Cheryl Magazine | Summer 2022 by cherylmagazine

SUMMER 2022

Engage in a Self-Care Routine WHY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT

Vanessa Estelle Williams Darlene McCoy

Taja V. Simmons and Entrepreneur Spotlight

Sylvia Brownlee

ALEXIS KERR VP of Hallmark Mahogany Brand

Know Your Voice. Use Your Voice. P. 1 Cheryl MAGAZINE

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THE ARTOF INFLUENCE Invite Success Into Every Area of Your Life!

Order your copy today at cherylpwilliamson.com.

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For book signings, speaking engagements, and other inquiries contact: info@cherylpwilliamson.com. Cheryl MAGAZINE

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Editorial Email

editorials@cherylmagazine.com TO SELL CHERYL MAGAZINE IN YOUR STORE info@cherylmagazine.com ISSN: 2766-6352 (Print) Cheryl Magazine a lifestyle and women’s empowerment publication, is a Cheryl Polote Williamson, LLC (CPW) quarterly produced by Williamson Media Group, LLC (WMG) 6101 Long Prairie Road, Box 744 #269, Flower Mound, TX 75028. Periodicals postage paid at Flower Mound, TX and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: Please send changes of address to Cheryl Magazine 6101 Long Prairie Road, Box 744 #269, Flower Mound, TX 75028. Subscribers, allow 4-6 weeks for change of address to become effective. Subscriptions ordered are non-cancellable and non-refundable unless otherwise promoted. Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights in letters sent to Cheryl Magazine will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to unrestricted right to edit and to comment editorially. Request for permission to reprint should be sent to the Permissions and Reprints Department by emailing info@cherylmagazine.com and placing “Request for permission to reprint” in the subject line. The title Cheryl Magazine is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Contents copyright © 2022 by Williamson Media Group, LLC. All rights reserved. Nothing can be reprinted in whole or in part without express written permission from the publisher. Printed in the U.S.A.

CHERYL MAGAZINE

A lifestyle and women’s empowerment publication Editor-in-Chief | Dr. Cheryl Polote Williamson Cover Director & Managing Editor | Traci Henderson Smith Contributing Features Editor | Siobhan Davenport Contributing Editor | Charmaine Roots Castillo Contributing Editor | Tess Alexandria Financial Editor | Roni M. Benjamin Copy Editor | Dr. Michelle Kindred

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Patricia Bailey Hayli Boyd Maria D. Flowers Tyrese McAllister Sarina Renee Murphy

Zachary Spires Kimberly Noel Sweet Courtney N. Williamson Nina Wooten Nikki Wright

OPERATIONS Creative Director | Shannon Skipper Green Jarrett Business and Media | media@cherylmagazine.com Sales | Tammy Woodard sales@cherylmagazine.com Projects | Danette Brown projects@cherylmagazine.com Art Department | art@cherylmagazine.com Circulation & Distribution | Kristen Hansen Kristen@cherylmagazine.com

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Damon Barnes (Orlando) Reuben Chandler (Atlanta /NYC) Eryk Gross (Dallas/Houston) Corey S. Guevarra (Los Angeles) Heidi Pearson (Chicago)

WILLIAMSON MEDIA GROUP, LLC EXECUTIVE President | Russell Williamson Chief Executive Officer | Cheryl Polote Williamson Advisor to the Editor-in-Chief | Mikki Taylor

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FROM THE DESK OF CHERYL POLOTE WILLIAMSON Engaging in a self-care routine isn’t just about massages, facials, manicures, and pedicures. All those things count and should be mandatory, not as a treat, but as a necessity. However, protecting your mental health is the greatest act of self-care you can offer yourself.

Celebrate each day to the fullest. You’re alive. That’s reason enough to rejoice. Finding reasons to express gratitude does wonders for your mental health. Start a gratitude journal and watch your mental health improve while your world opens to endless possibilities.

Setting boundaries has inched its way to number one on my list of self-care must-haves. Though difficult, I learned to give and not allow it to empty me. I am a giver by nature. I pour and pour, and pour, and pour. You can’t constantly pour out without replenishing, refueling, refilling, and restoring. And yes, at times, that means a quick getaway for some rest and relaxation, a trip to the spa, or some stay-at-home-quiet time soaking in the tub in total peace and silence—a glass of wine and some candles if you’re fancy. More than that, I’ve learned to redefine self-care in a way that doesn’t cost a dime but could cost a person’s mental stability and sanity if not added to their course of everyday life. I read someplace that givers must set boundaries because takers never do. Set the boundaries. It’s a key component in taking care of you.

Finally, and this is a big one. I pray this change in your self-care routine brings you constant and evolving change. All the love you give to others, give it to yourself. Whatever need you have and void in you that is unfulfilled, that you keep waiting on someone else to fill for you, you fill it with all the love, attention, appreciation, respect, honor, and care you deserve, then watch how you will attract the same from others.

Become unavailable. I don’t mean where your calendar or time is concerned, though you should reevaluate those too. When I say become unavailable, I mean to protect and safeguard your mental, emotional, and spiritual space. Become unavailable to what is draining, toxic, or doesn’t sit well with or serve you. Become unavailable to whatever is not for you. You have so much you should be working on that is a part of the God-given assignment and purpose designated for your life. You don’t have time for anything that is not growing, developing, feeding, or financing you. And even if it is doing those things, are they a part of your assignment? You may have to let some things go and learn to be ok with that. Become unavailable to negativity, co-dependency, unchanged behaviors, and dead cycles. And most of all, become unavailable to any and everything that disrespects and devalues you. You simply don’t have the time.

Self-care is purposeful and intentional selfprioritized engagement. It’s important, and it’s necessary. Do yourself the favor. Love,

Cheryl

Become more aware of what’s worth your energy. Don’t do anything that doesn’t bring you the fullness of joy. Stop doing things you don’t like, that stress you, or cause you emotional turmoil or pain. Just stop. Walk away today. That’s some self-care for you!

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

Cheryl

Family, Community, Human Interest: Help, Hope, and Legacy

CONTENTS

SUMMER 2022 | ISSUE #11

THE INVITATION Interview with the creators of the new documentary about The Links, Incorporated.

REDEFINING LOVE Two perspectives: A Married and a Single Woman's View

HOW GOOD CAN IT GET? Courtney N. Williamson

AUTHOR'S CORNER

COVER STORY: Alexis Kerr

VP of Hallmark Mahogany Brand Know Your Voice. Use Your Voice.

LIFESTYLE

Celebrate LIFE With Family, Good Food, and Fun!

STYLE MATTERS Amplify Your Next Zoom!

PARENTING TIPS Green Thumbs & Life Lessons

22 Vanessa E. Williams Committed to Joy, by Any Means Necessary

26 The Great Migration Through the Exploration of Art

BUSINESS & FINANCE Get insight that will help strengthen and empower your life and business! P. 8 Cheryl MAGAZINE

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Taja V. Simpson Colorism and the Power of Affirmations

FAMILY CORNER Wonderful Water Wonderland Wonders Works!

MASTERING THE COOKOUT Recipes to Help Your Summer Sizzle

BUSINESS SENSE & SENSIBILITY: DELEGATE, DELEGATE, DELEGATE! THE LIST: Cheryl's Favorite Business Resources ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT: Sylvia Brownlee: Stay the Course

IN EVERY ISSUE

We THRIVE! Motivation, Inspiration, Action Plans, and POWER

Dr. Cheryl Polote Williamson

with Tess Alexandria Adding Healthy Confrontation to My Self-Care List

What Women Should Know with Zachary Spires My Journey in Fatherhood

A Letter From the Editor-in-Chief

Foxxy Wizdom

with Charmaine Roots Castillo Sister, Sister Wherefore Art Thou?

Darlene "McCoy" Jackson Embracing and Loving Your Authentic Self

The Gentleman's Voice:

Daddy Issues

FOCUS ON MENTAL HEALTH

AGING WELL

with Patricia Bailey No Time for Self-Care? I Can Help.

with Tyrese McAllister It Was the Best of Times; It Was the Worst of Times.

with Roni M. Benjamin Money Can’t Buy Happiness, but Neither Can Poverty.

with Traci Henderson Smith Strength to Live Authentically: Meet the Cochrans

#GIRLPOWER

Money Talk

ive, but don't let it empty you. Become aware of what's really worth your energy. - CHERYL

COVER SHOOT:

Photographer: Reuben Chandler Photography Wardrobe: Kenya Freeman, CEO of Sylvia Mollie Makeup: Sydney Ryan

HEALTH & WELLNESS Look Well. Heal Well. Feel Well. Live Well!

SUNNY DAYS AND OTHER WAYS TO GET SOME VITAMIN D Maria D. Flowers, MHA

LASERS AND MELANIN: THE UNLIKELY PAIR Hayli Boyd P. 9 Cheryl MAGAZINE

by Kimberly Noel Sweet

torytelling is much more than just art. The opportunity to speak our truths and share our lived experiences is powerful. As a filmmaker, Dr. Cheryl Polote Williamson never misses the chance to use her medium to educate, elevate and inspire women. Her most recent work does that on-screen and behind the scenes.

The Invitation is a documentary film that explores the journey of two African American women who decided to fight back when faced with rampant racism in post-World War II America. Margaret Rosell Hawkins and Sarah Strickland Scott asked a few friends to help make a difference in their Philadelphia community. Seventy-five years later, that small club has grown into an international non-profit organization with more than 16,000 members. The Invitation is a story about women finding their power and using their resources to transform the lives of Black and Brown women, children, and families all over the world. “I take it as my personal responsibility to share the gifts, talents, and contributions of the women who paved the way for me to see what is possible when we believe and take action to make life better for people of color,” Polote Williamson said. She says that telling the story of African American philanthropy dating back to the 1940s is also very important. She continued to say, “These women exemplify the power of speaking life into difficult situations. They began in their homes, but the seeds they planted are impacting lives generations later all over the world. Each one of us can do the same.”

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Dr. Polote Williamson commenced the project, sharing executive producer credits with the National President of The Links, Incorporated, Dr. Kimberly Jeffries Leonard, and the organization’s Executive Director, Kristie Patton Foster. Jeffries Leonard wanted to document the organization’s history as a love letter to everyone who has been a member of The Links and a motivator to anyone who wonders if small acts of volunteerism can impact. “The Links, Incorporated has a long history of social justice. We started in the 1940s with NAACP memberships and local youth activities,” Jeffries Leonard explained. “Today, we register voters, fight health disparities, work for criminal justice reforms, and help thousands of students attend college.” What once was a small club is now an international model for African American philanthropy. She continued, “We have given more than $27 million through The Links Foundation, Incorporated. Our latest legacy gift of $1 million was granted to the Obama Presidential Library. I know our co-founders would be proud of us.” The Invitation was written and directed by Wendy Eley Jackson, whose other credits include Maynard (2017), Welcome to Pine Lake (2020), and Carterland (2021). The film is presented by Williamson Media Group, Auburn Avenue Films, and The Links, Incorporated. For Polote Williamson, the composition of the team matters. “African American production companies, writers, and producers have been waiting to tell our communities’ stories,” she said. “I am proud to present a film that involves African American women in every aspect of the filmmaking process, from the subject of the story to its writing, directing, and production. There will be many more to come.”

“I am proud to present a film that involves African American women in every aspect of the filmmaking process, from the subject of the story to its writing, directing, and production. There will be many more to come.” - Wendy Eley Jackson, Director

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KNOW YOUR VOICE. USE YOUR VOICE. ALEXIS KERR VP of Hallmark Mahogany Brand by Traci Henderson Smith

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remember the first time I saw a Hallmark Mahogany card at a local pharmacy; a sense of pride washed over me. I was a graduating senior from high school. The term “representation matters” was not prevalent then or on-trend. Still, the sentiment resonated within me. Somehow, I immediately understood that these “seasoned,” and by seasoned, I mean how my mother threw down on chicken, cards were a big deal for our community—they were a big deal for me. They did not just have a hint of African-American relevance; they looked and felt like ME. The words and artwork spoke to ME. And at that moment, I mattered in a way I had not realized I did before. It was 1987, long before we shined the light on phrases like Black Lives Matter, but the late-sixties hallowed cry “Say it loud, I’m Black, and I’m PROUD” still rang through my home, and those were the first words that came to mind when I held the African-American designated greeting cards in my hand for the first time. It wasn’t long after that I made writing for Hallmark a goal—you know, one of those bucket-list items. “One day I’m going to write greeting cards for Hallmark,” echoed in the back of my mind for years. I’m very sure it’s on an old vision board or in an old journal somewhere. Imagine my delight after more than thirty years of watching and participating in Hallmark’s celebration of Black culture, meeting, speaking with, and getting to write about Alexis Kerr, Vice President of the Hallmark Mahogany brand. Hallmark brought Kerr on a little more than a year ago as the company made strides to expand the Mahogany brand beyond a card line and create products and experiences for their diverse customer base. Kerr has a background in engineering, marketing, IT, and international business and is a proven leader in multicultural brand development. She took time to talk leadership, influence, and using your voice with Cheryl Magazine. Tell us about your role as Vice President of Hallmark Mahogany. “I started in my position as Vice President of the Mahogany brand a year ago, and I’ve been leading a transformation of the brand to reach its core consumer—Black women—with new channels, activations, and events that provide platforms for her to share her voice. This includes the launch of an all-new Mahogany.com website, which features a writing community that centers on the voices of Black women who uplift and empower one another and serves as a marketplace where shoppers will easily find Mahogany products. In addition to managing experiential and social media for the brand, I am leading a partnership with Crown Media Family Networks that will bring Mahogany to life on television.” You've had a rewarding career leading iconic brands like GM and Cadillac, and now Hallmark Mahogany. Tell us what it has meant to you personally, professionally, and culturally to be in these positions of influence and power. “I’m drawn to iconic brands with rich histories. Hallmark’s Mahogany brand is 30 years old, and it’s been so meaningful to work with a brand that’s all about empowerment and leaning in. In the past, especially with my roles at GM and Cadillac, I was targeting a multicultural audience. But my work with the Mahogany brand has allowed me to really focus with tunnel vision on an African American audience, specifically women. We’re using the Mahogany platform to create spaces for Black women and to embody their voices. I’m very proud of that as one of my biggest accomplishments.” You have a background in engineering, marketing, information technology, and international business. How has it been navigating these waters as a woman and then as a Black woman?

