I needed to focus on something to keep me sane. I didn’t jump right into it. I was and still am very much grieving. After a couple of months, I started to think about participating in the JDRF walk. I felt it necessary to share Kolten’s story to that community. If anyone
was going to understand, it would be them.” In March of 2015, the Johnson’s formed Team Kolten and participated in the Charleston JDRF Walk to Cure held annually on Daniel Island. The children’s play area at the walk was named, “Kolten’s Korner” and dedicated in his memory. “We felt so blessed to have so many people not only walk, but donate in Kolten’s honor. It will always amaze me just how good people are. We had such an outpouring of support after he died, and that support continued months later at the walk. I do believe that we have made people aware of this disease that wouldn’t have been.” Realizing that awareness is key, Patty and Kurt have decided to share Kolten’s story to help save lives. “I don’t know how much Kolten’s story can help anyone else, but I don’t want him to have died in vain. If just one family can prevent this from happening by knowing the signs (no matter how faint they may be), then he didn’t die in vain. I will always wonder if I had seen them for what they were, would Kolten be alive. If I had taken him to the doctor when he started drinking a lot, would he be alive. I’ll never know the answer to these questions, but maybe someone won’t ever have to ask them. It is extremely hard for me to talk about him and how he died, but I have to. I feel that by not talking about it, I’m not honoring his life and death. He existed. He www.charlestonwomanonline.com
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Celebrating the Survivor in You! matters. If I tried to put it behind me without sharing, I just don’t feel like I’m honoring him. This is my way of keeping his memory alive.” Patty thinks the best way to inform parents about Type 1 Diabetes is during the early check-ups after birth. “There is no need to scare parents, but like every other life threatening disease, we as parents, should be informed. There should be a check list at the
time of check-ups. There should also be testing at least once a year. It’s not difficult, and as I now know, could save lives. We are told about food allergies, why not this?” Patty also feels it’s important that parents be keenly aware of the signs and symptoms of T1D and not dismiss them. “Kolten was a very active child. He was in preschool the year
before and the year he died. He played T-ball in the spring of 2014. He took swimming lessons the whole month of June. He also played soccer for a couple of weeks right before he died. In fact, his first soccer game was supposed to be that Tuesday night that he got sick. Not to mention a whole summer of swimming, and playing outside. I feel the need to share this because these are all reasons we weren’t too concerned about his increased thirst. It being August in the South, it was also very hot. That being said, now knowing what I know, any parent should have an increased concern if their child does show this sign.” For now, the Johnsons are still very much grieving the loss of their son and trying to find a new normal for their lives. They want to stay involved with JDRF and be a part of finding a cure in Kolten’s memory and for their other children. “Everything about Kolten is important to me. I don’t know how useful his story is, but I will continue to tell it. I also don’t know what it’s like to have a child live with Type 1 Diabetes. I do know what it’s like to have a child die from it. From what I’ve read and heard, it’s an extremely hard disease to live with. Children shouldn’t have to live with this. It’s horrible. I really don’t know why I don’t hear about it as much as other diseases. I pray for a cure.”
PATTY AND KURT Warning signs of T1D may occur suddenly and can include: • Extreme thirst • Frequent urination • Drowsiness or lethargy • Increased appetite • Sudden weight loss • Sudden vision changes • Sugar in the urine • Fruity odor on the breath • Heavy or labored breathing • Stupor or unconsciousness *source www.jdrf.org For more information about Type 1 Diabetes and getting involved with JDRF, visit www.jdrf.org For more information about Trial Net, visit www.diabetestrialnet.org Beth McCrary is a freelance writer living in Lexington, SC who is passionate about raising awareness of Type 1 Diabetes. She serves as the Advocacy Team Chair for the JDRF Palmetto Chapter and is mom to Hannah, T1D Warrior since 8/21/08.
