Pembroke Street Lent 2018 Issue 7 - The Winter Edition

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ISSUE 7

the

Winter Edition PEMBROKE STREET


CONTENTS Pembroke Visits Corpus Christi 4 Interview with Jan 8 Pembroke Plants 14 The Merits of Taking a Day Off 18 Profile: Pembroke College Memes for Trough-Loving Teens 22 Cambridge’s Best Bridges 24 The Weird and Wonderful History of Pembroke 28

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welcome to issue 7 Our first print edition of 2018! The team have all worked so hard on making this issue, and a special thanks must go out also to all our new contributors! We really hope you enjoy this read since there are some fantastic pieces that have been a while in the making! Bel has done a lovely interview with our nurse, Jan, and Emily’s piece on making your college accommodation feel homey is just right for the new year. We’ve got a well-researched piece on some spooky Pembroke history from Katy Bennett, as well as a much-demanded *exclusive* interview with the elusive admins of Pembroke College Memes for Trough-Loving Teens. If you’d like to get involved with the next issue, send us a message on Facebook, email Charlotte (ca478), or contact any other member of the team! Thanks to Anna Mochar, Rue Corel, Cal Hewitt, Jan Brighting, Anki Deo, Dan Wakefield, Quintin Langley-Coleman, Andrew Jameson, Katy Bennett, Jessica Murdoch, Ben Mortishire-Smith, Andrei Kanavalau, and the anonymous admins of Pembroke Memes for Trough-Loving Teens. And a well done to the wonderful Pembroke Street team, Phoebe Flatau, Amy Teh, Belen Bale, Emily Fish, Disa Greaves, Tasha May, Eunice Wong, Helen Jennings and Tim Lee!

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Pembroke Visits a Nearby College :

Corpus Christi

Who can be surprised that we found ourselves drawn in by this chapel?

Venturing into the corridors and staircases, it seems that Corpus does indeed have secrets - including its discrimination against tall people. Cal‘s head can testify that if you happen to be tall, Corpus is not the place for you.

Low ceilings - yet another attempt at keeping intruders out of Corpus? These particular stairs lead to the (naturally locked)

Bacon Room. Cal Hewitt, Anna Mochar and Rue Corel pay an (undercover) visit to next-door college, Corpus

Our investigative efforts were

thwarted at every turn. 4

However, we were pleasantly surprised by the aesthetics of this small and charming place. The intimate atmosphere made us feel so at home that our guilt at flouting the many signs placed to obstruct the progress of outsiders through the college quickly melted away. The grand and beautiful chapel was welcoming and rather luminous – unlike its counterparts at other colleges. Perhaps, though, we were simply drawn in by the sounds of an organist at practice. Were they trying to put us in a state of trance to tamper with our judgement? Ever wary, we decided to investigate further.

Undeniable highlight of the visit?

The pelican. Though sadly somewhat too high to engage in conversation.

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Pembroke Visits a Nearby College :

Corpus Christi

Who can be surprised that we found ourselves drawn in by this chapel?

Venturing into the corridors and staircases, it seems that Corpus does indeed have secrets - including its discrimination against tall people. Cal‘s head can testify that if you happen to be tall, Corpus is not the place for you.

Low ceilings - yet another attempt at keeping intruders out of Corpus? These particular stairs lead to the (naturally locked)

Bacon Room. Cal Hewitt, Anna Mochar and Rue Corel pay an (undercover) visit to next-door college, Corpus

Our investigative efforts were

thwarted at every turn. 4

However, we were pleasantly surprised by the aesthetics of this small and charming place. The intimate atmosphere made us feel so at home that our guilt at flouting the many signs placed to obstruct the progress of outsiders through the college quickly melted away. The grand and beautiful chapel was welcoming and rather luminous – unlike its counterparts at other colleges. Perhaps, though, we were simply drawn in by the sounds of an organist at practice. Were they trying to put us in a state of trance to tamper with our judgement? Ever wary, we decided to investigate further.

Undeniable highlight of the visit?

The pelican. Though sadly somewhat too high to engage in conversation.

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The Pelican Bar (directly

beneath its namesake pelican) is the perfect place for a nap.

The pretty Old Court,

feat. hazardous greenery.