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“Many times, over the course of my career, I have been the only one in the room. It’s one thing to be the only one. It’s another to be the only one and listen to the ways in which business is conducted—understanding clearly how to concisely articulate your point of view to executives and how to courteously reject someone’s idea. Those were the key takeaways for me. I focused on listening to the business language and mastering it. If you’re the only one, you can either have an empowered sense of figuring out how to bring someone else along or a victim’s mindset. I chose to navigate in a way that was authentic to who I was while also mentioning the names of others I knew were deserving of new opportunities too.” Where/whom do you draw your inspiration, drive, determination, and motivation? “My team inspires me every day. Their youth, energy, and the vibrancy of their excitement about the work we’re doing, and the ideas that we’re coming up with, really inspire me. I’m always also inspired by the free thoughts of young people. They don’t know the limits yet. Our Mahogany writers continue to inspire me too, because they’re very much in tune with the culture and our community, and they help motivate me to want to do more.” What personal stories can you share about your greatest victory and biggest letdown? “To succeed at any goal, you must acknowledge that it is going to be work. I always have a game plan, a strategy as to how I attack things. For example, when it comes to dealing with micro-aggressions, I use strong one-liners that help people realize that I’m pivoting and not having those discussions. You don’t always have to embarrass someone to be clear that they are being inappropriate. I became more confident when I decided I’m not having conversations about things that did not pertain to business, like my height, hairstyles, etc. Equity is the real legacy. It’s where the magic happens. My greatest legacy is in creating space for Black women to grow and flourish, emotionally and financially. We are amazing women; we have amazing contributions. There’s space for us all to succeed. That will always continue to be my mindset. There’s a lane that only you can fill, right now and in the future. My greatest victory is in creating so many more spaces where we can all continue to flourish.”

A big part of your journey is taking action but being very honest with yourself. Don’t be afraid to hear criticism and sit with it.

What do you have to say to women who read this and admire you for your commitment to excellence in leadership and aspire to reach the levels you've conquered? “A big part of your journey is taking action but being very honest with yourself. Don’t be afraid to hear criticism and sit with it. Own your career and do what’s necessary to change your trajectory. Always feel like you’re in control of what’s happening to you, and never let a good crisis pass you by! Rise to the occasion and stand firmly rooted in the skills and expertise you have. Black Excellence is knowing that you have already been contributing in an excellent way, and you are bringing in all the strength and power of the brothers and sisters who have come before you. Overcoming adversity is part of your DNA.” What did you want to be growing up? Are you who you imagined? “I had a desire in my youth to be a track star, so I absolutely love sports and can play nearly every sport. I have always loved fashion, and I went to school for textile engineering and later ended up getting a computer science degree too, but I’m still passionate about fashion. I do still make my own jewelry. While I don’t work in the fashion industry today, I look at how I’m able to lift up others through my role—writers, artists, actors, musicians, and small business owners—and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.” P. 1 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE

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Outside of corporate leadership, who is Alexis Kerr--your interests, family, social involvements and organizations, and activities? “I have five brothers and five sisters, and my family connection is so important to me. I’m also an avid traveler. I’ve been to more than 60 countries, including Saudi Arabia, and I’ve lived in many different places. Service is a central theme in my life. I have mentored young girls, served as Deacon at Hartford Memorial Baptist Church, and [currently] sit on several boards, including the Knight Foundation in Detroit, “EarlyStart” (formally United Inner City Services), and the Greater Kansas City Chamber’s Executive Women’s Leadership Council. I’m also a proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.” Our theme for this issue is self-care and why it's important. What do you do for self-care after days, weeks, and months of creating and leading? “In the past, there was a superwoman expectation that I can do all things, nothing hurts my feelings, and I can work a million hours, and take care of my friends and family. Now, we’re in this moment of mental wellness, and we can rest. The journey is about how am I moving through this world? Where is my Black joy? I deserve it. I own it. I can’t be working 15 hours a day. I take the time in the evenings to thank God for the day with 30-45 minutes of prayer and thanksgiving. I also go on daily walks in the morning to get my day started. Monthly massages are back in my routine, and I spend time with my family, boyfriend, and friends. Those are the things that rejuvenate me. They are also the things that ignite my creativity.” What's next? “Before the year is out, you’ll see some amazing Mahogany movies. It’s going to be simulcast among all of our Crown Media networks. We’re also working to expand our brand and products to make them bigger and broader. Lastly, we’re going to continue to be in all these amazing places supporting Black women, including events and a podcast, and really shine a spotlight on faith and community.” One of the missions of Cheryl Magazine is to advocate for women and women supporting women. What final words would you like to share on the topic?

Not only do you have a voice, but also we need you to use your voice. Every single one of us has a purpose, and as you walk more firmly in your purpose, you can be an inspiration to others.

“Know your voice and use your voice. A lot of times, early on, women think, ‘it’s not my time to speak,’ ‘I can’t add value.’ ‘I’m unsure.’ Not only do you have a voice, but also we need you to use your voice. Every single one of us has a purpose, and as you walk more firmly in your purpose, you can be an inspiration to others.” Forgive us at Cheryl Magazine as we fangirl for a moment. Alexis Kerr is Black Excellence! We are not only impressed by the tremendous difference she has made in the spaces she has occupied, but we are grateful for her stellar representation of the culture and her tenacity to make way for women, black women, and other people of color. In 1944 Hallmark adopted the slogan, “When you care enough to send the very best.” I’d like to tweak that slightly for this interview—when you care enough to hire the very best. Salute to Hallmark Mahogany and Alexis Kerr, for what this union will mean for the community.

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Darlene "McCoy" Jackson Embracing and Loving Your Authentic Self by Traci Henderson Smith

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other, national recording artist, radio personality, actress, author, songwriter, mentor, entrepreneur, comedian, and speaker is how her website reads. These are descriptions taken from her bio. Those that know her would add: sister in the trenches, friend you can depend on, voice for the voiceless, lover of all people, and advocate for what is good and right. Darlene hit the scene in 2005, emerging as an iconic sound in gospel music. Her first single, “Fallen in Love,” on EMI Gospel, was included on the soundtrack of Tyler Perry’s Diary of a Mad Black Woman and a precursor to the album Darlene McCoy (2007). The album broke through on the Billboard magazine charts placing on the gospel charts and received a GMA Dove Award nomination for Urban Album of the Year. Another single, “Simply Because,” from the same album, received an Urban Record Song of the Year nomination. More accolades and Billboard charting followed alongside becoming the first African American female to host a nightly syndicated radio show, The Nightly Spirit, proving that her move from Greenville, SC to Atlanta, GA, several years earlier was the right move. People didn’t know that it was a move made in desperation. In “McCoy” Jackson’s new book, And Then She Turned 50, she takes us from teenage parenthood to fleeing a criminally abusive relationship. Running for her life while simultaneously avoiding further destruction landed her in Atlanta with barely more than her faith. “I said to myself one day, that ‘if he hits me again, I’m going to kill him,’” shared “McCoy” Jackson. “So, I left. With all the odds stacked against me, I left. I knew that my answer from God was ‘Leave. Get out now. Go as far away as you can. Your life is in danger.’ I slightly knew one person in Atlanta. I had a high school education and no formal skills other than running a cash register, but faith that I had made the right choice for my life. By every means possible, I left the state and landed in Atlanta, GA, with a dollar to my name and a whole lot of faith.” “McCoy” Jackson always enjoyed singing but never considered a professional career. She made a life in Atlanta and had spent twelve successful years in corporate America when the opportunity presented itself. She connected with mega-producer Dallas Austin, and it wasn’t long before she was singing backup for Darwin Hobbs, who personally walked her demo into EMI. After charting records, performances at concerts in the park for Majic 107.5, a stint as the praise and worship leader on CoCo Brother’s show on the sister station Praise 102.5, and a guest spot on a secular show,

the Majic and Praise program director put a weekend show together for “McCoy” Jackson with gospel artist Canton Jones called Judah Jams. “My music career is truly a testament of the Lord working His hand in my life and the direction He had for me. Two months after the weekend show, the program director approached me about being a midday host. The show rose to the Top 5 in the market and rested at #1 for years at a time.” Shattering glass ceilings, Darlene “McCoy” Jackson is the adored nationally syndicated nighttime voice that fans all over the country refuse to miss. “I had never aspired for radio. I didn’t go to school for it. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t think I would be in it that long. But then I realized that I had something to say that people wanted to hear. I have never been traditionally gospel. I have always had an eclectic sound connected to all different types of people. My gospel records charted on secular charts. I am approachable, and I make relatable music filled with joy, healing, and thought for everyone. I talk to people—not just Christian or church people—all people. I am palpable for all different people and society as a whole. It’s why my presence is important. I have real conversations and am not afraid to tackle real issues. I brought something Christian radio had not seen.” She’s vulnerable yet powerful, transparent yet purely authentic, and unapologetic. And for a career she never knew was waiting on her to arrive, “McCoy” Jackson has done phenomenally. Her voice has become necessary in both music and radio, and this fall, she is being inducted into the National Black Radio Hall of Fame. And Then She Turned 50 lays bare the experiences that carved out the foundation for “McCoy” Jackson to start living after escaping a tumultuous relationship and life. There’s her life in music, radio, and the many other things her hands are in, but another part of the joy of her present life is her new king. It’s where she got the added Jackson part of her name. “McCoy” Jackson recently wed her long-time friend, actor Alphonso A’Qen-Aten Jackson (Last Seen Alive, I Wish I Never Met You, The God of Dreams, Black Lightning, King of Kings, The Plug, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Little Women of Atlanta), in ancestrally royal nuptials airing on VH1’s My Celebrity Dream Wedding slated for later in 2022. In the book, she tells the inspiring story of how through friendship first and trusting the voice of God over the voice of people and tradition, someone she could never date due to major differences in religious beliefs ended up being the best relationship she ever had, her husband, and praying priest of their home. P. 1 9 Cheryl MAGAZINE

And Then SHe Turned

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“He’s a true soulmate,” fawns “McCoy” Jackson. “We relate so deeply to each other. We were friends for five years and then dated for five years. I think people should take as much time as they need to find themselves, their groove, and their purpose. Originally I kept saying it could never work because I didn’t want to tarnish my brand. He was an atheist. We went from friends and no way we could date, to okay, we can date but never get married, to beloved Fonz and Darlene. There was just no way to deny that we shined together. I kept being me, and I let God do the rest.” In addition to the joyful story of transformation and evolution the couple experienced, other riveting stories about “McCoy” Jackson’s quest for a better life rocked unaware family and friends. “My book release was a lot more than I expected. I didn’t expect the responses I’ve gotten of changed lives or my immediate family’s reaction. I have one sibling—my brother. The domestic violence incidents in the book happened 30 years ago when my brother was a new pastor of my family’s church and a newlywed. Had I told him everything I went through, I’m afraid the outcome may have been worse and perhaps to the detriment of his ministry. Respectfully, I chose to pray, leave the state, and run for my life. I was certain that he knew that there was a level of violence, but I believe the graphic descriptive nature of the story sent him into a moment of rage. He was very emotional reading it. He apologized to me and said he was too young and naive to realize how much help I needed. He said he should have been my protector and not my pastor at that time. I reminded him that he was the one that led me to Christ. Christ was my way out and my protector, and he could be proud of that.” “McCoy” Jackson’s story is one of the good, bad, and ugly. But her wisdom garnered and shared through it all is what stands out. “I want people to feel joy and love and be okay with themselves no matter what. I want them to know they can do and be and overcome. Embrace your authentic self. LOVE your authentic self even if others don’t. I’m different. I know that and am okay with being different and not fitting into molds and don’t care who doesn’t get me. I want other people to be okay with being different too.” If you’ve watched her career, you know that Darlene “McCoy” Jackson is not just different, but she’s a master at making being different okay. She makes being different still lovable by God. Follow Darlene “McCoy” Jackson on IG@ darlenemccoy. And Then She Turned 50 is available on Amazon. Her music is available on all streaming platforms.

“He’s a true soulmate... There was just no way to deny that we shined together." -Darlene

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Committed to Joy, By Any Means Necessary

Vanessa E. Williams by Siobhan Davenport

Vanessa E. Williams is a renowned, awardwinning actress, singer, writer, producer, and director. She is best known for her roles as Maxine Joseph-Chadway in the Showtime drama series, Soul Food, for which she received an NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series, and as Nino Brown’s feisty gun moll, Keisha, in the crime drama New Jack City. After appearing on The Cosby Show and Law & Order, Williams starred in the first season of the Fox prime-time soap opera Melrose Place as Rhonda Blair. Williams is a bright light with an acting career spanning over three decades in television, film, and theater. However, her faith sustained Williams during the ups and downs of life and her career. Her belief in God and hope itself has gotten Williams through some tough times, like those rising feelings of abandonment from the loss of her mother at an early age, unemployment while pregnant with her two sons, and divorce from her husband of twentysix years. “I truly believe in the biblical verse, Matthew 6:33, which states, ‘Seek first the kingdom of God and

His righteousness and all these things shall be given unto you,’ says Williams. God can give you gifts better than anything I can imagine. Only He can give the gift of your heart.” Williams had the blessing of a supportive family, and she cherishes her beloved mother for starting her on the road to fame. Her mother took her out of head start, a free preschool program, so that they could spend time together. Williams credits her mother for giving her the gift of books and words. They often visited the local library, where, as a treat, Williams could choose books to take home. “I loved Curious George, with all his mischievousness and adventures. My mother imprinted on me permission to be the same,” Williams shares. “From her smiles and laughs, I learned that I can make people happy.” Suddenly losing her mother at age ten, Williams was devastated as she and her three brothers went to live with their grandmother. “Sometimes, I feel like a motherless child. However, I’m a firm believer in therapy. My P. 2 3 Cheryl MAGAZINE

FEATURE STORY

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“Your life will be out of balance. Give yourself grace.” - Vanessa

minor in college was psychology, which was an excuse to go to therapy,” says Williams. “It was an invaluable experience. I learned to name how I felt with words, such as abandonment and wounded child. I learned that I’m not the only one and that everyone is going through something. The most courageous thing I did was take responsibility for my circumstances and allow my faith to move me toward healing.” Williams has used her love of psychology to help build her character and make her a better parent. She is the mother of two sons, Omar Tafari (25) and Haile Zion Ali (19), who will be attending college in the fall to study film. “As a child, I was furious and felt disrespected. Although my mother was dying, none of the adults told my brothers or me. I made a conscious decision as a parent to always respect my children and believe they’re whole and perfect. I was patient to answer their questions and took them everywhere with me. I wanted my Black boys to have the confidence instilled in white boys from birth.” Williams acknowledges the difficulties of being a working mother and advises other women to dismantle the myth of the superwoman. “Your life will be out of balance. Give yourself grace,” Williams advises. “There is no way you can

equally balance your work, family, and time for yourself. I fully utilized my village of friends and resources because it’s hard, and we all need help. Expect to not hit it out of the park.” When asked what advice Williams would give her younger self, she offers many gems, such as, ‘Wait a minute, and this too shall pass,’ ‘Every No is getting out the way of Yes,’ and ‘Look forward to giving yourself a break.’ The longtime Days of Our Lives staple and American Horror Stories actress recently reprised her starring role in the original 1992 slasher classic Candyman in a rise from the ashes in the 2021 thrilling spiritual sequel. Becoming a present-day, finger-wagging meme in the process helps bring the urban tale full circle. She delivers in her recurring role as contemporary artist Pippa Pascal in season two of The L Word: Generation Q, and she just wrapped a recurring role on the Fox Drama series 9-1-1 starring Peter Krause and Angela Bassett. Williams has no intentions of slowing down as she celebrates her last year before turning sixty in 2023 and plans a future filled with the joy she emanates. “I’m trying to decide the next few decades of my life,” Williams says. “I see a book called, The Game of Life and How to Slay It and an album. I don’t want to die with my music inside me.”