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Let’s Talk
A N E R A O F MEANNESS by Kay H. Barlow
R
arely do we look into the crib at that precious newborn and see a child who will become a bully, be bullied or stand by and watch another person bullied.Yet, statistics show that bullying takes place every 7 minutes on our playgrounds and goes unreported a majority of the time.1 Bullying is a learned behavior. It is meanness, a quality we do not want to see in ourselves and especially not in our children. In view of recent suicides throughout the country, we must recognize bullying as a serious problem, with serious repercussions and in need of serious attention. As parents, we are our children’s greatest teachers. We must model kindness and show that bullying will not be tolerated. According to Olweus, a bullying prevention program, a person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more person, and has difficulty defending himself or herself. 2 Bullying comes in many forms,
both direct and indirect.3 Physical bullying involves hitting, kicking, shoving and spitting with the intention of causing physical harm and fear. Physical bullying is most often done by boys to other boys. Verbal bullying includes name-calling, teasing and making insults or threats to embarrass and intimidate. Social or relational bullying is mental harassment by teasing, excluding or humiliating. Threatening gestures, body language, dirty looks and gossip are used to isolate individuals and destroy status within a peer group. Social bullying is most often done by
girls to other girls. Cyber bullying is the newest and perhaps the most harmful type of bullying our children are experiencing. Text messages, voicemails, e-mails and social networking sites are used to threaten, intimidate and spread false rumors about a victim. Our children are tech savvy but often emotionally insensitive to the feelings of others. In today’s world of immediate connection, one photo upload or derogatory post can go “viral,” causing great harm and hurt almost instantly. As parents, we must stay connected with our children. Talk with them, listen to them and get to know their friends. Let them know that bullying is wrong, unacceptable and carries serious consequences. Watch for signs that your child is being bullied. If he or she no longer wants to go to school or ride the bus, begins losing his or her school supplies or lunch money, has unexpected cuts and bruises, you may have a problem and you need to investigate. Go to the proper authorities. Start at the school, but do not stop there if the issue is not resolved.
As parents, we must stay connected with our children. Talk with them, listen to them and get to know their friends.
Bullying is not only about the bully and the victim. Bullying also impacts those who witness such acts. Many simply stand by and do nothing, often resulting in years of emotional distress and guilt. We must teach our children empathy.
We must show them how to treat others and encourage them to seek help when needed. In the simplest words, we must foster love and kindness. Love and kindness should be taught early and often, as no one wants their child to grow up in an era of meanness. Midlands Education and Business Alliance is a local nonprofit working to connect students, parents, educators and employers to education and career opportunities in the Midlands through programs and partnerships of business, school, college, faith and other community leaders. MEBA fosters community collaboration between business and education to promote economic development and enhance the quality of life in the Midlands. For more information on bullying, please visit our website at www.mebasc.com/ your-child for tips and links to other great organizations and resources. Pepler, Craig & Roberts, 1998. Olweus. Retrieved from http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page 3 Bully Free Program. Facts About Bullying. Retrieved from http://www.bullyfree.com/free-reSources/facts-about-bullying 1 2
About Kay H. Barlow Kay H. Barlow is the Parent and Community Education Director for Midlands Education and Business Alliance. Ms. Barlow has over 20 years experience working with students of the nine school districts of the Midlands and with various parents and community. Much of her time is spent working with educators, social workers and businesses dealing with the growing issue of poverty in South Carolina and its effect on the families of this state. Ms. Barlow holds an undergraduate degree from Missouri Baptist College and a Masters of Education from the University of South Carolina. www.charlestonwomanonline.com
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South Carolina Daycares & Your Rights as a Parent Choosing the Best Daycare Center For Your Child By: Kenneth E. Berger
ur children are our most precious – and vulnerable – resource. They receive love and require care. With more and more parents working to provide for their little ones, daycares have taken on an increasingly significant role across South Carolina and the nation. Finding the right daycare is of immeasurable importance to parents. Knowing the right questions to ask can be a big help in making the best choice for your son or daughter.