Feels good to be bad. 6

The two small courts were endearing - with the exception of a building site that encompassed the majority of the larger. The purpose of construction – artistic or otherwise – remains unknown. Within each of these there were many small trees and bushes which added to the prettiness of the college, but which we soon found to be a serious health and safety hazard: both Anna and Rue walked into them and were in a state of shock after disentangling themselves from Corpus’ flora. We suppose that a true Corpus student learns quickly to navigate their way through such dangerous greenery. Our cover was blown and we made a quick escape past the suspicious building works. Corpus’ secrets are evidently well-guarded and we shall perhaps, in future, venture forth in another attempt to unearth them.


Cal smiles through the pain inflicted on our

aesthetic sensibilities by this unsightly

building site.

Whilst Pembroke is, of course, the friendliest college, Corpus restricts much of its grounds to college members only. As a result, it was necessary to go undercover as Corpus students in order to discover what this elusive college is truly like. Yet even then, we found that many destinations of our investigation, such as the hall, the NCR, the OCR (whatever one of those is), and the intriguingly named ‘Bacon Room’ were simply locked. Which left us thinking: does Corpus have something to hide?

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Interview with Jan by Belen Bale

‘The view of Cambridge students as elitist, indulged, spoiled brats is so inaccurate'

Let’s face it: Cambridge can be really, really tough. Pressure from family, friends, and faculty (that awful Phys Natsci DoS’s email being an example) can contribute to the normalisation of panic and stress. The isolating nature of high stress can make it difficult to look for support in Cambridge, and, despite the fact that there are a lot of improvements that need to be made in terms of the university’s pastoral care, I wouldn’t be alone in saying that we’re extremely lucky to have someone like Jan at Pembroke. Her office in Red Buildings, with its pictures of dogs, grandchildren, and Johnny Depp, is a warm bubble in the otherwise stressful world of Cambridge. It is somewhere safe, welcoming and comfortable, where you can have a cup of tea and talk about anything - from mental health, to work, to nothing at all in particular. We went down to chat to Jan about her experiences and her inspirations (but mostly to get the good Jan advice that you never knew you needed).

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How did you come to be working at Pembroke?

I trained at Westminster Hospital and my first post as a Ward Sister at Queen Mary’s Hospital, Roehampton when I was 24. I worked in medicine,

surgery, orthopaedics and ophthalmics before having a family, at which point I did my teacher training and worked in a variety of colleges and ARU, followed by three years of teaching in a prison. That was interesting! I then felt I was losing touch with my nursing skills so I returned to nursing, first as a

triage sister for Camdoc, and when night duty finally got the better of me I trained as a counsellor in the drug and alcohol service in Cambridge, where I worked with young people with complex mental health issues. I then had a

few family issues which meant I needed to take some time out, and during that time I did exam marking and assessment, where I happened to come across an advert for the Pembroke job. I thought this would combine all the skills and experience

that I had accumulated as a mother and as a nurse over the years!

does your role involve? What

I am responsible for the health and welfare of students and staff and have developed really supportive relationships with the tutorial team, other college nurses, Trumpington Street Practice and the UCS. The responsibility can sometimes be scary but the rewards are immense: I feel appreciated at every level,

to students. The role encompasses from staff medical things, surgical things, nursing (you never know when somebody’s going to fall off their bike or turn up with a sports injury) as well as mental health issues, relationship issues… lots of things. I think the tutors and DoSs trust me and trust that I’m conscientious and thorough and care about the students,

very deeply actually. I think they see me as a crazy aunt!

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What’s changed for the students? I think students are a bit more relaxed - they can fit in more easily and more quickly, and this year is the first year that I haven’t had a single homesick or very upset student. But I always get both funny and heartbreaking stories - I’ve heard things from students that I never could have imagined they were struggling with, experiences that they’d had at home - things that affect their psyche and their confidence. There’s an opinion that people outside of Cambridge have of our students being elitist, indulged, spoilt brats who are given every opportunity and I think that’s a false impression of what students are like. My impression is that our students come from a variety of homes - just to say that someone was privately educated and has a wealthy family doesn’t mean to say that they have a good family life - so, sometimes it is heartbreaking.

