Child magazine | DBN August 2016

D U R B A N ’ S

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

p a r e n t s

‘h’ word new research on the the

pros and cons of

homework

sugar, salt & fats get up to s pee

help, my son hates sport! learn to play to his strengths

d with the ne w laws and labels

what’s really going on with

attention-seeking children?

education spotlight on

play & learn

www.childmag.co.za

August 2016

free

health

design and technology comes to life in your city

education

entertainment

If there is joy, anything is possible.

We have had an overwhelming response to our Education issue. It is clear that parents and schools are taking the role of educating children more seriously than ever. Over the past few weeks I have had the privilege of talking to a number of school heads, teachers and parents. Competition is fierce, the demands on our children increasing, projects and homework pile up and technology is a moving target. Everyone, it seems, is feeling the pressure.

At a recent parent-teacher meeting, I was chatting to my daughter’s maths teacher.

My daughter has been sick and missed 28 days last term, but still managed to write her exams. This wonderful man gave feedback on her marks, which he thought should be higher. My husband and I had our own questions. “Does she love maths? Does she love coming to your class? Does she show respect to you and her peers?” In other words, was she really being educated? We had just met with her English teacher, and the answer, to our questions, was “Yes!”. Finding the right educational path for your child is not always easy and I have realised, involves ongoing assessment.

There is a school in Cape Town that works off the premise, “If there is joy, anything is possible”, and I have to agree. Can you imagine children in all under-resourced schools attending classes where the teacher is “joyfully” teaching them, and the principal is eager to open the school early, to make sure all the children have text books, desks and a solid roof over their heads? How different would our society be, and the fate of our children?

Our job as parents is to educate our children to the best of our ability. It starts from the moment we find out we are pregnant, and where we go from there is one of the most important journeys we will travel with our children. There will be detours and even dead ends along the way, but the destination that comes from a lifetime of learning, will be our most precious gift to our children.

May our “Spotlight on Education” shine the light on your path this month.

Lisa Mc Namara, Publisher

Hunter House P U B L I S H I N G

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor

Child magazine Online

childmag.co.za Online Content Manager online@childmag.co.za

Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Resource Editor Tamlyn Vincent • durban@childmag.co.za Copy Editor

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Free requested Apr 16 - Jun 16 Durban’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R220, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Durban’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy.

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please recycle

magazine durban

August 2016

3

contents 22

what’s on in august 3 a note from lisa 6 over to you readers respond

8 best for baby – soothing your sick baby Tammy Jacks speaks to the experts on how to get your baby to sleep during congestive nights

features 12 should we scrap homework? can a no-homework policy in schools really work? Samantha Page investigates

15 a fusion of taste in her book, Flavor’s, author Shanaaz Parker shares recipes rich with local taste

16 sport, no thank you not all boys are into sport. Samantha Page looks at ways you can encourage them in other fields, in this sport-mad country

18 do you hear me? all children crave attention, but some go overboard. Glynis Horning gives advice on how to deal with attention seekers

health

11 dealing with difference – do you get the message? the need for speech therapy intervention is growing. Lucille Kemp looks at the most common issues and how parents can deal with them

20 a good read for the whole family 21 resource – design trends breed a love for architecture and design in your children by introducing them to these structural gems in your city. By Tamlyn Vincent

22 what’s on in august 25 next month in child magazine

10 what the law says new legislation on sugar, salt and dairy can help us fight lifestyle diseases.

By Tamlyn Vincent

regulars

26 finishing touch planning an event is not one of Anél Lewis’ strong points.

Not even a child’s birthday party

classified ads

7 pregnancy news – tipping the scales it’s important to keep your weight within a healthy range when pregnant, says Lucille Kemp

25 it’s party time 26 family marketplace

this month’s cover images are supplied by: Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Joburg – Roedean Graham de Lacy roedeanschool.co.za Cape Town – St Mary’s DSG Kloof Craig Scott Photography iti.ac Pretoria – St Andrew’s School for Girls standrews.co.za Durban – Highbury Preparatory School hps.co.za

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August 2016

magazine durban

magazine durban

August 2016

5

letters

over to you

don’t judge, just feed I’ve had a bit of a crazy ride with my blog the last couple of days and it’s led me to kick-start a campaign to promote positivity and support for women who bottle-feed their baby, whether it’s out of necessity or by choice.

I think something needs to be done to help stop the judgement and criticism of bottle-feeding mothers. This isn’t an attack on breastfeeding – it’s simply the first time anyone has tried to start a network to support bottle-feeding mothers. There are so many reasons why women bottle-feed their baby. I want to say: “Hey, it’s okay if you have to bottle-feed your baby. You are just as amazing as any other mother out there.”

Breast or bottle, all mothers are doing their best by their baby. The division and debate of “Breast vs.

Bottle” shouldn’t even exist.

Holly Leppard (#dontjudgejustfeed)

the point of vaccines With regards to vaccination, I feel that there is a chunk of information that is missing. I am raising a

Follow us on twitter.com/ChildMag, facebook.com/childmag.co.za and pinterest.com/childmagazine

6

August 2016

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

vegan child. I have been vegan for eight years and counting and my husband for 10 years. We had an enormous battle in the hospital when we refused to vaccinate our son due to the ingredients of the cocktail not being vegan-friendly. In order for the ingredients to be active, eggs have to be used and bovine (taken from pig hooves) is also added. Due to our Hebrew/Israelite faith, and as stated in the Torah, we do not touch anything that comes from a pig.

As an alternative to vaccines, we strengthen our son’s immune system with natural supplements to prevent our son from being sick or catching viruses, which is the same objective of vaccines.

I find it offensive when someone mentions that their child caught a disease from an unvaccinated child. What then is the purpose of vaccines? How can you blame the unvaccinated child, when you were guaranteed that your vaccinated child would be safe from diseases, but he wasn’t? It doesn’t make sense. My child is very healthy, goes for his check-ups and reaches his milestones as every other child his age.

Thembakazi Matsebatlela

your voice online in response to “canine conundrums” Parents should wait until their children are old enough to take responsibility of caring for a dog, such as walking the dog, bathing and feeding it.

Anonymous in response to “education 101” Hell will freeze over before I will allow any government department or institution to decide which school my child should attend. The new system is ridiculous, with no logic behind it, as some learners are assigned to schools not even remotely close to their feeder areas.

More people must start complaining about this new “initiative” to mess up the education system even more.

Arlene

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We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters.

The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

magazine durban

tipping the scales

pregnancy news

LUCILLE KEMP learns that watching what you eat is never more important than when you’re pregnant. Start by getting your information from a professional. the culprits

curtail the problem

Excessive weight-gain in pregnancy is usually among women who start out overweight, says Cape Town specialist dietician Annchen Weidemann. They can become diabetic, which means that in their third trimester they’re going to gain a lot of weight because there is a high insulin response.

“It’s also your living habits. There’s so much involved in not only how we eat and when we eat, but who we eat with – how much we eat when we are with (or not with) those people,” says Weidemann.

Cape Town gynaecologist Jacky Searle points out the incorrect beliefs that exist: “energy needs are not increased in the first half of pregnancy, and only increase slightly in the second half, so one does not need to ‘let go and eat for two’.” Also, snacking small amounts frequently best alleviates the nausea of early pregnancy, says Searle, but this unfortunately often leads to excessive weight-gain.

Searle says that pregnant women with impaired glucose tolerance and diabetes often complain of sugar cravings, and giving in to these perpetuates the cravings, and weight gain. Once they alter their diets appropriately, these sugar cravings tend to disappear.

Weidemann says that if you must, indulge in your cravings a little, but don’t binge on chips. Have an extra fruit or another serving of veg, or maybe some ice cream.

Spread your weight-gain so there’s a certain amount in your first, second and third trimester. Look at the distribution of meals, and take away late evening snacking.

“Do more with the three meals than between three meals as this is most effective for sugar regulation and insulin production,” says Weidemann.

It is important to address the problem while pregnant, and, in need, seek help from a dietician before your third trimester.

When you become a mom life changes,

magazine durban

says Weidemann, and if your life changes along with 20kg or more, it’s worse than if it’s going to change at your normal weight.

increased risks from excessive weight

weight-gain guideline

to mom

The increase in body weight in the first half of pregnancy, says Searle, is due to a buildup of fat and an increase in blood volume (note, there is a 150% increase in blood volume throughout your pregnancy).

In the second half of pregnancy, the increase in weight is due to the baby, placenta, amniotic fluid and fluid accumulation in the mother. The “normal” fluid accumulation in pregnancy weighs 1,2kg, and the normal amount of fat gained in pregnancy is 4kg, details Searle.

“For a good size baby, we’re talking a 6,5–7kg weight-gain in the mom, especially if you started your pregnancy overweight.

We’re definitely not talking 15–20kg anymore.” No longer must you gain a certain amount of weight to produce a healthy baby, says Weidemann.