Kenneth E. Berger Above all else, daycares are responsible for providing a safe, healthy, and nurturing environment for children. Daycare providers should be treated just like anyone else who provides a critical service: just like you would before choosing a doctor, be sure to ask people you trust what their experience has been with a daycare. Likewise, do not hesitate to interview the daycare director or teachers, before placing your child in their hands. Questions to ask daycare providers include: - Is your facility licensed? - Have you ever been cited by the Department of Social Services (“DSS”)? - What education and experience do you and your staff have? - What sort of training do you require your staff to complete, and how often? - Do you run a national background check on staff, or just a SLED check? - May I see the facilities and observe the teachers who will be caring for my child? - Do you have references from parents? Even if the daycare gives all the right answers, you may still request the facility’s file from DSS or conduct additional online research. Regulations for Daycare Facilities A children’s daycare facility is defined as a center that is licensed to care for 13 children or more. In order to receive this licensing, the
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facility must abide by all South Carolina childcare laws – which pertain to everything from food and health care provisions, to property inspections and staffing. State law requires that a licensed daycare center meet the following standards: - Have a director or co-director who is at least 21 years of age and meets certain education requirements; - Staffed by employees who are certified in first aid and CPR; - Passed a childcare licensing inspection; - Passed a fire and sanitation inspection; and - Submitted fingerprint tests and complete background checks for all employees. What You Can Do If Your Child’s Daycare Breaks the Rules Despite strict childcare laws, some facilities still fail to provide a safe environment for our sons and daughters. While some injuries are the result of unforeseeable accidents, many arise because of a facility’s conscious choice to ignore safety rules. Parents have a number of options when this happens. First, you can
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request a meeting with the director as well as your child’s teacher. Second, you may report the incident to DSS for further investigation. Third, you can request that the facility contact its liability insurance company and establish a claim. Fourth, you can remove your child from the center where the incident occurred. No parent should have to worry about their child’s health and wellbeing when dropping them off at daycare. Similarly, every parent should know their rights and those of their child in the event of a serious, childcare safety violation. After studying at the University of Washington and Harvard University, Kenneth “Kenny” Berger returned to South Carolina to serve the community that raised him. A graduate of USC Law, Kenny has been representing injured people and their families since his first day in practice. Kenny’s practice areas include personal injury, workers’ compensation, and wrongful death. He is a member of the American Association for Justice’s Traumatic Brain Injury Litigation Group, and was recognized as a “Rising Star in 2013” by SuperLawyers. For more information visit bergerlawsc.com or call (803) 790-2800.
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The Etiquette of Sympathy
What to do When Someone You Know Suffers a Loss by Lydia Ramsey
O
n a beautiful spring day I was driving home after welcoming my first grandchild into the world. Little Samuel Carroll Niles was whole and healthy, and life was good – almost. My husband had suffered a serious fall in October and was unable to accompany me. He seemed to be recovering, but I was still concerned about him.
I was nearly home when my cell phone rang. The call was from a friend who had stopped by to visit Hank and became alarmed when there was no response. I drove into my driveway with the lights of the EMS truck flashing in my rear view mirror. I lost my warm, wonderful, gentle husband. Within a three-week period, I became a grandmother and a widow. As I attempted to get back to life “as normal,” I found that grief had its own timetable. When I was able to write again, I decided that I needed to address this issue that confronts everyone at some point, personally and professionally. It is often difficult to know what to say or do when a death occurs. I want to share what I have learned that may help when someone you know—a client, a colleague, a coworker or a friend—loses a loved one. It is important to do something. Many of us are so uncomfortable with death that we don’t do anything at all—afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Attend the funeral or the memorial service if you can.Your presence offers inestimable support. Even if you can’t speak directly to the family members, you can sign the book that they will look at over and over again and they will know you cared enough to be there. Write a note as soon as you can. Personal notes of condolence are a source of great comfort—more than you can imagine. I was moved by the ways people expressed their sympathy. There were those who simply spoke of their sincere sorrow for my loss.There were those who described what Hank had meant to them personally. Others wrote about the character and personality of the special person I had lost. I was grateful for each and every one.
Commercial sympathy cards are equally cherished. It was clear to me that the commercial cards I received had been carefully chosen. Each one came with an additional sentence or two written by the sender. Be sure you take the time to add a short personal note. Send flowers unless the family specifies otherwise. Send them to the family, the funeral home, the church or the gravesite. Flowers add warmth and are visual reminders of the support of friends. Flowers and personal gifts continued to arrive weeks later to confirm that neither my pain nor I had been forgotten. Take food and other items for daily living to the house.The last thing the grieving family can think about is grocery shopping and meal preparation. A thoughtful neighbor called mAe and said, “I am going to the grocery store. What do you need?” My response was a baffled, “I have no idea.”This kind, generous person filled her car with everything from fresh fruit and vegetables to paper towels and toilet tissue. She even included pet food for the four-legged members of the family. Make a contribution to the charities indicated by the family. Honor the wishes of the deceased. Give to the causes they chose unless the obituary states that contributions should be made to the donor’s favorite charity. If you missed the funeral notice and don’t have that information, call the funeral home.They will have a record. Be specific when you offer to help. Most people say, “If there is anything you need, call.” While their intentions were genuine, I didn’t always know what I could ask certain people to do. When our assistant rector uttered those words, my face must have flashed back a message that said, “Like what?” because he immediately followed with a verbal list of all things I could call on him or other church members to do. One neighbor offered to walk the dog. Another pro-