Do you have any advice for anyone struggling with their mental health? Studying for a masters made me very aware of the pressure that students were under - I understand the feeling of being ‘inadequate’. The most important thing is to talk to anybody, somebody - it doesn’t matter who it is to start with, as long as it’s someone you trust because once you’ve opened up about the problem you will find that you’re never the only one who’s had that problem and there is support available. If you stay in your room, keeping it all inside, problems will multiply. Quite often students will come to me with something minor to talk about, but in fact it’s a test - they’re just testing the waters to see whether you’re the kind of person they can talk to. Just as they’re leaving they’ll stop at the door and say ‘ooh, actually there is something else…’ and I know it’s a test. In an ideal world I’d love to go for a walk with a student - maybe have tea, coffee, go to the botanical gardens - because

being outside, it’s much easier to talk and share things as opposed to feeling trapped, exposed, and vulnerable.

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What inspires you about working here?

The variety is what inspires me, and the enthusiasm of the students. When I first arrived I was completely intimidated by the traditional hierarchy and the beauty of the buildings and the fact that it’s quite hard to change things instantly (which I was used to) - so it took a year or so for me to really fit in and get a grip of what goes on at

Pembroke. I have been passionate about all of my jobs, but some have definitely been tougher than others. Working at Pembroke is a fantastic job; I have amazing variety, and no two days are the same. Of course, there are days when I feel a bit overwhelmed by the volume of work and the responsibility, and it definitely isn’t suited to someone who wants a 9-5 job, but I would never swap my job here. I do actually feel really proud to be part of the history of Pembroke College. You start off with a list of students and they’re all just names and faces - one of hundreds - and as the years go by you see them around Pembroke, the café, when they’re poorly, when they’re vulnerable... and you end up just loving them.

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Pembroke Plants #2


Anki Deo’s second plant column sees her take a trip to the University Botanic Garden. The Botanic Garden may be one of the most bucket-listed and least visited places in Cambridge. This plant columnist wants that to change! Ignore the Wildcats’ pleas to stick to the status quo and move your planned visit forwards from spring to autumn. In keeping with that old adage, “variety is the spice of life”, there is a glorious array of spices on display for you at this time of year: turmeric, smoked paprika, cinnamon and saffron-coloured leaves spread out in every direction. Grab a chai latte from Hot Numbers and head down to the end nearest the train station to season your senses with autumn.

The autumn garden within the gardens is specially planted to flourish around this time with a firework display of colour. The three Japanese acer trees, Palmatum acer ‘Osakazuki’, are currently in varying degrees of separation with chlorophyll. This has led to the most incredible variety of leaf colours all on the same tree, sometimes even transitioning from burgundy to yellow on the same leaf. Aubergine, chilli, banana, salmon, cherry: not foods I would like to eat together, but as colours make up the perfect ingredients list for a feast for the eyes. Don’t forget that the floor can be just as beautiful as the upper branches - though your feet may be freezing on these cold days, here they will, at least, be surrounded with warm colours

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Away from the autumn garden, there is still so much to see and appreciate if you are looking in the right places. Of course, the plants in the greenhouses are perennial and always worth looking at, but so are the array of pine trees outside in the new pinetum. You may think you know the humble pine tree, but in the run up to Christmas, stretch and challenge yourself with a visit to these newer varieties! As you make your way over, look out for trees decorated with googly-eyes and the grafted beech tree, beneath which, on a dry day, the crunching leaves underfoot and the dapples of sunlight invite unadulterated joy. When it comes to the flower beds, you may be tempted to feel disappointed; in the absence of colour, texture is key. Botanical gardens are like a museum of plants, with no disappointed guards to sternly tell you not to touch the glass or use the flash. Touch things tenderly (never damaging the plant or taking things away) and connect the senses of sight and touch - there are often surprises to be found in such synesthesia. Velvety lambs’ ears, ticklish pampas grass, and plump snow berries are just some of the tactile highlights currently on display. Admire the thoughtfulness in planting with regards to the height of different plants and the depth provided by rugs of different grasses. Making the most of your visit in these colder months means timing it carefully. A soggy, miserable day will never do this place justice, so make sure you choose a fresh day when your breath smokes - and bring mittens! The afternoon is a wonderful time to go, as this is when the light quality is at its softest and most diffused. It’s not known as the Golden Hour of photography for nothing – taking photographs is important, but make sure amongst all your snapping you take time to appreciate the small things. The real beauty of a place like the Botanical Gardens is that amongst the broad brushstrokes of an autumn palette, there are tiny, exquisite details to be found in the most unexpected places.

