Pembroke Street Michaelmas 2017 Issue 5 - The Fresher Issue

PEMBROKE STREET

TheFresher’s Issue Michaelmas 2017

Issue 5

CONTENTS Meet the Team 4 Tales from the Pembroke Grapevine 6 A Pembroke Fresher’s Survival Guide 10 Lessons from the BOP School of Life 16 Help! It’s Fresher’s Week but I hate going out 22 Feminism at Cambridge 28

illustration by Phoebe Flatau

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Hopefully this issue will make lighter reading than our last issue - we’re going for ‘entertainment’ over ‘thought-provoking’ this time…

And although we’ve made this one primarily for the benefit of incoming freshers, it should be just as amusing for the rest of you. Inside, you’ll find ‘Lessons From the Bop School of Life’ featuring a few rather questionable photos from bops past compiled by Tasha May, as well as some serious investigative journalism by Dísa Greaves in the form of ‘Tales from the Pembroke Grapevine’, there to fill you in on some college-based gossip that’s as salacious as Pembroke Street is ever going to get.

In addition, you’ll find tips for surviving freshers’ week by Emily Fish, a few suggestions of activities for people who don’t like clubbing (hello week five), and an introduction to feminism at Cambridge from our very own Women’s Welfare Officer, Belén Bale.

In terms of takeaways, we can probably agree at this point that ‘freshers’ week’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be especially if you’re one of the lucky ones who got set an essay three days in. But we’ve tried to present it as honestly as possible, the good (bops), the bad (hangovers), and the ugly (being in a new place where you don’t know anyone and want to hide under your duvet for the next eight weeks).

And despite having a crammed timetable of organised activities to get through, what your lasting memories and friendships from the week end up being is entirely down to you. Even if you find that most of your evenings are spent on someone else’s bedroom floor playing Cards Against Humanity with people you’ve never met, standing in your gyp discussing German politics with your new neighbours, or making the most of Cambridge’s (terrible) clubs for seven consecutive nights of the week (not advised) - you’re doing it right if you’re having fun.

Welcome to Issue 5

TheFresher’s Edition

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Bel

Ba

Bel is the JPC Women’s Welfare Officer and on the Pembroke Street editorial team. She’s a second year HSPS student who thinks that ‘nothing is better for the soul than a good supervision, not even avocado toast’.

Phoebe F

Phoebe is the Creative Director of Pembroke Street, and is also a very edgy second year architecture student.

latau

le

Meet

a y a r A e t t o l Char d n a l e r Mo Charlotte is a second year historian and editor of Pembroke Street. Send any questions, feedback or submissions to her at ca478@cam.ac.uk

Amy is a second year architecture student, and, like Phoebe, is also very edgy. She illustrates Pembroke Street.

Lizzy O’Brien

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Lizzy is a third year chemistry student and illustrates Pembroke Street. She is pictured here at a Christmas bop.

eh T y m A

h s i F y l i Em Emily Fish (pictured right, in a coat, on the floor) is a second year Engling and on the Pembroke Street editorial team. She has an extensive CamDram profile and is expert in all things thesp.

t the Team

Say hello to the people bringing you the freshers’ issue of Pembroke Street, featuring long-forgotten (and some rather terrible) snaps of us as freshers.

Tim Lee

a Gr eav

es

Tim is a third year physicist and is the Pembroke Street Treasurer, in charge of all things financial.

Dis

Tasha May is the JPC Internationals Officer, a second year Engling, and on the editorial team. She writes on a variety of subjects, most prominently, though, on food (hence the photo of her holding up Van of Life chips) - see the website for past instalments of ‘Tasha Tries’.

Tasha May

Dísa is a second year Land Economist and is halfIcelandic. She’s part of the editorial team and updates the website, and is pictured here holding a bottle of Prosecco.

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Tales from the Pembroke Grapevine Dísa Greaves gives you the lowdown on staircase gossip (all PG-rated, of course) and introduces a few celebs who have graced Pem with their presence #fame Many tales can be heard along the Pembroke grapevine, some of which are - granted - taller than others... But nevertheless, we at Pembroke Street are determined to get you in the know on our college’s trivia, whispers and gossip!