Lydia Ramsey claimed to be handy with household repairs if anything broke down or stopped working. Someone else volunteered to pick up family members from the airport. Once people were clear on what they could do, I knew where to turn without hesitation for what I needed. Make a note of the date of the death. Honor the anniversary with a note or a phone call that says you haven’t forgotten. Any gesture you make is comforting. A simple word, a hug, a phone call, a card or an offer to run an errand are just a few ways to express your sympathy. Keep in mind that great authors, poets and thinkers have written for centuries about grief and loss, searching for just the right words to console themselves or someone else. When all is said and done, there are no words. Sometimes the best you can offer are the words, “I’m sorry.” I hope that what I have learned first hand will help you to reach out with confidence and ease the next time someone close to you suffers a loss. Lydia Ramsey is a business etiquette expert, professional speaker, corporate trainer and author of Manners That Sell – Adding The Polish That Builds Profits. For more information about her programs, products and services, visit her web site www.mannersthatsell.com. www.charlestonwomanonline.com
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PLAY IS HOW CHILDREN LEARN
By Carol A. Ryall Photos By Clark Berry
In January, EdVenture Children’s Museum was very fortunate in acquiring an enthusiastic and knowledgeable new President and CEO. A native of Yorktown, Virginia, Karen S. Coltrane came to EdVenture from the Children’s Museum of Richmond (CMoR). Moving from Virginia, where her husband’s family has lived for ten generations, was a significant step for the Coltranes. However, the fact that their only child, Sam, is a freshman at the College of Charleston helped pull them toward SC. Ms. Coltrane worked her way through the College of William & Mary at nearby Busch Gardens, where she met her husband, Rick. He works for the Department of Education in Washington, DC and commutes from SC. (Ironically, she said, his commute is actually quicker from SC than it was in Virginia!) Karen Coltrane said one of her biggest surprises has been how many people have asked her why she would move from Virginia to South Carolina. When she answers, “Because Edventure is one of the top Children’s Museums in the country,” those questioning her are typically surprised. “This is something you can honestly brag about to newcomers and visitors. EdVenture is a museum to be tremendously proud of,” she exclaimed! One of the pleasant surprises after arriving at Edventure has been the strength of the staff. “They had been without a CEO for a while, and as someone new coming in, you never know what you are going to find. They are a smart, committed, experienced group of people; it is a delight to work with them, “ she stated. EdVenture has an extensive array of programming, which is one of the things that attracted her to the museum. Kids can participate in Cooking Classes, Day Camps, Toddler Days, Home School programs, After School programs (offered in 12 Richland County schools,) Birthday parties, and the Big Ed Health team, among others. With help from Corporate Sponsors, the Museum provides programs highlighting specific lessons in
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finance, biology, engineering, math, art, music and much more. “Our core purpose,” Ms. Coltrane explained, “is to nurture the love of learning. Play is how children learn. While they play, they are building the scaffolding in their brains for social skills, adaptability, intelligence, creativity and the ability to solve problems to build on. That foundation is critical for those skills to develop. There is so much more going on there than just having fun!” “That’s probably why the Maker Space is one of my favorite exhibits,” she continued. “They first envision what they want to make and then they create it.You can see their brains developing right before your eyes. This is the only type of activity that lights up both sides of your brain, the creative right side and the analytical left side as well.” “This kind of Creative Problem Solving ability is what every employer in America wants. If children don’t have the opportunity to experience this kind of play at a very young age, they never develop that ability. Neuroscience is learning more every day about how critical this stage of their brain development is.” When asked about her biggest frustration, Ms. Coltrane replied, “ So often when people are discussing organizations they support and why, they will dismiss us as glorified childcare; a luxury, not a necessity. They don’t understand how significant Early Childhood Development is to almost everything our state wants to accomplish, especially in edu-
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cation. With the programs we are offering, every child in SC could be ready to learn when they get to kindergarten. If they are behind when they start out, it is extremely difficult for them ever to catch up. That is fundamental; certainly not a luxury.” If you would like to help support EdVenture there are several ways to do it. You can become a member; sponsor an exhibit, class or program (Corporations, Organizations, Clubs, even Sunday School classes could consider this) or donate supplies for the Maker Space. Karen Coulter suggested the types of things they could use include cardboard – flat pieces or tubes (toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls, wrapping paper tubes,) popsicle sticks, construction paper, styrofoam, masking tape, duct tape, coffee filters, pipe cleaners, foam trays and containers, old CDs, LEDs, Coin/watch batteries, soldering supplies, old computers & other electronics, paint brushes, water based paints, markers, string, glue. Probably any craft supplies or kits that you no longer use could also be put to good use. Think how many of these things you throw away every day. Grab a big bag and start stashing these “treasures” for tomorrow’s inventors to use today! You can drop your bag off at the admissions desk at the front door of EdVenture, anytime they are open, and they will be very grateful for your support! If you have never been to EdVenture, grab your kid, grandchild, or a neighbor’s child and head on down there. It’s a GREAT museum – one of the best in the country, actually!