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“ The real beauty of a place like the Botanical Gardens is that amongst the broad brushstrokes of an autumn palette, there are tiny, exquisite details to be found in the most unexpected places.”


coming soon …


The Merits of Taking a Day Off Quintin Langley-Coleman dissects the advantages of taking a break, and discusses the importance of self-care. Let’s be plain. Cambridge is busy and we are busy in it, often snowed under with work that compels us to live subnivean half-lives. We are constantly encouraged to excel – to study more, to sport more, to sleep more – and so the idea of taking a whole day off each week might seem not only preposterous but impossible. The reasons for taking a day off are manifold, of which I have chosen five prominent reasons: religion, The Fallow Field of the Mind, guiltless enjoyment, the Important-Urgent Grid, and the Time Crunch Buffer Zone. Some people take a day off because their religion mandates such, and I am pleased to see some of my friends continue this practice despite the rigours of the Cambridge term. But, having probably lived all their lives in such a way, they have an advantage over those who need to calibrate themselves to the idea.

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The Fallow Field of the Mind refers to the fact that the mind needs some rest time in order to fully consolidate what it has learned. Like any muscle or crop field, it must be left alone for some time before we can put it to work again. Granted, we can do a lot of this resting while we are asleep, but I think most people do not sleep enough (or well enough) here anyway, and taking a deliberate day of restful consciousness does us oodles of good. This brings us onto the next point of guiltless enjoyment. There is and always will be the possibility of doing more work, of studying more books, of writing more essays, and of learning more vocabulary, and this leads us into the sinking grip of the Plague of Guilt – a plague that is solely an unreal product of our collective imaginations, but which seeps into our consciousness every time we go to the pub or have a cuppa when we suddenly remember some essay looming. However, if


IMPORTANT

NOT IMPORTANT

URGENT

1 . Immediate work

3 . Checking FB messages

NOT URGENT

2 . Food shopping, clipping toenails, talking to family

4 . Surfing the web, procrastination

you set aside one day a week where you promise yourself not to do any work, everything else you do becomes a joy and a pleasure – even doing nothing, which we all desire and need to do from time to time. You can explore the city, read a book for fun, or sit in nature, totally unhounded by any studyrelated worry. I have filled in some generic examples, but these will vary from person to person. The problem that afflicts many is that they misconflate what is urgent with what is important, and that is easy to do if your phone is constantly buzzing with idle demands and doldrum chatter. While I would suggest arranging your priorities in line with the numbers in brackets, this may not always be possible, and this is where the day off comes in, as it allows you a whole day to get down and gritty with those important, not urgent, and oft neglected tasks in group 2. Further to this, a day off can be a time for self-care, which might manifest as an exquisite bubblebath, or homestyle cooking, or shopping. Maybe even get around to writing that novel, make a gift for a friend, or take a trip outside ‘the bubble’ to freshen your mind’s horizons and give you a healthy spoonful of perspective. Our last reason is the Time Crunch Buffer Zone. If you plan your work to fill seven days, and illness strikes from the blue and renders you incapable of study for a day, your remaining days that week will be ugly and unpleasant indeed. But, if you plan for your

remaining days that week will be ugly and unpleasant indeed. But, if you plan for your work to fill six days, and illness strikes rendering you incapable of study, you shall face that day with neither fear nor trepidation. You will substitute your end of week free day for the sick day, thus allowing you to recover quickly, heartily, and guiltlessly, and proceed with your work-allotment for the week unchanged. Apropos practical implementation, all I can say is start now. Parkinson’s Law states “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”, so you’ll manage to squeeze your work into six days if you promise yourself to it. Other than this, all I can add is that one friend of mine takes their day off to begin at sunset on a Friday, thus allowing them total freedom on a Friday night to go wild, and have the leisure of a workless Saturday morning to look forward to in case recovery is needed. I hope that you come away from this article knowing that the ever-working Cantab stereotype is nothing but a phantom, and I readily encourage you to take a day off. It does not have to be once a week – once a fortnight or every three weeks is fine, so long as you do not renege on whatever you have promised to yourself.