✻✻ miscarriage ✻✻ high blood pressure ✻✻ pre-eclampsia ✻✻ clotting ✻✻ impaired glucose tolerance ✻✻ gestational diabetes ✻✻ induced labour ✻✻ longer labour ✻✻ instrumental or Caesarean delivery ✻✻ wound infection and death. to baby ✻✻ prematurity ✻✻ congenital abnormalities ✻✻ macrosomia (a very big baby) ✻✻ shoulder dystocia at delivery and stillbirth Compliments of Dr Jacky Searle

August 2016

7

best for baby

soothing your sick baby Whether it’s a cough, cold or bout of teething that’s keeping your child awake at night, chances are you’re pretty tired too.

TAMMY JACKS speaks to the experts about ways to cope

hile we all suffer from the sniffles now and then, studies have shown that it’s not unusual for babies and young children under the age of eight, to contract up to 10 viral colds a year, especially during the colder months. And with the average cold lasting up to 10 days, that’s a long time for your little one not to feel well. The good news is, “When a baby gets a cold, the immune system produces antibodies to fight, it which lingers to make the immune system strong enough to fight the next infection, says pharmacist and complimentary medicines expert, Giulia Criscuolo.

However, a cold can make your child feel pretty uncomfortable, thanks to nasty symptoms such as fevers, congestion, coughs and runny noses. This often means a string of sleepless nights for both you and your little one. So what can you do to survive the winter and get some much-needed shut-eye? Criscuolo has the following tips…

8

August 2016

soothing strategies ✻✻ Keep your child’s room warm but not too hot as this can worsen congestion. ✻✻ Use a cool mist humidifier with a few drops of eucalyptus, tea tree, lavender or thyme oil and run it for a few hours at night and during your child’s nap times. ✻✻ Place a thin pillow between the crib springs and the mattress, so the mattress is slightly inclined to help the mucus drain down the throat. ✻✻ Treat fevers by placing your child in a lukewarm bath or sponge him down with lukewarm water. ✻✻ Ensure your child stays hydrated and gets enough fluids throughout the day and at night. This will help his body fight the infection. ✻✻ Make a natural chest rub by mixing one or two drops of eucalyptus, rosemary, peppermint and lavender essential oils into a carrier such as coconut oil. Rub a small amount onto your child’s chest and under his feet.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

w

with congestive nights.

tips to treat teething pain How babies experience teething in the first two years can vary widely, says paediatrician at Life Fourways Hospital, Dr Dewald Buitendag. If your child seems abnormally fussy at night, has white, puffy gums or is drooling excessively, there are a few things that you can do to soothe his teething pain: ✻✻ Rub his gums with a clean finger. This gentle pressure can ease his discomfort. ✻✻ Let him chew on a cold teething ring or dummy.

These should be cooled in the fridge, not the freezer. ✻✻ Some parents find that amber teething necklaces ✻✻ To soothe a sore throat, make a hot water drink with a dash of turmeric, lemon juice, honey and ginger. This is only suitable for children over a year old. ✻✻ Herbal teas such as oregano, sage and thyme also relieve the symptoms of a cold. ✻✻ Chicken soup, for children six months and older, provides essential nutrients for the immune system.

skip cough and cold medicines Most over-the-counter medicines to treat coughs and colds aren’t recommended to children under the age of two, says the American Academy of Paediatrics. This is because many of these products contain more than one ingredient, increasing the chance of accidental overdose and side-effects.

As an alternative, they recommend using a simple bulb syringe and saline nasal spray to clear stuffy noses plus plenty of TLC. Caring and comfort is one of the best medicines for your child.

magazine durban

relieve teething pain. There is, however, no convincing scientific evidence that these work, says Buitendag. If you decide to use one, your child shouldn’t suck or chew on it, as this can cause choking. ✻✻ Try teething gels and powders. A small amount rubbed onto his sore gums has a brief numbing effect. Make sure these are sugar-free and specifically made for babies. ✻✻ If your child won’t settle at night, paracetamol and ibuprofen are safe to use for mild pain and fevers associated with teething. Paracetamol can be used from three months of age and ibuprofen from one year of age, adds Buitendag.

when eczema is the culprit In their book The Allergy-free Baby and Toddler Book (Vermilion), Charlotte Muquit and Dr Adam Fox say irritated skin leads to itching and then scratching, which leads to more irritation. “Bear in mind that itching is a particular problem when your child is asleep because conscious control of scratching is lost and you are not there to stop them,” say Muquit and Fox. They suggest to reduce skin irritation, use cotton clothing and bedding, mild detergents and mild prescription soaps and shampoos. Also keep your child’s fingernails short, the bedroom cool and try putting mitts on his hands at night-time to prevent excessive scratching and rubbing.

Before bedtime, Muquit and Fox suggest to give your baby a lukewarm bath with a non-soap replacer.

After you’ve patted your baby dry, apply steroids and wait at least 30 minutes before you use moisturiser or emollient. They say steroids must be prescribed and you must follow the directions precisely. Also don’t apply steroids just after moisturisers as steroids create a barrier over the skin and stop the moisturisers from working. When choosing skincare products for your baby, speak to a dermatologist who will prescribe a regime personalised for your child’s skin. It is impossible to prescribe a particular emollient for your baby, and you’ll have to find out which ones work through trial and error. But, in general, stay clear of any products that contain perfume, soap, alcohol or those that are abrasive. Muquit and Fox also suggest to consider using antihistamines to promote sleep and reduce scratching at night, but always seek medical advice first.

August 2016

9

health

what the law says

stats you should know

1 in every 3

adults in South Africa suffers from high blood pressure.

New regulations on sugar, salt and dairy can help combat the steady rise of lifestyle diseases.

TAMLYN VINCENT looks at what you need to know.

sweetened beverages, which include carbonated drinks, noncarbonated drinks such as sports drinks and juice concentrates, dairy fruit mixes and sweetened fruit juices.

The amount of tax charged on sugary drinks has yet to be finalised and it will probably affect the price for consumers, but it’s also likely to encourage companies to add less sugar to drinks. Trix Trikam, executive director at the South African Sugar Association, says that the sugar industry will engage closely with government on the proposed tax on sweetened beverages. She adds that “the South African sugar industry promotes a healthy, balanced lifestyle and supports the fight against obesity.”

salt

The label “low fat” applies to local dairy products with a fat content between 1,5% and 2,5%, but that is changing.

To bring dairy products in line with international standards and codes of practice, they’re being reclassified. They’ll now fall into five categories (high fat, full fat, medium fat, low fat and fat free) to ensure that there is continuity with global packaging and food contents, says Yumna Frizlar from Parmalat.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends a daily limit of 5g of salt, but the Heart and Stroke Foundation SA (HSFSA) says that on average South Africans consume more than 10g. Most of this comes from hidden salt; the salt added to processed food during manufacturing, found in items like chips, cereals, breads, processed meats, cheeses and ready-made meals. what’s the problem?

“Too much salt can raise blood pressure,” says Jessica Byrne, a registered dietician at HSFSA, which can lead to strokes, heart conditions, kidney disease and blindness.

Reducing salt intake can help prevent an estimated 220 fatalities from heart disease and strokes every day.

New legislation that has been in effect since June 2016 limits the amount of salt added to food items. The amount of sodium that is allowed in different foods depends on the food. Bread, for instance, is only allowed a maximum of 380mg of salt per 100g by June 2019. Flavoured potato crisps (not including salt and vinegar flavour) can have up to 550mg of sodium per 100g. The hope, says Byrne, is that this will reduce the amount of salt we eat by 0,85g every day, which will translate to a predicted 7 400 fewer deaths each year from heart disease and stroke, and a saving of R300 million in healthcare costs.

dairy

why the change?

The reclassification is more focused on conforming to international standards, so there aren’t any health implications. The products remain the same, but low fat items will now be classified as medium fat. Some brands have chosen to launch new low-fat products, but others, like Parmalat, have chosen rather to relabel products as medium fat.

The regulation has come into effect and consumers can already see changes in labelling on some dairy products.

But manufacturers have until the end of the year to fully implement these changes. Dairy products must now also include an ingredients list, “best by / use by / sell by” dates and a batch code indicator on the label.

making smart choices Consumers can play a more active role in leading

sugar Would you ever add seven teaspoons of sugar to your tea?

That’s how much sugar you’ll find in drinks like ice tea, energy drinks and other sugar-sweetened beverages, says the HSFSA. We get a lot of sugar from our diet, but there is also added sugar that we get from processed foods.

a healthy lifestyle: ✻✻ Buy fresh: choose foods that are fresh and haven’t been processed ✻✻ Read the labels: look at the ingredients list. If salt or sugar is one of the first three items, the food is likely to be high in this.

what’s the problem?

Too much sugar can lead to weight-gain or obesity, and increase the risk for diabetes, heart disease and certain cancers, says the HSFSA. The sugar tax, planned for April 2017, is intended to decrease the number of sugary drinks we consume and help combat the rising rate of obesity.

The tax could help reduce obesity and bring in additional revenue for the government. It will be imposed on sugar-

resource: 10

August 2016

is responsible for

50%

of all strokes in South Africa.

South Africa has the

2nd highest

number of deaths due to sugar intake in the world. Mexico has the highest number.

In 2012, South Africans consumed an average of

285

Coca-Cola products per person.