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FROM THE RURAL SOUTH TO THE URBAN NORTH TO SEEKING CHANGE ABROAD

Jamea Richmond-Edwards, This Water Runs Deep, 2022. PHOTO: CORTNEY LEATHERWOOD/© JAMEA RICHMOND-EDWARDS/COURTESY THE ARTIST AND KRAVETS WEHBY GALLERY/COMMISSIONED BY THE BALTIMORE MUSEUM OF ART AND THE MISSISSIPPI MUSEUM OF ART

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REVISITING THE GREAT MIGRATION

Through an Exploration of Art by Kimberly Noel Sweet

More than 100 years ago, our ancestors, uncles, relatives, and friends started moving. It might have been racism, lack of jobs, or some combination of the two that prompted six million African Americans to make the intra-country shift known as the Great Migration. By train, bus, or car, they left the familiar for the unknown. This historical event is much more than just a population shift. Our Great Migration is also responsible for the growth of major cities and shaping art, culture, and cuisine. In some cases, those who left found their Promised Land and new life, while others met with the same discrimination they thought was left behind. African-American migration’s impact on generations past and present is the subject of a traveling art exhibit entitled “A Movement in Every Direction: Legacies of the Great Migration.” Commissioned by the Mississippi Museum of Art and the Baltimore Museum of Art, the collection features the works of twelve contemporary African American artists who use their art to share family legacies and personal stories about the Great Migration. In creating the exhibition, officials began with what hasn’t been taught or said. Artists met the challenge by finding a personal connection like an old photo, family story, or archival research. Subsequent study and interactions led them to discover and find a deeper relationship to this aspect of our history. Each work tells its own story through a unique medium. The twelve works range from mixed media on canvas to tapestry to film.

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“I’m going back South because up here I was not feeling at home...[I am] trying to reclaim some of this, what I felt was lost." Among them is Jamea Richmond-Edwards’ This Water Runs Deep. Her mixed media and collage work on canvas with sound shares her ancestral journey. The artist was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, but her family hails from rural Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, Virginia, and Mississippi, a connection she is re-establishing. “I’m going back South because up here I was not feeling at home. I’m currently building a home right outside of Jackson, Mississippi, trying to reclaim some of this, what I felt was lost,” Richmond-Edwards told museum officials Jessica Bell Brown and Ryan Dennis from the BMA and MMA, respectively. Her work explores the legacies of her mother’s family, the Richmonds, displaced by natural disasters and eventually lost their family property. Her art depicts generations of the family securing safe passage despite hardship. Richmond-Edwards’ son, Jeremiah, plays an instrument, referenced by the music paired with this work. From her mother to the artist, her husband, sister, niece, and sons, This Water Runs Deep demonstrates the strength and hope embodied by many who took part in the Great Migration.

-Jamea Richmond-Edwards

Jamea Richmond-Edwards ARTIST

Ryan Dennis

CURATOR. WRITER. ADVOCATE. Ryan N. Dennis is the chief curator and artistic director of the Center for Art & Public Exchange (CAPE) at the Mississippi Museum of Art. She is deeply interested in the intersection of art and social justice while creating equitable opportunities for artists to thrive in their work. Dennis earned her master’s degree in Arts and Cultural Management from Pratt Institute with a focus in Curatorial Practice. She is also on the board of the Alliance of Artists Communities and advisory committees of Gulf Coast Literary and Fine Arts Journal, University of Houston’s System-Wide Art Acquisition, and Houston Art Alliance’s Civic Art Committee. She is currently a proud fellow of the Center for Curatorial Leadership’s 2019 Fellowship Program. Dennis resides in Jackson, MS. Courtesy of ryanndennis.com.

“It can be said that every Black person in this country has been impacted by the Great Migration.” - Ryan Dennis, chief curator of the Mississippi Museum of ArT

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Maryland based artist Zoë Charlton, presents her collage on wood panel, “Permanent Change of Station.” The piece blends worlds of reality and fantasy, depicting her family’s journeys out of the South and around the world, many by way of the military, Friday, Apr. 8, 2022. Credit: Vickie D. King/Mississippi Today

…this idea of occupying space—whether it’s physically in a space or even how we’re represented in a space—has been very very important to me. - Zoë Charlton P. 3 0 Cheryl MAGAZINE

The complexity of the migration experience led others to seek a change of circumstance by joining the military. This perspective, found in "Permanent Change of Station," Zoë Charlton’s work, a collage on wood panel, graphite, gouache, and collage on paper, presents a large scale, multi-layered vignette of interlocking landscapes. Her art features an African American woman in military uniform preparing to launch a toy plane as she overlooks a small town. In the foreground, she places trees, green fields, and a blue house. “This idea of occupying space—whether it’s physically in a space or even how we’re represented in a space—has been very, very important to me,” she told CulturalDC’s Artist Talk. Charlton was born in Florida, where many of her family members remained while others enlisted in the military to leave the South. Her work pays homage to her family’s military travels and her grandmother’s Tallahassee home, with its lush greenery. Charlton was born at Elgin Air Force Base in Florida. Her early life shaped by being a military dependent, she found shares elements of the migrant experience.

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Photo Credit Grace Roselli, Pandora's BoxX Project

Whether by disaster or opportunity, both Richmond-Edwards and Charlton capture the legacy of the Great Migration through their art. These African American women are among those keeping this vital aspect of our history alive and relevant to future generations. To view their works and those of the other ten artists, immerse yourself in their family stories and our shared history in, A Movement in Every Direction: Legacies of the Great Migration at the Mississippi Museum of Art from April 6-September 11, 2022, and the Baltimore Museum of Art from October 30, 2022-January 29, 2023.

Zoë Charlton ARTIST

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Visit msmuseumart.org

SHIFT YOUR SOUL WITH

l y r e Ch

UPLIFT YOUR SPIRIT WITH CHERYL POLOTE WILLIAMSON

TUNE IN EVERY WEDNESDAY @1 1:20

CST

DOWNLOAD THE MAJIC 94.5 APP

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DADDY ISSUES with Tess Alexandria

Adding Healthy Confrontation to My Self-Care List P. 3 4 Cheryl MAGAZINE P. 3 4 Cheryl MAGAZINE

ithin the past three months, it became apparent that 2022 is the year that I must utilize my voice. Thus far, I’ve been unable to shake this feeling I get any time I attempt to refrain from addressing an issue. I can only describe it as a persistent pressing that I can’t ignore. Anyone who knows me will tell you that confrontation has never been my thing—insert my Rex from Toy Story voice, “I don’t like confrontation.” Whenever I face confronting an issue, a level of anxiety rears its ugly head, and I dread even the thought of the conversation from start to finish. I have such a disdain for confrontation. In past times, I have talked myself out of feeling hurt or upset and instead chose to downplay what I was feeling. It was especially true if I were angry because, in my mind, downplaying my emotion would probably make the conversation a bit more amicable. However, as of late, it seems as if I am being presented with scenarios to test how I will handle myself. Whether being more vocal on the job, conversing with friends and family, or sometimes strangers, if I feel slighted in the least, I have to say so. Don’t misunderstand. I am certainly not going around telling off any and everyone. I only mean that it’s becoming clear that I have found my voice and will no longer tolerate letting things slide. I realize that the issue with letting one thing slide is that it can become a slippery slope, and before long, you find yourself letting everything slide. It may seem harmless to brush off a comment here or a “joke” there until you recognize that you’ve allowed a pattern of disrespect. Now said person is comfortable taking advantage of, belittling, talking over, or bullying you. Next thing you know, your voice has become stifled or lost altogether. Unfortunately, I know all too well from first-hand experience. A resulting condition of my personal ‘daddy issues’ was being too tolerant. I developed a tendency to tolerate inconsistencies in my dad’s behavior because I wanted a close relationship with him. Although there were times I was very vocal about my need for him to have

more of a presence in my life, to keep the peace, I would also refrain from addressing certain “touchy” subjects. Regrettably, that same tolerant, “peace-keeping” mentality followed me into other relationships and interactions, both personal and professional. Now at 29, I’m recognizing the importance of vocalizing my thoughts and feelings. I also acknowledge that a great discomfort still exists when I have to stand up for myself. But, each time I’ve done so lately, I’ve felt at peace. It frees me because I’m no longer carrying suppressed feelings and emotions. I’ll admit that I am still new to it, but if you’re like me and have challenges with anxiety or struggle when it comes to speaking your mind, here are some tips that have been beneficial to me: 1. Embrace your opportunities to be vocal, and don’t automatically assume the outcome will be negative. 2. Think of being vocal as an occasion to advocate for yourself. 3. It is easy to think that confronting a situation requires you to snap or “pop-off.” It doesn’t. Feel empowered to state calmly and respectfully what is on your mind. 4. There’s no shame in preparing for the communication and rehearsing what you plan to say. As someone forgetful at times about key points I’d like to discuss, it helps to jot down notes and/or go over in my head what and how I plan to communicate. Remember, confronting doesn’t necessarily mean arguing. Knowing yourself more intimately, assessing and addressing your needs, and learning to confidently and civilly defend yourself, is all a part of proper selfcare. Proper self-care includes effective communication, and effective communication includes healthy confrontation.

Thank you for joining me again for Daddy Issues. Why the name? I aim to reverse the feeling women get every time we hear that phrase. There is a stigma attached to it. It’s often used as a weapon, with the intent to make us feel like we are the problem. Dispelling the misnomer includes providing new information on something that was named before its true nature was known. I’ll attempt to do that in each Cheryl Magazine issue as I address behaviors and characteristics that developed from our father’s lack of skill and ability to bond with, encourage, teach, or support us. To all the young girls and grown women, it was never your fault. The issue was his, and because of your daddy’s issue, you found yourself improperly navigating relationships. Let’s talk about it. For the record, Daddy Issues is an opinion column. I’m not a clinical professional or expert on the subject; I’m just a girl who needed her daddy. If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram: @tessalexandria_ or Facebook: Tess Alexandria. If you have questions or a topic you’d like to discuss, email me at tess@cherylmagazine.com. P. 3 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE

FEATURE STORY

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COLORISM AND THE POWER OF

AFFIRMATIONS

A Conversation With 4x Award-Winning Actor Taja V. Simpson by Sarina Renee Murphy

he has forty productions written, directed, and produced, fifty credits in television and film, and more than twenty years of acting experience. Taja V. Simpson, actor, director, writer, keynote speaker, author, and entrepreneur, talks about challenges before fame, enduring colorism, and the power of affirmations.

Tyler Perry’s The Oval actress, founder, and CEO of The Dream is Real, Inc. and The Working Actors Academy, and author of the international bestseller, “Women Who Shine,” shares in the chapter The Façade of I’m Okay that she grew up in Louisiana during the era of the brown paper bag test. This test was a discriminatory practice that compared a person’s skin tone to the color of a brown paper bag to determine which privileges they could have. The practice afforded lighterskinned people social and economic advantages over darker-skinned people. Taja V. Simpson states, “As a child, and obviously darker than a brown paper bag, I wasn’t allowed in certain homes, I couldn’t play with some of the kids down my street, and I was bullied daily, all because of my skin tone.” Sarina: How did your upbringing roll over into your career? Taja: In hindsight, I loved to play pretend with my cousins. We’d watch movies and act them out. Not knowing then, but knowing now, that I was acting. Never once did I want to be on TV, but that was my passion, which I know now. Growing up, there weren’t any acting classes that could’ve cultivated me. So, I began to put my focus on sports. I was always ahead of my peers and graduated at sixteen. I took my athletic work ethic and applied it to my career. This industry is like the game of sports. You have to understand your opponent, understand the business, and never give up when it’s not going your way. My mom always told me, ‘If you have nothing to stand on, you have your word.’ I took my mother’s words and put them into my approach and this business. I had to realize as an actor that you are a business. When they hire me, they hire my business. This is why I named my company The Dream Is Real. All of what I learned in my upbringing allowed me to put those lessons into my career as a successful working actor.

Despite the challenges brought on by colorism, Simpson emerged as a four-time award-winning actor, acting coach, and motivational speaker. She created TAJ Hair Growth Stimulant and has collaborated to develop the Taja V. Simpson lipstick collection. She’s bold, innovative, and loves the skin she’s in. Taja: Every no is bound to get a yes. My daily practice of affirming myself is what allows me to continue excelling in my life. It took me a long time to get here, but I can proudly say, not only am I grateful for what I look like, I no longer run from the sun. I love being in the skin I’m in. Sarina: Your inspirational approach will definitely make you believe in yourself and realize you can have whatever you dream. Taja: Yep! I’m black, and I’m beautiful. Those were the only two bullets I had in my verbal arsenal. So I simply used them over and over and over again, and it worked! Simpson inspires others to pursue their dreams no P.3377 Cheryl Cheryl MAGAZINE P.