Through the ages, the college has been home to a vast array of Valencians, with some gaining notoriety from their time in college and others claiming post-Pem fame through their professional lives...

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Going back to the 1950s, Pembroke had Britain’s former poet laureate, Ted Hughes, in residence. He is said to have frequented the Mill pub at the end of Mill Lane, and if you happen to be living in Red Buildings room H1, Old Master’s Lodge room N8b or finally in the beautiful scholar’s room E1 in Old Court then you are on the right track to becoming Hughes 2.0 (but who’s to say whether that’s a good or bad thing…)

A little later in the sixties, Eric Idle, of Monty Python fame, became a Valencian. E staircase seems to be where all stars started out, as rumour has it that the Pythons formed along that very corridor. This is not an unlikely scenario, seeing as John Cleese and Graham Chapman were also at Cambridge at this time. Idle went on to become president of the Footlights and was the first to admit women into the group!

Tom Hiddleston (swoons) has ascended to A-list fame over the last few years, thanks to his role in hitshow The Night Manager, being in the short-lived ‘Hiddleswift’ relationship AND just happening to be a Pem Classicist! He is believed to have had a room in M staircase in the late nineties, and went on to have a scholar’s room in Foundress. He was clearly quite the hard worker, becoming a successful thespian and graduating with a double-first.

This comes after some speculation that Hiddleston resided in W in Orchard, which an actual resident of the time has denied. Instead, there was (allegedly) a homeless man occupying the bath between W/V. While homelessness in Cambridge still remains a huge issue for the city, and is the focus of much charity work

by Cambridge students, this particular occupant has since moved out…

More recently, we had Joe Thomas (The Inbetweeners and Fresh Meat), who, like Eric Idle, also met his future collaborators at Cambridge. Both went on to achieve immense comedic success but of different generations.

From one we gained the Ode to Henry Kissinger, and from the other, the garish yellow ‘Muff Wagon’ and ‘bus wankers’ (which, of course, none of you will be, seeing as Pembroke is located in the centre of Cambridge woo!).

Just three years ago, Skandar Keynes graduated from Pembroke with a degree in Arabic and Middle Eastern History - and is basically Cambridge dynastic royalty. His great-greatgreat-grandfather was none other than naturalist Charles Darwin, his great-great uncle was the economist and icon, John Maynard Keynes, not

… none of you will, of course, be ‘bus wankers’ to mention two more uncles being Cambridge dons. Oh, and he played Edmund Pevensie in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe so was actual royalty in the country of Narnia…

These are just a few trivial gems from the treasure-trove of Pembroke gossip and who knows, maybe future students will be writing about your antics in the years to come!

illustration by Phoebe Flatau

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illustration by Phoebe Flatau

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1. Make the most of all the free stuff If, like me, you love anything that’s complimentary, fresher’s week is a little slice of heaven. Free things are everywhere, from champagne at the Dean’s drinks reception to food samples at the Fresher’s fair. Pick up every free bag of sweets and every pizza voucher that you walk past - you’ll thank yourself when it gets to the middle of term and you need some comfort food just to keep you going (and you might even be grateful that you signed up to some societies, even if it was only so you could take the free Celebrations on offer).

2. Don’t get freaked out when people start speaking in Latin

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Cambridge is, and always will be, a strange yet wonderful place. When I tell my friends back up north about wearing a gown, going to formals, and having to sign a huge, ancient book with a fancy silver pen to officiate myself into the university, they think it’s really weird. And it is. But it’s also pretty fun, and in fresher’s week you’ll experience some of the ridiculous Cambridge traditions for the first time. Just don’t get too confused when the Master says grace in Latin before dinner - the novelty of that will never wear off, so make the most of it!

A Pembroke Fresher Survival Guide Emily Fish gives you the lowdown on the dos and don’ts of Pembroke freshers’ week, from free champagne, to the social scene and keeping your neighbours happy.

illustrations by Amy Teh

If you’re anything like me, you’ll have prepared for your first term at university by spending months trawling the internet, reading every Student Room thread and fresher’s advice article - all in the vain hope that you’ll be ready for anything fresher’s week throws at you. Or maybe you’re just here because this seems like an almost productive method of procrastination to avoid your reading list. Either way, hopefully these seven simple pieces of advice will help to make your first week a little easier.