✻✻ Courtesy of HSFSA

milk and yoghurt content per 100g

Previous

As of 2016

high-fat

4,5% ≤ 4,5% < full-fat

3,3% ≤

3,3 – 4,5%

medium-fat N/A

1,5 – 3,3%

low-fat

1,5 – 2,5%

0.5 – 1,5%

✻✻ Look out for the Heart mark logo: foods with this have to meet strict nutritional criteria. ✻✻ Choose healthy drinks: drink water, water flavoured with a small amount of fruit juice

fat-free

1,5% ≥

0,5% >

or fresh fruit, fruit juice diluted with water or unsweetened milk.

Find out how much salt you consume in a day: saltcalculator.co.za

✻✻ Courtesy of Parmalat

|

Information on sugar and health from the sugar industry: youandsugar.co.za

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

f

ast and convenient – that often sums up the food we eat. Ready-made, frozen foods, takeout, a quick bowl of cereal, and we’re all set with our weekly meals. And if we feel our energy flagging, we grab an energy drink. It’s hardly surprising, given our busy schedule.

But this lifestyle is killing us. Noncommunicable lifestyle diseases are on the rise and the prognosis isn’t good.

Obesity, diabetes and strokes are putting a strain not just on our health, but also that of the country’s economy as it deals with increased healthcare costs. While consumers should be more active in making healthier choices, government is also introducing new measures to help turn the tide on lifestyle diseases.

Hypertension

dealing with difference

do you get the message?

There is a growing need for speech therapy intervention and, on the advice of the professionals, LUCILLE KEMP seeks to equip you to address your child’s communication issues, from an early age. a common problem

what parents can do

Delayed speech and language is the most common developmental problem in children, says Joburg-based speech and language therapist Beverley Ordman. “A growing number of the 0–3 year old population is not developing the early speech and language skills, as they should be. By the age of 12 months they’re not saying single words yet. By the age of 18–24 months they are not starting to combine words like ‘me go’ or ‘want cookie’ and by the age of three years old we’re not getting the small three- to four-word sentences,” says Cape Town speech and language therapist Carianne Vermeulen.

Articulation errors, such as a lisp, and stuttering or dysfluency in the early years is also quite common, says Ordman. Vermeulen also sees more children with poor listening skills and many children don’t know how to make sense of what they hear, and we learn speech and language by what we hear and understand.

Vermeulen sees a growing number of children on the autism spectrum who have difficulty with speech and language development, and the social use of language (pragmatics), which includes knowing that we take turns when we communicate and that we make eye contact.

In children six years and older, issues include language-learning disorders, articulation disorders, as well as auditory processing and phonological awareness disorders, points out Vermeulen.

Children who make the greatest strides in speech therapy are those with supportive and involved parents, says Ordman. Vermeulen shares a few take-home activities: ✻✻ Interact Ditch the TV and tablet, and engage in face-to-face interaction. This will teach young children to initiate conversation, keep a conversation going and take turns instead of sitting passively in front of a screen. Important to note that establishing successful communication begins long before a child actually starts speaking. When a baby cries and the mom responds with “Oh, you’re hungry. Let’s give you milk”, they are hearing language and associating it: when they cry, you respond. ✻✻ Talk them through an activity The better the child’s able to participate in the activity, the better their language-learning will be. Your child is crawling to the bucket with water and soap, follow them there and talk about what they are seeing. ✻✻ Respond with enthusiasm Research has shown that when an adult responds promptly and enthusiastically to their child’s message, it encourages the child to engage further and develops their language more. ✻✻ Add language to your child’s experiences “Yes, the door is broken. It’s broken because Daddy pulled too hard on it”. Talk to them about what they are busy with, “Oh, Daddy sees you’ve got the scissors and you are cutting; cutting out the big circle”.

Talk to them about what you are busy with: “Look, mommy’s cooking. First I’m going to add the butter, then we’re going to stir and then we’re going to fry”. ✻✻ Wait for a response Research shows that it’s best to wait seven to 10 seconds. ✻✻ Don’t over-correct The better option is to model what we want, without making it negative for them. “Yes a s-s-s-nake.” ✻✻ Treat your child as a full communication partner Always be one step ahead to encourage them to extend themselves, in a manageable way. If your child uses twoword combinations “mommy come... daddy sit... car go” add one word – “mommy is coming”. ✻✻ Read books Instead of reading word for word, keep it interesting. Talk about the pictures, make the voices of the characters in the pictures and let your child do the voices too. ✻✻ Ask open-ended questions So, “What did you read today?” and “Who did you play with?” You can always use their answers to elaborate – “Oh so you played with Jason.

What game did you play?” ✻✻ Talk about your day This works well with children who stutter as it takes the pressure to talk off them. Talk and wait to see what they give back, if they don’t, you can guide them with open-ended questions. ✻✻ Repeat the same words often Research shows that a child has to hear something about 100 times before they will attempt saying it. ✻✻ Give your child positive reinforcement Remark when, for instance, your child comes up with “truck”, and until this point everything has been “car”. *Name has been changed

the importance of early intervention A child’s critical language-learning phase takes place around the first five or six years of life, says Ordman. Therefore, early speech therapy intervention is crucial for children battling to develop communication skills. Early language skills underpin subsequent reading and writing skills, and are necessary for a child’s future success in their academic and personal lives, so it’s important not to ignore any sign that a child’s communication development may be delayed and to seek professional help as soon as you detect a problem, says Ordman. “If it was important enough to bring up with your paediatrician, then it’s important enough to get a second opinion from a speech therapist,” says Vermeulen.

A delay of six months is not necessarily fixed in six months. It can often only be made up in one to two years, depending on the child’s potential. “The sooner we start, the bigger the chances of helping children develop age-appropriate skills, especially before they enter the school system when they have a whole host of things keeping them behind,” advises Vermeulen.

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

what to expect from therapy A solid treatment approach will consider your child’s individual strengths and weaknesses, and your child’s family and support system will be included. Vermeulen started seeing Gareth* when he was just over two years old. Apart from the word “Mommy”, and various sounds and gestures, there was nothing and he wasn’t responding to therapy. “So I told his mom to bring his four siblings to the following week’s session.

While it was challenging, I was able to assess him as, with his siblings around, he was responding to my prompts.” Speech therapists will also involve parents or caregivers in the treatment plan as carry over of new skills into the everyday environment is the ultimate goal of therapy.

If your child presents with any type of speech or language delay, you will be advised to first have your child’s hearing tested as it is one of the major causes of language delay, particularly in the preschool population, says Ordman.

Usually therapy is once a week, but there are disorders for which intensive therapy (3–4 sessions a week) may be recommended. However, your therapist should be sensitive to the cost of therapy. “Running on one session a week, Gareth’s mom reinforced my therapy sessions by working intensively with him at home, and two years later, fouryear-old Gareth, who has childhood apraxia of speech, is able to use short sentences intelligibly, more often,” says Vermeulen.

A typical session will last between 30 and 45 minutes and will be interspersed with play and reinforcement time.

When dealing with younger children the therapist will aim to achieve all the goals set out for your child before schooling begins. “If we get to pre Grade R and see that the child’s not going to be able to mainstream we refer to an educational psychologist,” says Vermeulen. magazine durban

Talk about the pictures, make the voices of the characters in the pictures and let your child do the voices too. helpful websites For activities (0–3 years old): mylearningbabyguide.com To find a speech therapist near you: saslha.co.za

August 2016

11

education

should we

scrap

homework?

The body of complaints about the volume of homework children have to contend with, continues to grow. Many parents are starting to wonder whether homework has any merit and whether a no-homework policy can really work.

here are more tears today as I suffer through the umpteen examples of “perimeter” my son has for homework. He has had a long day and so have I, and neither of us has the patience or resolve required to tackle these mathematical conundrums.

Yesterday it was the mass of Afrikaans that needed to be consumed for his weekly assessment on Friday, and the day before he was stressing about the research for a natural science project, studying for exams and assessments, and preparing for an oral that all seem to have converged on Tuesday. We are both frustrated, but I know that I’m not alone.

Judging the discussions that regularly ensue in the school parking area, most parents feel that their children are overburdened with homework. “Does it [homework] even serve a purpose?” asks one strident mom. “My older son had to do 20 maths problems for homework and his teacher didn’t even check them.” A commiserating dad says he wishes children had more time to just be children. “When you come home from school, the last thing you want to do is more work,” he adds.

how effective is it?

In an interview last year, education commentator and vice-chancellor of the University of the Free State, Prof Jonathan Jansen said homework could reinforce learning. “Like all good things homework can be abused, and too much work, or meaningless, repetitive work, serves no purpose at all,” he explained. “Homework can be an instrument for enriching classroom learning, connecting class learning to domestic lives, and providing

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August 2016

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

t

SAMANTHA PAGE investigates.

opportunities for practise, to children who struggle with the limited time available for instruction in a school day.”

But the issue remains contentious among parents, teachers and educators.