To forgive, you have to get it out. If you don’t, it will affect your life. I had to forgive a family member for calling me ‘ugly-thing’ and talking about my skin color." - Taja

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matter the odds stacked against them. She teaches others to love who they see in the mirror, embrace what they see, and affirm—you are it! Sarina: I didn’t know the purpose behind us initially connecting. One day I shared my story with you, and you helped me learn how to forgive. Care to share your technique? Taja: To forgive, you have to get it out. If you don’t, it will affect your life. I had to forgive a family member for calling me ‘ugly-thing’ and talking about my skin color. I experienced colorism at an early age. It was rooted in me, causing a lack of self-love. In Louisiana, where I grew up, I was bullied for my skin color. Those things stuck with me until, one day, I had to get it out. I wrote that family member a letter of forgiveness. A very detailed letter of how she made me feel. Even as an adult, I was still affected by it. Every time I tried to get to the root cause of the problem, it always pointed to her each time. Writing that letter was therapeutic to me. Matter of fact I wrote two letters to her. I never gave them to her though. I just had to get it out. That was healing for me. It allowed me to let go of the things that were etched in my head. I had to take my power back. In her book, Simpson writes, “Every night I would sit in the tub and pray to God. ‘God, could you just make me lighter?’” Taja: I was a young girl, around five to seven years old. My tub became my only safe zone. Outside of that bathroom, I was living a façade. When I look back now, the worst thing in my life birthed the best version of me, and affirmations are what helped my beliefs. It took me twenty-five years before I looked in the mirror and accepted what I looked like and another five to look in the mirror and love what I saw. Audition rejection after rejection, Simpson was determined to shine. Her perseverance landed her a breakout role in The Bold & The Beautiful and appearances on Grey’s Anatomy, NCIS, Insecure, A House Divided, Raven’s Home, NCISLA, KC Undercover, Lethal Weapon, and All American. Currently, Simpson appears weekly on Tyler Perry’s the Oval—the #1 scripted drama on BET. She recalls her first booking with Perry, just out of an engagement and depressed. Taja: I got up, studied the script, and packed my bags as if I already had the role. Guess what? I got the role! I auditioned for Tyler Perry seven times. Seven is the number of completion. The eighth time I auditioned, I got the part. The number eight is the number of new beginnings. Simpson can be seen as the lead in the female boxer films Lola, #1 on the Tubi most-watched list, and Lola 2, releasing July 2022.

Sarina: Lola is a hard-core no-nonsense woman boxer. How did you connect with the character? Taja: In 2019, I connected well with Lola. As an artist, I’ve always wanted to play a boxer. I’ve always loved the sport and respected it. What inspires me is when women on paper can overcome a journey in their life unscripted. That’s what Lola is to me. As an actor, I’ve lost some things. I had to figure myself out. It’s funny that sometimes, relatable roles find you. I’m a fighter, and I love self-defense. It helped me evolve in my journey. I was in a fighting space in my life, and Lola was therapeutic. Lola was my first lead role. I am the face of the brand outside of production, and for that, I’m forever grateful for Antoine Allen. Antoine wanted a dark-skinned woman for the role. Investors came to him and told him he needed to cast a light-skinned woman instead. Antoine said no and ended up paying for the movie himself. With the movie’s success, the same investors wanted to come around and pay for the Lola 2. Simpson works with and supports aspiring actors nationwide. Sarina: What inspired you to create The Working Actors Academy? Taja: My baby! One of the main goals in this industry is to become a working actor. How to become a working actor and how to get started is the number one question I’m always asked. I started by sending emails on how to become a successful actor and teaching people the business skills needed to be successful. From there, I created a self-paced seven-module system to take you through everything you need to know. The Working Actors Academy will give you the tools to become a working actor. Sarina: Do you have any final words for our readers? Taja: Our words are our magic wands, and the key to living our most vivid dreams sits at the intersection of speaking and believing. Now, when I say I’m okay, it’s not a façade. When I say I’m okay, I mean I am the best version of myself. Connect with Taja at tajavsimpson.com. Entertainment Spotlight by Sarina Renee Murphy, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and creator of Aniras Spices, Global Virtual Mentor with Women Inside Professional Sports mentoring in the U.S., Ghana, and abroad. She is an actress, Super Bowl Red Carpet Host, NFL Danielle Beverly Honoree, Black & Denim Women Empowerment Honoree, Off the Field NFL Wives Association Member, and devoted mother. Connect with Sarina on IG @Sarina_813. P. 3 9 Cheryl MAGAZINE

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Sunshine, everybody loves the sunshine. Sunshine, folks get down in the sunshine. Sunshine, folks get brown in the sunshine. – "Everybody Loves the Sunshine" - Roy Ayers

Sunny Days and Other Ways To Get Some Vitamin D by Maria D. Flowers, MHA

y favorite thing to do in the summertime is to travel to a nice warm beach location, get a good book or some relaxing music, and lay out on the beach in the sun by the ocean. I was born and raised in sunny California. Now, in my new home state of Tennessee, after being cooped up in the house all winter to avoid the cold and dealing with the on-again, off-again rains of the spring, who doesn't look forward to the summertime sunshine? Also, what better way to get some vitamin D?

It is vital to increase your vitamin D intake through various means to maintain healthy levels. In addition to spending more time out in the sun, you can also absorb vitamin D through your nutrition. Foods such as fatty fish, sushi, and sashimi are excellent sources of vitamin D, so eat up. Other foods fortified with vitamin D are eggs, milk, orange juice, and some cereals. You can also take a vitamin D supplement as a pill. It is essential to check with your primary care physician to determine the best daily amount.

Sunshine is one of the easiest, most economical ways to get a little vitamin D. Everyone needs to get an adequate amount of vitamin D, especially if you are an African American. Unfortunately, deficiency in vitamin D is prevalent in African Americans. Some studies show that 82% of African Americans have a low level of vitamin D. The more melanin in your skin, the more it limits the amount of sun our skin can absorb, and increased age limits absorption even more. That is why African American women of a certain age must keep normal vitamin D levels.

The problem with vitamin D deficiency is that it often carries no symptoms. Some people may feel fatigued and experience hair loss, muscle cramps, weight gain, and depression; however, many other chronic diseases also have similar or the same symptoms. If you are unsure if you are deficient in vitamin D, ask your primary care physician to test you specifically for this concern. Depending on how low your levels are, your physician will be able to recommend the appropriate amount you need to bring your vitamin D levels back to normal. The good thing about a possible vitamin D deficiency is that it is relatively easy to diagnose by your physician and can be corrected. Additionally, supplements and nutritional sources are generally affordable and easy to obtain.

This essential vitamin helps the body absorb calcium and phosphate needed for a healthy bone structure. Vitamin D also supports brain health, strengthens immunity, and protects against inflammation. Vitamin D deficiency can lead to chronic autoimmune conditions and rheumatoid arthritis and make one susceptible to chronic inflammatory disease, multiple sclerosis, and dementia.

So, this summer, take advantage of the next bright sunny day and step outside, take a deep breath, and soak up a little sunshine. It is recommended not to lay out in the sun for more than ten minutes without sunblock. Otherwise, take it in! Just a little is all you need, and a little bit goes a long way.

Maria has worked in the healthcare industry for more than twenty years in varying roles across the care continuum. She owns a boutique consulting firm where she speaks and trains national and international healthcare organizations on the impact of racism on disparate healthcare outcomes. Maria is the CEO of a nonprofit organization, Safer Healthcare for All, dedicated to advocating for patients and healthcare workers who experience discrimination in healthcare settings. She is currently completing her Doctorate in Education at the University of Southern California. P. 4 1 Cheryl MAGAZINE

THE GENTLEMAN’S

WHAT WOMEN VOICE SHOULD KNOW

MY JOURNEY IN

Fatherhood by Zachary Spires

y journey in fatherhood has been a long one—a span of three decades and still going. Four children—the first two, ten years apart, and the last two, twin girls, are twelve years younger than their brother. Fatherhood started at twenty-three for me, and finding myself as a single father by twenty-five. Young love is challenging. I was not ready to be a full-time father. My mother once said, "How are you going to take care of a baby, and you’re not taking care of yourself?“ Wow, what a gut check, but the change occurred. Symone and I grew up together. I referred to her as my training baby. From changing diapers and potty training, to combing hair, not to mention keeping the bow box together, was quite a task. A girl dad had emerged, and my nurturing tender side proceeded. Symone is currently an LPN. My son, who bears my name Zachary II came ten years later. His mother and I were never married, but my commitment to his well-being was unwavering. I often drove sixty miles one way to take him

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Photo by: dlb Photography

to school during my time to have him, drove home, and then returned to pick him up later that day. My son eventually came to live with me at the age of twelve. He graduated high school, and after a stint at the local college, decided to join the Air Force. I, too, served in the Air Force. I guess what they say is true; a chip off the ole block doesn’t fly far. Finally, my twin girls were born twelve years later. Raising these girls proved to be my most trying time on this journey of fatherhood. My wife Monica and I planned to have these babies. These would be her first, but I had my share of kids. I was initially reluctant, but I couldn’t deny her of children. We used IVF. At forty-five, once again, I became a father. My wife of four years became very ill after the birth of our girls and had to be air lifted to a trauma hospital in Orlando. She died eighteen days after giving birth to our girls.

forward to the twins. I could handle them with no problems, especially after about five months when they began to sleep through the night. I nurtured my twins Zoe and Zarya in business and prepared them for entrepreneurship, and at age nine, they have their own cookie business, Lady Bugz Cookie Co., named for the nickname their mother gave them. We were on a trip to Atlanta, and during our stay, there was an infestation of ladybugs. It was also on that trip that we found out Monica was pregnant. She took the ladybugs as a sign of good luck and started calling the twins her little ladybugs. The twins have done well in their business. They are happy girls who enjoy traveling and experiencing new things. The three things to know about single fathers:

We had just celebrated our fourth anniversary two weeks before the birth of our girls, and just a little over two weeks after that, she was gone. I found myself truly, in deep uncharted waters. She was so looking forward to being a mother, but was only able to spend a short time with them.

1. His children are his focus. Ladies who are okay dating single dads, don’t feel you have to or attempt to compete with the kids.

Sleeping on the floor with my babies was the only way I could manage. Mourning the loss of my wife and caring for two babies that never seemed to be awake at the same time for feeding—a constant state of grogginess and depression followed. Thanks to God, and my Aunt Betty who checked on us constantly, I persevered.

3. Have patience with us. Life has been challenging enough.

I retired a few years later and found myself as a stay-at-home dad. I didn’t know how much my mother and first daughter had prepared me for this portion of fatherhood. My mother taught me to wash clothes, comb hair, cook, and clean. My mom, a single parent herself, taught me self-sufficiency early. I had a younger sister I looked after because mom would leave for work early, so my lessons on doing hair came at the age of ten. I quickly became efficient in the ponytail game. Fast

2. Check on your warrior friends during trying times. Like the ocean, a lot is going on beneath the waves.

Next time you see a 'Girl Dad,' remember, it's not a fashion or trending statement; it's a commitment of love and life statement.

Zachary Spires is a former Orlando Police Officer who served in the United States Air Force. He is the owner of Crazy Zack's Snack Shack, Inc., famed for Crazy Zack's Popcorn and Crazy Zack's Apples. Connect with Zack on IG @crazy_zacks_apples. P. 4 3 Cheryl MAGAZINE P. 4 3 Cheryl MAGAZINE

the confident woman

The Married Perspective by Nina Wooten

n a world where women don't receive the equal pay they deserve or the rightfully due respect, nothing is needed more now than the confident woman. The confident woman is an advocate for herself, secures the bag, and is difficult to undermine. Let's address the elephants in the hypothetical room when it comes to being confident.

Can we cancel insecurity? Insecurity weaponizes us against us. When we should be shining, it shows up in our thinking, speech, body language, and actions at the worst possible time. Insecurity is over apologizing about things for which no one else apologizes. Insecurity is also when we are not vocal about things we want or deserve because we are afraid to ask or don't want to "bother" anyone. It's in the thoughts, "I don't know if I can or am good enough." Can we just cancel insecurity? Those thoughts and behaviors hold us back from the best version of ourselves. Each of us has a brand of magic, and in the absence of insecurity, we can tap into that magic every opportunity we get. Tap in!

Why are we like this? Now that insecurity is canceled, let's annul the unspoken rule that women are the ones who are supposed to sacrifice our time, dreams, goals, mental health, and sometimes the physical well-being of others. Why are we like this? Assisting others should never mean excluding our desires and passions. It's time to prioritize self-inclusion to promote the balance needed for self-investment

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so confidence can emerge. What aids in producing our best selves is developing a positive body image, creating a mental health routine, and including a daily dose of confidence-building affirmations.

It's time to boss up. You're a giant, so stop playing small. In the song "You Got It" by Vedo, the song's chorus is precisely what we need to hear again and again. Confident woman, it's time to boss up! Whatever "it" is, you've got it and never forget it. Don't you allow anyone to dim your bright light, and don't you do it either. Your dreams, goals, and the world are yours for the taking. We're rooting for you, confident woman!

the confident woman

The Single Perspective by Nikki Wright

onfidence is a superpower. There is nothing like walking into a room and feeling like you own it. Likewise, there is something about going for the job or entrepreneurial opportunity and feeling like "I've got this!" Confidence gives us a healthy focus on "self" and positions us to show ourselves and others what we're made of. Far too often, we let fear drive our decisions. When has being afraid to try ever served us? It's time to channel our inner Serena and hit the court of life like we've got 23 Grand Slam titles in our back pockets.

It's okay to be seen and heard. Even in today's world of many people doing many things, there is still room for us to contribute. It may be easier and less intimidating to defer to the person who always does the talking or takes the lead, but is that what we want? Don't play small. You have a voice, an opinion, and a perspective, so value them. If you don't, who will? We are designed to catch the eyes of others. Our excellence, ideas, work ethic, and kindness are all worthy of attention. Let's toot our horns in those interviews or boldly ask for the coins we deserve. Let's step outside our comfort zones, and yes, wear that bright-colored bathing suit to the beach or pool party. In the words of the rapper Trina, "who's bad!" It's a statement, not a question.

Be one of one. I recently learned of a company, which, since the pandemic, has stopped chasing industry leadership and has refocused its mission on being one of one. It immediately struck me as a mantra with which I could get on board. It's the idea that we no longer focus on what the collective is doing. Instead, we march to the beat of our drums even if

we're the only ones taking a particular approach, a specific risk, or making certain decisions. We confidently take the path of being one of one. When groomed our whole lives to conform, assimilate, or not to stand out too much, learning it's okay to choose our way takes some adjustment. Remember, forging our paths will look different for each of us. It may be deciding to pursue a degree in our 50s, finally starting the business after working in corporate for decades, or deciding you don't want to have kids. It's okay, the paths are our own, and we can tread them any way we want. Let's be one of one. Confidently choose who we are, what we want, and the paths to get there. Nina Wooten and Nikki Wright are bloggers, servant-leaders, career professionals, mentors, and they both serve their communities. Nina is passionate about seeing women and children thrive, and encourages well-rounded living and a life fully enjoyed. Nikki, a philanthropist, avid traveler, and lover of the arts, is passionate about helping teens, women, and singles. Co-creators and co-writers of Wooten & Wright, a lifestyle blog, connect with them at wootenandwright. com, wootenandwright@gmail.com, or on Instagram @wooten_and_wright. P. 4 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE

Give the gift of a future to women who need it most. SOUL REBORN is a 501(c)(3) non-proﬁt organization founded by best selling author, transformational speaker, and entrepreneur, Cheryl Polote Williamson. Through the help of community leaders, inﬂuencers, and volunteers, Soul Reborn focuses on transforming the lives of disadvantaged, disenfranchised, and previously incarcerated women by educating and equipping them with the tools for life and business. The organization addresses both the personal and professional development needs of women who struggle due to hurt, unforgiveness, grief, loss, or low self-esteem.