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Our core purpose is to nurture the love of learning.
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Recipes
NAKED CHICKEN TENDERS By Mandy Rivers
Recipe • 4 tablespoons Chicken Seasoning (recipe below) • 1 pound chicken breast tenderloins • 3-4 tablespoons vegetable oil Using kitchen shears, cut the white tendon from each tenderloin. Or don’t. I just do it because they skeeve me out. Liberally coat tenderloins with Chicken Seasoning. And I do mean liberally. This is less than 2/10 salt so rock it out.
I
use my chicken seasoning each and every time I cook chicken. Whether I’m baking it, grilling it, frying it, sautéing it or putting it in ice cream, it gets a good coating of the seasoning. But my very favorite way to use it is to coat chicken tenderloins and pan-fry them without breading… kind of like a naked chicken tender. Once cooked, you can use the tenderloins in so many dishes. When you’re cooking on a budget, you can make one 1-lb. package (about $5.00) stretch to feed your family.
Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Use enough oil so that the bottom of the skillet is thoroughly covered. Once your oil is good and hot, place about half the tenderloins in the skillet. Do not overcrowd the pan. These cook quickly so you’re not going to miss Christmas if you have to cook two batches. Cook about 4 minutes or until lightly browned on each side then remove from heat. Let chicken rest about 10 minutes before cutting. I mean it!
Chicken Seasoning • 2 tablespoons salt • 2 tablespoons paprika • 2 tablespoons garlic powder • 1 tablespoon dried thyme • 1 tablespoon white pepper • 1 tablespoon black pepper • 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper* • 1 tablespoon onion powder Mix all ingredients together and store in an airtight container. I keep mine in a large used spice container that still has its shaker top for easy use. *if you prefer a Southwest vibe, use chili powder instead
Serving Suggestions
You can absolutely serve these on their own but if you need to make one pound stretch, here are a few ideas: Big Fat Salad: Make everyone their own entrée size salad on a dinner plate. Cut the tenderloins into bite-sized pieces and place on top. My brood likes their Big Fat Salad with romaine lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, chopped boiled eggs, cheddar or blue cheese and whatever else I might have handy. Serve with ranch, blue cheese or honey mustard dressing. Chicken Alfredo: Cook linguine according to package directions. Meanwhile heat jarred alfredo sauce (Gasp! These are weeknight meals, remember? Don’t get all judgey, we’re pimping on a budget here) and add 1 teaspoon Chicken Seasoning. Toss pasta with alfredo sauce then plate pasta with chicken on top.
For more budget friendly recipes, visit
www.mandyrivers.com
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Personal Note
A
nother season of baseball is over for us at the Duncan household. Of my three sons, Colton is our baseball player. Trey started for a few years but chose football when he was eight. Ryan started at five but preferred soccer. Colton began his baseball journey when he was four. At the community YMCA, it was a fun experience. For his five-year-old season, we moved to Lexington Recreation and so began the next seven years of baseball. Colton loves the game of baseball. He loves his teammates and coaches. He will be the first one to tell you who the “good guys” are (in his humble opinion, of course!) He is that guy who just loves the game. No doubt he will be the kind of man who plays for our church softball team one day and coaches his son or sons in Little League. When he was seven, Colton had a coach who shaved his head for cancer. That inspired Colton. Later, when he heard me talking about a little girl with leukemia, he decided he wanted to shave his head to raise money and help her family. We had a big party at Snip-Its in our community and invited the community to come out and support the cause. That same year, he broke his wrist and was out of baseball for half a season. Seven seasons of games provide many memories, both good and bad. I’ve witnessed parents screaming at their children after we lost games. I saw a 10-year-old pitcher cry, as he stood in front of parents and friends being berated by his father. I watched other parents scream at children who didn’t even belong to them because they made a bad play or struck out. Baseball was ugly at times and beautiful at others. I watched coaches who never raised their voice, and I watched coaches who screamed to hear themselves scream. I also watched coaches who encouraged our sons to do their best. The last two years we have been privileged to be with a set of coaches who are outstanding. Guys who love baseball almost as much as their sons love it. Or, perhaps, they love baseball because they love their boys so much. Last year we won the championship game for our division. We had some superstars on our team who went on to play for the high school teams this year. There were some returners on our team for this season, but no one stood out as being a