Cherished Magazine May/June 2018

May/June 2018

Prayer Keeping It REAL

Emotional Benefits of a Bullet Journal

Never

Alone Ordinary Graces

Cancel ing Your Subscription to WorryFl ix

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features Cancel ing Your

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Subscription to WorryFl ix

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14 An int erview wit h Tiffany Bl uhm, Aut hor of

45 Never Alone: E m o tio na l B e ne fits 30 Exchanging Your of a Tender Hurts for God?s Healing Bullet Journal Grace 2 | May/ June 2018

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I'm so glad you are here lovely lady!

Hearing your positive comments about Cherished Magazine have really opened my heart to do something again . . . .

Have you ever walked through difficult times and it just took everything in you to just make it through the day you are in? Well, I have. I stopped reaching out to people, stopped my social activities, I stopped journaling and writing and stopped dreaming.

As I dust off my journal and write, it is freeing myself to dream again. I encourage you, amazing lady, to get a journal or notebook and dream.

May/ June 2018

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By Grow Bloom Inspire Co Editor in Chief Sheryl Siler Advertising Adam Siler Contributing Writers Barb Roose Lucinda Secrest Williams Krystal Chenault

Views expressed in CherishedMagazine do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the staff to ensure accuracy of the publication content. We do not guarantee the absence of errors or omissions. No responsibility can be assumed. Š CherishedMagazine.

Š GrowBloomInspire Co

All rights reserved.

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Cancel ing Your Subscription to

WorryFl ix

By Barb Roose Whenever I get bored, it?s really easy for me to pull up one of my streaming subscription services and watch an entire season of some show all at once.

On streaming media, there always something to watch, and I don?t have to work that hard to watch it.

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I?ve realized my worry battle was a lot like streaming media.

There was always something for me to worry about, and I didn?t have to work at worrying because one worry naturally followed another.

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Then, it occurred to me that my worrying worked a lot like my streaming media.

So, I began to refer to my worrying as watching ?WorryFlix.?

WorryFlix movies are those mental movies that I create in mind when I?m anxious about uncertainty in my life.

What if my kids get into an accident?

What if my struggles?

marriage

What if we aren?t financially secure in the future?

When we?re not sure about the future, our mind will

May/ June 2018

make up a story or movie that reflects our fears coming true.

Like a Hallmark Christmas movie, once you start watching WorryFlix in your mind, it?s hard to stop.

But, unlike a Hallmark movie, there are no happy endings on my WorryFlix channel. The only two endings are bad and sad.

For example, when my kids were born, my WorryFlix mental movies ran non-stop about my kids suffocating in their cribs.

Can you relate to that one?

That movie ran through my mind non-stop, and I lost

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so much sleep, even though my babies slept peacefully in their bassinets.

When my kids got older and began playing outside, my WorryFlix mental movies ran episode after episode of them getting kidnapped.

During those mental movies, I saw myself running barefoot down the street after the car driving away with my child, but I couldn?t stop them.

As a result, I only let my kids play in the backyard, never in the front yard alone.

Just the thought of my kids getting their driver?s

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licenses would start a WorryFlix movie in my mind.

I think that I?ve had some Oscar-worthy performances in a few of those mental movies.

How many times did I imagine my kids driving and getting into car accidents?

And those mental movies seemed so real!

I could feel my heart racing as I ran toward the accident scene. Real tears flowed down my face as I saw myself screaming. I could see the police officers holding me back

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as the paramedics worked to save my dying child.

What kind of WorryFlix movies have you been watching lately?

Are you tired of those horrible mental movies and their affect on your life?

WorryFlix steals the best and precious moments of

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our lives, but it doesn?t have to be that way.

Are you ready to stop watching WorryFlix and allow God to cancel your subscription? continued page 10

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Herearet hreet hings t hat wemust do in order t o cancel WorryFl ix and al l ow God t o giveus vict ory over worry in our l ives: Remember God?s promises Grab your Bible and look up the verses that testify to God?s peace and provision. If you need a few verses, use these: Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 6:33, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Psalm 29:11.

Remember God is al ways with you!