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3. Try not to dwell too long on the things you say and do So, you’re nervous. You’re in a new environment, with new people, and everything is a little bit alien. Inevitably, you’re going to say or do some things that you’ll regret. It might be sleeping with someone in your college family, or trying to hold your own in a conversation on something you know nothing about, from last season’s Bake Off to the migration patterns of buzzards. But everyone does embarrassing things under pressure, and I can guarantee that, soon enough, you’ll be laughing at the fact that you thought you were going to be sent down because you accidentally woke up the Dean at 3am on your way home from Cindies...

4. Always have your door open As far as cliche articles telling you how to survive fresher’s week go, this is the most cliche I’m gonna get. But it has a ring of truth to it. It doesn’t have to be taken literally to be successful (mainly because the porters aren’t the biggest fans of doorstops); it can be as simple as inviting your neighbours over for a cup of tea, or offering someone paracetamol if they’re looking a bit rough around the edges. It can involve as little or as much actual socialising as suits you. More than anything, it’s about creating a pleasant, friendly environment - because you’re going to be living with these people for the rest of the year.

5. Make sure your cupboard is well stocked Behind every successful fresher is a cupboard full of all the emergency resources that they might possibly need. This includes everything from tea bags and snacks, to condoms and Berocca. Even though Sainsbury’s is but a short walk away, there’s nothing worse than being cosy in your pyjamas with your tea brewing before realising you have no milk, or waking up with a cracking headache and having to leave your room to find a cure.

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6. Don’t be afraid to say yes...

Saying ‘yes’, especially to things you might not usually, can seem like a deadset way to create the embarrassing situations you want to avoid. And it’s true. Agreeing to try rowing for the first time can make you realise how hideously uncoordinated you really are; attending collage soc can make you realise that you’re just not that ~wavy~. But, as cheesy as it sounds, you might also find yourself trying a new activity that you didn’t even know existed, let alone whether you would enjoy it.

Discovering the things that you love and don’t love is a huge part of university life, and fresher’s week is the best - and easiest - place to start.

7. … but don’t be afraid to say no.

As tempting as it might be to try and fit everything into your fresher’s week schedule, particularly for the natural-born extroverts and socialites amongst you, it isn’t necessarily a good idea. It might simply be that you hate the thought of going on a pub crawl, in which case saying ‘no’ in favour of something else is completely valid. Just because there’s a real hype around constant inebriation during fresher’s week doesn’t mean you have to join in if it isn’t your thing.

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But even if drinking and clubbing are activities you enjoy, other aspects of fresher’s week, like your Director of Studies and Tutor meetings, consent workshops, and sleep, are equally as important as socialising. Being told that maybe you should try getting in a solid eight hours of rest instead of succeeding in your bid for a week-long streak of going out might not be the advice you want to hear, but - take it from someone who spent most of first year ignoring their wellbeing and then had to suffer the consequences - listening to your body and looking after yourself should be your top priority. When you get set your first essay, lectures start, and work really sets in, you might be glad you took the time to nurse your fresher’s flu…

Lessons from the

BOP School of Life Dear Freshers, Bop is always a memorable bookend to each term – unless of course you drink one too many boptails and the whole night is a blur. Consider the following ghosts of bops past as an introductory taster of what bop is like, an indication of the level of blood, sweat and tears that go into making bop costumes (sarcasm warning), and reflect upon the cautionary tales these images tell before you embark upon your first bop.

All the best x

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Don’t let anyone cramp your style on the

dance floor.

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…But at the same time respect other

people’s personal space

You might make decisions you

regret.

(Disclaimer: only

fake tattoos available at bop)

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DIY costumes are encouraged and most definitely the norm.

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r

Brunch the next day will most definitely help

you recover

from the night.

8

step outside

Pro tip: bring your own banana to add to chocolate sauce covered pancakes.

of

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nt

WARNING: Flashes of memory from your night may make you embarrassed to show your face at brunch, but don’t worry everyone else is probably feeling the same way and you can use the pancakes to mop up the leftover alcohol AND any feelings of humiliation.