“Homework is a black hole,” says Etta Kralovec, an associate professor of teacher education at the University of Arizona South and co-author of The End of Homework: How Homework Disrupts Families, Overburdens Children and Limits Learning, commenting on the rising movement to implement a no-homework policy at schools. Kralovec’s statement may be true, but while international research points to homework having little or no benefit to enhancing learning or performance, there has hardly been any research on the subject in South Africa. However, after an investigation of South African schools’ websites and brochures, the Mail & Guardian summarised the possible advantages as: ✻✻ increasing learner’s knowledge and improving their abilities and skills; ✻✻ reinforcing what learners have already learnt; ✻✻ preparing them for future lessons; ✻✻ providing ongoing opportunities for parents to participate in their children’s education; ✻✻ extending what they know by having them apply what they have learnt to new situations, or integrating their abilities by applying many different skills to a single task.

“I’m not disputing the merits of homework,” says a Durban mom, “it’s the volume and seeming lack of guidelines that leave most parents questioning its effectiveness.” This opinion is supported by Dr Beverly Killian, head of the Child and Family Centre at the University of KwaZulu-Natal’s School of Psychology. “Homework does have a place for practising skills, role learning and developing self-esteem, but families lose time together if the load is excessive,” says Killian.

Take a quick poll among your friends and family with children and you will discover that there is a great deal of inconsistency regarding the amount of homework assigned by South African teachers, even by teachers at the same school. While the accepted guideline is 10 minutes of homework a day for each grade (10 minutes for Grade 1 and 60 minutes for Grade 6), this scale is mostly not applied in SA schools.

Local educational psychologist Anel Annandale commented on her blog that studies show that if pupils go past this prescribed maximum they get burnt out and their level of achievement drops.

smart learning In July last year, the homework controversy kicked into a new gear when Gavin Keller, the principal of Sun Valley Primary in Cape Town, announced his school was implementing a no-homework policy and “redesigning the way we teach”.

“We became very aware of the increased level of stress in our homes over the past few years. Irrespective of class or level of employment, our parent cohort was experiencing a working environment that demanded more time on-task and this led to parents having less time available to assist children. The curriculum demands and teaching methods have changed over the years, leaving parents feeling unable to assist. Further, teachers were not assessing the homework given because they never knew if the learner completed the work or if the parents contributed.

“We wanted to create time for children to play and read. Creativity and innovation are directly linked to the amount of time we allow the brain to be in a non-focused state. ‘Aha!’ moments – when you experience sudden insight or discovery – never happen when the pre-frontal cortex is engaged in active learning. Innovation happens when the brain is in automatic, unconscious, mindless mode. Time had to be created for play and the natural response to play is rest – and what better way to teach children to rest, after a lot of learning and play, than with a book, so homework was bartered for a commitment to 20 minutes of reading, seven days a week.”

Keller cites brain-based or SMART learning, practised very successfully in Finland, as a source of inspiration for the school’s policy. He summarises SMART learning as: state Set the state of the brain before you teach it. Your environment determines your capacity for neural connections. meaning If there is no meaning, the brain doesn’t learn. Few learners saw the meaning in homework. It may have meaning for a 60-year-old educator, but it has no meaning for 21st-century children. attention Teachers need to learn to catch and keep attention. retention Retaining information is about gluing that information so that neurons can connect them and create meaning. transfer Great learning happens when a student knows how to transfer the information through analysis and synthesis, and use it in different contexts.

“Too often South African children can only regurgitate information, and these environments produce a fixed mind-set,” says Keller. “Challenging environments develop a growth mind-set and that’s what we are desperate to achieve.”

But what about learners who have learning deficits and need extra reinforcement? “My son has ADHD and after school, it’s hard to get him to focus on homework for another magazine durban

August 2016

13

education

Innovation happens when the brain is in automatic, unconscious, mindless mode. hour or more. Often, he has to complete work he didn’t finish in class, his homework and studying. We both end up defeated,” says a Cape Town mom.

“We all process information at different speeds, depending on our interests. No amount of extra work closes a learning gap,” explains Keller. “Learning gaps are closed by finding different neural paths to connect data. This requires intensive teaching by a professional, not a parent. (Apologies, but parents make the worst teachers.) Reinforcement is a myth. The word we use in brain-based teaching is repetition. Good teachers repeat the information in all the modalities for learning, for example, visual, auditory, reading and kinesthetic (touch).”

Whether or not schools have a no-homework policy, teaching methods and teachers are key. In Finland, classes are capped at 12 students per teacher so there is plenty teacher interaction. All Finnish teachers are required to have a Master’s degree and they are constantly reviewing their methods. According to SMART teaching, if one method fails, they consult with colleagues to try something else. They believe the challenge is to find out how each student learns and to teach them according to how the learner’s brain is wired.

“This is an extremely tall order,” says a Durban teacher. “I teach in a poorer area and I have 40 children in my class, so it’s hard to get around to each student and spend time with each one. I’m not happy about it but sometimes we just have to do the best we can.

Often homework is not done because their parents can’t help them.”

Killian also adds that the type of homework prescribed by various schools contributes to the educational divide when parents do not have the same resources or access to educational tools like the internet, books or magazines.

So where do parents go from here? Keller says he challenges any school to show him a better teaching and learning climate. Six months after the no-homework policy was implemented, learners were happier and clearly flourishing, and that ensures their brains are ready to learn and store the necessary information in the cortex.

But South African schools are not all as progressive as Sun Valley and it doesn’t appear homework is going to be entirely discarded any time soon. So until more innovation

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August 2016

is applied to homework, parents should ask for clearer guidelines from their children’s teachers and school, say contributors to the Mail & Guardian survey. Parents can also promote responsibility, time management and independent effort even if they are not able to physically assist. Moms and dads should bear in mind that children learn from informal excursions or projects that can improve creativity, so they should plan more of these kinds of activities.

While homework may be scoring an F on many fronts, parents, teachers and school heads can give it a passing grade by implementing clear and sustainable guidelines, keeping the learner’s environment and resources in mind and by striving to see homework as an opportunity to learn, grow and thrive in school and beyond.

how does a no-homework policy work?

“The policy is no uniformed homework, which is work that has been assigned to the entire class and is to be completed by a set date,” says Gavin Keller. “Under pressure, a teacher can ask for permission to assign research tasks at home, but only the research may be done at home and the work in class so that we can assess the task effectively. Preparation for an oral is allowed. We also write formal assessments four times a year, from Grade 4 to 7. We write for four days. Two weeks prior to Assessment Week, a revision timetable indicates what must be studied during the home-time study period. This is to teach students how to plan and study for assessments. We believe writing exams is not a life skill. After our undergraduate degrees, we no longer write exams, so we are teaching learners a survival skill – how to survive high school and tertiary studies.”

magazine durban

taste

book extract

a fusion of

In her book, Flavor’s, author SHANAAZ PARKER embraces the abundance of ingredients we have around us and shares her flavourful recipes.

butternut and sweet potato in mango curry sauce serves 4–6 ingredients ✻✻ 1kg firm half-ripe mangoes, peeled and flesh cut into chunks ✻✻ 1 large butternut, cut into chunks ✻✻ 3 medium sweet potatoes, cut into chunks ✻✻ 30ml lemon juice ✻✻ 60ml butter, melted ✻✻ 30ml oil ✻✻ 1 large onion, chopped ✻✻ 3 green chillies, finely chopped ✻✻ 15ml garlic paste ✻✻ 5ml ground coriander ✻✻ 10ml ground cumin ✻✻ 10ml chilli powder ✻✻ 5ml tikka spice ✻✻ salt to taste ✻✻ 250ml fresh cream ✻✻ 100ml chopped coriander

method In a processor, blend mango till smooth; set aside in a small bowl.

Place butternut and sweet potato in a large bowl of water, adding 30ml lemon juice.

Keep aside.

In a large pot, heat oil and butter; add onions and chillies, and braise until golden.

Add spices and blend with the onion, adding 250ml water.

Bring to a slow boil till fragrant.

Drain water from vegetables and add only sweet potatoes to the pot.

Cook over low heat for 7–10 minutes till just tender.

Add butternut and mango puree, and cook for a further 5–7 minutes till all vegetables are cooked through and soft.

Add cream to the pot and simmer till sauce is thick and gravy-like.

Sprinkle with coriander before serving.

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Serve with Basmati rice and sambals

crunchy black forest dessert with custard cream makes 6

about the book Shanaaz Parker has authored five cookbooks, and she

ingredients ✻✻ 1 packet chocolate crunchy biscuits ✻✻ 50ml almonds, flaked ✻✻ 2 punnets fresh cherries, stones removed ✻✻ 500ml strawberry juice ✻✻ 60ml castor sugar ✻✻ 100ml strawberry jam ✻✻ 6 whole cherries with stems for garnish method Beat cream, icing sugar, custard and essence in a bowl with an electric mixer until soft peaks form.

Chill in refrigerator.

In a medium pot, add cherries, strawberry juice and sugar.

Bring to a boil over low heat, stirring until sugar dissolves.

Add jam and simmer till fruit becomes soft and juice thickens to a syrup, taking care that the fruit does not break up.

Sprinkle half of the almonds into the base of each glass, reserving the rest for later use.

Top with biscuits, then add the fruit mixture, dividing equally between the glasses.

Sprinkle with reserved nuts.