Whenever we watch WorryFlix, God is usually not a part of our tragic storyline. But, your WorryFlix can flip over to FaithFlix when you add God to your story. Whenever your worry, invite God into the storyline by saying, ?God, I know that You are here and I am not alone. I don?t have to be afraid!? Romans 8:39 reminds us that there is nothing we will face in life that God cannot overcome 10 | May/ June 2018

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God wil l give you the strength to endure.

In our WorryFlix movies, we see ourselves as victims and helpless, which is the opposite of God?s promises to us.

1 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) tells us: ?For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.? Trying to imagine your situation and see yourself living out God?s promises even in the midst of your struggle. See yourself walking by God?s promises and trusting in God?s provision.

Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about connecting women to one another and to God. Her goal is to equip women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Roose enjoys teaching and encouraging women at conferences and events across the country and abroad. Her latest book is Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua along with the companion Bible study.

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Get t he Book!

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Cl ick Her e May/ June 2018

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Excerpted with permission from Ordinary Graces: Word Gifts for Any Season by Lucinda Secrest Williams (Abingdon Press).

Fr o m s ec t i o N 3 - Gr a c e ? c o mp a r i n g ?

Isn?t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what?s the point of all this comparing and competing? You already have all you need. ~ 1 Corinthians 4:7 MSG ? Ephesians 3:12 NLT - ?I can?t believe the Joneses are vacationing in Europe, and we can?t even get to the beach.?

- ?Why did she get a book contract when I?ve been writing longer than she has??

- ?I sent the steering committee my rĂŠsumĂŠ, but they chose a younger person with less experience.?

Do n ?t d o i t , f r i en d .

Co mp a r e. Co mp et e.

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Because it is simply a dead end. Personally. Professionally.

Spiritually.

Go d h a s c a l l ed y o u t o f o l l o w H i m, g l o r i f y H i m, a n d f u r t h er H i s k in gdo m t h r o u gh y o u r o w n u n i q u e s t o r y . N o t h er s .

Can you trust Him for that? A chance to live out the grace you received as a free gift? Paul reminds us today, ?Isn?t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God??

We were created, redeemed, and sustained so that we may live our unique stories? yes, with all the mess, mistakes, meanderings, and even miracles. Those who need to know us will be put in our path by a sovereign God.

H er s u c c es s d o es n o t mea n my f a i l u r e.

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A few years ago, Tracie was thrilled to be invited to speak at a large women?s conference. But as she sat in the hotel lobby and observed the other speakers, her confidence began to slip away. ?I began wondering whether the other speakers were more experienced than I was, if their messages would be more encouraging than mine, . . . if they were more successful in their ministries, if the attendees would like them better, on and on it went. As I compared myself to these women, my mind was filled with thoughts of insecurity and inferiority.?

Ev er y t i me w e c o mp a r e o u r s el v es w i t h s o meo n e el s e, w e a r e i n d a n g er o f b el i ev i n g t h e l i e o f r ej ec t i o n ? t h a t o u r o w n l i v es a r e n o t i mp o r t a n t .

Did you think you were the only insecure person around?

Everyone suffers from comparison. ?So much of our own unhappiness is rooted in assuming that someone else is living the happy life we want. The person you?re measuring your life up against? She is measuring her life against someone else?s. And someone is comparing herself to you!

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It?s a whole cycle of comparison that doesn?t end until someone says enough is enough.?

Okay, I?ll say it: ?Enough is enough!?

H er e?s h o w I f i g h t t h e c o mp a r i s o n b a t t l e:

I t rul y bel ieve t hat I am l oved and chosen by God.

I obey what He is cal l ing me t o do and be.

I encourage, promot e, and l if t up ot hers. I go f irst .

I pray to be a generous and grace-filled person.

You were not created to be her. Isn?t that a relief? Now, go forth and become the very best version of yourself, by God?s grace.

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My child, I planned you long ago. You are the unique creation I love and desire to help bring the kingdom of heaven here on earth. Yes, with all of you that is still ?in process.?With that hidden strength and blossoming wisdom. So, child, don?t ache to be like her. She has her own story, and it is not yours. Be you.

Lucinda Secrest McDowel l is the author of 13 books including Ordinary Graces: Word Gifts for Any Season and Dwelling Places: Words to Live in Every Season, has contributed to an additional 30 books, and has been published in more than 50 magazines.