To Donate Visit Soulreborn.org

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FOXXY WIZDOM

with Charmaine Roots Castillo

Sister, Sister, WHEREFORE ART THOU?

e are our sisters’ keeper. Not only are we the, blood is thicker than water sisters, but also, the love is just as thick as blood sisters. Have you ever had a sister you called in the wee hours of the morning who listened to every word you said before asking, "Do you know what time it is?" Do you connect with the sister who celebrates your wins with a heartfelt "congratulations?" Does anyone besides me have sisters who fuss when you don't ask them for help when you need it? Take a look at your sister circle. Identify those who have consistently shown up in your life. Think about those whose voices you have not heard in a while and call them. Create a block of time in your schedule to connect or re-connect with your long-lost sister—the, I wonder what happened to her sister, or you keep crossing my mind, sister. And never neglect your I will never forget you, sister, for the love you two have shared and the many ways she's touched your life and the lives of others. It took me a few years before I could open my heart to new relationships, including sisterhood. I had gotten burned on numerous occasions, and I could not trust anyone with my heart until I was ready to entertain only healthy relationships. The decision to press pause positioned me to receive a family of sisters who emerged on every front of my life. My blood sister is cut from the same cloth as me, but my work family, church family, business community, and right here in my local community—I am now surrounded by sisters! I salute my sister circle, and so should you. I commission you all to continue showing up for each other by sharing your best gift—your true self.

Live out your heart’s desire, stay true to yourself, and commit yourself to finding a reason to smile. Remember that no matter how dark the storm, we have our sisters to lean on, and when we stand together, there is no stronger force. If you have ever felt alone, look around you. You don’t have to look far; your sisters are right here! One thing about Cheryl Magazine is that it is a kind of gathering place. We are all connected as sisters by and drawn to this particular space. If you can’t look at your physical space, look around this virtual space—you are never alone. Connected by the positive vibe this magazine produces, we enjoy drinking from the same well, and we are all being refreshed. This watering hole is a place where we can come to draw strength and encouragement from each other. That’s what sisters do.

Charmaine Roots Castillo is a creative writer who uses wit and charm to usher in hope, encouragement, and lighter perspectives. Connect with her on Instagram @56silverfoxx.

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FOCUS ON MENTAL HEALTH with Tyreese McAllister

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“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” The last two years of my life resemble the classic line from A Tale of Two Cities.

o one was immune to the chronic uncertainty of our times as the nation struggled through a global pandemic, economic crisis, a politically polarizing election, an insurrection, health issues, debates on masks and vaccines, and a racial justice movement. Of all affected, some were able to rise above it while others required support. Despite the myriad of issues, I found that the best of times outweighed the worst of times, and I am grateful to live in this era because I thrived, as did many other women. The information age has given us many opportunities and resources that teach us about growing our finances, pivoting in careers, scaling our businesses, prioritizing ourselves, and improving our relationships. The best part is that if you are not a self-starter or independent learner, there are plenty of accomplished coaches, therapists, and accountability groups to help you on the way. Women are helping other women and motivating the masses as keynote speakers, authors, curators, and healers, offering everything from developing an abundance mindset to mental health and wellness support to professional development.

There is no shortage of coaches. Coaching can help you reduce feeling overwhelmed, improve your self-esteem, focus on your mission, or stop impairing your success. Building up your selfesteem involves unlearning habits or behavior and thinking you’ve picked up from past experiences. It can be difficult to silence negative thinking and treat yourself with the consideration you deserve. Coaches help you understand who you are and what you want from life by combating your existing negative thought patterns. As your self-esteem rises, you begin to take steps to make your goals a reality.

Counseling can help. Counseling and therapy are synonymous and facilitated by a licensed counselor, social worker, or psychologist. Diagnosed mental illness or trauma that negatively impacts life requires symptom relief and skills to improve relational and situational concerns. This can be accomplished through therapy that provides a safe environment to vent, share, learn new coping skills, and unlearn maladaptive coping.

Treatment works, and many women of color are discovering new strategies to deal with past trauma, mental illness, and life circumstances.

Accountability and support. Accountability is a crucial part of growth. Some pay coaches for this type of support, but you can establish an accountability group if you need a partner or two to make sure you do what you say you are going to do. When we have to answer to each other, we can do things we can’t do by ourselves. Accountability groups help motivate and encourage you, help you stay on task, and inspire you to keep commitments you make to yourself.

Empowered women in society. When women live safe, fulfilled, empowered, and productive lives, they reach the fullness of their potential in a way that benefits them, their families, and their communities. Reaching their potential means everybody wins--their children, community, country, and humanity. Black women are fiercely moving forward, coming together, overcoming obstacles, and making remarkable strides. Ladies, we are no longer waiting for a seat at the table; we have created the table and made room for others, and at last, there are women who look like us to help us get there.

Tyreese R. McAllister, Chief Clinical Officer, and her husband Anthony J. McAllister, Chief Operating Officer, are the owners of Clinical Forensic Associates, a private practice and consulting firm serving the Washington, DC metropolitan area. She and her husband provide training to private, corporate, and local government agencies on mental wellness. McAllister is also a DC Behavioral Health Agency Director, and she has developed self-care go-bags for anxiety, depression, grief, and general self-care. P. 4 9 Cheryl MAGAZINE

Mental Health Awareness

Affirming, Empowering, Educating, and Celebrating Life!

ith an aim to provide quality mental health and consulting services online and in-person, Denise Polote-Kelly and Adrian I. Thompson bring you confidentiality, authenticity, and compassion using the utmost respect and professionalism through Healing Hearts Therapeutic Solutions. Georgia/South Carolina - Are you having challenges managing ongoing stressors and the difficulties of life? If the answer is yes, you are in the right place! We have knowledgeable down-to-earth counselors equipped to handle whatever your situation may be confidentially and professionally. Transitions and traumas at various times in life can become overwhelming, and what most people need is someone neutral to listen and help with processing their thoughts in a positive, safe space. We are so excited to assist you on your journey to healing and healthy living. We specialize in the many issues that women of all ages experience daily and issues that stem from generational trauma and adverse childhood experiences. Our goal is to get you from your past and present traumas to a place of survival, growth, and readiness to thrive. We are here to help you navigate the therapeutic process and help get you on your way to recovery and living the life that you deserve. Our

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professional, caring staff provides solution-based treatment modalities designed to help you identify and address past/present traumas, tackle core issues, and move THROUGH whatever is holding you back from being your best self and LIVING, not just existing! If you are interested in learning more about how we may be a good fit for a therapeutic relationship, please contact us today to begin your journey to selfdiscovery, healing, and recovery. Denise Polote-Kelly is an award-winning bestselling author and project manager. The owner of Recovery Matters, LLC., with offices in Georgia and South Carolina. She is a certified Life Transformation Coach and Grief/Loss Recovery Specialist with ten years of experience concentrating and focusing on uncovering the issues and traumas never addressed. Denise Polote-Kelly is certified and equipped with the necessary tools to help you move from breakdown to breakthrough. She stands on the fact that it all began with her choosing to change, and live to serve others with clarity, education, compassion, and commitment. Adrian and Denise have joined together and established the Healing Hearts Therapeutic Solutions; their team is ready to see you move forward and THRIVE.

For more information, please contact us at 803-2263677 or 912-417-637. You may also email us at ghofga@protonmail.com to get started. Facebook: Healing Hearts Therapeutic Solutions Instagram: @healingheartsts Use code: Heart55 to receive 50% off your first session (initial intake/assessment) Insurance accepted in GA includes: Aetna, BCBS, United Health, Cigna, Medicaid (Caresource, Amerigroup, Peach State) Self-Pay also available Individual Sessions: 30 mins - $65, 1 hour $120 (Includes both in-person and telehealth) Other services include: • Family Reunion (psychoeducation and family activities and discussions) • Teacher Training • Anger Management • Grief/Loss Recovery Workshops • Dancing Mindfulness Facilitator • Life Transformation Coaching • Corporate Wellness/Psychoeducation *** Prices vary with individual personalized packages for the above services***

Adrian I. Thompson is a licensed professional counselor in Georgia and South Carolina. The owner and clinical director for Greater Horizons Counseling with office locations in Augusta, GA, and Aiken, SC. Adrian I. Thompson has over 22 years of experience in the mental health field with a clinical focus on anxiety, depression, and adjustment/stress-related issues (sexual orientation, relationship issues, work or school concerns, women’s issues (balancing work and family), trauma, grief, and life transitions). Adrian I. Thompson’s therapeutic orientation includes aspects of cognitive behavioral, humanistic, mindfulness, art/dance techniques, trauma-focused, and solutionfocused therapies, while incorporating knowledge and clinical experience to set an individual pace for each person based on their needs. Adrian I. Thompson believes that early life experiences shape how we learn and manage challenges that often impact our lives well into adulthood. The goal is to provide empathy and compassion in a safe, non-judgmental space. Visit www.psychologytoday.com. At the ﬁnd-atherapist prompt, type Adrian I Thompson (Aiken, SC) calls or emails accepted.

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AGING WELL

with Patricia Bailey, Caregiver Coach

No Time for Self-Care? I Can Help. Do you talk about self-care but don't have the time scheduled for yourself? Do you need more selfcare, but responsibilities have you bogged down? When you are a triple-decker sandwich and still not enough to fill the need, you know, caught between being a caregiver for a loved one, working a job, and parenting, self-care is a world others live in but somehow may not be your reality. As a caregiver, leaving my mom with extended caregivers when I had to travel for work was stressful. Business travel was a getaway, but it was not a retreat. I no longer had a joyful spirit and positive outlook for weekend parties, shopping, or golf while in boardroom meetings on Friday. Now, Saturdays and Sundays were about her laundry, hair, and praying there were no hospital emergencies. Here are the three simple tips for caregivers to master self-care. Change your mindset: It is not reasonable for you to take on the role of a caregiver and expect selfcare to be easy and doable. Give yourself peace by changing self-care expectations. You will reshape your mind to receive different solutions that fit your circumstances. I turned self-care into simultaneous quality time for both Mom and me. We did hair appointments, nails, manicures, and pedicures together. When shopping or picking up a few things, she loved picking out new outfits. I changed my mindset from thinking our time was an extra burden to thinking of Mom as a weekend companion.

What's in your heart feeds your mind: You are what you think. The engine behind your mind is your heart. Think of the number eight, respective of the mind and heart, constantly reinforcing and feeding into each other. You know the scripture, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he," Proverbs 23:7. What's in your heart sets the foundation for your thoughts. It dictates how you love and live along your journey. Learn to forgive and forget, dream of a caring and happy future, pray and meditate, and give yourself grace as a caregiver that may sometimes get it wrong. Build your willpower. God gave you the ability to renew your mindset and love with your whole heart. When time is not your friend, peacefully will your way through caregiving. Caregiving is truly a journey, not a race. However, you will not be a caregiver for your loved one forever, so pray to build your willpower and bend into the challenge. Pat Bailey’s ascension to caregiver coach, certified belief therapist, and certified dementia practitioner caps a 40+ year career in beauty care, having managed, marketed, and sold seventeen different brands to major retailers. A mother of one son, and grandparent to two, she is a weekend golfer, enjoys yoga, studies biblical history, and enjoys music.

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BUSINESS SENSE & SENSIBILITY

DELEGATE, DELEGATE, DELEGATE!

The Secret Self-Care Sauce While Building a Successful Business by Felicia Brown, Senior Advisor, Entrepreneurship, AARP Remember when you first launched your business? You were knee-deep in strategizing on how to let the world know you were a legitimate business, ready to serve your customers. The leg work may have involved networking, finding suppliers and manufacturers, building a marketing plan, participating in trainings, and looking for funding, just to name a few. In short, building and growing a business is an everyday grind, and it’s easy to neglect self-care. Over the past few years, there’s been significant attention to the importance of addressing one’s mental and physical health. Sometimes when you first launch a business, it can be difficult to take time for self-care, but creating a healthy, sustainable balance in your life P.P.5544 Cheryl CherylMAGAZINE MAGAZINE

is critical to being the best version of yourself for your family, customers, and most importantly, yourself. Once you get your business to a solid place, hire trusted team members and delegate often to allow time to decompress and recharge. Consider creating a manageable self-care routine that includes daily, weekly, and/or monthly activities as you manage and grow your business. The ebbs and flows of being in business are constant, but it’s how you respond that’s important. The AARP Small Business Resource Center (smallbizrc.org) has resources for aspiring and established business owners to help maintain work-life balance and incorporate self-care into their life.

Here are some tips for developing your self-care

plan:

Be sure to incorporate some, if not all, of these key elements into your self-care plan.

Mental – Visit the AARP Mental Health Resource Center at aarp.org, to get tips on managing stress. Talk to

a mental health professional if you need to unpack the pressures of being a business owner. Take time to meditate, journal, or read something juicy to take your mind away from the realities of managing a business. Always try something new and fun.

Emotional – Seek inspiration, keep an open mind, and seek understanding about new and different things. Practice self-love, take time to laugh, and give yourself the grace to make mistakes.

Social – Being a business owner can get lonely. Make space to spend time with people you enjoy and enjoy your company. Support other businesses that you value. Network and meet new business owners and consider adding a social mission component to your business that serves and supports your community.

Physical – Find an activity you enjoy alone, with friends, or other business owners (e.g., bike riding, hiking, running, walking, etc.).

Working Smarter – Find a place and time to take short breaks or take mental health days from the business. Delegate tasks to independent contractors or staff. Maintain boundaries and don’t allow people to interfere with your self-care time.

Identify Barriers to your self-care plan •

What’s keeping you from developing a self-care plan?

•

What are your real or perceived barriers to starting and maintaining the plan?

•

What can you remove or shift in your schedule to actualize your plan?

Hold yourself accountable to the plan • • • •

Write down your self-care plan and post it where you can see it. Share your plan with someone you trust to create accountability. Give yourself some grace; it takes several weeks before the practice becomes a habit. If you fall off the wagon, just get back up on the saddle and try, try, again.