Finally top with custard cream and place a cherry in the centre.

1 PHOTOGRAPHS: C&D Heierli

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5 6 7 8

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Custard cream: ✻✻ 250ml fresh cream ✻✻ 125ml ready-made vanilla custard ✻✻ 30ml icing sugar ✻✻ 5ml cherry essence ✻✻ 6 tall dessert glasses

is well-known as a vibrant and informative radio food presenter.

She

has

also

been featured on SABC in educational

and

cultural

programmes in the culinary arts, as well as managing cooking shows on SABC’s Ramadaan

Kareem.

In

this book, she underwent another adventure in the culinary

arts,

combining

the old and the new, and producing a burst of flavours.

The

savouries

section

includes such treats as Mini Chilli Mustard Tuna Quiches and Potato and Shrimp-filled Parathas.

In the section on pancakes, prepare to make Coconut and Almonddipped Pancake Triangles or Tiramisu Coffee Pancakes. She gives you flavourful recipes with meats, chicken, fish and vegetables, as well as a colourful section on chutney and desserts. Flavor’s is available at all good book stores and from spgoodfoodstudio.com for R195. Also find out about Shanaaz’s cooking and baking classes for adults and children.

August 2016

15

parenting

sport,

no thank you While the world assumes all boys love sport, enjoy playing games and compete with enthusiasm, there are some who cringe at the mention of teams, tackles and tries. Samantha Page wonders if parents should call time-out on forcing boys into sport when they

a

have no interest.

blog post earlier this year on The Huffington Post declared: “No, my son doesn’t play sports and really, it’s okay.” The author, psychotherapist and writer Kerry Foreman, felt compelled to write about her son’s lack of interest in sport when she realised that most people don’t know how to talk to a boy who doesn’t play sport. “Our society is programmed in a way that a boy who doesn’t play sports is an anomaly,” says Foreman. “What can we possibly have to say to a boy, if we can’t ask him about football, basketball or soccer?”

Boys who are not interested in sport, or who are athletically challenged and uncoordinated, find themselves a stranger in their own boyish land because since they aren’t playing the games everyone else is playing and enjoying, or following professional leagues and players, they become harder to relate to.

The heroes of the non-athletic are more likely scientists, musicians, artists, authors, animators and gamers, and their fields of interest are possibly books, construction toys and other creative pursuits.

Most parents have heard all the arguments in favour of sport, and there’s no denying the obvious benefit of improved physical health. In addition, a media statement from the Department of Basic Education in 2014 stated that “sport provides challenges and adventures, fills vacuums and gives meaning and a sense of purpose to people’s lives. Participation, irrespective of the level at which it occurs, can build self-respect, self-esteem, confidence and enhance leadership capabilities.” But is there an equal amount of disadvantages?

“Sporty children seem to be well-liked, are more popular and more powerful than those who struggle with physicality,” says a Cape Town mom whose son is not a natural sportsman, but attends a school that places high value on being involved in, and excelling at, sport. “My son feels that his lack of interest in sport leaves him at a disadvantage with the teachers and learners at his school and I can see that it has affected his confidence.”

Eleven-year-old Jamie* says, “I am always chosen last when teams are decided during physical education.

Nobody wants me on their team because the other boys know I can’t help them win. I really try to bowl the ball or

score goals – to fit in – but I never quite get it and I just end up looking silly. Sometimes I even ask my mom to write a note excusing me from class, so I don’t have to go through the humiliation.”

The pressure to not just participate but also excel on the sports field is becoming more and more prevalent, which adds to the burden non-athletes experience.

“Competitiveness in schools is partly due to schools increasingly being seen as business units that compete with one another for pupils,” says Dr Jason Bantjes, psychologist at Bishops Diocesan College in Cape Town, in a magazine article on school sport. “Boys also buy into the idea: ‘Where am I in the pecking order?’”

Bantjes also makes the point that parents sometimes add to the high level of competitiveness in sport and that some parents see their children as extensions of themselves and attach heightened importance to their children’s achievements or take personal credit for what their children do. As a result, many South African boys on the brink of manhood have the perception that the worth of a man is measured by what he achieves.

Despite the countless arguments in favour of encouraging your son to participate in sport, regardless of his ability, what if the pressure of an unfair playing field is too much?

What if he is overwhelmed by the aggression and the noise? What if he feels that sport highlights his weaknesses and that, instead of building him up, it’s breaking him down.

Shouldn’t his parents help him select an activity that is more suited to his personality?

For many years, renowned psychologists have been making a compelling case for playing to your child’s strengths as a vital developmental strategy. “So much of what goes on in our society works to pressure people into meeting rigid expectations for behaviour, learning and development,” says Thomas Armstrong, PhD, and author of Awakening Your Child’s Natural Genius. “The reality is that individuals grow and learn in remarkably different ways.

When we allow people to develop according to their natural rhythms, and learn in their own unique way, we make it possible for them to achieve a sense of meaning in their lives and enable them to share their remarkable gifts with those in their world.”

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ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

The reality is that individuals grow and learn in remarkably different ways.

Perhaps your son can build team dynamics by being in a band, suggests journalist and author Sarah MacDonald.

He can learn teamwork in a drama group and cooperation working on an art project. Likewise you can cultivate humility in defeat in playing other games, like chess or monopoly, and learn leadership as member of a Scouts group.

“When my son was five years old, I watched him try to climb the monkey bars at a friend’s birthday party. He really struggled and over the years, I’ve seen him try to sink a basketball into a hoop, stand in front of the wickets with dread to face an oncoming ball and try to scale a wall in an obstacle course, all to prove to others that he can be like them. I’ve always hated that he tries so hard to conform because I worry that he’ll never get the opportunity to show people his own special talents,” says a Joburg mom of a 12-year-old boy who is lean and smart but not sporty.

Foreman contends that society has instilled a fear in us that if our boy doesn’t play sports, that he is uninvolved or lazy and he is clearly sitting around doing nothing.

“We ignore the statistics behind head trauma. We ignore the statistics regarding how many of those boys actually play in university or beyond. We ignore whether our children are enjoying themselves. We ignore what their true passion might be. We ignore that competitive sports keep them so busy, they have little time for much else.”

Foreman and other parents question the merits of funnelling your son into a system they don’t fit into and wonder whether we should rather defy the rules and simply say “you, my boy, are enough.” If school and, more important, childhood is about developing the whole person, how do you develop the part that doesn’t like sport?

magazine durban

tips for developing a non-athletic son

#1

alternate fine motor and gross motor skills

Drawing, cutting with scissors, puzzles and even typing on the computer builds fine motor (small muscle) skills. Gross motor (large muscle) activities use the arms and legs. You could go outside and throw a tennis ball around, and afterwards you can draw a picture of the experience.

Get creative, the whole idea is using both areas of physical development.

#2

model moves

You are your child’s role model. They are always watching you and while they might not take up your interests, they will be curious about them. Give them a little basic sports info at a time, suggests playgrounddad.com, and help them succeed in even a basic understanding of a sport or activity in which you participate. The grasp of how something works makes it more interesting than something you don’t “get” at all.

#3

playing to his strengths

It may seem like common sense, but finding out what your son is good at, or what is his natural talent, will help you hone in on an activity that is fun and that he can participate in without fear of failure. Keep building on those strengths and embrace his interests. Your support will instil a sense of self-worth and accomplishment, and his emotional wellbeing will be boosted by the fact that he’ll always have someone in his corner. *Name has been changed

August 2016

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parenting

do you hear me?

All children crave attention, but some demand far more than others. And if we don’t take care, a toddler who throws tantrums can turn into a teen drama queen or puffed-up prince, and a self-absorbed adult others avoid, making everyone’s life miserable – including their own.

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at home

Constant interrupting, whining or throwing tantrums can turn home or social visits into a minefield. But until around age seven, children can struggle to prioritise their wants and express them clearly, and their easiest option may be attention-seeking behaviour.

“We often expect children to behave in a certain way without teaching them the skills that they need,” says Scholtz. “You need to take time to help children verbalise their feelings. Dan Siegel calls this ‘name it to tame it’. Children who can ask for what they really need will not need to whine, cry or scream as much.” It can seem exhausting to have to teach these skills, but part of teaching is modelling, she says. Telling a child: “I know you get so angry when something disappoints you” can diffuse a situation much faster and more gently than offering a punishment or reward.

“If my daughter is not centre stage, she’s acting up,” sighs Durban interior designer Martina*, mother of lively four-year-old Kelly*. “I’ve started working from home and have a part-time nanny, but Kelly plays up unless she’s ‘working’ near me. Then she constantly interrupts, even when I’m on the phone. And when I leave to visit clients, she throws tantrums unless I promise to bring something. One reason for working from home is to spend more time with her, but I’m beginning to think play school is an option.”

advice: ✻✻ Try to understand the attention-seeker’s reasoning. “She might need more stimulation than a nanny can give, especially if you are not available to play either,” says Steyn. ✻✻ Keep calm. Yelling back or lashing out will just make her more anxious (that you may leave her) and likely to seek attention. It models the very behaviour you don’t want.