A graduate of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and Furman University, she speaks internationally through her ministry ?Encouraging Words.? An award-winning writer who has earned accolades from prominent writers? conferences and retreats, McDowell directs reNEW? retreat for New England Writing and has also worked in radio broadcasting and on church pastoral staffs. She writes from ?Sunnyside? cottage in Connecticut. Find her online at EncouragingWords.net.

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by Kr yst al Chenaul t Daily prayer and devotion is such an important part of my life. I can definitely tell if I don't pray and have a time of devotion everyday.

My mood becomes very irritable and I just don't handle things to the absolute best of my ability.

I am somewhat of a hot head, loaded with a sassy

attitude, and everything gets on my nerves.

Where most people are praying for God to break chains of addiction from alcohol, to drugs, to perversion; I'm over here asking God to help me not throat punch the lady that sits behind me crunching on a peppermint.

Haha! That's real life y'all!!

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I said all that to say,

I HAVE t o have a t ime t o pr ay ever yday, and I HAVE t o spend t ime wit h t he Fat her ever yday.

Over the years, through scripture, through books, through preachers, through consistency, I have learned how to pray efficiently and effectively.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm a professional by any means, but I will say this, my family and friends know who to call

or text when they're in need of prayer because they know that a shift takes place on their behalf.

So I wanted to share with you how I pray, but first you need to understand that no one prays the same, and not everyone is on the same spiritual level, and this is not me telling YOU how to pray.

This is me telling you how I pray, and it might help you in the process!

SHOP DAYSPRING

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Find a quiet pl ace.

A quiet place is a place that's free from distraction,; tv, computer, PHONE. Personally I love to sit outside by the pool. Before we moved here, I would sit on my couch in my living room.

Set a t ime.

Set a time for undivided attention. As a stay at home parent this can be tricky. So I don't have a "set time", only nap time!

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Sit in a cer t ain posit ion.

I've found that I have to sit on the concrete by the pool, not in a cushy chair. If I'm comfortable then I usually fall asleep.

Pl ay sof t music.

By that I mean, no drums that i can tap my foot to. No words that I can sing along with. So basically an instrumental with a smooth flow.

Cl ear your mind.

After you've found your spot and got your soaking music going, write down your thoughts.

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When I start praying I usually have 100 things going through my head at once; what's for dinner, does my husband have clean work clothes for the next day, what I need to get from Walmart, ect. ect.

So if you go ahead and write those things down it kinda tricks your mind and helps you to not think about them anymore, and then when you're done praying you'll know what needs to be done.

Ask t o r eceive f r om Jesus.

Once my head is clear and my heart is open, then I am fully able to receive whatever it is that God is speaking to me at that specific time. If you have an actual relationship with Yahweh, you can go into your prayer time without having to ask for specific things. You can just ask Him to talk to you.

List en.

At this point, be silent so that you can hear what God says to you.

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Most times, He's whispering in my ear how much He loves me, and how beautiful I am, and how worthy I am. Then other times He will drop a scripture in my spirit.

Think on a singl e ver se.

Break it down. Word by word. Think on it. Say it. Sing it.

Pray it. Ask God to give you a great revelation on it. You know how sometimes you can read a scripture 99 times and see it one way, then that 100th time its totally different.

That's probably because you've been reading it wrong this whole time, that is a great revelation!

Wr it e it down.

For mysel f ,

I know that if I don't write things down as they come to me, I will forget what was said. With it being in writing you will be able to revisit what God had spoken to you in that moment, over and over and over again.

Prayer makes your spirit-man strong, which in-turn makes you strong in the spirit.

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I want to encourage you to find your spot, make the time, and spend it with the Father everyday.

I' m an Ar kansas gir l l iving t he Fl or ida dr eam! I'm a l it t l e wil d & cr azy and I say y'al l wit h a sout her n dr awl . I mar r ied my l if e par t ner in 2009 and we have Thr ee chil dr en t oget her . I have a passion f or dance and a new f ound l ove f or wr it ing.