Need help with starting, managing, or growing your business? Visit the AARP Small Business Resource Center at www.smallbizrc.org.

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THE LIST CHERYL'S FAVORITE RESOURCES

Knowing you’re not alone in your business and that helpful resources to take your business to the next level surround you can be a relief. Here are a few of my favorites, from networking to funding.

Goldman Sachs 10k Small Business Program www.goldmansachs.com/citizenship/10000-smallbusinesses/US/#

Women’s Business Enterprise National Council www.wbenc.org/certification

If you apply, use Cheryl P Williamson LLC as a referral.

WBENC is also an approved third-party certifier for the SBA’s Women-Owned Small Business (WOSB) Federal Contracting Program.

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Small Business Administration www.sba.gov intuit.com Intuit is a global technology platform, powering prosperity with TurboTax, QuickBooks, Mint, Credit Karma, and Mailchimp.

Women's Business Center Richmond www.theinstitutenc.org/WBCRichmond The WBC of Richmond provides services for business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs seeking operational, financial, and marketing assistance.

Swain Consulting swainconsultingllc.com Providing comprehensive financial services with an emphasis in Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC).

The SBA has worked to ignite change and spark action so small businesses can confidently start, grow, expand, or recover.

Minority Business Development Agency www.mbda.gov/who-we-are/overview The U.S. Department of Commerce, Minority Business Development Agency (MBDA) is the only federal agency solely dedicated to the growth and global competitiveness of minority business enterprises.

Black Alzheimer’s Brain Study blackalzbrainstudy.com Our mission is to create solutions for a healthier community.

AARP www.aarp.org

Lift Fund www.liftfund.com

AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that empowers people to choose how they live as they age.

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MONEY TALK

with Roni M. Benjamin

I am a financial services professional committed to helping individuals and businesses build a solid financial house and leave a legacy for their children’s children. We would love to talk to you about your specific goals, help you construct your unique economy, and protect or improve your standard of living.

Roni M. Benjamin

Call or text (770) 685-5532

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Money Can’t Buy Happiness, but Neither Can Poverty.

o you desire victory over your finances? If your answer is yes, we must first start with how we view money. Negative money beliefs can hinder your financial growth. Restoring your relationship with money is imperative to becoming financially successful. Let’s dispel some popular negative money beliefs that may be holding you back from the financial progress you desire and replace them with positive affirmations to transform our belief system.

abundantly for my divine purpose such that I can never outspend it.

Money is the root of all evil. This quote is an incomplete and misleading Bible verse. If you examine the bible verse in 1 Timothy 6:10, you see that it says, “For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things…” (NWT). The primary question here is, “Am I putting money above God in my life?” Money alone is neither good nor evil; it’s simply a tool --nothing more, nothing less. Instead, let’s say I am money’s master, and it grows and multiplies on my command. My money is a source of good for myself and others.

As you journey through your growth process to claim victory over your finances, be intentional about tracking every dollar through budgeting. Develop healthy habits to monitor your spending patterns. Block out a day or two in your calendar to conduct your monthly, quarterly, or yearly money review. Determine if your money is doing the job you’ve assigned it or if it’s like an employee that needs a performance plan. Financial experts state that the following are the wisest ways to spend your income:

Money can’t buy happiness. "Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty." – Leo Rosten. Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of other things: a home for you and your family that can be passed down for generations, food so you don’t starve to death, medicine when you get sick, college fees for your children’s education, plane tickets so you can travel and see beautiful places in the world, and much more. We can all agree that money will not directly buy you happiness; having more than enough can make it easier for you and your family to live a complete and happy life. Instead, say that money and abundance flow freely to me as I do what I love. I accept prosperity and abundance into my life. We’ve always been poor. "Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is a temporary situation." –Mike Todd. Some may feel that just because things have always been a certain way, there’s nothing they can do to change it. However, we’ve seen countless examples of rags to riches stories. Oprah Winfrey was born into poverty in Mississippi to a single teenage mother dependent on government welfare payments in a poor urban neighborhood; Winfrey became a millionaire at 32. A.G. Gaston, a poor boy from Alabama, grandson of a slave, became a millionaire during the Jim Crow era. Years before winning an Oscar, Halle Berry once slept in a homeless shelter while trying to break into show business. The truth is, we can all become more financially successful and aim to achieve our dreams. To accomplish this, we must shift our mindset and change our behaviors. As a replacement, say I am open to receiving the abundance. My bank account is filled

There are plenty of other money beliefs that negatively affect our money behaviors. However, once you focus on your strengths and adopt an abundance mindset, you can get out of your own way and achieve monetary success. "Money is a great servant but a bad master." – Francis Bacon.

• • • • •

12-15% Investing for future (retirement income) 6-9% Asset Risk Management (insurance protection) 25% - 30% Expense to income (household expenses) 30% Ordinary income taxes 20% Discretionary (your choice to spend how you’d like)

Use these percentages to gauge your success and be willing to adjust where necessary. Most of all, speak life over your money, run away from negative thoughts about money, and become a master over your money. Commit to these recommendations to declare victory over your finances and live the abundant, fulfilling lifestyle you deserve. Transforming your mindset and changing habits can be intimidating and overwhelming at times. You have help all around you. Reach out to your mentors, life coaches, and family members who have thriving relationships with their money. Rest assured, I am here to guide you every step of the way. I am a registered financial professional committed to helping individuals claim financial victory by building a solid financial house of protection, accumulation, and preservation. I don’t know where you’re located in the world, but if anything mentioned resonates with you or incites you to move to action, I encourage you to reach out to me. Together we can create a plan for you and your family specific to your needs. P. 5 9 Cheryl MAGAZINE

CAREER GLIMPSE

Steeped in knowledge for building better business and creating successful collaborations, Marnese Barksdale Elder adequately and effectively lends her expertise to the meaningful development and progression of every size and level organization.

Excellence in Leadership. Simple Goals. Satisfied Clients.

Dallas - Marnese Barksdale Elder is a fourthgeneration entrepreneur. She has served at the highest levels at several organizations. She has chosen to redirect her talent and expertise toward building strong cultures and careers for Business Owners and their talent. She is a graduate of Fisk University, holds an MBA from Texas Woman’s University, and is a Certified Diversity Professional. Marnese is a successful and collaborative business consultant with a strong record of relationship building. Her value-driven – turnkey approach and her extensive experience leading teams help companies focus on key competencies, including establishing organizational culture, strategy plans, and performance priorities. She is the Founder of Mecca Management Solutions, LLC (Mecca Management). Offering a centered and specified approach, her company is a “Mecca” for Human Resources Services offering multiple areas of expertise through one solution. Her accomplishments include supplier diversity/disparity program development, largescale crises management for c-level turnover, talent management, acquisition, workforce development, and strategy/implementation initiatives for organizational effectiveness. Her experience includes executive-level Human Resources Management and Non-profit Management in the Dallas Fort Worth area. Marnese’s experience is vast and proven - as she has held a wide range of critical roles for a public health system where she served for over 25 years. Marnese has also held leadership roles with multi-state and quasi-governmental entities in the housing and community development industries at the State level and local Housing expertise - positioning her with a broad-based knowledge of business expansion and culture management.

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Marnese has served as President of the oldest Black Chamber of Commerce, where she led day-to-day operations and strategies to support and promote minority-owned business owners. Her lineage is that of three generations of successful entrepreneurs and small business owners - allowing her to lead asset management programs and initiatives. Marnese established Mecca Management Solutions, LLC in 2017. Her successes have yielded comprehensive solutions for small businesses, start-ups, CEOs, Fortune 100 Companies, Non-Profits, and Diversity Leaders to help navigate change, stand up to critical program components, and execute strategic initiatives to produce proven results. Mecca Management Solutions, LLC is a certified minority business based in Arlington, Texas. Much of the company’s initial success is attributed to the business model, providing impactful Human Resources expertise and services at the onset of the client relationship. These services include Executive Search Services, Executive Coaching, Strategic Planning, Human Resources Operating Procedures, Employee Handbook Development, and Employee Relations Services. “Mecca Management’s goal is simple - to help their clients by providing them with the services they need. HR outsourcing is important because it offers an alternative for small businesses that lack the expertise or resources to manage the complexities of HR and or prefer not to hire inhouse staff. In such scenarios, outsourcing HR mitigates risk, business owners gain control, save time, and reduce costs while improving their overall focus.”

Mecca Management provides Strategy Planning for clients to support their culture and operational objectives. These services include:

• Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Strategy Planning • Executive Coaching • Talent Acquisition • Performance Management Coaching • Employee Relations/Investigations • Benefit Plan Design • Open Enrollment Administration • Leave Management Services

MECCAMS.COM

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ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT

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Stay the Course

Sylvia Brownlee of Skin By Brownlee & Co. by Siobhan Davenport

ust seven years after founding her successful Cincinnati, OH-based skincare company, Skin by Brownlee & Co., Sylvia Brownlee signed an agreement with Target in January of 2022 to feature her skincare products on the company’s webpage. Skin by Brownlee & Co. offers everything from acne-fighting cleansers to all-over treatments and seventeen different shades of acne-safe foundations. This is a crowning achievement for any entrepreneur. While Brownlee credits hard work for building her brand; she acknowledges that her success lies in her faith. “I’m definitely a believer of God, and that’s how I start my day. You can’t be successful without prayer, without a higher power, and it’s only by the grace of God that I am where I am.” Brownlee never thought of herself as an entrepreneur. After graduating from cosmetology school, she worked in a high-profile salon for ten years before becoming director of education at a renowned skincare institution. In that role, while working with people who suffered from acne and hyperpigmentation, Brownlee discovered her passion—helping women build self-confidence while loving and caring for their skin. Brownlee has been a licensed esthetician for twenty-six years. During this time, she branched out to start her own business, or what she calls her side hustle, Pure Beauty Skin Bar, which is now Skin by Brownlee & Co. Brownlee rented a space for the few clients that she attended to at the end of her workday. Her director job paid the mortgage and her daughter’s tuition. In 2015, Brownlee’s world changed when she was laid off. “At first, I was shocked. But then I thought, what am I going to do? I was ready to look for a job, but my

friends and family said I should focus my time on running my skincare business. I did try, but I kept asking myself, where are the clients now that I have all this free time?” Brownlee packed up her things, put them in her car, and called a friend who owned the building. Brownlee felt defeated and told her friend the business wasn’t going to work, and it was time to look for a job. Her friend had a different, firmer message and told Brownlee she would make it work. “I was like, okay. I don’t know why I listened to her. I don’t know why I didn’t think twice. I unpacked my car and put my stuff back. I said, ‘Pure, now Skin by Brownlee & Co. has to work’ from that point on. That was my mantra.” From that moment on, Brownlee focused on growing her brand. She wanted to show her daughter that ‘nothing can stop you from achieving your dreams.’ Brownlee attended every networking event in Cincinnati geared toward women so that her logo would be known for high-quality skincare. She advises other entrepreneurs, “Remain dedicated, be consistent, and stay the course. Know that there’s no such thing as overnight success. I learned a lot of great things working for someone else—things I would do for my business and things I wouldn't. Everyone should take a piece of their past and look at how it can enhance their future.” To learn more, follow Sylvia Brownlee on IG @skinbybrownleeandco Facebook @skinbybrownleeandco Twitter @skinbybrownleeandco TikTok @skinbybrownleeandco

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STYLE MATTERS

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lease tell us you’re not still attending Zoom meetings in your pjs in front of a drab background. Ok, we get it. The virtual life became a norm we were not prepared for, and despite the increased number of reopened offices after a dismal two years of sheltering in place, many of you have decided that working from home is the move! Unfortunately, the comfort of working from home also became a mood. If you still participate in virtual gatherings, whether meetings or events, learn to balance fashion and comfort. Don’t let the freedom of comfort make you forget to care for yourself. That’s right. Showing up and showing out, fashionably that is, is a part of self-care. Have you ever heard the phrase if you look good, you feel good? Well, it’s true. Be careful with being too casual for meetings. It can affect how you feel about having to meet in the first place, but more importantly, how you feel about yourself. Every appearance is a representation of you

and your brand. You don’t have to get dressed up every time you join a Zoom, but you should be mindful of your audience and dress accordingly. Speaking of dressing up—ummm—why not? Summer is the perfect time to make the change. You don’t have to get formal, but why not supercharge your personal style. Make them ask where you’re going after the meeting. Make them ask why you’re all dressed up. Don’t let that skincare regimen go to waste. Now is a perfect time to show up in bright, cheery colors fitting for the season that accent your gorgeous skin. Vibrant colors are also known to give you a boost of confidence and energy. Let’s not forget, you’re a WHOLE BOSS out here in these corporate and entrepreneurial streets. Let's look, feel, and act like it. No matter the setting, it’s time for your personal style to represent the boss that you are! Perception is everything, and your style and brand communication matters. Though working from home requires less formal attire, you should still communicate to your audience that you are a professional and an expert. Cheryl Magazine dares you to show up and shine!

3 Things You Must Consider for Your Next Virtual Meeting or Event 1. What you wear matters. Your fashion choice reflects your sense of taste and style, character, personality, and mood. Be mindful that not only is your attire speaking to your audience, subconsciously, it speaks from and to you. Make sure you tell yourself good things about yourself because it will certainly reflect in your appearance, even in virtual spaces. 2. Your overall style includes your surroundings. It matters what your audience sees in the background during professional or social screen times. Your audience sees you and the home or event space behind you. Choose a backdrop, be it virtual or actual, which compliments the authentic you while remaining appropriate for the setting. Show off your style and make a statement while surrounding yourself with elements that present you as the stylish leader, influencer, and creative innovator you are! 3. Lighting matters. Find great light that makes you look awake, bright, vibrant, and like you just had a custom facial. Great lighting also reduces shadowy figures and dark overcasts across your face. Ring lights are still quite popular and come in varying sizes and prices. Find one that works best for you, then: • • • •

Set it and balance your light. Light from the front only, never from the back. Adjust your light position. Make sure you look the part and GLOW!