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a freshers’ week palette

boptail

shoes after bop

matriculation

the library

brunch the morning after bop

cindies

cheesy chips

smoking area of life

new bike

fresher’s picnic

morning after complexion

flustered

punting

fitzbillies with parents

the maypole

formal

fresher’s flew

sport trial

hot numbers

curry king

8 AM lecture

berocca

facebook event

sainsbury’s basics

textbook page

by Phoebe Flatau

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H EL P !

It’s freshers’ week but I hate going out…

Going out and getting smashed is, for many, a fundamental part of the fresher experience.

But hitting the sesh multiple times a week isn’t everyone’s calling, and nowhere is this more understandable than in Cambridge, where all four clubs are indisputably crap.

So if clubbing isn't your cup of tea/other nonalcoholic beverage, then here is a run-down of a few other evening activities on offer in Pembroke, from Week One to the end of term.

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College bar Pembroke’s JP and bar hasn’t exactly been a ‘social hub’ for a some years, but thanks to a recent revamp over summer (and the excitement of freshers’ week, of course) more people will be milling around there than usual.

Drinks are very decently priced (including nonalcoholic beverages), and include a few novelties such as college mead and port.

BOP The freshers’ bop is always the best-attended of the year, and is good as a final ice-breaker after all the other events in freshers’ week. It’s a completely safe environment, being just a few steps from your room, and you’ll be surrounded by the new friends you’ve made, your college family and the on-duty JPC officers. There’s a welfare room, chlamydia testing and free contraception available, should you wish to avail yourself of these services.

As well as being great fun (think massive house party vibes), the JP will get so steamy (literally and non-literally) that condensation collects on the walls.

Theatre The Pembroke Players (run by Pembroke students, unsurprisingly), normally have shows on every week, and there are plenty of opportunities to get involved as a fresher, from being in the audience to writing the Freshers’ Panto, to acting in the freshers’ play. Keep an eye on their website and Facebook page for more info.

Pub Cambridge pubs are notoriously expensive, so don’t go in expecting to buy a round for a massive group of friends. However, they’re wonderful places for conversation and getting to know people away from the, sometimes, claustrophobic environment of college.

The Mill one minute walk from front gate, rather pricey but has a lovely, cosy atmosphere

The Eagle four minute walk, also rather pricey, gets very warm, and can be difficult to find a seat

The Maypole ten-twelve minute walk, the most expensive pub in Cambridge but does excellent mulled cider and has a nice outdoor area with heaters.

Spoons three minute walk from back gate, very cheap and a nice, familiar environment - but avoid on Fridays #dangerspoons

Write for Pembroke Street A shameless plug for the best college magazine in Cambridge - email ca478@cam.ac.uk or message us on Facebook if you’re interested in getting involved!

As well as being hugely fun, being able to show that you’ve had writing published is a great foot in the door for aspiring journos applying for the big university-wide publications (The Tab, Varsity and The Cambridge Student). We’re also always on the look-out for photography and drawings!

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Extensive as this list ma exhaustive - Pembroke of activities (croquet, anyon more…not to mention the hu the univ

Be assured that you can find do than getting trashed ever the sake of balance, getting only you take the tim

ay seem, it is in no way ffers a myriad of sporting e?), committee roles and undreds of societies across versity.

d a hundred better things to ry Wednesday (although for trashed is also quite fun), if me to look for them.

Other clubs and societies in college Pembroke has a pretty eclectic range of clubs, meaning there is generally something on for everyone who feels like having a good night in. From board games club to darts to collaging, you can find everything on the JPC website and the Pembroke Exchange page on Facebook.

For example, last year saw the establishment of the very welcome ‘Pie Society’ (members gather together to eat pies), as well as the ongoing success of much-loved ‘Collage Soc’ (literally just sitting around a table, making collages #wavey).

The Pembroke Politics Society (known as ‘Pem Pol’) is quite active in inviting interesting speakers in, and Master’s Seminars are always interesting to attend last year saw guests such as Sir John Chilcot.

You’ll also see the beginnings this term of a college feminist society running safe-space meetings for women and non-binary students, and the newly active Pembroke History Society.

Work If excitement and entertainment aren't your forte, you could spend all night working in Pembroke’s 24-hour computer room and depriving yourself of healthy vitamin D, since it’s located underground in Foundress (some people genuinely do).