Take a time-out yourself if need be – breathe deeply and regain control. ✻✻ Use distraction. “It’s the best way to prevent meltdown,” says Scholtz. Equip yourself with a few stock options – things your child enjoys and will find more interesting than continuing down the whining road. A younger child might be happy with “Let’s make tea for teddy,” she suggests.

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

i

t may drive parents mad, but attention-seeking behaviour is, at its base, a survival mechanism. Getting attention can help keep us alive in a crisis. As vulnerable newborns, we wail to make known our need for feeds, nappy changes and to be held – to feel safe and protected. But as we grow, the craving for constant attention should decrease as we learn to meet our own needs and become independent.

When that primitive survival drive persists at full bore, it’s counter-productive, alienating others. So why do some children still do it?

“Mostly it’s because we’ve inadvertently taught them that in the short-term, at least, it produces the responses they want,” says Joburg counselling psychologist Karin Steyn. If constantly whining “Uppy, Mom, uppy!” gets them carried, and tantrums produce packets of chips or later curfews, they are being encouraged in that behaviour. And even if it comes with negative consequences – angry words, a smack from an over-stretched parent – this can seem preferable to being ignored.

In some cases, research now suggests attention-seeking may be more than a behaviour problem, or a character trait (if your child comes from a line of extrovert, drama-queens) – it can be hard-wired into the child’s brain (see “talking science”). Mostly, however, the way to manage it is to see it for what it is, understand it, and once health or other possible problems have been ruled out, to counter it with unsolicited love.

“Children don’t just need attention, they need to feel connected to their parents, to have their feelings validated and their experience of their world understood,” says Anwen Scholtz, an educational psychologist at a Durban primary school for children with learning difficulties.

“In our fast-paced world, this is something harried parents can compromise in their survival within a cut-throat concrete jungle. “A child’s behaviour might be a message that more authentic connection is needed. You might need to slow down and talk about the day, the children’s worries and dreams. You might need to learn how to listen and genuinely enjoy the time you spend with your children. A recent study in the US found the average family spent 52 minutes a week in quality time. Of course, screen time was not considered quality time...”

By GLYNIS HORNING

✻✻ Help your child calm down. “When she’s very emotional is not a good teaching moment,” says Scholtz. “Calm her by empathising with her feelings: ‘Oh no! I see the lovely ship you just built has broken. It’s okay to be sad and frustrated’.” Then talk about making a plan. Tell her you can’t understand whiny voices, and it’s not polite to interrupt. Perhaps organise a secret signal for when she does this. ✻✻ Give plenty of unsolicited attention. “Put aside even a few minutes a day for one-onone time, allowing your child to direct the play or choose the activity,” says Steyn.

“She’s more likely to feel recognised and important.” ✻✻ Actively reward the child when she is not playing up, says Scholtz: “I’m so happy when I’m cooking and listening to your quiet playing noises”. ✻✻ Don’t try to make her feel guilty by telling her what a tough day you’re having and how she is adding to it – you can compound her worry and the problem. “But if you overreact to a child’s behaviour, it can be helpful to tell them you’ve had a rough day, but shouldn’t have taken it out on them,” says Scholtz. ✻✻ If the behaviour persists, see your paediatrician to check there is no underlying health or mental health problem, such as ADHD.

Children don’t just need attention, they need to feel connected to their parents, to have their feelings validated.

at school

From constantly raising their hands (“Me, pick me!”) to acting class clown or bullying, attention-seeking behaviour at school can be hugely disruptive. It can affect an already stressed teacher and the class, and lead to the child being labelled, judged and shunned, making the problem worse. It can also have various causes, including concentration or other learning problems and low self-esteem, though some children are just more outgoing than others, says Scholtz.

“Jabu* was always joking around, and when that didn’t work, he’d start fights,” says the eight-year-old’s mother, Thabeka*, from Pietermaritzburg. “The teacher wanted him out, especially because he was behind in his work. But when I was called in, I explained that his dad left after I got breast cancer last year. Jabu also helps look after two younger children.”

advice: ✻✻ Speak to teachers about problems at home that may affect your child’s behaviour in attention-seeking or other ways. ✻✻ If you are unable to give your child the attention you would like to, try to find someone who can – a gran, teacher, church member or NGO worker. ✻✻ Make sure you find time for your child in the evenings, over weekends and holidays, and do your best to attend special events in her life, says Steyn. ✻✻ Teachers should be trained in deflecting attention-seeking behaviour, from ignoring it to diverting children, and giving praise for good or calm behaviour. ✻✻ If the behaviour is linked to poor self-esteem, help them find an area in which they excel, from art or sport to just tidying the classroom. “Help them feel they are special and lovable and not known only for their problems,” says Steyn.

the only child

Because only children don’t have to share your love and affection, or their toys and clothes, some may see themselves as the centre of the universe, causing complications outside the home and in later life.

“Avisha* was a real little princess by the time she started pre-primary,” laughs Lallie*, Benoni mom of the 10-year-old, ruefully. “But her teacher was great, teaching all the children to share and take turns. She put Avisha gently in place, and put her in charge of

magazine durban

a smaller girl, praising her for being a good role model. The tantrums stopped, and this year she was voted class monitor.”

advice: ✻✻ Talk to your child about sharing and helping others, and, more importantly, model it, to encourage empathy and help them be less self-centred. “Help them create an opportunity to show their love and care for others through planning surprises,” says Steyn. “Encourage the child’s own initiative.” ✻✻ Arrange visits with other children from a young age. “Children will learn from natural consequences that to share and be kind and generous takes them further,” says Steyn.

arrival of a sibling

Adjusting to the change from being an only child can trigger attention-seeking behaviour, but this can also happen when there are already other siblings. As Adele Faber, author of Siblings Without Rivalry, puts it, “The arrival of a new child is interpreted as ‘less for me’.

Less lap, less time, less attention…” It can be threatening, especially for children aged 18 months to three years old – earlier they are largely oblivious to the change, and later they have other interests. Some act out with jealousy, aggression and regression (bed-wetting, thumb-sucking).

“I caught my son pinching his baby sister, then one day he bit her toe. I was horrified,” says Cape Town mom Heather*, of her three-year-old son. “I bit his toe, to show him what it was like. But the next day I found him putting our cat on her face. His granny had told him cats could smother babies.”

advice: ✻✻ How well children deal with the arrival of a sibling depends on how well you manage this transition and reassure the child they are still safe, loved and acknowledged, says Steyn. ✻✻ Be empathetic and reassuring: “It’s hard with changes in the family, but it will be fun, too.” ✻✻ Set realistic expectations: don’t promise an instant playmate. Tell the child about when he was a baby. ✻✻ Give him a role: “You’ll be the baby’s teacher,” and involve him in showing her to visitors. “Remember to talk about the older child’s accomplishments to others, especially when they can overhear you,” says Steyn. ✻✻ Plan one-on-one time each day, perhaps snuggling and reading to him while baby nurses. ✻✻ Give lots of hugs and remind him that love stretches and there’s plenty to go around. *Names have been changed

talking science According to reports in Psychology Today and the American Journal of Psychiatry, extreme attention-seeking and “drama addiction” can sometimes be a response to early developmental trauma triggered by neglect, abuse or trauma. The developing brain adjusts to early conditions so as to survive in a world where these prevail. Lack of attention can then be registered by the unthinking amygdala area of the brain as a frightening threat; and while the thinking parts (anterior cingulated cortex) should be able to counter that, extreme stress can limit the availability of serotonin to manage that, suggest the researchers.

Drama can also stimulate the pituitary gland and hypothalamus to produce endorphins (natural opiates), resulting in an addiction, of sorts, to drama. But while you may not be able to rewire the brain, it’s possible to manage the effects of early neglect, abuse or trauma, with counselling, psychotherapy or play therapy for children, says psychologist Karin Steyn.

August 2016

19

books

a good read

for toddlers Go, Go, Gorilla!

By Lydia Monks (Published by Egmont Books, R146) Gorilla is coming for a visit, but how are they going to entertain her? What does a gorilla like to do? Will it be skiing? Or what about skating? It could be swinging...

You’ll soon see in this delightful picture book about finding fun in everything you do.

for toddlers Rosie’s Hat

By Julia Donaldson and Anna Currey

for pre-schoolers The Rainbow’s Heart

By Richard Latimer

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R163) This is the story about one little girl, one smart hat, a sudden gust of wind and a whole hatful of adventures.

And what an adventure this hat is enjoying: meeting playful dogs, floating in the ocean, turning into a nest and so much more.

(Published by Bumble Books, R149) When cousins Dusty Rhodes and Bob Wyre are asked to save a mysterious colony of bees, they must follow a honeyguide across Africa, through border posts and foul weather – all the way to the rainbow’s heart.

But will they be in time to rescue the bees, and will their plan to save them work?

for early graders Encore, Mr William Shakespeare! – A Sticker Activity Book

By Marcia Williams

early-graders African Folk Tales series

By Sindiwe Magona and Nicole Blomkamp

(Published by Walker Books, R133) Marcia Williams brings five of William Shakespeare’s best-loved plays to life with puzzles, games, drawing, colouring and over a hundred stickers for children.