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How to

Make Your College Room Feel Like a

Home AwayFrom Home By Emily Fish

Here at Pembroke Street, we’re all about the aesthetic. Can you blame us? We undoubtedly live in the prettiest college, so we spend every day surrounded by beauty, both natural and artificial. But we’re also all about anything cosy. Bring the two together and you have the perfect combination for creating a comfortable living space during the gruelling Cambridge terms. Look no further for a snapshot of how to mould your uniform college room into something that resembles a home…

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Fairy Lights Pillows and Blankets With winter already well upon us, and Pembroke’s heating leaving something to be desired, extra fodder for your bed is both aesthetically pleasing and practical. Stock up on patterned blankets and pillows to layer on top of block colour sheets which will create an organised mess look – and can also be thrown around you when it’s 11pm, 2 degrees outside, and you just want to feel some semblance of warmth so you can finish your essay.

The ultimate student room staple. Fairy lights are a terrible cliché, but this is unsurprising given the difference they can make to a room. Whether you want to make the room more ~atmospheric~, or simply get away from the piercing white light of college lamps, fairy lights are the perfect way to do it. Primark have a wide range of remarkably affordable, long-lasting options – so don’t worry about having to splash out at Urban Outfitters. If you’re feeling spicy, you can also add one of their LED table lamps to your basket, which come in a variety of shapes, from flamingos to cacti.

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Posters and Artwork

Photographs

There is nothing less homely than the barren white walls that greet you when you first arrive in your college room – posters and artwork are a simple fix to this problem. Like photographs, they can be put up on pinboards or hung up on portrait hooks, and they can be just about anything: band’s tour posters, your favourite piece of art in print, college event or theatre posters, friends or family’s artwork (especially younger siblings/ cousins/family friend’s awful but sweet scribbles). Anything is better than the desolate empty space of decoration-free walls.

Perhaps the most effective way of bringing home to uni with you. College rooms should all have some kind of pinboard on which you can use blutac, but cork boards are also widely available and easily hung from portrait hooks. Whether you want to show off your gap year by plastering photos of you with elephants all over your wall, or simply have family and friends smiling down at you, putting up pictures can be a great reminder of life outside of the bubble. Bonus edge points if you used a disposable camera or film.


A Tea Station Unless you are an exceptional individual who is capable of surviving without hot drinks (I’m looking at you, Geraint), then there is nothing better than your own personal tea station. Customise it with your choice of breakfast, green, or fruit teas, hot chocolates, and coffees, and snacks to go along with your hot beverages. As work loads get heavier, a well-stocked tea station can also be a lovely excuse to invite people round and get that wholly necessary social interaction that will make both you and your room feel much better.

One of the things I love about college rooms, controversial though it may be, is having to move out when term is over – it means that when you come after a vacation with a fresh eye and the results of holiday shopping you have the opportunity for a fresh take on decorating, and the ability to adjust your perception of what it is to be ‘home’.

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Profile:

Pembroke College

Memes for TroughLoving Teens

The mysterious (and anonymous) creators behind Pembroke College Memes for TroughLoving Teens speak to Pembroke Street about the meme phenomenon, and their newest endeavour, 2 Selwyn Gardens Memes for Bottom-Of-The-Ballot Teens.

Which Pembroke memes would you say are the most exceptional?
 We peaked with the logo. 
 
 What makes a good memetheme? 
 Not Pembroke College, as we soon discovered after running out of ideas in about two weeks. For submissions, they just have to make us laugh. Unfortunately, the two of us have exactly the same warped sense of humour, which ends up leaking onto the page. 
 
 How do you reject a meme submission? 
 It’s always best to do it in person. Try to avoid clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me”. Just be honest. Stand your ground and know that you’re doing what’s best for you right now.

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Any positive/negative feedback from staff?
 The staff don’t know who we are, but they’ve never tried to interfere; we don’t post things that are outright mean or offensive. The porters love us, though, except for Martyn. (If you’re reading this Martyn, please respond to our texts. We’ll make it up to you somehow.) 
 
 How many niche meme pages can our Facebook newsfeeds take? 
 From the way this question is phrased, it doesn’t sound like you’re going to be a huge fan of our next venture: ‘2 Selwyn Gardens Memes for Bottom-Of-The-Ballot Teens.’