Find Krystal on her blog at:

www.krystalchenault.blogspot.com

CLICK HERE

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Download

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Download

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An int erview wit h Tiffany Bl uhm, Aut hor of Never Alone: Exchanging Your Tender Hurts for God?s Healing Grace

Loneliness is on the rise in our society and impacting people of all ages. Research has shown that it increases stress and high blood pressure, weakens blood flow and immune systems, and is linked to mental disorders, depression, and even early death. It isn?t something to ignore, but rather it?s a signal for us to pay attention.

Unfortunately, its negative associations, such as a weakness perception or feeling of having poor social skills, impede people from being honest about where they stand. To make matters worse, it has contagious tendencies, and our social networking culture makes it viral.

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To break the cycle, we need to understand what loneliness does and the behavior it encourages, seek to be more positive and discerning, and retrain how we think about people.

For persons of faith, that includes re-evaluating what loneliness has led us to believe about God and our relationship with him.

The debut book, Never Alone: Exchanging Your Tender Hurts for God?s Healing Grace (Abingdon Press), by Bible teacher and speaker Tiffany Bluhm serves as a guide to help women do just that.

of al l t he fears t here are in t he worl d, how preval ent is t hefear of being al one?

As little girls, we feared playing alone on the playground. In middle school, we feared sitting alone at lunch. In high school, we feared going alone to the prom.

As adults, we fear we may never marry or have children. We fear our husbands may leave us. We fear we will be left to our solitary selves to fight the hardest battles of our lives.

We spend our lives doing our absolute best to prove we are lovable and valuable, never to be ignored or left alone.

Why do women need t o hear and bereminded t hey arenever al one?

Hearing they are never alone addresses women?s worst fear that they'll be left alone, rejected by the people around them

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simply for who they are, what they have done, or what?s been done to them.

What was your inspirat ion for writ ing Never Al one and it s companion Bibl est udy?

Too many women, including myself, have wondered if our life experiences disqualify us from the intervention and hope of Jesus. I was inspired by my own struggles (including abandonment at birth, being dumped by the man of my dreams, and losing a child in the adoption process) and struggles of close friends that we are not only loved by Jesus but given a beautiful identity as we follow him.

I?ve always believed women play a critical role in society, one that is intended to be defined not by culture but by Christ.

Never Alone exposes the truth of a woman?s value and vision when she believes in God and who he designed her to be.

What is t he main message you have for your readers?

Whomdid you writ eNever Al onefor?

Never Alone claims you are not too far gone, beyond repair, or too broken for the companionship and grace of Jesus. Jesus restores dignity to women when the world tries to rip it away from them.

The person you were intended to be is found when you work through the dark parts of your story and soul and cling to

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Christ through it all. If you ask him, the light of Christ will heal you, restore you, and lead you on.

Never Alone is for women who have allowed shame, despair, rejection, and loss to define their lives. No matter how small the incident or how big the trauma, we were built to walk in the fullness of God, never a counterfeit version determined by our life?s aches and pains.

How did being adopt ed cont ribut et o feel ings of shame and l onel iness t hroughout t he years? Did adopt ing your son change how you viewed your own experience?

From my earliest memories, I remember feeling different. I knew straight away I was different. My family is white, and I am East Indian. My childhood was spent wishing my skin was brighter and my story didn?t involve a mama giving up her baby. However, that was my story.

I?ve wrestled with shame and loneliness for being different, for being abandoned. No matter who you are, when the understanding of your origin story is understood, one that begun with abandonment, it messes with your understanding of worth.

I own just one baby picture of myself, taken at five months.

I?m wearing a simple cloth diaper with my moppy one baby picture of myself, taken at five months. I?m wearing a simple cloth diaper with my moppy one baby picture of myself, taken

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at five months. I?m wearing a simple cloth diaper with my moppy black hair piled atop my head. My pursed lips appear to be permanently carved on face. Every time I look at that picture my heart drops. Even five month I was scared and unsure of everything around me. Those overwhelming emotions of fear and uncertainty, my demons, were already there for me to fight Those overwhelming emotions of fear and uncertainty, my demons, were already there for me to fight, not only as a child, but also an adolescent, and later still adult.

Shame never lets us rest. It reminds us how we feel about ourselves when we?d rather forget. It?s a mark of something deeper. Yet, It evokes emotions that cause us to question why we wallow in them day after day.