(Published by David Philip Publishers, from R51) This is a lovely series of African folk tales for children six to eight years old. In The Stranger and his Flute, the town is plagued by mice, and the mayor must make a plan because the town folk didn’t pay for him to be “fat and lazy”. Greedy Man, Kind Rock tells the tale of Hlohlesakhe, a man who remembered his neighbours when good fortune fell on him. The Woman on the Moon explains what happens when everybody decides to no longer obey the rules. Soyiso learns an important life lesson in Buhle, the Calf of many Colours. In Nokulunga, Mother of Goodness, beautiful Nokulunga gets married, and her mother gives her a special pot, one that has to be used wisely... Stronger than a Lion is a fable with a strong message.

for pre-teens and teens The Mastery Club

By Liliane Grace (Published by Grace Productions, R337) This novel, about five children who form a club to support each other in achieving their goals and dreams, is packed with practical tools and information about goal-setting, constructive thinking, how the mind works, and character values like persistence, courage and a good attitude.

for us Dyslexia in the Classroom

By Dr Carine Mays (Published by Go Focus, R195) This book takes you on a powerful journey through the life of a dyslexic student. An invaluable guide for teachers and educators, it explains why dyslexics struggle. Understand their way of processing information, and experience how they feel in the classroom. Be equipped to identify possible dyslexics and use the tools to help them. Order the book from gofocus.co.za

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August 2016

for us Braai: Reuben on Fire

By Reuben Riffel (Published by Quivertree, R380) As an ode to the quintessential South African cooking style, Reuben takes you on a road trip through his past. From hunting and cooking pigeons on the farms of Franschhoek, as a child, to his travels where he learnt how to experiment with unexpected flavours and exotic ingredients. magazine durban

resource

design trends Introduce children to the visual world of design, by exploring the various landmarks in your city. By TAMLYN VINCENT

The MakerSpace This design venue is all about getting people to express their creativity in a physical way.

It encourages people to get together, work creatively, and inspire each other to engage with new technology. The MakerSpace is working to develop a community of makers by providing a creative playground equipped with cutting edge low volume manufacturing technology. Some of the equipment on offer includes laser cutters, 3D printers, and CNCs (Computer Numeric Control machines). Classes are available for novices and experts and include everything from laser cutting images on cutting boards and making silver rings, to building a robot or crafting your own leather bag. A school programme is also available where children can learn about, and experiment with, these design techniques, making items like toys, robots, clocks and even a 3D-printed self-portrait. Plus holiday programmes often take place in the longer holidays.

Location The Foundry, 43 Station Dr, Durban Contact themaker@themakerspace.co.za or themakerspace.co.za

Suncoast Casino

Moses Mabhida Stadium

PHOTOGRAPH OF CASINO: Gimas / Shutterstock.com | PHOTOGRAPH OF STADIUM: Daleen Loest / Shutterstock.com

Perhaps one of Durban’s most iconic buildings, the Moses Mabhida Stadium, was built for the 2010 Fifa World Cup. The design, with the signature Y-shaped arch (inspired by the South African flag), stands out against the Durban skyline and catches the eye of locals and tourists alike. Budding design enthusiasts can see a lot more than just the arch. The façade of the stadium, with more than 100 columns, allows for natural ventilation and the roof is made of 46 000 m² of Teflon-coated glass fibre membrane that makes the stadium look like it’s glowing when it’s lit up. The centre arch, 106m high and weighing in at 2 600 tonnes, is not just a design feature, as The SkyCar takes visitors up to the highest point, where they can take in the panoramic views of the city and ocean. Stadium tours and other attractions are also available, as are a number of restaurants and shops.

Location 44 Isaiah Ntshangase Rd, Durban Contact 031 582 8242 or mmstadium.com

Phansi Museum Home to over 4 000 artefacts, the Phansi Museum has one of the largest collections of African art and crafts in the world, open to the public. The collection includes Zulu, Xhosa, Shangaan and Ndebele beadwork, carved wooden platters, ceramic beer pots, telephone wire baskets, walking sticks, carved spoons and more. Visitors can also see a display of life-size marionettes, dressed in the traditional garments of different tribal regions of Southern Africa. The beadwork, jewellery and ceremonial accessories give insight into the unique designs used in these cultures. The museum is housed in a fully restored Victorian house, built in 1898 and once home to anthropologist Esther Roberts. Roberts House, a national monument, is itself an important example of the middle class British colonial style villa built in the late 19th century.

Location Esther Roberts Rd, Glenwood Contact 031 206 2889, admin@phansi.com, phansi.com or Facebook: Phansi Museum

magazine durban

Durban has a rich history of art deco, a style of design characterised by bold geometric shapes and stylized patterns, and examples of this architecture can be seen in buildings dating from the 1930s onwards. The Suncoast Casino, designed to complement this art deco heritage, can be seen as an example of modern art deco, especially with its strong use of colour and fluorescent lighting.

The casino, along with the International Convention Centre and uShaka Marine World, forms part of the Golden Triangle, and is an important part of the rejuvenation of the Golden Mile. It’s situated at the northern end of the mile, and is home to many restaurants, a beach bar, cinemas and beach, which was rated as one of the top three beaches in South Africa.

Location Suncoast Boulevard, Marine Parade Contact 031 328 3000 or tsogosun.com/suncoast-casino

Durban City Hall Finished in 1910, the Durban City Hall features bold designs in a Neo-Baroque style, an architectural style used in the late 19th century. This building is the second city hall, built after the first (now the Durban post office) proved to be too small for the growing city.

The City Hall takes pride of place in the centre of Durban and is home to the Durban Art Gallery, the Natural Science museum, an auditorium and a library, all of which offer their own insights into the arts. On the outside, you can see a variety of allegorical sculptures, representing arts, commerce, music, literature and industry. You’ll also see a statue of, among others, Her Majesty Queen Victoria and one commemorating volunteers in the Boer War of 1899–1902.

Location 212 Anton Lembede St, Central Durban Contact 031 311 1111 or durban.gov.za

August 2016

21

what’s on in

calendar

august

Access an extended calendar online at

childmag.co.za or submit an event for September before 5 August to durban@ childmag.co.za

Compiled by TAMLYN VINCENT

Sunflower Day schools competition

more info or to enter online: sunflowerfund.org.za

In this version of George Orwell’s classic novel, the themes, characters and ideas behind the text stay the same, but the production has a South African angle. School performances are in The Playhouse Drama Theatre on 2, 4 and 5 August at 9am and 12pm and 6 August at 10am, and tickets are R70. Contact doreen@ thinktheatre.co.za. Public performances are on 6 August at 10am and 7pm, and 7 August at 3pm; tickets are R95 at computicket.com

Thomson Verses Thomson

Slipper Day

Head to Pick n Pay in August to get your Tube of Hope – Tope – to show your support on Sunflower Day on 16 September. For the competition, take

The way we were Cat Simoni performs Barbra Streisand her way, from musicals, movies and unforgettable songs, such as “The Way we Were” and “Woman in Love”.

The show is at the Rhumbelow Theatre in Umbilo at 8pm on 5 and 6 August, and 2pm and 6:30pm on 7 August. Tickets are R140 at computicket.com

5

photos of your class, or your whole school, doing something creative with their Topes and upload them to the Facebook Page: Sunflower Day Schools Competition – Gallery. You could win a prize for your school and your class might be the lucky recipients of a special surprise from the Spur Foundation. For

Durban musicians Barry Thomson, on guitar and vocals, and Calli Thomson, on piano and vocals, present an intimate and

are

on 14 August. The show takes place at Rhumbelow Theatre in Umbilo and tickets cost R140. Book through computicket.com

5

material and old hits at

Andre the Hilarious Hypnotist With his dry wit, strange sense of humour and his ability to turn your best friend into anything from a sprinkler to Superman, Andre will have the audience in stitches.

Gateway. Doors open at

Shows are at 7:30pm from 9–13 August and

at 8pm and tickets are R200. For more info: barnyardtheatres.co.za 22

August 2016

info@slipperday.

co.za or slipperday.co.za

6

The Barnyard Theatre,

6:30pm, the show starts

info:

Moses Mabhida Stadium. Pay R80 online or R100 at the

Tickets are R100. Contact 031 566 3045

8

at R10 each. For more

wedding mall. It runs until 7 August, from 9am–5pm at

at The Barnyard Theatre in Gateway.

new

Wimpy or Pick n Pay stores

Wedding Expo brings the bride-to-be a comprehensive

Saturday from 23 July–27 August at 1:30pm,

perform

any

choosing your wedding dress and make-up artist, The

one hit songs from 2015. Shows are every

giants

from

From booking your venue and photographer to

rock the house with the greatest number

music

available

The Wedding Expo

dancers taking things to the max as they

African

for this annual Reach for a

and 13 August, and 2pm and 6:30pm

South

by wearing your slippers Dream fundraiser. Stickers

Experience the Kidz Rock band, singers and

The Parlotones

to thousands of sick children

funny musical show. Times are 8pm on 12

Kidz Rock The Hits

or barnyard.durban

You can bring a little magic

17–20 August, and 3pm on 14 and 21 August at the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre in Glenwood. Tickets cost R90 at computicket.com

9

door. For more info: wedding-expo.co.za

12

Proud 2b an Organ Donor mega walk

Join this fun walk to raise awareness during Organ Donor Month. You don’t have to be an organ donor to walk. A Kidzone is available with plenty of fun, free activities. The walk starts at 9am (check in from 7am) at the Suncoast Sundeck. Adults pay R90 (R80 online), children pay R60 (R50 online), and children under 3 are free, but must still register. For more details go to odf.org.za magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.com

1

2

Animal Farm

magazine durban

August 2016

23

calendar

19

The Biggest Plant Fair in KZN

13

Dante Cup family fun day

The day includes a five-a-side soccer tournament

Part of the Sustainable Living Exhibition, where

20

Caversham

for men, and entertainment for all, including

displays of flora, fauna and conservation inspire

information morning

a jumping castle, face-painting, performers

a greener lifestyle, the Indigenous Plant Fair has

For those who are interested in teaching

beautiful plants on sale. Find specially selected plants

young children, learn about the NQF level 5

and store them in allocated bays for collection later.