RESOURCES TO AMP UP YOUR NEXT ZOOM MEETING Here are three sites you can use to find backgrounds to make your Zoom meeting space pop: 1. explore.zoom.us/en/virtual-backgrounds 2. pixabay.com 3. unsplash.com

Lights, Camera, Action! Nothing beats great lighting. This Video Conference Lighting Kit will help to brighten your broadcast. $69.99 Lumecube.com

Make your backgrounds look even better with a green screen. Try this Pop Up Green Screen Webcam Backdrop. $53.53 bannerbuzz.com

PRO-TIP: Spruce it up with plants! Not only will it bring interest to your background, it will help give you a boost of oxygen too! P. 6 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE P. 6 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE

Lasers and Melanin The Unlikely Pair by Hayli Boyd, Medical Aesthetician and Laser Practitioner Let’s talk about Light Amplification through the Stimulated Emission of Radiation (LASERs). Laser treatments have a wide range of benefits for various skin concerns. While laser treatment is a technique that can be used by all skin tones, for years, the Black community moved with caution concerning laser treatments, especially for treating more melanated skin. Whether it’s the removal of tattoos, minimizing body hair, or ensuring healthy glowing skin, African Americans can now enjoy these services with peace of mind regarding the performance, cost-efficiency, and overall time spent in service and downtime. Before treatment, we examine the patient’s skin P. 6P.66 6 Cheryl Cheryl MAGAZINE MAGAZINE

with the help of a Fitzpatrick Scale, a numerical classification schema for human skin color that determines skin type, tanning ability, and which laser is appropriate for each candidate. Non-ablative laser treatments are a non-fractionated laser technique that targets the dermis (inner layer of the skin) and gradually change the skin’s appearance while sparing the epidermis (outer layer of skin) with no damage to the skin’s surface. Anyone can benefit from this resurfacing and rejuvenating treatment if they have acne blemishes, mild scarring, or wrinkles. Some side effects may include redness, swelling, or itching, but there is no downtime.

Intense Pulse Light (IPL) therapy is a gentle, noninvasive laser treatment for those who struggle with acne, melasma (skin discolorations caused by sun exposure), telangiectasia (spider-like veins), or vascular lesions such as rosacea. IPL is also helpful in removing freckles, age marks, and mild to moderate stretch marks. BroadBand Light (BBL), also known as Photofacial, is a more advanced IPL laser treatment. It’s the best treatment for red and brown discolorations in the skin like port-wine stains (permanent birthmarks), more severe melasma resulting in dark skin discoloration, permanent beauty marks, age spots, large pores, and fine lines. These treatments work amazingly for skin resurfacing and can also help stimulate collagen (skin’s protein) production. Laser Hair Reduction is the most popular and effective way to get rid of unwanted hair. The procedure offers quick and easy freedom from body hair. I use the term “reduction” instead of removal because when using lasers compared to waxing, you will start to see the hair follicles gradually become light in color and, in time, fall out on their own. Sporadic hair growth can also occur during the beginning stage of your treatment. Laser hair reduction is a long-term semi-permanent procedure, meaning it is possible for some hairs to grow back but not as thick or coarse. The stages of hair growth are anagen, catagen, and telogen. Anagen is the growing stage, which is the best time for laser hair reduction. The transitional stage is catagen. Hair growth at this stage comes to a stop and can last up to two to three weeks. Shedding occurs at the telogen stage. At this stage, the hair shaft is at rest for about three to four months. Did you know that each square inch of your skin contains 65 hairs? It’s almost impossible for the laser to pick up every hair in the first treatment, so make sure to schedule your appointments every six to eight weeks if you want the best results, four to six treatments are needed for most to achieve desired hair clearance. Tattoo removal is a well-known treatment that quickly fades or removes permanent ink color. The tattoo undergoes a photochemical transformation under a high temperature, making the ink seem colorless. The more treatments, the better.

Pre and Post Instructions for Most Laser Treatments:

• Squeaky-clean skin is the best skin! • For laser hair reduction, make sure to shave

12-24 hours before your treatment to allow proper and effective damage to the hair follicles.

• Antibiotics and other medications, including topical anesthetics, are something to be mindful of when lasering. Medicines are not photosynthesis friendly and can cause you to burn during the treatment.

• Sun exposure is also a hazard for lasering. Try to plan your pool time two to four weeks before and after your laser treatment. Becoming darker due to sun exposure can alter your results. The best way to prevent darkening is to cover the treated area and wear sunblock SPF 30+.

• Women who are pregnant and/or breastfeeding cannot receive laser treatments.

The skin is the largest organ of your body. The top layer of the epidermis is the stratum corneum, where dead skin cells lie and get thicker over time. Exfoliate to reflect light so that your skin can glow. At-home care is more important than the actual service. To maintain results, you must adhere to a strict skincare routine. Protect your investment by using quality skin care products. If you find yourself contemplating which treatment is right for you, I recommend doing your research and scheduling a consultation with a trusted medical aesthetician or dermatologist. Do your future self a favor and get lasered!

Hayli A. Boyd is a medical aesthetician and laser practitioner. She hopes to open a medical aesthetics institute to help others further their education in health and beauty.

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“I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure, but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.” —Nikki Giovanni, Poet, Writer and Activist

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How Good Can it Get?

A message for your emerging adults, late teens through undergrad

by Courtney N. Williamson

remember Senior Night in high school. It was the last soccer game, and during halftime, they announced my name and all of my academic and extra-curricular involvements. At the end, the announcer loudly proclaimed that I would be attending The University of Texas at Austin. Shortly after that game, I received an email saying my admissions portal had been updated with a decision. I checked, only to find out that my application had been somewhat rejected. UT asked that I attend another UT institution and later transfer to UT Austin. I was devastated. I cried long and hard. I struggled with what to do, as many of my friends at the time were a little less than understanding and encouraging while I processed and considered taking the route that UT admissions had proposed. The next day I woke up and accepted that if I wanted to make something happen, I would go for it with everything I had. I attended UT San Antonio and successfully transferred to Austin. I didn’t know then that I had made the best decision I could have for myself. I was so right not to listen to the doubters. I decided that my college experience would be enriching and fulfilling, and I told myself I would go after every opportunity I could, no matter where I was. That mindset shaped me and filled my college years and life with much growth, love, appreciation, and expectation.

I have often shared how I used to want to plan my life out years in advance and how I believed everything would happen just as I planned. As I drew near the end of my undergraduate at The University of Texas at Austin, I realized that many of the things I was doing and the new things I hoped to do postgrad were beyond what I could have previously imagined. Thinking about it took me back to a sermon I once heard about placing limits on our blessings even when we assume that what we want is in line with what God has in store. In connection, I am reminded of a quote I saw on social media: "In your manifestations and prayers, instead of setting limits, simply ask God, “How good can it get?” That statement changed how I thought about post-graduate life and my future. My concentration turned to preparation for every blessing God had in store for me. HOW GOOD CAN IT GET? I encourage every reader to seize every opportunity. If you ever come across an open door that you are unsure of, realize that God doesn’t bless us with specific opportunities unless we already have all the tools and gifts to be ready for them. So, yes, jump into the deep end, try new things, and don’t waste time being complacent. With every moment in this life, ask yourself and God just how good can it get?

Courtney N. Williamson, B. A. Health and Society, The University of Texas at Austin College of Liberal Arts, Honors is co-author of the Amazon bestselling books, The Success Factor and Soulful Prayers. Studious, adventurous, and fun-loving, Courtney says she’s just trying to have a good time on the planet. Connect with her on IG @courtneywillliamson, or email cwilliamson1360@gmail.com.

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#GIRLPOWER

with Traci Henderson Smith

Strength to Live Authentically!

Photos by: Paul Stewart Photography and Marie Cochran

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We approached #GirlPower differently this time. Introducing the Cochran family is a full-circle moment. When we first took Cheryl Magazine to print, I created #GirlPower with them in mind. The idea to present young visionaries, changemakers, icons, and leaders excelling in every field of endeavor placed Chef Simone, who you met in our first issue, and Jasmine and Nahla Cochran in the top two stories I wanted to cover. Each time I prepared to move forward with the Cochrans, I got the feeling, not yet. I didn’t know why until now. Still, and not to overlook the incredible talent of their equally remarkable brother, #NateTheGreat, but, you know, #GirlPower and all, I kept future Olympians #PrincessJasmine, 14-time AAU Track & Field All American, and #NahlaStar, 16-time AAU Track & Field All American and 5-time AAU National Champion in mind. I reached out to their mother, Marie, finally feeling that this summer issue would be a perfect time. “When I got the message to share about my daughters’ rise to greatness; I was hesitant to respond,” she told me. "I would have to say that it may not be the story you are looking for,” Marie continued. She thanked me for the opportunity and explained how that rise to greatness had evolved. That’s when I discovered a story I hope blesses you the way it blessed me, and one I felt only the mother could tell. “In late November 2021, during a family trip, things changed abruptly. Jasmine (11) had been recovering from an injury for the past year, so we were focused on getting our youngest daughter, Nahla, to the cross-country championship a week away,” explains Marie. “During our trip, our 8-time junior Olympian, and 5-time national champion, wrote my husband and me a letter and said she did not want to run anymore. We weren’t surprised, and it wasn’t the first time she had mentioned it. What nine-year-old child running five to ten miles a day and putting grown men to shame with her strength and conditioning regimen wouldn’t complain from time to time? This time was different, though. There was nothing Nahla’s older siblings could bribe her with, and there was no amount of cheese pizza and brownies after her event that would inspire her. I also noticed that Nahla didn’t want us to share her accolades with anyone during our stay in Orlando. She would say that it was ‘too much pressure.’ Too much pressure? I was confused. To witness Nahla run—she made it look effortless. Something was different. I coached her through

her thoughts and found that it wasn’t just a desire for more playtime. She was sharing her heart. My husband John and I are the parents of three children that are very well known in the track community for their skill, work ethic, and extensive achievements. For the past five years, we have traveled all over the nation, been published in magazines, featured on the news, and named our city’s future Olympians. We have had so much support, and we have been a source of inspiration for so many intentional parents. We were fully committed to the expectation of greatness. It was really hard not to keep pushing her.” I could hear the desperation in a mother fighting the demon of public perception and the pressure of expectation. On the one hand, Nahla had parents, family members, the community, full support of her city, and fans across the nation that were all in and had been, from the start, pushing, supporting, cheering, and believing. She would be an Olympian, and she would be their Olympian, and they would all be waiting at the finish line. On the other hand, she was just a child—otherworldly-gifted, but a child. Marie needed to decide between a sure future in track & field and her child’s well-being and mental health. She chose the latter. “I haven’t shared this publicly because I was afraid. I have seen the backlash that superstars like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka have gotten for making decisions against expectations that got placed upon them. Nahla has a long way to go before she’s at that level, but as a mother, naturally, I want to protect her. I was afraid of what people would say about our daughter and her future. I was afraid of what they would speculate about our parenting. I was afraid of the rejection she may experience not living up to what others thought she should be. As I wrestled with these thoughts, I realized I was trying to protect our child from a fear of rejection that she hadn’t learned yet. I knew that our response to her request to stop running competitively would either train her to make it a priority to live up to the expectations of others or teach her, courageously, to be her authentic self. As tears run down my face sharing this, I realize I still struggle with feeling like I am enough as a woman, wife, mother, and entrepreneur and that those feelings stem from my childhood experiences. They are rooted in my parents’ P.7711 Cheryl Cheryl MAGAZINE MAGAZINE P.

approval or the lack thereof. I still get caught up in projects and missions, trying to prove to myself that I am enough. I still catch myself looking to fulfill expectations that others have of me. I knew that I was at a pivotal point in my child’s rearing and was one answer away from creating that same monster in my daughter. I couldn’t do it. I chose to fall back and allow her to show me how freedom from the bondage of expectations looked. Nahla is now freely living her best life. When asked why she is not running, I can see the expectations of others rise within her. I remind her that she is not the label of future Olympian or any of her championship titles. She is not the sum of what she does well or even what she no longer chooses to do. She is Nahla, #NahlaStar Cochran. She is a star no matter what.” Nervously, Marie shared her daughter’s choice for self-care and disengagement from the thing most felt made her great, not knowing that the theme for our summer issue is self-care and its importance and that this story is what we needed. Girl power shows up in many forms, and at times it is in the

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strength it takes to choose us over everyone. Thank you for this lesson Nahla. I wish I had had the guts to choose ME at your age. It would have made such a difference in my life. Marie says Nahla still wakes up for 5 AM workouts a couple of times a week and outruns everyone around her. Periodically she speaks of running again, but who knows. Jasmine is recovering well from her injury, and it looks as if she may have taken a page from her sister’s book, as she has not yet decided whether or not to step back on the track. In the meantime, both girls have joined their local YMCA and are exploring swimming, soccer, and fitness. More importantly, they are exercising their right to discover all that they are without the pressure of outside expectations. They are defining themselves for themselves and declaring that they are far more than one thing done well. That’s #GirlPower if we’ve ever seen it. Jasmine and Nahla Cochran, Cheryl Magazine salutes you and wishes you all the best for the future!

WE GO BEYOND FAIR TRADE

FOR GLOBAL IMPACT & AWARD-WINNING RESULTS Proudly Black-owned, Alaffia is on a mission to alleviate poverty and advance gender equality in West Africa. Our unrefined shea butter, baobab oil and African black soap are handcrafted at our women-led Alaffia Village Co-op and then blended into our clean, plant-based skin and hair care collections.

alaffia.com

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Green Thumbs & Life Lessons An exciting way to engage your child this summer while teaching basic spiritual and life principles. by Traci Henderson Smith

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t’s not too late to plant a garden. A summer garden is perfect for a fall harvest. Gardening is also great for bonding with your children. Growing a garden can be a fun and exciting activity for children. There is something about the reward of seeing first sprouts break ground. A garden project also creates an opportunity to teach your child several principles that can strengthen their belief system and faith, and cultivate family and other personal relationships. Plant a garden this summer and share lessons with your child in:

 Creation  Listening and Paying Attention  Following Instructions  Obedience  Caring and Nurturing  Patience and Trust  Kindness and Gentleness  Sowing and Reaping  Sharing Some simple, easy-to-grow veggies are: beefsteak tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, Tiny Tim tomatoes, cucumbers, string beans, lima beans, onions (green or yellow), lettuce, cabbage, and greens. Herbs include: parsley, chives, oregano, basil, and thyme. Peppers, peanuts, carrots, potatoes (white and sweet), and a favored flower are also great ideas.

Let's Get Growing!