Alternatively, (and if you want to taste the wrath of other college’s porters) you could sneak into Downing’s library, open till 2am, or Corpus’s, which is open round the clock.

We are absolutely not endorsing or encouraging this behaviour, of course - there’s a reason Pembroke’s library shuts at midnight. Remember that you’re here to enjoy yourself and have fun, which means knowing when to put the books down and allowing yourself some leisure time.

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ISSUE 4

PEMBROKE

Easter 2017

STREET

home .

Issue 2 - Lent 2017

Visit our Website VIPem

Tasha Tries www.pembrokestreetmagazine.com

De-stressing on a he Price of Education budget Image and Reality

Modern Day Fairytale

MY PEMBROKE

Home in Absenc

PCWAFC

An American Wednesday

Tumblr Feminism’

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Selection of Poems

Lord Chris Smith Power Portraits Setting the Stage

Overheard at Pembroke

illustration by Amy Teh 27.

Feminism at Cambridge an introduction

JPC Women’s Welfare Officer Belén Bale tells us why we should all be feminists.

As a fresher, you will soon find that the stereotype of Cambridge being a place steeped in tradition is a reality that is alive and kicking.

Wearing gowns down King’s Parade isn’t seen as out of place, drinking port is positively encouraged, and a mumbled Latin grace is still spoken before every Pembroke formal. But the stereotypes aren’t always so harmlessly kitsch. Women of colour take up places here in shockingly small numbers (despite recent incremental improvements), and some college drinking societies still attempt to make sharking (sexually predatory behaviour towards first years) an unwelcome worry for female and non-binary freshers.

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That said, it is without doubt that our university is becoming a more inclusive and balanced institution.

Caius has just appointed its first female Master, just over a year after Peterhouse. And then there’s the students - the stereotype of the King’s socialist is now less particular to our most famous college as it is the whole university.

With every new cohort of students matriculated, we are becoming the most determined, forward thinking, and (above all) equality-driven group of undergraduates that Cambridge has had to date. And if you aren’t already all of these things, you will become them here.

illustration by Phoebe Flatau

even in your first year? Your position, your views, your very existence at this college and at this university is helping to win an ongoing battle that has been going on for centuries. You are both lucky to be here, and deserve to be here, even if at times you have to remind both yourself and other people of that fact (even if it is now three times harder to get onto Love Island as into Cambridge, but I digress).

If you need a bit more convincing, then here are some facts. Our university was founded in 1207, but women have only been permitted to study here since 1869. Their degrees became as equally valid as everyone else’s in 1948. Kings, Clare and Churchill only took in women in 1972... and our college, Pembroke, only did so in 1984. That’s 33 years.

Pembroke became co-ed the year Khloe Kardashian was born. Shall I let that sink in?

Why do I sound so certain? The answer is simply because you must.

Its no secret that being at Oxbridge gives you a level of privilege higher than other universities in terms of career prospects and quality of education. While you will spend time discussing the obviously elitist bases for this, there’s no getting away from the fact that you applied here. And now you’ve got here, you might as well use what power you have to affect the world around you in a positive and long-lasting way.

Whether you identify as female, are non-binary, or are someone who is a feminist and supports the fight towards gender equality - you’re now also a Cambridge student. Do you know how much power you have,

And despite progress for women and non-binary people in the wider world since 1869, the struggle is by no means over. The gender pay gap, political representation (particularly for women of colour) and equality of opportunity in careers are all still controversial topics across the world - not least in the UK, where only 32% of MPs are women.

If anyone tells you that being a feminist is no longer relevant, remind them that 62 million girls, globally, are still out of education. If you’ve broken tradition that was previously thought as controversial just 33 years ago, and unbreakable 148 years ago, then you have that obligation to break it for everyone.

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If you’d like to write for the next issue, then email ca478@cam.ac.uk with some ideas, or drop us a line on Facebook. Absolutely no prior experience is required, just enthusiasm and the ability to write!

We’ll be recruiting onto the team later into the term, so keep an eye on your emails!

If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to contact us via email or on Facebook 30.

Get involved with

Pembroke Street There’s loads of ways to get involved with the magazine, from submitting an article, sending in some drawings or photography, or joining the team.

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