ECD qualifications offered by the Caversham

and more. The day runs from 8:30am–3pm at

St

Henry’s

Marist

College,

Glenwood.

Teams pay R500, entry fee is

authors on trees, birds, flowers and butterflies. Entry

R10 and children under 16 enter free.

Contact

031

563

Experts can assist you and you can engage with is free. The show runs from 19–21 August, 9am–5pm

7633

or ladante@dantedurban.com

21

Eden Eco Greenfest

Eden College Durban hosts their sixth annual

Institute. The session runs from 9am–11am at The Nkulisa Centre, Penzance Primary

daily, at the Durban Exhibition Centre. For more info:

School, Glenwood. For more info: 031 206

indigenousplantfair.org.za

2000 or caversham@telkomsa.net

22

Rowan Stuart This

local

soul/folk

singer-

songwriter-guitarist performs

23

Little Maestros

With this concert series, aimed

specifically at younger listeners, Little Maestros

Green Festival. The event promotes green and

one show only, following his winter tour across South

offers a relaxed environment where little ears learn

sustainable living and has family activities and

Africa. He is supported by vocalist

through Mozart, Bach and well-known nursery

entertainment, such as interschool competitions,

and multi-instrumentalist Cheryl

rhymes. The theme for this class is “The Happy

exhibitions, a fashion show, local live bands

Engel of Connecting Stars.

Harp”, taking place from 3pm–4pm at L’Aperitivo

and performances and more. There is also a

Doors open at 6:30pm and

Venue in Umhlanga Ridge. For costs or further

healthy food market and eco-fleamarket. It

the show starts at 8pm, at The

details, call 076 835 6561, or book at quicket.co.za/

takes place at 84 Dan Pienaar Rd in Glenmore

Barnyard Theatre, Gateway.

from 10am–2:30pm. For more info: 031 205

Tickets are R120. To book go

5392 or edengreenfest@gmail.com

to barnyardtheatres.co.za

Teacher training workshop 7: sensory play for pre-schoolers This workshop looks at preparing young children for optimal learning. It takes place at Khanyisa School and Therapy Centre in Umhlanga, at 2pm–5:30pm. Workshops covering dealing

Jomba! Contemporary Dance Experience

The annual dance showcase includes the Jomba! Fringe, featuring contemporary and fusion dance, and the Youth Fringe, which provides a space to celebrate young, up-and-coming dancers under the age of 16. It takes place from 24 August– 3 September. For programme details go to Facebook: Jomba! Contemporary Dance Experience

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with ADHD in the classroom and sensory play for pre-schoolers take place at Underberg Primary school on 12 and 13 August respectively. Pay R595, or R499 per person for bookings of four or more.

For more info: sensoryintelligence.co.za/events

26

The Student Expo

The expo offers informative and stress-free student career advice. It provides both current and prospective students with the necessary tools to succeed in finding

Pick n Pay Women’s Walk This fun 5km walk is held in aid of breast-cancer awareness and all funds raised go to PinkDrive.

The walk, starting from Sunkist Lawns, is open to women, men and children. Adults pay R50

professional, tertiary education as well as guide them

and children under 18 years old pay R25.

towards a suitable career. It’s on from 9am–6pm on 26

Tickets are available at select Pick n Pay stores

August and 9am–3pm on 27 August at Watercrest Mall.

or online at Webtickets. For more

For more info: student-expo.com

info: picknpay.co.za/womenswalk

Inchanga Choo Choo Take a train ride along the Valley of 1000 Hills Route to the Inchanga Station Craft Market. The train departs at 8:30am and 12:30pm from Kloof Station on Old Main Road. Adults pay R200 and children 2–12 years old pay R140. Contact Bruce on 082 353 6003 or book online at umgenisteamrailway.co.za 24

events/19169-little-maestros/#/

August 2016

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27

markets Durban Lifestyle Market An outdoor market with a variety of stalls, food, fashion and crafts, a children’s play area and a braai and beer garden. It takes place on 7 August, from 9am–3pm, at 29 Cobham Grove, off Arbuckle, off Umgeni Road. Find out more at lifestylemarket. weebly.com Essenwood Market Enjoy a fun family day of shopping, alfresco meals and live music. There are carnival games and rides, a fully-equipped playground and free pony rides. Open every Saturday from 9am–2pm at Berea Park. Contact 082 460 0625 or info@essenwoodmarket.com The Bellevue Market A family-friendly artisan market focusing on local talent on the last Friday of every month, and offering food, wine, craft beer, fashion and decor. It takes place on 26 August from 4pm–8pm at the Bellevue Campus in Kloof. For more info: 083 703 9767

magazine durban

next month in september is our “get active” issue on street 25 August

PHOTOGRAPH: meganhancockphotography.co.za

in this issue: ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻ ✻✻

family fun – safe ways to get fit life skills our children really need cookie recipes to celebrate heritage day family-friendly mountain bike getaways sun safety at home and at school

we also look at: ✻✻ boosting mom-to-be’s immune system ✻✻ why you should get your baby swimming ✻✻ common reasons why children need therapy

plus

a new look at ADHD

To advertise call: (031) 209 2200 or email: dbnsales@childmag.co.za Booking deadline: 8 August | Material deadline: 11 August

it’s

party

time

magazine durban

August 2016

25

finishing touch

planes, trains and garbage trucks ANÉL LEWIS admits she is not successful at planning events.

Erin, Anél and Conor

’m not much of an event planner. In fact, that’s part of the reason I studied journalism – so that I could write about the events other people planned. But being a mom has forced me to explore a whole new range of skills I never thought I would need. Take first aid, for example. Who would have thought that rubbing an ice block over a toe would make it easier to remove a pesky shard of glass? Gymnastics is another skill I seem to have unwittingly mastered. You should see me vault over a couch, a coffee table and a sleeping cat to catch a cup full of chocolate milk before it falls onto the lounge’s white carpet. But despite these talents that I seem to have picked up, event planning is still not my forte, and birthday parties fill me with dread.

There’s the quandary of who to invite. If I left it up to Conor, it would be me and his dad, Thomas the Train and that guy who collects tickets on the Polar Express. And if I asked him on a Tuesday, he would throw in the “garbage truck guys” as well (don’t ask; he’s going through a municipal services phase).

When pushed to come up with a more inclusive guest list, I was told: “No gills.” Okay, so a Nemo party was definitely off the cards, then? As I started to rattle off the names for Conor’s guest list, I was told again that “no geels” were allowed. The penny dropped. No girls!

Seeing as this would exclude me, his sister, Erin, and much of our friendship circle, we reminded him that no girls meant fewer gifts.

With the guest list duly amended, we could move on to the theme. Conor insisted that he wanted a Hot Wheels party. Delighted that we had progressed from the locomotive – the theme of his parties for the past two years – I set about organising a racing car cake and party favours.

Only to be told a few days later that he hated cars and wanted a firetruck party.

I compromised, and changed the theme to “planes, trains and automobiles” to make sure we had all our bases covered – including garbage trucks, just in case.

Conor agreed and we booked a spot at the Blue Train Park.

The night before the festivities, Conor was beside himself with excitement. I sometimes wonder if children really notice all the effort that goes into planning a party.

So, I was amazed when Conor insisted on helping to assemble the party packs. As we dropped in the last bag of chips, he said, “Thank you for organising my party, Mom and Dad.” The appreciation was so heartfelt, and directed at both Craig and I, that we were a bit taken aback. The next morning, when we showed him the beautiful racing car cake with his name on, Conor could not contain his joy. “Is this for me, Mom? Thank you so much. This is going to be the best birthday ever.” It didn’t matter that this was to be his third train/car/plane party in almost as many years. Conor was just so grateful for all the hard work and love we had put into making the day special for him. And that made it the best party ever; for all of us.

Anél is looking for online courses in event management, just in case Conor decides to explore more adventurous party themes next year.

family marketplace

26

August 2016

magazine durban

PHOTOGRAPH: Susie Leblond Photography

i

Not even birthday parties for four year olds.