Save the Bees Terracotta Grow Kit Available in Forget-Me-Nots, Zinnia, Cosmos, Daisy, and Coneflower. $9.99 buzzyseeds.com

Kids Gardening 16-Piece Tool Kit makes it easy & fun to get your little ones into the gardening — no green thumb or big backyard needed! Use code: Cheryl25 for 25% off your purchase. $29.99, backtotheroots.com

"In The Garden" by Emma Giuliani From season to season, children follow the life of a garden as each page reveals new treasures hiding under lift-up flaps. $19.59, amazon.com

I Can Grow Flower Kit This fun DIY kit includes a variety of cute colorful self-adhesive stickers that can be used to decorate your plastic pot. Plant, water and watch your flowers sprout and grow! $15.99, kidscoloringco.com P. 7 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE

Wonderful Water Wonderland Wonders Works! by Traci Henderson Smith

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ry saying that five times fast. Water fun; it is the always-thrilling way to engage your child with the kind of fun the whole family can take pleasure in, and it WORKS! Water fun is the therapeutic family answer you never knew you needed. For families with school-aged children, summers are about vacations, laughter, and fun times with the kids before it’s back-to-school time. More important than finding something for the youngsters to do is pulling quality out of the quantity of time you have with your child. It really isn’t that difficult to touch the heart of a child. Just remember when you were a kid, and either do with them the entertaining, productive things you loved most when you were their age, or do the things you always wanted to but didn’t get the chance. A day at the beach can be one of the most exhilarating, inexpensive family adventures you could have. Sandwiches from the house, some fruit, a few bottles of water and juice, a football, and a Frisbee, and you just made memories that could last a lifetime.

It’s FUN! And believe it or not, your kids would rather have fun with you than anyone else in the world. The best part is, after all the fun and the children are full on fantasy and organized craziness, you can now have what you want. Now it’s time to sit or lie around and talk about the day’s events. The timing is also perfect for slipping in conversations about life, friends, right decisions, and even the dreaded conversation—the crush. Enjoy your summer with the kids. Whether it is water fun or some other escapade, remember they’re only young once, and don’t stay young very long. Here’s a cool way to announce to the family that exciting water amusement awaits. Play a word game using Wonderful Water Wonderland Wonders. How many words can you make out of Wonderful Water Wonderland Wonders? If you have enough participants, create teams. Sweeten the deal by adding a timer and a prize. The winner opens the prize to reveal the announcement that the family is headed to whatever water park or adventure you’ve chosen. Let the fun begin!

Do you want to see a child’s face light up? Put a Slip n’ Slide in the backyard, hose it down, and add their favorite bubble bath to it. You will become the hero of the house! Not only will you fill your child’s day with uncontrollable laughter, but a run or two with you tumbling, legs in the air, will quickly remind you of what it’s like to be a kid again without a care in the world. Water parks and other theme parks with water attractions are also great this time of year. Many communities now have water amenities or pools for family enjoyment. If you have not taken advantage of this treat, don’t wait another minute. Ask the kids if they’d like to have a picnic by the pool. I am sure you will get a resounding YES! Why water? When you’re talking backyard fun or a day at the beach, it’s easy, uncomplicated, and inexpensive for the parent. And nothing beats being the one to bring a smile to your child’s face. For children, water fun combines stress relief with invigorating adventure. It fulfills the need for fantasy and inconsequence. They get to do something they could never do normally, and it’s freedom. Have you ever looked at the face of a child, running top speed, wind in their hair, dripping wet from head to toe? Come on. You hear the shrieks and laughter now. You just went back to the time when you, with all abandon, belly-flopped or cannonballed into the deep end of the swimming pool. P. 7 7 Cheryl MAGAZINE

t u o k o o C

Mastering the Summertime fun is never complete without a good old-fashioned cookout! Between DIY sites like Pinterest, Juxtapost, and Foodgawker, backyard barbeques have gotten a lot fancier over the years. However, no matter the size of the back deck you build, how well your garden party lights are strung, or how gorgeous your surprise twist on traditional favorites is, by now, you know what we at Cheryl Magazine have to say about it—just make sure the food is GOOD! Nothing says waste of state-ofthe-art grilling station like not knowing what to do on it. Whether you’re throwing a down-home family gathering with everyone’s favorite socks-and-sandals-wearing uncle and a smoking grill as your focal point, or as the queen of the barbie you’ve planned a lavish, yet cozy outdoor soirée for friends, here are some surefire recipes and tips to help make your spread unforgettable. We solicited the help of staff photographer and self-proclaimed grill master Damon Barnes to teach us a thing or two about grilling. He says your new phrase this summer should be, indirect heat!

“I don’t use any charcoal or lighter fluid, I use all natural wood.” –Damon Barnes, staff photographer

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FEATURE STORY

SMOKED CEDAR-PLANKED SALMON Ingredients: Salmon filets Olive oil Favorite seasoning Instructions: Cover salmon filets in olive oil and a favorite seasoning. Place in freezer bags and place in the refrigerator for several hours to marinate. Prepare the grill: Natural char wood Flavored water-soaked logs Soaked cedar planks Fire starter

Instructions: 1. Use the starter to light the char wood. Once the char wood becomes white, place a soaked log or soaked wood chunks on the char wood. You may use a number of wood flavors such as pecan, cherry, or maple, but cedar is best for salmon. 2. Smoke your salmon with indirect heat. With heat on one end of the grill, place salmon on a soaked cedar plank on the other end. Beneath the salmon, place a cleaned can filled with water. The water below the salmon helps to keep it from drying out. Use a remote electronic thermometer to monitor the inner temperature. Once the inner temperature reaches 145°F, remove salmon and serve. To store leftovers, place in Tupperware to lock in the flavor and moisture.

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In a word—indirect heat! It works for all your grilled selects. The process is the same for that aromatic fragrance, smoky taste, and moist tenderness of any main course. How about a nutty show-stopping twist on a traditional cookout favorite?

PECAN-SMOKED BARBEQUE BEEF RIBS Ingredients: Slab of beef ribs Olive oil Favorite seasonings and/or dry rub Favorite barbecue sauce Instructions: Rub the slab of ribs with olive oil, your favorite seasonings, herbs, spices, and rubs. Wrap in plastic wrap and marinate for 24-hours in the refrigerator. Prepare the grill: Natural char wood Water-soaked pecan logs Fire starter Instructions: Light the char wood with the starter. When the char wood becomes white, place a soaked pecan log on the char wood to one side. Place the slab of ribs opposite the heat to smoke the ribs with indirect heat. Beneath the ribs, place a cleaned pan filled with water, the length of the ribs to heat, smoke, and retain moisture evenly. The water keeps the ribs from drying out. Use a remote electronic thermometer to monitor the inner temperature. Once the inner temperature reaches 200-205°F, remove the ribs and serve dry rubbed or finished with your favorite barbecue sauce. Other wood flavors, such as cherry or maple work as well.

Photo by: Damon Barnes, dlb Photography

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We admit cookouts are all about the grill—meats, seafood, and veggies just taste better straight from the fire, but there’s always room for incredible side dishes. Who can pass up a great summer salad?

WHO MADE THE POTATO SALAD? Ingredients: Yukon Gold, Klondike Goldust, Russet, or Red potatoes Your favorite mayonnaise Chopped hard boiled eggs Diced celery Diced red onion Diced green pepper (red and yellow too if you’re fancy) Sweet pickle relish 1 part yellow mustard 1 part coarse ground Dijon or spicy brown mustard Paprika Garlic salt Garlic powder Onion powder Salt Black pepper

Celery seeds Fresh chopped parsley or dill (garnish) Instructions: Cut desired amount of potatoes and start them in a pot of cold water. Add a pinch of salt and bring water to a boil. This ensures that the potatoes cut evenly. Once potatoes are desired softness, drain. Be careful not to overcook or potatoes will turn out mushy. When done right, potato salad is the definition, of soul/ comfort food. Its ingredients are seldom measured, but rather added to taste. Mix in all ingredients in desired amounts, adding a pinch of celery seed, and dashes of garlic salt, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, and paprika. Fold ingredients, tossing lightly for a full mix without smashing the potatoes. Top with fresh parsley or dill and more paprika and serve.

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GRILLED ROMAINE CAESAR SALAD Ingredients: Olive oil Whole heads of Romaine lettuce Thinly sliced red onion rings Croutons Instructions: Cut heads of romaine lettuce in half lengthwise. Keep the stem intact for ease and to help the head of romaine hold together on the grill. Rub slightly with a tiny bit of olive oil. Grill over medium-low heat, until the dark grill marks show. Dressing ingredients: Olive oil Garlic cloves Anchovy paste Dijon mustard Photo Courtesy of The Moder Proper

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Worcestershire sauce Fresh lemon juice Cayenne Parmesan cheese Instructions: In a mixing bowl, generously rub halved garlic cloves inside the bowl covering the inner sides and base of the bowl. Add other ingredients and whisk until the dressing is totally emulsified. Plate grilled Romaine. Dress generously with Caesar salad dressing and top with crisp croutons, Parmesan cheese (freshly shaven preferred), and red onion.

French Macarons with Southern Finesse

cherenemacarons.com | Nationwide Shipping | Wholesale | Corporate Gifting Photo byFrancesca Bean

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AUTHOR'S CORNER

Restored: From Mourning to Dancing by Kerry-Ann Zamore Fraizer

I felt a heavy thud against my face, and then hot tears stung my eyelids as I winced in pain. I looked into his eyes, and I saw it - this man hated me, there was no love, no caring, no compassion, and no resemblance of the man I called my husband for thirteen years. Rather, his face contorted into that of a raging beast, eyes red as a seething volcano, nostrils flared in anger, teeth gritting in disgust, fist fixed for combat. His chest heaved heavily; I felt his hot breath against my neck. “You bitch!! I hate you, get out of my house or I'll drag you out!!" Before I could react, I felt the stinging pain of my hair being pulled from its roots as he proceeded to drag me across the floor. How did I get here? Oh, God is he going to kill me? What will happen to my children if I die? I can't die like this. I had to fight. -Excerpt from Restored: From Mourning to Dancing, pg. 21 Dr. Kerry-Ann Zamore Frazier is a licensed clinical social worker, university professor, transformation speaker, and expert in social service issues such as domestic violence and child abuse. She is a skilled and experienced anti-racism facilitator trained through the Casey Foundation and People’s Institute. Restored: From Mourning to Dancing is available at kzamore.com.

Readi- Set Go!

by Stephanie A. Wynn Running a business means living with uncertainty on a daily basis and not having a steady paycheck. If most of your friends work a typical nine-to-five job, they may be uncomfortable with the lack of structure and long hours with little reward that you as a small business owner will deal with when starting out. As a small business owner, it's important to understand that not everyone will agree with your vision. They may not understand why you're working so hard with little to show for it. It’s important to surround yourself with people who will support you, even if they don't understand you. People will often tell you to follow your dreams, but they want those dreams to be well paying and stable. Unfortunately, dreams with the biggest rewards often don't fit into this category. Don’t let their lack of support or understanding discourage you from your dreams. -Excerpt from READI – SET GO!, pg. 3

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Stephanie Wynn, founder of Stephanie A. Wynn Business Solutions™, a branding, marketing and business development company for aspiring entrepreneurs and business owners, is the host of the five-star podcast “Let’s Talk Business with Stephanie™” and creator of the “I’ve Started My Business Now What?™” Workshop Series. READI – SET GO! is available at stephanieawynn.com.

The Business of Live Streaming: 4 C's to Expanding Your Reach by Sherry Bronson

As a person who enjoys speaking oncamera to my audience, I must say it takes practice and more practice. I have to be transparent with you about overcoming the fear and nerves in the belly to speak confidently on-camera. When I first started public speaking, my heart would be racing, my hands would shake, and my legs would tremble slightly. Of course, I had rehearsed my message and was very familiar with the content that I was about to deliver. Once I would get through the introduction of the message, I would start to relax and delivered my message with clarity and positive impact. By speaking consistently, I eventually overcame the fear and all of the nervous symptoms diminished. -Excerpt from The Business of Live Streaming, 4 C’s to Expanding Your Reach, pg. 14 Sherry Bronson, founder of Bronson Media, is a television host and producer, media trainer, live stream consultant, speaker, and author. As a motivational speaker, she delivers powerful life changing messages that speak to the heart of any audience. The Business of Live Streaming is available at amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

Souled Out Vol 2.: Inspirational Stories on Beating the Odds With Radical Faith & Prayer by Danette M. Brown, MSOP

There is no handbook on being a parent, especially being a perfect one, because every child and parent is different. I remember my mom telling me, “Being a parent is a lifelong reasonability; there is no expiration date.” Life’s trials and tribulations do not prepare you for unexpected crises. The crisis that rocked my world was when my daughter became sick, and I felt helpless as a parent and a human being. When my daughter became sick, I was in disarray and denial. I cannot believe what was happening to my energetic, dream-chasing, motivated, talented, non-judgmental, beautiful, and loving child who has a heart of gold and always wants to help people. She has the biggest smile that lights up the world and everyone loves her. But her health was declining right before my eyes. While I was suffering on the inside because I did not know what to do and I was still in disbelief. --Excerpt from Souled Out Volume 2, pgs. 25-26 Danette Brown is a two-time bestselling author and CEO of Calabey Enterprise and PVO Positive Vibes Only. Souled Out Volume 2 available at danettebrown.com.

Out of the Belly: 21 Day Devotional by Kenesia Mouton

Many times we find ourselves in a predicament, such as Jonah did. God allowed the whale to swallow Jonah whole, but it was disobedience that granted the opportunity for the incident to occur. We are no different than Jonah in this day and time. We want to do things the way we see fit, flow the way we want to flow, being selfish and self-centered. This all too often leads to a path of destruction and demise. The enemy already desires to swallow us whole, trying to trap us in the belly of hell, which is also referred to as Sheol, or the grave. Just as Jonah, when we find ourselves in desperate situations, we become conscious of God’s presence and His faithfulness. We can cry out to Him and He will answer us to deliver us. -Excerpt from Out of the Belly 21 Day Devotional, pg. 139 Apostle Dr. Kenesia Mouton, author, and certified life coach, is co-founder of Manifested Manna Uncontaminated Ministries with her husband, Pastor Jeffrey P. Mouton. She holds a doctrine in both Christian Counseling and Theology from Empowerment Theological Seminary in Sacramento, Ca. Out of the Belly 21 Day Devotional is available at amazon.com or drkthepusher.com.

“No black woman writer in this culture can write “too much.” Indeed, no woman writer can write ‘too much’…No woman has ever written enough.”

-bell hooks

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Delivering...we’ve built our reputation on it. With over 35 years of service, Pat Mathis Construction was founded on two basic principles: exceptional performance and diligence. These traits have been the foundation for building solid client and support relations when conducting business throughout the southeast. Pat Mathis Construction provides the following services: general contracting, program management, construction management and construction consulting services. Setting the standard in value-added service is the key to Pat Mathis Construction.

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Cheryl Magazine | Summer 2022

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Cheryl Magazine | Summer 2022