“ You can’t just decide and make a meme. You don’t make memes, memes make you.” 
 Please could you comment on the irony of being ‘for Trough-Loving Teens’ when so many of your memes are critiques of Trough? Could you please comment on the irony of being called Pembroke Street when you’re demonstrably not a Street? In all seriousness though, we do love Trough - although we did once debate changing the name to Pembroke College Memes for TroughSceptic Teens in the wake of some particularly fruity chicken.
 
 And finally, how will you appoint a successor to manage the page once you have graduated? 
 Send us in some smokin-hot spicy submissions and you may just find out...

EXCLUSIVE INSIGHT: Two prominent contributors to Pembroke’s meme page tell us their top meme-making tips. Ben Mortishire-Smith: Making a decent meme requires creativity and patience. You can't force it - if you have a format in mind, you have to keep an eye out for the right opportunity. We have a team of dedicated meme-ers working 24/7, keeping up with college gossip and abusing their Microsoft Paint skills, in order to deliver the rarest, freshest and spiciest pieces to our audience, as soon as inspiration strikes. Andrei Kanavalau: You can’t just decide and make a meme. You don’t make memes, memes make you. 
 Patience you must have, and meme magic will come.

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Cambridge’s

Best Bridges by Andrew Jameson

illustrations by Dan Wakefield

They span our lives. They span boundaries. They span eternity. I am, of course, talking about bridges. The bridge: an intrinsic part of Cambridge. And so that is why I have taken it upon myself to give you what you truly want, to feed that thus far unrealised hunger, to scratch that ever-present itch. I present an arbitrary review of a few of Cambridge’s bridges. A perfect marriage, you might say, between two of the most mainstream trends: reviews and bridges. Using a particularly truss-worthy and scientific ranking system, we may very well find the best bridge in Cambridge – which is definitely an important and worthwhile thing to find out. But I’ll not delay a moment longer as I know the suspension is probably too much to bear.

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We shall start our journey with the Queens’ Mathematical Bridge, or the Wooden Bridge as it’s officially and more creatively called. However, it’s maybe this particularly catchy name that captures the bridge’s true essence. Underwhelming. Because while it may masquerade as a great mathematical monument, the tale that Isaac Newton originally built it without any nuts or bolts is sadly a myth – and, as if to add insult to injury, the bolts are particularly noticeable. While the timbers are arranged in a series of tangents that describe the arc of the bridge, with radial members to tie the tangents together and triangulate the structure*, it’s just not that impressive to be honest. Plus, I didn’t really like the matting.

Bridge Rating: 4.2 / Some very impressive maths (* Ref. That reliable fount of knowledge, Wikipedia)

Next, was the King’s College Bridge. A rather run-of-the-bridge type bridge that does its job in a solid, wellintentioned way but does little else. Its architectural design is hardly extravagant (as unusual as that may be for King’s) and while I would include some zany story about its past, there is disappointingly little. However, what it lacks in style and history, it more than makes up for in cows. Some may argue that cows are not a valid part of a bridge. And they would probably have a point there. Bridge Rating: 6.6 / Completely relevant farmyard animals

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The Bridge of Sighs shares its name with a bridge in Venice and another in Oxford – although the latter doesn’t even cross water so we won’t consider that any further. The bridge is also the poster child of Cambridge’s bridges, yet it is unlike any of the others already covered in this article in that it is itself covered. This adds to the general Hogwarts ambiance (something that, I know, you’ll be lacking in Cambridge) and makes a very pleasant bridge-crossing experience. This bridge does, however, question what we truly mean by a ‘bridge’ – could this instead be considered a room, a corridor, a passage? Does it suggest some intrinsic problem within a language that not merely labels something as a ‘bridge’ but places that ‘bridge’ at the forefront of the label when it is clearly a far more complex situation? And might ‘sighs’ itself also contain a comment about this very complexity? *Sigh* In other news, apparently students have dangled a car below the bridge on two separate occasions – oh, those crazy Cambridge antics. Bridge Rating: 8.1 / The elusive liminality between exterior and interior, between bridge and passage, between name and meaning