Every shameful thought in us has a story, a birthplace deep in our core. It grows as we grow. Shame threads itself through our ideas, dreams, and hopes. It convinces us we aren?t good enough, strong or worthy for anyone?s love and affection.

Adopting my son gave me an understanding of God?s extravagant love for the brokenness in all of us. It was as though he pulled back the curtain to reveal his deep love and willingness to restore all that has been broken and lost.

Yet, at the same time, it?s wild and sometimes heartbreaking to see my son struggle with many of the issues I did as a child. To work through these issues with him has given me, as

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an adult, a double dose of compassion and a rock-solid belief that God can redeem each and every broken part of us.

You writ e about six women from Bibl ical hist ory and t heir st ories of hurt . Who weret hey, and how do t heir st ories affect ours?

The six women from the Gospels are the woman caught in adultery, the woman with the issue of blood, the woman at the well, the woman who anointed Jesus with oil, Mary Magdalene, and Mary, mother of Jesus. Each woman had an encounter with Jesus that radically redefined her value and role in society. Each of those encounters with Jesus pulls back the curtain on how God views women, how he values them in the Kingdom, and their innate worth.

Jesus saw fit for women to serve as image bearers, receivers of restoration, speakers of truth, and valiant leaders for the cause of Christ. The women of the gospels felt the sting of rejection, shame, and fear.

Like them, I?ve fought battles to claim my true identity defined not by the world, but by the death and resurrection of Jesus.

In a world of do?s and don?ts, Jesus cut through the noise to speak value, love, and companionship to women. The same is true today. This is a noisy world, but Jesus isn?t white noise to be ignored. He?s the giver of the life we crave.

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How do feel ings of fear, shame, and inequal it y st eal a woman's rol eas indispensabl ein t heKingdom?

Our fears and shame keep us from believing the truth of who we are and whose we are. We were built to be loved and live from a place of love, value, and power in Christ.

Shame has kept far too many women from rising to play the role of peace giver, truth teller, and justice seeker. Our shame, like a veil that blurs our vision, keeps us from seeing the purposed role each woman was born to take.

What are some of the things we do to protect ourselves from shame and rejection that in actuality make things worse? We isolate to escape rejection, but in turn, we forfeit connection.

We pass on the gracious love of Christ that is to be received and shared. Received by Christ himself and his people. Our isolation costs us love from others that could point us to the redeeming hand of Jesus.

We convince ourselves that in isolation, no one can hurt us. In isolation, we can be invincible. In isolation, we can be in control of what happens to us. While our attempt to survive is noble, it leaves us feeling even more rejected than we ever imagined.

At five years old, as soon as I understood the story of my birth and abandonment, it wasn?t long before I began to fantasize about what it would be like to meet my biological mother and visit the orphanage where I was left. I wanted to know every

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detail of my story, however broken and disjointed it may have been. I wanted what I believed everyone around me had. I wanted answers. I would visit friends and see baby pictures on the wall and baby footprints pressed into plaster. I wanted that.

I wanted a story without gaping holes and unanswered questions, so I isolated myself from others because I did not have what they did. Isolation was the result of feeling inadequate, unworthy, and shameful.

How do our rel at ionships change when we begin t o bel ieveful l y t hat Christ wil l never l eaveus?

Once we realize He is always with us, are we better equipped to conquer loneliness in our daily lives? A soul without Christ will hunger for someone to make it complete. We were built to abide in Christ, and if we don?t, too often we?ll seek and search for someone else to fulfill us. To be our everything. It?s a misplaced need that no human can bear, but Christ can. We can?t put on others what only Christ can do. When the companionship of Christ is enough for us, we change, as do our relationships. You see, what we believe about ourselves is projected onto our relationships. T he healthier the soul, the sweeter the relationships around us.

Our brokenness made whole is not only for us. Others will see the glory of God at work in our life when we experience it for ourselves.

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You suggest women forgo heal ing when t hey fail t o see God?s presence in t heir hardest memories and t oughest t rial s. How does revisit ing t he past hel p wit h t heheal ing process?