phenomenal baseball player. There were lots of good solid players, but no superstars. This year’s team has been, by far, my favorite team to watch play. It seemed when some of our solid players had a bad day, some of our other players stepped up and made a great play or hit a deep ball and scored some needed runs. This little team with no “superstars” won every single game. There were close calls. I remember a game when a player was injured on the other team. It was scary for the boys and parents to watch, but we rallied and won. In fact in three games we came back from a deficit to win the game. We had two Jacks on our team, and two Jacksons, Zane, Mason, Colton, Braden, Carson, Bryce, and Alex and they played for Academy Sports. We made it to the championship again this year. In the first game of the tournament, the coach’s son was injured. This young man was the heart of our team; a good player, a better person. I never witnessed him be anything but respectful and kind. My son told me once that Braden was a friend to everyone. He said even when the other boys might be inclined to pick on someone or be unkind, Braden never participated. Our whole team went down with Braden when he injured himself at first base, and we lost the first game of the playoffs.
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Women
Personal Note
I should back up and tell you this year the parents were the best, as well. Baseball parents aren’t like football parents in my experience. Baseball is an individual sport as well as a team sport. Parents cheer differently at baseball games. In baseball, most people tend to cheer only for their sons. I like to cheer for all the kids (but, especially for my boy, of course.) These parents were exceptionally sportsmanlike. I never heard one of them say anything ugly (at least not out loud) when someone struck out, and we needed them to get a hit. I never heard a dad yell at anyone but an umpire. Bryce’s dad had this great “radio voice”, and he would yell for all of our children. He knew each of them by name. He would encourage every hitter, every pitcher and his own son, (who was a good solid player) as well. On several occasions I witnessed him leaving the ball park with his arm over Bryce’s shoulder, both of them smiling. Good job, Dad. We won game two. Braden returned with a cast on his arm, cheered on his teammates and stood with his face to the field encouraging his friends. He came back to see his team, and his father win a championship. Game three we won again, and the title was ours, for the second year in a row. We won because we were a group of eleven boys who played as a unit; not because we were a team full of superstars. When one couldn’t produce, another player did exactly that. They also had a coach who cared more about them as individuals and giving their best effort than just winning games. Don’t get me wrong. Clete Cordero likes to win. My husband and I met Clete when Colton did, so my interaction with him is just the parent of baseball player that he coached for two years. You remember the scripture that says, you will know a tree by the fruit it bears? Well, I feel safe to say he is a Christian. I know that he is a hard worker who loves his son. I know he loved to see those boys win. You could see it in his expression, and you could hear it in his words. Sometimes he would get upset because they had worked on something at practice, and it didn’t materialize in a game. He would take his hat off and mutter under his breath, or he might call a player out. But, he would also be the first one to encourage a player. He would yell at the top of his lungs to tell him what a great job he did on a stealing a base, or making a huge play. I heard him say every child’s name multiple times during the season when his words were encouraging and affirmative. A coach holds a lot of influence over our sons and daughters at this age. A good coach or a bad coach can have an immense influence on a young person’s self-image. We have been lucky to have men who understood their influence and were careful of how they used it. Coach Clete, Coach Cash, and Coach Anderson really made these last two seasons fun for our boys. Baseball is a great sport with many good memories attached to it for me. I used to watch the Braves play with my dad. I took the kids to Major League games when we were in Atlanta. I saw Glavin and Smoltz and Chipper Jones play when they were in their prime. That was exciting, but my all-time favorite baseball player is number 12. He is 12 years old. He has blonde hair and blue eyes and a smile he is always ready to share. He has a lot of his father’s characteristics, and he is strong-willed like his mother. Some people wait a lifetime to meet their favorite player. Mine calls me Mom. Congratulations to all the baseball players finishing up the 2015 season. Hope to see you next season at the ballpark. Until Next Time, Your Friend
Lori Samples Duncan
Good teams become great ones when the members trust each other enough to surrender the “me” for the “we.” -Coach Phil Jackson www.charlestonwomanonline.com
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