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Having been denied access to Clare on the first attempt (it’s almost as if they don’t want their bridge to feature in this journalistic masterpiece…), I shall attempt to maintain my professional impartiality for the course of this review. The Clare College Bridge was built in 1640, making it the oldest of Cambridge’s current bridges, yet despite its age it still maintains its looks. Like the Mathematical Bridge, it also has some of its own mythology surrounding an incomplete globe on the south side of the bridge. Some say that a segment was taken by a builder who was not paid in full, others that it was taken by a college fellow as a part of a bet while yet more say that the globe was left incomplete to avoid paying a ‘bridge tax’. In reality, it probably just fell into the river due to weathering after a repair job. Yeah, disappointing. Other than that, it’s a pretty well rounded bridge. Bridge Rating: 8.15 / Underwhelming mythology

The Trinity College Bridge takes the well-functioning principle of the King’s Bridge and adds some much-needed aesthetic delight. The three graceful arches, which curve above the water, pleasingly compliment the surrounding views of Trinity. That being said, the somewhat scruffy tarmac and invasive moss would imply some definite maintenance is needed. I did also note that it is quite a flat bridge, and while I appreciate this may verge into personal indulgence, I do prefer a more defined arc to my bridges. Bridge Rating: 7.3 / Some good oldfashioned, good old-fashioned design

I would have loved to include every bridge in this review, yet sadly the article had to be abridged. Maybe in the future we could have an ultimate review – but I suppose, we’ll just have to cross that bridge if we come to it. However, I did promise you that we would find the best bridge in Cambridge and I will keep that promise because, while I did see many a valiant bridge over the course of this mammoth odyssey, there is one that arches above the rest. The greatest bridge of them all. The bridge that connects us all. That bridge is Cambridge. (Or, maybe Clare or something, I quite liked that one…)

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The Weird and Wonderful History of Pembroke by Katy Bennett Eight weeks in Cambridge can feel like a lifetime, so imagine how Pembroke must feel after nearly seven centuries. I for one can’t imagine how it must feel to have gone through Week Five blues almost 2000 times. But thankfully Pembroke’s history is more than just academics, so here are a few myths and happenings from the past…

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Mad, bad and dangerous to know? It seems that the stress of Cambridge took such a toll on poet Christopher Smart that he was sent to a lunatic asylum for six years in the 1700s, with only his cat Jeoffry for company. According to Wikipedia (a trusted historical source), Jeoffry is the ‘most famous cat in the whole history of English literature,’ thanks to a poem Smart wrote about him while living in the asylum. For cat-lovers and English students alike, this is a great claim to fame. More recently, Smart was commemorated in the form of a college cat named Kit Smart, who lived in Pembroke from 1996–2012.

Was it a disgruntled exmember of the debating society? Or one of the myriad of tragically deceased alumni? A perhaps equally unfortunate individual was Matthew Wren, a Pembroke fellow, who was imprisoned in the Tower of London for nearly two decades during the English Civil War in the seventeenth century. So desperate to be released, he promised to pay for something “holy and pious” if he were set free...which turned out to be the Pembroke College chapel. He and his nephew, Christopher Wren, built it in 1665 as Wren’s first architectural project. So In a roundabout way, Pembroke has the Civil War to thank for its chapel! On a more Christmassy note, Pembroke celebrates its 670th birthday this Christmas eve! If only Bridgemas Eve were a thing. In 1743 the college mistakenly celebrated its 400th anniversary four years too early - even a poem was written for the occasion! Even though 670 is not a milestone per se, it seems a year worthy of a special poem too.

illustrations by Phoebe Flatau

Is Pembroke haunted? The myth of the ‘Ivy Court ghost’ has haunted Pembroke since it was first spotted in 1911 by two members of the Cambridge debating society. The society then gathered and wrote a report on their experiences, entitled ‘College Apparitions’, attempting to find out the identity of the ghost. Was it a disgruntled ex-member of the debating society? Or one of the myriad of tragically deceased alumni? After all, Pembroke has had its fair share of unfortunate deaths. Master Nicholas Ridley, for example, was tragically burnt at the stake in 1555 by Catholic Queen Mary for his support of Protestant Lady Jane Grey. On a lighter note, another potential ghost is sixteenth-century student Anthony Girlington, who is recorded to have died in college ‘from eating too many custards’. There are worse ways to go, and I’m sure many current students would agree that this particular fate could happen to any one of us. We will probably never know the identity of the ghost, especially because it ghost has not been sighted for over 100 years - although current students might be advised to take care when walking through Ivy Court late on a Friday night...

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The Pembroke Street

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