You and I are who we are today because of the experiences of our past. If we want to work through our current struggles, it will serve us well to revisit the past experiences that have affected how we see ourselves, others, and God. If we are able to identify those contributing factors of the past we can invite Christ in to those tender moments. We can ask him to redeem what has happened ten, twenty, thirty, or forty years ago.

You know what is really good news? Jesus? grace is retroactive. It can redeem the hurts of the past if only we offer up those aches and pains. We must remember that God isn't the cause of our misfortune or pain; he is the answer.

Sometimes we want to push him away because we think he failed to save us from whatever tragedy occurred, but that's not the case. He is the healer of tragedy, not the cause.

What are some ot her fact ors t hat work against women in t heir j ourney t o rest orat ion?

Honestly, the lies we believe about ourselves, coupled with festering resentment and bitterness for the way things have turned out in life, make for some hefty stumbling blocks.

Sometimes, you don't know where to start in your hunt for

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restoration. You and I can easily question if Jesus' grace is capable of doing all it claims it can. In our deepest hurts is when we decide who Jesus is? not just in the good times, but in the hard ones. If we aren?t able to identify the presence of Jesus in our pain we may wonder if he can restore our broken moments that leave us lonely and confused.

In addit ion t o t he book it sel f, what ot her resources are avail abl e t o go al ong wit h Never Al one for furt her st udy?

In addition to the book, the companion Bible study is available for further study, which includes six half-hour video sessions that dive into six encounters Jesus had with women in the gospels, each revealing his beliefs about women and each revealing He, indeed, was the Messiah. Each woman found she was loved by Christ, and once she encountered Jesus, her life would never be the same. There is a workbook, leader?s guide, leader?s kit, and DVD. (Click here to order from Amazon.)

Tiffany Bluhm is a speaker and writer who is passionate about helping women come to know their worth, value, and purpose because of a loving, redeeming God. In an engaging and relevant approach that speaks to women right where they are, she shares insights from a life spent chasing after Jesus while walking alongside women from suburbia to the inner city, jails and brothels, and the slums of Kolkata.

Because of her own story of international adoption and the adoption of a son from Uganda, Tiffany has a heart for women and children in the margins and has created a number of unconventional outreaches to serve them.

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Get t heBook or Bibl eSt udy

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We want to know what you would tell your coffee buddy or what you would love your coffee buddy to say to you!

Le t us k now !

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Use it as a screensaver, print it out and stick it on your mirror or print it on card stock and use it as a card for someone!

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Emotional Benefits of a Bullet Journal Have you ever heard of bullet journaling? They are used as a way to jot down your to-do lists, wish lists, calendars and help with finances. They can do more! They can actually improve your mental and emotional state.

Look at these different emotional benefits you can gain from having a bullet journal.

StressRelief First of all, you can get a lot of relief from your stress when you have a bullet journal. This includes relieving different types of stress, such as work stress, financial stress, emotional stress, or even relationship stress. By having all of your schedules and appointments in one place, you aren?t constantly worried that you are going to miss something.

When you have a way to better plan for the future and track

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your expenses, it helps with financial and work stress you are struggling with. If your stress can?t yet be identified, then looking through your diary entries and mood changes can let you know what the biggest issues are for you.

HelpWith Anxiety If you struggle with any form of anxiety, whether it is constant worry, generalized anxiety disorder, or severe panic attacks, you know that it can come on suddenly and without warning.

However, it is possible that there are certain events or situations that are leading to the anxiety and that it isn?t always quite as random as you thought.

By having the bullet journal and recording your moods and daily lifestyle, you can actually pinpoint what tends to cause the panic attacks.

It might be when you have work stress or when you are around a particular person who seems to draw out the anxiety in you. It can also be due to certain foods or drinking a lot of alcohol or caffeine. Keep track to help you figure things out.

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Finding Your Depression Triggers Depression is also something that may happen at any time, but can also be triggered by someone or something. Some people have situational depression, where there is something that usually occurs to cause all of those depressive moods and feelings. This is another thing you can determine by recording as much of your life as possible in a bullet journal.

These are just a few ways you can use a bullet journal to record any emotions or feelings that you find necessary.

Creatively writing in a private journal can be useful. Just look back on it often to see if there are any patterns.

Happy Journaling!!

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